#international laughingstock

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

ive had this in my brain for like. two weeks. What If....

[eddiesxangel]

The Kissing Booth | E.M x G!N!Reader

Cw: flufffffff, mild angst on Eddie’s part. Smooching. Reader wears lipgloss. No use of pronouns.

Wc 1.4K

Eddie could not believe this was happening to him.

“Nope, nope, no way, man. Over my dead body-“

“What my boy means is he is grateful he is not being suspended and will graciously accept his punishment of volunteering at the school fair.” Wayne looks at his nephew with a glare in his eyes that Eddie hasn’t seen in a very long time.

“Great, then it’s settled,” Ms. Laughlin, the guidance councillor, smiles.

It was happening. Eddie was being served the most gruesome punishment, and all because he skipped P.E. of all classes.

Eddie Munson was being forced not only to participate in the school fair but to work the kissing booth, of all things.

How on earth would he survive this? Not only would he be the laughingstock of the school, but he would also have to endure the absolute embarrassment of having no one come up to his booth, and he would also have to be forced to participate in extracurricular activities.

“Just wait until Hellfire hears about this boy,” Wayne laughs as he drives him and Eddie back to the trailer.

All Eddie could do was roll his eyes; he could never show his face again.

“You’re not going to believe the rumour I heard today.” Nancy looks at you from over her shoulder. She is sat at your vanity.

“What?” You asked, intrigued, as you got dressed and got ready for tonight’s festivities.

“A little birdy told me that a certain someone is working the kissing booth tonight.” She smirks.

“Who?” You challenge her back.

“Who, what?” Robin walks into the bedroom from the bathroom.

“Nancy knows who is working one of the kissing booths tonight, but who’s telling me” you pout.

“Ohhhhhhhh,” Robin smirks knowingly.

“Oh, not you, too! Come on, who is it!”

Robin and Nancy give one another a nod of the head before Nancy speaks.

“Eddie Munson.”

“Ha ha, very funny; you think I’m going to believe that? How gullible do you think I am?” You snort.

“No, it’s true! Shelly from the student council told me when we were working on the student paper! Instead of detention, this is his punishment, to help out at the fair tonight.” She wiggled her brows at you suggestively.

“Who else’s working it?” You try and ask casually.

Your friends knew about your crush on Eddie. It had been about a month since you confessed to one of your late-night sleepovers.

“Um, I’m not too sure what other guy, but I think Chrissy is working the girl's booth. Nancy shrugged.

“Cool…cool…” you turned to the closet, now faced with a sense of anxiety to find the perfect top.

Eddie was actually dying on the inside. Ten minutes until his “shift” at the booth, and he wanted to book it.

Running away would solve his problems, right? He would much rather be suspended than have to endure this humiliation. This was a cruel and unusual punishment.

He watched from the sidelines as Josh was at the booth currently. He was the senior star quarterback on the football team. Everyone wanted him. He could just see now the long line disbursing once he stood there.

"Hey man, you're up next in 5." Eddie was snapped out of his internal monologue when he felt a hand resting on his shoulder. He wasn't sure how long he had been there stewing with his own thoughts. "Don't worry, it's not all bad. Some customers are cute," Josh smirks.

Oh god. What if he actually had to kiss someone tonight? He hadn’t thought of that option. Like, what if some actually came up? What would he do? Are they expecting tongue?

“You have some gum or something?” He asked quickly before Josh left.

He smirked and tossed him a pack of icy mint.

“Thanks.”

Eddie peaked around the corner to where the booth was set up. The fair was set up on the school football field. There was a small sign that said be back in 5 and no lineup to be seen.

That made Eddie feel a bit better; no one was there. That took some humility out of it.

Before Eddie could back out and run, he felt another hard hand on his shoulder.

“Come on, Munson, your time to shine.” Jeff and Gareth practically dragged Eddie to the booth, kicking and screaming.

“You’re the worst friends ever,” Eddie huffed as they backed away from the booth. Watching him so he won’t run away.

“You can't serve the time and shouldn’t do the crime.” Jeff laughed.

“That’s not-“ Eddie was cut off mid-sentence as he saw Robin and Nancy pushing you towards the booth just like he had been moments ago.

“Don’t make me do this,” you plead with your best friends.

“You have to do it,” “It’s now or never,” “He’s right there. Just have him your ticket and pucker your lisp. It’s not that hard,” Robin and Nancy whispered in your ear as they dragged you towards Eddie.

“You guys, please, I can’t!” You say a bit too loudly as you fight back your friends from pushing you up to the booth.

You can see the look on Eddie’s face as you are pushed up the step of the booth. He looks disappointed? Disgusted? You’re not too sure.

You let out an embarrassing squeal as you stumbled in front of Eddie. “Um hi”

Despite not being well-acquainted with Eddie, you couldn't help but notice him whenever he walked by. You only exchanged a few words in passing and learned about him through your friends. Although you never had the opportunity to spend time together, you found him to be irresistibly charming and incredibly good-looking. Whenever you caught a glimpse of him in the cafeteria, he never failed to bring a smile to your face with his silly antics and infectious laughter.

“Uh hey,” he spoke back, clearly uncomfortable.

“Busy night for you?” You ask, trying to delay the inevitable.

“Uh nope.”

“Good,” you smile; the thought of Eddie kissing anyone else made you want to vomit.

“Good?” He cocks a brow at you. “The thought of nobody wanting to come up to the freak of Hawkins High is good to you?”

“Oh I didn’t mean it like-“

“Why are you even here?”

“Oh- well- I um-"

“No, I get it. You’re just here on a dare, or you lost the bet, right? I really thought better of Nancy and Robin; I thought they were my friends… You know I heard you say you can’t do this. I understand the thought of kissing me is so terrible that-“

You couldn't help but cut off Eddei from his intrusive thoughts. You held his face with both hands and smushed your lips together. The thought of Eddie thinking that about you was far worse than the fear of kissing him.

It wasn't everything you had dreamed of. However, the kiss was still nice. You felt the eruption of butterflies fill your stomach as Eddie deepened this kiss himself. You kissed him until you could no longer breathe. Only then is when you pull away.

“Woah”

“I hope that was okay.” You shy away.

“Yeah.” Eddie sighed as he took you in.

As he gazed upon you, he was struck by how pretty you were, which he had overlooked until now. The sweet aroma of strawberries wafted from you as the strawberry lipgloss lingered on his lips, just below his nose.

“Um, here,” you jut out your hand with the crinkled ticket you hadn't yet paid with.

“Oh no, no, the house,” Eddie said without thinking and that made you giggle.

“Well, I really only bought a ticket for this, so I might as well cash it in.” you flirt.

“Ok, yeah, sure. Two for one.” Eddie took the ticket from your hand and brought it back to cup your cheek before kissing you again.

You could hear the giggles and cheers of your friends from behind you in the distance, but your main focus was on Eddie. His soft, plush lips. His minty taste, the way his soft hair tickled your cheeks.

“Ok, lovebirds, that’s enough.” the supervising teacher returned with an unimpressed huff.

You begrudgingly pulled away, but with a smile nonetheless.

“Can I get your number?” Eddie’s mouth was moving before his brain could catch up.

“Come find us later, lover boy.” Robin giggled while snatching your arm and pulled you away before you could answer.

“Dude!” Gareth clapped his hands, having witnessed the whole thing.

“Maybe we should sign up for this,” Jeff laughed. A little jealous of what he just witnessed.

After you, Eddie didn’t care if he got another customer for the rest of the night. Maybe this whole kissing booth thing wasn’t too bad after all.

[g1rlken]

┏ 𝐅𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐌𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐬 ┐

part3.

Alex turner x fem!actress reader

an: this part gives slightly “the Peter” by Taylor Swift vibes

word count: 3.6k+

Warnings: mention of depression

-

It was difficult to keep on going on your whim, time and time again looking for reasons to belittle or make it difficult for y/n to work on this project. She absolutely regretted come to this godawful grassland for the world’s pettiest man’s song. Not that he hadn’t moved on, y/n would see him: hand around shoulder, slipping down the waist as he’d laugh with one of those model stand ins. Every meal. The common dining area of the hotel they stayed at, Alex was the charming machine to all these lady guests of his. She couldn’t keep on distracting herself talking to the rest of crew, small talk was fine and longer conversations were embarrassing. She felt ambushed talking about her acting hiatus because the general narrative was that she got way too into her own head, she probably did but what business was that to the intern Sam who was a disguised coffee guy. She kept on telling herself and everyone else that the ‘whole thing’ wasn’t a ‘big deal’ but god forbid someone mentions an award function, her tone would immediately get guarded as if she was being tested. As if she was on that stage again being a laughingstock. Too much. She didn’t talk at all, hence decided to order room service for almost all her meals.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Y/n exclaimed slumping her shoulders down. There was a rain forecast on their original location so they changed production to a planned cliff, second day of the same shoot and the municipality shut down entry to the place because of supposed lightning forecast. It was taking forever to finish this godforsaken music video.

“They said they’re closing it for a week.” Richard informed her with a sigh, bummed out himself. Too much time on production as it is, getting to a peculiar location as such. From the centre to outskirts through the hilly roads it was already such a hustle only to find the place shut down. “The studio said we might as well extend a while for the location since we came all this way.”

The whole crew was growing increasingly restless on this project, no more than y/n and no less than Alex who was apparently enjoying the sights. A smirk on his face, clicking a picture of the no entry sign for the joke of it, snickering as he did so. It just fuelled her annoyance. “Cant we just shoot here? We drove four hours to come here!” Y/n proposed pointing to the open grass landscape, the whole place was just gigantic dunes of grass and grey skies. The first two days of shoot, it was beautiful. With more and more delays it was the most daft place ever.

“We have done the landscape part we need a cliff shot now…” Richard trailed off with a sigh, “Look, guys, let’s stay positive yeah? We can maybe find a new location”

“We can’t, they close the roads by sundown remember? It’s already 2, I don’t think we can make it.” Alex added into the conversation, his tone was laced with amusement so bad it made y/n infuriated but she didn’t say a word given he was a master of creating a scene. Absolute zero fellowship in him, he was enjoying everyone else’s suffering coming all this way just to spite her.

“Don’t we have a pass for it? With the shooting permit?” Y/n inquired about it, such remote locations generally allow access to a shooting team on permit.

“Guess who forgot it at the hotel?” Giving a disappointed look to Sam, the coffee guy/intern.

Deadpanning her face y/n rubbed her eyes, taking in a deep breath. Disappointment clouded her problem solving abilities “Don’t we have any cliff other equivalent location in this stupid place?” She said with a scoff. Every place looked identical anyways.

“What a great idea!” Alex exclaimed ironically joining his hands together, his classic taunting was about to follow “How about we find her a park bench, will that be cliff equivalent for you?”

It had already been a lot of days of this mockery and a miserable time here. At hotel, the locations, failed shoots, his constant jabs were resulting in a lot of piled agitation. “Shut the fuck up.” She said blatantly.

Richard widened his eyes as did the crew, they were busy in finding network to make the maps work and Google nearest new locations but this was rather difficult to not be moved by, Alex too, “excuse me?” he was taken aback to say at least. Raising a brow he leant forward as to express his offended demeanour.

“The whole crew is really tired, we all woke at 4 am. Packing, equipment, dress, make up-to drive all the way here only to not shoot. If you can’t contribute stop irritating people who are actually working.” She told him off crossing her arms, shifting her weight on one leg.

“Is that so? What are you doing except for whining?” Alex said with a bitter laugh.

“This is stupid” she shook her head, instantly deciding to not engage anymore given she was here for work not engage in petty conversation with him besides in front of the whole crew it was anyways unprofessional. “You’re unreasonable” she waved her hand in mid air, crossing her arms as she was turning away.

“You haven’t changed a bit. Go on go leave, you’ve never had it in yourself to stay when things get difficult.” Alex scoffed, absolutely unfiltered in front of the whole crew perhaps purposely harsh.

“Alex, I’m being professional here you don’t have to go that far.” She replied with a frown on her face, surface level comprehension of his words which she knew would hurt so much, they already were but she wanted to be removed from this conversation before he made matters worse.

“Oh you’re being professional now?” To him, anything to do with her wasn’t professional. For exaggeration, if she even breathed in his direction he was agitated. Just a huge grudge to not see beyond professionalism. “Such a professional in everything you messed up your most serious two year long relationship.”

“I know it wasn’t mutual and I regret you were hurt but this isn’t the place to have that conversation now-“ she tried to reason with him in a subtle way, instead of biting back like him she could’ve approached with bitterness of how it’s been half a year since they parted, how he was seemingly moving on yet constantly berating her for leaving.

“You don’t get to decide where and when we have this conversation? You’ve already decided enough for me.” He said mockingly, his gaze fixated on her as he stared her down. He wasn’t aware for the root of his hurt and anger, originally he knew it was because she left him yes. But other than that, the fact that she felt like just waltzing back into his life through small talk or the fact that she didn’t waltz back into his life. It was the later. She decided to break up without of a second thought because she deemed it right for him, thinking she was a burden. She decided to leave for him and all he wanted was her. Back then and even now he didn’t know what he was trying to prove to her but it was surely drifting her father from him and he didn’t know how to stop that so he just let his anger out, “Tell me, is it better now? You learned to cook did you? You take your own meds on time…if you actually do? You attend all possible award shows you’re nominated in?” He scoffed, reminding her all such things he was helping her through and she refused him. He couldn’t stomach that she wanted to heal without him and it was a rather low blow when he mentioned the award show thing, she didn’t attend award shows at all even now. He kept tabs even after the break up because It brought him a sort of reassurance that she wasn’t completely alright, not without him. He loved her so infatuatedly he didn’t know how to act.

Y/n was sick to her stomach as he went on and on, in front of everyone just spewing out her personal miseries. “You don’t get to play the martyr just because I didn’t want your help.” To think that man that once hand fed her all which he cooked, with so much love, the man who set alarms to remind her for her medicines and the award show thing. He knew it was and still is a sensitive subject for her, he put her in the exact same situation like back up at that stage again. Right now amongst the camera crew, it was just a handful of people and y/n felt increasingly uncomfortable yet he didn’t stop talking.

“I’m not playing the martyr but I didn’t asked to get left either.” He said emphasising on the word ‘didn’t’ right back at her. He wouldn’t say it but this whole lashing out was not because she didn’t want his help but because she didn’t want him and that still word.

“It’s been…” she paused, “six months.” It was really hard to see him say all that so easily and she could barely formulate words trying to fight back tears simultaneously. Just how could he show indifference so such extent.

“I’m aware.” He scoffed changing his stance looking away for one second, contemplating if he should go on because he did take a not of her quivering voice she always did that when she was about to cry, he could recall from their time together and that reminder just fuelled him even more. He knew her like the back of his hand back then, even now, yet she walked way. “You were scared I’d leave you if I got to know you were depressed but when I chose to stay you were even more scared and left me. It is so difficult to love let alone work with you!”

“Work, yes of course” she nodded slowly registering the hurt of his words bit by bit because he was going further from far. “I’m going to go revise…” she told Richard, rest of the crew as well. All who’d been witnessing this conflict awkwardly and painfully silently. Y/n couldn’t look at anyone’s faces as she walked back to the trailer, it was a bus in itself because the whole crew travelled together but if the universe had any ounce of mercy left for her nobody would join her this very moment. Her ears were numb to the silent background, she thought Alex would have the last word surely but he didn’t. She walked the longest walk back to the trailer, closing the door behind her. There was a heavy feeling in her chest, the mechanical setting of sadness. Her heart racing, mind replaying the whole ordeal. Every word, everyone’s surprised faces. She wanted to break down, tears already brimmed her eyes but then again if they were to resume shooting on a new location the very same day her eyes would be so puffy and displaying that to the makeup crew. After everything they witnessed, absolutely not. She paced back and forth air drying her tears, trying to divert her mind. She did. She thought about the dreadful night of their breakup again, she must’ve put Alex in this very situation back then. His pleading, begging voice. The man who was on his knees for her who wanted her to do anything but leave, just how right now she wanted him to do anything but keep talking. But well, both things happened and the later was the consequence of the first one. She had nobody but herself to blame and the inherent guilt crept right back in.

-

Thankfully, there was no resumed shooting later that day given the rain check was really bad to commute to another location as well so the crew all returned back to the hotel. Four hours, just staring out the window. Fixated completely y/n didn’t even look at anyone the entire ride and nobody approached her even. Straight into her room at the hotel, for dinner she ordered just room service. After an awaited long breakdown in her room she couldn’t go down and have dinner with the rest of them, the breakdown session was as it is evident on her face plus everything was so awkward after the whole ordeal. Everyone looked at her with agitating sympathy, as if her dog had passed.

She opened the door to “Room service!” knock, taking the food in, not exactly meeting the eyes somewhat hiding her face as if she was some alleyway dealer. “Thanks.”

“Miss y/l/n, I’m really sorry for what you’re going through.” The room service guy told her out of courtesy and also genuine compassion.

“What?” She was immediately confused, what exactly was he referring to?

“The whole…your ex-I was there.” He explained, not sure how exactly to term Alex lashing out on her in front of everyone. But he wanted her to know his sympathies lay with her “I was assigned by the hotel to the filming crew as a local here” he said referring to why exactly he was there in the first place.

“Oh.” Y/n nodded, wonderful. This whole interaction had the same feeling of a funeral when someone explains how they’re related to the person in subject however in this case y/n was full well alive. “Yeah…thanks. Thanks a lot.”

“For the record, I’ve seen almost all of your movies and I have loved you in every single one of them and your order is the most easiest order to make. So you’re not difficult to love or work with I’ll have you know.” He tried to be hospitable and also as a fan, he felt really bad for the actress in question. His heart was there, trying to offer kind words but it just made y/n feel ambushed.

“That’s-that’s really sweet.” She nodded with a small smile regardless. What a time! Even absolute strangers feel sympathetic to her and Alex who-no. “It means a lot…”

“Always. If you need anything, the restaurant is open till 11.” He said politely and pushed out the empty cart out of her room and bid her goodnight.

Just as she was about to close the door as the cart moved out, a foot stepped in the middle refraining her from closing it completely so she opened it instead to see who it was. “Hi.” Alex said as he tilted his head forward, he didn’t think she’d actually open the door to him.

Y/n just took a deep breath, visibly raising her guard she did not have anything to say him at this point and she couldn’t believe he had something more to say. She just stood there, trying to appear stiff but with just the first glance he could tell she had been crying. Crying really bad. He wanted to apologise, after a lot of thinking over the words shared he felt like he crossed a line. Especially with what he said, he said in front of everyone. He messed up. Apologies came cheap, he didn’t know what to say. “The shots from yesterday came in, it’s good. It’s great. Beautiful-you were beautiful.”

Tears were already formulating her eyes, just at the sight of him. The casualty of his tone after what he did, she wanted the slam the door in his face so that’s what she attempted too. Slowly closing the door but he stopped her again, “please, can we talk”

“Just go…” she sighed averting her gaze from him so he wouldn’t get the satisfaction of seeing her cry. He leant a bit lower to see her face, conforming the tears she was trying to hide. He wanted to reach out and hold her but he was just out here in the lobby. He experimented professing further and she did let him inside, dejectedly moving aside y/n just didn’t want to see his face anymore.

Getting inside Alex softly closed the door behind him, anxiously she was pacing back and forth. He once made fun of her, he called this method of hers “air-drying tears, love?” he asked. She did not want him here in the first place so he didn’t breach that boundary, stopping by the small of hallway to her hotel room a few steps by the door.

“Why are you even here?” She asked firmly as she had been successful to air dry her tears back. It wasn’t pride, maybe on the prideful spectrum but she would not cry in front of him even though it hurt like hell.

“I know I can’t make things right after what I said today, I shouldn’t have said that. Especially not in front of everyone like that-you, you were at work.” He said in a calm tone leaning against the wall, “I’m sorry…I’m really sorry.”

“Okay.” She nodded without even looking at him, barely acknowledging his words because she was fixated on not breaking down at this very second.

“That’s it?” He asked, not frustrated just underwhelmed that his genuine apology accounted for so much less? “Okay?” He couldn’t tell if she was okay with it in a true sense or if she was being passive aggressively ignorant about it.

“What do you want me to say?” Y/n asked scrunching her brows as she crossed her arms.

“We are not at the best terms, I know. We both messed up, you were trying to be civil. Today I crossed a big line, I know. I really want to just make things right-“

“Then why don’t you just leave?!” She stopped his self serving closure set apology mid way, “You are here in the first place just to spite me aren’t you? To give me a hard time and so far Alex, you have been very successful-“ she was so angry, she couldn’t hold her her tears anymore as they streamed down her face breaking her voice.

“Hey, hey” he cooed softly as he approached her in small steps. Ever since he saw her face, evidence of a long breakdown on it he had wanted to just pull her into his embrace. Now she was crying again and he couldn’t fight the urge as he gently placed his hands on her shoulder to soothe her.

The familiarity of his touch, his consolation punched y/n back to the good years just him and her and they rarely had these moments where she would be falling apart but she knew that if she did, he’d be there. Just like how he was here. But this time it wasn’t healthy, this wasn’t right even if it felt so. She pulled herself away from him shaking her head as she sat on the bed of her hotel room crying into her hands.

Hesitantly he followed her, this was all so instinctive. “Y/n…” he trailed off as he knelt in front of her as she sat on the edge of the bed. She had covered her face with her hands so he tried to gently remove them as to see her face. “It’s alright, you’re alright.” He soothed as he finally got to see her weeping face. He kept on wiping her tears as new flew down her face. “You are so much stronger than this, you’ve been okay before. You’ll be okay again, just breathe.” This is what he was perfect at, piecing her back together. She held the colour only his paint brush knew.

This scenario was almost like an extremely long déjà vu, this exact scenario y/n had been here so many times. Him comforting her, so willingly and so warm. As if it was worth being this hurt, she couldn’t get words out through her crying, that perfectly but she didn’t have to for he already knew. To be loved is to be known and he knew her like she was the last thing he’d ever know, the last he’d learn. “Can I hold you?” He asked softly, eyes expectant for a yes.

Nodding she hesitantly met his eyes and she recognised Alex for Alex. After so long, she didn’t think about anything else but the familiarity of the lover she once held. The one who was holding her now. He stood up and sat beside holding her, enlacing his arms around her. A warm embrace shielding her from an awful time he inflicted on her.

She returned his embrace as well, his hand rubbing her back in a repetitive motion her weeping dying down but he didn’t let go. He didn’t want to.

Alex nestled her closer to him, words unsaid and a vague understanding. Neither of them broke the cocoon of warmth. It almost felt like a fever dream to y/n, she wasn’t aware of any reality she’d let herself be in this situation in. But here she was. Slowly drifting off to sleep in his arms. He could tell she was, he settled the two of them in a lay-down position on the bed. He didn’t think she could fall asleep and he also didn’t want to move. With her small grip at his shirt with the two of them cuddling he figured she wouldn’t want him to leave either.

He planned to leave silently once she was sound asleep, as time went on he didn’t realise when he drifted off to sleep too. Just holding her in his arms, cuddling the two of them slept on their grievances entangled with one another.

—

HIII!!! I’ve got like two more chapters left to this pls let me know what you think or I will d!3 and don’t forget to drink water xx

@indierockgirrl @turnersverse @ladydraculasthings @libertyybellls @kelizai @sagegreensimmr @supernaturalandpain

[pluckyredhead]

for the ask meme: Garth/Koryak + no capes AU?

Ooh this is a fascinating prompt because I don't know how you translate Arthur's...everything...to no capes. Is he royalty but not of an underwater kingdom and no one has superpowers? Is he an Olympic swimmer? Is he "royalty" in the sense that he's super rich or famous? Is he just like...a fisherman?

I think I would go with a modern royalty AU where Arthur is already way more internationally famous than most royalty of tiny coastal European kingdoms are because Atlanna eloped with a commoner (possibly - gasp! - an American) and it's all very dramatic, and that's before you get into whatever the deal would be with Orm in this universe.

And then the scandal and drama continues as Arthur 1) discovers the lost, orphaned child of one of his dukes or something and adopts him, 2) gets married to a princess of another tiny coastal kingdom in THE royal wedding of all time, 3) tragically loses his infant heir in a tragic kidnapping that is like the only international news for days, 4) publicly separates from Meta, 5) starts dating a woman half his age, 6) holy shit now she's dating his not-son??? Atlantean royal gossip is AMAZING. The paparazzi can barely keep up. And that's before some random American (another one!) comes forward and says that King Arthur of Atlantis is his father, and the DNA tests confirm it.

So you have Garth, who has been shoved into a spotlight he never wanted since he was eight years old, hounded by the paparazzi, featured in teen magazines' "11 Cutest Princes" articles and whatnot, always very conscious of his extremely tenuous relationship with Arthur's family. And since he and Arthur reconciled after however the Aquababy thing went down here, Arthur has been trying to find a way to legitimize Garth as his heir.

And you have Koryak, who grew up ostracized, broke, always on the outside, who was going through his mother's belongings after she died and realized that he is a fucking prince who could have been living in a fucking palace all this time, and he is going to get what is owed him, and he doesn't care who doesn't like it.

And meanwhile Arthur's advisors are like "This is Too Much Drama, we are an international laughingstock and Parliament is on the cusp of either making Orm king instead or just dissolving the monarchy entirely (can they do that? whatever)." So Arthur is like "Look, I will admit I have absolutely no idea what to do about this whole...situation, but in the meantime, you two had better look like you're getting along or we're all fucked."

Which leads to 30k of forced proximity, enemies-to-lovers, no capes modern royalty AU featuring scandalous paparazzi photos of Garth and Koryak angrily making out in, like, Atlan's extremely solemn memorial garden or somewhere else equally inappropriate.

[celticcrossanon]

LOL. Even British news anchors can't stop laughing while trying to report with a straight face that Harry and Meghan are traveling to Columbia. No one is taking these two jokers' claims seriously that the UK is more dangerous than Columbia or Nigeria or Jamaica or any other country Harry and Meghan plan to go to where there are travel advisory warnings about kidnappings and civil unrest and whatnot. I feel sorry for KC3 that he has a son who is an international embarrassment and laughingstock.

Hi Nonny,

Harry and Meghan have made themselves into jokes and laughingstocks and that is on them. I feel sorry for anyone who had to interact with Harry (and Meghan) when they were working royals, both family and employees. Can you imagine what they would have been like behind closed doors if this is how they act in public?

[qqueenofhades]

Like I’m not even sorry for the Charles thing, nothing will probably happen they have access to top notch technology and medicine. They’re all bad people, and honestly f*** the monarchy all over the world, they live off peoples taxes, you know the actual people that works and needs to money to survive and still struggle, let’s not even put an illness in there because it’s unaffordable for most people to have medical attention. And these people don’t even lift a finger and have all the money to spill in their depravities and when they get sick they expect the whole world to be worried for them, when they don’t even know the value of money, much less work and effort. Nah I don’t give a damn to what happens to them, but like they’ve been saying funerals and coronations are not something the citizens can afford

I mean, all this might be very true... but have we considered that after living a life of outrageous unearned wealth and privilege accumulated by generations of imperialism and conquest, it's NoT fAir that Charles got cancer after "waiting for so long!!!":

Actually a headline run in the country that is quickly becoming a third-world failed state and international laughingstock, where £30k a year is considered a top salary and still won't allow you to sponsor a foreign-born partner for a visa. The UK press (and this is even from the Mirror, which is downright "liberal" as far as British tabloids go) truly is something else.

[otdiaftg]

It'd been almost seven months since the Foxes and Ravens last faced each other on the court, and it didn't take the Ravens long to realize they are facing an entirely different team.

Last fall the Foxes wrote the game off as a sure loss before they even stepped on the court. They'd played the Ravens because they had to but they looked past it to the hope of spring championships. Tonight, buoyed by determination and half-drunk on desperation, the Foxes have the strongest start they've had all year. The Foxes are fierce, but the Ravens are angry. Neil can feel it like poison on the court, a bad vibe that sets every survival instinct hissing. The laughingstock of the NCAA should not have made it this far or cost them this much. They'd lost Jean, suffered a thorough internal investigation, and put up with Riko's violent grief in the wake of his father's death. Their fans' attack on Palmetto State and Kevin's veiled accusations had brought a lot of bad press down on them. There are rumors Edgar Allan wants to close the Nest and reintegrate the team with the rest of campus for their own psychological safety. Now Kevin shows up on their court with a sneer and a new tattoo, and the Foxes rush them like they have no doubts they'll win. The Foxes aren't the same team, but neither are the Ravens. They hadn't taken the Foxes seriously last fall. Now they have to, and they don't pull any punches.

Day: Friday, April 26th / 27th* Time: 8:05 PM EST

*Due to the Leap Year, I have opted to highlight the day rather than the date to keep the events in occurrence to the 2007 year. I will continue to mark both days accordingly.

[saintmeghanmarkle]

Blowing Raspberries by u/Apprehensive-Year513

Blowing Raspberries Jealousy is a green eyed monster over which one eats their own heart out. The Princess of Wales is obviously a big provocation for Meghan Markle. The jealousy she has for the next Queen is palpable, on full display. In 2020, Catherine had to celebrate her birthday with the news of Harry and Meghan "stepping back" from their royal roles. In 2023, Harry's fictional autobiography was released around her birthday. It's a well observed pattern that this couple cannot handle the Royal Family being in the headlines. They are predictable. This is a farce and a sham. It is sad that a woman in her forties is so threatened by another, resorts to grade school tactics. For all her speeches about feminism, she has no feminism for women she is envious of. Catherine committed the great sin of not wanting to be her worshipping best friend thus she must perpetually suffer the consequences. She has a functional husband, who is her equal and clearly is still smitten with her. Her children and family are absolutely besotted with her. She has a purpose and role in this world as well as the captivation of the international stage. She has everything Meghan doesn't have. She is everything Meghan is not and will never be. Meghan isn't fooling anyone except her cabal of toxic sycophants. Catherine bravely shares her health story along with the announcement of her attendance at Trooping the Colour. This was on the back of a relentless storm of bullying of where she in fact was, when anyone paying attention knew where she was; at home recovering from health issues. In an unsurprising fashion, more of Meghan's jam just happens to make an appearance. Raspberry jam from a business that has no products to sell, a business with the worst launch model imaginable. Jam can be purchased to support a local business not line Meghan’s greedy pockets. Meghan isn't seen for weeks and it's just another day. Catherine goes on medical leave and the press collectively loses their minds. Meghan has to be the pettiest woman in media. She also is without subtlety. To target a woman battling cancer is beyond the pale. She has no shame. Harry, who once had a close, warm relationship with Catherine lets his wife demean the sister he never had. They have thrown all benefit of the doubt out the window. This couple deserves each other. People don't support Catherine because they think she's perfect or above reproach. Catherine is appreciated for her dignity and steadfastness. She has an elegance for young girls to emulate, which Meghan lacks. Meghan complained the media was pitting the two women against each other when she is the biggest culprit of such. Many more plates have to be smashed to compensate that she will never have the love of the people. A problem she set in motion herself. At every opportunity, she blew it. In the old Vaudeville shows, a hook extended from off stage to pull away a bad performer. The world is laughing at this couple. They aren't respected or inspirational. They are mocked around the world. They have literally turned into tabloid parodies of themselves. Which is humorous given they take themselves so seriously as world leaders. They will never be in on the joke because they are the joke they have made themselves out to be. Laughingstocks green with envy. post link: https://ift.tt/NevL85x author: Apprehensive-Year513 submitted: June 16, 2024 at 04:51PM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit disclaimer: all views + opinions expressed by the author of this post, as well as any comments and reblogs, are solely the author's own; they do not necessarily reflect the views of the administrator of this Tumblr blog. For entertainment only.

[blessed-velleity]

perfect

so remember that shitpost about a hole being punched in the wall? this one? yeah, well. hmm. RIOFY yuhua is a piece of work because there's so many yuus

[warnings: internalized transphobia for a second but otherwise it's just typical yuhua self-hatred]

~

You’re not perfect.

This is a fact. One you’ve been painfully aware of for far too long.

Every single comment ever made about you has been logged in your mind, most compliments forgotten and every insult or slight retained. When you mess up, when you hear someone say something about you, it becomes an obsession. Like a single drop of dye falling into water, something that everyone else will forget about in an instant becomes a fixation that spreads through you like poison. 

Every obsession in that fashion ultimately comes down to this one fact.

After all, you’re pretty weak and pathetic. Your stamina and physical strength is laughable. You’re slow on the uptake. You’re not good at making and keeping friends. You’re clumsy and butterfingered. You get anxious over stupid things easily, and you can’t look people in the eyes when you talk. You have no viable talents. You’re ugly, your proportions are all messed up, and some days you don’t want to go out because you can’t bear the thought of living with your own face. With your own body. Hell, you’re not even a guy like you claim to be.

You don’t have anything that makes you special. If you do, it’s something that makes you the circus act—the laughingstock, the one getting booed off the stage. 

…So why? Why did you have to end up with… all of these other people? 

Everyone is so much more unique than you. So much more vibrant. So much kinder, or dedicated, or capable, or confident, or good-looking, or talented. They’re all something, compared to your nothing. You’re all from worlds that aren’t this one, but they’re all so much more than you could ever hope to be. So much closer to “perfect.” Even the ones who are just from Earth, even the ones who are the same species as you.

It doesn’t sit quite right with you, to be lumped together with everyone else. If you had to make it an analogy more digestible for your own incoherent thoughts, it would be like putting a useless NPC with the cast of main characters. 

You simply aren’t good enough to belong. 

But the feeling is so strong that it overflows into your thoughts about others. It’s exhausting trying to get along with these “perfect,” “better” people. You’re bitter about being so obviously inferior and you hate the fact that you are. If you have to put up with another day of pretending to like people you don’t, you think you might just lose your mind and quit.

(You won’t. You won’t, and you know it.)

But you’re so tired of this. It would be so nice, to let loose. To be able to tell someone that you hate them. That you’re praying for their downfall. Except—that’s not quite right, and that’s not the “nice” or “situationally correct” thing to do. Besides, it won’t do anything to them. Everyone has friends and supporters, people who would choose them over you in a heartbeat.

They won’t lose anything. You will. Because they’re “perfect,” and you’re not. 

The thought of it pisses you off. 

What can you do about it, though? When you hold this anger in your chest, so hot it runs cold, do you really think you can let it out? Will you simply cry it out futilely, like a child? Or—

Without thinking, your body moves of its own accord. The aged wall gives way under your fist, crumpling and cracking around the edges. Classic Ramshackle dust attacks your senses as you retract your hand. The pain waits to set in, and then your knuckles sting. The joints of your fingers complain from being clenched so tightly.

Sure, it hurts. But it feels good, at least for a moment—to hurt something, to break something, because everyone else feels so untouchable and invulnerable. 

And then the “moment” wears off, and you stare at the hole in the wall in horror. 

You’ve fucked up.

[tissaias-wife]

Little Deaths

(TW Ahead! SH and major character death)

Tissaia felt everything fall away as Yennefer left the room- her entire life was a laughingstock! He took everything from her! She had NOTHING left! Her school was falling apart, her friends were dead or dying, and she was too frail to fight- too feeble to do anything...

She wiped her eyes with her sleeve and looked at the slightly ajar door. She hated this! She hated everything. She hated Vilgefortz, Emhyr, Fringilla, the elves...

She hated who she had become...

She felt so scarily numb; her mind was empty with only one thought- end it all. She wanted to throw up, to scream, to cry- but she had no more fight inside of her bones.

Tissaia grabbed a quill and some parchment and began to write to her beloved Yennefer. She should apologize for everything she has ever done and what she didn't do to help her. She felt the tears well but had no chaos left to expel.

Her eyes burned and the lump in her throat began to tighten. Her mind drifted to how the girls- her girls, would find her- dead, on the floor. Tissaia felt a fear inside herself that she hadn't felt in centuries.

She continued to write word after word, and apology after apology. She finished the letter with shaking hands and her heart pounding in her ears. This would be the last time she would get to see them. She closed her eyes and imagined their smiling faces, how happy they were...and how much they didn't need her anymore. They were not children anymore- they did not require their mother.

She reached into her hair and pulled out a bone-handle knife and set it beside her on the desk. Her blue eyes widened slightly with internal fear. What was she doing?! She was truly as weak as Vilgefortz had said. Running like this wouldn't help, but her presence would only weigh her girls down. They had Rita- then her mind raced to one of her best friends.

They had both lost Vanielle during Sodden- and now Rita was going to lose Tissaia, and that made her weak, frail heart shatter. Rita would never recover, or would she? Tissaia didn't know. She loved them all so, so much- it hurt to leave like this. She felt like a coward.

She looked around and smiled fondly- her office was always her solitude- her domain. But, it would go to Yennefer or Rita- or whoever could bear to be inside the room where their Rectoress killed herself. Those words inside her perfectly broken mind left her wondering if she didn't- deserve this pain...she was a horrible woman.

Tissaia lit up her pipe and took a deep inhale. The taste of the cold air filled her lungs. She sighed through her nose and the smoke came out. She proceeded to gently grab a rock and the small flowers- her first lesson.

She whispered the incantation as a single tear raced down her left cheek as the rock lifted into the air and then fell back onto her desk. She breathed in and stood. She smiled to herself and grabbed the dagger- her last goodbye to the chaos in the continent.

She rolled her left sleeve up slightly and with shaking hands- the blade cut down. She gasped- it wasn't the pain, it was the fact that the red was so mesmerizing. It looked like rubies spilling onto the floor and onto her- and with true shaking hands- she did the other wrist.

Tissaia De Vries stood for the last time and looked outside- her vision was going blurry- then panic set in. She didn't want to die. She tried to go get help- but she fell- she whimpered softly and let the pain fill her mind. Her long life flashed before her- the laughter, the rage, the frustration- the love, and even the tears.

She began to gasp for air, hyperventilating. Her vision slowly began to go black and her breath began to fail. The last thing she heard was Yennefer screaming..and then it all went silent and dark.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Howdy's rainbow suspenders.

thank you for coming to my Ted Talk-

[horizon-verizon]

TG really thought B&C would be their Red Wedding to unconditionally gain the general audience on their side only for it to be COMPLETELY overshadowed by Alicent and Criston fucking while Alicent’s grandson is getting beheaded. And imagine if the leak about Helaena and Jaehaera walking in on them immediately after B&C is true.

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING can outclown Alicent jumping on a faithless serial oathbreaker’s dick while her daughter and granddaughter are being mentally destroyed for life and her grandson is getting sliced. She’s already hated by locals, now she will become the laughingstock of the century.

Green stans and Alicent stans are just cooked. No one except maybe Jacelas, Rhaenys stans, show!Rhaenyra stans/defenders will be happy or totally satisfied. My crops have already been harvested and enjoyed for my hard work has paid off.

It's not even that I hate Alicent all that much as an actual "person" aside from how I disliked bk!Alicent's hypocrisy; it's the insistence of her being the morally upstanding of the two and as if we should credit xenophobia, classism, internalized sexism and patriarchy as the moral standard, or to follow status quo in heart and mind. My punk brain can't handle that.

[jaz-xedarix]

The Mark of the Holy Woman. Episode 2

FINALLY!

In honor of the Trinity Blood Never Forget Day I wanted to upload as much as I can of the translation of R.O.M. IV, after three years of hiatus, I finally can finish at least this first part. I hate to keep promising stuff and ending up failing, but I want to finish this.

The theme of this year is "REBIRTH", so let's honor it by continuing my holy task.

This part may have mistakes, I wanted to post this as soon as possible so I didn't send it to correction before I post it, but I will send it and edit the post if necessary, remember you can point those mistakes too and I will gladly correct them.

We finally get to Episode 2: The Sorceress of the Temple. I hope you like it.

Enjoy ;)

EPISODE 2

The Sorceress of the Temple.

You, however, smear me with lies... JOB 13.4

I

"I have been informed of what happened, Archbishop D'Annunzio… It is a great misfortune," the man began to speak from the monitor.

Whether it was because of his vigorous body or the cutting light shone in his eyes, like a saber, it seemed that more than the Cardinal's habit, a military uniform would have fitted him better.

Francesco Di Medici, in charge of the internal affairs of the Vatican, watched them from Rome with his hands folded under his chin. One by one, he observed them all: Caterina, who was silent; Antonio, who was more concerned with fixing his hair than anything else; and Brother Petros, standing tall with the expression of a student who had forgotten to do his homework. Then he fixed his gaze on the Archbishop again.

“To think it have to be precisely during the performance of a commemorative play of the battle of Istvan that was allowed a vampire to attack... and that they had kidnapped the very Saint... Where was that Guard you are so proud of, Archbishop?”

"Your Eminence, I have no words to apologize for our negligence, but if you will allow me..." The archbishop lowered his gaze at the Cardinal's reproachful expression. However, he did not choked with the words, but replied coldly, as if he already had the excuse ready:

“Because of the presence His Holiness and Her Eminence the Cardinal Sforza the security was concentrated around them. Please forgive my mistake: I trusted that the Director of the Inquisition, who was in the place at the moment, would be able to take care of it.”

“Eh!? But I…!”

Hearing how he tried to blame him for what had happened, the warrior monk raised his bandaged head. Petros was going to answer the accusation, but seeing the reproachful look of his superior, he remained dejected and silent.

“It's... it's true that I was there... and I can't deny my responsibility for what happened...”

“I don't know if it's right to blame everything on the director of the Inquisition... Excuses go against the morals of a knight.”

The one who came out in defense of Petros, who bravely endured the accusations, was a sweet female voice. Caterina, who until then had not done much more than cough in front of the heater, continued speaking in a calm but determined voice.

“Brother Petros' duty was His Holiness' protection. The security of the theater was in charge of the Guard... Which means that the responsibility falls on them.”

«So, it’s on you... »

The accusation wasn’t said, but Caterina looked firmly to the Archbishop. If her gaze was colder than necessary, perhaps it was due to her weak state of health. Crossing her legs under the habit, the Cardinal brought the cup of tea to her lips.

“Anyway, we'll think about all that when there's time for it. Now we have more urgent problems... We must immediately locate Esther Blanchett and the vampire who has abducted her. The progress of this investigation will also determine if we can continue with the ceremony for the fallen as it was planned...”

“The ceremonies cannot be stopped. The events of tonight are an indelible stain on our image and we cannot seem weaker. We are already the laughingstock of the secular states” Francesco replied through the monitor.

From the office window could be seen the multitude of journalists and onlookers that crowded in front of the doors of the Istvan Cathedral, built as an archiepiscopal seat to replace the Cathedral of San Mátyás, which had been destroyed a year ago.

Even the Vatican had found it impossible to keep silent the more than a thousand onlookers who had witnessed the incident. The huge propaganda for the ceremony for the fallen was also working against them. The case had already come to light in all secular states and everyone was watching for the slightest movement from the Vatican. Showing weakness at the time would have led to a decisive loss of prestige.

“So everything must go as planned. We can't allow the goddamn media to laugh at us… can we, Cardinal Borgia?”

“Of course not” said frivolously from the sofa the Minister of Vatican Public Relations.

Antonio Borgia brushed a strand of dyed hair smugly from his face and smiled with a theatrical grin.

“I've already given orders for them to report that Sister Esther was abducted by a vampire, but that thanks to the work of the City Guard and the Inquisition she has already been rescued. Now she is supposed to be at the Central Hospital recovering. By the way, couldn't we have His Holiness go and pay her a visit later? This way it will have more realism and everything, you know?

“That will buy us some time...”

The Minister of Vatican Public Relations seemed to want to keep chatting, but Francesco waved him off and stared around the room, his eyes gleaming like a saber.

“In the meantime, we must find and eliminate the vampire and rescue the sister... The investigations of the Inquisition have obtained some very peculiar data. You can proceed, Brother Matthaios”

“Thank you, Your Eminence... Allow me to introduce myself. I am Brother Matthaios from the Inquisition” said one of the figures in the room, which had remained silent until then.

He was dressed with the robe of the inquisitors, but beneath his messy dark hair, his boyish face was placidity in person. Brother Matthaios, who had arrived from Rome barely an hour ago, shuffled forward as he picked out a folder of documents for all to see.

“Here we have the results of the analysis of the fractures in the walls and the floor. It appears that the weapon the vampire used is based on a special synthesized crystal with an extremely powerful piezoelectric effect.”

“Piezoelectric effect?”

D'Annunzio raised his eyebrows at that unknown word and asked the young inquisitor with exhausted eyes:

“What is that supposed to be?”

“It means that it can cause a kind of earthquake through electrical vibrations.”

The one who answered the archbishop's question was Caterina, who did not take her eyes off the documents. The Cardinal, famous in the Vatican for her encyclopedic knowledge, explained with grace, putting her finger on her temple:

“Quartz, zircon and barium titanate… are crystals that, under a certain tension, have a piezoelectric effect that can produce discharges, in the same way, if they are introduced into an electric field, they can cause the opposite effect.”

“Which means, shortly, that if electricity is passed to them they can produce vibration and if a tension is caused they can produce electricity” added Matthaios, for those who did not have the same technical knowledge as the Cardinal. Unfolding the documents like a science teacher, he showed his audience the corresponding diagrams. “For example, a common use for it is microphones. Through electrical impulses they produce vibrations, that is, they produce sounds. Last night's weapon uses these properties to the maximum power, the vibration takes the metals to the limit of their resistance and ends up melting them, which causes the destruction of the target.”

"Well, the truth is that those details, I…" said D'Annunzio weakly, stroking his eyebrows in misunderstanding and casting a nervous glance around the room. “The important thing is to know if that technology surpasses what we have. And it is clear that the vampire is an assassin sent by the Empire, as she said herself, right?”

“That might be a hasty conclusion, Your Excellence...”

The one who then expressed her doubts was Caterina, leaving the documents on the table, coughed slightly before continuing.

“It is true that the Empire is our mortal enemy, but it has been more than a hundred years since they caused an incident. There is no reson that they have to start right now.”

“They don't provoke... Not until now, it's true, but won't they start to feel threatened now that we've occupied Istvan?”

Antonio had spoken in a serious voice, extremely rare for him, at the same time that he pointed with his chin towards the map that was hanging on the wall.

Before Armageddon, the city could be proud to be one of the pillars of central Europe, but today it was no more than a border city of two hundred thousand inhabitants. The surroundings of the urban nucleus were full of uninhabitable ruins and the tunnels of the old subway were nothing more than dark caverns.

The vampire would not be short of places to hide, and spotting her in this terrain would be extremely difficult.

“But, well, whatever are the intentions of our enemy, the important thing is to capture the vampire... Is there any news about her possible whereabouts?”

“The city guard is working hard on it with their full force.”

As if recovered from nervousness, D'Annunzio finally raised his head and, tracing a ring around the city with his finger, explained:

“The routes out of the city are all blocked and there are checkpoints on all the railway lines. In addition, we are sending squads with anti-vampire equipment to the underground tunnels.”

“I see. They are very wise measures, but isn't it a bit risky?” asked Matthaios, after raising his hand in a humble gesture, scratching his head he continued with a worried face, “With your permission, the Guard has no actual combat experience and their anti-vampire equipment is very limited. Even if they find her, the probability that the vampire will end up killing them is very high… May I dare to ask you to accept that the Inquisition participate in the mission?”

“Brother Matthaios, I thank you very much for the offer, but right now it is only you and Brother Petros, rather, since Brother Petros is wounded, we only have you. As much as you are inquisitor, it doesn't change the thing too much either.”

“Just me? Oh, of course! There's something I haven’t told you yet...” Matthaios clapped his hands, as if he had just remember something important, he explained with crystal clear voice: “Precisely now there are waiting at the airport of István three aircraft that carry a few hundred special policemen. I myself have come with a detachment that was on maneuvers in Triest. Ah!, and by the afternoon we expect near to two hundred more men as reinforcements.

“What? Is that right?”

Considering that not even twelve hours had passed since the incident, the speed of the deployment was extraordinary. Not only D'Annunzio, but also Caterina and Antonio raised their eyebrows in surprise. However, the inquisitor remained smiling and his eyes calm.

“As they were on maneuvers, we still have to reorganize the chain of command and provide them with the necessary equipment, but I think it won't take long to solve these issues. Give me an hour and I'll have them ready for combat.”

“Well, what a speed of reaction… I didn't expect less from you, Brother Matthaios. I see that the rumors that you are the best commander the Vatican has are not false. Very different from another that I know.” (T.N.: I’m angry now, sorry XD)

D'Annunzio unexpectedly began to praise the inquisitor. Even if they were already on maneuvers, transporting five hundred men, an entire battalion, across that distance in a few hours and having them ready to go into action really demonstrated prodigious capabilities.

“Magnificent. If we can count on the collaboration of such an experienced corps as the special police and the leadership of an inquisitor with such talent there is nothing to fear. I leave it in your hands, Brother Matthaios.”

As the archbishop filled the inquisitor with praise, like a teacher encouraging his favorite student, a barely perceptible voice sounded behind him.

“And… me…?” (T.N.: my heart is broken 💔)

The warrior monk, who was slumped in a corner, raised his hand with some fear.

“Please allow me to join the operation and regain the honor I’ve lost last night. We will find the vampire and I myself will bring you her head...”

“No, you won't go, Petros.”

The one who flatly rejected Petros' request was not the archbishop. On the monitor, Francesco was shaking his head sternly.

“The operation can be conducted by Matthaios alone. You look for the safety of His Holiness.”

“Eh!? But, Your Eminence…! I…!”

“Don’t get me wrong... it is not that I don’t trust you...”

The truth is that the expression of Francesco cannot be matched with someone who rebukes a subordinate. However, the veteran knight spoke with a firm voice, which did not admit reply. He nailed the sharp stare on Petros, then he explained clearly:

“As long as we have not captured the vampire, the chances that she will attempt to attack His Holiness' life are very high. In anticipation of this contingency, there must be someone by his side capable of protecting him. That's what I mean.”

“Eh…? But...”

Il Ruinante lowered his head at the stern, if not cold, words of his superior. First he blushed, and then he turned pale. With a pained look on his face, he muttered through clenched teeth:

“Understood... as you command, sir...”

“I've said it before: All of this should be kept hidden from the media. If they find out, they can do irreparable damage...” Francesco concluded, after looking at Petros and Matthaios.

The Cardinal had a determined but nervous expression, unusual for him. It wasn't strange. An error in the management of that problem would make it turn into something much worse than a simple incident that occurred in the provinces. At worst, it could end up affecting the power of the Vatican itself.

Looking out at the high ranks gathered in the room, the man whose iron arm held the Vatican in place repeated in a grave tone:

“An imperial noble has kidnapped our Saint... This is not a simple vampire attack, it could become the spark of a new crusade, we must be prepared for anything.”

“What has happened, Your Eminence?”

When Caterina returned to her assigned room, the silver-haired priest got up from the sofa impatiently. He would have not slept all night, because he was nervously looking at his superior, looking pale and haggard.

“What are the instructions? How are we going to proceed with the search?”

"The Ministry of Holy Affairs* does not have the right to participate in the operations..". (*T.N.: Need to check the correct name to be consistent)

Caterina coughed lightly as she handed her cardinal miter to the other priest in the room: Father Tres Iqus. The cold was very intense. After sitting down in front of the heater, she slowly caught her breath.

“The search will be carried out by the Inquisition and the special police. We will take care of the protection and assistance of the Pope.”

“Wha... but the one who has been kidnapped is one of ours!”

With a violent cry, very rare of him, Abel had turned even paler than Caterina. His voice, excited and trembling, revealed that he had spent the night awake, remorseful for having allowed a companion to be abducted before his eyes.

“Who has decided something so stupid as the companions of the abducted cannot participate in the search!? Right now Esther may...”

“Calm down, Abel...”

Caterina tried to calm the priest with a serene voice, he looked like he was going to get out in a rush at any moment.

Normally, the priest was so calm that he exasperated others, but this time the guilt was probably too strong. Trying to ignore the dark feelings that were beginning to bubble inside her, the Cardinal looked at the hysterical priest and explained calmly:

“I think it goes without saying that Sister Esther's safety comes first for me. She is a key agent who brought back invaluable information from the Empire. Losing her now would be a tremendous blow.”

“But we can't ignore His Holiness' protection either...”

The monotonous voice that joined the conversation was Tres’. The mechanical soldier continued speaking without any trace of feeling about the possibilities they had:

“As long as the vampire is within the city, the chances that her next target will be the Pope or Her Eminence are very high. If an attack did occur, we would be responsible. It must be avoided at all costs.”

“Okay, so you can stay with the Cardinal, Father Tres” Abel answered immediately, preparing to leave the room.

This abrupt manner of speaking was not at all normal for the priest.

“In the meantime, I'll go find Esther around the town! Since I was here a year ago, I know the streets a little. Not that I'm going to wander aimlessly...”

“Negative. It is not advisable to disperse our combat capabilities, Father Nightroad. Our goal is to protect His Holiness and Her Eminence. We must also count on Cardinal Borgia. It is physically impossible that one can cover alone all the three objectives at a time. The minimum necessary is two units, which are you and me.”

“Eh…?”

Faced with the cold but exact reasoning, the silver-haired priest was speechless. He tried to think of a reply, but finally remained silent. Anyway, he turned decisively towards Caterina, with a face of not giving up, and looked with imploring eyes at his superior:

“Please... Your Eminence... I... Esther...”

“No. Impossible, Abel… I mean, Father Nightroad” Caterina said, shaking her head calmly at the priest's pleas. “I fully understand how you feel. I am also very worried about Sister Esther. But the vampire is still among us. If she attacks again, who will be here to defend us against her? Who will defend me and Alessandro? Only you can do it. Also, Abel...”

The priest bit his lip at the calm reprimand. In his watery eyes danced the image of those whom he had to protect. The cardinal cast her last sentence towards that gaze like a winter lake.

“Is it worthless for you to defend us?”

“...”

As if he had strings and they had been cut, the young man dropped his eyelids. He closed his eyes tightly and his face, with the expression of someone who had just drank poison, was drained of all color. But his lips opened one more time just to spit:

“Coward... That's a coward answer, Caterina... I can't believe that...”

After whispering those words, the priest went to the door.

“Where are you going, Father Nightroad? We are in the middle of a meeting. Come back immediately!”

The voice scolded Abel harshly, but he ignored it and reached for the doorknob. Without changing his expression, Tres quickly caught his partner in front of the door...

“You don't have to follow him, Father Tres” the Cardinal said, stopping the short priest with a gesture. “Even if we don't chase him, Father Nightroad won't abandon us… I know how he is”

What was that expression that crossed over the beautiful woman's face? Disgust with herself, anger...? A veil of pain darkened her face. But it was only an instant. Recovering her serenity immediately, the Cardinal ordered her subordinate:

“Father Tres, take care of the cathedral. I have to solve some matters and then accompany His Holiness to the Central Hospital. Take care of the preparations.”

“Positive.”

Even after receiving the orders, the mechanical soldier remained standing for a moment, as if to say something, but in the end he withdrew silently through the same door his companion had used.

After verifying that the rhythmic echo of the boots had died down the hall, the Cardinal leaned against the back of her chair. Bringing the handkerchief to her lips, she coughed slightly...

“A despicable woman…” she groaned softly between her lips in a hoarse voice.

She had coughed so badly that her voice heard broken. Seeing the slight reddish stain that had appeared on the white lace of the handkerchief, on her face there was no shadow of the Lady of Steel that caused terror to all.

“I am… I am a despicable woman.”

Still coughing, she tossed the bloody handkerchief into the fireplace.

∙∙∙·▫▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫▫ᵒ▫ₒₒ▫ᵒ·∙∙·▫▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫▫·∙∙∙

Thank you for your patience, see you next time!

If you find some mistake, please let me know in comments, don't forget to ❤ and reblog.

Stay safe guys. Hugs!

[thebiscuiteternal]

I knew it was unfortunately likely, but the fact that people here are stupid enough to send Blackburn and Burchett back to the US Senate after they've made us international laughingstocks makes me want to barf.

At least, like I said before, Johnson can't lose her state rep seat right now.

[sukimas]

Kela (in total, not just college; Finland's social security program) costs ~16.9 billion euros per year. Finland has ~5.6 million people. Therefore, Kela costs about 3015 euro (or 3285 dollars) per person. A United States equivalent of Kela (properly managed) would cost 1.09 trillion dollars per year.

The total cost of the US Social Security program for the year 2021 was $1.145 trillion or about 5 percent of U.S. GDP.

Even assuming scaling administration costs, US Social Security provides nowhere near the number and amount of benefits Kela does. There is no reason that its cost should be 105% of what Kela's is (scaled for size).

The United States isn't impossible to make into a welfare state because the money is not available. The United States is impossible to make into a welfare state because its administration should be the laughingstock of the world for how poorly it is managed and run. We can only manage to stop paying more for less if we actually realize this and start taking steps to reduce the administrative bloat that is present in all of our institutions, from the local high school to the Federal Reserve.

A better world is possible! Know this: it is only so if you know the causes of this world's failures, instead of shadowboxing against Elon Musk. Billionaires should not exist- but neither should a Social Security system that costs 105% the price of one that also provides health insurance and university. This isn't just from employee number scaling, either- the Social Security Administration of the US has 60,000 employees. Kela has 6,000. The US has a population 59.3x the size of Finland, with a social security administration only 10x larger. By all accounts, Kela should cost more per head!

The United States is not a "failed state"- that means something very different- but the things it has achieved in the past (interstate highway system, post office, incredible freight rail, scientific innovations) are not achievable now. Institutions drag their feet and chase ghosts instead of looking to their more successful contemporaries. The US is not a failed state, but it is certainly a failure of a state.

I'll leave the post on this anecdote: The Washington DC Metro's Silver Line- connecting the capital of the nation to the international airport regularly used by the President of the United States, and arguably the singular piece of publicly funded infrastructure of most import to Congress- received a funding contract for line completion in 2014. The line was scheduled to open in 2018.

In actuality, the line opened in November of 2022.

[mybeautifulchristianjourney]

Jeremiah's Afflictions

1 I am the man who has seen affliction by the rod of the Lord’s wrath. 2 He has driven me away and made me walk in darkness rather than light; 3 indeed, he has turned his hand against me again and again, all day long.

4 He has made my skin and my flesh grow old and has broken my bones. 5 He has besieged me and surrounded me with bitterness and hardship. 6 He has made me dwell in darkness like those long dead.

7 He has walled me in so I cannot escape; he has weighed me down with chains. 8 Even when I call out or cry for help, he shuts out my prayer. 9 He has barred my way with blocks of stone; he has made my paths crooked.

10 Like a bear lying in wait, like a lion in hiding, 11 he dragged me from the path and mangled me and left me without help. 12 He drew his bow and made me the target for his arrows.

13 He pierced my heart with arrows from his quiver. 14 I became the laughingstock of all my people; they mock me in song all day long. 15 He has filled me with bitter herbs and given me gall to drink.

16 He has broken my teeth with gravel; he has trampled me in the dust. 17 I have been deprived of peace; I have forgotten what prosperity is. 18 So I say, “My splendor is gone and all that I had hoped from the Lord.”

19 I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. 20 I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. 21 Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:

22 Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. 23 They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. 24 I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”

25 The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; 26 it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. 27 It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young.

28 Let him sit alone in silence, for the Lord has laid it on him. 29 Let him bury his face in the dust— there may yet be hope. 30 Let him offer his cheek to one who would strike him, and let him be filled with disgrace. — Lamentations 3 (Part 1 of 2) | New International Version (NIV) Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® All rights reserved worldwide. Cross References: Job 3:23; Job 6:4; Job 10:16; Job 16:10; Job 16:12-13; Job 16:15; Job 17:15; Job 19:8; Job 21:6; Job 30:9; Job 30:20; Job 30:26; Psalm 3:7; Psalm 16:5; Psalm 27:14; Psalm 31:9; Psalm 37:7; Psalm 38:2; Psalm 78:38; Psalm 88:5-6 and 7; Psalm 130:7; Isaiah 59:11; Jeremiah 5:16; Jeremiah 8:14; Jeremiah 9:15; Jeremiah 15:17; Luke 21:20; Hebrews 10:23