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thebibliomancer · 1 year ago

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Essential Avengers: Avengers #300: Inferno Squared

February, 1989

Presenting the NEW TEAM!

Mister Fantastic

The Mighty THOR

Invisible Woman

Steve Rogers, the CAPTAIN

and reintroducing

Gilgamesh, the FORGOTTEN ONE!

-reverent whisper- The Worst Roster!

Its finally arrived...

I’m going to keep an open mind because at least its not Dr Druid, who I will never stop dunking on. But Gilgamesh is dragging this team down. Look at him in the cast box. He’s just a grim brunette with a boxy head.

Thor is going to be on the same team. You’re going to put Gilgamesh in Thor’s shadow right from day 2? You’re not giving him much of a chance, Simonson.

Also, the title is technically INFERNO^2 but I don’t know how to do the superscript thing and I don’t think it works in the title bar.

Last times on Avengers!

Thor disbanded the Avengers. There are no Avengers.

Because of X-Men demon related biz, the Captain Notmerica decided to go get Invisible Woman and Mr Fantastic in the middle of the night. But they’re already involved in another subplot with a creepy egg kidnapping Franklin.

The heroes chase Nanny down but find her enforcer Orphan-Maker and Franklin-in-a-robot-suit tough fights. Also, Gilgamesh showed up to specifically this subplot even though he was going to New York to fight demons.

AND THE KANG SUBPLOT IS STILL HAPPENING?

GOD DAMN IT

This is Fred Kang, the Kang that was sorta the focus Kang of the Kang Klubhouse subplot of the Nebula Kang arc.

He nicknamed himself after Fred Flintstone.

While every other Kang was getting seduced by Nebula Kang into giving away their best technology, Fred Kang kept his dick in his pants and helped Beard Kang and Dinosaur Kang go after Nebula Kang to stop her from stealing the weapon in the bubble in the center of time that the Kangs really wanted.

But after freeing the Avengers from Nebula Kang mind control, the Kangs fell into time and disappeared.

Fred Kang finds that he’s still trapped on the surface of the time bubble in time. That’s why its all pink around him. Time bubbles are pink.

And that’s why I’m peeved at seeing Kang. Aside from the subplot doing nothing and being bad, explaining it takes a whole lot of words considering how nothing of a story it was.

Fred Kang says a lot of technobabble about why he’s still alive and how he’ll be dead once random probabilities run out.

But he gets distracted by seeing a vision of the demonic invasion of New York. And wonders where the fuck the Avengers are.

Hey, you and me both, buddy.

He speculates that the demons killed the Avengers and are destroying alternate futures. But that can’t be because the Avengers are going to enter the time bubble, the bubble in time in the future. So therefore, he needs to enter their probability envelope to escape non-existence.

Just so much technobabble. I hate you, Fred Kang.

Long story short, he’s going to try to help the Avengers to ensure his own existence.

There is just so much Kang in this ISSUE THREE HUNDRED OF AVENGERS, WHICH IS PRIMARILY CONCERNED WITH AN X-MEN CROSSOVER EVENT.

My positivity is leaving my body.

Kang spies on N’astirh and some of his demon guys discussing all the child sacrifice Madelyne Pryor is getting read to do. Kang don’t like that none.

Not because of the child sacrifice but it does mean that the timeline is going a direction that’s bad for him, personally.

He finds what he thinks are some Avengers (being the Captain, Mr Fantastic, and Invisible Woman) and flies off to their position.

In a bit I kinda love, Mr Fantastic backseat drives Sue by telling her to use her force field to protect herself from being set on fire.

And her reaction is ‘yeah, no shit.’

Gilgamesh is not so worried about how to stop Franklin without harming him. He just walked up and punches Red Franklin in the back.

Luckily (for Franklin’s spine) the suit is pretty mighty and holds up well. Presumably, Gilgamesh is a lot more rusty than he thought.

Meanwhile, the Captain clobbers Orphan-Maker to pay back the cheap shot. He knocks him on his ass and the creep starts crying to Nanny.

Mr Fantastic realizes, oh right, the egg.

He wraps around Orphan-Maker and threatens to murder him if Nanny doesn’t free Franklin.

Mr Fantastic: “I don’t want to hurt your boy, but where my child is at risk, I’ll be just as bad as I have to be. Don’t make me do something we’ll both regret.”

Lamentably, Inferno keeps happening.

Back over with N’astirh, one of his horrible demons brings Red Franklin to N’astirh’s attention and goes ‘hey its an important baby, a dark childe.’

Having this dark childe would help them more efficiently fuck over Madelyne Pryor after she plays her part in this mess.

Back at the quasi-Avengers part of the plot, Nanny agrees to leave without Franklin. But as she’s getting into her airship, she nursery rhyme orders Franklin to murder everyone.

Mr Fantastic was expecting this. Because an easy way to have him be the smartest person in the room is to let him read ahead in the script.

But now that Nanny and Orphan-Maker are out of the picture, Reed has a plan to free Franklin. Or kill him.

Reed... Reed just does this stuff sometimes.

Invisible Woman: “But -- you may hurt him! Even kill him!”

Mr Fantastic: “We must take that chance, darling. As long as he’s under Nanny’s mental control, the entire world is in deadly peril!”

Is it though?

It’s a mighty robot suit but he’s barely a deadly peril to the entire park.

Like I said, Reed just does this stuff sometimes. He’s always willing to make the hard choice, especially if it puts Franklin in a coma.

This time, he yanks some wires out of the Fantasti-Car to zap Red Franklin and fuse his armor.

Red Franklin face plants, armor busted as planned. Franklin maybe dead.

Nanny chooses this moment to try to expeditiously retreat but Scary Susan rears her head.

If you’re not familiar, Scary Susan is the tendency of Sue’s modern personality to be “will fuck you up if you give her half a reason. Do it, jerk. Make her day.”

Some times it seems like she thinks of the most fucked up application of her power and just WAITS for a chance to use it. She needs an excuse. She’d be a monster if she did it for no reason.

Oh, the Spot trying to steal some of Reed’s technology. BAM FORCE BUBBLE IN HIS SINUS.

Yeah, Scary Susan.

Don’t cross her.

Nanny tries to escape, Sue catches the ship and holds it in place, and then the ship blows up from the strain. She contains all the wreckage and then dumps it into the nearby lake.

While Sue was maybe killing an egg and a child (they’re fiiiine), Reed was confirming that he didn’t actually accidentally(?) kill his son.

He can’t actually get the armor off here, though. Franklin was sealed into the armor and the armor is powered by Franklin.

Mr Fantastic: “Looks like Nanny didn’t expect to let him out again. And there’s technology here I’m unfamiliar with. A pity it died with its builder.”

Is it??

Like, science is neutral or whatever. But are you bemoaning the loss of child-powered robot suits?

Gilgamesh remembers he’s in this book so points out that the wreckage that fell into the lake wasn’t enough to be Nanny’s full ship. He guesses that the wreckage was a decoy that Nanny ejected so she could escape.

The Captain also remembers Gilgamesh is in the book now and asks hey who dis.

Gilgamesh reminds the Captain that they’ve fought together, during Eternals vol 2. But, hey, both of them were dressed differently and Gilgamesh didn’t have a name at the time.

For some reason, saying he didn’t have a name at the time doesn’t job the Captain’s memory. So Gilgamesh goes off on a whole speech.

The Captain: “Have you a name now?”

Gilgamesh: “I have had many. I woke when the world was new and slew dragons. Enkidu was my brother; Achilles my friend. I helped Aeneas set his standard upon the Palatine Hill... and strove beside David in the mountains of Judah.”

The Captain: “You’re the Nameless Eternal, the Forgotten One!”

Gilgamesh: “Indeed. It’s nice to be remembered.”

His response comes off as so wry.

Reed apparently listened as far as the first name drop and just decides this dude is Gilgamesh.

And that’s how Gilgamesh gets the name Gilgamesh. He was nameless up until this point, I just called him Gilgamesh for convenience.

Gilgamesh agrees that he was called Gilgamesh once so might as well go by that name now.

Now that Franklin is definitely saved forever, the Captain tells Gilgamesh that New York is swarming with demons and dammit he needs to put together a team, a team of Avengers! And Gilgamesh, monster hunter, would be great for that!

Now that Franklin is definitely saved forever, Mr Fantastic tells the Captain that as for himself and Sue, they’ve retired to devote more time to Franklin.

And while Reed is saying that, N’astirh kidnaps Franklin behind his back.

Just picks up the big red suit of power armor that Franklin is still stuck in and pulls him through a portal.

Plot is playing monkey in the middle with Franklin as the ball.

Reed tries to track the portal N’astirh used but since its demonic magical portal and not a SCIENCE portal, Reed’s at a loss.

The fantastic foursome of Mr Fantastic, Invisible Woman, the Captain, and Gilgamesh pile into the Fantasti-Car and fly around New York. Hoping that they’ll be able to detect Franklin’s unique energy signature.

Half-faded from existence Fred Kang though knows that Reed won’t be able to find Franklin with all the static being generated by Inferno. But his existence depends on them finding Franklin and reforming the Avengers! And Fred Kang is pretty sure he knows where N’astirh is hiding out.

So with his last seconds of existence, he activates an abandoned Growing Man.

Maybe this confirms that “Fred” Kang is actually the same main Kang that the Avengers tend to deal with over and over again. Since the Growing Man is presumably where the Avengers left it during issue #268: the Kang Dynasty.

With Kang, I find it best to just not sweat the specifics.

As the tiny Growing Man walks down the street, a demon actually spots him and decides to mess with him. And while the Growing Man starts off teeny-tiny and the demon is able to fling him around, he grows bigger and winds up hanging the demon over a lamppost like a wet towel.

With that done, the Growing Man follows the order that Kang apparently gave him to not be recognized by the Avengers. Uh, the whatever you call Cap’s group.

To accomplish not looking like a Growing Man when Growing Man he be, the Growing Man wades into some Inferno goo that’s just dripping off the Empire State Building.

It has mutagenic properties but eh Growing Man is a robot.

Now looking like a gross slime monster, the Growing Man walks off to find some Notvengers.

Over at wherever N’astirh set up shop, he plops armored Franklin in front of his demons and tells them to get to it.

For whatever reason, limbo demons are better at cutting Franklin free than Reed was. They didn’t even need specialized equipment.

Free of the armor, N’astirh jams him in some goo that will keep him asleep and siphon his power.

Geez. Franklin just keeps being used as a battery.

With Franklin’s power, N’astirh will be able to power up the portal bringing demons from Limbo. He’ll be able to move his entire army in an instant!

Ruh roh!

And rather than stick around and make sure this goes off without a hitch, N’astirh fucks off to another Inferno tie-in to sort out some business with S’ym.

Who is a Cerebus the Aardvark reference.

Anyway, the fantastic foursome of Cap and friends still haven’t been able to find Franklin’s energy.

Reed says he’ll search building by building if he has to but then there’s a big SKREEE-A-THOOM of thunder and the Captain asks Reed to detour.

It’s a friend from work.

(It’s Thor, doing what Thor does best. Beating up a pile of things and shit talking.)

Hey, remember how Thor disbanded the Avengers and took off with Black Knight to do Asgard stuff?

Black Knight is still with him!

He’s in a coma though.

I expect it’s serious.

Its kind of funny to me that Black Knight’s curse is so afflicting him that he’s become a prop.

No fooling.

Thor even tosses him into a vortex to keep him out of the way/safe while he joins Cap et al.

You could replace Black Knight with a bag full of fine porcelain.

Anyway, when they see that Thor is fighting demons, Gilgamesh gladly jumps in and starts punching. Thor doesn’t recognize Gilgamesh in his new armor or under his new name but is glad for the help.

(Side note: Thor and the Avengers apparently line up really well. He just returned to Earth in Thor #400 which came out the same month as Avengers #300.)

The Notvengers explain the situation to Thor off-panel and he agrees to join the team to help find Franklin.

And this is when he tosses Black Knight’s comatose body into a vortex for later.

Even with Thor, the Notvengers still have no idea where to look for Franklin and are thinking of splitting up to cover more ground. Mr Fantastic and Invisible Woman will keep looking for Franklin while Captain, Thor, and Gilgamesh will keep fighting demons.

The Growing Man doesn’t want them to split up for some reason. Sure, Kang needs A Team of Avengers or else the future is demons forever apparently. But also, I guess he wants it to be A Team of Avengers that also has one-half of the Fantastic Four in it.

So demon goo disguised Growing Man throws a car at them.

Demon goo disguised Growing Man taunts that they’ll all die and then Franklin will belong to demons forever and then runs off, baiting them to follow.

Invisible Woman thinks this is clearly bait for a trap but eh it might lead them to Franklin and they don’t have better ideas.

So they chase.

Goo’d Growing Man tries not to make it too obvious. He knocks down some buildings as he passes, forcing the Avengers to dodge debris or catch it.

The Notvengers get in the Fantasti-Car so they can follow without being at falling building level.

The goo man leads them to the World Trade Center which is where the demons made their base. Also, its just covered in goo and gross. He starts climbing.

The Notvengers fly or stretch up to the top of the building. And Reed’s Franklin-Detector detects a Franklin so they’re sure that the “demon” led them to the real Franklin.

The Growing Man goops into the building. Thor wants to smash into the building with Mjolnir but a bunch of actual demons have shown up, wondering who the fuck is intruding on their cool base.

They attack the Notvengers while loudly announcing everything like who they’re working for and that they’re guarding a kidnapped child.

I mean. Limbo demons aren’t the brightest. They’re dumb enough to follow Belasco, S’ym, N’astirh, Madylne. They’re just a real pack of idiots.

Anyway, action scene. The Notvengers beat up the demons.

A demon: “Look! It’s them was on the view screen! The Dark Childe’s parents! They should be dead! Kill them!”

KA-POW

Mr Fantastic: “Mister, you just said the magic words! There aren’t enough of you in all the world to keep me from my son now! And in the words of my best friend, ‘it’s clobberin’ time!!!’”

I’m always a little confused how Limbo managed to kill or corrupt the X-Men when they came to rescue Illyana in the original timeline of the Magik miniseries. The same Limbo demons when invading New York just get foddered by any superhero that fights them.

There’s an X spinoff book of a bunch of mutant kids beating up demons during Inferno.

That’s besides the point though.

The point is that the Notvengers are kicking demonic ass and making it look easy.

Gilgamesh comments that Avengers Assemble isn't a great battle cry (shut your dumb, eternal mouth) but concedes that the way the Captain says it makes it sound cool.

Because, remember, everything after Stern was fired was meant to lead up to Steve Rogers taking his place as the one, true leader of the Avengers.

Methinks Gilgamesh's comment be shilling.

Invisible Sue ignores everyone else fighting demons and just wanders into the demon nest to find Franklin stuck in demon goo with a star drawing his super Franklin energy out of his eyes.

Sue figures this is Probably Bad. She thinks its maybe connected to the big pentagram teleporting demons into the city. Either way, this nonsense gotta stop.

So she puts an invisible force field around Franklin to prevent the star from absorbing his energy. But the star is still drawing his energy, it just can't escape the bubble. So it builds up and builds up and then explodes.

Luckily, Franklin is immune to Franklin so is unscatched by a massive explosion. And it even frees him from the demon goo.

I don't know if Sue thought that through so its lucky that Franklin was immune to Franklin.

Anyway, when Franklin was freed of the demon suck, the pentagram above the city also blew up.

So this is probably what Fred Kang meant when he ranted that there'd be a forever demon future if there were no Avengers. Except other tie-ins, X books, gave other explanations for why the pentagram blew up. So probably the Notvengers accomplished nothing but saving a child. Which is pretty cool but other groups saved more children during this same event.

The demons present do freak out that the pentagram has been destroyed. N'astirh is gonna be peeved! Unless maybe they beat up the intruders??

Except these same intruders have been kicking their asses and continue kicking their asses.

I mean, we've got a god, someone who has been mistaken for several different gods, coolest man on Earth Steve Rogers, and also Mr Fantastic who is slingshotting the demons at Thor and Gilgamesh to beat up.

After everyone but Sue finishes beating up literally everyone, the demons emit pink smoke and then disintegrate.

Thor and the Captain tell Gilgamesh that he's pretty cool and asks him to stick around.

Gilgamesh: "Will there be more monsters?"

The Captain: "Mister, fighting monsters is what the Avengers does best!"

I dunno about best but they do fight a fair number of monsters.

Mr Fantastic asks Invisible Woman how Franlin is. She says he's asleep but seems fine. But insists that they get him home and having a doctor look over him is probably a good idea too.

I guess it looked like Mr Fantastic and Invisible Woman wouldn't be joining this new Avengers group the Captain is trying to put together because the Demon Goo Encrusted Growing Man pops up again to give them a common threat.

He shakes the World Trade Center tower, threatening to knock the whole thing down.

... Ah, things that are slightly awkward in hindsight.

And I just learned that one of Marvel's favorite ways to imply an alternate history is to show the World Trade Center still around.

I no longer think that demons infesting the building and a future robot trying to shake it down are that awkward in comparison.

Thor throws Mjolnir at what he thinks is another demon. But when getting bonked in the head by a speeding uru mallet makes the monster grow instead of fall down, Thor realizes that this gross goo dripping guy isn't a demon. It's Growing Man!

The Captain seems annoyed that Kang is somehow involved in this. Because, y'know, we're already dealing with a demonic invasion! Geez!

Mr Fantastic says that figuring out Kang's involvement is a problem for later. The problem for now is that this new proto-Avengers team is very heavy on the punching which is bad for facing a foe that absorbs kinetic energy.

So Mr Fantastic streeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetches all the way back to the Fantasti-Car.

He makes some adjustments to the front thrusters and FTZAPT!s the Growing Man and then BEEYOOOW!s him.

Even though Mr Fantastic asked the other heroes to not punch Growing Man until he figured out a way to deal with him, Thor and Gilgamesh get bored and jump off the World Trade Center to start punching a Growing Man.

Luckily, Mr Fantastic’s efforts have been successful.

Instead of getting bigger, Thor and Gilgamesh’s blows make the Growing Man into a Shrinking Man.

He did something something science science and maybe reversed the polarity of the neutron flow so now he works backwards.

Thor hits with all his might and the Shrinking Man shrinks down to the point he can’t be seen anymore.

Mission accomplished, I guess.

Franklin wakes up and says he dreamed of “lotsa monsters!”

Reed tells him it was all a long nightmare. So I hope that Franklin doesn’t look around at the state of the city right now.

Thor and Gilgamesh and the Captain’s short term memory must be short because they repeat some conversations from elsewhere in this issue.

Thor again wonders at such a strong warrior as Gilgamesh exists without Thor knowing about him. Despite Cap earlier telling Thor that he’s met Gilgamesh before.

Gilgamesh has completely forgotten ever meeting Thor.

And they’ve all forgotten when the Captain tried to recruit Gilgamesh for his new Avengers team.

Cap again asks if Gilgamesh will join. Gilgamesh again asks if there will be monsters to beat up. And Cap again says yes.

Gilgamesh: “It has been long since I was abroad in the world. I would like to see what mankind has made of itself. And I have little else to do right now.”

Pfft. ‘Sure, I’ve got nothing better to do.’

Mr Fantastic reports from the Fantasti-Car that the radio reports that Inferno has mostly petered out by now. There’s still some demon stuff going on but, eh, other people are handling that. Want to go to the Richards’ house for milk and cookies?

As the group flies over New York back to Connecticut, they have a conversation about how the Fantasti-Car has been nicknamed Pegasus because Reed and Sue have been reading Franklin Greek mythology lately.

Gilgamesh (who seemingly was overlooked by the colorist in this panel) comments that he remembers Pegasus. And then implies that he himself was Bellerophon who rode the Pegasus and slew the Chimera.

God, leave some famous people to actually be themselves! This is why nobody likes the Eternals, on a personal level!

The Captain comments that he can’t tell whether Gilgamesh is bullshitting him or not but intends to get to know him so he can figure it out.

Later, after returning to the Richards’ Connecticut home and putting Franklin to bed, the Captain gives the hard sell.

The Captain: “Reed, Sue, we haven’t really had a chance to talk much... but after tonight, I’m more convinced than ever that the Avengers are not only useful... but essential. They’re needed. That’s why I was coming to see you originally. You’ve got the team experience... and the leadership qualities. Will you join us?”

Reed says he thought that he and Sue had to step back from the superhero biz to spend more time with Franklin.

Now, the way its phrased here, he makes it more about protecting Franklin rather than just being a more present father. Which is a change from how it was presented in Fantastic Four.

But either way, the events of Inferno made Reed and Sue realize that you can’t just retire from superheroics and rely on being left alone. Two separate groups came after Franklin.

Supposedly very quietly (but I spot exclamation points) this new team of Avengers piles their hands over Franklin’s bed and announce that the Avengers are reborn!

The Worst Roster lives!

So let me comment first on this as a milestone issue.

The Avengers don’t have good milestone issues it seems.

Issue #100 tried to be a good milestone with an Every Avenger Ever story but the writing wasn’t prepared to handle that many characters so some of them just dropped out of the plot for a while. And the villain was Ares and the only reason he was a threat that required Every Avenger Ever was that he’d randomly found Black Knight’s extremely cursed sword.

Still, They Tried.

More than I can say about issue #150.

That one built up a shake-up of the team roster. But was basically a clip show and hit deadline problems or something and reprinted half of issue #16.

Issue #200. Well, it was issue #200. It didn’t celebrate team history as a 200th issue. Didn’t try to incorporate Every Avenger Ever. And it had Carol Danvers get magically pregnant and elope with her new baby boyfriend. It was baaaad.

Issue #250 was a double-size issue which had the first East and West Coast Avengers team-up. The villain, Maelstrom, wasn’t anything special. But he presented stakes that required both teams. I call this a good but not great milestone.

And now issue #300.

Well. It boasts a revolutionary new Avengers roster, featuring two mainstays and three new members. It doesn’t really celebrate Avengers history. Kang is around but is only tangentially connected to stuff. And the Avengers milestone is just another Inferno tie-in. It’s a decent tie-in, if we must tie-in. I can’t say that the story is as insulting and stupid as the undermining of Monica Rambeau or the Dr Druid ruins everything issues. But this is nothing special for an Avengers milestone, especially since this revolutionary new roster will not stand the test of time.

So let’s get into the Worst Roster.

This is the end of Simonson’s run. Around long enough to finish demolishing the team and setting up a new roster that will itself be demolished not long after this.

It’s kind of odd to set up a new team and then leave the book. But apparently it was because of that new team that he left the book.

APPARENTLY, Simonson had gotten permission to put Mr Fantastic and Invisible Woman on his new Avengers team. They were free agents at the time with the Thing leading the Fantastic Four. And Simonson likes the characters.

He got permission but it was revoked. Sales dropped on Fantastic Four so the higher ups ordered for Reed and Sue to go back to the Fantastic Four.

This pissed off Simonson, who just went to all the effort setting up this new team only to have two-fifths of it yanked away. So he quit. /APPARENTLY

So, we’ll never know how things would have played out if Simonson got to keep the team he wanted to write and stayed on the book.

I’ll comment how the Worst Roster worked under the writers that actually wrote it when I get there.

For now, I’ll share some thoughts about the new team as a concept.

I don’t hate Mr Fantastic and Invisible Woman joining the Avengers.

I’m a fan of mixing things up. Putting characters in new contexts. Beast on the Avengers was great. What is Beast away from X-stuff? A real fun guy! His BFF relationship with Wonder Man was unexpected but they were a great duo.

The second roster of Avengers was all about this. What are Hawkeye, Scarlet Witch, and Quicksilver away from their supervillain bad influences? They’re heroes is what!

I actually think Cyclops should join the Avengers! He deserves a little time away from X-stuff too.

And the Avengers and Fantastic Four have pretty close ties around this time. They’ve both housed the other team when they were having headquarter problems. Jarvis babysat Franklin for a while. There’s links there. And with Ben running the Fantastic Four, why not put Reed and Sue in a different context.

I’ve heard criticisms that say a leader type like Reed would rankle under the command of someone else.

But there’s two different ways that could go. Cap cited Reed’s leadership qualities. He may have wanted Reed to lead this new team. Only for Reed to turn this down because if he wanted to lead a team, he’d go back to the Fantastic Four. Uh, like he does do.

Alternatively, gosh, friction over who should lead the team happens so much in Avengers. It’s one of their recurring character beats. During Cap’s quirky quartet, both Hawkeye and Quicksilver argued that they should be in charge instead.

During Shooter’s run, there was friction between Captain America and Thor over how Thor was leading.

Hercules being a sexist dick about Wasp being in charge during Avengers Under Siege.

Hell, even recently you had Dr Druid standing slightly behind Monica muttering how if he ran the zoo.

Friction over who should be in charge is an Avengers tradition! Unlike X-Men or Fantastic Four, there’s not an assumption over who should be in charge. There was a revolving leadership during the first roster and votes for chairman during later rosters!

A power struggle between Steve and Reed! And look how the roster is set up! Thor would back Steve. Sue would back Reed. Would Gilgamesh be a tie-breaker? He’s leaning Steve, currently!

As I said. We can’t know how it’d play out. But Reed preferring to be in charge is a feature, not a bug.

The team doesn’t have to be a perfect, happy family right off the bat. It just needs to have interesting character dynamics.

I’ve mostly talked about Reed here. I have no problem with Invisible Woman being on the team either. She has interesting powers, is legitimately strong enough that she’s not automatically overshadowed by having Thor and Gilgamesh standing nearby, she sometimes has a personality. If this roster lasted, I’d be excited to see how she interacts with the non-Reeds. New contexts!

I’m mostly annoyed that its only Sue. Are we still doing the thing where we’re only allowed one woman per team?

We know Cap and Thor. They’re both very Avengers. No complaints. So what about Gilgamesh.

Gilgamesh. Is the weak link in the Worst Roster. I’ll defend the idea to have half the Fantastic Four on the team. But Gilgamesh is a boring option. Not bad, just boring.

That might be why Simonson wanted to put him on the team. He’s been used so infrequently that he’s a bit of a blank slate. And Simonson has written him before.

Gilgamesh claiming that any given myth or legend was actually him could be fun, mostly if he’s just lying about some of it.

But having another strong godly dude next to Thor isn’t the most inspired choice.

I think there’s a reason why Sersi becomes the go-to Eternal for Avengers stuff. She’s fun and has interesting powers. From what I hear, when she is an Avenger she’s used in the most boring way possible (love triangles) but still.

So to teal deer. If this Worst Roster wasn’t infamous for getting almost immediately abandoned. I would be excited to see how it plays out.

That’s the real reason why its the Worst Roster. Not who was part of it. Because Marvel didn’t even have the guts to stand by it.

And also because Reed and Sue quit so quickly we never even got to find out if they’d keep wearing their FF jumpsuits with the 4 on them. Would they have taken a sharpie and extended the 4 to an A? Would they have gotten individualized costumes just for this?

We’ll never know!

Curse you, Marvel! Curse you!

Follow @essential-avengers because I’m willing to give dumb ideas a chance. This is often a character flaw. Reward me for it with likes, reblogs, and comments.