#iron lumberjack

[ndemon93]

[buttercup-barf]

Finally I can post this.

I participated in another artist telephone event in the Russian Wizard Of Oz/Emerald City community, and, well, here's my piece! I liked improvising the designs, that was fun.

[marylongarms2]

Here's also few scetches of my beloved Tin Man (Iron Lumberjack to be correct..?"")

This one is actually an old one (But really cute ^^)

And here's a new one (I drew him few days ago) ((Guys sorry for these jeans... I thought they're gonna suit him very well >/////<""))

Yeah..I know I'm boring. But what can I do? I just love this character very much..

(Maybe few posts later I'm gonna post something interesting..I dunno)

[kakecomics]

THE 40s: THE QUEEN AND TRADE YEARS 1. is barely out of his teens 2. is a queen 3. or a bit of a rough trade 4. dances with strangers 5. works in an office 6. or wears a uniform 7. has big hair 8. smiles sweetly 9. knows how to dance a Finnish waltz 10. irons his trousers 11. wears shoes 12. a sports jacket 13. and doesn't shrink from a bow tie 14. has serious eyebrows 15. has a narrow waist 16. and likes it to be close to yours (is that a gun in your pocket?)

THE 50s: THE LUMBERJACK YEARS 1. is in his early 20s 2. gets a haircut 3. keeps smiling 4. lives in the great outdoors 5. gets his muscles from logging trees 6. keeps that [waist], though! 7. has a knife 8. wears wading boots for work 9. really likes wood 10. starts wearing blue jeans 11. goes where his feet take him 12. has small nipples 13. and a washboard stomach 14. loses those eyebrows 15. knows how to handle a big stick 16. but doesn't have sex on his mind

THE 60s: THE BIKER YEARS 1. is in his late 20s 2. wears biker boots (machine's parked outside) 3. starts going to the gym 4. doesn't forget his pecs 5. grows a wider waist 6. grows his hair in a fringe 7. and sideburns 8. has lots of body hair 9. grows serious nipples 10. wears a soft leather cap 11. with a phallic logo 12. smokes 13. likes tight white T-shirts 14. doesn't go anywhere without his leather jacket 15. lives in his jeans 16. button fly, of course! 17. lost his belt 18. starts bursting at the seams 19. has 'fucker' written on his back (just in case) 20. is popular in bars 21. guess what he's after 22. smiles less 23. but is very happy to see you

THE 70s: THE CLONE YEARS 1. is in his early 30s 2. gets a serious haircut 3. but keeps the sideburns 4. and tries out a moustache 5. doesn't have a bike but gets around 6. grows veins 7. goes to gay bars 8. looks happy but doesn't smile 9. always has his poppers handy 10. gets a Tom belt 11. buys leather shorts 12. with a zip fly 13. wears biker boots 14. loses his body hair 15. likes a bit of SM 16. and doesn't spare the whip 17. knows his hankie code 18. gets his ear pierced 19. keeps up at the gym (late afternoon) 20. and grows his pecs 21. because he knows bigger is better

THE 80s: THE FETISHIST YEARS 1. in his late 30s (pushing 40?) 2. after '85 is often black 3. gets his head shaved 4. or has a mohican 5. and loses his sideburns 6. develops a love for hard leather caps 7. and starts to smile again 8. grows a big moustache 9. pumps more iron than ever 10. and knows big tits are here to stay 11. (not sure what happened to those nipples, though) 12. has cast iron hips 13. and his neck outgrows his face 14. sometimes has a foreskin 15. gets a sword-belt 16. jodhpurs 17. with a button fly 18. and a wide belt 19. wears riding boots 20. is clearly identifiable as one of Tom's men 21. uses a condom 22. and knows biggest is best

TOM'S MEN Tom of Finland: The Art of Pleasure

[mynameisjag]

Because I just remembered, as author, I have power to do whatever the hell I want in fanfiction. The only powers in the universe that can stop me is my terrible ADD and terrible sleeping habits.

It’s a sequel to ‘Mistaken for Wolverine's and Wade's possible kid.'

There was a possible feral child running around with claws and a smart mouth.

“We'll take him home, keep him in the bathroom for a little while so Laura can get used to his scent and then slowly introduce them to each other.”

“…they aren’t cats…”

“Right, weasel family, close enough.”

Logan rolled his eyes with grunt, the smell of crushed ice and iron filling his nose, they had been following the kids scent for awhile now, enough for a quick change out of uniform to throw on street clothes.

Wade had thrown on an over large sweater with the hoodie pulled up with a face mask and glasses, Logan himself was dressed in one of his flannels.

“We look like the Unibomber and the Bounty Paper mascot have decided to go on a date at the local market.”

They were close, the tracks had lead them to a more public place, a small outdoor fruit market, but there was no sign of white hair anywhere. Though that didn’t matter if the kid could go invisible.

They were close though…

“So what’s the bet that baby wolvie can change his appearance to fit in?”

“Hmm?”

Wade nudged their shoulders together as he gave a subtle nod over to the next stall, black hair, blue eyes, different clothes…but the smell remained the same…

“Oh, boy, whoever made this designer baby knew what they were doing, still has those sharp claws and cute little fangs you both share. Congratulations to us? What we naming him?”

“Wade.”

“Right, assuming gender, my apologies.”

The man actually snorted in brief amusement, getting what he knew was a wide grin even if it was covered up, he rolled his eyes as the usually red covered merc grabbed his bicep, “He could be a Void escapee, I don’t smell any other human smells on him, let’s stay up wind right now.”

Wade gave the arm he was attached to a small squeeze, “Led the way Mr. Paper Picker Upper.”

They moved slowly through the crowd, eyes on the kid but still keeping a distance incase he picked up the super senses trait.

Lightly clawed hands were picking up apples, sniffing them then placing them down, head would tilt and the ears would twitch, he was still listening for any kind of disturbance. Eyes would focus on a fruit, then dart to the side, still wary and still watching out.

“The face shape and features are the same…need better proof though.”

“Lucky you and the need for the plot to move forward, looks like someone has itchy knuckles and a case of peekaboo.”

Sure enough, one hand was rubbing at the knuckles were a slight sheen glinted in the sunlight before disappearing.

The kid was frowning down at his own hands, distracted enough to not notice Wade casually stroll up behind him, “Baby boy, is that you! You’ve been gone for two years! We thought you were dead!”

Logan sighed tiredly, accepting his fate as he watched his partner throw his arms around the child in a crushing hug, wailing dramatically how they would be so much better parents now, they would support his interest in professional knitting and how dare he leave with a note written in cursive.

Phones were out, people were clapping over the tearful reunion, the poor kid looked shocked to be manhandled over to him by Wade.

“It’s your Daddy, I know he is currently cosplaying a lumberjack, but he’s still the asshole we love.”

Logan could only shake his head, letting out a huff before staring down the kid, “Ready to have that chat?”

Bright blue eyes glared up at him on a level of unimpressed that only teens could reach, “I don’t know, are you ready to go save Goldilocks, I think you better go off and get lost in the woods looking for her.”

“Oh, he is just the Sassiness! He gets it from me, I swear! Just an absolute deee-light!"

[marylongarms2]

OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH!!

*screams happily*

Thank you!! Thank you so much!! He looks so cute and awesome in your art style!! Thank you so much again!! 💓 💖✨

Requested by @marylongarms2

Been scrolling through your blog … notice you had an interested, so I grant you this!

Hope you have a happy day @marylongarms2

[f10werfae]

Milf and Cookies

pairing; Lumberjack!Henry x Pregnant!Shy!Reader

summary: Henry’s wants his shy wife’s titty milk and pussy, a gender reveal, and baby Marly the Cat goes missing. (Lactation!Kink)(Dilf!Henry)(Dom!Henry)

(short story 🫶)

Likes, Comments and Reblogs are appreciated🫶

Lumberjack Masterlist, Henry Masterlist

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

“H-Hen, I-I can’t find b-baby Marly” Y/n whined plopping herself onto her grumpy husband’s lap, his hands instinctively reaching around to grope her ass, clad in some soft cotton shorts. “Shh s’okay sugar cube, ‘m sure our baby hasn’t toddled off too far” Henry grumbled moving his hand up to smooth over her 8 month bump, feeling his little miracle squirming inside their momma.

“B-But she isn’t i-in her cat h-house, o-or the bed a-and not even the nursery!” Y/n whined blowing her nose as Henry held the tissue for her, her fingers fiddling with the hem of his white vest, his new tattoo on his chest being exposed slightly. “baby bun don’t worry your pretty lil head alright? We can go find baby Marly together, now have you checked everywhere in the house?”

“Mhm even u-under the bed”

“How on hell did you get onto the ground?” Henry quirked knowing damn well she struggled to even get clothes on or lotion up after a shower, leading to him having to lather her up in her coconut body butter, and helping her get her clothes on (that’s on the odd occasion she didn’t sleep in the nude) “I-I used my stool t-to help me down”

A sharp squeal immediately left her pouty lips as his hands made contact with her ass, grabbing onto it, “aw sugar pie, if you need help ya call daddy, don’t ya momma?” He growled through gritted teeth as she nodded, it wasn’t surprising that now he had knocked her up, his possessive and protectiveness had increased by ten folds. Helping her to slip on some shorts, he held her hand tightly as they both slipped on their matching fluffy crocs (ones she again insisted they buy at the market)

Her mood instantly lightening up at the sight of all the flowers and fruits starting to bloom, with her giggling at simply nothing and everything; Henry swinging their hands and bringing it up to kiss her knuckles every few minutes. “W-what if w-we can’t find b-baby?” She whimpered remembering why they were out there in the first place,

“I’ll find her momma don’t you worry, in fact a’ think I can see her from ‘ere” Henry stopped looking in between the tall grass to see their tiny white flur baby, mingling with a larger black grumpy looking cat, how ironic. “Looks like Marly got a boyfriend” Henry chuckled bending down to see both of the cats cuddling together, their tails interlinked as the black cat licked up Marly’s fur.

“O-Oh my! They’re so cute” Y/n squealed looking up to Henry, with that same sparkle in her eyes, he already knew what she was about to ask, “Fine yes okay, we can take him home, as long as we don’t find a collar on him or anythin like that, sound okay sugar cube?” She nodded eagerly picking up Marly, watching as the black cat walked alongside them to the log wood cabin.

“Now come on momma, let’s leave these two in their bed while I tend to my baby, we still have to cut the box remember?” He whispered, seeing the sugar cube shaped cupcake sitting waiting for them, it had only arrived that morning; in it contained the gender of their little miracle and God could he not wait. With Y/n wanting Marly to be with them for the whole experience. “O-Oh yeah, I f-forgot”

“S’okay baby I know you’re dumbed out, can’t help it with your condition” He smiled sickly rubbing over her stomach as he sat them both onto the couch, the box sitting on her lap as she giggled and nodded along to his insult. His hands combing back her hair gingerly, her nose wrinkling every so often. “C-can we cut i-it now? m’ excited” She whispered wiggling on his lap, watching intently as he took the cupcake from her hands, peeling back its covering.

“Open wide bun” He whispered watching her take a bite, showcasing that she would be bringing a precious baby boy and baby girl into the world. The perfect mix of them both, a tiny Henry and an even tinier Y/n, both of them cocooned away in their momma’s stomach all safe and sound. “I-It’s both? Does that m-mean twins Hen?” She said shocked, feeling Henry smirk and chuckle as he licked up the cream from her lips and chin; not only did he manage to knock her up, but he managed to double it.

“Aww baby I could fuck you till the sun goes down, my little petal givin’ me two miracles at once, your pussy really musta milked my cock for all its worth” His hands patted her stomach as tears rushed to her eyes, she finally knew what she was having, her own little boy and girl; if anything this was a dream to her. “S-stop it, y-you’re ruinin’ the moment, tell y-your dads to s-stop it” She sniffed putting her hand on too of Henry’s, feeling the strong kicks following their touch everywhere they moved, their babies were here right now.

“You better not take her away from me squirts, Cus a’ swear my woman is-“

“Y-you gotta l-learn to share” Y/n huffed crossing her arms, “Yeah sure, one tit for them and one for me” Henry chuckled leaning down to press a kiss onto the exposed part of her chest, cupping underneath it and squeezing the swollen flesh softly, watching as her shirt dampened due to her milk coming in earlier than normal. He maintained eye contact with her as he licked over her hardened nipple over the thin fabric, the sweet milk streaming into hid mouth ad he started to suckle gently, a habit he had picked up to help her fall asleep and him at the same time. Sometimes with him waking up due to her nipple popping out of his mouth, or with her when she realised the pressure in them was building up again. Either way it was a new bonding experience for them both

“I wan’ go to b-bed, m’ tired” She whispered kissing the top of his, her eyed lidded while she watched him press kisses onto her tits, taking his sweet time with each one of them. “Alright sugar, I’ve got ya, get ya all nice n’ snuggled in” He grunted picking her up, carrying her to their shared marital bedroom, their pictures littering the room in pink fluffy photo frames she had chosen.

Sitting slightly upwards with an extra pillow underneath her head, she shuffled towards Henry’s side, letting him lay his head onto her puffy chest; sighing out in relief as he started kissing and sucking at her nipples. Lifting his head up he spat some of her own milk into her mouth, letting her taste it as he licked wetly into her mouth, drool and excess milk dripping from the sides of their lips. His babygirl’s sweet milk was the best thing he had tasted, and he’d rather die before sharing it with someone else but he knew better than to mess with his woman and their babies. Their baby boy and baby girl, their miracles

———

PSA: I know this is short, but tomorrow I’m posting a full fic on how Shy!Y/n lost her virginity to Lumberjack!Henry :)) So if you would like tagged in that tomorrow please let me know🫶

library blog: @f10werfaes-cosy-collection

taglist: @pandaxnienke @thereisa8ella @beck07990 @dumb-fawkin-bitch @madebylilly @kebabgirl67 @marvelgurl @uwiuwi @stormcloudss @misshale21 @hallecarey1 @nikkitc0703 @mischiefsemimanaged @oliviah-25 @aerangi @bookfrog242 @alina02 @alexxavicry @hp-hogwartsexpress @angelmather1 @ggmimitf @thebaileybugle @p4st3lst4rs @kzhlvlysstuff @thoughtsofreid @cilliansangel @theekyliepage @cookielovesbook-akie @elenavampire21 @rosiesluv7 @yaminax @esposadomd @meyocoko @disaster-rose @severewobblerlightdragon @kemillyfreitas @adoreyouusugar @queensgirl718 @sweetybuzz25 @livesinfantasyland @louyoursins @lightdragonrayne @realm-of-azrael @cruelfvkingsummer @shecamedowninabubble @sweetanimebakery @rinimitchell @rebeccapineapple @namjoons-t1ddies @sparklemarysunshine @noideawhyimdoingthislol @ameliascreampuffs @kimhtoo17

[wadewnstonwilson]

pumpkin spice & profanity;

summary: in a cozy coffee shop filled with the warmth of autumn, Logan Howlett’s quiet coffee run takes an unexpected turn when he meets Wade Wilson, a loud, crass, and endearing stranger sporting a "Spooky Season" hoodie. despite Wade’s relentless swearing and over-the-top flirting, Logan finds himself charmed by his energy.

word count: 1.1k

suggestion by @creativijay!

The smell of pumpkin spice and roasted coffee beans mingled in the air as Logan Howlett pushed open the door to a small coffee shop, a bell tinkling above his head as he stepped inside. Outside, fall was in full swing: golden leaves scattered across the sidewalks, a crisp chill hung in the air, and pumpkins were propped in various places, creating a warm, festive atmosphere. Logan had never been one for pumpkin spice or seasonal hype, but he couldn’t deny he liked the smell. Besides, it wasn’t like he was here for the décor; he just wanted his coffee—black, strong, and preferably scalding.

As he moved up the line, he tugged his jacket closer, catching a glance of his reflection in the glass display case. He looked scruffy as always, his stubble a little rougher than usual, his hair sticking up in wild tufts he hadn’t bothered to smooth down. But if anything, it added to the intimidating air he carried, which was probably why he usually didn’t have to worry about anyone striking up a conversation.

“Large black coffee,” he grumbled when it was his turn. The barista nodded, looking slightly intimidated as she keyed in his order.

Just as he was paying, Logan’s ears picked up a familiar sound: swearing. A constant stream of it, in fact, laced with occasional snorts and chuckles, coming from a guy at the end of the counter.

Logan turned, trying not to look obvious, and his gaze landed on the man causing the racket. He had on a beanie that read *Spooky Season* in a horribly ironic Comic Sans font. The beanie matched a hoodie emblazoned with the same words and font, and as the guy shifted, Logan noted that he was bouncing slightly on the balls of his feet as if he had too much energy and nowhere to put it.

“Oh, come on! I swear if this machine screws up my order one more time, I’m gonna come back here with a chainsaw and reenact Texas Chainsaw Massacre in the name of every caffeine-deprived citizen out there!” The guy’s voice was loud enough for most of the shop to hear, and several customers shot him dirty looks. He, however, was oblivious—or just didn’t care.

Logan found himself smirking, even as he tried to keep his expression impassive. It wasn’t every day he saw someone go off on a coffee machine, and there was something oddly endearing about the guy’s sheer volume and lack of shame.

Just then, the barista handed Logan his coffee, and as he turned to find a seat, he realized the guy had caught him looking. With a quick, almost mischievous grin, the stranger sidled up to him, coffee in hand.

“Hey there, tough guy. Didn’t peg you for the seasonal coffee type,” he said with a lopsided smile that revealed a glimpse of his teeth. His voice was smooth but laced with a wicked edge, like he knew he was about to say something offensive and couldn’t wait.

Logan grunted. “I’m not. Just here for a black coffee.” He gestured with his cup, arching an eyebrow as if to dare the guy to say something about it.

“Oh, look at you, all rugged and classic. Black coffee, huh?” The stranger snorted. “Sounds like my high school gym teacher. Guy was a real hardass—smelled like wet dog, too. Hopefully, you don’t have the same cologne.”

Logan couldn’t help it; he chuckled. The guy’s energy was contagious, and it had been a while since he’d met someone so… vibrant. And, frankly, ridiculous.

“Yeah? Didn’t realize my coffee order was up for public scrutiny,” Logan replied, trying to keep the smile out of his voice.

“Oh, everything’s up for public scrutiny,” the stranger said with a grin. “You look like you walked out of a lumberjack calendar—seriously, how do you even get your hair like that? Do you roll around on a carpet first thing in the morning, or is it natural?”

Logan raised his eyebrows, surprised. “What’s it to you?”

The stranger shrugged, clearly enjoying himself. “Hey, just appreciating the view. Don’t get your plaid in a twist.”

“Didn’t catch your name,” Logan said, leaning back against the counter, intrigued despite himself.

“Oh, I didn’t throw it,” the stranger said, extending a hand. “But since you asked so nicely, the name’s Wade. Wade Wilson, professional caffeine addict and part-time lover of all things spooky.” He gestured to his hoodie with a flourish, giving Logan an exaggerated wink.

Logan blinked, taken aback by the guy’s brashness but unable to suppress a smirk. “Logan.”

Wade’s eyes lit up as he clasped Logan’s hand, giving it a shake that was a little too enthusiastic. “Logan, huh? Like the Wolverine? Badass name.”

“Yeah, something like that,” Logan muttered, feeling an odd warmth under Wade’s intense gaze. The guy was practically buzzing with energy, and it was both exasperating and oddly charming.

“So, Logan,” Wade continued, leaning in conspiratorially, “what do you say we skip the awkward part where we pretend like we’re not totally into each other and just grab dinner sometime?”

Logan froze, not expecting Wade to be so forward. A faint flush crept up his cheeks as he stammered, “Are you… are you asking me out?”

“Damn right I am!” Wade said, utterly unfazed. “And trust me, you’d be lucky to have a date with me. I come with terrible jokes, relentless flirting, and, if you’re lucky, I might even buy you a coffee.”

Logan let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. “A little forward, don’t you think?”

Wade shrugged, grinning from ear to ear. “Hey, life’s short, Peanut. You don’t think I came out of the womb this charming, do you? Had to work at it. And I’m not one to waste time.”

Logan’s lips twitched. There was something about Wade’s cocky grin, the way his face lit up when he talked, that was infectious. For the first time in a long time, Logan felt his guard slipping. He glanced down at his coffee, debating. It wasn’t like he had anything to lose.

“All right, Wade,” he said, surprising himself. “You got yourself a dinner.”

Wade’s grin widened, if that was even possible, and he pumped a fist in the air like he’d just won the lottery. “Hell yeah! All right, so here’s the plan. I pick you up at six, we go somewhere semi-classy, and I promise I’ll only make, like, five inappropriate jokes. Sound good?”

Logan chuckled, shaking his head. “Better make it three.”

“Oh, you’re killing me, Logan! Three? That’s like… child’s play!” Wade groaned dramatically, but the twinkle in his eye gave him away.

“See you at six,” Logan said, turning toward the door before he could change his mind. As he walked out, he heard Wade shouting after him.

“Wear something cozy! I’m thinking plaid. Gotta stay on-brand!”

Logan chuckled as he stepped into the crisp autumn air, feeling lighter than he had in a long time. Maybe he’d finally met his match in Wade Wilson.

[yinora-evergreen]

Hiii!! Can I request early seasons sam x reader where there exhausted after a hunt so they cry together in a cute way? <3 (I hope you get the vision aha)

a/n: i totally get your vision!! i struggled a little bit writing this, but i hope you enjoy it! im really glad you requested this, because i really wanna get better at writing more things like this. i tried to make it a little bit angst to fluff, but idk if i succeeded at that

pairing: Sam Winchester x gn!reader

note: i kinda made Dean an asshole, much to my own pain, but it fits the best. i'd just like to point out that Dean does care, but in this fic he's just a dick about it, because it fit best

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

you swear you didn't mean for it to go so not-according-to-plan.

you, Sam and Dean took this case, an old cabin in the woods was haunted by an old lumberjack's ghost, who wasn't very keen on human interaction when he was alive, and therefore, once he died, his body was never found, he kept his place a secret, and now he was haunting the old place, and anyone who came in ended up bloody, to say the least.

you three had made a simple plan: get in, stay quiet, find the body, and roasty toasty mr mcghosty.

but, much to nobody's surprise, the place was old, and made of wood, and apparently, wasn't as sturdy as it used to be.

Sam and Dean had made it up the stairs with minimal noise, however, much to your luck, one of the steps broke under your weight, making your leg get stuck, a piece of wood impaling your thigh, making you groan at the sudden wave of sharp pain, and ofcourse, that alerted the ghost.

it appeared, right infront of you, and swung a rather large axe at you, which you managed to avoid getting hit with by throwing your iron wrench you had with you at it, making it temporarily dissappear.

long story short, Sam helped you up, you three found the body, and burned it, end of story.

however, you had bled quite a bit, and passed out.

next thing you know, you wake up in the back of the impala, Sam sitting next to you in the backseat with a worried expression, and Dean complaining in the front.

"i told you it was a bad idea to bring them, Sammy, they're newer at this than we are, we shouldn't have brought them" you furrow your brows.

"Dean, this isn't their fault! it could've been either of us who fell through those stairs, we just got lucky, and they didn't" Sam argues back, mindlessly keeping his hand on your bandaged thigh, which you realize was probably taken care of by him.

"....sorry..." you mumble quietly, barely audible.

"you better be, you could've made this case go fully to shit" Dean snaps back. he doesn't mean it, you tell yourself, he's just worried.

you manage to stay quiet and composed the whole ride back to the shitty motel, keeping your eyes trained out the window to prevent yourself from crying, which Sam, being as caring as he is, notices.

once your back, Dean tells you both to go back inside to the motel room, and he'll get some chinese food.

you stumble back inside, Sam right behind you and locking the door behind you two.

"you okay?" he asks hesitantly. he feels like shit. he shouldn't have let you walk up those stairs third, it should've been him, he should've been the one who got hurt, not you.

you try to respond, but the words die on your tongue as you feel a lump form in your throat, and your eyes tear up.

you try to blink the tears away, though Sam has already noticed them, and crossed the room in a few strides and wrapped his arms around your waist.

trying to blink away the tears doesn't work, it just makes them fall as you start crying, wrapping your arms around Sam just as he wraps his around you, hiding your face in his chest.

he can't help but tear up aswell, both in relief that your ok and in sadness of you feeling like this and having to deal with both the scare of getting swinged at with an axe and having to deal with his brother's shit.

"its okay, you're okay, we're all okay..." he murmurs shakily, trying to reassure the both of you.

[whump-in-the-closet]

Hi! I love your stuff!

And I don't know if this is a thing but I would love to see a sinerio where a whumper is about to torture whumpee but then finds out that whumpee is a sadist (someone who enjoys pain.)

I'm my twisted mind it's just funny that Whumpee is like:"Yes, that's the good stuff" while being attacked with a knife or a crowbar, etc.

And Whumper is just like:"Wtf just my luck, of course I chose a defective one."

LMAOOO yeah great vision anon I love this. Pretty sure someone who enjoys pain is a masochist so that's why it's tagged like that but nw I know what you meant :D

cw: masochistic whumpee with a whumper who's a dick about it and mocks them, kidnapping, ransom, beating, imprisonment, shaming, walks a fine line between crack whump and actual whump :/

The last thing Whumpee remembered was the flash of a crowbar in the corner of their vision.

Whumpee blinked groggily. They tried to rub their eyes but their hands were tied behind their back and all they could manage was a twitch. Their limbs spasmed beneath them.

They had been thrown with little ceremony into a small, dark room. It smelled of rot and faintly of iron. A light fixture hung from the ceiling and swang lazily back and forth, scattering Whumpee's thoughts with it.

Whumpee caught a glimpse of metal on the walls surrounding them. They swallowed, something tightening inside them.

Their eyes darted back and forth, assessing the vast array of knives and-- oh fuck was that a whip?--

Above them, a door creaked open. The sound of heavy boots on the stairs echoed against the stones.

Whumpee stiffened as their captor entered.

A tall man, with bright eyes and broad shoulders, paused on the final step-- probably for some fucking dramatic entrance, thought Whumpee-- and smiled.

He wore a red and black flannel, which gave him a distinctive lumberjack-esque appearance. As if he ate eggs and bacon every morning and liked it.

Whumpee was far more interested in the crowbar Whumper dexterously swung with a calloused hand.

Whumpee watched the dull metal flick back and forth with a fascinated expression. Oh.

Whumper approached them. He spoke in a confident stride. "I'll make this simple. I'd like twenty-thousand dollars delivered by the end of the week and you get to keep your teeth." He towered over Whumpee and smiled. "Most of them."

Whumpee glanced up, open-mouthed. The fluorescent lighting threw a halo around Whumper's face, making his features angular and disjointed. They were momentarily crushed by the reality they were facing. "Twenty-thousand? I- I don't have that kind of money. I work at a-- at a coffee shop."

Whumper hefted the crowbar, weighing it in his hands. "But your brother does."

Whumpee felt like someone had thrown a bucket of cold water over them. "We don't talk," they shot back.

"Okay, okay, right," said Whumper in a conversational tone. "No worries."

Whumpee exhaled. This didn't seem so bad.

"But maybe this," Whumper raised the crowbar, "Will convince you otherwise."

Too soon.

Whumper hit low, the metal slamming into Whumpee's ribcage. There was a visceral thud and a rush of air.

Whumpee saw stars.

Oh.

Fuck.

They closed their eyes against the roaring in the back of their head. Bright, rapid colors flashed behind their eyes. They inhaled slowly, enjoying the heated rush of throbbing pain. "Oh-"

Whumper hesitated.

Whumpee tilted their head back to look up at Whumper. "Don't stop," they managed-- almost pleading-- "That was so good."

Whumper stepped back, looking at Whumpee with a realization that quickly turned into frustration. "You...you're sick."

"Sorry-- sorry," said Whumpee. "Just-- c'mon, hit me again."

Whumper threw the crowbar away. It rattled against the tiles. "No fucking way." He looked genuinely upset. "Of course, you're into this shit."

Whumpee scooched back into the wall, arms and ankles still tied together, and leaned against it. Their face was bright red. "Sorry about that." Effortlessly polite in a way customer service had forced them to be.

Whumper scowled. "Just my luck in choosing the defective one," he muttered. He pointed at Whumpee with a chipped finger. "Don't think you're getting out of the ransom because of this."

Whumpee sighed. "Shame."

[ndemon93]

[buttercup-barf]

Мы выдержим все испытания.

[marylongarms2]

He-he, just drew my sweet iron man as a lovely chibi ✨

Why not?)

I'm sure, he can be handsome and cute at the same time! 🥰 💞 💖✨✨✨

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Lumberjack

Anthony Engebretson: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the lumberjack Stephen King: the lumberjack, eh? King: does he sleep all night and work all day? King: hahaha! King: eh? eh? get it guys? Barker: we're not doing this steve

King: ohhh King: i'm a lumberjack and i'm ok King: i sleep all night and i work all day King: come on guys sing along! King: you know the words! Joe Hill: what are you doing dad King: c'mon all you kids know the lumberjack song! Hill: i've never heard of this song

King: well joe i bet you never knew your dad was so "cool" Hill: King: "we are the knights who say neep!" King: hahaha King: classic! Hill: i don't know what any of this is Lovecraft: "the knights who say NEE!" get it right!!! >:C

King: so he's a lumberjack and he's okay, hm? Engebretson: he's actually not okay Engebretson: he may be the least okay lumberjack ever Engebretson: he's actually really bad at it Engebretson: he just can't jack it Engebretson: more of a lumberjackn't

Engebretson: this guy, he just desperately wants to be a lumberjack and prove he's a real man's man Engebretson: and he's got an ax! he loves his ax! Engebretson: he's always chop chop choppin' with that ax! Engebretson: he loves that goddamn ax!!

Engebretson: so this lumberjack gets hired by J. sterling morton to rid his house of a gnome Koontz: wow! j. sterling morton the salt tycoon? grover cleveland's secretary of agriculture? the founder of arbor day? that j. sterling morton?? Engebretson:

Engebretson: yes, the very same Engebretson: but Engebretson: how did YOU know that? King: yeah i'm wondering that too honestly Poe: this is most surprising Barker: did morton own a dog or something... Koontz: i'm not just a dog lover guys! Koontz: i have other interests!

Engebretson: so morton hires this lumberjack to rid his weird house of this creepy demon gnome Engebretson: how ironic that the founder of arbor day would hire a guy who loves chopping trees Engebretson: you might even call it Engebretson: DRAMATIC irony

Engebretson: so this lumberjack gets to work exterminating the demon Engebretson: but he gets distracted by chopping kids & attacking random trees he gets mad at Engebretson: turns out he's as bad at exterminating demons as he as lumberjacking Engebretson: what a loser!

[kazachokolate]

Tag from @neon-pizzeria

Last Line Challenge.

Rules: in a new post, show the last line you wrote (or drew) and tag as many people as there are words (or as many as you feel like).

Little Iron Lumberjack is crying a little Tag: @spooky3forest and everyone who wants to

[tj-crochets]

Crafting update: So far today I have cut out 2/8 pieces for the octopus, ironed 1/2 the fabric for a flannel baby blanket, and ironed all the fabric for the denim lumberjack quilt before realizing I was just re-wrinkling the backing fabric while I tried to iron it because it was Too Much Fabric at once, so I spread it out on the floor, cut it down much closer to size, and am going to re-iron it I am having some trouble focusing, can you tell? lol