#irls you guys didnt see this im doing fine

[strongbabe2907]

Here’s a little review of Zepp Haneda - Dir en grey Who is this hell for tour 2024

In the morning i took a wrong train and almost ended in Yokohama, lmao. In the end i was there around 10:40 and we got the merch tickets.

After that we met up with a few people and had some food. The cafe/bar we went too was blasting Dir all day and played their pvs inside too, it was surreal but very cute.

Visnu brought the art books and it was so cool to see them irl before she put them in the gift box🥰 everyone worked so hard!! Go check out #SilverCoinProject if you haven’t! I’m not an artist i send in some pictures hehe. There’s also a picture in there of my gifts.. maybe i’ll post them later on social media now i have given them.

So we walked around a bit and went to the torii my friend recommended, but they were doing construction work right around it so it was a bit noisy.

When it was time for merch we found out todays sticker was Kaoru!! I hoped a shiny but unfortunately just normal ones. Still cute.

I bought more merch for friends and some standees, did some trading with other japanese fans and some gift exchange 🥰 honestly everyone has been so nice and sweet.

We god dinner before the show and i started to get nervous again.. we split up waiting because we had different numbers and i was very focused on the counting haha.

I had 235 for vip which got me… 6th row maybe? Second barrier in zepp. Which was.. i had hoped for a bit closer but it is what it is.

Again i was between Kaoru and Kyo and looked at them most. Shinya wore his white outfit, Die also wore a white outfit. I think Toshiya was all black? He wore the shorts with something on top and dramatic separate sleeves.

Kaoru looked amazing! He was in all black. Black dress shirt with big collar. Wearing a small, wide black tie. His waistcoat thing and trousers/shorts were the same texture/print. The waistcoat was much more wide/baggy and shorter in the front and longer in the back. I think it had 2 rows of 3 buttons on it. The shorts were just passed his knees and veryy wide with big pockets on the sides. He wore black leggings with them again. Black dr martens and i think socks?

His hair was pulled back in a little ponytail and he had two strands loose in the front. One behind his ear and one just loose. He had the usual make up, little fangs, eyeliner and dark shading especially around his head. He was the only one that didn’t change for the encore.

Kyo wore the same simple outfit. I still couldn’t make out the tat very well, but thought i could discern some points to it.. Visnu later mentioned she thinks it’s either like a little star or a cross?

He wore low black doc martens this time.

His voice was just 💯from the start. They seemed more energetic/relaxed than the first show (which was still really good btw). He did some dancing (god he’s so tiny..) and moved around and took his earpieces out to listen to the crowd sing/shout. Closer to the end he pointed at two people, one right ahead of me. I think one of them had made a tattoo like him and he was smiling? Cute.

Also HELLOOO obscure was so awesome. It was the more recent version which i personally prefer. It was so cool!! And i mentioned this on twitter already but Kaoru didnt do much wahwah but he did grunt along with tsumi no kisei and was doing tough guy act to the crowd and singing along with a song (sorry cant remember which) for a long but, it was really cute. They switched sides once i think. My friends said there was almost a twin towers collision but i didnt see.

After the last song (Eddie), Kyo did a big smile and said ‘bye bye’ and he was off.

Shinya’s drumstick landed right next to my foot but i was busy looking at Kaoru😭😂🙈(he was also throwing stuff). Then girl next to me notices a tiny but before me and bend down to grab it, but it was fine i mosty found it funny i missed it cos i was going 👁️ at Kao.

Everyone but Kyo also threw a tour towel.. maybe shinya didnt? Im not sure. Toshiya was smiling and put his face in it before tossing it in the crowd lol. Kaoru also threw it near the front and Die tied a knot in it again and pitched it to the back of the venue lol.

So good live! Girls around me were lively but i was standing at a bit of a dead area in the crowd?? I liked both citta and zepp even though the vibes were different. (Citta was def more intense)

After the show we got the vip bags! They’re very cute. And now i try and recover a little before heading to Kyoto.

[graveyardmouth]

[guy who is so normal] hey wanna hear my poem about how im rotting from the inside out and my organs are decaying and hosting a multitude of larvae and i can feel the flies pressing at my skin begging to be let out its a wonderful metaphor [it is not a metaphor]

[pens-and-paperbacks]

Endeavor is almost a perfect allegory for what the society in the mha universe does to people who can't be heroes or use their quirks in a way to benefit society, which is cast them aside or pass them over without over giving them a second glance until uh-oh! Suddenly they're worth being noticed because they're a threat.

He apologizes to his family, which is good! If you're a bad person and did terrible things, the first step in your own transformation and atonement should be to acknowledge what you've done and to apologize to those you've wronged. Great!

Thing is, Endeavor set off a chain reaction with his abusive, neglectful and downright irresponsible choices that it damaged everyone in his family for life.

I don't think someone who causes one of their own children to literally go up in flames, crying because they're finally getting attention from their father and family in the very end, ever deserves to be forgiven.

[toytulini]

idk. picky eater rights. im coming to your events and turning my picky bitch nose up at your fancy ass desserts you spent a bajillion hours working over in the kitchen and asking if i can find like a basic ass brownie with no extra flairs or ingredients or steps or whatever the fuck. cry about it. stop trying to feed me

[bendarius]

I was just thinking, Do you think Ben gf is real? I personally believe it's some kinda of catfish...

Well, it's just that seeing him as straight is just UNIMAGINABLE to me. I know people are saying he can be bi/pan but Camp Cretaceous never gave us ANY possible hint of Ben liking girls... Also, I doubt they would officialize Ben as bi or pan someday. So, if he's not coded as bi/pan or officialized as it, we kind of just got queerbaited :( ?

It is not about he ending or not with someone, the thing is that the whole girlfriend reveal felt just like a way of trying to make the viewer stop doubting about Ben's queerness in general. I say that bc is kinda of obvious fans ALWAYS saw a lot of queerness in his character since the beginning of the first show, and is ingenuity to think they arent aware of the viewers' opinions about Ben...

Ps: I love ur blog so much🙌❤️

i think its clear what i think considering i wrote that fic....and no we didnt get queebaited. that would need the crew to promise that there would be more lgbt and we were never told that. its okay to read them as gay. to be fair staight is still the default but he also wasn't shown to like guys either (subtext isnt proof, didnt drop lines like "i mean i think hes cute") meanwhile darius w the beautiful boy line and how desperate he was to keep ben could be read as some kind of proof. i see him as gay no matter what because him liking girls is unfathomable to me....i seriously dont think he has a gf. if anything it wont last bc why are you long distance dating your first gf...scared of sharing irl moments w her?....

i want to work on the benrius subtext analysis. it makes me feel better that people on the crew actually see it too bc i feel less insane. but again crew art isnt official (thank god bc of that kenji darius yaoi satire) or reflective of the shows plot. itd be great if there was some benrius hint but im fine with just reading into their interactions. ben does feel gay to me in many ways with his identity and feeling comfortable in himself but with that theme its very easy to equate it. im just glad theres room for interpretation due to how he presented his gf. in the end its just abt perception, i think theres a reason who we dont rly learn a lot abt his gf. just cause he says he has one is like.....very much room to think otherwise

and thank you so much! i appreciate it, even though im not as active anymore benrius still has a huge place in my heart and i cant wait for their future interactions for real. ill always love them bc of how much chemistry they have. i like ships that have canon chemistry bc its so much easier to imagine a future w them.....hopefully benrius goes down as one of the most coded gay ships trust

[favouritefi]

I would be super fascinated to learn more about how Peglar's views re. If humans get to be people why can't I, affects his relationship with Bridgens - and really just about how they came to be in/navigate through that relationship. Your art is adorable and I love it doubly more so for the amount of care and consideration you have for the inner works of creating a dog/cat boy world. :)

aw thank you this au really is my brain going "crack treated seriously" and somehow making This and im glad other ppl enjoy it too. i have a lot of thoughts on this in terms of how much history to keep and how much to disregard so its under the cut:

so apparently in the book (which i have not read and do not plan to read) bridglar met on the hms beagle and as far as i can tell thats completely made up bc peglar was sailing w the east india company at the time.

then theres the show weirdness of bridgens being like in his 50s/60s when irl bridgens was in his 20s and this makes more sense bc as far as i can tell the position of steward was usually one reserved for younger men so for 50smth bridgens to be jfj's steward is a little odd and esp odd if hes a human in a position that is typically meant for cat/dogboys so my logic for this is that either 1) jfj requested bridgens to be his steward or 2) bridgens requested to be jfj's steward and either option would mean giving bridgens and jfj a slightly closer relationship than what they have in show canon which is fine that just means peglar and bridgens likely met during the first opium war but then how they met is still a mystery bc peglar would be aboard the wanderer with hodgson and bridgens would be on the cornwallis/clio with jfj so like ???

POINT BEING for all the reasons above ive handwaved away exactly how they meet but AT SOME POINT they do meet during the first opium war. peglar was the one who initiated the relationship tho the two of them did have mutual feelings for each other before committing to anything and bridgens is deffo the kinda guy who would go all "i would love you no matter what species you are" and actually mean it and peglar. ok so. i have a lot of thoughts about peglar.

so irl peglar was lashed for drunkeness and mutinous conduct while serving with the east indian company and for catboy peglar i like to imagine that travelling to places where cat/dogboys arent treated the way they are treated in england really opened his eyes and his mind to the idea of being treated like a person and this is obviously not a mindset that human officers want him to have and hence why he was lashed. he then served on the wanderer fighting against the slave trade and thats another chance to see a different type of human-to-cat/dogboy relationship even if he wouldnt have had as many opportunities to live amongst the locals as he did while with the east india company. and peglars like, smart. part of the reason why bridgens falls in love w him is bc of his intelligence and cheek and wit and peglar knows that britiannia's "civilizing mission" is bogus because while they are trying to abolish slavery on one hand they are also actively enforcing Company rule in India on the other and bc peglar has seen both sides of that he has Thoughts about it, Thoughts he didnt dare share with anyone until bridgens coaxed it out of him and to his surprise bridgens agreed with him.

bridgens, being well read and well educated, also knows that the way england treats cat/dogboys is the exception and not the rule and really like cherishes peglar and loves him like truly loves him and is thus completely aware of and careful of their uneven power dynamic here and wouldve never been the first to initiate anything for that very reason. and its not easy to navigate this forbidden relationship but peglar makes it worth it and both of them did worry that maybe this was merely a maritime romance but in the months between the war and the expedition they managed to sneak in lowkey dates on land and found that they were still very much compatible and it really makes things all the more tragic that bridgens cant afford to adopt peglar outright and ensure that henry lives out the rest of his days in peace curled up next to the fire with a good book and smiling whenever he catches john staring at him and god, they are so in love.

[joculatrixster]

"ill admit i dont watch sos nor raft streams but im calling out ppl who r calling scott specifically abusive and ive literally never seen anyone as vilinized as scott in fics i can think off the top of my head 3 fics ive seen where scott is the vilian and portrayed as jimmys abuser which is NOT true for anyone u mentioned." You can't say Scott is the only one villainized in the same breath as admitting you haven't seen content where other CCs get villainized by the audience.

Many of the *exact same people* who criticize Scott have also come out with posts talking about how uncomfortable Sausage makes them, some of them specifically citing his behavior toward Jimmy in SOS. Of course, I can't say that's true for everyone in fandom who criticizes Scott, but in my experience people critical of Scott are critical of others, too, regardless of their sexuality. Saying the criticism is fueled by homophobia doesn't track when the people criticizing Scott are also criticizing straight CCs/characters for very similar things.

Everyone has a different fandom experience based on what circles/fan archives/discussion boards they're on, and even on the same site people can have different experiences because of stuff like algorithms and who you're following. IIRC I have seen a fic where Grian, Jimmy, Joel and Lizzie were all siblings and Lizzie called out Grian and Joel for not being good brothers to Jimmy, while the only fic I've seen with Scott being "villainized" was a short ficlet where he did something small out of jealousy that didn't have any long term effects. I have actually gone *looking* for toxic FH fanfic and not found any. (I like complicated messy relationship story lines, so I feel like toxic FH in fic form would be fun to read.) Obviously this has not been your experience, but you seem to be treating your fandom experience as if it's the same for everyone else, which it's not.

its nnot just my experience when multiple multiple ppl have spoken out about how prominent it is specifically for scott again if its just a small issue id understand but the normalization is insane, ive seen a fic where scott turns jimmy into his pet doll and he needs to be saved from his clutches. ive read a gic where scott kills pearl and wants to destroy the entire world and has jimmy as his pet who he promised to keep as long as he stayed uner his thumb. ive read a fic where scott just leaves jimmy at the alter and pearl hunts him down and lashes out violently at him and we r meant to side w pearl for attacking him bc he didnt feel bad for poor jimmy. these were not obscure fics or small fics. u seem to assume an issue others r clearly pointing out theyve seen way more than others is only something some fridnge guy is complaining about instead of perhaps something UVE missed hm? uve seen 1 fic where joel and grian r kinda shitty to jimmy and get called out ive read multiple fics where scott breaks down jimmy as a person and needs to be saved from him, ive seen multiple posts calling irl scott smajor am abuser bc of one clip, ive seen pll say jimmy deadass is uncomfortable w FH and doesnt like scott which is just weird ass behavior. yes sausage gets flack i belive this but i haven't seen a shit ton of fics making sausage break jimmy soan mentally then get killed or punished in the end for being an irredeemable abuser. ive seen multiple of that for scott or just seeing scott in general in a veryyy negative light which is clearly due to an unfavorable interpretation of his character. which is fine, but name three fics where grian is intpreted that unfavorably w over 100 kueos. no seriously show me the fics where grian dies in the 3nd and its a thing everyone is happy about in the ficand they do not mourn him at all bc they hated him. go on!

its funny how ur orignal anon nitpicked my post and ur reply again nitpicks one part of a wider post as if the point i said was even what ur replyin to, im talking fandom space but even if i wasnt im talking life series fandom while i do mention oli thats just to ponnt out that One scott clip is not Just a scott thing, girl. vilinized in life series aka what i tagged, dont be stupid here its literally just making u look stupid 😭i used grian as an example bc hes someone who acts similar in the space i was criticizing and not sausage bc i am aware things may be different in a DIFFERENT context. ur majorlyyyy derialing and not rlly proving me wrong ur just proving that u dont rlly get what im saying which is fine but also all ur points r just...not disproving anything l. ur example is 1 grian and joel being criticized in one(1) fic(which is not what vilianized even means dude but hey ill give u this u did find one somewhat grian neg fic!) and 2 a guy not even in the fandom i tagged. girl...

[rattotheimperialcheesegod]

I wanna rant about my opinions on certain characters and aphmaus own character (mainly the cast of the "smp") this may be garbled since im just going off whats on my mind rn

SMP and OG series talk

Now Im not the biggest fan of mystreet, but im not a hater, i think its og first three seasons are fine (third seasons plot was straight ass through) but after season 4 and all the multiverse and mcd and mystreet worlds are in the same timeline thing, kinda made things werid

(especially with season 4 oh my god wtf was that)

But now that i see how those characters are used now.....for fucking cocomau content...

...I can't really give mystreet shit cause its cast was sent right into kid sensory video hell or just hell since a lot of characters didn't end up in the cocomau smp unless it was highschool themed videos (RIP katelyn and travis, forever in highschool puragatory dimension)

But those who were spared from the waste bin were cursed with a experience worse than death

Character Regression and Character Assassination

The entire cast of the aphmau smp (and one video returning characters too) all have their worst traits put to eleven or are at their most basic traits of the trope of their character where they are competely soul-less or lose past development in their character as a whole

(or your pierce, and you get a competely different personality from the og series you were from)

Now the reason why everyone is like this is of course (kids channel now) and (everyones supposed to be in a server and are irl ppl now)

But...when i said characters have their worst traits put up to eleven, is for one reason

Its so aphmau and aarons actions look better in comparisson, since shes the all perfect main character that does no wrong and is so nice to everyone and...aaron is basically the mvp of the smp, best fighter, builder, and "hottest guy" on the server and is the mysterous loner or some shit.

(Fact I hate these two so fucking much)

littary aphmau is the most overdramatic marysue bitch ive ever seen when it comes to reasons why she has the right to go apeshit on her friends and i could bring up several videos, i really could, its not hard

noteablely, the many times she has decided to just kill her best friends or ruin her friends lives out of petty reasons and childish reasons none the less, and god this girl just loves getting pissy when someone does the exact thing she did to another, since only she can steal others stuff or blow up their house, or be overpowered to a point where shes just cheating.

But oh my god, jessica you know how to make me hate all the rest of your bitches too!

(besides noi, kim and pierce, they are perfect to me, noi is on thin ice tho)

KC, Zane, Ein and Aaron are on my list of bitches I wouldnt hesitate to fucking kill on sight if i saw their color coded asses spawn into a ACTUAL minecraft server. (ill get to that color coding thing too btw)

The Asshole and The Clown

Now fuck where do i begin with these four, like all of them over the past three to four years has become the most annoying and aggrevating characters

But, just so I don't pull someones nerve with the true "fan" favorites, Aaron, the jerrysue of the smp and basically her perfect half cause hes jusr her but as a man, he's a jackass that is never called out for his asshole behavior like every other male character is, hes always put as being smarter, better, stronger, and more attractive than any of the other guys too, basically being the best alpha male ever to exist....but not really, not even a single bit

I swear this is the worst verison of aaron ive ever seen in my life, the biggest try hard ive ever seen, all the girls wanna date him, always gloating when theres someone around he believes hes better than, and god he is not nice to others who arent good at building like him. Honestly, MAN ISNT NICE AT ALL!! like only time he is nice is of course to the purple stain that is his irl wife, like the times this guy was just violent for no reason, insulting or just aggrevated around anyone was just making me feel like...

aaron do you even like any of these people??, cause ive seen every way he talks to all of the cast and he sounds like he wants them all gone and dead so he can just be all cutesy and shy around aphmau, like dude if you think all of them are annoying, dont live near by them?????

(Now, ive mentioned both the channel mascot couple of the smp, but heres the thing, when i said the other characters make these two look like angels, i mean it)

Now we are actually really digging, and we didnt even need to go far, we've already struct gold!...but theres not much...

Ein, the worst villian and most pathetic man to ever live.

What a time, season 4 of mystreet! and we got the biggest clown with the biggest alpha complex to ever exist! and the evolution of a creep in werewolves as a whole....it was fucking werid

Anyway, now smp ein is a true irl villian, hes no longer just a anime incel, hes a fucking sexist gamer incel also!

Now, Ein really isnt too interesting (wow what a surprise) really hes one of the characters who has been put to his most basic traits making him extra annoying, extra obessed with power and, of course still be madly in love with aphmau but if it wasnt known, aphmau changed alittle bit of eins lore, making him no longer related to her (only in the smp cannon tho💀) which is a good thing! but its only a change that was made for horrible reasons, being that she still needs him to be aarons rival and as i said before, be aphmaus possible second "choice", which is...normal for aphmau honestly....

(Aphmau can't have a single man on this server just not be into her, even if the guy clearly has a love interest thats not her)

Strangely though she really likes to romantically pair Ein with everyone, even men, so at least we know she still has that problem with her ocs...

Hes like her little lab rat and i hate her so so much, but fuck its hard to feel bad for him since this women will than have this man be the worlds second most grossiest sexist incel you could ever come across

wait did I say second--

Zane ro'meave and his several counts of "GET A JOB, STAY AWAY FROM HER"

(mystreet zane is fine, mcd zane is the perfect kinda villain for what mcd was, and smp zane is hell on earth, the end)--

Zane in the aphmau smp is kinda...a jumpscare in a half since you never know when hes gonna switch, cause...he has the biggest habit of either, being the biggest smartass in the room or the scariest "my lady" ass incel you could ever fucking dream apon, just every bit of his charm from mystreet that made you kinda push aside the slight every now and than werid behavior he had, its just GONE

absolutely vanished! and yknow what

I hate zane, i hate him more than i hate anyone in this damn cast, im the biggest zane hater you will ever meet, and the reason for it is cause this verison of zane is the dark universe of if zane never grew from the FIRST season of mystreet, never got humbled or anything, and also if he still acted like a hormone filled highschooler whenever any women even looked his fucking way.

Hes a creep, hes a incel, hes still sexist and overprotective of his only female friend, but now even wants to date her just to have more control over who she can't and can speak to (code for, no guy friends allowed/no aaron, bo womp) and if he isnt doing that, hes drooling and creepily mumbling to himself about the pink cat girl he has a massive crush on.

Honestly worst part of it is that he acts like this outta nowhere, and even worse, recently theres been this obession with him NEEDING KC's diary, wanting to know every single little thing about her so he knows how to woe her and even see if she likes him, which is just...

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH HIM???!!!??

APHMAU WHY DID YOU MAKE HIM BE LIKE THIS??!!??

(and hes not even punished for it, like maybe kc telling him that hes creepy or smth, nothing, just nothing, proubly cause recently they have been competely implied to be dating now)

but, its not like miss kc is perfect, oh boy, kc is...

The two sided bitch and her jealously and spite of her "perfect" best friend + shipping

Oh KC, when i first started watching all this cocomau trash, you were boring as hell, just a cute cat girl who likes to bake and be pretty, and just another yes man for that purple cunt, but ever since you started being a cunt yourself, you have only been a pain to watch and listen to, you have only made me hate you and your little lap dog of a boyfriend even more honey

So KC, our resident cute cat girl isnt really all that cute of recent, she slowly becoming more spiteful, having anger issues, being more whiney, bratty, jealous, and unloyal to her partner, creating the most toxic couple in the entire smp verse

(but this was something that was gonna happen at some point, aarmau has to stay as the perfect ship, couple goals yknow, so zane x kc has be anti-aarmau, toxic behavior all around)

Now KC is a unloyal and horrible partner for a few reasons, shes a massive hypocrite and sadly abusive.

1. She gets mad at Zane for even speaking to other girls, or even seemingly flirting with them, specifically any of the marry, date, kill videos with both of them in it can be a big example of this behavior.

But than when we look the other way to her, she gets to playfully talk, compliment and flirt with any guy she wants, and gets all angry when shes stopped from doing it, also she only does this with aaron btw, since shes jealous of aphmau having "the hottest, coolest, and sweetest guy in the server" for a boyfriend.

(aaron is littary none of those things and just pointing out more to how aaron is a jerrysue)

2. KC IS SO FUCKING VIOLENT WITH ZANE OH MY GOD, i guess aphmau still thinks when a women hits or beats up her male partner, its her being in the right or it being super duper funny and wacky!

(this entire short is an example of that)

But I will say though, it isnt just KC, their a toxic couple cause their both terrible partners, zane is equally just as hypocritical and unloyal, but hes a lot more oppessive and even more jealous prone,

(kim is usually a victim of being between the two but fr fr, kim genuinely hates zanes, aphmau just keeps making more drama for no reason and really wants ppl to also ship kim x zane, which....when it comes to everyones opinion of mystreet kim and ghost existing and everything with season 4....it is never gonna fucking happen you dumb purple cunt)

My Inner Demons-Character regression and personality switches (a short one)

Now that we are off those characters, lets end this off with our favorite little daemos!

Noi and Pierce!

Now, im a advid lover of my inner demons, its the last of aphmaus good content before the purge and its sadly the best of her writing, but the fact that she put them in the smp is a red flag, and i instantly noticed things...

...Pierce is a silly himbo goofball now that has a brain the size of a pea, and who loves sheep

and

Noi is the most basic sweet little good boy, does no wrong little guy, baking cooking and eating pizza

(now im not mad about this, since i got to know the smp verisons of them before their og selfelves)

but fuck i prefur when noi had depth and was genuinely mean and kinda rude on purpose.

im mixed with pierce tho cause i like both verisons of him, i think both verisons of him are neat, his va has good range, respect that

The End

Well thats all i gotta say, ratto out and about

[marygodwin-bsd]

Rating members of the Guild based on nothing but my own vibes (I haven't seen all of season 3)

there is a part 1 and 2 of this and ill probably make a part 4

Lucy M. Montgomery

10/10 for the fact once she showed up the show stopped treating kyouka like a possible ship for atsushi. 3/10 for the fact they gave her braces but when they needed her to be attractive they got rid of them ??? her design is 7/10, i like all her colors and shes very distinct, but she has the same issue as kunikida does with those big flyaway spikes that ernd up changing the entire hairstyle? just braids would have been fine. 9/10 for that incredibly cool but confusing power, also I just love her so much overall imma give her an 8/10

Nathaniel Hawthorne

im totally biased bc I liked the scarlett letter except for how much this man loved commas ANYWAYS this guys power is 10/10 freaking SICK I LOVE IT. 6/10 for the design its not bad but its very uhh .. monochromatic?? still cool and i get it might be because the red stands out but like give him one more red piece on his person. 10/10 for secretly being hoplessly in love with margaret?? I love it??? it reminds me so much of the book because of how hester and whatever his name was are super comfortable and sweet with one another in the forest and no one knows about them its peaceful and its fantastic ily nate overall 8/10 he seems like the kind of priest who would give free hugs at a pride parade

Margaret Mitchell

10/10 for the literal interpretation of Gone With The Wind but i wanna see her make a tornado. 10/10 for being in love with Hawthorne i love a secret romance. 7/10 for that accent in the english VA. 4/10 for seeming like shed be a little... a little phobic idk why i just get that vibe and this is about vibes love the fit 7/10 im just wondering how she can stand to possibly get her skirt wet 7/10 overall i just dont know enough about her to comment on anything else

John Steinbeck

8/10 for that power being cool but looking so viscerally gross. 7/10 for looking like Baldroy and Finny smashed together, 5/10 for that backstory bc i get it but dude youre going the wrong way. 9/10 for growing grapes for me <3. but 3/10 for putting the girls in danger cmon man be a gentleman overall 7/10

James L.

(I cannot find a Gif.) uh 6/10 for being there but then he dipped i didnt even know who this was

Mark Twain

GIMME MORE 5/10 for how i dont understand his ability at all did they just not know what to do and so they gave him his own tiny characters???? 8/10 because hes so cute but uh all the redheads in this show look related bc they are the Same Shade of RedHeaded cmon hony you know how to move a slider towards yellow just make his hair a little lighter. Theres not much about him and im not sure why hes a sniper 6/10 for not getting it, but hes cute! overall 7/10

H.P. Lovecraft

10/10 the best way they couldve represented him- honestly i was SO WORRIED bc you know you know what IRL lovecraft was like(0/10 for his racism) im just glad they didnt make him like his IRL counterpart instead they just made him like one of his own monsters 9/10! Fantastic idea! I like how just plain weird he is? he has no ability. hes just Like That. the guild just decided they wanted him. team pet. let him nap. 9/10 on that design, hes monochromatic but his hair and face and all that are distinct. oh also 10/10 because in that one fight he uh kunikida uh uh uh 9/10 overall really well done

Herman Melville

dont know much about him at this moment um 4/10 i hate his beard whats going on there uh 8/10 for the fact he and Moby Dick can talk to eachother and also have arguments apparently??? way to be one with thyself dude 6/10 because i know very little about him

Louisa May Alcott

baby 7/10 but i feel like shes lonely also how on earth does her ability have anything to do with Little Women?? is time slowing down like, a knock on the book? are they calling it slow?? i'll never know. 8/10 design i like it a lot i mean shes not super distinct but shes cute. overal 8/10

Edgar Allen Poe

POE!!!! i heard about poe before i watched the show uh 4/10 for how dirty they did him giving him a pet raccoon i love Karl but that is foul (RIP irl Poe rabies mustve sucked) 8/10 for his dynamic with rampo, though i havent gotten far enough to find true ship material beyond that one episode? 7/10 for the design its cool but a bit impractical and i feel like hes doing it for show but honestly its a stylistic choice overall 8/10 for his everything love him

F. Scott Fitzgerald

Money monehy money, must be funny, in a rich mans world 10/10 for how much he loves his wife i know irl FSG was a dbag to his so great improvement i also think its so funny that his power is Money like how did you learn that so 9/10 for that. 7/10 for that design i can get on board with most of it but his bangs look too much like kunikidas and what is that tie pattern??other than that hes fantastic. the backstory is sad and i wish he could save his daughter. 8/10 overall bc he still beat up atsushi

Part 1 here Part 2 here Part 4 here

[slowdripsunrise]

book review for into the drowning deep by mira grant!!! spoilers under the cut! just found out the author has a tumblr well if u find this pretty please dont look theres nothing bad in here its just not for you! reviews are for readers and you can get constructive criticism from a paid editor and not random readers doing this for free :)

ok i. literally just finished this and am writing it as i am staring at the finished checkmark on my computer lol wanted to get this out so i didnt forget. anyways ok so i super liked this book. love feels like a strong word bc i think im on too much adhd meds to really feel it like that but yeah i really really liked it.

OBViously the best part about this book were the mermaids. i came into it wanting mermaids and creepy shit in the ocean and science and thats what i got. they were creepy wnd fucked up and vicious and murderous amd beautiful and i loved them so much. especially that we got their pov! and how sometimes from their pov we would get little hints of answers about them before the scientists did. i liked that. loved the ocean imagery especially from dr toth was it heavy handed? maybe. idc i love the ocean.

this was also again. creepy as fuck not downright terrifying which surprised me bc im a huge wimp. but i was on the edge of my seat and anxious and nervous for a lot of the characters... which leads me to my next point i guess i dont really feel like i connected per say with all of the characters as much as others. like i feel connected for sure to olivia, especially when its her pov, the probable undiagnosed autism diagnosis goes crazy. and i really liked the wilsons, luis was nice, i liked dr toth. everyone else i didnt really care. which is fine i read this for cool mermaids !!

another thing i would kill for more of was the linguistics with hallie and lennox and the mermaid like i fucking LOVE that shit, and also what happened to said mermaid other than just a small bit at the end about it being bought by some rich guy. also would like to see more of the matriarch mermaid. i love the absolute ancient and archaic nature of creatures that are just fuckin so big, especially when it relates to the ocean. and also maybe i missed where her size was actually describe and im generally really bad at conceptualizing how big things are when just given like. measurements but i was picturing this thing as more colossal than anything else, which would tie into luis' research, right?? pretty sure that was his whole schtick and i wanted more of that... i do appreciate the mystery however. this book left me with questions, and not in a like this was filled with plot holes kinda way but more of a i need to know more this is probably how all those scientists felt kinda way. i like that i think. absolutely love how in these reviews im just spitballing ideas and seeing what sticks who knows tomorrow i probs wont agree with half the shit im saying but who cares. im working out my thought irl and this is what happens. on another note we had anchovies out for dinner and im not normally squeamish about them but. looking at them when reading this book did make me feel a bit weird so theres that. 4/5 stars had fun would recommend

[arsen1cs4ng0]

serious post, please read

i think im comfortable enough to talk about my experiences with the chip fandom from march 2022 until february 2023, and how much it really affected me.

i never really wanted to publicly open up about this shit due to past experience and what i had to witness with many of my friends, but im kinda sick of pretending everything is fine and great on here!!

some of the shit i'll be saying under the keep reading cut may be really upsetting, please keep that in mind before proceeding (tws for suicide and harassment) doubt anyone will read this seeing as im such a small account, but hey fucking ho lol

ughhh where the fuck do i begin i created the starlandspoons account in the hopes of trying to warm up to the chip fandom again after enduring so much on the twitter side of it (hoping the tumblr side would be a little better) but... even with me trying to create good memories like i was able to in early 2022.... the pain i felt never subsided.

this is the part where val moans about their chip trauma!! the main shit (im not calling this """drama""". this shit is serious) started in late february of 2022. a controversial figure in the chip fandom, gremlin, came out with an ""apology"" for her actions (i go in detail about her actions here), blaming her actions in 2020/21 on shit like "i was doing it to piss people off" and much more that i dont really want to think about. admittedly, i initially fell for this, being too naive to understand exactly how bad she was (i knew she was bad, but didnt realise how bad)

now heres where the shit really started. back in march of 2022, i witnessed one of my friends on twitter (not naming who, i dont want them to get harassed again) get bombarded with hate + get vagueposted for not forgiving her. people started block-evading them, one person started being enbyphobic towards said person... you can get the idea here. the first time, it did a bit of damage on the way i viewed chip. i lost my taste in it temporarily. that was, until a few days later, where i had a new hyperfixation related to chip (lil guy), which kept my love for it going for a little longer!! that hyperfixation was so strong (stronger than any of my other ones had been) it was able to keep me mostly distracted from the bad shit. mostly.

everything was cool. great. as far as i remember... until late may/early june 2022. back in may of 2022, i became friends with someone called yuzu. they ran an account on twitter where they posted chip songs, tts songs, a/e songs, you get the picture... i became really good friends with them for a while, they were always there to listen to me, we'd talk a lot, yknow. what stood out was that nobody else i knew was that understanding. i was bullied a lot irl, and it was comforting to have that person there for you. i felt.... great!!!

the night of june 9th came, where they got blocked by my friends for "recommending a song from a bad person". they let me know about this, i checked what happened, and... it was a song from gremlin. this didnt bother me too much until i tried to explain to them that they were both problematic... they didn't listen. i dont remember the exact details now as my brain blocked out most of it, but i remember this almost made me spiral into a meltdown, and i suddenly couldnt stand them. i blocked them because i was too uncomfortable and i was on a brink of a meltdown.

june 10th, they made a whole vent about me. guess who had a meltdown!! multiple meltdowns in the span of 2 weeks!! how did i know?? twitter bugged out on me. the vent completely broke me. i was reminded of my ex and how they talked to me. i started getting scared of myself. i felt like a monster. i seriously wanted to kill myself. at that point, i was waiting for my chip friends to block me because i started all of the shit this time!! shit people wanted to move on from!! my brain was convincing me that my chip friends hated me!! (and to this day i still feel like that sometimes)

i had so many more meltdowns from that time. late june, i had to defend another friend (who i'll refer to as bones, for privacy reasons) from being manipulated by them. i was so angry one of my friends went to calm me down through dms. i was so stressed out of my mind that i even went non-verbal one time, which rarely happens!! this continued on and on and on, spending my time and energy defending my friends. i found out so much more about gremlin, even more gross shit, seeing she was friends with someone who is very openly radf*m/a t*rf (+ blamed bones for their own personal family problems), someone who was openly proshit (+ was one of the people who harassed one of my friends)... you get the picture.

this ate away at my mental health more, to the point where i started contemplating suicide. shit i dealt with irl really didnt help either.

the worst part was in january of this year where i had a really bad panic attack because i was scared bones was going to kill themself and there was nothing i could do about it. after that i gave up with the fandom because i finally accepted no matter what i did, nobody would listen. to bones, the friend im talking about, i hope you're okay and i'm sorry i chickened out. im sorry i failed you.

i attempted to try to step my toe into the chip fandom a few months later again by creating the starlandspoons account as my vosim hyperfix was still there and i really missed the good times, but... i still felt unhappy. i have nightmares about the chip fandom sometimes. i am constantly reliving the shit i had to witness in my head. im still feeling the anger i felt those months ago. im still getting angry at myself for not doing more to defend my friends. im still feeling suicidal (not just from the chip fandom, but its contributing to it). it all hurts so much, to this day.

im still going to post on the starlandspoons account for as long as my vosim hyperfix continues. yall are not taking that from me.

sorry for such a heavy vent post, but ive just been needing to let this out for such a long time. it's 4am, i desparately need to sleep. i will say this a thousand times more: thank you to the chip friends who have stayed by my side despite all the shit i endured. thank you so much, you guys really mean to me. seriously, you guys do. i dont know what i'd do without you guys. and to 3 certain people from the chip fandom (you 3 know who you are), thank you especially.

for those who read all of this, thank you for listening to silly little val. i'll be okay, i think. i hope you guys have a good day/night/whatever time it is for you. ;___;

[shwarmii]

uhhhhh wow that'a a lot of votes. i thought id be lucky to get 20 within the week. okay

(1) i wont out the youtuber bc they have a somewhat small following of under 1 million and, seeing how i severely underestimated this poll's turn-out, uhhhhhhhh, not going to even chance a comment-section deviation on their video. part of why i made this poll was because nobody had commented on the youtuber's pronounciation.... but they had said "Bob-o", i will admit that. i had said [redacted pronounciation] in my tags bc i didnt wanna sway shit but aT 3K+ VOTES IN 13 HOURS, I THINK I WON'T SWAY A GODDAMN ONE OF YOU, JFC, thanks for the sample size

(2) "Boo-boo" (like a ghost's "boo" ×2; or like a kid's ouchie) is very valid, i very much regret not thinking of it to include here

(2.5) i have never seen it spelled as "Booboo the fool" but i believe you; and if you said that's the og form of the meme, i can believe that too. ive just only seen "Bobo", personally, but, again, i believe you. im no expert on memes, hence, the poll of my ignorance. it is entirely possible i have been seeing off-shoot memes of "Booboo" shortened to "Bobo"

(2.5 edit ×2) ive now been shown "Booboo" memes and the meme wiki, so i have no explanation for why i have only seen the "Bobo" variations here on our hellish www.tumblr.com; but it def feels like ive been shown real Oreos after eating Fake/Healthy/Off Brand-Oreos all my life, wowza. i believed you guys before but now i too am confused why ive only see "Bobo" off-shoots. huh. wondered how that happened. regardless, then id expect "fourth pronounciation" to be higher than since "Boo-boo" (like a ghost's "boo" ×2; or a kid's ouchie) doesn't sound like "Bo-bo" (like "bow and arrow" with "bow" ×2) since as of rn (19 September 2023, 3:30 PM PST) "Bo-bo" is in the lead at 72% whereas "a fourth pronounciation" is at 18%... or is Booboo The Fool still pronounced like "Bo-bo" ("bow and arrow", "bow" ×2) and isnt pronounced phoentically like "Boo-boo" (ghost's "boo" ×2; or like a kid's ouchie) like i assumed?? idk. anything can change within a week and we aren't even 24 hours in yet

(3) i say "Bo-bo", but i think all ways are fine. "Boo-boo" is especially valid. i think its funnier if you can floor me into doing a spit-take like that youtuber with their "Bob-o the fool" pronounciation; keep at that shit, love that for you. but also i do admittingly feel really validated with "Bo-bo" being in the lead. idk how many of you are true "Bo-bo"s and how many of you are "Boo-boo"s doing the closest thing instead of picking "a fourth and secret option" (fair enough, they are def the sibling-pronounciations as opposed to the all the other variations), but i accept you into this camp anyway, hello, have a cupcake

(4) "Bow-bow" (kind of like a dog barking, but just the first half of "bow-wow") is fucking wild, i love it, hearing that would make me choke on my water for sure. wish i had thought to add you guys too, jfc

(5) the people saying "Boh-boh" need to give me an example to help me differentiate it from the "Bo-bo" (like "bow and arrow" but "bow" ×2) camp bc my ass can only see "Boh" pronounced like "Bo"

(5 edit) thank you, someone explained it was like "bowing" to someone which means it has a soft "h" and no hard "w". valid

(6 edit) i made a new, more inclusive poll variation if anybody prefers to vote over there instead lmao youre good to stay here if you want, or vote on both, idk, again, im not your parents lmao

(7 edit) thank you to the people correcting me this is not a meme (a meme is how it was popularized into breaching contianment; but it itself is not a meme), but is actually AAVE. i am non-Black (im a mixed Indigenous American of multiple tribes and am two-spirited; nonetheless, i am non-Black) and will work on removing and replacing this bit of appropriation out of my vocabulary so as to not alienate any of the irl Black people in my life with my lack of fluency in AAVE. also thank you to the people trying to uncover how the off-shoot of Bobo happened (the two main theories are (1) Bobo was a real-life clown up until the 70s, so its possible that it just a case of crossed wires from this game of telephone i was unknowingly a part of; and (2) the word "bobo" is Spanish and Portuguese and Filipino and some other languages term for "silly", "idiot", and/or "fool", depending, thus making Bobo The Fool into a bit of a Moon Moon which is by itself funny and likely also added to the game of telephone that created the off-shoot i kept experiencing instead of the og meme) obviously, i have no idea how the said off-shoot happened, so who is to say how it did. but your theories prove you are all very clever ♡ thank you all for the education ♡

i just heard one of my favorite youtubers say this meme out loud in a video and the pronounciation FLOORED ME so now i gotta know:

poll is just "which way do you say it"; tags is "which way is right", assuming your answer to "which way is right" is different to "which way do you say it". or i guess tags are also for uhhhhhh if your answer is complicated and if you wanna explain, if you have a diff way of pronouncing (pls tell meeeee), or whatever else you want, im not your parents, idk

[memes-and-shit]

🍁 uhhhhh, you guys can call me Gromit. that's a good-enough fake-name lol i go by they/them pronouns, i am confirmed to be over 18 years old, and that's all my info y'all get ✌️

🍁 i didn't make most of this. or any of it, really. (sometimes, i edit; but i dont consider my edits to be "i made this" bc... i didnt make the core thing i am editing) so, anything you wanna use? no need to credit me. i'd like to see what you make using it, for shits and giggles, but that's not mandatory

🍁 i try to post credit to "the little guys" i make stuff from whenever i can figure out the source

➥ some of this stuff i find second- or third-hand where i have no clue who the "little guy" that made this is; feel free to reblog to add the applicable credit, and (after i do some fact-checking, bc some people online ✨️lie✨️) then i will reblog what you said + alter the original post to now have credit. but multi-million/billion-companies, celebrities, etc?? idgaf, you can VERY easily find out who the source

🍁 most things are on a queue

🍁 i don't do requests, sorry

🍁 here's how you can make your own edits tho??

🍁 some things i edited to have captions (#my edit + #captioned); others, already had captions (just #captioned); only a few videos don't have captions (#uncaptioned)

🍁 i tag based on what my Reactions Folder's sub-folders were. thats how i organize. idc about attention; meaning, 99% of the time, idc about tagging "correctly", so it crops up under the "correct" "tumblr tag-pages"-or-whatever-theyre-called

🍁 organizational tags i use below "read more". below that are some statements too

➥ said statements table-of-contents: about helping me credit the little guys [[titled: "sources psa"]] 🍁 my opinions on when to credit an editor and whatnot, and when i will/won't credit another editor (which does explain why idgaf about y'all not crediting me when i do edits lmao) [[titled: "a potential controversy"]] 🍁

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏post-topic tags

#off theme

➥ (aka: these posts are not "memes & shit"; probably me posting a life-update or similar? idk)

#masterlist series

➥ (aka: anything i think is a mini-series of "things i have posted". i will VERY rarely do these, stuff's gotta be hyper-specific for me to feel like a masterlist is warranted. like. the first one of these i made was not just a Kylee Henke masterlist series, but a Kylee Henke's Zoobe Bunny Excerpt-Videos masterlist series. like i said, shit's got to be hyper-specific. if i made one for everything and everyone, i would get so overwhelmed so quickly, it's better this way, just let it be hyper-specific only lol)

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏post-typage tags

#my edit

➥ (aka: these are posts i "made", or at least did something to (eg. adding captions). these are like "the templates")

#my customization

➥ (aka: me applying an example of how to use "the templates". usually is from my irl life of me using these @my loved ones, and i post them here bc im a little bit too attached to wanna delete said customization entirely 👉👈🥺)

#captioned, #uncaptioned

#video

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏additional tags: my "esp for" tags

➥ (aka: the post is esp, or "especially", useful for these groups)

#esp for writers and i.f. creators

➥ (aka: posts will be applicable about writing, about discussing fictional characters, and so on)

#esp for artists

➥ (aka: posts will be applicable about doing art (the "art" in question primarily being drawing), and so on)

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏my Reaction Folders' titles ➡ now tags

my aforementioned Reactions Folders' titles:

#

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏sources psa

expect these to be the least consistent thing i do, ever, but sure, ill add them sometimes, i guess, when i remember/know who the source is. more likely the aforementioned "little guys" than anybody else tho, ngl. but said little guys will get credit either within the post and/or within the image/video itself; and if i forget to also tag said credit, i think that's fine. i'll still try to do it, even though i know ill be inconsistent and forgetful the little guys and big guys, but also shhhhhhh if i forget. i'm doing my best, just let my mistakes go, let it be inconsistent

➥ but also do feel free to reblog the post (if it's an aforementioned "little guy" ESPECIALLY) and help source credit! (➡ note, for said lil guys, i will fact-check at MY leisure, assuming i see your reblog notif to begin with. and if i see that your sourcing is correct: ill reblog your addition AND edit the og post. just. do me the common decency of not insulting me for forgetting to source/not knowing who to source, whichever lol

bc i do have understandable reasons for not always knowing who to source?? bc a lot of these are videos i got from tiktok accounts, tumblr posts, and other websites where the "op" of said item?? was NOT the actual original poster, and did not source the people/person/etc within the item. ans now idk who to credit too lmao rip

● which, for artists and editors-whose-edits-are-NOT-simple-edits you can tell bc that item did not match the style/s already attached to their account, and didnt say something like "trying a new style!" or whatever in the bio or comments or something. idk. people who never can "stick to one style" still have a general large encompassing area they still to, ive never gotten a "i dont really have an art-/editing-style" person confused with an art-/editing-thief. and im one of those people who constantly change up their art/edits/writing/aesthetic/etc ("idk what exact box i fit into. im just me"), which i think? maybe helps me??? on figuring out if someone is a thief or is just inconsistent/experimenting/"just being me"/whatever?? but yeah! an art-thief especially, and oftentimes also edit-thieves, tend to be pretty obvious they are a thief. even if the comments have not already caught on. bc sometimes youll see a comment outright saying "you stole this from xyz" or "you traced xyz's art/you copied xyz's edit" but not always

● several others? especially ones that were videos of irl people?? i always check out the account and, MANY times have went "..okay this account is just a compilation of memes/jokes/etc, idk. but its VERY safe to assume they are definitely reposting and are NOT the irl person in the video". the person/people in this video assumedly are unaware their video of them being a silly lil goofball they posted on their personal account is here, on an account that compiles memes and funny videos. (bc its VERY rare that an account focused on humor will post content that reveals their face and/or their loved one/s. so. safe to assume it isn't theirs.) and i do want to find the original personal account this image/video in question came from, so i do look. there's a very small margin of error where, if a video looks really old, i wont look tho bc i assume the original account it was posted on is gone and, if it really looks old enough or like enough of "that type of oops funny thing was improv'ed" gag that i think maybe it was on "America's Funniest Home Videos" or a similar clip-show on cable?? ill admit, those ones, i dont try. but if it's like "this obviously friends trying to do a silly trend on tiktok"?? yeah, of course, i look for the account that came from, absolutely. but yeah, that's the usual spectrum for those types. i rarely find, much less keep, videos i can see landing on those "America's Funniest Home Video" type of clip-shows. so, really, the only "danger" there is for being a new video featuring irl people who idk? to go uncredited AND be a rare case where i didn't even try to look for the original account?? is, again, if the low-resolution and content of the video makes me think the video is old enough to where searching would be pointless. to which i then ask, fam? why the fuck is the resolution so bad that i thought this was maybe uploaded to Vine or MySpace (or MAYBE even was a VHS mailed to early-EARLY "AFHV"? lmao imagine), the fuck lol???? but whatever, nobody's perfect, i think you can grant me this kind of margin of error if my anxiety is already willing to grant it lmao

which, ill fully admit. i care about crediting these people for my own self-interests. like, sure, i do it in no small part bc it's the nice and kind thing to at least TRY to do. but also?? i do care about ensuring that person gets a shout-out bc of my anxiety catastrophisizing the hypothetical of a post of mine blowing up and inducing me to feel massive guilt from the fact that i didnt give credit to the people who actually made the item in question so they could also share in the attention of virality. so like. i dont assume ill go viral?? i WORRY ill go viral lmao if? that?? makes sense? which. i have trauma that i know would make me hate even a quarter-of-the-way viral levels of attention would imply. and i feel like, if this account was to ever go viral (god forbid. gatekeep me. dont let it happen lol there's a significant chance i might abandon this account if that happens), i feel like one thing that would basically be destined to happen is i would get chronically-online people criticizing me for not crediting my sources and riding on other people's hard-work. which like. i know they would do anyway since im not perfect at crediting. but if i didnt even TRY, that would hurt differently in a way that'd fuck me up. never know who could be the next hypothetical Cinderella story, like how Kombucha-Girl became the p fucking famous Britney Broski (regardless on your or my own feelings on Britney Broski, she did get her fame from a jokey meme that totally changed her life). give people their credit. like. i am also doing it to be nice and kind, sure! but know that even if i felt exhausted of all my nicities and kind inklings somehow on some certain day?? my anxiety would still demand i at least TRY to find the source. like. anytime you see NO credit?? ANYWHERE??? know the day i found the image/video, i probably spent a good chunk of time between 15 to 45 minutes, out of niceness and kindness and also to appease my anxiety, trying to find the source before calling it quits and saying "at least i tried" (aforementioned exceptions and/or margin of error notwithstanding lol)

which, with everyone where i have TRIED to see if i could reverse-image-source the item?? ive had mixed results from that. sometimes, i found them; sometimes, i didn't. but feel free to try again for me. you might get the correct result a lot quicker than me!

("wha—? h- how.. would i?? get the correct result...? quicker than you...??")

well. my information im about to share with you could be outdated or incomplete, so take this with a grain of salt. but i remember in elementary school how my teacher told our class that google alters the search-results per [insert IP or whatever the technical term she said that ive forgotten is] depending on the history of searches. she told us this so that "if you can't find the answer you need, it doesn't mean you're stupid. ask a friend to check their search-results and find the answer together! it might just be google being picky about what words (or i guess the equivalent would be which frame you chose to screenshot in your and my case, since i dont think an image-file itself being uploaded could result in pickiness) you decided to use, or perhaps it's results are biasedly influenced by what the AI has learned about your family through your families' collective internet search-history". which was basically her sly way of telling us to not depend on the first results we find, or even the first page of results, but to be critical of our sources in their credibility and whatnot. so, the way i understood what she meant was via an example she proceeded to give us that went SOMETHING(?) like this:

(🅰️) a kid whose parent is a professor with a doctorate who brings work home often, meaning they use the family-wifi to research academic studies. when that kid googles "teach me about pyramids"? their results may be extremely well-regarded articles about the Egyptian pyramids (such as the New York Times), peer-reviewed journals about the Egyptian tombs history, Khan Academy and other very good mathematical sources to help you understand how pyramids work within geometry, a released study-guide of various pyramids' formulas (relating to geometry) from Harvard's math-degree program, and much more. a very good foundation for their Egyptian pyramid report for class, and the math could help with that research in breaking down those pyramids dimensions in that report which could give that student an interesting angle that puts their report from an "A" status to an "A+" status, especially if their parent can help them plug in the right numbers into the relevant formulas! very helpful

vs. (🅱️) a kid whose parent works in accounting and taxes, who strives for a healthy work-life balance of never bring work home as often as possible. as a result, the parent uses the family wifi to play pseudo-gambling-with-fake-money apps on their phones more than anything else, to de-compress and de-stress. when that kid googles "teach me about the pyramids"? their results will include some articles about the Egyptian pyramids, but maybe not as credibly-sourced since the [insert IP or whatever it was called again] with this family's wifi isn't used to finding online resources of academic credibility. in fact, the student might get confused since a lot of results might be influenced by those pseudo-gambling phone-apps, and be showing the child information about Las Vegas's pyramids. which. isn't what the report is about. and due to this parent likely having to still bring work home sometimes, like during tax season or other stressful crunch-times, there might be way more math results about pyramids (geometry) than about the Egyptian pyramids. but accountants don't use geometry in their work, they use more basic arithmetic and algebra. so the formulas about the pyramids (geomtry) here would only talk about the pyramids of Egypt as part of the word-problems. so even if the parent was to also have the availability to help the kid plug in the accurate applicable numbers into the formula? those formulas are more likely to be not give a full picture of how to calculate the Egyptian pyramids' size and dimensions. and that's if the kid has the right numbers written down as they might have the dimensions for those Las Vegas pyramids instead, and feels inspired by these online results to even try to do this math (as the lack of "training the computer" to look for reliable articles means these word-problem results are more likely to be blank homework page examples, but could also include walk-throughs here and there like the Kid-A recieved plenty of). but those Egyptian pyramid articles, the most important part of this whole paper, are ALSO more likely to be from less reliable sources with perhaps incorrect information (bc people online like to lie. bc it is fun. but also sometimes people online think they are right when they actually fundamentally misunderstand something), like maybe Kid-B sees enough articles by conspiracy theorists on those unreliable websites that Kid-B thinks "aliens built the Egyptian pyramids" is a more seriously considered and debated topic of academic discussion than it is (which.. it's not. that actually has gotten the famous "Aleins" History Channel Meme Guy fired from his job bc his outspoken belief in this theory cpuld have risked his university's reputation and accreditation. so. yeah, no, Kid-B, those are not academic articles). overall, unless either the parent or Kid-B themselves catches that Kid-B has to sort through a lot more "proverbial litter" to find good, ACTUALLY academic, and ACTUALLY reliable sources of information about the Egyptian pyramids and Egypt's history, Kid-B could fail their report. even if they spent just as long on research and worked just as hard as Kid-A, all bc Kid-B was ignorant to their digital disadvantages and Kid-A unknowingly advantaged. all bc of that [thing with IP or AI or whatever it was called] and what it had learned from the family wifi what the assumed interests of its users would be. a feature no kid could easily turn off/on

which worked at making the kids in our class write down these Definitively Reliable Websites where we could search for accredited articles and peer-reviewed sources. i dont remember what they were back then, we were only in 5th or 4th grade. but it was a great lesson to be taught, im frankly shocked and a bit appalled that more kids were not taught this kind of syuff when teachers are first helping students learn how to research. everyone NOT from that class (even kids who did go to the same elementary school, but jusy did not have that teacher) all have been shocked as i am usually the first one to tell people about how, yeah, that's an aspect of how many (if not all) search-engines work

anyway. the information stuck with all of us from that class, as far as i can tell (a lot of us in that class attended the same middle and high school. like. at least 40% of us, if not a LOT more. so there was a rare time or two where id talk about this and i wouldn't be The First Person To Ever Tell Someone This Search-Engine Info. and every time it was bc the peer in question i just told would go "oh! yeah, i remember [insert name of other kid that i shared that elementary teacher with] said the same to me, like, last year!" or something. but that WAS rare so idk), or at least it always stuck with me. and i was one of the luckier kids who didn't NEED to know the info! and it still has stuck with me all these years later, even the examples of Kid-A and Kid-B!! like! i was on Kid-A's side of the spectrum WAY more than i was to Kid-B's side of the spectrum. my family definitely "trained the computer" in a way i got massive benefits from. like im talking i either was 100% Kid-A, 0% Kid-B or else i was a very minimal mix like maybe 93% Kid-A, 07% Kid-B levels of "minimal". yet still, whenever i find i distrust the google results on my phone, if im next to a friend, ill ask them to google the same thing i did to see if their first page of results looks better than mine and very often we DO get different search results! so!! even if i dont get how that works, that teacher was still right!

brief tangent: im convinced this is how some of my friends that are girls who do the whole "i can stalk your would-be-date like a Private Eye and find out information down to a C.I.A. level about if this person is worthy of being assumed to be trustworthy or not" benefit from this. like they themsleves have trained their phones (with their own dates and friends' dates and even co-workers/other acquantices' dates) or something to be AWESOME and THAT FAST at pulling up the results most likely to give them all of this stranger's private info. it's wild

anyway, screenshot or download the png or jpeg or whatever (or screenshot a frame from a video) to try to find the source if you think the lack of credit on the post implies i cant find it (bc it's either that or i forgot. which. "forgot" could mean "i have the source but didnt realize i didnt put it in the post" OR "i once had the source but now forgot who to credit this to and can't find them, oh no". so. good chance i likely need help even if it was an "oh, i forgot" type of mistake). you may have a better trained [whatever the tech is, if not IP, idk] than me at reverse-image-searching to find the people and/or company the item in question is originally from. who knows. go give it a try! what's the worst that could happen? lol

but yeah, when the source is obviously. like. Walt Disney Studios or like Pixar or Warner Brothers or RDJ or Nicholas Cage or whoever the fuck then like?? i didn't put credit bc they don't need the shout-out, you very well probably recognize the actor/studio/product they are in if it's something real mainstream that tou onlt know bc of pop culture osmosis, they got millions or billions of money as pocket-change, im not stressing myself out with crediting EVERYONE since crediting "everyone" doesn't affect "everyone" equally. im only worried about the people who not getting a shout-out could potentially very negatively affect (aka: the little guys). im not gonna stress about "the big guys" lol they're rich, they're easy to find, they're fine lmao

if you DO need help finding the source from "a big guy" that i posted about, just go @ me in a post and ask (or, hell, reblog the post that came from me and @ me in the said reblog. you can delete it after i answer you). i know i have Asks/Submits/Replies/etc turned off. (its bc i dont want to be accessible to everyone ever all the time lmao that feels stressful. so this One Public Avenue being the only way you could ask me means you gotta REALLY wanna know in order to get a hold of me). i do ask y'all don't do it for "a little guy" bc ill probably ignore you if i already tried to find said little guy and am ashamed that my labor was in vain (but if i do know the source for sure, like i still fully remember their info— and just simply forgot to credit said lil guy, then ill absolutely reply to you and edit the og post). know i check this blog VERY infrequently and may genuinely miss your question or answer it A LONG TIME after you @'ed me. so like. dont get mad if i take forever to reply?? or never reply? nobody wants to help someone who is entitled and gets mad at someone else for [not wanting to reply/didn't know they had something to reply to/took a long time to reply to but did reply]. mad or passive-aggressive. ive blocked people for less lol but yeah. just be polite to strangers, in general, of course, but also to strangers in predicaments like mine who have lives that take priority outside of a meme-y joke-y sideblog lol

to reiterate: feel free (but no pressure) to help if and when you can if you notice there was no credit for a lil guy on my blog pls? thanks 🫶

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏a potential controversy

i think my lines with who i decide to credit and who i dont are overall pretty clear. and i think it helps that, the way i see it, im not a hypocrite about my ideas of who to credit and who not to: bc things do get dicey when it comes to crediting people with small edits. yet i also dont insist on any credit for any of my own edits, bc i also see my edits as p fucking small. which might get SOME people mad on principle should they disagree with my overall perspective. regardless, this bit here will VERY likely be my one and only statement about it

but i do fully admit i dont quite know THE qualative line exactly? but let's establish what i mean via examples. if an account is posting a clip-compilation of "Digital Circus" and they did a "all the times Jax was sassy for 3 minutes" or something, meaning they did splice and edit this compilation together (that is one chunk of editing they did in of itself). but then they also added tiny edits, like i know its common for tiktok funny-scene-compilation-editors to have one the said simple edits just be a "🙄😒" next the character rolling their eyes (in this case, Jax). in my mind?? even tho this editor did add these kind of very minimal additions to the content at hand? and im just profiting off of the convenience of "oH YEAH, i wanted this scene clipped to use for reactions/memes! i just was putting it off bc i didnt know its time-stamp" and i use any clips, those with "🙄😒" edits and otherwise, where the most editing *i* then do afterwards is like add captions? i still see that as "the source belongs to 'Digital Circus' as there were no significant edits done to alter the material". i'm not crediting the editor that i benefited from the clip-compilation of. that's part of why i also walk what i talk in saying "if i subtitled or edited additionally to anything on this blog? you do not have to credit me. i barely did anything. i just added text, maybe with some effects done to said text to reflect volume/tone/pitch or whatever, and maybe a couple emojis/pictures were overlayed. that's nothing. i try to caption most things for accessibility. and sometimes i feel like being a goofball and i add other things ontop of it. bur nothing worthy of crediting me". bc, in the case of my edits and other people's similarly small edits? is the gag 10 times out of 10 is all still on the original content. but we start talking about an edit as in someone made an AMV?? (as in they had to splice in time to the music and maybe did other edits in addition to elevate the AMV. not as in "look, i put music behind this otherwise unedited clip" lol) or someone heavily edited this non-AMV clip of Jax to have, idk, silly meme-y circus-music ontop of having done manips of a rainbow clown wig and nose to follow his every head-motion and then ALSO did the classic DUN-meme-sound reverberation with camera-shake and black-white filter after Jax's dumbest expressions or lines?? that. that is SO MUCH editing and definitely changes the clip to where i am absolutely sourcing both "Digital Circus" and that editor. both of the AMV and circus-Jax

so, again, idk exactly where the qualitative line is. but i do have one where i refuse to fuck over people who have edited the original content to the point that now the audience is there for this person's editing skills, and not bc of the original content within the clip/s used. does that make sense?? i hope that makes sense. this is my one and only statement im gonna make about it anyway lol i think my reasoning is sound. if your content is heavily relient on the original content being as unedited as possible but you just added a few things on the "🙄😒"-level to be a goofball? keep doing what you're doing, im not going to yuck your yum (especially since i am identical to you and i also love to add a bit of razzle-dazzle lol). but im not going to credit you, the credit goes to the people who made the said original content that this "🙄😒"-and-adjacent-edits dont alter or anything. it's still like 90% the original show's clip?? come on lmao you and i can both live without the credit. feel free to take my edits and add them to your account "so i see how it feels". it's still almost entirely the original show, so ive made my peace with rarely/never getting credit for my small edits or subtitles bc like.. it's still 90% the original show??? i did basically nothing. i just had fun, have a clip i can throw into discord or a text-conversation for a tee-hee with my loved one, and have given other people permission to benefit from this side-blog's collection and possible captioning. again, come on lol the editors who actually changed the content so much with their skills that, other than that they used the original show like a collage artist benefits from magazines and whatnot, they've DEFINITELY changed more than 90% of the content to the point that their viewers are having a different experience with this editor than they would be watching the original show or its clips. come on lmao

[pokeheros-drama]

"not everyone realizes their mistakes no matter how much growth, maturity, and years in between if they're being cheered along for every bad decision they make."

i can see this but i feel like its rarer and most people do. but im not saying cheer them along. but yeah, whether or not you cheer them along i agree some people you just cant help.

sorry after reading these replies, im thinking i really worded this horribly. "it's not going to make them stop doing the wrong thing, and i thought the goal here was to help them? and if thats not ur goal, still how is it helping for you to block them?" yeah i think what came of most wrong here was the "still" and instead of "i thought" i should say "for me" 

let me reword this: it's not going to make them stop doing the wrong thing, and for me the goal here was to help them. for ur goal, how is it helping for you to block them?

mb i was really tired when i wrote that and i wrote it really aggressively and like everyone should only have a goal of helping them, but no i support other goals you guys arent inclined to help some random kid.

"at the end of the day you need learn to respect their choice and right to block ppl that they do not like."

i realized i came off wrong, hopefully what i said above fixes this. i got from reading this, that you wanted to not associate with them, and blocking them meets this goal. thats kinda what i mean to ask.

"the block button is free anon, sometimes even with advicing them against it, theyll still think their actions are right."

yeah! again the goal i got from this is not wanting to associate with someone who may think using ai to make art is okay. me personally, blocking them wouldnt do anything for me unless they're posting feeds about their ai art. i agree ai art is wrong but id still give them a chance and if i see them continue to use ai and show it off then its a block for me too.

"You must live a pretty nice life"

okay i hope what i said above fixes your thoughts that i never block people. but here's what i have to say for you: please don't make assumptions about other people's lives. usually when people say things like this, i dont feel the need to share but i will this time since its online and i hope you can learn from this. when i was 11, someone told me "my life must be perfect" because i offered to help them with something. well the night before my mom threatened my dad with a knife and honestly ive been through a lot worst since. but having someone tell me "my life must be perfect" the next morning was really the cherry on top. and i didnt even say anything, because im the kind of person who hides all my emotions and tries to forgot about them. ive got a lot of friends, but i dont think i ever really had that friend who i trusted enough to tell my real problems to. i try to act happy on the outside no matter how upset i am, so most people do assume my life is perfect irl. but its not, and everytime someone tells me this it does gets to me. everyone doesnt know what you're going through, and that's fine. but it doesnt give them the right to make assumptions. so for someone who barely knows me, except for a few things i said online, please dont make assumptions.

sorry for super long post again

[hauntedtotem]

i had such a good dream and I woke up right before I was about to kill this guy 💔

(it's ok it was deserved)

It starts out with me back in 6th grade at 11 yrs old again, but I have my adult brain and all my memories still so I'm like. "Fuck this I'm not doing schoolwork all over again/not gonna sit here and be belittled and talked down to bc everyone thinks I'm a kid" so I leave my English class, one of the teachers i didnt like starts following me because, y'know, kids can't just walk out of school- I'm taking all these extra hallways and doors that don't exist irl, telling her im an adult and trying to lose her.

Whatever, boring stuff- then I hear other teachers talking about a special field trip my class won to [redacted location] where they'll get to fly in a helicopter. And I get a final destination vision where the helicopter crashes (but everyone is fine), so I'm like. Perfect, I can take some money, go on this field trip, and escape during the commotion so I don't have to relive 6th grade.

I wasn't eligible to go but snuck on the train anyways, and the ticket guy on the train was also the operator for this helicopter thing we were doing? He asks for my ticket, I give him a crumpled up carnival ticket I found in my pocket and he's pissed, but we're already at the location so what're you gonna do, that's all I got.

Apparently because I wasn't supposed to be on this trip and no one back home knew where I was, I was reported missing and had to hide my identity. This guy was speaking outloud to our group saying if any of us are a runway then we're "selfish little bastards that deserve to suffer."

Guy was super angry about it, idk.

I sneak onto the copter, and for some reason the city was like Venice and had rivers and waterways everywhere, and one of my classmates is saying it's the river styx and freaking out about all the bodies floating down. I didn't see dead bodies, just regular people swimming around in tubes. so I was like, "dude I think that's just a lazy river". But he was adamant they were corpses/souls in anguish, (and considering the events later on in the dream his perception was probably right, but it looked normal to me?)

So, copter crashes like in the vision, I had an umbrella to shield from the shattered glass of the front window. My classmates are perfectly fine, I escape the wreckage in the commotion. I go to this other area next to the crash site with a piranha infested lake, and the angry ticket guy's stuff is there, which I throw into the lake and let it get eaten by the piranha because the guy was an asshole and yelled at me for the whole trip.

Then I swim across while the fish are distracted, there's this big marble alter on the other side. It's like a cathedral-style mausoleum or something? I hoist myself out of the lake, entering this alter.

I hear the ticket guy across the lake, pissed about his stuff being thrown in and he's talking to my coach (who was chaperoning our field trip) about how he was going to kill me, with great detail and very enthusiastically.

I can hear this all the way from inside this weird little occult place I entered, the inside is grimy and only contains this small square hole, that was a chute to somewhere. He knows I'm there, and I hear him all giddy about how he gets to throw me down the chute.

So im like, what's in the chute?? So I jump down myself, and it's like a straight drop into a body pit. It's so clogged up with the amount of corpses in there, so you don't even make it to the pit, you just get stuck in the chute and starve while being forced to lay in decomp with hundreds of rotting bodies under you, and you can't climb back out. Guy has been throwing kids down here for who knows how long.

So I'm pissed now, because this dude was going to kill what he thought was an 11 yr old child, just because I didn't pay for a train fair and threw his man-purse in a lake. And he's clearly a serial child murderer from how many bodies he had stacked in this little sacrificial pit- I assume because the location it had to be some sort of ritualistic cult thing? And maybe tied into the river styx thing going on outside idk.

Little does he know, I'm not actually a small human child, so my body contorts, limbs bending at all sorts of angles to climb out of the chute, and i hide in the rafters while he gets to the alter and walks in.

He walks in laughing, thinking he's about to kill some defenseless kid, but I'm right above him in the rafters ready to scare the shit out of him and throw his ass down the chute myself. Im sitting up there looking like an uncanny edit of the Russian Sleep Experiment animatronic, doing a worse version of the grudge crawl like:

And I am soo ready to see his reaction, and get revenge for all those victims. And then I wake up before I can even show off that I'm not human :(((

[b0mblover]

.

By: J

major tw; minor ed/ weight loss mention,

the absolute biggest tw for suicide, really just probably dont read this at all if youre suicidal, or prone to it, or uh really just not good in the slighest,

i uh, talk about in detail ways i could kill myself, really, i don’t recommend reading this unless like, you need a refrence on how highly suicidal people speak 💀

ah but srsly, probably dont read this for your own sake, im basically venting on alt, but like, not poetically in the slighest, theres only so many ways a guy can rephrase wanting to kill himself without being direct kay?

uh, probably dont worry abt this, i uh, even if i /did/ try to kms id probably survive, dont put that much faith into me

ok nvm irl i just spilled my goddamn penrice im gonna actually kms this is my breaking point (hard joke)

ugvfnd god im so sorry for writi g this and postint it, i cant do the whole keeping my feelings to myself anymore, its awful.

CHOEKS imagine this is jiro nitos suicide note or smth and critize it I DONT KNOW 😭 please laugh, im trying to hard to deflect from how awful i feel.

i urge to you turn back and not read this.

-from this point on, i am not responsible for how anyone interprets this/does because of this, you have been warned, this is the writer venting and being highly suicidal, no one is forcing you to read this. if you cannot deal with this, then dont read it, im not responsable for how others react to my writing, for your own sake. again, you have been warned-

i apologize for writing this.

words are escaping me at the moment.

ill probably be fine.

im human in the end.

something we all can agree on.

every sign points to it.

it is in the end correct.

but now,

i question if im even enough to deserve the title.

my anger is consuming me over nothing.

at the same time.

i feel so numb.

my throat feels tight.

like im going to cry.

my vision is blurry.

and yet.

as always.

i cant.

i wont.

im tired of the “sympathy” 

someone like me doesnt deserve it

i dont deserve it.

i dragged myself into this hell.

and im not getting myself out.

i said that the next time i fucked up i would kill myself.

here we are.

still- annoyingly- alive.

i dont know if ill try.

i dont feel.

scared.

to try.

pills, a noose, drowning, gunshot, razor blades, 

i know about every way to kill myself

i have about every way to kill myself

and yet

im still here.

alive.

my noose, sits beside my on the door, id have to move my chair, get a stool,

the last time i tried it didnt break,

and ive lost around 10 pounds, i know it wouldnt break, i know it would work, but as last time, it took too long, i got bored, ‘came to my senses’

the pills on the table, i know of at least three medications in them that would kill me, not to mention the combinations, but, i cant normally swallow pills well, i usually end up gagging, plus, getting your stomach pumped is really costy,

the water would be, rather easy i believe, ive only tried it once, but, after she tried to do that, i dont know if i could even force myself underwater, even to kill myself,

the gun that resides on that same table, it works, i have two bullets that fit it, no more, no less, i know it still works perfectly, granted being older than me, it probably would be my best chance, but, i - well, i cant say i remember the parts to shoot that are vital, thatll finish the job, and i really rather not waste my bullets and money on surviving,

the razor blades on my desk, everywhere, the black letters on the box reading “do it” only feels more like a calling, but, even when i try to cut deeper, i almost never can unless on accident, no matter how hard i seem to press- no matter how quickly i do it, i can never seem to get past the first layer of skin, 

i, really- really dont know what to do,

i said id attempt, i fucked up, im tired of people seeing this awful side of me, but when thats almost all you have left of what you can barely even call ‘you’. 

the only way i see my life going.

is ending.

weather the original plan,

suicide,

an accident,

i know in the end im destined to kill or get myself killed.

i truly don’t believe that ill die of anythint “natural” unless you consider jumping off a roof natural.

in a way, i want to listen to what she says,

to give up on art, become a scientist.

i know its not even possible,

its just my own sense of punishing myself, because the mental pain of knowing that i shouldve died years ago stings so much more than my arms ever will, hurting myself, barely hurts, and i know that the only person that it would hurt from- wont. 

even if i were to beg, plead, i know they wont.

its almost june.

i 

i dont really think i want to live to then,

im 

im scared that last year will repeat itself,

i dont know if its rightful,

but i want to get out of their life,

i dont want them to suffer like they did,

i dont want anyone to suffer besides myself.

and.

i believe that taking care of me.

is suffering.

therefore.

the only thing i feel i can do.

is leave.

i dont want to leave.

i want to stay with them.

but.

im horrified that ill fuck up again.

and no one needs to deal with that.

besides.

people get bored of others.

move on.

i seem to always be the only one who cant.

i know how illogical i sound.

i know that.

but to me it makes perfect sense.

its clear.

im so sorry.