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novaiya · 4 years ago

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Imagine Arthur/Sean/Charles communicating with a non-English speaking immigrant reader.

Based on this request: can you write imagines for Arthur, Sean and Charles with a non-English speaking immigrant reader? If not that’s totally okay!! (Imagining the interactions that happen between them and the reader as they try to communicate would be funny ^^)

A/N: This was very fun to write, because at some point, I too was a non-english speaking immigrant. Language barrier sucks, but when you have people like Arthur, Charles or Sean, it sucks a little less lol I’m gonna be honest, as much fun as I had wiring this, I struggled a bit, especially with Arthur. If you look at Arthur’s interaction with people who don’t speak English… It seems like he has little to no patience with them lmfao

It was your third week with this group of people. It might’ve been fourth or maybe even fifth, but you couldn’t tell. All the days have blended into a one, long nightmare.

You have come to this country, the new world, in search of a better life, and instead, turned out worse than where you came from.

Thankfully, a group of people have picked you up, given you food and shelter and only asked for a small contribution in the form of basic housekeeping (more like camp keeping) in return. But even that was proving to be complicated, for you didn’t speak the language that the people did. You knew a few words before coming to America, basics like “Hello”, “Thank you”, “My name is…”, but nothing more. You were planning to continue your studies once you’ve arrived, but it seems like you'll have learn on the go. You were picking up some stuff here and there from the listening to camp members talk. You would attentively listen to the leader, Dutch was his name, and try to memorize the words he spoke. Plan, faith, and money would be common words in most of his speeches, and you’ve already learned their meanings.

Arthur.

You were taking a break, sitting on the edge of the camp and sketching on a piece of paper. You enjoyed drawing. It was a relaxing hobby, and it would remind you of your childhood, back when things were simpler.

“Hey there,” you heard from behind you. You turned around, seeing Arthur.

“Hello,” you said, your accent evident even in such a simple word.

“What you doing there,” he said as he took a seat next to you, looking at the scrap of paper in your hand.

You took a second to process what he just said. You heard the word “what”, and thought that maybe he was asking what you were doing. You didn’t know how to say you were drawing in english, so you simply showed him the sketch you were working on, pointing at it with your pencil.

“Ah,” Arthur exclaimed, understanding you. “You’re drawing.”

You tilted your head, not understanding what he’s saying.

“Drawing,” he repeated. He used his hand to pretend like he’s drawing. “You,” he said pointing at you, “draw.”

“Draw,” you repeated, looking at his hands then at a scrap of paper on your own. “I am drawing.”

“There you go.”

You smiled when you understood. Even a single word was a victory for you. The sooner you knew the language, the sooner you could get back on your feet.

“I draw too sometimes,” he said.

You turned to look at him.

He shuffled a bit, reaching into his satchel and pulling out a notebook. He skimmed through a few pages before showing you one of them. There, you saw a drawing of a horse. Your own sketch, in comparison to his, looked like chicken scratches.

“You draw very good,” you said.

A small smiled tugged at Arthur’s lips and he said, “thank you”

You nodded your head with a smile on your lips mirroring his. It was nice to have conversations. Due to the language barrier between you and the rest of the camp members, it was hard to make any significant connections. Most of your conversations only went as far as “thank you” or “good morning”. Arthur, however, has been one of the only people trying to bridge the gap between you and the rest of the gang. He would often start talking to you as if the language wasn’t a problem, and if you didn’t understand something, he would try to explain with simpler terms, using his hands or pointing at things, like he did just now when explaining drawing to you.

“I know a place not far from here,” Arthur spoke up, pulling you out of your thoughts, “Lot’s of animals roam there; horses, deers. I can take you there and you can draw them. If you want to, that is.”

You took a moment to understand what he meant. You basically understood every word he said, but was having a hard time of putting them together to understand the meaning behind them.

“You and I go draw together?” you said.

Arthur chuckled a bit. It was not exactly what he meant, but it was close enough. Maybe he could use that opportunity to get to know you better, as much as the language barrier would allow.

“Sure, we can do that too.”

Charles

You were walking along the outskirts of the camp, taking a break from your chores to enjoy the nature around you. You could hear the birds sing from every tree, and as you went further into the forest, squirrels and rabbits would run around, not paying any attention to you.

When a bunny stopped almost in front of you, you smiled. You squatted down, almost eye level with the creature.

“I think he likes you,” you heard from behind you.

You turned around, seeing Charles approaching you. You smiled at him, before turning back to the bunny, who was still unfazed by your or Charle’s presence.

Charles crouched right next to you, studying the peculiar bunny like you did. He extended his hand, letting the bunny sniff it. You decided to try too, and let out a small laugh when bunny sniffed your hand as well, looking at you and then at Charles.

“He is very nice,” you said with a smile.

Charles nodded. “They can feel your intentions. He probably knows you’re not going to harm him.”

You nodded. You didn’t understand a word he said, but you still made a face as if you did. You wondered what the english word for bunny was.

“What is his name?” you said looking at Charles.

He smiled at your question. Since you’ve joined the gang, Charles admired your strength and work ethic. Even without knowing the language and barely being able to communicate with the rest of the people, you were a productive member of the camp, and have been working hard on learning the language.

He was one the first people that you talked to, and since then you would often go to him when you needed help understanding something. He was very approachable and always patient when it came to your language barrier.

“Bunny,” he replied.

“Bunny.” Your face was so serious when you tried to pronounce the word, Charles laughed a little bit.

“You got it,” he said. “Just gotta practice and it’ll sound perfect.”

“Thank you.”

Somehow, you ended up spending almost half an hour with Charles, studying all the different animals around, learning their names and a few other English words.

“Thank you very much, Charles,” you said when you finally made it back to camp.

“It’s no problem,” he said. “If you ever wanna learn anything else, you just let me know.” He winked at you before going to his tent.

You didn’t understand a word he said, but didn’t need to. That wink said all you needed to know.

Sean

It was nighttime, and most of the camp members were either getting ready for bed or gathering around the campfire, swapping stories and drinks. Due to the language barrier, you usually skipped those events; you couldn’t understand a single word they were saying and it made you feel out of place. Instead, you preferred to spend your evenings at a small table a little way from the campfire with a children’s book in your hand. You got the book from Abigail, who in turn got it from Hosea for Jack. She would lend it to you at the end of the day, after Jack has finished his lessons with Hosea, so you could learn too.

“What you doin’ here all alone?” you heard a voice say behind you.

You turned around, seeing Sean approaching you.

“Reading,” you said, showing him the book in your hand.

“Oh, that,” he said, taking a seat next to you. “I never understood the appeal of readin’. It’s ploddin’.”

“Plod-ding?” you repeated, tilting your head to the side.

“Well, you know, slow. I prefer to use my time in other ways, stealin’ or robbin’ for example.” Even though his voice sounded uplifting, you could see a hint of sadness in it. The smile that he was trying to put on didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“You don’t read?” you said.

Sean took a moment before answering your question, shifting a bit in his chair.

“No, not really,” he said. “Me pa never taught me, and after he died I didn’t really have the time.”

You nodded your head, understanding what he said.

Sean wouldn't let anyone know it, but he was really insecure about his literacy. It’s not often that he needed to read something, but when he did, he was embarrassed that he couldn’t. So instead, he decided to own it, act like he didn’t care and that it was his decision not to learn. Lenny had been trying to teach him for a while then, but it didn’t go anywhere. Everytime Sean would get stuck on a word, or his progress would stagnate, he would get irritated and give up.

“Do you want learn?” you said.

Your words pulled him out of his thoughts. “You mean, learn to read?”

“Yes,” you said. “I read everyday. This kids book. We can read together.”

Sean’s immediate thought was to decline. He’d tried and failed so many times, at this point he didn’t believe he would ever be able to learn. But, something about seeing you, a person who barely spoke a word of English, a stranger in a strange land, trying your hardest despite everything, inspired him. What’s stopping him from doing the same?

“You know what,” he said. “I think that’s a great idea. Let’s meet here tomorrow mornin’. Maybe ol’ Lenny will join us too.”

#arthur morgan x reader #charles smith x reader #sean macguire x reader #rdr2 fanfic #rdr2 x reader #arthur morgan x y/n #charles smith x y/n #sean macguire x y/n #rdr2 fanfiction #red dead redemption fanfiction #red dead redemption 2 fanfiction #red dead redemption 2 fanfic #rdr2 fanfics

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eclectic-soulss · 4 years ago

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Manifesting with a letter from your higher self.

I recently came across a youtube video in which the person suggested to write a letter to your highest self telling them what you want and asking them to bring it into fruition. And I loved that idea, but something did't feel quite right to me...

I am one to believe that whatever I want, if I can think of it and imagine it, it is already real. It already exists and it is already mine. All I have to do is "align" myself to it.

So, writing a letter asking for something to my highest self, would mean that I believe that it isn't mine already, that it is something I have to get or to create from zero, which of course isn't the case.

So, after thinking about it, I had an idea: to reverse it. Meaning that I would write a letter from my higher self to the "current" me, telling it how amazing our life was "now" that we have all that we've ever wanted.

That way I could trick my subconscious into believing that what I wanted was already mine and that it had already happened. That I was simply telling my story to someone.

So, I did. I wrote that letter, and it has been one of the most powerful techniques i've ever tried.

Okay, but. How exactly did I do it? (I'm gonna make a list with all the steps that I followed and then explain each one as I go)

Decide: Decide what you want and create a clear description, feeling and image of it.

For example, if I wanted to travel to a specific location for the holidays. I would write down (or think to myself) something like "I want to travel to Greece with my family to have a fun and exciting experience learning about greek culture"

Imagine: Imagine you already have that what you want and picture how you would feel by having it.

Imagine yourself in the situation of already having what you want. That version fo you, how do they feel? what is different about them? How do they talk, dress, walk? Who is with them? What are they doing?...In this step I used visualisation, but you can use whatever works for you.

Embody: Embody that version of you. Become for a moment that version of you that already has what it wants. Make it feel real. This is your highest self and it already has everything that the "current you" could ever imagine.

This could be the most difficult step for some people. But in reality it is not complicated at all. If you took your time to do the previous steps, then you already must be pretty far into that embodiment state.

In this step I used affirmations, as I went over my visualisation for a second time. To keep up with the holidays example:

I would say stuff like "I am in greece" "I am having so much fun here in greece" "I feel so content to be here with my family" "I love how all the locals are so nice" "This holiday is amazing, being here is amazing", etc.

Write: Write a letter to the version of you that "doesn't have" what it wants, yet.

Let that version of you know how you feel, how your life looks like, what type of stuff you´re doing. This step shouldn't be hard, as you already know all that from the previous steps. Make it as personal and as uplifting as you can, This is something that the other version of you will read at some point, so you want to make sure that it is positive and hopeful. Let them know that, what it's being described in the letter is already theirs, It already happen, they just have to trust it will catch up to them.

In this star you could make use of other witchy things, like herbs, crystals, incense, etc. I personally used colour correspondances for the ink.

Remain: Remain in that state of being the version of you that already has what it wants for as long as you can.

Being 5 minutes, 15 minutes, all day long. However long it lasts it's more than okay. While you are in that state put the letter in a place where you know the other version of you will see it. You could even write on top of it some instrucions as to when you want them to read the letter. For example, When i wrote mine I put "Read when you feel discouraged or begin to have doubts"

Trust and let go: Trust that the other version of you will trust their higher self (you in this state). Let go of the state and slowly come back to your physical reality.

That's it. I know it sounds like a lot, but I promise once you do it, you realise how not-so-difficult and natural it is.

This technique worked wonders for me, because I am huge on the subconscious mind and this technique instantly triggered something in it.

If you try it please let me know how it goes for you, I would love to know.

Eclectic Souls

#AstralSouls

#ConsciousSouls

#Eclectic Souls original content #AstralSouls #ConsciusSouls #Manifestation techniques #Law of assumption #Law of attraction #Witchcraft #Occultism

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thrillridesz · 4 years ago

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the story of us ▫ eric

➳ pairing: ex husband and father!eric x fem!reader ➳ genre: angst, slight fluff ➳ word count: 3.8k ➳ requested?: yes

a/n: this is written as a part two to this timestamp!

Eric peered nervously at his watch, frowning as he watched the time tick by the second.

Just where were you? It was already nearing eight and the two of you were supposed to meet at seven in the restaurant. The dinner plans had been made over a week ago when he finally mustered up the courage to ask you out for a meal. Moreover, the restaurant he had picked required a special reservation given how popular it was and frankly, Eric was starting to feel more and more uncomfortable by the minute in a fancy restaurant like this one.

People were starting to cast sympathetic glances in his directions, murmuring amongst themselves about the man sitting alone at the table, no doubt making their own speculations about him as the lonely guy stood up by his date. Eric felt his shoulders sag and disappointment seep in. Were they going to be right about their speculations after all?

Trying to ignore the sinking feeling in his heart, he whipped out his phone and texted Sangyeon.

i don’t think she’s coming. this is a mistake.

The response was almost immediate.

wait, she’s not there yet??

that’s kinda messed up, she stood you up?

i don’t know, i think so

There was a pause while Eric awaited Sangyeon’s response, downing a glass of wine in an attempt to hide his sadness.

man, i’m rly sorry to hear that :/ do you wanna just come over and hang? there’s a crazy match going on today, we can get some beer too

Staring despondently at his phone, Eric bit his lip anxiously, feeling a lump starting to form in his throat. Were you really standing him up? He briefly recalled your reaction when he had asked you out for dinner over the phone after he had coaxed his daughter to sleep that day. He had been a ball of nerves and if it wasn’t for Sangyeon’s encouragement, he would never have had even thought about asking you out.

“I don’t know if I can do this. What if she says no?”

“Then you take it like a man. Either way, you have nothing to lose if you try and everything to lose if you don’t.” Sangyeon replied and Eric could hear the audible sigh in his voice.

As he paced the empty living room, he said, “I mean... You have a point but this is y/n we’re talking about. My ex wife. You don’t just call up your ex wife for dinner.”

“You don’t?” came the reply as a distant crash sounded from the other end of the line followed by a screech so sharp that made Eric wince in pain.

“No, stop that! Taeil, give your sister back her doll right now! Sorry, give me a moment.”

“Wait-”

Sangyeon didn’t even wait for his response before leaving the phone call on hold and Eric could only glare at his cellphone in irritation. Shaking his head, he sunk into the couch and rubbed at his temples. All of this on top of work was giving him a mighty headache. As he pressed his fingers to the side of his head and rubbed, he suddenly remembered how you would always give him a back massage after a long day at work back when the both of you were still a married couple. Gingerly placing a hand on his shoulder, Eric longed so badly to feel your hands on him that his heart hurt. How did things go so wrong?

Looking up, a small picture frame next to the television caught his eye. It was a picture that the two of you had taken on the day he proposed to you years ago. The happiness in your eyes was unmistakable as you held up your hand pridefully, the ring shining brightly on your finger. His arm was looped around your waist as the two of you leaned in for the picture, the love the two of you had for each other obvious even in a still image. It had been ages since he had been able to hold you like that or even seen you smile that radiantly around him. There was absolutely nothing he wouldn’t give to see it again.

“Hello? Eric?”

Bringing the phone to his ear, Eric tried to keep the sadness out of his voice.

“Yeah?”

“Sorry, it’s the kids again. They were fighting, tearing the house apart literally. Anyways, you’re going to call her right? Y/n?”

He glanced wistfully at the picture before answering, “I don’t know.”

“You’re still hesitating?” Sangyeon groaned.

“I-” Eric opened his mouth to retort, only to get interrupted by yet another piercing scream from the other end of the call. He could hear soft mutterings of profanities as he stood waiting for the scream to die down.

When it did, he cleared his throat.

“That’s not very nice, Sangyeon. You know, swearing.”

If it wasn’t possible to feel someone rolling their eyes on the call, he certainly felt it from Sangyeon.

“If you had children like Taeil and Jisoo, you’d love them to death but also wish they could stop their shenanigans for once,” he replied before adding, “I have to go for real now anyways.”

“Alright.” Eric laughed.

“Call her! Tell me how it went at work tomorrow!” Sangyeon ordered before ending the call, leaving him staring at the phone in the silence of his home.

“Should I?” He thought as his thumb subconsciously scrolled down his list of contacts and hovered over your name. Looking at the time, it was already midnight. Maybe you were already asleep. What if he disturbed you? What if you were in the middle of a shower and couldn’t answer the phone? He would look like an idiot. Tossing the phone aside absentmindedly, Eric looked up at the ceiling and closed his eyes. It might be for the best if he didn’t call you or ask you out. It’s probably what you preferred.

“Hello? Eric?”

He sprang up from the couch in shock. Was that a ghost? Was he hallucinating or was that your voice calling him? The colour drained from his face as he realised to his sheer horror that he had accidentally tapped on the call button earlier and the call had gone through.

Immediately when the ball dropped, Eric made a beeline for the phone and before he knew it, he was falling forward. As he landed on the floor with loud thud, he mentally cursed himself for being clumsy when you asked, “Is everything ok? I heard a loud noise.”

Fumbling for the phone, he gasped out, “Yes! Everything is great, I’m really sorry!”

“Um, ok. I just thought I heard a really loud noise. Why did you call anyways? Is there something the little one left behind?”

Eric bit the inside of his cheeks as he thought hard for an appropriate response. What is he going to say? Yes and make up a lie about something stupid? Or...

“Ask her out?” He whispered under his breath.

“What was that?”

Eric almost wanted to slap himself for saying his thoughts out loud and he frantically backtracked, “Nothing! I was just wondering...” He trailed off as the picture caught his eye again.

This could be his chance to salvage everything and shoot his shot for another opportunity to get back the life he had left behind. Briefly recalling what Sangyeon had said, his grip on the phone tightened as he debated.

Either way, you have nothing to lose if you try and everything to lose if you don’t.

“Will you go out with me for dinner?”

When the question escaped from his lips, it was too late to take them back. He heard your breath hitch from the other end and a chill ran down his spine. There was a moment of silence and waiting for your reply had been the most nerve wracking couples of seconds of his life.

“Why?” Your voice was soft and there was a hint of caution in them.

Flustered, Eric fumbled to find the right words to reply. He had expected outright rejection and that single word had thrown him off completely. Deep down, he felt a spark of hope began to bloom. You didn’t give him a straight answer but at least it wasn’t a no although it wasn’t exactly a yes either.

“I... Um... I just thought... Um... Maybe we could just c-catch up on some stuff?” He asked as he screwed his eyes shut, anticipating your answer.

“...Sure.”

Eric almost hurled his phone across the room.

Shut up.

Was he dreaming right now? Did you really just say yes? Pinching himself for good measure, the stinging pain did little to dull his uplifted mood. This isn’t a dream after all. He was suddenly filled with such joy, he thought he could explode.

“I-I... That’s awesome! How does friday night next week sound?”

He could hear the smile in your voice that he had grown to love over the years.

“Friday night sounds lovely.”

Come to think of it, were you hesitating?

“Did she only say yes because she was too afraid to say no?” He thought to himself, eyes widening in horror.

“Hey! I’m so sorry, I’m late.”

At the sound of your voice, he looked up and felt a shiver run down his spine. You had always been beautiful to him but today, you looked simply stunning and for a moment, he just stared without moving the slightest bit. You were wearing a gorgeous blue dress that fell gracefully to your knees and although your hair was slightly messy and unkempt, it only accentuated your beauty as wisps of hair framed your face.

Taking a seat across from him, you barely even noticed his blatant gaping as you settled yourself down.

“I’m so sorry for being almost an hour late. The babysitter was late and the traffic was just insane out there, I hope you’re not mad at me.” You said, laughing softly in embarrassment. “Eric?”

Blinking, he snapped out of his daze and his cheeks turned pink.

“Oh! It’s no worries, I completely understand.” A wide grin tugged at his lips as straightened his tie, suddenly conscious of how he looked in front of you. The patrons had stopped whispering and had gone back to their meals, the sheepish expression on some of their faces plain as day.

As Eric placed his hands on the table, he accidentally knocked over his glass of wine, sending the glass crashing to the ground. Shards of glass skidded across the marble floor as the ruby red wine formed a small puddle. The splintering sounds of glass against the hard floor turned heads and for a moment, everyone stared at the two of you. Some wore disapproving frowns while others simply looked away hastily as a waiter rushed forward to assist.

“I’m really sorry! I didn’t mean to,” Eric exclaimed anxiously, internally wishing he could dig up a hole and hide in it. Barely one minute into dinner, he wad already making a fool of himself in front of you and in a fancy restaurant no less.

The waiter only smiled at him good naturedly before waving away his apologies.

“It’s perfectly alright, sir! This is no problem at all! I’ll go get a mop and a broom.”

Nodding weakly, Eric sat back in his seat with his face downcast. He couldn’t possibly look at you straight in the eye after that blunder he made. An unexpected, soft chuckle made him peek up at you shyly.

“That waiter definitely did not look happy.”

“He didn’t?”

You raised an eyebrow at him quizzically before leaning forward and he briefly caught a whiff of your intoxicating perfume. Roses and jasmines, sweet and subtle just like you.

“Look over there.” You whispered, pointing to a far corner of the restaurant and he turned.

From afar, the disgruntled look on the waiter’s face was vague but it was nothing either of you could miss. Bending over to whisper something in his colleague’s ear, they both peered over in your table’s direction. Quickly, the both of you turned away, pretending not to see.

“Man, I guess it’s not alright after all.” Eric rolled his eyes and you nodded, taking a small sip of water.

“When you work in the service industry for some time, you’ll notice these stuff eventually.” You replied, smiling kindly at him.

“Right.” He cleared his throat awkwardly, remembering that you worked as an operations manager for a cafe downtown. There was a moment of silence before he asked, “How’s work?”

“Oh, just...” You waved your hands, “We’re revamping the menu and business is going smoothly. Honestly, there’s nothing much. You?”

“Um... Nothing much either, I suppose. Some financial reports for the year are rolling in and my clients are-” Eric trailed off. What is he doing, rambling off like that? No, no. He had to backtrack. Talking about work is a bad idea especially since it was the reason why the two of you had separated in the first place.

“My day was great,” he clasped his hand together on the table before he continued, “It’s nothing much to talk about. I’d rather we just talk about other things besides work.”

For a moment, he thought he saw a look of confusion and surprise flash across your face before you replied, “Oh, alright. I thought you used to have a lot of new work stories every day?”

“Ah no... I don’t. Today, I want to just catch up with you.”

You regarded him skeptically for a moment before you shrugged.

“Sure, I’m up for that. Do you want to order some food first?”

“I... Okay.” Deflating a little, he pored over the menu. Basic french words were already difficult to understand but throw in some culinary terminologies, Eric was completely lost. Everything was like hieroglyphics to him as he surveyed the menu blankly.

“Do you know what you’re going to get?” You asked him, without looking up.

Eric stared hard at the menu, so hard until the words were starting to blur together. There had to be something he understood from this menu. Internally, he began to regret choosing this restaurant but then he remembered that you loved french cuisine.

“It’s worth it if she’s satisfied,” he thought firmly to himself as he flipped over the page. Just how thick was this menu? This could be a library book. By the time the waiter stopped by the table, he still hadn’t made up his mind.

“May I take your orders?”

“Yes, please. I’ll have the soupe à l’oignon,” you replied as you handed the menu back to the waiter. “Have you decided on what you want, Eric?”

“Um...” He hesitated for a moment before pointing at something random on the menu. “I’ll have this.”

The waiter bowed as he left with their orders and you asked, “What did you order?”

Eric felt his face heat up as he stayed quiet. He couldn’t just tell you that he randomly chose, how pathetic would that be? You would see him as a try hard for picking an upscale restaurant with menus in a language he didn’t understand a word of.

“i just got clams.” He smiled, taking a hasty sip of water.

“Clams. I didn’t know you liked clams,” You said, looking at him curiously.

“I thought I’d try something new I guess,” he laughed, fists clenched at his sides. “Anyways, how are things with you lately?”

You sighed and Eric had to resist the urge to reach out and hold your hands in his like he always did whenever you were visibly stressed out. So near, yet so far.

“Oh, things have been alright lately. It’s just that the restaurant is getting busier these days and our daughter is having a school recital soon. Her teacher wanted me to go buy her a dress for it but I haven’t got the time lately.”

“Recital? What recital?”

“The one happening in September? Did she tell you about it?” You asked, looking at him wide-eyed in surprise.

“I guess she didn't,” Eric said softly, feeling his stomach churn uneasily. He should have known. Although these days his relationship with his daughter is improving, there are definitely still some things she wouldn’t tell him. He didn’t blame her though, since he had been absent for a large part of her childhood. If only he was so career oriented then.

Your expression softened as you reassured him, “Maybe she forgot. Don’t ponder about it.” He nodded weakly at your words, forcing a faint smile as he gripped on tightly to the tablecloth. You leaving him had been one of the hardest things he ever had to go through but couple that with a lack of a familial relationship with his own flesh and blood? If time travel was possible, he would have went back and given his past self a good beating.

He was so preoccupied with his thoughts that he almost didn’t notice that you had your hands on his. Slowly, his gaze drifted down but before he could hold you, you quickly withdrew your hands. Pushing your hair away from your face, you avoided making eye contact.

“Y/n-”

“I was just trying to reassure you and make you feel better.”

It would be a lie if Eric was to say he didn't feel disappointed. The spark of hope in his heart dimmed slightly as he reared back like a wounded child. He tried fervently to ignore the sinking feeling in him as he looked at you. When you turned away, it felt like needles stabbing in his heart.

“I-”

“Soupe à l’oignon?” The waiter placed a steaming bowl of creamy soup on the table.

“That’s mine.” You gestured, a grateful look on your face.

When the waiter left, Eric sniffed curiously before pointing out, “Is that onion?”

“Yeah, it is.”

“I thought you hated onions. You said once that you’d rather eat crickets than onions.”

“I guess I just started liking them,” you shrugged as you dipped your spoon into the soup.

Why is he feeling so upset over this?There was a lump in his throat as he croaked out, “When?”

Hearing the tremble in his voice, you snapped your head up to look at him. Seeing the hurt look in those dark eyes of his, you felt your heart fall with a messy splat. You didn’t know why he was feeling that way and you would have tried to coax yourself into thinking that you don’t care but your heart couldn’t help it. If you were being completely honest with yourself, you still cared for him as much as you hated to admit it.

“Eric, are you ok?”

“I... I’m fine. It’s just that...” Millisecond by millisecond, he could feel his restrain crack. He could feel the formidable guard he had built around own emotions starting to shatter.

“I guess you’re just different from how I remembered. I feel like I don’t know you anymore and that hurts me.” Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Stop talking. “I feel like I’m now a stranger to you and...” He felt his lower lip tremble and tears pricking at the corner of his eyes.

“And what, Eric?”

He could practically feel his restrain break free as he blurted out, “And I feel like we’re not lovers anymore! I mean, to be fair we’re not... not married anymore but fuck. I still love you. I still love you with all my heart and seeing you and talking to you without being able to hold you or express my feelings... That kills me inside every time. I used to love the fact that we both know each other inside out but it feels like the longer we are apart, the closer I am to losing that. I never meant for the story of us to end this way and I know it was all my fault. I was the one who fucked up. I single handedly ruined the family we had but I’m begging you to give me another chance. Please, y/n. I need this, I need you. Will you give me a chance?”

Everything came out in a rush and by the time he ended his sentence, a single tear was rolling down his cheek. You stared quietly at your bowl of soup, not looking at him and not uttering even a single word. If his heart was broken enough, it certainly was now.

Taking a deep breath, Eric choked out, “I-It’s fine. I understand if you don’t love me back anymore. If you want to leave, you can. I’ll pay for-”

“Okay.”

He almost fell out of the chair as he peered at you, alarm written all over his face.

“What?”

You stared him straight in the eye as you mumbled, “I said okay. I’ll give you a chance.”

Did God finally decide to have mercy on him? Are the stars aligning in his favour? Eric couldn’t believe his ears and he had to smack himself to make sure this wasn't a dream. The loud slap rang through the restaurant and several patrons turned to your table as you gasped in shock.

“What are you doing?!”

Feeling the stinging pain on his reddened cheek, he replied dumbly, “Making sure this isn’t a dream.”

You couldn’t fight the giggle that gurgled up within you as you held his arm, “It’s not a dream. Don’t hurt yourself, Eric.”

This is actually happening. To think if he had chickened out, he would never have had this opportunity. He should definitely treat Sangyeon to a meal tomorrow.

“I... I just can’t believe it. You have no idea how overjoyed I am right now.” His bright grin stretched from ear to ear and you felt yourself almost melt. Maybe you do still have some feelings for him.

As he reached out to hold your hand, you leaned away causing him to look at in a rather bewildered way.

“If we’re going to do this, we’re starting over.”

The tension in him dissipated quickly as he hurriedly stuffed his hands in his pockets.

“Alright then. That is completely fine by me! I never want to make you feel uncomfortable.” He grinned, a sparkle in his eyes. “What do you mean by starting over though?”

You pondered over his question for a moment before holding out a hand, which he simply stared at before looking at you with a questioning look.

“Nice to meet you, I’m y/n.” Realisation dawned upon him as he chuckled.

“Wow, you really do mean start over,” he said before reaching over and shaking your hand. “I’m Eric. Eric Sohn.”

“Rouille de seiche?” The waiter placed a hot platter of what looked like cuttlefish in tomato sauce in front of him.

He gazed at his plate for a moment before he turned back to you. You could barely contain your laughter.

“That doesn’t look like clams to me.”

“Well, I didn’t understand the menu so I just randomly chose. If there’s one thing you need to know about me, it’s the fact that I’m not a huge fan of cuttlefish but I didn’t know that when I ordered,” he smiled at you.

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malereader-inserts · 5 years ago

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Shoot Your Load (I-I Mean Shot!)

Fandom: Avengers Pairing: Peter Parker x Male!Reader Summary: When you think about your soulmate, you think of a handsome man of your age, perhaps polar opposite to you or like you. But, not fucking spiderman Word Count: 1,475 Request: @will-grammer “Can I ask for Peter Parker and stranger male reader? They both bare marks that indicate they are soulmates but they've never met. They haven't really thought of seeking each other out due to stressful life obligations like Peter being Spiderman but reader is drowning himself in his studies/job hoping to make enough money to go out and search for Peter one day - but they actually meet when reader witnesses a purse-snatching incident and tries to help, running into Peter who's in his spider suit?” A/n: okay, but why is my Grammarly not working for me anymore, I hate this godforsaken site with their new update.

It's not that you don’t want to meet the love of your life, the happiness within the horrible world, a companion, your soulmate - if you will. It’s just, you don’t have the time or money to look for them. Plus, you’re busy with your part time job and your work load for uni, it’s practically impossible for you to venture out as if it was some Disney movie. You have a life that you’ve been restricted to, and you’re only nineteen, you’ve got so much life ahead of you.

But, you don’t mind if you were to randomly bump into this person you were destined to be with.

Peter, your other half, was in the same boat. He has too much responsibility to look for you. What was that quote that his uncle Ben told me? Never mind, despite the Avengers telling him to go look for you, he doesn’t feel like there was a need. He’s a hero, whether it was fighting big aliens or just being the friendly neighbourhood Spiderman, he already has stuff on his plate and it’s piling up. Of course, just like you, it’s a university student - whilst he loves to make the joke that he’s a web designer, chemistry is where it was at. With that in mind, he helps Mr Stark with his work too.

Peter would love to meet you, don’t get him wrong, he’s been caught wondering what this fateful person would be. He imagined how he’d meet you, he imagined how he was going to tell you that he’s Spiderman, and yet, he doesn’t think he needs to meet you. Fate is fate, if fate wants you to meet, she’ll let you.

So, Peter goes on with his day, much like you do.

And, the thing with soulmates, it’s the fact that you can’t just forget about it. Every time you look in the mirror, you see the burn print grip your upper arm, and you often wonder what type of interaction you’ll bump into. Peter, like most people’s soulmark, is his hand - it wasn’t unique, but he can’ t wait to place that hand on his soulmate, see how it perfectly lined up.

“You should go find them, kid,” Tony patted Peter on the back, ruffling his hair, “How hard can it be?”

Everyone thinks looking for their soulmate is easy, it really isn’t.

All you wanted was three shots of espresso in you.

It was far too early in morning for any human interactions. Whilst you didn’t have a shift that morning, you had a lot of work to do. You were only annoyed that morning because you got your days confused, alas you were up bright and early, and unneeded. Though, whilst you were out in the great New York City, it didn’t hurt to at least grab something for breakfast before heading back to your university flat and start on work, the three essays, presentation and two projects to get done by the end of the month. You wanted to get ahead before you started stressing out.

That’s all you wanted. Was that too hard to ask?

Because, apparently, it was.

But, you’re not a selfish human being and the morning was barely touched by humans at the hour you were about. Just on your way to the local small coffee shop you had witnessed a crime. A poor elderly woman got her purse snatched, you only thought this happened in movies but apparently targeting sweet elderly women was an actual thing around in real life.

You could be like every twat in New York City, ignore it, or be an actual nice person. You decided the latter, knowing you have a guilty conscience that would probably keep you up awake later in the night, had you done nothing at all to help a fragile elderly woman.

“HEY!” You shouted, alerting the thief and the elderly woman - which probably shouldn’t have been your first thought of action, just as you were about to sprint after the man, you were interrupted.

“Don’t worry I got it!” You hear a voice above you, confused to what could be shouted above you.

Next thing you see was Spiderman swinging through buildings before landing right next to you, his hand grabbing you in the upper arm. You were confused to as why Spiderman was in this part of the city before realising your arm was burning. Your knitted eyebrows faded away as you looked down at his hand, realising that it was the same exact position to where your soul mark was.

“Holy shi-”

Peter must have realised what was going on as he picks you up, and out of panic, throws you into the fucking alley way and webs you up to the wall. You[’re lucky that you didn't smack your head against the wall upon impact.

“I’ll be back!” He calls out, hoping to find this thief quickly and be reunited with you.

Meanwhile, you were against a wall with only webbing to support you. It had baffled you that he was able to web you up so quickly. As of now, you were contemplating life and how you got into this weird situation. It took Peter fifteen minutes to finish what had happened. Landing back in the alley way where you were trapped. You looked at him with a raised eyebrow as you watched him freak out.

When you think about your soulmate, you think of a handsome man of your age, perhaps polar opposite to you or like you, exactly like you in personality. But, not fucking Spiderman.

“You’re Spiderman!” You exclaimed.

“You’re my soulmate!” He exclaims back.

You stare at him as he stares back at you, you blinked slowly as you watched his mask eyes slowly decrease in size before increasing bad to full size.

“You’re fucking Spiderman!” You shouted, heart racing, “My soul mate is Spiderman and he’s webbed me up!”

“Well, you know what they say, shoot your load.”

“What?”

“I-I mean shoot your shot!”

There was silence between the two of you. Peter scratching the back of his neck, he was panicking because this wasn’t how he was supposed to meet you. He was supposed to meet you as Peter Parker, the awkward nerd who was very socially awkward and then he was going to struggle to admit that he was a superhero. Not the other way round. But, as you both stand in awkward silence, Peter got to actually look at you.

“Um, can you help me down?” You asked, tilting your head to the side, “Unless they melt over time, cause if so, I’m going to get hungry.”

“It’s pretty easy to get out of that,” Peter says as you struggled to wiggle, let alone tear a section of webbing, “Right, you don’t have super strength.”

Peter came up to you, ripping his webbing, his face flaring up with redness because my god, this was such an embarrassing situation to get yourself. He caught you effortlessly when you had escaped the webbing. He lets go of your hands, however the pair of you don’t miss the electric sensation that was produced when you make contact.

You brush yourself clean from the webbing, “Shoot your load?”

“I panicked!” Peter confessed as you laughed.

Peter got to admire you, you were of his age, with a bright smile and a lovely laughter he wouldn’t mind getting to hear often. He thinks your voice was soothing to listen to. You looked at him, fixing your jacket and you smiled at him.

“So, who's under the mask?” You asked, eyes wide, it’s only fair if you know the identity of Spiderman, he is your soulmate after all.

“I’m Peter,” Peter takes his mask off and surprises you at his attractiveness, his hand outstretched towards you, “Peter Parker.”

You take his hand to shake, a corner of your lip uplifting, “Stark’s intern? I thought you sounded familiar, well, I’m (Y/n) (L/n).”

“Pleasure to meet you,” Peter says, trying to ignore the tingling sensation as you grip his hand in the handshake.

You let go of his hand, rubbing the back of your neck, “Uh, so I was going to grab breakfast, I was wondering if you have a change of clothes, you can join me.”

Peter looked down at his attire, his face reddening once again, nodding, “I have a change of clothes somewhere, give me like five minutes and I'll join you.”

“I'll be waiting at the end of the alley way,” You say, there was an inviting smile on your face, walking towards the end of the alley way, coming back to civilisation.

You laugh to yourself, your soulmate is Spiderman, and you know from then - you have wild life ahead of you with him. For once, you’re excited for what the future holds.

#peter parker #peter parker imagine #peter parker x male!reader #x male reader #Avengers #avengers imagine #avenger imagines #avenger x male reader

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floralkittygambler · 4 years ago

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RadioDust is the Healthiest Toxic Ship for Angel so far

@honesthazbinarchives Briefly. I’d like to go into this more in the future BUT these are the main points I said I’d do. Heh ‘stay tuned’ for why HuskerDust is toxic [haaaa funny fuckin reference n shit like Viv herself aint overdone it]. Yer dont even wanna know the lack of enthusiasm in tryna do a playful ‘cringetopia’ joke - wasnt as fun as anticipated. Anyfuckinways, the shit. Before we begin, disclaimers n whatnot, no hate intended, dni if you’re a bit of a knobhead [either stan or extreme anti], an all that nonsense. I dont own the characters no shit. In this I’ll discuss how RadioDust aka SpiDEER (thats right, yer stuck w my shit humour now) is both the healthiest ship for Angel we’ve seen so far but still rather toxic. Idc if you hate me for it but dont fuckin waste yer time telling me. Great. I dont care. Yer fuckin hard n whatnot for harassin strangers online. Big dick energy to you. This will be slightly messy, my apologies, it’s a quick summary of many points.

Alright. Firstly, out of the entire male cast Angel interacts with over all platforms, Al is given a fair bit of mercy in terms of sexual advances. In fact, a swift ‘no’ and Angel doesn’t do it again - unlike most of the other cast [pent’s is covert, husks is overt]. One thing I like is that Angel himself admits to their chemistry (claiming that whilst he thinks Al’s a prick, he thinks Al dislikes him which saddens him as he’d at least like to be friends as he feels they have good chemistry - according to the VA via Hunicast’s 1yr anniversary), there’s no further efforts to jump on his dick but a clear curiosity/interest in what Al can do. Lets go to the basics, both are of similar age [allegedly in their 30s, though Ive heard Al may be up to mid 40s] as well as created near the same-ISH time (as in, Viv’s oldest characters, at least for HH). Likewise, Viv admitted to knowing fuck all on either of their eras (and to make that public wasn’t really a wise choice BUUUT if you felt the need, it’s better worded with interest “Right now I’m working towards educating myself more on their time periods to improve their portrayals” <-- crucial if yer want that ‘realism’). Because of their real-world ages, Viv confesses they’re her favourites (even if you didnt know, she makes it pretty clear). It could be a nice ‘homage’ to their impact in her life but not too relevant otherwise. It could fulfil the need for self indulgence that she’s unhealthily leaking into the canon - which will ultimately make the series shit. No sugarcoating there. As for their ages, a relationship can work whether the gap is large or small HOWEVER there are many ethics and conflicts to each. And being an adult into kids is always fucked up. With that being said, studies have shown that closer ages often work better due to the often similarities in mindset, maturity and life goals (older folks are more likely to want to settle, younger often have more ambitions), likewise there tends to be an unbalanced power-dynamic if the ages are too far, which can lead to various types of abuse. Dont get me wrong, being with someone much older (AS LONG AS NONE OF YALL ARE KIDS) very much CAN work - but rarely. There’s much more hardwork needed as well as being in the right mindset for both, otherwise it’s bad. More on that in HD. Long story short, both are closer in age meaning both are more ‘relatable’ to one another. There’s common grounds, even in the eras there’s some higher understanding of one another. Notice how Vaggie and Charlie are similar in age? (Even though Charlie is far older, her appearance and mentality for her race is on par with Vaggie’s, making it far more likely to work out positively) One of the most prominent out of all of this however is their actual interests. So listing; Both like action/chaos/having fun (often at the expense of others), both love cooking and can be food snobs in their own right, both have sadistic AND masochistic tendencies, Al likes performance and theatre whilst Angel loves *to* perform, on that last point Angel was very intrigued and enjoyed Al’s song number/performance naturally, both really enjoy pranks and both enjoy liquor (neither show an actual addiction, but rather an interest in social drinking - no dependencies on it). Again, close eras mean both have a higher probability of understanding the other and their lifestyles better. Both are high on appearance and love themselves, implying self confident mindset (healthy BUT the narcissism isnt) yet enough consideration for how they are viewed. On the parent system, one adores his mama whilst the other hates his pops. Now Ive gone on about how they’re similar. But similarities ALONE is not enough. If it was, then fandom’s would be a lil more harmonious~ A HEALTHY relationship needs compatibility, POSITIVE conversation flow, common grounds, trust, openness and understanding. Even then, some people click and some just dont. It’s like how you can just hate someone for no reason. It just IS. Common grounds and similarity is scientifically proven to be attractive to someone - be it good or BAD. People are drawn to those like their parents in some way usually, likewise we look for people similar to ourselves (from our interests, to humour, beliefs, goals, etc). Science itself states that ‘opposites attract’ solemnly applies in the real world successfully. Though similiarity plays a large role, there has to be some differences too - that person is STILL an individual separate to yourself. Too similar and it’s boring. Too similar and you’ll do everything together without some ‘you’ time. Both Vaggie and Charlie have similar interests/hobbies in dance and music, yet still have enough differences to be identifiable when together. Vaggie is more grounded than Charlie. Charlie gives some optimism and fun to Vaggie. Remember, a partner does NOT complete you - that’s a toxic mindset when taken too seriously, You complete YOURSELF. Whether you have someone or not, you must feel complete in yourself as to not slip into toxic dependency on a lover - to become them, a shadow of them or feel like you’ve lost your identity without them. Sounds harsh but it’s true. Chaggie compliments each other without a dependency. You stand alone yet uplift one another. You don’t always agree but in the end you always have each other’s backs. Love is often butchered in a toxic light in the media. So taking that into consideration, how does spideer work? Well, here’s some examples of good, bad and neutral: - Angel loves animals, Al fears/dislikes dogs. Perhaps Angel could assist him in overcoming this? - Al hates being touched, Angel dislikes being squeezed. Maybe this could help them reach an understanding... Or cause a rift? - Angel was the only one to break Al’s composure, either Angel is the *key* to delving further into Al’s more raw self... Or just another obVOXious pest? (yeah, I said it-) - Neither respect other’s boundaries, meaning both may fuel the other to be overly disrespectful in this area. Not good. - Angel is a sarky/sarcastic fuck, Al loves dry humour. Both seek amusement and chaos. In relationships one needs to see how conversation flows and in the hunicasts, both keep up some good as well as toxic banter. Both could roast the fuck out of an opponent however. - Al is acro/ace, Angel is hypersexual (appears like a sex addict - now I say this as his book has a crossed out ‘fun stuff’ with ‘work shit’ written on it. He’s always fixed on sex from his job to his humour), this could either aid Angel ease up on the sex stuff OR make him overly push it onto Al causing major rifts and discomfort (aces can have sex, ref to ace posts that real asexuals put to understand more but no one wants to be forced into sex is the point here). And we’ve already discussed their lack of respect for boundaries. The positive is that maybe this will make Angel understand how Val is rubbing off on his own behaviour towards men [again, more on that in the HD post]. - Both similar yet different in a way that does suit their compatibility chances but that doesnt mean they will click, it just improves the odds. - Both have similar enemies in Val and Vox, they’re on common terms. Likewise, Al is against the ‘sexual deviance’ of hell meaning he may be oddly supportive and protective of Angel in terms of Val. I dont even think his sadism will override this either. - Al dislikes modern tech, Angel seems to use it as his job requires it. A nice little menial difference. - Only ONE is an addict. Take it from an expert, you NEVER put two addicts together. They’re very vulnerable and prone to slipping deeper into their addictions as well as depending on each other too much that they essentially become very clingy, suffocating and toxic to each other. Seen it in action, it’s ugly. - Both could have a lot of fun and calm moments with each other. - He isn’t immediately smitten with Al but immediately shows a natural interest in Al’s powers and performance, embracing it openly. Leads for a good friendship turned lovers plot. - In Viv’s patreon, she confirmed Angel loves confident guys [sounds exactly like Al] We need to think about where both are mentally. What benefits would a relationship give both? How would they be good and bad for each other? For Al, aside from his outdated views and being a fucking murderer and narcissist, he actually seems in a good mindspace for a relationship IF he opted to be in one. Angel however has a very immature mindset, likewise is in a phase of life where hes bed hopping. IF he were to be in a relationship, I’d say he needs a male equivalent of Cherri - someone with a similar mindset yet some differences, willing to have fun and in touch with their younger side, down to cuddle, open to share and receive love as well as not afraid to publicly be affectionate with him, someone who sees him as more than just for sex, someone fun, someone who’ll let him embrace his cutesy side publicly without shame - Cherri is younger so maybe someone who’s his age or slightly younger perhaps? I think Angel’s not retirement home ready to settle and needs someone on his level that can cuddle and chill as well as feels free and youthful enough to go wild with him. In one sense, he’s got a teen girl sorta mindset (dont put him with a teen though, it’s fuckin weird-). He needs someone positive and raw, someone to let him be himself as well as someone comfortable to be themselves around him. He has a habit of latching onto unobtainable men (in psychology, this is self sabotaging subconsciously): Travis the client, Val a pimp, Husk (emotionally unavailable and needs HEAVY self work - interestingly far more than Angel - plus he’s still onto his last relationship and an addict to gambling and alcohol), Pent who’s the enemy he was currently fighting (inappropriate timing), Alastor who’s not interested in another but his own needs [selfish, VERY bad for a relationship]. Subconsciously he’s self sabotaging on purpose. There’s many psychology books as well as sources online for this, if you’re interested. Either way, Angel is drawn to men either like his father [who dislike him, shun him, or are otherwise cold, abusive or just blatantly dislike or otherwise dont care about him] or anyone with money to fuel his drug addiction/’debt’ to Val. Going with any of these men isn’t a good idea. Preferably, Angel needs someone who he doesnt immediately crush and obsess over. Someone who he doesnt sexually harass or assault. Someone he can build a connection with quickly that can bud into romance (think how Chaggie started as a friendship which clicked immediately). Maybe even someone he doesn’t expect to fall for but does so anyways. It would be more realistic as Viv wants as well as more healthy. That for once he isnt sex or money craved instantly, thus doesnt sexually harass/assault and is given a proper chance to develop and grow a friendship and love. Someone who isnt an addict. Someone with an on-par mindset where they click. Someone open to love. For any chance of a good relationship, Angel needs to be with anyone BUT who we’ve already seen. There’s too much toxicity that’ll be swept under the rug and justified otherwise. Too much shit to fuel homophobes in terms of gay stereotypes. Even though Ive focused a fair bit on Angel, it’s NOT just about Angel. That’s something fans forget. Some he depends on or someone who depends on him in the long term wont last and will be very dangerous to both. Just because you suffer, you dont then deserve to be rewarded with ‘something nice’. You dont get to have everything youve ever wanted. Giving him any of these blokes [minus Val] gives him a pass. Gives him what he wants. I get Viv loves him but life doesnt work that way. True lasting growth comes from learning that. Acceptance and growth. You dont get everything you want and sometimes thats a GOOD thing. He’s not a spoilt kid who gets everything he asks for, he’s YOUR creation. If you really wanted what your creations deserve then you need to research and be realistic with it. Because hes starting to feel like a shitty Gary-Stu at this rate. I live with an ‘Angel Dust’ like person. It used to feel like life gave her everything and most times it did. Everyone loved her and she could get away with murder if she wanted to. But now she’s had to struggle and grow, let go of some ‘wants’ because they werent good for her and she’s becoming better for it. She has a long way but she’s more humble for it now [still got self confidence but it’s less narcissism now, which is more healthy for her]. Also, they make the word anal lol

#stans and antis dni #pros and cons to radiodust #spideer #anti hazbin #viv needs to actually research #vivs been in toxic relationships so she should know better and how these come across #wait until anti huskerdust #ill really be fuckin loathed then #anyways #enjoy?

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allie1804-fan · 3 years ago

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Kerensa

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5 , Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8

Chapter 9

The Griefcast Record

Keanu got out of the taxi at Whistledown Studios and headed in. Cariad and the recoding team greeted him and they got set up with teas, biscuits and a box of tissues on the table

“God, it’s just like a therapist’s room!” he joked

“Best to be prepared! They might be for me anyhow” she laughed.

Before we start though, can I just spend a moment being a fangirl and just say how amazing it is for me to meet you. There are so many films of yours I love – and my kids adore Duke Caboom!”

“ahh yes, Canada’s Greatest Stuntman” he boomed - “that was a fun role”

“and so perfectly cast right?”

“Yeah yeah I guess. I’m glad they picked me from the roster of Canadians they had lined up!”

“Ok, so thanks for letting me just gush for a moment! Are you ready?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be!”

“First tell me the story of how we managed to get you as a guest.”

“Ok so right, so errm my friend Kerry is the link. I was filming in Cornwall this past year and uh, after we wrapped I was so charmed by the place that I decided to stay and rent a place for a couple of months down there. Kerry was my landlady and one day I came across her walking along the beach, tears streaming down her face and she was listening to your show which she highly recommended to me. I admit it took a bit of persuading to listen, given the crying thing!, but she told me it was more reassuring and uplifting than upsetting. Anyway, so sorry, this is turning into a shaggy dog tale!, so I did give it a go, really loved it

“Oh thank you”

“So then one day we were discussing an episode about baby loss, something we had in common and had talked about before and she said I should do the show. Now THAT took a lot more thought and persuasion, but she said it would do me good and there would be the angle of the man’s perspective and being someone with a public profile going through loss and you know yada, yada yada so here I am, finally!

“That’s amazing and thank you so much to Kerry for listening to the show and for your persuasive talents in getting this lovely man here today. So Keanu, as you know we always start with this question. Who are we remembering today?”

“Today we’re remembering my daughter Ava who was stillborn 23 years ago this year.”

“Ok so would you mind telling me a little bit about what happened.”

“So, ahh, it was in the spring of 1999. The Matrix had just come out and my life was pretty full on. My girlfriend Jennifer became pregnant around that time. It was unplanned and I’ll be honest, I wasn’t super happy about it at first, but she wanted to keep the baby and I said I’d support her, you know, and as time went on I was more excited than worried about becoming a dad.”

“And how was the pregnancy? How far along was Jennifer when Ava died?”

“Everything seemed fine, she, Ava was growing and developing normally. Jen was healthy. Then I was away filming, a god awful project as well! And, Um, ahh, give me a minute” Keanu cleared his throat and took a drink of water.

“I swore I wouldn’t do this” he said gesturing at himself tearing up, his voice cracking slightly “but sometimes, the memories can be, uhhh, very powerful, very vivid”

“Yes you can be taken right back like it just happened can’t you, however long ago - you know I’m 20 plus years out now and still very occasionally I can be catapulted back there. So, everything looked good but you were away, filming - and I’m sure it can’t have been an awful film”

Keanu snorted

“I assure you it was!, yes anyway, Jen went for a last check up at a little over 8 months and uh, there was no heartbeat. Ava had died and so I flew home and she had to, you know, give birth in a maternity unit, hearing all the other babies being born - I mean they have to do it there because you still might need, you know, that expertise and they tried to keep us private but those places they get busy and she had to go through all that with those sounds sometimes breaking through”

“Yes I hear that that is a common experience here in the UK too and one that SANDS, the still birth charity is trying to address. It’s interesting your choice of words: “she went through that”, presumably you were there so didn’t you go through it too?”

“Yeah, yeah - I guess, I just meant that it was worse, more traumatic mentally for her and obviously physically too”

“Sure sure, but awful for both of you nonetheless”

“Indeed, it was” Keanu paused a moment as though something important had just occurred to him “and she was beautiful too you know”

“awwwww” Cariad moaned sympathetically

“she was beautiful, perfect and warm, just silent, still”

Keanu looked up at Cariad, his eyes filled with tears once more and they both just sat for a moment, taking in the pain of his loss. Eventually, Cariad started the conversation again.

“And did you both hold her? Did the hospital staff help you, you know, to say goodbye to her?”

Yeah yeah, we did hold her. They left us be for a good amount of time, they took prints of her hands and feet and a photograph. You know they were supportive in that way, especially as we knew already, you know, that she had died, they were prepared. I don’t think we were, I mean I don’t think you can prepare for that, right? Your brain won’t let you, not really.”

“Yeah yeah, we talk about that a lot on the show, there are people who say it’s better when someone dies of an illness so you know it’s coming whereas with a sudden death you suffer more shock but I still think there’s a degree of shock you experience even when you have some warning.

“Yeah yeah and it’s so stupid, we’re all just so dumb because death is coming man, to us all but we just don’t want to think about it!” He chuckled

“So are you someone who thinks about death a lot?”

“Yeah yeah it’s always there in the back of my mind, spurring me on to do things, make that film, write that script, build that bike!”

“And do you think that’s because of losing Ava?”

“I don’t know, no not really, well maybe a little but that’s come more with getting older I think - I didn’t really have that reaction at the time”

“So what was your reaction, how did you grieve for Ava?”

Another chuckle came from Keanu.

“A more appropriate question might be how didn’t I grieve for her, at the time I mean!”

“Oh?”

“Hee hee you’re like a therapist, leaving the gaps for me to fill!”

“Some of my critics say I interrupt too much and start talking about me so…..”

“We’ll that’s not very nice is it? And also not true!”

“Thanks - Comes with the territory I guess, so please, go on, fill the gap”

“What was the question again?”

“It was about how you did or didn’t grieve for Ava after her birth?”

“Mmmm well we buried her, in the new year, she was born on Christmas Eve, which is uhhh, another tricky thing about it”

“Oh that’s awful, death on high days and holidays just adds another layer right?”

“Yeah yeah. They do - so um after that I went to Georgia to shoot a movie!”

“So you threw yourself into work then?”

“Yup, my trusty friend in times of crisis. In fact I did, let me see, 1, 2, 3, yes 3 movies in the next year and then started training for the Matrix 2 and 3 so I guess the answer is I put my feelings in a tightly locked metaphorical box and didn’t open it for quite some time!”

“And was there intrusion from the press , I guess this is pre the days of the internet being so developed and social media but how was that side of it?”

“Yeah there was some, you know photographers with long lenses at the cemetery”

“God! I can’t imagine”

“Yeah pretty low, right but in a way because of the taboo of stillbirth, people, you know interviewers and stuff, didn’t ask me about it. I mean I would sometimes say “no personal questions” but at other times that hasn’t stopped people.”

“Oh like what?”

“I’m thinking of when River, River Phoenix died, even if I said I wouldn’t answer anything personal they would still ask how I felt, did I miss him. I mean, fuck! Oh sorry I can swear right?”

“Swear away, sure, and god, fuck yeah, that deserved it. I mean obviously that’s a bit of a contradiction coming from me given we’re here and I’m making you talk about private things but”

“But I agreed, that’s the deal here, it’s not the deal to segue from “how was it jumping onto a moving bus to “how do you feel about your best friend dying!”

“Absolutely. So you said you dealt with it, but much later? What about Jennifer, how did she cope?”

“Umm, I don’t know - I mean what’s normal in that situation? She cried, she wailed like a wounded animal. Her mum moved in. I was away and not there to support her like I should have been. We weren’t really a couple either by then. We were going to co-parent but not as a romantic couple you know so it was complicated. To be honest I think a little bit of her died right then - and then she died herself the following April so you know, what you see before you is the last man standing of that family unit that might have been.”

“Woo that’s tough. You’ve really been through the mill as it were.”

“Yeah, yeah but you know I AM still standing. I’m lucky.”

“And how did Jennifer die?”

“Car wreck”

“I’m so sorry”

“Thanks, me too”

“So how is that, being the only one left? Some people talk about losing key people as losing their witness.”

“Yes! That’s it, exactly. Now it’s just me here to remember Ava, to remember her coming in and out of this world”

Yeah yeah that’s hard. So you said you dealt with it later? How did that come about?”

“Midlife crisis I guess - when I turned 40, I had a bit of a meltdown, you know, wondering about my goals, what I had or hadn’t achieved. I basically “ran away” alone to Paris on my 40th birthday, to escape any awful surprise party! And you know, I quietly fell apart in a vat of wine! When I went home my friend Janey was just like “Keanu, it’s time, time for therapy!”

“Ahhh it’s great isn’t it, big fans of that on the show!”

“Yeah I guess, I mean, ahhh I wasn’t that comfortable taking the lid off but yeah it did me a favour and helped sort my shit out. And a lot of the guilt and pain of losing Ava was gone through belatedly during that process”

“And why did you feel guilty?”

“Mmmm well I think I started to think I was a curse - my sister had been sick with leukemia, Ava had died, Jen had died, River, others as well and I felt guilty for that stupid film I was working on when it happened! So yeah, there were lots of rocks to lift up, inspect what lay beneath and deal with my emotions.”

“Well you seem like you have your shit sorted now”

“I’m a work in progress!”

“So now you’re, 23 years on, how do you remember Ava and Jen now.”

“Well it’s hard to forget the day for Ava what with it being Christmas Eve. I sometimes visit their graves - after dark if I can to avoid being hounded”

“What has the world come to when a person can’t be left in peace to visit a loved one’s resting place”

“Yeah it’s fucked up right?”

“Precisely.”

“And what else? , well I do have one little thing that my friend Alex who’s an artist, made for me. It was because of something she said she did to remember her lost loved ones. She would get a Christmas ornament that in some way represented the person and hang it on her tree at Christmas. So she made this beautiful little stained glass bird to hang up on my tree or in the house if I don’t have a tree which sometimes happens. So, uh, Ava’s name in Latin would mean bird or bird like so that’s why she did that, yes so I always think of her then and you know I would think about where she would be at a given point like when my friends kids have started school again after summer break I would think “oh Ava would be starting you know kindergarten or elementary school etc.”

“And do your family share in that?”

“Yeah, yeah - especially my mom. She has no grandchildren so yeah she remembers and we’ll have a moment sometimes yeah but it can be lonely, not having the other parent there who shares the same loss.”

“Yes I’m sure it is. Grief can be very lonely sometimes. Well, Keanu I really can’t thank you enough for coming on my little podcast and sharing your experience of baby loss and loss in the public spotlight with us today. Thank you so much for telling us about your beautiful baby girl Ava and her mum Jen.”

“Thanks for having me - I know this might sound weird, but it’s been a pleasure talking with you and remembering them today so, thank you and thanks to Kerry who suggested it. She said it would be good for my soul and she, as always, was right!”

@fortheloveoffanfic @omg-imagine @iworshipkeanureeves @toomanystoriessolittletime @ladyreapermc @paperplanesandwallflowers @patric9

#keanu reeves fanfic #keanu reeves fanfiction #keanu #keanu reeves #keanu reeves ofc

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bearpillowmonster · 3 years ago

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Neo: The World Ends With You

I'm invested in the original game and its characters, I'm invested in this game and its characters. I've had a lot of time for the original game to marinate and I can say that I enjoy pretty much every character and their arc and while I don't exactly feel the same with this one, that's not disappointing to me and this was my most anticipated game of 2021 so I mean that. This is a sequel, I expected as much and it didn't let me down, it's even better than I thought.

This is a NONSPOILER review because I think it's best experienced by actually experiencing it so I'll keep a lot of character, story, and even gameplay details out other than how the very VERY beginning of the game starts out with Rindo and Fret.

Let me give credit where credit is due, Rindo is voiced by Paul Castro Jr. who is a new voice actor and I was honestly impressed by his voice more than anyone else in the game, I love his voice and while Rindo has some pretty big shoes to fill as the main, I think he does it. Rindo seems to act pretty accordingly to the situation he's put in. He's not as edgy as Neku but he has enough push to him to where he would be considered the "negative" of the group but I would rather call it "rational" because he brings up some valid points, stuff that I myself was asking. Putting yourself in his shoes, that seems pretty accurate.

Fret on the other hand is a bit of the opposite, an optimist if you will. He's not really a "bad" character, just in comparison to the others, he's not my favorite. I think that there needs to be someone in his position who tries to uplift the team, but he's just a little annoying about it sometimes. Also get ready to hear "Galaxy Brain, ACTIVATE!!" literally hundreds of times, as much as he talks, you'd think he'd add more variety.

IMPROVEMENTS:

I'm not going to complain about certain gameplay elements or limitations that carried over from the last game except one. The camera. It's fixed to where you have no control over it in the city areas and therefore can't get a proper look at everything, whether that works in its favor, I'm not sure because you get used to it but it's just a small peeve you start out with.

The combat is pretty loyal to the first game which is surprising. I personally didn't like the original gameplay because it was so limited on the DS, a lot of room for error, but having it on console expands the system and lets you use buttons rather than mashing a touch screen, improving on almost, if not all, gameplay fronts. However, because it's based on a game from 2007, the system may seem a little outdated to some, it's really up to you, it made a fan out of me, making it more fun.

I played the original in bites, not because of lack of enjoyment but because I felt like it was a game I could only get into for so long at a time but with this game it's the complete opposite. Maybe it was the DS hardware that hampered the original but I say it's a decent success on this game's part. I also felt that Persona 5 seemed a bit formulaic in its story context and gameplay layout with each castle but this game, while having patterns, it changes before you get the chance to really catch on. I could predict P5 but I couldn't predict this, each day was a mystery, I knew you'd fight people but I didn't always know who or when which is crazy considering that P5 had all the choices!

A small improvement that I'll suggest for combat is having short rhythm based moves or even QTEs, like how in the original Shiki had the directional pad moves which were annoying but still varied from the rest of the gameplay. There are definitely new things that you can do, but there are a few aspects worth complaining about. You can unlock certain abilities and once you enable them, you can't disable them. The only one that it personally applies with is the ability to enable individual health bars for enemies, rather than an overall one. Which sounds good but-

I personally don't like that it's always floating above their heads, if it was on the side screen, that'd be one thing but constantly above their heads? No deal. I actually had to go back and load up an old save to get rid of it. But with unlocking certain abilities comes with quality of life aspects so if you're not in love with the gameplay at first, give it a little bit because you might be able to unlock whatever piece you're missing.

There's also "soundsurfing" that adds to your groove meter that you can use when running around and it said that you press (in my case "X" on PS4) to the beat of the song which is a cool concept but it really isn't clear how to use it because I try matching the beat and I get nothing and have more success just button mashing. The groove meter can drop when it's not supposed to, like when you literally can't attack during the buffering of a special or switching between battles in a chain (The "Get Ready" screen) And if you're in a proper boss battle, you HAVE to fight, it's like a trainer battle in Pokémon which is especially annoying when you accidentally press "retry". It has no reason to be there when I already know that I'm not prepared for the boss and can't back out.

Do the trailers spoil it?

Originally, I only saw the first and or second trailer and knew I wanted it so there was no reason to see any more but it was kind of overwhelming with all the characters they were showing off in just a single trailer. I don't think they needed to go that far but I understand why they did. I understand why they showed a lot of things that they did but I think it's a bit easier to SWALLOW when it's introduced in-game. I even found myself doing all the side-quests and being engaged in the side-stuff in-game. But I knew about people pointing out spoilers so after I finished it, I went back and looked at the other trailers and OH BOY. The final trailer shows some stuff and I'm SO glad I didn't watch it. They straight up show some out of context death scenes as well as different alliances and betrayals, not to mention parts of the freaking ending. The launch trailer is no better, it's just like that trailer but cut down. You may not have context but you can draw some hefty conclusions and that alone makes me question, why? I'm not sure if there are many reveals that they DIDN'T tease, it's like they went out of their way to hit every single one. Whether it's Square or Nintendo, they need to figure out how to cut a trailer, heck, hire me, I at least have the editing skills and know what's interesting enough to show and what's too spoilery not to show, come on!

Is it newcomer friendly?

I heard a lot of things like "it drops you in without mercy so pay very close attention" (in terms of story, that is) so only people who played the original game will be able to get it. But I beg to differ, I think it does a pretty good job of filling you in while putting you in the shoes of a new player (both in the game and out) AND keeping the mystery of whatever happened since the last game coming in small pieces. Most of the dialogue text boxes are voice acted so it's not really a slog to read. To prove my point further, the premise starts out very similar so it should be easy to clue in what exactly happened in the last game. Of course you're going to get more enjoyment out of it if you played the original but I don't think you'd be totally lost if you started with this one and played to right before the ending because then it kinda has to do stuff without preface, so you're going to be confused by much of the emotional weight that it carries. But it still gives you plenty of time to catch up on the original, whether through the game, videos, or lore, this game has you ask the questions, so fill in the blank. It has a nice length to it so you'll have until the ending to figure it out. Also, Final Remix teased stuff that this game makes clarity on but I wouldn't call FR mandatory. (Except maybe no numbers on the hand? Maybe even I missed something there.)

#neo: the world ends with you #neo: twewy #review #game #nonspoiler

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mr-styles · 5 years ago

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Harry Styles comes back on his own terms

The former One Direction breakout star decided to stop playing it safe and made the album he wanted. He sat down with Tom Power in New York to talk about his "big turning point." | Interview with Tom Power for CBC Radio Q

Tom Power: After the band goes on hiatus, Harry has to figure out who he is as a solo artist, and he’s been on this really interesting, sometimes difficult journey to redefine himself and his songs. He’s set to figure out how to make the music that he wants to make, on his terms. And, as you’re about to hear, it was a bit of a winding road to get there, because even when you become a solo artist, even when you start making more ‘authentic’ music to yourself, your fans, your history, can still influence your work in ways that can pull you away from yourself. I sat down with Harry Styles in Brooklyn in New York. When I spoke to this guy, I saw guy trying to figure it out, trying to figure out how to make the music that he wants to make.

Here’s Harry Styles and our conversation.

Tom: I really loved listening to your record, Harry. I really enjoyed every moment of it. I listened to it when it came out and then I put it on twice yesterday when I knew I coming down. And I really feel like I heard a couple of things. I heard a deep sense of longing in some of those songs and I also heard a sheer joy and they weren’t exclusive from one another. In the moments of longing, I still heard joy ‘cause it felt like I heard you doing what you wanted to do. Am I onto something?

Harry: I think so. I mean, that’s kind of what I hear when I listen to it and I think that’s what I have loved about the record so much, it’s that some of my most positive moments have been listening to some of the saddest songs. I think there’s moments where you get to some of the most emotional moments on the album and to me they feel quite uplifting. Especially stuff like 'Fine Line', pretty sad song. And then, you know, I wanted that end to kind of be very - it just feels quite optimistic to me, I think. It kind of felt the best way to finish the record. I’m pleased you kind of got that from it, I guess. But I think, when you write sad songs, you can gain a lot from them, sometimes it's just as a simple as them being a good outlet to kind of get something out. It's nice sometimes to kind of wrap a feeling up in a like, a little three and a half minute package, and it doesn’t mean you have to wallow in it, it can be like, ‘Okay’. And then you gain something from it, you get a song from it and you can turn an experience that isn’t necessarily that positive into a positive one and you can learn from it. I think that’s kind of what’s exciting about music.

Just simply processing hard things and it’s almost therapeutic in a way.

Yeah, I feel like it's difficult to be as honest with any person as you can be with an instrument, if you’re just sitting and writing with a guitar or a piano or something. And even if it doesn't end up being the song, just saying something out loud can be nice, to kind of get that out. So I definitely find writing incredibly therapeutic.

It reminds me, sometimes i kind of go to therapy and I feel like all I did was talk and I didn’t hear anything back. And I realise that, that...

Is the point of therapy?

That, that in itself is a beautiful thing, you know? Did it feel different making the first one, the solo one? Like, less pressure?

Yeah, it felt really different. I’d say yeah, I think less pressure, but more just that I put less pressure on myself, I think. I felt like - I mean, first of all it was much longer and it was a lot more frustrating, and I’d say it was probably more difficult in terms of the actual finishing it and everything. But each moment when you get to those things where you’re making something that you really care about, sometimes it’s nice because as soon as you come out the other side of this difficult section, the frustrating section, you’re like, ‘It’s not supposed to be easy.’ It’d scare me a bit if I made an album and I was like, ‘Oh, this is really easy. I’m so happy with everything all of the time, there’s no questions to be asked about anything.’

I wouldn’t trust it.

Right, exactly. So, I’d say the main difference was, I think when I listen back to the first album now and when I think back to making it, I think I worried a lot just about, getting it wrong. When I listen to it, I can hear places where I was trying really hard not to get it wrong and it feels a little like playing it safe a little bit.

What does getting it wrong mean?

I don’t know. I think that’s one of the things that I put very much on myself, because there’s not really a right and a wrong in music and that’s what’s exciting about it, but it’s also really scary. Sometimes, you don’t have that, like ‘Is this right, is this wrong?’, it doesn’t really exist.

Not like science, where, you know there’s an answer to the math question.

Yeah, you’re kind of floating. But I think when I listen to it - and I love the first album - it kind of feels like I was almost bowling with the sides up a little bit. And I feel like, when it came to making this album, I took those bumpers down and it just felt so much more free and joyous. I just had a better time and I was happier experimenting and it felt more about what feels good and what makes me excited to make stuff. There wasn’t really any point until like - I’ve never made a record I’m in like, ‘Okay, what are the singles and what are the songs that people are gonna hear and what are we going to put out first.’ We kind of finish the album and then you go ‘Okay, what comes first, how do you display the album in the best way?’, rather than ‘Okay, we’ve got the single that’s gonna be played and we’ll do a video for this one and now we’ll fill in the gaps and hope that everybody likes it.’ I mean, that’s really nice for me, and I’m lucky that I work with people who allow me to do that. It just makes the process so much more exciting to me but it also means that every song counts.

One thing that was on my mind when I was listening to the record, regarding all this, and of course your past and your history was on my mind while I was listening to it, I was reading about you when I was getting ready to talk to you and I read the Rolling Stone article about you, which was lovely. And one of the things it said was, it quoted this David Bowie thing, you know, ‘Never play to the gallery.’ I tracked down the clip and I watched it last night. And it’s something he says later that really actually stopped with me and I wrote it down here. He said, ‘I think it’s terribly dangerous for an artist to fulfill other people’s expectations.’ How have you found?

I think it’s so true. I wish I could just say that, the whole clip, quote, and pretend it was my own. I think it’s so perfect.

I think you’d get away with it.

I just think that first of all, if you’re gonna make something that you don’t like, if you’re just trying to please people, the worst thing that can happen is, it doesn’t go well and you just regret the fact that you didn’t make what you wanted to make. The best thing that can happen is, it goes really well and part of you probably still regrets not making what you wanted to make. I think there was a part, a little bit at the start of this album where, because the first album wasn’t necessarily a radio record, there was a part of me where I felt a little bit of pressure. I wanted to make a big album, and I wanted to be successful, and I wanted it to work. I think I was trying to do that for a couple of weeks and I just wasn’t really happy with the music I was making. It was like getting close sometimes, but it just felt like I was trying to force it. And it kind of felt like, ‘Oh, yeah, this song’ - there was a couple songs, there was one in particular that was a big turning point to me, because we wrote the song and everyone was really excited about it, it was like, ‘This feels like a really big song.’ And then I came to play it to someone and I was cringing about playing it to someone. And I was like, that’s not how you’re supposed to feel when you’re playing your music to people. And then, my friend, Tyler, who I work with, just said - we were talking about these albums that I wanted to make in the future and what they would sound like and he just said, ‘You just have to make the album that you wanna make right now.’ And that was a big turning point. I ended up making the album I wanted to make when it wasn’t about trying to make what people like. I think, you can make a bad song and you can make a bad album and you can make stuff that people don't like but they'll still believe in you as long as it's authentic. I think the moment that people go, 'You know, I'm kind of done with this, I don't want to support this anymore', is when you're faking it. You can't really blame people for that. If there was an artist that I loved and I went to his show and I felt like the music they were making wasn’t what they wanted to make, it wasn’t them and they didn’t really like it that much themselves, I’d probably stop going. I think that’s fair. I can only speak from personal experience, I can look at songs and be like, I’ve always made my worst music when I’m trying the hardest and when it feels a little bit too easy and it feels safe. It’s just like, ‘Oh yeah, this is what people want.’ And I write it and I just don’t like it, I just usually don’t like it. It’s not about - I don’t mean to be like, ‘Oh, I want to make stuff that is so confusing.’ I just only really know - I think a lot of the time when people are making music or they work in music, they think that everyone who works in music operates on this like, higher level of listening to fans. And sometimes people say, ‘Oh, I don’t know if people are gonna get it, I don’t know if people will understand it.’ And i think, ultimately, everyone who works in music are just fans, I’m a fan of music who gets to make some. I try and make it from that perspective, I try to write music as a fan of music and that’s kind of - I just don’t really know how else to do it, I guess.

I think they’re gonna take me out with a laser if I don’t stop soon but I have one more, if that’s okay.

We can do a couple, yeah.

You’re sure? Okay. It was back to that Bowie quote. One of the other things he said was, ‘Always remember that the reason you started making music was to understand more of yourself.’ What have you understood more of yourself through music?

I’d say this album will be a time of my life that I will look back on as a quite of pivotal moment for me personally, probably forever. I just went through a big moment of self-reflection, partly maybe I didn’t have time to do properly before and kind of accepting a lot of things.

Well, because you were busy, right? Because you are in the band and then you’re out of the band.

Yeah, it’s just a lot of stuff, kind of after each other. And I think, with this one, after touring with the first album, I just felt very accepted by the crowd. I think, you know, when you’re doing shows and stuff as part of the band, even with the shows, people have come to see a band, it never really feels like they’re there for you, because they’re not, they’re there to see a band. So, I think when I went out and started doing shows on my own, I was kind of just amazed that people were coming to see me. That felt like, ‘Oh. I just need to do what I want to do and they wanna see me be myself.’

They’re there for you. They must do something to you.

Yeah, it’s a really amazing connection, it’s like a special thing that you share with the people who come every night. Because, it’s kind of one of those things like, when you actually think about what coming to a show means, and you think about what it means when I go to a show. You get the ticket and you go, and you have to park or you have to take the train, and then you have to go, and then you have to get home. It’s a lot of things, it means a lot for people to kind of take a night out to go to a show. And that’s amazing and the biggest compliment I think someone can pay you is going to a show that you’re playing. You know, ‘cause you think about everyone in the room, and not everybody is stood in the front, and not everybody has the most amazing view, some people are in the back, and they still come. I think that’s a really beautiful thing. And, then, the process of making the album has been so joyous for me and felt very free. I'm lucky to work with people who kind of create that environment for me. To be able to he honest, and vulnerable, and experiment and get things wrong. I just feel like I learned a lot. I think this time, the times when I was happiest it was like, some of the happiest times of my life and the times when I was sadder were some of the lowest times of my life. I think, that’s kind of what the album's all about, it’s that kind of fragility of emotion and how fast it can change. That's why we ended up calling the album ‘Fine Line’. That was just like, a theme through the whole album process. So, yeah. I’m really proud of it.

You should be, it’s lovely. I know we have to go, I feel like you’ve always been able to insert - and I mean this - artfulness into spaces that don’t always welcome it and I’m appreciative of your work on that. Thank you very much.

Thanks for having me.

#this is the whole interview! for anyone who might be interested #interviews: 2020 #harry styles #tom power #it's like a transcript i guess

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sunsetinmyvein · 4 years ago

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The Radio Station - Chapter Six - Why Can’t We Be Friends?

26th of November, 2018

Eventually, she saw it all unfold in the headlines. The lies. The heroin. The trip to rehab. It was devastating to discover the root cause of Matty’s behaviour in such a disconnected way from how she might’ve expected to discover it a few years ago. A part of her wanted to reach out, to check in and see if he was doing all right, offer to help, but she suspected after their last two interactions that maybe she was better off just leaving it. However, in contrast to the sinking feeling from knowing he had been going through such turmoil, it was incredibly uplifting to see him getting back on his feet. For him to be writing and releasing music again meant that he must’ve successfully made it to the other side. Whenever the announcement of a new album came, she waited in anticipation for the email confirming that he’d be coming back on the show. She wasn’t entirely sure if she was excited at the thought of seeing him again, or absolutely dreading the prospect of things still being uncomfortable between them - her emotions seemed to regularly flip flop between the two. It was awfully close to the album release date when she finally got the confirmation from her boss; she had begun to suspect maybe he didn’t want to come back on the show after how they’d left things. He’d have every right to resent her after how she’d treated him.

She was knocked out of her thoughts whenever she heard a soft knock at the door, turning in her chair to see Matty standing outside with a sheepish smile, having arrived early. His hair was cropped quite a bit shorter than she’d seen it before but he was still sporting his natural curls. He was wearing some puffy yellow coat over a plain shirt, and stock standard worn out blue jeans. It was probably the most… average, that she’d ever seen him look (not that average was ever a truly fitting word to describe Matthew Healy). She waited for him to push the door open and come in, but he seemed to be waiting for her to let him in. As she stood up and opened the door, and he gingerly made his way inside and loitered next to her desk for a minute, she was suddenly vividly reminded of the first time she’d met him. All she could see was the nervous twenty-three-year-old that she’d met six years ago, who was scared shitless about his first proper radio interview. The nostalgia hit like a freight train, and before she could give it a second thought she grabbed him in a tight hug.

He hugged her back, pressing his face into her shoulder as he let out the breath he had been holding. “I’m sorry…” She said quietly after a moment.

He gave an incredulous laugh at that, “You’re sorry? For what?” He asked. “I was the dickhead.”

“I just…” This hadn’t really been the way she expected herself to instantly react, nor had she thought of anything to say in this situation. Her mouth was running dry trying to come up with the right words to explain what she was feeling. “I wasn’t exactly a good friend.”

“I think we were both a bit guilty of that.” He chuckled as he ran a hand through his hair, taking a step back.

“I should’ve tried harder.” She tried to explain, frowning at herself as she floundered for the right sentiment.

“It’s fine, truly.” He reassured her. “I wouldn’t have told you what was happening, anyway. Nobody knew.” He added with a shrug.

They took their seats opposite the desk, both feeling slightly relieved but well aware there was still tension surrounding them. “Uh, is there anything you want me to avoid asking about?” She asked eventually, busying herself with checking the text line to avoid looking directly at him.

“No.” Matty replied instantly. “I’d prefer you ask what you want to rather than censor yourself for my benefit. I won’t answer it if it’s too much.” He clarified. “Thanks for checking, though.”

“Are you…” She hesitated, unsure of the boundaries of their friendship now and how much she should be asking for her own curiosity. “Are you all right now?” She asked as she looked across to him.

He cracked a small smile, “Considerably better. Probably not all the way there yet, though. It’s hard with my girlfriend back at home for the moment, but I’m managing. Keeping busy with other stuff to stay occupied.” He answered truthfully. She nodded in understanding. “And you? It’s been at least three years since we’ve had a proper conversation.” The realisation of how long it had actually been stung slightly, but she ignored that feeling and instead focused on the fact that he seemed to genuinely want to know how she’d been.

“Good.” She grinned. “Doing well on the morning slot now that it’s been a few years.”

“You’ve been making a bit of a reputation for yourself over here, I hear your name get kicked around a bit when I’m at home. It’s nice to see you getting proper recognition for your efforts.” She tried her best not to blush at the subtle compliment.

Thankfully she didn’t have too long to dwell on his kind words and any connotations behind them before the interview started. The nervous butterflies sat at the pit of her stomach as she switched the live audio and video feeds over, lying in wait in case the interview still felt as awkward and forced as the last two.

“Matty, great to have you back.” She spoke, clearing her throat slightly.

“Great to be back after so long.” He said cheerfully.

“The 1975 release their new record in six days, A Brief Inquiry into Online Relationships-”

“Only six days?” He muttered to himself in slight disbelief.

“We’ve only got a relatively short interview today, because after this you are heading straight into the live lounge to play a few tracks for us.” He made a noise of agreement. “We’ve heard five singles off it, all of which sound very different from one another in true 1975 fashion.” Matty laughed lightly at that. “And I noticed that you did the same thing with this album as what you did with I Like it When You Sleep; the first single you released was the first track on the album. Is this becoming a habit for you guys?” She asked.

“Probably not a habit.” He started, letting out a huff. “It just felt like the most natural thing to do. Whether it felt like a primary statement or not, I’m not sure. We’d already made an album by that point, we hadn’t made a group of singles. I hadn’t been thinking ‘oh, how do we butter them up?’ Just thought… this is the first song on the record. Put it out.” He shrugged.

“Do you think this is your strongest record so far?”

“A hundred percent.” He answered instantly.

“I’ve heard people comparing it to OK Computer. Saying that it’s a similar thing for the millennial generation.” She prompted.

He let out a groan, “I try not to think much about it.” He admitted. “I mean, what do I say? It’s so humbling and amazing, but strange also, because… the only realisation that I really came to, about the record – I think the reference to OK Computer is maybe it’s kind of, the narrative is incredibly twinned with how we communicate and the internet and all those kind of things. Which is obviously OK Computer in a nutshell. My favourite records are about life.” He said, clenching his fist for emphasis and knocking the microphone lightly. “It’s maybe a bit of a big thing to say, but I was just writing a record about relationships. Well… I wasn’t even doing that; I was just writing a record. And it turns out if you’re trying to write an honest record about relationships and how they’re mediated in the modern day, you’re kind of by proxy writing about the internet.” He explained. Things already felt more natural than what they had of late. Matty felt more open and responsive, which instantly put her mind at ease.

“One of the other singles that we’ve heard from the album is Love It If We Made It, which is…” She tried to pick her words carefully to best capture her thoughts on the song succinctly, “a pretty powerful song to say the least.”

Matty nodded enthusiastically before answering, “The thing with Love It If We Made It… it was very, very difficult to write. It’s a list of information. The idea stemmed from the fact that over a year we collected tabloid newspapers every day to make the lyrics. Unfortunately, when we got to trying that, it was too slapstick. The song was hard to get right. It needed to be as objective and as fair and as anti… ‘watch out sheeple’ as possible. And that’s hard to do.”

“It seems you guys did a good job with it in the end. It’s been resonating well with our listeners.”

“Thanks.” Matty grinned proudly.

“It’s Not Living If It’s Not With You has also had quite the response.” She added, hoping he’d have a bit to say about that, and that maybe it could work as a segue to the questions blowing up her screen in her peripheral vision.

“It’s… I don’t know…” He sighed, staring blankly at the wall behind her as he tried to formulate an answer. “The way I always explain it, it’s like it’s a song that sounds poppy but it’s about something serious. Which, okay, that’s straight up 1975. And that’s because the feeling that I get from music, narratively or musically, can kind of be the same thing. You know like being nervous or being like, er, anxious for a date, physically could be the same feeling as the fear of heights if you get rid of all the intellect. Emotionally, you get the same thing. I’ve always been like, I get this feeling when I read the lyrics of Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen but I get the same carnal feeling when I hear the music to Girls Just Want to Have Fun. So… the synthesis of those ideas has just been the most obvious thing in the world for me, you know what I mean?” He looked across to her for confirmation. “I think that idea really sums up The 1975. If you’re a big fan of The 1975, that’s the most 1975-iest song on the record.”

She had hoped he would jump straight into the lyrical content of the song, but clearly she would need to segue into it herself. “That totally makes sense.” She agreed. “There’s been a bit of a debate about the subject matter of It’s Not Living.” She said, giving him a cautious glance. He’d said not to worry about asking whatever she wanted to, but that didn’t stop her from feeling like she was delving too deep into his private life.

He hummed thoughtfully. “I’m pretty sure most of the fans know what it’s about.” He said with a dry laugh. “I’ve not like… done some big reveal of my relationship with drugs over the past couple of years. I think that because…” He stared down at the desk with a frown, “I used to have nightmares about being exposed. Because remember, my whole game has always been that ‘do I know that you know that I think that I’m a rock star?’ that’s always been my whole thing.” He said with a pointed look. “So, the idea though, of actually being known for being a junkie and doing those kinds of things, used to terrify me. Because then I’m a cliché. I lose all of my irony and lose all of my funniness because I’m an actual cliché. So, I think even when I’m talking about it on this record, I’m still going ‘Danny ran into some complications-’ it’s like I’m using characters. It’s a bit like somebody going ‘I’ve got this mate, right, and he’s got a bit of this weird rash-’ “ He chuckled. “Like ‘yeah, all right, well tell your mate-’ it’s like we know who you’re talking about. I think the idea that I’m still trying to hide and remove myself from it is part of the gag. But then the chorus is brutally honest. It’s difficult to write a song like that. It’s hard to despise the idea of fetishizing or romanticising drug use as a behaviour but then only having my truth. Like I don’t have anything else, I don’t have anywhere else to talk about it. There is a hopelessness to drug addiction. You don’t keep doing it because it’s cool, you keep doing it because you feel like there’s no life without it.” His expression seemed to become quite sombre at that before he continued his train of thought. “And to express that… it wasn’t like a relief for me. The music is a catharsis for me, but it wasn’t like I needed to get that out. Unfortunately, I’m only my set of experiences, and they’re pretty limited as somebody who’s been on the road for four years trying to mediate his life through drug addiction, y’know? So yeah… it’s difficult to walk that line. Um… But I just had to make sure that… like with most of my work, any discussion of my behaviour is normally with a profound distaste. And kids are smart, man.”

She hadn’t really expected him to be so open about it so readily. “What started it?” She asked instinctually, almost forgetting for a moment that she was at work and meant to be providing entertainment. “If you don’t mind me asking.” She added as an afterthought.

He waved a hand dismissively at her worry. “I’d be on stage, and there would be however many thousands of people. And I’m genuinely trying to connect with people, you know? And then it’s done. Go back to the hotel room. Go to sleep. Like… what?” He answered with a frustrated huff. “I was trying to change culture in my head ten minutes ago and now I’ve gotta go to sleep? I used drugs to go to sleep primarily. I’ve never had a good relationship with sleep, anyway… I’ve always been jealous of people they’ll tell me about a dream and they’ll kind of like explain this little kind of film that they’ve been that has a dynamic of emotions and it was up and it was down and my dreams are just like terror. Just fear. I’ve never had that many good dreams. And drugs stop you dreaming. But then obviously… you have solutions to get rid of that post-show buzz. Didn’t really get me anywhere. Spoilt it, as well. Did way too much. Did loads of it.” He admitted. “So, I can’t do anymore of it… when I’m older.” He laughed.

“So, you became reliant on that as a comedown?” She questioned.

“It was always gonna happen with me with opiates.” He said bluntly. “I only say this in case people relate to it, but like, when I was younger, I kind of used to dream about being sedated. And unfortunately, sex, drugs, other things, religion, I’ve loved all these things in my life but they’ve never just-” He clicked his fingers, “turned it off. And unfortunately, when I tried those drugs, I – temporarily, for a moment – had that. And I was like, right, this is gonna help. And erm,” He picked at his nail anxiously. “It just takes your shine off, slows you down. Makes you lie, which is a nightmare for somebody who is so Mr Tell The Truth.”

“The lies are what got you caught?”

He made a noise of contemplation. “The problem is… I’m very, very lucky, is what I am. And I have an infrastructure around me of like… we’ve been a band since we were fourteen, I’m twenty-nine, right.” He said with a pointed look in her direction. “We’re like brothers, we love each other. I have amazing opportunities like this,” He gestured around the studio, “I have my health, I have all these things. There’s not a lot of people around me who allow stuff like… hard drug use. And that’s really annoying when you’re a drug addict. But it also makes you reflect, you know what I mean? Because you just end up lying, and being a version of yourself that- but that’s part of the sickness. You incentivise things weirdly.” He explained with a shrug.

“And the rehab centre you went to was in Barbados?” She asked. He nodded in response. “I heard that the band paid for that?”

His expression visibly softened when she brought that up. “Yeah. I think the nice story was that uh… Obviously, I’m in a fortunate place in my career that - obviously I have to think about those kind of financial things - but before I went I was kind of thinking ‘I’ll sort that out when I’m out there’ and then I remember saying to Jamie ‘oh-‘ and he was like ‘aw nah, nah, it’s all sorted’ and I was like ‘Oh, how much did it - what was it?’ and he was like ‘oh, well we just did it out the band’ and I was like ‘oh really??’ “ He seemed visibly touched by this story, even retelling it now.

“That was pretty amazing of them to do.”

“Yeah… Yeah, it was.” He muttered, still clearly caught up in his own thoughts. “And you know what, if you want a band to last forever, share.” He added simply.

“And this place you went to, supposedly they do a bunch of stuff with horses?” She asked in confusion. When she had heard this information, she was almost certain she had gotten her wires crossed, but Matty was already confirming what she had said.

“Equine therapy, yeah! It was, basically…” He started trying to explain, before cracking a smile and looking across to her. “In reality what it was, for the first two or three days was me stood in a field rolling my eyes next to a horse.” He said with a laugh. “That’s what it was really. This guy put me in a field with a horse and was like ‘talk to the horse’ so I’m like” He gave a sarcastic look, “ ‘…all right?’ So, he leaves me alone and I’m like ‘hey man’ and the horse obviously didn’t say anything.” She couldn’t help but laugh at the image. “And then he put me in the round pen, right. He put me in this pen which was just round – was a good explanation of it.” He reprimanded himself with a snort. “And I stood in the middle, and basically he said ‘I want you to walk towards the horse. It’s gonna send the horse around in a loop, and I want you to assert your position. You’re not going to get the horse. You’re just telling the horse that this is where you’re going’. All this stuff. So, I do it. And he goes ‘you’ll notice three things, at one point the horse will dip its head, then it’ll bow its ear to you, then it’ll start biting its lips. Once it’s done these three things, I want you to turn your back and drop the rope.’ So, I’m like right, lips, thing, do this, yep. And the horse is running, the horse is running, I watched for these three cues, and I dropped the rope and I turned round. The horse stopped dead.” He clapped his hands together for emphasis, staring at her seriously.

“I swear to you, it was one of the most profound moments of my life. The horse stopped dead, came over to me and stood behind me – and this is a horse that for three days had mugged me off. And I was… stood there with this horse, that now… wanted to be with me?” He seemed entirely perplexed by this. “Then when I walked it wouldn’t cross my feet,” He gestured to his feet as he said this, knocking his microphone in the process. “Sorry, I keep hitting the microphone. Way too gesticulated today. Erm, when I went into the field and hung out with it, it wanted to be with me. And then I stood there and was like ‘Ah… Right…’ Then all of these profound things… It was so…” He tried his best to find the words. “It ate everything it needed to eat, and didn’t complain about it, and didn’t eat too much of it, and ate the right stuff. It had the ability to destroy anything it wanted, but the desire to hurt nothing. It was physically perfect and strong. It was forgiving with its time with me. And it was kind of compassionate in a way, ‘cause he’s a horse, he doesn’t want me there, he just wants to be a horse. But he let me be there.” It was abundantly clear how much of an impact this experience had on Matty. He spoke about it so passionately that it was hard not to feel moved by what he was saying. “I found myself envying all of these human qualities in a horse. And I think that was the point of it…” He said with a look of finality. “At least, I hope that was the point of it. Otherwise I’ve screwed it up and learned nothing.” He laughed loudly. “But it worked for me.”

“How are you finding it? Being off the drugs?” She asked, leaning back in her seat after having been leant forward in interest for the last few minutes as he told his story.

He pulled a face as he tried to answer that in a manner suitable for a mass radio audience. “I mean… I wouldn’t say I’m this ‘beacon of sobriety’ “ He punctuated that with air quotes, “that’s kind of, telling you how it is to be an ex addict. I don’t know.” He answered sincerely. “I’ve not gone long enough. I’m not gonna start talking about ‘I haven’t done drugs in five years - ten years’ it was only a few months ago. I was still doing loads of them.” He said as he scratched at his neck.

“Is it harder now without them?”

“I don’t sleep as good as I used to with it, but I’m getting by.” He replied with a nod. “I’m all right with sleeping now. The band and my girlfriend have been really supportive and helpful. I’m doing all the things now that I used to do when I took drugs all the time. So, I’ve just made a record without doing it all the time,” He ticked that off on a finger, “so that was an experience, that was a challenge. I’ve now started touring without doing it all the time,” He ticked that off as well, “that’s an experience, that’s a challenge. I’m now about to start getting on planes all the time and touring internationally,” He added that to the list, “that’ll be a challenge. But you’ve just gotta take it day by day as the cliché says, or you’ll freak yourself out.”

“You talk about drugs pretty freely in your music, but you don’t really speak about it in interviews, was that to try and stay… disconnected from it to some degree? Did you think it was going to get as bad as it did?” She asked. She had entirely tuned out of the fan questions being sent in now, asking these questions almost purely from her own curiosity to know what had happened to the Matty she knew.

“No, no, no… I didn’t. I mean, I think the thing that I think I always have confidence in is that because I’ve – regardless of if it’s drugs or relationships - the main thing I’ve done with The 1975 is spoken about myself with kind of quite a profound disdain.” He answered. “There’s not really been a celebration of the behaviour. I think that if I was ever romanticising or fetishizing the use of drugs, I think I’d catch myself doing it. And if I ever have done that in a lyric, it will be immediately met with a lyric that shows that one up to be ironic or flawed.” He elaborated. That made sense. Most of his songs did reflect that attitude. “I’ve just had to be honest. Religion allows you to kind of give something away, sex, exactly the same thing. They’re just ways of giving up some kind of responsibility in the moment. But by that point I’d done ‘em all!” He grinned, still trying to keep the mood light despite the heavy topic. “Drugs was the only one left.”

She stared at him for a moment, just taking in all of the information he’d given her in such a short timeframe. It was a lot to process all at once, but it made a lot of the pieces click into place and answered a lot of questions that had kept her up at night when they had lost contact. Eventually she clocked back into reality, seeing that he was watching her just as intently as she had been watching him while he had divulged some of the most intimate aspects of his life.

“So, to a lighter note-” She segued.

“It’s fine, I don’t mind talking about it.” He said with a chuckle.

She smiled back at him, “I’m sure our listeners have enjoyed hearing it all in such great detail. But, there are some other big events that have been happening in your life as well that we haven’t brought up.” She said.

“Oh?”

“The 1975 will be headlining Reading and Leeds next year.”

“Yes!” He beamed. “It’s our first big headline festival. It gets me proper emotional. We didn’t just go as kids, after I got to thirteen, Christmas took a back seat and the date on my calendar was Reading and Leeds. I went one year with a tenner and no tent. I mean, I’ve had some moments there. It’ll definitely be a very humble show. All of this ego and confidence here will be gone.” He scoffed, “ ‘Honestly guys, thanks so much for coming.’ ” He said in a feigned blubbering emotional voice, before giggling at himself. “But like, we’ve just become a really good band in my opinion. I think we could headline Reading and Leeds tomorrow if you asked us to.”

“Are you particularly excited to have content off the new album to perform there?”

“Definitely. There are some songs on there that will be added into the festival setlists. It was about creating a distillation of what preceded it. Everything needed to be better, more extreme. Poppy bits poppier, heavy bits heavier, honest bits more honest.” He explained with a nod. “You can look at your work and be like ‘what did I do there that someone likes’ or ‘let’s try and do that piano thing’. Me, when I’m like, really personal, really honest, that’s when I get the best reaction. So, I just tend to do that. Like what’s gonna make me, y’know-“ He started pretending to tear up for emphasis.

“And you guys are already working on the next album, Notes on a Conditional Form? This one’s not even out yet!”

He just laughed. “We went away and what happened was, we finished A Brief Inquiry, kind of had a week off and then we started with Notes. I’m just letting it happen.” He shrugged. “I’m letting it happen in the next six months. It’ll be before…” He seemed to be doing some calculations in his head. “August. It has to be in time for Reading and Leeds.” He added decisively.

Glancing down at the clock on the screen next to her, she could see that they had in fact gone over time. “Well, as always Matty, it’s been lovely having you on the show, but I think we have to wrap it up so you can scoot over to the live lounge and get yourself set up.” She said with a small sigh, disappointed that the interview had to end after how well it had been going. Matty had felt entirely captivating as he spoke today, clearly on his game.

“God, this’ll be the first time we’ve played together in… ages.” He said as he pulled a hand through his hair and leaned back into his chair. “And we’ve not played these songs live yet, either. This will be the debut.”

“Incredibly exciting.” She nodded. “So, I’ll let you go. Tune in folks in half an hour, The 1975 will be playing a short set for us of songs from their new album, A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships, in the live lounge.” She spoke into the microphone, before rounding out the interview.

Matty didn’t move from his chair across from her as she switched the camera feed off and switched over to the next round of tracks.

“Are you coming?” He asked as soon as she took her headset off. “To the live lounge?” He clarified.

Her shift was meant to end in just over twenty minutes, and they started in thirty. She could probably finish up quickly enough to make it down there in time. “Yeah, I can do that.” She said with a nod.

He grinned eagerly, “It’ll be wicked to have you there for it.”

“It’s probably about time I saw you guys play.” She laughed as he stood up.

“I’ll see you shortly.” He said over his shoulder as he made his way out of the studio.

* * *

By the time she made her way down to the live lounge quite a crowd had already formed. Her handover between shifts had been fairly rushed in an attempt to get out of there quickly, but obviously The 1975 knew how to draw an audience. She managed to squeeze her way through a few crew members to get a decent enough viewing point. Whenever she caught Matty’s gaze, he waved at her excitedly. She waved back, suddenly feeling a bout of nerves at the thought of finally watching him in action. Once the cameras were set up and all of the equipment had done one final round of checks, they launched into quite a boppy first song. She recognised this instantly as Tootime, as it had been her favourite of the singles that were released. He sounded a bit rusty and raw, which thankfully he could cover with the filter over his voice, but his enthusiasm to be performing again was unmistakable. The looks he was throwing to his band were nothing short of ecstatic, and despite being out of practice they played the song flawlessly. They finished up the first song, and he shrugged off his yellow jacket as they changed their gear over for the next two. Their little live set was only three songs long in the end, but they felt It’s Not Living and Sincerity Is Scary were excellent choices to best get across the vibe of the new album. After seeing what they could do in a tiny room with minimal fanfare, she was suddenly kicking herself for never getting out to one of their live shows.

When they had wrapped up the set, Matty started packing away his gear before seeing her starting to leave. He quickly dropped what he was doing and called out to her to wait up. She turned to face him, as he suddenly realised that he hadn’t worked out what to actually say. “Look, I’m sorry about… how I’ve been lately.” He eventually settled on.

“It’s okay, you were going through a rough time.” She reassured him.

“I was,” He nodded, “but it’s not really an excuse.” He added with a sigh. “Can I take you out to lunch after this? To apologise properly.” He asked with a hopeful look.

“You don’t have to-” She started, before he interrupted.

“I know I don’t have to - I want to.” He corrected. She considered this offer for a moment. “Please?”

“Sure.” She nodded, trying to conceal her smile. “That’d be nice.”

She waited patiently as he packed up his gear, feeling slightly awkward for loitering around a studio that wasn’t hers while she watched everyone else clear out. Once everything seemed fairly put away, he exchanged a quiet word with the band and walked over to where she was standing.

“Any preferences for where we eat? It’s your apology lunch, after all.” He said as he slipped his jacket back on.

She grimaced at his choice of words. “Don’t say it like that.”

“Why?” He laughed.

“It makes me feel worse than I already do.”

“Suppose we’ll just feel bad together, then.” He said as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and ushered her back out of the building. She couldn’t deny, it felt nice to be seeing Matty act more like he had when they’d first met. Whether that was because she enjoyed the attention or because it was nice to see her friend feeling more himself was up for debate.

Due to neither of them being the one to want to make the call about where to eat, for fear of the other not enjoying it, they ended up going to the only place that served food within their direct eyeline – a bakery. It made her feel less like she was taking advantage too for him to only have to pay for pastries and coffee, not a proper fancy meal with drinks. They caught each other up on the fine points of their lives that they’d missed out on hearing over the last few years: highlights in careers, people who’d come and gone, other artists they’d met that had proved to be noteworthy (for good reasons and bad). It was incredibly reassuring for the both of them to know that conversation still flowed easily enough between them when they weren’t actively disliking each other.

“Sorry if the interview was a bit… too personal. We didn’t really talk about the record all that much, in the end.” She said, thinking back to how long they’d spent discussing his drug habits rather than his impending album release.

“Stop apologising.” He said around a mouthful of food. “I’m the one who’s supposed to be saying sorry. And I’m sure the fans would’ve liked it.” He shrugged.

“Yeah, but I don’t want to force stuff out of you for the sake of entertainment.”

“Like I said, I wouldn’t have answered if I didn’t want to.” He reminded her.

He waited a beat, composing what he had originally wanted to say today before clearing his throat. “I really am sorry, you know. For how I left things.” He said as he stared down into his mug of tea.

“It’s genuinely okay, Matty.” She reassured him. “I wasn’t really any better.” She added under her breath.

“I was just a bit oblivious and hopeful when I fucked stuff up initially. I wanted to act like I hadn’t dropped off your radar for two years.” He admitted as he scratched at the side of his head. “If I’m honest, I was reaching out to get some support from an old mate in a time when I felt pretty overwhelmed by everything that was happening. But I went about it in all the wrong ways and just made it a whole lot worse.” He clarified with a dry laugh. As if she hadn’t already felt bad enough, now he tells her that she’d shut him out when he had been trying to ask for help? The guilt increased tenfold.

“Sorry.” She said. He was about to tell her off again for apologising, but she cut him off. “I was already pretty shitty that I hadn’t seen you in so long, so I was pretty quick to want to end that interaction when things started getting… difficult.” She explained.

“Guess you live and learn, huh?” He said with a small smile. “At least we’re still mates now.” Hearing him say that helped ease a bit of her worry that she’d done as much to fuck things up as he had. At least now that it was all out in the open, they could move past it.

“Yeah.” She concurred, returning his smile. They finished up the pastries that Matty had bought before stepping out of the bakery. Both of them felt like a weight had been lifted now that they knew they hadn’t screwed stuff up for good between them. Having each said their piece, they were pretty confident that they could give friendship another shot.

“It was great to see you.” He said as he pulled her in for a hug tight enough that it almost made her lose her breath.

“Next time we’ll have to make sure it’s not so long.” She said as he moved back from the hug.

“We’ll keep in touch.” He agreed with a nod. “And I mean it this time.”

Taglist: @imagine-that-100 @ghostlightqueen @tooshhhy @robinrunsfiction @approved-by-dentists

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#Matthew Healy x Reader #Matty Healy x Reader #Sunsetinymvein

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randomfandomimagine · 5 years ago

Text

Kind (Jesse Pinkman x Reader)

Characters: Jesse Pinkman

Fandom: Breaking Bad

Tags: Reader Insert, Female Reader

Warnings: Sad, dark, mature, drug mention, swearing, abusive home

Word Count: 1,5k words

Requested by @im-just-star-dust: Hi, could u write about how Jesse finds a girl while at the methheads house from season 2? He befriends her and the little boy, and takes them to his house. Both children are almost mutes, so jesse teaches them how to speak, write and read. The girl trusts jesse since hes the only one whos nice to her other then her brother. The two form a close friendship, and soon a sort of unspoken romance.

A/N: This is my first BB/Jesse writing, yay! I shortened and changed your original request a bit to fit, but I hope you still like! Thank you again for requesting :)

A knock at the door interrupted your crying. Looking at your little brother, you waited and listened. The knocking continued, so you stood from the bed. Trying not to scare him, you smiled and stroked his head.

“Stay here, sweetie” You whispered, to which he only nodded. Honestly, you weren’t expecting him to talk after that long.

Silently leaving the room and closing the door behind you, you stood in the livingroom. A figure moved slowly amongst the mess that was the floor. You were done trying to tidy it up, because the next day you found it worse than when you started.

“Yo!” The man shouted, and you sneakily moved to grab the bat leaning against the door. “Anybody home?”

You noticed he wielded something in his hands before him, so you tried to take him by surprise. Emerging from the shadows, you swung your bat and knocked the gun out of his hands.

“Shit!” He muttered, covering his head once he was left unarmed.

It wasn’t the first time someone broke into your house, and while sometimes they would just get whatever they wanted and run, they had never blatantly called out asking if someone was home.

��Wait, wait!” The young man begged you. “I wasn’t gonna use it! Yo, drop the bat! I’m not gonna hurt you!”

You breathed heavily, but decided to leave off him. Not that you liked hurting people anyway. You backed off, still kicking the gun away from his reach. He didn’t try to retrieve it.

Taking a better look at him, you realized he wasn’t that much older than you. He wore lose clothes and a beanie. His fair blue eyes studied you, and you averted your gaze, uncomfortable with his scrutiny.

“Uh...” He rubbed his shoulder, there where you had hit him. “Your folks home?”

You shook your head, still glancing at the ground. Honestly, you preferred to be home alone. At least that way you could have some peace and quiet. Even if the overwhelming helplessness never left you.

“When will they be back?” The young man tried again, but you only shrugged. “Okay, uh... Yo, what’s your name?”

You didn’t reply, holding on to the bat so tightly that your hands hurt.

“I’m... My name’s Jesse” He awkwardly told you. “Mind if I wait here?”

He got no reply from you, not even a gesture or a glance. Jesse sighed.

“You, uh...” Moving slowly, he reached out to take the bat from your hands. “You won’t need that, I promise”

You whimpered as soon as he came close, so he immediately backed away again. Holding his hands up, he apologized to you.

“Sorry! Keep it if you want, you...” His eyes looked you up and down again. “Jesus...”

When you looked up at him to see what had alarmed him, you saw him taking his hoodie off. When he handed it to you, you were reminded of the clothes you were wearing. Old, tattered and literally falling to pieces.

“Take it” He insisted, still not walking any closer. “It’s okay”

Timorous, you reached out to take it, being careful not to brush your hand against his. You put the hoodie on and found a great comfort in it. It was too big for you, but it was almost new. And it was warm and cozy.

“I’ll just...” He awkwardly fixed his yellow shirt, which was also big and loose. “I’ll sit over there”

You watched him as he went to sit on the couch. Just then, the door to the room opened and your little brother came out. Instinctively, you went to hug him against your stomach.

“Man...” Jesse mumbled with a sigh. “Want me to call someone?”

You could read it in his eyes, the meaning behind his words. He didn’t really want to say it in front of the kid, but... He didn’t mean just someone. The cops. He was already pulling his phone out of his pocket when you loudly whimpered.

He immediately looked up at you, noticing the panicked expression in your face. Pressing your brother tighter against you, you shook your head at Jesse.

“Oh” He muttered, peering at the two of you. “Right... I... Shouldn’t do that, huh?”

You nodded, slightly calmer seeing as he didn’t want you to be apart either. If the cops came, you would be put in a foster’s home. And they would separate you. You didn’t want to leave your brother alone after everything your parents put you through. He was too little anyway.

Gasping, you felt your brother escaping out of your grasp. However, instead of trying to hurt him, Jesse just curiously watched him as he went to turn the TV on.

That stupid knife program was on again, like always. The only thing you could ever watch. Your brother walked to the couch, too naive to be scared of a stranger. Hurrying to protect him, you sat down in the couch and put your brother on your lap. Your arms protectively fell around him.

Jesse, at the other end of the couch, stared at you. With the corner of your eye, you recognized the empathy in his gaze.

“Yo, I, uh...” He began to say. “I just have some stuff to sort out with your folks, and then I’ll go”

Still wary about him, you eyed him carefully. A friendly smile appeared on his face. You couldn’t remember the last time you saw someone genuinely smile, let alone yourself. It was... uplifting.

“I know you don’t even know me, but... You could come with me and I’ll try to help you out” His voice was so kind and gentle that it brought tears to your eyes.

Only bad people had ever come to your house. Thiefs, addicts, dangerous people. Ones that didn’t want anything to do with you, and if they did it was to get a hit. To make a deal with your parents.

“I mean, I get it if you don’t want to” He continued, still keeping the distances. “But man, fu... eff your parents”

You continued to be quiet and check on your brother. He didn’t pay attention to the conversation, absently watching the TV.

“No?” Jesse gently insisted. “That’s okay... I get it”

Tears suddenly welled up in your eyes. You couldn’t exactly tell why, you were just overwhelmed.

“I...” Jesse’s head whipped towards you at the sound of your voice. “Y/N”

“What?”

“Name’s Y/N”

“Yo... Good to meet you, Y/N”

He offered his hand, still bearing a smile. You dared to take it. Gently, he shook your hand. He didn’t hurt you. You tried to hold back your sobs, not wanting to worry your brother. It was difficult, since you had been holding in for literal years. And now that someone showed you a hint of compassion and kindness, you crumbled.

“Hey...” Jesse whispered, gingerly putting a hand on your shoulder. “It’s okay”

You sniffed as silently as you could, being strangely comforted by his hand kindly rubbing your arm.

“Y/N” He softly told you. “How ‘bout I buy you a burger after, huh?”

You gawked at him, the tears freezing in your eyes. Was he really that nice?

“Yeah! As soon as I talk with your folks, I’ll take you and your lil bro to have a bite” He smiled to reassure you. “Whatcha say?”

You nodded your head, feeling excited for the first time in forever. Going out, eating a warm delicious burger. It sounded so good.

“Yeah? Cool” Jesse squeezed your arm before letting go of you, and you found yourself missing his comforting touch. “We’ll just-”

He was interrupted when the door opened. The noise, as usual, brought a pit in your stomach. The loud voices had returned. Jesse tensed up as well.

“Hide in your room, and take the kid” He urged you, kindly tugging at the fabric of the hoodie. “Trust me, c’mon”

Knowing what business your parents got up to, you stood from the couch, carrying your brother. Not entirely sure what would happen, though, you lingered.

“Go, I won’t hurt them, I promise” He nodded his head to the side, and you knew that’s where the gun was left forgotten. “That thing’s empty”

“J-Jesse...” You stuttered, hesitant to leave.

“Wait for me, ‘kay?” He warmly smiled. “I owe you a burger”

You nibbled on your bottom lip, truly hoping he was as kind as he seemed to be.

After all, he had respected your space. Didn’t force you to talk, avoided swearing in front of your brother, gave you his hoodie and even tried to comfort you. You really wanted to believe in his kindness, so you did as he said and returned to your room.

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#rfi writings #breaking bad #jesse pinkman x reader #bb #jesse pinkman #reader insert #requested #ficlet #breaking bad ficlet #bb ficlet #jesse pinkman ficlet #jesse pinkman imagine #faves

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halequeenjas · 4 years ago

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New Pals || Remmy & Jasmine

TIMING: Before Remmy found out about Lydia PARTIES: @whatsin-yourhead & @halequeenjas SUMMARY: After chatting online, Jasmine invites Remmy out for some wine and jazz.

As a self proclaimed woman of the people, Jasmine decided to make Remmy her new project. Something about the way they spoke just didn’t scream confidence and they had no reason to not be overflowing with self love from what she could discern. Surely, with a bit of her brand of uplifting, Remmy would be confident as hell in no time. It took a little coaxing, but she had convinced them to join her for an evening at her favorite lounge. It was a weeknight, so it would be pretty low key and they always did some nice smooth jazz on Wednesdays. Perfect for getting to know a new friend and for dawning the brand new burnt orange dress she got to put herself in the fall spirit. When she saw Remmy approach, she smiled brightly and greeted, “Remmy, hi!” She waved and indicated for them to join her at one of the lounge couches near the stage. “I didn’t order anything yet since I figured I’d get something we’d both enjoy. You prefer red, white, or rose?”

Jasmine seemed like a nice woman, and Remmy had a hard time saying no. It didn’t take too much and Remmy had agreed to meet up with her, at least to have drinks. It wasn’t lost on them that it didn’t matter what they drank, but they weren’t going for that, anyway. Meeting new people was always a plus, so really, they had nothing to lose here. When they got there, they hesitated outside the doors a moment, running their should-have-been-sweaty hands down the front of the nicest pair of jeans they’d been able to find. The ones with no holes, at least. Morgan had let them borrow a nicer blouse, buttoned up to the neck, with a nice jacket over it. They almost looked normal like this. Fiddling with the zipper on the jacket, they finally went inside, hands digging deep holes into their pockets in an effort to stop the twitching. They scurried over when they saw Jasmine wave, only then taking out their hands to wave back. “H-hey!” they said, sitting quickly, “hi. S-sorry I was a little late, long walk from where I live. Um, I-- I don’t mind either way? I was never really a big wine drinker, so you can pick.” Or drinker at all, not that it mattered anymore.

It was almost endearing that Remmy seemed to have a certain hesitance about them when they spoke. Jasmine would work on that. Hell, they sure cleaned up nicely not that she really had much to go off. Compliments were a great way to boost self esteem which was part of her mission here, so she brightly said, “I love that outfit on you. That jacket really ties the whole look together. You look great!” She meant as much, it wasn’t like she was exactly great at lying when she did bother with it. She usually didn’t unless someone had asked her questions about the supernatural. It was much better to avoid being the town freak. She nodded and supposed she’d go with her favorite Hanzell Estate Pinot Noir. She flashed the waiter a wide smile as she asked for the bottle and two glasses. She decided to live a little tonight and go for the cheese platter, too. “Well, I went with a red. Even if you don’t love wine, this one is super smooth and has a bit of an oaky finish that I really enjoy.” As they waited for the wine, she opted to get to know Remmy a little bit better, “So how long have you lived here? I know we didn’t really do the whole get to know each other better chat online, but I much prefer these kinds of talk in person anyway.”

“Oh, it’s, I--” Remmy stuttered. If they could flush, they would have, but zombie anatomy saved them the embarrassment of that this time. Clearing their throat, they smoother their hands down the front of their jeans and looked over at Jasmine. “Sounds perfect!” they said when she told them about the wine, though they really had no idea what any of that meant. Not that it mattered, they wouldn’t be able to taste it anyway. Their face fell at the thought-- they didn’t like lying to people, especially someone as nice as Jasmine. But would she even believe them if they tried to tell her? Swallowing, they tried to smile back over at her. “Here? Oh, um...almost a year. I moved here around November last year for a job. What, um, what about you?” A small nod. “No, yeah-- I, uh-- I prefer in person, too. It feels, you know...more real? N-not that online stuff isn’t real! I just mean like, it feels more-- nice? Like, it’s easier to read people in person and stuff. See their face and reactions.”

As sweet as it was, Jasmine mentally noted they’d need to work on Remmy’s ability to accept a compliment. Maybe they just didn’t receive enough of them and needed to be a little desensitized. She supposed she’d have to figure it out over time. That was how this sort of thing usually worked. They seemed far more easy going than she was and was happy with whatever wine she ordered. When it came to wine, Jasmine always had an opinion. Actually, that was true of most things. “Perfect, well, this one is nice and one of my favorites.” There was something nicer about in person interactions. She’d always been what one would call a social butterfly and she loved the energy of being around people. “Oh, I totally agree! In person is way better. I get what you mean, you get a better feel for people in person and I for one, love hanging out with people.” Her smile was wide and bright as the wine arrived. With both their glasses poured, she raised hers up for a toast. “Cheers to new friends.” They were still getting to know each other, but she had the feeling she’d like Remmy. “So, tell me a little bit about yourself. Where’d you grow up? What do you love to do in your free time?”

“If it’s one of your favorites, it’s probably good, then,” Remmy agreed with a smile. And while they’d never be able to taste the difference, they were sure the statement was true. Jasmine had an energy about her that made Remmy believe everything she said, and feel, perhaps, just a little bit lighter from her words. “Yeah, me too. I’ve always been social, even if I was a little uh-- nervous or awkward. I just...like people, I guess,” the agreed, rubbing the back of their head as if slightly embarrassed by the admission. When the drinks came, they took their glass gratefully and raised it up to Jasmine’s. “To new friends,” they agreed with an easy smile. Took a sip before setting it down. The wine made their tongue feel dry, but it was tasteless, just like everything else. “Uh, well-- I grew up in Rock Springs, Wyoming. It’s a small town than this, if you can believe it. Just a few hours outside of Cheynne. And mostly I um...just like making things. I uh, really like tinkering with mechanical stuff. And mechanical design. What um-- what about you?”

They may have only just met, but Jasmine smiled that Remmy could already tell she had good taste. It was something she prided herself on and she liked that it was apparent. Looking at her wardrobe alone was typically enough to indicate good taste. It was nice that Remmy was able to see this in her. She swirled her wine around her glass and looked to them. “Oh, I totally understand that,” she said with a waving hand motion as her hand fell back to her lap, “I’ve always loved being social, too. I don’t see anything wrong with nerves or feeling awkward, hell, even I feel awkward sometimes. It’s nice that you like people. More people could use that sort of energy in their life and be nicer if you ask me.” The subtle differences in their body languages really highlighted their differing levels of confidence. Where Remmy rubbed the back of their neck, Jasmine sat tall with one hand comfortably at her side and another holding her wine glass. It was cute in its own way, but she wanted her new friend to feel comfortable in her presence. They’d get there. She listened as Remmy spoke, leaning forward to indicate her interest in what Remmy had to say. “Wyoming, huh? I’ve never been myself. I grew up here. Mechanical stuff? You must be smart then. That kind of stuff goes over my head. I tend to enjoy interior design as far as productive hobbies go. Makes for nicely staged homes for real estate purposes, too. Outside of that I enjoy fashion, fine dining, and wine a lot. Any form of pampering is also nice.”

“Yeah, tell me about it,” Remmy grinned with a soft chuckle. They weren’t always the most observative, but they could tell Jasmine’s genuine interest in the things they were saying, and it helped them relax a bit more. Leaning forward as well, hands tight in their lap still, they gave a shrug. “It’s uh-- not that worth visiting. At least, not where I grew up. Lotta people like to go there to see Yellowstone, cause that’s really all there is there.” They smiled again, taking another sip of the wine. They wondered what it actually tasted like. “And uh, yeah. Mechanical stuff. I um-- really wanna design airplanes. I don’t know why, I just think they’re...so cool, you know? That someone actually figured out how to make something fly. I wanna do that, too.” They listened to Jasmine’s descriptions of what she liked and found them at almost opposite ends of the spectrum, and yet, they felt as if they already liked her enough to take interest in them. “Real estate? Do you work in that field? I don’t know much about any of that at all. Hell, I don't think I’ve ever even been to a spa or fine dining place…”

It was good to see that Remmy seemed to be relaxing a bit around her. Jasmine prided herself on being a natural social butterfly who could turn any social situation into a positive one and she believed it was working well with Remmy. They seemed to be enjoying themselves which was important. “I’ll admit, Yellowstone doesn’t sound quite like my normal vacation destinations. I’m not too big on the great outdoors. I like a nice view as much as anyone else, but prefer it from like a deck or rooftop or something.” The thought of not being able to wear her best pair of Louboutins on vacation was simply atrocious and she doubted she’d ever make it to Wyoming. She listened intently as Remmy spoke of mechanical engineering. It was all a little over her head, but she enjoyed flying and people needed to make said planes work. She took another sip of her wine before nodding along. “Huh, that’s pretty cool. Totally way over my head, but I do love airplanes… more from like the business class perspective, but still love them. Is this something you’re going to school for? I’ve heard pretty good things about UMWC.” Pursuing interests was definitely something that gave people purpose and confidence. Jasmine was almost positive it would help them and lead to a very fulfilled life for them. So she’d encourage it and pull some strings where she could. She smiled brightly and answered them, “Yes, I work in real estate. Best realtor in town depending on who you’re asking. I’ve been working in the field since I was 19, so I know the town and my stuff. If you’re ever looking for a home, I’m your girl. Wait, you’ve never been to a spa or had fine dining? We’re so changing that. I have to take you to The Artesian!”

“That’s fair,” Remmy nodded, giving a short smile, “it’s not for everyone. I don’t mind the outdoors, it always felt comforting, you know? Not as much noise. I never really did good with...crowds.” They looked around before settling back on Jasmine, listening to her talk. “Oh, yeah, it’s um-- I did send in an application, but I’m not sure if I made it in yet. I think they send out letters in late October, though,” they answered, a bit shyly. “We’ll see if I get in.” They fussed with the stem of the glass, tracing the bottom rim of it. “Real estate is a cool job, I’ve heard. I definitely could never be a realtor, though. I’m really bad at talking to people and convincing them to do stuff. Or, you know...drop hundreds of thousands of dollars on a house. But, uh-- thanks, but I’ve got a really nice place right now with someone. Well...I live with her. She’s a good woman.” They said, smiling fondly at the thought of Lydia and the home they’d made together. “What? Oh-- oh, n-no, that’s okay! You don’t have to do that for me! R-really. I just...it’s just not ever something I’ve done, but it’s fine, really!”

“Less noise, but more bugs… which really really aren’t my thing,” Jasmine said with a laugh, “But I get liking the quiet. I just prefer my quiet in a hot bath with a glass of wine and a good book.” She missed the days when said books were trashy romance novels and not books on ghosts, ancient languages, or other equally as terrifying crap. All of which was necessary if she wanted to live to see another bubble bath that allowed her some more leisurely reading time. Her face lit up with excitement as Remmy mentioned they had recently put in an application at the University. “That’s amazing,” she exclaimed happily, “I, for one, am totally rooting for you and think a toast for good luck is basically required.” She lifted her glass again. “To following your dreams!” There was nothing she loved more than a good toast. She was mentally already preparing a toast for Remmy’s inevitable graduation. Somehow Remmy was going after this big brain-y ambition and they were praising her work. She laughed a bit and said, “And I could never successfully tinker with things. I pay people to do that. Everyone has their thing. Yours just happens to be more brains than charm. Real estate is more about finding people who are looking for homes or selling their homes and steering them in the right direction. Clearly, the right direction is me because I know my stuff and I’m a great sales woman. I am glad to hear your living situation is great.” It was easy to smile as she leaned back into her seat and watched as Remmy spoke. “I know I don’t have to. I just want to. You seem like a good person and I like being good to good people.”

“Oh, see, there’s like...zero bugs in Wyoming. It gets to cold for most of them most of the year,” Remmy said with a little sideways grin. “Even up in Yellowstone.” They would have blushed were they able to when Jasmine exclaimed her excitement for them. They barely knew each other, but she was so genuinely happy. It was nice to meet someone like this again. Remmy felt like they’d just been running into shit person after shit person lately, letting them take advantage of their kindness, their heart. But Jasmine felt light and happy. They grinned, clinking glasses. “Th-thanks. I um...I’ve always liked tinkering with things like that. And like, drawing them out. It took me a bit to figure out I could really do something with it, though. A lot of my friends here have sort of um...encouraged me to find my path.” They rubbed their hands together between their legs again. “It’s, um...I mean, really...I-I don’t really know how to like...accept that. Just for, nothing. So, really, it’s okay! You don’t have to.

“You know, that I can actually be down with. Except for maybe the too cold part. As cute as my winter clothes are, I’m definitely more of a summer girl,” Jasmine said enthusiastically, “Although hot tubs in the winter paired with some bubbly are a great time.” There was something about Remmy that Jasmine found intriguing. They were about as different as two people could be and lived in almost entirely different worlds outside the fact they were both in the crazy town that was White Crest. Still, there was a certain genuine nature that Remmy possessed and she found she enjoyed it. It was different from her own brand of blunt honesty, but was still refreshing. It made her that much more inclined to be supportive of their dream. “Everyone figures out things in their own time. It’s great that you’re going after what you love. I, for one, am very eager to see where it gets you and am glad you have encouragement.” It went a long way. Without her aunt, she wasn’t sure she would have ever found her path after disconnecting with her parents. Their body language still seemed a bit nervous so she opted to tone down the enthusiasm just a bit. Instead, she shrugged lightly and said, “Well, if you say so. I’d still like to hang out again some time. Your pick next time.” Hopefully it wouldn’t involve anything too strenuous like hiking though her hiking outfit was pretty adorable. Either way, Jasmine was happy to make a new friend who was seemingly normal and good in a town that was anything but.

#wickedswriting #remmy #new pals

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mkw-raider · 4 years ago

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Fire Ch.2

Summary: Chloe continues using the Turtle Miraculous on a trial run while she tries to prove herself.

Chapter 2/4 - We’ll Keep On Rising, It Leaves Me Aching To See Those Eyes

Pairing: Chloe/Marinette

AO3 First - Next - Previous - Last

A week and a half into her trial run found Chloé still feeling like she was a temporary holder waiting for Ladybug to take the miraculous away from her. There had been six akumas since Chat had told her Ladybug was trusting his judgement and giving her a trial run, but Chloé had only fought four of them.

Interactions with Ladybug had so far been neutral at best, and awkward at worst. The first akuma she had tried to fight, Ladybug had just looked at her before asking her to keep civilians away and safe. The second akuma, she had gotten in a few hits, and blocked plenty with her shield, but had no reason to use Shellter. Ladybug had nodded after the battle but still didn’t speak to her. The third akuma had struck while Chloé was at a public event with her father and she couldn’t slip away from him to transform. The fourth akuma was when Chloé felt her interactions with Ladybug shift from awkward to neutral after she had apologized for her absence and Ladybug had just told her to be there when she could, but she understood not being able to hide from civilian life. Their battle conversations weren’t as playful as Ladybug and Chat’s, but it had progressed to more than just silence and little acknowledgement. The fifth battle had actually been a step back for her place on the team after a particularly strong akuma had surprised her and thrown her through a building. Even with the miraculous cure, Chloé had still been sore the next day. After a rookie mistake that led to her not contributing to the fight, Chloé resolved to do more in the next fight, to give Ladybug a reason to let her continue using the Turtle, but the final akuma had the ability to corrupt people into fighting for him, and Chloé never made it to the actual akuma battle. She had spent the entire fight protecting civilians from the corrupted people, and preventing the corrupted people from doing any serious damage to themselves.

So far, she figured her performance was enough to have her expect a visit from Ladybug any moment to take the miraculous. Wayzz was helpful, and very sweet in his encouragement, so even though Chloé hadn’t wanted to get attached, losing him would probably be the worst part of the Turtle being taken from her.

Her mood the past few days had been sour enough for Sabrina to notice and ask her about it, but she just passed it off as her father being too busy to spend time with her, which was true, but was mostly something she was used to now. After Ladybug had told her the truth about her attitude, Chloé had done some serious self reflection. The end results were not uplifting. After finally convincing Sabrina to be honest with her, and a very enlightening talk with Adrien, she had come to the conclusion that she was entitled and bossy, and more often than not, a massive bitch. Nobody would say she was Mother Theresa, or that her behaviour had turned around quickly, but Sabrina had helped her notice when she was being rude and tearing others down, and she had mostly been able to stop the unnecessary comments. She wasn’t perfect obviously, and had still snapped at classmates here and there, but she was working on controlling her temper and hadn’t been the cause of a single akuma attack since. Ladybug had made her reflect on herself, and she understood she wasn’t a good person. So how could she blame Ladybug for not thinking she was good in the mask? Chloé and Queen Bee were the same person, and all of Paris knew that. Khelone, however, was nowhere close to Chloé Bourgeois, and she was trying harder than ever to ensure Ladybug could see that.

Unfortunately for Chloé’s mood, dwelling on her past mistakes had eaten up a large chunk of her time and she was now running behind schedule for school. A brief glance at her phone showed multiple messages of confusion from Sabrina and knew she had to hurry. Chloé grabbed her school bag and checked to make sure she had everything. Phone, check, handkerchief for Wayzz in case he was cold, check, school work, check, tablet, check, and container of cubed watermelon, also check. She had started bringing two containers of food to school with her, one for Wayzz to snack on when he was hungry, and one that was designated only for emergencies.

Chloé was downstairs and out the door minutes later, with Sabrina trailing behind her excitedly recounting her morning.

Fortunately for Chloé, she got to school before the bell rang. She was later than usual, which meant she and Sabrina were the last two students to enter, somehow even later than Marinette, so their arrival briefly drew the eyes of most of their classmates. Chloé kept her head high and walked to her seat, knowing their eyes were curious and not cruel and she had no reason to defend herself. Mme. Bustier still hadn’t arrived, so Chloé busied herself with setting up her school supplies and tuning into the conversations around her. So far it sounded like the normal ‘Who’s better, Ladybug Or Chat Noir?’ that the class normally debated, and while her opinion had been and always would be Ladybug, she could allow herself to argue with her classmates if anyone got too crazy on the Chat Noir side.

“Listen, remember, Algernon? Hard fight sure, but there was a lot of cool stuff done.” Kim said. He was normally team Chat because of the baton wielding, but he could be swayed for Ladybug after a practically epic fight.

Alya huffed before throwing her arms out, “Yeah but, Carapace has never had Shellter falter like that, even in his earliest fights.” And oh. Oh wow. Her class was talking about her. They were talking about Khelone versus Carapace.

Kim looked ready to argue more, but Adrien leaned forward in his seat, “I think Khelone was really cool for a first appearance. Algernon seemed strong, but she still managed to push against him despite the pressure, and it was her shield throw that really won the battle.”

Most of the class seemed to murmur in agreement, but Alya still seemed firmly team Carapace. Only Marinette and Nino currently seemed to be not taking sides, as neither of them were really looking at anyone else in the class and were instead focused on their desks.

Chloé loved Adrien, and hearing him support her in the mask was almost as sweet as when he did it for her outside of the mask, but she knew he was wrong. “Alya’s right. Carapace has never had Shellter falter before and he’s gone against a lot of tough akumas. Khelone’s throw seemed lucky, maybe Ladybug should have stuck with a real hero like Carapace.” Seeing Alya’s smug expression and Adrien’s look of betrayal almost made her wish she hadn’t spoken, but Marinette was staring directly at her now. Maybe Chloé had misjudged her not having a favourite hero, but the look in Marinette’s eyes was confusing. Chloé couldn’t place the feeling, and looked away before she could dwell on whatever the other girl was thinking. Thankfully, Chloé was saved from further thought by the appearance of Mme. Bustier and the start of class.

Chloé went through the motions of her day with as much enthusiasm as she could muster, but she couldn’t shake the feeling of Marinette’s eyes on her. They had felt calculating, like Marinette was absorbing every word she had said, but Chloé had no idea why Marinette would even care about her opinion seeing as how the other girl normally only cared what she had to say when she was defending the class from Chloé’s cruel remarks. By the end of the day, Chloé was exhausted and eager to go to a cafe with Sabrina and forget about the feeling of Marinette’s eyes on her all day.

Sabrina was taking Chloé to a cafe in the 10th arrondissement. It was a bit of a walk from the school, but it was a nice day and Chloé wanted to see the spring leaves reflecting in the Canal St. Martin. Sabrina had promised it was nice, not fancy like the places Chloé frequented, but a quiet place to work together on homework and unwind after a long day of work.

Upon their arrival, Chloé had to admit that letting Sabrina pick their location had paid off. The cafe had a light environment, and the only sound other than the whir of machines was quiet chatter from the other customers. Sabrina went to set up their table and stuff away from the doors, and Chloé went to buy them drinks and a slice of cake to eat while they worked.

Just as Chloé was beginning to settle into a rhythm of work and idle chatter, she thought her mood might finally take a turn for the better. Of course, then she had to overhear a loud argument. Standing in the door was one of the cafe workers, arguing with someone outside. Chloé didn’t know what exactly was said, but another worker joined at the door before the person outside stormed off. The two workers then had a quieter dispute, and neither looked particularly happy, until the original worker threw down their apron and left in the opposite direction. There was a sinking feeling in Chloé’s gut that her day wasn’t going to get any better. Chloé really hoped that there wasn’t going to be an akuma, because even though it had been days since she had been knocked out of a fight, and since she didn’t appear to fight the akuma after that, she still had no idea how to explain it to Ladybug and didn’t want her to think she wasn’t taking any of this seriously.

The universe seemed to be against Chloé as minutes after the worker had disappeared, the front wall of the cafe was pulled free. Chloé couldn’t see the entire akuma, but it was big, it was mad, and it was yelling about revenge towards whoever was inside. Pulling Sabrina down with her, Chloé dodged a stream of brown sludge before grabbing her bag and running towards the back. “Hide Sabrina, I’m going to try to distract the akuma.” She was technically lying, but she was going to fight the akuma as Khelone so that had to count for something.

Chloé ran through the back of the store, past the ducking workers, and slipped out the back. She hoped the workers just thought she was running away instead of connecting her to Khelone. The back of the store exited into a closed off area, so Chloé ducked behind the nearest dumpster and released Wayzz.

“Wayzz, shell on!” After the familiar rush of the transformation faded, Chloé pushed herself away from the dumpster and jumped for the roof. She was worried about the civilians she had left behind, but also knew she needed to come from a different angle to make it look like she had been somewhere else and just had quick response time. Making sure to leap to a few extra buildings, Chloé came back to the cafe just in time to see the akuma shoot more brown sludge into the store.

Towering too high to fit into the small store comfortably, the akuma was floating above the street on two metal arms. The arms were attached to the akuma’s white jumpsuit via a large complicated backpack, and two more arms extended forward. The jumpsuit on the akuma looked odd, covering the entire body, and it took Chloé a second to notice that the akumas actual arms were too long for its body and were just hanging limply, swinging as the akuma moved.. The two metal arms not on the ground seemed to alternate between shooting the brown sludge, and metal claws that kept reaching into the store trying to grab something.

Wasting no time, Chloé jumped at the akuma’s back, pulling them down and flipping herself forward to land between the cafe and the akuma. Chloé could only prepare her shield and watch as the akuma used it’s metal limbs to push itself back up. The head lolled from side to side, and although the akuma was making a high pitch steaming noise, it’s mouth remained closed. Chloé was officially freaked out.

The akuma staggered forward before swinging their claws at Chloé as she blocked the swipes with her shield. The akuma tried a few more times before seeming to realize Chloé wasn’t letting it get to the store.. Then the akuma yelled. The ringing somehow got even louder and it was all Chloé could hear. Where Chloé assumed the mouth of the akuma was, had now fallen open and brown sludge was dripping out and falling to the road below as the sound got more and more painful. Glancing behind her, she could still see the cafe staff cowering, and the various customers who were hiding under tables. She saw Sabrina holding her hands over her ears behind an overturned table and knew that this akuma wasn’t going to touch any of them.

Chloé had seconds to prepare herself before the akuma began attacking with everything it had. She raised her shield too slow and one of the claws cut across her cheek, but the next one she deflected. The akuma tried to press forward, so Chloé kept moving to press it back, dodging the strikes when she had to, but deflecting most of them with her shield. It was exhausting. Chloé could only hope Ladybug or Chat Noir got here sooner rather than later.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Leave it to Hawkmoth to cause an akuma across town while I have family over, Ladybug thought. Marinette had faked sickness before escaping up to the bathroom and leaving through the window. The Akuma Alert had been updated within minutes that Khelone was on the scene, but there hadn’t been an update that Chat Noir had arrived, so Marinette was rushing. She still didn’t know how to feel around Chloé, guilt still eating at her from what she said, and mistrust due to what happened with Queen Bee, but that didn’t mean she wanted to leave her alone any longer than she had to with an akuma. Especially since the last few battles hadn’t been the easiest on her.

The miraculous cure worked wonders, but Marinette knew it didn’t always heal Miraculous users as well as it did civilians and property, she had had enough sore nights to realize that, and Marinette had seen Chloé wincing after being thrown into the building. Chloé had pulled away after that battle and Marinette had honestly thought she had skipped the next one altogether in embarrassment or shame. Then Marinette had seen the news coverage of the corrupted civilians around Paris, and had to admit she had judged Chloé too soon when she saw the features of Chloé preventing them from hurting others and themselves. Marinette could admit that Chloé was doing a much better job than she thought she was going to, but she had the feeling Chloé didn’t think she was doing enough.

Arriving at the scene of the battle, Marinette almost fell out of the sky when she realized what was happening. Even from her distance, Marinette could see whatever slime was dripping from the akuma’s mouth and could see the way their head rolled around. The akuma unnerved her, but what really surprised her was Chloé. There was blood on her face, probably a swipe from the akuma, but there was fiery determination in her eyes as she defended strike after strike from the metal arms and used her shield to push away slime. There were civilians cowering in the store behind her, but Marinette only had eyes for Chloé. She had never seen the other girl this determined for anything, even when they had gone against each other for class representative, this was something recent, something Marinette had seen reflected in Chat’s eyes during a fight, but not something she expected from the rich girl below. Marinette saw fire, determination to keep those around her safe. There were too many civilians in the coffee shop, and none of them were moving away from the akuma and out the back, most of them seemed frozen while they watched the battle before them, and Ladybug knew she had to jump in.

Quickly scanning the akuma, Ladybug realized the actual body was almost entirely lifeless, all of the akuma’s movements came from the legs and arms, and they would most likely not be able to catch themself if their limbs were restrained to trip them. Khelone had to be up close to use her shield or to hit opponents unless she was throwing her weapon, but Ladybug had a weapon that excelled over a distance. Dropping behind the akuma, she threw her yoyo around the front of the body as the arms were preparing another strike, and pulled the string tight against their legs.

When the akuma hit the ground, it’s wailing began to cause nearby things to shake. Plates and food from the cafe was shaking off the tables onto the floor, and the ground felt unsteady under her feet. Keeping her hold on the string tight, Ladybug began approaching the downed opponent. The akuma was struggling against its binds, but the string was holding firm. As Ladybug came closer, Khelone huffed out a breath before smashing her shield down onto the akuma’s backpack, releasing the black butterfly. Quickly retracting the yoyo, Ladybug purified the akuma and released it. Khelone was still breathing deeply while the cure washed over the street, revealing a young person who appeared to work at the cafe based on their uniform. They were dazed, but otherwise seemed fine and Ladybug dragged her eyes away from the victim to Khelone beside her.

The determined expression from earlier was still present and Marinette froze. The fire in Chloé’s eyes, the heat that Marinette had seen while she had been protecting the civilians was still present and warmth bloomed in Marinette’s chest. Chloé’s expression was slowly shifting back into a passive face, but the heat that had made itself at home in Marinette’s chest only grew. Wordlessly raising her fist, Ladybug held her arm out for the usual celebratory fist bump, and Chloé met her without a word. Marinette could not remember the last time she had been this awkward as Ladybug.

“You did great out there.”

The smallest of smiles appeared as Chloé shifted away from Ladybug. “Thanks.” Ladybug watched Chloé jump away, and even though her teammate left, the warmth she had created stayed.

#turtle!chloe #chlonette #chloe bourgeois #marinette dupain cheng #MLB #miraculous ladybug #chapter 2 is up now I can rest and chapter 3 will be here in 2 days

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aion-rsa · 4 years ago

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The 21 Best Christmas Horror Movies

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Technicolor lights are about to illuminate every other home in the neighborhood; carolers are marching through the streets; even that old tree in Rockefeller is shining brightly.

For some folks, that’s enough to make you want to grab an axe. But don’t do that. Watch demented men dressed as Santa Claus or a demon Krampus indulge your Anti-Christmas sentiments with maximum gore. Indeed, this list isn’t about the most charming, heartwarming, or schmaltzy Christmas viewing traditions. Nah, this is about the 20 grossest, nastiest, and all around most fun Christmas horror movies. The kind where the greatest gift you’re going to get on Christmas morning is escaping with your life and maybe some psychological triggers whenever you see jolly men in red suits.

Yep, these are the very best Christmas horror movies. Ho. Freaking. Ho.

Anna and the Apocalypse (2017)

Almost certainly one of the sweetest, most positive, and upbeat Christmas movies on the list is this wonderful feel good musical romance from director John McPhail, which also happens to be a zombie movie. It follows a group of friends in a small Scottish town who are just about to finish school and are making plans for the future when a zombie outbreak lands.

Incredibly catchy tunes which take inspiration from Buffy musical episode Once More With Feeling, mix with inventive festive kills – zombie snowman decapitation is a highlight – in a way that manages not to tonally jar. It’s mostly thanks to the super-likeable performances of the young cast, headed up by Ella Hunt, and the teenage troubles, romances, and heartbreak which form the backdrop of the movie. Paul Kaye also pops up as the school’s tyrannical headmaster – his musical numbers aren’t the best but he brings cartoon villain energy to an unusual but rather adorable Christmas horror that’s way better than you might expect.

– Rosie Fletcher

Better Watch Out (2016)

Home Alone is surely one of the most popular and iconic Christmas movies of all time, though it is not, of course, a horror. However, if it was, it would look something like Better Watch Out, a slick reinvention of the home invasion sub-genre. Olivia DeJonge plays babysitter Ashley, who attempts to protect her charge, 12-year-old Luke (Levi Miller), when they are threatened by intruders in his home. But all is not as it seems.

DeJonge and Miller spar beautifully in a movie which plays with gender and coming of age tropes and includes handfuls of gruesome set pieces, while Ed Oxenbould brings comic relief. This is clever, funny and gruesome stuff from director Chris Peckover which might not become a new Christmas tradition but should definitely be watched at least once.

– Rosie Fletcher

Black Christmas (1974)

Getting stabbed by a unicorn head to the tune of carolers singing “Silent Night” is probably not how you want to spend Christmas Eve. This pre-Scream holiday slasher claims its victims in a sorority house haunted by creepy phone calls (sans ghost mask), demonic noises, bodies eerily shrouded in plastic wrap, and one perverse killer whose voice alone is enough to freeze your blood.

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When an unidentified caller keeps harassing your entire sorority house with obscene things you can only half-understand (because he sounds like a deranged Donald Duck that laughs like the Joker), you should run even if it is 10 degrees outside. The blizzard of murders keeps raging with one victim dragged screaming by a hook, and another bludgeoned to death. Never mind the one suffocated by plastic wrap and left next to the window like the vacant face of a doll staring out into the night. You’ll hardly sleep in heavenly peace after this one.

– Elizabeth Rayne

Christmas Evil (aka You Better Watch Out) (1980)

In his one and only film as writer/director, Lewis Jackson crafted a smart and clever black comedy that’s more character study than straight horror film. John Waters insists it’s a comedy about a closeted transvestite (of a sort), but it’s much more than that—it’s the Taxi Driver of Yuletide shockers. Brandon Maggart plays a man who takes Christmas way too seriously. His home is filled with bright holiday decorations all year-round while Christmas carols are playing on the stereo. Santa is his role model, a symbol of all that is good and just in the world. He even works at a toy factory.

He so identifies with Santa, he takes to spying on the neighbor kids, keeping his own carefully annotated naughty and nice lists. But when he recognizes the level of cynicism and hypocrisy among his co-workers, bosses, and the people around town as the most joyous time of the year approaches, well, he goes a little funny in the head. He reaches for the suit and beard and axe, determined to reward the good and punish the evil.

Maggart has since tried to desperately distance himself from the film, but he gives a remarkable performance here as a completely isolated figure with a head swimming with both joy and rage. In the end, the film remains king of the sub-subgenre. Screw It’s a Wonderful Life and Rudolph. Apart from Blast of Silence and Invasion U.S.A., Christmas Evil is the only holiday film I watch annually.

– Jim Knipfel

A Christmas Horror Story (2015)

Admittedly, a number of horror-based Christmas movie have gone with the anthology angle for their storytelling. Hell, this isn’t even the only anthology film on this list. A Christmas Horror Story may not be on a lot of people’s radar, but it’s a worthy installment that goes to some unusual places purely because both the Christmas and anthology playgrounds have gotten so bloated at this point. This film also benefits from being executed by a cabal of directors who are responsible for directing some of the best horror movies to come out of Canada in passing years, such as Splice, the Black Christmas remake, and the Ginger Snaps trilogy.

A Christmas Horror Story deliciously uses a radio DJ (William Shatner) as the connective tissue that holds together the four stories that comprise the film. Parables on ghost possession, clone doppelgangers, Krampus, and zombie elves all get their due here. The film also has a pretty inspired ending that actually casts the picture in a whole new light. It’s got Santa Claus fighting Krampus. What’s not to like?

– Daniel Kurland

Dead of Night (1945)

Never play hide and go seek in a house where someone was murdered. While it might be best known for Michael Redgrave’s night-terror-inducing ventriloquist dummy scene that sparked the phobia of possessed puppets, Dead of Night also invites you to a Christmas party with a spectral guest. Spacecase Sally’s genuine terror at realizing what she thinks she saw is what she really saw will forever have you second-guessing shadows creeping in the cold.

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What is obvious in this scene—encroaching darkness and shadows looming over what a place you know is haunted without ever having to hear the big reveal—is hardly as chilling as what is not so obvious until the truth silently materializes. The ghost of the little boy plays hide-and-seek with the other children as if warm blood courses through his veins. Unlike many stereotypical see-through phantoms of the era, this one doesn’t have that telltale translucence which would set off a chorus of screams. Being almost disturbingly normal is exactly what makes him so terrifying.

– Elizabeth Rayne

Eyes Wide Shut (1999)

Eyes Wide Shut was the non-denominational star at the top of Stanley Kubrick’s Christmas tree. Originally conceived as a Woody Allen vehicle, it almost starred Steve Martin after Allen insisted on reading the script from right to left. It is as much a cautionary tale as Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, bringing the whole family together with a different Christmas tree in almost every frame.

Kubrick pours on the cheer from the opening sequence at the Christmas party where the first gifts are unwrapped, and oh boy are they unwrapped. Bill Harford, played by Tom Cruise, dives right into the muffled spirit of giving after he performs a more than charitable deed for the party’s host, played by Sydney Pollack.

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Harford spends most of the film looking for the perfect gift like a slow motion version of Jingle All the Way, rushing around from New York City’s famous toy repository FAO Schwartz to downtown specialty shops, to the suburbs, where he can find collectors’ editions. Cruise pays Harford like a wooden windup toy, and not a particularly cute one, either. In spite of all the colorful lights and trips above and below the rainbow, Harford just can’t get into the Christmas spirit. He’s not even moved by the uplifting seasonal tunings of “I Want a Boy for Christmas” by the Del-Vettes. He recovers his seasonal facilities while humming along to the chant during the climactic illuminati sex party, though! The song is actually “Here Comes Santa Claus” sung backwards in Latin, adding more menace to the proceedings than Silas Barnaby brought to Toyland in The March of the Wooden Soldiers.

– Tony Sokol

Gremlins (1984)

Santa doesn’t exist… unless it’s your father in a red suit who met his untimely end trying to slide down the chimney with a sack of presents before getting stuck. Don’t tell that to the innocent bat-like ears of a harmless (for now) Mogwai. It’s exactly the kind of story you expect to hear while hunkering down in the shadows with a flashlight while a bunch of leathery green things with too many teeth ransack the neighborhood.

And as for Santa? That smell coming from the fireplace weeks later was no dead cat. Worst. Christmas story. Ever.

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This movie should be on every hardcore horror fan’s holiday playlist just for the musical monstrosity of those reptilian things decked out in Santa hats and earmuffs singing “Deck the Halls” at the neighbors’ door, sheet music and all. This is continuing proof that animals have a sixth sense, because her yowling cat senses something off about the voices warbling “Joy to the World” outside. She’s right to have an aversion to Christmas carolers.

– Elizabeth Rayne

Holidays (2015)

There have been so many holiday-themed horror films at this point—reaching Christmas and going far, far beyond that—so why not make an anthology film that takes that idea to the extreme? Holidays hits the expected staples such as Christmas, Halloween, and Valentine’s Day, but part of the fun here is how holidays with lesser expectations like Easter or St. Patrick’s Day deliver some truly horrifying content (seriously, the St. Patrick’s Day segment is disturbing, bonkers chaos).

The Christmas segment comes courtesy of Scott Stewart (Legion) and has Seth Green trying to survive the holiday as he attempts to get his son the perfect gift. Stewart’s installment feels very reminiscent of a Black Mirror episode with virtual reality, consumerism, and the dangers of mob mentality all playing their part here.

A lot of these anthology films also try to bank off of the name recognition and notoriety of the assembled directors, but Holidays proudly features a collection of mostly fresh faces (although Kevin Smith and Starry Eye’s Kevin Kolsch contribute segments). It’s fun to discover a bunch of new blossoming talents here.

– Daniel Kurland

Jack Frost (1997)

This ain’t the cringeworthy father/son bonding vehicle starring Michael Keaton. No, this is the Jack Frost where the killer snowman’s nose functions as both a killing tool and a device to sexually assault his victims. All square? But hey, at the least the film isn’t afraid to ride its ridiculous premise as hard as possible.

First of all, an actual killer named Jack Frost crashes into a truck of “genetics material” that causes him to transform into this cold abomination in the first place. That sets the tone pretty nicely for the abundant murders, sex, and plot holes that plague the town of Snowmonton (yup). It’s hard to believe that this film got made, with all of the visuals being some real spectacles that you don’t typically see in the horror genre.