#is it because you see him as less important

[impactrueno]

it helps me to remember when i get sad about how annoyed lydia gets in s4 is that she’s fourteen at that point so she is ACTIVELY going through puberty. and we’re all kind of annoyed with the world at that point, even the people we love.

that's very true. she's also known him for years at that point, and he can be uhh a lot. he can't get away with displaying his huge flaws as often as he used to, lydia doesn't allow it, and when he DOES get away with it, the episode ends with lydia disappointed and even outright mad at him. Midnight Scum in particular is so hard to watch, you can see her losing respect for him as the episode progresses and...then it ends. episode over. beetlejuice is horrible, what did we expect?

but yeah season 4 is. whoof man.

sure, you can chalk up part of it to teenage hormones making her more irritable, but i really do think she's just like, at her limit sometimes. i can't blame her, i too want to strangle him a lot of the time and i'm not even the one putting up with his shit, babysitting him or having to deal with the consequences of HIS actions.

this isn't Critter Sitters anymore, she is simply not having it and she won't make a cute little excuse for him "oh he makes me laugh and eats bugs hee hee"

season 4 lydia reacting at his jokes like 😒🙄

she's probably heard that one a thousand times by now. beetlejuice is a static character; he doesn't change, he doesn't go through character development, he doesn't learn his lesson (outright refuses to) but lydia DOES change. and she will continue to change as she grows older. and i KNOW this is a sad theory but i can't help but think that, as she grows and moves forward, she's just...gonna leave him behind.

it'll be hard for her not to. not only is she starting to make her own life and will continue to get busier and busier and not having time to hang out with her ghoulish best friend...she's also maturing. something beetlejuice has never done, and seemingly never will. and as she grows more mature, those puns and pranks and hijinks will become less funny, and his lying, clinginess and refusal to grow will become more evident. season 4 has lydia expecting better of him and being let down, constantly. if it's exasperating for us imagine how it must be for her.

at what point does it become too much? how often has lydia sat and thought about this kind of thing? considering how intelligent and sensible she is for her age, probably more than a few times. this dead guy inadvertently saved this depressed little girl by becoming friends with her and giving her the confidence to be herself and make her own friends. does she know that though? beetlejuice does, he saw it when they showed him the reality in which lydia never meets him. but lydia has no idea (and he will never tell her) so sometimes i wonder if she's missing that key aspect of why he's so important in her life. it's possible she might've come to the same conclusion herself; but even then, these things can be hard to remember when you're having to, once more, clean up after him and the messes he gets them into because his chaotic impulses are always stronger than him. you can tell she's very tired of this. and she will become even more so as time passes.

best friends forever though.

...

...right?

[odoraful]

𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑾𝑰𝑳𝑳 𝑵𝑬𝑽𝑬𝑹 𝑲𝑵𝑶𝑾 𝑨 𝑳𝑶𝑵𝑬𝑳𝒀 𝑫𝑨𝒀 𝑨𝑮𝑨𝑰𝑵

life has been a little less empty for zayne with you in it

⟡ content: zayne x gn!reader; established relationship; a little bittersweet, but still with fluff 🫂; appearance of zayne's parents; bits of zayne's childhood; 1.5k words

⟡ a/n: title is from a quote by the wonderful brennan lee mulligan from the D20 season a court of fey and flowers <3 i was feeling very soft about zayne’s life and this was written as a result :’) i hope this is an enjoyable read !

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Emptiness was something Zayne had grown accustomed to. It was in the streets that he walked on at night following a late surgery shift. It was in the study rooms he frequented as a university student–often the last person to leave once all his peers had gone. It was even in the classrooms of his childhood–remaining there to read and draw whilst everyone else played outside during breaks. Emptiness gave him periods of focus, which was important considering the career path he eventually pursued. Though, he had not always welcomed emptiness as a companion in his life.

The first time that Zayne was left home alone was when his parents went on an emergency trip out of town for work. Being only a child, he wringed his small hands as his parents hurried to pack equipment he did not yet understand. Before they left, they repeated instructions to the young boy about what he should do for the night. Warm up dinner, finish his homework, brush his teeth, go to bed early. They did not repeat these because they believed Zayne would be disobedient, but because they knew how frightening aloneness could be for a child. Having set guidelines for what to do would hopefully help him to feel capable of being by himself.  

“Remember, we’re only a phone call away, sweetie,” his mother reassured, smoothing his hair back with her fingers.

His father lowered himself on one knee to kiss his son on the forehead, tousling his hair and the careful combing his wife had just done.

“We’ll be back by tomorrow,” his father also reassured.

As the door clicked shut, Zayne watched from the window, pushing the curtain aside. After seeing and hearing the whirring engine pull away, he let the curtain fall. He stood at the entrance for a moment.

All became still, and he was greeted by emptiness for the first time.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

He was shocked to feel his heartbeat drumming in his chest and hear every small breath he took. His own internal systems were exposed in silence.

He shuffled further into the house, the once familiar space now feeling too big and labyrinthian. Even his thoughts seemed to echo off the walls as he recalled what his parents had told him to do. Yes, he had tasks he needed to complete. Going through his to-do list would surely rid of the uneasiness bubbling inside him.

Zayne checked things off one-by-one. He tried to focus intensely on what needed to be done to forget about the fact that he was alone.

At last, Zayne retreated to his bedroom. His penultimate task was reading one chapter from the library book he borrowed. However, the words were distant to him as the crawling feeling of isolation left goosebumps on his skin.

Patches of unlit space in his room turned into sinister voids waiting to suck him in. The rustle of wind against windows became Wanderers raking their claws against glass.

He closed his book and snuggled deeper and deeper into the blankets, tucking his head inside and squeezing his eyes shut. He prayed he would have no nightmares tonight. If he did have one, he would wake up to nothing but a hollow room and his heart rattling in his ribcage. Torn between needing rest and not wanting bad dreams, exhaustion eventually took hold.

Zayne awoke not to terrors of the emptiness, but to the comforting touch of his mother. Through his own bleary vision, he saw his mother’s tired but gentle eyes. He sat up groggily. 

“You were so very brave, my dear,” his mother praised.  

“W-where’s Dad?” Zayne asked, sleep lifting with each blink of his eyes.

“He’s making breakfast for us.”

Something flickered in his mum’s gaze after her reply. She opened her mouth, hesitating to speak again.

“Zayne.” She took his hands in hers, brushing a finger over his knuckles. “Me and your father… we need to help as many people as we can, so that means this might happen a lot more as you get older.”

She examined her son’s expression. Zayne nodded.

“We love you very much, and we want you to do exactly as you did last night if this happens again, okay?”

Zayne nodded again, understanding then that he and the emptiness would have to get along from now on.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

At the end of another shift at Akso Hospital, Zayne drove out of the parking lot into the deserted streets of Linkon past midnight. Classical music quietly played in the background as he headed home, unlit buildings passing by in the rear-view mirror.

At the red light, he was the only one waiting. Perhaps this hour of the night meant that phantom cars would be most active, bustling about to do their ghostly activities. That sounded like something you would say to comfort him. Zayne could hear your voice in his head, could see you wiggling your fingers in a poor attempt at mimicking spookiness. The corner of his mouth twitched at his own imagination.

But, you weren’t in the passenger seat beside him this time. He stared out the front windshield, emptiness before him.

Parking the car outside his home, he approached the front door. Hovering his fingerprint over the handle, the sensor gave a small buzz of confirmation before unlocking.

Zayne listed off what he needed to do in his head as he turned the handle and entered. Since he already showered at the hospital, he just needed to change into his sleep clothes, have something to eat, and complete his observations of the day in his journal. Tomorrow (or technically today, though the late hour made it difficult to believe this was a new day) marked the beginning of the weekend when he could spend time with you. If he completed his to-do list diligently, then he could rest quickly and see you sooner.

He slipped his shoes off and undid the laces before putting them beside his other pairs. Zayne expected he would be greeted by an empty, unlit interior. The emptiness was no longer was an unwelcome, unsettling sight like he thought it to be as a child. There was a calmness to it that he had grown to appreciate. But, if he dug deep enough inside himself, there was still a feeling of loneliness he could not quite shake.

That was why he frowned when he saw the lights had been turned on in the living room. He definitely recalled turning them off before he left.

Zayne walked further inside, keeping his guard somewhat up for the possibility of an unwanted intruder.

Rather than a burglar, he was surprised, and much more relieved, to see you instead. Curled up on the couch, a blanket wrapped around your body.

He almost didn’t want to interrupt you. You were so cozy and peaceful, bathed in the warm glow of the lights above. At the sound of Zayne’s footsteps, your tired eyes opened, and your head raised towards the noise.

“Zaynie,” you drawled.

Your voice was crackly with sleep, but your smile was as adoring as ever. Combined with the nickname you used for him, affection tugged at his heart.

He hung his bag up and loosened his tie, joining you on the couch.

“What are you doing here?” he asked softly, brushing loose strands of hair away from your face. “I wasn’t expecting you until tomorrow afternoon.”

“Mmm…” you leaned into his touch. “I thought I’d get a head start and see you earlier.”

 “Earlier being at two o’clock in the morning. You didn’t have to come all this way and wait for me.”

Hearing his point, your lips turned down into a pout.

“Firstly, all this way was only about a 20-minute drive from my place to yours,” you clarified, “and secondly, I wanted to wait for you.”

He breathed a laugh, something between incredulity and fondness. It wasn’t like you didn’t have work today either. Even after your own gruelling shift today fighting Wanderers after a flare-up in a no-hunt zone, you still had the energy to come see him after he finished. Zayne was about to give you a half-serious scolding about staying up late when you leaned closer to him. The words stopped short in his throat as your lips met his cheek.

His face, cold from just being in the night air, blossomed with warmth. Likely due to your tiredness, your reaction time was slower than usual as your kiss lingered for a second or two longer.

“Welcome home, Zayne,” you whispered by his ear as you pulled away.

Home.

His home.

A place that was no longer empty now that you were here. A once solitary existence now filled with your presence.

He wished that he could somehow speak to his younger self. He would say that he would one day be reunited with someone who would wait for him even in the dead of night. That person, with all their endearing stubbornness, would be the one to protect against Wanderers that might be stalking in the emptiness (for they were a renowned Hunter after all), and leave the lights on to dispel any deathly voids.

His mouth parted, breathing becoming unsteady as he whispered back,

“It’s good to be home, my love.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

[fastandcarlos]

Forgotten Thing : ̗̀➛ Max Verstappen

summary: you know just how busy max is, and you understood too, only now you're starting to feel like the forgotten thing in his life

The sound of light snores greeted you as you walked into the apartment, unable to stop your eyes from rolling. Your heart raced as you slipped your shoes off, dropping your bag to the ground with a loud thud, not caring about the figure asleep in your living room.  

“Max,” you called out, standing to the side of the sofa with your arms folded across your chest. 

The sound of your voice had him stirring, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. A smile was on his face for a moment until Max noticed how nice you looked, eyes going wide in horror when he remembered that he had promised to pick you up from work. 

“That was a lovely walk home,” you sarcastically told him, taking a seat on the end of the sofa, “at least you got some rest though, that’s what matters, right?” 

The frustration was clear in your voice as you found yourself let down by Max again. It was becoming a pretty normal feeling for you, to be given empty promises and assured of things that you knew that Max wouldn’t be able to follow through. 

“Don’t be mad, please,” Max asked of you, sitting himself up. “I only planned on closing my eyes for a few minutes, and then I just lost track of time. I mean, all you had to do was walk home from work, it’s hardly the most difficult job in the world. 

Your head shook at how dismissive Max was. “The walk home didn’t bother me Max, it’s the fact that you promised you’d be there. You keep promising and not delivering, it’s like I’m some forgotten, unimportant part of your life.” 

Max brushed his hands over his face as he tried to wake himself up, not quite understanding what you were so fed up about. “I’ve been so busy at work recently I obviously just needed the sleep. We can’t all have a job like yours, some of us are working nonstop.” 

“I see, because my job is a walk in the park, isn’t it?” You scoffed. 

You couldn’t quite believe what you were hearing from Max, he’d always seemed to be supportive, but now you weren’t so sure. It was like the two of you were in competition, with Max clearly feeling like he was winning. 

“It’s not the same, how hard I work and how hard you work is very different. I’ve got a flight to catch early tomorrow morning and you’ve got the next two days off, so I’d say I’m slightly more important,” Max argued. 

Your mouth went wide in shock, letting go of a gasp. You didn’t recognise the man in front of you, the man who usually was so caring and sympathetic had turned into someone who couldn’t care less about you. 

“I’ve always looked after you Max, done absolutely anything for you. It’s a shame you can’t do the same for me. I might as well just leave, that’s how you make me feel,” you spoke. 

Max’s eyes widened once again, his body tensing up. You stood up, feeling Max's eyes watching your every move, slowly backing towards the front door. 

“You wouldn’t actually leave,” Max sniggered. 

“Why not? What is there to make me stay anymore?” You challenged, your voice getting louder. “Why shouldn’t I go somewhere where I actually feel valued and appreciated rather as if I’m nothing.” 

“Love,” Max whispered, brushing a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry that I’ve made you feel that way, it’s just been so hard for the past couple of weeks. I really did intend on picking you up, I set an alarm and everything, but I must’ve just slept right through it.” 

“If you were tired or stressed Max, you should’ve told me, I’d never have expected you to pick me up if I knew,” you sighed, walking back into the room again. 

“But you’re right, I do keep making promises that I can’t keep, so I wanted to pick you up to prove to you that I care.” Max tapped the space beside him on the sofa, inviting you to sit beside him as his hand rested against your leg. 

“I know that you care about me,” you assured him. 

Max’s head shook, “but I’ve not shown you that, when you’re constantly here caring for me, I just take it for granted, we’re supposed to care for each other.” 

You smiled weakly across at Max, knowing better than anyone just how hard he worked. For all his faults, you could never fault how loved he made you feel, even if his mind was elsewhere sometimes. Your hand reached out and pressed against the side of his face, lips pressing against his cheek, unaware of the way Max’s heart raced with relief at the feeling of your lips on him.  

“If you’re free this weekend, do you fancy coming to the race?” Max asked you, “I’ll make sure that we can spend some time together when I’m not needed at the garage. We can explore, have a proper look around.” 

Your head nodded at his suggestion, excited by the thought of being at a race again. It had been a while, you were never quite sure if Max wanted you there or not, but now he couldn’t imagine himself going to the race without you. 

“You don’t need to do this, I know how hard race weekends are,” you assured him, squeezing against his hand, “I don’t need anything to be made up to me.” 

“But you do,” Max defended, knowing just how badly he’d treated you. “I want to make sure you know that I care, I’m going to make sure that we have the best weekend together too.” 

Max moved his free arm around your frame as he pulled you into his side, pressing several gentle kisses against the top of your head. The hold he had on you was more loving than anything you’d felt from him in a while, letting you know just how sorry he was. 

Once he was done, Max kept his head resting on top of yours. “Whatever you want to do whilst we’re there this weekend, we’ll do. I’ll even drive you around and pick you up from the paddock.” 

“Max,” you whispered, but he quickly shushed you, knowing what you were about to say. 

“Don’t tell me that you understand that it’s alright, because it’s not,” he laughed, reading your mind perfectly. “I’ve been a terrible boyfriend and that needs to be put right.” 

“I do understand, you work so hard.” 

“And so do you,” Max responded, “I never should’ve made it sound like your job doesn’t matter, because it does, you’re the hardest working person I know. I’m sorry.” 

“Stop apologising,” you grinned, pressing your head further into Max’s side, “I know how sorry you are Max.” 

A hum came from him as he leant back on the sofa, cuddling you into his side as he draped his legs over the top of yours. 

“Let’s sleep for a bit,” you suggested, placing your hand on his chest, “I know how much better you sleep when you’ve got someone to cuddle.” 

Max nodded in agreement with you, “you can’t be telling anyone how much I love being cuddled to sleep, people won’t think I’m cool anymore.” 

“Leave me stranded at work again and I might just reveal all your secrets,” you teased. 

“You wouldn’t,” Max challenged, watching your head nod out of the corner of his eye. 

“You wouldn’t want to find out.” 

˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗

[sage-nebula]

I've been suicidal many times in my life, and while I could talk about those experiences, given what this post is about, I'd rather talk about something else.

My boss at my previous job was not just my boss. He was my friend, my mentor. I'd met him as a student employee; I still remember the day I went in for my interview, and I asked to speak with "Mr [name]," and the other student employee who answered the door made a face and said, "Hey, Mr [Name], this girl is here to see you" when he let me in because my boss never wanted us to be so formal with him. We were on a first-name basis with him, always. I was nineteen, and super nervous interviewing for my first job that wasn't retail or food service, but he cracked jokes and made me feel welcome. He treated all of us like that.

He was just a really good man. He always stood up for us, every time the university tried to do something that would make our lives harder or less safe. I made a Facebook status once about how I was harassed by a gas station employee near the university, and he commented telling me he'd bring his bat if I needed it. When one of the supervisors ended up overstepping boundaries in a big way with us student employees, he worked overtime to make sure that we would all be safe. When I got promoted to a supervisor position after graduation, and took it upon myself to oversea the yearly Secret Santa tradition for the students (meaning I didn't participate because otherwise I would know who my Secret Santa was), he decided he wasn't letting me go without a present and got me one anyway, despite my insistence that it wasn't necessary.

Unfortunately, he had his own demons to fight. He was going through difficult stuff in his personal life. He told me a lot about it; I was a confidant for him, and at one point he told me I was the only person he could speak to about any of it. More unfortunately still, as much as I wanted to be there for him, I was also struggling to keep my own mental health on track. It was around this time that I was looking into starting antidepressants / anti-anxiety medication for the first time because of how much I was struggling, and I was really focused on getting all of that sorted so that I could stop being tempted by the trains I heard pass by my home every night. Because of this, I didn't check in on him regularly. And so, when his boss called me one morning before my shift was supposed to start and told me that he had taken his own life, I was consumed by more than just shock and grief; I was crushed by guilt.

You see, I blamed myself. Largely because he had told me I was the only one who could confide in, I couldn't help but think that if I had checked in on him more regularly, if I had been there, this wouldn't have happened. I could have prevented it. I could have saved him. He wouldn't have taken his own life, and it wouldn't have been one of his young daughters who found him like that. Not only had I lost a friend of nine years, but I felt like I failed him.

I know now that isn't the case. There were many factors involved, not the least of which being it turns out I wasn't the only one he confided in after all. But it took me a long time to reach that point—a long time until I could honestly say that I didn't feel like it was my fault.

In the midst of depression and suicidal ideation, it can be incredibly hard to see the importance that you have in other people's lives—the place that you have there, that no one else can fill. I know this intimately, because it is something that I struggle with regularly. But even if you can't see it, you have to hold in the forefront of your mind that the importance is there. The impact will be felt. Not only do people care about you, but those closest to you will hold the weight of responsibility for your life on their shoulders for a long time. If nothing else, you don't want that for the people you care about, do you? You don't want to do that to them, do you?

You are not the only one harmed by your suicide. In fact, you're the one who will feel the impact the least. Death doesn't hurt the deceased; it only wounds the living. That's why we have funerals: it's for the sake of those left behind. But no amount of funerals or celebrations of life can assuage the pain left by a suicide. It doesn't help. Notes don't either.

If you're in a place where you're ideating, reconsider. Reach out to someone close to you. Tell them where you are, mentally, and have them come be with you. Believe me when I say that they would much rather sit awake with you all night, than wake up the next morning to a message that you're gone.

Give us the chance to be there for you. It's all we ask.

periodic reminder that your death by your own hand will wreak more havoc on the lives of those you know than you are ever capable of imagining and if you need a sign not to kill yourself this is it. people care more than you know & i am one of them

[elmoees]

Thinking about Husband!Nanami who just knows. What does he know exactly? Every single thing he's supposed to, and everything else.

Husband!Nanami who doesn't have to be asked to do chores. He's a grown man who can clean-up after himself, but he also enjoys the time he gets to spend with you while doing them. Folding laundry together, helping load dishes after dinner, making the bed with you...

Husband!Nanami who knows what products you use off the top of his head. Who bought a replacement for every single one, while you two were dating so he could keep them at his apartment when you stayed over.

Husband!Nanami who sends you a good morning text regardless if he's at work or in the house with you for the weekend. He wants the first thing you see on your phone in the morning to be love from him, because why would he ever choose to treat you less than?

Husband!Nanami who celebrates and remembers important dates without being asked or reminded. Your anniversary? Taken care of months in advance. Your parents birthdays? Taken off with a nice dinner reservation for four. Graduations, trips, even silly holidays are all paid attention too with the same level of importance as the big stuff.

You may fight and bicker with Husband!Nanami, but always know that he loves you dearly.

@/elmoees 2024

[parkersgarage]

a/n:I just be throwing words together and hit post y’all, I can’t even lie.

Sevika x gn!reader (no pronouns mentioned) 747 wc, little angsty but I wouldn’t cry to it (｀_´)ゞ dialogue heavy as per usual!

“Am I still allowed to say, ‘come back in one piece’” you ask quietly, watching her tighten miscellaneous screws on her arm.

Sevika doesn’t get it. Why you’re so suddenly quiet when before you wouldn’t stop yapping her ear off, or when she’d come home, you’d shout and cheer while waking up the whole damn block. But now it’s just quiet.

She hates it.

A look of disappointment crosses your face when you don’t receive any response. Your eyes have never looked so dull and lifeless before.

“I know you don’t like this,” she starts, staring at her hand. She couldn’t look at you. “I don’t either, but this is how I can keep you safe.” A hum is her only response; she takes it.

“Can you talk to me, please?” Sevika nearly bites her tongue at the plea, but you’re the most important thing in her life now and maybe forever. “I can’t read your mind, not as good as before.”

A shaky and deep sigh falls past your lips. With trembling fingers, your hand glides up her arms gently, slowly melding your body against hers. She takes you in just as tenderly, rough fingertips holding your waist while the cold metal of her hand reaches to your neck.

“It’s too much,” you confess, letting your head fall to her shoulder. You couldn’t let her see you. “All of this change, all the blood being spilled, your new employer.” Your voice gets rougher by the end, and Sevika’s heart churns at the anger in it.

Had she known how you would react to it, if she knew how bitter and angry you’d be about her joining the very force she used to fight against, would she still do it?

If she could take back joining, if she had just let it lie and die, could she?

“I’m–” the apology sits heavy on her tongue, waiting to spill out, but all that follows is silence. You wonder, did this new life mean Sevika couldn’t even talk to you?

She sighs, rubbing her forehead as you pull away from her. “I wish I didn’t have to do this just to keep you safe.” She murmured, her head cast low in an attempt to hide. “He told me as long as I work for him, not a single thing would touch your head, and that’s all I want.”

“Vika, we could’ve just left—”

“And where would you suggest we go?” She asks, cutting you off entirely. There’s a snap in her tone that doesn’t go unnoticed, one you couldn’t blame her for. Yet she sighs again, regret on her face– or rather, it was guilt.

“I get it.” You nod, sitting back– away from her. “I’m sorry.” Another sigh; it seems almost never-ending. The dissatisfaction, the hurt, everything. All because of one slight change. “I won’t complain anymore.”

“That’s not what I–” her sentence falls off her tongue when you get up. Just as you move to walk away, her fingers are quick to grasp your wrist lightly. “Don’t go.” She whispers, and shockingly, her eyes turn watery before casting downwards. “Please.”

You sink back down to your knees. Her hand still holds onto you, afraid you’ll walk away again. You can’t tell what’s going on in her head, what internal battle she’s going through, and how this change affects her.

“You should eat.” You say after a beat of silence. She only hums, ultimately leaving the thought behind as she lays her head against your chest. “You’ve had a long day, Vika.”

Her eyes shut as she focused on your beating heart. She felt bad for tuning out your voice, but this is what she needed. To hear that you were alive, that you weren’t lying lifeless in a ditch like she’d been threatened with hours ago by some goon who was less than her.

At the end of the night, after you’ve both eaten and settled for bed, she clings onto you tighter than she ever has. When she thinks you’ve fallen asleep, the tears that soak your shirt don’t go unnoticed by you. All you wished for was to turn around, wipe them from her face, and tell her it would be okay. But Sevika wouldn’t want that, at least– that’s what you thought. “I love you.” She says. It weighs you down, making you sink further and further into the pit you dug yourself into.

You wonder why it was only said when she thought you were sleeping.

can yall tell I like writing semi-soft Sevika ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

[childrenofcain-if]

So if I'm reading this correctly, C's dad was very abusive to them when they were little, right? I'm guessing it got physical as well. Will we ever get the chance to see the bruises and whatnot?

My heart hurts for what they've gone through and it's no wonder they're so closed off and angry all the time. I also hope we can beat up their father or somehow send him to jail. I'm not from the US but there must be some laws against child abuse, right?

C doesn’t have any overtly visible bruises on them anymore. they had the money and means to access the best of the best of cosmetic care to remove the scars and everything.

i will say that C sometimes walks with a slight limp because their right knee was broken by alain with a baseball bat when they were eight and it never healed quite right. it’s such a minor thing tho because even MC, who is pretty observant of their surroundings most of the time, will miss it until a bit later.

however, it’s not to say less of how aware MC can be about the people they care about. C just tries to actively hide their limp around you because to feel like you’re pitying them might as well be the thing that makes them chop off their entire leg (not literally tho 😭). eventually as they get more comfortable and open around you, you’ll start to notice it more and more and comment on it as well.

alain is a very rich and influential man. people like him are generally above law, and you bet he did everything he could to not get in trouble for the monstrous ways he raised C with. however, the tides are turning with you increasingly becoming an important part in C’s life and you can choose to confront alain with your fists, words, prison time, or all of the above.

[andiloveher]

"are you dead yet?" a calvin gabriel analysis

a/n: this movie is my current hyperfixition right now and this is just my personal take on the character, ben is a genius :) some of these quotes are out of order

thinking about the intro/beginning scene. that evil ass kid. cal gives such theater kid vibes omg.

i don't have much to say about the opening scenes, i think ben gives an amazing way of setting up the character dynamic between andre and cal. at first, it almost feels like he created an empty character out of cal, so it could be easy for someone to step into his shoes and relate to him (until later). cal is usually the one behind the camera, this isn't to say that he is less important than andre but i feel like this is where people start to create that 'soft and innocent' idea of cal. i can imagine him standing behind the camera with a stupid little grin on his face.

thinking about the firework scene; lets get the first thing straight, cal was not manipulated, gaslit or the 'soft and innocent' one here, and neither is andre. both are to blame for this. notice how excited cal is, or at least fakes it. even while watching the fireworks, he seems unamused compared to andre (who calls this out). i think cal has always been a very closed off person, he can be very ignorant and annoying as depicted at the poem scene and several scenes with andre.

thinking about cal's first solo video entry ; "everything is planned so methodically." i LOVE the way he used that word and why he used it. methodically means structured or in an orderly fashion. i think it's a perfect use of the word, the fact that at first they never had a date, they had a plan and knew exactly how they would execute it. "it's gonna be unreal. it's gonna be beautiful." cal looks off as he speaks, almost like he's spacing out while imagining it. cal knew exactly what was to come, and almost fantasized about it. the thought it was beautiful. he starts examining the camera etc, as if he wasn't just talking about a mass shooting, he treats this very lightly. as if, it's just another sadistic thought. "we are gonna leave you all behind, just sticks in the mud that andre and i have made. we are gonna walk away. you see, we see more than you do." cal is fully aware of what's to come, almost as if he's planned this for years ahead. it reminds me of the tate quote "I'm prepared for the noble war."

nearing the end of his 'monologe' he starts spacing out his words, taking longer to deliver what he's about to say as if he's trying to justify it or make someone understand why they are gonna do what they are about to do.

thinking about the party scene; cal silently makes his way out of the party to sit on the steps with andre. when he gets down to the step he basically slouches over, covering his face as if he's exhausted. "i'm just not good at parties."

he keeps his arms crossed over him but his legs out. his legs out are a sense of comfort with andre but i feel like him keeping his arms crossed is because he still feels very closed off or uncomfortable. he stays very quiet while andre talks with his cousin. apparently they have been friends since about sixth grade and cal has been with his family before, yet he still feels anxious and closed off to them.

thinking about the braces scene; ben did this in a lovely way and he's an actually genius. "his parents spent all that money for years on his teeth, just for him to blow them through his skull." - ben in the Zero Day Commantary

thinking about the grave scene; another one of my personal favorite scenes. cal is very defensive on andre during this scene as rachel basically describes him as a bad influence on cal. i feel as if cal is getting defensive because andre was able to understand him in a way no one else would, someone who understood his sadistic ideas and even help him go through with it. someone who saw the need for a 'beautiful' cleansing.

i also think he got defensive when rachel started to describe andre as like the ring leader of all of this, cal wanted his credit and i think this tied alot into the shooting scene later on.

"im insecure and i need attention." god someone get this boy a myspace page.

thinking about the camping scene; where cal jokes around with his family alot, i wonder how his younger siblings felt afterwards

thinking about the poem scene; i don't think the poem has much meaning - also basing it off what Ben said. just some edgy thing a teenager would say.

cal doesn't seem to take anything seriously. being obnoxious to the other people who were there, ignoring andre's points on trying to stay secretive. cal couldnt give less than a fuck.

im jumping far

thinking about the shooting scene;omfgomfgomfg. in the car it's like we see cal truly happy when he is about to ruin people's lives, his smile seems so genuine like he's ecstatic.

when him and andre get in the building, he seems so focused on his first shot, quick to make sure there are no more people.

don't even get me started on the library scene omg

the way cal walks ontop of the tables, showing a sign of authority over everyone else. a moment where he can finally feel larger than others, where he no longer has to worry about staying in his little bubble.

"are you dead yet?" is my favorite quote from the scene. it's filled with so much anger and almost irony. he's taunting them, he laughed at the idea of someone trying to talk him out of it. i think this was the most freeing moment for cal.

i also think he was ready to die, his last conversation to andre says so much. telling him "you're done." isn't of "i'm done" or "we're done." he was prepared to paint the ceiling with his brains - while andre was so hesitant. UGH I COULD TALK ABOUT THID MOVIE FOREVER

[jaal-ama-daravv]

You’ve done the deep dives, and considered a good number of elements in your study of Emmrich’s romance… so my question is… for a romanced Emmrich, of course…

At the point of making the decision, if Emmrich was making it autonomously, would he choose to remain mortal or become a Lichlord?

And why?

When I read this at 6:00am yesterday I sat like this for a good 20 minutes before passing out, contemplating -

And I think I have an answer for you.

Romanced Rook

With a romanced Rook, I think (and yes of course a developer, and RPG decision, but outside of that -) a romanced Rook x Emmrich and this decision is actually an important part of their dynamic. We think back to the graveyard scene, the one where you can discuss lichdom and commit to his romance. He specifically states that he will inform Rook before making any decision and gather their input, as Emmrich will consider a romanced Rook a 'close family member'.

I believe Emmrich is also looking for that validation. We know how 'fast' a romanced Emmrich and Rook can progress in their relationship because they are perceived outside of their relationship to be two fools in love. I think Emmrich is asking Rook as a form of, what do I do? What are you okay with? I think Emmrich may believe that Rook knows him better than he knows himself at that point in time. Rook mirrors his fears too. Emmrich has a fear of death, Rook a fear of failure.

All in all i think Emmrich seeks out Rook's advice because he loves them and I think that's important.

The Decision

This is quite a difficult decision, but if we look at the dialogue during each choice in that scene, I believe if Emmrich was making the decisons autonomously, he would choose mortality. I say this because when you choose lichdom as Emmrich's decision path, the reasoning for choosing it is "you are well equipped to deal with lichdom emmrich". I beg your finest pardon but in what universe is he well equipped. He did not in a mere FEW HOURS, get over the fear death. He could barely hold up the lantern untill Rook encouraged him and manfred showed him what courage is. I think pure love and courage that was shown to him would factor into his own decision. Additionally, if you choose the mortal decision of resurrecting manfred, he requires far less 'convinving' and Rook offers simple guidance, "oh ya know things maight be easier: compared to "youre well equipped do it".

All in all, I think he would, in his decision, choose mortality. Simply because Emmrich has his life now, his family, and he can see that. You can see that in the final boss fight with Hezenkoss. He chose to be courageous. Lichdom was his way to escape his fears, not transcend them in the name of love.

[fazfuri]

Heelloooo hiii! I really into your gf au, you know? Waiting for every post with an art/lore like for weekends haha <3

Soo that's why i have a little /nope/ but important (!) question - why did Deity get attached to Mr. Pines? Like what did D.Bil see in Stanford (cuz from BoB we more or less know it about org Bill) that made Bill let Ford get closer? Made trust the scientist more?

Cuz it's just. A bit sharp jump between the Halloween comic and sketches making me wonder how is their relationship are developing 👉👈

Haha you can never trust me when it comes to the sketches, because most likely they're either not in order, or some comfort to provide to people before I drop the fattest angst.

DB has an obligation to fulfill his divine duties and most of them are insufferable to deal with. Reason why he's attached to Dr. Pines is cuz everything they do together contrasts the work he does outside of their partnership. He doesn't want to admit it, but being with Ford gave him... relaxation, even if it's just for a moment of being with him.

However, Deity still doesn't fully trust Ford, he wants to, but something else is holding him back from trusting him.

[thewistlingbadger]

In the few episodes Isha was in, she was able to remind the audience and Jinx of the three most important people in Jinx's life. The fact that she parallels all three of these people at various points proves to me that Isha is the symbolic embodiment those Jinx has lost.

1. Silco. Just as Jinx loses Silco, Isha miraculously comes into her life. Suddenly, Jinx is thrust into the same exact position Silco was thrust into all those years ago. She's tasked with taking care of a small child and having to raise her. Jinx's relationship with Isha makes her reflect on her relationship with Silco. When presented with a difficult choice- do the right thing or stay safe- she goes to Silco's office alone to "consult" him. This can be seen as a parallel between the difficult choice Silco had to make: Zaun or Jinx. In the scene, she says that she probably owes it to Silco to make things right since she killed him, but "I've got something good going. A friend. Maybe that's what I was for you."

2. Vi. Although there are similarities between the relationship of Jinx and Silco and the relationship between Isha and Jinx, the relationship of Isha and Jinx is not a parent-child relationship, like the relationship between Jinx and Silco. Their relationship is more like that of siblings. We see that their relationship is more casual and fun and we see them do things that Jinx never got the opportunity to do with Vi, and things she actually did get to do with Vi. We see in Isha's memories they danced together and parkoured around the city, two things we know Jinx and Vi did as kids. Jinx protects Isha like Vi protected Jinx, but because Vi was missing for such a long time and because she was older and much different than her sister, there were some things they didn't get to do as kids that Jinx is doing now with Isha. When Jinx dies her hair, she says, "You know, I never got to do this stuff with my big sis. She was more into hitting things."

3. Powder. Isha is a small, helpless little girl with blue hair. She's obviously supposed to mirror Powder. We see that the more time Jinx spends with Isha, the less like "Jinx" she acts. She stops being so violent, she starts being more carefree and at peace, and she reconnects with her first family. Isha is quite LITERALLY healing Jinx's inner child. Jinx is even starting to answer to the name Powder, that's how effective Isha's presence is. The resemblance between Powder and Isha is so strong that Jinx tells Isha "I used to have a different name. Powder. It's stupid right? I thought I got rid of her but you remind me of her."

[kseniyagreen]

And no one in the world can see through you...

I think one of the most important and acute themes of the drama is the desire to be seen, to be real for someone. The desire is so greedy and desperate that many heroes are ready to die for it.

Because without this feeling of being seen and understood, they feel like they are in an endless dream. Not so real. And for the opportunity to become real, they are ready to pay with pain and life.

Ying Lei and Bai Jiu both died trying to do something meaningful for their special person. Striving to be the one who changes something - himself, alone. And maybe that's why they were so reckless.

Li Lun sacrificed his immortal existence to become a real man for one day - the man Zhao Yuanzhou will not forget.

The bird goddess understands that this Fei is not real - and understanding this, she kind of see the real Fei in her heart.

And therefore she feels it as if they are finally together.

This is a desperate, beautiful but painful desire to have someone who sees you and whom you see, someone who will illuminate the darkness of your loneliness, especially acute and painful for those who are used to feeling like an "anomaly".

The drama also raises the social aspect - about how anomalies are not accepted by society, are seen distortedly and falsely, and this experience of social invisibility makes the desire to find someone who will see and understand the real you even stronger - sometimes dangerous and even destructive.

All the characters are in some sense are dreamers in a dream and puppets in a play.

And in this play you can go beyond the given role, show a glimmer of your true self only at the moment when your role ends. And every hero here dies looking at the one for whom they wants to become real most of all.

This interestingly reflects the fact that under censorship, a lot can only be shown at the cost of the hero's death. Like queer couples in censored dramas, they usually die in the finale (at least one of them). Antiheroes who reject the laws of this world's also usually assert their right for sympathy with a selfless death.

But in reality, a person asserts themself and finds understanding not through death, but through life. It is not the final sacrifice, but the path traveled that matters.

And this is where I see the meaning of Zhao Yuanzhou's path.

He could have died in the middle of the story - and the villain would not have received his power, and the world might not have needed to be saved.

But then ZYZ would have died unrecognized and misunderstood, lonely.

But thanks to the path traveled, he finds someone who sees him, who understands him, who loves him and makes him real.

And for Zhuo Yichen, this is no less important - for someone who was afraid of his dreams and therefore lived as if in a dream, for someone who was afraid of that unconscious part of himself. And therefore, diligently fulfilling his social role, he did not get close to anyone.

But the more alive and real they become together, the tighter the web of fate becomes. As if resisting their desire to be together.

And yet I would like to think that this desire and their mutual reality turns out to be stronger than the tragic scenario.

Like at the moment when Zhuo Yichen was supposed to die together with the villain, but did not die because the Zhao Yuanzhou's spell "recognized" him.

This desire to stretch the thread of connection through all obstacles, barriers and through death itself is very tangible in the way they're holding hands.

And this courage not to let go even when it seems the universe itself is separating you plays a key role in the finale.

"I recognize only the principles of my heart," says Li Lun.

And I like to think that along with his power, he passed on to Zhuo Yichen a part of his rebellious spirit and gave Yichen the courage to resist fate.

Yichen too manages to save part of Yuanzhou's soul because he knows that soul truly. They manage to pull this theme of mutual recognition into a situation as far away from an act of love as possible.

This "I knew you would do this" "and I knew you would do this, and that's why I do something else" and "you're still so..." - as both recognition of "it's you" and surprise and recognition anew.

They are both tied with ropes to their roles, like puppets of a demon who fulfills wishes. But they see each other beyond these roles. And with his final act, Zhuo Yichen seems to connect their destinies beyond the boundary where their roles end.

Zhao Yuanzhou had to fulfill his role as a sacred sacrifice and leave. Zhuo Yichen had to fulfill his role as an instrument on which Yuanzhou would make his sacrifice. But Yichen, taking on an active role in a situation of impossible choice, goes beyond the role of an instrument - and thanks to this, he can do what does not fit into this role.

Save Zhao Yuanzhou's life and connect their fates beyond the fulfillment of the prophecy.

And now they're both free.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

miss raven sharing her bday w leona will never not be funny to me 😭😭😭😭 and due to recent developments (???), it's even more hilarious...

[Referencing this post!]

I REALLY PLAYED MYSELF, DIDN’T I🧍‍♂️

If you can believe it, there’s actually (both irl and in-universe) reasoning behind Miss Raven and Leona sharing a birthday. The first ever Miss Raven introduction/lore drop I made on this blog was posted on July 27th back in 2020, so I personally consider that date her birthday. At the time, we didn’t have birthday cards yet (the first was Jamil’s Birthday Boy in September 2020) so I was not paying attention to the date and whether or not it was a character’s birthday. I would only learn afterwards that July 27th is… Leona’s… birthday… OTL

But!! I looked on the bright side. I reasoned to myself that even if I didn’t like his character back then that this actually worked out for Miss Raven’s lore. There are 22 characters in the main cast, meaning most months of the year have 2 birthdays. The only exceptions are Sebek (March) and Leona (July). Since Twst JP launched in March 2020, the month had already passed (and it took me some time to develop my OC). Plus, March has another huge holiday: the founding of NRC (Twst launch day). That leaves only Leona with a month where there’s technically “one” relevant holiday and fit into the time frame.

cbjsvsjwjwown Anyway, the in-universe reason I came up with for why Miss Raven shares a birthday with Leona is because…! In the very beginning, she’s not confident and thinks of herself as just a side character in the story, there only to prop up and support the main characters (ie the NRC cast), which includes Leona. In coincidentally sharing the same birthday as him, she feels as though she’s less important and has to step down to allow Leona the spotlight. Later on, when she has a better grasp on her sense of self, Miss Raven is able to celebrate without remorse or guilt. It’s part of her character arc ^^

… You can’t see it, but I’m laughing and crying at the same time over this coincidence 💀 IT ALMOST FEELS LIKE (dare I say it) FATE…

[marsdql]

ʟᴀᴛᴇ ɴɪɢʜᴛ ᴄʀᴀᴄᴋs

ೃ࿔.𖥔 ݁ ˖*:･༄ soft!jay x reader | fluff, comfort ᯓᡣ𐭩 | wc: less than 2.0k?? Idk//drabble 𐙚 | synopsis: jay coming home to you sobbing on your desk because of all the stress caused by school/work and making you feel better.

It was past midnight, you’ve been studying since you came back from work and can’t seem to finish anything despite all the hours already wasted on your projets that were supposed to be finished days ago.

Usually you’d sort something out, organise everything and make a plan, but today as different, you were overwhelmed, all sorts of emotions coming to you at once. Your boyfriend Jay hadn’t come home from his job yet, leaving you with your own thoughts.

Being the sensitive person you are, you just let yourself be at this point, letting all the tears come out and drip onto the sheets on paper under you, like if nothing mattered anymore. You let yourself cry, trying to be quiet as If anyone could hear you.

Jay finally came home, his car keys jiggling in his hand before putting them down on the coffee table. You didn’t even notice the door open, too lost in your emotions. He walked slowly into your shared bedroom, assuming you were asleep, but to his surprise, you were there on the desk with your face buried in your hands as u try to stop your mouth from making any loud noises.

He paused for a moment, taking in what was happening—your hunched shoulders, your trembling hands and just the fact you aren’t in bed yet. He walked slowly towards you. “Hey.. what’s wrong? Sweetheart talk to me” he said, crouching a little to get your height, attempting in getting you to look at him.

Just as you heard his soft voice, all your tears came crashing down faster, your brain telling you that your boyfriend had a long day and now he comes home needs to deal with you. “I-im s’sorry j-jay.. I can’t” choking on your sobs, not being able to get a word out.

“Hey, talk to me, it’s okay im right here, what’s wrong? Comon baby come ‘ere ” He slowly grabs you closer to him, getting you to sit in between his legs as he sits on the edge of the bed. You can barely talk, your sobs suffocating you. “Jay… I can’t do anything… i’m. I’m I can’t I just can’t. None of my teammates helped me on this project now I have to do it alone and it’s due tomorrow. I don’t know what to do I can’t do anything right im so behind in everything..” you blurt out as you catch your breath, proceeding to cry even harder right after you finish your sentence.

You changed your position, your chin on his shoulder, not wanting him to see your red face and puffy eyes, but he doesn’t mind your shyness, not wanting you to feel even worse in this vulnerable moment. “Baby, you don’t deserve any of this. My sweet girl— you’re working so hard im so so proud of you, your teammates don’t deserve you. You’ll finish this project it’s okay, just calm down..”

“Jay….” You whined, hugging him a little closer. “Mmhm baby? You ‘wanna rest? It’ll make you feel better, who cares about a project, your health is more important right now.” he said before moving you up into the bed, tucking you in knowing that you were too tired to protest. He gently placed your head off his shoulders and onto the pillow, exposing you face, making him rub your tear stains off with his thumb.

Right before tucking you fully in, he noticed the water on your nightstand, quickly grabbing it and making you drink some before dozing off, whispering sweet nothings to you as he held the bottle with one hand and rubbing your back with the other. “Poor girl.. you’ve been too hard on yourself.” “Just a little bit more, good job—let’s get you sleep now, hm?”. As you finished drinking water, you quickly laid on him, signaling that you may need a little more affection tonight compared to the others.

He let out a soft chuckle, pulling you closer and adjusting the blanket over both of you. “Alright, I’ve got you,” he murmured, his voice low and soothing. His hand continued its gentle rhythm on your back, grounding you in his warmth.

“You’re safe now,” he whispered, his breath tickling your hair. “No need to carry so much on your shoulders—just let it go for tonight.”

You felt the steady rise and fall of his chest as he hummed softly, a melody you couldn’t quite place but felt comforting all the same. The weight of the day melted away as his presence wrapped around you, every whispered word and tender touch assuring you that you were exactly where you needed to be.

And as your breathing slowed, matching his, you felt your worries dissolve, replaced by the quiet comfort of knowing he would stay there with you until the morning light.

———————————————————————————

It’s nearly 2am I’m half alseep, I am so sorry for whatever mistakes I made here..

[strandnreyes]

TK could’ve been more understanding of Carlos

I’m going to assume you mean in regards to the case because him not wanting kids doesn’t seem to be a factor at the moment. And yeah, he could’ve been, but the thing is, TK has been amazing and patient and understanding for a year and a half and now we’ve seen one time where he’s been less than perfect in a high stress, panicked state about the life of his only brother.

One thing that I think has been brought up but is important to think about, is that we know Carlos will catch the killer, but TK doesn’t know that. This could be the rest of their lives, for all TK knows. Not only is that not feasible for their relationship, but it’s not healthy for Carlos. I think TK showing a feeling of ‘enough is enough’ isn’t the end of the world. He’s not saying don’t grieve, he has enough experience with his own grief to know that’s not possible, but Carlos cannot be consumed with this case forever. He just can’t, not for their relationship and not for Carlos. TK had watched his dad become consumed with grief and obsessed with trying to make it right. It ruined a lot of Owen’s relationships. It ruined his marriage. TK has witnessed that first hand, and I think he’s seeing a lot of reflections of that in Carlos and is scared of what will happen if it doesn’t stop. And now there’s a little boy in the equation that needs him. It’s all adds up to a situation where I think it’s understandable for TK’s attitude to not be, ‘you’re right. Jonah can go to Switzerland and you can keep having this case be your priority for the foreseeable future’.

[abbysimsfun]

Sims In Bloom: Generation 2 Pt. 92 (Conrad's First Love)

cw: Conrad getting pretty spicy 🌶️🌶️🌶️ and not with Heather; references to human and drug trafficking (not depicted).

Follows the events of this post.

As she passed him to put away her gloves, a stunning redhead at Pappy Murphy's Boxing Gym caught Conrad's eye. Though he'd been deep in another bout of anger and self-pity over the death of his mother years earlier, he stopped his workout. Every inch of his being compelled him to talk to her.

She turned with a smile before he could stammer a single word. "Hi, handsome. Did you want a better look?"

He nervously introduced himself and she told him her name. "Ximena." The word floated from her lips like a song. He was instantly smitten.

"Ximena, could I buy you a drink?"

They spent the day in a local pub. He told her everything about his mother's death and his distance from his father in the years since. She listened, but she had a lot less to say about herself. "I live here with my brother. I'm a student, and I'm the only caretaker he has. Our parents aren't around anymore, and it's been just Rafa and me for years."

He could hear an accent when she spoke, and most people in Britechester weren't locals, so he made an assumption. "How long since you moved from Selvadorada?"

Surprised by his guess, she turned defensive. "I don't talk about Selva."

He liked her too much to press and push her away, so they spent the rest of the day flirting and discussing their interests until Ximena invited him back to her place. "You make me laugh, Conrad Gordon. My brother's still at school and I want to get to know you better without all this noise. I hate the music they play in here."

Once Conrad followed her out of the bar and back to the small home she shared with her kid brother, Rafa, he started following her everywhere.

He lost his virginity to her a week after they met. That night, she told him why she left Selvadorada.

"I was going to die or they were going to kill me. I wouldn't let them sell me to anyone anymore, so I made a plan and left with my brother in the middle of the night to come here."

She showed him the scars left by the cartel, and a resolve to keep her safe coloured his already steadfast affection. He let her cut his hair when she said she wanted to show him how freeing it felt to change his look. "It's nice not to recognize the person in the mirror, sometimes," she said.

She told him she was a student, often meeting him at Larry's Lagoon to study but usually distracting him into other activities. One afternoon, she introduced him to an old friend, Jimmy Stefano. "Can you help him out around campus? You're in the same major."

Something about Jimmy Stefano rubbed Conrad the wrong way, but he assumed it was jealousy. Despite this, he would already do anything for Ximena and agreed to take Jimmy under his wing.

He called his father to say he planned to stay at school for Spring Break. "Sorry, I know I said I'd come home to see you."

Stephen Gordon laughed him off, but masked slight disappointment. He had no idea whether his son was flourishing or floundering at college, unsure how he'd been coping so far from home. "Don't worry, son. I'm just glad you sound happy. You're making me and your mother proud."

He skipped classes to spend time with Ximena, but made no mention of this to his father, of course. He spent time with Rafa when Ximena said she had late-night classes, taking him to the park to play pirate captain versus sea monster, and talking endlessly with him about video games.

Rafa wanted to become a pirate captain in Sulani or a game tester in San Myshuno. He had almost no memory of life in Selva before his sister left, but he knew it was "the bad place." He liked spending time with Conrad because he said his sister was too strict. "She just loves you," Conrad assured him. "Parents have to set rules, and she can't just be your sister. She has to care for you like a parent, too."

He realized then how important it was to be a model for Rafa, who needed guidance as much as anyone his age. Conrad had always had his father, but who did Rafa have besides Ximena?

Conrad discovered how she paid for an entire house for her and her brother by accident, stumbling on an argument between her and Jimmy Stefano near the campus fountain. "The deal was thirty pounds for three grand."

"They said if I didn't have five grand they'd only give me fifteen. They had guns, Ximena."

"They all have guns! Knives, too. Get your own and figure out how to use it. Watcher, please, don't screw this deal up for me, Jimmy."

"Who has guns?"

"The cartel," said Jimmy, so nonchalant, yet it still hit Conrad like a missile. His stomach turned as he read Ximena's expression. Every lie she'd told him unravelled with a look.

"Are you really a student here, Ximena?"

"No. They're my customers."

He'd had his suspicions, but he'd always told himself he was wrong. Ximena was supposed to be perfect. Hoping against hope, he still tried to play the fool. "What do you mean?"

She dragged him back home to tell him the truth - how she'd bargained with the cartel to escape a life of servitude to the men who ran product all over Simlandia. She refused to serve them, but her way out was to join them instead.

Conrad was angry, but he couldn't stay mad at her for long. As they lay in bed that night, she asked, "Are you going to break up with me because of what I do?"

"Not a chance. I love you."

"I love you, too." She smiled, resting her head on his chest as he ran a hand through her newly blonde hair. "You look nice without glasses, Conrad."

"You already gave me a haircut, Xime. You don't like glasses?"

"Conrad, you're very sexy. But you hide it and it's silly."

"If you're going to give me a makeover, what should I get you?"

"Are you asking me?"

"Ximena, I want to give you everything you could ever want."

She blushed. "I want you, Conrad. But since I already have you, maybe...jewelry? Like a ring."

"You don't wear any rings."

"Because none are special enough, Conrad."

He smiled. "Alright, that's one idea. But say I wanted to surprise you, what else did you want?"

"You could join me running product for the cartel. Our lives would be made, and we'd always be together."

"I don't want to run product for the cartel, Ximena. But I'm not going anywhere. I'll always be there for you. Rafa, too."

"Right, but what if I go? Rafa loves you, Conrad, almost as much as me. But what if the cartel moved me somewhere else? Would you come with me? Maybe you could be, like, my security. No running, just keeping me safe. Always with me and Rafa."

He'd do anything to protect her, but he didn't answer her that day, refocusing on his studies until he returned to San Myshuno at the end of the semester.

He'd missed his father more than he expected, and they went for walks in warm sunshine by the Spice Market. They talked about school, and Conrad talked about Ximena - leaving out details of her career and focusing instead on her relationship with her brother. Conrad rarely asked his father about work, but Stephen hinted he was inching closer to retirement. "Chester's daughter Nancy is ready to take over the company, but Chester's not quite ready to retire. I think she's plotting a coup, but you didn't hear that from me."

"What happens to you if she pushes out her own father?"

"Hopefully, a retirement package. Chester may not be ready, but I think I am."

On one of their walks, they passed a jewelry store, and Conrad made a beeline for the ring counter. A confident salesman smiled as the Gordon men walked inside. "Welcome. What are we shopping for today?"

"I'm just looking," Conrad said. "What rings do you have?"

The salesman beamed. "Are we thinking of an engagement?"

Stephen eyed his son carefully, but Conrad shook his head. "Not right now. Just like, for an accessory."

"I don't know, son. A ring says you're ready for forever."

Conrad took his father's words to heart, considering what forever with Ximena might look like. He wanted to be with her, but he wasn't ready for a ring. He left that day with a nice bracelet for her, instead.

"Even leaving with a bracelet as nice as that one...she must mean something. I'd love to meet her."

Conrad nodded. "She might be able to visit this summer, if she's not too busy with work," he said.

Stephen smiled and the Gordon men continued their walk, strengthening the bond nearly severed by grief before Conrad returned to Britechester for another semester. ->

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NOT FUN FACT: Conrad got crab lice from Ximena when they slept together for the first time, which is gross but also fitting I guess. And yet I didn't make it canon because it didn't quite fit the vibe. Plus, he wasn't supposed to find out that early on that Ximena was problematic.

WCIF Poses Used? Various from packs Old Souls Love Differently by @simmireen (when Ximena is blonde), Our First Time by @eclypt0sims (redhead), The Kiss by @simmerberlin (black hair) and Nights Like These by @sakurasims-world (also redhead).

WCIF Jewelry Store? Jewelry Store by Guinifere on the Sims 4 Gallery. Very elegant interior and comes with crafting tables, a vault, charging stations - very nice lot! Needs dressing up with completed jewelry on the counters and in displays to look really spectacular (and I of course went the lazy route), but I wouldn't if I was playing a retail career, and this is a great lot for someone who wants to be a jeweler!