#irrationally scared of aging

[thebluebygracieabrams]

i don't feel like studying any of the subjects from The Plan rn but everything else is so boring that i also don't want to waste time on like watching content or something and i would rather switch subjects then give up on studying for the day and by old me standards ive already done enough but new me i still feel like i can do more but i don't know what ughhhhh this is torture

[littlejoels]

request: Hi lovely person ! Could I request an angst to fluff piece with Joel miller? So I was thinking.. we always see Dbf! Joel smut, but I would really like something angsty with that trope. Maybe something along the lines of the reader and Joel being together in secret because you know being scared of judgment because of the age gap and stuff and not the father finding out. But then there's this woman, more to Joel's age coming into the picture, making reader insecure thinking she's not enough and too young and naive but in the end all turns out good? I'm a sucker for angst loll" word count: 1,2k warnings: cursing!

you were supposed to be past this by now. the self-doubt. the little pinpricks of anxiety you never used to feel before joel. the kind that bloom right in your chest; it hadn’t always been this bad. at the start, it had been electric—hiding, sneaking, the way his hands used to shake the first time he touched you like he couldn’t believe what he was doing. what you were letting him do.

but that was when it was new. now it’s just uncertain.

you came home early. you tell yourself you’re doing it to surprise him, but deep down, it’s selfish. you missed him, wanted to see him and hear that voice all rough and possessive. you were gonna kiss his neck and make him groan like he always does when you wrap your arms around his middle from behind.

but, once you get there, the front door’s already open. maybe he forgot to close it all the way? no way not joel.

within that small moment of you questioning why the door was open, you hear his sweet laugh and a woman’s voice.

you freeze in the entryway, sneakers still on, keys tight in your hand. you see them before they see you.

he was in the kitchen, leaning on the island like he lives here. it’s an image you always love—him comfortable in your house. like it’s his too. but next to him is her. she’s got one elbow on the counter, her whole body tilted toward him, her legs crossed while she’s laughing at something he just said, flipping her shiny brown hair off her shoulder with practiced ease.

your throat goes dry seeing him grin widely at her..he was yours for fucks sake.

your feet move before your brain decides where to go. you make a little too much noise, keys clattering on the hallway table, and the door clicks harder behind you than it should. you know you should smile. a joke, maybe? just say something.

joel turns around fast at the sound.

“hey, baby,” he says, but it’s careful, like he’s trying to read your mood before you’ve even said a word. he straightens up, steps away from the island.

the woman turns to you too. she’s prettier up close, older too. just right..like if he wasn’t with you, she’d be the natural fit. not your frayed little heart that’s too young to have any right wanting something this serious.

“hi,” you say, and it’s clipped and fake.

you try not to look at him. because you know if you do, it’ll all show. how suddenly, irrationally fucking insane your brain’s gotten.

joel must see it anyway, because his eyes narrow, not angry. just—watching, somewhat worried. the older woman pushes off the counter, smoothly. “i should head out,” she says, glancing at joel. “thanks for the help. you’re a lifesaver.”

joel nods, kind of tight-lipped now. “no problem. let me know if it doesn’t start again.” she smiles at you on the way past. you can’t bring yourself to return it. your face feels frozen in place.

joel waits until the door clicks behind her before he speaks.

“you good?” you’re still standing by the entryway, arms crossed like you were cold.

“who was that?” you ask, and it comes out cooler than you meant.

he runs a hand through his hair, sighs, steps toward you, rushing out the words. “her name’s elena. neighbor’s cousin. she’s in town for a bit; had some car trouble.”

you blink at his simple explanation. “oh.”

he studies you. “okay darlin', what’s goin’ on in that pretty head of yours?”

you almost laugh—but it’s bitter and sharp in your throat.

you walk past him toward the living room, not sure what you’re doing. you feel stupid, childish, pathetic. and still—you can’t stop. it’s gnawing at you. inside your chest, inside your bones.

you don’t sit down, just turn to face him.

“nothing. just…she’s pretty and normal. and probably not some big secret.”

he flinches. “what the hell does that mean?”

you wrap your arms tighter around yourself. “you know what it means. i’m the one you sneak around with. the one you don’t talk about. and then i walk in and you’re laughing with her like..like you’re not ashamed to be seen with her.”

his jaw works, tightens, then softens again.

“ashamed?” he echoes, incredulous. “is that what you think this is?”

you don’t answer. you just keep going because now that you’ve started it, it’s like you can’t stop. every thought you’ve shoved down in the last few months starts rising like bile in your throat.

“sometimes i just wonder how long this’ll last, you know? how long before you realize i’m too much or not enough. that this is all some dumb phase and you’re just waiting for a reason to bail. like maybe you wake up one day and look at me and wonder what the fuck you’re doing wasting time with some girl barely out of college who still calls her dad to ask how to fix her tires.”

joel walks to you, leans over you in an endearing manner. “hey..hey..look at me.”

you don’t want to. your eyes are wet and you feel like an idiot. but he cups your face in both hands, rough thumbs brushing your cheeks, and you have no choice.

he leans down, rests his forehead against yours.

“i love you,” he says. “i’m not goin’ anywhere. and don’t you ever—ever—talk about yourself like that again.”

your lip trembles as his grip tightens.

“you think i don’t wish i could take you everywhere? shout it from the rooftops that you’re mine? i do, baby. every fuckin’ day. i just…” he sighs, jaw clenching again. “i worry, alright? i know how people see me. old enough to know better. and you? you’re this bright, gotdamn beautiful thing, and i don’t wanna drag you down into all my mess.”

you shake your head, fast, angry now. “you don’t get to decide that for me, joel.”

he smiles fondly, even with the tension thick between you.

“i know. you keep remindin’ me. but this? this ain’t a fling. you’re not some secret i’m ashamed of. you’re the best thing in my life, i swear.”

you swallow. “then why does it feel like you’re always waiting for it to fall apart?”

he pulls you in—both arms around you, holding you so tight it aches. his lips press to your hair.

“’cause i don’t deserve you. but i’m selfish enough to keep you anyway.”

you squeeze your eyes shut, burying your face in his chest.

his voice rumbles in your ear. “you’re not too young. you’re not too much. you’re not anything but exactly what i want. every second. every day.”

you’re quiet a long time. his hand strokes your back comforting you.

“you smiled at her,” you whisper. “like it was easy to do.”

he leans back, just enough to look at you. “and you smile at bartenders when they spell your name right on your smoothies. doesn’t mean you wanna fuck ‘em.”

you snort against your will.

he grins. “see? there she is.”

you wrap your arms around his waist and hold on tight.

“i hate how much i love you,” you mumble into his shirt.

“nah,” he mutters, kissing your temple. “you love how much you love me.”

you roll your eyes, but you don’t let go. and never will.

special tags: @inbred-eater , @wintfleur , @lowrisemiller

[agalychnisspranneusroseus]

I know the usual role swap AU has Marcy in Wartwood, Anne in Toad Tower and Sasha in Newtopia but I think it's be hilarious to see Sasha in Wartwood, Marcy in Toad Tower and Anne in Newtopia.

Andrias encourages Anne's worst vices, her selfishness and laziness. He just gives her a room and infinite money and lets her do whatever she wants, facing no consequences for her actions whatsoever because all Andrias cares about is using her as bait for her two more competente friends to come looking for. Only thing in her favor is that she DOES have the Calamity Box, which she gives to Andrias without question as soon as he promises to send her back home. Problem is that it's uncharged, and Anne at this point is too useless to do anything about it, so he, alongside Lady Olivia, have to keep up with this spoiled brat, forcing fake smiles and praying that her friends show up soon. He even sends Yunnan to go find them, because this weird annoying alien kid is causing disasters in the city every two days and all Andrias can think about is "jeez now I remember why I never had children".

Marcy in Toad Tower has a very Entrapta-Hordak kind of relationship with Grime (without the romance) in the sense that she's too enthralled by the wonders of Amphibia to be scared. She might not have the social abilities Sasha has but she DOES have an extensive knowledge of Age of Empires types of games, her strategies are UNMATCHED. While she is terrified during the first two weeks, while she's locked in a cell (this is NOT what her isekai fantasy looked like in her head), she soon proves her usefulness when she yells strategic advice from behind bars, demanding to be let out because she NEEDS to be in that war meeting! That strategy won't work! She saw it in an a dozen different animes, she knows how this ends! Though she's not very aware of the brutal reality of Toad Tower - she really just thinks she ended up with a cool warrior order she's helping defeat their enemies.

But Sasha in Wartwood takes the cake. If she ends up with the Plantars like Anne, she's an absolute menace for Sprig and Polly because she's one hell of a bad influence. Hop Pop takes it as a challenge - he thinks she wants to force him to kick her out, and he won't give her what she wants! Plus he's very aware of the ways in which she tries to manipulate his grandchildren and he won't allow it! Every time she gets them in trouble on purpose she has to do a full day of farm work, or to clean Bessie's stables. It's his way of telling her he can see straight through her bullshit and he won't tolerate it. If she wants to turn his kids into little delinquents she will have to get through him first! She probably becomes closer to Polly than Sprig, Sprig being a bit too much of a goody two shoes to follow half of her plans, while Polly is a natural troublemaker that joins in to whatever mischief Sasha comes up with. Though seeing Polly, a small child, continue to get in trouble and suffer the consequences for Sasha's actions, kind of triggers her more protective insticts. The moment Hop Pop realized she was making progress was when he saw her admit, in front of the whole town, that she was responsible for whatever trouble they had earlier, and she only did that because she felt responsible for Polly.

Btw she gets sooooo irrationally mad when Hop Pop gets a girlfriend and encourages Sprig's frustration, whispering like a devil in his ear that this is how it starts: first he gets a girlfriend, then you stop being his priority and suddenly he has new kids and a new family and you're not part of it. Trust me, buddy, single dads getting girlfriends is bad news. We should push her into the river!

Though I do wonder if it'd be even funnier if she ended up with someone you would never expect, like Mrs. Croaker. This old woman has her clean and cook for her all day long while complaining that she's doing everything wrong but she's the only person in town who lets her crash in her couch so it's her fucking snow white arc or getting eaten by a giant mantis.

As expected, Toad Tower and Newtopia makes the girls worse while Wartwood makes them better. While Marcy is kept in the dark and used for her intelligence to commit war crimes and Anne is allowed to be even more selfish and useless, Sasha becomes incredibly protective of her new family and this little town that suddenly looks to her to keep them safe and provide.

[rachetmath]

Jaune: *pacing back and forth*

Writer: *scared* Um.

Jaune: Let me ask you something. Do you get off on me suffering?

Writer: What? No. No. No, we don’t.

Jaune: Really? S-so—so w-w-why have me kill Penny? Like I really could have saved her. I really could have healed her. Like what are we doing? But no, I listened to a girl who had a human body for the first time and was having a dying experience which she probably wasn’t thinking straight.

Writer: …. ….

Jaune: Then I don’t even mention her and Ruby was going through it, acting like she killed her.

Writer: I mean she technically did kill her.

Jaune: Why didn’t you let Ruby do it then? Why did I have to go through all that crap?

Writer: Jaune your a knight.

Jaune: I also had a rabbit hoody. Plus didn’t Ruby pick a knight piece? She is TECHNICALLY a knight. You all could have had me as the late bunny.

Writer: How does that fit into your character?

Jaune: Hm. Beacon wasn’t I late to save Pyrrha? Mistral, wasn’t I think irrationally to where Weiss almost died. Argus, I was close to getting my friends killed because I was lack of leadership skills.

Writer: …. ….

Jaune: The heir always arrives late because he neglects his responsibility and doesn’t do his job. Haven’t I been neglecting some of my duties to almost where no one has complete faith in me?

Writer: …. …

Jaune: Plus, again, Ruby has silver eyes. She could have been training with those and her scythe skills. You can also determine what age you want her to be.

Writer: Okay Jaune chill. We just thought it was best for your character.

Jaune: So having me go back in time. I was stuck in the Ever After for years and couldn’t find a home until RWBY was there. Letting me get poisoned by Alyx. And getting no kind of skill set was good. Isn’t my character all about growth and change? So why does it feel like I haven’t changed? I’m back to square one again.

Writer: Yeah…

Jaune: y'all come on. First, you had Tyrian having some interest in me which might as well be a prison joke right now. Then you had Vine say something about extending my aura which is irrelevant considering y'all wanted Ren to have attention. Y'all had Harriet grieving over Clover which I could have been related to her on, you know, because I lost Pyrrha. And I let Emerald join my team because Oscar says so. There was a lot of shit I could have done. But no, killing Penny was important.

Writer: …

Jaune: Ya’ll had Ruby and Salem in the same kingdom, Salem drops the Summer bomb, and instead of having Ruby figure that shit out by seeing her you had her sidelined.

Writer: She was protecting Nora and Penny.

Jaune: She could have left and gone help in the war. Silver-eyed warrior timing and left Weiss in charge. Don't give me that shit.

Writer: Okay but -

Jaune: Back to what's important, why was James her highest priority over Salem? I mean at least he was protecting his citizens. Salem was trying to kill everybody. How was she not Ruby's target? Why didn't you leave James to me? That would have hyped up Penny’s death way better if you wanted me to kill her!

Writer: You wouldn't stand a chance against James?

Jaune: I almost outsmarted the Atlas military with my plan.

Writer: James is stronger and smarter than you. You are no fighter

Jaune: Exactly fighting for me is the last resort. I am a strategist! Not an all-out fighter! My job is to adapt to situations and operate within the chaos!

Writer: … I mean-

Jaune: I also have emotional intelligence. And I’m not stupid. Are you telling me I wouldn't see through or question some of James’s actions if given a chance?

Writer: Well Ruby was trapped in an electric barrier.

Jaune: Gravity shield. So Nora didn't need to be absent in the fight.

Writer: Shit.

Jaune: Let's go to the Ever After.

Writer: Come on man. If it wasn't for you team RWBY wouldn't have made it out. Also, you were going through the worst.

Jaune: F team Rwby.

Writer: What could you have done better than Ruby?

Jaune: The same shit but better. I would have traded my armor for Yang’s arm. My sword for an audience with the Red King. Pyrrha scarf for the antidote. All are a part of my identity. Not to mention while having my friend's gun on me which she rejected after keeping it safe and not destroying it.

Writer: …

Jaune: Alyx’s dagger, I could have used it by probably seeing her memories and figuring out what happened to her and how to get home. And, mainly, as a means of self-defense.

Writer: But Yang, Blake, and Weiss-

Jaune: Speaking of them why did they prioritize me over Ruby? And why did Ruby need help from a god when her issues were minor compared to mine? I mean even if she spent years alone, talking with her team would have been enough for her. And probably for the best considering Ruby is her team's sister, friend, and leader.

Writer: … …

Jaune: Like seriously, I was messed up mentally. Penny whose death I might as well be keeping a secret, from everybody. I mean if you killed one of your allies to save the world, wouldn’t you feel morally messed up? Meanwhile, my team was nowhere on site. I don't know Weiss, Blake, and Yang like that, so opening up to either of them would have been a challenge. Especially Ruby. Not to forget but my friends were in a whole different kingdom by themselves and I don't know what happened to them. They could've been dead for all I knew. So my worries would have been expeditiously high!

Writer: Oh God.

Jaune: And since we are on Penny, what happened to her body?!

Writer: … … We don't need to discuss that.

Jaune: Funny, because of the way the Jabberwocky was looking at Ruby I can make a guess what happened to her.

Writer: Please don't.

Jaune: Then we have the Cat, my enemy and opposite to my personality., He manipulates my friends and controls them like puppets. Neo would have had a field day with me too. After all, Pyrrha died because I couldn't stop her. Penny died because I had zero options to save her. Ozpin died because I failed to do my job. Ironwood died because of me and Ruby. And Harriet told me about Clover so I know he’s dead.

Writer: …

Jaune: And after all that bullshit you just gave us nothing. No new looks. Now new weapons I could have used. We might as well have been through a filler arc. Oh, and you know what, you could have finally given me a backstory. Something that finally ties my character together.

Writer: *tears falling* Jaune, please.

Jaune: *weapon drawn* You f*** with me for the last time. Now. DIE!

Chopper, Steven, and Orihime: No!

Orihime: Shoten kessun I reject.

Writer: *protected*

Chopper: *Goes Arm point and restrains Jaune*

Steven: *Traps them both in a bubble*

Windy: Jaune please calm down.

Jaune: Nah I'm killing them. They got me f*** up.

Steven: We’re really going to need therapy for you buddy.

Jaune: I don't need therapy, I want them dead.

Sakura: Chopper.

Chopper: Come, buddy. They are not worth it.

Jaune: Let me at least punch them.*screams in rage*

Sakura: *stares at the new staff*

Viz media writer: …

Sakura: Look just go easy on him. Please? Just let him be useful in other areas. Don't give him more trauma.

Viz media writer: You must know how he feels.

Sakura: Yes. Yes, I do.

Steven: And so do I.

[muwitch]

OC Tag Game, Lucius V. Mercar

Thank you to @jukkaricity for tagging me 😌😌😌

no pressure tags will go to @rin-hanarin @proffbon and @woundedsoul12 and whoever wanted to do this, this is your sign!

General 

Name: Lucius Vergilius;

Alias: Mercar, Rook, Mongoose;

Gender: male(he/him);

Age: about early 30ies;

Spoken language: he is actually kind of a polyglot; speaks trade, tevene and rivain fluently in equal measure. Spent too much time with his elven servants and it was kind of mandatory in Circle, so elven on a middle level. Picked up a bit of spoken antivan with his crow-mentor, basic qunlat, because it might've come in handy, same with dwarven, since he was expected to work with Ambassadoria;

Sexual orientation: bi disaster, but that's not certain;

Occupation: Shadow Dragon, local artifact enthusiast, great pretender;

Favorite…

Color: teal;

Entertainment: literature, as it's most affordable and offers a great variety. Not to mention the pluses of being a portable sort of entertainment. He reads fast, always there for the latest plays or banned poetry books. Likes to read out loud, adores discussing things read especially if they are provocative;

Pastime: tinkering with artifacts or generally solving some sort of magical rubix cube to get excessive thinking energy out, playing the sitar - when he feels melancholic or just generally in the mood. Physical activities are mostly a routine but he will do the rivain breathing gymnastics his mother taught him, just to ground himself and keep some action;

Food: non-picky eater actually, generally prefers seafood and fresh greens of any kind (pickled are fine too), but an absolute slut to balsamic dressing;

Drink: it's either Rivain tea (spiced one) or Mulsum if alcohol;

Have they…

Passed university: yes, officially harrowed and passed his Circle education at tender age like any good spawn, doesn't want to speak about it much;

Had sex: yes;

Had sex in public: of course;

Got tattoos: wanted to when he was younger, especially as a part of reconnecting to his culture, but couldn't settle on the design or occasion, so the idea rotted;

Got piercings: got a few, but only his ears remain, nose and everything had healed;

Got scarred: has irreversible lightning scars all over his back and body, which he got during a Shadow Dragon mission;

Had a broken heart: yes, by a certain snake;

Are they…

A cuddler: with closest to him, and it has to brew a bit. Due upbringing it still comes with a tiny pang of embarrassment, but he's down to it, like any abandoned child;

Scared easily: not really, he's too inquisitive and to "seen so much shit" for that, but he has an acute sense of danger (and lack of self-preservation);

Jealous easily: irrationally, but yes. Not his brightest moments, but he doesn't act on it;

Trustworthy: has an aura of rascal around him, but makes people trust him anyway. Generally a good lad, but he knows where his loyalty lies;

Family

Siblings: Four elder half brothers, one half-sister; it's messy, look at them here; ah and handful of cousins he had never seen back at Dairsmuid;

Parents: both parents are mages: dad runs the most evil empire in Thedas, mother (rest her soul) was a seer from top of Rivain nobility with old Tevinter heritage;

Children: No;

Pets: shamefully, but he has...two pet crocs, gifted to him when he was a teen; person hoped they would eat the little shit, it did not go as planned. Otherwise he's pet-less, but very beloved by most of Minrathous stray cats;

[kalelactually]

posting a merlin drabble here that i’ll never finish. arthur’s pov — sorry if this doesn’t make sense !! i’ve been staring at it for too long :)

——————————————————————————————————————————————

— and all my tears have been used up, on another love, another love —

——————————————————————————————————————————————

you look at him, and tremble with the weight it takes to keep secrets together.

you are a prince. you are used to secrets. secrets that are vital, that hide bodies of villages, arms of troops, and the beating heart of your city. secrets that mean, if exposed, you could lose everything your ancestors have worked for overnight. a beating heart, gone, in the blink of an eye.

but his secret, oh — his secret would destroy not your kingdom, but your world as you know it (with him in it.) and you can’t live with that. you know you can’t. and you don’t want to find out what it would be like to have to.

so you keep moving, and you stay blind, and pretend, and hope and hope and hope, that above all, he will stay safe. (that he will stay with you.)

——————

however, some part of you is always mad at him. you’ll look over and see his face, split in half with a grin, and get unbearably, irrationally angry. you’ll snap, and throw insults, and cut with your words, if not your actions — and you’ve never known why.

(you know why. it’s fear.)

——————

leon points it out to you one day, easy, simple, quick as breathing.

he tells you that you never seem to smile. and that shakes your mind.

you ask, confused and caught off guard, why he points it out. he shrugs, leaning on his staff, and stares off at your servant, your merlin, who is mock-battling with some kids. (and when have you ever not thought of him as yours? just as you know you’re his.)

“you haven’t smiled since we were children.” he holds up his hand, as if to stave off protests you’re already forming. “oh, you’ll grin, and you’ll smirk, but it’s sardonic. like you don’t truly find the humor in it; humor that everyone else seems to see.” he hums. “you’re jaded, a little bit.”

you immediately get defensive, the heat of your anger rising, as your throat tightens and almost chokes you up, strangely.

he shrugs again before you can answer, tilting his head towards your servant (your friend.) “but you smile when you’re with him.”

you sit back, dumbfounded, and remarkably exposed. (oh.)

——————

you think later that night, once you finally have some time to yourself, and realize that you can’t remember what your face looks like when it’s smiling. you haven’t felt laughter, or humor — let alone joy, not truly, for years — and you abruptly remember something your father said, once.

“joy is for peasants. it’s the only thing they can afford. it’s common, and it’s cheap — and as kings, as rulers, we have no use for something so easily obtained.”

you didn’t smile in his presence again, after that.

and that decision, one you can’t even remember making, has followed you up until now.

(until him.)

——————

you understand why you’re so angry, now. it’s not because joy is cheap, (like your father once claimed,) or below you, (like you were once taught.) it’s because for you, joy is rare — and you don’t know what it’s like.

you, a king, a prince, (a man, a boy, a kid,) don’t know what it’s like to feel joy. to feel … happy.

and then he came along, and burst into your life, with abhorrent manners and mismatched outfits (and a humble kind of wisdom you’ve never seen,) and shows you that something like happiness is there, and it is possible.

and you are scared.

you, who backs down at nothing. you, who has fought dragons, who has stared down the queen of the north, who bested knights at the age of five. you, who gained your father’s approval. (you, who has fought for the right to live since birth.) you sit back, and you realize, you are deeply, deeply scared.

and then you’re angry, and full of a white-hot rage, and then touch your face and feel tears slipping free without your consent. and you think you’re grieving, because you were never taught things that so many others seem to just know.

and you, you are the one who doesn’t know something so simple, so crucial. you don’t know what it’s like to feel, and you think, that’s unfair.

you also think distantly you’d rather face another dragon, or a horde of them. it’d be easier. those, at least you know how to face.

you don’t know how to fight an enemy, one without a body, or arms, or legs — one that is nothing more than just a feeling, a shadow, a futile grasp at something you don’t even know how to understand.

——————————————————————————————————————————————

hope someone on here enjoyed !! sorry for the abrupt ending :// someday i’ll learn how to post using the tumblr format but today is not that day <33

(title: another love by tom odell)

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• character credits belong to bbc and bbc’s merlin. all works enclosed are solely my own, and are purely fictional and meant for the enjoyment of the reader. please do not repost, republish, or steal my works without explicit permission, otherwise you will be blocked and reported. ty !! •

[sneefsnorf]

is anyone else like irrationally scared of their body suddenly rapidly ageing or changing in any way. im not talking about just normal ageing im talkin one moment youre in your 20s the next youre on your deathbed. it fucking scares me. like the idea that you dont get to experience all those moments in between. just boom. youve reached the end. make your peace. sophies curse in howls moving castle is body horror. to me

[l3st1b0urn3s-707]

I recently read The picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde and the reading experience was absolutely amazing, so let's talk a bit about it.

I've always felt some kind of aversion towards classics, which was implanted in my head by beeing forced to read them at school at a really young age, but now that I'm finishing high school I've been trying to open my mind a bit. I started with this book because I love the 2009 film, and I'm really happy I gave it a try, because I really loved it. The narration was very different to what I expected, it wasn't hard to read at all. I can't really describe it, but the way the author uses the words just makes you feel so inmersed in it, I hadn't felt that way reading a book in so long.

Dorian was also such a fascinating character! One of my favourite things about him was how he always felt things so intensely (love, distress, hate.. ), and how his personality changes gradually from an inocent young mind who's excited about the world to a rotten man, corrupted by the influence of Lord Henry. This happens so smoothly, I cannot really describe how incredible it is. The character who really stood up to me, tho, was Basil Hallward. His love for Dorian felt so genuine, and he really cared for him and was afraid Lord Henry would make him a bad person, because even tho he was his friend, Basil knew what he was capable of. Lord Henry also noticed how Dorian atracted people arround him, either because of his beauty or his charming personality, and that's why he wanted to meet him. I think, in the end, Dorian Gray was a mix between Basil and Harry, taking parts of both their personalities into his own.

More on the spoilery side, I think there're at least two parts of the book that are worth mentioning. The first one is Basil's death. His care for Dorian, his faith in him beeing a good person made him die by his firend's hand. Dorian's rage made him act irrationally, and even though he was scared to be discovered, he didn't seem to care much about killing a person (specially someone that was once dear to him). The next part I wanted to mention was the ending and how Dorian said he wanted to become a better person but in reallity he just wanted to feel like he was one. The moment where he took the knife he used to kill Basil to destroy the picture, the only evidence of his evilness, and how it turned him into what he really was, killing him in the process and leaving the portrait as if nothing ever happened. That's one of the best endings I've ever read.

I absolutely loved this book, it was so fun to read and a great experience overall. I'd love to read the uncensored version in the future and see the differences it has. I didn't mention the queerness of the book, but it was definitely present and so cool and interesting.

[a-heros-legacy-project]

Book one: Chapter 5; a meal and a god

~°•------------------♤♡◇♧-----------------●°~

1 2 2.2 3 4 info

■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■

》Well, it's lunch now, im sure you want to eat after this long day, yeah?

Oh, and I've heard from chiron; happy birthday bud. 《

○●○●○●○●○●●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●

And with that, we headed down to the dining circle.

Aileen had told me that everyone just called it "the plaza" so I decided that that's what it was from now on.

There weren't too many teens at the tables, in total I counted around 25, me, asteria, Aileen and pheobe included.

Speaking of those two, I tried to hide a smile at how charming asteria and pheobe were when they talked

Aileen seemed to share my thoughts as she sat beside pheobe, leaving me to sit beside ari

A gust of wind suddenly blew in our direction, leaving me shortly blindsided, but when I regained my sight, what i saw made my mouth water.

The table was now full of food all around the world, seemingly according to our collective taste:

There was the usual: bacon, burger, pizza and pasta but also there was a plate of rice with miso noodles, plates with ifferent kinds of bread, some really fragrant sauces and soups and some nice and warm curry (yum!)

in short, I got everything I could get my hands on, which made pheobe giggle

》gods above! Laertes, there's enough food for the all of us!《

she chuckled as she covered her mouth , talking quietly with asteria afterwards.

we all ate for a while, before we heard someone's voice at our table:

》mind if I sit here? None of the other tables want me here-《

》yeah, of course! I'm laertes, and you are?《

》Damien, legacy of diomedes and son of- well....um....you'll see《

I noticed that he looked pretty shy as he was about to mention his father, and Aileen was already looking at him pityingly

》 what's wrong with your father? Is he here?《

He looked embarrassed 》 well...yes, but-《

Suddenly a gong sound reverberated through the space, catching all of our attention.

Damians face paled as a gruff voice shouted into the plaza

》listen up mortals! It's June, you know what that means!《

A large, burly man in his mid thirties rose from his seat, an aura of fear surrounding him

》that's my dad...《 Damien whispered, as if telling me an embarrassing secret 》lord ares《

I looked at him dumbfounded and whispered back 》your dads a GOD?!《

》well it's very common with the Greek gods, but yes...my dads a God《

Ares continued 》its a new month, new recruits and new trainees! Which means that the drakon training week has started! And thankfully me and chiron won't be the only ones training you children....《

He sat back down, grumbling something about "his little vultures about to cause chaos"

Two figures appeared in the shadows beside Damien, maniacal laughter coming from them.

Quick question, are you scared of anything? Spiders? Snakes? Clowns?

Well, even if you weren't, you'd still be scared irrationally if you met the two gods infront of us

They looked around our age, maybe a year older, with unruly black hair , striking red eyes and pale skin.

Oh. Did I mention they're identical twins? Yeah no, they were identical twins.

》oh damiannnnnnn....welcome back to the training ground brother dear!《 one of them spoke up with a grin that was a bit too wide to be normal

The other one looked straight at me, their gaze unnerving. 》oh? What's this? Some fresh meat?! Oh how splendid! We haven't seen new blood since....hm....what was her name again?《

》i believe it was mellie, just last month ago《 his eyes narrowed and he fixed his eyes on me

》we're phobos and deimos; twin gods if fear and terror! You are?《

》um....my name is laertes....legacy of Odysseus?《

》legacy of Odysseus you say?!《 the one who is assumed to be phobos spoke up 》well, it just so happened to be that-《

Asteria spoke up, unsheathed her dagger 》one more word and this pretty little dagger is cutting out your vocal chords....《

》gods, little owlet, no need to be so feisty!~《 deimos purred, making her roll her eyes

Aileen spoke up , shifting to cover pheobe from view 》now that you two terros are done talking, could you leave? Dinner is done now anyway, and I'm sure laertes is exhausted....《

I nodded weakly as the two gods walked away, leaving us alone.

Asteria looked at me and smiled 》welp, I guess it's time for you too see the place you'll be staying for a while, hm?

TAGLIST :D

@bast-the-best26

[caughtnyact]

OC Tag Game

Thank you so much @the-bear-and-his-sunbird and @thequeenofthewinter for tagging me :') I loved learning more about Siobhan and Iris, two beautiful Ingellvars! Here's my blorbo that I love v much

General:

Name: Kayla Mercar

Alias: Rook

Gender: Cis woman, She/Her

Age: 27

Spoken Language: Trade/Common, mostly academic Tevene with some of the most heinous swear words mixed in, and very limited Elvish

Sexual Orientation: Bi

Occupation: Shadow Dragon

Favorite:

Color: Purple, especially dark purple

Entertainment: Extremely corny stand-up comedy shows

Pastime: Gambling, full contact street hockey

Food: Spicy foods, baklava exclusively from one specific mom and pop bakery in Dock Town

Drink: Iced coffee, for alcohol a nice Benediction cocktail

Have they…

Passed University: She had a complete education befitting a child of a high-ranking military commander, but did not pursue higher education

Had Sex: Mostly in committed relationships, with a few flings thrown in during a dry spell lol

Had Sex in Public: More than she should, less than she would like

Got Tattoos: Vallaslin (June), full sleeve of Dalish imagery on her left arm, a few thigh pieces on both legs

Got Piercings: Multiple ear piercings, eventually convinced by Taash and Harding to get her nips pierced lmao

Got Scarred: During the events of [Redacted], Rook was struck by a lightning spell and has fractal scars running across her right side, concentrated on her back, shoulder, and right arm

Had a Broken Heart: It certainly felt like it at the time (age 20)

Are they…

A Cuddler: Not if anyone asks (but absolutely in private)

Scared Easily: Generally not, but she has the occasional panic attack around any kind of lightning and absolutely hates storms

Jealous Easily: Slightly possessive but not to the point of irrationality, it's more of a love language than an indictment on her partner

Trustworthy: She is reliable and trustworthy, it takes a lot for her to even think about letting someone down lol

Family…

Sibling(s): No adoptive, unsure of birth family

Parents: Adoptive father - Legatus Charon Mercar; birth parents unknown

Children: None (Yet 👀)

Pets: Rook would LOVE a cat, but doesn't think it makes sense until she has reliable lodgings at home in Minrathous. In the meantime, she is incapable of stopping herself from petting every single cat in Dock Town and Treviso lol

Tagging @dialmformud @draco-illius-noctis @anew-flame @pseudospaceship and anyone else that would like to share their Rooks <3

[backjustforberena]

I’m new to the fandom; I recently caught up on the first season and watched the second. I fell in love with Rhaenys as a character; I think she’s very strong and particularly cunning. However, one aspect I’ve noticed, which I realize isn’t a common opinion, is that her relationship with Corlys seems absolutely toxic to me but people celebrated it as a great love story.

I genuinely don’t understand why people consider this couple to be solid - and compare them to Ned and Cat, when I’ve always seen Rhaenys as very lonely, she can count only on her own strength. Corlys is portrayed as so ambitious that he doesn’t value what he has, including his wife and children, he takes them for granted and he's even ready to silence them or put them at risk solely for his own pride. It seems to me that Corlys is fine with his wife as long as she agrees with him, but as soon as Rhaenys has a different opinion, he leaves her alone. I think that Corlys was written like a husband that did love his wife in the past but now it's more like routine- she's my wife and that's all. Also, rationally, the only times he does something for her, it's always driven more by guilt or shame (left his family after Laena and Laenor died -> so he joins the war; Rhaenys told him that she's aware of his bastards -> he changes his ship) than by love, affection, or respect for her.

So, I’d like to know from you and those who support this couple, what makes you talk about "great love"? what is the thing you like so much? I'm genuinly curious and interested in reading different opinions on the topic.

I just want to have a look at the word "toxic" because, in my view, that's a rather serious accusation to link to a relationship, and one that I don't think this relationship meets. To me, and I only speak on my views and I do want to say that I have been fortunate enough to never have been in or witnessed a toxic relationship, the label of "toxic" is one of an extreme.

To me, it brings to mind abuse and the idea of being trapped and of a significant power imbalance in favour of one participant in the relationship: lack of support, jealousy, controlling behaviours, unhealthy communication and criticism, isolation, eroding of self-confidence, high stress levels, and behaviour veering into physical and mental abuse. There are no other red flags such as a large age gap, chronic infidelity, or fear of the other. Rhaenys and Corlys are not cowed or belittled by their partner. They've been allowed to thrive: they are bettered by one another.

Corlys and Rhaenys do not meet any of the behaviours that would label them as toxic. Rhaenys and Corlys are not scared of one another, they engage in meaningful discussions, and they've had (for the most part) a stable relationship and committed relationship for decades, and one built from the fact that they love each other. It wasn't a political match. It isn't a question of whether they love each other either: they do. There's no power imbalance and no controlling behaviour exhibited. No one behaves irrationally. They aren't violent with one another, they treat one another with respect and care, they don't even really raise their voice, even if they can be curt and terse with one another. They confide in one another as well. Other than the complicated issue of Alyn and Addam, they have no secrets.

I don't think they're toxic.

Are we shown moments of conflict? Yes. Of course we are. For the majority of the time, but that's because this is a show that (certainly in Season 1) jumps from conflict to conflict and, for the most part, shows the characters in extraordinary circumstances. They are under pressure.

We aren't shown, for example, the ten years between Episode 05 and 06, where, presumably, everything was hunky-dory: with Corlys and Rhaenys just chilling on Driftmark. Instead, we meet them when they are at their most vulnerable, after the loss of their daughter, when the realities of Rhaenyra and Laenor's sons are reaching boiling point. We do not see their "normal", except in short glimpses and what we can infer or when they are on the periphery of the conflict, such as. And we rarely see their informal as well, where they are allowed to show their unguarded feelings and domesticity, because so much of them is either in political situations and at court - but when they are alone, we do have that. We have handholding, proximity, acts of care and a wish for/to comfort. Kisses to hands, flirtation, affection.

We can view Rhaenys as lonely for a portion of the time because, for the last three episodes of Series 1, to a large extent, she is. She's been alone, he did "abandon" her. When he's with her and it's normal (such as the first half or so of Season 1) there's no sense that she's lonely at all, even if she does have moments alone.

But it was never about a lack of love or a lack of care for her. It was about Corlys's own grief, a war already brewing in the Stepstones and even his love for her having an impact - he thought he'd lost her. It's an immature, and (to her) hurtful thing to do but it is an extreme. It is something that happens because of copious pressure and large events that uproot that relationship. In deleted dialogue, we know, he couldn't bear to face her. And whilst we acknowledge that this happens, we also have to acknowledge that she understands and forgives him for it. She holds him accountable, and then they are a unit once again.

It's not all sunshine and roses as we continue into Season 2, because again, external pressures force them into places where they find it hard to be vulnerable with one another. It's a continuation of their individual character journeys, but it's never undermining the love they have for one another or how they wish they could be, if given the chance.

For me, I get the impression that they'd love nothing better than for no one to die, everyone to be healthy and they can stay in bed all the time, eating nice food. If that's the baseline, if that's what they want from life, then that's not toxic. That's showing love. If this war hadn't happened, they would have been absolutely fine. Things out of their control and their individual vulnerabilities and worries drive the conflict in Season 2: losing Luke, the succession, the war, Corlys healing, Rhaenys being here, there and everywhere. But that's not a failure in their marriage. Their marriage doesn't fail. It just becomes unsure ground for once.

I'm aware I'm rambling so I'll just go with bullet points for what you've said and answer with counter-points and if you've got anything else you'd like to follow up on, please do come back. I like answering stuff like this.

She can count only on her own strength -> We see multiple points at which Rhaenys and Corlys are shown as a unit and that they take comfort from each other. From Rhaenys's POV, Corlys is regularly an advocate for her, a source of company, someone who seeks to soothe her worries and makes her laugh and get out of her own head a bit. There is an upgrade in her confidence from how she is when having to deal with things alone vs how she is when she has her husband by her side. No less capable, but on a lot surer footing (particularly in S1E10. She can count on him (for the most part). And she does. And she likes to.

Corlys is portrayed as so ambitious that he doesn’t value what he has, including his wife and children, he takes them for granted and he's even ready to silence them or put them at risk solely for his own pride -> Corlys's ambition is absolutely his major flaw. He does view his ambition as very important, but it does come from a place of love. I don't see how he "takes them for granted", though I concede, certainly with his children, that he's not above using them politically. But this is, contextually, normal. All the fathers do it or concede to it. And it is done with Rhaenys's awareness and consent. What I find interesting, as well, is that Corlys's ambitions are as much fueled by his love and hopes for his family as his own self-interest. So much is about justice for Rhaenys and her claim, and restoring how things should have been for her. His surprise at her accusations in S1E07 wouldn't have worked without this conviction. But he never silences her. I am absolutely clear on this. He never silences her. If you have examples, I'd love to dissect them with you.

Corlys is fine with his wife as long as she agrees with him, but as soon as Rhaenys has a different opinion, he leaves her alone -> the only example I can think of where this happens is S1E07. And he retreats because he's hurt. Again, this is a massive extreme and I've spoken about the layers to this scene before but she's uprooted him. She's gone for where he's vulnerable at a time in which he's vulnerable in the efforts to have a conversation and so he leaves the room because he can't deal with that. That's a normal reaction. He leaves her by the fire. But that's not a red flag. That's not an overreaction on his part, it's just a reaction that hurts her. Just as she has reactions that hurt him. If there is another example which suggests a pattern of behaviour, let me know, because otherwise, I don't see it.

I think that Corlys was written like a husband that did love his wife in the past but now it's more like routine -> they are literally post-sex in S2E03.

The only times he does something for her, it's always driven more by guilt or shame (left his family after Laena and Laenor died -> so he joins the war; Rhaenys told him that she's aware of his bastards -> he changes his ship) than by love, affection, or respect for her -> I would say that's a massive oversimplification on your part and I don't agree with your logic there at all. I also think it does a disservice to Rhaenys. He joins the war not because he's rolling over to Rhaenys's whims and would have done so anyway - she has to convince him. He protests to start with. She has to lay out an argument and give him context of what's been going on. Is he more amenable because he feels like he's let Rhaenys down? Probably. But that doesn't mean he doesn't love her. It implies it, if anything. And Corlys doesn't change his ship because she's aware of his bastards. He does it because she died. Because he wants to honour her. If they'd never spoken on the subject at all, do you think he wouldn't have done what he did? I do. Not once, during his mourning, has he ever mentioned them parting on bad terms, has he ever spoken about her in relation to that subject, or implied that he is motivated by that one fact. It wasn't the last time they spoke or saw one another. There's the unsaid and the undone but that was always going to be the case because she died. He changed his ship because he wanted to honour her. Because he misses her. Because he loved her. Because he's doing this (being Hand, fighting this war) for her.

What I like about they find solace and love in each other. They can react against each other and have differing opinions from one another but that doesn't undermine the love they have for one another. They are flirty with each other, care for one another, and seek one another out. They trust one another, they seek to empower the other, they are a team and present a united front. They discuss things, they advocate for one another, they are both political powerhouses. They don't try and change the other, either, which is a big thing.

Corlys did his voyages to prove himself worthy of Rhaenys which is like the biggest romantic gesture I've ever heard of. Rhaenys adopted her marital house and fought for it like she was born to it. She ruled in Driftmark and he trusted her to do that, despite having brothers of an age to do so. The fact that rocky waters for their marriage is such a destabilisation for them shows how much they value the support they give each other. It's not perfect. It's obviously not. But it is worthy to ship them. And they do possess a "great love". Great doesn't mean perfect.

[devine-fem]

dude. jon is not a bundle of sunshine. he’s short tempered and sometimes irrationally because he’s emotional. very emotional and he gets scared, he gets very sad but he has a kind and gentle heart because he does just want to help people to help people, that’s it. jon doesn’t pull punches, he will fight if needed and he’s not willing to judge someone immediately. him being his age made it so his interactions were fun and made for learning curves underneath a very established superhero. he was coming into his own skin and needed to be trained carefully in order to come into his mantle.

this almost emotionless and unfeeling jon kent that tom taylor is pushing as almost a pacifist is an insult to actual pacifist heroes in comics. its like he has this idea that superman can’t be “weak.” he didn’t finish school, he barely interacted with any characters in the dc universe and him being his age AXES so many other characters he knew at the time so THEY will also cease to exist, and jon just flat out lacks maturity. he was no where near ready to be in his mantle a couple years after coming into existence and he’s still not now. these people pushing this “what is wrong with the age up? jon kent age up is fine” is an insult to people who were around when jon kent first came to be in the flashpoint universe. did you read anything besides ssoke???

if you can’t see the issue with the age up when that shit is so in your face then i really do have to question if you like jon kent or if you just like your queer superman doused in insufferable queer sterotypes…

[spider-xan]

Just getting this thought down before I forget, but following the conversation with @hawkogurl in this post, I do feel like a big reason why the Insomniac version of Harry, while very likeable and cute, doesn't quite work as a narratively compelling character is the fact that for whatever reason, Insomniac didn't quite commit to how they are doing their own thing with him in the same way they did for other characters, so Harry ends up feeling like two different versions the games switch between when convenient for the plot or emotional beats, and not in a complex character with multitudes or facades sort of way.

Like, on the one hand, Insomniac Harry, unlike other versions, is a well-adjusted mature adult in his mid-twenties who is a super genius and super successful right out of college, and while he loves his father, who has been nothing but extremely loving and affectionate, and any rare flaws as a father are borne out of genuine love and desperation, plus he had a loving mother for most of his life, he's fully aware that Norman is a bad person and isn't looking for his approval, and is even somewhat embarrassed with how excitedly involved Norman is with the EMF - but then halfway into MSM2, he suddenly starts acting like the traditional scared and insecure teenager who is jealous of his best friend Peter for having the love and approval of his father while he's never good enough for Norman and objectively a failure by comparison, even though this Norman has never not been completely loving of Harry and has never chosen Peter over Harry, and Harry himself is wildly accomplished at such a young age and has been praised for it; and while it's not always bad writing for characters to behave irrationally, it still has to be set up and come from somewhere in a narratively organic way, whereas here, that jealousy moment feels more like the game felt obligated to do a traditional Osborn family dysfunction plot beat, despite the lack of set up in this universe - but also not really bc it's just a misunderstanding and Norman didn't even do anything wrong himself either, and then it doesn't really add much to the plot, tension, or character development anyway.

And the thing is, there were absolutely ways a jealousy plot could have been set up while still working within the parameters of this version of Harry! Maybe instead of having him be almost perfect as a superhero right away as Agent Venom, have it be something he sucks at (which would also make Harry feel more like a rounded character than a perfect paragon), so this is something Peter is better at for once and stokes jealousy in him, even if he's aware Peter has years of experience on him, and adds early tension to their relationship while also feeding negative emotions to the symbiote that then amplifies that jealousy, sparking more conflict so that their falling out makes sense later! That would be a new way to do a jealousy and rivalry plot between them that fits into Insomniac's approach of respecting the source material, but still doing their own twist on things that is unique to their universe and interpretations of the characters.

[autumnrose11]

I'm so miserable and angry with my parents right now.

Ever since I can remember, I've been sheltered. Excessively so. And I never realised just how much until I came back home from the last four months at uni.

And yesterday I met up with two of my school friends, and they're shocked to hear I've never travelled alone. Never. My dad doesn't even let me get in a taxi alone. My mum makes me CALL her when I come home walking at night because she's scared of pervs (she stays on the call). And rebellion doesn't suit me; it never has. I think I'm very submissive by nature; I'm scared of these things and I let them do this to me. And it goes on, and on, and on. I'm eighteen years old, for heaven's sake. I get that they're trying to protect me, I really do. But surely there's a fine line between protecting someone and controlling them?

When we're going out for the day, my mum jumps in immediately with her ideas on my outfit. "Wear this today. Wear these earrings. Wear this. Wear it. Wear it." There's no advice, there's no input. There's no, "Do you think you'd like to wear this?" There's no space for MY adult opinions. Just hers. And I give in because I don't want to fight. I give in to them every time. They control me and I let them.

The worst part is they'll throw this in my face later, when I really screw up. They tie my hands in every possible way. They'll tell me I don't realise how privileged and pampered I am. Yeah.

My mum told me once that my dad's parents were incredibly controlling and overprotective of him. Until they got married, he basically couldn't function apart from his job. Well then, I'm going to turn out exactly the same way. How is it any different from what they're doing to me???

I told them today I wanted to get some blonde highlights. I've been wanting them for ages, more than a year now! And they said they use all sorts of chemicals on the hair and it'll make my hair fall out. And I just got so irrationally angry. And I've just come to my room and started crying so hard and I can't stop. Perhaps it's because of what my friend told me yesterday, which was, "If your mum and dad have sent you to a uni so far away, they need to trust you more. Trust that you've got a good head on your shoulders and you know what you're doing." And she was right!!!

Iwould have been more understanding about the hair if all of this hadn't been accumulating. I've never even flown alone before, or taken a train or a taxi by myself. They're turning me into an incapable adult who won't know shit. I don't know. I just had to get this off my chest.

[brightresearchers]

Repost, don’t reblog

NAME: Lucas Pine NICKNAMES: Cookie GENDER: Male AGE: 20 DATE OF BIRTH: June 8 OCCUPATION: Sinnoh Champion, evolutionary biologist, self-assigned fashionista

☆ APPEARANCE ☆

EYE COLOR: Amber HAIR COLOR: Black HEIGHT: 190cm WEIGHT: 85kg SCARS: Several scars resulting from claw marks all over his torso, arms and legs, visible at the back of his hands if he's wearing long sleeves

☆ FAVORITE ☆

COLOR/S: Bright blue ANIMAL/S: Cats and felines in general MOVIE/S: The Devil Wears Prada TV SHOW/S: Fashion competition reality shows FOOD: Rage Candy Bars, ice cream DRINK/S: Coffee BOOK/S:  Science books, usually focused on biology but he has also been reading about mechanics and engineering to better understand his Rotom

☆ HAVE THEY ☆

PASSED UNIVERSITY: Yes. HAD SEX: Yes. HAD SEX IN PUBLIC: Yes. GOTTEN PREGNANT: No. KISSED A BOY: Yes. KISSED A GIRL: Yes. GOTTEN TATTOOS: No. HAD A BROKEN HEART: Yes. BEEN IN LOVE: Yes. STAYED UP FOR MORE THAN 24 HOURS: Yes, often.

☆ ARE THEY ☆

A VIRGIN: No. A KISSER: Only with very select people, he usually hates physical contact. SCARED EASILY: No. JEALOUS EASILY: No. TRUSTWORTHY: Yes because he's horrible at lying. IN LOVE: Yes. SINGLE: Depends on the verse but even in the verses where he's single he has some intense romantic and sexual tension with Barry so there's that

☆ RANDOM QUESTIONS ☆

HAVE THEY HARMED THEMSELVES: No. THOUGHT OF SUICIDE: No. ATTEMPTED SUICIDE: No. WANTED TO KILL SOMEONE: Once, with long-lasting consequences. DROVE A CAR: Yes but usually doesn't drive because he's constantly traveling between regions. HAVE/HAD A JOB: Yes. HAVE ANY FEARS: Irrationally afraid of clowns. SIBLING/S: Nicolas Pine (twin brother), Julia Pine (younger sister) PARENTS: Both parents are alive and present. CHILDREN: No. PET/S: Mittens the Glameow

[defensivelee]

i think william acts kinda stupid around charles

there's something about her that he really wants to lean into. he doesn't know it but it's left behind from when he was a baby and charles played with him in the netherlands and he just could not get enough of her. most of the time he can get a hold on himself, especially since he can't really explain the feeling.

y'all remember that time charles got him shit faced and smashing windows and all that? i keep thinking of just like,,, william age-regressing in that moment. way back. he's always kept this locked away, even if he doesn't exactly know what this is, but obv when he's drunk he makes no effort to hide anything. (drunk william owns my soul)

so I think he follows charles around again, and she doesn't know exactly why, but she's very amused by how clingy he is. he acts irrationally scared of james and he keeps sitting on charles' lap bc he thinks she's safe. that's what all this is, he's finally leaning into that instinctual safety he had felt before. it comes from a time before he had any real responsibility, when his mother was still alive.

that's why he goes to break the windows-- he asks for his mother after he's had his fun, and while charles plays along at first, telling him she'll be back soon, james rather rudely informs him that she is dead. except ofc, he's at a far younger age than he was when he ~actually~ found out, so he takes this... quite badly! he doesn't understand death so much, really, all he knows is that his mama isn't coming back, which scares him a lot. so I imagine he runs away looking for her, and he gets more and more upset bc he can't find her, so he just starts breaking shit. also, he sees women where he's at ! surely she'll be here eventually if he screams loud enough.

he'll accept no help from anybody except charles, and even then he wants her to carry him. tbh I think she pulls it off, though she wishes he'd stop sobbing into her chest. she tells him that james is just a liar and it was a cruel joke, ofc his mother will come back, and william believes her.

idk just,,,, unethical agere william,,,, very important to me