#is his inability to commit himself to any work he's not personally invested in

[thatswhatsushesaid]

shitpost dispatches from guanyin temple & the sangyao dungeons - [10/?]

with the important caveat that no, jgy was absolutely not attempting to kill or harm nhs prior to this moment, but I would bet cash money on him exacting some pretty bloody retribution upon his beloved a-sang if he'd survived the events of guanyin temple (and also I think he would win)

[wordsandrobots]

I just don't get it.

I've been dwelling all day on the times I've seen someone claim/state that the characterisation in Iron-Blooded Orphans Season 2 is inconsistent with Season 1 and I still can't understand how people get to that conclusion. Clearly they do. But everything about S2 reads to me as a really straightforward acceleration of the flaws established in S1, and we know from the writing side, the intention was always to have this end in tragedy, even if the timescale changed. (Which, to be clear, is something I think was entirely to the show's benefit, allowing for a midway 'hope spot' where everything works out by the skin of its teeth, driving everyone to greater levels of reckless confidence.)

Most of the major personality rug-pulls happen by the time we hit the build-up to the climax of S1. We go from seeing Orga in his element -- the charismatic, clever military leader taking control of a miserable situation for the sake of his comrades -- to seeing what he's like in the wider world -- winging it, latching on to new ideas like a limpet, chasing the biggest rewards as fast as he can -- to seeing what's underneath it -- his awe/fear of Mika, his inability to do what's smart in the face of what his friends want, and the way he crumbles under the weight of casualties before stubbornly keeping onwards in an effort to turn the loss into a meaningful sacrifice. There is a straight line from the Dort Colonies where Orga gets pressured into becoming involved, to the point everyone insists on going after Jasley, to what happens in the middle of the battle with the Arianrhod Fleet. It's practically the same scene three times over with the desperation on Orga's face dialled up each time.

Same for the others. Despite his light-hearted presentation, Shino is deeply affected by his friends' deaths and commits himself to fighting so they don't have to, ego driving him to do reckless shit that doesn't quite work. Gaelio is a prideful dick who, while he has various good instincts, ultimately acts based on his emotional reactions alone. Hell, Mikazuki is literally introduced firing a gun that knocks him clean off his feet, his body too frail to withstand the violence he's committing on behalf of Orga, who watches with a mix of terror and amazement, that morphs into a teeth-clenched determination to keep going -- because what else do you do when faced with *that* level of devotion at your command?

McGillis is the only one where I can kind of grasp why it would seem inconsistent, because the reveals about the exact shape of his past are left to the back half of S2, and the twist that he was rooting his entire world-view in childish mythology is (deliberately) dissonant with his ruthless manipulation of the rest of the cast. But, like -- he treats Tekkadan as this amazing, miraculous event from the word go. He is heavily invested in imagery (around them, around Kudelia, around the Gundams) and waffles on endlessly about the Calamity War. His wearing of a mask is explicitly framed as playing dress-up, in which he takes a giddy delight. The revelations set all this in a new light, sure. They're hardly inconsistent with it. Not in a show chock full of people caught up in their own ideas about other people and what a better world would mean.

My point is, Iron-Blooded Orphans is about messed-up people in shitty situations making actively terrible life choices because they're trapped inside the event horizons of their own trauma. It is about everyone crushed by indifferent systems of power, shouting loud and proud that they are human beings with hopes and dreams and loves and fears, and smashing them to pieces regardless because that is what *happens* in an unjust world. It runs on its characters' flaws, like any good tragedy, on their flawed reactions to the very real problems they struggle against. Season 2 is an escalating series of runaway trains, each crisis shaping the reaction to the next in worse and worse ways. I could spend ages breaking down how it goes from Tekkadan at the peak of its ability to brazen through problems on sheer guts, to their strength actively working against them even when they are saving the world with it, to where it ends, a tragic, bittersweet peace that, as cynically as it could be read, still contains small triumphs.

At no point does it seem to me to be anything less than extremely clear and consistent about what it is saying. I've had people comment on my fic saying I've fixed the characterisation for them, and I have to state openly, that is not what I thought I was doing! I'm just taking what I saw in the series and extrapolating from it. There *are* parts where I've added stuff, to fill in the gaps you need to when you're making secondary characters into leads. But I know which bits I made up whole-cloth and, well, maybe I'm fooling myself but I don't think I ever had to introduce something to explain anyone's actions in the series itself.

Anyway, sorry for waffling on so long. Please don't take this as me calling anyone daft for where they landed on IBO, it's just that these reactions always make me twitch and wonder if I've hallucinated something over a gap somewhere. Then I go back to all the times Orga rides rough-shod over Biscuit's good advice and -- no! No, the text very firmly set up why this all goes horribly wrong and pays off each and every point like the world's most appalling check-list! You are 100% free to not enjoy that, but it's clearly working as intended

[dramatiique]

The Recruiter

Name: [REDACTED.] (IMPORTANT NOTE - His name is Hyun Eun-seok, which sounds somewhat weak or tragic on the surface but carries hidden power, like Eun-seok (은석), where Eun (은) means "grace" or "mercy" (ironic given his lack of empathy) and Seok (석) means "stone." However, nobody knows his real name apart from Oh, Il Nam and whichever person becomes the Front Man. There is the possibility he will reveal his name in threads but only if he wants to and a connection has been established.)

Alias: The Recruiter; known for his role in recruiting new players into the Game.

Age: 38; started working for the Game at 16 (in the 2004 version.)

Date of birth: 15th October, 1986.

Physical Appearance

Height: 6'2" (188 cm)

Build: Lean but muscular, with a physique honed from hand-to-hand combat and years of physical training.

Hair: Dark brown, always neatly styled, never a strand out of place.

Eyes: Sharp, calculating brown eyes. Often appears calm and collected, but can flash with dangerous intensity when angered.

Clothing: Wears sharp, well-tailored suits when outside of the Game. His pristine, catalogue-perfect apartment mirrors his fastidious nature. He wears casual clothes to bed (simple t-shirts and lounge pants) and tracksuits (bright ones because he thinks it's amusing) when working out.

Backstory

The Recruiter’s story begins in Seoul, where he was born into a poverty-stricken home. His father was a man consumed by greed and addiction; often involving himself in gambling and debt. He often lost jobs because of his inability to commit himself to anything. The Recruiter's mother once worked as a kindergarten teacher but had to give up her job after she was diagnosed with a brain tumor. She and her husband tried to scrape together what money they had for treatment, but even after taking out their emergency savings, they still couldn't afford it. Their debt continued to pile up as his father took out multiple loans. It still wasn't enough.

The Recruiter was thirteen when his mother passed away and the tragedy sent his father into a spiral of depression and self-hatred. Even as the Recruiter worked multiple jobs to try and cover their remaining debt while keeping their current home afloat and their mouths fed, his father's obsession with gambling and making a quick buck returned in full force. He invested in pyramid schemes using the bereavement money that was left to them. Time and time again, he was scammed, leaving he and his son with nothing. When The Recruiter tried to make his father see how much worse he was making their lives, the situation took a nasty turn and violence became a constant part of their home life.

At 14, the Recruiter left home, deciding he could no longer live with that disgusting, pathetic man. He wandered the streets and struggled to survive; he despised his father for being too weak to protect the family. His bitterness towards poverty and those who were "too weak to fight" burned in him, fuelling his hatred of the lower class. For two years, he bounced from place to place, until a worker for the Games took notice of his brutality when they witnessed a vicious fight between the Recruiter and a man in the street.

At 16, the Recruiter was invited to the Game as a masked guard—a position that introduced him to a new world of violence, power, and order. Figuring he had nothing to lose, the Recruiter accepted and went along to the isolated island where the Game takes place. At first, he started out transporting and burning the bodies of the losers of the Game. Over time, the creators, particularly Oh Il-nam, saw potential in him. His ruthlessness during a crucial task—executing his own father during one of the games—proved that he could be trusted to follow through on any order. Even as his father, who was there to make up for his wrongdoings, was crying and pleading in front of him (with no knowledge that it was his son holding the gun) the Recruiter felt no sympathy or love. He shot him in the head without hesitation or remorse. He even felt joy while doing so, coming to understand that this was the sort of life he was cut out for. For once in his life, he felt like his existence was finally being acknowledged. His promotion was swift, and his loyalty to the system of the Game became unwavering.

Personality

The Recruiter is a cold and calculating psychopath with a twisted sense of superiority. He views people as disposable, especially those who are poor and desperate. He believes that misery is a reflection of moral weakness and that people who suffer deserve to suffer more. To him, the Game is a cleansing process, a way to weed out the unworthy.

While outwardly charming, polite, and well-spoken, there is an undercurrent of menace in everything he says. He enjoys manipulating people, playing psychological games, and watching others squirm in fear. He is sadistic, deriving pleasure from terrorizing those he deems unworthy, and takes satisfaction in their suffering. Yet, he is also a masochist—finding pleasure in pain, particularly when it serves to reinforce his belief that the world is cruel and only the strong survive.

The Recruiter is unpredictable. He can be calm and reserved one moment, and violent the next. He is adept at controlling his emotions but can fly into a fit of rage if something challenges his worldview. He is skilled in hand-to-hand combat and can easily hold his own in dangerous situations.

Despite his charm and intelligence, he is emotionally detached and seems incapable of forming real, lasting relationships. He doesn't believe in love or friendship, viewing such attachments as bothersome. However, there’s a possibility that, over time, someone might be able to break through his cold exterior—though the relationship would likely be an extremely toxic one.

Motivations & Goals

The Recruiter’s main motivation is to climb the ranks of the Game system. Having gained the trust of Oh Il-nam and the Game's organizers, he now enjoys privileges outside the Game. His role as a recruiter allows him to bring in new contestants by enticing them with a false promise of money or freedom, but his true goal is to prove the superiority of those who are “chosen” by the Game.

His worldview is warped; he believes that certain parts of society need to be purged. He justifies the Game’s violence as a necessary evil, a way of eliminating those who are too feeble to survive in the world. He thrives on chaos, using his job as a recruiter to play dangerous games with people, testing their desperation, and enjoying the power he has over them.

Skills & Abilities

Psychological Manipulation: The Recruiter is a master at reading people and exploiting their weaknesses. He uses this ability to manipulate potential players, toying with them before offering them a way into the Game.

Combat Proficiency: He is highly skilled in hand-to-hand combat and can incapacitate opponents with brutal efficiency. His training as a masked guard makes him highly capable in any physical confrontation.

Charisma and Eloquence: Despite his twisted nature, the Recruiter can charm people with his smooth, confident speech. He knows how to put others at ease while hiding his true intentions.

Survival Instincts: Having grown up on the streets, he’s highly resourceful and capable of surviving in harsh environments. His background in street fighting and his years working as a guard make him a dangerous person to encounter.

Weaknesses

Unpredictability: His volatile nature makes him a liability. While he is loyal to the Game's system, he is also prone to fits of rage, which can lead to impulsive decisions that may not align with the organization’s interests.

Emotional Detachment: He is incapable of forming healthy relationships, which can leave him vulnerable to psychological breakdowns if his façade begins to crack.

Hubris: His belief in his superiority and his belief that the world is cruel could lead to overconfidence, making him underestimate opponents or overlook potential threats.

Role in the Story

The Recruiter serves as a key antagonist in the Squid Game universe. He operates as a bridge between the organization and the real world, luring new players into the deadly game of survival. His twisted moral views and sadistic personality make him a fascinating character, one who embodies the dark nature of the Game. His role as a recruiter and his unpredictable nature make him a dangerous wildcard in the system, capable of causing chaos at any moment.

Additional Info

To earn privileges outside of the Game, workers are given the opportunity to participate in their own version of the Game, where the stakes are high—losing means death. This not only tests their mettle but also allows the organizers to evaluate their equipment and experiment with new games before the real Game begins. The Recruiter proved his worth in one of these deadly competitions, emerging victorious, which cemented his elevated position within the organization. Unlike the participants, who fight for a massive cash prize, the workers compete for power and status. In this worker-only version of the Game, competitors wear pink tracksuits, mirroring the pink suits worn when they act as guards. This distinct choice reflects the organizers' obsession with aesthetics, where pink signifies the workers, while green is reserved for the actual participants recruited through the yearly process.

[angstyantoinette]

Yandere!Howl Jenkins Pendragon x Reader Headcanons

Warnings: Slight NSFW [mention], kidnapping, manipulation, toxic relationships. 

We all know that Howl is very much a ladies man; he knows exactly how to pull women in, and captivate them so that they fall in love with him easily. 

For Howl, it’s all a game. He catches the eye of a girl, no interest on his part of course. She just happens to be in his line of the game. He knows what to say, how to present himself to perfectly fluster and simultaneously intimidate every other person there. He doesn’t venture outside the castle often, and when he does, there’s an air of fear; there’s such awe left in his wake. 

And he loves it. This drama queen feeds off it.

But we also know that Howl is a runner. He cannot commit to anything, hating the restricting nature of feeling tied down. I mean, he abandoned his apprenticeship. With this in mind, Howl makes the most unlikely yandere. But he actually is highly dangerous, although he doesn’t really look like it.

He’s afraid of himself in a way. He understands that he is quite powerful, and after practically going rogue, Howl gets his kicks with spontaneity, with the complete unexpected in life. 

When he meets you, he expects you to give him all your attention, like everyone else. But you brushed past him, looking at his fancy clothes, his blonde hair, sapphire eyes, green jewels swinging from his ears, and the beautiful pendant around his neck. He was picturing it now in his mind, getting ready for the look of adoration, the tense of muscles, the scarlet blush upon your cheeks.

But you looked away. You gathered your belongings, perhaps stowing them away in your satchel, and you just looked away.

What?

Is that it?

You weren’t even interested in him. Howl was still so stunned he had nothing to say, no suave and seductive voice to tempt you into his charms. He was in awe of you; you looked at him with such indifference it made his head hurt. Not with heartache or pain or anything like that. But he could not deny that he wasn’t curious.

Well, of course, not only does this not sit too well with Howl, he is very much a delusional person in this kind of state. However, he is incredibly smart and calculating and he balances these two personalities scarily very well. 

Like I said before, Howl is a very dangerous yandere, and he thrives on his blantant misinterpretation of a mere womanizer to scamper away, unsuspected, unscathed, and free to do what he likes.

Howl doesn’t really hold on to grudges that much, or anything; when he loses interest, he tosses things away. Not all though. 

You, you, YOU. 

Why won’t you leave his weary mind after days of being apart? Why is his  conciousness telling him to look for you, and not relent until he’s succeeded in doing so? Despite all the signs, all of the telltale signs that shows he’s just a little too invested in you, he writes it off as his bad habits resurfacing to play another game. 

And, of course, Howl Jenkins shall oblige!

Howl is a patient man, make no mistake. He finds it enjoyable to watch things go down for a while; no matter how trivial, poking fun in plain sight at innocent civilians never gets old. 

When he finally gives in to trying to find you and play with you for a little while, Howl pushes aside all distractions to do so. That means traveling through counties and villages, towns and cities until he’s found you again.

Howl is desperate for love and affection that isn’t because of his looks. He really wants someone to love him, not the image he puts across, not just above the surface with his tantalizing blue eyes that pull you in and trap you. 

You saw through that. You barely gave him a second glance and while it peaked his interest initially, it annoyed him for days on end. Usually being teasing and indifferent to Calcifer’s complaining, he found himself snapping and getting easily annoyed. Markl began to subtly keep his distance on bad days. 

Now, though, he’s become delusional. In Howl’s mind, you are to blame for his interest, for his inability to keep his mind off of you. You are the sole reason for his burgeoning obsession that seems to be running the show. He tells himself that when he finds you, it’ll leave. This painful, utterly agonising sensation of having you in his grasp, playing his game will go far away. He’ll seduce you, definitely, take you to bed and have a good time and his obsession and all-consuming desire to play the game, just you and him will just...go. Poof.

Except when Howl does find you, he doesn’t feel like letting go of you. 

Ever. 

And while this does take him by surprise, it all starts to make sense for him. 

Because looking at you now, bundled up in his arms, crying in anger and confusion, he sees in the stars that this was meant to be. 

He waits until he’s sure you’re asleep [more like passed out from exhaustion-] to really, really get a good look at you. He notices for the first time your cheeks and how they’re squished against his pillows and wrapped up in his sheets so perfectly, it’s like you’ve been here many times before. He notes how relaxed your closed eyes seem to be, no furrowed brow or scrunched tight eyelids; just complete and utter serenity. 

You’re just so perfect. Could you be a god, some kind of deity perhaps?

He’s in love for the first time in a long time. He may have let it slip by then, selfish and uncaring, but now?

Oh no, Darling, you don’t stand a chance. Howl will do anything to keep you hidden from those bastards’ eyes  protect you, to love you and most of all, make you see that he’s the one for you.

 Always.

You sat in the boiling water filling the bathtub, limp and tired, unresponsive as Howl bustled around you, his task completely focused on getting you ready for bed. Once upon a time, you would have refused to call him by name; instead you settled for ‘bastard’, ‘prick’, and ‘I hate you’. 

You even tried to sleepily mutter these things under your breath, not caring now that you were being lifted out of the bath, and dressed in a white gown. You cared even less when feeling your mind slip away into a soft sleep, curling into your body with comfort, clinging onto Howl’s pillows.

However, in front of his ‘housemates’ [ you could only guess what a talking fireplace could have to do with his wacky moving castle ], you were frightened. Howl didn’t even have to say a word; he had you smiling and  acting somewhat normally in front of ‘Calcifer’ and the little boy, Markl, you thought his name was. 

But you could always feel the sliver of magic take a hold of your wrists from behind, a little voice telling you that staying here was for your best interest, what more could you want? It promised you eternal love, devotion and affection, coated with a sickly sweetness only Howl could pull off. 

All in all, you stopped resisting after a while. Howl was annoyingly patient it seemed, and it frustrated you to feel as though you were a child all over again. He smothered you, insisting on doing the most trivial of things for you, never snapping back at you, never doing anything to remotely answer back at you in the same manner whenever you resisted his help.

It didn’t click until you had cursed at him mercilessly, screeching and crying, pulling at your combed hair, that by acting like this; he looked better than you. He looked above you. Compared to your tantrums, Howl looked calm and collected and completely willing to help you in any way possible. 

But why was he doing all of this? 

Why did you wake up in his bed, with his lanky arms draped all over you as if you were lovers? Why was he spoiling you, letting you wear his clothes, feeding you? What was he trying to convince you of? 

“Darling, I have some new nightclothes for you. Do you want me to help you into them?” He was slower, more gentle tonight as he strolled around his room. He was delberate though, not forceful exactly, but it was more of an atmospherical warning. You could just tell; if little Y/N tried anything, something would happen. 

Some kind of spell, or perhaps even a curse to teach you a lesson.

Ah, there it was. Another gift. 

Did he think you’d simply tolerate him because of his lavish, his blatantly excessive gift-giving?

Why did he look at you with such sickening adoration on his flawless features? 

At last, his bustling seemed to cease and he took a longing glace back at you. He probably only meant it to last a few seconds but the longer he gazed, it just became a cold and glassy stare. 

You knew the feeling of ‘zoning out’ well, but his eyes became darker and darker. Some kind of shadow must have passed over him or something, because he snapped out of his eerie trance and threw himself onto the bed. 

You yelped in surprise, pulling your hands to your sides, hastily spreading them out on the soft quilt like spiders, your legs pushing your body back ever so slightly, eyes wide. 

Howl chuckled, but it was filled with a sinister undertone that you weren’t used to at all. He snapped his head to the right, his hands already unraveling a silk-encased package. 

“I saw these while in the town today and couldn’t help myself.” 

Pulling out the brand new nightclothes, you unwillingly let out a pleased gasp. It was a set of matching pyjamas. They were satin, smooth to the touch and a beautiful shade of emerald, not too bright at all, but not dark either. 

Sometimes, you enjoyed this sort of treatment from Howl, albeit, very guiltily. He was always polite, courteous and kind, willing to help you with anything, but you also couldn’t help but feel a sense of horror, lingering long after you fell asleep. As if it were some kind of parasite. You just couldn’t for the life of you place your finger on it. 

You had learned to never keep him waiting for anything; he was a busy man and as much as he liked to have free reign of his work, he liked to be organised too.

This time you had apparently spent too long admiring your gift rather than answering him.

“Isn’t it lovely, Y/N? I thought it would suit you divinely.”

“Y-yes, it’s beautiful, thanks so much H-Howl.” 

Not wasting any more time, he sat up from his previous position on the bed, and somehow managed to gracefully snatch the nightclothes away from your trembling hands, and shooting you a look as if to say, well, take your clothes off. That was the less sinister version. Howl’s eyes took on a new darkness that growled, or I’ll do it myself. 

Your hands flew to your neckline, undoing the small ribbon that held the soft cotton on you, and allowed Howl to thread his fingers through the material, travelling towards the bottom of the garment and pulling it over your head whilst you lifted your arms, feeling the comfort of the soft sleeves peel off your arms. 

The blush on your face was unmistakeable. It was another embarassment being bathed by him, but this? Stripping you out of your clothes? It didn’t help that he was aware of your inner battle, and having an annoying, but otherwise barely noticeable smile on his face. 

His hand reached over with the satin nightclothes, urging you to take them. You did, carefully so, slipping them on against your flushed body, his cerulean orbs watching intensely. 

As if he didn’t want the image to go away. 

When you had finished dressing yourself, you stood up and  tentatively walked to the mirror, even slightly stumbling on your feet, and gasped in pleased surprise. You looked...beautiful in the nightclothes. The satin felt so smooth on your skin, and the emerald shade brought out your e/c eyes nicely. 

A few moments later though, you gasped for a whole different reason. Howl slipped his hands around the front of your torso, letting them wander further and further down, reaching your thighs with a renewed urgency, pressing you back against his body.

“I didn’t hear a ‘thank you’, darling.” His tone was teasing, but you could detect a hint of anger, annoyance was it? As quickly as the shadows came they departed, leaving you at the mercy of the wizard Howl. 

“No matter,” he rasped against the nape of your neck, placing soft, heated kisses against your skin,”You can say thank you, whilst begging on your knees.”

----------------------------------------------------------

sorry about that ending, it just needed to come to an end before i drove myself mad with the procrastination :)

but what did you think of it?? there really isn’t enough Howl’s Moving Castle fics, let alone yandere ones, but i like how it came out. 

to the person who requested this, Howl, is 100000% the gentle dom we ALL NEED OKAY

[faerienextdoor]

pastas and your insecurities

tw: i think depictions/descriptions of stretch marks may trigger some people! and mentions of scars, but no specification

Brian, cellulite and stretchmarks:

- he is a gentle himbo soul. He calls your stretch marks your lovemarks and lightning bolts.

- he loves the bumps and grooves on the back of your comfy thighs. thighs he's constantly found himself resting his head in when his head rumbled and ached from a migraine.

- you're a gift to him and the world.

- and he wants you to feel like you're perfect. because you are, to him.

- during cuddle time, he rests his head on your tummy, snuggled between your thighs.

- he'll lift your shirt and kiss the marks that travel up your tummy, and smile at you as his kisses tickle your soft skin

- "have I ever told you how beautiful you are?"

- he asks that so innocently and with so much sincerity. it can melt the hardest of asses.

- he is your personal hype man! If you wear something you usually wouldn't, he'd stop to stare for a while at first

- then breaks out in a giant happy grin, and pulls you into him.

- grabs your hand, and spins you around.

- all that shit. so he can get a good look at you

- kisses the crown of your head gently

- "how did I ever get so lucky?"

jeff, and scars:

- his initial reaction is to laugh off your insecurities

- he's used to joking around what he hated about himself and knows he doesn't want anyone delving in, and finds it more comforting for them to laugh it off with him

- but the laughter dies down and the smiling bastard is frowning at you now

- he knows what it's like to hate your scars. He's picked and tried to scrape off his own burnt flesh, and made them worse in the bed.

- "what the fuck are you on about? c'mere"

- he aggressively loves you. He doesn't want you to feel like how he feels about himself.

- he'll kiss any patch of scarred skin he has permission to and can get to. even if it's an awkward place, his thin lips are pressing his love to them.

- "beautiful. gorgeous. handsome. I could never get enough of you"

- he mutters compliments to you and holds you, pressing his face into the curve of your neck. he breathes in your smell and let's it out in a soft sigh

- "never talk bullshit about yourself again, you got it?"

- he won't take any of your negativity from then on out

- in his eyes: he's the only one who can tease you

Tim, stretch marks and thighs:

- he's a big dude himself. and in the best, most pleasant way.

- he has muscle + fat. a good mix that has made him the best cuddle buddy

- you've told him yourself. So why do you put yourself down for what you love about him?

- he loves how cats can curl so happily on your sun soaked lap in middle of summer

- he loves your beautiful marks, and finds them to be so unique and beautiful on you

- the deep grooves he can't keep his hands away from when you're cuddled (skin to skin, or with very little clothes)

- he looks you in the eyes and gently tells you how you make him feel

- "you make me the happiest I've been in... a long time."

- Masky loves your form too. He loves how it looks in tims shirts or a tight fitting outfit.

- masky rests his heavy head in your lap in the most annoying way.

- I'm talking about forcing himself in your personal space, just for some sugar

- and he's content laying there for /hours/

- and you bet your ass you're not moving an INCH unless you threaten to piss on the couch/bed

- "gorgeous"

- he compliments you in a blunt way

- and when you feel especially down, you'll find extra shiny rocks in your pockets

jane, voice:

- she could listen to your voice for hours

- or the rest of eternity

- and she damn well should

- when she's stressed and unable to nap, she'll beg you to tell her how your day has been. and in the most detailed way imaginable. tell her which direction the blender spun when it churned up your fruity smoothie

- and pretty soon her eyes are fluttering shut and sleep is welcoming her like an old friend

- "oh dearie, want to talk about it?"

- she sets everything aside for you. she wants you to spill your feeling guts out so she can make sense of it all. it doesn't make sense. your voice soothes her and makes her feel so happy. it's tender and gentle on her canals.

- she holds your hands and makes you look her in the eyes. she tells you how she sometimes can't sleep without you talking to her. she's fallen asleep countless times by your side because of your voice alone

- and she swears you are an angel from above with an voice as soothing and musical as yours.

- when she misses any of your calls, she'll pray that you left her a voicemail

- and instead of texting, she'll call to hear your voice. even if it's a simple topic that can be solved better through messages

Helen, hip dips/tummy:

- you're like the most perfectly sculpted statue to him. or a portrait made with the best paints and spent the most amount of time on

- he's breathless by your beauty constantly

- and he's a flustered blubbering mess. unable to find his words or compose himself when you so much as smile at him

- god knows how he managed to land a date with you. or a committed relationship.

- he begs to paint you and that's when the topic comes up

- he sits there and listens patiently, frowning more and more as you spill your squishy heart out to him

- he's silent for a moment

- "but I think you're beautiful."

- he isn't sure how to say it. but to him, god spent the most time on you

- you stun him anytime you enter a room

- and he takes extra care of you. he makes sure to compliment you more and more, hoping his words and the love he manages to shower you in is enough to mend you

- it probably isn't, because that might not be how it works for everyone, but he's trying and will do anything it takes for his lovely

- he's extra touchy, hugging you closer. you can feel his heart beating against your back as he holds you to him, back to his chest.

- "you always look so beautiful without even trying... how?"

- and he kisses you

- you'll get some good ol' helen lovin'

Ben, acne/eczema:

- let's get something straight first: he's a tit. a whole one. he's teased you before but never jabbed at insecurities

- and he did it to show his love at first

- but here you are, mumbling about how you hate your acne and the deep scars it's left on your back and face.

- "that just means your skin is oily"

"I wish it wasn't. it makes me look /ugly/"

- he stops right then and there, turning to stare at you like you insulted his entire family tree

- and you may as well have

- he tells you to never say that again and doesn't listen to excuses

- takes your face in his hands and makes you swear on it

- he kisses all over your face

- "I'll do face masks and shit with you if it'll make you happy"

- and he follows through with that!

- when he's at the store he buys new products to try, and he reassures you that your skin will get better eventually when you're upset over his glow

- he had a hell of a lot of acne when he was alive and a thriving teen

- and he can't find words to explain how beautiful you are to him

- you just are and he assumes it's common knowledge

- to you and everyone else

- he won't let you talk shit about yourself, and won't let anyone else do that either

LJ, face shape/proportions:

- he just frowns insecurities at first

- isn't there more to worry about?

- he sees it genuinely dishearten you and softens. he gently takes his claws through your hair, mumbling about how he didn't know it bothered you so much

- "...but it's.. your face?"

- he winces at his own stupidity and inability to comfort someone else

- he lets you ramble it all out and tells you the hard truth: there isn't a lot you can do. plastic surgery is expensive and often gets botched, and there's people out there who'd kill for a face like your own

- he's a hard ass but a very very loveable one

- he kisses you and holds you to him, telling you that he loves you over and over

- the next day he's arranged a day to yourself so you aren't stressing your weak squish brain.

- he's taken care of your household responsibilities for you and brings in your favorite snacks

- puts on your favorite show or movie and cuddles you the rest of the day

- he holds you so securely and protectively, even when it's just the two of you

- no one will get their hands on you or make you feel bad about yourself

- not whole, he still has a good ass kicking in him left.

Toby, and scars:

- he knows what it's like. he has scars up and down his arms and over his back from the car wreck and faint ones on the side of his fingers from how he tore his skin down to the bone with his his teeth

- he doesn't take the same approach as jeff, and instead wants you to talk it all out and cry until you're exhausted

- he tells you every scar has a story and he loves yours

- because it brought you right to him

- and he couldn't have made it through most of the shit he has without you.

- "I l-luh-love you"

- you make him feel better about himself and he wants you to feel the same way with him

- he'll gently brush his fingers across your scars, tough so light and airy you can barely feel it

- he's always ready to listen to how you got them

- no matter how stupid or not badass the story may be, he's invested because you're his storybook

- and he can't wait to dig in and read it again and again

Ej, big nose:

- he's always found himself gazing at your profile from his spot. anytime he can see it, he traces it silently with just his eyes

- and he looks away flustered

- he thinks it's fits your face. he doesn't take listening to you talk about a nose job or anyone else's straight bridged nose

- yours is perfect and he can't picture you with another one

- he lifts his mask and presses a kiss to the bridge or the tip of it often

- and he loves watching your face flush red in reaction

- "I think it looks lovely on you"

- and he'll tell you that every single day if he has to

- with him being an immortal demon means he has plenty of time

- as long as you're glued to his side he's telling you how much he adores the features that are plastered to your face

[thiswasinevitableid]

Hi there! If you're feeling it for mermay, I would like to request #9: folklore with OT4? No preference on rating: go with whatever feels best! Thank you so much and I hope you have a nice day!

Here you go! I went SFW on this one.

“You did what??” Dani stares at Barclay, shocked.

“I offered him a job. He needed work while he was here in town for his research, and he seemed nice, and, uh, and-”

“And attractive.” Indrid adds, turning to a new page in his sketchbook.

“Branchin out a little from your usual type, sugar.” Duck kisses his cheek.

“Barclay, he’s a folklorist. A folklorist who specifically studies selkies.”

“Yeah he, uh, he said so. I figured if he’s working for me, or even if he wants me to show him around, I can steer him away from all the selkies.”

“Except for the one showing him around.” Dani gives him a look only an older sister could give.

“It’s not like he’s gonna see me transform.” Barclay mutters.

The meeting ends much as it began; with everyone agreeing that the new guy in town was a potential threat and should be given absolutely no information whatsoever. It’s not that Barclay doesn’t see the man, who introduced himself as Joseph Stern, as someone after Keplers secrets. It’s more that the guy uprooted his entire life to come to an obscure, Alaskan bay in hopes of finding the thing he wants most in the world. Barclay sympathizes. 

Kepler is notorious among selkies; a safe haven, a place where there are humans who will protect them, help them, even love them. More than one enterprising selkie, trapped in a loveless marriage or unending servitude, has tricked the human who betrayed them into going north. It’s rare that a human who committed such a breach of trust remains there long; and they always give the pelt back, usually while packing their things in a desperate rush.

It’s a pity, then, that Barclay never got the man who tricked him up here.

He finishes the dinner rush at Amnesty Lodge, located on the edge of the bay and a welcome stop for travelers from land and water alike. As he usually does this time of night, he heads to a dock, far from the lights of town or the ships out at sea, and sits with his feet in the water, solitary and solemn. Tonight, he’s not alone for long. 

Silvery hair emerges from the water as Indrid, now sporting a lovely grey tail, swims over to him. They met when Barclay first came here, Indrid more than a little odd but appreciative of Barclays skill in the kitchen and bedroom in ways he’d been without for years. The gift of future vision meant Indrid was nomadic, in that he was determined to use his powers to prevent tragedy whenever he could, and so one day he swam away from Kepler.

Barclay didn’t see him for years. No one did. Until a ranger by the name of Duck Newton was helping tag seals that kept swimming too far up the salmon runs and got the shock of his life when the one he caught turned into a man as he was holding him. Indrid pointed out that his ear was already pierced and if they needed him to hunt somewhere else they could just ask. Duck who, in spite of living in Kepler for years, did not believe in the supernatural until he was holding it, offered the first apology that came to mind, which included inviting Indrid to dinner.

They’ve been dating for two years now.

Indrid rises from the water enough to rest his head in Barclay’s lap, “Come stay with us tonight.”

“I...do you really want me to?”

“If you do not, you spend all night brooding and unable to sleep, thus making for a miserable morning. Too, I am rather fond of your company.” Indrid tilts his chin up with a grin and Barclay leans down to kiss him, “and before you ask, yes, Duck remains fine with this. He says, and I quote ‘Barclay’s my friend and also if you’re hugging him I can escape bed long enough to get ready for work.”

He chuckles, “Okay, I’ll be over soon. I, uh, is there any chance-”

“No” Indrid shakes his head with a sigh, rubs his cheek against Barclays leg, “there are still no futures where we find your coat. Wherever that bastard sent it, he hid it well.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Barclay’is in trouble; not only is Joseph a good cook, he’s good company too. He finishes his shifts sweaty and exhausted, same as Barclay, and the selkie wonders what it would be like to see him breathless and red faced in other contexts. He suspects he’s not the only one.

Joseph’s research regularly takes him into the national forest or the adjoining state park on the beach, meaning he’s routinely running into Duck. The ranger initially worried his inability to lie convincingly would be a problem. But after some cursory questions that Indrid saw coming and coached him through technically true responses to, he and Joseph have struck up a passing friendship. 

“Joseph is also very interested in his love life” Indrid reveals while swimming circles around Barclay as he stands in the cold water, “not that I blame him. He has excellent taste in men. Present company included.”

“He’s just being nice to me. And I’m practically his boss.”

Indrid pauses his swimming to stare at him, “Dearest, when he’s not working, what does he do?”

“Uh, crosswords? Or he reads, and he likes trying new restaurants and going to movies.”

“And you know all this how?”

“Because he does it near me or asks me to go with him. Oh, uh, huh. Maybe he does have a thing for me.”

Indrid floats into his arms, kisses him, “invite him to dinner. The others at the Lodge are, understandably, still wary of him and don’t want him around. But there’s no harm in him having over for a meal.”

Barclay pulls Indrid closer, tickles his cheek with his beard as he teases, “Seems like I’m not the only one with a crush on him.”

“Not in the slightest.” Indrid grins, “Our lives have not been easy. I don’t know about you, but I intend to embrace affection and love whenever the opportunity presents itself. “

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There’s no way Joseph is passing up this opportunity. 

He’d been refilling his travel mug at the complementary coffee kiosk in the Lodge and asked if anyone happened to know which rivers had the most reported selkie sightings. After each blurting out a different answer, his fellow guests (tenants, really) decided on the Bluff Creek river as the best option.

He wonders if they know just how obvious it is that they’re hiding something. 

Joseph is well aware that folklorists are seen as credulous and gullible. He uses that to his advantage. There’s no reason for anyone to know about his seven years in the FBI prior to this. No reason for them to know he knows that Dani will propose to Aubrey soon, that Jake is sneaking out every night, that Barclay is searching for something as intensely as Joseph is. 

Most nights, he falls asleep under a burnt orange bedspread dreaming that he’s what the cook is looking for. 

Barclays feelings for him are one of the few things at Amnesty he can’t decipher. He offers him a job, takes a personal interest in his welfare, and makes him coffee just how he likes it. Every single morning. But he gets jittery when Joseph asks him about himself, and some days he outright hides from him until they’re in the kitchen. 

The dinners with Indrid and Duck aren’t helping his confusion. Barclay practically holds his hand during them, but turns pink whenever Indrid winks at him. And Duck…well, Joseph knows he’s good looking, and he’s never had a hard time hooking up while traveling. The rangers attention just makes him so hot under the collar he wants to strip down at the table. Which is why he can’t decide if Duck agreeing to be his guide on the river is a stroke of luck or a brilliant plan to keep him from noticing things they don’t want him to see. 

When Duck meets him at the dock, his casual outdoor clothes unfairly flattering (Indrid likes the uniform better, but Joseph finds it hides too much of Duck’s arms and chest), he decides there’s no point in looking a gift hunk in the mouth. 

They paddle upriver, trading bad, pun-based jokes until the wind picks up and drowns their voices out. It’s slow going, and there’s no sign of a selkie, but Duck remains excellent company. They make camp an hour before sunset, in a two man tent that leaves them smushed shoulder to shoulder. 

As they’re comparing notes on growing up trans in a small town, Joseph shares the story of the time he nearly broke his tailbone after slipping on a packer he left on the floor. Duck guffaws, shaking the tent as he does, and ends up giggling into Joseph’s shoulder as they both wipe tears from their eyes.

“You have a great laugh, you know that?”

“Sound like a bird of paradise gettin hit by an accordion.” Duck isn’t moving his head.

“That’s a remarkably accurate description, but my point stands.”

He feels Duck turn his head, “Joe? Would, uh, would it be okay if I kissed you? You can say no, swear I won’t abandon you or leave you for the bears so some shit. Just, uh, been thinkin about it all day and figured I’d ask.”

“It won’t upset Indrid?” He slides his hand from his sleeping bag to hold Duck’s own. 

“Nah. He and I talked about it. And, uh, his uh, his social circles ain’t super invested in monogamy.”

“Oh. Um” He wants to roll over, wants to pin Duck and kiss him until dawn. But if he does, it might mean he never gets a chance to do the same to a certain someone else, someone who he wishes would just tell him how he felt-

“If it, uh, helps any, happen to know Barclay sees things the same way ‘Drid does.” 

“In that case…” he crawls from the sleeping bag, Duck unzipping his own and kicking it open so there’s nothing to stop Joseph’s hands as they stroke and grope their way across his body, “I have a proposal for you.”

Unsurprisingly, they get a late start the next day. As Joseph is paddling, he spots a tail flipping out of the water, far too large to be an otter. Before he can say anything, the roar of the river changes, turning rougher and deeper.

“Fuck, the snowmelt must’ve started earlier than usual, these rapids normally ain’t this big.”

“Should we try to reverse?”

“Maybe we can, nope, fuck, okay we’re goin through whether we like it or not, try’n stay low and hold on.”

Duck’s excellent advice goes out the window at the same instant Joseph goes out of the boat, a swell catching him off guard. He hits a rock at just the wrong angle, pain shooting up his wrist as he releases his paddle. He’s not panicking, but the more he fights to keep his head up, the closer he gets. 

Then an arm is around his waist, pulling him to shore. He has just enough time to see his rescuer has a grey tail before they disappear under the water. There’s no sign of the boat or of Duck. A tremendous splash resolves one of those problems. 

“Duck!” He hurries to where the ranger coughs water onto the pebbles, “thank the lord.”

“Nah” he coughs again, “thank him.” He gestures weakly to the familiar face and torso now attached to a tail coated in silver-grey fur. 

“You’re a selkie.” Joseph scoots across the rocky ground. 

“Indeed.” Indrid taps his fingers together, “I, ah, I am sorry my love. I know we agreed he could not know, but when the timelines showed the rapids most of them involved you both going into the river and in, in many of them one or both of you was knocked unconscious on the stones and did not resurface. I could not let that happen to you. Either of you.”

Joseph reaches out reverently with his uninjured hand, and Indrid guides his tail to meet him. It’s exquisite to touch, and as he smooths his fingers along it, Indrid purrs and rolls onto his back. 

“Mmmm, already you are proving why it was worth it to save you.” Indrid grins, wiggling closer. 

“You, uh, you ain’t angry at us for hidin it from you?” Duck guides Indrid’s head into his lap, petting his hair, looking warily at Joseph.

“Duck, I’ve known you and the rest of the people at the Lodge were hiding things from me, and that given the towns reputation those things were probably related to selkies. It’s not like there aren’t dangers to people learning about selkies and where they live, and I never made it clear whether my research would lead to that. It hurts not to be trusted but, well, I’m used to it.” He looks down at where Indrid is nuzzling Duck’s belly, “I promise, I won’t put you or any of the others in danger.”

“Mmmm” Indrid’s tail relaxes under his hands, “apologies, I am listening, but it took a great deal of energy to reach you in time and pull you from the water. I think I shall nap until our ride comes.”

“Uh, think you’re gonna nap in the car.” Duck tilts his head towards the treeline, where the rumble of an engine rattles up the abandoned logging road. A minute later, a door slams and Barclay appears from the trees. 

“Fuck, he wasn’t kidding that you had rough time.” Barclay helps Joseph into the back seat while Indrid, now sporting legs, climbs into the front, “Duck, med kit is behind the drivers seat.”

“Great. Joe, c’mere, I can secure your wrist and get you some painkillers.”

“Right. Thanks.” He turns back to Barclay, eyebrow raised.

“Guess, uh, guess we have a lot to talk about later. I, uh, I should probably just tell you the big thing now. I’m uh, I’m like Indrid.”

Joseph smiles, “I guessed as much the moment Indrid revealed himself.”

“Oh.”

“Is there, um, anything else you want to tell me sooner rather than later?”

Barclay’s honey-rich baritone comes out as shy as a first kiss, “If you said you’d go out with me, it’d make my whole fucking year.”

Joseph murmurs in his ear, “The instant I’m out of the hospital, you’re taking me to dinner.”

------------------------------------------------

There’s a sturdy hammock at the edge of Duck’s yard, overlooking the river. Joseph had no interest in it until he discovered it was the perfect size to have Barclay lay in so he could then lay on his chest. They’re in that configuration when he asks the question he’s been putting off for fear of upsetting his boyfriend. 

“How did you end up in Kepler? Were you born here?”

“No.” Barclay’s hands settle on his back, “I grew up off the coast of California. There was a guy, a human, we’d been friends since we were teenagers. As we got older he got, uh, he got it into his head that we could go on the road as like a, uh, a sideshow act. That people would pay big money to see a real selkie. I hated the fucking idea, told him to drop it, and he did, went back to being the considerate, cool guy he’d been when we met. He made a big dinner for my birthday, invited me over and…” his fists tighten in Joseph’s shirt, “and when I was there, he stole my coat.”

“Oh, Barclay” Joseph pets his chest, “I’m so sorry.”

“I agreed to work with him because I didn’t have a choice. I hated every goddamn minute of planning, of knowing he saw me as a fucking meal ticket. One night I snapped, told him to give me back my coat and let me go or I’d make him regret it. He locked me in the fucking basement, and when I got out, he told me he’d shipped my coat far, far away, and if I ever wanted to find it, I’d better stay with him. Asshole didn’t realize getting rid of the coat meant he didn’t have a hold on me anymore. I left, looked for it for years, then basically gave up and moved to Kepler because I knew there were other selkies here. Indrid’s convinced the pelt is here somewhere, keeps saying our finding it is just on the edges of his visions. But I dunno. I think it’s gone for good.”

Fear clings to his heart, “Will you get sick if you never find it? Are, are you sick now, or in pain?”

“No. Selkies don’t die or get sick without their pelts. It’s more like...like a part of you is missing, with this ache where it’s supposed to be. Mine’s been gone so long I barely notice it anymore.”

Joseph sits up, frowning, “You’re lying.”

“...Yeah. Yeah I am. But what else can I do?”

“Let me help. I’m an investigative professional, I have been for years, and I can’t think of a better use for those skills than finding your coat. Than, than making you happy and whole.”

Barclay studies him a moment, then yanks him down into a kiss, whimpering when Joseph nips his lips and licks between them. 

“Now, big guy,” he brushes their noses together, “what does it look like?”

“It’s the same color as my hair, with a crescent scar at the base of the tail from where a shark bit me. God, Joseph, I hope you see it some day, if you think Indrid’s tail is beautiful, and it is, mine is fucking gorgeous…”

-----------------------------------------------------

“Joseph! How is my favorite connoisseur of cryptozoology today?”

“ I’m fine, Ned. And since I can see the dollar signs in your eyes from here yes, if you have new merchandise I would like to see it.”

Stationed on the highway at the edge of Kepler, the Cryptonomica is the kind of tourist trap Joseph can’t help but love. Even if the informational plaques contain miles of misinformation, it’s nice to be somewhere that doesn’t scoff at the supernatural or strange. 

As Ned rummages in the back, Joseph circles the room to arrive at his favorite display; Bigfoot, complete with a supposed “stuffed bigfoot” whose fur is so many different colors it looks like a patchwork quilt his grandmother kept on the couch. Not for the first time, he amuses himself with the observation that the back portion resembles Barclay’s hair. 

“Wait.” He says, loud enough that Ned’s assistant, Kirby, looks up from his desk.

“Something you need, Mr. Stern?” 

He kneels down, pulling his penlight from his jacket and peering at the creatures lower back.

“Yes. I need a knife, and I need it now.”

--------------------------------------------------------------------

“Goodness!” Indrid yelps a moment before Joseph bursts through the door. 

“Barclay, Barclay look!” The researcher spins in a circle, searching for the cook.

“What is it, is everything okay?” He hurries out of the kitchen, then drops to his knees in shock, “it, it can’t be.”

“It is. Or, um, there’s a very strong chance it is. Look” He holds out the chestnut cloak, “the scar matches.”

“I, I, I-” Barclay grabs the pelt, holding it to his chest, “I must be dreaming.”

“There’s only one way to find out” Indrid grins as he pulls Duck up along with him, then tugs Barclay to his feet, “to the water!”

They’re moving so fast that Barclay only has a moment to swing the coat over his shoulders as he dives into the water, Joseph calling out to be careful. 

And then is heart thrums, whole for the first time in decades, as warm fur envelopes him. His second skin sings into his nerves, reunited with it’s home, and he let’s the transformation take it’s full form. When he leaps for joy out of the water, there’s not a human feature to be seen. 

Joseph cries out in triumph, Duck whooping out cheers along with him. There’s no sign of Indrid until he returns to the waves, at which point the most stunning silver seal twirls around him. The next time he rises from the water, he reverts to his half-form, savoring the sensation of moving it through the depths as Joseph and Duck wade in to join them. 

He pulls Joseph into a kiss, dipping him so his black hair fans out in the water, “You did it, babe.”

“I, I may as well quit all my other jobs, nothing else I accomplish in my life will compare to the look on your face right now.”

“Oh pet” Indrid smiles, “you’ve not seen anything yet. Did I say that right?”

“Close enough, sugar.”

“Come, dearest, I’ve been waiting for years to see if you can out-swim me.”

“You’re fucking on” Barclay kisses Joseph once more for good measure, “be right back.”

As he speeds through the water, Indrid keeping pace with him, he just makes out the conversation behind them. 

“You, uh, you know givin a selkie their pelt back is a marriage proposal, right?”

“Yes. But we can talk about that later, all four of us.”

[koinoyokvn]

*  /  𝐈 𝐍 𝐓 𝐑 𝐎 𝐃 𝐔 𝐂 𝐓 𝐈 𝐎 𝐍

* JOSHUA HONG, CISMALE + HE/HIM  | you know CHANHEE ‘SOUR PATCH’ BAN, right? they’re TWENTY-TWO, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, THIRTEEN YEARS? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to OCEAN DRIVE BY DUKE DUMONT like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole glitter stippled onto his cheeks, swinging at the playground at midnight & neon lights at a nightclub thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is july 1st, so they’re a cancer, which is unsurprising, all things considered.

hewwo everyone !! i’m kacchan n i, personally, am a bit of an idiot but !! do not let that distract u from the fact that i hav a few fun muses to write w !! i’ve been out of the rp scene for about a year but i’ve been spurred by rekindled inspiration !! i’m rlly excited to meet everyone n i hope we can get some delicious plots n connections that r chef’s kiss <3 

trigger warnings: death tw, fire tw, alcohol tw

*  /  𝐁 𝐀 𝐒 𝐈 𝐂 𝐒

hair: blackest brown

eyes: chestunut brown

build: slim & active

height: 5′9″ or 177 cm

weight: 127 lbs or 58 kg

distinguishing features: two lobe piercings on each ear, three helix piercings on each ear, an industrial piercing on his right ear, and a small tattoo with the roman numerals “XXIX - MMIX” written on his left wrist

distinguishing style: pastel colours & sparkling pieces make up most of his fashion, very bright jackets and very blushed makeup, designer outfits when he’s told to be on his best behaviour

*  /  𝐇 𝐈 𝐒 𝐓 𝐎𝐑 𝐘

chanhee was born along the coast of north carolina, though not quite irving. he was born to a head butler and head nanny of a wealthy estate on irving. very old money, invested in the surrounding agriculture and lumber of the area. his parents were live-in employees, constantly tending to the estate. chanhee lived on the estate as an infant but, as soon as he was old enough to go to school, he lived with his aunt in the city he was born in and only spent summers on the estate.

his mother was kind and charming, graceful with the way she tended to the children of the wealthy family. she always had stories and was filled with compassion. his father was surly and deadpan, a cynical man that always saw the worst in things. but it’s his cynicism that allowed him to thrive as the butler, as he feared the worst, he prepared for it, and all his father’s plans would turn out seamless. chanhee loved the summers. he loved spending every day with his parents. when he was at school, he told everyone that he would become the head butler of the estate just like his father. the family career, so to speak.

chanhee quickly befriended the children of the estate. when they would go to tutors, he would go to the laundry rooms and the gardens. but whenever it was free time, he was stuck to their side. he would join them on their fishing adventures and beach escapades, but he didn’t know much about irving beyond the estate. he was just a visitor, a tourist, every time he would go downtown. 

he though life would always be like this. going to school and being with his aunt during the winter, and enjoying every moment of the day during the summer. and when he would finish school, he would move to irving and work under his father’s eyes. that was his destiny... only, it wasn’t.

his father loved stage plays. it was the only thing that could make him smile, other than his family. when chanhee was 10, he was having a “sleepover” with the children of the estate while his parents took the night off. they drove to chanhee’s hometown, met with his father’s sister, and they all went to a stage play. but they didn’t come home. the theatre caught on fire and the building was brought down. eight casualties, three of them being chanhee’s mother, father, and aunt. chanhee wasn’t the wiser until the next morning.

chanhee had no grandparents. his aunt was his only immediate family. he had an uncle from his grandmother’s brother in korea. the only extended family he had. chanhee... to go all the way to korea? and if his uncle was contacted and said no, he would be placed into the foster system. this wasn’t supposed to be the way his life panned out. he was supposed to be the head butler of the estate, wasn’t he?

the wealthy wife hadn’t stopped crying since the funeral. and the wealthy husband, holed up in his study and only coming out to get more drinks, muttering how he only trusted chanhee’s father to hand him things. the wealthy family was mourning, too. while chanhee’s custody was in limbo, he was staying with the wealthy family. an act of compassion brought him to hold the wealthy wife and weep with her, telling her that everything would be okay because his parents are still in every inch of the house. they made their life here and that can’t be taken away. very profound words and chanhee was speaking each from the memory of his mother and what she would always say. that was it!

the next weeks were getting the paperwork settled. the uncle from korea was never contacted. instead, the wealthy family adopted chanhee as their own. that way, chanhee would never be far from what he knows and the wealthy family would have always have his parents’ spirit with them. chanhee was now a permanent residence of irving. he was allowed to keep his surname, a request from chanhee himself. 

the transition was a little rocky. chanhee would always drift away from his lessons to help around the estate and get caught by his tutors, disciplined for being tardy or absent. he was critical of food being cooked for him as he learned how to cook quite young and would always help his parents. this transition created a sort of dependency on chanhee’s favourite treats: sour patch kids. he would always have a bag near or around him. when he was upset, some would be brought to him. it got to the point where his newly adopted siblings would call him “sour patch”. eventually, the nickname stuck and never left. he was now sour patch ban, newfound heir. 

he never meant to be unruly. but when his troublemaker sister asked him to join her on a party, he couldn’t let her go alone. he wouldn’t be a very good brother if that were the case. it quickly escalated, however, once he let alcohol into his system. soon, it was him and his sister, sneaking out every weekend to find trouble. high school was spent falling asleep in classes but doing stellar on tests and assignments, many thanks to private tutors. it was spent dreading his extracurriculars, though it helped him learn how to play piano, guitar, and the drums. he was also a talented singer, though he does get a bad case of stage fright if he’s asked to sing in front of a crowd.

now that he’s graduated high school, he’s kind of drifting. not sure where he wants to go or what to do. his parents always assured him that he would be loved and taken care of no matter what he decided to do. so for now, he takes a lax business course at the university, just to say he’s trying. otherwise, he’s out on the town, drinking and smoking and laughing and playing away. sometimes he thinks about making his music career, even joining a band with his friends, and maybe making that his life. but something always gripes about him, how that estate is supposed to be his life. anything beyond it almost seems... inauthentic. is that why he spends so much time drinking? never committing to anything? hm, who knows.

*  /  𝐏 𝐄 𝐑 𝐒 𝐎 𝐍 𝐀 𝐋 𝐈 𝐓 𝐘

sour patch is definitely someone who tries to make everyone around him smile. he’s kind, affable, super sweet, and thoughtful. he makes an effort to remember the small things people tell him. he’s a bit of an over-analyzer this way, trying to figure out what people want. his motif is to always help people.

but that’s not to say he doesn’t have problems of his own. he’s scared of commitment in any regard and he hides his true feelings quite a lot. he doesn’t want to seem a burden or something to invoke pity, so he never lets on how much something hurts him. he’s quite emotional and can cry at the drop of a pin. he just invests a lot of himself into other people and, of course, that never bodes well.

he’s also a huge romantic. now, mix that with his commitment issues and his mask-wearing, it’s not a pretty trait of his. he has a tendency to fall in love with anyone who shows him a remote kindness. he scoops up opportunities to be intimate while he’s partying because they simulate true affection just enough for him to get addicted to it. but, he’s sensitive and noncommittal, so he can fall out of love just as easily.

*  /  𝐂 𝐎 𝐍 𝐍 𝐄 𝐂 𝐓 𝐈 𝐎 𝐍 𝐒

save your tears — sour patch went all in with his chips with this relationship. he really thought that he could unlearn his life of flimsy whimsical habits. but, that’s not the only thing that’s stopping him from being a good partner. maybe it was the nonstop drinking, the hesitancy to show vulnerability, or his inability to get out of his daydreams. but it fell apart. sour patch never stopped caring about this person, however, and he wants to try and be better for them. but will they let him? ( 0/1 )

banana brain — sour patch isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. although he’s always kind to everyone, he can come off ingenuine. however, he’s determined to be this person’s friend. he feels like he can help them, even though he knows that his presence is unwanted. extravagant gifts, surprise visits, the whole shebang. sour patch is persistent even though it’s a futile mission. ( 0/3 )

i wonder — the current pinnacle of sour patch’s affections. maybe this person is a classmate, or a regular at one of his regular spots too, or just happened to perform a random act of kindness. sour patch is quite the romantic individual and overthinks any minute interaction. this is amped up with this person. be prepared. i would prefer if this is unrequited but we can see how it goes, too! ( 0/1 )

eyes closed — sour patch is using this person to distract himself from something he can’t attain. does this person know that? well, only time can tell. it’s hard to see beyond sour patch’s masks sometimes. maybe it’s mutual and this person is also distracting themself from something else. however, it almost feels real. every touch and whisper. it’s just missing some sort of spark. that inescapable romantic ideal that it’s meant to be. ( 0/1 )

SPECIAL MENTIONS: sour patch adores having friends and is a very social creature, he wants to be close with everyone. sour patch also has his share of one night stands and drunken encounters, and not all of them are good. these connections won’t have limits because i’m a fiend for friends/fwb/rivals. 

[pascalls]

Hi! I'd love to learn more about Charlie 😊 I've seen you mention that he was an employee of Burns' - what happened to him for him to become a hybrid? I'm also really interested to know how that affected his personality, and his outlook on things, and whether the way people interact with him has changed since. And has he always lived in Springfield? Apologies if that's too many questions (I really love learning about people's OCs 😊)!

You’ve presented me with an opportunity to go into the lore of my OC and now you have NO ESCAPE. WATCH OUT THIS IS GONNA BE LONG.

Charlie has always lived in Springfield, most likely, and is the result of wealthy parents having absolutely no interest in their own child beyond using him as a bargaining chip, attempting to marry him off to another marginally wealthy family so that they can combine wealth and continue to be rich bitches. He was arranged to marry the daughter of the other family, but unfortunately, he’s primarily gay (he has some women exceptions to the rule, but they’re few and far in between). So an arranged marriage would’ve been miserable and terrible. In an attempt to prepare himself for married life, he has a one-night stand with a woman named Carla who accidentally births a little boy, affectionately named Connor. 

Charlie wants to be present for the boy, but urges Carla to keep his parenthood a secret. Their general incompatibility, Charlie’s pre-arranged commitment, and Carla’s eventual disgust for Charlie’s homosexual tendencies keep her from allowing Charlie to truly act as a parent, though she doesn’t waste time in dropping the child off for days at a time for him to look after. Connor grows up knowing his father, but he isn’t very empowered by his mother. As a result, Connor is a bit of a fearful and quiet kid and both Charlie and Carla are at odds. Charlie considered fighting for custody, but did not, for fear that it would throw his whole arranged marriage deal into chaos. Connor remained a secret from Charlie’s parents throughout his childhood.

He got a job at the plant in his thirties so he could at least attempt to learn some sort of independence before being married off (and perhaps learn how to be a provider for Connor without relying on his own parents’ wealth), but with a penchant for numbers, he just ended up being another pencil pushing accountant. Faced with depression, lack of guidance in his own life, his inability to see his son on the regular, and being enormously closeted, he sort of just lived day by day. (Of course, there were some experiments, like his VERY brief one night stand with a particular lawyer, but that ended in a bitter, catty rivalry that carries on to the day.) 

Anyway, my guess is that Burns had it in mind to use some of the plant workers as an attempt to harness the radioactivity that just kind of FLOATS around there to combine animal DNA with human DNA and create super-workers that would be much more efficient and trainable, but would complain less about health benefits. Charlie was just the unlucky first pick for guinea pig. He disappeared at the plant for several weeks while his genetic code got all sorts of messed up and only escaped with the help of the other idiot plant workers that didn’t do their due diligence at locking up the section of the plant that Burns had him tucked away in. But now he looked like a horrible mutant - in his opinion - and he holed up in somewhere in the woods until nightfall. 

Once night came around - it was raining too, which didn’t help - he made a break for it to try and hide out somewhere in the town. Unfortunately, a certain reverend decided to accidentally plow into Charlie with his car and had to drag him home to his basement because 1) he couldn’t tell the cops that he’d just killed someone, if Charlie ended up dead 2) this thing isn’t human. When Charlie eventually came to in Lovejoy’s basement, he decided that this was the opportunity he had to live a new life. Be someone entirely different (though why he didn’t change his name is his own particular brand of stupidity, but luckily, Burns’ little pet project was soon forgotten by the man himself and Smithers is reluctant to give Charlie away because he’s not that invested). 

So he let his hair grow, let himself be more open about his sexuality, and took up smoking and drinking (and a number of drugs to cope with the trauma of having your entire body changed without your consent), and now is the over-the-top, sometimes wildly inappropriate gay lizard you now see today, though he still does his best for his son, whose mother is only marginally aware of anything that happens in town. His parents were told that he had died in a tragic accident and seem to be just fine with that. They’ve not made any attempts to find him themselves and his previously arranged fiance found another man to wed.

BUT HIS NEW LIFE IS STILL NOT WITHOUT ITS STRUGGLES. He falls in love with the stupid sardonic nature of Reverend Lovejoy and constantly works to undermine the man’s religion (though he’s marginally careful about boundaries, i.e.: he would never disparage Helen, nor would he take it upon himself to sabotage their marriage), but he’s relatively unsuccessful. He falls deeper and deeper, further complicating things when he dons a hokey Halloween costume so he can go out and live a life free of persecution because of his non-human nature. He takes on the role of a new-age plague doctor (despite knowing next to nothing about medicine), and gets a job at Springfield Elementary as the school nurse (despite not having any credentials, but who does). 

He regularly attends church - just for the sake of being present in town - and finds an enemy in Ned Flanders who takes up far too much of Lovejoy’s time for Charlie’s envious nature to be satisfied with - and bounces wildly between pining for a man he can’t have and trying to keep himself from constantly throwing hands with Flanders (who has a suspicion that Charlie is some kind of demon presence put on Earth to turn the reverend away from God, which incidentally, might not be that inaccurate). 

Most people in Springfield never knew his name before, and thus don’t make the connection between who he is now and who he was before, but he is careful with divulging too much personal information to anyone. Despite that, he regularly explores intimacy with other men because of his desire to be appreciated, loved, and doted on (which he is most certainly not getting from Lovejoy), including several nights spent with Smithers who becomes a bit of a confidante. On that note, while he does his best to maintain his secret, there are a number of people who know that he is not human, including Marge (a mother-figure to him, despite them being the same age, but she gives him good advice), Lisa (because she isn’t dumb), Superintendent Chalmers and Principal Skinner (both involved in some shenanigans that need a lot more context to get into lmaoo), and eventually, Sam the barfly. 

As he is now, Charlie is constantly looking for some kind of reassurance in the form of affection, but is increasingly frustrated by Lovejoy’s insistence that there is nothing between them, despite evidence to the contrary and heavily influenced by the man’s (and his own internalized) apparent homophobia. (I made an animatic with them several weeks ago and it very much embodies their dynamic.) He buries himself in drinking and drugs to chase away his feeling of inadequacy and his fears of being a good parent, as well as his realization that his parents never truly cared, how he is slated to be relatively alone for the rest of his life, and the fear that he will never be normal again. But he combats this deep depression with his over-the-top personality, at times, and his smarmy, self-absorbed facade of confidence that would shatter if anyone poked a little too hard at it.

AND THAT’S WHERE HE IS NOW.

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

[nikkoliferous]

Confirmation of Joe Biden’s election victory and his looming inauguration as the next President of the United States has elicited a joyful response from large swathes of the press and across social media. Yet for those people who are aware of Biden’s politics and record, beyond the spurious ‘nice guy’ image projected by the media, and therefore understand what the implications of his victory are likely to be, witnessing the mainstream reaction to it has been a profoundly alienating experience. This feeling of isolation has been exacerbated by the fact that legitimate criticism of Biden and his running mate, Kamala Harris, has frequently been met with personal invective, as though it is an attack on the very being of those who are currently celebrating their win.

As Devyn Springer has explained, ‘the gutting of political education and virality of capitalist miseducation means that people offering valid criticism, analysis, and reproval are likened to “hating” and “not letting people enjoy things” in the stunted Amerikan [sic] political imaginary.’ Lamentably, the absence of critical thinking and political imagination in the US is also a feature of political discourse in the UK. Contrary to the idea that feeling no joy regarding the prospect of a Biden-Harris administration is driven by a mean-spirited desire to spoil the happiness of others, it is in fact a sentiment that springs ultimately from love and solidarity – a crucial distinction that Steven Salaita recently expressed with characteristic eloquence. The inability to feel any joy at Biden winning, even if simultaneously relieved to see Trump lose, is borne out of compassion for all the past (and future) victims of both Biden’s personal actions, and of the neo-liberal and imperialist politics that he so perfectly embodies.

It should be plainly stated that by any meaningful and honest measure, Biden is a monster who has caused an incalculable amount of suffering over his many decades as a senior official of the US empire. Given the length of Biden’s career, a comprehensive rap sheet requires a book-length study, but his ‘highlights’ include his central role in drafting a number of deeply racist pieces of legislation (including the infamous 1994 Crime Bill) that both exacerbated and consolidated the mass incarceration of Black Americans, and legislation that went on to be passed largely unchanged as the Patriot Act of 2001 that gutted civil liberties in the US; his prominent role in lobbying the Senate and the American public for the war on Iraq as Chairman of the Senate’s Foreign Relations Committee; and his ‘unconditional, career-long commitment to Israel’ that has seen him develop close friendships with a number of fellow war criminals including Benjamin Netanyahu and the late Ariel Sharon, at whose funeral he delivered a eulogy. In short, Biden is a racist authoritarian at home and an enthusiastic and unapologetic imperialist abroad. On environmental issues, in spite of the hopes that liberals are already investing in him, Biden is little better. During the campaign he repeatedly announced that he will not ban fracking and his adviser on energy issues, who served as Energy Secretary under Obama, is a notorious lobbyist for the fossil fuel industry. It is alarming to note too that Ezekiel Emanuel, a member of Biden’s recently announced Coronavirus taskforce, has argued that life is not worth living beyond the age of 75.

In addition to the long list of sexual assault allegations he has faced,  something that is rarely publicised or discussed outside of pro-Trump media, is the deeply disturbing fact that even when the cameras are rolling, Biden appears to be incapable of not smelling, kissing, groping and otherwise acting wildly inappropriately with women and girls with whom he comes into contact. Such is the incredible power of the media to continually re-invent and sanitise public reputations, that virtually all of this lamentable record is simply cast aside and intentionally obscured. Instead, Biden is regularly portrayed in a highly favourable light as a ‘decent, empathic man’ who supposedly stands in stark contrast to Trump. The truth, as articulated plainly in a recent interview by Evo Morales – the former President of Bolivia deposed in a US coup in November 2019 – there is really little difference between the two men and the parties they represent, except for that Trump’s racism and fascism is more explicit. All this does not even address the other elephant in the room: namely that Biden is evidently undergoing some form of cognitive decline, which, on multiple occasions throughout the campaign period, has left him unable to form coherent sentences and repeatedly slurred basic words and phrases.

It is telling, if not surprising, that many of those who have thus far publicly celebrated the election results with the most glee are those liberals who in their own words, cannot wait to stop caring about politics again. It was Trump’s overt racism, crude style and unpredictable theatrics on Twitter and elsewhere – the cause of such embarrassment to them and the US liberal establishment as a whole – that they opposed, not the actual content and results of his policies, so many of which were in fact a direct continuation of policies inherited from the Obama-Biden Administration, including the caging of migrant children and the much-derided ‘Muslim ban’. In fact, Trump’s recognition of Jerusalem as the capital of Israel, one of his most criticised decisions internationally, was only legally possible as a result of earlier legislation that Biden himself voted for and was later supported by Obama. It is evident that for many of those who formed the so-called ‘resistance’ to Trump, their opposition to his presidency was not driven by the harm that it inflicted, but rather by the damage it caused to America’s reputation globally and the subsequent embarrassment and discomfort they felt.

A widespread concern among elements of the US establishment, especially early on in Trump’s Presidency, was that he would make good on some of the anti-war rhetoric he had occasionally deployed during his campaign and not be sufficiently imperialist in outlook. It is for this reason that Trump received perhaps the most unanimously positive coverage in the media on the day on which he authorised air strikes on Syria. No such fears exist with Biden, who, as though such reassurance was required, has repeatedly gone out of his way during the campaign to demonstrate his hawkish credentials on a host of foreign policy issues including his stance on China, Syria and Iran. Accordingly, The Guardian has already called on Biden to ‘reassert America’s role as the global problem-solver’ because under Trump ‘the “indispensable nation” disappeared when it was needed most.’ A sentiment that is a perfect illustration of John Pilger’s maxim that ‘the task of liberal realists is to ensure that western imperialism is interpreted as crisis management, rather than the cause of the crisis and its escalation.’

In essence, liberals are fawning over Biden solely by virtue of him not being as obscenely and openly racist as Trump. To do so in spite of his disastrous record and in the absence of him running on any meaningful policy platform or alternative vision brings to mind C. Wright Mills’ scathing assessment of liberalism from his work The Marxists (1962), which is relevant enough to quote at length:

“As a set of theories – or better, of assumptions about man, society, history – liberalism today is at a dead end. The optative mood has so thoroughly taken over that liberals often appear out of touch with the going realities. That is one reason it is so difficult to sort out distinctively liberal theories as such. Often failing to recognize facts that cry out to be recognized, liberalism is irrelevant to much that is happening in much of the world. Liberal ways of looking at these facts too often become mannerisms by which liberals avoid considering the structural conditions of social life and the need to change them. In fact, liberals have no convincing view of the structure of society as a whole – other than the now vague notion of it as some kind of a big balance. They have no firm sense of the history of our times and of their nation’s.”

Under Trump’s leadership, most notably at the height of the vicious repression of the Black Lives Matters protests in May and June of this year, the superficial mask of American liberalism dropped entirely, exposing the ugly fascism at its core. Biden’s win is undoubtedly the start of a concerted effort to lift that mask back up, restore America’s image and get back to the business of imperialism disguised as ‘global problem-solving’. Trump’s overt racism will be replaced with the more refined, tacit variety at which the Democratic Party excels, and his candid admissions regarding the true motivations behind US military action substituted with statesman-like messaging about humanitarian intervention and the international community’s ‘responsibility to protect’. That Biden’s Vice-President will be Kamala Harris, a half Black, half South Asian-origin woman – regardless of the fact her politics are as reactionary as his – will also be used to project an ostensibly progressive image of the incoming administration. All those who are committed to opposing all forms of racism and imperialism, of the refined variety or otherwise, must resist these dishonest attempts to portray a Biden win as anything more than an administrative reshuffle within the bi-partisan management of a genocidal empire that, whoever is President, represents a grave danger to its own people and the future of everyone else on this planet.

[arpwrites]

[Tarot!BTS] One Thing They’d Change About Themselves

© | Disclaimer! | Tarot Masterlist | Commissions | Tip Jar Do not repost, modify, or translate without explicit written permission.

In order to get a deeper understanding of who the boys really are, I’ll be drawing a few cards to find out the one thing they’d change about themselves because who you want to be is sometimes more telling than who you are.

Heads Up! Depression TW, Negative Thoughts TW

Read my disclaimers for fullest understanding of this reading’s implications!

Kim Seokjin

Jin wishes he could stop being torn between different things and having to juggle multiple roles, he just wants to invest all of himself into one pursuit. Though Jin’s heart really lies with acting, his career requires him to be a jack of all trades. This reading speaks of his wish to pursue his dream and only that, but responsibilities to rest of the boys and his commitment to BigHit keep him from doing so. He wishes he could have the guts to go for it, break the contract and be selfish, but he just can’t. His consideration for his family is a good thing, but he thinks of it as a flaw, as an inability to commit, fickleness. He can’t see that he’s just committing to something else. 

Min Yoongi

Yoongi wants to change the part of himself that gets too extreme in his pursuit of wealth and material stability. If he’s being honest, he can get greedy and/or place money over people. He doesn’t want to let accumulating wealth and fear of losing it run who he is and what he does. He wishes he could be free of the siren song of gold that lures him in to do things he’ll regret later. 

Jung Hoseok

Hobi wishes he could change the mental hell he builds himself every time he feels adrift in his love life. We have established that Tarot!Hoseok shares Canon!Hoseok’s need for love and a partner despite the struggles fame allots him. We already know he craves someone to love and share his life with but this reading reveals the extent to which it bothers him. The Devil is about obsession and addiction and depressive spirals, it’s about a never-ending loop of thoughts telling yourself you aren’t good enough, no one will want you, you’re going to be alone forever. Hobi wishes he could change the part of himself that thinks these thoughts every so often. Every time he emerges from this tenth circle, he thinks it’s going to be the last time. He wishes he had the mental fortitude to make it stick.

Kim Namjoon

Joon wishes he could change the part of himself that is unemotional and controlling and wants everything for itself. RM is a great leader and is always thinking of other people. He isn’t selfish but that’s because it is a conscious choice on his part. Deep down is an instinct to take all credit and control for himself. He wants to change the selfish, greedy, controlling voice in him. He doesn’t realize it’s enough that he isn’t listening to it, that that in itself is a victory. 

Park Jimin

Jimin wishes he could change the part of himself that is too trusting and gives too much too soon. His naivety comes from the purest parts of himself, his childlike core that has survived despite everything. It is something he keeps hidden and shows only those who have completely earned his trust. Life has taught him to be careful with people but some still slip past his barriers. It always ends up hurting him and he regrets it. They don’t realize his sincere feelings are a gift, a privilege that shouldn’t be abused. Jimin knows he cannot control other people, so he’d rather control himself and change this part of himself though others are to blame for its mistreatment. It is better to kill this part of himself than keep getting hurt like a fool.

Kim Taehyung

Tae wants to change the part of himself that says exactly what he thinks and means even if it results in conflict or sows discord. He values speaking his truth over other people’s feelings. Sometimes, it is better to say nothing and let things go but something in him makes him pipe up at all costs. He has learned that this behaviour of his can be selfish at times and he’s still figuring out where to draw the line. 

Jeon Jungkook

Kook wishes to change the part of himself that makes him ineffective and sits him out on the sidelines. His inability to help or accomplish a task is one that surprisingly bears down on him. He can’t stand not being able to do something, which makes sense considering the many talents he has usually render him successful at tasks the first time round. We can see this in his determination to learn English to help Joon during interviews. He has grown a lot since his teen years and now understands that the common gifted child problem of failing at a task the first time is normal for all human beings, but he still beats himself up for being unable to take action to solve a problem or help someone. 

A/N

Jin drew the Page of Swords, 7 of Pentacles, and 2 of Pentacles. The Page of Swords has consistently been showing up in the last four-ish readings I’ve done for him. I think it’s presenting itself as his significator alongside Death. It refers to his surface personality while Death is his core. It appeared in this reading as a way to validate its veracity. 

Yoongi drew the King of Pentacles. This card, along with The Hanged Man, is the card that best represents Yoongi. I find it interesting that both cards have upside down figures on them and both figures have ceded control over their surroundings. They’ve surrendered, they flow with the current to wherever it takes them and by doing so, have attained mastery. It’s an ultimate zen concept. I think it corresponds to Yoongi’s philosophy of, “Let them do what they want, it doesn’t affect me. I will prosper regardless.”

Also, almost every single reading I do about Yoongi involves wealth/material stability in some way. I’m really not making this up. Even if you look at the traditional meanings of the cards, that’s exactly what they tell. I don’t draw my own cards so there’s no bias there. I shuffle and whatever falls out, falls out. So I think all the emphasis on that aspect of him is just confirmation it’s a key element of him that affects all parts of his life and is a big part of who he is.

Tons of cards for Hobi!! The King of Pentacles and the Queen of Pentacles as well as The Lovers tell me it’s about romantic partnerships; The Hanged Man tells me it’s about his disillusionment regarding it; Rx. The Devil and 6 of Swords speak of his toxic spirals and need to work past them. 

Joon drew the Rx. 6 of Pentacles, The Emperor, and Rx. King of Cups. This is new information about him though it fits very much with The Magician he usually gets. Both The Emperor and The Magician are about control and power.

Jimin drew the Page of Chalices. A heartstring-tugging addition to Tarot!Jimin’s story so far. 

Tae drew the 5 of Wands. It’s funny because this is very similar to the card that kept coming up in his Fatherhood and Future Children readings. Looks like the combative side of his personality will pass down to his children and karma will teach him what it’s like to deal with himself 😂 

Kook drew the 4 of Cups and Rx. The Devil. He think he needs to be good at everything and is disappointed/upset when he isn’t. Part of it is the perfectionism he subjects himself to, part of it is arrogance, part of it is expectation, because if he can do everything else well, why can’t he do this too? 

Overall, I felt a pretty high level of accuracy with this read, about 92%. I drew multiple times to make sure the cards I got were the right ones. Some cards were expected but others took me by surprise, yet they made sense once I thought about it. 

Personally, I think Yoongi, Hobi, Tae, and Kook are the ones who need to work on what they want to change. Jin, Joon, and Jimin are doing a great job as they are. What do you think?

If you enjoyed reading this, please support me by interacting with this post through likes, replies, or reblogs. It tells the algorithm that my work is valuable. So, it’s a meaningful way to let me know you want more of the same content from me.

As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts about this post. Let me know if you agree with what the boys think should change in themselves and whether these are things you’d change in yourself. Is change always good? Which of these would benefit vs. hurt the boys and why? Are there any other ways you think the boys need to change? Let’s talk 👾

Bonus: Relevant Discussions

© | Disclaimer! | Tarot Masterlist | Commissions | Tip Jar Do not repost, modify, or translate without explicit written permission.

[kondjimlimwengu]

Where is the Victory?

What exactly is the victory here and whose victory is it? Is it ours? His? Googles? This is the same company that changed its logo to commemorate the invention of the PANCAKE but didn’t deem the emancipation of slavery legitimate enough to salute.

So who’s victory is it? Is it the boys? He might get a nice check sure but he’ll likely not produce anything remotely radical or militant again- not while on the payroll of the company that didn’t give a dam about Juneteenth.

Google is just trying to co-opt his talent and put him to work for them while snagging some “woke” points and securing their invite to the cookout along the way. This is a purely strategic move on the part of google. It’s not benevolent, the boy didn’t “open googles eyes”, it’s purely strategic.

Companies have historically sustained themselves off of the talent/ genius of black people while actively working against the interests of black people (i.e. investing billions of dollars into institutions which oppress us within the U.S. and abroad).

Accepting a job from the oppressor isn’t a remedy for oppression. You’ve only allowed yourself and your talents to be used to further the agenda of the racist. In the same way, accepting a job from, lending your genius to, and allowing your income to be dependent on a company which didn’t deem the end of slavery as worthy of acknowledgment is not a feat to be celebrated.

On June 19th, on the anniversary of our emancipation from chattel slavery, all eyes were on this boy and his talent. All eyes were on this boy and his commitment to acknowledge and celebrate our history where google deemed it unworthy. He could have teamed with other young, black, ingenious minds and built on top of his google design- perhaps our own google, perhaps our own internet. Possibilities were endless and have always been endless when it’s come black minds banding together to create in the interests of ourselves instead of our oppressor.

Nobody was more aware of this than Google so they made sure that they plucked him up from whatever trajectory he was on. They made sure that they continued the oppressor’s tradition of syphoning black genius and creative ability from the black community. They ensured that if this boy were to produce anything again, it’d be under the banner of, in the name of, and furthering the interests of Google.

In many ways, despite our Juneteenth celebration, the tradition of black talent and ability being sold off to the highest white bidder has remained fundamentally unchanged. Just like the quickest, easiest, “safest” way for an enslaved black person to provide food and shelter for himself and his family was to submit his body and abilities to the will of Massa (vs. attempting to escape and living the rest of his life on the run), the same is true today. In the face of abject poverty and the inability of many of us to sufficiently feed, clothe and house ourselves, a check from the oppressor in exchange for our talent, ability and brainpower is very tempting.

We are at a point where “success” in and of itself is measured by the oppressor’s willingness to use our talent and abilities to further his agenda- and the check he’s willing to write us for our exploitation.

We’re told to go to college, graduate then allow our talents and abilities to be used in the interests of the first oppressive, imperialist company to write us a fat check. We’re told that as athletes, musicians, or other creatives that we haven’t achieved success in our field at all until our talents have been seized upon and used to further the interests of the first oppressive, imperialist company to write us a fat check.

What is the difference between listing your credentials, talents and achievements on a resumé for Google, Apple or other potential employers and having your speed, your physical prowess- your “credentials”- shouted from an auction block for potential buyers? Potential Massas? In both instances, we are allowing our immense talent and ability to create to be sold off to the highest bidder, against the interests of black people.

Any offer of employment by the oppressor is not an indicator of his benevolence and dam sure not his “wokeness”. It is confirmation of his fear of your potential to create YOUR OWN institution, your own business, your own google independent of him and his agenda.

We as a people must get off the auction block and apply our collective genius toward the creation of our own institutions and the strengthening of our own independent economy. “Success” for black people will no longer be measured by the the pay-off the oppressor is willing to offer us to apply our talents to the strengthening of billion dollar imperialist institutions but by the degree to which our talents have contributed to the fortifying and political and economic upliftment of the black community.

For more Black Magic💫

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[goblin-gardens]

Gob Or Not? An Extremely Scientific Examination Of The Mighty Nein

A couple weeks ago, as an attempt to lure my friend Grim into Critical Role, I made a Goblin Inventory of the M9. this post is an updated survey of the team, slightly reformatted, mostly to be more accurate to my current understanding of the characters (as of Episode 58) and also funnier.

Abstract:

The goals of the initial report were two-fold. First, to examine the differences between being a member of the goblin species and Being Goblin, and second to determine whether Nott The Brave was truly the most Goblin of the group. The first findings showed that Nott scored a 40 out of 77 on the Goblin Scale, not an especially high score and far from the highest in the group. While the conclusions of this survey are not wildly different, the key to Science is repeating your experiments and coming up with not-exactly-identical findings, and doing this roughly a billion times and then you can say that you’re Probably Right (Most Of The Time).

The Goblin Quotient is determined by quantifying, on a scale of 0-11, how fully a person embodies each of the 7 Habits Of Highly Effective Goblins. These are, 1) Collection Of Crap, 2) Chaos, 3) Minionhood, 4) Gooey Center, 5) Laser Pointer Focus, 6) Furious Devotion, and 7) Hideous Cackling.

the full text of this very serious academic paper is under the cut and not behind a paywall.

1) Collection Of Crap

Top scorer, Caleb Widogast As a wizard, Caleb has purposefully immersed himself in Collecting. He is constantly filling his pockets with spell components including, but by no means limited to, sulfur, molasses, honeycomb, bits of copper wire, and literal bat shit. it’s all just. in his pockets. being slimy. Other Caleb Collections include: Books, Paper, Friends, Magic, and Pain. unfortunately, he still has not collected a fantasy therapist to help him KonMari some of it into healthier boxes. Nott’s new form has upped her Collecting habits, but this is a fundamental hobby of Veth’s. This quells some uncertainty about how much of this is truly Her. turns out, lots! (Runners up: Jester, with the animals and haversack of holding, Nott, with the buttons. Special mention: Fjord, with his balls.) Lowest Scorer, Yasha: a 6 of 11 ain’t shabby, but it’s not much compared to the others. This might be due to her having had less screen time, but she does tend to travel light.

Trait The Second) Chaos.

Top scorer, Jester Lavorre: The M9 are a pretty Chaotic group, but Jester is the only one who’s built a religion out of chaos. She’s a high priestess of drawing dicks on things. Her magic powers come from a divine mandate to fuck shit up. Pets (to which she has added Yarnball) up the chaos meter, and their virtually indestructible plot armor means they’re not going anywhere execpt maybe home wth Yeza. In general, Jester’s childhood in the Lavish Chateau was sort of like a pandora’s jack in the box getting wound tighter and tighter and tighter past all physical comprehension, and though the lid has been lifted, the spring is only just starting to sproing. we haven’t even reached the Zenith yet! After seeing some more of Veth and Yeza, it’s clear they’re not the most sedate of couples. Some eyebrows have definitely gotten singed in the Brenatto lab. However, since they aren’t the ones who burned it to the ground, a bit of Safe Science Techniques have to at least be assumed. (Runner up: Molly, with the egg dick incident) Lowest scorer, Beau: She’s not settling down, but she is… settling. Beau does her share of the check-ins, and has made the highest number of Agreements To Not Be Assholes Together. She might be in the running for mom friend??

C) Minionhood.

Top scorer, Fjord “No-Name” Swordvjore. In CR, goblins are not often leaders. They will work together to target weaker and easy opponents, but aren’t typically masterminds. They aren’t prone to individual heroism and rarely, if ever, go out of their way to save a friend. In their villages, little value is placed on familial relationships or education, they’re not big team players, and everyone has a terrible sense of humor. So how does Fjord factor into this? By showing the other side of the coin, like how tactics that don’t rely on using yourself as canon fodder are more successful, or like how the power of friendship and diverse skill sets makes your team stronger. Nott is not much of a follower, though she is an aggressive supporter. Though both these green kids were outcasts when they were younger, finding love with Yeza, stating a family and running a business has given Veth a strong sense of what she wants, and it’s not to be a leader or a follower. (runners up: Caduceus Clay, committed WildMinion and Jester, Travelerite) Lowest scorer, Caleb Widogast. He’s had his brush with Minionhood and the further and safer from it he feels, the more he wants revenge.

Four) Gooey Center Top scorer, Yasha Nydoorin. The Gooey Center is protected by a spiky, brittle, intimidating, crunchy, and/or off putting exterior.  Yasha is our big, scary, tenderhearted wlw. our giant soft-hearted, angelic, full-of-boiling-murderous-rage, lightning-punching, funeral-not-having runaway who loves her wife and makes us cry. she shaves her arms with her sword. she uses books in non-traditional ways. she vanishes into the night sometimes in a very mysterious and tragic manner. she is our most Romantic player character, and she is super ripped and super queer, which are all aspirational goblin qualities. in practice, most goblins connect with their gooey center by being squished by someone like Yasha, maybe with a giant hammer. Nott does more to protect others’ feelings than her own, really. Poking at her sore spots makes her stab at yours, but she’s pretty up front about how she feels. When actually fighting, she’s proven to be pretty adept at not being hit. (runners up: Caleb, glass canon with a very crunchy exterior, Fjord, known horc twunk, Caducues, mystery boy, and Molly, who rudely showed us just how how close that center can be to the surface) Lowest scorer: Nott! She’s actually…. Relatively well adjusted? Has emotional intelligence?

5️⃣) Laser Pointer Focus Top scorer: Caduceus Clay. Related to Minionhood, this is the aspect of Goblinry that the leader uses to achieve goals. the dogged focus of a True Goblin is powerful and direct, but can be redirected with the proper pressure or leadership, or lost when a cause or leader is not compelling enough or doesn’t provide adequate payment. the Laser Pointer Focus has an investigatory aspect as well, gathering little bits of info from every which way in moments, though the information gathered is rarely put to use immediately. Caduceus, who sees all but doesn’t always act on it, and is content to support the Nein and follow their meandering path to his goal, checks many of these boxes. Nott knows exactly what she wants in life, which is her old life. She knows how to get it, which is to keep Caleb alive until he can learn a powerful enough spell. The difference between her pursuit of her goal and Caduceus’s lies in the fact that this isn’t a Hero’s Quest for her, with no Tests of Character or Symbolic Goals set or arbitrated by an outside force. (runners up: Fjord, spiritually chasing a laser pointer at all times, Jester, whose laser pointer always points at chaos. Special mention: Frumpkin) Lowest scorer: Beau. Maybe she’s still figuring out what her driving forces are. She knows what they aren’t, but Not Being The Same Type Of Shitty As My Dad isn’t a full thesis. She’s dedicated to protecting her friends, but until we see exactly what it is that she defines herself in opposition to (ie. get that sweet sweet Loregard) her intentions might remain a bit fuzzy around the edges.

VI) Furious Devotion Top scorer: Beauregard Lionett. Also going hand in hand with Minionhood (Minionhood has two hands), this is the trait that makes goblins actually willing to die in battle against adventurers and town guards and shit. It doesn’t require any comfort with or willingness to follow authority, it’s the more feral side of love that is reigned in by Minionhood in true Goblins. this is the part of the Goblin that drives the Collecting of Crap because it genuinely loves all the shit it finds. Beau is a prime example of this trait, especially because as she gets more and more invested in a person or ideal, her willingness to let go, even in the face of likely death, decreases dramatically. see episode 55 for reference, among others. she also has a rather Goblinish inability to effectively communicate the depths of her feelings, though this is sort of an aspect of her defense of her Gooey Center and something she’s actively working on. Now here’s something Nott’s got. So much love. More love than can be contained by one family. Angry love, protective love, throw-all-the-dishes-on-the-floor-in-a-pile love. Draw the dragon’s attention so her friend she’s had for less than a day can get away love. She can and will sacrifice herself for the people she cares about. (runners up: Nott, whomst loves, Yasha, very good at using the Fury to pursue the Devotion, Jester, whose love is so powerful it brings people back from the dead, and Caleb, even less able to discuss his feelings than Beau) Lowest scorer: Fjord. This does NOT mean he doesn’t love his friends, or that he’s not sometimes very angry, but they aren’t connected. He’s still keeping everyone at arm’s length, tbh. Again, this is something that will be easier to judge with more backstory.

and finally 7) Hideous Cackling Top Score: Mollymauk Tealeaf. This is what a Goblin does when surveying their Collection of Crap and the Chaos they have caused. This is how they communicate with fellow Minions in the know, how they react to seeing someone else’s Gooey Center, to catching the Laser Pointer. This is the easiest way to express their feelings of Devotion. The Hideous Cackle of a True Goblin is un-selfconscious and entirely for the benefit of the Cackler. Cackling Hideously is an act of self love. You can find your goblin group by listening to the Discordant Chorus made by Cackling together, and when you’re all reveling in the cacophony, there you are. It’s a little hedonistic and a little punk and a little queer, disregarding conventional expectations of beauty or family or polite behavior, and all about diving deep into the things that you are and the things that make you happy. An extremely Molly philosophy, truth be told. Nott Cackles, sometimes. More since Yeza is back. Unclear whether this arc ending in safe Brenatto Boys will leave her more prone to Cackling, or if she’ll miss them and be too sad :( (runner up: Jester, gleeful agent of chaos) Lowest scorers: Caleb and Fjord. Part of their higher charisma is being careful with their words and presentation. A truly Hideous Cackle doesn’t have time to be self conscious.

And now, the rankings themselves!

Nott The Brave Collection of Crap– So. Many. Buttons.  10/11 Chaos– FLUFFERNUTTERRRRRRRRRR!  8/11 Minionhood– Eh. She’s more of a supporter than a follower.  3/11 Gooey Center–  She’s not particularly secretive about her feelings or opinions 4/11 Laser Pointer Focus–  Her main goals are all inwardly motivated and have not changed during the campaign.  3/11 Furious Devotion– Her love is extremely powerful.  10/11 Hideous Cackling– Reunited with her husband, she has felt freer to Cackle, she also seems to appreciate her current job a lot  6/11 total score: 44/77

Caleb Collection of Crap– keeps everything in his pockets except for his cat, which is in his heart.  11/11 Chaos– Absolutely creates it, and is starting to revel in it.  6/11 Minionhood– Formerly a Minion, he is now hellbent on the destruction of the System. Good for him.  0/11 Gooey Center– Easily smashed by any large or medium-sized hammer, but maintains staunch denial of inner Gooeyness.  8/11 Laser Pointer Focus– Has goal, will travel. Difficult to redirect.  5/11 Furious Devotion– Slow to accept his own devotion, but very committed once he has.  10/11 Hideous Cackling– Having friends and talking about his feelings is good for him. He’s getting better at this. 3/11 total score: 43/77

Yasha Collection of Crap– A whole book of pressed flowers!  6/11 Chaos– She doesn’t really revel in it :/.  5/11 Minionhood-- Serves a higher power and follows along the decisions of others in the group, even when not super enthused about them, like going to Xhorhas.  8/11 Gooey Center– All the Gooeyer for being well protected, and though her emotional walls are not the most formidable in the party, the amount of protected feeling was unexpected  11/11 Laser Pointer Focus– Loyal to two guides, the Stormlord and the M9, though the Stormlord can pull her easily away from the group.  9/11 Furious Devotion– Very very angry.  10/11 Hideous Cackling– Could stand to be a bit more open about it.  4/11 Total score: 53/77

Fjord Collection of Crap– Collection is limited in scope and volume, but high in Strangeness.  8/11 Chaos– a troublemaker, for sure and certain.  7/11 Minionhood– Literally A Minion right now, summons demonic minions on occasion.  11/11 Gooey Center– Desperately wants somebody, anybody, to tell him he’s doing a Good Job. Adamantly refuses to admit that.  8/11 Laser Pointer Focus– this man cannot resist pushing buttons, be they physical, emotional, or likely to end the word.  10/11 Furious Devotion– He is angry, but it’s not focused. To get more points here, he needs to be less angry at himself.  3/11 Hideous Cackling– too self conscious! loosen up! needs to Cackle in his own voice.  3/11 total score: 50/77

Beau Collection of Crap– Wants to know everything, is building a family. Some points lost for minimalist monk aesthetic.  8/11 Chaos– Aspiring member of Nott the Best Detective Agency, punches people to learn about them. BUT she is apparently a Voice Of Reason, which makes it harder. 4/11 Minionhood– would destroy me for even suggesting it.  1/11 Gooey Center– just! wants! everyone! to! get! along!  7/11 Laser Pointer Focus– Is becoming a moral compass?  2/11 Furious Devotion– JUST! WANTS! EVERYONE! TO! GET! ALONG!  11/11 Hideous Cackling– Tries too hard to be cool. Like yeah, she is cool, but she tries too hard to make sure people know.  5/11 total score: 38/77

Molly Collection of Crap– Behold the coat. 8/11 Chaos– He has that certain je ne se quois.  10/11 Minionhood– The Moonweaver in not a fan of her followers following anyone’s orders. also he has his own minions and doesn’t want them  3/11 Gooey Center-- Loves openly and without reservation. and also……………………  8/11 Laser Pointer Focus– Molly’s focus is loving his friends and knowing fuck all.  5/11 Furious Devotion– Found a tall sad lady and made his circus adopt her. gives money to orphans.  7/11 Hideous Cackling– Genuinely personified this action for two years.  11/11 total score: 52/77

Jester Collection of Crap– In addition to being the Holder Of The Bag, she also collects doughnuts and cool shit. While most of her random shit has potential uses, it’s also a whole lot of random shit. Some of its weasels.  10/11 Chaos– Spreading discord is a religious mandate for her. Her powers come from chaos.  11/11 Minionhood– A champion of the Yes And, she is more likely to voice her opinion of an existing plan than come up with her own. She is definitely a better minion than the Traveler’s other ONE.  10/11 Gooey Center– Physically well-defended, she has the luxury of wearing her heart on her sleeve. 6/11 Laser Pointer Focus– It might seem like she’s easily distracted, but that’s actually because her surface level attention is secondary. her primary goal is actually Fucking Shit Up, and she’s good at it. 7/11 Furious Devotion– Gets attached and does. not. let. go.  10/11 Hideous Cackling– The end goal of practically everything Jester does is Cackling With The Traveler, and she often succeeds.  10/11 total score: 64/77

Caduceus: Collection of Crap– Dude has a swarm of bugs living in his staff, and his backpack is full of tea.  8/11 Chaos– NOT a fan of stuff that disrupts the proper order of nature, but he is developing a wonderful and unique sense of humor. 5/11 Minionhood– Of all the M9, Caduceus has the strongest adherence to an ironclad and pre-written set of ethics and willingness to follow the path a greater power has laid out for him.  10/11 Gooey Center– Encourages everyone else to talk about their feelings, yet doesn’t talk about his own in the same way. Mysterious. 7/11 Laser Pointer Focus– Has a well-defined goal, but not a well defined path. 11/11 Furious Devotion-- You can’t be On A Quest To Save Your Home (And The World?) if you’re not devoted to your home. However we haven’t seen the fury? Structured devotion is different and not exactly Goblin. 5/11 Hideous Cackling– Cackling is a bit more intense than what he does, but he’s on the right track. 5/11 total score: 51/77

final ranking (out of 77)

38, Beau 👊

43, Caleb 🐱

44, Nott 🏹

50, Fjord 🗡️

51, Caduceus 🐞

52, Molly 🎴

53, Yasha ⚡

64, Jester 🦄

All in all, a pretty Goblin Group, and Nott, the only one who is physically a goblin, is not even in the middle of the pack. Clearly, true Goblin Spirit is something else all together. 

It seem that perhaps the True Goblin Was The Friends We Made Along The Way. also Jester.

[thebiblesalesman]

Thoughts on Genji in Storm Rising

Storm Rising reframes the beginning of Genji’s journey and his interaction with the original Overwatch. Gone is the Genji who “single-mindedly set about the task of dismantling his family’s criminal empire” and abandoned Overwatch when his mission was complete.

Instead Storm Rising is the latest bookmark of a Genji who invested himself in Overwatch for an extended period of time and has finally begun to encounter support and friendship as a part of the Strike Team. Perhaps most importantly, the mission shows us that Genji is already capable of responding to positivity and that his Retribution-era coldness was not so much an inability to be properly social as it was a reflection of the dark personalities around him. 

There are a few gaps between Retribution and Storm Rising that might be relevant to Genji’s personality shift: (1) we still don’t know exactly how his Shimada Clan mission went, or (2) the reason his cybernetics were upgraded (aside from his Blackwatch design looking very prototypy). We do know that one year prior to Storm Rising, Genji was sparring with Tracer while Blackwatch was on suspension and did not yet have his new cybernetics. In the year between Uprising and Storm Rising, a decision was made to export Genji to mainline Overwatch for some reason. Blackwatch is (kinda) back in action at the time of Storm Rising- I think I’ll talk more about that in a dedicated “plot developments” post.

We also know from other media that Storm Rising takes place within months of the destruction of Overwatch HQ. Any support Genji gained during his time with the Strike Team will be lost very soon, and I have to imagine that various revelations about Blackwatch and public opinion on Overwatch as a whole could do a lot of damage to someone whose body has been extensively modified to assist the organization. In the even more immediate future, Genji is going to be badly damaged by Doomfist despite his new cybernetics.

These defeats raise other questions, like did Genji perhaps avoid other members of the Strike Team purposefully after Overwatch ended, or did they simply not reach out to him? This is a particular quandary for the new character Captain Sojourn, who is shown in Storm Rising to be committed to supporting Genji as a fellow cyborg.

But there are a lot of routes the developers could take on explaining Sojourn’s absence in Genji’s life after Overwatch. For example, maybe Genji’s Nomad skin is literal rather than thematic canon and he actually disguised his identity in the most fashionable way possible. Maybe Sojourn was injured during the destruction of HQ and acquired triple amnesia. Maybe she was arrested after the arrival of the Petras Act. The possibilities are truly endless. It would really be nice to get some sort of media about the destruction of HQ and its aftermath...someday...

Genji’s persistent discomfort with his cybernetics seems like it should have been addressed by support specialists sometime before Retribution or in the two years since. Maybe it was, and there is just no interest in showing Genji’s psych evaluations as part of a poppy bright mission cutscene. Experiences like Genji’s don’t go away with one or two visits from a qualified professional, or ever, so it’s entirely possible Overwatch put as much support as they could into him and it simply was not helping. 

But it is interesting to me that Sojourn is the one showing some empathy to Genji’s condition, whereas the doctor who saved his life generally makes light of her role. Other interactions in Storm Rising do seem to indicate that Mercy is not very good with people, and I would be remiss not to discuss the Gency interactions in the mission, but I think I’m going to do that in a separate Mercy-focused post. She got a lot of love this mission too, and not just from Genji.

I think what’s got me scratching my head is the sanitizing effect the Storm Rising personality shift has on Overwatch’s disgraceful conduct toward Genji.

On the one hand, demonstrating Genji’s preexisting ability to be something other than an angry boy and showing off how he responds to positive people dovetails nicely into his eventual meeting with Zenyatta. The interactions in Storm Rising also elevate the other members of the Strike Team, showing how they are genuinely trying to be Genji’s ally. Contrast this to the Blackwatch team, who frequently refer to Genji as an asset rather than a person.

On the other hand there is a Marvel-like unwillingness to explore the ethics of the story Overwatch sets forth for Genji, but given the punchy comic book underpinnings of the lore I guess that should not be a surprise at all. There’s a hyperintelligent hamster in this game. 

And while there may be a lack of emphasis on certain human rights situations, the devs are very interested in covering how the heroes in Overwatch altered the trajectories of each other’s lives. Genji and Zenyatta was always the classic example of this, but now we know Genji was not a wall to everyone that came before. He is, in fact, quite human. :)

Just in case you left this mission with the sense of “why does he even need Zenyatta then?”, I’ll reiterate a few things. First and foremost, Overwatch is about to be destroyed, and then Overwatch activity is made illegal by the Petras Act. Genji’s hero profile still describes him as having “abandoned Overwatch”, but maybe it was more that he was torn from a purpose he was serving as a replacement for having a life.

I’m not convinced Genji has a sense of himself beyond his occupation in Overwatch even during Storm Rising. But whereas others in Blackwatch could be brazenly ignorant of what he was going through, the Strike Team seems to be mostly on-board with including him as a friend as much as a coworker, leading to interactions such as this:

Genji’s sense of humor is much more obvious in this mission overall (”mAYbE hE jUST liKEs to loOk at IT”), but his tone also oscillates wildly, going cold when there is a brush of conduct that sounds like Blackwatch work (”he’ll talk”) or when the subject turns to his cybernetics (”was that a joke?”, but he isn’t laughing). Most people have by now noticed elements of his behavior in the cutscenes such as him checking with the team about what he needs to do, then his arm shaking when he is not allowed to outright kill Maximilien. His embrace of the Strike Team could just be another prop to keep himself going.

When Genji says the ocean is beautiful in the quote a little ways above, he is looking at the sea under the influence of a hurricane, covered in lightning.

Genji’s anger is not something that ever goes away, even years later during the events of Dragons. It is not something even Zenyatta can take from him, because the goal of healing is not to erase a feeling that exists, but to improve how we deal with it.

(As an alternative hypothesis, the shaking is not just anger but some issue with the new cybernetics. Considering how robotic the motion is...did something happen to his remaining arm? Note how Maximilien, who is completely machine, moves with far more grace and control in the same scene.)

I also want to note that Genji considers Maximilien “dramatic”, and his tone when speaking about Maximilien and his money tends to be disdainful. Genji comes from a rich criminal family himself, but no one on the Strike Team appears to pick up on that angle of his responses. I think it’s safe to say he is holding a few cards close to his chest and trying to stay macho about the whole situation, but that’s not really what he needs to heal. 

So get to it, Zenyatta.

[fluffmugger]

introspectivenavelgazer said: I’m curious about your thoughts OH HOLD ON BB I GOT OPINIONS. ITS BAD. 

sabacc said: ah, the disturbing things bingo movie oh no. nononoo. Make no mistake. This was not a “nooope” situation.  There was precisely one moment in a teaser that actually triggered me, and that was so fucking poorly done in the end product I ACTUALLY ENDED UP LAUGHING. I’m  not exaggerating, check the post. First time I saw that it pulled a very hard visceral cord, and when the Kersh scene came up in the movie, I was huddled up in my chair, hoodie on, ear blocking ready to ride out that wave of programmed fear.   Instead, I fucking laughed because the whole thing was so fucking ridiculous. What was a deft, vicious piece of editing got completely fucking wrecked.  And that’s pretty much what happened to the story, that film was a hot mess of absolute bullshit.  It not only completely fucked up the overarching themes of the original story, it made no fcking narrative sense in and of itself as a movie verse Lo, there be spoilers...

While some parts I can understand for expediency - such as sidelining Audra and shifting Bill’s obsessive run to IT being based on a local child that he ultimately fails to save, why the fuck have Audra in it in the first place? A five second appearance so ...wha, you can make a running joke on Bill sucking at writing endings that’s just an endless sledge against King? What was the fucking point of that?     Likewise the inclusion of Silver, stripped down to a single cameo that only got vaguely saved because it put him in the place where he could meet aforementioned kid (now living in Bill’s old house in a most contrived of plot points but I will allow it because it works) and form an emotional connection. The whole reason for them standing to face IT is shifted from the pact they formed - the childhood vow they could never break - to Beverley instead somehow magically seeing the future while trapped in the deadlights, and realising that if they didn’t finish IT once and for all, even after the cycle they would all eventually take their own lives like Stan did, unable to live with the taint.  While this could be a interesting take in and of itself - if you do not face the demons of your childhood, they will destroy you one way or another - it completely shifts the core motivation to one of self interest.    Initially the Losers (especially Bill) did actually take on IT from a position of self interest (and young Bill actually has a moment of self agony over it, is he only leading  his friends into a deadly crusade because he wants vengeance for Georgie? Does he have that right? Is he nothing but a “selfish little shit waving a tin sword”), but it became so much more, and these children became monster slayers.   It’s the hero’s journey.   And shifting that makes it a corruption, not into a subversion.   It was also so damned messily handled - it could have been interesting , the idealism of childhood shifting to pragmatism of adulthood, but it was reduced to a handwave threat, and they didn’t need to be threatened.  The original story had a whole intertwined creep that was fucking beautiful, this veneer of adults in control of their own lives and destiny being stripped away in thin layers, with the Losers gradually beginning to dimly perceive they are simply parts  of some great cosmic machinery and their illusions of control and indeed  their entire lives are all just that - illusions. The undermining of reality and stripping of power were great Adult Fears that played fucking beautifully in the book.  The silent unspoken Imposter Syndrome, hinted at, but never directly addressed, that all their successes were simply due to being touched by IT.  In the movie? Oh man we’re all gonna kill ourselves if we don’t fix this and it means ...nothing to the characters. Seriously. They all still walk anyway.  And   way too much fucking time is wasted on characters abruptly deciding to leave only to Not At The Last Second.   It’s just a big fat clumsy mess.

They completely chunked out Bowers taking Mike out of the final battle, yet still included him in the film - Why? what was the fucking purpose?  They also intimated that IT was responsible for killing his father - ironically the one fucking murder Bowers did commit -   and adult Bowers was delightfully played, but he served  no fucking purpose whatsoever. Not to drop them to the lesser number of power (5 as opposed to 7), not to drive them into the sewers, what was the fucking purpose of having him there? He shows up, doesn’t even break Eddie’s arm (so there’s your other purpose of resetting the gameboard to the positions of the last confrontation) gets stabbed, gets killed, and they go on la de da.

Michael’s story is absolutely fucked into unrecognisability.  I’ve already ranted about killing off his parents - it’s a dumb fucking decision and I will never fucking excuse it. William Hanlon is a key player in the books, inadvertently preparing his son for his role of watchman.  This is completely lost to the most basic of fucking racial stereotypes.   Holy shit they actually refer to his parents as fucking crack heads  at one point (although this is later revealed to be a fake out by Pennywise), but what does it serve?   While you can argue that removing him is what destabilises Mikes character THERE IS NO FUCKING REASON TO HAVE AN UNSTABLE MIKE.   In the sequel, Mike is clinging to sanity by less than the skin of his teeth, drugging Bill against his will at one point, actively leading everyone into danger with a false promise of victory and generally acting like a desperate fucking madman. Why take a dignified black character and turn him into an unstable Kassandra?  You don’t need a fucking unstable Kassandra, the very nature of what IT is, and its horrific, aeons-long parasitic relationship with Derry is so fucking unbelievable in and of itself it does that for you.   

Likewise Eddie’s adult career  is suddenly changed to being a ...investment? insurance? boring person thing? what the shit? Why not have him own the goddamn largest fleet private chauffeurs? Why change? that one tied back into his navigation skills at least, and there’s serious coin in that shit.   And fucking hell do not get me started on fucking Myra fucking hell if you want to touch a complex and fucked up relationship like that, you don’t handwave it. His entire rampant hypochondria is shifted to  something closer to ...smart arse with some small neuroses?  Ok, but you’re telling me this..why? what is the purpose of this?

Completely out of left field, Richie is heavily intimated to be Queer. Ok.     But they then go on to jam in additional homophobia (and this is on top of Mellon’s death that to be fucking honest is shot way too fucking far on the side of “lookit the smartmouth gay get stomped”)  and Pennywise threatening to reveal Richies Great Secret to the point I literally leaned over and asked His Lordship “The script writer does know this is set in the fucking 21st century, right?”   It could have been a fascinating side story of a man whose trauma keeps himself in a cage even when he doesn’t have to, but it’s not. It’s a hot mess of what the fuck let’s throw a gay (but not too obviously gay we’ll do it so we can claim he’s not so it still sells in china and we have plausible deniability hide your queers, hide your queers!)  in just so we can kill the object of his affection.  YOU DON’T NEED TO AMP UP THE ANGST OVER EDDIES DEATH. WE ALL KNOW ITS COMING. AND IT HURTS.    You know what woulda been ground breaking? You’ve laid the groundwork with Beverley already, have Richie in the deadlights as he is, have Eddie do his Big Damn Hero Save, and then have richie see what’s coming and shove eddie out of the way.  Having Richie die instead of Eddie? Holy crap, no one would have seen that coming. It would have blown up fucking everyone, film, telemovie and book fans alike.   (Also holy shit adult richie, far from being the smart, funny man we all know is a wanker. His comments at the chinese dinner party have none of the genuine humour of the book or even the  Curry adaptation, he comes across as a mean spirited bullying dickhead that you’d all go to the toilet at the same time and climb out the window to avoid. In a kid it’s funny. Kids have no filters. From an adult, it’s fucking poison)  

We also have all these elements of childhood coming back, but there is no purpose to them in the film.  In the book, it’s the wheel turning, the gameboard sliding back to where it was last time they faced IT, a very real embodiment of unfinished business and an inability to escape your childhood - a fact the characters are very well aware of and in varying ways horrified by their own regressions -  but in the film it’s just leaving the audience wondering why are they doing that? why’s that there. what the fuck man. why have bill stutter? So you connect the adults to the kids by using the broadest fucking flanderised tropes possible?  It doesn’t even stand on its own two feet, it relies on way too much back knowledge from other sources. And it reeks as it they bolted on large chunks of some other horror movie script that was presented to the studio and changed the names.  There’s no psychological implications, there’s no deftness, hell there’s no fucking chemistry with any of the fucking actors.  It’s reduced to a jumpscare gore fest. It doesn't even compare to the first half.  It got so bad that by the second act I was literally pointing at the screen and BAM right on cue, there was the jumpscare. That’s how fucking predictable it is.   The CGI was shithouse (I actually burst out laughing during the Paul Bunyan scene as well as the Kersh one it was so fucking bad) the ending is..my god they literally prance around him screaming “fucking clown” until he shrinks, they pluck his heart and crush it. Fuck me, the Curry adaptation had its problems but the savage, ritualistic destruction of IT as they all fell to their knees around and tore it apart with their bare hands had fucking balls at least.  And BTW, it’s only the caverns and the house on neibolt street that get destroyed, the rest of the town is just fuckin’ dandy and it’s like DUDE THE TOWN WAS LITERALLY BUILT ON IT. DERRY CANNOT SURVIVE WITHOUT IT.  IT’S A PARALLEL FOR THE HORRIFIC CANKER  AT THE HEART OF EVERY “LOVELY” AMERICAN SMALL TOWN. THIS IS ABSOLUTELY SOMETHING TO PLAY WITH.  and then, THEN they end it with a letter from Stan. See, Stan didn’t kill himself because in one brief, horrific instant he remembered everything, and even as a child knew he couldn’t face it again and bailed, no... he knew he was going to buckle and killed himself so..he wouldn’t die they wouldn’t all die what. the fuck. was the purpose. of THAT.

In short, it was a phoned in, badly written, badly edited piece of shit, completely purposeless and not even worthy of its predecessor. 

[go-diane-winchester]

Was Misha supposed to be Jared's understudy?

There is a theory circulating around fandom that Misha was supposed to be the understudy for Jared.  In other words, if Jared couldn't or wouldn't be on Supernatural anymore, that job would go to Misha.  Apparently, the theory makes the assumption that Singer didn't have any faith in Jared continuing on the show due to his mental illness, and wanted Misha to take his place because the show was a cash cow [still is] and keeping it safe was Singer's top priority.  This theory has a few holes. 

First, it doesn't factor in Jensen.  Jensen has said time and again, that if Jared left Supernatural, he would leave too.  He puts up with the hours and the requirements because Jared is there with him.  If Jared left, Singer wouldn't have had a show because Jensen would tap out too.  And Singer knows that.  So there no way Singer has a back up plan, just in case Jared got sick and couldn't work anymore.  In fact, Jared was supposed to leave, but Jensen convinced him not to.  Once when Jared made a joke about leaving the show because he was going to win the lottery, Jensen quickly said ''well then buy me out of my contract''.

Second, it doesn't factor in Singer's lack of commitment in the show.  Singer was never completely invested in the show.  He wanted to retire earlier on but Jensen convinced him not to.  When Carver took the helm as showrunner, he was the only one who was the solo showrunner.  Everyone else from Kripke to Dabb have had Singer as a co-showrunner.  When Carver came on bored, Singer stepped down as showrunner and instead took on the title of consultant.  Parts of his previous duties where taken over by people like Phil Sgriccia.  When Dabb was made showrunner, Singer took up his position as co-showrunner again.  Supernatural's future well being is not his concern.  He is actually just making a personal playground for himself and his wife. 

Third, it doesn't factor in Misha's pathetic Q score.  An understudy or back up actor is someone who is has popularity with the majority of the audience and who is a reliable, versatile actor.  Misha is obviously not popular.  He can only play one lackluster character.  And when he is given other characters, the audience laughs.  Misha is not a versatile actor.  Plus, he badmouths his employer.  Other than him, there were only two actors who came close to his status.  Travis Wade, who was extremely popular with fans, and Ty Ohlsson who had serious chemistry with Jensen and even shared the stage with him at Jibcon.  Travis was accused of sexual harassment by Misha's fans and Ty misbehaved, in a state of intoxication during his panel.  But he insists he was roofied.  [I remember thinking, when I first read this:  why would anyone want to roofie you?  Far-fetched much.  Now I don't know what to believe.] 

Supernatural has an inability to understand its audience.  The neutral fans who watch the show for its own sake, with no agenda are the ones that didn't want Wayward.  However, the reason why we are stuck with Misha, Misha isn't instructed to stop queer baiting, and we have destiheller fans destroying reputations is because the CW only finds loud cocklehellers and minions.  There is a marked dearth of fans voicing their love for the show as it used to be and the leads who made it what it is. 

My theory is completely far-fetched but I feel Misha indoctrinates people.  Notice that since Season 8, Misha hasn't been given chunky material to work with.  He has not received a decent storyline except for that one time he played the worst, most laugh-out-loud, cartoonish devil ever.  Enter Madame Grinch, Singer's talentless wife and her ventriloquist dummy Brad Buckner, to facilitate that.  Misha knows his admirers are very few and far between.  And his lapdog/devotee Bob Singer just gives him enough air time so the ratings don't get too badly effected.  Misha gets a pay cheque, screen time, and enough recognition to keep Gish going.  Singer is employed by CW but he works to keep Misha happy.  To put it in simpler terms, Misha networked.  I studied PR.  White House PR is a powerful tool.  All you need is a viable platform for people to listen to you.  Misha's viable platform is destiel and by extension Castiel.  Or vice versa.

[subetei-noykin]

Indepth Profile + RP Call

IDENTIFICATION —

"Can't you see I'm sorry? I'll make it worth your while.

I'm made of dead mans money, you can see it in my smile.”

Full Name: Subetei of the Noykin

Pronunciation: Sue-be-tei

Pseudonym: X

Nicknames: Scales

Age: Thirty Cycles

Name Day: 32nd Sun of the 4th Astral Moon

Birthplace: Azim Steppes, Othard

Guardian: The Salt and Storm

Residence: The Lavender Beds

REFERENCES —

"Thousand faces staring at me, thousand times I've fallen.

Thousand voices dead at my feet. Now I'm gone, now I'm gone, now I'm gone.”

Motto:  “Take only what you're willing to have taken, give only what you're willing to get.”

Theme Song: Fire - Barns Courtney

Face Claim: Jason Momoa (Sorry not Sorry)

STATS —

"The deepest waters won't take me, the highest fall won't break me.

The blood and sweat is what made me, made me."

Gender: Male

Race: Au Ra, Xaela Tribe (Noykin)

Height: Seven fulms, one ilm

Weight: Two-hundred sixty one ponze

Eyes: Narrow and hawkish, right eye crystalline blue with large pupil, left damaged and milky white with blood infiltration in the orb

Hair: Steel gray with straw blonde tips, swept back and spiked with four long braids in the front. Medium length at first glance, actually shoulder blade length.

Skin: Purple-Blue, rough and calloused with hard lines

Build: Muscular and toned but wide and sturdy, good bone structure

Auri Features: Dark Blue/Purple scales over majority of face and body including jaw line and nose bridge. Six visible horns, two pronounced which have metallic inserts on their tips and dagger-like shape while the remaining four rise from his hairline and scalp

Scars: Reference Here

Tattoos/Marks: None

At First Glance (+5)

A Warrior: Spotting him in a crowd is rarely hard and he is typically armed, though rarely fully armored. It's in the way he holds himself, the rhythm he moves and the gait which threatens to push those who step in his path over. Even without his rough appearance or scars, or even the callouses on his hands, it would be hard to mistake him for anything but what he is with his body language and the myriad of battle scars covering him. He may smile and laugh, be friendly and around his mate he can even be seen as a gentle man, but there is always a sharpness to his eye and readiness for violence that reads in him clearly enough to put others off.

Odd-Eye: While his eye-patches admirably hide it, Subetei's left eye is utterly decimated and even the surrounding skin shows tell-tale burns, scar edges and fissures of skin that have healed and marred over. It is impossible to not notice in good lighting and seeing it is unsettling to say the least. Underneath it is even worse; The eye has been split and sealed, re-healed and fused to the skin in some places. The milky white orb is bloodshot in places and has flecks of blood mixed in, with no real pupil, and some parts of the bone stick out near the edges of the eye. It is a gruesome sight and it is why he rarely removes his eye patch.

Self-Made: While he does wear some items professionally made or fitted, the vast majority of what Subetei wears is hand-stitched and crafted by him for his own purposes and as such it is rare to find him not wearing something made of hide, leather or decked in fur. While not ugly or poor quality there is a definite simplicity in his designs that shows. Hardly flashy or elegant, there is also an element of Xaelan tribalism that shows as well; Fang necklaces, hanging tassels and colored patterns, it would be hard to ignore such a thing and Subetei wears it proudly.

Heavy Metal: Contrasting to his own creations, Subetei is rarely far from well crafted and maintained arms to the point that even in his most casual moments he will have a hand or cutting axe available. In private this isn't so much a problem, but in public he is usually dragging around a greataxe of proportional size to himself, and this can mean that one is suddenly faced with an over seven fulms tall Xaela with an axe larger than most hyurans. A startling sight to be sure.

Talk Like A Pirate: Despit having been born in Othard, Subetei has spent most of his life and living in Limsa Lominsa, to the extent that he learned the common speech of Eorzea -from- Limsan natives. He speaks with a thick accent of Limsan that on it's own would be rough to discern but he also had the rich, deep and gravel-like voice of a Xaela with their unique speech patterns and inflections. This makes his natural speech difficult to pull apart and understand, though he can control it to some degrees. Speaking more slowly and clearly often allows him to at least be understood with minimal thought.

FACTS —

"Forged in a fire lit long ago, stand next to me and you'll never stand alone.

I'm last to leave but the first to go, lord make me dead before you make me old."

Occupation: Freelance Mercenary, Hunter, Tanner

Specialties: Close Combat, Hunting, Animal Taming & Pack Combat, Archery, Squad Tactics and Battlefield Strategy

Skills: Adept Blacksmith, Expert Tanner and Leatherworker

PROFICIENCY —

"Hey you there in the mirror, yeah that's something to fear

Cla cla claw my way to the top, cause i don't believe in luck."

Education: Self-taught

Favored Weapon(s): Axes of all shapes and sizes

Secondary Weapon(s): Hunting Bows, Knives

Magic Abilities: Berserker Rage (Innate Aether, Uncontrolled

Magic Strengths: Untested, Unknown

RELATIONS —

"I said all this time I'm thinking my body don't need me, all we can do is breathe

Said all this time I'm thinking your body can set me free, all we can do is breathe."

Sexual Preference: Demisexual

Romantic Identification: Monogamous

Relationship Status: Mated

Sweet on: Neyuki

Alignment: True Neutral

Allies: Various Mercenary and Adventurer Friends

Enemies: The Elementals and Various Other Factions

FAMILY —

"By the skin of my teeth, I'm comin' home

By the sole of my feet, I'm comin'home

I'm comin' home, but I ain't comin' home for you."

Maternal: Urnai Noykin (Deceased)

Parental: Ergan Noykin (Unknown)

Mentor: Valdhur Granspar (Former Captain of The Wakehounds Privateers, deceased)

Associates:

Neyuki Utaura (Mate, Companion, Medic)

Mathias Bedois (Friend)

Seemo Eulen (Friend?)

Faucertaux Carpentier (Former Boss, Friend)

Sigrid Der'ioslainn (Former Captain, Friend)

Ulan Qestir (Friend)

Roka (Friend)

Nerkhun Malaguld (Friend, Companion of Ulan)

Bexy and the Limsan Fight Club (Friends and Punch Partners)

Renaux Mercier and the Gin Mills (Friends and Maiming Muchacos)

Illyriana Usagi and the Garden of Words (Friends, FC-Mates and Co-workers)

Alred Briarthorne, Wind Moondark, Asajin & The Black Crown Mercenaries (Former Squadmates and Subordinates)

[List Continues for some time, he knows a lot of folks and I can't name them all oh god]

Companion: Valdhur [Red Chocobo, Warbred]

MENTALITY —

"One day the shadows will surround me. Someday the days will come to end

Sometime I’ll have to face the real me. Somehow I’ll have to learn to bend"

Social Level: Easily coaxed into social behavior. Open and brash. Jovial and quick to friendship. Hard to anger or offend. Comfortable in small groups or large crowds equally.

Optimistic View(s): There is no shame in the work of living, no sin in the act of surviving.

Pessimistic View(s): No one gets out alive. Life will take all it gives in time.

One  Positive Personality Trait:  Subetei is the sort of person who attracts others with a boisterous personality and a hearty laugh, no matter the circumstances. Even in the midst of a fight he can usually find time to crack a smile or a joke and in social settings it is rare he lets someone be a 'wallflower' around him, opening his table and tab to others with little reservation.

One Negative Personality Trait: Subetei is incredibly physical and has no consideration for his own monstrous strength around others. From a simple hand-shake to sparring, he does not hold back in any interaction with others and while this is normally not an issue, it makes it hard to be around him if one is frail or excitable.

·One Personality Warning: Abuse of his trust is tantamount to asking to die when it comes to Subetei. If he considers you a close friend, which takes some work, breaking that bond is traumatic to him in a very personal way and if you're lucky, you'll simply find yourself on the bad end of an ass whooping. If what you'e done is severe enough, he has no qualms about seeking his own revenge and retribution no matter what laws or barriers would stand between him and you.

Random Quirk: Digs his claws into furniture when excited.

Hobbies: Wandering and Riding, Sparring and Training, Physical Labors, Brewing Mead and Alcohol

Addictions: Work, Neyuki, Fighting and Violence

Habits: Glib, Violence Prone, Outgoing and Upbeat, Accidental Intimidation, Intentional Intimidation, Swearing Every Other Word

Pleasures: Good Drink, Hunting, The Outdoors, Working with Animals, Seafaring, Combat and Fighting, Sex, Control

Appreciates (List 5+)

Humility Humor Craftsmanship Beauty Strength Honesty Commitment Self-Control Accomplishment Skill Knowing Ones Self

Dislikes (List 5+)

Defeatism Lies Fire Unearned Authority Disrespect Paranoia False Promises Intolerance

Strengths (List 5+)

Patient Good Teacher Honest and Loyal Hardworking Committed and Dedicated Physical Dynamo Thrifty and Coinwise Good Business Sense Open and Tolerant (Tries to be) Thoughtful Extroverted and Inviting Able to Listen or Chat equally Forgets grudges easily Self-Reliant Outdoorsman Expert Mercenary Tactical Mindset

Weaknesses (List 5+)

Berserker Easy to break Trust Difficulty developing relationships Addicted to combat and violence Mercenary attitude Grey Morality Self-invested Coin Driven No Self-Preservation Neyuki No Family Values Craves Work and Physical Exertion Cannot Cook Carries Weight, Even if he doesn't have to

Fears (List 5+)

Losing Neyuki Losing his remaining eye The loss of freedom Inability To Work or Fight Returning To Othard

FAVORITES ––

“I spent those days huntin' hard and fast, With no place to lay my head

And the sound of the rain against the roof, Was loud enough to wake the dead”

Favorite Food(s): Jerky, Aldgoat Steak, Breadfruit, Stews, Anything La Noscean

Favorite Drink(s): Teas, Ale Mead or Rum, Water, Coffee

Favorite Scent(s): Heat, Dry earth, rain on the breeze, herbs and sweets, metal sparking and copper in the mud

Favorite Colors: Black, Brown, Green and Blue or subcolors

TRIVIA ––

We seek tomorrow’s sun, It’s all for the taking here

Only the valiant survive, Live for better years

Subetei's mixed upbringing has given him a tenuous faith in the Twelve, or the Xaelan deities, and instead he has developed a slightly paganistic viewpoint of the world in the form of natural phenomena. The Salt and Storm, as he calls this viewpoint, is a simple belief that while life is harsh and can be demanding, it's pains and undertakings are rewarding in experience if nothing else. It also holds a certain karmic edge to it as well. He does not really call this a 'religion' or believe others should live like this.

His wounded eye is extraordinarily light sensitive despite being functionally blind and when exposed to sunlight or other equally bright sources it's akin to having the wound reopened with blades of salt and fire. It causes him incredible pain and exposure for a long period can lead to blacking out or migraines so intense they last days. His eyepatch is as much a safety measure as it is a decoration for him and as such he wears extremely well-made patches. Metal wires are used to reinforce the straps and the leather is studded if not inset with metal sheets. He also uses metal ringlets on his horns to hold the patches in place. If he expects particularly pitched or harsh conditions he will often use salves or pastes to hold the patch in place.

With his inherent reliance on instincts and natural tendency to disassociate from morality or consciousness during battle, Subetei has developed a dangerous habit of going into berserker trances during battle that put his already high reflexes into overdrive and his natural senses become sharp enough that he has, for instance, picked up the sound of an arrow approaching and smashed it aside before it can connect with him. While useful and extremely dangerous to others, it presents a unique danger to himself as well, as his already uncomfortably high pain tolerance is also increased and he has been known to inflict damage on himself to continue to fight, even at the risk of health or death.

Subetei has an unstable aether that has never been trained, developed or explored in any respect. He cannot use aetheryte, cast spells or channel it in any meaningful way willingly or consciously and those who try and scry his aetheric strength are faced with a soupy, chaotic mess that does not spell much out. Yet he has been known to perform feats that can only be described as 'inhuman' when he fights unconsciously and in his trances, leading some to conclude that Subetei's aether actively permeates him at all times and empowers him, allowing him to fight at above-optimal strength and focus even when he should be gravely wounded. This is not formally confirmed, but it would explain why he also tends to be quick to recover from wounds and injuries as well as his distaste for sitting still and being idle.

While he and Neyuki share an amazing chemistry that cannot be called anything but 'love', Subetei has historically been awkward and uncomfortable around women and intimacy in the past. During his time before Neyuki he had next to no partners and no long-term relationships due to his emotional issues at his younger age and later on his insistence on isolation. He also has certain physical irregularities that make him wary of sex. When approached sexually or flirtatiously he often comes off as cold and aloof, if not outright dismissive, as he has frankly no fucking idea how to react to it in most circumstances.

While Subetei does a good job of containing it, there is a part of him that thrives in the loosening of his reins and control. This primarily comes to the front during battle when he looses himself, but it also tends to show in other moments where restraint is pressed; This includes his time with Neyuki and they are infamous in certain taverns and inns for the destruction of property that has occurred when Subetei truly lets go of himself, and more than once it has been suggested that Subetei's habit of carrying Neyuki everywhere is a symptom of this.

Subetei can pilot a boat and maintain a ship well enough that he is often comfortable going out by himself on sailboats over moderate distances and he loves the ocean, but a certain thrill-seeking part of him loves the sky and airships. During his time in a mercenary company with such vessels he frequently took out the ship he was assigned and used it for all sorts of activities, both on and off the job.

It cannot be understated the kind of outdoorsman Subetei is, to the extent that he can and has survived over a month in the wilderness with only basic supplies to begin with. During his time as a hunter and mercenary he has learned many survival and wilderness methods that he has also become a scarily accurate tracker and wayfinder, though he often does not use those skills in anything but his actual work. He has discovered some secreted places in his times in the wilderness and though he has recorded them quietly, he does not intend to explore or give away their location. Some things are intriguing to simply know.

Subetei's eye was lost during an extremely controversial moment in Gridanian history, where the Wood Wailers and Twin Adders as well as mercenaries hired by an unconfirmed source, descended on a Keeper of the Moon encampment accused of poaching and harboring criminals to the Shroud. Subetei balked when the order was given to drive the children and non-combatants out of the encampment with fire, an act that would have cost lives, and turned on his employers. Though he survived he harbors a lasting grudge against the Elementals, for allowing such an act to be considered free of sin yet hunting to survive be an act worthy of reprisal, and he further disdains Gridania for their involvement in the action and subsequent attempts to play the act off as the work of factions impersonating Wailers and Adders.

One might be forgiven for assuming Subetei does not speak the Auri dialect anymore after his time in the rest of the world but this is extremely untrue. While he has difficulty reading Auri script nowadays he can still speak fluent and distinct Auri with an old Xaelan syntax and inflection that marks his time away from the Steppe. He chooses not to converse in it often, even among other Xaela, to preserve the air of distance he has from the Xaelan culture and to keep an ear on those around him if they do speak it. He is also fluent in sign and non-verbal gestures as Neyuki is mute, allowing him to communicate with Qester rather comfortably at times.

Subetei is a Noykin by blood and nothing else. He does not use his name as a surname and instead as a title, as if it is only a formal thing, and he does not recognize any other Noykin as his brothers or sisters in any way. Though he still retains many of their skills and love of animals he is long removed form his family and their culture. To introduce oneself to him as a fellow Noykin is to receive the same greeting as anyone else, but he has no patience or acceptance for those who would use the name to garner clout with him.

OOC -

Server: Balmung

Timezone: PST

Mun: Male / 28yrs

Experience: Roleplay Experience of 14+ years. Writes in any format, matches length and complexity where possible. Will scene In-Game, Discord and other mediums as requested.

Type of RP: Any/All, Mature and R-Rated themes included. Long-term Storylines or One-shot scenes. Enjoys interacting with Canon and OC alike.

Looking for: Friends, Partners, Punchvictims, Employers, Brothers or Sisters in Arms, Privateers and Pirates, Gridanians and Ishgardians to grouse at, Rivals or Antagonists. Pretty much anyone!

RP Hunting Time!

This post is mainly an RP call for anyone who’s interested in plotting, roleplaying or otherwise hanging out ICly. I’m not looking for anything in particular, no specific scenes or types of scenes, Subetei is flexible morally and ideologically.

Need a hired hand? Gil makes for strange bedfellows. Old pirate or mercenary contact? Sounds like drinks at a tavern. Want to fight? Time to fight. Canon or OC, no difference to me.

I’m not sure how I feel about AUs and the like, so anything like that would need it’s own discussion!

Feel free to directly message me here on Tumblr or on Discord at Versesai#3794!