#is it because their lead singer is conventionally attractive

[lilacjunimo]

I’m tired of society pretending Imagine Dragons don’t make good music like you’re absolutely lying to yourself because you know damn well they have absolute bangers like Bad Liar and Natural and Thunder and all time bops like I Bet My Life and Bones and Believer and timeless classics like It’s Time and My Fault and Walking the Wire like accept it they’re GOOD

[dustbunnylair]

Shubble/Shelby's Situation: People Defending The Abuser and Shaming The Victim (!TW: Mentions of abuse/abusive relationship!)

7 months ago, on February 21st, 2024, a Twitch streamer with around 468K followers spoke out about being abused by another Twitch streamer and artist, who is now her ex on a stream titled, “Talking About Something More Serious”. The Twitch streamer who spoke out goes by Shubble or Shelby, she described the at the time unnamed Twitch streamer as (mainly) British, popular, and also in the music industry, fans quickly connected the dots to the popular Twitch streamer and lead singer in the band, Lovejoy, Wilbur Soot. 

I won’t go into full detail about what Shubble said, as I would prefer for people to listen to her say it, rather than someone else. But, the main things were that Wilbur did not follow a safe word that they set in place, and would bite her to the point of her screaming out in pain. He was also slobbish and dirty in his living situation. Unfortunately, Shubble has not provided any proof of bruises, markings, etc. but that doesn’t mean she’s lying, not every abuse victim documents their injuries, and honestly in my opinion, maybe she’s uncomfortable with sharing those injuries, those injuries are really none of our business to see.

A few days later, Wilbur Soot, made a response, which if you would like to read it you can find it here, I’ll sum it up to what I had processed within the response:

First off, he says it’s a response rather than an apology. Second, he didn’t even mention Shubble’s name, he only referred to her as “ex-girlfriend” or “this person” he never said her name. I want that to be emphasized because that’s quite common in abusers, they literally will not say their victim’s name(s) as a form of dissociation or just not taking accountability.

Many people including famous people such as Ranboo, Tommyinnit, Sneegsnag, Lil Tay, Billzo, Aimsey, Dream even, to fully call out Wilbur, as they should. Let’s also emphasize how absolutely batshit insane it is that Lil Tay and Billzo said shit about him, Lil Tay does not know this man and Billzo is literally never active on social media, no hate to them though obviously, shoutout to them for calling him out. Dream responding to Wilbur is so diabolical, you know an apology/response sucked ass when DREAM of all people responds to you and REWRITES the response. 

I have found many people on social media, more specifically TikTok and Pinterest, borderline defending Wilbur Soot. From getting mad at Shubble for telling her viewers to stream her stream instead of Wilbur's newest song, which yeah is a bit immature coming from a 30 y/o woman, but remember this is literally her abuser and she’s probably just joking around and coping. Not to mention the person who “called out” Shubble for not being able to “move on” can’t move on from Shubble nor Wilbur themselves.

Hypocrite alert…Honestly, Wilbur defenders are either stuck in 2019-2021 or are just insanely parasocial. Wilbur does not know you, you do not know him, he is a content creator and singer. I *was* a Wilbur fan before “Your New Boyfriend” came out, and look, I’ve moved on from him, 5 years of my life went to waste but at least I’m not supporting an abuser. It’s so funny seeing Wilbur dick riders getting mad at people for calling him niblur soot or saying he has rabies and needs a muzzle. 

It’s always “always believe the victim” until the abuser is someone you like or is conventionally attractive. I’ve seen multiple people ask why Shubble hasn’t sued Wilbur but has sued a car company. It’s so obvious that these people do not know shit about abusive relationships. Almost like if you were to take it to court and sue him, it wouldn’t change anything for Shubble other than some money or some shit, it doesn’t change the fact that she has trauma from the abuse, and it certainly isn’t gonna make him take accountability. Plus abuse in women or literally any gender, is invalidated most of the time.

People say that Wilbur is getting therapy just from his word. But me and other people are clearly seeing he isn’t showing change whatsoever, in fact, he literally looks like he’s on drugs, like coke. I remember someone made a TikTok talking about how skinny Wilbur looks and saying he’s probably starving himself. He’s 6’5 and has always been fucking lanky, and starving yourself isn’t the only thing that makes you lose weight, it’s also drugs!

I’m honestly just so sick and tired of seeing people say “Shubble admitted to lying” and then when you ask for proof of that they don’t respond, because she’s never admitted to that. Even other creators, not just Shubble, have come out and said Wilbur’s abusive behavior, like Tommyinnit. I mean, James Marriott hasn’t spoken out about this, and he doesn’t have to, that’s not something that’s required from him, but in one of James Marriott’s videos from 3 years ago, he and Wilbur did like this drunk video and it was called “If We Laugh, The Video Ends…(ft. Wilbur Soot)”, but throughout the video Wilbur just sometimes gets violent, and it doesn’t seem like a bit because most of the time James reacts genuinely concerned.

And before anyone uses the “Oh but he was drunk” excuse, I don’t want to hear it, the more drunk you are, the more of the real you comes out, he was drunk as fuck and his real self was coming out. 

Yeah, honestly that’s all I have to say about this topic for right now. Don’t go harass Wilbur or any Wilbur supporters, just try to educate them or block them, both are valid. If I have more to add I’ll make a follow-up post. But yeah, always believe the victim, don’t defend abusers. Keep yourself safe.

[cruesuffix]

@anaalnathrakhs encouraged me to post this a while ago so i’ll deliver…

the crüe if they were a kpop band

(warning: LONG POST AHEAD!! you’re in for a long ass yap session…)

ok, some (most) of you probably aren’t that into kpop like i am (yes, i like both kpop and rock, weird combo, i know), so i’ll introduce you to just some basic facts before we begin…

1. kpop groups can comprise of 4 member groups to 13 member groups (and probably more than that tbh)

2. there are a couple of positions that are integral to comprising a kpop band…i’ll run over those real quick.

main vocalist: the person who sings most of the song (this can be more than one person) they’re also the most technically gifted and can hit real high notes.

lead vocalist: the second best singer, usually sings before the main vocalist does (like they’ll sing a line or verse before the main does) also sometimes sings the chorus.

sub vocalist: supports the main and lead vocalist and has little lines. not as good as the lead and main vocalist

the same can be applied to the rappers, they also have a main, lead and sub rapper line.

the dance line is more simplified. everyone in a kpop group dances, but for the best dancers there’s a

1. main: the best of the group, gets solo dances/parts

and

2. lead: the second best, usually dances in the front in performances.

(btw, there can be more than one main/lead dancer)

there are other positions that aren’t as important to the music aspect, they are:

visual: basically just the most attractive member of the band…yes this is a position.

face of the group: these are the members that are the most popular. you might know the band because of this person. this can also be the visual, and it does overlap at times. this can be the person who usually goes to a lot of variety shows, or the person who trends because of a meme or funny moment. it’s just the most well known member, and it does change a lot depending on all these factors.

maknae: maknae translates roughly to “youngest person.” (it actually translates to “younger sibling” but) the youngest person in a room is the maknae of said group of people. for some reason, maknaes are seen as being shy and cute (weird tbh) but the ones that aren’t become popular for being an “evil maknae.” (basically just opposite of the stereotype).

the center: the center is pretty much the person who’s always put in the middle of the group during promotions (photos, dances, etc.). this can be due to their beauty, or their dance talent, or popularity. this is also subject to change.

some other terms i think i’ll be using:

trainee: a person who trains to be able to debut in a group

aegyo: pretty much a cute act or gesture. if someone were to ask you to do aegyo they’d pretty much be telling you to be cute/do something cute

v live: like insta live but for kpop idols. can be a bit big budget when it comes to album showcases (promotion for upcoming albums)

golden maknae: the youngest member who’s talented in more than one thing (rapping, singing, dancing, etc.). (other members talented in more than one thing are called aces)

ending fairy: at the end of a performance at shows like music bank, the camera will cut to a member and they either stare at the camera and look hot or they do something rememberable, like a wink or aegyo. sometimes bands will make fun of the ending fairy and do a gag that will end up going viral.

sasaengs: stalker fans…like hardcore. i’m talking breaking into your hotel room type stalker fans. no not only that, giving you orange juice laced with glue type stalker fans (don’t ask you don’t want to know).

ok we got all that? good, let’s start this thing!

vince

ok i think it’s pretty obvious what he is

main vocalist: self explanatory

vocals would get praised for how high he can actually go

visual: reasonably he’s the most conventionally attractive (but if it were up to me i would have made the visual mick) plus his blonde hair stands out against everyone else’s dark hair so thats an advantage for him in this situation

lead dancer: he does alot of dancing on stage tbh so i think he’d be a lead dancer

he’s not the face of the group, although most ppl think he is (which he loves ofc)

would be on v live doing absolutely nothing. would probably do a mukbang to show he’s not entirely vain

would do a skin care routine live on air only to get told off by nikki

the member that gets tired the most. rehearsals are terrible when he’s already a bit sleepy

downright refuses to do aegyo. nothings going to make him do it. is a buzzkill on variety shows

was the trainee everyone thought would never debut because of how lazy he was

usually gets to do ending fairies and uses them as an opportunity to look hot.

fans regard him as the pretty one and the running gags are about how vain he is

representative colour is pink

tommy

sub vocalist: i’ve heard him sing and he ain’t that bad ngl, doesn’t sing much though because…

main rapper: sorry guys he’s a rapper in this one. haven’t heard him rap before but he gives rapper vibes at times so let me have this one. (personal note: if i had to imagine his rap style i’d probably compare him to j-hope of bts…you don’t have to know who that is dw)

main dancer: yep, this one has evidence. when tommy was younger he took dance lessons with his sister, so i’ll use that to justify this. tommy and vince would have dance solo performances at the big award shows (mama, mma, inkigayo year end awards) and it would totally go viral.

maknae: he’s also the youngest so he’d be the maknae…he’d also be the golden maknae because of the many positions he has.

i think he’d also be the center due to this (at least during certain promotion periods)

the funny one, he has a lot of “tommy being hilarious for seven minutes” type of youtube compilations made of him (some of them go viral)

great at aegyo but doesn’t do it a lot (it takes a lot of convincing)

has been the face of the group at least once (during top era)

literally does not care about his image, will go on v live in his blinged out speedo and almost get the band banned from the app

gets in dating scandal with heather locklear

his photo cards always look terrible (he makes stupid faces when taking the photo)

almost got kicked out of his company as a trainee because he threw a fire extinguisher out the 13th floor window when frustrated. added to his constantly updating bill

will do aegyo for an ending fairy to go viral (gets compilations made of it on yt)

fans think of his as the energizer of the band. constantly all over the place and making sure the band keeps the good vibes up

i think he’d also be the one helping the band learn new dances, and he’d be a bit strict about everyone being absolutely perfect

representative colour is blue

nikki

leader of the band

sub rapper: he can hold a rhyme that’s for sure. they don’t give him too many lines

sub vocalist: also not the best singer, but can sustain a note and that’s all that matters

face of the group: because he’s the leader, he mainly speaks for the band. ppl get used to seeing him on every variety show.

the only thing he’s great at is running away from sasaengs (too harsh sorry.)

got clowned a lot as a trainee because of how quote unquote untalented he was

hates aegyo, never does it seriously

says real crazy shit during variety shows, everyone loves it (goes viral for not having a filter)

has serious moments, but everyone thinks he’s a leader that lets his members get away with anything (not true) probably because he’s so laid back at times

in this scenario i feel like he would be the underrated member (because he never gets center position and he’s always in the back in performances) he’s the member that gets those #LETBLANKSING twitter campaigns (and they always trend)

everyone ships him with tommy (either that or they make those silly “stop shipping them that’s weird” comments) nikki would play it up for fan service (but he wouldn’t tell tommy)

constant yap sessions on v live

never gets to do ending fairies

everyone thinks he’s untalented but he’s the one that writes the songs and helps produce sometimes. he does try his best to give his fans the best performance so he’s always practicing, takes vocal lessons and is in the dance room 24/7

he’s the best at representing the band, and does most of the talking in interviews

representative colour is red

mick

lol don’t kill me y’all

lead vocalist: OK so i once read a comment somewhere that said mick could actually sing and he was lying about not being able to, so on that basis i’ll let him be the lead vocalist. sounds great harmonizing with vince. his voice is much softer, which actually works with vince’s louder higher tone

lead dancer: like i said i’m going off looks, this is 100% not canon to the crüe lore (so just pretend he doesn’t have as for my sake). he looks like he could actually dance, and in my headcanon he’d be just as good as tommy, although he wouldn’t get many solos only because tommy and vince usually take over that department. he is regularly in the front during performances though.

sub rapper: gets a little rap moment sometimes…everyone finds it cute cause he’s trying. (will go viral and everyone will eat up their lil meow meows one bar)

fake maknae, everyone thinks he’s the youngest (because he’s short and he’s got a cute round face…and because he seems like the shyest) is referred to as the “cute one who can dance real well” (everyone’s shocked to find out he’s the oldest)

the member known for having a 4D personality (being weird and alienlike) their fans find it cute though (becomes popular because of it)

literally the “cute one” like fans are making nicknames for him (lil meow meow, goth kitty, alien)

very mysterious and quiet, doesn’t talk much in interviews and doesn’t get invited to variety shows alone because of it

his extreme paleness makes fans joke about him never leaving his house (someone asked him if he never leaves his house once as a joke and he answered honestly)

his voice once cracked performing on a radio show once during their debut era and nobody’s let it go ever since

he’s literally the most like suga of bts (i’m sorry for bringing them up so often but they’re my favs and a lot of them remind me of the crüe boys tbh)

was extremely shy and quiet during his trainee years, to the point where the other trainees were scared of him. when he debuts in the crüe, the rest of the members are sure he’s going to be scary and mean but he turned out to just be shy and the rest of the band feels bad for judging him

DESPISES aegyo but will do it for the fans…and he’ll actually put effort into it

his ending fairies are always so funny cause he never takes them seriously (kinda like key from shinee)

literally never goes on v live by himself, he’s always getting roped into doing lives with one of the members. if he were to do a solo live, he’d literally say the most asinine things because he thinks it’s funny (either that or he’d start making up elaborate lies about himself to see if anyone believes it) (side note: that interview of mick in that house or whatever…that’s so v live broadcast coded. like maybe nikki is there with him in their dorms and their reminiscing about their pre debut era idk)

representative colour is purple

ok that’s all i have for now, i hope that was as entertaining for you as it was for me!!

(i also hope that made any bit of sense, i tried my best to explain but i get that there’s certain things that ppl won’t get, it’s totally fine…it’s a really weird headcanon tbh lol)

[a-strange-inkling]

So we know about Chrissy’s struggles with her looks, and Eddie is always drooling over her even years after into their marriage, but did Eddie ever struggle with something like that about him? And does Chrissy melt the same way about him like he does? (I’m thinking for instance in one of the Christmas stories you mentioned, that he looks at her and feels smitten like he’s back in high school)

Mmmmm I love Eddie getting shy and insecure and nervous once in a while, because he’s usually pretty comfortable in his own skin with a lot of confidence and charisma. I see his insecurities coming more from his poverty and his failings than anything physical. But with Chrissy, yeah, I think he can sometimes get self aware. While he knows he ain’t ugly, he doesn’t see himself as conventionally attractive either.

But Chrissy just adores this, all of him, inside and out. Her love and admiration is quieter than his, but it’s just as deep maybe even more so. It all actually helps her accept her own flaws and insecurities, because she finds every inch of him beautiful, even the things he doesn’t like as much about himself. It helps her to understand how he finds her so beautiful when she can’t see it for herself. I also interpret Chrissy as demisexual, she grows more physically attracted to a person the deeper her emotional bond and connection is to them, so he just becomes more and more drool worthy to her everyday 🤍

We’ll get to see a little of Eddie’s physical insecurities a bit, especially when Jimmy joins Corroded Coffin as lead singer. The guy is collectively the most gorgeous man any of them have ever seen, enough to make even Eddie feel threatened 😆 Jimmy ends up getting most of the fan attention because he’s singing and he’s hot and everyone thinks he’s the frontman and he most certainly is not. Plus he’s blonde and Chrissy’s type pre 1986 and maybe Eddie liked being the sexually appealing one in the band before.

[templeofshame]

i feel like there's so much more wlw pop than there used to be but you still have to go to folkier stuff to find anyone not conventionally attractive in a straight way except maybe king princess? like chappell roan is done the weird makeup but not all the time and maybe im blanking on someone obvious but king princess seems like the only one who's consistently not femme?

im not counting muna because the lead singer is conventionally femme and they're all pretty conventionally attractive if less femme than katie. is that her name. it's 1am im not looking it up

[chantylay]

Ireland has chosen Wild Youth to represent them at Eurovision with the song "We Are One."

I'm not gonna lie, I don't have much patience for these kind of mid-tempo, everybody put your hands up and clap really slow, songs. Honestly, unless you do something really out of the box with that template, they all sound the same. And "We Are One" definitely colored inside the inspiration anthem lines. The song is nice, sure. I like the vocals, and the melody is inoffensive. But nothing really happens. You get the sense that the guy singing really feels the song, but it just doesn't reach me personally.

Lyrically, I'm not sure the chorus matches the verses. The latter are on a theme of perseverance in spite of life being hard, then you hard cut into the chorus about how everyone is different but we are all united. They don't seem related to me. It's like 4 white, conventionally attractive, young men in a boy band decided to write an anthem for the freaks out there, and ran out of material as soon as they had the chorus down because that is very much not their experience. Additionally, some of the individual lyrics are a little bit off. "We might be different. We might be unique," is a bit of a reduntant pair. Why is the sun falling instead of setting? That opening lyric about being born is a bit cringe. Like, I won't usually come after non-native English speakers for some clunky lines, but these very much are native speakers and it's the whole song. If you don't have that much to say, you can just let your frontman have a piano solo (the band switched up lead vocals for this song). I'm just not sure lyrics were these guys' strong suit, and if I'm not busy with the musicallity, I'm gonna end up scrutinizing the words.

There isn't a lot a band can do in the Late Late Show studio. There just isn't room. So we didn't get a ton of insight on that front. Looks like they are leaning into oranges for the background, which isn't super common and might make them stand out visually. I liked the sequined jumpsuit, but would like to see the rest of the band a little more glammed up in Liverpool to match. I don't know if they plan to bring the backing singers, but if they do, I want to see looks (and maybe some slightly tighter choreography). One thing that I think can hold bands back is when they are too committed to their usual stage positions and they forget the instrumentals aren't live and they can do whatever they want. So my little idea that I think might be fun, is that towards the end of the song, the various band members leave their instruments behind to join the singer, then walk out onto the bridge between the A and B stage as One. I think it would be a cute, thematically appropriate moment - and a prime group hug opportunity while the crowd is cheering. Seems like the sort of thing you could do with a song like this that isn't just the same thing every band does.

[the-case-book-of-fanfiction]

Your Favorite's Here {pt. 2}

Ship: Eddie x fem!Henderson!reader

Summary: Dustin realizes he has made a grave mistake in not telling Eddie about his older sister. Meanwhile, Eddie becomes painfully smitten with a girl he's met once.

Word Count: 1801 (oops, shorter than intended)

Warnings: sibling content, mutual pining, fluff

Notes: For clarity, this takes place in an AU Stranger Things timeline after S4, where Eddie survives and graduates and we are ignoring the finale.

{part 1} // {part 2} // {part 3} // {part 4} // {part 5}*

*coming soon!

☟ Continue below the fold ☟

This was, perhaps, the longest shift of your life. Ever since Eddie and his bandmates had left, you had been looking at the clock, watching the hands move impossibly slowly. It wasn't that you were desperate to be out of work, not like normal. It was because you knew the instant you got home, you were going to corner Dustin.

How could he have not told you that he actually knew the band with the ridiculously attractive lead singer he insisted you go see all the time?

You met a lot of people working at a restaurant. Hell, you had met a lot of guys at Everett's—conventionally attractive, reasonably behaved men who were more than happy to flirt with you and make eyes at you over their drinks. There were even one or two you'd considered cute enough to go out with, not that you ever actually would. But holy shit. You have never seen a man as attractive as Eddie Munson.

Sitting there in his leather jacket and an Iron Maiden shirt, he'd looked terribly out of place in the dim, romantic lighting and steel grey interior of Everett's. You'd caught sight of him the instant he walked in because his bandmates were ridiculously loud in the normally quiet restaurant, and you'd known immediately he felt uncomfortable. His cheeks had been a few shades too dark and he wore an awkward smile that screamed how much he knew he was detested by the restaurant's regular patrons. He was seemingly trying to hide his face behind his hair.

At first you'd expected the night to be...eventful after they walked in. Surely they would be rowdy, just to piss off the regulars, and they'd probably refuse to pay Everett's high prices. But any time they got too loud, Eddie was whispering at them to shut up.

You hadn't recognized them at first. They had gotten rid of the heavy makeup that obscured them when they were playing, and their clothes were a little more muted than when they were up on stage and in the floodlights. It wasn't until they mentioned it had been a big night for their band that it had clicked for you.

"Y/N! Y/N!"

You stopped fixing your uniform in the bathroom mirror. "Yeah, Dustin, I hear you, stop shouting!"

Dustin burst in through the door. "Y/N, we have to go, Corroded—" He caught sight of your uniform. "You're working tonight?"

"Yeah, it's a Friday. Why?"

Dustin pulled a face. "Because Corroded Coffin finally sold out an auditorium and we absolutely have to go see them, this could be the start of their whole career! And they've got new music they're playing tonight!"

And oh, that was tempting. As much as you pretended to be just a regular fan for Dustin, you loved the band with all your heart—almost as much as you loved Queen. Corroded Coffin made wonderful, beautifully written music.

But you had college debts to worry about. You had your rent to worry about. You had general living to worry about.

You sighed. "Maybe next time, Dustin. I've got to go to work."

He looked heartbroken. "Can you call out?"

You shook your head. "I can't this time. Maybe next time, but I've got to pay off some of my loan next week. I can't afford to fall out of the grace period." You twisted your ring uncomfortably. "Hey, invite Steve to go with you this time!"

"He doesn't like metal or rock music," Dustin complained.

"Maybe you can convince him he's wrong. Which he is." Dustin giggled. You ruffled his hair. "Next time. And I promise to take you to buy their album when it comes out."

Well, maybe you had missed seeing them play today. But they were sitting at a booth in your restaurant, and it was one of your tables.

"Deep breath, girl," you told yourself as you mixed the band's drinks. "It's fine, it's totally fine, you are just...meeting some of your idols. Who are your age. And are really cute. And the really, really pretty one is very shy and keeps looking at you and—"

"You talking to yourself over there, Henderson?" asked your favorite coworker.

You blushed. "Er, yeah, sorry. Just...thinking."

She raised her eyebrows. "They givin' you trouble, honey?"

"No, no, not at all. I just know them from outside of work." You were about to say they were your favorite band, but decided against it. You were already a bit of an oddball at work with all your rings and the fact that you talked to yourself. No need to make yourself even more conspicuous.

You finished with their drinks and brought them over, trying not to shake as you set them down and took their appetizer orders. You gazed at the lead singer—the beautiful Eddie Munson—the whole time, finding an intensity in his stare that matched the burning in your chest.

Shit. Dustin Henderson, you are in so much trouble for not setting me up with this man.

~❊~

By the time you got home, Dustin should have been asleep. But he was not. His bedroom light was still on, visible through his curtains.

You waited a few minutes to get changed out of your uniform and take off your jewelry. You washed your face and went through your usual nighttime routine, then poked your head down the hallway leading to Dustin's bedroom.

His light was still on, seeping out underneath his door in a golden puddle.

Well, that was that.

You pressed your ear to the door and heard Suzie's familiar voice. You knocked on the door. "Dustin, you got a moment?"

Dustin made a garbled sound. "Um...five minutes!"

You leaned against the wall in silence, hearing him trying to wrap up his conversation with Suzie. Even though it took longer than five minutes, you didn't rush him. They were adorable.

Dustin opened the door. "How was work?"

"Y'know, pretty good actually."

He raised his brows judgmentally. "Even though you had to miss a Corroded Coffin concert?"

You cleared your throat. "Yeah...about that. When were you going to tell me you know Eddie freaking Munson of Corroded Coffin personally?"

Dustin gulped. "Uh...what?"

You pushed him toward his chair and flopped onto his bed. "They visited Everett's, Dustin! They came to Everett's! They came to Everett's."

Dustin's eyes popped out of his head. "Corroded Coffin went to Everett's? Why would they go to a rich person's restaurant, they're dirt poor!"

"Dustin!" you chided, throwing his pillow at him. "Be nicer to your friends." Dustin blushed. "C'mon, Dustin, you could've told me that we were going to see your friends play. I still would have gone."

"You would?"

"Of course I would have gone! Eddie's totally my type, and if you like his music, hell yeah we're going to see him and his friends play!" Dustin shouted his victory. You shushed him. "Shh, shh, shh! Mom's asleep!"

"I knew you totally had a crush on Eddie!" he whisper-hissed. "I knew it!"

You rolled your eyes. "You are totally giving me a formal introduction."

Dustin groaned. "No. No. No. Absolutely not."

"Why not?"

"Because you two will get along like a house on fire, and then I have to deal with it!"

"Dustin! Getting along with Eddie is the entire reason why you should introduce me. He'd be like...your older brother!"

"Ew! Ew, ew, ew, stop that!" Dustin shoved you out of his room, his cries of disgust punctuated by his and your laughter. He shut the door on your face. "Not another word about Eddie!"

You grinned to yourself, heading to your room. You'd given him your shifts. You could only hope he was as into you as you were into him.

And judging by the fact he walked into a table just to hold your gaze... Maybe it was like something out of a novel, but that had to mean something, right?

~❊~

Dustin had about five seconds of peace on Saturday, when the group met for another Hellfire session outside of school at Eddie's trailer. Now that Eddie, Jeffe, and Gareth had graduated, the DnD sessions had moved to the weekends to keep the campaign going. And then Eddie was skidding to a stop in front of him, holding his palms up and keeping Dustin stopped in front of him.

"Why didn't you ever tell me your sister is a fucking fan of my music?!"

Dustin groaned. "Oh, not both of you!"

Eddie perked up immediately. "She asked about me?"

He sighed. "She's pissed at me for not telling her about you."

"And I'm pissed at you for not telling me about her!" Eddie said with a snort.

Dustin huffed, sitting down in his chair at the table.

"She's perfect," Eddie said, flopping into his seat with a dreamy look in his eye. "She's...she's gorgeous, Dustin, absolutely gorgeous!"

"C'mon, man, that's my sister!"

Gareth snorted. "Yeah—that's his sister. Like you kept saying Friday night when we tried to get you to ask her out!"

"Guys!" Dustin complained.

Jeff rolled his eyes. "You should have seen him. He was tongue-tied."

"All red and blushy," Gareth teased.

Eddie rolled his eyes. "Oh, shut up."

"You'd think he'd never talked to a girl before—" Gareth stopped, a teasing smirk growing on his face. "—when we all know he and Chrissy—"

Eddie hid his face in his hands, groaning.

Gareth laughed hysterically. "See! See, there's the Eddie we all saw on Friday."

Dustin pulled a face. "He was like that, and my sister still thinks he's hot?"

Eddie's head snapped up. "She thinks I'm hot?"

Dustin sighed. "I shouldn't have said anything. I should not have said anything."

Eddie folded his arms across his chest and leaned back in his chair. "She thinks I'm hot," he repeated, his voice dreamy and far away.

Gareth nudged Dustin. "You're screwed, man. He's already head over heels."

"She gave me her shift schedule," Eddie murmured softly, playing with his hair.

"She did what now?!" Gareth was nearly shrieking. "And you didn't tell me?"

"You were drunk and pestering me, no, I didn't tell you!" Eddie complained.

Dustin sighed. "Are you going to go visit her?"

Eddie took note of the tone of his voice: dejected, almost disappointed. He pulled himself back to reality, his smile falling. "Look, man, if you don't want me to, I won't. But I really, really want to."

Dustin bit his lip. "It's not that I don't want to, it's..." He sighed. "If anything goes wrong, I have to live with both of you. So don't be awkward if it goes wrong."

"Who says it's going to go wrong?" said Gareth, watching Eddie lean back once again, putting his arms behind his head. "She's got Eddie wrapped around her finger."

"That's what scares me."

☞ ❊ ☜

Stranger Things // Eddie Munson // Part 2 of 'Your Favorite's Here'

[rozzwil]

I don't usually have specific people's faces in mind when drawing OCs but every once and while I stumble on actors that are dead on how I imagine them to look.

Anyway if you're curious Ivan would be played by the guy that plays Liam Mcpoyle from Its Always Sunny

also child Ivan would have to be this kid from Antlers

Isha as a child is Chad from Malcolm in the Middle/famous gay Shameless actor but not as an adult because I refuse to make him that conventionally attractive. When he's older he'd look a lot like the lead singer of Eve 6, especially when he was less stacked like in the Inside Out music vid era

Thank you all for allowing me to share my truth, it's been a long journey but we made it

[adhoption]

teen movies are like hi I am a teenage girl raised by my dad to be a tomboy (I love my dad and not my mom, although one of them is probably dead, this is nothing to do with the male producer’s current divorce and custody battle) and I love cool indie alternative anti-mainstream things like popular music from 20 years ago and playing sports, which puts me at odds with the fake mainstream girls who have the incompatible interest of *checks notes* current pop music and cheering on sports, anyway because I am such a unique indie girl with niche interests who doesn’t fit in with these mainstream girls I have a crush on the most popular mainstream guy in the school who also likes playing sports and rock music and stuff but it’s allowed because he’s a guy, he is the football captain and the prom king and the union president and the lead singer and guitarist of his band because he has excellent organisational skills and is great at managing his time, the greatest turn-on of them all, but wait despite this shallow exterior I actually love him because he has a hidden depth (which he somehow also finds time for) and he needs me to confide in, it’s a coincidence that he’s also handsome and tall and ripped because as I mentioned I’m not shallow, but of course he always is, I’m also conventionally attractive and skinny even though I distance myself from the fake mainstream girls because they are vain and wear make-up whereas my beauty is naturally and therein lies my moral virtue over them, similarly they are obsessed with dieting and maintaining their figures whereas I eat junk food and chocolate but stay skinny naturally anyway which somehow makes me better than them, the guy is dating his mirror image head cheer leader prom queen girl but I will flirt with him and steal him from her and then cast her as the villain for hating me and trying to stop that, he will leave her for me and I will still see him as this moral beacon whilst he trash talks her to me about how fake she was and how it’s different being with a real girl he can actually have a conversation and shared interests with, which demands the question of why he was dating her for so long, was he just fucking her because she was hot even though he clearly didn’t respect or like her as a person, in which case is that not another massive red flag, and again it’s a coincidence that I’m also hot because he’s thrown that shallowness aside and likes me for who I am inside, but of course I’m always hot anyway, but yeah let’s listen to him praise how cool I am for being able to eat a hamburger without worrying about calories because I have a naturally great metabolism and am therefore more ‘real’ than his ex who had to suffer to meet his standards of beauty

[shoeshineyboy]

i am so curious abt your drama teacher.... do u know where the post is where you talked abt it?

it was from... a while ago, and tumblr being tumblr isn’t letting me find it. so here’s the thing with context of how it all fall apart.

like. you gotta bear in mind I heard bits of this story from about 3 different people across 7 different pubs, but I’m pretty sure this is what happened. the guy seemed alright when I was in Year 7, he was better than the other drama teacher, anyway. very very clearly wanted to work in like. actual theatre instead of the shitty comp’s drama department but I guess he took what he could get

so there’s this one family in the local area. very very rich, three daughters, all confident, conventionally attractive blonde girls who sing. this’ll become relevant later. all our school plays were musicals. so in my first year, they did Midsummer Night’s Dream with 60s music, which shouldn’t have worked as well as it did, but it banged. and blonde sister number one got her first singing role and I guess the school saw £££££ signs so she was in every single concert, play, whatever. she was a bit of a snob but not the worst

anyway the year after saw this dude, for some fucking reason, decide to do Hairspray. you know, the musical about racism, starring a fat character. the fact that the two black kids (in the school of about 800 students) were like “this is racist” and didn’t want to be part of it wasn’t a hint to him is wild to me. he represented the black characters with black wigs and dark-coloured clothes, and the white kids with blonde wigs and pastel clothes. the girl he cast as Tracy was thin and wore a fat suit and I wish I was joking. he’d gotten way more picky with who he cast as singers and upset a Lot of kids who got shafted, but blonde sister number two made her singing debut alongside her sister

the year after, they did Romeo and Juliet with hip-hop music because this guy just doesn’t know when to quit. I’ve blocked most of Year 9 from my memory tho so I don’t remember this.

Year 10, my 4th year, is where it got. interesting. as you’d expect, the upper school, the older kids, get the lead parts - particularly the drama GCSE students, for the obvious reasons. so when my year finally started GCSE, my friend Paige, who was shafted from Hairspray, and didn’t want anything to do with Romeo and Juliet, was so excited to finally get a lead part...

...bro put on Bugsy Malone and cast Year 7s and 8s (and the short kid in our year) as the main characters. Tallulah was played by a Year 9. she’s now 8 months pregnant and married a dude she met in an underpass in Bristol in a handfasting ceremony at Avebury Summer Solstice

but, anyway. this lot were fuming. blonde sister number 3 got her singing debut and blonde sister number 2 got a side part with a huge singing role

the drama teacher realised he’d pissed off our entire year and started writing a play. you could tell the dude was more and more on edge, since all of the year above mine bombed their drama GCSE. no one got higher than a low B. I don’t know who told him he could write plays, but he decided he could and wrote one called. I think it was “Go Go Go” or something? about a ginger family. and... he’d picked all the roles beforehand, he wrote them specifically for certain students. blonde sister number 2, of course, got the lead role. there was just. one thing he hadn’t counted on

blonde sister number 2 was a colossal bitch and was hated by everyone outside her own friendship group

the other students straight-up refused to participate in the play. he had to hurriedly re-cast based on whoever didn’t fucking hate her guts at this point. but while all that was going on, one of the dudes in the year above me got rejected from drama school because of his bombed GCSE, and he’s pissed. the drama teacher’s daughter went to a nearby private school (because she was too good for our school), but because this town’s just Like This, everyone knew each other. this dude sleeps with her, to get revenge on him. the drama teacher is livid. he comes back to school after the summer and my entire year got crap grades, not just the drama students. the school went into special measures and they had to tighten up how they operated

anyway the school had lost a lot of money from the play that no one went to see, the drama teacher called another teacher a cunt in front of students and that was the end of it. I saw him in the pub 5 years ago and he thought my name was Rachel and started telling me about how shit my ex was in class

[jkl-fff]

Scooby-Doo “Gritty” Reboot Idea (part 1)

“Gritty” because it’d acknowledge some dark realities  (like physical and emotional abuse especially of children,  drugs and drug addiction, sex work, violence and death)  and would deal with some darker lore. But all while still having goofy  and slapstick overtones (a la Season 2 of “Gravity Falls”).

THE CHARACTERS:

Daphne African-American redhead, freckled, tall, slender, conventionally gorgeous.

She’s the only child from a wealthy family … but one that is, unfortunately,  very christian-conservative and obsessed with their reputation  as respectable; she’s always been pressured to conform to traditionally “feminine” and “christian” standards of behavior and appearance. As a result, she has flawless fashion sense and makeup skills,  is an excellent dancer, singer, and pianist,  and can navigate high society with ease …   But also as a consequence, her “unfeminine” or “unchristian” inclinations  (being assertive, liking combat sports, a fascination with the macabre,  and not being 100% straight in both her sexuality and her identity) have been disparaged and discouraged, making her reticent about  her true feelings and interests—she closes herself off from others  and doesn’t share those parts of herself easily.

Her initial associations to the others were limited,  since their families didn’t walk in the same social circles at all. However,  she and Velma have some AP classes together, and often talk about paranormal and occult things.

Velma Latina-American, near-sighted, wavy haired, petite, chubby,  cute as a particularly cute button.

Her parents are both lower income, always working to provide for her  and her 5 siblings (she’s #3), so she’s grown up with a homelife  that’s very loud, cramped, and … well, not *negligent* per se, because  her parents do the best they can with the time they aren’t working …  but let’s just say it’s a homelife without a lot of parental presence  (they never have a lot of free time, plus she’s the middle child).  Teachers became a kind of surrogate parent figure for her,  which reinforces a pre-existing tendency to retreat into a world of books  and school activities in order to have some personal space.  On the plus side, this means she’s extremely intelligent and independent,  and already a fantastic researcher. However, on the negative side,  she’s an extreme perfectionist and somewhat desperate for approval  from others, especially from authority figures (which leads to anxiety).  Being shy, she doesn’t have the best social skills, and thus doesn’t have  a lot of friends … thus hasn’t realized yet she’s bi/pan, and also demi.

Besides knowing Daphne from AP classes, she knows Fred because  their dads work together and would drag the family to work-family functions. They both showed up to one with a book about supernatural stuff to read  off in a quiet corner somewhere, and hit it off; they hang out every time  they go to one of those functions, but aren’t in any of the same classes.

Fred European-American, blond and sorta-plain-sorta-cute, strong and burly,  not particularly tall or thin.

Fred is the only son of a low-income widower, so he’s had to assist  his father’s mechanical work from a young age. As a result, he’s now  a pretty good mechanic in his own right.  They’re close, but his father’s very much a “my way or highway” person; plus, since his father has some close-minded ideas about gender,  Fred’s been pressured into stereotypical “masculinity” from a young age (camping, hunting, sports like football/baseball then wrestling and boxing  when it was clear his physique was better suited to those,  never showing “weak” feelings, etc.) with “girly” stuff that interested Fred (like fashion and acting, magic, the supernatural … and bi/pan attraction)  being belittled to the point that he’s developed some self-loathing  for even wanting to engage with them. He keeps doing so in secret,  of course, he just also feels ashamed of it.

Besides knowing Velma, he’s lived on the same street as Shaggy  and been in some of the same classes since they were 12 or so.  They aren’t exactly friends, but they do more-or-less know each other.

Shaggy Asian-American, a lanky beanpole with a runner’s physique,  handsome in an angular/bony way people either really like or don’t.

Because his parents died when he was 12, he’s being raised by his aunt  and her “roommate” (lesbians in a smallish town gotta keep it on the DL).  Both are extremely loving and supportive, which is good because  the incident that killed his parents left him with some major issues:  PTSD, panic attacks, depression and the like.  They bought him a therapy dog, which has helped a lot in treating  the more acute symptoms. They’ve taught him to try to talk about it,  but sometimes the overwhelming pain of it makes him go mute;  when he tries to express it artistically like they encourage him to do,  the stuff he produces sometimes scares the heck out of him (he hates it, thus he hates the paranormal).  His preferred coping methods are cooking then eating, or running;  both have developed, actually, with him becoming an amazing cook …  and being first in regional competitions for cross country and hurdles.  While he’s not public about being attracted to boys as well as girls  (because, again, smallish town), he has told his aunts,  who are extremely loving and supportive about that, too (because they rock).

He sorta knows Fred because they’ve been neighbors  and gone to the same school for years.  His best friend is Scooby, his therapy dog.

Scooby A loveable but clumsy lummox of a Great Dane mix.

Shaggy’s therapy dog, he has an uncanny sense for when  his boy needs him; on occasion, he has jumped the house’s fence  and loped to the nearby school when his boy had a sudden panic attack. However, the aunts joke that the mixed part of his breed is with  a Scaredy Cat, because he startles almost as easily as his boy does,  is wary around strangers … and doesn’t seem to realize how huge he is (he will frequently try to climb into people’s laps, like a cat).

He is utterly devoted to Shaggy (and vice versa),  but is otherwise just an ordinary dog … Or is he?

Their Roles in Mystery Inc.

Daphne: the Financier (pays for hotels and food) and later the Fighter (gets good at kicking ass), good at schmoozing witnesses, sometimes feels insecure  like she only really contributes money

Velma: the Brains (researches, documents cases) and later the Bruja (experiments with magic and develops some skill), mostly an optimistic ray of sunshine, sometimes feels insecure  like she’s always helpless

Fred: the Mechanic (owns the van and takes care of it) and the Muscle (stronk boi), good at pep talks, sometimes feels insecure  like he only really contributes is their vehicle

Shaggy (with Scooby): the Medium (interact deeply with the spirit world,  albeit unwillingly) and the Muse (the heart of the group—everyone luvs and proteccs), good at cooking and comedy, usually feels insecure all the time like he’s just useless in general and a coward

[bluerosesburnblue]

So for anyone who saw my big post of bios for my MC and Jacob I mentioned that the two of them were 3/16 Siren and alluded to making a post explaining the details of that

Well this is that post. Contains headcanons for both merpeople and part-merperson individuals in the HP universe

Merpeople

So to start this off I guess I should talk about some headcanons I have for how merpeople work in the HP-verse since they don’t get a heck of a lot of development in either the books or outside content

First off, let’s cover the canon stuff. We know that there are (at least) three types of merpeople: Merrows, Selkies, and Sirens. The “original” merpeople were the Sirens from Greece. Merpeople from colder regions tend to be less physically attractive and more monstrous than merpeople from warmer regions. So Merrows (from Ireland) and Selkies (Scotland) are semi-monstrous fish-people, but Sirens (Greece) are essentially beautiful humans with fish tails.

Regardless, all merpeople are said to love music and are known to be able to breathe outside of the water, at least for a short time

Both merpeople and centaurs are classified as “Beasts” despite technically having all of the requirements to be classified as “Beings.” This is noted to be a conscious decision, as neither group wanted to be associated with dark creatures such as vampires and hags, even though they are Beings for all intents and purposes

An early attempt at classifying Beasts and Beings had the definition of Being be “a species that can speak the human tongue.” Merpeople were excluded as Mermish cannot be understood above water, and the centaurs abstained in solidarity with the merpeople

There is a Chocolate Frog card that features Mirabella Plunkett, a witch from the 1840s-50s who fell in love with a merman from Loch Lomond (so he was probably a Selkie). When her family disapproved of their potential marriage, she transfigured herself into a haddock and disappeared

As far as can be confirmed, almost every species that is classified as a Being can have children with humans. Giants (half-giants Hagrid and Madame Maxime), Goblins (Professor Flitwick, who is part-Goblin), Vampires (singer Lorcan d’Eath, noted Vampire ancestry), and Veelas (Fleur and Gabrielle Delacour, ¼ Veela) are all perfectly capable of having children with humans (as are Werewolves, but only in human form so I don’t count them. Heck, I question why they’re listed as a different species when they’re just magically afflicted humans. Whatever.) The only known creatures that are classified as Beings that do not have known part-human offspring are Hags and House Elves, though it’s stated in outside sources that some of Flitwick’s students thought that he might be part-Elf, which implies that part-Elves are at least possible. Therefore, it is also likely that part-Hags are possible, especially since some have been known to enter into relationships with humans (Malodora Grymm, for instance)

So, as for headcanons I’ve drawn from this, we have a few:

The different types of merpeople aren’t so much different species as they are different races of the same type of being (I imagine the same would also apply to the different types of elves and goblins)

Mixed-race merpeople could then, presumably, exist. My headcanon is that the child will have more traits of whichever race the mother was than the father, and so would be classified as whichever race the mother was, from a taxonomical perspective

So a Siren mother and a Merrow father would produce a Siren child with some Merrow-like traits, like spine-fins and silvery-green scales. A Selkie mother and Siren father would produce a Selkie with more conventionally attractive features to humans and a more alluring voice, etc.

Eventually some traits can be bred out enough that the child of a mixed-race merperson and a pureblood merperson can be classified as the father’s race, but that takes many generations to do

A personal headcanon that I have is that male Sirens are, like, absurdly rare. We never see them depicted or talked about, so I can only assume that they’re either rare or human-shy (or both). Or nonexistent, but that wouldn’t make much sense since male Merpeople clearly exist. Why would they not for just this one race?

That being said, some female Sirens are known to sometimes travel long distances to Northern merperson colonies in search of male mates due to the constant fighting for the affection their own few males. So despite Merrows and Selkies being the dominant races of merpeople in the colder waters, there is the occasional Siren female and other mixed-race Sirens hanging around in colder climates

Female Sirens hanging around up north don’t generally do too well. They are adapted to warm water, after all, and the cold makes them a fair bit sicker, sleepier, and more sluggish than they would be otherwise (because real fish are very temperature sensitive and I don’t see why merpeople would not also be so). Their mixed-race children tend to do much better, as they almost always take their father’s cold-water adapted dispositions. It’s rare for all of this to happen, though. It’s only a handful of Sirens every generation that decide to try their luck up north, since it’s not recommended for their health

For all intents and purposes merpeople and centaurs are Beings. They qualified for the position, and their classification as Beasts was more political than scientific. They’re more Being than Beast in terms of their biology and social structures, so rules that apply to Beings should therefore also apply to both centaurs and merpeople

That, combined with the story of Mirabella Plunkett, leads me to believe that, much like most others on the Beings list, merpeople (and centaurs) have had romantic relationships with humans and could likely have offspring with them if they were so inclined

Merperson/Human hybrid offspring pretty much always favor their human ancestry, genetically. It’s a 1/1,000,000,000 chance that that kid’s gonna have anything other than legs. They’re just fishy humans 

Any kind of merperson can have part-human offspring. This isn’t limited to just Sirens

Also, again, just something I made up: non-magical, part-merperson humans don’t show any merperson traits. Merperson genes are only expressed if the magic gene is also active. So part-merperson Squibs would show no signs of their fishy heritage, and some Muggles may be carriers for merperson genes in any Muggleborn children of theirs and not be aware of it until the child starts showing merperson traits

Not sure if the above point should apply to all part-nonhuman offspring of different types of Beings, but I tend towards “yes”

Also, I just like the idea of there being a… not alliance, per se, but a sort of camaraderie between centaurs and merpeople. At the very least, a sort of respect between the two. No fighting (it’s not like they’ll ever really be in competition for territory, anyway)

Traits

Now, as for specific traits that Human/Merperson hybrids can have, I’ve split them into bodily traits and non-bodily ones. I think most physical traits get less prominent the less merperson someone is, and some probably just don’t show up at all unless you hit a certain percentage threshold. Like part-Veela, most traits are probably pretty difficult to detect

And, since I’m making this post in relation to my HPHM MC, Seren, and my version of Jacob, I’m gonna mark any that apply to them with an *

Bodily Traits

Let’s start with the obvious: it’s INCREDIBLY likely for half-merpeople to have webbed hands/feet and fin-like appendages. But only half-merpeople. Once you get below 50% merperson blood, fins don’t show up at all and webbing can be thin to nonexistent

Also common: large, flat feet. Larger than average. No arches. Almost like flippers, but not that big*

Large hands with long fingers aren’t as common, but they do happen

Many half-merpeople also have skin and/or hair tinted greenish/bluish/silvery, though that also tends to not show up in anybody with less than 50% merperson blood, and it’s never a very strong tint. Just enough to draw suspicion (also mostly localized to those of Cold Water merperson descent)

Skin doesn’t prune up in the water, or if it does it takes an absurd amount of time in the water for it to happen. Like, days long*

Lack of body hair. They just don’t naturally grow thick hair on their body. It’s not good for swimming. Most have a smooth-shaven look to them at all times, and it’s most prominent among male Sirens and any male hybrids of Siren descent *(again, mostly Jacob. Boy can’t grow a beard or chest hair. Or leg/arm hair)

Sharp teeth (Cold Water merpeople, again)

People with Cold-water merperson parents may be described as having fish-like faces. Wider, flatter, etc. People with Warm-water merperson parents may be described as more beautiful than the average person. Not to the extent of Veela, and certainly not magically attractive. They just tend to have pretty faces*

“Swimmer bodies.” Muscle distribution tends towards being good for swimming (so slender, muscular backs and legs, etc.) and they’re generally very flexible. Some are even quite tall due to the size of the average merperson *(mostly Jacob. Seren just doesn’t quite have the arms for it, though neither of them have the height)

Tend to be very temperature sensitive, though to what temperature depends on what their merperson parent was adapted to. People with warm-water based parents (Sirens, other merpeople with significant Siren heritage) freeze easily, people with cold-water parents (Merrows, Selkies, Sirens with Merrow or Selkie heritage) melt in the heat*

Increased lung capacity. The amount of time that a merperson hybrid can hold their breath underwater (or even just in general) is always much higher than the average human, though the amount of time they can hold it for lessens the less merperson blood they have (ex. 1/2 merperson = 45 min., 1/4 = 30 min., 1/8 = 20 min.)*

And, like normal humans, those can be trained to even higher capacities

I mentioned in Jacob and Seren’s bios that Jacob had an… incident involving some cod. Well, part-merpeople have bodies that require more nutrients found in seafood than most. They need to eat seafood fairly regularly (at least once every two weeks), otherwise they start getting horrible cravings for some, to the point where they’d eat raw fish, and get noticeably anxious, twitchy, and shaky due to malnutrition*

It wasn’t a problem Jacob and Seren even realized they had because they lived near the shore eating seafood often their whole lives. It wasn’t until they got to Hogwarts, where they don’t serve fish often, that either of them started having problems. Sometimes Seren’s friends see her eyeing the fish at dinner intently…

They don’t need more water than the average person to survive, but they are very acutely aware of any amount dehydration they experience. It can be the most uncomfortable sensation in the world to a part-merperson. Dry mouth is a nightmare*

Non-bodily Traits *(honestly all of these apply to Jacob and Seren so I’m marking the whole list)

Let’s get this one out of the way: fantastic singing voices. Just amazing, with little effort on their part. It’s not even magical singing, they’ve just got amazing pipes. Voices that carry like no one’s business (Siren only)

That said, assuming they’re skilled at magic, some can manage to give their singing a charming effect without the use of a spell, and even turn the effect on or off at will. Takes some practice to actually control. Most have used this ability accidentally at least once in their lives (Siren only)

Singing calms them down. It’s the best stress relief, and any part-Siren who doesn’t sing every once in a while can start to get extremely anxious and fidgety (Siren only)

Music in general also has a relaxing effect beyond that which it has on other, non-merperson individuals

Tend to have really sensitive hearing (to pick up sounds better underwater, yeah?) 

Ending up with perfect pitch or a natural sense of relative pitch is also common

They have like… a spiritual connection to water. Like, when they’re completely submerged, it’s like a sense of euphoria. Like you’ve found exactly where you belong (unless you are currently drowning). They could soak in a tub for hours and not even notice how long it’s been or if the water is getting cold. The Prefect’s bath would be heaven to them

This can also manifest in agitation just before a rainstorm or a burst of energy during one. Also, a natural inclination towards water-based magic, like Aguamenti

Gillyweed does… weird things to them. It’s almost like getting drunk. They get giddy, like the sense of euphoria from being submerged underwater just got kicked up a few notches. Some get almost manic under its influence. The effects of Gillyweed also tend to last about three times longer than they do for the average person, so an hour-long dose would last for three hours

Gillywater can also make them giggly. Like, they get a very short-lived buzz from it

They’re not any more inclined to learning Mermish than the average person. Some might learn it, considering that they have merperson relatives, but they don’t have any inherent understanding of it or increased aptitude towards learning it

Tagging @anheiressofasoldier because I know she was interested in seeing this!

[exploding-fountain]

The thing is Twice is no better or worse than Blackpink if you compare individual lines.

Vocal line:

Jihyo, Nayeon, Jeongyeon vs Rosé, Jisoo, Jennie. Throw in Mina and Lisa to have all 4. It's just so hard to compare them because they're so wildly different. To start with the main vocalists, Rosé has a very nasal and emotional voice whereas Jihyo is full and round. Nayeon is the center and treated as the main vocal while Jisoo is the visual and treated as the sub vocal. Jennie is treated as the main/lead vocal, getting the chorus lines despite technically being a sub vocal, and she's a better performer/dancer than Jeongyeon despite them being of similar vocal skill. Same thing with Mina and Lisa. Just so wildly different it's hard to compare.

Dance line:

Now this one's actually impossible to compare because Blackpink doesn't have a dance line, they have Lisa. Their lead dancer is Rosé but Jennie is treated as the lead, and to be fair, Jennie is the better performer. If you take Twice's dance line (Momo, Mina, Jihyo, Sana) they're obviously stronger than Blackpink.

Visual line:

Ok this one's just stupid. But Twice has an official visual line (Tzuyu, Nayeon, Mina, Sana) so here we are.

Rap line:

Yeah fine Blackpink wins.

Individually I think each Blackpink member would've made it through Sixteen to the debut group. JYP loves dancers, they chose Momo specifically bc of that, and Lisa is a better singer and more conventionally attractive, so she would've gotten a spot over Momo. They were looking for a rapper after Lena left/was kicked out and went with Chaeyoung/Dahyun. Jennie is a better singer and rapper so she would've taken that spot, perhaps from Dahyun as well though Dahyun was also meant to be the variety member. Rosé and Jisoo I'm less sure about. Rosé is a good performer so I think she would've made it. Jisoo not so much but she's a visual and that makes up for it in JYP's mind. I mean it was Tzuyu who got the fan votes; it might've been Jisoo instead.

The line up would probably look like: Nayeon, Jihyo, Jeongyeon, Jennie, Lisa (which is already a solid group), Mina, Rosé, Jisoo, Sana.

[quietbreeze97]

I started watching the Death Note Drama...

So I just watched the first episode of the Death Note drama. And I’m like... damn. This is much better than I expected it to be.

I like the fact that it’s true to the manga/anime but a few things are different, and not annoying things, actually some GOOD changes. I’m sure I’ll always love the anime most, but this seems like a really interesting adaptation. 

I’m going to give some brief thoughts on the first episode. Beware, spoilers ahead.

Things I really like:

- Light (initially at least) is less psychopathic and a bit more human than anime Light? I think it was realistic for him to have an emotional breakdown after first using the Death Note, hating himself for killing people and having a moral debate before he finally uses it properly. It’s not that I didn’t like how it took little persuasion for Light to start killing people in the anime, but I think the drama takes a more realistic approach with a version of Light who’s a little easier to relate to. I mean, damn, he contemplated suicide! That was shocking!

- Misa, right now, is more likeable in this than the anime, because she’s a bit more fleshed out and isn’t just thrown in halfway through the series as a Kira fanatic. You actually see her before all that, and I actually feel more sympathy towards her regarding her background. Also, I prefer being a lead singer than a model, to be honest.

- There is more backstory surrounding the Yagami family, a bit of tension between Soichiro and Light, an absent mother figure etc. It definitely adds another story element to the mix that I find interesting.

- Just... L. ... Oh, baby. This L. Hawt, damn! There’s no doubt I still prefer anime L (He wears shoes in the drama. Come on. He never wears shoes. :/) but at the same time I like the fact they’ve made him a little sassier and a little sexier. I may prefer seeing him in his baggy shirts and trousers to these smart, ironed, buttoned shirts, but hey ho, not complaining. He’s super cute. <3

Things I don’t like as much:

- Ryuk is hilarious as always, but the animation of him is a little painful to watch. I mean, Jesus Christ, agh, my eyes. >_<

- Some parts are a bit too cheesy for my liking, especially some of the deaths. They often just make me laugh.

- I’ve already said I find this version of L adorable, but I’m not sure they should have made him as sexy as they have? I get that it’s fanservice, but one of the reasons I loved L in the first place was because he’s not conventionally attractive. He’s antisocial, rarely smiles, and has no qualms about looking like he just crawled out of bed. That’s the L I know, and the drama version might be making him a little too attractive? But his personality is very much the same, so I can look past it. ^_^

Aaaaaaanyway those are my brief thoughts on the drama so far. Overall, I really, really like it! Can’t wait to watch more. :D

P.S. Also, Near is on the scene already? Sweet. 

[trashkweeen-blog]

Drinking and Dating - Brandi Glanville

As I was gearing up to read this book, and gathering my deeply intellectual thoughts on the 17 chihuahuas in a human suit that is Brandi Glanville, I was like, oh good, I love Brandi. Sweet pizza-throwing Brandi. She spills the tea, this should be good in a trainwreck sort of way. 

I mean, I have to say that I was squarely in the Brandi camp for a moment in time - a Dream Team fan, if you will. She really won me over at Game Night. You know, that desperate attempt by Dana to be part of the show. Ugh, Dana. Dana was like The Silence from Doctor Who. Not because she was silent - oh no, if she was within shouting distance you’d hear about her sunglasses and how much they cost. No, because the second you turn around, your memory of her is completely wiped. I had to google both her actual name and the name Kim kept calling her because she couldn’t remember Dana’s name either (it was Pam). 

Anyways. Game Night at Pam’s was not a cute look for Kim and Kyle Richards, or as I like to think of them, Baby Jane and Blanche Hudson in the lead up to the accident that will eventually leave Kyle bound in a chair while Kim feeds her rats and writes letters to daddy. You may remember Game Night as the night when Kim hobbled in super late, took her trenta coffee cup filled with mashed up pills into the bathroom, and proceeded to do her hair and makeup, with Kyle intermittently popping in to both tell her she’s being weird, and to be weird. 

You may also remember Game Night as the night when Brandi accused Kim of doing crystal meth in the bathroom, and then Kim and Kyle hid Brandi’s crutches so she couldn’t stand up or walk. I’m citing this as exhibit 1 in Kim’s latent Baby Jane persona, just waiting in the wings. 

Point is, Kim and Kyle were pacing the room like lunatics, pointing their withered fingers at Brandi, and calling her such chill things as “slut pig”. Poor Brandi, NEW TO THIS GROUP, and being called a pig by the witch character from that Nightmare VHS board game from the 90s:

(shit, do you guys remember that?)

Brandi, with the fearlessness of an Amazon warrior queen, looked up, unblinking, unflinching, and calmly said, “Bring it, bitch, color me slut”. And Kim and Kyle were shook. I live for anyone who shakes Kyle. 

I also really loved when Lisa Vanderpump demanded an olive branch from her, and Brandi legit yanked a branch off of one of LVP’s trees, handed it to her, and then said, “what do you want me to do, eat your pussy?” Iconic. 

Admittedly, Brandi lost me a little by Season 5, when she developed a super co-dependent relationship with Kim, where they each made it a fun hobby to enable the other’s worst behaviour. Brandi decided she was gonna replace Kyle, which like, unless you’ve endured years of Big Kathy pushing you into show biz and gold digging bad marriages, then no, you can’t. You don’t have the range. 

But i was intrigued nonetheless, eager enough to dig into Brandi’s second book, which I read out of chronological order for the very academic reason that it was available first at the library. 

And it started off pretty strong. Brandi lovingly told us about the HPV her cheating trash ass ex husband gave her, called Leann Rimes a cunt, shaded her album sales, blamed Adrienne Maloof for her own shitty marriage, and called bullshit on the concept of scorned ex wives. Overall, great shit. Loved it. I was like yesssssss preach through a lot of it. 

Then Brandi delved into her dating advice, and girl, she was feeling her Carrie Bradshaw oats at every turn. I could basically picture her, smoking at her window, wearing a tutu, and gazing forlornly at the Chair that Aiden Made™. Which, like, all the Aiden apologists in the world need to get over. Aiden was trash. He tried to force Carrie into a boring ass engagement, pulling her away from interesting parties with porn producers, so she could like, watch him eat fried chicken in his gross underwear at 10pm???? 

The only good thing Aiden ever did was keep Carrie home when she could have been out making comments like this to her friends. A real service to her friends, who had to pretend to laugh at her idiotic jokes because she always got them tickets to cool stuff. 

Aaaaanyways. Brandi Glanville is no Carrie Bradshaw, and if she were, I’d really prefer if she’d been the Carrie Bradshaw whose computer crashes before she learns how to backup her writing. 

Drinking and Dating is a combination of bad dating advice, very personal child custody beef with her ex husband (yeah, I know his name, I just don’t care enough to type it, he sucks), and blind items about the “celebrities” she’s banged. 

Apparently, she wanted to list these celebrities by name, and her publishers wouldn’t let her, for fear of being sued. And honestly, Brandi being sued is not a saga I want to watch. She was personally outraged enough when her Celebrity Big Brother alliance member Keshia Knight wanted to leave the house in order to BREASTFEED HER INFANT, so I don’t wanna know how ugly Brandi gets when she’s got, like, actual problems. 

So, first things first, here’s some bad dating advice from Brandi Glanville:

pick up guys at Home Depot! Apparently, it is filled with “manly men” who want to turn women into housewives. If you roam the electrical aisle, you can “have your pick of Home Depot’s most eligible bachelors”. I hate this so much, I can’t even fully articulate it. This is by far the worst dating advice I have ever heard, and I read Class with the Countess. 

If a guy has a criminal record, but also a private jet, only the latter fact is important. Like, if the assault charges and restraining order have been dropped, and he tells you his ex girlfriend was batshit crazy, it’s safe to assume everything’s kosher here, and you can proceed to fly around on his jet, where no one can hear you scream.

dump a guy if his idea of an epic party is at Brendan Fraser’s condo. I AM SORRY BUT if I had the chance to party at Brendan Fraser’s condo, I would skip my own father’s funeral. Like, yeah he’s kinda fat and weird now, but if you close your eyes, imagine him at his peak, and make him say “George love Ursula”, you could probably still come while he lazily rails you. And you owe it to your thirsty 1997 self.

But, I guess if you’re at a point in your life where relationship advice from Brandi Glanville seems appealing, it’s too late for me to reach you. Have fun at Home Depot. 

I’m skipping the parts about whether Brandi’s trash ass ex husband is boycotting her relationship with her children by not letting them bring nice clothes to her house and whatever else. Cause it’s too dark, and I’m not here to contribute to the psychotic breaks any real housewives children may have when they start comprehending their parents’ exploits. 

What I will talk about is the series of dating stories Brandi “coyly” relates, using cute little pseudonyms for her bang buddies. Yeah, you could comb through the 2010-2011 NBA season team roster stats to figure out who the 6′11″ suitor was, but like, who cares honestly? If it wasn’t even interesting enough for the paps, it’s not interesting enough to sleuth for. 

The only one that caught my attention really, was the mid 90s TV star who was out with his more conventionally attractive co-star at the time. I do believe this to be David Schwimmer and Matt LeBlanc, so do with that what you will. (But I will say that if I had to fuck anyone from the core Friends group, it would be Ross. If we’re going outside the core group, it’s gotta be Paolo for some of that patented “meaningless animal sex”.)

Overall, this book was a fucking labor to get through; it was rough. I downloaded the audiobook so that I could listen to it while walking to work and on the treadmill, and yeah, that kinda made it easier to digest, but it also meant I had to listen to Brandi’s dog whistle of a voice for several hours. 

I can’t decide what was more irritating about this book, the 7,000 hashtags used throughout, or the mind-numbing minutia of things like what grocery store Brandi prefers and why. (PS, remember when Ramona Singer thought minutia was a Yiddish word, and was probably visualizing it spelled “menusha”? Bless.)

Given the choice, I’d rather go to the Van Kempens’ housewarming party, where they didn’t serve food even though it was at 8pm, than read another chapter of Brandi’s tales. 

Quick Stats:

Pages: 242

Did it need to be that many pages?: Ugh, absolutely not. There were times I zoned out during the audiobook, or just got up to pee and stopped listening for a few minutes, and I feel I did not miss anything. 

Did it change my mind about the housewife?: Honestly, it made me hate her more, but that could be because listening to Brandi Glanville’s voice for several hours straight is a form of torture used at Guantanamo. 

Real-ass book rating: 📖/5. This book was awful. It was so terrible. It had no structure, and was just a series of long, unedited, pointless stories, punctuated with bad hashtags.

Junk food book rating: 💎/5. Idk, like if you wanna hear about how Brandi banged an unnamed NBA player in a car in an alley, or how she had to sleep off her wine at some unnamed actor’s house because she couldn’t get her breathalyzer ignition to start in her car after she banged him, I guess the book is like somewhat amusing. But if you’ve ever listened to a middle aged woman complain about her kids’ stepmom for any length of time, you know it’s not worth it. 

[kyloren]

«you have witchcraft in your lips» —famous!Bughead

When Jughead Jones and Betty Cooper were cast as leads for HBO’s Harry Potter prequel show Magic is Might, they thought they did not know each other. They were wrong.

note: this is a collaborative work between myself and @lilibug--xx. I wrote Jughead’s POV and she Betty’s. Be warned, we are each other’s betas, too. 

read it on ao3. 

“A dress made of air and webs and you,

The wet dreams evaporate as they come true.

To anyone else just endless blue,

An invisible kite string connects me to you.”

— Pieces of Sky by Beth Orton.

CHAPTER ONE: mr jones and me, we’re gonna be big stars…

@Variety: HBO picks up four pilot episodes, including Toni Topaz’s Harry Potter prequel project.

@Deadline: Up-and-coming musical director Kevin Keller branches off from theatre and confirms working on Harry Potter prequel series with HBO — Magic is Might.

@EntertainmentNews: BREAKING NEWS: Disney darling Veronica Lodge officially casted as one of the leads in Kevin Keller’s upcoming Marauders Era project — Magic is Might.

@Buzzfeed: You will not believe who was just confirmed to be cast in Magic is Might! 

@CherryBombshell: To all my loyal, beautiful followers: Of course, I got the part. How could they not cast moi?

@NZHerald: Singer-songwriter Archie Andrews is rumoured to be involved with HBO’s Magic is Might.

@Deadline: Magic is Might Harry Potter prequel series finds its Sirius Black: “He walked in right off the street and I knew — that is our Sirius Black,” says showrunner, Kevin Keller.

@EntertainmentNews: HBO’s Magic is Might just cast its Remus Lupin, and it’s a very interesting choice.

@Buzzfeed: Magic is Might’s Remus Lupin is now — Remmy Lupin?!

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THE WAYWARD PRINCE:

The thing about Jughead Jones — he was weird, and he liked to be weird.

Jughead Jones was the following things: adroit wordsmith, razor-sharp, and a smart-mouthed asshole. He was not, however, the sort a teenage girl’s dreams were made of. He was a little too tall and a little too angular with a face that was a little too fond of scowling to be conventionally attractive. He had two girlfriends in the span of his entire life, and first one he’d acquired when he was nine for the span of two days. He was akin to a scalpel — sharp-edged, clinical, and very good at cutting people out of his life.

Except, Sabrina.

Never Sabrina.

And because of Sabrina — he was here, regretting everything.

“This,” Jughead grumbled for the nth time, “is all your fault.”

“Yes,” Sabrina agreed, throwing a dusky-blue button-down at him with a glare that clearly conveyed wear this or else, “it is my fault that you’ve landed the biggest television role of this year. I apologise for being magnificent.”

Jughead snorted. “Potter is the lead.”

“Who cares? Sirius is obviously meant to be the hot one. That makes his role the bigger fish. And you,” Sabrina said, tilting his head sideways and inspecting the carelessly casual style she arranged his hair in (read: brushed once and let it air-dry), “cousin-german, will soon be smiling from a poster on every pubescent girl’s wall and be the main feature in their dreams.”

“If it’s all the same to you,” Jughead’s scowl grew deeper, a feat he had not imagined was achievable before he’d done it. “I’d rather not.” 

Two hours later, two thirds of which were spent navigating L.A.’s atrocious traffic, Jughead found himself lounging in a deceptively comfortable egg chair in a Hollywood studio, waiting to proceed with the first script reading session with the rest of Magic is Might cast. Sabrina, primly perched to his right, was scanning the others over the brim of her rapidly cooling coffee cup with shrewd, pale-grey eyes, as Jughead lazily thumbed through the script.

“Stop eyeing them like you want to wear their faces as a mask, Ree,” he muttered out of the corner of his mouth.

“I am so not. I’m eyeing them like I want to make a fashionable skin suit, obviously. Get your facts straight, Jones.”

Here was the thing; — Jughead firmly believed that if you did something, you better put your best foot forward from the start; to do your very best at everything you undertook and not half-ass it simply because it required effort. (Life required effort, Jughead often reminded himself, if it didn’t it wouldn’t be so damn difficult.)

This stance seemed at odds with his disaffected and cynical slacker persona, but what could Jughead say — he was contrary like that. He could remain apathetic and be a pedantic perfectionist at heart; he had layers, like a lasagna.

But precisely that sort of attitude had landed him the lead role in Magic is Might as Sirius Black.

It had happened nine days ago, when Jughead had accompanied Sabrina to her second audition for Magic is Might — she had failed to get Lily Evans’s role and was trying out for Narcissa Black. Jughead was there for emotional support, for the sort of get your shit together, you walking waste of space pep-talks Sabrina and he excelled at. He was there to permit his hand to be crushed in a vice grip as she waited for her name to be called, and to take her to Wildflower Café by their apartment to gorge on breakfast foods and stuff their faces with toasted marshmallow milkshakes in the face of another disappointment.

Jughead Jones was, by profession, a screenwriter; he wrote seven plays, one of which had been actually made into a film. He was not an actor. The universe disagreed, however. Kevin fucking Keller disagreed, too, apparently, because the moment Jughead had walked up to a dumbfounded-looking Sabrina after her audition — handkerchief at the ready, just in case — he’d been spotted by Kevin fucking Keller’s eagle-eyed stare. Kevin fucking Keller who’d taken one look at Jughead, pointed his finger at him and with eyedrum piercing snap, barked out, “You, there — in here, now.” and Sabrina, that fucking traitor, had pushed him forward into the audition room.

It was serendipitous he knew the script like the back of his hand, having practiced with Sabrina until they were blue in the face, it was also fortuitous his reaction in the face of sheer audacity was to fall back on his most defining traits — sarcasm and generally all-around fuck-you attitude.

Both, as it had turned out, were great characteristics for one Sirius Black.

So here he was, Forsythe Pendleton Jones the third, newly minted actor extraordinaire with no education about the craft and enough talent, according to Keller, to fill the Pacific ocean and then some — out of his depth, and feeling utterly displaced.

It was a peculiar feeling, foreign and unwelcome — Jughead hated it with the blazing ebullition of pure abhorrence.

“Hey,” Sabrina called, soft as a whisper, placing her hand on his knee, stilling it. Jughead hadn’t realised his left leg had been bouncing. “Relax, bro-bro.”

Jughead opened his mouth to reply something along the lines of Shut it, hambone, but was interrupted when a tall shadow of a small person fell across his lap.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Mad Max himself,” commented a small, red-headed girl on berry-red charged murder-weapons on the lam from the law and thus posing as women’s footwear. “So, tall, dark, and inexperienced, how does it feel to finally be in the real show biz?”

There was a refractory set to Jughead’s clenched jaw, so Sabrina answered in his stead, snickering, “I don’t know Big Red, you tell us?”

The girl’s exceedingly red mouth was reset out of its perpetually sullen pout into a grimace of distaste. “For a virtual nobody, you sure have a mouth on you, Emily Strange.”

There were four rules Jughead Jones instinctively followed whenever he chose to speak: Was he being rational? Was he being truthful? Were his words necessary? Were they kind? Often times, if he had not met all of his criteria, Jughead would settle on keeping his silence a while longer.

This, was not such a time.

“Is that all you can do,” Jughead found himself rasping out, “try your utmost to diss people with painfully obvious references? You’re not doing a very good job, are you?”

“You’re a pretty cool customer, huh?”

“I hide my inner pain underneath a stoic visage,” Jughead quipped. Cheryl Blossom looked like would like nothing more than to dig her red-tipped claws into Jughead’s stoic visage.

“Hey, guys,” said a guy in corduroy slacks and a blue-yellow varsity jacket of all things; he was average-height, but with a Heroic Build identifying him as James Potter material. There was a hint of admonishment in his tone, but not enough to reign anyone in. “We’re supposed to be getting along…”

Jughead was utterly unsurprised when he was promptly ignored.

Big Red sneered down on them and with a snazzy flip of gloriously red hair, pointedly perched on the corner of the oval table. Then, she extended a bedazzled with a shape of a cherry phone Jughead didn’t realise she held in front of her on a selfie-stick, and with that godawful pout, began, “See, my lovely cherries, when presented with a choice between either Tim Burton Junior and his blonde Fran Bow or a ginger Kelly Clarkson, Cheryl Bombshell has no choice but to choose herself. I certainly hope their acting is better than their personalities because those are as parched as a dry spell.”

“Oi, Cherry Bomb!” a female producer barked sharply, the one with pink-striped hair and a punk attitude, “don’t fucking live blog a closed script reading, you imbecile!”

“Don’t call me that!” Cheryl Blossom snarled, teeth unnaturally white against the vivid red of her mouth. “How are my cherries supposed to know what I’m doing at any given moment if I don’t blog about it?”

“I don’t know,” Jughead grumbled, too low to be heard by anyone but Sabrina, who promptly elbowed him in the ribs, “maybe try not to seek validation from a faceless mass of people online?” said the kettle to the pot, he mentally added.

The woman with the pink hair was even shorter than Cheryl, but when she stood up, she cut an impressively intimidating figure nonetheless. “This,” she growled, “is what we get for casting a bloody Instagram starlet.”

“She’s a solid choice, Toni,” Keller admonished, softly, gingerly prying away her fingers off his bicep, “she can act and her hair is iconic. What more could we ask for?”

“A fucking professional attitude for one. And maybe,” Topaz, that was her name, Jughead finally remembered, pointedly shouted in red-head’s direction, “not to always pout like she’s about to suck dick.”

Cheryl Blossom looked up from the highly-focused examination of her razor-sharp talons she’d been performing and pouted. “I don’t suck dick on sheer principle, you grotsky little byotch.”

Varsity Jacket raised his hands in placation. “Okay, seriously, maybe you should—”

“Toni, go smoke a fag and find your chill,” cut in Keller, and her hand immediately shot up, giving him the middle finger, but she left the room nonetheless. “And Cheryl, take it down a notch. I’m serious, you hear me?”

Cheryl turned away from him with a huff, but she hadn’t said anything. Instead, she began typing away furiously on her phone.

Huh, thought Jughead.

Kevin Keller was not a tough guy, he noticed, he did not have a commanding presence. Even Varsity Jacket drew more attention to himself with his ridiculous floppy hair, freckled face, and All-American attitude. But, Jughead decided, Kevin Keller understood women. With that in mind, Jughead settled back in his chair, reading over the script yet again.

It was fifteen minutes later when Toni Topaz strode into the room, her combat boots practically abusing the dotted, grey linoleum with the force of her steps, not looking an iota less stressed. “Fuck it,” she announced, “if we wait anymore for those two, we’ll get behind schedule.”

“All right, then,” Keller said, clapping his hands, “places, everyone.”

Like the asshole she was, Sabrina took the seat assigned to him, next to Varsity Jacket, and switched their name planks with a wink. Jughead had neither the inclination nor the naiveté to question her choices, so he dragged the chair he had been sitting for the last half-an-hour towards the table by its back, and positioned himself on Sabrina’s left, straightening the SIRIUS BLACK plaque so it was uniformly aligned with all the others.

The plague before a lounging Cheryl Blossom did not read BITCH FROM HELL, much to Jughead’s surprise, instead, it said — LILY EVANS.

A thought streaked across the forefront of his mind: We are all royally fucked.

Varsity Jacket’s named turned out to be Archie Andrews. Jughead knew that now because the first words out of that kid’s mouth were, quite literally, “Hey, there. I’m Archie Andrews, I’m eighteen, you may know me from last year’s 16 Birthday Wishes, and I look forward to working with ya all.”

Jughead could not have conjured this kid up had he even tried. He shared a concerned glance with Sabrina who mouthed, is he for real? and Jughead only had the energy to shrug. Yeah, he decided, he could see this Archie Andrews as one James Potter. If he squinted.

Cheryl Blossom did not introduce herself. She scowled at all of them, even poor golden retriever puppy personified Andrews, called them philistines, and proceeded with reading her lines. Interesting development: she could act. Expected conclusion: she packed too much malice into her lines and came of as passive aggressive. Keller had to intermediately correct her. That was, however, a correctable quality she could redeem herself from with enough effort; or so Sabrina had said, Jughead’s inescapable, little-devil-on-the-shoulder-type expert on all things acting™.  

When it was his turn to read, Jughead did what he had always done when he read out loud his scripts during editing: tried his damndest not to stutter, keeping his voice smooth and even, and detached himself from the situation, rendering himself utterly impervious to nerves and apprehension. It was not Jughead Jones who had been reciting the script from memory as the lines printed on paper streamed before his eyes in a confusing, maddening swirl — it had been Sirius Black doing all those things; teasing his friend James, flirting with prim and proper Lily, arguing with Narcissa.

Disassociating might have kept Jughead’s anxiety at bay, but it made Sirius Black come alive.

So, of course, once Jughead had gotten into the swing of things, the universe rained on his parade: the door slammed open, revealing two girls standing on the other side of its frame.

“Oooops,” said the shorter one, her dark hair reflecting light attractively as she stode in the room. She had not sounded particularly sorry, Jughead noticed. “Apologies, hadn’t meant to barge in quite so—”

“Veronica,” Toni cut in, as bitingly as a wolf, “you were supposed to be here half-an-hour ago!”

“That late, huh,” muttered Veronica assumingly Lodge, flipping her wrist to check the slim, diamond-encrusted watch on her left hand. “Apologies, Toni, darling, but L.A. traffic is simply odious, as you well know. Got held up.”

“By what — appearance of abominable snowman in the middle of Franklin Avenue?”

“Not quite,” Veronica replied, a sly not-quite smile settling on her face, “Betty and I—”

“Of course, you had hamstrung Cooper, too.” Toni cast a dirty look over Veronica’s shoulder at a willowy, nervous-looking blonde still hesitating in the doorway. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed you there, princess.”

“Well, as I was saying, Betty and I,” continued Veronica Lodge, bulldozing over Toni completely and out of the corner of his eye, Jughead could see Call Me Archie Andrews’s jaw unhinge a little, “were late completely by accident, but it was all my fault. Let’s just say, a Lodge doesn’t always land on their feet.

“Still, I had to amend such an insufferable grievance,” Veronica smiled, charmingly, still sly as a fox. “Imagine how tickled pink I was to learn we are not only headed into the same building, but for the same script reading—”

“To which you are late; both of you,” grumbled Toni, but she seemed to have lost most of her heat. Kevin was rubbing her shoulders soothingly as she massaged her temples. Momentarily, Jughead wondered if she was prematurely grey beneath all that pink dye.

“—long story, short: Betty here,” Veronica said, stepping back and drawing the taller girl into her side. “Is my new BFF and I love her to pieces.”

“From a five minute meeting,” Kevin asked, corner of his mouth twitching.

“Boo, you whore,” teased Veronica, earning an unexpect snort from Sabrina, “it’s love at first sight. Don’t judge.” Then:

“You there,” Veronica snapped her fingers in the direction of a fish-eyed assistant Jughead took care to ignore — she’d been making moon-eyes at him, according to Sabrina, and there were times to be wary of his cousin’s advice, but not in instances such as this one. “Fetch me a skinny venti white mocha, one shot, with two pumps of sugarfree vanilla, no whip — pronto. I can’t think clearly without my daily recommended injection of sugar and caffeine.”

Immediately, the situation dissolved into absolute bedlam as everyone clamoured for Ginger’s attention to place their coffee order, too. She’s a sly one, Jughead thought for the third time, smart, too.

Here was the thing about Jughead Jones: he was an objective observer of life, not an active participator. An introvert and a borderline misanthrope, he regarded the world from a safe distance of cool, clinical detachment — he watched and he recorded and he understood because he noticed enough to pay attention in the first place; he was perceptive, and he used this to his advantage. 

And as if enticed by a magnetic pull, Jughead’s eyes drifted towards the leggy blonde to his right. The first thing he noticed her was this — she was uncomfortable. The second was that she was seemed nervous, displaced; and third — well, she was making her way towards him.

This girl, however, was totally throwing him for a loop.

She was dressed in a diaphanous, intricately embroidered, sapphire-coloured blouse, and when she shifted to pull out her chair, Jughead could see her laced brassiere through the silk material. Unexpectedly, she sat next to him, across from a plaque reading REMMY LUPIN. She had a striking look — blue-eyed and golden-haired with a face like a porcelain doll’s; wide-eyed, lovely, and haunting in its stillness. I met a lady on a moor, Jughead though, aureate hair, refulgent eyes; a dancing, starry sprite.

“Hi,” she greeted, turning to him, face splitting into a blooming, honeyed smile, white teeth gleaming, the streaming sunlight from the window behind them set her braid into a molten blaze, “I’m Betty.”

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.

.

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THE DREAMER:

“Three creams, two splenda, please.”

Betty Cooper was already running (hopefully, fashionably) late; not exactly a good first impression. She had woken up behind schedule (she had sort of fallen into the black hole that was Tumblr, recently, and had taken to staying up late); her cat, Caramel, had thrown up all over the kitchen floor. One side of her hair had dried flatter than the other — she was never going to bed straight from the shower ever again. And her uber had been running behind. Fantastic, she had uttered when finally arriving at the address given. The time on her phone alerting her that she should would have been inside already, had her morning gone accordingly, sipping on her coffee without a care in the world.

Well, that last bit was a stretch. If you asked anyone who knew her, they would say without a doubt that, Betty Cooper cared too much, about everything.

It was kind of her thing, though. Betty had a profound sense of perseverance and applied it to anyone in need of help that she came across. Polly (her older sister and recently, albeit somewhat regrettably, her manager) akined it to her being like a new mother, babying her fresh-faced ducklings. It often impeded her own desires and well-thought out plans.

Betty was a goner for a schedule. She could plan her day like nobody’s business — rarely did it ever actually go according to plan though. She would describe herself as being meticulous bordering the edge of perfectionist — Betty actually detested that word. Being in control of the situation, however, gave her life.

This was all new to her though, at least, fairly. Acting, that is.

She had been on edge of booking a flight back to San Francisco for what seemed like months. With only $200 to her name, and a can of cold soup sitting like a rock in her belly, Betty had auditioned for a role in Magic is Might. She had been failing auditions for months, her savings account was gone, and she was exhausted from working two menial jobs in order to have money to even go to auditions.

So, by all accounts, Betty figured an extra boost of caffeine was in order to make it through the whirlwind day that had been plotted ahead. A table read with her cast mates of Magic is Might, who she had yet to meet, was slotted for the whole day. As well as some promotional pictures of the group. The whole thing came together rather quickly for an HBO show, as she understood. Betty would be forever grateful that they hadn’t found anyone for the part of Remus Lupin yet.

Somehow, her name had been misspelled (she wanted to glare at Polly) and they thought it had said Elizander, on her papers. Whoever had been manning the audition hadn’t done a thorough look-through at the time and had barely looked up at her, just shooed her through the door. They seemed desperate.

To be fair, she hadn’t realized that the part of Remus was male. Of course, she had read the Harry Potter books, who hasn’t? But Polly had simply implored her to get her ass to this audition, without much else to go on.

Everyone had stared at her when she entered the room, but the guy in the middle of the group seated before her had stood up, planting his hands on the table with a loud smack.

“Excuse me, this isn’t —”

“No, excuse me, but that was incredibly rude.” A blush bloomed across her chest, streaking upwards, despite her outward display of confidence. “I’m here to audition, so let me audition before turning me away.”

It turns out that the man was Kevin Keller, one of the showrunners. Betty had desperately wanted to curl into a ball from mortification when she found out, but instead she had been engulfed in a hug while he had exclaimed “Such fire!”, and had let her do the audition.  

They had complimented her afterwards. Apparently she had an inner voice that matched Remus’s suppressed darkness à la werewolf unequivocally. They were going to change the character and rework the script for her. Betty was unperturbed usually, but she had been floored by their sentiments.

Now, granted, they had done the same thing for the character of Snape, but that was for Veronica Lodge — ex-disney starlet who had bowed out of the limelight for several years only to return and turn everyone’s heads when she demanded the part of Severus Snape.

Betty mussed her life was going to be very different from here on out (assuming the show gets picked up after the contingent episodes), but she was looking forward to not cringing every time they ran her card through a register. She loved food, and coffee was a vice she wasn’t willing to give up.

In L.A. there seemed to be a Starbucks on just about every godforsaken block, so she had been thankful there was one conveniently close to the building she was now ardently walking toward. Betty was practically jogging as she took a sip of her drink, the mouthful of cold coffee was sweet and creamy. It was really refreshing — had she not just spilled it all over her shirt when someone plowed into her shoulder, jarring the cup from her hand.

Betty had stood frozen in place, her muscles turning tense as she panicked. Of course she had worn her favorite outfit today. Her pale pink sweater was now sticking to her skin uncomfortably, but thankfully there were only a few drops on her jeans — the dark color of them would prevent a stain from being noticeable, but her sweater…

“Oh my god, fuck, I am so sorry.”

Betty looked up from where she was still staring at her coffee soaked front, hand crushing the now empty cup. She blinked owlishly at the girl who had spoken. A dark haired girl with an equally empty cup, however stain free clothes — impeccable, by the way, in front of her. Small hands covered in white lace gloves (really? The urge to roll her eyes was strong) were reaching out for her and grabbing hold of her arm, gently albeit forcefully. Betty had no choice but to be tugged along and out of the path of the ravenous L.A. goers on the sidewalk.

“It’s… fine, really,” Betty hadn’t wanted to use the word, but there wasn’t anything else on the tip of her tongue. “I’m running late to my read through anyway, I should —”

Veronica interrupted her, raising her impeccably arched brows even higher. “Read through? As in, script?”

Nodding, Betty looked up to the tall glass front building they were almost in front of. She had been so close…

“Well, I think we’re headed to the same place then. Veronica Lodge,” the raven haired girl extended her glove covered hand and Betty raised her hand that wasn’t a sticky mess to shake it. Veronica continued, “pleasure to meet you…” she trailed off and Betty interjected.

“Betty Cooper.”

“Betty, allow me to offer you a new blouse, I simply can’t let you in there like that.”

Betty had started to shake her head, fingers itching to reach up and tighten her ponytail, but alas, she realized, she had worn her hair in a loose braid that brushed the edges of her collarbone. “No, that’s okay, you don’t have to do that.” she waved a hand, tossing her empty cup into the trash bin they had stopped by.

“I insist. Come,” it wasn’t up for debate anymore, that white glove grabbing Betty’s wrist again and pulling her toward a sleek black car that was parked some spaces down. “Don’t worry about being late, if we both are then they really can’t do anything about it."

Betty was surprised that the words didn’t sound pretentious coming from the other girls mouth, but humble. Veronica had pulled her inside the car, instructing her to pull the door closed. She hesitated before doing so, the door shutting with a soft click. She never thought being in a car alone with Veronica Lodge would ever be on her agenda, but here she was, with a collection of delicate tops spread over their laps that were distinctly not at all Betty’s style.

But beggars couldn’t be choosers.

Her green-blue eyes examined the choices carefully, taking in the price tags still dangling from them. Her throat was dry, her swallow surely audible. Everything was more-than-her-rent expensive. Plucking the one with the smallest numbers up, a transparent (okay maybe she had made a mistake here…) sapphire-blue blouse with colorful embroidered flowers, “This one is great,” she smiled at Veronica.

“Oh, excellent choice. Can’t go wrong with Derek Lam 10.”

She scrunched her nose up, fingering the material. Veronica had leant back against the seat, arms crossed expectantly. Betty glanced around to the car windows. “You want me to change here?”

“I expect you, too, yes.”

Betty sucked in a breath of courage and peeled off the stained sweater. Thankfully, her white (unlucky, she had decided) lacy bralette would be suitable underneath the barely-considered-a-shirt. She felt Veronica’s dark eyes on her, watching as she slipped the garment on over her head. Betty tugged it down gently, it only hit the top waist of her jeans.

Veronica reached out a hand to snap the price tag off, tossing it into the empty front seat. “There, oh you have to keep it, it looks perfect on you.”

The blonde smoothed a hand down her somewhat exposed stomach, wishing she were thinner or more toned. “Sure. Thanks, Veronica.”

“You’re quite welcome, darling. Nothing bores friendship quicker than the sharing of clothes and gossiping over boys. So one down, one to go.”

Betty couldn’t help the smile blooming across her face at Veronica’s words. She could use a friend. L.A. had been a lonely place the past two years, which did nothing to help her anxiety.

“Of course, I’m looking forward to it. We’ll be spending a lot of time together after all.”

The other girl smiled back, tucking glossy black hair behind her ear. “Indeed, we might as well make the best of it.” she paused, checking the fancy was fastened around her delicate wrist. “We are incredibly late now, darling. We had better hurry along before Toni sinks her teeth into us.”

Betty nodded, climbing out the car door as gracefully as she could with shaking hands. Veronica had saddled up to her side, linking their arms together as they walked. Feeling a burst of adoration for the girl Betty felt she had wrongly judged in the past (she grew up watching Disney channel, after all) she vowed not to judge any of the other actors based on the same principle.

The ease of being by Veronica’s side made her nerves calm until they were in front of the appropriate conference room door. A wicked smirk graced the raven-haired girl’s features and she disentangled their arms. A dainty platform heeled foot kicked the door in with surprising force for such a small girl.

It had Betty stepping back, hiding away from the doorframe a ways, eyes darting around the room and taking in the scene. It looks like they had already started the read through, and the ball of nerves in her stomach started to grow again.

She did not think it would ever leave her.

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tbc.

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note: Title comes from Shakespeare’s Henry V: “You have witchcraft in your lips, Kate. There is more eloquence in a sweet touch of them than in the tongues of the whole French council.” Chapter title comes from Mr. Jones by Counting Crows.