#is hot in here-

[kicks0u]

uh oh! i turned your slime girl into a robot!

[the-vengeful-demon]

The way my jaw dropped

[chloesimaginationthings]

Pit Bonnie wants to be the best FNAF bunny

[boybecoming]

an ode to testosterone weight gain

[caterjunes]

i'm the girl who makes up all the fake folk etymologies. it's fun and easy for me. nobody pays me, i just do it for the love of the game.

[poon-nropay]

hi here's my boy Franky from One Piece.

[mroddmod]

magma fiddlestan be upon ye

[cherryluvss]

Clitwarming >>

Just imagining myself lounging around at home while my s/o is working tirelessly at their desk. They haven't taken a break as they know they have to get this work finished but they're nowhere near done.

So I decide to waltz myself over to their home office and take my usual spot under the desk, but I simply place my chin on the base of the chair between their legs, like a puppy craving attention from it's owner.

"I'm sorry baby but I'm so busy right now, you're gonna have to wait a bit okay?" they coo, cupping my cheek with their hand and showing a sincere smile before putting all their focus back onto the computer screen.

But I want to be the one that helps you out, helps you relieve some stress without having to move from the desk.

"Can we try something? I promise it won't be too distracting, trust me" I whisper faintly, perching up slightly on my knees and trailing my fingertips along their exposed thigh.

It's getting late so all they're wearing is an oversized shirt, luckily that makes it easier for me see what I want.

Before they can even get a word in I place my soft lips around the hood of their neglected clit, my tongue just resting peacefully against the bud of nerves. I won't make any sudden movements though, like I said, I won't be too distracting.

The sweet sound of their breathy gasp as they look back down at me, their thighs closing in on my head to prop it up.

Every now and then I feel them rock against my tongue, their wetness seeping into my mouth with each one whilst I stay put.

That's all I'm here for after all, to keep their clit warm in my mouth whilst they use my tongue whenever they need some added friction.

Also helps keep my oral fixation at bay😉

[naturecalls111]

me n my vamp bf

[cozylittleartblog]

@staff if you [change] the [design] of the fucking [dashboard] i will kill you

edit. i want it on the actual post that i am not actually making a de-th threat against the staff. that's shitty. the caption quotes the fucking costco hot dog meme, which i originally said in the tags. if any staff member sees this please do Not take it personally

[justiceforplutoo]

big fan of steve calling eddie out for his high school bullshit. all that ranting and raving about forced conformity just to hate all jocks? like, steve, who tries his actual hardest to be better than he was in high school, is going to throw hands if eddie says one more thing that reinforces the dumb jock stereotype in the kids' minds.

like i just imagine eddie stopping someone from joining hellfire because they were on the basketball team or tripping someone in the hallways because they were wearing their letterman.

i need steve to take eddie by the shoulders and tell him that yes, eddie was bullied in high school, but he was also a bully and i think that eddie's prejudice is a topic we need to look more into. like, i have no doubt that eddie would make sure steve knows that he's not dumb, but i need wayne to be watching sports on tv which causes eddie to be like, "I can't believe you watch that shit. just a bunch of dumb jocks tossing balls into laundry baskets." and instead of just leaving, i need to see steve go, hey man, not fucking cool? like let people have their interests.

every time steve calls eddie out in a fic i go nuts for it. do i think that steve would have more emotional responses to some things? absolutely. do i also think that king steve, bitchy steve, would put eddie in his place? yes, yes i do. that is a hill i would die on.

[zeropro]

Don't worry, Sunstorm didn't fly all the way to Earth from Cybertron all by himself!

Because it's my au and i can do whatever i want, what if my oc hung out with all the cool kids. Somehow managed to shoehorn the Lost Light in there somewhere.

After Optimus Prime and his crew left Cybertron with Megatron on his trail, they all crash land on Earth and go into stasis. Back on Cybertron, Hot Rod is like, guys OP has been like, MIA for a few hundred years now, we should maybe go look for him? And Ultra Magnus and Elita-1 are like, doesn't seem like a good idea, so of course Hot Rod does it. He gets a space ship, crews it with his best bud, a bartender, a janitor, and a psychopath (okay whirl prolly sneaks onboard himself). Instead of finding Optimus they find the Dead Universe and a different Prime. Nova Prime. The guy who wanted to do the colonization like six million years ago. Anyway, they duke it out, and Cyclonus joins them. Then they like, have wacky space adventures, find Rung on a neutral colony somewhere and he joins them because serving on space ships is what he do. They go back to Cybertron at some point and find out it's all dead so they go out and try and find some solution to this. Then at some point Optimus Prime and the rest of the Autobots wake up on Earth, and so they go to Earth and meet up with them. They all hang out, then after Optimus dies, Hot Rod gets his name changed to Rodimus, and goes back into space because he and Bumblebee dont get along, and thats when they pick up Sunstorm en route and give him a ride back to Earth!

Sunstorm can have a little therapy, as a treat.

[ionomycin]

inhale, hold

[chloesimaginationthings]

Cassidy loves to scare the FNAF night guards..

[malcolmschmitz]

The Insider and Outsider Detectives

So there's a lot of discourse about detectives floating around, ever since 2020 shifted a lot of people's Views on the police. Everyone likes a good mystery story, but no one seems to know what to make of a detective protagonist- especially if they're a cop. And everyone who cares about this kind of thing likes to argue over whether detective stories hold up the existing order or subvert it. Are they inherently copaganda? Are they subversive commentary on the uselessness of the police?

I think they can be both. And I think there's a framework we can use to look at individual detectives, and their stories, that illuminates the space between "a show like LAPD straight-up exists to make the cops look good" and "Boy Detective is a gender to me, actually".

So. You can sort most detectives in fiction into two boxes, based on their role in society: the Insider Detective and the Outsider Detective.

The Insider Detective is a part of the society they're investigating in, and has access to at least some of the levers of power in that society. They can throw money at their problems, or call in reinforcements, and if they contact the authorities, those authorities will take them seriously. Even the people they're investigating usually treat them with respect. They're a nice normal person in a nice normal world, thank you very much; they're not particularly eccentric. You could describe them as "sensible". And crime is a threat to that normal world. It's an intrusion that they have to fight off. An Insider Detective solving a crime is restoring the way things ought to be.

Some clear-cut examples of Insider Detectives are the Hardy Boys (and their father Fenton), Soichiro "Light's Dad" Yagami, or Father Brown. Many police procedural detectives are Insider Detectives, though not all.

The Outsider Detective, in contrast, is not a part of the society they're investigating in. They're often a marginalized person- they're neurodivergent, or elderly, or foreign, or a woman in a historical setting, or a child. They don't have access to any of the levers of power in their world- the authorities may not believe them (and might harass them), the people they're investigating think they're a joke (and can often wave them off), and they're unlikely to have access to things like "a forensics lab". The Outsider Detective is not respectable, and not welcome here- and yet they persist and solve the crime anyway. A lot of the time, when an Outsider Detective solves a crime, it's less "restoring the world to its rightful state" and more "exposing the rot in the normal world, and forcing it to change."

Some clear-cut examples of Outsider Detectives are Dirk Gently, Philip Marlowe, Sammy Keyes, or Mello from Death Note.

Now, here's the catch: these aren't immutable categories, and they are almost never clear-cut. The same detective can be an Insider Detective in one setting and an Outsider Detective in another. A good writer will know this, and will balance the two to say something about power and society.

Tumblr's second-favourite detective Benoit Blanc is a great example of this. Theoretically, Mr. Blanc should be an Insider Detective- he's a world-famous detective, he collaborates with the police, he's odd but respectable. But because of the circumstances he's in- investigating the ultra-rich, who live in their own horrid little bubbles- he comes off as the Outsider Detective, exposing the rot and helping everyone get what they deserve. And that's deliberate. There is no world where a nice, slightly eccentric, mildly fruity, fairly privileged guy like Benoit Blanc should be an outsider. But the turbo-rich live in such an insular world, full of so much contempt for anyone who isn't Them, that even Benoit Blanc gets left out in the cold. It's a scathing political statement, if you think about it.

But even a writer who isn't trying to Say Something About The World will still often veer between making their detective an Insider Detective and an Outsider Detective, because you can tell different kinds of stories within those frameworks. Jessica Fletcher from Murder She Wrote is a really good example of this-- she's a respectable older lady, whose runaway success as a mystery novelist gives her access to some social cachet. Key word: some.

Within her hometown of Cabot Cove, Fletcher is an Insider Detective. She's good friends with the local sheriff, she's incredibly familiar with the town's social dynamics, she can call in a favour from basically anyone... but she's still a little old lady. The second she leaves town, she might run into someone who likes her books... but she's just as likely to run into a police officer who thinks she's crazy or a perp who thinks she's an easy target. She has the incredibly tenuous social power that belongs to a little old lady that everyone likes- and when that's gone, she's incredibly vulnerable.

This is also why a lot of Sherlock Holmes adaptations tend to be so... divisive. Holmes is all things to all people, and depending on which stories you choose to focus on, you can get a very different detective. If you focus on the stories where Holmes collaborates with the police, on the stories with that very special kind of Victorian racism, or the stories where Holmes is fighting Moriarty, you've got an Insider Detective. If you focus on the stories where Holmes is consulting for a Nice Young Lady, on the stories where Holmes' neurodivergence is most prominent, or on his addictions, you've got an Outsider Detective.

Finally, a lot of buddy detective stories have an Insider Detective and an Outsider Detective sharing the spotlight. Think Scully and Mulder, or Judy Hopps and Nick Wilde. This lets the writer play with both pieces of the thematic puzzle at the same time, without sacrificing the consistency of their detective's character.

Back to my original point: if you like detective fiction, you probably like one kind of story better than the other. I know I personally really prefer Outsider Detective Stories to Insider Detective Stories- and while I can enjoy a good Insider Detective (I'd argue that Brother Cadfael, my beloved, is one most of the time), I seek out detectives who don't quite fit into the world they live in more often than not.

And if that's the vibe you're looking for... you're not going to run into a lot of police stories. It's absolutely possible to make a story where a cop (or, even better, an FBI agent) is an Outsider Detective-- Nick Angel from Hot Fuzz was originally going to be one of my 'clear-cut examples' until I remembered that he is, in fact, legally a cop! But a cop who's an Outsider Detective is going to be spending a lot of time butting heads with local law enforcement, to the point where he doesn't particularly feel like one. He's probably going to get fired at some point, and even if his badge gets reinstated, he's going to struggle with his place in the world. And a lot of Outsider Detective stories where the detective is a cop or an FBI agent are intensely political, and not in a conservative way- they have Things To Say about small towns, clannishness, and the injustice that can happen when a Pillar Of The Community does something wrong and everyone looks the other way. (Think Twin Peaks or The Wicker Man.)

Does this mean Insider Detective Stories are Bad Copaganda and Outsider Detective Stories are Good Revolutionary Stories? No. If you take one thing away from this post, please make it that these categories are morally neutral. There are Outsider Detective stories about cops who are Outsiders because they really, really want an excuse to shoot people. There are Insider Detective stories about little old people who are trying to keep misapplied justice from hurting the kids in their community. Neither of these types of stories are good or bad on their own. They're different kinds of storytelling framework and they serve different purposes.

But, if you find yourself really gravitating to certain kinds of mysteries and really put off by other kinds, and you're trying to express why, this might be a framework that's useful for you. If your gender is Boy Detective, but you absolutely loathe cop stories? This might be why.

(PS: @anim-ttrpgs was posting about their game Eureka again, and that got me to make this post- thank them if you're happy to finally see it. Eureka is designed as an Outsider Detective simulator, and so the rules actively forbid you from playing as a cop- they're trying to make it so that you have limited resources and have to rely on your own competence. It's a fantastic looking game and I can't recommend it enough.)

(PPS: I'm probably going to come back to this once I finish Psycho-Pass with my partner, because they said I'd probably have Thoughts.)

(PPPS: Encyclopedia Brown is an Insider Detective, and that's why no one likes him. This is my most controversial detective take.)