#irl I am. unfortunately very short

[rockmonopoly]

Thing is I do wanna be consistently seen as masc I just feel it’s just not a very. Realistic option irl

[rubys-domain]

i really have to motivate myself to finish the thelxie event fast or it's just going to end with no freminet on my alt account

[hairtusk]

i'm curious to know your thoughts on pulling apart problematic feminist canon, it's something i don't have a lot of experience with. like dworkin is obviously famous for her writing against porn and irl harassment of sex workers but she also wrote Right Wing Women which seems to be foundational and very correct when talking about gender and the far right. i haven't heard of of her discussion of pedophilia and bestiality, but she clearly wasn't afraid of controversial topics.

you seem, for lack of better words, smart about this kind of thing and i'd love to know how you think about these tensions!

This is a very interesting question. Unfortunately, before I can even begin to get into this topic, I need to address a few key points of your above.

'... like dworkin is obviously famous for her writing against porn and irl harassment of sex workers but she also wrote Right Wing Women which seems to be foundational and very correct...'

The wording in your above is very odd to me. The 'but' here seems to insinuate that, while Dworkin's work in Right Wing Women is 'correct', she is 'wrong' for her writings against 'sex work' and pornography.

Firstly, I refuse to use the terminology of 'sex worker', as I believe it normalises the idea that men can buy access to the bodies of women. I am firmly of the belief that consent cannot be bought, and that if consent is not given freely and without coercion, it is rape. Money is coercion. If sex can be bought, then rape is just wage theft, and I refuse to be party to that idea. That being said, I have enormous compassion and respect for women who are currently, or who have formerly been, prostituted. I want them to have access to dignity, respect, safety and protection in law, as far as is physically possible.

I hold the same view of pornography. People have always enjoyed watching other people have sex - this is inescapable, and I have no problem with the sensual or the erotic. However, the erotic and the pornographic hold no relation to one another - please read this short Gloria Steinem essay for more clarity on what I mean by this [source 1]:

I firmly believe that there is absolutely no ethical or moral way to establish an industry based on pornography. It is inherently exploitative and degrading, especially to women and homosexual men. Even if there are women who freely consent to appear in pornography (and I don't believe that's possible in our current society), I believe that even if one women was exploited, trafficked, coerced or forced into it that the whole industry should be abolished. Nobody's orgasm is more important than the safety, dignity, or health of a woman. This goes for both pornography and prostitution.

So, you can see how I find it difficult to answer your question in good faith when you posit that Dworkin's work fighting pornography and prostitution are somehow 'incorrect' or wrong. Indeed, I believe one of Dworkin's best essays details the exploitation of prostitution, and how it normalises rape. See the below pages for a taste of how she tackles this subject [source 2] and find more in her book Pornography: Men Possessing Women (1981):

Another vitally important point - you say that Dworkin was famous for her 'irl harassment of sex workers.' However, Dworkin was, in your words, a 'sex worker.' See the below extract of an article by Catherine Bennett in The Observer [source 3]:

Additionally, I can find absolutely no evidence that Dworkin ever 'harrassed' prostituted women or men, and, if you've ever seen her interviewed, you would know that she is incredibly gentle and soft spoken. Please watch the below video of Dworkin appearing on After Dark, to observe her manner of debate:

It's very funny, because the amount of misinformation spread about Dworkin floating around the internet has resulted in this [source 3, ibid.]:

I would be extremely interested in whether you could provide a legitimate source for her 'harrassment', beyond her academic and political criticism of the so-called 'sex industry'.

I really do appreciate that you say I seem educated on this particular topic. And I would, absolutely in good faith, be interested in answering your main question, if you still care to hear my opinion. However, you can see why I had to clear up these topics above, to make my stance absolutely blatant before we delve into more complex feminist politik.

Bibliography:

Bennett, Catherine, 'Doubts About Dworkin', The Observer, 8th June 2000 (https://www.theguardian.com/books/2000/jun/08/society) [accessed 12th September 2024] [source 3]

Dworkin, Andrea, 'Whores', in Pornography, Men Possessing Women (New York: 1981, The Women's Press) pp. 203-204 [source 2]

Feminist VHS Archive, After Dark: What is Sex For?, Online Video Recording, YouTube, 2022 [link] [accessed 12th September 2024]

Steinem, Gloria, 'Erotica and Pornography: A Clear and Present Difference', in Take Back the Night: Women on Pornography, ed. Laura Lederer (New York: Morrow Quill Paperback, 1982) pp. 35-39 [source 1]

[londonfoginacup]

Alright y'all, come gather round, come to my corner over here. Come help strategize with me.

I'm not going to be able to afford to send out holiday cards this year. I've been hit with disaster after disaster and I've been trying very hard to figure out how to work things but the math isn't coming out in my favour no matter how I swing it. Am I devastated? Absolutely. Even though most of you get your cards in like... March... you all still send me the nicest most kind comments and I love being able to make your day brighter.

I feel like a few people are going to say I should take donations, and I might've considered that, except... I don't want to take donations only to then still fall short.

A quick summary of the math is, like, stamps are 2$ for international cards and 1.50$ for non-international. I send out about 200 cards a year which means shipping alone is about 550$, plus about 200$ for sticker sheets, 70$ for envelopes, 150$ for printing the cards, and about 200$ for the everything else of new blades and mats for cutting the dolls on my cricut, thick paper for the dolls, ink for the printer... I'm sorry guys, there's no way I could try to ask people to donate over 1000$ just for this fun little event.

So like. Truly devastated over here as I'm doing the math because I desperately desperately do not want to disappoint people. I'm not even buying irl people presents this year. It sucks. I'm feeling like a failure in a lot of ways and I hate it, because I'm over thirty now, I should be able to have my shit together. But unfortunately I just... don't. And I'm trying to make sure I can afford my cats medication and rent because my roommate has been out of a job for two months and is just straight up not paying her part of the rent.

So. I will continue to feel sorry for myself, but this isn't about that. What I want to know is what ideas do we have. I can't send people physical things, because money. But are there... other ways I could make people happy? I don't know if anyone cares about digital paper dolls, but I could just like. Put my dolls online for people to print out? And draw whatever outfits people want? Like a sort of advent calendar of doll outfits?

Help me out. Brainstorm with me. Is there some way I could make people happy that, this year, doesn't involve funds? I want to keep my 1D Holiday Queen title. Please.

[disaster-magician]

Don't mind me, just yapping and organizing my thoughts about my olnf mcs! Specifically step 1 for now, will probably do step 2 soon though bc I love writing and talking about them 😊

Nova Grace "Gracie" Woods! She currently identifies as a girl and uses She/Her. (Nova was my second requested voiced name for the ks after my irl name, so hopefully it makes it in!)

A nervous wreck about pretty much everything. Bffs with Tamarack and has a crush on Qiu, though she hasn't realized it yet! She prefers not to talk a lot and communicates mostly through ASL(she and Opal are fluent) or writing.

Very short, probably a good inch or two shorter than Tama. She is half Black on Opal's side and half Native Hawaiian from her donor. Her hair is actually dark blue and not brown like how the doll maker currently makes it look. Qiu probably thought she was exaggerating when she said she falls a lot, and very quickly finds out she was not. She's very rarely without a bandage or two at this age.

Her favorite color is teal, or really any shade of blue. She's autistic and has a special interest in space, and is usually wearing something with a design or pattern around that. She loves playing in the woods, especially with her two best neighbors 😊

Annabeth "Beck" Estrella Hyyde! She was born intersex and AFAB, and currently uses She/Her. (Annabeth was my third requested voiced name, so we'll see if that ends up in there lol)

A very outgoing and hyperactive kid, Beck loves anything to do with the outdoors or making new friends. She has a crush on Tamarack and is good friends with Qiu. It doesn't show on the doll, but she has a white streak in the front of her hair from her vitiligo. (She's the one holding Tama in my profile pic!)

She is Afro-Latina with Dominican roots. She was born in the US but moved to and around South America as a baby and young kid before Opal's job took them back to the states when she was 8. Spanish is her first language and English is her second.

She currently has undiagnosed ADHD and dyslexia and struggles in school even though she always tries her best. I feel like Mrs. Murray would be the type to recognize effort and desire to learn, plus she's still in elementary so her grades wouldn't be bad. In later steps this is not necessarily the case unfortunately.

Although she loves all sports, soccer is the coolest and her most favorite. She can juggle it 40 times in a row without dropping it, just watch! Her favorite color is rainbow, or maybe cranberry like her and her Mamá's hair.

Elijah "Eli" Othello Anderson. He currently identifies as a boy and uses He/Him. He's Black and doesn't know(aka I haven't decided) much about his heritage. I am on the fence about his current hair color and might change or tweak it a bit.

One of the most laid back and breezy kids you'll ever meet. He just wants to have fun and make new friends! He's got a pun or other terrible joke ready at any given moment so watch out.

He does have a bad habit of putting others before himself, much to the disappointment of his Mama. Is it really such a bad thing that he wants to make other people happy?

He finds something of a kindred soul in Qiu in that way. They just get each other in a way most other kids don't. They're clearly destined to be best friends, or maybe even more. He has a soft spot for Tam too, hopefully they'll all be good friends forever.

Cassiopeia "Cassie" Lotus Aoki-Jones. She identifies as a girl and has since she was six and currently uses She/Her. Her mom has Egyptian heritage and her donor was half Japanese.

More than anything, Cassie is mad. She doesn't want to move away from her old friends and life, especially to a place surrounded by dirty and icky woods. Why couldn't she and her annoying Mom just stay where they were?

No one else here even knows about roller skating, or butterflies, or anything cool. Sigh, at least there's a ballet class where she can show off her skills.

Most things here are pretty bad, but the two neighbors her age are pretty okay. Both of them are nice and sweet and pretty... what was she saying again?

[bunbitti]

rules and stuff

I take ~3 requests at a time, also don't rush me pls

Taken: 0/3

Fandoms I know/might write for (may be updated later when I think of more):

Honkai Star Rail

Zenless Zone Zero

Return of the Blossoming Blade/Return of the Mount Hua Sect

Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint

The World After the Fall

Detroit: Become Human

Maybe other manhwas/series if I've read them (you can try asking if it's not on the list, I can and will write for side characters if I'm attached to them enough lmao)

Fandoms that are a maybe:

Jujutsu Kaisen

The Avengers

Naruto

Attack on Titan

Haikyuu!!

Harry Potter

Undertale/Deltarune

Fandoms I don't write for (this means I either definitely have not read or interacted with the series or don't see myself writing for it much/at all, so that you don't waste your time asking)

Miraculous Ladybug

Boruto

Percy Jackson

Disney, Pixar, etc. movies and stuff?? I didn't have a childhood if you couldn't tell already, and I also don't really watch movies

other sports animes (I'm sorry I just never watched them and I wouldn't have the time to start)

Characters I can do (predominantly male, I can't guarantee any quality for female characters):

HSR - Gepard, Sampo, Dr. Ratio, Aventurine, Boothill, Sunday, Jiaoqiu, Moze, MAYBE Jing Yuan, Argenti, Luocha, Dan Heng, Welt, etc.

ZZZ - Wise, Anton, Billy Kid, Lycaon, Seth

ROTBB - Lee Songbaek/Isongbaek/이소백 (x reader-only for him, no ships; there's not enough x-reader and plenty of ship fics for him already), MAYBE main characters/anyone else

ORV - most people, just not x-reader beyond platonic because I can't really see it

TWAF - Carlton/Karlton, maybe others

DBH - Connor, RK900, Hank, Gavin, others maybe

Topics I can do:

sfw, fluff, headcanons, etc.

nsfw (I might not be so good at the explicit stuff, but we can try)

AUs - soulmate, college/modern, royalty, etc.

depression/similar topics (only because I'm likely depressed)

character x reader, if I like that character enough and/or could see them in a relationship with the reader; platonic and romantic both allowed

some ships, only if I'm confident I can pull it off

Topics I won't do:

dubcon/noncon/toxic/abusive stuff (especially between shipped characters or in x-reader relationships) beyond what is already in character, I've had enough of that abusive stuff irl, I don't need it in my writing (having it in a backstory is ok as long as we're doing recovery/healing from it or something)

gore? idk

pedo/zoo/etc.

nsfw if the character(s) is/are minor(s), regardless of if they're shipped with another minor

mental illnesses/other conditions that I'm not familiar with and wouldn't be confident in getting accurate

aging up characters (unless we're talking about canonical versions that exist, like post-timeskip in Haikyuu where characters have jobs and/or are in uni)

whatever I'm not comfortable with

x reader:

unless otherwise requested or stated, will be gender neutral

if it's important to you, you can specify details about the reader (height, size, other physical characteristics, backstory, etc.), otherwise unfortunately I am not a mind reader

likely in 2nd or 3rd person, very unlikely to be 1st person

General:

the more specific you are in the request, the better (sometimes I worry about not getting things how people were thinking of it in their heads lmao)

will probably be short-ish (see the lengths of existing fics) unless by some miracle I have more inspiration

I may be inconsistent af, haha

Don't request nsfw if you're a minor, and don't interact with my nsfw content if you're a minor

Uhh yeah, this should be it, I'll update it when rules change

[mrszeoxin]

Cupid Parasite Sweet and Spicy Darling Review

This is the first time I’m playing a game as soon as it comes out! I’m super excited since I just finished the original game this week. I love fandiscs since I love fluff. This does have a new character though, so I’m curious to see what that’s like, but definitely more excited for the main guys.

Merenice

I decided to start with the new guy to get him out of the way. I typically don’t like new routes in these fandiscs, but I’m willing to give it a shot. From what I’ve read he can see people’s future, which is very cool. But kind of like Edward from Twilight, MC is the only person whose future he can’t see, which grabs his attention. I’m hoping this route will be fun.

Honestly I wanted to like this route, and I tried to have an open mind, but I couldn’t get into it. I just don’t like it when they introduce new characters you can romance that weren’t in the original game, and it just felt so rushed and out of place. HOWEVER, this gave us the closest we’ll ever get to an Owen route, and I’m through the roof with joy. The Owen Ending was so good, I love Owen 😭, it’s a crime they didn’t give him a full route in the original game or this one.

Gill

I decided to play the original guys in case order, so that means we start with Gill. Which works for me because I actually liked Gill in the original game (although I now know that not everyone shares my sentiment). Right away, I already noticed the music in this route is much better than the first one I did, which is kind of a relief. When I was playing Merenice’s route I thought the music was way worse than the first game, which made me depressed, but I’m starting to think maybe it was just a his route thing.

I love Gill. No surprise, I really enjoyed his route in this game too. I love how crazy he is, like the things he builds is so nerdy, and sweet, and insane, it’s just so great. I also got some good laughs from his route. Being in an Agape-Agape relationship irl, I really loved when they talked about how self-sacrificing love isn’t the same as straining/suffering for your love, rather it’s being willing to give up certain things mutually and it’s satisfying to love each other like that.

I did play all three endings since I wasn’t sure what to expect. But Sweet and Spicy = Best Ending, Sweet = Normal Ending, and Spicy = Bad Ending, based on what I saw. So I probably won’t do anymore Spicy Endings, as I tend to not like bad endings, but Gill’s Spicy End was very similar to the vibes from that popular Jumin Bad Ending and DLC.

I also really loved his short stories! I love getting to see the male lead’s perspective and thoughts in otome games and books. So it was super fun to get into Gill’s head again and see more of his past.

Shelby

Next up is Case 2, Mr. Shelby Snail himself. Unfortunately he was my least favorite in the original game, so I can’t say I’m super excited. But honestly, I still think his will be cute since at least they are already married. I just need him to not act like a wimp like last game lol.

Okay, this was actually surprisingly fun. As someone who Shelby is my least favorite love interest, I still had such a blast playing his route. It had so many funny scenes, and was just overall so fun to play. I love how real yet hilarious many of the situations in this route were. Like they had a fight, they had doubts, they had *cough* problems in the bedroom *cough*, and it was so funny and entertaining to play. I am a little bummed we didn’t get a SS Cupid joke, since new Cupid’s initials are also SS, but overall super fun to play. I’m pleasantly surprised!

Raul

Next up is Raul! I’m excited since I liked his original route a lot, and he’s about tied with Gill as far as me loving the character. I’m excited to see what we have in his route, I’m sure it’ll be extra fun since we have the whole him being a celebrity trope, plus he knows she’s Cupid. So I’m sure this will be super fun!

Oh my gosh I love Raul so much 😭💕. Raul and MC are just so cute together, and I love their dynamic so much. This route was just so fun. It had so many moments that had me laughing so hard, and others that had me tearing up because it was so sweet. Raul is so wholesome and sweet, which is so counter to the trope he plays. But I love him and his himbo golden retriever energy. I also think the plot for this one was so ridiculous and fun to play. Plus I love his reaction to meeting her dad. Everything was just so sweet.

Ryuki

Let’s go! It’s my favorite from the first game, I love Ryuki and his route so much 🥹💕. I’m so excited to get to play his route in the Fandisc! I hope we get to see him get all flustered again, but I also would love to see him be a little jealous again😅. He’s so cute, and I’m sure I’m going to love this route!

Ryuki is so cute, I can’t 😭💕. As I suspected I loved this route, Ryuki was just as cute as usual, and him and MC have such a cute and authentic “young love” vibe. It’s just so cute and sweet, it was so fun to play! Also when he dyed his hair back to its natural color, that really got to me, I can’t explain why but it got to me. He’s so amazing! Don’t even get me started on his bonus episodes 😭 ahhh I love him so much!!!

Allan

Unfortunately, I’m not super excited for this route. Given I didn’t like Allan that much in the original, I have a feeling I probably won’t love this route. However, I did enjoy Shelby’s in this game, so maybe if this route is funny I can at least enjoy that. I’d also enjoy if they gave MC a bigger change in appearance given she’s a demon now, because the original kinda felt like a cop-out, but I guess we’ll see.

So, I don’t like being a hater, especially since I know Allan is popular, so I’ll try to keep it short. I did not like this route at all. It was not enjoyable for me, I couldn’t get into it and it felt like it was dragging on forever. I just didn’t have any fun, the time skip makes it so we can’t see any of the characters we know in the game which is a bummer, and honestly them living forever just triggered my existential dread of dying. I’m glad she finally looked like a demon at some point, but honestly I just couldn’t get into it. If you like angsty stuff and love Allan you’d probably like it, but I just don’t. The Orpheus and Eurydice parallel also made me upset as someone who loves that myth, because Orpheus turns around BECAUSE his love is so strong, so I didn’t like the implication that somehow Allan’s love is so strong he wouldn’t turn around. Like that’s not the flex the writers think it is, I also didn’t like that Satan plot. They also did my boy Robin dirty in this route. I don’t know, maybe I’m alone here, but this just wasn’t it for me.

Peter

Last route! Let’s go! I’m excited for Peter’s route, he was my second favorite in the original game and so I think I’ll probably enjoy this route. I think it’ll be fun to get to see more of them being Jupiter and Juno, plus Peter is such a cutie I’m sure it’ll be good.

This was a good route! I didn’t love some of the later plot, but I love Peter and so it was enjoyable. He’s so sweet and I love his relationship with MC, it’s such a unique dynamic. I thought it was really enjoyable and fits well as a last route to play for the game.

Overall

I think I really enjoyed this fandisc for the most part. I liked pretty much all the routes, with two making me genuinely laugh a ton. A lot of the CGs were really good too, and it’s fun to see a more domestic life for the couples. However I didn’t like the music as much as the first game, it wasn’t bad, but the first game had such iconic songs that really captured each character and moment. I don’t feel like the music this game felt as special, and there was this sound and song that played that would get on my nerves so bad. But even with the music, I still think the game was super fun. I also loved Robin and his character a bunch. For some reason he reminded me of Yamato from My Forged Wedding, which is my first otome husband, so that made me like Robin even more. Honestly kind of wish we got a Robin or Owen route instead of Merenice. I think if you liked the first game and its humor you’ll probably love this game.

It was really fun getting to play a game when it released, and I’m glad I could post this but too long after. As of now I only played the Sweet and Spicy endings, if I go back and play the other endings later I’ll post an update! Next review will probably be a while until I post it since I’m going to be pretty busy soon.

But I’d love to hear your thoughts on this game if you’ve played it yet.

[heyyallitsbeth]

Check Yes, Rat

On the 76th floor of Aincrad, a brigade of crusaders sat in the newly established bar of Agil. The party seemed to grow larger over time, now that the engine of Sword Art Online was unstable, bringing in unsuspecting hostages from other games, as well as trapping unfortunate souls within the backrooms of the code, the Hollow Area. Luckily, a raven haired boy had been there to catch the strays from Alfheim, GunGale and the Hollow Area, Leafa, Sinon and Philia. But even with a party growing ever larger, their leads on where to go from here were drying up. Assuming there even was somewhere to go from here, now that the game’s creator, Akihiko Kayaba had been killed. 

The black swordsman fidgeted in his seat before pulling up a message prompt.

“Look’s like we’re out of options. Last resort.”

The party looked on inquisitively as he effortlessly flicked out a message to the one person he trusted the most, but hadn’t spoken to in months.

“Kirito? Who are you messaging?” Asuna leaned against her partner.

“Oh, just our old mutual friend… With her skill and… Persistence... she’s probably already on the 76th floor.”

The rest of the party stiffened at the word “her”. While no words were spoken, the thought of another girl in their group caused a momentary flare of jealousy lost on the boy, who was struggling with his words.

“We’ve spoken after the beta but… Not since Asuna and I were married. God this will be awkward.” Kirito shuddered at the thought, a chill down his spine.

“Ah Kii-boy, lookin for me huh?”

A shadow of beige and blonde fell behind Kirito who jumped from his seat. The rest of the party glared daggers at him “Kii-boy?”

“Je-jeez…” Kirito clutched his chest and smirked “Agil didn’t tell me this bar had a rat problem…” He absentmindedly tussled the blonde hair of the short cloaked figure standing beside the group. 

“Heheh. Just missin’ ya Kii-boy. And I knew the best place ta look was anywhere that had the most pretty gals hangin’ about.” Her gaze drifted to the table of friends “Looks like I was spot on huh?”

“Well, your info is always spot on aint it?”

The group expected Kirito to emit a flustered response, as he did with every other girl’s teasing. But was met with a confidence ill-fitting the boy.

“Umm Kazuto who is this?” Leafa spoke up, asking the question everyone was too afraid to ask.

“Ah Kii-boy, you never told your galpals about your best friend? I’m hurt.” The rat’s tone shifted at ‘best friend’ with seductive, teasing tone that was picked up by everyone at the table.

“Heh. I know you well enough that if I shared any info about ya you’d make me pay.” Kirito giggled, a foreign sight to the party, as it seemed that only his daughter Yui could make him laugh.

“Aw, after all this time still considerin’ the feelin’s of lil ol me?”

“Nope, just your business.”

“Nyehehe. Well, I’ll give yall this info for free. I’m Argo.” The cloaked girl extended her hand to Leafa. 

“Or you can call her a Rat, right Asuna?” Kirito looked at Asuna, who was trying to stifle a laugh at the rest of the group.

“Yeah. This is our good rat Argo. She’s an info broker, and has been playing with Kirito since the beta.”

Leafa took the girl’s hand and briskly shook it. “Nice to meet you. I’m Kirito’s sister.”

The Rat looked taken aback for a moment, then snickered. “Ah Sugu! I’m surprised ya don’t remember me! Guess Kii-boy is the same IRL as in here, I must’ve just been another pretty gal he took home. Nyehehehe.”

“Aaaaaaaaaand I am gonna get a very, very, VERY stern talking to tonight. By a lot of people.” Kirito thought to himself.

“What? Kazuto never brought anyone home! Did you come in through a window or something?” Leafa was startled at the thought. “Another girl with Kazuto? In our home? And he was HIDING her?”

“Nyehehe. If you want any more info on me and Kii-boy you’ll need to buy it.” She pulled out her menu, and tapped a few submenus, one labelled ‘All Info On Kii-boy’. The girl’s looked on in horror as Argo scrolled through pages upon pages of info, all locked behind various Cor amounts. One even hit the cap, at absolute max Cor.

“Y’know, now that Sugu is here, I should offer a bit more to those bounties. Don’t need her to have that much ammo on me.” He lightly teased, but shot Argo a quick cash-injection.

“Aw Kii-boy, you really that scared about a lil, tiny, itty bitty secret like that?” She smirked knowingly.

“Oooooo Kirito and somethin ‘lil tiny itty bitty’? Color me curious~ Always suspected those two swords were compensatin’ for somethin~” Liz was laughing, she wouldn’t say it, but her mind travelled to places she would NEVER willingly admit.

“No, it aint that. ‘Sides, if you want that info so bad, you could just ask Asuna or Sugu for cheaper.”

“S-sugu?!?!?!” Philia slammed her drink down on the table, shaking the whole table.

“Yeah… Hate to say it, but that wouldn’t exactly be his ‘little’ secret” Leafa blushed, trying to look anywhere but the table.

“Gross.” Sinon shook her head and rested it on a fist. “This guy even hittin on his own sister? Shouldn’t be surprised…”

Kirito laughed to himself.

“Yea. Leafa here’s a real perv. Had to get a lock on our bathroom door cuz she kept peekin’ in on me showering.”

“K-KAZUTO!” The poor sylph went a crimson red.

“Nyeheheh. This is gold, pure gold.”

“Jeez Kirito. Sayin’ stuff like that when your wife’s in the room.” Liz teased at the boy.

Both Argo and Asuna moved to speak but were cut off by Kirito.

“You’re one to talk Liz, after you and Philia took me to a hot spring just to try and get a peek too.”

The pair of girls flushed as Asuna, Argo and Kirito all laughed.

“Jeez Kii-boy, you got busy with me out of pitcha. Any girls here who didn’t have their virgin eyes tainted by ya?”

Sinon and Silica went from pale to a light pink blush. Sinon played with her fingers, and Silica grabbed onto Pina for support.

“Nyehehehe. No wonder ya wanna keep that info a secret Kii-boy.”

Argo finally took a moment to pull up a chair to the table, right next to Kirito and Asuna, resting her head against the former.

“Yeah. Don’t want the mob against ya.” Kirito flicked the forehead of the rat.

“Ah our poor beata’. Always the lightnin rod of hate.” 

“Um. I’m sorry but could you tell us who Kirito is to you Miss Argo?” Silica pouted in her seat. “She’s so bold… Only Asuna is ever that touchy with Kirito…”

“Oh I’m just ya friendly neighbahood rat. Unless ya got the Cor to spend~” She rubbed her thumb against her index and middle finger, telling them silently ‘pay up’.

“Good thing Leafa is so oblivious, otherwise it wouldn’t be much of a secret.” Asuna laughed out.

“Oh I’m great at hidin’, dontcha worry your pretty lil head A-chan”

“Wait. With all of us here, we could probably pool enough Cor to buy the info.” Sinon spoke up with a taunting smile.

Both Argo and Kirito gulped, Argo’s facade of confidence quickly deteriorated as the girls began counting cor together.

“Waitwaitwait-”

“Suppose we brought this on ourselves.” Kirito shook his head. “I am gonna get killed tonight.”

…

“So firstly, how exactly do you know Kirito?” Silica frowned out. 

“I may be a rat, but I don’t lie. Kii-boy and I met in SAO’s beta days, and partied together to test some features.”

“That’s a shock. Kirito always hated getting involved in guilds and parties.” Liz looked upset at the idea of Kirito and this girl hanging out like that.

“Argo basically forced me into it.”

“Nyeheheh. You never complained, did ya?”

“Oh I did constantly, you just ignored me.”

“Anyways, that’s why I had ta visit him IRL. Gotta make sure alllllll~ the sensations in SAO matched outside.” She playfully teased out at the girls.

“Um. Kirito what exactly were you and Argo testing?” Philia slumped down with her head resting against the table, utterly defeated.

“Oh Kii-boy is wonderful~ he was so kind to do everything~ I asked of him.”

Kirito sighed, knowing Argo would simply make things worse from here.

“Argo and I were the only pair of guy and girl beta testers who remotely liked eachother’s presence. So we got a bit of a direct order from the top to test a few things.” 

Kirito lifted up his hand to the party, revealing his shining silver wedding band.

“Argo and I were asked to test the wedding feature, and all of the benefits.”

The air in the room was frozen. The tense atmosphere could be cut with a knife. But it was cut short by the snort and stifled laugh of Asuna.

“Heh. Dorks.”

“Asuna?! Aren’t you upset at this homewrecker!” Liz shouted out at her friend.

“Please. If anything it’s the other way around.” Asuna smiled softly and wrapped her fingers in an embrace with Kirito’s.

“If anything, I think Asuna might just like to watch.” Sinon muttered bluntly.

“Nyeheheh. We could give her a good show Sinonon~”

“Wait so when you say you had to test all the sensations-” Leafa’s eyes got wide

“Nyehehehehehe. There’s a reason Kii-boy gotcha those noise-cancellin’ headphones Sugu.” 

Leafa buried her head in her hands in embarrassment.

“Wait so you and Kirito?...” Liz’s voice was weak and trailed off.

“Yuh huh! The whole nine yards! Kii-boy really knows how to treat a lady~, right A-chan?”

Asuna blushed at the Rat’s question.

“Jeez… I would’ve liked to think I’d recognize when Kazuto brought a girl home…” Leafa sulked.

“So Kirito’s first time wasn’t with Asuna?” Silica was practically hyperventilating.

The boy and the rat shared a laugh as Kirito stroked the hair of the small beast tamer.

“Eh, there’s some stuff only A-chan can provide of course.” Argo pressed her index fingers against eachother.

“Don’t feel bad about not realizing I brought home Argo, Sugu. Not like she goes by that name IRL.” The boy smirked and looked down at Argo.

“Oh playin with fire Kii-boy? You know you’ll get burned.”

“After this conversation, I’m gonna get killed anyways. Might as well have some fun with it.”

“Nyehehe. I suppose that’s fair. But yea, chin up Leafa. You probably wouldntve noticed lil ol me. I’m sure im not the only ~boyfriend~ Kii-boy brought home” The rat laughed and Kirito blushed.

“B-BOYFRIEND???” The table blurted out.

“Wait Argo does that mean you’re a guy? And Kirito is-” Silica looked at Kirito, eyes widening.

Sinon’s head filled with a word that’d get her banned from various public forums, even if she could reclaim it.

“Guy? No. Bisexual? Yes.” Argo answered bluntly.

“This funky rat is transgender. But she’s as much of a girl as any of yall. And if I hear anything against it…” He lightly tapped his a sword on his back.

“Oh. Huh. Neat. Me too actually.” Sinon chirped, pleasantly surprised. “And now that I know Kirito likes girls like me…”

“Wait wait wait I feel like we’re glossing over the whole ‘Kirito has two wives’ bit.” Philia butted in. “I feel like that is important to address.”

“We’re stuck in a death game and you’re worried about the ethics of polyamory?” Asuna coldly responded. “With how much you all flirt with my husband I’d assumed you were fine with it.”

The table turned to bickering and gossiping as Kirito and Argo slinked away.

“Well that went better than expected.” Argo let out a breath she didn’t even realize she’d been holding.

“Yeah. I’m just glad they didn’t ask who was the top.”

Kirito and Argo laughed to themselves before discussing plans for clearing the future floors. Now the group had gotten larger yet again. But something struck itself in Kirito’s head.

“Hmm both Argo and Sinon huh… I wonder if I’m…” the thought cut itself short, and they shook their head “heh. We can worry about that silly thought later.”

[starflungwaddledee]

hello!! its me!! in your inbox again!! Ive gotta know: what kind of thought went into Starstucks design? do you have any beta designs, early sketches, or has she always been so cute?!

HELLOOoooooo yesssss quality asks from moonie!!!! i am always so excited!!! i'll pop this under a cut because it got long, but the short answer is: sadly i'm boring and predictable 😂

i am SO embarrassed to tell you that very little thought went into her design, at least on any sort of... cerebral level. the reason for this is because she is my sona, though she does now have a story of her own, and i personally have an extremely rigid set of personal iconography! both irl and online

i joked with my gf and some friends who know me beyond kirby that if you knew me outside of here you would spot me a mile off because my aesthetics for sonas or personal representation have been rock-solid consistent for almost a decade!

i'm always pink and cream and ice blue, always have star themes, always have grey-blue/pink eyes, always have freckles (often white constellations) over big pink cockatiel cheeks, and always have huge bows 😂 also often i have flower crowns but she avoided this by being All Head. i did accessorise her festive outfit though!

so really... she couldn't have looked much different to how she does. i did add the stars on the bottom of her feet (hidden stars are a typical design choice for me tho) and the heart shaped face marking after drawing her a few times on the blog! i just thought the heart shaped marking added a little interest at the time, especially above the eyes; maybe because i was used to drawing bandee who's bandana covers that top edge of his face marking!

now that some time has passed, of course parts of her design tie into her lore in fun ways ("oh she has stars on her feet!" "what makes the constellations on her cheeks move!" "wow her bow looks a bit like wi-!!"), but that was entirely unexpected when i designed her. i never intended to develop her as much as she has been because the interest from others was frankly so unexpected; but i'm having a total blast doing it!

i also chose a waddle dee rather than any of the other aliens on offer because i personally tend to just... feel pretty average! not impressive or significant enough to be a knight or a puffball or anything like that! waddle dees resonate with me, they're just easily spooked little critters with zero defensive mechanisms doing their best and i can relate to that

though i suppose that it's now rather clear that starstruck is not an average waddle dee, if one at all.. so i guess time will tell

sorry if this is a bit of a let down 😅 the unfortunate answer is that she's based on Me and how i look/feel/dress/etc irl. my hair is that shade of pink. i have an exceptionally comprehensive collection of flower crowns and comedically oversized bows. i am very small and very round. i do have intensive freckles in constellation patterns. sadly, alas, my eyes are only grey-blue. so there was only ever so many variations she'd be able to draw on from my rigid set of aesthetics haha!

[akunari]

˜”*°• Signs I am an Angel Dust kin •°*”˜

I'm writing down the similarities with my kins. This post is about my Angel Dust identity, so I advise you to read the wiki to understand better.

It can be different for anyone. It doesn't mean you are less or more Angel Dust than I am, okay? I made this to help people who are kinsidering but also to help me. Because you'll see, I have some behaviors or thoughts that are very toxic that I want to get rid of.

I made a list to be less triggering as possible. If you know Hazbin Hotel, you can already know what kind of things you can find on my list.

Anyway, good reading~

(Sorry for the mistakes, English isn't my native language~)

basic things to start with

green eyes, name starting with 'a', european, the date of birth is the 1st of the month…

ITALIAN FOOD!!!

huge fan of pastas (lasagna, ravioli, carbonara…)

prefer fruits over candies

i like cooking

i like to suck...

POPSICLES!

gay femboy~

actually, achillean, but it's still gay

feminine curves (I'm transmasc, I'm a damn curvy man~)

long nails, ALWAYS

fishnets and high boots~

prefer shorts over skirts

feminine body language and mannerisms I just slay~

animal lover!!!

pet owner of two baby kitties~ i would give my life for them

cats, pigs, and cows as pets ♡

i hate moths, too scary

my personality is rather...particular?

arrogant when i dislike you, a tease when i like you

sassy and sarcastic

confident on the outside...

but insecure on the inside.

a sister who is like a bestie~

let's talk about traumas now!

family trauma!

overly sexualized since my childhood, yeah

but i like looking sexy tho

i hate my dad

alcoholic dad and alcoholic family

but my mom's side is neat, so it's fine

if my mom wasn't a sweetie, i would have become like my dad-

my dad makes drugs~

he learned me how to do so

but nope, i won't do that

SA traumas~

love/hate relationship with abuser

it was my step dad, he was a father to me

he is out of my life now, tho

unfortunately, when you have a feminine body, sexual harassment never stops-

PTSD, depression, anxiety because why not

convince people only want to abuse me if they come talking to me trauma related

want a solid relationship built on respect, with someone who values me and wants to be with me…

but don't believe it's possible

because i'm just an object for men, right?

also, a good culture in sex subject without really knowing why

even if i'm aroace, i enjoy the idea of bdsm for some reasons

when i dream, if i encounter an abuser, i give them my body almost immediately

i prefer choosing to give it to them rather than being forced to

toxic, but i know i would do the same irl

i don't watch porn

~~inferiority and superiority complex~~

don't like being seen as vulnerable so…

masking at all cost!!!

"i'm doing just fine, darling." nope

i can handle myself.

but can someone help me..?

self desctuctive

negative self-talk and neglective of myself mostly

i get addicted too easily

to people AND things...

subscribed to toxic people, in friendship mostly

have a few friends i would give my life for

so protective, loyal and caring for them

i prefer being hurt than seeing them hurt

fear of abandonment

often feel like i don't worth people affection

i'm too messy

but i want to be better

overall, a loser baby traumatized boy

That's all I was thinking about! I'm not very proud of being this way, but I can't deny it. I didn't want to have Angel as a kin for a lot of those reasons and also because since I kinfirmed him, flashbacks and memories (from both my current life and kin life) are more recurrent.

I will do the same with my other kins but I wanted to start with my highest kin.

[notmyprey]

Hi! Just thought I'd make a post going over a few things:

First things first! This is very much a (SFW) vore (for lack of remembering what the other descriptor is) account. If ya dont like- dont follow, lol.

I am a strictly SFW blog, meaning I dont, won't, and haven't posted anything NSFW. I sometimes post digestion, but it's ALWAYS with reformation or NON FATAL.

I normally draw g/t vore, but I will draw the occasional same/similar/half/quarter vore drawing.

I love asks, so long as they are SFW.

If you want to ask my OC's questions, go to my other blog here, which is just for that!

I only have a few DNI's:

Main DNI:

Pedos (of any name), zoophiles, harassment/callout blogs, homo/transphobic, racist (this includes towards asians and Middle easterns too, I aint tolerating any of that hateful shit)

For personal reasons, please either DNI or do not talk to me about:

Drugs (excluding medical ones), s3xual stuff (s3x repulsed ace here), and pr3gnancy (this is borderline phobia for me, ok? Maybe even worse than that)

If you have uncontrolled temperamental issues, please keep your distance or try not to become too close of friends with me (I have trauma related to this, and I am still recovering).

More info under cut:

These are the fandoms I know! Please try not to spam my ask box with fandoms that I dont know! An ask here and there abt one I dont know is ok, but not constantly please!

My Sona's:

This is my voresona!

This is my persona! (Who can also be used in vore lol)

Do I Role Play?

Short answer: no

Long answer: kind of? I do often use RP like language (such as the use of ** and refering to myself as my online persona, who is still technically me but in a universe where vore exists). But I dont like to directly RP with people in dm or anything else for the most part. There are few exceptions, but those who know, know.

I never thought I would have to add this, but please dont drag me into any drama or personal situations that don't involve me. I made this blog for me to have a place away from real life, not to have to stress over.

Repeating this again: One boundary I would like to put up is to try and keep drug mentions to as minimal as possible (outside of obv medications and stuff). I dont hate anyone who does do drugs, but it does make me very uncomfortable. I wish I could explain why, but unfortunately, I can not since I myself dont even know why.

NSFW and KINK blogs PLEASE READ:

NSFW:

I dont mind nsfw blogs following me or liking my posts, but please dont interact outside of that. Sometimes, I may block nsfw accounts out of the blue, but its normally because they either dont censor things or I see them too much on my tags that im following.

KINK:

I dont mind if kink blogs follow me or like my posts. You can reblog my posts. Just make sure that if you end up rebloging my posts, dont add tags that are related to a kink. I may block kink accounts out of the blue, but its normally because I see them too much on my tags that im following, and its something Im uncomfortable with seeing that often.

For BOTH NSWF and KINK blogs!! If you are an irl edit blog (aka you take real pictures and edit them), if I dont see you, you're fine. But as soon as I see any of that anywhere, whether it's going through who liked/rebloged my post or ending up on my fyp, I will block no hesitation. Irl photo edits make me extremely uncomfortable, and this is one of the few big boundaries I have and will not hesitate to enforce.

Other than that- dont be an asshole and were chill.

Master Lists:

Writing Master List

Prompts Master List

Rants Master List

Characters Master List

On going ask/rb games:

'Reblog or send an ask, and I'll tell ya what you/a character of your choice would taste like' post

Ask game! (Aka send me emojis to answer questions)

[spooky-momth]

welcome to my enclosure I have many thoughts and doodles abt lila (shipping mostly)

[ID in ALT!]

hc dump under cut (it gets LONGG lol)

General:

anthro au specific but since my Skid & Lila are both cats, some nights they'll just sit in total darkness (bc cats can see in the dark). it is great and enriching for both of them.

adding onto that, ever since Pump started coming over they added some glow in the dark star stickers along the walls to help him find his way around :)

Lila is transfem to me . I don't need proof or elaboration this is just something I know in my heart /lh

she probably started transitioning pretty young, which is something she feels lucky for. her parents were supportive ^_^ !!

that being said, her parents were rather protective, and she didn't get out too much as a youngin.

-- that is why she was so lax with Skid going outside. she was kind of overcorrecting for that.

She was probably deep into alt fashion in college (elaborated on later)

Shipping Opinions:

I am just some guy on the internet, if you like a ship I don't, that's great and I love that for you! Live your life.

Goldenlavender (x Jaune): gestures at url. I think it is funny. also.

I feel like they've quietly been pining for a very long time now, but they've both been friends for so long and don't want things to change.

there's something quiet and unstated, but definitely there between them. they don't kiss or anything, but they hold each other really close and aren't too shy about being affectionate. you know?

women who are best friends.

also ross would finally have a parent who can pass off as a natural reason why he has black hair. he is beating the hair dye allegations!!!!!!

Grapecandy (x Kevin): I'll be honest right now. I keep thinking Kevin's, like, 17.

He isn't, I think. But I literally didn't even think of him as being a suitable option for her for a while LMAO

I think I can sum up all of the wagegang x Lila thoughts here: It just doesn't compel me, unfortunately. I don't see their potential dynamic as being particularly funny, or spawning interesting drama. Shrugs. Sorry!

specifically w Kevin though I think they would break up as soon as Skid is brought up LMAO. like he doesn't hate the kid but he isn't ready to be a stepfather imo.

(x Bob): Do they have a ship name? Anyw the age gap isn't my main issue with it. Lila's in her late 20s at the youngest, and they're both adults. I don't think anyone means tiny witch Lila when they bring this ship up anyways

nor is the stalking or attempted murder. I had a creepypasta phase, these behaviors are obviously Very Bad irl but they can be interesting to see in fiction. morbid curiosity and whatever.

My main issue is that their potential relationship is so much more interesting if it isn't romantic, you know? Like, how do they know each other? What was he to her? Why did she react so strongly to seeing him in her past? She seems eager to try to reject the idea that the man in the photo is him, but why? Was he important to her? Did she care about him?

TL;DR: I want more fics abt these two's relationship, but specifically non-romantically.

Deadflowers (x Patty): Not sure about this ship name. I don't see this one often. Anyw, I don't actually have any thoughts on Patty, so this is going to be super short.

I think they might have a nice time together on a date, but I don't think it could be anything serious.

Though, if they did.. overworked x overworked means they'll have to take care of the other, even tho it'll mean they call each other hypocrites for working so much all the time.

I could see it as a background/dressing ship, but not really as the focus of anything. sorry girls

Poisonwine (x Skid's Dad): I want to know more from onscreen canon first!!! But I think they could be super interesting!!!

The tweet that implies that he didn't care bout Lila is. hROUUUGH (<- thang whose heart is breaking). He didn't care, but did she know that? Did she care? I feel like she did..

There's no way Lila doesn't know about the cult. I'm a believer that she was a part of it herself until he died (the robes, "Remember Lila") ...Did she join because of her own beliefs, or because her husband was in it? Did he have to coerce her at all?

I think he was a good dad to Skid.

You may notice this is a lot of me dancing around what I actually think they're like. That's because I don't want to really solidify any specific readings of what's going on here. I am embracing the future with open arms!!

they're t4t tho this is non-negotiable /silly

RoyalPurple (x Carmen): this was supposed to have its' own section but now I'm making a fic with them so just. wait a minute there HAHAHA /silly

(& Streber): this is a Specifically platonic headcanon but I like to think they ve gone to the same university. They're definitely in diff strands, Streber to Engineering and Lila to Architecture, but they could've met through an org and just been pals.

They weren't suuper close or anything, but they were birds of a feather. Girl who goes to class with chokers and giant boots, and guy dressed like a victorian fantasy LARPer.

I think she sent him flowers or a get well card in the hospital :) [miserable hand shake between them abt being personally victimized by Bob]

The Ships That Don't Have Doodles

these will just be single bullet points!

(x F. Gregor): same comments as wagegang x Lila; doesn't compel me. Nothing's wrong with it, I just don't see it.

(x Dexter): this is only funny to me because I draw Lila and co as cats in the Anthro AU. he calls her a stupid bitch, we can move on.

(x Jack): I could see a onesided crush from his side, like "the lady who keeps calling is kinda cute" but I don't know if I could see it getting serious. she can give him a smooch if he wants, as a treat.

(x John): ok this one could actually be really cute. eatyourmaker's post abt Skid and John getting along is super adorable and I could maybe imagine Lila hitting it off with him after seeing how much he cares for Skid. maybe Skid plays matchmaker. this could work. I like it.

(x Ignacio): in the deleted scenes she tried to beat a teen to death for calling Skid a dumbass, I don't think she could get over the threats.

(x Fat Thief/Thin Thief): this could be funny if she was still mad at them for breaking in repeatedly. she doesn't seem threatened by them just irritated LMAO

(x Frank): childhood friends who don't really talk but are chill with each other. they're funny. I don't feel the romance tho. S&P's cool uncle

(x Pump & Susie's Parents): Pump & Susie officially get Skid as a brother AND they finally have one (1) parent who isn't always absent, just sometimes absent. other than as a background detail tho there's nothing here.

(x Mayor Evermore): they would ignore each other on the street on purpose

(x Moloch): he didnt get to but he WOULD call her a bitch.

(x Richard): poor man's Lila x Carmen

(x Spider): please let my girl beat the spiderfucker allegations.

[boxwinebaddie]

miss ninaaa why did u delete the kyley b origin story jewelery ask, i was IN LOVE with ittt

Anonymous asked:

wha happened to the kyley b post i miss iy already nina :(

AAAAAAAAH. :'( </3

so when i went to bed last night, i saw this first anon and already felt bad, but now that this second one has come in, i just want to say...

...that i am so, SO sorry, my loves.

and to quote every bad movie breakup scene ever:

it's not you, it's me.

( and specifically my very fucked up brain. )

HERE is the link to the kyley b (jew)elery origin post.

i plucked it out of the lost and pound just for you.

i'm...sorry, i deleted it.

**and heavily edited it; it was bugging me.

the short version of my answer is that i developed a very poor coping mechanism for stress/perceived inferiority where even though i love my ncu content, i convince myself that it's bad and i hate it, to the point where i 'make it disappear' so that it's no longer an eyesore.

the very long, personal mental health uncle nina psychological eval with a lowk frightening beginning and hopeful ( i think? ) end is below. tw for depressing thoughts and mentally-ill framing.

I Hope You Heal. <3

because, unfortunately, as a bipolar two girlie, i am extremely prone to spells and spirals of depression ( especially in the summertime ), which, when combined with my already self-confidence cannibalizing anxiety disorder creates a very toxic, negative, medieval torture chamber of a headspace which makes makes my brain…

Very Unwell.

in essence, because of how frighteningly fragile i become, even tiniest inkling of doubt in my mind can poison the entire inkwell...and when that happens, even though i know, deep down, in a healthy, reasonable place, that the content i curate is well-composed, well-received writing that i am passionate about and should be proud of...the cracks and fissures that form in my heart and pysche from the broiler room of pressure i put on myself to preform create several vulnerable visceral openings for My Imposter Syndrome to worm into.

but instead of whispering sweet, sweet nothings, it's doomsay screaming awful, awful Everythings! that this thing you wrote that you love? not good enough. Everyone Is Going To Hate That. the people who liked that post? they just feel sorry for you and if you had any remorse, you would feel sorry for subjecting them to something so underwhelming, stupid, embarrassing and beneath them.

You Should Delete It.

[ DELETE. ] IT.

...aaaaand because the sirens are going off in my head, i feel like the walls are closing in, i frantically press the panic button ( delete post ) and think that i am doing everyone a favor bc not only are you no longer having to read what my extremely overloaded and anxiety corroded brain has classified as "EMBARRASSINGLY BAD" work, but i no longer have to feel ashamed bc it's

Gone.

or well...Privated. ( in this case. )

because i DO work so hard on everything i post that even when i think that it is extremely underwhelming no matter what i do, it is Hard for me to delete it because of the brain-power, intensive-typing and heart that went into making them...so like...it's a strange thing because i know that it's just an echo-chamber of evil lies and untruths, but when i'm rocking back and forth, with my chest eating my knees, and my entire education degree goes out the window when i can't teach myself how to breathe because of how bad i feel...

it's hard.

but...like i tell my kindergarteners everyday.

You Can Do HARD Things.

life is not easy, but it is worth it.

loving yourself is not easy...

But YOU Are Worth It.

unfortunately, i am a better at preaching than practicing. but a large part of my irl job is modelling good behavior and on here, i was deeply moved and touched to find that so many of you think so highly of me, so i also want to model good behavior on here.

which hinges on honesty...and hope.

so, basically, i did delete my post, which is made me feel good in the moment, but overall is not kind to myself ( or to the people who enjoyed reading the thing i randomly killed with knives and hammers because it wasn't 'Perfect' ) and i do not like modelling avoidant behavior, but it is also important to show you that i struggle, that it is okay to feel strange and sad, but that i am working on...not deleting my posts because i am a perfectionist/scared of letting you all down.

which...was clearly not the case? Wowza.

i really did not realize so many people cared about that, aha! but please feel free to ask me anything about kyley b kyle ( i have been trying to generate my thoughts and form some hcs actually! i love him being a sardonic, smart alecky delinquent boy in giant ed hardy jeans and a million different street fighter gta rings on his fingers )

also feel free to ask me anything, flashback related, random hc related, personal or otherwise! i know i've got a ton in the box, but i promise that just because i'm going through a lot and posting sporadically, doesn't mean you have be a stranger...

Just Be Gentle.

with me and as always,

with yourselves.

-uncle nina, doing her best <3

[crplpunkklavier]

I'm rereading Exorcism (now that its finished! yahoo) and I love Kitty Poes sm shes such an interesting characterrr would you wanna tell me about your process for developing her? ig I couldve DMed you but I myself love a chance to rant publicly so here you go lmao. I am unfortunately only on chapter 14 (though I got further than that last time) so if you wanna be spoilery just give me a warning and I'll read it later >:3c

kitty my best friend kitty

i think i can go over this without any spoilers past chapter 14! you have already seen her big arc and i am sooo happy people liked her <333

so! i've never mentioned this to anyone before, but kitty is a bit of a riff off of one of my oldest OCs. when i was about 18, i was big into katekyo hitman reborn, mostly because i was even bigger into organized crime as a general topic. catalena foggia was the youngest of four, and after a rival family took out her parents and all three of her older brothers (you know, the sort of backstory you give people as a teenager) she very grimly stepped up to the throne.

now whenever i need a female character with a "hello, i Run This Place" air about her, my mind goes to catalena, who of course was called cat by all her friends.

and i knew that i wanted a character like that as klavier's manager. generally, whenever i get to make OCs for my aa fics, i try to make most of them women if they aren't already implied to be men by canon like the rest of the gavinners, since aa refuses to have adult female characters that don't die. the gavinners started out as a bunch of teenage guys, the music industry is tough as nails, LA is horrible..... nobody but cat could've done it, man.

the whole dutch connection sort of happened on the fly. i knew i didn't want to call her catalena foggia, even if nobody but, like, the two irl friends i still have who knew me at 18 lol, knew of that oc. it was still important to me to differentiate, because this wasn't cat, this was a new oc who was very similar to and inspired by her. i remembered that kitty is a valid first name, so i went for that, because i like to think i'm funny. :^)

once you reach the end of exorcism, you'll find a little gdoc with bonus content i left in the end notes there, which among other things contains explanations for all the pun names i've used in the fic. including kitty's, but i'll reiterate here: the reason i stuck with a cat theme was that klavier gavin, in my mind, is absolutely a golden retriever, so i wanted to give him a manager/babysitter who is a cat. a big cat. kitty is short in stature, but i mention her lion's mane of hair often enough in the text, so, u know.

that's also part of what i wanted her to be. yeah, she had to be tough simply for the industry and for the fact that she was managing teenagers for a while, but i also knew that i wanted to give klavier friends, and people in his life who really care about him, and will stick with him through all this. kitty is lawfully loyal: if she doesn't agree with something, she has no trouble walking out, but once she actually takes to someone like she took to klavier, she will be fiercely protective. i never mentioned her age, but i imagined her in exorcism to be somewhere in her mid to late 40s. she's seasoned, she's experienced, she's capable - she's what klavier deserves!!! that's what i wanted. kristoph and daryan are so painfully incompetent, when it comes down to it. klavier needs people in his life who know what they're doing.

so, i wanted a big little lion lady for my dog boy. i sort of just clicked through my various dictionaries for a while looking up different cat terms in different languages to see if any of them sounded enough like a last name, and that's how i landed on poes. only after that did i decide to make the dutch conundrum A Thing.

thank you for asking about her <33333 enjoy the rest of the fic, feel free to keep me posted about ur reading experience too :3c

[heyyallitsbethfanfic]

Check Yes, Rat

On the 76th floor of Aincrad, a brigade of crusaders sat in the newly established bar of Agil. The party seemed to grow larger over time, now that the engine of Sword Art Online was unstable, bringing in unsuspecting hostages from other games, as well as trapping unfortunate souls within the backrooms of the code, the Hollow Area. Luckily, a raven haired boy had been there to catch the strays from Alfheim, GunGale and the Hollow Area, Leafa, Sinon and Philia. But even with a party growing ever larger, their leads on where to go from here were drying up. Assuming there even was somewhere to go from here, now that the game’s creator, Akihiko Kayaba had been killed. 

The black swordsman fidgeted in his seat before pulling up a message prompt.

“Look’s like we’re out of options. Last resort.”

The party looked on inquisitively as he effortlessly flicked out a message to the one person he trusted the most, but hadn’t spoken to in months.

“Kirito? Who are you messaging?” Asuna leaned against her partner.

“Oh, just our old mutual friend… With her skill and… Persistence... she’s probably already on the 76th floor.”

The rest of the party stiffened at the word “her”. While no words were spoken, the thought of another girl in their group caused a momentary flare of jealousy lost on the boy, who was struggling with his words.

“We’ve spoken a bit after the beta but… Not since Asuna and I were married. God this will be awkward.” Kirito shuddered at the thought, a chill down his spine.

“Ah Kii-boy, lookin for me huh?”

A shadow of beige and blonde fell behind Kirito who jumped from his seat. The rest of the party glared daggers at him “Kii-boy?”

“Je-jeez…” Kirito clutched his chest and smirked “Agil didn’t tell me this bar had a rat problem…” He absentmindedly tussled the blonde hair of the short cloaked figure standing beside the group. 

“Heheh. Just missin’ ya Kii-boy. And I knew the best place ta look was anywhere that had the most pretty gals hangin’ about.” Her gaze drifted to the table of friends “Looks like I was spot on huh?”

“Well, your info is always spot on aint it?”

The group expected Kirito to emit a flustered response, as he did with every other girl’s teasing. But was met with a confidence ill-fitting the boy.

“Umm Kazuto who is this?” Leafa spoke up, asking the question everyone was too afraid to ask.

“Ah Kii-boy, you never told your galpals about your best friend? I’m hurt.” The rat’s tone shifted at ‘best friend’ with seductive, teasing tone that was picked up by everyone at the table.

“Heh. I know you well enough that if I shared any info about ya you’d make me pay.” Kirito giggled, a foreign sight to the party, as it seemed that only his daughter Yui could make him laugh.

“Aw, after all this time still considerin’ the feelin’s of lil ol me?”

“Nope, just your business.”

“Nyehehe. Well, I’ll give yall this info for free. I’m Argo.” The cloaked girl extended her hand to Leafa. 

“Or you can call her a Rat, right Asuna?” Kirito looked at Asuna, who was trying to stifle a laugh at the rest of the group.

“Yeah. This is our good rat Argo. She’s an info broker, and has been playing with Kirito since the beta.”

Leafa took the girl’s hand and briskly shook it. “Nice to meet you. I’m Kirito’s sister.”

The Rat looked taken aback for a moment, then snickered. “Ah Sugu! I’m surprised ya don’t remember me! Guess Kii-boy is the same IRL as in here, I must’ve just been another pretty gal he took home. Nyehehehe.”

“Aaaaaaaaaand I am gonna get a very, very, VERY stern talking to tonight. By a lot of people.” Kirito thought to himself.

“What? Kazuto never brought anyone home! Did you come in through a window or something?” Leafa was startled at the thought. “Another girl with Kazuto? In our home? And he was HIDING her?”

“Nyehehe. If you want any more info on me and Kii-boy you’ll need to buy it.” She pulled out her menu, and tapped a few submenus, one labelled ‘All Info On Kii-boy’. The girl’s looked on in horror as Argo scrolled through pages upon pages of info, all locked behind various Cor amounts. One even hit the cap, at absolute max Cor.

“Y’know, now that Sugu is here, I should offer a bit more to those bounties. Don’t need her to have that much ammo on me.” He lightly teased, but shot Argo a quick cash-injection.

“Aw Kii-boy, you really that scared about a lil, tiny, itty bitty secret like that?” She smirked knowingly.

“Oooooo Kirito and somethin ‘lil tiny itty bitty’? Color me curious~ Always suspected those two swords were compensatin’ for somethin~” Liz was laughing, she wouldn’t say it, but her mind travelled to places she would NEVER willingly admit.

“No, it aint that. ‘Sides, if you want that info so bad, you could just ask Asuna or Sugu for cheaper.”

“S-sugu?!?!?!” Philia slammed her drink down on the table, shaking the whole table.

“Yeah… Hate to say it, but that wouldn’t exactly be his ‘little’ secret” Leafa blushed, trying to look anywhere but the table.

“Gross.” Sinon shook her head and rested it on a fist. “This guy even hittin on his own sister? Shouldn’t be surprised…”

Kirito laughed to himself.

“Yea. Leafa here’s a real perv. Had to get a lock on our bathroom door cuz she kept peekin’ in on me showering.”

“K-KAZUTO!” The poor sylph went a crimson red.

“Nyeheheh. This is gold, pure gold.”

“Jeez Kirito. Sayin’ stuff like that when your wife’s in the room.” Liz teased at the boy.

Both Argo and Asuna moved to speak but were cut off by Kirito.

“You’re one to talk Liz, after you and Philia took me to a hot spring just to try and get a peek too.”

The pair of girls flushed as Asuna, Argo and Kirito all laughed.

“Jeez Kii-boy, you got busy with me out of pitcha. Any girls here who didn’t have their virgin eyes tainted by ya?”

Sinon and Silica went from pale to a light pink blush. Sinon played with her fingers, and Silica grabbed onto Pina for support.

“Nyehehehe. No wonder ya wanna keep that info a secret Kii-boy.”

Argo finally took a moment to pull up a chair to the table, right next to Kirito and Asuna, resting her head against the former.

“Yeah. Don’t want the mob against ya.” Kirito flicked the forehead of the rat.

“Ah our poor beata’. Always the lightnin rod of hate.” 

“Um. I’m sorry but could you tell us who Kirito is to you Miss Argo?” Silica pouted in her seat. “She’s so bold… Only Asuna is ever that touchy with Kirito…”

“Oh I’m just ya friendly neighbahood rat. Unless ya got the Cor to spend~” She rubbed her thumb against her index and middle finger, telling them silently ‘pay up’.

“Good thing Leafa is so oblivious, otherwise it wouldn’t be much of a secret.” Asuna laughed out.

“Oh I’m great at hidin’, dontcha worry your pretty lil head A-chan”

“Wait. With all of us here, we could probably pool enough Cor to buy the info.” Sinon spoke up with a taunting smile.

Both Argo and Kirito gulped, Argo’s facade of confidence quickly deteriorated as the girls began counting cor together.

“Waitwaitwait-”

“Suppose we brought this on ourselves.” Kirito shook his head. “I am gonna get killed tonight.”

…

“So firstly, how exactly do you know Kirito?” Silica frowned out. 

“I may be a rat, but I don’t lie. Kii-boy and I met in SAO’s beta days, and partied together to test some features.”

“That’s a shock. Kirito always hated getting involved in guilds and parties.” Liz looked upset at the idea of Kirito and this girl hanging out like that.

“Argo basically forced me into it.”

“Nyeheheh. You never complained, did ya?”

“Oh I did constantly, you just ignored me.”

“Anyways, that’s why I had ta visit him IRL. Gotta make sure alllllll~ the sensations in SAO matched outside.” She playfully teased out at the girls.

“Um. Kirito what exactly were you and Argo testing?” Philia slumped down with her head resting against the table, utterly defeated.

“Oh Kii-boy is wonderful~ he was so kind to do everything~ I asked of him.”

Kirito sighed, knowing Argo would simply make things worse from here.

“Argo and I were the only pair of guy and girl beta testers who remotely liked eachother’s presence. So we got a bit of a direct order from the top to test a few things.” 

Kirito lifted up his hand to the party, revealing his shining silver wedding band.

“Argo and I were asked to test the wedding feature, and all of the benefits.”

The air in the room was frozen. The tense atmosphere could be cut with a knife. But it was cut short by the snort and stifled laugh of Asuna.

“Heh. Dorks.”

“Asuna?! Aren’t you upset at this homewrecker!” Liz shouted out at her friend.

“Please. If anything it’s the other way around.” Asuna smiled softly and wrapped her fingers in an embrace with Kirito’s.

“If anything, I think Asuna might just like to watch.” Sinon muttered bluntly.

“Nyeheheh. We could give her a good show Sinonon~”

“Wait so when you say you had to test all the sensations-” Leafa’s eyes got wide

“Nyehehehehehe. There’s a reason Kii-boy gotcha those noise-cancellin’ headphones Sugu.” 

Leafa buried her head in her hands in embarrassment.

“Wait so you and Kirito?...” Liz’s voice was weak and trailed off.

“Yuh huh! The whole nine yards! Kii-boy really knows how to treat a lady~, right A-chan?”

Asuna blushed at the Rat’s question.

“Jeez… I would’ve liked to think I’d recognize when Kazuto brought a girl home…” Leafa sulked.

“So Kirito’s first time wasn’t with Asuna?” Silica was practically hyperventilating.

The boy and the rat shared a laugh as Kirito stroked the hair of the small beast tamer.

“Eh, there’s some stuff only A-chan can provide of course.” Argo pressed her index fingers against eachother.

“Don’t feel bad about not realizing I brought home Argo, Sugu. Not like she goes by that name IRL.” The boy smirked and looked down at Argo.

“Oh playin with fire Kii-boy? You know you’ll get burned.”

“After this conversation, I’m gonna get killed anyways. Might as well have some fun with it.”

“Nyehehe. I suppose that’s fair. But yea, chin up Leafa. You probably wouldntve noticed lil ol me. I’m sure im not the only ~boyfriend~ Kii-boy brought home” The rat laughed and Kirito blushed.

“B-BOYFRIEND???” The table blurted out.

“Wait Argo does that mean you’re a guy? And Kirito is-” Silica looked at Kirito, eyes widening.

Sinon’s head filled with a word that’d get her banned from various public forums, even if she could reclaim it.

“Guy? No. Bisexual? Yes.” Argo answered bluntly.

“This funky rat is transgender. But she’s as much of a girl as any of yall. And if I hear anything against it…” He lightly tapped his a sword on his back.

“Oh. Huh. Neat. Me too actually.” Sinon chirped, pleasantly surprised. “And now that I know Kirito likes girls like me…”

“Wait wait wait I feel like we’re glossing over the whole ‘Kirito has two wives’ bit.” Philia butted in. “I feel like that is important to address.”

“We’re stuck in a death game and you’re worried about the ethics of polyamory?” Asuna coldly responded. “With how much you all flirt with my husband I’d assumed you were fine with it.”

The table turned to bickering and gossiping as Kirito and Argo slinked away.

“Well that went better than expected.” Argo let out a breath she didn’t even realize she’d been holding.

“Yeah. I’m just glad they didn’t ask who was the top.”

Kirito and Argo laughed to themselves before discussing plans for clearing the future floors. Now the group had gotten larger yet again. But something struck itself in Kirito’s head.

“Hmm both Argo and Sinon huh… I wonder if I’m…” the thought cut itself short, and they shook their head “heh. We can worry about that silly thought later.”

[lunawings]

Today was a big day for me.

After finally starting treatment earlier this month for the health problems I'd alluded to before, I've been feeling a lot better.

So much better in fact, that I submitted a very last minute somewhat spontaneous application to the Idol Showcase at Another Anime Con this weekend and... I was accepted!

The song I applied with was Analog Heart, my favorite Rina Tennoji song that I've been practicing on and off for a long time. (Pretty much ever since I decided I wanted to try IRL idol activities.) And I was really, really excited to finally perform it.

But, due to circumstances at my work impacting my schedule the week before, I had to go an entire week without practicing before the event and I found myself unusually nervous. Then, this was exacerbated by two other factors. First of all, I was scheduled to perform very late in the event for some reason (perhaps my bad for applying late) so I had to sit and watch so many wonderful, wonderful performers before my turn (including another Rina who did SO GOOODDDD). Meanwhile, this was all taking place outside in a tent.

In the POURING rain.

As I felt the occasional droplet on my head and watched the wall of the tent cave in and split open beside me I felt increasingly concerned that the entire roof would just burst open at some point to inundate us all. It did not, but one of the biggest leaks happened to be right on the stage, so when I got up there and saw that puddle it was like.... uurugughghg.

In the end I got through my performance just fine and everyone cheered for me! The crowd was so kind!

But

I felt my movements were a lot more jerky and rushed than they should have been.

Which sucks considering I was SO happy with my audition video. I felt like I'd finally captured the fluid, confident movement I'd been striving for, for so long and I was SO. PROUD........

I shouldn't be this disappointed in myself but unfortunately I am.

*sigh*

Thing is, this was supposed to be my last solo performance as a Love Live character. I was hoping that, after this performance, I would feel fulfilled enough to close that chapter and move on to the other things I have planned.

But I don't feel that way at all.

I don't think I'm ready to let go of Rina quite yet...

Well.

My next opportunity to perform probably won't be for quite some time, so I do have a lot of time to think about it. I can always learn new things and still keep Rina on the backburner if another opportunity comes up short notice. I mean who even knows when I'll feel confident enough to perform the next thing I've got planned anyway because it'll be even harder and more nerve-wracking.

So I guess that's where I currently stand as a soloist.

As for my group idol endeavors... we'll see :)

To end on a high note I guess I'll leave this photo. My friend was cosplaying Lanzhu. Lanzhu was killed by pirates. She died. I don't know if Rina has noticed yet.