#is absolutely abysmal

[sandwich247]

The software that they use is so old, bespoke, broken, and has a million different extra thingies added on after the fact by different companies that all probably no longer exist which makes it exceedingly slow and painful to use and that’s on top of everything that they have to do every day to keep the waiting lists down

If I had full, unilateral control over every aspect of every medical system on the planet, as well as having infinite resources and an infinite pool of people to hire from, average patient seeing times would be changed from 10 minutes to an hour for the average person with longer appointments available when necessary

Each doctor and nurse would have 2 assistants who would be (well paid and) trained on proper note keeping and doing all of the ancillary administrative tasks that are necessary

Anything less means that things that really should be seen to will be missed because of all the extra stuff that they have to do, and the way things are just now, they have to do everything with all the extra stuff and see so many patients every day - it’s not feasible to have them do what they’re doing and still provide any real good quality of care. That they’re able to do what they’re doing just now is nothing short of a miracle 

Favorite part of seeing a new doctor: when they ask about birth control

Doctor: Sexually active?

Me: I'm over 35 and have a toddler, so we'll say yes but it's really more of an aspirational thing.

D: Hormonal birth control?

M: No.

D: Are you trying to get pregnant?

M: Ha, no, once was more than enough.

D: Barrier method?

M: Just the aforementioned toddler, so no.

D: If you don't want to get pregnant, you really should be using some form of birth control.

M: Oh, I am. I find that the absence of fallopian tubes is extremely effective.

D: o___o checks my record Oh. Right.

M: >:-}

[justaz]

i know this post has probably been made a million times but i cannot get this scenario out of my head

for whatever reason, merlin gets dragged into like training or sparring or a competition or whatever the point is, he has a sword in hand and is to fight against someone. arthur and the knights aren’t really expecting anything to come of this, they know merlin doesn’t really fight. but for some reason he does, maybe arthur made a comment and merlin wanted to prove him wrong, maybe it’s a challenge/trap and it’s life or death, idk but merlin picks up the sword and fights

and all of a sudden, the knights aren’t watching a scrawny serving boy swinging a sword around, they’re watching a carbon copy of their king, of arthur, dancing with his opponent, his sword an extension of his own being, arthur’s own personal moves and techniques are executed flawlessly, merlin even smirks and taunts his opponent the same way arthur does with an uneven curl of his lips and raising a hand to beckon them forward

perhaps its from training with arthur one on one for years mixed with the countless hours he spends on the edge of the training grounds watching arthur and only arthur follow the same exact dance but merlin quite literally is arthur in that moment, a brilliant, deadly swordsman with unexpected grace and an easy victory

[dreemurr-skelememer]

can you draw canon dream and resetmare(the little guy)

saying familiar, oddly comforting words

[exephrine]

happy birthday soma thank you for altering my brain chemistry

[aquared]

my bad

[whirliko]

if ur posting early access cc, the very least you should do is tag it correctly

[magicalgirlmascot]

I think the funniest possible version of "everyone in Bionicle is aroace" is "everyone in Bionicle is aroace except for Matau"

[akkivee]

for the life of me didn’t have the words to articulate at all why mtc vs bat is very likely, esp since all the divisions are roughly on the same page so here i am trying it again lmao

but both teams experienced an individual change in each member’s life paths, whereas the other divisions more or less experienced a change in team dynamics. juto put it real easy lol, but they’ve come to realise their violence, influence and armed combat aren’t what they need to change their country, when that’s been their fuel this entire time

and for bat, kuukou’s determined to guide humanity out of their cycle of karma, despite previously not expressing that desire, jyushi believes in people again when he became a shut in before bc he became afraid of people, and hitoya is now willing to judge by actions rather than the person that does the action, something that’s always led him to decide to ruin lives

[club-prideguin]

rookie's hellish morning breakfast, from my dream last night.

[fried-manto]

Love birds fr

[bookwyrminspiration]

Fitz would be so bad at booping because he would stop pressing the button :(

Petition to get Fitz a giant wrapping paper tube so that he can still participate via whacking people on the head

sign here:

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

MRS. PIGGY HAS AN UGLY SWEATER! I REPEAT: MRS. PIGGY HAS AN UGLY SWEATER!

it's baggy in the wrong places and overall Not Very Good! but that's to be expected seeing as i've never crocheted a sweater before, let alone one for a stuffed animal (and i had to kinda bullshit the pattern, seeing as it was made for a more proportional/bigger aminal). i'm proud of it. she looks nice and cozy for the coming winter months

[bonebabbles]

God the new ultimate guide sucks

It's not JUST the awful art, either. The art's just worth mentioning because even if the book's info had been terrible or contained nothing new, really cute art can make it still worth having.

But, no, it's even full of recycled lines we've been hearing for years like "Bramblestar Can Match Squirrelflight's Fire Not Contain It," and that's when it DOES get everything right. These entries leave out major, important details (making them bad summaries) and are sometimes even straight-up incorrect.

SUMMARY THOUGHTS

Leafpool is said to have watched Brambleclaw kill Hawkfrost to save Firestar-- but for one, no, she was not there because Ashfur was still leading her and Squilf towards the scene. For two, no, Brambleclaw did not kill Hawkfrost just to save Firestar, it was self-defense. Hawkfrost had him pinned and was going to kill him.

They're REAL cute about Leafpool's death, too, neglecting to mention WHY the Sisters needed to be saved at all and just saying Leafpool's "generosity" lead to her death in that cave-in.

I'm not even going to get into everything on Bramble's entry jesus christ.

Sagewhisker's entry is ESPECIALLY fucken' dandy, framing Yellowfang's Secret like she was simply waiting patiently for Yellow to realize her 'destiny' and not actively shoving it on her at every opportunity.

Leopardstar's entry states that romantic interest in Tigerstar was part of her motivation. "Perhaps she'd hoped he would be her mate" please speak to a woman irl for once in your life.

Gray Wing's entry forgot that the reason he "blamed himself" for Bright Stream's death is because he was literally staring at his big strong brother too much and tripped on a root in front of him. It IS his fault she died.

Clear Sky/Skystar's entry is just obscene. "He regretted abandoning his son and after a fire, he encouraged him to live with him" instead of "saw his teenage child was useful now and bullied and belittled the kid and his uncle into letting Thunder come with him." "Retaining his fierceness towards his cats and outsiders which caused his son to leave" instead of "murdering, brutalizing, and abusing everyone around him caused Thunder to leave." I'll just say this tho; "Fierce" is an interesting way to spell "Cruel."

It's interesting that they don't point out that a major part of Jagged Peak's arc was proving he was "Just As Good" as every other cat in spite of his disability, thanks to his introduced-and-pregnant-in-the-same-book wife becoming his life coach, only earning Clear Sky's respect after being allowed to physically lead a patrol in Blazing Star. Instead they frame him finding his place through taking care of kits, which... was something he seemed to resent in the actual series, considering how the books suddenly treat Gray Wing's protective treatment of him as a terrible thing in Blazing Star because he "didn't give him a chance". But at the same time I actually strongly dislike Jagged Peak and his messy, frustrating character arc so I'm not really UPSET with it. Just... noting it. I suppose this is the official direction they're taking away from it?

Shadowstar's entry is barely even 3 paragraphs yikes.

SHORT STORY THOUGHTS

And if you're wondering if the 4 brand new stories they smooshed into the end in a desperate attempt to make the rush job worth buying are good? No. Of course not. They're all slop.

Story 1: Firestar and Graystripe

First one's a marginally cute story about Graystripe and Firestar which is setting up the framing device linking the mini-tales together. They both remember this situation where Firestar fell into a ditch wrong. The punchline is that Thunderstar remembers it perfectly and they're both like, "WOW! Too bad Thunderstar's memory sucks!"

It's not terrible, but it does feel a bit pointless. But, hey, if you want more Firestar and Graystripe in the series that tosses them fanservice at every turn, who am I to judge?

Story 2: Dovewing and Ivypool

The next one is the Dovewing/Ivypool reconciliation passage everyone's talking about. It's... fine, but immensely dissatisfying to me.

Dovewing is apparently having problems adjusting to her Clan, grapples a little bit with the fact she has no friends but is going to be finding meaning in helping tigerHeartstar "bring the new ShadowClan into existence." She ultimately decides that she needs to talk to her sister, and begs for reassurance that Ivypool believes in her, feeling that her support can help her get through this difficult time in her life.

I think its biggest problem is that Dovewing was not the right choice for the POV here.

Dove was never the one responsible for the rift in their relationship. Ivypool is. Ivypool is the one who was jealous, willing to sabotage anything that would put Dovewing closer to Tigerheart, and continues to be generally aggressive towards her. So when Dovewing is reaching out to Ivypool in hopes of them reconciling, it feels wrong because Ivypool is the one that should be reaching out to Dovewing. SHE is the one who has some things to apologize for, and to show how much she loves and misses her.

It's even kind of frustrating, because Dovewing can never catch a break. She has to have these problems to force her to reach out, Ivypool even ends up suggesting that she leave and come home and take her kids with her, but in the end even a LITTLE bit of assurance from her aggressive sister helps.

I feel super bad for Dovewing, man. She deserves better than this cheap writing. What was the point of such an unsatisfying, rushed reconciliation, shoved into a crummy field guide, when we KNOW from the newest book that they're just going to use tension between them as part of the drama anyway?

shouldn't have even been written, imo. Even ends off with, "They'll always have each other :)" which is so... cliche. It's TIRED. Are any of you really happy with just getting a retconned platitude in a good-for-nothing field guide, instead of seeing complicated, INTERESTING feelings in a main book?

Story 3: Alderheart and Twigbranch

A tale of Cherryfall getting sick during TBC and Alderheart sneaks back into the territory to treat her. Also Crowfeather has a scene where he yells at him. Charming.

Twigbranch comes up with a diversion while Alderheart does his work, which is cute. It's a fine story.

Story 4: Clear Sky

Trash. Three dogs spawn in the middle of a gathering so that Skystar can have an uwu big boy sendoff saving his grandkit. Then he goes to StarClan and throws a fit because they can't give him ANOTHER life, becoming so upset that he attacks the nearest woman. Naturally, Shadowstar brushes it off because it's not the first time Clear Sky has pummeled her in the midst of an adult tantrum and this book series thinks violence is fine if their favorite sadboy does it.

Then Gray Wing brings him to the magic mirror pool where you can see the living, to confirm that Star Flower is ok and that makes him feel better.

Then it launches into Firestar saying "ouuuugh yum I LOVE the taste of his butthole. Clear Sky is so misunderstood, He Just Loved Too Much."

to which Graystripe responds, "Yes, he was a good and amazing person and his farts smells SO good, and can you believe that some people think StarClan punished his Clan for his arrogance? As if he ever did anything wrong, ever?"

Firestar, indignant, refutes it with, "Ugh!! StarClan would NEVER be interesting, we don't punish living cats we just float around and make vague, frustrating prophecies that do nothing but pad the word count. Why cant ppl understand that, gosh."

who wrote this? Gray Wing??

[dailykugisaki]

Day 223 | id in alt

Maki thinking some very unsorcererly things over a piece of damn cheesecake.

(Read from right to left💥)

[bird-pokemon-showdown]

everyone look at the parakeet my mom found just randomly at her work and brought home

[blueberry-obsessed]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers! Spread the self-love 💞

DARCY IN MY ASKS YAYYYYY

Thank you for the ask, love <3 I've been itching to talk about writing for the past week or so

Caught up in rumours (I bet you wish you knew the truth) is my favourite. I think maybe it's because it's my most recent one but I still think about it often. It's fluffy, it's sweet, and they're both idiots in love. I feel like with this one, I finally did the idea in my head justice. (I'm also still riding the high of the compliment @starrwrrld gave me on this fic yesterday!! YOURE AN ACTUAL SWEETHEART SAM) Anyhow, sapphic lestappen are my babies. I fluff up their pillows, tuck them into bed every night, give them warm milk, and read them bedtime stories

Trying to Choke Down the Feeling (Bubbling Up Like the Champagne on Your Skin) Okay, I have a love-hate relationship with this one because I know I could have done so much more but at the same time I feel like I did too much. But it's the first fic I ever wrote (I got shy and didn't post it), and therefore, it is my baby. I will cradle it to sleep even if it is sleeping on the floor

You're just so sweet Do I have a reason to like this fic? Not really, I think the formatting is a bit weird, and I could do better. Does it have sapphic lestappen? Yes. Is that the sole reason it's on this list? ...No further questions, your honour. (This fic gets its own room with a fully stocked snack cabinet and the fluffiest pillows known to man, but the windows are locked and permanently sealed because I don't trust it)

I just want you to do me no good (And you look like you could) The only reason this unfinished amalgamation has been put out into the world is because @marieshyperf1xations enabled me. And it's self-indulgent as fuck. Was it remotely near Christmas time when I started writing it? Uh, no, it was actually mid-February. Have I ever celebrated Christmas ever? No, dude, I'm so lost with this one. Will I finish it around Christmas time? God, I hope so. "Go lay down in bed, sweetie. I'll come tuck you in!" "Mum!!! It's midnight. You still haven't shown up :("

I'd do anything to make this memory stay I'll be so real, I have no idea what this is. Royalty AUs are to die for, though, and I wanted to try my hand at it. It's not long enough to be anything substantial, but I think it's cute, and at the end of the day, fluff is all that matters.