#is because I have more
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Do you like big cocks
I don’t care about the size.
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in the hour or so it took me to draw this op turned reblogs off
EDIT: reblogs are STAYING OFF. op was right and correct and i have never regretted making a post as much as this one. if you want to reblog my art you can reblog something else from my blog. or commission me, lord knows i deserve financial compensation for the nightmare this post has put me through
#art#i had to block multiple people because of this post and i easily could have blocked more#do you guys have any idea how exhausting it is to hear 400 people make the exact same unfunny joke each thinking they're being original#or worry that another person might get harassed over a post i made because of the way people are talking about them#or be harassed/insulted YOURSELF because some people don't know how to fucking behave#you guys don't get reblogs back. you should be grateful i'm leaving the post up at all.
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Knowledge Revenge.
#dungeon meshi#chilchuk tims#senshi#Somewhat of an unofficial sequel to the Dragon Comic. I promise I have more versatility in my jokes. I just had to take this opportunity.#Senshi is pretty much a recluse. I think he would know a few of these 'gottems' but not all.#Chilchuck would know gottems that are nearly lost to time. The deep cuts. The ones that you fall for because they are that obscure.#I would also like to take a moment to confess that after the last comic in which I posed a gottem -#I fell victim to a Mind Goblin Attack. I was thoroughly got. I will be on higher alert this time.#So NOBODY be funny in the tags. I am gullible and I like to share things with my friends. Who are *ruthless*.#I have a mild resistance to Vicious Mockery at this point but I can only take so much.#Happy Thistle Thursday Everyone! See you next week!
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"The nonbinary afab who goes by she/her, dresses femininely, and uses a push-up bra when I—" when you what? What's wrong with her?
Is she not nonbinary enough for you? Is the way she experiences her queerness and how she presents not perfect enough for you? Nonbinary people don't owe you androgyny, right? So why is she the exception? Why does she have to hate herself to appeal to your standards? Why is she any less trans—any less worthy of respect—cause it's "not visible"? Queer solidarity my ass. Don't spout this bullshit on Pride, man.
#god I wish I was making this up#I wish I could make up ridiculous strawmen to get mad over#to purely have this be something I conjured up#because that'd be so much more bearable#lewis' ramblings#transgender#trans community#nonbinary#transfemme#transfem#LGBT#queer#lgbtq#tucute#lgbtqia#pride month
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i did wrestling in middle school. on one hand, i was actually quite good at it, which was nice. being good at any sport was a new achievement for me. on the other hand, i was bi, and i was trying very hard not to notice that i was bi, and getting folded into knots by very kind, very muscular dorks made that task somewhat difficult.
adding fire to the problem was that my parents and my grandparents wanted to watch my matches, because they were very proud that their Gangly Nerd Son was actually Sporting, and they wanted to cheer me on. which would've been sweet and all, but if there are four people you do not want there during a key part of your Burgeoning Sexual Awakening, it is your mom and your dad and your grandma and your grandpa.
right? i mean, imagine some guy's got your head in his armpit, and you're going you know, old sweat smells bad, but fresh sweat has a sort of and then you make eye contact with your grandpa in the stands and you remember you're swearing spandex so if you pop a boner people aren't just going to be able to see the outline, they're going to be able to count the veins, and the only way you will be able to restore your family's honor after that would be by moving to siberia and renouncing joy, forever. that, or lift your entire body up by your kneck then twist 180 degrees without paralyzing yourself.
it’s a lot of pressure, is what i’m saying.
still it did motivate me to win my matches really fast. because i was so tall and skinny, i was stupidly good at the double leg takedown, and then once someone was knocked down, i'd just do the half nelson and kind of flip em over for the pin. then the ref would count to three and i’d win. EZPZ.
i had one match where that went great. won in the first ten seconds, sat back down, and prepared myself for a good hour or two of doing fuck all. didn't even feel bad the parents/grandparents were gonna be bored. the matches went up from me in 5 pound increments (i was in the 115 lbs division) and it was going great until we got to the 145 lbs division. the other school's wrestler stepped onto the mat, and she turned out to be a girl so our guy flipped, because for straight guys, wrestling a girl is not a pleasant experience.
i'm not entirely unsympathetic. my experience wrestling dudes was definitely a little traumatic. but also, i dealt. guy could've dealt too. instead, he refused to wrestle, and the coach went - fine. not even worth fighting over.
so he went to the 140 pounder, and that guy said, nosir, my mom said mormons can't wrestle girls. next guy down, 135 pounder, now he knew he could pull the same card and thus did. 130 pounder, 125, both tapped out. he got to the 120 guy, and that guy was catholic, but he said he was considering being mormon, and thus would have to pass. as a precaution.
coach blew up a little at that. he said "is there anyone - anyone - on this entire goddamn team that is willing to wrestle a girl?" and then he pointed at me and said "YOU. MAT. GO."
and i'll be real, if i'd been paying more attention, i'd have pulled the mormon card too, but i'd just been putting all that audio into a buffer file because i was reading, so i was halfway across the mat before i even processed what had been said and by then it was too late to turn back.
still i had a plan. and my plan - my beautiful, perfect plan - was to do what i'd always done. tackle, flip, pin, win. sit down. read. bore my family to death. move on.
i got the first part right. she was bigger than me, but she wasn't taller. just an incredibly stout woman. god built me like a snake with glasses, just as he built her like a combat cube. the problem was the half nelson. soon as she was down, i tried hooking my arm under hers from behind and for both genders, the defense for this move is just clamping your arms really fucking tight against your sides. if you're a guy, that's whatever, but if you're a girl - especially if you're god's chosen combat cube - that pins your opponents hand right against your boob.
so, i got the hook in, she clamped, my whole arm pressed against something soft, my coach was yelling THE HALF NELSON. BABYLON! JUST FINISH IT! FINISH THE HALF NELSON! and i was just trying to press hard enough to finish, when then my brain went
...oh.
and i flipped out. of course i flipped out. i like girls, and touching a boob is an elemental experience, and i was not ready. i was not prepared. i had not committed the sacred rites. i recoiled like i'd just brushed my arm against the surface of the sun, stood up, and backed away. nobody in the room knew why i'd given up. all they saw was me, right about to win, suddenly flailing around and scrambling. so everyone started screaming at me to just get the half nelson again, and i couldn't really yell back there's a fuckin' boob in the way and it was very distressing, and the only way i could think of to make them stop was just doing it over again the right way.
so i did.
i hunkered down and prepared myself for Wrasslin' Attempt #2: The Sequel.
i knocked her down again, EZPZ. i went for the half nelson again, but she knew what i was about to do so she super clamped, and i knew she was gonna super clamp, so i wound my arm back like a pop-eye cartoon punch before swinging my arm through the gap between her bicep and her side, but the amount of time i spent winding back super signalled what i was about to to do, which gave her time to clamp even harder, which somehow redirected the entire force of the popeye punch to the bottom of her bra.
it spat out a single boob the same way an action hero might spit out one single tooth after getting a solid crack across the jaw. as if to say:
*ptooie.* "that all you got?"
i did not actually see this. my experience was that first there was an arm, then there was a bit of boob, but i was braced, i was ready, forward at all costs, tatakae motherfuckers, and then the boob went away, and i didn't know where it went but my team, and the audience, and everyone who was in front of me, they all gasped like i just kicked them in the stomach. except for my coach. he was behind me, and thus one of the four people in the room who did not see the boob. now my mom, my dad, my grandma, and my grandpa, they all got flashed but nooooooo, coach thunderbutt was behind me, and he didn't see shit so he was still yelling NOOOOOO BABYLON WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUST FINISH THE NELSON! GO FOR THE KILL! BABYLON! BABYLON!
but i did not go for the kill. i stood up and she stuffed her boob back real fast, and we just kind of circled each other awkwardly until time ran out and i won on points. that's not technically allowed, but the ref had some mercy on me.
my coach did not.
i barely had time to sit down before he strode over to the bench to chew me out.
"babylon," he said, in that very calm way people get when they're too pissed to yell. "why didn't you pin?"
and i didn't know how to say well coach, i tried, but there was a boob, and it kept getting in the way, and my mom was watching, and so was my dad, and so was his dad, and his mom, and god (like bible god) and that's a can of worms because i'm pretty sure he was already mad at me, and i'm wearing spandex, and i think i might have to move to siberia, so instead i said
"i uh. i forgot how to do the half nelson."
which is actually impossible. forgetting how to do the half nelson is like forgetting how to swallow your spit.
and he looked at me, like i was the dumbest person in the entire world, and i looked through him like i'd just survived my 250th day in a trench at verdun, and he said: fine.
fine.
but we're all going to practice it for an hour tomorrow because you forgot.
and then he left.
and my buddies had the gall to be salty about it. i got so many comments saying "dude, why didn't you just tell him the truth?" and i said "you can if you care so damn much. you could've wrestled the girl too. maybe someone else should do the hard thing today."
but they didn't. so the next day, we did an hour of half nelson drills, and i spent a decent amount of time getting thrown around the mat, and it was pleasant in exactly the way that i hated and the year after that, to the surprise of everyone but myself, i quit wrestling and joined the trivia team.
and if you want more reasons to love my mom, my grandpa joked after the match that i might have to talk to my bishop about it, and my mom told him he would be allowed to make jokes after he stood in front of a crowd of 110 people in spandex underpants while wrestling a woman that was not his wife.
he paused for almost five seconds after that. then he said: aw. hell. sorry babylon.
and i'd have preferred my apology from god, but getting it from him was pretty good too.
#whew boy this make me anxious just typing it#wrestling#middle school#the dread#i feel like i have to write some stories about my grandpa not being a dick#because he was actually an amazing grandpa#he just had a few goofs are very comedic moments#and you know if you're gonna have a goof making it comedic is a virtue in itself#he was there for me more than a lot of my classmates dads were#and i dont want that undervalued#yeah#babylon-lore
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“long hair on guys doesn’t make them less masculine. think keanu reeves, jason momoa, danny trejo, or the guy at your local dive bar who rides a motorcycle”
*the crowd nods*
“so long hair doesn’t necessarily determine masculinity”
*the crowd, more hesitant, still nodding*
“butches can have long hair��“
*GUNSHOT*
#the tedtalk i would give if i could#if i see ‘they’re not butch because they have long hair’ one more time i will flip a table#frustrating frustrating frustrating#also this is NOT in any way a knock on my short haired butches ily#op#bestof
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#funny talking tag#My favorite thing to do is HC characters as trans but also that they've never heard that term before and act accordingly.#My other favorite thing to do is make characters repressed.#My other other favorite thing to do is make a character go ''I feel like a(n) object/animal/thing pretending to be a man/woman''#''but I don't really care about that right now I have a job''#Anyway while this post can be about whichever characters you feel fit I made this with a certain character in mind.#(Dimentio of SPM fame) (He has something really specific going on that makes me cackle) (You can ask me about it)#(Also Morceau Oleander is a trans woman to me because she would be happier)#(and she deserves to live a life not defined by other's expectations of her)#Someone put a forbidden and ancient curse on this post so no more.
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sometimes I randomly think about the time a girl posted in this girls only Facebook group I’m in telling everyone how she broke up with her boyfriend and he lied saying that he lost the spare key she gave him, only to then break into her apartment when she wasn’t home and steal the cat they’d adopted while they were together, but then he denied having done this and she didn’t really have proof that he took the cat since he wouldn’t let her come into his place and look for it. And then another girl saw this post and knew her ex-boyfriend, and she was like “girl. I used to hook up with your mans back in xxxx and I still have his number. If you want, I’ll hit him up and get him to invite me back to his place and see if your cat’s there.” And the OP was like “bet.”
So this woman hit up homie dog, asked him out for drinks, went home with him, slept with him, and then woke up in the middle of the night and TOOK THE CAT. Like she had only said that she would confirm if the cat was there but then she took it upon herself to steal this woman’s cat back. Like she full on Trojan horsed this man and then hit up homegirl like “I got the goods. Where you wanna meet.” And then the two of them posted a photo of them together with the cat to the group.
And I just think women supporting women is so beautiful.
#the best part of all is that I also knew the ex boyfriend because he worked at this place my friend was the manager of#and I texted my friend like ‘yo have you heard about this cat situation’#and she was like ‘I swear to god if one more person asks me about this fucking cat’#it was the drama of the century#the whole city was up in arms over this cat
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Saw someone on twt say they wanted to see Percy drawn like Yusuf Dikec and I couldn't help myself
#My art#Critical Role#Critical Role fanart#Vox Machina#Percy de Rolo#I have not drawn CR fanart in a hot minute but that tweet activated me like a sleeper agent#Also I think I got the little lore stuff right? I almost put Whitestone on the shirt but I looked and Whitestone becomes part of Tal'Dorei#So I think this is technically more right#Someone correct me if I'm wrong and I'll change it. because it WILL bother me if I'm wrong#Edit: I decided it's fine as is#Unless god himself (Matthew Mercer) comes down and tells me how the Olympics would work in Exandria I'm leaving it like this
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(ID in ALT Text) Happy very, very late Mother's Day!
I am not saying that zuko is sokkas substitute for kya. or they look in any way similar! The whole concept here is that something was happening at the moment, be it how they were laying in bed, how the hair pooled over the pillow, or how sokka was able to hold onto it. It just brought sokka back. It triggered a memory, and suddenly he relived a brief memory. Making him suddenly miss his mother again. hope you enjoy!
#atla#sokka#zuko#zukka#kya#tiny sokka!#tiny sokka deserves his own tag#come on he is adorable!#local artist that hates drawing hair ends up drawing A LOT OF HAIR#reason why i was late is mostly because i actually got mom mom something#sorry dad fictive mom my vary real living mom was just this tat bit more important ;;;#yes sokka inherited most of the other jewlery kya owned#i just think thats fair!!!#i am to 100% i notice something that i forgot later on when its posted but i don't have anymore energy anymore to fix it...
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the amount of ways we have to qualify the geoncide in gaza in order to get people to care is actually sickening to me. “it’s a feminist issue!” “it’s a disabilities issue!” “it’s an environmental issue!” like i’m sorry but even if this was happening solely to able bodied men and was causing no harm to the environment, it would still be wrong because it’s a genocide and these people are being bombed and killed and starved every fucking day. you shouldn’t need an extra label to give you a reason to care about people that are dying.
#i just keep seeing more and more posts like that and it’s just. yes it is those things you’re right#but i hate that that’s how we have to get people to care#you shouldn’t have to use sjw buzzwords to get people to care#you should care because there are people dying by the thousands at israel’s hand#free palestine#greatest hits
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switcheroo
part two
#yes starscream still wants to be leader of the decepticons he just has soundwave’s personality about it now#these two are so funny to me#soundwave#starscream#skywarp#megatron#casseticons#transformers#maccadam#fanart#tf soundwave#tf starscream#the ONLY gripe I have with drawing soundwave is I can’t usually mess with his expressions as much as I’d like to#because he’s so blucking stoic#SO THIS WAS A BLAST#I N. NEEED MORE SOUNDWAVE ART
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#over the past few months I have finally started to maybe care about their college years#as in I've given it some more attention#simply because I thought more about how ford reflects on college#it's a very interesting part I like to give to his character#anyways that's unrelated from this post#scribbles#gravity falls#ford pines#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddauthor
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I have some questions about karaoke night, Alex Hirsch. Very Important Questions. Which I will happily scream at a poor hapless baby triangle who can have no answers for me, and possibly also does not have object permanence yet.
Follow-up that is I guess suggestive, but let's be real here, Bill's a fucking triangle:
Dude slipped right into his birthday suit, lmao
this is so stupid :D
Anyway, I don't care what anyone says, this brilliant individual knows what's up - Bill is absolutely way more of a monsterfucker than Ford could or ever will be, full stop.
#fanart#billford#bill cipher#stanford pines#gravity falls#book of bill#i watched gravity falls because i was curious about all the Toxic Old Man Yaoi on my dash and wanted context#turns out most of the context was in the book of bill tho lmao#look they either banged or married or both while drunk and i will accept no other possibilities#you don't use the phrase 'and one thing led to another' in a PRIVATE JOURNAL if what happened wasn't salacious in some way#i mean - ford didn't exactly grow up in The Most Inclusive Time Period???#dude was probably like 'gotta use this wording for plausible deniability - NO ONE can know i boinked the talking triangle'#in other news - i must bully the baby billy#don't know how much more GF stuff i'll toss up here but i have a few other little scribbles in the works. probably won't color them tho lol#also don't ask me why bill's bowtie stays where it is despite his “pants” being under it. just. just fucking don't ok???#EDIT: oh and since i see this a lot in this fandom for some reason: DO NOT REPOST THIS PLZ K THX :D
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are we still doing this because i have a late submission
#🐉#this is less about fan content and more about that awful lazy one size fits all#'10 years later theyre happily married with a cute little nuclear family' trope#because ive read some genuinely incredible fics about characters who would Not fucking have kids#ending up with accidental pregnancy scares or child acquisitions that get treated with all the nuance#and thoughtful handling they deserve#but also. i reread one of my favourite fics yesterday and when one character jokingly brought up the idea of children#and the other reacted with genuine visceral disgust and said what hideously awful parents theyd be#i lit up like a fucking christmas tree
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the werewolf stan is amazing btw thank you
No, thank you!!! In fact, here's more just because you sent this ask (and probably the other one too, I love you)!!!!! More!!!!!!!!
They are liars <3
Part one is here!! ;P
Part three is here!! 'cause I can't control myself 😔
#I wasn't gonna make more but asks give me so much power 🙏#werewolf stan and vampire fidds........ save me werewolf stan and vampire fidds...#they're so silly i love them 🙏#cole's art#art#gravity falls#grunkle stan#stanley pines#fiddlestan#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#werewolf stan pines#werewolf stan#werewolf#vampire fiddleford#i love werewolves guys you don't know the being that has been unleashed because other people like my werewolf art 🙏#mullet stan#i love mullet stan pines he's....... he's just so fine#gravity falls halloween au#cause i have no control over myself 😔
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