#is it a rewards system bc it doesn't feel like it

[the---hermit]

Lately my internal dialogue has just been my compromising with myself as if i were a little kid, like if we do this and this we can skip class on wednesday

[everlastiingiimmortals]

oh fuck me i just gave myself severe emotional damage thinking about the effort jing yuan would put into making sure his soldiers who aren't on active fighting duty have something special on their birthday. whether it's a day off if he can squeeze it in or a lil extra pay or a cake at the end of the day or even a personal well wish if he runs into them,,, sir ur soldiers rank in the millions on a good day please

[cursedzucchini]

You know what? Fuck it

DC x DP prompt #3

I think at least lmao.

Anyway! Jason starts making videos on YouTube for one reason or another (is really stressed, no one listens to his rants Abt books who cares). His content is mostly bad books he read or really really really long rants Abt pride and prejudice. Like 3 hours on one tiny detail he noticed on his 214th read through.

He's kinda popular, mostly bc his terrible books videos. He talks Abt the ones that made him the most mad, which coincidentally are mostly romance and supernatural. Like he's one of the well known figures in the supernatural romance critique group (whcih is pretty small, but well). (Also he doesn't show his face on camera, bc secret identity and stuff, it's just his voice over a video of something mundane, like the sky or a room in which is a fly or something)

And now this can go two ways, that i can think of (w dead on main in mind at least)

1) one day Jason finds a book which is supernatural romance and is actually good. It has a kidna cliche system for the supernatural stuff, but with a refreshing twist. The characters have depts and flaws, yet are still very likable. The plot is actually interesting and overall the story's theme is death, not belonging anywhere and overall stuff that is very close to Jason's heart. The story doesn't shy away from violence and it is suprisingly accurate.

(I'm.gonna reblog this w pretty long idea of what this book could be Abt, bc i don't wanna annoy ppl lol)

Anyway Jason kinda falls in love w it, and it becomes famous for being the first novel Jason rated positively or something.

Meanwhile Danny, who was told by jazz writing is good way to get his feeling out, and just wanted to make a quick buck, is really fucking confused how tf did his book become so popular and who tf is this nerd who rates books for a living.

(basically big fan Jason and suspicious/awkward Danny lmao)

2) there is a famous series on Jason profile. It's the worst fucking series he ever read and it's just fucking awful. All the characters are fucking terrible, always going on and on about one thing, the romance sucks in a way that isnt even funny. Jason would love to believe some wrote this as a joke, if it wasn't for the absolute cringefest this was, and it wasn't a whole ass series!! Like who writes 12 books for a joke?

Danny ducking Fenton that's who. Dude was so ducking annoyed at his rogues, he threatened them w writing a terrible romance novels abt them. The ghosts, knowing his terrible grade in literature backed off for a moment, before someone crossed the line. And write Danny did. It was the worst thing he had ever written, the love interest was perfect caricature yet still faithfully go the original. And Danny, because fuck them he lost sommuch sleep over that one prank, decided to publish it. (The book was pretty thin so it didn't take that much time writing it). Unfortunately it became immensely popular in the infinite realm. So the ghosts started crossing lines on purpose. Before Danny figured it out, he had already published his fifth book and was writing another three. After some bargaining, getting a book written Abt them as a piece of shit love interest became a reward.

And while yeah, he had to say his writing was terrible and the books sucked, some small part of him was kinda proud y'know? Like a mother of her twelve ugly as fuck toddlers.

So when he saw some nerd on the internet not only shit talk his book, but also get money of it?

Danny decided to haunt him (just like his books did him, now that everyone knew Abt them thanks to this guy)

(enemies (sorta it's not that serious tho) to lovers ala terrible writer Danny who hates his books and kinda famous YouTuber hasn't who also hates Danny's books)

--

Fuck this is way too long wtf. Anyway imma reblog this w 1) book idea. Might add whatever i think the twelve books could be Abt. Pls if u want to add anything to this pls do!!

[southparkhcsocs]

kicking my feet and giggling

can you do something like the main 4 praising you whether it's nsfw or not or both

heavy on the nsfw but you can pick 🤭

It's been a while babes ❤️ remember when that's what this blog was lol

Fem!reader

Under 18s dni! NSFW under the cut.

All characters are aged up to mid 20s thx

Stan Marsh

Stan wouldn't praise you as much as you'd like.

He doesn't say much generally.

But when he's drunk. Good God.

You are a goddess to him.

Everything you do is amazing, omg stunning!

"you're soo pretty, y/n. 'm so lucky to ha ve you. Look at you. You do so mu-ch for me. I loove youu."

Whether sober or drunk he'll praise you in the bedroom

He's a pretty dominant guy but he has to make sure you know how perfect you are for him.

But it's so much more when he's drunk.

He will stop mid thrust to complement and praise you.

Will end in crying lol

"So perfect." He mumbled into your neck before going to kiss your lips. He stopped his movements to just admire your beauty. "I love you so much. You're so good to me... I don't deserve you." His lip trembles.

You need to praise him back bc bro is insecure!!

Kyle Broflovski

Kyle will praise you a nice amount I think

If he thinks you've done something well, like getting a job, promotion etc he'll genuinely praise you

"That's amazing! I knew you could do it!"

If it's something he doesn't think warrants praise, like getting groceries, cleaning, basically everyday things he won't say anything but thanks. Not that he doesn't appreciate it, he just thinks it's not a big deal.

If everyday things are something you struggle with he'll try praising you but it will be half-hearted.

I don't imagine Kyle being much of a talker during sex

I also imagine him getting quite flustered when you ask him to praise you while he's two fingers deep inside you

"I - uuuhh." His brain fizzles out. System overload as he looks into your desperate eyes. "P-praise you? H-how?" He asked. You thrust your hips to remind him to keep fingering you which kicks starts his brain back to work. "oh, uummm g-good girl. S-so precious aren't you." He burrows his face into the crook of your neck. "You feel so good around my fingers."

He'll get so embarrassed if you praise him. He's not used to it!

Kenny McCormick

Kenny showers you with praises

No matter what you've done he thinks you're amazing, he understands how difficult things can be and wants to shower you in love, complements and praises

But he's so cool and collected it's sexy

"great job, babe."

But will almost always end it with something sexual

"you deserve a reward, huh?"

In bed, he'll praise you constantly

He'll get you to praise yourself.

"you're such a good girl, aren't you? Tell me how good you are for me, baby." His words reverberate against your neck as he's 6 inches deep. Fucking you so hard that you can barely get the words out. "Come on pretty girl. Tell me how much you deserve this."

You can praise him but he'll praise you right back. So much. He'll give you butterflies.

Eric Cartman

Cartman isn't much of a praiser

If you cook him his favourite meal he'll be like "Meh"

The only time he would praise you is when he's bringing you back from subspace

"such a good girl." "You did so well." "Look how pretty you are covered in my cum."

Bro would have you begging to be praised.

"what? You think you deserve praise?" He takes hold of your jaw, forcing you to look at him. "Babe, you're only good when you're on your knees sucking my cock. If you're not doing that, what is there to praise?" His hand slides to the back of your head, pushing you down to his crotch. "You need to work for it, slut."

Nooo his ego is too big don't praise him!!!! He doesn't deserve it!

Will melt at being called a good boy.

[crimeronan]

Hang on. In the latest chapter, Luz is talking about Hunter's backstory &how Belos told him where he came from & she says she can't remember "which one it was for him." Is she talking about lies Belos told the other Grimwalkers??

BINGO. i am THRILLED that someone picked up on this.

what hunter Has been told is: his father was belos's brother. the brother and the rest of hunter's immediate family were killed, hunter was found in the aftermath, and belos took him in.

(i don't think i've ever established whether he was found in the woods or a house or a wrecked village. bc i'll never remember my own canon.)

when hunter found out that belos is human, he assumed his father must Also have been human. and that he himself must be half-human.

luz has let him think this.

hunter Suspects that parts of the story are bullshit, given what he now knows about how belos fabricates wild witch violence. he's not sure at All that his family actually Was killed. but he is certain that his dad is dead & the thought of tracking down his witch family makes him Incredibly Fucking Anxious, so he's. not pursuing it.

this AU's hunter would actually not be too badly shaken by the grimwalker revelation, bc he has WAY less emotionally tied up in belos. and he'd forgive luz for lying to him and understand why she did it.

however!!

it's easy to forget because the story (thus far, anyway) doesn't go into heavy detail -- but luz knows.... basically as much as belos did. about. all of the prior grimwalkers.

belos obfuscated the manner of their deaths to keep up his lies, but he was Extremely honest with her about everything else. like. everythiiing else.

like from a scientific perspective, luz knows all the components and how to put them together and how long to wait for them to incubate and whatnot, which is not That horrifying, it's basically just necromantic scavenger birds-and-the-bees.

but she also knows, like. how it's better to raise a child than form an adult because children have better temperaments. she has belos's notes on all the fucked-up early-psychology-style unethical experiments he did, & what the results were, & which of those results should ideally be repeated.

she has notes on what they were all told about who they are and where they come from, about whether it's better to be honest or to lie, and then when it's Clear that lying is better, about which lies are the most simple and effective.

she has his notes on the lifespans of all of the prior grimwalkers, including shit like child development, language acquisition, discipline, reward systems. his notes on personality and temperament and "illness," which is almost always just budding signs of independence/disobedience.

she has Everything he thought might be useful if she ever decided to create a companion of her own. including unnecessary information. bc he's a father passing down his legacy and wants her to know what he did.

like. it is GROSS. the things she knows are GROSS.

hunter being a grimwalker won't freak him out by itself. but she is fucking Terrified of him finding out that those notes exist. like hey, dude, i have concrete on-paper proof that Every Single Aspect of your personality and loyalty and love was premeditated to make you easier to control. proof that you can't actually trust any of your emotions or instincts because you're SUPPOSED to be non-autonomous. you love me and you chose me but did you actually?? you have never had any control over anything ever! okay bye 💕

like. that's a revelation that's either going to shake hunter to his core, which is fucking awful because he'll be upset and unmoored, OR it's going to have no impact on how he feels about luz/his life at all, which is fucking awful because it just feels like more proof that everything he does is coerced.

what a nightmare position to be in. Truly Unfortunate For Everyone...

[forgottenroderick]

OOC | Varmont Belief System Thoughts

sooooo im having some frankly insane ideas abt Roderick’s belief system thanks to the Phoenix iconography (like…boiled down roderick might legit worship death effectively a la the faceless men of braavos in asoiaf/got?!!?!! Though in a slightly more life/death ying/yang creation through destruction kinda way a la dark!motto ‘in my end is my beginning’ sorta way idk Sfjkhffg HELPPP!) and before I get too carried away bc idk if we need a death cult emperor 😂😭 ummmm I wondered if you had any thoughts abt the varmont faith/the one god/etc adhkkjgdgh

ok so!!! this all comes out of the symbolism of the phoenix married to the whole ~fire focus in both that and in...well, roderick's actions laksdjfkljsdf so here're some ideas i have which may or may not be any good klsdjfkalsdflkj

creation through destruction as repped by phoenix.

burning witches cleanses them, releasing their lifeforce out into the world clean and pure.

perhaps reincarnation a la phoenix or perhaps destruction and death creates new souls and life etc????

Phoenix flames, sun, light, fire — dichotomy of light/dark, good/evil — Astaira and the staffords literally take the night as their standard (three stars in the night sky) and worship demons, conquest cleanses etc

oooh maybe infuse Phoenix w Renaissance salamander motifs — immune to fire and poison etc

ok so mary queen of scotts, her motto (as mentioned above) was 'in my end is my beginning' by which she meant as a catholic that yknow she'd go to her reward in heaven etc but what if such a concept were present in like...a more ~ouroboros kinda way as represented by the phoenix

so the ouroboros is an ancient egyptian symbol of a serpent rounding on itself to eat its own tale, which representing basically...unity and the natural eternal cycle of destruction and re-creation

in ancient egypt, this meant...oof ok so not to get ~too bogged down in ancient egyptian spiritualism/philosophy which is its own huuuge topic needless to say hahahaha but they had two really bit concepts that i think could impact us here: the tension between chaos (bad) and order (good) w their god-emperor maintaining that balance and the belief that without him there to do that everything would collapse into deadly chaos AND that...in essence...the soul was split into parts, w basically like...life force which was also a familial essence being a part of the soul that recurred in the world, and personality being part that was ~just you that would go to its ultimate judgment after death

there is also the ancient saying 'death is the only god who comes when you call' right

so!!!! w the ouroboros and phoenix symbols being connected (cycles of life, death, rebirth), what if we basically connect cleaning fire w order (i know, i know!) bc...you can summon a fire, right, you can make that you can't really make earth yknow...so its ~controllable even tho we don't think abt it that way like...i swear this can work ;DDDDD as a cleansing, controllable, destructive force that gives birth to new life (after a forest fire new life bursts from the ashes in a way that it doesn't w say a flood or a drought yknow) and yeahhhh idk!!!!!!!

anyway lmk if this makes any sense/is any good as sort of a foundation for our one god religion??????? cause i feel like maybe this one is just...maybe one bridge too far? ;alskdjfkljdsf ;DDD

[coffincoitus]

I unironically feel like growing up as a girl who doesn't feel attraction to men kinda sets you apart from other women in the way you legit do not care about being the "prettier girl". there's no concept of "the pretty friend". you have not internalized a reward system for being the pretty friend bc male attention means jackshit. most times you wouldn't even notice male attention. you think every man is ugly and stupid

[toastsnaffler]

Would love to hear ur thoughts on Hades game sometime because I too loved but had beef with the game and I think we are the same ….

yessss, disclaimer I haven't played it for like 3 years and I only played 10 hours/got to the end once before I dropped it so i might be misremembering some things but I stick by my opinions! under the cut cuz this is long as fuck 🫣 my haterism has no limits

ok so basically my grievances w hades can be split into 2 main areas: gameplay + narrative, I'll break them down in that order.

firstly gameplay - roguelikes/lites are my fave genre so I was predominantly approaching hades from this angle + its failure here is the clincher for me.

I found the gameplay repetitive and stale. this isnt a criticism of its permadeath like ive seen some ppl make - I usually relish repetition/grind especially in permadeath-based games bc I find tactical challenge fun + love the learning curve, its soooo rewarding. but hades is ultimately just a glorified button masher. mob/boss movesets are boring + unoriginal, and can generally all be fought the same way. trying to do otherwise drags out fights; it actively discourages emergent gameplay so theres little variance WITHIN runs. the pool of rooms for procedural generation is far too small so theres little variance BETWEEN runs. there's no real challenge to combat, difficulty is mainly increased by heightened mob tankiness as you get further in a run. movement/combat doesn't flow well, its mechanically very weak, relying heavily on its permanent upgrade system instead of developing skill in the way you approach the game. all the weapons feel clunky and don't really offer any unique challenge/benefit so theres virtually no point switching between them and the grind to unlock them all is so pointless… god there are just SOOO many hack n slash crawlers that keep it fresh even for hundreds of hours and hades fails miserably at keeping it fresh for even 5 measly hours :^/

I didnt like the boon system either - its far too simplistic + shallow. its fine to rely on chance, this is part of the random generation, and I think it had a lot of potential in that it was a good way of combining aesthetic w gameplay itself. but this is pretty much the only form of resource management - and theres barely any management to it! theres no reward for exploring different builds, they dont really synergise BETWEEN gods in interesting or useful ways, so the game encourages you to just stick with one god throughout, and biases random generation towards boons youve already collected. part of the fun for me is learning HOW to design a build, and working with the randomiser to play flexibly, but hades just isnt interested in that at all...

also - I don't like the permanent upgrade system, I think this detracts from it as a rogue. every time you should be starting on square 1 - maybe you pick up health upgrades etc throughout each run, and maybe you unlock new weapons etc for the random generation pool, or purely cosmetic upgrades, but the point of permadeath is that it RESETS! zags base health + dmg should be the same 50 hours into the game as when u first open it. make a different genre of game if u dont wanna do that lol. I also think IF youre going to say fuck it and add a permanent upgrade system, you should also add unlockable permanent biome shortcuts bc ur just making it boring as fuck to have to waste time grinding thru earlier biomes with unskippable combat once youre op for them.

I GET that they did this to make the game more accessible* to players who dont typically enjoy rogues, but it just makes it really disappointing for those of us who DO love rogues, and it always feels cheap to me when games are like "well of you want challenge then set the difficulty yourself with these modifiers 🙄" like just make the base difficulty TOUGH up front and then add an easy/story mode and accessibility features* for players who don't want the challenge.. if you're gonna call yourself a rogue the gameplay should be the PRIORITY not a throwaway option

one of my biggest peeves with hades is how people now laud it as one of the best rogues - whenever I mention I like the genre I almost always get asked "oh, like hades?" and it pisses me off so much… its a rogueLITE not roguelike, ie. it has rogue ELEMENTS but its not a true one and imo, it does a pretty shit job implementing them! I would have a lot less resentment towards it if it wasnt marketed as the forefront of the rogue genre - frankly its a very basic rogue with very mid gameplay, its characters/design are by FAR its strong point and it should be sold as such. its misleading and makes me sad that this is what most people think of when they hear rogue :-(

*(side note - accessibility in this game is another major flaw. theres really no excuse for a game as popular as this to be so lacking in accessibility options. allow people to bind keys together or use coloured outlines or have colourblindness settings or alter font/text size etc - its not that hard! dead cells did a great job of this lol)

anyway... moving onto my second criticism - narratively, its also unsatisfying.

the hades plot is, loosely, about a cycle of abuse, so the 2 natural directions to go in with this are either: #1: escaping the cycle, or #2: continuing it forever.

#2 is the easiest to do with a rogue format - bc of permadeath the game is already cyclical, so all you have to do is create an ending which loops perfectly back to the start (smth like 'its impossible to truly defeat/reconcile with his father so even after zag beats him, hades drags him back to the start again). obviously this is a miserable story to tell, but tbh I think it wouldve been interesting + fitting - so much of greek mythos is about cycles and the unchanging nature of the gods, and they LOVED eternal cyclical punishments. plus theres smth rly tragic about zag gradually helping everyone else while no one else can save him from his family LOL

#1 is a bit harder to do - this is the story they WANTED to tell but I just don't think it worked… the driving force plot-wise is his desperation to escape. realistically for this to happen the game needs to be finite, which it can't be due to its rogue nature - somehow you have to end up at the very start again. the main solutions I can think of for this are:

a) after the final boss, insert some time travel shenanigans (easy to fit into the worldbuilding using a character like kronos) and all of zags progress with hades is unspooled. this can be completely out of his control, or it could be a choice the player makes (to end the game here or choose to go back and relive zags past in order to progress npc questlines). eg. what happens in dead cells. again, tragic but it makes more sense to me

-or b) bite the bullet and give the game a completely finite ending after beating hades. if players want to go back and play more to complete other npc questlines, they pick up play from before they beat hades. this isnt explained "narratively" bc the plot is already concluded and now theyre just playing for fun (eg. what going under does)

I also think for a character-focused story-rich game, roguelite was a really terrible choice of genre as it locks every interaction behind pure chance and hours of grinding - just really baffling why they decided to do this, especially when theyve had such success previously making games within different genres (transistor, bastion, pyre). the core of the issue for me is that the devs wanted to create a game that was both story rich AND a rogue - and these things arent mutually exclusive, but the best features of each contradict each other when you try to balance them in a way to appease their respective fans (ie. the challenge/complexity of the gameplay is heavily restricted by keeping it easy for ppl unfamiliar with rogues to pick up, but the strength of the narrative arc is simultaneously weakened by the fact that as a rogue it has to be perpetual bc of permadeath + you're working with procedural generation…)

I'm not going to beef with the artstyle or music bc I rly loved them both (even if I wish the body diversity was better!), or with the interpretations of greek gods bc literally every piece of media abt greek mythos has to decide how to interpret them and I think its silly to be like "this isnt CANON" - since we actually dont HAVE a strict "canon" for many of these stories bc theyve been retold/translated in so many conflicting ways lol. I've just heard ppl complaining abt that and I dont think its worth complaining about 🤷‍♀️

ANYWAY tl;dr: hades should've been an action-heavy isometric metroidvania… it wouldve made it far easier to focus on character questlines (ie. with respawn points + a fixed map), unified the story they wanted to tell with the gameplay SO much more effectively, and allowed them to reach the full potential of both, whilst also playing up to supergiant's previous game-making strengths. but thats my 2 cents!

[essentialthyme]

[Outer Wilds SPOILERS!]

In the very first loop, I figured out that the sun was dying. I went to the museum, saw the model and was reminded exactly of what a supernova is. 22 minutes later the sun explodes. I was like "oh... fuck" and I knew there was no "saving the solar system" so I didn't get the experience some people got when they went to Sun Station. It was actually disappointing, to finally get there only for the reward to be knowledge I already had. No realization dread. No just sitting there and waiting for the inevitable.

BUT!

Well, I HATE Ms. Dark Bramble. I hate her and her little monsters, they have no right to be that terrifying. I went there for the first time because I really wanted to meet Feldspar, and after a shit ton of suffering I made it, did what I had to do, restarted to loop and said "I ain't going back there, thank you" like a fucking IDIOT because of COURSE there's more to be done there. But I could do it later. Like, at the end of the game. Probably.

So I do everything I can think of, all my logs cleared except for the Vessel. Having done the math, I knew what I had to do. I had coordinates + a core I could use to power up... sigh. I decide to face my nightmare without retrieving the core from the ATP bc Ms. Bramble HATES me, and there's a 100% chance I will die. I do die. I get some practice. I reach the escape pod. I reach the seed, the tomb. I nearly cry, because I fucking love the Nomai and I really wanted them to make it, but they met their end long, long ago, and yet it doesn't get easier to me, seeing it.

I die some more, I reach the Vessel.

I read the first panel: It was all avoidable. That's a conversation for another time. Like, I have so much to say about it, it's insane. But we're on a timer.

I read the second panel.

Nomai talking about the dying stars, about the end of the universe. Talking about meeting up, somewhere that has the potential to be safe.

I don't think anything in the game could beat the feeling I got while I read that panel, slowly realizing that this conversation is RECENT. These Nomai might very well be alive! Right now! After exploring all of their lost civilization, their doomed history in this solar system. After meeting Solanum. I don't know.

After hours of playing a game where all my experiences where laced with grief, a tiny spark of hope.

I still have, at the very least, one more loop to go.

Even though I really want to, I know I can't save anyone. None of the Travelers, none of the Hearthians. I can't save Solanum. I don't know if the Nomai are really alive, or if it's just wishful thinking. Even if they are, I probably won't meet them. I won't get to talk to them and tell the stories about their brave ancestors, of their recklessness, of their genius, of their wonder.

All I have are the coordinates to the Eye.

And I owe it to those who came before me, the Nomai, the Hearthians, the people who played this game before I I did, to go and see it for myself.

I hope it's worth it.

[mobiused]

you didn't even mention this in your post, but to me personally, what has asserted my trust (not blind tho!) on ctd over modhaus is definetely how the two companies handle diets

like i will NOT forget how haseul had to do exercise (2 times in a day if i recall??) right after she ate a cup of noodles or whatever it was; and how on the other hand, we see ctd staff actively encouraging yeojin to eat (and tangently at least 3 loossemble assemble episodes in which the girls were given free rein to cook and eat... yeojin doesn't make as many depreceative comments about food now. hyeju mentions constantly how she exercises but eats healthly, and the other day gowon was talking about eating sugar frequently for energy (well. watermelon is mostly water but the intent is. there.) even though they have a cb right around the corner..... (this gowon comment was particularly rewarding i think. sugar is usually seen as the devil for diets and thinness, and seeing a member aware of its actual biological function....i liked that)

thought of this as i was writing but i also cannot ignore the white washing. like, on one hand we have ctd being "yeah whatevs girl!" to hyeju tanning, on the other modhaus editing artms pics *like that* uhm....

and another thing bc i've seen too many ouriis just going "well go ahead and unstan, you have looble and chuu and yves" when orbits rightly critisized the voting system.... the voting system is actually.... fine? it's the way it's handled that is wrong. the girls should be aware of what polls are happening, and what is being voted on at all times. hell, they should be the ones making the polls, because they'd handle it in a way we would KNOW that they'd be happy with the results regardless, and the poll would act only as a way to generate a bit of entropy and get a feel on how the fandom (well. the paying and with nfts part of the fandom) feels about concepts, music, etc....

sorry this grew a tad long.....i think i'm done. sorry for the spelling mistakes.....

nono is okay honestly speak on it I totally agree with most of this

[tired-reader-writer]

Team Zahhak lair recerence. Very spooky— are those fetuses?

This panel makes my brain go brr bc yes this humanizes Hilmes but also there's a lot of factors contributing to that impression even outside of the dialogue— the panel is relatively small, giving off a vulnerable, subdued feel. His eyes (which often come across as inhuman or burning with an unearthly flame) are not shown, his expression is milder here than before, and the actual dialogue bubbles are also small to give a vibe different from usual: he is not the intense, terrifying man he usually is, he's a grieving person who feels responsible for Kharlan's family after what he's done for him. The result combined with the actual text of the dialogue conveys Hilmes' humanity even before we learn of his backstory. Good. Job.

Also, show us Kharlan's wife, Arakawa. Where is she.

He leaves, and his expression is difficult to see and he's shrouded in shadows. I wonder how he dealt with this loss when he gets truly alone. Does he keep thinking of Kharlan, replaying memories? Imagining an unusually quiet and subdued Hilmes all alone in a big room :(

Before, I used to wonder why the fuck Hilmes was rewarding Team Zahhak with gold of all things— I theorized on whether perhaps precious metals or the like could have a fueling effect on magic but turns out I was overthinking it. It's not bc money is somehow useful to Team Zahhak, no, it's because Hilmes does not understand Team Zahhak and what they're striving for. This scene was meant to convey that they definitely got their thing going on and are likely using Hilmes, and Hilmes is in the dark about a lot of things, including their intentions, going by how the Master dismissively flicks a coin away. It holds no meaning to him, it has no worth.

I kinda feel like a fool, lol.

So slaves are not meant to be seen on the main streets? I guess they have their own dedicated pathways? Or is this a Lusitanian invention? Hmm.

Not screencapped but the anklets make an appearance again!

Palace refs! This reminds me of the water garden in Otoyomegatari (which I screencapped in this post) which makes sense considering they're both drawn from the same cultural inspiration.

Yikes.

It should be that confessions brought forth by torture should not be trusted bc humans will just say whatever they think their tormenters want them to say just to make the torture end, it's not about obtaining accurate info or confessions at all, has never been. It's about the captors exerting their power over the captive, and it's disgusting.

The same principle applies here. People aren't converting out of genuine faith, they're converting as part of self-preservation. And while I'm not sure Bodin is consciously aware of it or not but it's clear that he just likes flaunting his power over the defenseless rather than wishing to make people see the true glory of Yaldabaoth or whatever.

God I hate this guy.

This must be the royal archives!

The burning of books still boils my blood, it's abhorrent. And Bodin even threw a fellow Lusitanian into the fire just because he suggested a sensible thing of, y'know, not setting these tomes on fire willy-nilly.

It's okay, it's okay, chapter 121 is there for us. It's okay. But god I hate this man.

Foreshadowing! :D Rereading Bodin's atrocities gave me even more satisfaction for chapter 121.

I don't really have anything interesting to say about this, just putting it here bc I find it neat.

This is the first we hear of Narsus freeing his household slaves— when we're first introduced to him we only learn that he's a master tactician who pissed off the royal court and left, and though we already had a favorable impression of him (and his anti-slavery sentiments are already apparent) this sheds a newer light on his character.

It is not enough to just flip an old system over like a table and say “there, done, everything's fine and dandy now!”, it doesn't work that way. It is not enough to have an uprising or a revolution or whatever, it is even more important to have a clear vision of what comes after and how to achieve it. Good ruling isn't about winning battles it's about competent administration and resource distribution and all that jazz. It is not enough to just destroy, you must create as well.

The slaves in Ecbatana did not have the means to act on their (supposed) freedom because they hadn't planned for it, they don't have the means to, all they could do was the uprising without the follow-up and... I do not blame them, they didn't know any better, but this just shows how important these sorts of things is.

This also sheds a light on Hilmes because... he doesn't have a vision for Pars' future beyond him ruling it. That is not enough.

And look at Daryun looking concerned for Narsus!

[lemonhemlock]

Thoughts on rhaencient?

and

Thoughts on rhaencient

and

What are ur thoughts on rhaenyra and alicents relationship?

i hear your grievances and i have come to address them!

what can i say, anons. this was one of the changes i really liked from the books. by making alicent rhaenyra's age, they removed the frankly overdone evil stepmother trope. or, rather, by making them childhood companions, they subverted it in an unexpected way. it's really "shut up or i'll fuck ur dad" only with extra layers of tragedy.

i thought their dynamic was really well done actually? i loved how they were framed. alicent helping rhaenyra dress before her ceremonial investiture. the twin faces of sorrow when viserys announces he will marry alicent in the small council room. the deleted scenes of rhaenyra helping alicent in her wedding dress. the hand-holding after the tapestries farce! the "alicent, your grace, sister"!!!! i was obsessed with THE GIRLS in the first half of the show!

i've noticed that the gay subtext really flies over a lot of people's heads & i think it's bc it's more socially-acceptable for girls to display physical affection towards each other than it is for men. so it's easier for viewers to resort to the traditional reading that "they're just gal pals". i was v disappointed with some male asoiaf reviewers i've watched since so many elements that had to do with womanhood were completely invisible to them. it was so jarring. but there was this permeating sense of YEARNING and melancholic tension that emanated out of these two, like you could sense they were meant to be soulmates

i think it's fair to say that rhaenyra is probably a bisexual woman (esp if we also take into account her dalliance with laena in the books), as she seems to also be very comfortable within relationships with men. but, for alicent, i don't really think she knows what she is. that exploration of self was denied to her and her feelings for rhaenyra were misdirected the moment she was forced to have children & fear for their lives. there's also this little-discussed facet of alicent as a queer woman shoved inside a very traditional female matronly role from a very early age. coerced into having old man sex with her decaying husband, impregnated against her will, just very generally developing a noxious relationship with sex. whereas rhaenyra is afforded the opportunity of reveling in romantic love and inhabits the role of motherhood from a much calmer, more balanced perspective

i've already spoken about the symbolism of The Page in the final third of this post, but alicent & rhaenyra are such representatives of their houses' respective ideologies: soft power & diplomacy vs conquest & claiming. alicent wants to tame rhaenyra. rhaenyra wants to ravish alicent. they could have MAYBE balanced each other out in a utopic world where they would have just been allowed to BE & it's so jarring to see how they're torn apart by gross old men who barter with women's bodies and convince themselves they are doing what's right for them & their families. but ofc it's also The System TM as a whole at fault here. no one wins, no one is happy, no one is safe under patriarchal feudalism.

the breakdown of their relationship doesn't happen overnight, it's a ruin dismantled brick by brick by them, their fathers, the society that has no place for them to explore their bond, the bankruptcy of empathy, the failure of trust, but still they cling onto each other whenever they are rewarded a moment of respite!

[2af-afterdark]

I'm in the VERY VERY vocal minority about this but tbh I'm kinda glad that the angel units are behind paywals. Bc their stories are really dicey and I am NOT strong enough for the discourse that would come out of that. Like, I understand this whole ordeal was handled terribly but I'm just trying to look for silver linings at this point.

Also I doubt pb will learn their lesson. They got their money already and this announcement was just salt in the wound. I wasn't surprised that the angel units wouldn't be added to the main gacha. Plus they only seem to work well with other angel units so putting them in the main gacha would dilute it further. Though I guess since a lot of people are saying they're Uninstalling so maybe they'll see it plus their emails are probably getting blown up.

All in all. It's disappointing but unsurprising. I at least wished they'd just given us S rank Gabe as part of the challenge since he's technically in the game. But as soon as I saw that it was L rank I knew they wouldn't give it out for free.

Sorry for rambling. I'm just holding out for the main story at this point.

Okaay so, maybe I'm not communicating this well but... having limited time cards is not the issue for me. The issue is how trash PB's communication is and how predatory and money-hungry they are being. They should have said in the announcements that the angels would be limited time and not added to the pool. I get certain cards being only for a limited time (that's what most gacha do). The issue was that they said nothing until later, which establishes that they can and will change the rules whenever they feel like it without warning. It doesn't have to do with if the units are good or bad. They could literally be the worst units in the game and I would still be upset because of what they are communicating to the players; that we are not worth keeping informed.

I admit that I am not happy they are paywalled, but that's because I'm never happy when cards (a huge bulk of the gameplay for a gacha) are completely paywalled. I find it gross and predatory. Also, it may sound heartless of me, but this game has so many problematic elements that if people get spicy over the content with the angels... I don't know what to say? The game is very open about what it is. It has many dub/noncon elements, intense kinks (two of them are literally decapitation and necrophilia), violence, etc. If the angels are the thing that starts the discourse, I will have to wonder who ignored all the other similar shit without saying something. If the cards are going to start discourse, they will do that regardless of the paywall. But, again, idk why they would when anyone walking into this game should already be aware of what it is.

And, no, I don't expect them to learn their lesson. The only way they would learn anything is if it hits them in the paycheck. The fact that people pay for Solomon Seals continues to encourage PB to use Solomon Seals to earn money. Unless the whales stop spending money on these practices, PB will keep using them (they why I don't, even though i am one person and my resolve means little in the grand scheme). Unless the sudden evacuation of players are whales (who seem to be the only ones PB cares about at this point), I doubt the company will notice.

Gabriel though, does genuinely upset me. Like I said in a previous response, battle pass systems like this tend to have free rewards and paid rewards. The rewards are usually the same but the free path gives out the main reward much later (think earning the card at level 200 for a free path versus earning it at level 120 for the paid path). This is usually fine because, though difficult, both paid and free players can earn the final reward. It's a small way of rewarding players for, you know, playing the game. This is especially true because battle passes require frequent log-ins and active participation. But Gabriel, the ultimate reward for the battle pass, can only be acquired after doing all that work plus spending $60. I find that gross.

I'm a whale. I do spend money on this game, but I am careful about how I spend that money. I pay for the daily log-in bonuses (the extra AP and keys). I have bought several event packs. I own every sticker pack. Basically, the only thing I don't do is pay for Solomon Seals. I simply want PB to not alienate a huge chunk of the players just because they can't, won't, or don't want to shell out money. It's about the principle of the matter to me.

As for S-rank Gabriel... He's okay. He's a good unit in battle, but he comes with no intimacy (so no comic, info, etc). Also, my guess is that they wouldn't add him to the general pool afterward either. After all, Minhyeok wasn't added after he left. Plus, my guess is they don't want to do that since they plan to release more packs, including those that sell Gabriel. Less incentive to buy his pack if you can just earn him in the general pool.

[circumlocutive]

My Adderall is hitting and I just wanna shit this text post out before I start work.

I don't think there's a practical point to this kind of navel gazing at this stage in my life, and really it's more of a symptom of an issue in psychiatry with labeling phenotypic categories that don't have much correlation to biochemical mechanisms. But. I do still wonder about whether my avolition and related executive dysfunction/motivation crisis is " better " characterized as a CPTSD thing than an ADHD thing. And whether that should play a role in my expectations for functioning.

Like functionally I'm still going to treat my symptoms the same either way (it doesn't respond to CBT, DBT, or a few diff antidepressants, but does respond adequately [if inconsistently] to stimulants), so from a pragmatic angle fussing over which label is better is not useful to me. It's mostly identity wanking - unless the labels can implicate something actionable, all they really seem to do is saddle you with their sociocultural baggage.

I'd say I have evidence suggesting a genetic predisposition to ADHD traits (which I generally conceptualize based on handling in the broader psych literature as an innate/biological/"nature" [as in nature vs nurture] based thing, like the impairments are there whether or not the environment is good or bad though of course environment influences the final result). My dad is very ADHD and was long before he was a combat veteran if you listen to stories from his family, my dad was adopted bc he had a teen mom so highly likely she had something up too, and my brother is so textbook autism (and autism and ADHD genes run around skipping hand in hand) (stimulant side note these are not definitive scientific correlations I'm making here, autism looking presentation could be related to my brother being abused too and having far less social support, could be related to my mother's psychotic lineage [autism and schizo/bipolar/psychotic spec genes also run around skipping hand in hand], could be a lot of shit).

On the other hand, it is so obvious I have CPTSD (which I conceptualize as a nurture based, acquired dysfunction that does also alter your "nature" in the sense it affects your genetic expression. But while trauma will change your innate biochemical settings, I see the biggest distinction from ADHD in that cptsd wouldn't manifest without external initiation). In the narrative of my life, my current difficulty with motivation makes more sense as. Well. Something to do with living in constant fear for my life in my developmental period. How can I find anything as compelling or salient as preserving my life against a direct, explicit, and omnipresent threat. How am I supposed to give a fuck about tasks if no one is breaking plates over my head about them or depriving me of food and shelter. My whole risk reward system calibration is fuuuucked.

Realistically, I have issues with emotional regulation/motivation/self care because of the combination. I probably do have congenital neurological differences inherited from my parents, and then the extreme circumstances of my youth made for maladaptive neurological conditioning (think in the firing/electrical circuitry) + hormonal release + epigenetic changes + downstream effects that further stunted my prefrontal cortex and amygdala and striatum and whatever structures associated with emotion and reward. Some of the conditioning may be reversible with therapy/safe life experiences but the baseline performance won't be adjusted without biochemical intervention. Maybe that should play a role in setting my expectations for my performance and "improvement" over time.

Idk I have more feelings about labels and the ways they change our perception of the bio phenomena underlying "mental illness" and the self, but I need to do work instead of wasting hours getting the words out and refining them

[biostris]

I was wondering if you could do some headcanons about King Dice x Depressed!Reader? How he reacts to their slumping around, mood swings, inability to focus, overall inexplicable sadness, etc.

A/N: honestly I think this might be the easiest fic for me to write bc my doctors all point to me and say "depressed" but I didn't take my meds and now i actually feel like i need them. Anyways sorry if this ends up being short! my mind is a bit on the fuzzy side :P

:King Dice x Depressed!Reader:

Where do i even begin, ive stated multiple times that KD is usually a very busy man, or at least likes to keep himself busy. So he doesn't really pick up until the Devil laid him off.

It started with noting your mood swings, they weren't like your usual ones, they were more intense than usual, to the point where small things made you crumble and break down to a silently crying mess.

Next came you mind fog, even if you were both out doing something you typically enjoyed, you mentally stopped being there for hours on end. At this point in time he began to keep a closer eye on you.

He did everything in his power but he couldn't figure out why his baby doll, his sugar, was always so sad and upset. He hated that you were in bed for days on end and struggled with simple tasks.

Eventually one day when you were having an ok day, he finally convinced you to see someone.

First it was the doctor, he sat outside as you took the little depression quiz they give you as you wait as to not sway your answers so you could lie and say ‘im fine’ once again.

The doctor prescribed you some anti-depressants, at first you didn't want to take them, especially with a past experience o it making your heart beat so fast it freaked you out. But with KD’s gentle encouragement you began to take the starter dosage.

“Im not gonna let anything bad happen to ya Baby doll.”

The med’s helped slightly, and it was trial and error when it came to certain brands, but when you found one that you could take along side therapy things did get slightly better.

Soon you found yourself able to start doing small things, such as brushing your teeth at least once a day, etc.

KD didnt want to treat you like a child, especially with the stigma around mental health, but if you do better with a reward system then by golly he’s gonna set one up for you.

Every two weeks if you’ve taken your meds he takes you out for dinner, or shopping, or maybe you guys just stay in. It’s all up to what you wanna do!

He helps you alot with chores, especially on those days you struggle even with medication, havin a hard time brushing your hair? Dice is on the case with a brush and other things! Need help with your room? no need to worry Honey KD is on his way to help you tidy!

No matter how busy he is, he will always find away to help his baby doll.

[vacantgodling]

I'm sorry but did I miss something ?? Noble ?? Hello 👀👀

OOOO NOBLE MY BELOVED

so i've actually had noble as a story for a LONG time. a long long time. however i've been extremely intimidated to write it and plan it out because scifi isn't really my... forte? i feel like it should be easy to make a scifi or a space opera but my brain just gets caught up in all the details and i never end up moving forward with them HAHA. but i'm trying to get out of that because writing is supposed to be FUN.

anyway tho, onto noble. just gonna stick this under a cut bc its LONG to ramble and spoilers or whatever bc i never have an excuse to talk about this story and ahhhh i love my son

firstly its called noble because (1) its a story about fuck the government and doing whats right and (2) its a play on noh's name, which is literally pronounced 'noble' (for the most part) when you put it all together.

in this universe earth has kind of been fucked; no one is really born on earth anymore bc the planet has gone to shit and the radiation is so bad and people who still live on the planet are usually sent there as prisoners (so earth is space australia but literally) or they're unlucky enough to be born there. noh was born on earth (though he doesn't remember this) however, he was taken in by the overarching... uh idk space police state government thing. i haven't thought about what it is too much lmao. anyway, babies are usually taken from earth if they have a good aptitude (aka they survived lmao) and since they're abandoned anyway they're indited into our FAVORITE super soldier program.

this program is called JACK and JILL.

the jack and jill program is an elite super soldier police force program where jacks are the brains and jills are the brawn. they go around enforcing laws, doing drug busts, keeping the "peace" around the galaxy etc etc. however, they always go in pairs just like the nursery rhyme jack and jill, and most jacks and jills are trained together from infancy to make sure that they're 100% in sync.

again, this is all shit noh doesn't remember, but he used to be a JILL. his JACK was a woman named amelia rottney. however something happened and he, amelia and some of their other companions (two other jack & jill units comprised of ethan summers (the jack) and iodine mary evelyn (the jill) and neso/neon (so technically speaking and i have to do more research into this to make sure that i am portraying this correctly but neso/neon are a DID system, but bc both the alter (neon) and the host (neso) operate together p well for the most part, they're the only "solo bodied" jack/jill unit. also speaking of representation, noh is mute! he mainly communicates with sign language but he does have implants; which got fucked up when he was first initially found but he eventually gets new ones but this is off topic).

but they all discovered some fucked up shit about the government and wanted to bring it to light obvs (i mean the fact that none of them knew that they were all p much stolen orphans is Bad Probably) however the government got to them first and sought to eliminate them. they all scattered p much, but noh p much sacrificed himself to let the others escape so they tortured him and erased his memory and then left him adrift in space to die. however in like a weird ass ploy to keep power they basically painted noh & co as terrorists that were trying to disrupt the peace of the cosmos, so they offered a reward/bounty for noh & co dead or alive-even though they knew they set him adrift and for all intents and purposes the government isn't looking for him he's dead.

until he's yknow. not dead. since yknow. he was found by a cargo vessel adrift and was able to be saved. tm.

so the whole story is kind of noh being on the run/trying to stay on the DL while he tries to figure out what in the sam hell is going on and then eventually reuniting with his friends and fucking this government up the ass in a bad way.

he also ends up befriending and eventually getting into a relationship with a space pirate rouge thing (i have so much worldbuilding to do its not even funny lmaooooo) named emerion jackson and idk i love their relationship a lot i rotate them in my head LMAO.

but yeah so that's the Extended Cut of what noble is about, maybe i will make this into a coherent wip intro one day LMAOOOO