#is it funnier if they are actually talking about something super serious and jim almost died

[evenstevensranked]

#22: Season 3, Episode 17 - “Snow Job”

In order to get out of an Algebra midterm, Louis fakes a snow day outside of Principal Wexler's house and gets himself suspended from school. Meanwhile, Ren has one week to master Pole Vaulting after accidentally injuring LJH’s best athlete. Phyllis Diller guest stars!

This one opens with the gang in Mr. Lopez’s algebra class. We’ve never seen or heard of Mr. Lopez before, but he seems pretty cool imo. Like one of those teachers who genuinely cares about his students. I really like his character. This first scene is a montage of Twitty, Tawny and Louis up at the board. Twitty and Tawny are solving their equations at the speed of light, whereas Louis is constantly getting tripped up. I’m already relating to Louis so bad. When it’s time for them to share their answers, Twitty and Tawny seem like Einstein’s spawn in comparison to Louis, who drew a map of Utah:

Louis attempts to explain how he worked out the equation, but obviously.. he has no idea. He glances at the clock and sees there’s only, like.. 30 seconds until the bell rings. So he stalls in the most glorious way possible: “I got 2x + 7x to the 5th times Y........ to which I say.... why not? Why do fools fall in love? These are all very big questions.” I love this quote so much. Of course, the bell rings and he successfully dodges answering. 

Mr. Lopez knows that Louis is struggling and really wants him to ask for help on his own. He subtly extends that invitation by asking if anyone has any questions because “the only stupid questions are the ones you ask yourself on the bus ride home” -- Which is incredibly true and another quote I really like. Louis seems as if he’s genuinely gonna ask a question but then says “...If a chicken had lips, could it whistle? I’ll ask myself on the bus ride home.” -- It’s funny, but also really really upsetting. Mr. Lopez is super disappointed and so am I. There’s also this girl in the classroom who really hates Louis or something. She dramatically shakes her head all annoyed and complains to the kid behind her whenever Louis says anything. It’s actually a little distracting, lol. Keep an eye out for her next time you watch this episode.

The disappointment is palpable. 

Then it cuts to the subplot where Ren is interviewing some of LJH’s athletes for the Wombat Report. Including some girl Olga who’s “the best 9th grade pole vaulter in Sacramento” -- Which confirms that Lawrence Jr. High goes up to 9th grade!! I think that’s the only time in the entire series they actually say the words “ninth grade”! Ren also calls the upcoming competition they’re preparing for “the big meet.” I’m sure Louis would object to this. 

Ren interviews the fantastic Artie Ryan, who makes an appearance as a shot putter lol. He’s apathetic and deadpan as usual (”Buzz off, I’m training.”) which is great. Ren gets the bright idea to try heaving the ball herself... and breaks Olga’s foot. Ouch. Phyllis Diller makes her brilliant cameo as Coach Corns here! Something that always annoyed me is that IMDb lists the character’s last name as “Korns” but the inscription on her jacket is “Corns” lol. I’m assuming the jacket is the legit spelling. I also saw on Twitter a while ago that Phyllis’ cameo happened because Jim Wise was absent and working at MADTV at the time. Anyway, Ren decides to fill in for Olga at the competition even though she has no idea how to pole vault. Coach Corns is skeptical but says “if you’re anything like your brother Donnie, maybe you can learn by Friday!” Donnie is seriously the be-all end-all in the Even Stevens-verse. 

We get few scattered scenes throughout the episode of Ren practicing pole vaulting over and over again, failing at making it over the bar every time. Including one where “Coach Corns” demonstrates how it’s done, which is hilarious and obviously a stunt double of course. 

Much like last week’s episode, they put zero effort into trying to avoid showing the face of the stunt double lol. It honestly makes it funnier. 

After countless failed attempts, Artie walks over and says “You know that you’re supposed to go over the bar, right?” And Ren bites back sarcastically “Really, Artie?! Thanks for that helpful hint.” I can’t help but laugh every time. Ren insists she’ll be ready for competition and Artie mumbles to himself “Yeah, and I’ll be the king of Norway.” It’s so good. 

Louis’ plot continues with this scene, which I love:

It’s not included in this set, but in between the second and third photos Twitty says “And like, she was not a very good babysitter...” LOL. Yeah, I doubt she’d have stellar reviews on Care.com today. 

Twitty and Tawny go on to talk about how Mr. Lopez’s class is so fun and he makes learning algebra so easy and they’re totally gonna ace the midterm!! YAY! ....You just know Louis is feeling like an outsider right about now. Tawny tries to set up a study session, but Louis bails to work incredibly hard on a way to not take the test. We’ve been over this before. If Louis spent a fraction of the amount of time and effort he spends on avoiding schoolwork, he would be an honors student. It’s ridiculous because half of the inventions he comes up with must involve some serious math skills! He’s putting in the work where it doesn’t count lol. And he really goes to extremes this time. He gets Beans to help him with this super elaborate prank to fake a snow day... in Sacramento California... outside of Principal Wexler’s house. He even did that thing where you can override a vacant radio station and recited a whole fake news story on the historic “blizzard.” The craziest part about this, is that he was 99% successful! Wexler totally bought that the storm was legit. And I don’t blame him:

Imagine not wanting to take a midterm that bad. 

There’s some great miscommunication here when Wexler calls LJH to cancel school. The secretary is all “may I ask why?” lol. Seriously. Gotta love miscommunication. Louis almost sorta gets away with everything, until Ren jogs by the house and starts yelling at him and Wexler hears it through the radio. I never used to understand why Ren was out jogging though? It always felt like a biiiit of a forced plot device to me. I used to think “She’d already be at school or at home getting ready!” ...but today, I just realized -- she’s preparing for pole vaulting. Oh my god. I’m such an idiot. It’s funny because I thought I was catching onto some bad writing.. but no. Even Stevens is actually that good. 

This “snow scam” leads to Principal Wexler suspending Louis from school. I love how it’s only a one week suspension, yet Wexler acts like Louis is leaving forever and has his locker cleaned out as if it’s a gateway to The Upside Down: 

Eileen takes off work to homeschool Louis for the week, which is really nice to see. We get a montage of them covering just about every subject and Louis is breezing through the day with flying colors! They even did Theater, where Louis played both Romeo and Juliet. The one-man show costume is a sight to behold:

“It’s very constraining and I���d like to change now.”

Everything’s going well until Eileen drops the bomb “Okay! We’ve covered everything but Algebra!” and the dramatic, dark orchestra kicks in. Louis tries to get out it, but Eileen’s not letting him off the hook. She writes out an equation on the board and leaves him alone for awhile to complete it. When she returns, he’s asleep:

I RELATE TO THIS MORE THAN YOU’LL EVER KNOW. Louis is literally falling asleep during homework to avoid doing it. I did this so many times throughout my academic career and I doubt I’m the only one. It was always with math, too! It was so overwhelming for my little brain... I’d just drift off to sleep and think “Well, if I fall asleep... that’s an excuse for not finishing it!” lol. And I bet you anything that was Louis’ thought process as well. Eileen gives Louis an ultimatum (finish his homework or be grounded for the weekend) to motivate him to finish the equation, so he attempts to do it and pretty much pulls an answer out of his butt. I did this all the time. You sort of convince yourself that you got it right, even though deep down you know it’s totally wrong. “You got it, baby!!” Louis compliments himself. And right about then, Ren enters the room and verbalizes what Louis most likely already knows: “You got it totally wrong, Louis.” This leads to a really nice brother/sister moment. 

Ren wants to know why he put so much effort into skipping one day of school, and he confesses that it’s because he doesn’t understand Algebra. “I’ll try to understand it, but I can’t. I’m the only kid in the class who doesn’t know what’s going on.” I’ve said those exact sentences a million times growing up. This whole scene is honestly so heart-wrenching imo. It further develops Louis’ character and adds to his endearingness. (Don’t even know if that’s a word, but I’m using it.) Ren can’t understand why he doesn’t just go to Mr. Lopez for help. “What’s the worst that could happen?” she asks, and Louis imagines a life of ridicule: 

This is too real. You really do feel like you’ll be a total idiot if you ask for help during class. Even though the chances of your teacher and principal publicly mocking you are zero... you still feel like everyone will be secretly judging you. 

I just can’t stress enough how much I relate to Louis here. His attitude towards struggling with academics is exactly how I felt. Like, no matter how hard you try... You're still the dumbest kid in class. He snaps out of his daydream and tells her “No, I can’t do it. People are gonna think I’m stupid.” And Ren says “Stupid? You may do some really stupid things sometimes but that doesn’t mean that YOU are stupid.” THIS IS SO FREAKING NICE I WANNA CRY LOL. She then empathizes with him by sharing her struggle with pole vaulting. It’s sweet. 

When Louis returns to school, he’s determined to pay extra attention in Algebra class and really focus. But the second Mr. Lopez starts explaining, all Louis can hear is “blah, blah, blah... blah, blah..... blah, blah, blah.................. blah.” It’s hilarious because it’s TRUE. Mr. Lopez opens up the floor for any questions, and I swear to god. I get so emotional every time here. Louis raises his hand and takes a few seconds to muster up the confidence to say “I don’t understand.” .....*sheds a single tear.* Mr. Lopez says to catch up with him after school and Louis is so proud of himself for asking. Ahhhhhh!

Look at dat content face. Awww. Shia’s so great. 

After school, Mr. Lopez explains that there’s usually a gap in the knowledge somewhere when it comes to struggling with Math. This is very accurate. I’ve learned that missing just one little building block of information (with anything in life) can mess you up entirely. So we get a montage of them working for what seems like hours on the basics (1 + 1 = 2) all the way through to Algebra and Louis does soooo well. It’s one of the sweetest, most self-reflecting moments in the series. Louis takes a look at all of the equations he successfully completed and mutters “Good job, Buddy” to himself and I just wanna weep. On top of that.. Mr. Lopez is super nice, calling Louis a genius and such. I just love it. It’s kinda funny how they tried to make the scene look all trippy like the equations were floating all around him just by writing on glass with a marker though, haha: 

I also have to gif this because it reminds me of the confused math lady meme:

Seriously, can we make “Shia LaBeouf doing Algebra” a thing? Even Stevens is ripe with memes that never see the light of day. 

Meanwhile, Ren is at the pole vaulting competition and, well... failing miserably. Just then Louis, Eileen and Steve show up and start running next to her during her very last try. Louis is gushing about being able to do Algebra and Eileen and Steve are just cheering her on haha. Louis shouts the advice “You might wanna put the stick thingy in the ground, Ren!” and then she miraculously makes it over the bar. I NEVER UNDERSTOOD THIS??? Um, where else could she have been putting it this whole time? And it’s not like that alone would help her get over the bar. 

Clearly, the pole is meant to go in the metal space (”ground”)! You’re telling me she’s been practicing for a week and never put it there?!?! Come on. 

Anyway, everyone celebrates and it’s a happy moment. Coach Corns also snatches her own wig and Louis puts it on: 

Even Stevens was seriously ahead of the meme trend. Wigs were flyin’ on Disney Channel in 2002. 

The episode ends with one of the greatest “last minute” bits ever. Ren made it over the bar... So, Artie Ryan becomes the king of Norway:

“I AM THE KING!” -- This show’s humor is unparalleled. 

And that’s it! This is just an awesome episode. Obviously, I love this Louis plot. It’s seriously so great and one of the most relatable topics ever. (Well, for me at least.) Like I said, I feel like this episode is a really great one for Louis Stevens and his character development. Ren’s plot is pretty similar actually. Both plots work together in a “conceive it, achieve it” sort of way. I just really love it. Mr. Lopez is cool. Phyllis Diller is great. Artie Ryan is the best. It’s just good all around ok. This is definitely one of my personal favorites, but I objectively feel like there are some stronger episodes. So, #22 is where it sits. 

Thanks for reading!

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[ac-ars]

What if I like you?

here continues my habit of naming everything -peter, so pedro here isn’t our sl pedro ok

i hope you guys have fun with that

other ficweek fics

Day 3:  “My friend bet me 20 bucks that I wouldn’t walk up to a random underclassman and ask them to senior prom and I’m about to be 20 dollars richer and, no, that doesn’t invalidate the question, you’re actually really cute”

What if I like you?

Luna usually tries to study before the test. Like earlier than fifteen minutes before. She’s pretty fucked, but let’s be real, has any of you guys never forgotten about quiz? Luna did this for the first time and she’s lucky she has all the notes. There’s not much material to remember, yet studying while panicking isn’t any help in revision. At least there’s that it’s lunch break, she can ignore Jim and Yam, sitting by the table  with them and Nina, so this might actually work and let Luna pass this shit.

She’s by the second topic already, feeling really successful when someone taps her arm softly.

“Whoever you are, go away, please,” Luna murmurs not taking her eyes off her notebook. There’s something wrong, because she’s not able to hear any sound, any noise around her and Nina kicks her ankle under the table. Luna sighs leaving her notebook as she turns her head back and chokes.

This is very typical reaction when you turn around just to see very confident and very smug Matteo Balsano.

Matteo Balsano is one of those guys you can see in high school movies. He is smart, actually extra smart and rich, since his parents are diplomats. He is popular of course and those things above are definitely helping, yes, but the reason Balsano is that wanted in their high school is the fact it’s impossible to dislike him. He always wears this smirk on his pretty face. He’s a gentleman, never saying a bad word about anyone (well, maybe only about his best friend Gastón, but details). It’s also unfair that to all those above you have to add he’s impossibly hot. Really unfair.

Yet now, at this very moment his look is even soft and Luna isn’t sure why; they talked maybe few times. First day she entered Blake South College she bumped into his chest. Matteo smiled making fun of her a little, but it was obvious that only jokingly. He helped her with picking her books up and walked to the class she was supposed to have chemistry.

The rest of the times she met him was at Benson’s mansion since the Sol drama happened and Ámbar was making some effort to help Luna with dealing with Sharon’s shit.

Valente was pretty grateful for that even if young, attractive Balsano boy was there too from time to time.

And now he is here just for her, the whole cafeteria gasped few seconds ago, because he’s talking to her, smiling at her and that’s a surprise.

“Matteo,” she mumbles. “Hi.”

“Am I interrupting you much?” he asks with those sparkling eyes and Luna feels her kidneys swap places.

“No-” as she says that all girls by her table snort. “Can I help you with something?”

Matteo grins and Luna is shocked much, she’s never seen this face of his.

“Actually yes, I wanted to take a minute from you. Or maybe two, if you’re willing to let me, of course.”

Luna swallows hard and jumps if her seat. “Yes,” she exclaims definitely too loud. Her eyes run around the cafeteria quickly. “But does it have to be here? Everyone is staring.”

The Balsano boy looks around before chuckling softly. “Yeah, let’s go.” He turns to the girls. “I will walk Luna to the class, so don’t worry about her.” Nina and Jim give him unsure smiles.

“We will still worry, no matter where you walk her.” Yam says as she bites into her burger.

Matteo laughs with small nod and after Luna packs her bag he places his hand on her waist guiding her to the exit. She feels his fingers are cold through her tshirt, but she surprisingly doesn’t mind letting him pull her out of everyone’s reach.

“I’m sorry about that, I forgot those sharks are always watching.” Matteo says first as they go through empty corridor, his hand not moving any away, the other scratches his neck and he apparently is slightly nervous.

“It’s fine, I think.” She shrugs. “You wanted to talk.” Luna smiles curious as hell, forgetting about her test completely.

“Yeah, and I am not sure how to say that and not get kicked by you.”

She giggles trying to shut alert in her head, because it doesn’t sound nice. Her arms cross almost automatically. “That doesn’t sound good at all.”

Matteo bites his lower lip. “Gastón bet money that I wouldn’t ask you to go to the prom with me.” Luna opens her mouth to say something, but he does it before she manages. “And I liked the idea enough to ask you if you would actually go with me.”

Luna stares at him waiting until he bursts with laugh or something, but he doesn’t. To be honest he looks pretty awkward and unsure. “Listen, you can say no. It would be all okay.”

She blinks still not knowing where’s the hidden camera. “You are serious or just messing with me?”

Matteo’s eyes fill with surprise and Luna can’t guess why. Eventually he takes her hand pulling her to the closest bench and sits down, his look fixated on her face. “Luna, hey. It’s just few weeks until the senior prom we have and I still haven’t asked anyone. Gastón got done with me and sneaked the bet. He told me not to tell you by the way, but that wouldn’t be fair.”

Luna smiles sadly, because of course he doesn’t want her to have any stupid hope; he just wants to get money and have a date without stressing and she really gets it.

He wants to say something else, but she’s the one to interrupt this time. “I’ll go.”

Matteo jumps surprised. “Really?”

“Yeah.” She nods softly. “How much money?”

Balsano looks slightly uncomfortable and his eyes are away when he bites his lower lip. “30 dollars.”

She giggles. “You are taking me after the prom to McDonald’s.”

The boy lets out small chuckle. “Any other wishes?”

“Yes, I’m getting your slice of cake.”

Matteo nods laughing softly. “All cake you want.”

She looks at him with melting heart. He has always been super nice and maybe even if it’s just for the bet, they can have some fun together.

The prom night is extra shocking since the very beginning. First her mom helps her with her hair asking about Matteo all the time and giggling at Luna’s blushes. Her dad isn’t grumpy about her leaving with a boy who has never met them, he is just talking how pretty she looks in this dress.

Matteo having nice conversation with her parents about God knows what when she is looking for her perfume and his soft smile when he sees her.

Her mother completely ruining the moment awwing loudly and running for camera. Yet Balsano is managing it patiently, smiling all the time, but Matteo being Matteo must’ve mumbled to her ear how beautiful she is when Monica was taking the picture.

During car ride he is talking all the time about his own mom before he left, about how his dad even told him to have fun and be nice. About all basic things she would like to hear to chill a little.

Matteo plays also her favorite album and when she asks about it he just winks letting her know that he probably stalked her spotify before.

He keeps making sure she’s having fun, asking if she’s hungry or wants something to drink. She gets his cake as he promised, but also Gastón’s cake Matteo steals at some point. She drags him to dance for few times when they are eating or just talking to some of his friends, because that’s my favorite song, Matteo.

He hasn’t left her for a second, no one has looked at her with weird eyes or maybe that’s only what she sees, focused on him all night.

Except her favorite songs they dance to his faves, songs they knew and those they didn’t so they almost don’t leave the dance floor.

Gastón Perida ends up being much funnier than she expected. Luna loves his puns and Matteo’s done faces after every single one of them.

Her phone dies maybe at two or three am so he promises she could text her parents with his own.

It feels too good, too fun to keep her heart beating slowly at his smile and she almost forgets that it was just a bet.

“Do you think they will be looking at us weird?” she asks giggling.

“Probably. I’m too hot to not be surprised.” he answers earning a nudge from Luna. “Of course you are with me and you look even better than I do.”

She shakes her head as they leave the car. His hand goes to small of her back leading her to McDonald’s entrance. There’s no one inside except the cashier. He looks half asleep yawning loudly and Luna tries not to chuckle when Matteo yawns at this too before she pulls him closer to the counter to pick some food.

“Okay, so what do you want, little lady?” Matteo’s arm goes around her shoulders.

“I can have whatever I want, right?” she asks just making sure.

He nods. “And even more.”

“We are getting Happy Meals.”

As soon as she says that she looks at him and bursts with laugh hiding in his chest. Even if his face was confused and terrified he wraps his arms around her. “Are you sure of that?”

Luna pulls away to see him and nods enthusiastically. Matteo covers his face with his hand murmuring something, but she just pulls him to the counter. Pedro, as says his identificator, blinks at them deeply shocked.

Well, seeing two people in fancy clothes, one of them looks really done and the second super excited must be weird at five am.

“Hello,” Luna says with wide smile. “Sorry for waking you up, but I’m hungry and he promised me some fries.” She continues pointing at Matteo.

Pedro nods at them probably really wanting to be at home, sleeping and cuddling his cat.

“Okay, so what can I get you?” he asks with a sigh and Luna looks at Balsano boy grinning.

“We will have two Happy Meals.” she turns to Matteo. “Do you want cheeseburger or nuggets?”

“Choose yourself.” He replies looking away.

“Fine then, we want two Happy Meals and with cheeseburgers and Coca-Cola.”

Pedro nods tapping something on his cash. He raises his eyes at them. “What toys?”

Luna giggles keeping Matteo next to her as Pedro continues. “Don’t worry, I’ve seen worse than this.” With dead voice.

Damn, this guy has to work here for some long time.

Brunette bites on her lower lip. “I think number three and seven.” Pedro nods again in this funny way; like puppy figures in the car, telling them he will let them know when the order is ready.

As soon as Matteo sits in front of her by their tiny table in the corner of window walls Luna grins widely at him. She quickly reaches for her box and opens it looking just for a toy. She finds exactly what she wanted. Now she waits for Matteo to do the same and she doesn’t have to wait long.

“I think this box was meant for you,” he mumbles unpacking pink plastic tiara.

Brunette almost chokes on her fry. “No, Matteo, this one is yours.” His eyes widen before she takes the tiara from his grasp and puts it on his head. “You are a beautiful princess.”

Matteo looks at her with weird eyes and soft smile not saying anything. He slowly reaches for her hand to play with the rings. “You are lucky I like you and I’m letting you do it all.”

At first she just smiles back with blush, but then it hits her.

It just her like a train, Matteo just said he likes her and even if it could’ve meant just like a friend, yet it felt different.

“So what with the bet?” She just asks trying to act casual and stealing his fries.

“There was no bet.” Matteo shrugs. “I never asked anyone before you because I had no idea how to ask you and Gastón offered he’d pay me for doing it, but I never took anything from him.”

Luna smiles fighting with happy dance. “You like me?” she mumbles.

“Oh yes, I’m a whipped cream for you, I can’t help it.” Balsano says winking at her and putting on his charming smile.

“Not only fresa, but also whipped cream. Is there something you’re not?”

Matteo just grins.