#is because parents are abusive and controlling

[homosexualmorelikehomiesexual]

i was homeschooled by a neo nazi. the sheer amount of damage it did to my psyche as a queer child in that environment is something im still grappling with to this day. and thats to say nothing about having my education, health, and emotional wellbeing neglected. i had to fucking laugh in 2020 when people were crying about not leaving the house for a single month, when i had been kept housebound since i was 6 years old. i cant describe the indignity of watching people finally recognize what id been saying for years, which is that remote learning was not only useless as an education method but fundamentally damaging to the students mental health, and then not ONCE think to check up on kids who'd already been homeschooled. not once.

because nobody gives a flying shit about the actual voices of homeschooled kids, least of all the parents that subject them to it. and thats not to say those parents dont care, or arent attached - quite the opposite. remember, we're talking about the kind of abuse that seeks to keep the victims closer, not further away. its just that the pressure to cover for that abuse is placed directly on these childrens shoulders. i know, because i lived it. we are expected to present ourselves to the public as prodigies, partly to sell people on the idea of homeschooling but mainly to ward off social services. and if we fail to do that, which we largely do, we are kept out of the public eye our entire childhoods.

and thats assuming it ends with the onset of adulthood. if we're lucky enough to have parents willing to let us go at all, that isolation and lack of worldly experience leaves us with no resources, no networks, no support systems, no basic survival skills. do you know the difference between debit and credit? what health insurance is, who pays for it, how to find a provider? who taught you to drive? do you know what the dmv is? what social security is, or where to find your birth certificate? do you know how to use a crosswalk? if you arent homeschooled, you do not realize how much knowledge you have that you take for granted. the level of dependance it creates on the abuser is terrifying. im 21, i didnt move out till 6 months ago. most people assume i took an extended gap year. the truth is i was psychotic from isolation trauma, rapidly developing stockholm syndrome, and had no resources to leave after i turned 18 even though i desparately wanted to. if i hadnt been lucky enough to have other family members to rescue me, i would probably not be alive today.

and despite how damning the evidence is that this is a terrible byproduct of multiple systems that long since shouldve been fixed, despite all the hubub about protecting children in this stupid, stupid fucking country, there is ZERO public interest in acknowledgeing our existence outside of using us as a talking point to snub rural america. a talking point, and nothing more. nobody actually cares to change those red states, they just want someone to blame. so when we do speak up, we get tuned out. because it turns out nobody actually wants to hear about the medical neglect, or the cults, or the grooming, or the domestic violence, let alone do anything about it. (besides vaguely gesturing to things like...calling CPS on our own parents, once again placing the pressure on the victims to rescue ourselves, when weve often been taught to fear those institutions since the onset of our abuse.)

if you think im exaggerating, go read through r/homeschoolrecovery. thats just the kids whove managed to get internet, most of whom profess terror at facing further abuse if their parents find out. look at your phone. look at your computer. every single device you own has the ability to set parental controls. i dont know the exact numbers of the silent majority of homeschooled children without access to the internet, but considering the main demographic who chooses homeschooling is white supremacist christian fundie cults, who really fucking love having numbers of white babies that exceed the double digits, id be confident in wagering its a lot. so you wanna know why over half the states in the country are red? fucking start there.

because theres a *reason* isolation is a cult tactic. its why im such an advocate for libraries, unpaywalled and un age restricted internet, and actually putting money into rural infrastructure - ESPECIALLY internet networks and public transit. because while the american public education system remains the stinking garbage fire it is, people are gonna keep choosing to take matters into their own hands. and under this presidency, it is going to get worse. there is no point bashing the parents for it, because it just convinces them further that the left has an agenda to systemically brainwash their kids or whatever. so please, for the love of god, make sure that even in the worst case scenarios where they have complete control over their children, those kids arent completely cut off from the world.

Anyway enough lame gifted kid discourse we are in our 20s. Let's talk about how homeschooling in america should be fucking illegal it's insane lol

[olderthannetfic]

Im neither a proshipper nor an anti at this current stage in life, but at one point i was an anti i guess? And I hate it say it, but looking back, I understand why. I don't think I actually gave a fuck about Harmful Fanfic or whatever, it was just a substitute for therapy that i couldn't get at the time (because "literally neurodivergent and a minor" or whatever, but like...actually literally neurodivergent and a minor LOL).

As weird as it sounds like, no one cared about my ACTUAL PAIN, and that made me feel EVEN MORE PAIN, so i took it out on ppl who shipped "abuse", or whatever.

It's so stupid now, as an adult who is mentally better than I was then, but as ridiculous as it was, seeing someone ship an "abusive" ship or a "queer erasing ship" (like a canonically gay character with someone of the other binary gender)...it felt eerily similar to the actual abuse I was facing and the stress that everyone was putting on me to find a boyfriend or ask why my (closeted lesbian) self didn't like any boys.

But it was so much easier to keyboard warrior about how people who ship Bad things are Bad people, than it was to fix any problems in my actual life because...well, the actual problems in my life COULDN'T be fixed. That isn't a learned helplessness thing, there was genuinely nothing I could've done. So pissing off Shippers was, like, a vessel for that, and it *felt* like I was getting to lash out at the same people who were ACTUALLY hurting me, even though that obviously is not the case. Funny thing is, it wasn't actual fandom discourse that made me switch sides, it was getting to learn more about youth liberation movements and stuff, because it was then that I recognized the actual structures that were making me hurt.

I think one silver lining is it's made me more compassionate an adult. While I don't have any defense for the antis who do actual horrendous stuff like doxxing or sending death/rape threats, etc, I do have a lot of defense for the ones who were like me and would just make posts talking about how Wrong it is to ship certain things. I know that not all antis are in the same place that I was once was, and some are just genuinely immature brats, but it's like. . . I get it, you know?

The cycle of abuse/bullying is weird and it's not often a 1:1 "I had an abusive parent so now i'll be an abusive parent", sometimes it's the chronically online stuff like I did. It's also why I'm careful-careful to not engage and to just block or, even try to have a mature discussion if I can, and if the person I'm talking to is just "a little bit annoying" rather than "actual bully doing/sending illegal stuff". A lot of them just want to be heard, I think, and it really makes me sad that this is the way they choose to be heard...but also i get it, because i was that.

--

Yup. We often discuss anti tendencies in this framework.

People want control over their environment when they have none. They want the world to make sense and for there to be simple rules they can follow to Never Mess Up. This is a very common reaction to trauma and also typical of brains that like order and neat boxes and a world full of justice and logic.

The trouble is that a critical mass of "I'm just pointing this out" type posts does tend to make all the other teens with an issue around moral scrupulosity implode. (And let's be real, plenty of the antis themselves are secretly into dark content and are trying to pray the gay kink away.)

I have some sympathy, but I'm still going to tell people they're sealioning when they are and tell them they're flat out wrong about how fantasies work, not sugar coat it because they're probably a delicate teen. There's no need to be excessively mean or treat people as irredeemable, but I also don't like how we talk endlessly about compassion for teen antis and not for teens targeted by antis. It's similar to how there are all those complaints like "Hey, I work hard to manage my mental illness, but all the support seems to go to people who are letting their issues rampage..."

[dark-fics-4-you]

in crocodile tears, would coryo ever knock the reader up and marriage trap her?? after his money situation gets better of course.

i'd imagine he'd basically force her to be his girlfriend and also have his way with her before that though.

maybe after marriage he has housewife kink lol

Crocodile Tears headcanons

Warnings: noncon (rape), forced pregnancy, unwanted pregnancy, abusive relationship, arranged relationship (kind of), forced relationship, controlling behavior, housewife kink

100% yes. Reader’s parents already think very highly of him so I think he could pretty easily bribe them into giving him Reader’s hand in marriage (especially if he had gotten her pregnant at that point). But her parents wouldn’t consider it bribery, they just take Coryo at his word and think he’s doing a nice thing for their daughter, who gets to marry someone better off than they are.

Bc Reader never exposed him for cheating, he never got sent off to District 12, he won the plinth prize, and was offered some good job opportunities post grad.

I could see Coryo w a majorrrr house wife kink for poor reader, who went from top of her class and almost winning the plinth prize to a pregnant house wife who is dependent on Coryo.

Despite now knowing that Reader got to the top without sexual favors or anything like that, he still holds onto that resentment and entitlement that he felt for such a long time, and he punishes her for being better than him by forcing her into marriage and pregnancy.

Post pregnancy- He likes exercising control over her and making her do humiliating things like cleaning in short skirts that he picked out, making her scrub the kitchen floor on her hands and knees, putting her in charge of all of the household chores and taking care of the baby (all the while taking it out on her when she’s too depressed to follow through)

Getting her pregnant again is a major threat that Coryo leverages over her after she gives birth to their first child. He knows that she would do anything to not get pregnant again, so he holds it over her for a while and uses it to keep her in line.

Until eventually he can’t stop himself anymore, giving in to his own desires, holding her down and fucking her again and again, cumming deep inside her as she cried and begged and squirmed beneath him.

Because she was going to be his perfect little housewife, whether she wanted to or not.

[thezombieprostitute]

The Arrangement - Part 10

Summary: Jake's done a lot of things to keep his sister, and then his niece, safe from his parent's influence and manipulation. If he wants to keep them safe, he has to marry you.

Warnings: Bad parents, Implied abuse, Implied violence. Let me know if I missed any!

Part 9 -- Part 11

Series Masterlist

As you calm down, Jake waits until you tell him to before he lets you go. He can't imagine how much you might need this so he'll hold you for as long as you want.

You sniffle and shake your head as you gently push away from him. "I'm sorry about that," you splutter.

"No need to apologize," he assures. "It's been a really crazy couple of days. Probably a lot longer than that for you."

"I should get to work on the dishes." You try to move past him but he holds out his arm.

"I said I'd do the dishes," he reminds you. "Not only did you cook breakfast, you cooked a lot more food than you should have. The least I can do is help out with the clean up."

"You had to actually talk to them," you quietly argue. "I just sat and refilled drinks."

"You also really helped me out, reassured me when I was feeling lost," he gently countered. "Please let me do this for you?"

It takes you a minute of internal waffling before you tell him, "okay. And thank you."

As you start tearing up again Jake is quick to ask, "are you okay? What's wrong? Do you need another hug? Are you hurt?"

"I'm just...I'm just not...not used to such kindness," you confess as you wipe the tears away.

"Doing the dishes for you is more than you're used to?" You nod and Jake feels a renewed wave of anger at your family. "Would...would it help if you supervised my cleaning? Make sure I'm not cleaning your cast iron by putting it in the dishwasher?" Your eyes go wide and you gasp, but he's quick to smile and reassure you that he would never do that. "It's one of the few cleaning things I will forever know, if only because it came up in a trivia night one time."

The giggle escapes before you even knew it was forming. You slap your hand over your mouth, embarrassed but Jake's eyes are lit up. Everything in his body language tells you he's not angry or offended at your outburst, but happy about it.

"If you want me to ignore that, I will," he comments. "But I would be happy to acknowledge it!" He looks at you like an excited puppy eager for praise and you can't help but continue giggling from behind your hand. He starts shaking with excitement but he's not saying or doing anything because you haven't said if you want it acknowledged. Unfortunately that's just making your fit more uncontrollable.

You remove your hand and gasp between fits, "it's okay. I'm so sorry. I don't know why I'm laughing this much. I'm sorry."

Jake lightly bounces as he assures you, "it's okay! There's nothing to apologize for! Sometimes a thing just tickles your fancy. It could also be a response to all the stress you've been through. When was the last time you had a really good cry? Or a really good laugh?"

"It has been a long time," you sigh, keeping your head down as you finally get your laughing under control.

"So, would you be willing to supervise me in the kitchen?"

"That sounds nice," you nod.

"And you promise to correct me if I do something wrong? Or before I do something wrong?" You hesitate at that. "I promise I don't want to upset you. I just...we're going to be going to a lot of parties soon. I'll have no idea what I'm doing. I'm going to need your help." You look up at him, eyes a mix of emotions. "I...I get the impression you're not...you don't correct others." You lower your face in shame. "Hey, it's not...I get why. I really do! It's not a judgment, I promise!" Jake's tone becomes a little more frantic, but no less pleading, soft. "And I'm gonna need your help to not make an ass of myself at these parties. That includes correcting me or stopping me before I do something stupid. The kitchen supervision could be a good way to practice that for us?"

"That...that makes sense," you agree. "I promise to try?"

Jake smiles, "thank you so much, Sharky!"

"Sharky?"

"Sorry, I'm used to friends with nicknames," he quickly explains. "And, I figured you...you like sharks so much you literally studied them...I swear it sounded better in my head." His face looks chagrined as he rubs his hand on the back of his head.

"I...I've never really had a nickname before," you tell him. "I kinda did when I was studying, but it was definitely derogatory." Jake's eyes turn sad. "Derogatory regarding my background. No matter how much work I did, I was still called 'Princess' because of my family." You shake your head to dispel the memory. "But 'Sharky' sounds a lot nicer." You give him a soft smile that has Jake's heart fluttering.

As the dishes get loaded into the dishwasher and the others await the required handwashing, you decide to ask Jake about something that's been bothering you.

"Your father," you hesitate, knowing it's a sensitive topic. "He mentioned something about your niece?"

Jake sighs, the smile on his face dropping. "You remember my sister was engaged to Travis?"

"Of course."

"I got her out of it by, essentially, hiding her far away from here. She met someone, fell in love, and they had a daughter." Your eyes widen slightly in surprise. "She's only 8 years old," he continues. "But she's super stubborn, like her mother. Smart, like her father. And she's damn good at soccer, minus some bad calls from a ref."

You smile a little at that. It's very clear he cares a lot for her.

"But my parents found out about her," he continues. "They hinted that they know where she and Sarah live and they flat out told me that, unless I agreed to marry you, to be the obedient son they always wanted, they were going to marry her off to your brother."

You gasp at that. You knew your parents were determined to solidify power and position by combining the families but you didn't think they would go so far! And to your brother, who would be twice her age upon marrying her! Your blood freezes as you think of how badly he'd hurt her.

"Hey, Sharky? You okay?"

Jake's voice breaks through the bad memories, "sorry. I just...I'm happy to help you keep her safe."

"Thank you for that."

Part 9 -- Part 11

Series Masterlist

Tagging: @alicedopey; @ashdoctor; @delicatebarness; @ellethespaceunicorn; @irishhappiness

@jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @lokislady82; @ronearoundblindly

[killallxys2]

If you're an Indian woman, never get married

Along with Marital rape there are many laws imposed by misogynist men

I. Rape Of A Separated Wife and Marital Rape, Section 375 of Indian Penal Code

India's marital rape law is a shocking endorsement of misogyny and patriarchal control, treating women as property. Here's the harsh truth:

1. Marital Rape is Not Illegal

Under Indian law, marital rape is not considered a crime if the wife is over 15 years old. This law effectively legalizes rape within marriage, denying millions of women the right to consent to sex. The law states:

"Sexual intercourse or sexual acts by a man with his own wife, the wife not being under fifteen years of age, is not rape."

This language treats women as commodities and reinforces the idea that a wife is the husband’s property, with sex as his right.

2. Endorsing Violence Against Women

In a country where one in five men have admitted to forcing sex on their wives, the law’s failure to criminalize marital rape sends a chilling message: women’s bodies are not their own. It allows men to use women as sexual objects without fear of legal consequence.

3. Government’s Misguided Justification

The government justifies this atrocity by claiming that criminalizing marital rape would undermine traditional family values and that marriage presumes consent. This dangerous reasoning not only perpetuates abuse but also upholds a regressive and outdated view of marriage, where women’s autonomy is irrelevant.

II. Hindu Inheritance Laws in Hindu Succession Act ,2005

Different communities and religions in India have varying inheritance laws but one glaring provision in the widely-applicable Hindu Inheritance Laws has to do with the transfer of property of a married woman upon her death. In the absence of a will upon her death and in the absence of a spouse or children, the deceased woman’s property is inherited by her in-laws and not her parents.

This means that even if the deceased shared a less than amicable relationship with her in-laws, her inheritance would go to them instead of the parents who raised her. The law is obviously not the same for men, and acts as a subtle implication of how married women are expected to cut all legal ties with their own family and lineage post-marriage. Almost as though she herself has become the property of her husband’s family now. III. Parsi Law Of Inheritance under Indian Succession Act 1925

1. Parsi Marriage and Inheritance Rights

When a Parsi man marries a non-Parsi woman, she is not entitled to inherit his property after his death, although their children do inherit his wealth. This creates an inherently unequal system where women, even in a legally recognized marriage, are excluded from inheritance rights.

Conversely, if a Parsi woman marries a non-Parsi man, her children do not inherit her property, and she is often ostracized by the community. In addition, she is forced to suspend relationships with her own parents, further deepening the social and emotional toll on women in such unions.

2. Maintenance vs. Property Rights

In India, women are entitled to maintenance from their former husbands, but they have no rights to any assets acquired during the marriage, such as houses or commercial property, if they are in the husband's name. This leaves many women financially vulnerable after divorce or separation, as they may not be able to claim any portion of the marital property.

The economic position of women in India remains weak because of the legal lack of recognition for the immense contribution they make through household labor.

3. Separation of Property Regime

India follows the Separation of Property Regime, where property acquired by each spouse during marriage is considered separate and registered in their individual names. This means that if a woman is separated from her husband, she may be left with no claim to any property he holds, even if the property was acquired during their marriage.

In cases of divorce or separation, a woman may find herself asset-less, with no legal recourse to claim a share of property or assets, even if her contributions—both financially and domestically—are significant.

4. Broader Social and Legal Impact

These laws reinforce gender inequality by denying women the right to property and inheritance, whether through marriage or community rules. Cultural practices (like the ostracism of Parsi women who marry outside their community) further marginalize women and prevent them from accessing the economic rights they deserve.

The economic disenfranchisement of women extends beyond the immediate lack of property. Without legal protections for their contributions within the home or equal rights to marital assets, women are left disempowered, particularly in the context of divorce or widowhood.

Pathetically, Indian law or policy fails to recognize women as equal partners in marriage.

V. No Exclusive Right To Inheritance and No Separate Maintenance for Christian Women, The Indian Christian Marriage Act 1872

India’s legal system is deeply unequal when it comes to the treatment of Christian women, especially in matters of maintenance and inheritance:

1. No Separate Maintenance for Christian Women

Unlike Hindu women, who can claim separate maintenance under the Hindu Adoption and Maintenance Act, 1955, Christian women have no such legal right. This leaves them vulnerable and with few options if they are abandoned or separated.

Their only respite comes from Section 125 of the Criminal Procedure Code (CrPC), which provides them a meager sum of Rs 500 per month in maintenance. This amount is far below what is necessary for a woman to live with dignity and security.

2. Inheritance Rights are Misogynist

The Indian Christian Widow does not have exclusive inheritance rights. If the husband has lineal descendants (children), two-thirds of his property goes to them, while the widow is left with just one-third.

Even more discriminatory is the rule regarding the widow of a pre-deceased son. If a son dies before his parents, his widow has no inheritance rights. However, children born or in the womb at the time of death are entitled to an equal share in the inheritance, leaving the widow of the deceased son with nothing.

3. Misogynist Property Laws

The laws governing Christian inheritance reflect deeply male bias, where women’s rights are secondary to those of male descendants. In cases where there are descendants, the widow is pushed to the margins, while male heirs take the lion's share of property.

The inheritance system also fails to recognize the economic and social contributions of women, particularly in the context of their role in the family.

4. Systematic male Bias

Christian women are systematically disadvantaged by a legal framework that reinforces suppression of women. While certain rights like maintenance and inheritance are recognized for Hindu women, Christian women continue to face significant legal discrimination that leaves them financially vulnerable and without the same protections.

VI. Only Prevention, No Cure: Prohibition Of Child Marriage Act 2006

India’s response to child marriage is deeply flawed and inconsistent, with laws that fail to protect children fully and reinforce misogyny. Here's the harsh reality:

Child Marriage is Not Illegal: The most bizarre aspect of India's laws on child marriage is that while they aim to prevent it, they don’t actually declare child marriages illegal or nullify them. In many cases, child marriages are simply allowed to continue, and judges have rationalized this by citing the need to protect women from exploitation—a justification that fails to recognize the harm child marriage causes.

Unequal Rights to Nullify the Marriage: Under the law, children have the right to annul their marriage—but this right is gendered and limited. Women can call off the marriage only until the age of 20, while men can do so until they are 23. This discriminates against girls, the vulnerable party, and gives more power to men in a situation where they are already in a position of authority.

VII. The Family Law of Usage And Customs Of Hindus Of Goa, 1880

The laws governing marriage in Goa, particularly for gentile Hindus, are deeply misogynist, creating a patriarchal framework that severely restricts women's rights and autonomy. Here are the shocking details:

Discriminatory Marriage Laws: Under Goa's Family Law, a second marriage for a man will not be recognized unless his first wife has no children by age 25 or no son by age 30. This law reduces women to mere vessels for reproduction, where their value is solely tied to their ability to bear children, especially sons, by certain ages.

Contradictory Legal Landscape: While progressive rulings in India, such as recognizing live-in relationships as valid marriages, show that society is evolving, Goa's laws drag us back to outdated, regressive ideas. They enforce the dangerous notion that a woman's worth is defined by her womb.

Threat to Women's Rights: Even more alarming is the fact that the Indian government is considering using Goa’s Civil Code as a model for the Uniform Civil Code (UCC), which would impose these regressive and discriminatory laws on the entire country, severely undermining women’s rights and equality.

Confusion and Patriarchy: The current marriage laws in India are full of contradictions—on one hand, we have progressive judgments, and on the other, archaic laws that perpetuate patriarchy. Laws like these only serve to confuse and oppress, making women’s rights and autonomy secondary to traditional, patriarchal expectations

IX. Age of Consent, Criminal Law Amendment Act 2013 The Indian legal system contains deeply problematic discrepancies when it comes to the age of marriage and consent, especially regarding women. Here are the key issues:

Marriage Age Disparity: Men in India can legally marry at 21, while women can marry at 18. This difference is rooted in outdated gender norms and raises the question: Why should women have a lower age requirement? This unequal standard is both sexist and unjust.

Age of Consent: The legal age for consensual sex in India is 18. However, despite calls from experts and activists (including the landmark Justice Verma report after the Nirbhaya case) to lower the age of consent to 16, the law remains unchanged. This leaves young people—especially women—vulnerable.

Child Marriage Loophole: India still has a massive legal loophole. While the age of consent is 18, child marriage remains legally acceptable if the woman is over 15 and married. This creates a disturbing situation where a married girl under 18 is not protected by laws against statutory rape, essentially allowing marital rape.

Institutionalized Pedophilia: The combination of child marriage, legal exceptions for marital rape, and the outdated age of consent laws means that India’s legal system effectively condones and enables sexual abuse, particularly in the context of child brides.

A man can legally get married when he is 21 years of age while a woman can be married when she is simply 18 years old. Edit: I also know many women don't have a choice. But I don't think so any of that women are here on tumblr.

[marmolita]

followup to my ranty post from a little bit back about how the people yelling about critical race theory at school board meetings are largely not actually representing how parents feel because I have data!

The Indiana Department of Education did a survey of parents and found (emphasis mine):

* The vast majority (88%) of Indiana parents are satisfied with the quality of their child’s school. Satisfaction is even higher among those whose child is enrolled in elementary school (90%) and those in rural and small-town areas throughout the state (96%). * Most parents know and approve of the subjects and topics taught at their child’s school. Only 7% of parents say they don’t approve of the subjects and topics taught to their child, and of those 7%, about two-thirds acknowledge that they do not know, or are unsure, what subjects and topics are being taught.

Only 1/3 of 7% of parents disapprove of what's being taught and actually know what's being taught, which is around 2% overall. And yet, that small percentage of people are noisy enough that the state legislature is considering all kinds of bullshit bills to restrict what teachers can teach.

Anyway, all of this to say that when you get the impression from social media of "those crazy parents in red states are all trying to make schools intolerant and racist," take a step back and actually look at what's going on. This is a problem of media coverage and political power plays, and schools are just the pawns. Parents -- both liberal and conservative -- overwhelmingly think that the subject material being taught in schools is fine as is.

What are parents actually concerned about? According to this survey, affordability of college, and safety in school are the top concerns. Only 27% of parents reported that post-high school education is affordable. 47% of lower-income parents in metropolitan areas are concerned about their children's safety at school. It's really unfortunate that what parents care about is not what's having changes pushed in the legislature.

[ozzo-the-wozzo]

Trying to explain Adrien’s subplot in miraculous to anyone but it’s literally just this:

[rockrosethistle]

woah reblogging this to address some points that have been brought up

The main point I was trying to convey in this post was that the pastel Addams family trope is so much fresher and more entertaining than just circling back to "man is religious and therefore abusive." One thing that's cool about the Chasitys is that their dynamic isn't one you see often, especially in modern media. By assuming Mark is evil or Karen is a victim or any other of those things, it actively takes away from what makes them unique. "But it feels like there's something sinister under the surface..." Yes, their daughter killed a man. That's the sinister secret.

I did not say the Chasitys are perfect parents to Grace. They have a lot of flaws. But so does Bill Woodward, and I've never seen him held to the same level of scrutiny. Of course there's a lot wrong with them. There is not a single parent in Hatchetfield without something wrong with them. But to only look at their flaws, or reduce them down to just the worst parts is a mischaracterization.

When dealing with religious characters, it is important to remember that they truly believe in their religion, even if you don't. When Mark and Karen encourage Grace in getting the dance canceled and tell her "this is no moan household," it's not because they are trying to control or hurt her. It because they genuinely believe that is what is best for her. Is that a flawed perspective? Absolutely. But a child raised in a Christian household being told to practice abstinence is the same thing as a child raised in any other religious environment being told to do any other religious practice. It genuinely comes from a place of love, meaning that even if Mark and Karen are misinformed, they are not malicious.

Bottom line is, please just let them be nerds. They are so funny and honestly have a lot of potential.

I feel like this fandom keeps misinterpreting the Chasitys. Specifically Mark and Karen.

Because every fic I read about them, Mark is this oppressive force on the girls, and Karen keeps her mouth shut and nods along. And while I understand how that can set up some really interesting plots, I think it overlooks how they're really a lot more like The Addams Family.

They just have this weird shared interest, and they're all dressed in their little pastels, and the town doesn't understand them but that's okay because they understand eachother. That is just so more entertaining than 'religious man is judgey.'

Also, in the short time we get with them, Mark Chasity is completely pleasant and positive! He's actually the more easygoing of the two!

And they both obviously care a lot about their daughter, at least enough to notice a change in her behaviour.

Guys. Can we just let these weirdos love eachother. It's so important to me

[normalbrothers]

TOMMY: The war is done! Shut the door on it like I did.

[uncanny-tranny]

Part of my experience with abuse is hoping I get a kid like me so I can know how easy it can be to love them, how easy it is to not treat them how I was treated, and breaking that cycle. It was only hard for them to love me as a child because they didn't love me in the first place. They wished for me to know the hate they had, and I refuse to carry their water for them like that. It was never hard to love me.

[ceasarslegion]

No i dont think its a good thing to make hating children your entire personality but can i please just say that i dont like them and dont want to deal with screaming temper tantrums and meltdowns from other peoples kids (especially, ESPECIALLY when the parents are absolutely useless in dealing with them) without 30,000 people crawling out of the woodwork to assume that i think all kids should die

[thousandyearphantombunker]

https://dailycollegian.com/2023/12/there-is-no-bad-person-disease/#:~:text=There's%20no%20health%20condition%20that,do%20with%20your%20overall%20morality (not sure the links I've given are functional but y'all can copy them into your search bar anyway)

People with NPD are capable of apologizing for past behavior, admitting to weakness, sacrificing themselves, showing others respect and decency, they can have morals and some of them (not all) are capable of empathy which btw is not required in order to do something heroic- also it's possible to act heroic for selfish reasons. they have fragile egos and often can have complexes (like ya know a guilt complex that makes them an overly self sacrificing martyrs) I'm sorry tony being a good person/attempting to be better doesn't negate him from having the 'evil' cluster B personality disorder. Tony's self importance doesn't manifest as being cruel or outwardly selfish it manifests in his guilt complex and playing hero. His belief that he is special fuels his guilt further. He's a perfectionist.

"I expect more of myself than everyone else. I have to be perfect or I'm useless." - a diagnosed narcissist

He is cold and dismissive and he can brag a lot. He's a functional narcissist so he's not gonna freak out when criticized. It's almost like narcissistic people are people and are complex and aren't so solely just a bunch of negative symptoms and traits of their disorder. He's also got several disorders that are comorbid with NPD such as substance abuse disorder and he has an avoidant attachment style- perhaps to protect his own ego and cope with childhood trauma. He used to exploit others heavily and is kind of a toxic boss. He was rejected, and neglected by his father and praised for intelligence so much as a child and had to deal with a lot trauma before getting kidnapped by terrorists. All of the traumas he faced are common in people with npd

tony displays: arrogance, haughty behaviors, and attitudes. a grandiose sense of self-importance. a lack of empathy or an unwillingness to identify with the needs of others and behavior that is exploitative and takes advantage of others to achieve their own ends. It doesn't manifest as outright cruelty like I said his grandiose sense of importance actually motivates him as a hero and makes his ego weaker though he's functioning so he can still take a blow

I am mainly going based off the comics and I'm aware that the MCU tones him down quite a bit but he still displays some of these traits.

I remember back then when autism was also just a lost of negative traits/symptoms a school counselor would point to 'an autistic person have no empathy and are completely rigid and black and white in their worldview, they will break down over dumb things are violent etc' being autistic when I was kid didn't mean you were a kid with a disability it meant you were a brat and a burnout. It meant you were unhygienic and aggressive and RIGID- which according to way too many people meant robot control freak rather than seeking comfort in things like routine and lacking the skills/intellectual capacity needed to function outside of them or they have panic attacks when taken out their routine and ya know aren't being manipulative and are having involuntary emotional responses- and I would hear autism parents complain about their kids and i would hear adults raised by autistic people talk about the scars they had been left with and they deserved to vent because yeah it can be traumatic and stressful and they are victims but it became something ugly toward me. People with cluster B personality disorders have it way worse than I ever did (dear god they get criminalized) but I relate for a reason. I like characters like Tony because they have traits associated with stigmatized disorders and shows those traits in action vs how we envision them when hear about the disorder- when you hear self important you automatically assume it means selfish and don't realize how complex and different that trait can look across the board and we get to see that they are complex and capable and even good people. I know not everyone has to agree with the headcanon and I understand why many of Tony's fans get mad at this headcanon but you don't have the best knowledge of NPD I'm guessing. People hear traits like entitled and interested in success and power and automatically think of the worst case scenario- megalomania and taking whatever they want no matter the cost and don't see how those traits can manifest in a variety of ways and not all them are destructive. Your statement apply to some not all narcissists. I don't know if you have trauma and if you do I'm sorry if this reads as cold or mean but I really hate when people talk about personality disorders like this. Npd can manifest in a variety of ways

"everyone is different" yeah including freaking narcissists that wasn't a gotcha. Your statement was legitimately ableist

everyone who says that tony is a narcissist has probably never met a narcissist but as someone who lived with one for Fifteen Fucking Years I can tell u that he isn't even close to one

[furiousgoldfish]

When you're a small child, your abusive parents seem omnipotent to you. They are the highest authority you've known, they know everything and can do anything, mostly including hurting you if you don't do as you are told. They make you believe that they can read your mind and know your thoughts, and that they're impossible to escape from, they'll follow you to the ends of earth and drag you back into their house.

It's normal for small children, with no point of reference, to believe their parents omnipotent, but as they grow up, learn how things work in life, find references to how children are made and raised and what parents are responsible for - they grow out of it. They start to understand the limitations of parents, and often make use of them. They know that parents can't do or know everything, they can keep secrets, tell their little white lies, and they're not intimidated by parents because parents are not a threat to them, but figures of care and safety, people who they can go to when they're in trouble or in need of safety.

Abusive parents, however, work very hard to carry that imposing, omnipotent, oppressive illusion of them deep into adulthood. They will insist that neither you nor any authority or law can control or stop them, if they've decided on something. They'll show you by example, by manipulating people around them, sometimes even people of authority, that no matter what, they'll get their way. They'll want you to feel helpless, powerless and isolated whenever you want to oppose them. They'll manipulate your own point of view, and insist you have to see them in positive light, or else. They'll convince you that even thoughts that they don't approve of, are a sin, and that you could be punished for it. That there's nowhere to run, nobody who would believe you or help you, that you have no other choice but to submit to their will.

They wouldn't be able to impose such illusion on anyone except a child, and then the adult they've been grooming from very early age to believe these things to be eternal truths that cannot be questioned. And this is a part of what makes abusive parents so terrifying; they can go above some authority with the power of manipulation, they can lie their way out of crimes, they can gaslight and convince their victims it's their fault or it didn't happen, they regularly do and get away with this. Anyone watching that unfolding would be in trepidation of them, and hyper-aware of how dangerous these individuals are.

But, they are not omnipotent. They do not know what anyone is thinking. They do not know things outside their little bubble. If you go to a location they don't know of, and nobody can tell them, they cannot find out. They cannot predict your thoughts or actions as well as they try to convince you they can. They cannot change reality, they cannot erase what happened, and they cannot keep you imprisoned against your will your whole life. It is pretty hard on them, actually, to try and keep controlling an adult who has a mind of their own - that's why they're putting so much energy into trying to make their children into people without any thoughts of their own. But that's impossible.

Think about all the times they're really flying into rage, yelling and screaming and convincing you that something is right or wrong for you. How hard they go at changing your mind when you're thinking something that doesn't go to their benefit. Lot of effort on their part just to change your train of thoughts, isn't it? But if they were omnipotent, your thoughts would be no threat to them. If you were simply 'wrong', why would it even matter? An omnipotent being would simply shrug and not care.

They work extremely hard to change what's in your mind, because that's the only way they can keep that illusion of goodness and omnipotence. If you're allowed to think for yourself, to make your own conclusions, to believe your senses and point out what is logical, then their entire charade falls into nothing, it becomes obvious they're nothing but skilled liars and their power of manipulation is how they maintain everything else in life. It also becomes obvious how cruel and immoral their lies are, and how much damage they do to everyone around them.

They don't want you to see the limits because the limits show they're only good at terrifying and brainwashing children, not anything beyond that. You can get away from them to a place they can't follow. You can escape their cruelty and mind control. You can gain freedom. Your thoughts can be your own. You are allowed and able of keeping secrets from them. You can withhold information and opinions from them. You can lie to them. You can deceive them and trick them in order to get away. They have no legal right to you. You do not owe them anything. Their power ends the second they can't find or contact you.

[dangans-ur-ronpas]

enough of 'this character is an asshole because their parents are abusive!!' we need to stop pushing the idea that abusive parents are the only asshole-making trauma that exist. sometimes the trauma can be from a grief or loss that changes you deeply, to the point where everything else stops looking like it's worth being treasured. sometimes the rudeness can be from being so jaded at a world that keeps kicking you when you're down, to the point that it's either fight back or just take it. sometimes the parents aren't outright cruel or abusive but divorced,

[wheekingpig]

the fnv brotherhood of steel being such an intense parallel to being stuck with an abusive conservative family explored largely through a lesbian character whose constantly making excuses for them gighhrggurughh

[midnight-soulless-system]

Since it's bark, here are some things you need to be aware of. As someone who's abusive parent put on 4 different monitoring apps (it was HELL to get them all on because they'd constantly alert of each other nd it took weeks or tech support from best buy and all of the companies to install them "decent enough" for her) because she got mad I told my other mother that my cousin was cutting themself, here's the rundown of this app. I have decent experience fucking with the system in a way that doesn't raise much suspicion.

Browsing history, music (they can access all of your music accounts if they'd like and log in as you. They can do this on any website that they want to if they get your phone and hit a button letting them have full access to that account from the bark app on their phone), what you're viewing at any moment, texts (if it contains "concerning content" so basically anything worth deleting), photos, videos, email, and almost all social media apps. They do NOT have access to monitoring Bluesky however.

It can monitor these browsers: firefox, chrome/google, default browsing. Incognito will either not work or will still be able to be monitored. Don't even try it.

Notes, and voice memos can also be monitored on Apple phones. Discord, TikTok, Skype, and Snapchat CANNOT be monitored on Apple phones. I hate apple phones, but this is one good situation. Only safari can be monitored on IoS (apple) phones.

On all computers they can monitor the above except for firefox. It will also monitor Microsoft Edge.

ALL of your google drives and google emails will be shared if it is on that device. If you have hidden emails on your devices, log out of them immediately.

They will recieve alerts if Bark thinks you are viewing porn, getting bullied, engaging with predators, or mention drugs in any way. Bark updates frequently about slang and "innapropriate" emojis.

It will almost constantly update your physical location.

Now. This is all pretty fucking shitty. How are some ways you can deal with the damage of such a privacy breach? Here's how:

Never write about suicidal ideation, self harm, nsfw, or drugs on your devices. Immediately delete any hate, and do NOT get into arguments online.

Do not search anything that you think could even *possibly* be blocked. They will get an alert immediately.

If you ever need to go somewhere you don't want them to know about? Turn off all of the devices on you.

A friend have an old phone that they are getting rid of? Ask if you can have it. There are many messaging apps you can download without a phone plan, you just can't send SMS messages or call people. Connect to the wifi if you need to use the phone. Hide this always, and do not use it at night as it poses the risk of you falling asleep with it. You can use this phone for social media, but if you do, log out of all of your other devices so they can't find it.

If you have IoS, only text when you DON'T have the wifi on, then delete any messages you need before turning wifi back on. Discord is fine for IoS

Do NOT try to remove bark. Your parents will automatically notified.

Try and go to the library more often if you want to log onto discord and chat freely. Make a new account and do not log in on devices Bark controls

Best of luck to you my mutual. It's going to be ok. So sorry you are going through this.

I GOT GROUNDED, THEY'RE TAKING MY PHONE AND PUTTING AN APP ON IT. REMOVE ME FROM ANY DISC SERVERS