#introspective fox is introspective

[fanflames]

" You must excuse my curiosity in matters like these; there is little opportunity for any citizen in Belobog to dream of the stars and travel to make such a reality but... do you do this often? Venture into the unknown, utterly unaware of what perils might await you there? ⸺ I imagine it to be terribly daunting, no matter the routine. " as a military leader first & everything else second, she certainly would know; how various agonies & anxieties would never wane, no matter how much of a second nature the battle for survival would ultimately become. Nevertheless, her thoughts & emotions tied therein are a secret she keeps, offering amicassador a gentle smile instead, attention flickering towards documents in front of her instead for a moment ere fixating other's gaze once again. " That said, allow me to properly welcome you to the City of Everwinter, Lady Tingyun. "

AN UNEXPECTED LETTER, for @zajevre .

        she had to admit that it was a bit nervewracking coming here by herself.  especially after the crisis on the luofu,  it was a miracle that yukong  (  begrudgingly  )  allowed her to head this mission.  there was little information on jarilo-vi to brief herself on;  tingyun knew of the snowy plains and she knew only one city inhabited the world.  fragments of intel like this was gleaned from the careless ramblings of march 7th and stelle.  despite this,  it was surprising to see just how empty and just how frigid this place truly was.

        their circumspective nature was more than understandable.  this was not the first government to hesitate in matters of commerce and it would not be the last.  however,  she more than appreciated the welcome that the madam guardian herself set for her.  within belobog's frosty roads there was warmth to be found in their culture,  remarkably formal and reserved but otherwise polite even towards a newcomer such as herself.  guards galore were stationed at all sides of her as she navigated her first days here.  a timely audience with the illustrious bronya rand was a greatly appreciated perk,  as well.

        clawed hands cradled the tea cup offered to her upon her arrival.  the steam radiating off of liquid's surface was welcomed in earnest,  its ghost leaving behind wafts of something herbal and floral.  a long,  generous sip filled her chest with a much needed warmth.  a relieved sigh,  then came the guardian's burning questions.

        "  you must excuse my curiosity in matters like these;  there is little opportunity for any citizen in belobog to dream of the stars and travel to make such a reality but...  do you do this often?  venture into the unknown,  utterly unaware of what perils might await you there?   ⸺   i imagine it to be terribly daunting,  no matter the routine.  "  bronya's speech was remarkably formal and calculated in a way that was to be expected of a political leader.  an even rhythm,  careful anunciation,  and virtually no tonal fluxes to be heard.  any diplomat would be truly impressed by the tact in which she expressed herself.  

        though   ...  somebody as practiced as herself in the art of perception would notice that this question was outside the realms of business.  interesting,  but not something she felt the need to dwell on.  tingyun smiled and replied back with similar tact.  "  please,  i don't mind at all!  it's truly an honor to be sat before the madam guardian herself in the first place,  let alone to have her interested in my adventures.  to answer your question:  yes,  i make trips to other planets quite frequently.  though,  it has been a while since i've gone to a new planet.  helm master yukong,  my superior,  has been apprehensive of sending me out after our own stellaron dilemma,  so it is incredibly exciting to be out in the galaxy again! "

        her rambling came to a natural close as she took the opportunity to sip tea once more,  the brew notably cooler than her first sip.  even the office was colder than what she was used to out on the luofu.  lashes fluttered from cup to companion   ⸺   she noted the soft,  unwavering smile upon bronya's features as her eyes smoothed over the endless documents that bordered her desk.  a fine desk it was,  large with rather sturdy construction from what she could tell.  a subtle nod guided her gaze back to tingyun's.

        "  ...  that said,  allow me to properly welcome you to the city of everwinter,  lady tingyun.  "  bronya graciously said.  she noted that her tone became the slightest bit colder,  not out of malice but out of scripted obligation.  

        the foxian's line of sight gravitated towards the grand,  open window at their left.  from here she could see the buildings of the city,  the vendors' booths,  the trollies,  and the people who have spent their entire lives in this city.  she thought of how they would never live to see this planet dethawed and flourishing.  for a moment,  tingyun thought of how perhaps she might if this all worked out.  what an oddly sobering thought.

        it was as she said,  though.  jarilo-vi truly was unique in every way.  with somebody so young and bright at it's helm taking initiative the way bronya rand has,  even an outsider could find inspiration in her vision.  tingyun turned back to her companion and smiled warmly.  left fist met right palm in the luofu's traditional greeting.   "  and allow me to thank you,  madam guardian,  for your exceptional hospitality.  i am thrilled to experience your beautiful city for the first time.  let the relationship between our homes flourish under your leadership.  "

[azure-firecracker]

Caught on Tape

Summary: One late night at the office, Scully finds some strange tapes buried in the bottom of Mulder's desk. What she finds could fundamentally alter the way she views her partner - and their relationship.

Or: Mulder made tapes for Scully while she was abducted. One night she finds them.

Look, I may be in Season 4, but I will always mentally be in Season 2. The abduction arc is so dear to me, and means so much for both characters.

Rating: Teen and Up

Word Count: 4,044

TW/CW: Suicidal ideation, near-suicide attempt, references to abduction.

Read on Ao3

HUGE thanks to @theswisscheeserag for beta-ing this one. This fic was a struggle, and she really saved it from succumbing to all of my bad writing habits, so y’all have her to thank for that.

Tagging @today-in-fic :)

[hadesknockedupintheunderworld]

What if I was insane again about the first thing Alpha Grim Sonic hearing when Nine creates him is his purpose—that he is Nine's friend?

Friendship as a concept in Prime is handled interestingly among its main characters. As Sonic (who thinks he knows a lot about friendship) comes to deepen his understanding of what it means to have a home/be home, I think it's safe to say his definition of friendship develops along with it. Compare this to Nine, who's learned everything he knows about "friendship" and personal relationships in general through his relationship with Sonic (at least, after his childhood of bullying).

So of course I think about Nine, who never wants to be hurt again, yet can no longer bear feeling alone (not after feeling that sense of companionship and belonging with someone else), which results in him creating a warped version of friendship for himself (one where he is surrounded by people, but people who only do whatever he wants, who have no opinions and thoughts of their own, who can't backstab him). And so I think about Alpha Grim Sonic, who is the very first robot Nine creates under this idea of frienship and companionship.

Nine is his master, and Alpha Grim Sonic is his protector, his bodyguard, his weapon

But he's also his friend.

Alpha Grim Sonic doesn’t talk back (can't even if he wanted to), but his purpose has always been clear to him: be Nine's friend. That's what he was created to be.

So I imagine Alpha Grim Sonic performing his purpose to the T at first under Nine's framework. He's Nine's friend, so he does whatever Nine commands, he never talks back or challenges authority, he protects Nine at all cost. And then, perhaps unbeknownst to Nine, he begins to shift ever so gradually. Sure, he's never insubordinate, he never offers up opinions, he still can't speak, but the lines of devotion begin to blur.

Is it in his code? Is out of a real sense of feeling?

Alpha Grim Sonic does not understand friendship, no matter whether it believes it does or not. But it's ironic to me if, despite being created under Nine's warped idea of it, the robot slowly grows their own soul, witnesses other displays of frienship and care, and drifts outside the bounds of that idea (a carefully crafted painting begins to leak out of its frame, expanding the masterpiece). They protect Nine, they do only what he commands, and yet they hate to see Nine in pain, they wish to bring Nine comfort (and so it feels good to him when Nine commands him to do such things that might bring his master comfort).

Does this make any sense? To believe that friendship means to hold one person on a pedestal, to protect them, to only listen to them, to never talk back, to never have opinions, and yet, despite believing what your creator tells you of friendship with them (your very purpose in this existence), to slowly fall further into those feelings that true care and love for another person brings, to wish to comfort someone the way one might describe a true friend would, despite not realizing any of this.

[affectionatelyrs]

Help Me Hold On to You

RWRB | T | 3.2k | One Shot

Tags - Canon Compliant, Post-Canon, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Panic Attacks, Introspection

Summary

“I can’t do this all the time, Alex,” Henry huffs out, arms crossed from the opposite end of the couch. “I’ve been more than happy to help, and I’ve been doing so as much as I can, but we need to talk about it. It’s been…a lot for me.” Too much. Henry doesn’t say it directly, but it’s the undercurrent of his words. Two words that Alex has heard many times in his life, over and over again until they became permanently pressed into his eyelids like a brand, reminding him of his state of being every time he so much as blinks.

Or, Henry isn't always able to give Alex the help he needs, which sends Alex into a spiral, but they'll always find a way to work things out together

It's here! :) This was very cathartic to write and what started as me just needing to put words on to a page turned into a fic that I'm like.... actually extremely proud of; it's so personal and important to me and I truly hope that y'all love it too

[lindewyrm]

It makes me sad that I often abandon social media when my art isn't perceived but also if no one sees it why share it (on the internet)? I am an oc artist primarily, I draw for the little guys in my head because if I don't who will

Oh also made that watermark btw

[nazorneku]

𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐧, 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐞 ?

behind the mask you aren’t slick about whatever you think you’re hiding. glass shatters in your midst, blood spills, children scream. like some of your friends, your personality of choice is entirely artificial. the difference between you and them is that you can get away with it. you’re unknown, perhaps even to yourself, and your goals are complex and unknown. anyone stupid enough to fall for you is setting themselves up to be frustrated and confused, owing to your being ultimately unknowable. i hope you can find an identity that makes you comfortable.

cauterizing rage the house has burned around you, and you’re the only one left standing. is it gratifying to be the survivor? fear and anger are weapons in your capable hands, used only to serve your agenda of fighting back when deemed necessary. you're a powerful person, built from the ashes of your despair and your family's mistakes. with time, you'll bloom into someone softer, like the full blossoms that grow each spring and wither away with the leaves in fall. they won't disappear if you take your eyes off of them. you're enough.

fractured glass no amount of orchestrated class is ever going to hide the fact that you’re doomed to be alone. you’re a puppet, you’re a weapon, but most importantly? you’re a fraud. your facade isn’t malicious, but that doesn’t change a thing. everything in your life is in your control now, and you chose to let yourself become stiff and distant. you’re guilty of everything you blame yourself for, and your misfortune is the fault of nobody but yourself. your selfish nature forges you into a man-made monster, so quick to blame and so desperate to escape consequence. i hope that you can become someone you’re proud of soon.

tagged by: @imarahuyo tagging: @oniriqe (that fake ass blond man), @songcursed , @strfe , @scarletrotted , @endweapon , @box-of-characters (Takumi or Cornel), @zajevre , @dexteracaeli (thunder boi), @withsorrowandregret (Hamel or Zoya), @mycsotis (Saya)

[yellow-speedster]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types, Sonic Prime (Cartoon 2022) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Sonic the Hedgehog & Nine, Miles "Tails" Prower & Sonic the Hedgehog Characters: Nine (Sonic Prime), Miles "Tails" Prower, Sonic the Hedgehog Additional Tags: Canon Compliant, Introspection, Character Study, Nine needs a hug and a hell of a lot of other things, maybe hes found them, wrote this in a fugue state after binging all of Prime the day it aired, Screen Reader Friendly, Screen Reader Compatible, also im making the assumption that Nine still has the same name as Tails, only their nicknames are different, oh yeah there might be spoilers in here if you haven't watched prime, but its mostly vague and alluded too tbh, Referenced Bullying, Implied/Referenced Abuse Summary:

Years of familiar experiences had sharped Nine into the person he is, honed all his pointed edges till they could draw blood. And yet all it takes to start sanding them down again is one wholly out of place hedgehog.

Or, a brief look into the landscape of Nine's head after a certain blue blur dashes into his life, and shakes apart what Nine thought he knew.

[lovetold]

tag drop: cc + dja.ts + mythology + oua.bh.

* ⠀ 𓂅 ⠀INTROSPECTION / META ⠀ 、 ⠀ bryce quinlan. * ⠀ 𓂅 ⠀INTERACTIONS / ASKS ⠀ 、 ⠀ bryce quinlan.

* ⠀ 𓂅 ⠀INTROSPECTION / META ⠀ 、 ⠀ ithan holstrom. * ⠀ 𓂅 ⠀INTERACTIONS / ASKS ⠀ 、 ⠀ ithan holstrom.

* ⠀ 𓂅 ⠀INTROSPECTION / META ⠀ 、 ⠀ camila dunne. * ⠀ 𓂅 ⠀INTERACTIONS / ASKS ⠀ 、 ⠀ camila dunne.

* ⠀ 𓂅 ⠀INTROSPECTION / META ⠀ 、 ⠀ persephone. * ⠀ 𓂅 ⠀INTERACTIONS / ASKS ⠀ 、 ⠀ persephone.

* ⠀ 𓂅 ⠀INTROSPECTION / META ⠀ 、 ⠀ evangeline fox. * ⠀ 𓂅 ⠀INTERACTIONS / ASKS ⠀ 、 ⠀ evangeline fox.

[unpsychics]

lil drag drop <3

[foxglovefaun]

@wholelotofweird

mebbe it feel good when we know the blorbo be lookin back toward introspection

but only slightly

mebbe some vicariousness is located slightly 2 the left

what if i draw my character looking slightly to the left in a nondescript location again

[azure-firecracker]

Happy Belated Birthday to Me!

When I asked y’all what I should do for my birthday, the top two results were a rant about my favorite MSR moments and a self-indulgent oneshot. I combined the two, and now present: a collection of some of my beloved MSR moments - in fic form!

(Specifically, this is a series of vignettes reflecting Mulder slowly falling in love with Scully over the course of some of my favorite MSR scenes).

Fic Title: I Hate All of My Habits, But I Happen to Love You

Rating: General Audiences

Word Count: 5,066

Description: Mulder's thoughts in pivotal moments, as he slowly realizes what Scully means to him.

Or: A series of vignettes depicting Mulder's inner monologue throughout some of my favorite MSR moments.

Read on Ao3

Enjoy! Thanks to everyone who sent me birthday wishes. Love y’all❤️

Tagging @today-in-fic

[frostbitebakery]

LOUD.

a Jedi Shadow!Obi-Wan AU

Introspection fucking sucks, according to Commander Fox.

The thing about him is, he’s been made out to be a bastard and ever since their batch found their calling or whatever he’s embraced that role.

Every batch needed someone who didn’t secretly want to be cuddled, who pushed others away so he could keep track of the big picture.

Cody had competed for the role for a while. As did Wolffe.

For Cody, his heart, big and fragile once you got to know him, got in the way in the end. He sees the whole picture, craves it so he won’t go crazy from the losses. But he believes in people and their goodness.

Fox doesn’t.

Wolffe made the mistake of getting the galaxy’s best General. General Koon shits rainbows and glitter, from what Fox has been forced to listen to.

Fox has… the Chancellor.

He takes a swig of water and wishes it were something stronger. But Quin is on the other side of Fox’s desk, reading glasses ever so slowly slipping down his nose while he’s crunching and tracking the numbers to prove the Chancellor is, indeed, siphoning credits off the Republic to giftwrap them for the Seppies.

He takes another swig.

Wouldn’t surprise him if Palpatine turned out to be the villain of the whole story.

Brought Fox to drink with the kind attitude, the cruelty so expertly hidden from first glance, cushioned in false promises and support.

Hadn’t been pretty. But it had been easy. You go to the right places, people are only too willing to shell out for some drinks. Entertainment and morbid curiosity what brings a clone to their knees.

Some found the lisp he has because of the scar that ransacks through his lips and tongue endearing but most hadn’t bothered with wanting him talking.

Some wanted to inspect the changes in the Corrie armor up close and cozy.

If shit hadn’t already multiplied, Organa came flouncing into the Guard offices every two weeks with a new design like they were his little dress-up dolls.

The last design, the one that stayed, had a dummy connector installed in the backplate.

Fox hadn’t mentioned it. Had stewed over how the Guard, already isolated from the rest of the GAR, wasn’t even considered for the neural network that would make them more efficient, more deadly if activated. Treated like scum on a pedestal, overlooked and taken for granted.

Fox takes every advantage he can squeeze from that.

Every batch needs a willing loner who’s got the big picture in his head at all times and doesn’t care for the minutiae.

Fox had been comfortable in that role, really. He saw Thorn and Stone and Thire and the rest of them making friends and lovers and heartbreak, and that was the last fucking thing Fox wanted.

And then came Vos. Appearing from the shadows like a designer nightmare.

For such a short time they’ve sure gone through a lot together.

To the point Vos became Quinlan became Quin became Vos again became someone Fox clung to while fighting fucking addiction and the realization that he is stupid enough to become addicted.

No matter what Quin had said, Fox was supposed to be the pinnacle of cloning and artificially creating the perfect soldier. Addiction is a weakness and fault.

Fox almost did something extremely stupid over that one.

Turns out it’s all part of the sentient experience.

Fucking sucks.

Quin had laughed at that, ugly and bruised laughter, continuing to comb his fingers over Fox’s head. “Tell me about it.”

An eloquent way to say Quin was going through withdrawal himself.

They got outside help after that.

“Hey, Depa,” Quin murmurs absently after answering his comm, pushes his glasses up.

“Quinlan, is your line still secure?”

“‘Course. Especially after Fox got his grubby little hands all over it.”

Fox shows him the middle finger of one of his grubby little hands.

“Good,” General Billaba clips out. Quin straightens up, and maybe Fox’s attention isn’t misplaced here. “Good. Commander Cody was activated by the Sith Lord and he’s bringing Obi-Wan to Coruscant.”

Activated.

Quin is silent. Blinks up at the ceiling. “Can you run that by me again?”

“Quinlan, we have reason to be believe the Chancellor is the Sith Lord.”

Hah. Fox got that one right on his bingo card, at least.

Cody got activated.

As they’ve learned, the neural network - battlefield mediation, in fancy Kamino speak - is activated by a designated Force using GAR personnel. Surprisingly, the status is even an optional display on the screens of every trooper’s vambrace. Or not so surprisingly.

Cody got activated by the Chancellor. Who is the Sith Lord the Order has been hunting.

Fox will deal with that later or never, whatever comes first.

He’s comming the Guard all across the planet, checking the weapons on his person, while General Billaba explains the situation. He appreciates her succinct manner, he’s gotta say.

“I’m on the way to detain Anakin. Mace is following the ship Commander Cody captured but we need someone to intercept them on Coruscant before he reaches Palpatine.” She halts for a brief moment. “Obi-Wan seems to believe the Commander has betrayed him when he knows about the neural link inside the clones. We are fearing the Darkness is deliberately attacking and clouding his senses.”

“I’m on my way,” Quin nods, adds with a calculating glance at Fox, “I’m not sure I have back-up.”

“Funny thing about the Alderaan design of the guard armor,” Fox comments, checking the plasma charge on his DC, and vows to give Senator fucking Organa a sliced fruit platter, “the Guard doesn’t have the connector to the neural link.”

He comms their resident medic next and orders every gundark-level tranquilizer delivered to him.

Cody got activated and is following the orders of a Sith Lord.

Stars help them.

[stil-lindigo]

Comics Masterpost (organised by collection)

Please heed relevant content warnings on each post. Completed collections have physical and digital copies available for purchase on my store.

Soliloquy Down to Three [COMPLETED]

Soliloquy down to Three is an anthology of dark sapphic comics, all of which are a mix of both old and new inspiration. Its title is a line from 'craters', indicating that the phrase "I love you" manages to fit a whole monologue worth of feeling into three words.

The compiled version contains exclusive illustrations for each couple, as well as a secret ending to 'craters'.

1. fishing twine 2. hook, line and sinker (sequel to 'fishing twine) cw: suggestive imagery 3. RED cw: suggestive imagery, blood, murder with an axe 4. RED - epilogue cw: blood 5. patchwork canary cw: mouth + neck mutilation, blood 6. craters cw: implications of suicide

♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢

10PM [COMPLETED]

10pm is a collection of introspective comics that covers feelings of aimlessness, alienation and finding joy in creativity again. Its full title is "It's 10pm. Do you know who you are?" which is a twist on the old PSAs that used to play on American TVs reminding parents to check up on their children.

1. the parade

2. the elevator

3. the machine

4. the candle

5. the stone

6. the dredger

♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢

Hearteaters [COMPLETED]

Heart-eaters is an anthology about the ugliest, gory-est, most heartfelt and most brutal parts of love. Sitting at a whopping 180 pages, Heart-eaters is the longest anthology I've made yet, and took over a year to finish in full.

The compiled books available for purchase on my store contain an exclusive joint-comic to "Shallow Grave" and poem named "Laozi's bowl", as well as 9 original full-page art splashes unique to their assigned stories.

1. the sunset cw: gun violence, death, blood 2. the calamity cw: eye scarring, blood, eye mutilation, gore (minimal) 3. seeing clearer (epilogue to 'the calamity') cw: biblical references 4. shallow grave cw: gravestone imagery 5. bite of winter (joint comic to 'scorched earth') cw: gore, blood, death, cannibalism, dismemberment 6. scorched earth (joint comic to 'bite of winter') cw: blood, death, burning alive, beheading 7. ashes to ashes (prequel comic to 'scorched earth') 8. little dove (prequel comic to 'scorched earth') 9. warmth 10. the fox god cw: emotional manipulation, animal abuse 11. the fields cw: blood, animal death, mild gore and blood

[hedgehog-moss]

do you have recommendations for introspective fiction? :) i've been craving for something for my brain to much on that will also cause me pain, but i honestly have no clue where to get that. any advice?

Hello! I had trouble finding ideas at first because all the introspective & thought-provoking books that came to mind were nonfiction (diaries, etc—especially when it comes to women writers) but here are 10 suggestions, with excerpts :) Note that I took your "cause me pain" request seriously; these are not exactly feel-good reads.

Steppenwolf, Herman Hesse Man is not capable of thought in any high degree, and even the most spiritual and highly cultivated of men habitually sees the world and himself through the lenses of delusive formulas and artless simplifications—and most of all himself. For it appears to be an inborn ... need of all men to regard the self as a unit. In reality, however, every ego ... is in the highest degree a manifold world, a constellated heaven, a chaos of forms, of states and stages, of inheritances and potentialities. It appears to be a necessity as imperative as ... breathing for everyone to be forced to regard this chaos as a unity and to speak of his ego as though it were a one-fold and clearly detached and fixed phenomenon. Even the best of us shares the delusion.

Notes From Underground, Fyodor Dostoevsky Why, suffering is the sole origin of consciousness. Though I did lay it down at the beginning that consciousness is the greatest misfortune for man, yet I know man prizes it and would not give it up for any satisfaction. Consciousness, for instance, is infinitely superior to twice two makes four. Once you have mathematical certainty there is nothing left to do or to understand. There will be nothing left but to bottle up your five senses and plunge into contemplation.

The Book of Disquiet, Fernando Pessoa I asked for very little from life, and even this little was denied me. A nearby field, a ray of sunlight, a little bit of calm along with a bit of bread, not to feel oppressed by the knowledge that I exist, not to demand anything from others, and not to have others demand anything from me — this was denied me, like the spare change we might deny a beggar not because we're mean-hearted but because we don't feel like unbuttoning our coat.

Ishmael, Daniel Quinn All sorts of creatures on this planet appear to be on the verge of attaining self-awareness and intelligence. We were never meant to be the only players on that stage. [But] man is the first of all these. He is the trailblazer, the pathfinder. [….] Man’s place in the world is to be the first without being the last. Man’s place is to figure out how it’s possible to do that—and then to make room for all the rest who are capable of becoming what he’s become.

The Lady and the Little Fox Fur, Violette Leduc Her hope was stored in a safe place. On tiptoe, avidly, she gazed through the windows. ... She was filled with a fixed determination to pay the next month’s rent, to sally forth once more to the pawnbroker’s, to offer him the clothes off her back, to sell her teeth, ... but at all costs to go on living against the panes of strangers’ windows. She bumped into women hurriedly buying food for their dinners; she was breathing the oxygen meant for people who had spent their day working. To cry out that it was impossible for her to begin her life all over again would be useless.

The Last Summer of Reason, Tahar Djaout The city with the many forms of iridescence that once danced on the foam ... is now a field of merciless thorns. Love is a recumbent effigy, a dead tree. Song flees into exile. ... Books—the closeness of them, their contact, their smell, and their contents—constitute the safest refuge against this world of horror. They are the most pleasant and the most subtle means of traveling to a more compassionate planet.

The Royal Game, Stefan Zweig They did nothing—other than subjecting us to complete nothingness. For, as is well known, nothing on earth puts more pressure on the human mind than nothing. ... There was nothing here that could release me from my thoughts, from my obsession with them, from my pathological reiteration of them. And that was exactly what they intended: I was to choke and choke on my thoughts until they asphyxiated me.

Dawn, Elie Wiesel [Words] serve only to give meaning to our actions. And our actions, seen in their true and primitive light, have the odor and color of blood. This is war, we say; we must kill. ... And what else can we do? War has a code, and if you deny this you deny its whole purpose and hand the enemy victory on a silver platter. That we can’t afford. We need victory, victory in war, in order to survive, in order to remain afloat on the surface of time.

Darkness at Noon, Arthur Koestler All our principles were right, but our results were wrong. This is a diseased century. We diagnosed the disease and its causes with microscopic exactness, but wherever we applied the healing knife a new sore appeared. Our will was hard and pure, we should have been loved by the people. But they hate us. Why are we so odious and detested? ... Whenever had a good cause been worse represented? When and where in history had there ever been such defective saints?

All the Lovers in the Night, Mieko Kawakami The job that I was doing, the place where I was living, the fact that I was all alone and had no one to talk to. Could these have been the result of some decision that I’d made? I heard a crow crying somewhere in the distance and turned to the window. It occurred to me that maybe I was where I was today because I hadn’t chosen anything. I had faked it the whole way. ... I was so scared of failing, of being hurt, that I chose nothing. I did nothing.

[nazorneku]

intended to post this right after his interrogation dropped on global, but never went along the plan— probably 'cause when i first read it in CN, it did affect me to the very core... but considering today is his birthday, it should be done in honor of the day beware of mentions of child abuse, child death and suicide, if you proceed to read this post

In the beginning I want to say that I was utterly excited to get his interrogation, considering Mr. Fox is A rank Sinner, but with collective demands via surveys we got my man a well-deserved lore expansion. Not to mention, I still think with his kit and utility he should be S rank Sinner, but this conversation is for another day—

After a long time over analyzing the man and simply reading his profile with a refreshed glance, it's apparent that Mr. Fox doesn't senselessly gather money for the sake of it. The wealth he amasses is used for bribery, the means to a concrete end he pursues and another way to convince victims without resorting to use own powers. But he doesn't yearn for money in a way an avaricious person would. And this is what Special Conversation 1 is 'bout:

He purposefully alienates self from these other people, as he personally has no interest in money and it's just an image of a corrupt lawyer that he so skillfully dons. What he really yearns for is punishment.

Moving to interrogation now. Phase 1, in which Mr. Fox tries to control Chief. There's actually two scenarios, depending on Chief's reaction, and both of them are worthy of mention. So I first will go with the one, where the Chief openly displays that Mr. Fox powers failed to affect them and outrightly denies signing the leave permit. In that case, he strangles self and interrogation ends and is considered failed. To proceed with interrogation, the Chief must play along and sign the permit. But let's also consider why he actually failed to control the Chief. In his file it's stated that his abilities actually have a disadvantage - they are tied to his own mental energy.

This means when he's stressed or tired, his powers are less effective, and hence why his failure makes sense during the interrogation. It's going against his intention of getting a permit to remain outside MBCC and he realizes that things aren't moving with the Chief, which gets him stressed out and desperate, 'cause he has to be in court or "it doesn't count". This is kind of an immediate stake.

Phase 3, during the trial Mr. Fox experiences two flashbacks and this is the most important part of comprehending why he does things the way he does. The first flashback is actually 'bout Mr. Fox. A memory from the young days. This describes the abuse (most likely more emotional than physical, in his case) he experienced at the hands of own parents, as they were constantly belittling him and using his shortcomings to justify their mistreatment of him.  

The second flashback is the past trial in which he represented a domestic abuse case on the side of the abusers.

From his Arrest Records, that basically summarizes the fallout of the trial that he regrets deeply.

The abusive parents thanked Mr. Fox for winning the case and their explanation for their gratitude horrified him, causing him later to attempt suicide, but being unable to go through with it and awakening a Sinner ability instead. The trial concludes with Mr. Fox realizing in the present now that he's 'bout to repeat his past "sin" and this time chooses to act differently by turning on his client.

There are two reasons of why he responded in such a way. The first is that it didn't fit what he has always claimed is the client's definition of justice - "victory in court", instead the justice that the abusive parents claimed he brought them was him proving their son was wrong and they were right. The second is that he realized their rhetoric mirrors what his own parents used to justify their emotional abuse of him, and then feeling the hurt he felt when he was younger all over again. He tried to violently deny it with the "uphold justice" excuse, but subconsciously knew that his clients were people as awful, if not worse, as his parents.

Mr. Fox likely witnessed the suicide of that boy, which amplified his guilt even further to the point he wanted to "meet the same hellish fate" by killing himself in the same way, but was "restrained" as stated by him (either literally physically restrained by people who were at the scene or that despite his strong urge to carry it out, he successfully stopped himself from committing suicide). This trauma of the experience, combined with extreme guilt and shame, caused him to awaken as a Sinner.

And now he's collecting more "sins" (changing victim testimonies, bribing and controlling people, killing witnesses, winning his client's cases no matter the truth) to make sure that when he's finally able to die, he'll get the harshest punishment imaginable.

Concluding thoughts: while he is able to recognize abuse in the cases he dealt with, Mr. Fox is in denial when it comes to his own childhood memories and hasn't accepted that his parents' treatment of him was also a form of abuse. This denial is what later forms a part of his motivation to stand on the side of abusers and deny the reality of a vulnerable boy's abuse, apart from the financial incentive.

There's also one neat moment worth mentioning— The meaning behind the tongue piercing and its direct connection to his past "sins" and awakened Sinner ability. To be honest, after long consideration I do not think that he is fit Greed Alignment, 'cause he is actually a fraud, playing the role of the corrupt lawyer in the pursuit of money, when all he does is aimed to taint self as much as possible. He wishes to absorb all the "sins" and corruption, to take it all on himself.

[leoascendente]

PAC/ Update on your love life 💕

Hi my loves and welcome to this new pick a a card! Here you have a new pac about love, I wanted to make it about something you all liked and it seems like these ones are your favorites so I made this as a summer solstice gift. I hope you like and resonate❣️

Take a deep breath before choosing the pile that calls you the most, keep ehat resonates and leave what doesn't

Happy summer solstice my dears, I love you all 🫶

My blog in Spanish here

Paid readings here

All pics are from pinterest, credits to their owners

Pile 1:

(Cards: world, 8 of gems, 5 of shells, 2 of shells, 2 of roses, hermit/ Tea leafs: dog barking, older woman, vine, purse flowers)

My dear pile 1, your love life looks a little confusing at the moment and I think this pile is only for single people. I see that there's someone you had intimacy with in the past but things ended up, is currently thinking about you, this person may ghosted you without you knowing why, if you resonate with this situation just know that they ghosted you because something complicated was going on in their life. The person in your mind thinks about you very often, I wouldn't be surprised if you've been dreaming about them or feeling their energy. Right now you look dissaponted because things seemed better than in the past, you put a lot of hope into this person just to feel like they failed you, in this case you are being called to meditate over your expectations and how you deal with your romantic relationships, it makes sense because of the picture you chose. You crave unconditional love, almost like as the picture says 'to merge souls', you are not meant for something sporadic or superficial, you need passion and intensity but my dear, you are forgetting about the hard parts of a relationship, you are thinking about falling in love and not about the steps that lead you to fall in love. The good thing is that you close a negative chapter of your love life in your recent past, that's why you felt that this time was different, because it really was but you thought you were repeating patterns again when you weren't, you can feel proud of yourself because of this shift in your life. I warn you that this person of your recent past is going to come back with renewed energies but in the meanwhile you need some time for introspection and healing, you just need to attend and fix some things within yourself because things with this person will lead to a safe place because your reading ended with the card of flowers that means happiness, so expect them to come back into your life at any moment. You also need this alone time because your femenine energy is needing some attention and you'll need you mind fully rested because you'll have to solve a financial issue before this person's come back. I see that you'll receive a very good advice from an older woman so listen what she has to say, you'll find out some information that will be usefull in the future and you're guides will tell you that you are in the right path whenever you see numbers 1222, 1212 or 222

Pile 2:

(Cards: 9 of shells, 9 of wings, 6 of shells, queen of roses, 10 of shells, 6 of wings/ Tea leafs: crib, haystack, beetle, cat, fox)

You have someone special in your life right now and things look really nice, maybe this is someone you are currently dating or simply you found out that the person you like likes you back, whatever it is, I see you very happy, even remembering an special event you shared with this person over and over. Ngl, both your person and you look very obssesed with eachother but this doesn't seem to be a problem to none of you, the thing here is that there's someone in your group of friends that is not happy of you finding love, be careful with how you behave with this two-faced friend because you'll reap what you sow, be wise because your approach on this situation could bring you karma, try not to argue. The best thing here is that your reading ended with the best cards possible, so doesn't matter what anybody tries to do to mess with your relationship because everything will be better than great at the end, but you may have to make a movement forward and maybe confess your true feelings, I see here a big romantic gesture and I feel it's you who's being encouraged to do it, you don't have to ask them for marriage but you could write a letter or ask them to go out or anything like that, depending on the situation of whoever is reading this. Whatever you decide to do it will have a very positive impact on your relationship and this will be a reason to take things to the next level, but my dear, don't share your plans with anybody until it's a reality in your life because that friend's energy could delay the positive ressults, good things will come to you anyway but there's no need of delays if you can prevent it by not sharing it. There's no much more to say besides that you'll have a very happy outcome with your person and you'll live a very healthy and fulfillling relationship. Felines will be a sign from spirit to act wisely and be cunning, something magical will happen after you get news about someone expecting a baby, beetles will be an omen of abundance and good fortune.

Pile 3:

(Cards: 2 of gems, 8 of roses, ace of wings rev, high priestess, lovers, 8 of gems rev/ Tea leafs: carriage, sunrise, V, dog, four leaf clover)

Okay, you may felt called to pile 1 too because your readings share a lot of similaities, read it if you feel like to. First of all, you are very aware of what's going on in your love life, you are my spiritual pile in this PAC but for some of you I also see a female that has psychic powers, maybe a witchy or intuitive friend that gives you spiritual guidance. I see that your love life has changed in your recent past and for the majority of you it's something that you've have been actively working on, it has been a conscious change you wanted to make, I'm getting that these changes were majorly focused on the kind of suitors you want to attract. Right now there's no much movement in your love life and you might be thinking that this stagnancy is a defeat, like all your efforts aren't paying off but that's very far from truth because you really have shifted your energy and what you are attracting not just in love, but also in general terms, just in case you needed this info to gain back hope (btw, I'm writting this at 12:12 on my clock). Deep inside of you , you can be intuiively knowing that someone is coming into your life but you don't know who, where or when, trust your gut instinct because that feeling is real, there's someone really close to enter your life but you need to stop looking for them in your daily life, you are being called to trust divine timing and investing in yourself meanwhile your person arrives. Before this meeting happens you'll go through a journey, it can be physical or mental but it's something you'll need to experience an enlightment where you'll be getting creative ideas, thise ideas will be very useful in your near future, especially in regards of a personal goal that you have and really want to achieve, just know that you got 2 of the best tea leafs, the V and the four leaf clover and both mean victory and good fortune so just relax and see how universe works at your favor. Your signs will be horses and dogs, especially black ones, faeries and the air elementals will be important for some reason I can't descipher, also a deceased loved one will make you they are right by showing you white butterflies.

Pile 4:

(Cards: 3 of shells, 9 of wings, 5 of shells rev, princess of wings, queen of roses, the hanged man rev/ vulture, tiger, pail, frying pan, shield)

My dear pile 4, I send you a virtual hug from here and wish you the best with whatever is going on in your life. Things may look crazy right now but keep always in mind that nothing last forever, neither the bad things so, by the moment just keep strong, at some moment things will get better. I see you are interested in someone but it's more like a crush because everything is in the air and there's nothing solid yet between you two, you may met this person through a friend or in a party and may got a little too obsessed with this person without them giving you a sign of reciprocal feelings, so be careful with delusion because you can be using it subconsciously to avoid the hardships of your current reality, I suggest you to check info about limerence, you may find some answers to help this tendency and heal. About this person you like, the cards invite you to be bold and make a movement forward, to take the lead of the situation, maybe text them or have a conversation the next time you see them, whatever you think it's more appropiate. The only warning here is that you may not be totally prepared to be in a relationship at the moment, or at least not fully receptive to everything that involves a commitment with someone else, before, you should maybe take some time for healing and balancing your life, you could enjoy fully this connection if the other areas of your life are more peaceful but that doesn't mean that you can't meet this person and know more about them, it would just involve taking things slower. I don't want to ruin your hopes and even less with this person because you could totally have a happy relationship together, what I mean is that maybe it's not the right moment to invest that much energy in a relationship when you are needing those energies so much, mostly for those of you who suffer from abandonment issues. Also, you'll be facing a challenging situation where you will have to defend yourself from someone's accusations, it will cause you some anxiety so I suggest you to go to nature to cleanse your energies when this happens, I'm getting that this is something you have could prevented if you listened to your intuition because you've been having a bad feeling with the person that is going to turn against you, just be brave and don't fear defending yourself with everything you have. By the moment take things with patience, try to approach the person you like but don't force anything or put your expectations too high, simply enjoy the good things and face the challenges one by one as they appear, you'll get out of this situation stronger and very proud of yourself, and maybe even with a boyfriend. For you, the only thing your guides are telling me is that they are there to help you whenever you need it, just communicate with them and they'll be quick to answer.

Pile 5:

(Cards: prince of roses, prince of gems, hanged man, moon rev, chariot, king of roses/ Tea leafs: door, yoke, man, whale, ring)

Omg pile 5, you have met your divine counterpart! I'm really happy for you my dear🥹🫶. This pile is for people who are already dealing with someone, so if it's not your case I suggest you to check the other piles. I see that you love eachother, there are a lot of feelings here but both of you have a very similar temper and your respective attitudes are getting in the way, you both are very stubborn and prideful but it's because of your experiences in love in your pasts, you both are scared of being hurt and this facade of pride is just a defense mechanism to protect your hearts, there's a lot of fear to be vulnerable here. You really like this person and just know that your feelings are reciprocal but the thing here is that you both have tough shells, I see you taking some distance or setting boundaries with this person because this situation is making you feel frustrated, so you may decide to simply move on hoping that they go after you. The good thing is that your person will find the will and courage to give an step forward and tell you to take things to the next level, they'll realize how much they crave you when you make them miss you a little, you got the ring on the tea leafs so for some of you there will be a proporsal too, for the rest I see a genuine love conffesion from your person. You'll find a beautiful door or entrance, when you see it shortly after you'll get food news about an oportunity or windfall, whales will be omens of staying grounded because there's nothing to worry about, you'll find a ring or someone ca gift you a piece of jewelry, wear it because it can work as a protective amulet, 7 will be your lucky number.

Pile 6:

(Cards: 8 of gems, magician, 9 of roses rev, 2 of shells, empress rev, king of gems/ Tea leafs: axe, flowers, casket, mountain, arrow)

Whatever you are living in your love life, it's time to release it and purify the energies, you've been working and investing a lot of energy into making something work with an soecific person but I'm sorry to tell you that is not going to end up as you'd like to. You'll be receiving news from someone you are interested in but you'll have to discern if this is the kind of relationship you want for yourself, this person of interest seems very hot and cold, with the empress reversed I feel like their attitude causes you to doubt yourself, even if they don't openly criticize you or anything like that, their behavior may be making you feel like you are not enough for them. You are being called to take a realistic look over the situation, if you feel like you are constantly fighting to keep this relationship going and you are the only one making the effort, the best thing you can do for your own wellbeing is to leave them and open up to someone else who is willing to make the same sacrifices for you that you would do for them. Even if it's a challenge for you, sometimes loving someone can't be the only reason to stay in a relationship and even less when the relationship is draining or painful. In the end I see you leaving and moving on because the casket on the tea leaf say that someone will be going out of your life, the good thing here is that the arrow is an omen of being on the right path, remember this whenever you see one. At the end of the day you'll be happy because you know your worth and how to invest on yourself, and everytime you let the old go you open up to new opportunities and people who resonates with your vibration, you will be opening the path for your soulmate too. You'll see the card of the magician somewhere and right after something special will manifest in your life, you'll find a beautiful jar and your guides encourage you to make a self love spell with it, wearing colors white and purple will help your intuition, bats will announce you a rebirth.