#inter: lucy

[muzaktomyears]

My favourite bit of the Apple Scruffs book so far is when they decide to go on a pilgrimage to Liverpool but one of the group insists on bringing her George doll:

We left on the earliest train we could catch the following morning: we wanted to have a full day in Liverpool. We arrived there at 4 a.m.! We decided to leave our heavy handbags in the lockers at the station. This caused the first problem. Lucy had brought her 'George' doll, a rag doll she had made in the spitting image of George. When George grew a moustache or beard, Lucy dutifully sewed one on the doll. When George shaved his beard off, so the doll suffered the unpicking of brown string from his face. She had made clothes to look like the ones George wore. Now that George only wore jeans, the doll (and Lucy) could at least relax on that score for a while. Lucy slept with the doll and in the daytime the doll had pride of place on her pillow. When we all started putting our things into the locker, Lucy made no move to put 'George' in. I whispered to Margo "I'm not walking around Liverpool with a doll in George's image". Margo agreed and suggested to Lucy that she put the doll in the top part of the locker so it wouldn't get smashed by the handbags. "Oh, Margo, don't be silly. I couldn't possibly do that," Lucy said. "George won't be able to breathe if he's put in the locker." I looked at Jill. Jill raised her eyebrows at Margo. But Margo didn't notice. She was staring at Lucy, mouth wide open. "Lucy, you're not serious!" Margo shouted. "Now, Margo," I interrupted. Despite the insanity of Lucy's statement and my own personal dislike of her, I did feel some kind of sympathy. I wouldn't let some visiting toddler pull the eyes off my stuffed toys. Maybe this was similar. I tried a different tactic. "Lucy, there are vents in the top of the locker. He will be able to breathe." Still she refused. "I want him to see his home town," she said. "Oh, great," Jill mumbled. "Well, Lucy, if you insist on taking him round with you, can you at least keep him in your bag?" Margo asked. "Yes, of course," she said, adding "As long as he can see out."

Waiting for the Beatles: An Apple Scruff’s Story, Carol Bedford (1984)

[firmatadiaz]

Il calcio era uno sport.

[hotvintagepoll]

this is a poll for a movie that doesn't exist.

It is vintage times. The powers that be have decided to again remake the classic vampire novel Dracula for the screen. in an amazing show of inter-studio solidarity, Hollywood’s most elite hotties are up for the starring roles. the producers know whoever they cast will greatly impact the genre, quality, and tone of the finished film, so they are turning to their wisest voices for guidance.

you are the new casting director for this star-studded epic. choose your players wisely.

Previously cast:

Jonathan Harker—Jimmy Stewart

The Old Woman—Martita Hunt

Count Dracula—Gloria Holden

Mina Murray—Setsuko Hara

Lucy Westenra—Judy Garland

The Three Voluptuous Women—Betty Grable, Marilyn Monroe, and Lauren Bacall

The Agonized Mother—Mary Philbin (rip)

Dr. Jack Seward—Vincent Price

Quincey P. Morris—Toshiro Mifune

Arthur Holmwood—Sidney Poitier

R.M. Renfield—Conrad Veidt

The Captain of the Demeter—Omar Sharif (rip)

The First Mate of the Demeter—Leonard Nimoy (rip)

Mr. Swales—Ed Wynn (rip)

The Correspondent for The Daily Graph—Ethel Waters

Dracula in dog form—Frank Oz with a puppet

Sister Agatha—Angela Lansbury

Mrs. Westenra—Gladys Cooper

Dracula's solicitors—Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee

Van Helsing is described at length in the novel. He is Dr. Seward's old mentor, possessing "an iron nerve, a temper of the ice-brook, an indomitable resolution, self-command, [....] and the kindliest and truest heart that beats." According to Mina, he is "a man of medium height, strongly built, with his shoulders set back over a broad, deep chest and a neck well balanced on the trunk as the head is on the neck. The poise of the head strikes me at once as indicative of thought and power. The head is noble, well-sized, broad, and large behind the ears. The face, clean-shaven, shows a hard, square chin, a large resolute, mobile mouth, a good-sized nose, rather straight, but with quick, sensitive nostrils, that seem to broaden as the big bushy brows come down and the mouth tightens. The forehead is broad and fine, rising at first almost straight and then sloping back above two bumps or ridges wide apart, such a forehead that the reddish hair cannot possibly tumble over it, but falls naturally back and to the sides. Big, dark blue eyes are set widely apart and are quick and tender or stern with the man's moods." Van Helsing tends to talk through funny stories and bizarre metaphors, is one of the first to consider the supernatural in Lucy's illness, and comes from Amsterdam.

[ileftmysoulinnorway]

The Vampire Laws (according to the Children of Darkness).

Total of one hundred.

Written in Latin. The main coven was based in Rome, and Armand was sent from there to Paris. Is Latin his third language? ("French my fourth and poorest language").

They largely use the term "lamiae" for vampires (which makes sense given the part of the world), but not always.

The Five Great Laws

1. Quisque suum thalamum debet habere ducem e ... ponat ... doli.

(my translation) Each coven (literally „inner room“) must have its leader ... order ... Trick.

(used in the show) Each coven must have its leader and only he might order the working of the Dark Trick upon a mortal.

2. Dona tenebrosa numquam debilesdebile.. ... er.. aut iis qui necum potestatibus quidem obscuris suis vivere possunt debent.

The Dark Gifts must never be given to the weak ... or to those who cannot (in fact) live with their dark powers.

The Dark Gifts must never be given to the crippled, the maimed or to children.

3. Nullus lamia vampiris debet scribere historiam lamiae vel quamlibet veram cognitionem lamiorum netalis historia inveniatura mortalibus et credatur.

No vampire should commit to writing the history of the vampires, or any true knowledge of vampires, lest such a story be discovered and believed by mortals.

No vampire must commit to writing the history of the vampires.

4. Nemo lamia suamveram naturammortalibus unquam patefaciet et mortale vivat.

No vampire will ever reveal his true nature to mortals and lives as a mortal.

No vampire shall ever reveal his or her true nature to a mortal and let the mortal live.

5. Nullus lamia potestalium lamia destruere nisi quod dominus copuluspotestatemhabetvitae et necis super totum gregem suum.

No vampire can destroy another vampire except for the coven master who holds the power of life and death over his whole flock.

No vampire may ever destroy another vampire except that the coven master has the power of life and death over all his flock.

Other laws that are at least a little bit readable:

51. Lamia semper ad sep... re...bit vel uni simillimum.

A vampire is always ... or very similar to one.

52. Lamia non cognoscet gaudium.

A vampire will not know joy.

53. Non cognoscet lamia felicitatem.

A vampire will not know happiness.

54. Leges magnae lamiae ...olasse iudicatus exs... ... morte punietur.

The laws of the great vampire* ... judged ... will be punished by death.

*or more likely the great laws of the vampires.

55. Lamia(e) exilia punienda ...buntur in terra tumulanda.

Exiled vampires to be punished ... buried in the ground.

56. Lamia non ambulabit in locis lucis.

A vampire will not walk in places of light.

57. Vampires praedam e consortio rapient ...s profuxis[?] et vagi.

Vampires will snatch prey from the group  ... runaways and vagrants.

58. Lamia nunquam cognoscet delicias vitae vanitates saeculi.

A vampire will never know the pleasures of life and the vanities of the world/age.

59. Lamia non requiret solatium foci[?].

A vampire will not require the comfort of a family.

60. Vampires nunquam carnalem delectationem cum mortalibus requirent.

Vampires will never seek carnal pleasure with mortals.

61. Vampires nunquam mortalium consortia quaerunt.

Vampires never seek the company of mortals.

62. Vivere inter homines ....nt labentibus annis lamia ad insaniam.

To live among humans .... the passing years ... a vampire to madness.

63. Vivere inter homines alios videre senescere ac mori sicut lamia nunquam sequila[?] lamia ad insaniam impellet.

To live among humans and see others grow old and die, like vampires would never, will drive vampires to insanity.

64. Lamia non ....patem quaerunt.

A vampire not ... seek.

65. Vampires in choro[?] delectationem non reg...rent.

Vampires do not ... delight in dance.

66. Vampires in musica non quaerunt ....tem.

Vampires do not seek .... in music.

67. Lamia(e) non[?] actibus[?] delectationem quaerunt,

Vampires do not seek pleasure in perfomances.

68. Vampires litterae** voluptatem non requirent.

Vampires do not seek pleasure in books.

**thank you lilium-in-blue

69. Vampires magicae non ....ionem requirent.

Vampires do not seek .... magic.

81. Factor amittit fac....diendi f.lli sui cogitationes ..c ...tium est donum obscurae largi...

The maker loses .... his thoughts ... is Dark Gift ...

82. Lamia in alias formas inc..sa europaea mutare poterit sed numquam in ...rundom africanum vertere poteris.

A vampire in other forms ... European ... will be able to change but never in ... African ... will be able to turn.***

*** I have no idea what this means. Words are missing and the whole sentence can have a completely different meaning than what it looks like now. My first thought was that it was some kind of reference to Akasha and Enkil. Please don't jump to conclusions.

83. Veri filii dei potestatibus eam ...per fidem resistere possunt s.... ....e sunt creaturae infidelis damnatorum.

True children of God .... powers ... can resist faith ... are the creatures ... damned unfaithful.

84. Lamia corpora aquae salsae in aestus maximo et infimo .a.tum transibunt.

A vampire will cross bodies of salt water ... at high and low tides.

85. Ut tempus mortale depopulatur corpus lamia depopulabitur tempus ut anni decennia vertuntur in saecula millennii corpus petrificat et lamia volvitur in saxum.

As time destroys the mortal body, so the vampire will be destroyed over time, as the decades turn into the centuries of the millennium, the body petrifies and the vampire turns to stone.

86. Vampires victimas non relinquent ubi a mortalibus cognosci possint nisi tales dolores fuerint ut mors non sit causa praeternaturalia.

Vampires will not leave their victims where they can be recognized by mortals unless they are wounded in such a way that their death does not seem supernatural.

87. Lamia vera loquetur scobe[?] domino.

The vampire will speak the truth ... to the master.

88. Lamia domino suo asse obediet eique exhibebit quantum tale officium postulat.

A vampire will obey his master and will give him as much as such a duty demands.

89. Lamia ad omnes casus paretur.

A vampire is prepared for everything.

90. Lamia paratus ad immolandum se ad bonum testudinis.

A vampire is willing to sacrifice himself/herself for the good of the coven.

91. Paratus lamia paratus erit suum testudinum et dominum suum ab omnibusiminis externis et domesticis defendere.

A prepared vampire will be ready to defend his/her coven and his/her master from external and internal threats.

92. Super omnia custodiatte.

Above all, be vigilant.

93. Nullam lamia eg... posuere eget t.n.idunt quam.

No vampire ... needs to put ...

94. Si lamia in...niret socium lamia fractam testudinis regulas tali de..sta domino cousco referentur.

If a vampire ... vampire breaks the rules of the coven, such ... they will be reported to the coven master.

95. Defectum de .ae...is membris certi... facere faciet ..os criminum facitos[?] lamia ac s ... .a... miserit.

The failure of ... members ... will make ... crimes ... vampire ... will be killed/released.

96. Ignorantia testament.. regulae non erit acceptabile defensionem contra regulas praevaricationis.

Ignorance ... of the rules will not be an acceptable defense against breaking the rules.

97. Admissa in cr..am un ... via exeundi ...

Admitted ... way ... avoid ...

98. Pactum lamia s... et pacem[?] praesedit.

A vampire pact ... and presides over peace.

TL;DR: Very cult-like rules, calling for restraint, moderation, obedience. Lots of little callbacks.

Let me know if you spot any mistakes or can add anything. I'm used to translating from Latin, but not into English. Latin is a bit tricky, mainly because of the crazy word order.

[capstao]

Parou de frente pra ele, o encarando como se esperasse qualquer confirmação de que aquilo não era sério. Por fim pegou o sorvete de pistache e virou na cabeça do francês. - V-vê se cresce, Dragna.

Era possível sentir no ar a espessa camada de desgosto entre Lucien e Max. Era incrível como o futuro bombeiro era um dos únicos capazes de trazer à tona a amargura que o Dragna lutou tanto para esconder abaixo de camadas de humor duvidoso nos últimos anos. ─ E-E-E-E-E-Eu espero que sim, Pe-Pernalonga! E vo-você? Po-po-por ho-ho-je é só-só pe-pessoal! ─ imitou não apenas a gagueira, mas também a voz do personagem Gaguinho para dar uma pitada a mais no deboche. ─ Papinho de merda, Maxie. Dá pra ir resolver logo o que veio aqui resolver e dar logo no pé? Não esqueci do meu pagamento de tar fazendo esse favor aí pra você não. ─

[fluentmoviequoter]

A Daughter Who's a Boot

The Bradfords Series Masterlist (3/?)

Pairing: Tim Bradford x fem!wife!cop!reader

Summary: Tim interrupts your dinner date with Lucy with a cryptic call that leaves you concerned. Lucy stays beside you and you remind Tim that she's important to both of you (and that he cares about her, even if he won't admit it).

Warnings: mention/depiction of domestic terrorism, banter, fluff!

Word Count: 1.6k+ words

Masterlist | Tim Bradford Masterlist | Request Info/Fandom List

Your phone buzzes with a text from Tim while you watch for Lucy. Tonight’s dinner date with Lucy has been planned for weeks, but Tim seemed reluctant to let you go. Whether his sudden borderline clinginess was because you’re spending time with Lucy instead of him or something more, you’re unsure. Regardless of the reason he’s texting, you promise to let him know when you’re on your way home and encourage him to enjoy his time alone. Since you married Tim, he’s grown used to you being around, but you thought he would enjoy a night to himself. It seems you were wrong.

The restaurant door opens again while you place your phone back in your bag. You look up quickly and wave to Lucy, whose smile grows as she rushes to your table.

“I ordered your favorite drink,” you say as she sits across the table.

“Thanks, Mom!” she replies, still smiling.

“Someone is going to think you’re serious and have some intense judgements about me,” you scold playfully.

“How was your day?” Lucy asks, ignoring your faux protest.

“It was pretty good. I’m more interested in how yours was.”

“Busy, but fine. I’ve been counting down the seconds to this dinner, though.”

“We should do it more often.”

“Like your husband would allow that,” Lucy scoffs. “He’s so jealous of me and how much time we spend together.”

You roll your eyes but don’t argue. Tim cares about Lucy just as much as you do, but he has a very different way of showing it. Lucy knows that, but she enjoys teasing him and trying to get under his skin. After the waiter approaches and takes your order, he turns to Lucy. Your phone lights up in your bag, and you politely excuse yourself before you look down to check it. There’s a missed call from Tim that went to voicemail less than a minute ago.

“Tim?” Lucy guesses as the waiter leaves.

“Yeah,” you say, furrowing your brows. “He knows we’re busy.”

Your phone rings again, and this time you answer it immediately.

“Tim?” you ask as the call connects.

“I need you to come home. Now,” Tim says before your phone beeps.

You pull the phone away from your ear, and when a text comes through from Angela, you know Tim is serious.

“I have to go, Lucy. I’m so sorry,” you explain as you gather your things.

“I’m coming with you,” Lucy offers.

“No, Luce-“

“You’re rattled, and now I’m worried too. So, I’m coming with you.”

“Yeah, okay. Let’s go.”

You leave some cash on the table for your waiter and tell the hostess there’s an emergency as you rush past the greeting stand. Your mind races with what could be this urgent, but you resolve to remain calm and composed as you race to get home.

Lucy walks into your home behind you and nearly runs into you when you stop suddenly. She peeks over your shoulder and sees a map covering your dining table. Tim and Angela are leaning over it, marking seemingly random locations with bright red dots.

Tim looks up, and when he sees Lucy, he tells you, “I told you to come home, not Lucy.”

Lucy opens her mouth to apologize, but you speak before she can.

“Tim, you said to get home and then hung up on me. You should know that she wouldn’t let me leave alone after that. She’s worried, too, so either we both stay, or we both go,” you respond.

Angela gives Tim a that’s your wife look before he sighs and steps toward you. When Tim lifts his arms, you willingly move toward him and let him wrap you in a hug. He apologizes against your shoulder as he rubs a warm hand along your spine.

“So,” you begin as you step out of the hug. “What was the cryptic call about?”

“Interesting question,” Angela muses. “We have enough reason to believe someone is planning a huge attack on downtown LA. Like, they want to level it huge. But we don’t actually have enough evidence to get the FBI involved or do anything about it.”

“Not yet,” Tim adds, glancing at you.

“Of course,” you agree without being asked. “Tell me what to do.”

“Us,” Lucy corrects, stepping to your side. “Tell us what to do.”

“The locations marked in red have the most foot traffic, we think those would be easy targets because no one would be able to see anything,” Tim explains.

“But that doesn’t take into account rooftops, abandoned buildings, flight paths, anything that wouldn’t rely on a diversion,” you deduce.

“Right,” Angela agrees. “But we have a notebook in evidence with some details. Techs are trying to piece it together but they’re not making any progress.”

“Do you have pictures of the notes?” Lucy asks.

“Of course we do, boot. We’re not incompetent, just behind,” Tim answers as he passes a tablet to Lucy.

“Thanks, Dad,” she replies as she scrolls through the pictures.

“Hey, Angela,” you call, ignoring Lucy and Tim bickering behind you. “Can you pass me that stool?”

She nods and brings a stool from your kitchen island to your side. You position it beside the table before you climb to stand atop it.

“Don’t-“ Tim begins, but you’re already up. He sighs as he walks past Lucy and places a hand on the back of your thigh to keep you steady.

You rise to your tiptoes, aware of Tim’s hand pressing against your leg to reassure himself just as much as you, and snap a picture of the map from above. Tim takes your hand as you jump down and examine the angle you photographed.

“Am I seeing things or do the red marks spell something?” you ask, passing your phone to Angela.

You squeeze Tim’s hand, which is still wrapped around yours.

“I can see two letters,” Angela cheers. “D, something, T.”

“A dot,” Lucy fills in, zooming in on a scanned page from the notebook. “It’s marked on a map, looks like 100 Main Street… is that a real address?”

“It’s not a dot, it’s DOT!” you exclaim. “Department of Transportation, D-O-T. Caltrans has a headquarters on South Main, downtown.”

“It wasn’t going to start multi-target,” Tim realizes.

“If they can hit Caltrans, they can take out more than downtown, they can take out all of Los Angeles,” Angela adds.

“I thought traffic was bad now,” you murmur as you join Lucy’s side to view the mastermind’s notes.

“I’m going to alert Caltrans, LADOT, DHS, and anyone else I can get in touch with,” Angela says as she picks up her phone. “Thank you so much for your help. Sorry, I ruined dinner.”

“Tim ruined dinner,” Lucy corrects.

“I’m okay with shifting the blame to him. I’ll see all of you at work.”

“Bye, Ange,” you call after her. You tilt your head to look at Tim while Lucy continues scrolling through evidence pictures.

“What?” Tim asks.

“Seriously?!” you ask incredulously. “You scared me. Calling twice in a row, telling me to get home, and then hanging up on me is not okay.”

Tim nods, seeing just how upset you still are. All because he worried you. The last time you were stressed because of someone close to you was when Lucy accidentally lured a former convict to her apartment. Now, it’s completely Tim’s fault that you feel this way, and he knows he could have gone about it differently. Tim pulls you into his arms and apologizes again before promising never to worry you like that again. It’s not necessarily a promise he can keep, but you know he’ll try. You nod against his chest and wrap your arms tighter around his waist.

“Hey, maybe I’m worried about you too, Dad,” Lucy interrupts. “Can I get in on the hug?”

“No,” Tim answers shortly. “But thank you for coming.”

“No problem.” Lucy smiles at you and says, “Goodnight, Mom. Call if you need a break from him.”

“Goodnight, Lucy. Thanks for everything,” you reply. You release Tim to hug Lucy before she leaves.

When she returns the hug, Lucy whispers, “Is Tim a good hugger?”

“No,” you lie quietly. “He’s the worst.”

“I knew it.”

Lucy leaves, and when your front door closes behind her, you turn to Tim, but he shakes his head and steps back.

“If I’m such a bad hugger, you can live without another one,” he says.

“We may fight all the time, but you need me, Bradford,” you reply.

Tim stares into your eyes before he pulls you roughly into his arms and kisses your forehead.

“Hey, since you interrupted my dinner with Lucy, I’m crashing your breakfast with her next week,” you threaten lightly.

“I’m ditching her,” Tim replies. “Breakfast with you sounds a whole lot better.”

“She’s our daughter, Tim, you’re gonna have to learn to get along with her eventually.”

Tim pulls back and cups your face before he explains, “She’s a boot, not a daughter. Keep that straight.”

“Sure,” you agree. “Just remember that next time she’s in danger and you call me panicking.”

Tim releases you and steps back dramatically as he accuses, “Traitor. Kojo, let’s go somewhere we’re appreciated.”

Hearing his name, Kojo trots into the room with you and sits beside your feet. He looks up at you and wiggles happily as you reach down to pet him.

“You’re outnumbered, Bradford,” you remind Tim. “And you love us.”

Tim returns to your side and distracts you from Kojo as he kisses you. “I do love you,” he says against your lips. “Remember that.”

[akitasimblr]

day one in household three starts great! we just earned 15 twigs and we are gonna put them to good use!

say hello to our new - amazing - chair and our woodbench!

for some reason, dodo, daisy f. and jaxon are acting... paranoid?! but karter quickly calls it off "get it together, people!" 😂😂😂

martha is hungry and daisy f. has this sweet interation of consoling her. meanwhile, jaxon managed to set himself on fire; mikayla and daisy d. are discussing the possibility of watching turtles hatching since the island is getting cleaner and cleaner :)

and now some synchronized swimming performed by the amazing lucy-celeste and mikayla :)

tasks people, tasks!! martha is our daily carpenter; jaxon is quite worried that this sea waste may be contaminated...; mikayla is responsible for collecting vegetables and daisy d. and dodo were sent fishing.

daisy f. was sent to dig some capsules but she got distracted by the waterfall and the... frogs?

daisy d. caught the fish and cooked it with much love! unfortunately, doesn't seem like the cooking went that loving...

jaxon is feeling sexy... wait he IS sexy ;) daisy f. is talking about the weather with dodo and karter wins the medal for the first bladder failure in this household! congrats, dude!! mikayla is asking everybody about where can someone have some shower...

daisy f. is our resident singer, i guess... 😉 and dodo is making alien jokes, fortunately, mikayla find them hillarious!!!

some late night bonding by the campfire and dodo keeps with his alien jokes (why dude?!?). and martha and mikayla are creating a nice friendship... or did i speak too soon? look at her face while dodo and mikayla discuss interests...!

and as starry night falls down on our island, lucy-celeste spends the night telling silly jokes to dodo who looks enchanted with her sense of humour <33

🌴previous | next🌴

@demonicrosebush @mdshh @cawthorntales

@moonfromearth @philodendrontrait

@simsinfinitylt @flocy-sims

[kingorqueenofnarnia]

Narnia headcanons

High King Peter the Magnificent

Was the only one that got married out of the four siblings. He married for love, which is extremely rare for Royalty. He had no children, but he loved his spouse/(s) dearly (you may hc his spouse to be of any gender you'd like. Personally, i think Peter is bi.)

Epithets given to him by the narnians include but are not limited to: the Dragon Spirited King, King Peter the Kind-Hearted, Protector of the People, et cetera.

A few of his unofficial titles given to him by people from surrounding countries are: the Warmonger King, the Berserker, and the Bloody Barbarian. He had a reputation of fighting bloody wars and emerging victorious, and was feared all over the Mainland.

Earned the epithet the Bloody Barbarian because he wore blood red war paint on his face every time he rode to battle. It began right under his eyebrows, fanned out over his temples and down to his cheekbones. His blue eyes shone like gemstones against the dark colour; it made him look like terrifying.

Had long hair— it reached the back of his knees at its longest, but he got caught in a fire and had to have it cut to above his shoulders right before they fell out of Narnia.

Became obsessed with braids when he saw dryads braiding each other's hair the day after the coronation. He set up a tradition for himself— with every battle or duel he won, he would add one braid to his hair. It looked very intricate, and the braid count reached close to forty by the time he fell out of Narnia.

Had severe PTSD from all the wars he fought and from being a child ruler. He hid away when the terrors hit, either in the royal library or in Lucy's chambers. He wouldn't speak for hours and hours, and only got brought out of his thoughts when all his siblings gathered to form a cuddle pile to warm him up.

The chief battle strategist of Narnia, taught by Oreius and assisted heavily by Lucy. Came up with truly ingenious plans and formations. From this, stemmed his love for chess. You would often find him and Susan or Edmund holed up in a corner of the castle with a chessboard between them. He and Lucy refused to play each other, because they knew each other's strategising style too well and the battle on the board always came to a stalemate.

An Old Man at heart, truly. He loved to sleep early and wake up with the sun and have a nice, hot cup of well steeped tea as he listened to one of the castle servants read out the news of the day. Early nights and calm mornings were his favourite. Sadly, he did not often get either of those.

Epitome of academic jock. Very well read and had lots of knowledge and always studied diligently, but he preferred being out on the battlefield or in the arena with Rhindon in his hand and his shield on his arm. Introduced rugby to Narnia, and was the Jousting Champion at the annual Inter-kingdom tournaments for eight years straight til Edmund finally gave in to his pestering and participated, and took the trophy home.

His favourite subjects are History, Strategy and— weirdly enough— the Languages. He and Susan especially enjoy calligraphy. Both of them have extensive collections of luxury writing instruments and inks.

Had so many titles that he started hating writing formal missives by the fifth year of his reign. It was too tedious to write out all of them, so he simply hired a court scribe and called it a day. Even now, he considers hiring that faun the greatest idea he ever had.

[julienbakerpls]

I can see you - Julien Baker x reader 18+

"hey! if u take requests could you do something inspired by i can see you by taylor swift like the lyric ‘i can see you up against the wall with me’ and then like smut"

picture by @/pics.by.dana on ig

ALSO this is RPF if ur uncomfortable with that don't READ ✨

You had been working for boygenius as a guitar tech for the last few weeks of tour, due to their old one having a scheduling conflict. You were enjoying the work, but you were also enjoying getting to be around the boys. They really went out of their way to make sure you felt included in the inter workings of the band and the tour.

Everything was going great, except that you had an overwhelmingly embarrassing crush on Julien.

It was like Julien knew, no matter how great you thought you were at hiding it. They're were the lingering touches, the prolonged eye contact, the way she insisted on sitting right next to you and watching whenever you had to replace strings on her guitar that she'd damaged on stage.

You were loosing your mind with how badly you wanted her.

"Hey, I'm so sorry I broke like 3 strings tonight..." Julien said shyly after getting off stage, the sweat making her white button up cling to her body.

"No problem.... that's what i'm here for right." You laughed gently, walking over to Julien's stage case that held all of her guitars and equipment.

"is it?" You heard Julien whisper under her breath, you heart skipping a beat in your chest.

"What?" you asked trying to make sure you heard her correctly, tripping on a cord as you spun around to look at her. Julien instantly caught you around the waist steadying you, as you faced her.

"Nothing, You're just really great at what you do..." She smiled, tilting her head up to look at you. Her hands tightening around your waist before going to pull away.

"You don't have to.." You said, placing your hands over hers. Julien looked at you questioningly before pushing you back into the space between her case and the wall effectively blocking the two of you from view. She gently pulled your face to hers, kissing you lightly. You kissed back maybe too enthusiastically, causing Julien to smile into the kiss before deepening it. She wrapped one hand around your waist pulling you closer and slotting her thigh between your legs, the other hand softly caressing your cheek. You tangled your hands in her hair pulling gently, causing her to moan into your mouth pulling you down roughly onto her thigh. You gasp into her mouth, biting down on her bottom lip.

"JB?" You hear Lucy call, from somewhere behind Julien both of you instantly untangling yourselves from the other. You look at Julien wide eyed seeing how flushed her face is, she smiles at you covering your mouth with her hand effectively quieting you.

"I think JB already went back to the bus." You hear Phoebe say, along with the sounds of their footsteps leaving.

"That was close..." You whisper into Juliens hand. She smiles letting her hand fall away from your mouth, tracing your lips.

"Jay..." You start to say, Julien cuts you off pressing a kiss to your lips.

She pulls away from you, giving you one last smile before following in the direction of the boys, leaving you panting against the wall. You open the case to start restringing the guitars, but pause seeing that there are no broken strings at all. Smiling to yourself you close and lock the case back, before making your way to the crew buses.

-

"Ten minutes until we're on!" One of the sound guys yelled. You were getting Julien's guitars ready making sure that she wouldn't have to tune anything during the show.

"Hey, can you help me with this?" You turned to see Julien walking towards you, vest completely unbuttoned and rainbow tape in her hands. You felt your mouth start to water at the sight of her.

"Oh uh yeah," You stumbled towards her, she grasped your hand tugging you into the nearest bathroom locking the door behind you, before pressing you up against the door.

"You drive me fucking crazy.." Julien said, biting and sucking along your neck, You grab her hips pulling her into you. You press your thigh between her legs, watching as she visibly jolts when she pressed down onto it.

"Fuck..." Julien whines into your neck, taking one of your hands and pressing it to her breast. You gasp feeling her hard nipple press into your hand. You massage her breast, playing with her nipples loving the way she moans into your neck. Your other hand travels down her toned stomach playing with the button of her slacks. Julien gets inpatient with you, popping the button herself, while still riding your thigh.

"Please baby," She gasps into your neck, biting down beside you collarbone, forcing the breath out of your lungs. You push your hand into juliens boxers feeling how wet and aroused she is, you circle her clit gently. You and julien moan into each others mouth moving closer to sloppily kiss, speeding up your hand before moving it down to push a finger into her. Julien breaks away from the kiss throwing her head back.

"WHERE'S JULIEN? LESS THAN A MINUTE!" You hear someone yell from behind the locked bathroom door. You pull away from Julien quickly taking the rainbow nipple pasties from where they fell from her hands and start applying them to her hard nipples. Julien groans, quickly buttoning her pants, and her vest once you were done with applying the tape.

You unlock the door and let Julien go out first before following. You watch as she gets her guitar on and meets the boys for without you without them. You make your way to side stage, making sure you make eye contact with her before sucking your fingers clean of her. Julien bites her lip to hold back the moan in her throat, while you force yourself not to smile too smugly.

-

You're tuning Julien's banjo before the Nashville date, listening to the boys come up with their drag names. Julien comes out in her full drag elvis look and makes her way over to you.

"What do you think?" Julien smiles doing a spin for you, opening her jacket so you can see her nipple pasties.

"Oh Jay, you looks so good." You say smiling at her, following her with your eyes as she moves to sit next to you.

"Thanks, you know I haven't worn heels in like seven years." Julien laughs when she stretches her legs out.

"You look amazing," You smile, strumming her banjo to make sure it's tuned. Julien smiles, leaning in closer to you.

"You know... I'm planning on sleeping in my own bed tonight," Julien starts off placing a small kiss to your neck.

"Oh yeah?" You ask turning to fully face her placing the banjo on its stand. Julien smiles at you, blush coloring her cheeks.

"Yeah, I was hoping you'd want to join me." She says, pulling one of your hands into her lap. You watch her holding your hand, tracing her tattooed fingers over the lines there.

"Yeah, I'd really like that." You smile, laughing when Julien tugs on your hand pulling you into a soft kiss.

"Shit JB get some!" Phoebe yells behind the two of you. You try to pull away from Julien but she holds you to her continuing to kiss you while she flips off phoebe.

"Honestly it's about time, we were getting sick of watching you two pant after each other," Lucy says, wrapping Phoebe into a hug as they watch the two of you.

Julien pulls away placing one last kiss to your lips, before getting up and pulling you up with her.

"Alright let's go!" Julien says, walking and stumbling slightly but recovering quickly. You laugh, smiling when Julien checks back to see if you noticed and laughing when she sees that you did.

-

Julien came off stage, her wig falling off and her jacket off completely. She knew how crazy her in just nipple covers did to you.

The boys posed for photos for vogue magazine before cleaning the makeup and sweat off of them, while you retuned her guitars and changed strings that needed to be fixed.

"Are you ready baby?" Julien asks coming up behind you just as your locking her case. You smile feeling her wrap herself around you from behind.

"I'm ready when you are." You smile turning in her arms to face her. She smiles up at you now makeup free and in just a plain white tank top, you pull her in for a kiss moaning when you feel that she's not wearing a bra.

"God Julien, I'm so turned on right now," you say against her lips. Julien smiles into the kiss, starting to tug you in the direction of the door.

"I can't wait to get you home, have you against the wall, the bed, in the shower, everywhere I can have you.." Julien says now kissing into your neck.

Julien pulls you out the door and almost immediately pushes you up against her car. Kissing her way down your neck and running her hands over your body and under your shirt. She massages your breasts paying special attention to your nipples, loving the way you gasp into her mouth. She opens the door for you, helping you into the car before going around to the drivers seat.

Julien drives like a maniac blaring Mayhem from her speakers. She has one hand on the wheel the other making it's way into your leggings, she rubs circles into your clit to the beat of the thrash metal song.

"Jay, Oh my god," you gasp, wrapping your hands around her wrist to try and pull her away from you before you cum on her hand in her car. Luckily for you right as you were on the edge Julien whipped the car into her driveway. She was parked and out of the car before you could blink, Julien opened you door pushing you against the car again. She kisses you intensely, wrapping herself around you.

"Julien, you're so fucking perfect, but next time we go anywhere i'm driving," You pull away from her to say, smiling when she laughs with her whole body.

"I'm so sorry, baby I just couldn't wait to get you home.." Julien says kissing you deeply, pressing her body against yours. You moan at the feeling of her pressed against you with no bra and just the thin tank on.

"Fuck, Jay, take me inside please." You whine into her mouth. Julien quickly grabs you by your waist walking you backwards towards the door, and kissing your neck. Laughing when you both stumble up the stairs and into the house.

As soon as the door was closed and locked Julien had you pressed against it, pulling your shirt over your head and throwing it somewhere over her shoulder. She pressed in impossibly closer to you to unclasp your bra throwing that somewhere, before attaching her lips to your nipple and playing with the other. The moans that were falling from your mouth were loud and obscene and just turning her on more.

"Jay," You whined, throwing your head back the two of you laughing when it slams against the door.

"Are you okay, Baby?" Julien asks, reaching up to gently rub your head. You giggle and pull her in for a sweet kiss, loving the feeling of her smiling into it.

"Take this off..." you say, tugging on Juliens tank top, she presses a kiss to your nose before pulling it over her head. You hardly suppress the moan in your throat at the sight of her shirtless. You launch yourself into her arms forcing Julien up against the wall, palming her breasts and kissing down her neck. Julien gasps pulling you up to kiss her, the kiss is deep and heated stealing both of your breath away. You trail your hands down her body pushing one hand into the front of her pants loving the way she arches up into you. You let one finger circle her clit, gathering her wetness on your fingers and pushing that finger into her. Julien pants into the kiss, pressing her body further into you. You slide a second finger in pressing you palm against her clit, kissing her neck when she gets too caught up to keep kissing.

"Uh fuck, princess," Julien gasps when you bite down on her collar bone, and adding a third finger. You feel her body start to tense, legs shaking. You press her more firmly to the wall to steady her and Julien clenches down on your fingers. She cums with her head on your shoulder, whining into your ear how good your making her feel.

once Julien comes down from her high she's on you with renewed energy, pulling you up the stairs and into her bedroom. She pushes you on the bed, before attacking the waist band of your leggings. She almost rips them in her fierce struggle to get them off of you along with your underwear in one not so swift motion. You can't help laughing when she looks so pleased with herself holding both pieces of clothing up for you to see. She throws her head back laughing before launching herself at you. You're still giggling when Julien kisses you, both of you now naked and panting.

"I've been watching you for ages, and I spent my time trying not to feel it... but now I get to touch you.." Julien said, running her hands over your body, pushing your thighs farther apart and making a space for herself between your legs.

Julien kisses and sucks her way down your body pausing only to suck love bites into your skin wherever she pleases. The two of you fought this off for so long, and it was no surprise to you how intense everything felt with her.

"Please," You pant, tangling your hands in her hair, Julien finally decides to stop torturing you and spreads your drenched folds with one of her calloused hands. She lets her tongue rub back and forth along your seam, drinking in your wetness and moaning at the taste. You gasp at the vibrations her moans are causing before she roughly sucks your clit into her mouth, pushing a finger into you at the same time.

"Julien!" You call out, eyes rolling back into your head, you tug on her hair causing her to moan louder into your folds.

Julien thrusts her fingers in and out of you at such a deliciously fast rythme, keeping pace with her sucking on your clit your convinced you've died and gone to heaven. You feel the knots in your stomach start to tighten, getting impossibly tighter when Julien moves one hand you to pinch your nipples. You back arches off the bed involuntarily, causing Julien to force you back onto the bed with her mouth, the added pressure sending you hurtling over the edge. Your vision goes completely white for all of 10 seconds before you start to make out shapes and eventually Julien herself. She's looking up at you as she licks up your cum, the sight sending you over the edge yet again.

Julien takes her time cleaning you up, before she crawls up to your sprawled out frame. Kissing your body along the way, she smiles down at you.

"Jay, I don't even know how to describe how good that was l," You start but she cuts you off with a sweet kiss before pulling you into her arms. Just as the two of you drift off into peaceful slumber, tangled naked in her bedsheets you hear Julien whisper "Baby if you only knew," Before your sound asleep.

[toothpastecanyon]

Return, to the Scene of the Crime

Playing human again, Alcor makes it longer than he usually does. He's in college now, juggling classes, family, a curious vampire, and a strange, increasingly sinister web of mysteries weaving themselves around him. Without his omniscience to guide the way, he'll have to work hard to get to the bottom of this before it spirals out of control.

See most updated version on Archive of Our Own.

______________________________________________________________

Lucy Ann was asleep when her phone rang. She grumbled and turned over, fishing in her pocket to mute it. Then it rang again, and with a heavy sigh, she cracked open an eyelid to see who it was.

“Alcor,” she muttered. “Ugh… fine, alright.”

Sitting up, she pushed the lid of the coffin open, and shielded her phone from the screams in the funeral home as she put it to her ear.

“Yeah, what?”

“Lucy Ann?”

“Yeah, it’s me, dude.” She rubbed her eyes. “What is it? Kinda in the middle of something here.”

“Oh, do you want me to – I can call back-”

“What is it?”

She heard him take a deep breath, and rolled her eyes. She stood up and stretched as he seemed to collect his thoughts.

“I…” he started. “I’m going away for a while. I wanted to call you before I… I won’t be summonable, so I wanted to let you know how to, how to reach me if you need me.”

“Ah, this is one of these Noie deals, huh? Glad you’re finally giving me a heads up.”

“Yeah, I don’t – I-I know how it went last time, I don’t want that to happen again.”

Lucy Ann glanced down at the glove on her hand. He kept going.

“So I’m giving you a special circle you can use to contact me – uh, it’ll break my enchantments, so if it could be an emergencies only kind of thing…?”

“Got it.”

“Okay… yeah, thanks. And if you need to see me in person, I’ll be down in the California Isles. The family’s really nice – they, hah, they actually own a funeral home-”

“No way! In Maine?”

“In- no, California. I just told you-”

“Oh, yeah! Right.” Lucy Ann gave a little chuckle as she looked at an urn. “Sorry, I got carried away there. That would’ve been a hell of a coincidence.”

“What?”

“Don’t worry about it, uh,” she cleared her throat. “Okay. That sounds good. Thanks for letting me know, Al.”

“Of course. I’ll send the circle to you and then… get set up.” He seemed like he wanted to say more; after a moment, he spoke again. “So, uh, see you in a couple decades?”

“Yeah, see you then,” she said, and then grinned. “Or who knows, maybe I’ll pay a visit.”

“Pay a visit? What?”

“Yeah. Maybe I’ll see if you loosen up a bit without that demon angst you’ve always got going on.” She heard him laugh, and gave a little chuckle herself… but soon it faded, and she cleared her throat again. “Uh, anyway, good luck with that, I guess. See you around.”

“Thanks. I’ll see you.”

When Lucy Ann hung up the call, the little joke she’d made about dropping in on him had already slipped her mind. For almost twenty years she went on wandering as she always did, thinking of Alcor only rarely, wondering how he was doing. She wasn’t ever thinking of actually following through on that joke… but, you know, sometimes things don’t happen for anything as grand as fate or careful planning.

Sometimes they just fall into place.

She was bouncing around the Isles when she remembered Alcor. googled the name of that funeral home he’d given her, as she sometimes did – just to see if they were still in business, but she came across a little blog post the owners posted: ‘HE GOT INTO HONORS COLLEGE!!!’ It was a picture of Dipper with a dorky smile and a graduation cap, and she couldn’t help but snicker to herself at the glowing paragraphs his parents had posted to their business page. Jeez, he was still going, wasn’t he? She didn’t want to be rude on the phone, but she was expecting this thing to flame out early as it usually did.

So… he was just living the regular human life, huh?

Huh.

…

Lucy Ann looked around the motel room she was in, decided she didn’t have anything interesting going on, and started packing.

______________________________________________________________

“Murdered! She was murdered!”

“Dude.”

“I can’t believe it, who would do this! I just can’t-”

“Dude, Darren!” Dipper put his hands on the guy’s shoulders. “Keep your voice down. I thought you came to me because you didn’t want the RA to hear!”

Lucy Ann chuckled a bit as Darren shut his mouth. She watched Dipper walk back to the bird cage under the dorm room bed. There was a little pile of ash under the perch; opening the cage, he pinched some between his fingers.

“Look,” Dipper said. “Nobody killed your phoenix, okay? This isn’t phoenix ash.”

“Wha- what?”

“Phoenix ash is highly magical.” He brought out a little necklace tucked under his shirt; there was a dull blue glass pendant on the end of it, and nothing happened when he brought the ash to it. “See? My necklace lights up when it’s repelling magic, and it’s getting nothing here. It’s just regular ash.”

Darren sniffed and wiped his nose. “So… so Flamey’s alive?”

“Yeah. Don’t worry, man, she’s alive.” He paused, meaningfully. “But… someone wanted you to think she was dead.”

Darren gasped. Lucy Ann watched with a grin as Dipper got to his feet, dusting off his hands.

“My guess is it’s some kind of prank, but it could be that someone stole your phoenix for themselves. Who else knows about Flamey?”

“I-I don’t… no one, I think!” He wrung his shirt. “I mean my dorm mate does, but he wouldn’t steal her – Alex hates living with her!”

“Hates living with her, eh?” Lucy Ann raised her eyebrows at Dipper. “Maybe it’s not been stolen to keep.”

“That’s exactly what I thought,” Dipper nodded to himself. Darren leaned in further.

“You think… you think Alex murdered Flamey?”

“No, I told you, no one murdered-” There was a knock at the door just then, and Dipper looked up. “Hello?”

“Uh, hello?” Said the voice. “This is my room, who’s in here?”

“That’s Alex,” Darren murmured, and then he called out: “Just some friends of mine!”

The door opened slowly, and Alex popped his head in, frowning. “Uh, okay. Hey, Darren, how long are they gonna be here? I’ve gotta study.”

“Oh, we’re just wrapping up,” Dipper said, letting what he probably thought was a very sly smile snake across his face. “But, uh… Alex, was it? I just got one question for you.”

“Uh, sure?”

“You got a lighter?”

Alex frowned. “A lighter? No.”

“Oh, okay.” Dipper glanced across the room. “That’s weird, then. You got a scented candle on your desk.”

Darren groaned. “I hate that candle, man, it smells like old people. And isn’t it, like, a fire hazard?”

“Fire hazard?” Alex crossed his arms. “Seriously, man? You’re going on about a fire hazard?”

“You don’t like that he keeps a phoenix under his bed, do you?”

Alex blinked, and then scowled at Dipper. “Yeah, duh, would you?”

“So you stole it.”

“So- wait, what? I didn’t – hey, who is this guy, Darren?”

“You stole Flamey?” Darren stared slackjawed at him. “You did, didn’t you!”

“And then you burned some paper and planted it in her cage so he’d think she was dead.” Dipper crossed his arms. “Pets aren’t allowed in the dorms, so you thought Darren wouldn’t report it to anybody. It was the perfect crime!”

“I… I…” Alex blinked a few times, then huffed and threw up his hands. “Okay, fine! I gave her to my aunt!”

“Alex!”

“And I’d do it again! You know what the real crime is? Keeping a flaming fucking bird in a tiny cage under your bed! I was doing you and her a favour!”

“I can’t believe you! You get her back, okay! You get her back or, or… or I’ll tell the RA about the candles!”

“Oh-hoh, okay, you tell them about the candles and I’ll tell them about the giant bird you had under your bed! We’ll see what they’re more interested in!”

“Flamey!”

Dipper and Lucy Ann strolled out of the dorm room together. Lucy Ann took one look at his smug face and poked him in the ribs.

“Wha- hey! What was that for?”

“If your head gets any bigger it’s not gonna fit in the doorway.” She smirked at him. “I guess you did okay, though. Quick thinking on the ash.”

“Yeah, heh…” He rubbed his side. “That was not what I expected when Darren came over. Still, that was pretty good, wasn’t it? It was like being a detective!”

“You’re a real Sherlock Holmes.”

With a laugh, Dipper unlocked his dorm, held it open for her, and followed her in. It was a tiny space, but at least it was a one-bedroom; a bunk bed slotted against one wall, and a desk was crammed against the other, leaving only a narrow walkway from the door to a tiny square of window. Dipper’s desk was covered in books and notes; his magi-orb was open but asleep, and he made his way over to wake it up.

On the way, he got a little tangled with the sleeping bag on the floor – more accurately, this used to be a one-bedroom. Lucy Ann snorted.

“Hey, you’re stepping on my pillows!”

“Oops, sorry.” He watched her lounge out on the floor with a raised eyebrow. “You know, you sure you still want to stay here?”

“Yup.” She picked up a book beside her bed, and glanced over at him. “What, you tired of me?”

“No, no! I just – I mean, it’s been so cool to meet the real Lucy Ann, but I still don’t get why you’ve decided to hang around me.” He watched her face twist into a knowing grin, and rolled his eyes. “You’re never gonna tell me why, are you.”

She just winked at that, and buried her head in her book. Shaking his head, he turned back to his magi-orb and tapped it a few times; it flared to life, and Dipper’s necklace gave off a soft blue glow as he started scrolling. A news article popped up, and he clicked on it.

“Huh.” He said to himself. “Hey, you remember that jewellery store robbery last week?”

“No.”

“It was that one super close to campus – we got alerts about it.”

She just shrugged, so he started reading off the article.

“Suspect in jewellery store stick up still at large after mysterious disappearance, magical influence suspected.” His eyes skipped further down. “Oh, nice, looks like the guy he shot got out of the hospital today.”

“Good for him.”

“Mysterious disappearance… they say he went into a back room away from the cameras and just disappeared. No windows in the room either, isn’t that weird?”

Finally, Lucy Ann glanced up from her book and gave him an odd look. “Yeah, I guess it’s weird. Why, you wanna rob a jewellery store or something? It’s not as fun as it sounds.”

“No, I’m just… how did he disappear like that?” He sat back in his chair, stroking his chin. “I mean, locked room, no windows-”

Lucy Ann let out the biggest groan. “Oh, no. You call a guy Sherlock once and he becomes insufferable – if you start reading every random crime report to me I really will leave, okay?”

“Okay, okay!” He put his hands up. “Sheesh. I just thought it was a cool mystery. You don’t have to bite my head off.”

“I’m not biting your head off, I’m just saying that’s cop shit.” She flashed a fanged grin at him. “Come on, your life’s too short to care who makes off with some pretty rocks or whatever. The world’s full of way more interesting mysteries than that.”

“Hm.” He sat there for a second, and then reached out and closed the news article. “I guess you’re right.”

She watched him sit back, and sat up. “Hey, you wanna do something tonight?”

“Huh?”

“You know, go out somewhere. I saw this thing the other day for an escape room – you ever done one of those?”

“I haven’t. That sounds cool, but…”

“You gotta study?”

“Ahh,” he checked his phone. “Actually, Mom texted, asked if I could drop some groceries off at home tonight. I’ll probably stay for dinner.”

“Oh, okay.” Lucy Ann sat back and picked up her book again. “Sounds good.”

______________________________________________________________

Quicksilver Funeral Home & Crematory was on the southernmost tip of the New Fresno Peninsula, about a fifty minute’s drive from Dipper’s university. It was, politely, in the middle of nowhere; Dipper always smiled when he remembered the long, lazy days he spent in the forests behind his house… just as much as he’d remember the long drive to school, the friends he could never casually invite over. As remote as it was, though, his dad always liked to remind him that at least they were on the mainland.

“Oh, we’re hardly in the middle of nowhere, son. If you wanna see the middle of nowhere, take a skylift out to one of those floating islands down south. Poor saps are so remote their dead get brought to us in helicopters!”

It was, if not a convincing argument, a very illustrative one. Dipper thought of his dad’s voice as he pulled up the driveway, and a little grimace tugged his lips down. He turned off his car, glanced at the groceries on the seat next to him, and sighed.

Then he sat up, opened the door, and got out. Picking up the groceries, he made his way to the side entrance and rang the doorbell. There was a muffled, “I got it,” and footsteps up to the door.

It unlatched, swung open, and revealed his sister in the doorway. Mallory nodded at him.

“Hey,” she said, and stepped aside to let him in. He smiled at her.

“Hey, Mal. Got the groceries!”

“I see that. Need a hand?”

“No, I got it, thanks.” He headed down the hallway into the kitchen. “Hey, Mom! That smells great!”

“Dipper!” His Mom looked up from a pot of bubbling soup; her face creased into a smile, and she gave him a big hug. “It’s so great to see you, honey!”

“It’s great to see you too – oh, watch out, eggs!” He put the bags on the counter before hugging back. “How’ve you been? Where’s Dad?”

“He’s in the living room with Mallory – I can put all this away if you wanna see him!”

“You sure?”

“Of course! He’ll be delighted to see you!”

The living room was just around the corner; Dipper hesitated for a second before walking in.

“Hey, Dad.”

His Dad was sitting back in his favourite green armchair, and for a second Dipper could just pretend he’d fallen asleep in it as he loved to do, and him and Mallory were two giggling kids about to balance as many toys as they could on his body until he finally woke up, made a show of stretching and going, “Whoa, what’s all this!” as they both shrieked with laughter. He could see it so clearly… but then there was the bed behind him, hastily dragged down the stairs into the living room, and the hospital wheelchair at the foot of it. His Dad’s eyes were closed, but they were struggling to open; his head fell to the side, and he gave a lopsided smile, a weak wave. Dipper waved back, and then he moved in closer to give him a hug.

“It’s good to see you.” He said, squeezing carefully, and then standing up. Mallory put a hand on his shoulder; he glanced at her. “How’s he… I-I mean, how’re you doing, Dad?”

There was a pause, and then his hand flopped very deliberately to the side, as if to say, “How do you think?” His eyebrow quirked up too, and Dipper gave a little laugh.

“Yeah, hah, makes, makes sense.”

“We’ve been doing some exercises,” Mallory said; she turned on the TV, picked up a foam ball, and gently opened their Dad’s hand to place it in. “Do you know there’s one where you’re supposed to crumple up a sheet of paper? That’s been my favourite.”

“Hah, really?” He looked towards the bin, which was overflowing with tightly-crumpled balls of notepaper. “Hey, he’s doing really well on that one!”

Mallory didn’t respond; she shrugged obliquely, and then crushed a sheet of paper between her hands. His smile turned awkward.

“Oh, uh…” He rubbed his neck. “So! What are we watching?”

Dinner was ready soon. Dipper helped his Dad into the wheelchair, and Mallory guided him into the dining room. Their Mom had set out plates; they all took a seat, Mallory next to her Dad. Dipper watched him pick up a spoon with a shaking hand and dip it into the soup.

“So how’re classes going, honey?”

“Huh?” Dipper blinked, and looked to his Mom. “Oh! Um, they’re going good… yeah, good.”

“That’s good.” She smiled. “Midterms are coming up, aren’t they?”

“Yeah!”

“Ooh, how’re you feeling about that?”

“Pretty, pretty prepared, I think!” He grinned. “And then it’ll be winter break soon! I can come back home for Christmas.”

“That’ll be great, honey! We’ve missed having you around. And you know, we could use a little help around the-”

“I’m doing the best I can.”

Mallory’s voice cut her right off. She saw them both stare at her, and narrowed her eyes.

“What? I just said I’m doing the best I can.” She glared at their Mom. “You’re talking like I’m not doing anything around here, I just wanted to say I am doing stuff, okay?”

“I didn’t say that, honey, we really appreciate-”

“I know, I’m just saying-”

“-could help take some things off your plate-”

“I was just saying-!” Mallory stopped and put up her hands. “You know what, forget I said anything.”

“Honey-”

“I said forget it, Mom.”

“But-”

“Forget it, okay? I don’t want to do this again.”

The room froze into a tense silence. Dipper glanced nervously between the two of them, and took a long drink of water. There was a grunting sound from across the table; their Dad was pointing at something.

“Dad?” Dipper blinked. “What do you-”

“He wants the salt.” Mallory rubbed her forehead. “Dad, I told you, you’re not supposed to have too much-”

“Oh, just give him the salt, dear.”

Mallory froze. She looked up at their Mom, grabbed the salt, and slammed it down on the table next to their Dad before getting up and walking away. A door shut hard down the hallway; their Mom gave Dipper a tight smile.

“Sorry, honey.” She said. “She’s not… she’s finding this all a bit hard to adjust to. But she’s really happy to see you!”

“Yeah…” Dipper looked down at the soup. He half stood up; then looked at her. “Can I…?”

“Oh, of course! She’s probably in the crematorium.”

Dipper nodded, and followed after her. There was a door by the stairs that opened into the main foyer of the funeral home; he passed by the front desk, by an empty viewing room filled with chairs, up to a door tucked away in the back with a very clear ‘EMPLOYEES ONLY’ sign. Through there was the crematorium: its concrete floors, stainless steel gurneys, and safety tape stood in stark, clinical contrast to the rest of the building, but Dipper had long since gotten used to this place. The shining metal cremation machine dominated the middle of the space, and though it wasn’t on, there was a whirring sound behind it. Dipper walked past a row of body freezers set into the wall to find Mallory.

“Uh, hey,” he said. She was standing arms crossed in front of a little glass kiln, and didn’t look up at his voice. He hung back, a nervous smile on his face. “Mal? Are you okay?”

Mallory raised her eyebrows. “Oh, yeah,” she said. “Doing great.”

“Mal-”

“You want a plate?” She sifted through a little pile of things next to the kiln. “I was saving this for you – here.”

She held out a small, multicoloured glass plate. Dipper blinked as he took it from her; he held it up to the light, and marvelled at the colours splashing on the side of his hand. “Wow, this is really pretty! Is this enchanted too?”

The slight smile on Mallory’s face vanished. “No, it’s just a plate. Why would I enchant a plate?”

“Oh, I just-”

“Your necklace was a lot of work, you know. I don’t do that for every single thing I make! Sometimes I just want to make a fucking plate, okay?”

“Okay, sorry!” He watched her turn away. “Mal, I’m sorry! I didn’t- it’s really good, thank you!”

“Oh, I don’t know, you sure you don’t want me to melt it down and put an enchantment on it first?”

“No, no…” He sighed. “I’m sorry, Mal, that was really dumb of me. I really like the plate, okay? Thank you for giving it to me.”

“Hm.” She stayed like that for a second, then looked back and grinned at him. “You’re welcome, dummy. I’m glad you like it.”

He grinned back. “I do, it’s really beautiful! How’d you get all the colours like that? I’ve never seen something like this from you.”

“Huh, that? Oh, I started buying this coloured glass scrap.” She opened a drawer; in it was a box full of big and small shards of coloured glass. “You can get it in bulk for super cheap – nobody gave me a scholarship for this, so I make do.”

Another sharp remark – Dipper cringed again. “Mal?” He asked, and she started picking through the shards. “Are you… is everything okay?”

“No, obviously, everything’s not okay.” She took a look at his expression and rolled her eyes. “Look, it’s not- I’ll survive. It’s fine.”

“Mal…”

“It’s hard on us all right now, okay?” She sighed. “I shouldn’t have done that with Mom over dinner. She’s just been – just been getting on my nerves lately, you know?” She picked up a blue shard, and looked through it. “Just on and on about how I’m so good with the families, I should totally take over!”

Dipper rolled his eyes. “Oh, god, yeah.”

“She even found a mortuary sciences course at my college, just tried to ‘casually’ bring it up to me the other day.” A chuckle. “You know how she acts when she thinks she’s being subtle.”

“Heh, yeah… how’s your classes going?”

“I withdrew this semester.”

“Oh… Oh, jeez, I’m sorry. I didn’t realise.” He watched her pause, staring into the middle distance. He stepped a little closer. “You know, Mom and Dad always said they only wanted us to take over if we wanted to. I don’t think she’d want you to feel obligated.”

“Yeah, but I am obligated, aren’t I?” She glared at him. “What are they gonna do now if I leave? Mom can't run this whole place on her own.”

“They always said they’d hire-”

“Hire someone else, yeah, like they can afford that right now.” Rolling her eyes, she pushed off the counter and started pacing. “And they can’t sell the place either – where’s Mom gonna find another job? No, unless Dad gets better fast, I’m stuck here.”

“You’re not-” Dipper struggled for words. “You don’t have to… it’s not your responsibility. They wouldn’t want you to feel like this.”

“Oh, okay then.” She stopped, and looked straight at him. “So how about I leave, and you come back home to take care of Dad. How’s that sound?”

Dipper blinked. “I…” he started, and frowned as she flashed a grin. “Hey, come on, Mal, that’s not… You’re not being fair.”

She scoffed at that, and crossed her arms.

“Mal-”

“I’m not actually asking you to do that – obviously. But it’s you or me, okay? And if it’s gonna be me, can you stop acting like I could just walk away from them?”

Dipper hesitated, and then he sighed. “You’re… you’re right. I’m sorry. That sounds really hard.”

“Thank you,” she rubbed her eyes. “Look, how about you just go back to dinner?”

“What? What about you?”

“I’ll be out in a bit, I just…” She looked back at the shards she’d taken out, picked one up, and tossed it back into the drawer. “I just need to cool off.”

“Wh… you sure? I can stay here if you-”

“It’s fine.” Glancing back at him, she managed a smile. “It’s fine, okay? I’ll be out soon.”

Dipper lingered for a second longer, and then, with a sigh, he turned and made for the door. One last glance over the shoulder showed how he left her: a small figure hunched over a desk, disappearing behind the machinery.

He opened the door, and walked away.

______________________________________________________________

“You’re back late,” Lucy Ann said as he made his way into his dorm the next morning. “I thought you were only staying for dinner?”

“Yeah… I was just, I was trying to be helpful.” He closed the door, and leaned against it for a second. “It’s just… it’s like… do you think I’m…?”

Lucy Ann watched him for a moment, her eyebrow slowly arching. “Do I think you’re what?”

“It’s… nevermind.” With a sigh, he went to his desk and tapped his magi-orb. “I’m only here to pick up some stuff for class. Are you coming?”

“Depends, what you got on?”

“Uh… public speaking’s first – shoot, my presentation’s today!”

With a cackle she hopped to her feet. “Oh, I’m definitely coming for that one!”

Dipper shook his head at her, but before he could reply, there came a knock at the door. Lucy Ann groaned.

“Shit, is that the RA?”

“I’ll see… uh, hello? Who is it?”

“Dude, it’s Darren!”

“Oh, thank the stars.” She dropped her sleeping bag. “I didn’t want to have to hide again.”

Dipper frowned as he opened the door. “Darren? What’s up?”

“Hey, dude!” Darren looked a little out of breath, but he perked up at the sight of him. “Oh, I forgot to tell you the other day – thanks for finding Flamey for me! Alex drove me over and-”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re welcome,” Dipper started to close the door. “Look, I gotta get to class-”

“Oh, wait! That wasn’t what I came over for!”

“Huh?”

“I was telling my buddy Marsh about how you found her the other day – and you know, Alex’s aunt, she actually has a whole aviary, it’s amazing! She has so much room to fly around-”

“Darren…”

“Right, right! So I was telling Marsh about how crazy it was when you put all the clues together, and he was saying he could use your help!”

Lucy Ann snorted. “Congrats, on the new job, Dipper. Campus animal control.”

“I don’t-” Dipper looked from her to Darren. “I don’t know, man. What’s the problem?”

“It was something about a weird ghost in his apartment… I-I don’t remember exactly, but I said I’d give you his number and he could tell you about it!”

“A ghost?” Dipper blinked. He opened the door a little wider. “Huh… Uh, yeah, what’s his number? I gotta go… like right now, but I can call him after class! What was his name, Marsh?”

Behind them, Lucy Ann shook her head. She wanted to know what he was like without demon powers?

It turns out he wasn’t so different – he could still be such a dork.

[ash-azzzz]

Rating Hazbin Hotel Ships

!!! THIS IS MY OPINION !!!

Huskerdust : 100/10 absolutely love. i rlly think angel could use someone who is good to him and for him. I rlly like the idea that they'll be super sweet and not rush into anything. I rlly hope husk has a part in freeing angel from vals control if that even happens later in the show!

radiohusk : -1000/10 i rlly dont like alastor ships (for more info on why read last post.) if its platonic then sure but romantic -or god forbin sexual- no.

radiodust : -1010/10 i like this one even less. we know alastor has no interes in anyone, let alone angel (as shown in episode one angel talks about filming him and al going at it as the hotel ad and al laughs and says it'll never happen)

radiostatic : -1,000,000/10 it would be so one sided like omgg. like vox obsessed with al and al being repulsed by him. that is a horrible relationship for voxs mental health.

radioapple : 0/10 could be worse. i get people like enemies to lovers but brah they arent lovers and never will be. like platonic divorsed dads for charlie is fine but people writing about/drawing them going at it like rabbits is just 😬🫣

adams apple : 4/10 not my fav but i can def see where people are coming from. Like in the fight when luci says "im gonna fuck you" he totally could have ment that as "i got both your wives and now i want you." if adam is even in season 2 (tries to get redemed after he died ends up in hell) i wouldnt be too horribly surprised if they end up having a fling or a possible relationship of some kind. still suprised but not too bad

appledust : 3/10 i like them platonically. like they gossip abt the guys/girls they like, talk shit abt val and alastor, vent to each other, cry together, laugh together, and try and get one another with who ever they want (i.e angel w/ husk and luci w/ whoever he might want so like adam if a fling does happen)

chaggie : 10/10 i LOVE them i just want them to have more flavor. i need their relationship to get fleshed out more. like we had one little fight and a sweet like 1 min song. I WANT MORE from the only lesbian couple in that damn show.

sir pen x cherri : 7/10 i love the dynamic despite how little of it we got in the show. like hes hopeless and she that bitch. i rlly hope cherri ends up trying to redeem herself to meet pen in heaven.

cherri x angel : 2/10 platonic is cool but romantic jusy doesnt seem right to me since angel is gay. i honestly dont know how i feel abt their friendship long term because cherri doesnt seem like too great of an influence on him.

adam x lute : 4/10 probably just one sided as fuck. like no way lute didnt have feelings for adam. he made her and she was his favorite ofc she was going to fall in love but i dont think he liked her back man.

lucifer x lilith : 2/10. all im sayin is they divorsed for a reason :/

LMK IF I MISSED ANY ^_^

[luminique]

You did say you wanted the Lighter and his new spouse's wedding reception so here it is.

The wedding reception venue is at Cheesetopia. I will fight anyone who thinks Lighter doesn't want his reception there. He fought Ethereals for Cheesetopia to have a door. He wants his wedding reception there. Because of the wedding, Casa, Burnice, Wise, and Belle made Cheesetopia look so beautiful and the food and drinks taste so good that Cheesetopia became the number one spot in the Outer Ring to hold wedding receptions after someone in the Inter-Knot talked about the wedding.

The wedding reception was a blast. Lighter asked Billy to DJ and he was serious about being Lighter's DJ. Billy plays a mix of country, rock, alternative, techno, rap, and pop and no one is left out thinking they can't dance to any song he has on the playlist. You also asked Lucy and Caesar to play piano and sing for their first dance as a couple. The two of you happily dance once Lucy starts playing and Caesar starts singing. Lighter might not have the most elegant dance moves, but you don't care, Lighter and you are having fun! It was the same for the last dance.

Actually, every dancing time was fun during the reception. You had a special dance with your parents, Lighter had a dance number with the Sons of Calydon with Piper even acting energetic during the dance, and your family and his family had a dance-off on who's family is the best at doing line dancing. Billy played five line dance songs back-to-back until he finally told them they were both good at line dancing. The wedding album has a dozen photos of the dance-off.

The speeches at the wedding were beautiful. Your family thanked the Sons of Calydon for accepting you into their family. They thank Lighter for being a good man to you and hope that you two have a great future. Big Daddy gave the speech and talked about how you changed Lighter's life for the better because they all remembered how aloof and reserved Lighter was before you came into his life. He thanked your family for accepting Lighter even after they all found out about his past and how he and the Sons of Calydon are glad that Lighter has another family that cares about him.

The cake-cutting was fun. Lighter and you had linked your arms together when you two fed each other the cake.

Then, it was the bouquet and garter toss. Lighter went first. Big Daddy caught it, but then he gave it to Billy who then gave it to Woody, Grassy, and Bricky who then gave it to Bellum (Lighter invited him) who then gave it to Wise. He kept it. When it was your turn, Caesar was ready. Lucy, Burnice, Casa, and Belle were there to make sure she didn't go overboard. Piper didn't join. Of course, Caesar won the toss.

When the reception was almost done, and Lighter and you were ready to exit, Lighter picked up you. He told you his home was with you and the open road, so his motorcycle served as his house. You laughed all the way to his (and technically now your) motorcycle. You and Lighter waved everyone goodbye as you two rode off into the night.

HELLO ?!?! im being so serious that you NEED to make your own blog and release your own posts because i will eat it up EVERY SINGLE TIME !!

THIS IS SO CUTE !! AND THE ENDING TOO HAS ME GIGGLING ARKDHAKDHJD i could DEFINITELY see the SoC putting on some sort of fire/fireworks (especially burnice). it would just be so sweet and so personal i feel

the lighter brainrot is so real and all of you are fueling it. THANK YOU FOR THIS !! i am reading it before bed and will now dream about the whole sequence hehe

[boygeniuspolls]

fav time one boy sang another boy’s song

-lucy singing good news

-julien singing motion sickness

-phoebe singing night shift

-lucy singing graceland too

-julien singing we’re in love

good news - https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-oY9-C62Dgk

motion sickness - https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ab-9zF4n9eA

night shift - https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QuRuSP7hhU0

graceland too - https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xX9WLFD6YdE

we’re in love - https://www.instagram.com/reel/C22lKoTuBcj/?igsh=MTIzZDR4bndtbWo3MA== (couldn’t find a youtube link sorry)

[hotvintagepoll]

this is a poll for a movie that doesn't exist.

It is vintage times. The powers that be have decided to again remake the classic vampire novel Dracula for the screen. in an amazing show of inter-studio solidarity, Hollywood’s most elite hotties are up for the starring roles. the producers know whoever they cast will greatly impact the genre, quality, and tone of the finished film, so they are turning to their wisest voices for guidance.

you are the new casting director for this star-studded epic. choose your players wisely.

Previously cast:

Jonathan Harker—Jimmy Stewart

The Old Woman—Martita Hunt

Count Dracula—Gloria Holden

Mina Murray—Setsuko Hara

Lucy Westenra—Judy Garland (rip)

The Three Voluptuous Women—Betty Grable, Marilyn Monroe, and Lauren Bacall

The Agonized Mother—Mary Philbin (rip)

Dr. Jack Seward—Vincent Price

Quincey P. Morris—Toshiro Mifune

Arthur Holmwood—Sidney Poitier

R.M. Renfield—Conrad Veidt

The Captain of the Demeter—Omar Sharif (rip)

The First Mate of the Demeter—Leonard Nimoy (rip)

Mr. Swales—Ed Wynn (rip)

The Correspondent for The Daily Graph—Ethel Waters

Dracula in dog form—Frank Oz with a puppet

Sister Agatha—Angela Lansbury

Mrs. Westenra—Gladys Cooper (rip)

Dracula's solicitors—Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee

Dr. Van Helsing—Orson Welles

Thomas Bilder, zookeeper—Lon Chaney Jr.

Thomas Bilder's wife—Elsa Lanchester

The Reporter from the Pall Mall Gazette—Hattie McDaniel

The carriers are working class men dropping off some heavy boxes of dirt who get berated and then attacked by Renfield outside the asylum. They then successfully talk Dr. Hennessey into buying them several rounds at the pub as payback. Today's Dracula Daily episode can be found here.

[unmechanism]

I listened yesterday evening to a 1965 radio adaptation of Dracula from Le Théâtre de l'Étrange a French radio show on the France Inter station. It was terrible for a plethora of reasons but I decided to compile some of the worst ones here :

everyone is either moaning or screaming, the women are moaning all the time, at every single occasions and threatening to scream nearly as much, and everyone's screaming is freakishly long

They all pronounce Jonathan's name as Jonathan HarPer for some unknown reason

And to be fair, it doesn't rlly matter cause he just dies at castle Dracula after being there for two days at most, killed by the three brides just before the count leaves Transylvania

Lucy is both Hawkins' daughter (yes, she is called Lucy Hawkins) and Jonathan's fiancée (guess it doesn't matter all that much that he dies cause she dies as well so who cares??)

Mina is married to Quincey Morris (don't ask)

Renfield dies impaled on a metal gate while trying to go find Dracula at his London house

Van Helsing does not exist, he just doesn't, Seward just randomly knows about vampires, from like, reading a book

Dracula has insanely rapey vibes, but both Mina and Lucy seem unable to resist him at some point and the whole thing is made very sensual, moany and weird, especially Lucy's death

Mina gets her scar while Seward and Quincey are fighting Dracula in his London crypt, and apparently she keeps it cause it's never mentioned again

Jonathan supposedly becomes a vampire, the three brides and him are alive and well in Transylvania probably, it does not matter at all to the story

Arthur does not exist (what would be the point ? Lucy's with Jonathan anyway)

Quincey survives the final fight, but has to talk about how he's frightened 70% of the time for no actual reason, I'm pretty sure he's not American and in this adaptation he's a journalist

there's definitely more I can't remember just now, but believe me when I tell you that I was seething

if you wanna listen to it, the whole thing is on YouTube, it's fairly short but I'll be honest and tell you that it is not worth it