#is it a rewards system bc it doesn't feel like it

[the---hermit]

Lately my internal dialogue has just been my compromising with myself as if i were a little kid, like if we do this and this we can skip class on wednesday

[cursedzucchini]

You know what? Fuck it

DC x DP prompt #3

I think at least lmao.

Anyway! Jason starts making videos on YouTube for one reason or another (is really stressed, no one listens to his rants Abt books who cares). His content is mostly bad books he read or really really really long rants Abt pride and prejudice. Like 3 hours on one tiny detail he noticed on his 214th read through.

He's kinda popular, mostly bc his terrible books videos. He talks Abt the ones that made him the most mad, which coincidentally are mostly romance and supernatural. Like he's one of the well known figures in the supernatural romance critique group (whcih is pretty small, but well). (Also he doesn't show his face on camera, bc secret identity and stuff, it's just his voice over a video of something mundane, like the sky or a room in which is a fly or something)

And now this can go two ways, that i can think of (w dead on main in mind at least)

1) one day Jason finds a book which is supernatural romance and is actually good. It has a kidna cliche system for the supernatural stuff, but with a refreshing twist. The characters have depts and flaws, yet are still very likable. The plot is actually interesting and overall the story's theme is death, not belonging anywhere and overall stuff that is very close to Jason's heart. The story doesn't shy away from violence and it is suprisingly accurate.

(I'm.gonna reblog this w pretty long idea of what this book could be Abt, bc i don't wanna annoy ppl lol)

Anyway Jason kinda falls in love w it, and it becomes famous for being the first novel Jason rated positively or something.

Meanwhile Danny, who was told by jazz writing is good way to get his feeling out, and just wanted to make a quick buck, is really fucking confused how tf did his book become so popular and who tf is this nerd who rates books for a living.

(basically big fan Jason and suspicious/awkward Danny lmao)

2) there is a famous series on Jason profile. It's the worst fucking series he ever read and it's just fucking awful. All the characters are fucking terrible, always going on and on about one thing, the romance sucks in a way that isnt even funny. Jason would love to believe some wrote this as a joke, if it wasn't for the absolute cringefest this was, and it wasn't a whole ass series!! Like who writes 12 books for a joke?

Danny ducking Fenton that's who. Dude was so ducking annoyed at his rogues, he threatened them w writing a terrible romance novels abt them. The ghosts, knowing his terrible grade in literature backed off for a moment, before someone crossed the line. And write Danny did. It was the worst thing he had ever written, the love interest was perfect caricature yet still faithfully go the original. And Danny, because fuck them he lost sommuch sleep over that one prank, decided to publish it. (The book was pretty thin so it didn't take that much time writing it). Unfortunately it became immensely popular in the infinite realm. So the ghosts started crossing lines on purpose. Before Danny figured it out, he had already published his fifth book and was writing another three. After some bargaining, getting a book written Abt them as a piece of shit love interest became a reward.

And while yeah, he had to say his writing was terrible and the books sucked, some small part of him was kinda proud y'know? Like a mother of her twelve ugly as fuck toddlers.

So when he saw some nerd on the internet not only shit talk his book, but also get money of it?

Danny decided to haunt him (just like his books did him, now that everyone knew Abt them thanks to this guy)

(enemies (sorta it's not that serious tho) to lovers ala terrible writer Danny who hates his books and kinda famous YouTuber hasn't who also hates Danny's books)

--

Fuck this is way too long wtf. Anyway imma reblog this w 1) book idea. Might add whatever i think the twelve books could be Abt. Pls if u want to add anything to this pls do!!

[ladyloveandjustice]

I want to expand on what I'm talking about. And I said a little bit extra in the comments:

There's just some posts that have been going around about how to solve the issue of men swinging real right in America right now,which does have an impact on society. some guy was saying he was attacted to the right bc they were all 'welcome brother' but in the left people resent him. I think it's just. It's easier to go to an idealogy that's like 'you're entitled to this' than an idealogy that says 'hey you're not entitled to everything but you could be more emotionally healthy and kinder to other people and". That's something simply being nice or making them feel good won't ever fully fix. The "rewards" for being in the right will always feel more immediate for white men.

It's not unique to men to feel alienated in an idealogy that wants you to challenge yourself. At the same time, more kindness to everyone, emphasis on acceptance, less volatile language toward each other, will help the community be stronger over all. it is a difficult conundrum, but I don't think it comes down to 'we don't make men feel special enough

It also ignores I think, that white men DO get rewarded in leftist spaces too. a lot. Men will get a ton of adoration for saying something vaguely feminist than if a woman says it a lot of the time, and so on a so forth, everyone loves a sweet guy...I think that's something that already happens.

But let's get back to volatile language:

We always say guilt isn't going to help anyone and it isn't about guilt. But I think we need to admit that no, we do try to make people feel guilty and ashamed a lot. And not framing it around that most of the time would do a lot.

I've seen posts straight up saying it's a bad thing to want to survive and live happy lives and take actions to do this because (x) bad thing is happening. You know, the most basic human instinct? And that's not going to win over people. You may not like that, but it's not.

I don't think that needs to center on women helping men feel special about themselves. A lot of us are asked to take care of men all the time and it's exhausting. Men on the left can focus on being more positive about the concept of manhood if they want, but asking women to do the work. is just....yeah that's just the patriarchy.

I do think examining things like black masculinity etc is great though. If you have another marginalized identity, it will intertwine with masculinity in very specific ways that will be used against you, just as it is with femininity or being outside both those concepts (yet the world assigns you one anyway). I totally get that masculinity is used as a weapon against both gay men and gay women, in different specific ways. And I think at least learning about that and supporting efforts to stop this makes one a better person.

On the other hand. it would be insane of me to ask a Black woman to make a Black man feel special and accepted for simply being a man if she doesn't want to do that. Like. absolutely wild.

And it's it's rarely about that, is it? When we say "celebrate men" it's not bringing any unique experience into it. It's about white men. They're the ones who make up most of the alt-right.

Communities in the right are not compassionate but because they offer some form of reward and companionship they can seem like that. As much as people are lured in by "welcome brother" or whatever, those same people will on the right will mock any person who steps outside the strict roles that have been set.

So....we need to abolish to same roles. I think we need to focus on how we talk to people. On supporting people when they're trying.

It also comes off in how we talk to each other about basically I can harshly tell someone who has privilege over me-- a white man or straight person ect ect-- their guilt about their privilege does nothing, I'm not interested in guilt and what we need is action. But let's be real. Telling someone "you benefit from a system that makes other people suffer" is going to make someone feel guilty. And yelling at someone for feeling guilty isn't going to make that better. I think we avoid saying the truth and say what's the core of it-- no, it's not your fault you were born a certain way and now you benefit from something. A society hundreds of years in the making made that happen. And that sucks, that you basically have no choice but to be complicit. And it sucks way, way more for the people who are kept down by that system. So we need to change society. We can do it together. It's not to "make up" for you existing. It's because we care about each other. I want this for all of us, because when we see each other as whole people and are treated equally, it benefits all of us.

This is a not a "men are uniquely punished by the left for being men, we need to celebrate masculinity, stop being so mean" thing. It's a human thing. It's about the way we talk to each other and try to weild guilt towards people in general. People want to feel good about themselves. They want some kind of acceptance. If you're constantly made to feel bad, it can be hard to want to stay. This is something everyone feels, because we all have a selfish instinct.

People don't like feeling guilty. That's just how people are. It's promoting compassion, rather than hatred and resentment, that's going to help us in the end.

But me simply saying that isn't going to change much. Humans feel hurt and lash out too. When horrible things are happening to us, we resent people that don't understand that or are part of that. The paradigm shift will be hard. Not everyone will be able to do it and I don't think that's wrong.

Everyone gets frustrated by a class of people where a lot of them have more power and try to push them down. Nobody wants to talk to someone that's trying to hurt them.

That's why it needs to be someone like me who could explain racism 101 rather than idk. making a person of color say 'well white people don't feel special and accepted for being white. poc we must be nicer. let's celebrate whiteness because the right does and that's why white people are drawn to it, they feel accepted." listen to how ridic that sounds. you are literally asking for a white history month. That's the same thing you're doing when you're talking about manhood like this. The onus is not on the discriminated group to reach out to those harming them. That's up to others in the community.

But as a broader thing...We just need to figure out what the end game is. Do we want to yell and guilt trip, or do we want more people in our corner? What's more important, the end goal or if someone knows all the right lingo or matches up to your opinions exactly? What do we need to rally around? How can we take care of each other? If we're kinder to the community, more people will follow.

Anyway this is the last time i'll say some big thing like this and tag it. I don't like doing this on tumblr for a reason.

[bloodyfries]

Epic songs that fit Svsss characters/moments

Epic and scum villain are currently my favorite fandoms (not counting tgcf) so I wanted to make this list. Also please give me any epic x svsss fics or art, I'd greatly appreciate it (I've already read the suffering fic)!!!

Just a man: This was actually what inspired this list and the idea for an animation won't leave my head. This is Shen Qingqiu during the abyss scene. This is him trying to rationalize pushing Luo Binghe. The whole first half of the song is him saying how he couldn’t possibly do it. You'd replace "Deep down I'd trade the world to see my son and wife" with "Deep down I'd trade almost anything to save you from this fate" (yes ik it doesn't sound good or rhyme but I'm terrible at anything music based or poem based). The silent beat between "I'm just a man" and the "but when dose a comet become a meteor" is the system reminded him of how many points he'll lose (and maybe how many he has), so he get that final push to turn his sword onto Luo Binghe.

Luck runs out: OK, this one is not even close to cannon but I'd love if this happened even if it's slightly occ. Also this isn't nearly as long as just a man bc that one actually has been haunting my brain like Christmas in October. I can see this is moment between Shen Qingqiu escaping the water prison and self destructing where somehow Shen Qingqiu runs into Shang Qinghua. I think that it would be more likely to happen if they were a bit closer and if Shang Qinghua wasn't fully sure that the mushroom bodies would be ok. I think it could sort of be Shang Qinghua trying to get Shen Qingqiu to flee the city (this gets shut down either by Shen Qingqiu telling him about the blood mites or Luo Binghe almost having qi deviation)

Wouldn't you like: Doing time jumps because I'm going in Epic order. This is literally just some sort of knowledge person rewarding Luo Binghe for helping them. So they tell him about Xin Mo and how all of his enemies (or monsters), that will kill him if he doesn't become stronger, will be easily defeated with Xin Mo

There are other ways: A woman who was supposed to be a wife trying to get out of a lost fight. Of course Luo Binghe doesn't care so instead she gives him information about a prophet that can help him escape in exchange for mercy.

No longer you: I would talk about this but there are already at least three animations on YouTube on this, they're both so good. [animation 1] [animation 2] [animation 3]

Monster: Luo Binghe finally "snapping" or coming to terms with his blackening (in the abyss)

Suffering: Sirens that were either a wife plot or wives themselves originally, probably both. Luo Binghe trying to get info out of a siren that looks like his beloved shizun, thats it. There is also a really cool animation of this on YouTube. [Animation]

Legendary: this on is only being added because the same creator at the suffering did one if legendary and it opened my eyes. It's pretty much white lotus Binghe talking about wanting to be great then cutting to black lotus (during the five years) wishing for his shizun back. [Animation]

Little wolf: Kind of a stretch but Meng Mo training a young Luo Binghe. This would not be a real fight but old fights that Luo Binghe lost and is reliving in his dreams to see what he did wrong. The only problem would be hurting the mind by hurting someone in a dream. Alternatively: Shen Qingqiu silently cheering on Luo Binghe during his "fight" with Ming Fan. Quick thought would just be the leaves being shot

Not sorry for loving you: I already made a post about this and as you can see by the dwindling lengths of these descriptions, I'm getting really lazy (plus it's late) so just read the post please. [Post]

I can't help but wonder: This just feels like something post cannon where BingQiu finally talk about everything. Luo Binghe probably says something about how he's a monster and has done terrible things and Shen Qingqiu is practically offended that Luo Binghe would suggest that Shen Qingqiu wouldn't love him because of that

This post was too ambitious for one sitting, especially this late but I did it. I might add more when my thoughts are more coherent and I'm not just throwing the pink slab of meat in my skull into the post

[southparkhcsocs]

kicking my feet and giggling

can you do something like the main 4 praising you whether it's nsfw or not or both

heavy on the nsfw but you can pick 🤭

It's been a while babes ❤️ remember when that's what this blog was lol

Fem!reader

Under 18s dni! NSFW under the cut.

All characters are aged up to mid 20s thx

Stan Marsh

Stan wouldn't praise you as much as you'd like.

He doesn't say much generally.

But when he's drunk. Good God.

You are a goddess to him.

Everything you do is amazing, omg stunning!

"you're soo pretty, y/n. 'm so lucky to ha ve you. Look at you. You do so mu-ch for me. I loove youu."

Whether sober or drunk he'll praise you in the bedroom

He's a pretty dominant guy but he has to make sure you know how perfect you are for him.

But it's so much more when he's drunk.

He will stop mid thrust to complement and praise you.

Will end in crying lol

"So perfect." He mumbled into your neck before going to kiss your lips. He stopped his movements to just admire your beauty. "I love you so much. You're so good to me... I don't deserve you." His lip trembles.

You need to praise him back bc bro is insecure!!

Kyle Broflovski

Kyle will praise you a nice amount I think

If he thinks you've done something well, like getting a job, promotion etc he'll genuinely praise you

"That's amazing! I knew you could do it!"

If it's something he doesn't think warrants praise, like getting groceries, cleaning, basically everyday things he won't say anything but thanks. Not that he doesn't appreciate it, he just thinks it's not a big deal.

If everyday things are something you struggle with he'll try praising you but it will be half-hearted.

I don't imagine Kyle being much of a talker during sex

I also imagine him getting quite flustered when you ask him to praise you while he's two fingers deep inside you

"I - uuuhh." His brain fizzles out. System overload as he looks into your desperate eyes. "P-praise you? H-how?" He asked. You thrust your hips to remind him to keep fingering you which kicks starts his brain back to work. "oh, uummm g-good girl. S-so precious aren't you." He burrows his face into the crook of your neck. "You feel so good around my fingers."

He'll get so embarrassed if you praise him. He's not used to it!

Kenny McCormick

Kenny showers you with praises

No matter what you've done he thinks you're amazing, he understands how difficult things can be and wants to shower you in love, complements and praises

But he's so cool and collected it's sexy

"great job, babe."

But will almost always end it with something sexual

"you deserve a reward, huh?"

In bed, he'll praise you constantly

He'll get you to praise yourself.

"you're such a good girl, aren't you? Tell me how good you are for me, baby." His words reverberate against your neck as he's 6 inches deep. Fucking you so hard that you can barely get the words out. "Come on pretty girl. Tell me how much you deserve this."

You can praise him but he'll praise you right back. So much. He'll give you butterflies.

Eric Cartman

Cartman isn't much of a praiser

If you cook him his favourite meal he'll be like "Meh"

The only time he would praise you is when he's bringing you back from subspace

"such a good girl." "You did so well." "Look how pretty you are covered in my cum."

Bro would have you begging to be praised.

"what? You think you deserve praise?" He takes hold of your jaw, forcing you to look at him. "Babe, you're only good when you're on your knees sucking my cock. If you're not doing that, what is there to praise?" His hand slides to the back of your head, pushing you down to his crotch. "You need to work for it, slut."

Nooo his ego is too big don't praise him!!!! He doesn't deserve it!

Will melt at being called a good boy.

[gorgugplushie]

can you tell us abt how you read dandys. deal. like whats wrong with him. and whys he like that . whats his favorite manipulation tactic. does he like waffles? idk if this is weird enough but maybe its a chance to talk

OF COURSE.

my overall reading of Dandy is him being the first toon created so obvs he was the first toon experimented and tested on, exposed to the horrors what not, so he KNOWS what the handlers and founders can do if he ever messes up etc. he's ultra aware of having to be perfect and fit this image of who Dandy is.

my hc is that he was completely nonverbal during his creation,Arthur leaned toward a gentler approach with teaching him how to speak while Dehiliah felt the need to rush the progress with introducing more ichor into dandys system, it works but the progress is horribly traumatizing to dandy and leads him to lose all trust in humans.

humans are the bad ones who are keeping him and the others in gardeview, to him the toons have ZERO anatomy because it could just be taken away from them in seconds, they could easily be replaced if not doing well, and the humans make their respective existances MISRABLE with things like how holiday toons hibernate most of the year. dandy sees all of this as pure torture, he believes humans are overtly arrogant and playing god etc.

bc of that he feels like it falls upon him to protect the other toons even if it harms them in the long run, he needs to be strong to protect them all, they need to hone their abilities, to break free, and return home to the digital land scape of the dandys world show. which is dandys ultimate goal, return home or escape garden view.

he has a weird realationship with his cartoon self. bc as much as he wants to be that dandy he cant bc of the fucked up situations he finds himself in. he idolizes yet resents that dandy. he doesn't even know if he cant really be called dandy since he continues to fail everyone's expectations of him. idk.

i dont think twisteds were really dandys idea. its delilahs (something she made to piss off arthur when gardenview started going under etc idk. too get back at him for having the credit of toons basically) but he did spread it and run w it.

his fav manipulation tactic.. well. id say its being overtly friendly and personal... lulling toons into believing he's the ONLY one who can help them, making them entirely co-dependant on him, making them mistrustful or warry of the others. he's extremely touchy but I actually see him as touch repulsed, to him touch is a reward or a punishment nothing more than that.

i think hed like waffles... i think hed like simple foods... anything that's diff than what toons usually are fed.

overall he means well but hes just incredibly fucked in the head.

sorry for the long ass essay i like him. I HAVE MOER TO SAYYY.

read my fics also on ao3 bc I write a lot abt dandy and get into his head.

[crimeronan]

Hang on. In the latest chapter, Luz is talking about Hunter's backstory &how Belos told him where he came from & she says she can't remember "which one it was for him." Is she talking about lies Belos told the other Grimwalkers??

BINGO. i am THRILLED that someone picked up on this.

what hunter Has been told is: his father was belos's brother. the brother and the rest of hunter's immediate family were killed, hunter was found in the aftermath, and belos took him in.

(i don't think i've ever established whether he was found in the woods or a house or a wrecked village. bc i'll never remember my own canon.)

when hunter found out that belos is human, he assumed his father must Also have been human. and that he himself must be half-human.

luz has let him think this.

hunter Suspects that parts of the story are bullshit, given what he now knows about how belos fabricates wild witch violence. he's not sure at All that his family actually Was killed. but he is certain that his dad is dead & the thought of tracking down his witch family makes him Incredibly Fucking Anxious, so he's. not pursuing it.

this AU's hunter would actually not be too badly shaken by the grimwalker revelation, bc he has WAY less emotionally tied up in belos. and he'd forgive luz for lying to him and understand why she did it.

however!!

it's easy to forget because the story (thus far, anyway) doesn't go into heavy detail -- but luz knows.... basically as much as belos did. about. all of the prior grimwalkers.

belos obfuscated the manner of their deaths to keep up his lies, but he was Extremely honest with her about everything else. like. everythiiing else.

like from a scientific perspective, luz knows all the components and how to put them together and how long to wait for them to incubate and whatnot, which is not That horrifying, it's basically just necromantic scavenger birds-and-the-bees.

but she also knows, like. how it's better to raise a child than form an adult because children have better temperaments. she has belos's notes on all the fucked-up early-psychology-style unethical experiments he did, & what the results were, & which of those results should ideally be repeated.

she has notes on what they were all told about who they are and where they come from, about whether it's better to be honest or to lie, and then when it's Clear that lying is better, about which lies are the most simple and effective.

she has his notes on the lifespans of all of the prior grimwalkers, including shit like child development, language acquisition, discipline, reward systems. his notes on personality and temperament and "illness," which is almost always just budding signs of independence/disobedience.

she has Everything he thought might be useful if she ever decided to create a companion of her own. including unnecessary information. bc he's a father passing down his legacy and wants her to know what he did.

like. it is GROSS. the things she knows are GROSS.

hunter being a grimwalker won't freak him out by itself. but she is fucking Terrified of him finding out that those notes exist. like hey, dude, i have concrete on-paper proof that Every Single Aspect of your personality and loyalty and love was premeditated to make you easier to control. proof that you can't actually trust any of your emotions or instincts because you're SUPPOSED to be non-autonomous. you love me and you chose me but did you actually?? you have never had any control over anything ever! okay bye 💕

like. that's a revelation that's either going to shake hunter to his core, which is fucking awful because he'll be upset and unmoored, OR it's going to have no impact on how he feels about luz/his life at all, which is fucking awful because it just feels like more proof that everything he does is coerced.

what a nightmare position to be in. Truly Unfortunate For Everyone...

[circumlocutive]

My Adderall is hitting and I just wanna shit this text post out before I start work.

I don't think there's a practical point to this kind of navel gazing at this stage in my life, and really it's more of a symptom of an issue in psychiatry with labeling phenotypic categories that don't have much correlation to biochemical mechanisms. But. I do still wonder about whether my avolition and related executive dysfunction/motivation crisis is " better " characterized as a CPTSD thing than an ADHD thing. And whether that should play a role in my expectations for functioning.

Like functionally I'm still going to treat my symptoms the same either way (it doesn't respond to CBT, DBT, or a few diff antidepressants, but does respond adequately [if inconsistently] to stimulants), so from a pragmatic angle fussing over which label is better is not useful to me. It's mostly identity wanking - unless the labels can implicate something actionable, all they really seem to do is saddle you with their sociocultural baggage.

I'd say I have evidence suggesting a genetic predisposition to ADHD traits (which I generally conceptualize based on handling in the broader psych literature as an innate/biological/"nature" [as in nature vs nurture] based thing, like the impairments are there whether or not the environment is good or bad though of course environment influences the final result). My dad is very ADHD and was long before he was a combat veteran if you listen to stories from his family, my dad was adopted bc he had a teen mom so highly likely she had something up too, and my brother is so textbook autism (and autism and ADHD genes run around skipping hand in hand) (stimulant side note these are not definitive scientific correlations I'm making here, autism looking presentation could be related to my brother being abused too and having far less social support, could be related to my mother's psychotic lineage [autism and schizo/bipolar/psychotic spec genes also run around skipping hand in hand], could be a lot of shit).

On the other hand, it is so obvious I have CPTSD (which I conceptualize as a nurture based, acquired dysfunction that does also alter your "nature" in the sense it affects your genetic expression. But while trauma will change your innate biochemical settings, I see the biggest distinction from ADHD in that cptsd wouldn't manifest without external initiation). In the narrative of my life, my current difficulty with motivation makes more sense as. Well. Something to do with living in constant fear for my life in my developmental period. How can I find anything as compelling or salient as preserving my life against a direct, explicit, and omnipresent threat. How am I supposed to give a fuck about tasks if no one is breaking plates over my head about them or depriving me of food and shelter. My whole risk reward system calibration is fuuuucked.

Realistically, I have issues with emotional regulation/motivation/self care because of the combination. I probably do have congenital neurological differences inherited from my parents, and then the extreme circumstances of my youth made for maladaptive neurological conditioning (think in the firing/electrical circuitry) + hormonal release + epigenetic changes + downstream effects that further stunted my prefrontal cortex and amygdala and striatum and whatever structures associated with emotion and reward. Some of the conditioning may be reversible with therapy/safe life experiences but the baseline performance won't be adjusted without biochemical intervention. Maybe that should play a role in setting my expectations for my performance and "improvement" over time.

Idk I have more feelings about labels and the ways they change our perception of the bio phenomena underlying "mental illness" and the self, but I need to do work instead of wasting hours getting the words out and refining them

[coffincoitus]

I unironically feel like growing up as a girl who doesn't feel attraction to men kinda sets you apart from other women in the way you legit do not care about being the "prettier girl". there's no concept of "the pretty friend". you have not internalized a reward system for being the pretty friend bc male attention means jackshit. most times you wouldn't even notice male attention. you think every man is ugly and stupid

[phagodyke]

Would love to hear ur thoughts on Hades game sometime because I too loved but had beef with the game and I think we are the same ….

yessss, disclaimer I haven't played it for like 3 years and I only played 10 hours/got to the end once before I dropped it so i might be misremembering some things but I stick by my opinions! under the cut cuz this is long as fuck 🫣 my haterism has no limits

ok so basically my grievances w hades can be split into 2 main areas: gameplay + narrative, I'll break them down in that order.

firstly gameplay - roguelikes/lites are my fave genre so I was predominantly approaching hades from this angle + its failure here is the clincher for me.

I found the gameplay repetitive and stale. this isnt a criticism of its permadeath like ive seen some ppl make - I usually relish repetition/grind especially in permadeath-based games bc I find tactical challenge fun + love the learning curve, its soooo rewarding. but hades is ultimately just a glorified button masher. mob/boss movesets are boring + unoriginal, and can generally all be fought the same way. trying to do otherwise drags out fights; it actively discourages emergent gameplay so theres little variance WITHIN runs. the pool of rooms for procedural generation is far too small so theres little variance BETWEEN runs. there's no real challenge to combat, difficulty is mainly increased by heightened mob tankiness as you get further in a run. movement/combat doesn't flow well, its mechanically very weak, relying heavily on its permanent upgrade system instead of developing skill in the way you approach the game. all the weapons feel clunky and don't really offer any unique challenge/benefit so theres virtually no point switching between them and the grind to unlock them all is so pointless… god there are just SOOO many hack n slash crawlers that keep it fresh even for hundreds of hours and hades fails miserably at keeping it fresh for even 5 measly hours :^/

I didnt like the boon system either - its far too simplistic + shallow. its fine to rely on chance, this is part of the random generation, and I think it had a lot of potential in that it was a good way of combining aesthetic w gameplay itself. but this is pretty much the only form of resource management - and theres barely any management to it! theres no reward for exploring different builds, they dont really synergise BETWEEN gods in interesting or useful ways, so the game encourages you to just stick with one god throughout, and biases random generation towards boons youve already collected. part of the fun for me is learning HOW to design a build, and working with the randomiser to play flexibly, but hades just isnt interested in that at all...

also - I don't like the permanent upgrade system, I think this detracts from it as a rogue. every time you should be starting on square 1 - maybe you pick up health upgrades etc throughout each run, and maybe you unlock new weapons etc for the random generation pool, or purely cosmetic upgrades, but the point of permadeath is that it RESETS! zags base health + dmg should be the same 50 hours into the game as when u first open it. make a different genre of game if u dont wanna do that lol. I also think IF youre going to say fuck it and add a permanent upgrade system, you should also add unlockable permanent biome shortcuts bc ur just making it boring as fuck to have to waste time grinding thru earlier biomes with unskippable combat once youre op for them.

I GET that they did this to make the game more accessible* to players who dont typically enjoy rogues, but it just makes it really disappointing for those of us who DO love rogues, and it always feels cheap to me when games are like "well of you want challenge then set the difficulty yourself with these modifiers 🙄" like just make the base difficulty TOUGH up front and then add an easy/story mode and accessibility features* for players who don't want the challenge.. if you're gonna call yourself a rogue the gameplay should be the PRIORITY not a throwaway option

one of my biggest peeves with hades is how people now laud it as one of the best rogues - whenever I mention I like the genre I almost always get asked "oh, like hades?" and it pisses me off so much… its a rogueLITE not roguelike, ie. it has rogue ELEMENTS but its not a true one and imo, it does a pretty shit job implementing them! I would have a lot less resentment towards it if it wasnt marketed as the forefront of the rogue genre - frankly its a very basic rogue with very mid gameplay, its characters/design are by FAR its strong point and it should be sold as such. its misleading and makes me sad that this is what most people think of when they hear rogue :-(

*(side note - accessibility in this game is another major flaw. theres really no excuse for a game as popular as this to be so lacking in accessibility options. allow people to bind keys together or use coloured outlines or have colourblindness settings or alter font/text size etc - its not that hard! dead cells did a great job of this lol)

anyway... moving onto my second criticism - narratively, its also unsatisfying.

the hades plot is, loosely, about a cycle of abuse, so the 2 natural directions to go in with this are either: #1: escaping the cycle, or #2: continuing it forever.

#2 is the easiest to do with a rogue format - bc of permadeath the game is already cyclical, so all you have to do is create an ending which loops perfectly back to the start (smth like 'its impossible to truly defeat/reconcile with his father so even after zag beats him, hades drags him back to the start again). obviously this is a miserable story to tell, but tbh I think it wouldve been interesting + fitting - so much of greek mythos is about cycles and the unchanging nature of the gods, and they LOVED eternal cyclical punishments. plus theres smth rly tragic about zag gradually helping everyone else while no one else can save him from his family LOL

#1 is a bit harder to do - this is the story they WANTED to tell but I just don't think it worked… the driving force plot-wise is his desperation to escape. realistically for this to happen the game needs to be finite, which it can't be due to its rogue nature - somehow you have to end up at the very start again. the main solutions I can think of for this are:

a) after the final boss, insert some time travel shenanigans (easy to fit into the worldbuilding using a character like kronos) and all of zags progress with hades is unspooled. this can be completely out of his control, or it could be a choice the player makes (to end the game here or choose to go back and relive zags past in order to progress npc questlines). eg. what happens in dead cells. again, tragic but it makes more sense to me

-or b) bite the bullet and give the game a completely finite ending after beating hades. if players want to go back and play more to complete other npc questlines, they pick up play from before they beat hades. this isnt explained "narratively" bc the plot is already concluded and now theyre just playing for fun (eg. what going under does)

I also think for a character-focused story-rich game, roguelite was a really terrible choice of genre as it locks every interaction behind pure chance and hours of grinding - just really baffling why they decided to do this, especially when theyve had such success previously making games within different genres (transistor, bastion, pyre). the core of the issue for me is that the devs wanted to create a game that was both story rich AND a rogue - and these things arent mutually exclusive, but the best features of each contradict each other when you try to balance them in a way to appease their respective fans (ie. the challenge/complexity of the gameplay is heavily restricted by keeping it easy for ppl unfamiliar with rogues to pick up, but the strength of the narrative arc is simultaneously weakened by the fact that as a rogue it has to be perpetual bc of permadeath + you're working with procedural generation…)

I'm not going to beef with the artstyle or music bc I rly loved them both (even if I wish the body diversity was better!), or with the interpretations of greek gods bc literally every piece of media abt greek mythos has to decide how to interpret them and I think its silly to be like "this isnt CANON" - since we actually dont HAVE a strict "canon" for many of these stories bc theyve been retold/translated in so many conflicting ways lol. I've just heard ppl complaining abt that and I dont think its worth complaining about 🤷‍♀️

ANYWAY tl;dr: hades should've been an action-heavy isometric metroidvania… it wouldve made it far easier to focus on character questlines (ie. with respawn points + a fixed map), unified the story they wanted to tell with the gameplay SO much more effectively, and allowed them to reach the full potential of both, whilst also playing up to supergiant's previous game-making strengths. but thats my 2 cents!

[essentialthyme]

[Outer Wilds SPOILERS!]

In the very first loop, I figured out that the sun was dying. I went to the museum, saw the model and was reminded exactly of what a supernova is. 22 minutes later the sun explodes. I was like "oh... fuck" and I knew there was no "saving the solar system" so I didn't get the experience some people got when they went to Sun Station. It was actually disappointing, to finally get there only for the reward to be knowledge I already had. No realization dread. No just sitting there and waiting for the inevitable.

BUT!

Well, I HATE Ms. Dark Bramble. I hate her and her little monsters, they have no right to be that terrifying. I went there for the first time because I really wanted to meet Feldspar, and after a shit ton of suffering I made it, did what I had to do, restarted to loop and said "I ain't going back there, thank you" like a fucking IDIOT because of COURSE there's more to be done there. But I could do it later. Like, at the end of the game. Probably.

So I do everything I can think of, all my logs cleared except for the Vessel. Having done the math, I knew what I had to do. I had coordinates + a core I could use to power up... sigh. I decide to face my nightmare without retrieving the core from the ATP bc Ms. Bramble HATES me, and there's a 100% chance I will die. I do die. I get some practice. I reach the escape pod. I reach the seed, the tomb. I nearly cry, because I fucking love the Nomai and I really wanted them to make it, but they met their end long, long ago, and yet it doesn't get easier to me, seeing it.

I die some more, I reach the Vessel.

I read the first panel: It was all avoidable. That's a conversation for another time. Like, I have so much to say about it, it's insane. But we're on a timer.

I read the second panel.

Nomai talking about the dying stars, about the end of the universe. Talking about meeting up, somewhere that has the potential to be safe.

I don't think anything in the game could beat the feeling I got while I read that panel, slowly realizing that this conversation is RECENT. These Nomai might very well be alive! Right now! After exploring all of their lost civilization, their doomed history in this solar system. After meeting Solanum. I don't know.

After hours of playing a game where all my experiences where laced with grief, a tiny spark of hope.

I still have, at the very least, one more loop to go.

Even though I really want to, I know I can't save anyone. None of the Travelers, none of the Hearthians. I can't save Solanum. I don't know if the Nomai are really alive, or if it's just wishful thinking. Even if they are, I probably won't meet them. I won't get to talk to them and tell the stories about their brave ancestors, of their recklessness, of their genius, of their wonder.

All I have are the coordinates to the Eye.

And I owe it to those who came before me, the Nomai, the Hearthians, the people who played this game before I I did, to go and see it for myself.

I hope it's worth it.

[mobiused]

you didn't even mention this in your post, but to me personally, what has asserted my trust (not blind tho!) on ctd over modhaus is definetely how the two companies handle diets

like i will NOT forget how haseul had to do exercise (2 times in a day if i recall??) right after she ate a cup of noodles or whatever it was; and how on the other hand, we see ctd staff actively encouraging yeojin to eat (and tangently at least 3 loossemble assemble episodes in which the girls were given free rein to cook and eat... yeojin doesn't make as many depreceative comments about food now. hyeju mentions constantly how she exercises but eats healthly, and the other day gowon was talking about eating sugar frequently for energy (well. watermelon is mostly water but the intent is. there.) even though they have a cb right around the corner..... (this gowon comment was particularly rewarding i think. sugar is usually seen as the devil for diets and thinness, and seeing a member aware of its actual biological function....i liked that)

thought of this as i was writing but i also cannot ignore the white washing. like, on one hand we have ctd being "yeah whatevs girl!" to hyeju tanning, on the other modhaus editing artms pics *like that* uhm....

and another thing bc i've seen too many ouriis just going "well go ahead and unstan, you have looble and chuu and yves" when orbits rightly critisized the voting system.... the voting system is actually.... fine? it's the way it's handled that is wrong. the girls should be aware of what polls are happening, and what is being voted on at all times. hell, they should be the ones making the polls, because they'd handle it in a way we would KNOW that they'd be happy with the results regardless, and the poll would act only as a way to generate a bit of entropy and get a feel on how the fandom (well. the paying and with nfts part of the fandom) feels about concepts, music, etc....

sorry this grew a tad long.....i think i'm done. sorry for the spelling mistakes.....

nono is okay honestly speak on it I totally agree with most of this

[2af-afterdark]

I'm in the VERY VERY vocal minority about this but tbh I'm kinda glad that the angel units are behind paywals. Bc their stories are really dicey and I am NOT strong enough for the discourse that would come out of that. Like, I understand this whole ordeal was handled terribly but I'm just trying to look for silver linings at this point.

Also I doubt pb will learn their lesson. They got their money already and this announcement was just salt in the wound. I wasn't surprised that the angel units wouldn't be added to the main gacha. Plus they only seem to work well with other angel units so putting them in the main gacha would dilute it further. Though I guess since a lot of people are saying they're Uninstalling so maybe they'll see it plus their emails are probably getting blown up.

All in all. It's disappointing but unsurprising. I at least wished they'd just given us S rank Gabe as part of the challenge since he's technically in the game. But as soon as I saw that it was L rank I knew they wouldn't give it out for free.

Sorry for rambling. I'm just holding out for the main story at this point.

Okaay so, maybe I'm not communicating this well but... having limited time cards is not the issue for me. The issue is how trash PB's communication is and how predatory and money-hungry they are being. They should have said in the announcements that the angels would be limited time and not added to the pool. I get certain cards being only for a limited time (that's what most gacha do). The issue was that they said nothing until later, which establishes that they can and will change the rules whenever they feel like it without warning. It doesn't have to do with if the units are good or bad. They could literally be the worst units in the game and I would still be upset because of what they are communicating to the players; that we are not worth keeping informed.

I admit that I am not happy they are paywalled, but that's because I'm never happy when cards (a huge bulk of the gameplay for a gacha) are completely paywalled. I find it gross and predatory. Also, it may sound heartless of me, but this game has so many problematic elements that if people get spicy over the content with the angels... I don't know what to say? The game is very open about what it is. It has many dub/noncon elements, intense kinks (two of them are literally decapitation and necrophilia), violence, etc. If the angels are the thing that starts the discourse, I will have to wonder who ignored all the other similar shit without saying something. If the cards are going to start discourse, they will do that regardless of the paywall. But, again, idk why they would when anyone walking into this game should already be aware of what it is.

And, no, I don't expect them to learn their lesson. The only way they would learn anything is if it hits them in the paycheck. The fact that people pay for Solomon Seals continues to encourage PB to use Solomon Seals to earn money. Unless the whales stop spending money on these practices, PB will keep using them (they why I don't, even though i am one person and my resolve means little in the grand scheme). Unless the sudden evacuation of players are whales (who seem to be the only ones PB cares about at this point), I doubt the company will notice.

Gabriel though, does genuinely upset me. Like I said in a previous response, battle pass systems like this tend to have free rewards and paid rewards. The rewards are usually the same but the free path gives out the main reward much later (think earning the card at level 200 for a free path versus earning it at level 120 for the paid path). This is usually fine because, though difficult, both paid and free players can earn the final reward. It's a small way of rewarding players for, you know, playing the game. This is especially true because battle passes require frequent log-ins and active participation. But Gabriel, the ultimate reward for the battle pass, can only be acquired after doing all that work plus spending $60. I find that gross.

I'm a whale. I do spend money on this game, but I am careful about how I spend that money. I pay for the daily log-in bonuses (the extra AP and keys). I have bought several event packs. I own every sticker pack. Basically, the only thing I don't do is pay for Solomon Seals. I simply want PB to not alienate a huge chunk of the players just because they can't, won't, or don't want to shell out money. It's about the principle of the matter to me.

As for S-rank Gabriel... He's okay. He's a good unit in battle, but he comes with no intimacy (so no comic, info, etc). Also, my guess is that they wouldn't add him to the general pool afterward either. After all, Minhyeok wasn't added after he left. Plus, my guess is they don't want to do that since they plan to release more packs, including those that sell Gabriel. Less incentive to buy his pack if you can just earn him in the general pool.

[vacantgodling]

I'm sorry but did I miss something ?? Noble ?? Hello 👀👀

OOOO NOBLE MY BELOVED

so i've actually had noble as a story for a LONG time. a long long time. however i've been extremely intimidated to write it and plan it out because scifi isn't really my... forte? i feel like it should be easy to make a scifi or a space opera but my brain just gets caught up in all the details and i never end up moving forward with them HAHA. but i'm trying to get out of that because writing is supposed to be FUN.

anyway tho, onto noble. just gonna stick this under a cut bc its LONG to ramble and spoilers or whatever bc i never have an excuse to talk about this story and ahhhh i love my son

firstly its called noble because (1) its a story about fuck the government and doing whats right and (2) its a play on noh's name, which is literally pronounced 'noble' (for the most part) when you put it all together.

in this universe earth has kind of been fucked; no one is really born on earth anymore bc the planet has gone to shit and the radiation is so bad and people who still live on the planet are usually sent there as prisoners (so earth is space australia but literally) or they're unlucky enough to be born there. noh was born on earth (though he doesn't remember this) however, he was taken in by the overarching... uh idk space police state government thing. i haven't thought about what it is too much lmao. anyway, babies are usually taken from earth if they have a good aptitude (aka they survived lmao) and since they're abandoned anyway they're indited into our FAVORITE super soldier program.

this program is called JACK and JILL.

the jack and jill program is an elite super soldier police force program where jacks are the brains and jills are the brawn. they go around enforcing laws, doing drug busts, keeping the "peace" around the galaxy etc etc. however, they always go in pairs just like the nursery rhyme jack and jill, and most jacks and jills are trained together from infancy to make sure that they're 100% in sync.

again, this is all shit noh doesn't remember, but he used to be a JILL. his JACK was a woman named amelia rottney. however something happened and he, amelia and some of their other companions (two other jack & jill units comprised of ethan summers (the jack) and iodine mary evelyn (the jill) and neso/neon (so technically speaking and i have to do more research into this to make sure that i am portraying this correctly but neso/neon are a DID system, but bc both the alter (neon) and the host (neso) operate together p well for the most part, they're the only "solo bodied" jack/jill unit. also speaking of representation, noh is mute! he mainly communicates with sign language but he does have implants; which got fucked up when he was first initially found but he eventually gets new ones but this is off topic).

but they all discovered some fucked up shit about the government and wanted to bring it to light obvs (i mean the fact that none of them knew that they were all p much stolen orphans is Bad Probably) however the government got to them first and sought to eliminate them. they all scattered p much, but noh p much sacrificed himself to let the others escape so they tortured him and erased his memory and then left him adrift in space to die. however in like a weird ass ploy to keep power they basically painted noh & co as terrorists that were trying to disrupt the peace of the cosmos, so they offered a reward/bounty for noh & co dead or alive-even though they knew they set him adrift and for all intents and purposes the government isn't looking for him he's dead.

until he's yknow. not dead. since yknow. he was found by a cargo vessel adrift and was able to be saved. tm.

so the whole story is kind of noh being on the run/trying to stay on the DL while he tries to figure out what in the sam hell is going on and then eventually reuniting with his friends and fucking this government up the ass in a bad way.

he also ends up befriending and eventually getting into a relationship with a space pirate rouge thing (i have so much worldbuilding to do its not even funny lmaooooo) named emerion jackson and idk i love their relationship a lot i rotate them in my head LMAO.

but yeah so that's the Extended Cut of what noble is about, maybe i will make this into a coherent wip intro one day LMAOOOO

[racke7]

Me vs FF14 part... 2?

It's taken me pretty much three full days of running from cutscene to cutscene. But I've finally reached Heavensward.

And like... on some level? I'm kind of offended?

Like, a part of me genuinely wants to replay the entire game from the start "as something else" (different main-class, different race, different starting-area, whichever), because the dungeon-queuing system is actually really fun when you start to Understand it.

As in, FF14 has somehow made an MMO that has almost eliminated the feeling that it is a level-grind? Partially? It's turned the whole thing into a surprisingly comfortable level of (limited, but genuine) social interaction.

To the point where even someone who isn't obsessively grind-focused like me, can genuinely enjoy themselves. Just queuing up for dungeons, Hunting some bounties, and-...

And then FF14 has so many fucking quests that it literally chokes the life out of the gameplay.

As an example, one of their biggest dungeon-draws (bcs high rewards) is a quest that almost everyone hates playing. Because doing that dungeon means watching literally eighteen minutes of unskippable cutscenes.

And that's with them having reduced the amount of cutscenes in that dungeon, because the players complained so much about them.

Like... I'd be perfectly happy replaying the game from the start with a different character, even knowing that leveling isn't some kind of pain-free thing. But the thought of having to restart the fucking Main-Quest? Of having to spend literal days just running back-and-forth to cutscenes?

I'm currently feeling a bit burned-out as a result of the binge I went on to get here, but I'm pretty damn sure that I wouldn't replay this fucking thing even if you paid me for it.

(And, of course, Heavensward also has a Main-Quest continuation that you have to follow. And now I'm not even allowed to fly everywhere to cut down on the "running back-and-forth"-part of my complaints. Not until they arbitrarily allow me to discover flight for the new areas, by going through even more of the Main-Quest.)

(Not to mention that now I have to go back and do even more Class-quests, with their own cutscenes, in order to unlock a bunch of skills.)

(I'm very fond of the "the church is evil because it doesn't let you fuck dragons"-meme, and I'm very much seeing it. But like... come the fuck on. Why is this MMO a feature-length movie-series? Why can't I just play the game and have fun?)

[mjrarcana]

Alright, so this is gonna be a time. It involves Akechi and will probably be all over the place. But anyway, I would like to explain how this came to me. Basically Vinland Saga rearranged my brain chemistry. And seeing Thorfinn really awakened my Akechi muse in a new way. So briefly, and bear with me bc this is important, I am gonna outline some things I have cooked up involving Akechi in the past year or so.

SO it's all about redemption arcs baby. So as we all know, Akechi (at 15) gets his powers and approaches Shido, I have my post about how that went down here. At that point, he approached Shido intending to get revenge on him. Due to situations, he ended up having to bide his time. Akechi states in the game that if he had met Joker earlier, maybe he wouldn't have gone down that path. I agree! Akechi wanted to be a hero, but he was slowly pushed by society into the role of a villain. I think when considering him, it is VERY IMPORTANT to consider that the way orphans/single moms/kids in the foster system are treated in Japan is significantly worse than in the USA and I read a lot of articles about this when I wrote Akechi back in 2017. I can def try to find some of those sources. But if you look it up you will see that adopting a kid is heavily stigmatized in Japan and people in the system are booted out at 16 with almost no safety net (this may have changed but as of the articles I read in 2017, this was the case. Just like up "nobody's children".) So he did become very reliant on Shido's money and influence.

Now, Akechi is a killer. He has killed a LOT of people for Shido. And this is where I wanted to bring up the way that Vinland Saga rearranged my brain chemistry. So please stay with me here.

So if you don't know (spoilers for vinland saga), Vinland Saga is a story about a boy in viking times that witnesses his father be killed by a pirate named Askeladd. He is around 6 at the time and stows away on the boat they steal from his father. Now the boy's father was a viking who became a pacifist and ran away to raise his family without violence. When the men he used to work with found him, one of them hired pirates to kill him. Thorfinn plans on getting revenge. But he's a kid and can't fight the grown ass man. So Thorfinn ends up joining Askeladd's crew in the hopes to beat him in a duel (since his father won the duel they had but Askeladd's husband number 2 held Thorfinn hostage so that way they could still kill him). And so for like 11 years Thorfinn murders people for the very man he wants to kill. Constantly fighting and losing to him as a reward for his service. He becomes his dog and everything his father was against. Thorfinn at this time when he's around 16-17 is like Akechi but worse.

Now at the end of the first arc, Askeladd is killed in a sort of suicide by cop type of deal. Thorfinn loses all direction in life and becomes an empty husk. During this time, he meets Einar who becomes his first ever friend. He starts to become a person again slowly. And eventually he starts to use his strength to protect people and vows to never kill again. The redemption arc is so slow as it builds up from him being actually EVIL in the first arc to the kind of person that would risk everything for people.

So basically, my entire thing here is to talk about a potential post-game verse for Akechi. Now, I don't think him going to prison or whatever is good because uhhh a lot of political reasons I won't go into. There is no proof Akechi did anything wrong. He can't actually face real punishment from the system. So you have to wonder if he feels remorse. Yes. He does. He had been so wrapped up in his own shit that he was totally blinded by it. That is going to hit him like A TRUCK. I know that Akechi wanted to be a hero at one point. And he thought it was too late for him in the game. So when he doesn't actually die at the end of Royal, now he has to face the consequences. It isn't something as simple as going to prison. But it's seeing the harm he caused. It's not having any more excuses. And if Joker is still around, it's having at least one person that knows him to his core and will hold him accountable and care about him.

I want to give Akechi a redemption arc. I think it started on the ship when he 'died'. But that is just the start. I don't think Akechi is going to change overnight. But he will change. And he can never take back what he did. He can never undo the suffering. But he can try to plant a tree for every person he killed, just like Thorfinn. IDK. Like obviously, Akechi is never going to become a "flower garden of a man" like Thorfinn does. But I do think that with time, he could try to become the type of person that can at least help as many as he hurt even if it takes his entire life to do it.

That being said: I don't want everyone to forgive him. Part of growing from your actions and becoming a better person is having people resent you and hate you for your actions. Being held accountable and it doesn't matter if you are sorry or not. You cannot undo the harm you caused someone else. You cannot make them forgive you. And you can hardly even ASK for it when it's as serious as what he did. So please: let your muse hate him if they would. Let people want nothing to do with him and hate that he's alive. Let them wish him the worst. Part of a good redemption arc is knowing that those feelings are valid. Akechi can never undo what he did, and having people resent him is one of my favorite ways for him to be held accountable.