#instead of stressing 247

[gatorgrumbles]

Trunks relaxing finally

[pttucker]

Hmm. So, after the Gourmet Association, I'm starting to wonder (and worry) about a few things.

They were hardcore trashing Joonghyuk for not being a constellation himself and, thinking about it, I don't think Dokja has ever mentioned Joonghyuk being a constellation? AFAIK he's never mentioned a modifier he may have had or his own stigma or even said something like "oh I'm a constellation now, it took Yoo Joonghyuk X stories to become one" or something like that. On flip side, he's also never outright said that he couldn't be one or that he never became one.

I mean, the way ORV is written, Dokja keeps everything close to the chest so maybe it's just being saved for a big reveal later but it does make me wonder if Joonghyuk can't become one due to the regression constraints (we already know he's not allowed to inherit the stories of other constellations) or maybe it has something to do with being a transcendent.

If he can become one, I wonder if and when he will. Dokja's talk with Anna after the banquet kind of highlighted that Dokja is lowkey "stealing" the achievements from others since Dokja was aware that Iris wouldn't actually die and in fact would have been greatly improved but used it as an opportunity for himself instead. In early scenarios in particular, Dokja says multiple times that he knew to do something because someone else (usually Joonghyuk) did it first. Such as destroying the Throne.

Of course, he doesn't always copy others, especially as we get more into the story. Dokja himself says:

So far, I had always made a different choice from Yoo Joonghyuk. I wasn't Yoo Joonghyuk. Amidst the strong backlash, I always walked on a different path. (Chapter 247)

And when Dokja reads the revised TWSA it's Joonghyuk that begins copying his path at times.

...Which may or may not have been Joonghyuk's path in a later regression that Dokja was copying. At this point it's just one big Joonghyuk-Dokja-Joonghyuk-Dokja circle of future knowledge.

Anyway, it's implied that at least for some choices Joonghyuk would never have received the same story, especially since Dokja also says in the same section that Joonghyuk always makes the same exact choice in certain sections (presumably once he learns that that choice works to move him to the next scenario).

So I'm going back and forth on whether or not Dokja has (intentionally or not) delayed Joonghyuk becoming a constellation. Assuming he can even become one.

It makes me think back on the fact that it's been brought up multiple times that Dokja's companions aren't as far ahead as they would have been if they'd gone with Joonghyuk instead. As well as the fact that they're continuing to progress fine without Dokja. That's almost certainly because Dokja puts everything on himself. As much as he can possibly bear. (He even tried to withstand the pain of Heewon melting Hyunsung for him.) He's so stressed that something will go wrong without him. Honestly, seeing the bazillion ways that Joonghyuk failed probably gave him some kind of unseen anxiety, now that I think about it. Unfortunately, with these life or death scenarios where one little mistake can end everything, he's not completely wrong.

I will not be shocked if we eventually have some kind of breakdown with Dokja completely terrified because he's not able to completely control/be involved in a situation as much as he thinks he needs to. In fact, we literally just saw him begin to panic when Joonghyuk refused to let him take over his body at the Martial Arts Competition. He was so certain he had to help him or else.

Now, onto a completely different tangent, the amount of enemies Dokja is making so quickly is definitely worrying me. 😬 I mean, it was bound to happen eventually, we're almost halfway through the novel. And he did seem to pick up a couple of constellations that are at least interested in him, if not outright allies. But I honestly wasn't expecting him to come right out and say that he's going to get to the end of the scenario or that he's so angry with the way constellations treat the incarnations. He's rocking the boat very hard and very fast, which is Dokja to a T but it makes me fear for him. Especially because Joonghyuk isn't also a constellation (yet?). Or at the level of transcendence where he can help him against higher grade constellations. Dokja's this itty bitty baby constellation who's heavily relying on the goodwill of other more powerful constellations. Who don't always help him even when they like him...he's had to trick some of them into helping in the past.

[helyiios]

Bedside lullaby

(Brandt/Hunley, 1.5k hurt/comfort drabble. Pre-relationship, but if you squint real hard it’s here)

One shot. One bullet, straight to the stomach. There had been blood, of course. A lot, he’d heard. They’d kept Luther close to him until backup had arrived, and by the time they were there, their Secretary was covered in gore.

Serves him right for trying to be a secret agent à la Ethan Hunt, he thinks, grumbling to himself as he throws his shitty coffee cup in one of the hospital’s bins, leaning back against the corridor’s wall. Some people are meant to give orders from the comfort of an office, there was no need of changing the order of things.

One of the doctors suddenly catches his attention, nodding to him as if to make him understand that he could finally come inside his superior’s room. He’d been waiting for around seven hours, had visited approximately all that a visitor could, had seen the different wings of the buildings at least twice, and had had the time to count the amount of ceiling lights in wing W, which were at a total of 247. How fucking peachy.

“He’s awake,” the man in the white coat tells him, but truth be told, he’s barely listening to him, “he’s extremely numb and vulnerable, so try not to push him too much. The bullet barely grazed his stomach, a few millimetres more and he was a gone man.”

That’s great, thanks a lot.

“Alright,” William Brandt says instead, offering him a tight lipped smile. “Thank you.”

“Of course. We usually only allow family, but the man who was with us in the ambulance gave us your contact info. We assumed he had no other next of kin.”

“Yeah I’m…we’re coworkers,” he defers, technically not lying. “Sorry, I’ll leave you to it. Thanks again.”

The doctor nods curtly, exiting the room quietly. Brandt watches him disappear around the corner of the corridor before inhaling deeply, smoothing the lapels of his jacket, trying to pretend like he hadn’t just spent the most boring and stressful day of his life. And anyway, his face and the dark bags that adorned it would probably tell the story for him. No need to play pretend.

He makes his way inside the hospital bedroom, taking in how spacious it was. The bathroom was wide, and there was a small couch near some sort of diner table. He almost wants to roll his eyes at this—how many missions had he gone through, waking up in the world’s shittiest and least clean hospitals he’d seen ? Talk about special treatment.

His superior is in the bed, one arm hooked to a catheter, his chest rising and falling to the rhythm of the bipping of the machines, eyes closed. He looked almost peaceful.

“I know you aren’t sleeping,” Brandt groans, grabbing a chair and letting it drag on the floor with an uncomfortable screech, “asshole.”

“Ow,” comes the immediate reply, “you could afford to give a little more sympathy to a wounded man.”

“If you had stayed in D.C, you wouldn’t be here.”

“One has to make sacrifices, in this line of work,” Alan Hunley retorts, but his voice isn’t either playful nor amused. He sounds extremely tired, and he has difficulties speaking. “It’s fine. I made it out, in the end.”

“Barely, yes.”

“Yes, sorry about that, I’m sure you learning of my demise would’ve brightened your day considerably,” Hunley offers, finally daring to let humour slip through his words, “I’ll do better next time, I promise.”

“I don’t fucking feel like joking, Alan,” Brandt almost spits, fists closed in anger, “this isn’t funny !”

“No, it’s not.”

The Secretary closes his eyes again, sighing deeply as he let his head sink deeper into the hard pillow. The drops in his IV were falling almost in synch with the beating of his heart.

“Why are you here ?” he asks then, turning his face a little so they were looking at each other, “don’t you have mission files and reports to fill ?”

“I’m here because you’re a lonely guy whose closest next of kin is his subordinate,” Brandt icily replies, locking their gazes forcefully. “That’s a little sad, isn’t it ?”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I’m sure your mother is fond of coming to your bedside everytime you hurt yourself on missions.”

“Okay, funny guy. Hilarious. Just—that was a really close call. And I don’t feel like joking about it, is all.”

“I’m not making jokes,” Hunley notes, “I’m deflecting. The mood of this place is daunting enough as it is, no need to add your forever gloomy face to the mix.”

“My face isn’t gloomy. I’m—concerned.”

“Well, you shouldn’t be. I’m alright, I’ll be good as new in a few months, ready to overwork you and your team of self sacrificing idiots.”

“Unless you’ve forgotten, you are part of this team too,” Brandt says, “and anyway, talk about self sacrifice when you’re the one who jumped in front of a bullet.”

“How sweet. Just what I needed,” the other mocks, the shadow of a smile still appearing on his bow shaped lips. “I may be the one who has gotten shot, you don’t look too well either. Did you run into a wall, perhaps ?”

A scoff, and Brandt’s crossing his legs self consciously, tugging at his loosened tie.

“I’ve been here since 1AM yesterday,” he mumbles, running a hand through his short hair, “there isn’t much to do, in a hospital.”

That seems to take Hunley by surprise.

“1AM ? But it’s early morning.”

“Yeah, Sherlock. It’s almost 9AM.”

A frown.

“Why on Earth would you stay the night ?” the older man asks, clearly confused, “that seems counter productive.”

“Oh, are you fucking kidding me ?” Brandt frustratedly exclaims, throwing his hands in the air, “because someone needed to check on you, is why ! Because there needs to be someone to tell the IMF if their Secretary General fucking died in surgery !”

“While I appreciate the sentiment, I’m sure doctors would’ve notified you all the same without you having to stay here,” Hunley remarks, raising his index at him. “All I am saying is, you could use some sleep. That look on you is…ghastly.”

“Honestly, go fuck yourself,” the other annoyedly replies. “I stayed because I wanted to. And yes, I look like shit, but at least you’ve got someone to talk to while you’re waking up from your surgery, and you’re not staring at the ceiling waiting for God knows who until God knows when.”

“Mm. That would imply that I want to talk to you.”

“Well, you are. Aren’t you ?”

A huff.

“Alright, sure. You look jumpy, though. Are you sure you’re alright ?”

“Am I sure I’m a—fuck, Alan !” Brandt can’t help but yell, face in his hands, “you almost died ! What is it about that that you don’t understand ?!”

“No, William, I understand the gravity of my situation quite well, thank you very much. What I do not understand, is why you seem so worked up about it.”

The younger man lets out a high pitched scream inside his palms, shaking his head dejectedly. His shoulders are shaking.

“Brandt ?”

“I guess I got scared, alright ? I got—I got scared you really were dead,” he finally says, defeated. When he raises his head again, his eyes are wide. “I panicked, and I felt helpless. I knew I should’ve taken the job with the rest of them. Fuck.”

“Well, I’ve made it out, haven’t I ?”

“A few millimetres to the left and you wouldn’t have,” he continues, parroting the doctor’s words. “I don’t know, okay ? I was scared. Fuck. I don’t even know why I’m admitting this to you, it’s going to inflate to huge ego of yours.”

Hunley lets out a soft laugh at this, clenching his fingers as his catheter slightly shifted on the sheets.

“I’m touched you seem to…care so highly of my person to worry that much. But I promise to you, William, that I am quite alright. Nothing I can’t recover from, at least.”

“I know that,” Brandt mumbles, averting his eyes. “It’s whatever. Forget it. Forget I said anything.”

“No, I think it’s sweet,” the other jokingly remarks, “but really, you should go home and rest, now that you know that I’m okay. You really don’t look good.”

“‘s fine. I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“My, are you playing bodyguard ?”

“If that’s what it takes for you to stop putting yourself in stupid situations you aren’t used to tackle, sure,” Brandt says, shrugging stiffly as he took his suit jacket and tie off. He folds them on the back of the chair neatly, patting them for good measure.

There’s a slight pause, and the muscle in his jaw visibly tenses. Like he’s thinking about something.

Finally his hands rises, barely, landing on the other man’s, palm warm.

He gives a soft squeeze, something that’s barely there.

“It’s good to have you back, mister Secretary,” he settles on saying, the corner of his mouth curling until what could be considered a smile. “Don’t go dying on me while I sleep.”

He takes his hand off, and Hunley finds that he misses its warmth.

The other’s snores keep him awake.

[glitterandmoondustofficial]

Side to Side

Chapter 247: Selfish

Notes:

Characters: Ruby Rating: Mature Warnings: Language, relationship drama Notes: uhhhhh hi? Not sure who still reads this but hey! Here’s a four month late chapter. There’s a couple reasons why I’m so late and one of them being that this chapter was kinda hard to write and you’ll see why when you read it. Another reason is just my stress levels have been bonkers. Thr final reason is that bg3 really has almost taken over my life. BUT FEAR NOT!!!! Law and Ruby are still at the forefront of my mind this chapter was just difficult and a long time coming. Like planned for years but I wanted to make sure it was as good as I hoped.

~~~~~~

Ruby tried to not be stuck in her own head when things were quiet. Although “quiet” was pretty subjective in Dressrosa. There were so many loud and bright parties on the island. Every night she could see the lights shining through her window in her flat. 

One of the first non-essential items she had bought was a sleep mask. This was too joyous for her at the moment. Then again she was being such a drag that maybe she wasn’t the best judge of joyous things. She was quite bitter about her situation. She was very bitter actually. She wanted to go home. She wanted to be on the Tang with her crew. She wanted Shachi to braid her hair and she wanted to gossip with Ikkaku. 

Instead she was playing spy for Law. Which she had done to herself. Law did try to stop her multiple times. Multiple times. She couldn’t blame him. She shouldn’t blame him. 

But part of her did. 

Deep down she blamed him for everything. 

She was angry and she was bitter. She was so goddamn mad. 

She should be blaming herself, and she probably actually did. This was all her decision. From being in Dressrosa to agreeing to being in a relationship with Law. 

Ruby sat on Law’s bed. Cotton balls were in between her toes as the nail polish dried. Her hair was in a bun and a mud mask was on her face.

Law sat at his desk, mumbling and grumbling and huffing. He tapped his pen on a notebook in annoyance. He was in a bad mood. 

“Hey, Law?” Ruby called, tapping her fingers against her thigh. “Why don’t you come to bed?” He stopped tapping his pen but didn’t turn to her and he didn’t say anything. Ruby frowned. “Law?”

“Not in the mood,” he said. “I have work to do.”

Ruby sighed. “I just want to spend time with you,” she said quietly. “Do you not want to spend time with me?” He didn’t answer. “Is that a “no?””

“Get some sleep, Rube,” he said.

Ruby frowned deeply, an ache in her chest, an anger in her chest. Why couldn’t he just spend time with her? Why couldn’t he just hold her?

She sighed and got out of his bed. She took the cotton balls from between her toes and threw them on the nightstand, a petty way of showing him her anger. She quietly left for the crew quarters, not bothering to wish him goodnight. 

Maybe her and Law weren’t as healthy as she had originally thought. When recalling their relationship she tried to only think of the good things, the loving things, even the sad things, but she didn’t think about the bad stuff, the annoying stuff. All their arguments and when they were bad to each other. 

She had shown everyone her relationship as if she had put the rose tinted glasses on them instead of her because she knew how they were. She knew that he was irritable, impolite, and, honestly, unhealthy. And she also knew she was irritable, impolite, and, honestly, a bitch. Two assholes who tried to find comfort in each other and yet were so stupidly bad at it that they were irritated half the time. How could she possibly show that to anyone, especially when the crew seemed so happy for them?

And they had good moments. God, they had some wonderfully good moments. The moments where her heart soared and she knew exactly why she loved him. The Law that he could be. The Law he should be. Not the Law that he was. 

Of course not. How could he be?

How could he be anything other than obsessive, irritable, violent, and angry? Some pirate captain who was so focused on his revenge that he didn’t pay attention to his girlfriend half the time. Of course she focused on the good things. Of course she only showed everyone the good things. 

“Law, just listen to me,” she said. “All I’m asking is for you to chill out for, like, an hour.”

“Okay. I’m not going to,” he bit. He stared down at her like she was a minor annoyance. Like she was a fly buzzing in his ear. 

“Why the hell not? I’m your girlfriend! You’re supposed to want to spend time with me.”

“I don’t want to,” he said. “I have more important things to do.”

“More important things than just holding hands for an hour?”

“Don’t you find yourself selfish? You can’t monopolize my time.”

She grinded her teeth together. “I’m allowed to fucking be selfish. I love you! I want to just spend time with you!”

“We’ll have sex later,” he said and waved her off. “Isn’t that half of being in a relationship?” He said it so casually, so flat, that she wasn’t sure how to feel. 

“Does it all mean so little to you?” She asked, trying to get anything from him. 

He scoffed. “Don’t pull that,” he snapped. “You know that I love you, I’m allowed to not make you a priority. Don’t try that manipulation tactic on me, Rube, I’m not one of your victims.” She breathed through her nose. A rough puff of air, letting him know that she was pissed. “Why do you do this when I’m trying to focus? You only do this when I’m trying to work.”

“It’s not like I’m scheming to pull you away,” she argued. “I just think you should spend some time away from the desk and with me. Could you have a little more faith in me?”

“As the person who knows you best on this damn ship I’d say I have the right amount of faith in you.”

She felt like screaming. She felt like walking up to him and shaking him until that damn brain of his rattled against his skull. Instead she turned on her heel. “Come to me when you feel like apologizing. Otherwise I’m not returning to this room.”

Ruby laid on her back as she stared at the ceiling. Guitars and singing were loud enough to be heard echoed in her flat. The lights from the party shone through the window. 

“Were we even good to each other?” She asked herself. “Were we always covering up what we really were?” She sighed. “Does he love me? Do I love him?” Tears rolled down her cheeks, her chest burning in pain. “No, I love him. I do!” She argued against herself. “I’m just alone. I’m just stupid and selfish and…” she sniffed. “God, he really does suck . What was I thinking?!” She laughed through her sobs, tears rolling down her face and onto her pillow. 

“So, Elissa,” Maria interrupted Ruby’s thoughts as she swept the floor. “What do you do for fun?”

Ruby blinked and looked over to the woman. “Uhm.” What to say. Did she have normal hobbies? What did she like to do again? Did she even remember who she was? “I guess I like fashion and art.”

“You guess?” She questioned while she cocked her head. 

“I, uh, yeah,” Ruby said and shifted. “You know, makeup and dresses and stuff like that.”

Maria stared at her, her eyes appraising her. “You must have left a lot of yourself behind when you left your island,” she said with a nod. “I can only imagine what it’s like picking up pieces after you’ve lost someone the way you have.”

Ruby stared at her and she felt herself hardening her core. Covering up the toxic waste that was her heart and mind. “Ah, yeah,” she sighed. “Yeah, something like that. Leaving myself behind and whatnot. That’s how this works, right? I’m afraid I’ve lost my mind!”

Maria laughed and Ruby bit her tongue as she smiled. “Do you like dancing?”

Ruby’s eyebrows twitched. “I suppose I do?”

“Great!” Maria clapped. “Let’s go out tonight!”

“Wha- really?”

“Of course! You know, us Dressrosans are quite passionate dancers! I believe you’ll be quite impressed with us!”

Ruby chuckled. A tired smile spread across her face. “I see. Well, alright, I could use some fun in my life.”

“Great! Meet me here at 8:00!”

Ruby stared at herself in the mirror. 

She stared at her bruised eyes, her frown, and her dull hair. 

“What in the goddamn…” she mumbled to herself. “Is this really what I look like?” She rubbed her face with her fingers. “Fucking shit. I look like…like shit!” She pulled away from the bathroom counter and rubbed her face. “Whyyyy did I agree to this?!” She huffed. “This is supposed to be a covert operation and I’m going to a party in the enemy’s territory?! Law is going to kill me!” She huffed and stared at herself in the mirror again, tears rolling down her face. She watched the tears and her furious face. “Why am I pissed? Why am I considering this? Because I’m mad at Law? Am I fucking rebelling against him? How stupid am I? Fuck!” She threw her makeup bag at the shower door, its contents spilling out. “Everyone is right about me. He was right about me. I’m so goddamn selfish.” She sobbed. 

“Ruby,” Law groaned. “The world doesn’t revolve around you and your needs.”

“And why not?” She grinned at him cutely.

He stared at her, that annoyed crease in his brows that he always got when he wasn’t giving in to her. “Because your needs are simple and irritating. I’m not going shopping with you.”

“You know there was a time where you used to go out of your way to do things with me,” she said and placed her fists on her hips. “What changed? Why don’t you want to spend time with me?”

“Well, you already let me fuck you, why go out of my way to do anything else?”

Ruby’s eyes widened. “Are…are you serious?! How fucking dare you!” She hadn’t felt a rage like this in years. She turned around and started to walk out of the room. “I can’t look at you, you goddamn asshole.” She was pulled back by the arm roughly. “Don’t fucking try. I am more than sex you fucker.” She snatched her arm back. 

“Would you just let me apologize!”

“Why?! So you can just do it again?” Her voice cracked, betraying her. Her bottom lip shook and tears of rage filled her eyes. 

“Ruby, just listen to me,” Law groaned, exasperated. “I’m sorry, dammit. I took it too far.” He sighed and lifted his hand to her face. He wiped a tear with his thumb. “I’m sorry,” he said softly. “You’re more to me than that. You’ve always been more.”

Ruby stared at the dancing women in their flowy skirts. The men playing guitars. The flowers. Everyone clapped and cheered. She sat at a picnic table set up on the outskirts of the party with a bottle of beer.  

Why was she here again?

What was her purpose?

She watched Maria dancing with who Ruby assumed was her friend. Dressrosa was a warm island but Ruby felt cold. She sighed and sipped her beer. How rude would it be to leave the party without telling Maria?

“You look depressed, señiorita.” Ruby looked up from her beer bottle and stared at a handsome man smiling down at her. “Such a beautiful woman shouldn’t be sitting alone.” She huffed and rolled her eyes. The man took the opportunity to sit across from her. “Let me guess, your date has left you to be with another woman?” She didn’t answer him. “No? Perhaps your lover cheated and you’re here to get revenge?” She sipped her beer. “Again, no? Hmmm,” he hummed and scratched his chin. He snapped. “You’re on the run from someone! Come to Dressrosa to forget all about them! I’m right aren’t I, Sela D Ruby.”

Ruby’s eyes widened and she squeezed her bottle. She stared at the smirking man. “Who are you?” She demanded. 

“Not your enemy,” he said.

“Then who is?” 

The man looked to the side and stared at the castle. Ruby narrowed her eyes. “You’re quite the enigma,” he said. “We wanted you to join us but after the explosion we couldn’t find you.”

Ruby scoffed. “Revolutionaries,” she hissed. “You didn’t look very hard. There was a trail of blood.” The man was silent. “Why are you bothering with me now? I’m probably too fucked for you guys now.”

“Because we’re after the same thing.” Ruby said nothing. “I didn’t expect you to be so far from your captain but it seems he really did send you away.”

Ruby huffed. “That’s one way of putting it.”

“We’ve been tracking your progress and we’ve tried to keep the government off your trail.”

“ Why ?”

The man cocked his head. “Didn’t I just say we want the same things? Plus, if you truly are on the run from your captain, then it would be easier to convince you to join our cause.”

“I’m not interested in a cause,” she said and sipped from her bottle. “If you wanted me to join you and believe in that cause you should’ve followed that blood trail.”

“Then how about a place to stay? Going from a ship to a-”

“I’m not-!” She grimaced. “I’m not on the run from him,” she whispered. “I’m here to-”

“Feed him information?” She chewed on her lip. “What if I told you that we want to deal with all this before he even reaches the island?” 

Ruby stared at him. “Why did you approach me?”

“The way I see it, you don’t care who deals with the situation as long as you and him come out okay.” She sipped her beer. “If we take care of it, then you both come out unscathed and can go about your lives. Or you can join us. Whatever.”

Ruby sighed. 

“Elissa!” She heard Maria call. Ruby looked over to her. 

“Don’t worry about answering me now. I’ll come find you.”

“Wait, how-?!” She blinked and he was gone. “Piss,” she groaned. 

“Elissa,” Maria breathed as she ran up to her. “Were you just talking to someone?”

“Just some pervert thinking he could take me home,” Ruby said with an eyeroll. “What did you need?”

Maria grabbed her hand. “Let’s dance!” She laughed and started to pull Ruby along. 

“I don’t know how!” Ruby said. 

“Come on! That doesn’t matter!”

Ruby chuckled lightly, allowing Maria to drag her along. 

“Any new developments?” She heard Law’s flat voice ask. 

Ruby swallowed. “I haven’t found anything yet if that’s what you mean,” she said as she stood naked in her flat. 

He sighed. “I see.” He sighed again. “I’m really starting to regret sending you there.”

“Starting to?” She questioned. “You regretted it since I brought it up,” she said, slightly annoyed. 

He was silent for a moment. “What’s wrong?”

“What?”

“What’s wrong?” He repeated. “You’re being pissy.”

“I’m not-” she took a deep breath. “I just miss everyone. Sorry. I don’t mean to take it out on you.”

“Everyone misses you, too,” he said. “Me included.”

For some reason that didn’t comfort her like it should’ve. “Law?”

“What?”

“Do you love me?”

He was silent. She could hear him breathing. “Why would you ask that?” He sounded hurt. Guilt immediately settled into her chest. 

“Sorry,” she sighed. “I’m just not feeling well.” She sat on the bed.

“Get some rest,” he said. “You need to be at your best.”

“I know.”

“And there was nothing else? No development?”

Ruby swallowed, thinking about the revolutionary and whatever information they already had. “No.”

“Okay,” he breathed. “Have a good night. Love you.”

Ruby sighed. “I love you, too.”

Ruby dropped the receiver and let it hang off the den den mushi , the dial tone loud in the small room. She stared into the dark flat before covering her face with her hands, starting to silently sob in the lonely room. 

[notmanagingmymischief]

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My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

My toxic trait is thinking any of my favorite characters would even want to date me in the first place tbh

71 notes - Posted March 28, 2022

#4

❝𝐉𝐨𝐲𝐞𝐮𝐱 𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐞, 𝐦𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐫.❞

This is a (one day late) birthday gift to my beloved, wonderful, amazing girlfriend @winters-witch-bitch. I hope you enjoy it mon amour; I love you so so so much, and I can't wait to spend as many more birthdays with you as the universe will allow me to.

See the full post

91 notes - Posted May 7, 2022

#3

ᴀʟᴍᴀ ᴘᴇʀᴇɢʀɪɴᴇ | ʟᴏʀᴅ ᴋɴᴏᴡꜱ ɪ ʙᴇʟᴏɴɢ ᴡᴀʏ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ʙᴇʟᴏᴡ - ɪɪ

sorry about taking an actual century to update this bitch oh my gods 😭💀

oh and the bits between the '~' are in Alma's pov because....flustered bird woman. :D

finally, yes i changed the pov--people complained and peer pressured me into doing it /hj *cough* @merci-bitch *cough*

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ᴘʀᴇᴠɪᴏᴜꜱ ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ

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title source: "heaven knows" by the pretty reckless

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warnings: slight angst, light swearing, arguing

word count: 7.7K

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enjoy xx

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After the night that Horace's dream had caused issues with you and Alma, your relationship had been...rocky at best, and obstructive at worst. Alma never raised her voice, which was a relief, but she was especially sharp for at least a month. With everyone besides you, she was completely normal, but anytime you asked her anything she'd tense up and her response would be unnaturally professional and snappy. Each time it would annoy you and you'd usually end up snapping something back, which would either end in Alma glaring at you, walking away, or it would begin an argument. Again, she never yelled, and neither did you, but her tone was enough to be intimidating and you could stand your ground without being loud.

Now, over a month later, you lean against the inside of your door, fists clenched and knuckles white as you hold back tears. The door is locked but you know that Alma is still on the other side as she mumbles "Y/n please, I'm sorry." You scoff, replying "If you were sorry you wouldn't have said it, Miss Peregrine," purposefully using her title instead of her name, knowing it'll bite more than if you call her Alma. It works and you hear her hiss quietly. A faint shuffling can be heard from the other side of the door before another sigh and a quiet "I'm not leaving until you let me in." Rolling your eyes you silently mock her words to yourself, grumbling under your breath. "Don't you have a house to run?" Alma doesn't miss a beat before replying "Everyone is outside, and the sooner you let me in, the faster we can get this over with." You consider her words, knowing she's right but also not wanting to give in, forever stubborn. Your mind returns to your latest argument, the one that had caused this whole problem, and another few tears burn in your eyes.

The day was going decently, you'd helped Emma with her squirrel and watched Enoch mess about with his dolls, before returning upstairs and going to the kitchen to try finding something to nibble on. You remembered seeing some apples in the fridge, so you padded over to it and began searching for them. A minute later you caught sight of one and with a noise of victory, snatched it and gently closed the fridge door, standing up with your prize in hand. But you jumped back with a gasp when Alma appeared out of nowhere, leaning against the counter behind the open door. She glanced over at you indifferently, but didn't say anything even as you stared at her for a moment longer. You honestly expected her to make some snippy remark, but she did no such thing, and eventually you hummed and also leaned on the counter across from her, not making eye contact even as you felt the woman watching me.

Finally she spoke; "And what might you be doing?" You let out a heavy breath, chewing the piece of apple that was in your mouth and swallowing before responding. "Oh you know. This and that. Nothing you'd care about, anyway," you said, staring intently at the pattern of the floor. You heard Alma huff indignantly and snap "Why are you always so...sassy with me lately?" This time you did raise my head, leveling her with a disbelieving glare. "Me? I'm the one with an attitude? You're the one who's constantly starting arguments over literally anything!" Alma's eyes hardened significantly and you saw her fingers tighten around the unlit pipe she held, muttering "I do not start arguments. You turn conversations into arguments." "Oh please!" you scoffed, setting your apple down and taking a few steps closer to the ymbryne. "I can't say anything without you biting my head off, Alma." At your advancing, Alma did the same, discarding her pipe and standing straight, using her height to her advantage.

But it didn't deter you, and you held yourself high and confident as you stared each other down. Before, you wouldn't have dared to speak like this to the ravenette, but by this point you were sick of her attitude. "You've really lost it now, haven't you?" Alma hissed and you smiled wickedly, replying "If I've lost my mind, then you're out of yours," eyes sparking. You heard the woman pull in a sharp breath and she stalked towards you, but you refused to let her get too close and began backing up, trying to keep some distance between the two of you. But Alma didn't stop until you were backed up into the counter, and even as your resolve stayed strong, the proximity still made your heart skip a beat. It was the closest she'd been to you in weeks and you were almost unused to it. Before you could think about it too hard though, Alma snapped "If I hadn't taken you in you'd still be starving and most likely dead by now." You took a deep breath, swallowing dryly and hissing "And I'm sure you regret it every day."

You said this, yet didn't expect Alma to reply "Maybe I do." Your face fell, lips parting in shock and eyes going glassy. Your brows pulled together tightly, staring up at Alma in betrayal, hurt beyond words. She realized what she'd said a moment too late and pulled away, already apologizing frantically, but you weren't having it--and without anything more than a "fuck you," you stormed out of the kitchen and up to your room, locking yourself in and sliding down to the floor in tears.

"Yeah, that's not gonna happen," you finally say once the memory clears, and Alma growls under her breath, spitting "Dammit y/n, I'm sorry! I've never regretted helping you, I was just upset and not thinking straight!" The laugh that bubbles up in your throat is derisive and sharp, and you shake your head, mumbling "Clearly." Neither of you say anything else for another long moment, but your resolve slowly begins to crack and eventually you whisper "If I let you in, will you leave me alone?" Quickly Alma says "Yes, I just need you to know that I mean it." You heave a great sigh, filling your lungs to capacity before letting it out in a pained exhale, and stand up, hesitating just a moment before finally undoing the lock. You leave it up to Alma to open the door, which she does as soon as she hears the click, and the instant it's open she's pulled you to her body and holds you tightly. You choke on air, at first trying to pull back, but she's stronger than she looks and eventually you give up, relaxing in her arms and loosely returning the embrace.

You breathe in her perfume and it calms you down, so when she murmurs "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry,” you believe her. You nod slowly, tightening your hold just a bit, which seems to relax Alma as the tenseness of her shoulders fades. With one last squeeze, the woman finally lets you go, but doesn't step back as she brings both hands to your face. The genuine emotion in her eyes make tears threaten to fall, but you blink them away and nod again, mumbling "Okay. Okay, I believe you. But can we just..." You taper off, unsure what to say next. Alma encourages you quietly, and you finish with "Can we go back to how it was before? I don't--I don't want to keep fighting, Alms." The nickname, though not official as it's only the second time you've used it, softens Alma's gaze even further and she presses her forehead against yours, breathing "Of course. Of course we can, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to get out of hand, I was just overwhelmed."

Understanding, you hum in agreement. You stand there for a moment longer, one of your hands coming to rest on hers, which she removes from your cheek and instead threads your fingers together, holding your hand tightly. But eventually you have to separate when you murmur "I think it's almost time to eat. I'll help you." Alma sighs and the little breath blows against your lips, before she nods and pulls back with one last peck to your forehead. She doesn't let go of your hand, instead using it to gently pull you along with her down the steps and into the kitchen. She finally has to let it go in order to start working, but the little smile she throws over her shoulder makes up for the loss of warmth. You return it, though she's already turned her back, and silently begin helping. The air between you is no longer charged as it has been for the last month, instead it's returned to the warm familiarity that it had once been. You move fluidly around the kitchen, mumbling quiet words to each other every so often, and you manage to make some sort of inappropriate joke that makes Alma blush and laugh loudly, having to support herself on the counter.

You beam at the woman, laughing quietly along with her, but more just enjoying seeing her laugh again after so long without it. When Alma finally calms down, brushing a nail over her cheek as she still chuckles through her words, saying "That--That was brilliant. But I don't want you saying something like around to the others." You press your hand against your chest, dramatically exclaiming "I would never! What do you think I am, a heathen?!" Alma gives you what could be a scolding look if she wasn't still biting back another smile. You finally let a grin of your own break out, dropping your hand and turning around with a shake of your head to continue cutting up these vegetables for supper. You hear Alma shuffling about behind you but ignore it as you make sure not to slice yourself. You've been known to be clumsy when faced with sharp objects, so cutting yourself is a very real threat. "Did I ever tell you about that time when I just about killed myself?" You glance over your shoulder, the shock value of the statement making Alma's head snap to face you.

But you just smile teasingly and say "I was trying to help my mom with lunch and the knife slipped and caught my wrist. I ended up needing stitches but it just barely avoided hitting that big vein." Absently, Alma sighs and mumbles "The radial artery, yes." You nod, continuing your cutting while you state "But yeah, I was fine in the end." Alma hums quietly, and it's more tense than before, so you pause your repetitive slicing to set the knife down, coming over to stand at her side and leaning into her a bit, murmuring "I'm more careful now Alms. Don't go all quiet on me." The woman sighs heavily and casually tilts her head to the side so it can rest atop yours and replies "I'm sorry. I just...you had me worried for a moment." You shrug, understanding her worry. "Yeah, I guess I could've worded it a bit better. I just wanted to see your reaction honestly." The truth makes Alma grumble under her breath, miffed at the casual manner in which you speak, but her head doesn't move and she doesn't scold you.

Still, after a few minutes you pull back with a little nuzzle into the woman's shoulder that makes her let out a little huff of laughter, and return to the opposite side of the kitchen. The rest of the meal gets finished soon and without anymore bumps, until everything is on the table and Alma lets out a heavy sigh, rubbing her hands together anxiously. She checks her watch, as she's been doing incessantly for the past two hours, and you watch her stare at it with a tense expression before slipping it back into her pocket with a soft hum. You raise a questioning brow when she looks back at you, but she just brushes it off with a smile and softly asks you to get the others inside. You nod, brush your hand against hers as you pass her to head outside. Rounding up the kids doesn't take much effort, and they all run inside to get ready for dinner, changing if they're dirty or fixing their hair, etcetera. You do the same, changing into a nicer dress that's tight against your waist and chest, but loosens around your legs.

You smile to yourself as you make sure your hair is neat in the mirror, before skipping downstairs and entering the dining room, where Alma stands against the wall waiting for the rest to appear. She smiles over at you, and her eyes drop down to check out your outfit, smile softening into a teasing smirk as she mutters "That's a bit short, don't you think?" You notice the playful tone of her voice and a matching smile lifts to your own lips as you walk slowly towards the woman, replying "Only if you want it to be." Her eyes return to yours, amused. "And trust me, I have shorter. Maybe I'll wear one of them someday--although you might like that too much," you purr, winking with a grin at the shocked, then flustered expression that settles onto her face as the statement's double meaning registers in Alma's mind. As soon as it does she goes to say something, but you quickly cut her off with "It's almost time to eat, isn't it?" The woman lets out an annoyed noise, but checks her watch and, once finding out that you're correct, approaches the table and rings the bell that sits atop it's dark surface beside her seat.

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110 notes - Posted February 3, 2022

#2

Y/N: *slams fist into their wall in frustration*

Alma: Y/n! Don’t do that!

Y/N: >:(

Alma: How would you feel if I slammed you against the wall?

Y/N:

Y/N: I’m...I’m not sure you always understand the consequences of your actions or words.

129 notes - Posted July 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

thinking about her again <3

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159 notes - Posted September 18, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[corkcitylibraries]

Cork City Libraries Sustainability Blog | Sow…Let’s Grow!

December is the busiest month of the year for many people, from the stress of Christmas shopping to the excitement of finishing school for the little ones, and the all-important winter exams for those in secondary school or college – the garden is the last thought on anyone’s mind...or is it? The garden doesn’t just stop at the front door you know. In this blog I’ve hand-picked some books that we have in stock here in Hollyhill Library that can complement your gardening from how to make Christmas wreaths to what herbs perfectly accompany the Christmas day roast.

Beautiful Wreaths & Garlands: 35 Projects to Decorate your Home for all Seasons & Occasions by Catherine Woram contains pages of stunning ideas on how to bring all that wonderful winter foliage into your indoor space. Using materials that can be found in almost every garden, she shows you how to create beautiful Christmas wreaths that can highlight your fabulous gardening success.

The Homemade Year by Lily Higgins is a wonderful read that I would recommend at any time of the year. She has divided her book by the seasons and has lots of gorgeous recipes and projects especially suited to each one. Winter starts on page 247 and the very first project is a stunning leaf wreath using dried leaves and herbs from the garden. This wreath is slightly less showy than the one in the previous book and would be perfect for those trying to incorporate a little bit of the Danish hygge tradition into their Christmas. On page 255 is a how-to for a facial steam using chamomile and rosemary which can ease congestion – especially handy at this time of year! And on page 289, one of my favourite Christmas activities, instructions for an orange pomander. Now I know that neither oranges nor cloves are particularly common plants to see growing in an Irish garden, but I love this one all the same and for less than the price of cup of coffee, your house can smell like Christmas for weeks. It is a lovely activity to do with your family, or whomever you choose to spend the holidays with. In the picture below you can see the pomanders my housemates and I made together.

Ultimate Christmas: The essential Recipes and Festive Crafts for the Perfect Christmas published by Paragon Books Ltd has lots of festive recipes that you can use to utilise your fruit and veg harvest. Regardless of whether you’re growing to feed a family of six or just have some herbs on your windowsill, this book has recipes that cater to everyone. Potato and parsnip rosti with smoked salmon, sour cream and chives on page 83 is a delicious recipe which uses common veg you may have grown yourself. No matter how small your gardening endeavours may be, there is no doubt that home grown produce adds just a little bit extra to any dish you desire to make. This book also has a small section in the back dedicated to Christmas crafts and here we find another wreath design, this one uses holly leaves which can be found almost anywhere – I pass several bushes on my walk to work every morning!

A Very Vegan Christmas: Plant-Based Recipes for Celebrating in Style by Sam Dixon is all about those plants. This book may be marketed towards vegans but anyone who believes veg deserves a starring role on the table, should most certainly give it a read. I’ve already leafed through this one and I’ll share with you some of my favourites. Maple & pecan stove-top carrots uses the thyme I’ve grown, and I’ll probably throw in some rosemary as well, I feel they really must be used together. Mushroom and chestnut stuffing also uses a host of herbs, and this will absolutely be on my dinner table come Christmas day. Roast butternut squash curry for those in-between days where you’re not quite sure if you can eat another charcuterie board, the recipe also calls for spinach and I’m going to use my rainbow chard instead, the colour will look just stunning.

Happy Christmas everyone from Hollyhill Library!

[sunset-peril]

Ashes Remain - Chapter Seventeen - Ladders and Stepladders

~~~~

The first thing she recognized were the dogs. She couldn't see them, but she knew they were there. 

She saw their torn ears in her mind's eye, bloodstained teeth and patchy fur. She heard the pants, snorted out of flared nostrils. 

They always came for her, for what is a champion but a throne to overthrow?

A year's time would save her from much, but it refused to silence them. There is always a limit to generosity. 

A moment’s weakness toils the bell.

For whom does the bell toil?

It toils for she.

There’s a reason no one cries “Long live the queen!”

The next thing she realized was the gurney, then the needle in her shoulder. 

Until now, she’d never been able to smell herself, much less taste her raw terror as she tried to break loose of the straps, to rip the lethal thing from her body before it was much too late. 

“Venus, stop that!” A dog with missing ears, she knew clearly where they’d gone, snapped from above her body. “Stop that, Venus!”

“No!” She stilled in terror when her voice slurred in such a manner. Was it already done?

“Stop it, Venus! You’re going to hurt yourself!”

“No! I refuse to let you kill me!”

“Venus!” The creature lunged at her neck; light and shapes flooded back to her. 

There was a lady standing over her, calling with the canine’s voice. “It’s okay, Venus. You’re in Los Kyoto. You really did a number on yourself, you know that?”

Terror still raged through her, and she clung to her neck.

“You’re going to choke yourself. Let go, I won’t hurt you, you’re safe. My name is Naia, Chief Prosecutor Edgeworth sent me.” A prosecutor’s badge dangled from her neckline. 

Mr. Edgeworth, she remembered him. His name was Miles, it was so un-European. He smelled of ramen and black tea and was nothing but gentle to her. 

He and the boss bickered heavily, and while Apollo bore respect, he was still obviously bothered by his presence. She felt more fear towards her boss than she did towards Mr. Edgeworth. He specifically told her to call him Mr. Edgeworth, so she did. 

“Ah, you remember him, don’t you?”

She remembered Mr. Edgeworth.

“You had a panic attack and passed out, he was getting a bit worried.”

She remembered now. She’d gone to Courtroom Number Four in search of Apollo, and found his unconscious body on the ground, bleeding.

And it wasn’t just him she saw, four others echoed in the ruins’ shadows and the smell of blood clawed at her throat. 

That’s when the dogs came, howling. That’s when everything went dark. 

“Mr. Justice will be okay, Venus. You’ll both just have to rest here and recover.”

Apollo was here.

She ducked her head away. “My name’s not Venus.”

“Of course not, Athena. Now you just relax. Your painkillers should start working soon, if you’re still in a lot of pain.” 

“Are they gonna mute them?”

“Your hearing aids? I’m not sure. If they do, I’m sure they’ll have a good reason. No one will hurt you like that again, you’re free.”

“It will be a long time before I can say I’ll believe you.”

~~~~

December 18th, 2027

1:05pm

General Hospital - Suite 247

~~~~

Apollo was sure it was a dream. He was sure that the prosecutor wasn't really there. He was sure she didn’t really call Athena by another name for an entire conversation. He was sure she didn’t respond by the other name until he was mentioned. 

He was sure it was a dream. A stress dream, distorted further by the pain. 

He was sure she was Athena Cykes. 

And he’d rather die than lose his faith. 

But then Fulbright came. He’d heard the voices outside and the seed of doubt within him began to sprout. “Ah, Prosecutor Graves! I’d heard much about you from Prosecutor Blackquill. Astounding to finally meet someone so concerned with the fight for justice as I!”

“Cut to it, Detective Fulbright. Some of us have actual work to do, instead of playing tea time with convicted killers.” 

“I beg your pardon! Here I am, looking to your advice in awe, and you chide me for attempting to reform those in our prison system!”

“There is no ‘reforming’ the man. He is to die.Your efforts will be nothing but in vain.” 

“This is getting beside the point, Prosecutor Graves! I’m here investigating Venus Blackquill!”

…What? 

“You are a fool, much like Blackquill has always said. That is not her name!”

He knew it. He knew it was all a dream.

“It is Gyax. Venus Gyax. There is no Athena Cykes.” 

No. 

It couldn’t be.

“I beg your pardon, Prosecutor? There is too such a person!”

“Not in a long time. Perhaps you didn’t read your charge’s file, Fulbright, for Athena Cykes died long ago. Skye filed the death certificate yesterday.”

He couldn’t believe it, but he had to. 

If evidence is everything, then the woman he loved was a fraud.

“That certificate was only just received! Even the hospital staff has no idea why it exists, for she is clearly alive.”

“I will say this one more time, Fool Bright. That certificate was signed in the presence of the court. Athena. Cykes. Is. Dead. Visit her grave if you’re so blatantly inclined.”

“I can see now why the chief put you with Prosecutor Blackquill. So very willing to get in the way of justice. No wonder they call you the Scapegoat Prosecutor.”

He saw his lover stumble from her bed, storm over to the door with her IV stand and slam it against the door. “Shut up!” Her Chords of Steel threatened his own. 

“Look what you’ve done. She’s awake.” The door cracked open. There was the lady he’d dreamed about. “Athena,” How dare she continue to call Athena that, when it was all such a lie? “Go back to bed. You need to rest.”

He couldn’t take it any longer. He needed answers before she could slip back through his hands. “Not until I get answers.” He was too busy to stand, but Justice was still going strong. “I have evidence to suggest you haven’t been straight with me, Athena. Or should I say, Venus?” 

Athena’s eyes flooded white. Muscles in her throat rippled the odd scar circling the shallowest part of the jugular. Low rumbles stirred from the remnants of her light voice.

He was ever so glad he hadn’t heard that sound in bed. “Don’t incriminate yourself.”

The white in her eyes vanished as she looked back, pupils shrinking as she pulled backwards. 

“If you can’t be straight to me about something as simple as your name, Venus Gyax, then what else have you been lying about? Your convenient disappearance? The knife in Clay’s chest? Spill it, Gyax!”

“That’s not my name!” She couldn’t look him in the eye, his bracelet threatened to amputate his hand. “Apollo, it’s me, Athena! Your painkillers are playing with your mind, they did the same thing to me!”

“If you were Athena, then why did this hospital find a death certificate?! Why have a detective and a prosecutor identified you otherwise?!” 

“I’m Athena Cykes. I’m your co-council, your partner in crime fighting. I-I love you, Apollo Justice!”

“How can you prove you’re her? How, even if you are, can you prove you were ever worthy of the love I had for Athena?” 

“Because I am Athena!”

“You were never Athena! This prosecutor proves you were never who you said you were! I can’t believe I ever trusted you for a second, you European reject!” 

“Apollo Justice! You will quit harassing your partner!”

“My partner is Athena Cykes! Not this fraud of a woman!” 

Widget fell black and she crumpled to the floor. “I’m Athena, I’m Athena!” She continued to plead even after she’d hit the ground. Graves pounded the nurse call button and helped the incapacitated redhead to bed. He felt everything swirling inside him. He wanted to believe her, to hold her tight.

The nurses came and muted her ears. Athena Cykes, Venus Gyax, whoever this woman was, was now out of his reach.

He’d dumped all the doubts in his brain, but no clarity or comfort came. He felt utterly betrayed on both his behalf and hers. He couldn’t argue, he loved this woman, and was her legal guardian. Those feelings and ties, however, were formed with Athena Cykes. He wanted to believe in her, to feel her play with his hair as she chided him for risking his life to save her friend. 

Her friend that was now safe and sound, not guilty of a terrible act. 

Her friend who had also been betrayed, believing this woman was her dead childhood friend. For Juniper’s sake, he wanted to declare this woman had been and always will be Athena Cykes. For his own heart, consumed by the loss of two families and an only friend, he needed who she said she was.

However, evidence never lies. 

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[1-800-minji]

MINJI’S RELATION WITH THE DREAMIES

- > ❍, ⌗ click here! to view minji’s masterlist

MINJI + HAECHAN = MINCHAN

nct dream's jokesters, clowning/pranking everyone. If they planned some scene and they get caught, no hesitance, they both would blame the other. no one is safe from them, like literally nct dream are intimated by them both. To the point that when they're playing a game the dream members would fight and argue that minchan shouldn't be allowed together in a team

Hyuck would make minji cry from laughter (would even make her smile on her lowest days) She knows that she could tell him everything because she could count on him to fix it as well as she trust him.

Minji is always caught whipped for hyuck’s aegyo but she pretends to hate it. Minji loves getting his affection and also loves giving it to him. like most of the videos you'll either a) she her cuddling with haechan b) sitting on markhyuck's laps or c) back hugging markhyuck. To the point haechan likes to call her a koala.

They are like two peas in a pod; always together.

MINJI + MARK = MINMARK

minji sees him as an older brother figure. she has so much admiration as well as respect for him. They are each other's pillar. Since mark is the leader he has so much stress and pressure pilling up on his shoulder, so minji would always offer him and all the member a shoulder to cry on. she would listen to his for hours and vice versa. She loves mark to bits.

He would always compliment her to raise her confidence. saying small but meaningful things. Literally if he gets a call from her asking for help he would drop whatever is in his hand and go running to minji.

Mark would wanna protect her from everything!! When she gets hurt he’ll be one of the first people to check on her. Okay, so when minji’s sick he would TRY cook minji a meal. he would always sleep in the room till he knows she won’t wake up when she’s sick. he's on her emergency contact.

Very very clingy. They would cuddle while watching movies. He would also spoil her with love. She’s whipped for him. she's literally in the I love mark fanclub. He always would brush her hair and try to braid it. he likes pinching her cheeks because it's soft. he takes care of her a lot but like without her knowing; forgot her water, he'll gently place it next to her

MINJI + CHENLE = MINLE

The Tom and Jerry of NCT Dream, arguing 247 about literally anything. They teases each other all the time esp chenle. Lele calling Minji short is a must! Also exposing each other is normal. (Mostly chenle) So it’s an older brother and younger sister scenario. Chenle acts like an older brother towards minji.

Chenle adores minji so much like he finds her adorable. In his eyes, he is her father. He finds her so cute, like literally she'll be doing anything and you'll hear him call her cute. He would teach her Chinese and would get so proud of her whenever she says anything in Chinese

He has a habit of ruffling her hair. Like when she’s scolding him, he would sometimes say okay and ruffle her hair which annoys her so fucking much.He lowkey finds her the cutest.

He would laugh whenever she does anything cute He never called her nonna before instead, he would say “minji-ya” despite her being older by 6 months. She told him before he can be friends with her instead of always saying Noona.

MINJI + RENJUN = MINJUN

minji loves renjun so much like literally they go way back. he takes really good care of her and she as well takes great care of him. they do thing without the other knowing. for example, minji if she cold he'll give her his jacket. sm would overwork her to the point of exhaustion. Recently at the dream concert, minji was at the point of nearly fainting and she had to put most of her weight on renjunnie. they see each other as they're soulmates.

MINJUN is one of the most popular ships in nct. Very into skinship. well its one-sided. minji is the one usually indicating the hugs and cuddles. sm would always try to give minji more work as in modeling, acting or something even as a solo-artist to avoid her working with nct dream. im not saying all the time but during we young era as well as a few times in ridin. like she wouldn't be in most of the content and promotions. and renjun would usually mention her and make some off-handed comment about how she's everywhere and doesn't have time for herself and as well as for the members

minji really does admire renjun as well as adore him. when her mother died it was extremely hard for minji. The dream members were there for her but renjun really helped her go passed that hard time in her life. she's forever in debt to him

you know that TikTok trend lalala & okokok; minji would be lalalala, and renjun would be okokokok. he would stare at her with love eyes like he adores her so much. renjun acts if he's older then her by years even though its only 1 year difference

MINJI + JENO = MINO

literally this man spoils minji to death, both by money and affections. like he's always carrying her or her things. Usually for her birthday he would go all out with his gifts. They get each other like no need to talk they can just sit there silently and they wouldn't feel uncomfortable. Jeno and Minji would always have deep conversations and enjoy each other presence.

Jeno sometimes would carry her around since a) she enjoys it and b) the stylist would give her killer heels and she wouldn't be able to walk around in it without it hurting. most of the behind the scene would be him carrying minji around

Jeno sees minji as a daughter more than a little sister. He finds her so cute. Babies her 247. Minji had a difficult time during 2022 with the amount of schedules they had, she would go rant to jeno and he would listen to every word and would let her finish before giving her advice.

he loves to listen to her talk about things that she loves. like minji loves talking about scientifically things, jeno doesn't know much but he would listen since it would make her happy as well as when she's passionate about something he get so happy. He loves watching her talk her tiny heart away about anything even if he doesn't understand or enjoys it.

MINJI + JAEMIN = 2MIN

minji finds him the funniest mf in the group. literally she would be sobbing from laughter. she would like to rile him up to see his reaction both her and haechan. minji loves hates his aegyo she cringys so badly during the moment but when she rewatches it later she finds him adorable.

jaemin would always nag minji, telling her to eat and drink water. since she would literally always forget. He gets stressed from her habits of forgetting to the point he'll pack some snacks for her. multiple times minji had gone into diet because of the company and jaemin would literally force her to eat.

her mother, he's literally her mother. jaemin would alway cook for her and play with her. like he finds her so cute as if she's a child. he's so affectionate with minji. always hugging her, bitting her and kissing her.

she likes to talk with him about deep personal matter, things that would bother her. He doesn't reply only listens, because he knows that she wants a listening ear. He would literally walk over fire for her happiness since he saw the lowest shes ever been (during her mother's death) and that caused him to always watch out for the girl.

MINJI + JISUNG = MINSUNG

minji spoils this boy so much. Like literally she cooks, buys and babies him. Jisung finds minji adorable and always tells her that he should have been older. Jisung feels so comfortable around minji, her presence is relaxing.

Jisung loves to compare their heights, but he always get shock by the results. Like he can't comprehend that she's shorter than him by a lot. Minji would alway get sulky and he would find that so cute. He's always leaning on her and comparing their hands.

He calls her noona, since minji wanted him too. at first he was upset but lately he got used to it. Minji always says that jisung feels like her son, like when he does something she feels so proud. She loves to take care of him by doing literally anything. Minji loves to hug jisung and kiss him even though he pushes her away she still tries.

He soft for minji and minji is soft for him. whenever jisung is talking about something or saying some nonsense, minji would always look at him with stars in her eyes, literally she's heads over heels for jisung

@starlightjoong ; @ateezjuliet ; @hyuncore-deactivated20220208 ; @riikiblr ; @1-800-enhypennabi ; @strwberrydinosaur ; @akshreads ; @ggukkiedae ; @skzfairies

[elainsshadows]

I want to talk about Elain today and her role in future books. I will also be talking about other ships at the end of this including: Lucien x Vassa, Lucien x Elain, and Azriel x Gwyn. These are merely my opinions and thoughts, this is not me trying to bash anyone else's opinions. I am open to having discussions as long as you are kind and respectful.

This is going to be long as a warning. Let's begin.

Quiet Strength

My friend recently start reading ACOTAR and she came to me one day and said that she had found a quote that she really liked. That quote was:

"She had looked at that cottage with hope; I had looked at it with nothing but hatred. And I knew which one of us had been stronger" ~ ACOTAR, pg. 259

I know that a lot of antis like to bring up the fact that Elain didn't do anything but plant flowers and such while Feyre was out risking her life to put food on the table. Why hadn't Elain planted food instead? As someone who tried to garden vegetables with her dad one year I can tell you it's not as easy as flowers.

Maybe Elain was trying to bring some color into their drab little existence like Feyre had done with the paints. Maybe she wanted one thing to make her happy.

When Feyre comes to see them in ACOMAF, to ask for their help, it was Elain who said that they should help.

"If... if we do not help Feyre, there won't be a wedding." ~ ACOMAF pg. 247

"Feyre gave and gave - for years. Let us help her. Help... others." ~ ACOMAF pg. 248

Elain was risking a lot by saying they should now help their Fae sister. She was going to be married to someone who's family hated the Fae. If they found out what Elain and Nesta were doing it would probably be the end of her engagement to Graysen. They would become Fae sympathizers and like the Children of the Blessed we see mentioned throughout the books.

Would a coward risk all of this? Not to me they wouldn't.

When Rhys, Az, and Cassian arrive once Elain had cleared out the servants. Elain, while scared, still tries to be a good host to the four of them. I want to come back to this scene when I discuss Elriel because this was the moment that I first started thinking that they would make a good pair.

But while Nesta and Feyre are more bold with their actions like wielding swords, bow and arrows, knives, etc., Elain doesn't necessarily back down from a challenge. When given Truth-Teller she simply states that she doesn't know how to use it. She does not shove it back at Azriel and refuse it, she simply informs him she doesn't know how to use it.

Also when they had been captured by Hybern and all that mess was going down. Tamlin had been gunning for Feyre and it was Elain who did this:

"But Elain's cry - a warning. A warning to- To my right, now exposed, Tamlin ran for me. To grab me at last." ACOMAF pg. 602

Elain, despite being scared in this highly stressful situation, saw her sister in danger and tried her hardest to warn her. If it had not been for Elain, Tamlin might have been able to grab Feyre at that moment in all the confusion and chaos. Despite being in her nightgown and terrified she still tried to protect her younger sister.

Once again when people are in danger once the Wall had been taken down it was Elain who spoke up. She knew that Graysen's family's estate could help protect those closest to the Wall and from any Fae that may come to do them harm.

"Glamour me," Elain said - to Rhys. "Make me look human. Just long enough to convince him to open his gates to those seeking sanctuary." ~ ACOWAR pg. 471

"It's already ended badly. Now it's just a matter of deciding how we meet the consequences." ~ ACOWAR pg. 471

She's Fae now. If Graysen or any of his family or those working for them knew this (which we see that they did) then they might kill her on sight. She risked her life to make sure defenseless humans remained as safe as they could with the oncoming war.

When Azriel and Feyre go to Hybern's camp to save Elain they also save another human. They are being pursued and clearly, the human girl is terrified of them, but it is Elain that says this:

"Grab onto him!" Elain ordered to the wide-eyed human girl as Azriel thundered toward her. *skipped ahead* "Elain screamed at her, "If you want to live, do it now!" ~ ACOWAR pg. 577

She also does this when the King of Hybern's beasts are upon them:

"Elain moved. As Azriel battled to keep them airborne, keep his grip on them, my sister sent a fierce kick into the beast's face. Its eye. *Skipped ahead* "Elain slammed her bare, muddy foot into its face again. The blow struck home." ACOWAR pg. 577

Knowing that their lives are in danger and that if this beast does anything to Azriel's wings they are all going to die. She does not hesitate and does not back down as she goes after the beast with her barefoot.

She slays the King of Hybern as well:

"Elain stepped out of a shadow behind him, and rammed Truth-Teller to the hilt through the back of the King's neck as she snarled in his ear, "Don't you touch my sister." ~ ACOWAR pg. 652

She has a protective streak in her and she will go down swinging if she has to.

And this I just found interesting. Everyone seems to shy away from Amren, but in ACOFAS this happens when they're all eating together:

"Elain, to my surprise, held Amren's gaze." ~ ACOFAS pg. 108

I just like that she held Amren's gaze.

Being Feminine Isn't Boring

I see a lot of people saying that Elain being feminine is boring, that she isn't an exciting heroine. Yes, Elain isn't one of SJM's typical heroines, but I think that makes her all the more interesting. We've never seen someone who isn't like Aelin, Bryce, Feyre, and Nesta from SJM.

"Elain stood between Nuala and Cerridwen at the long worktable. All three of them covered in flour." ~ ACOWAR pg. 386

"Elain was in the kitchen, helping Nuala and Cerridwen prepare the evening meal." ~ ACOFAS pg. 101

"She'd been toiling in the estate gardens since dawn." ~ ACOSF pg. 28

"Elain had already departed with Feyre, claiming she had to be up with the dawn to tend to an elderly faerie's garden." ~ ACOSF pg. 311

Do I think Elain's entire book will be based on her baking and taking care of gardens? No, I don't. I think she is capable of more than that and that is going to lead into my next point.

Elain Archeron, 007

This is not a new theory and it isn't even one that I came up with. Many lovely Elriels have pointed out comparisons to Azriel and Elain and how he may even teach her how to be a spy. I think it is a perfectly lovely idea. Let me show you some quotes from the book that make me think that this could be a possibility.

"Elain spoke from the doorway, having appeared so silently that they all twisted toward her, "Using me." ~ ACOSF pg. 230

They were talking about looking for the Dread Trove here and scrying. They were debating who should do it when Elain stepped up. She has done this before and with her seer abilities she is a perfect choice for the job. Obviously several characters aren't thrilled with the idea (Nesta and Azriel being two of the ones that don't like the idea).

"Azriel stiffened, an outright sign of temper from him as he said quietly, "There is an innate darkness to the Drea Trove that Elain should not be exposed to." ~ ACOSF pg. 311

"Elain saw every single thing Nesta had done, and understood why." ~ ACOSF pg. 470

"You came," Elain said behind her, and Nesta started, not having heard her sister approach. *skipped ahead* "Wondering if she'd been taking lessons in stealth either from Azriel or the two half-wraiths she called friends." ~ ACOSF pg. 595

We see that even Nesta is questioning whether or not Elain has been having lessons. She very well could have or this could be a hidden talent that Nesta has never gotten to see or never cared to see because she viewed Elain as someone who is innocent and needing protection.

Nesta mothers Elain throughout the series, we constantly see her coming to Elain's defense, stepping in front of her, talking for her. And while Elain used to let that slide we can see now that she is coming into her own and not letting Nesta walk all over her.

"Elain said, "You can't have it both ways. You cannot resent my decision to lead a small, quiet life while also refusing to let me do anything greater." ~ ACOSF pg. 232

I think Elain has been denied many things in her life because she has been seen as the most beautiful. Her own mother seeing her as nothing more than a pretty face that would be easy to marry off once she was of age. What will she do now that she has more freedom than she did before? Now that she will not become some lord's wife?

I do not see Elain as a warrior who is ready for battle, but I see her being ready for a different kind of battle.

"It took hours for Elain to work her charm on the staff to swiftly pack their bags and leave, each with a purse of money to hasten the process." ~ ACOMAF pg. 250

You know who else is charming? James Bond.

Being another pretty face has something going for Elain. No one would look at her and think "Yeah she's totally a spy." She can charm people, make them feel more at ease, and get them to open up. Maybe even enough that they think nothing of divulging things in front of her that otherwise shouldn't be overheard.

Maybe she can learn to glamour herself so that she is not recognizable to others. Who knows but I'm sure we'll find out when her book happens.

Welcome To Spring

One of my least favorite theories I've seen is that Elain will leave the Night Court and her family to go to Spring. Even going as far as saying that she will wind up with Tamlin. I don't think Feyre would let her sister wind up with her abuser plain and simple. Nor do I think Elain would fall for her sister's abuser just because he lives in a land of eternal spring and has flowers.

In ACOSF Nesta has this thought:

"Elain would love this place. So many flowers, all in bloom, so much green, *skipped ahead* But Elain... The Spring Court had been made for someone like her." ~ ACOSF pg. 454

While I do believe that Elain would love the Spring Court I do not think she would ever leave her family or friends behind.

"Two half-wraiths she called friends." ~ ACOSF pg. 595

"Cassian kissing Elain's cheek in greeting. *skipped ahead* Amren came next, giving my sister a nod. *skipped ahead* The Mor, with a smacking kiss for either cheek." ~ ACOFAS pg. 105

We also know that the sisters tend to consider one of the brothers friends. Feyre with Cassian, Nesta with Azriel, and I believe Rhys and Elain will also be friends. He seems to like Elain (certainly more than he likes Nesta).

Plus now there is Nyx in the mixture and why would she leave and miss out on her nephew growing up? What about if Nesta becomes pregnant and has a child? So no I do not believe that Elain will leave the Night Court.

Shipping Time

Here is where opinions and feelings may vary and people might not like what I have to say. Just know that these are merely my feelings on a ship. Ship what you want to ship, I am not here to gatekeep. These are merely my feelings on the matter. I'm going to start with the two ships I like: Elain x Azriel and Lucien x Vassa.

Elain Archeron x Azriel

I mentioned this earlier but I've been shipping them since ACOMAF. I saw the potential for them from the moment they began to interact.

"Elain rasped, "Nice to meet you," before hustling after her, the silk skirts of her cobalt dress whispering over the parquet floor." ~ ACOMAF pg. 253

I like the symbolism in this line. Cobalt = Azriel's siphons. Whispering = Azriel's shadows. While it might not be that deep as a writer I like the small things like this in my works. Things that later when you come back to them after something important happens that is a callback to something like this you can go "ooooh that makes sense now, yeah." We also do see other mentions of Elain wearing blue, but this post is long enough and it's only a few more times so I don't think it's worth noting. This part just sticks out to me because it's the first time they're meeting and like I said I love symbolism.

"Elain said to Azriel, perhaps the only two civilized ones here, "Can you truly fly?" ~ ACOMAF pg. 256

Elain who has been taught to fear the Fae is talking to him, also probably leaning around Cassian - who she is seated next to and also has wings - and asking if he can fly.

Azriel responds on the same page saying, "We're born hearing the song of the wind." And her response of, "That's very beautiful." This is the same male who famously said he wouldn't need poetry to woo a woman. Maybe he's not trying to woo her here, but he's trying to impress her.

"Elain, noticing Azriel's ease as proof that things weren't indeed about to go badly offered one (a smile) of her own as well." ~ ACOMAF pg. 258

She seems mighty comfortable with a Fae she just met. Which leads my into my two mate theory that I've had for some time now.

We know the tweet where SJM says that someone can have two mates. This was during a time when one of the TOG novels was about to come out and was probably referencing something in there, but I think it would be interesting to see play out in this situation as well.

We've seen several times people questioning Elain and Lucien's mating bond. Feyre and Azriel both do it. Feyre during ACOWAR and Azriel in his bonus chapter from ACOSF.

We also know that not all mates are happy pairings ie. Rhysand's parents and Tamlin's parents. We also know that sometimes it's based on who would have the strongest offspring. We can see this reflected in both Rhysand and Feyre's mating (he's considered the most powerful High Lord and she has abilities from all seven HLs).

But what if Elain and Lucien aren't true mates? True mates to me is a happily mated pair like Feyre and Rhys as well as Nesta and Cassian. Azriel questions why his brothers were mated to two sisters while the third was mated to another. (Pardon me for not using quotes here, I do not have the bonus chapter so I am going from memory.)

Why indeed? And I think it was because he was on the floor dying at the time. We know that the Cauldron loves Elain, so if her true mate was on the floor dying and there was no guarantee for survival it would make sense for the Cauldron to gift Elain another mating bond.

I will talk more about this in the section where I discuss them as a ship, but I wanted to briefly mention it here.

We also know the scene where Azriel hands over Truth-Teller to her, something that shocks all of them. I think of Truth-Teller like Azriel's security blanket. Something that brings him comfort and he never ever wants to part with it. But he gives it to Elain.

After she was taken by the Cauldron and held captive at Hybern's camp. After she says this:

"She shook her head, devouring the sight of him as if not quite believing it. "You came for me." The shadowsinger only inclined his head." ~ ACOWAR pg. 573

Why did she look only to Azriel? Why did she seem so surprised that he would come for her? Kind of like how a princess might not believe that her prince has come for her. (Love me some Disney princess movies)

To me these two just fit together. And to me they are more like Hades and Persephone than Feyre and Rhysand are. And hear me out: Elain as Persephone, goddess of spring. Azriel as Hades, god of death. (Feyre once calls him Death when thinking of a painting of him and Elain. Death and the lovely fawn she called it). Some might see Azriel and Elain falling in love as stealing her away from her mother (or mate in this case).

Also if you want another mythology reference. Paris (Azriel), Helen (Elain), Menelaus (Lucien). Helen was considered the most beautiful and was stolen away from her husband Menelaus (though I think she went with Paris willingly so there's that.)

I see so many parallels and signs that point toward an Elriel endgame. We know Elain's book is in the works and I'm pretty sure it's next since Sarah has talked about doing research for her book. We also know that Sarah is excited to work with Azriel as well.

Moving on.

Lucien Vanserra x Vassa

I've been shipping them since ACOWAR. So not as long as Elriel, but since a bit. I think this was the line that did it for me:

"Indeed, Vassa still remained inside, chatting with Lucien animatedly. *skipped ahead* Lucien, surprisingly, was chuckling, his shoulders loose and his head angled while he listened." ~ ACOWAR pg. 690

Unlike with Elain, he seems comfortable around Vassa.

"Even with Elain here, he's become close with Jurian and Vassa. He's voluntarily living with them these days, and not just as an emissary. As their friend." ~ ACOSF pg. 57

I'm a sucker for the friends to lovers trope (it only falls after the enemies to lovers trope). And while we do not have a lot on them I can see the two of them being happy. I can see Lucien trying to find a way to make her immortal if that's what she wants. And I just want the two of them finding their HEA together in the final book.

My theory is that Vassa will be the MC of the last book and will deliver the killing blow to Koschei (as she should). I would love to see their journey together and their time together in the mortal lands especially since the mating bond would be severed at this point if Elriel is the book before this one. I want Lucien to be happy and I think that he could be happy with Vassa.

Elain Archeron x Lucien Vanserra

We know that Elain and Lucien are mates. He announced this on page 608 a little bit after Elain had come out of the Cauldron. But these two do not seem to fit together in my opinion. Now please note I have nothing against Elucien, I even like some of the fanart and the theories I have read are wonderful. I'm just personally not a fan of these two because of how they were thrust together.

When comparing Jesiminda and Elain, Lucien says this:

"Elain had been... thrown at him." ACOWAR pg. 249

I know Lucien wants to be happy and I know mates are special, but I don't necessarily think that Elain will be his happiness. I think that the way they met ruined that for them.

"But Elain blinked slowly, "You were in Hybern." *Skipped ahead* "You betrayed us." ACOWAR pg. 250 - 251

Lucien, however willing or unwillingly, did play some part in Elain being turned Fae. He was one of the reasons she could no longer go home or marry Graysen. I don't know if that's something that could be overcome especially since Elain is still dealing with the events of that day.

We also know that Elain tends to avoid him, shrinking in on herself when he's around. Another reason why I can't ship this is because I've been in a similar situation where people were pressuring me to be with someone I had no interest in. I know what it's like to hear "you two are perfect for each other", "you should give him a chance", "just try".

Their relationship is not evolving naturally like Feyre and Rhys's did or Cassian and Nesta's. I don't think Lucien would ever push the mating bond onto Elain, but I do think since it's something special to Fae he may cling to it more than she will.

Another thing about their bond that doesn't sit with me is how it is described.

"It felt... strange," Elain breathed. "Like you pulled on a thread tied to a rib." ACOWAR pg. 301

"There's a bond - it's a real thread," he said, more to himself than us." ACOWAR pg. 301

Other bonds have been described as "so much golden thread" or an "unbreakable chain". But Elain and Lucien's is described as a singular thread that feels as though it were attached to a rib. To me mating bonds are like soulmates, why would that bond be attached to a rib and not the heart or her being?

I believe that once again either the Cauldron created this bond between them or maybe they are not what's considered a "perfect match" like Elain's sisters with their mates are.

I will say this: If Elain and Lucien do wind up together I won't be mad. Sure they are not my preferred ship, but they both deserve happiness and can find it together then good for them. We will just have to wait and see where SJM takes them.

Azriel x Gwyn Berdara

I've lowkey been dreading talking about them because of how toxic this fanwar between Elriels and Gwynriels gets. Once again this is just my opinion and my theories. No hate or shade to any of the shippers. I will not be bashing theories. If you don't want to read my thoughts then please just leave now and pretend you never saw this.

I do not like Azriel and Gwyn as a ship for one very big reason: power imbalance. Azriel saved Gwyn from a highly traumatic experience. Now before I go any further let me say that I brought this up to my mom who also reads the series but isn't a shipper, she just reads them to enjoy them. I asked her what she thought of Az x Gwyn as a pairing and if she would like to see that and she said no that she also felt there would be a power imbalance.

Gwyn is a strong character, but I do not think I could get behind her and Az as a couple because of how they met.

I also do not believe that Gwyn will be the MC of any of the last books there are. We still have Elain's book, possibly a Mor book, or even Vassa. There are too many people from the original trilogy that we need to see books for. While I will not rule out a book in the future I don't see her getting one now.

I know the necklace is a hot button issue, but I also don't believe that Clotho gave it to her. We never hear it mentioned in the main portion of the book and I think Clotho knew how troubled Azriel was and thought that she should hold onto it just in case.

"You're the new ribbon, Az," ~ ACOSF pg. 623

Gwyn is a competitive person, to me this line that Nesta says is here merely telling Az that Gwyn's next challenge would be to prove him wrong about the training course. Nesta knows of Azriel's feelings for her sister by this point, so I don't see this line as her teasing Az about Gwyn possibly having a crush on him.

But again these are just how I interpret things between them.

These are all my thoughts at the moment that I'm going to share. If you would like to have a discussion my ask box is open. Hate will not be tolerated though.

[sstwins]

Femslash Feb Day 25 - The “L” Word - Ramona/Cedar

im so sorry

its late and its short

i wrote it when i was very stressed out though if thats any excuse

Brief Summary: The first time Cedar said “I love you” to her, Ramona had been totally taken aback.

Word Count: 247

I’m still accepting ships for femslash feb!!! Send me your fave fem pairs and I’ll write you a fic sometime this month!! (2 spots left)

The first time Cedar said “I love you” to her, Ramona had been totally taken aback.

Yeah, her family all loved each other. But they hardly ever said it. It was in quiet gestures, or a wink when you passed in the halls. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d said “I love you” to Cerise. It just wasn’t something they did.

What made it worse was that Cedar literally could not lie. Which meant that she meant her words wholeheartedly. And that made Ramona nervous. She didn’t know how to respond. Didn’t Cedar feel the “I love you”s when Ramona brought her flowers, or brought her to a secret picnic in the middle of the woods? Was that not enough?

She didn’t know if she was ready to say it back, and she didn’t know what to say instead. So she’d awkwardly mumbled, “You too”, and was still kicking herself about that. Cedar didn’t deserve that. She was so pure and kind and deserving. Deserving of so much better than Ramona.

Maybe one day she could do it. She practiced in the mirror sometimes at night, when Justine was sleeping. “I love you.” Maybe a little more emotion. “I love you.” The words felt strange on her lips.

Maybe she just wasn’t cut out to love Cedar. Cedar deserved someone who could say kind words back to her, and express her love openly. Ramona just wasn’t sure she would ever be able to do that.

[vestigesofperversion]

I posted 253 times in 2021

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My Top Posts in 2021

#5

See the full post

214 notes • Posted 2021-08-17 21:37:24 GMT

#4

The time Yasha ordered a cooked bug pie for herself inside of Caleb’s tower—

I headcanon that she noticed one bug on the plate that had managed to somehow survive the high heat of the ovens, and was trying to make its escape, and impressed by its toughness despite the odds, she silently snuck it into her pocket, intended - she told herself - as an extra special late-night raw snack, but then later in the quiet solitude of her bespoke arcane suite, she brought it out, and named it Mr. Crunchy Face, and mostly-jokingly threatened to eat it many times, like when she had an embarrassing thought about Beau and felt it was judging her, or when it would take an aggressive stance toward the also-fey-stuff kitty visitors, and she eventually fell asleep watching it crawl up the wildflower mural wall. Then by the morning, with the fresh stress of a Lucien pursuit at hand, she’d forgotten all about it, and left the tower without checking for its whereabouts, but later recalled it and now wonders every time they return to the tower if it is still there, and if it has made the best of its pseudo-existence in this pseudo-space. The others take notice that she always seems to be quietly investigating, watching for movement along the walls and mantles, being oddly careful with her steps, but no one ever says anything, assuming she’s likely the last to grow accustomed to such a lavish magical den, it being so different from much of what she’s known. One time she almost tells Beau, when they are cuddling in the early hours of the morning and she jumps out of bed at what she thinks might be Mr. Crunchy Face, but turns out to be yet another cat - Gloria, ever the lurker - instead though, she apologizes for the startle, kisses Beau’s temple as she slides back under the covers, and falls asleep again, as visions of bugs, like heffalumps and woozles, parade through her dreams.

🪲🖤

233 notes • Posted 2021-10-09 00:25:31 GMT

#3

Caleb: “We feel more firmly than ever that this war is a game, that these two nations are being thrust into for someone else’s purposes.”

Essek, butt audibly clenched: “I-I.. appreciate your candor.”

SOMEKNE ROLL AN INSIGHT CHECK FOR GODS SA

247 notes • Posted 2021-06-26 09:04:14 GMT

#2

Interrogating Uncooperative Corpses

Caduceus: “Were you following the orb, or the one who carried it?”

Corpse 1: “Yesssss….”

Sam: “Dead people are the worst.”

Taliesin: “Well that’s no help.”

[Caduceus casts Decompose, and they brainstorm more questions for a few minutes before moving on to the next body]

Caduceus: “Where do the disciples of Ukatoa congregate?”

Corpse 2: “Wherever there’s waterrrrrrr….”

Caduceus: “Do you know the name of the bearer of the orb?”

Corpse 2: “Mayyyybeeeee…”

Sam: “MAYBE?!”

Caduceus: “Ukatoa demands honesty. Tell me the name of the orb bearer.”

Corpse 2: “I don’t know your faaaaace… I say what I wishhhhh...”

Beau: “Asshole.”

Caduceus: “How long have you been a follower of Ukatoa?”

Corpse 2: “Not long enoughhhhh….”

Jester: “This guy sucks, this guy SUCKS!”

Sam: “The WORST!”

Travis, suggesting to Cad: “What happens if Ukatoa can’t find the orb?”

Sam, spookily: “🙃~~~~ YOU’LL FiNd OuT ~~~~🙃”

[Especially loving Matt trying not to break and staying in his signature “limp corpse” head tilt position even while cracking up, even though Sam and Travis are not in character at all through this whole scene]

252 notes • Posted 2021-08-14 22:33:47 GMT

#1

Excuse me Are you kidding me rn with this,

cozy matt what have u done

317 notes • Posted 2021-07-30 07:44:51 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[sighjeongguk]

↳ request!

↳ yoon sanha x reader

↳ words: 1104

↳ genre(s): fluff, friends to lovers.

↳ summary: you thought you were the only one who wanted something more, until sanha takes a step that neither of you anticipated.

“You’re doing it again.”

         You blink, and immediately groan as you yank the pencil from your mouth. A bad habit that you’d picked up somewhere, chewing on the end of your pencil when you’re particularly stressed—and what else would you be but stressed when trying to trudge your way through a 4000-word essay?

         Sanha reaches over to pluck the pencil from your fingers, his face scrunched up in disgust as he discards it on the table. “Why do you even need a pencil?” He asks, gesturing at the open laptop sitting before you. “YN, it’s a digital paper!”

         “To doodle on my textbooks!” You huff, snatching the pencil from the table and scribbling in your textbook, just to make a point. “See!”

         Sanha huffs out a laugh, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he, once again, takes the pencil from you. “Doodle later. You’re going to give yourself lead poisoning at this point.”

         “Don’t be dramatic,” you scoff, but do as he says, letting the pencil be abandoned on the table and turning back to your essay. 300 words left, but the last hurdle is always the hardest. When you find yourself running out of things to say just as the word count begins to seem bearable.

         250. You think back to two days ago, when you’d started this essay, confident that you’d fly through it. You hate that person. Too cocky, arrogant.

         248. The first hiccup had been two-hundred words in, when you’d seen how little you’d done and how much you had left. You’d cursed your professor for the essay.

         250. You’re never going to complain about a 2500-word essay ever again. How were you supposed to drag out a literary analysis for 4000 words when most of your notes were doodles? You glance sideways at a, rather unflattering, doodle you’d done of Sanha. Maybe you should have taken up Art instead of Literature.

         247. You’re going to scream. How do you write conclusions again? How do you wrap up 3500 words of pure crap in a nice bow?

         You don’t scream, but you do groan. Behind you, Sanha chuckles. It doesn’t stop even when you turn to glare at him; he simply gestures at your laptop screen once more, prompting you to focus back on your work. You regret asking him to come over. Normally, he’s around to distract you, but there are times—like today—when your stress radiates off you and he has no choice but to step in and help you focus, your best friend and greatest supporter.

         Sanha taps his finger against a scribbled note you’d left yourself sometime during your last meltdown, a suggestion for the ending of this godforsaken essay that won’t just be rehashing what you’d already said and instead wrap everything up tidily. You beam over your shoulder at him, then with a few sideways glances at the note, you bring your essay to a close.

 As soon as your essay is handed in, you reward yourself by smacking your head against the coffee table you’re sitting at. Thunk, thunk, thunk—you ignore the dull pain that blossoms on your temple. You’re trying to empty your head of the four-thousand-and-seventeen words, you think. You lower your head again, but this time it doesn’t hit wood. You let your head rest on Sanha’s hand for a moment—a brief, quiet moment—before lifting it to look at him through tired eyes.

         He puts your drink down on the table with the hand that wasn’t saving your brain, and settles himself comfortably on the floor beside you. He brushes your hair away from your face in a gesture that’s both familiar and strange. Familiar, because Sanha is your best friend, because he is often the one to do these things for you. Strange, because it’s more… intimate than usual. Too soft for a boy that makes fun of you with contagious laughter and shaking shoulders, who’ll call you ugly, gross, every name under the sun but still be the first to step up if anyone else said that to you.

         And now, he’s looking at you with soft smile, soft eyes, everything soft, soft, soft. Soft hand on your face, soft gaze coming closer; soft lips on yours. And oh, that’s new. That’s new and different and not at all what you were expecting when you started developing feelings for Yoon Sanha.

         You expected to ignore them, these feelings, to push them down and down until they disappeared altogether. You expected to daydream about kissing him. You didn’t expect him to kiss you.

         You almost chase his lips with yours when he pulls away, almost find yourself drawing closer when you’re supposed to be pulling apart. He averts his gaze immediately, looks anywhere but at you—the floor, the ceiling, the dust specks on the TV stand.

         He murmurs, “I’m sorry,” and you feel your heart break. Not because this is an unrequited love, but because you have both been labouring under the impression that it is. Because you know Sanha, you know he doesn’t kiss people on impulse. He must have been thinking about it for a while.

         “Don’t be.” You curl your fingers around the sleeve of his t-shirt, anchoring him in place. He is close to running and you know that. He would rather run and ignore this mess he thinks he has made instead of staying long enough to realise there isn’t one. “Sanha, I—.” The words catch in your throat, anxiety reaching up from your chest to grab them before they can make themselves heard.

         Sanha sighs, a heavy thing, and he turns his head just slightly. You can see his side profile and it is so, so pretty, but so, so heartbreaking. He looks defeated. “I’m sorry, YN. I just—I like you.” He smiles, but it’s a weak thing. “It’s dumb, I know—I’m sorry, but I promise—I promise I can move on.”

         “What if I don’t want you to?” He looks up at that, eyes blown wide, hope and fear blooming behind midnight irises. “What if—what if I feel the same?”

         “Really?” He asks, and you almost laugh at how quickly he goes from kicked puppy to overexcited puppy. You love him, so much.

         You nod, returning his hopeful grin. “Really.” It takes him barely a second to kick into action, for him to ignite your second kiss. When he pulls away this time, he’s still smiling. Heart full, you say, “I really like you, Yoon Sanha.”

         He presses a kiss to the tip of your nose. “I really like you, YN.”

[alexseanchai]

I posted 9,262 times in 2021

311 posts created (3%)

8951 posts reblogged (97%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 28.8 posts.

I added 8,645 tags in 2021

#miraculous ladybug - 2763 posts

#adrien agreste - 1587 posts

#love square - 1086 posts

#marinette dupain cheng - 864 posts

#marinette dupain cheng - 574 posts

#ml spoilers - 550 posts

#ladynoir - 363 posts

#gabriel agreste's a+ parenting - 345 posts

#adrienette - 290 posts

#fandom history - 223 posts

Longest Tag: 132 characters

#e. keep on scrolling because if it means anything other than yes-or-no then the thing i’m looking at is not relevant to my interests

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

hey, you know what we did not see in "M. Pigeon 72"?

Adrien stressing over Ladybug looking like she was replacing Chat Noir.

this would be the episode for it: I think it's the only time outside of "Style Queen" and "Chat Blanc" where Chat Noir hasn't been vital to victory. (I mean, I suppose the zoo escapees in the first bit of "Syren" could have been handled without him, but that wasn't an akuma. and in the rest of "Syren" and in "Anansi" and "Sandboy"--which I highlight because he let her see him worrying about being unneeded, even if she didn't notice that's what she was looking at--Ladybug really needed Chat Noir.) and though in "M. Pigeon 72" as in "Style Queen", Plagg was vital? any not-otherwise-occupied kwami could have done what Plagg did here, and Chat Noir could not have done what Rena did. (not without the Fox, anyway.)

and we did not get a single moment of Adrien worrying that Chat Noir is unnecessary or replaceable! not one!

233 notes • Posted 2021-05-23 19:24:36 GMT

#4

suppose that, when Gabriel gets outed as a terrorist, all his assets get frozen, in accordance with legal something or other about terrorist-supporting financial stuff.

1) how screwed is Adrien personally?

2) who all else is screwed, and how many of them are there? like, if Gabriel Fashions money stops moving, how many paychecks go up in smoke, and whose are they? so far I've thought of his designers and sewists and accountants and boutique outlet staff, anyone whose creative effort's budget depends on his being executive producer (which may or may not actively include Clara Nightingale and the "Animaestro" animation studio), whoever's been hired to cater the Agreste Foundation’s Heroes Gala, the said nonprofit's own staff...

239 notes • Posted 2021-05-27 02:06:53 GMT

#3

I don’t understand why people who object to the insufficiently leftist actions of the current White House are framing those objections as though “vote blue no matter who” in 2020 was a problem

Biden is indeed insufficiently leftist! but wtf do y’all think 45 would be doing right now? and why are y’all complaining about the 2020 election instead of putting pressure on Biden to be more leftist now?

247 notes • Posted 2021-10-21 22:24:57 GMT

#2

okay but what if Adrien, on seeing Marinette running for Kagami's car and therefore not going to notice Adrien doing this, backtracked real quick to rescue the pottery wheel from the trash

planning originally to return it to her, since clearly it was meant as a gift for someone else (possibly Buttercup) and the intended recipient should still get it, either that or she should have the option of returning it to the store for a refund

but Plagg talks Adrien into using it (maybe it comes with a sample size of clay idk)

so Adrien promises himself he'll pay Marinette whatever the pottery wheel costs, but he doesn't tell her this quite yet

and with some conspiring with the art teacher... (because Adrien can't do anything as messy as throwing pottery at home, never mind glazing or firing pottery, and smashing the wet clay is an important part of the process and also an excellent emotional outlet)

and then there's a pink ceramic present waiting for Marinette in the classroom one morning

a bowl or pencil holder maybe, something Marinette will both use and like the look of, and Adrien signed his work

405 notes • Posted 2021-10-27 01:50:07 GMT

#1

judging by relative sizes and distances shown in “Dearest Family”:

Tikki’s galette des rois is about as thick as the Earth’s diameter, ~12,700 kilometers, and has a diameter of about eight and a half times the Earth’s, ~108,000 kilometers

it is about seven and a half times as far from the Earth as the Earth’s diameter: ~95,300 kilometers

and since Astro Chat has to have gotten safely back to Paris within five minutes of Cataclysming the thing, he has to have been moving at over 320 kilometers per second

for reference, escape velocity relative to the Earth’s gravity is 11.186 kilometers per second

902 notes • Posted 2021-10-20 23:26:17 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[trytoimaginefireemblem]

Headcanon: Cuddling With Niles Wouold Be Like...

Request: I really liked the cuddling with Virion! Mind if I request something like that but instead cuddling with Niles?? Requested by Anonymous Word Count: 247

Niles is a big tease when it comes to affection. You want to cuddle? You better beg for it.

He secretly wants it too, but he'd rather hear you ask for it. He'll wear a smug smirk on his face and pretend he wasn't listening to you.

If you decide to give up and leave, expect to be grabbed and pulled into his arms.

Niles will pretend to be annoyed but will enjoy the feeling of having you in his arms. He would hold you as close as possible and cherish the time spent with you.

Cuddling positions would vary depending on how he feels, but his favorite position is with your head on his chest and your limbs tangled together in every way possible.

Another position he enjoys is with his head on your chest. He can listen to your heartbeat and know you are safe in his arms.

Cuddling before sleeping is one of Niles's favorite things to do because you are the last thing he sees before he falls asleep

Will never admit that he loves cuddling and will not verbally ask for them either. Expect a back hug with a kiss on your cheek while slowly walking you to the nearest couch or bed.

Will love it if you played with his hair. He is often stressed and worried and finds the gesture very soothing.

Cuddles with Niles would be soft and sweet, where Niles can finally let down his guard and relax.

[makeste]

Index of BnHA Stuff (Essays/Metas/Misc.) (old version)

this is part two of my giant index of all my BnHA chapter recaps, essays, and so forth (see part one for more on why I split them up). the other indexes are linked below.

index of the indexes:

manga recaps (no spoilers)

essays/metas/misc.

anime recaps/other anime stuff

fic recs

manga recaps cont. (spoilers)

---

part two of the index (essays, metas, and so forth) is below the cut.

(ETA: this is the original version of my bnha meta index! it is not sorted by category, and is in chronological posting order with both spoiler and non-spoiler posts. I’m keeping the post up because I know some people have it saved for reference, but moving forward all new metas will be added to my two new indexes instead:

essays/metas/misc (no spoilers)

essays/metas/misc (spoilers)

this post is current to about chapter 277 or thereabouts. anyways, that’s all!)

---------------------------------------

essays/metas/misc.:

---------------------------------------

(tag: bnha meta)

(also please take note of posts marked with **manga spoilers**!)

BnHA Bonus Rant: Top 10 Anime Betrayals (a.k.a. who is the U.A. Traitor)

BnHA Bonus Rant #2: Dad for One (a.k.a. All for One is Deku’s dad)

Nighteye Deserved Better: The Essay

on superhero culture in BnHA, and Horikoshi’s concept of what makes a hero

and part 2 of the above, featuring a lot of rambling about Bakugou

the good, the bad, and the basement (a.k.a. my list of pros and cons of the Overhaul Arc) (this one has some very good replies from @elanorpam and @herongale (who I can’t tag for some reason) in the comments that are honestly more worth reading than my initial post lol)

BnHA Bonus Rant #3: “Kacchan”

BnHA Bonus Rant #4: Bakumom

top ten characters as of March 2019 (**manga spoilers**)

regarding the parallels and contrasts between Deku and Gentle

on fandom’s response to chapter 192  (**manga spoilers**)

on Endeavor and whether or not he can be redeemed (**manga spoilers**)

piecing together the whole Dabi thing and the Todoroki flashbacks (**manga spoilers**)

and an addendum to that which isn’t actually my meta (credit to @baezetsu) but is cool regardless so I’ll link it here (**manga spoilers**)

ranking of the class B kids’ quirks (**manga spoilers**)

weird theory post related to the you-know-whats from chapter 193 (**manga spoilers**)

my predictions for future arcs, as of chapter 228 or thereabouts (**manga spoilers**)

“could you do a meta about Bakugou’s expression in chapter 40?” (yes. yes I can)

the new BakuDeku status quo (**manga spoilers**)

“do you think Bakugou is unusually divisive for a shounen rival?”

Top 10 Favorite Bakugou Moments

on Shigaraki Tomura and whether or not he can be redeemed (**manga spoilers**)

U.A. Traitor Theory 2: Electric Boogaloo (**manga spoilers**)

favorite BnHA arcs ranked (**manga spoilers**)

“When there’s a wall before your eyes... you smile.” (a.k.a. my giant essay about Bakugou and winning) (**manga spoilers**)

BnHA Bonus Rant # 5: All for One for All (**manga spoilers**)

Top 10 Favorite Deku Moments (**manga spoilers, but tagged**)

“how do you feel about Izuku and Ochako’s romance in the story so far?” (**manga spoilers**)

"when you say Shigaraki will be ‘redeemed’, what exactly does that mean?” a.k.a. another essay about Tomura and whether or not he deserves redemption (**manga spoilers**)

“how do you think Bakugou feels about Izuku choosing ‘Deku’ as his hero name?”

on AFO and his intentions regarding his “heir” (**manga spoilers**)

Favorite BnHA OST Tracks

BnHA Bonus Diversion: Horikoshi’s Sketches

probably like my 500th rant about Deku and Kacchan and their confused relationship (**manga spoilers**)

some musing about the upcoming plot and a forthcoming character interaction (post-ch. 242) (**manga spoilers**)

a hero under construction (a.k.a. essay 700-b about Bakugou, this time specifically about him being a complete and utter shithead in the first chapter, and why he’s still my favorite anyway)

why Kaminari Denki is not the U.A. traitor (and why the traitor is actually Hagakure) (**manga spoilers**)

ITP: an incomplete but lovingly assembled list of people who have it out for my kid (a.k.a. my ranking of possible main antagonists for Bakugou) (**manga spoilers**)

some very brief metaing about chapter 244, the possible implications of Bakugou and Deku reading a certain book, and a potential storm looming on the horizon between Bakugou and a certain other character (**manga spoilers**)

“what I lack” (a.k.a. a chapter 247-prompted essay about Bakugou’s continuing journey as a person) (**manga spoilers**)

a quick meta about Bakugou’s lack of a tragic past, and why I think that’s important

what we could have been (a.k.a. an essay about the differences in Deku and Bakugou compared to All Might and Endeavor) (**manga spoilers**)

“what purpose does our strength serve?” (a.k.a. what Bakugou learned about himself in the latest arc, and what choice he may have settled on) (**manga spoilers**)

meta about what “Kacchan” would potentially mean as a hero name (**manga spoilers**)

some reactions to Horikoshi’s 12/22/19 interview with Cinema Today Japan, particularly his remarks about Bakugou

the mortifying ordeal of being known... and rejected (a.k.a. an essay about the importance of Bakugou and Deku’s bond and how Bakugou secretly fears losing it) (**manga spoilers**)

some predictions on who is & isn’t making it out of the latest arc (**manga spoilers**)

why I think a traitor plot would be good for Hagakure’s development (**manga spoilers**)

so, Heroes Rising (a.k.a. my thoughts on the second BnHA movie) (**manga spoilers**) (**spoilers for Heroes Rising**)

receive, and entrust (or, my rambling thoughts about That One Thing that happens at the end of Heroes Rising) (**manga spoilers**) (**and again, spoilers for Heroes Rising, obviously**)

some more thoughts about Hagakure being the traitor and even possibly being a certain someone’s sister (**manga spoilers**)

killing is not so easy as the innocent believe (a.k.a. a very misguided essay about Hawks lmao) (**manga spoilers**)

some rambling about legacies, and opening up, and All Might has two sons more at 11 (a.k.a. a discussion of Bakugou and Deku and their relationships with All Might) (**manga spoilers**)

a ranking of all the kids in U.A.’s first year by how likely they are to murder a bitch (**manga spoilers**)

my take on a certain someone’s hotly debated actions in chapter 266 (**manga spoilers**)

on Shigaraki Tomura and his motivations and current goals (**manga spoilers**)

some speculation about the role a certain recently-resurrected character might play in regards to the battle against Tomura (**manga spoilers**)

literally just a giant post of Bakugou faces

a series of posts about how short Dabi is (shh, he’s sensitive) - 01 - 02 - 03 - 04 (**manga spoilers**)

“what do you think about the sexualization of the girls in the anime/manga?” (**manga spoilers**)

“how do you feel about the anime changing things from the manga?”

some thoughts about the occasional sexualization of the boys in BnHA as opposed to the girls, and why the two things aren’t equivalent

a theory about Deku (and One for All)’s connection to All for One (**manga spoilers**)

“being a hero means protecting everyone” (or, my thoughts on Katsuki’s character growth as of chapter 274) (**manga spoilers**)

my thoughts on Shouto sometimes being left out of BKDK antics, and the TDBKDK dynamic and how it works in the series

“...just to protect you.” (a.k.a. "why Deku still hasn’t told anyone else about OFA”) (**manga spoilers**)

some brief musings on why I think [insert spoiler character] is going to lose their quirk (**manga spoilers**)

some more meta about why said character losing their quirk would kickstart some long-awaited character development (**manga spoilers**)

obstacles do not block the path -- they are the path (a.k.a. yet another meta about this person losing their quirk, and how the series has been foreshadowing it, and why I think it should happen) (**manga spoilers**)

a bit of a rant about the ratio of male to female characters in the series, and why Horikoshi had better not mess with the lady heroes we do have (**manga spoilers**)

some speculation on a certain character’s future role in the series after the injuries they sustained in chapters 267& 271 (**manga spoilers**)

some brief thoughts on the “Eri can just heal such and such” theories that crop up from time to time (**manga spoilers**)

quick rambly post about my initial thoughts on Bakugou and why I loved him from the start

needlessly long and tangent-y post about whether or not Bakugou should have any more angst in the series, feat. a comparison to various other characters’ traumas just for perspective (**manga spoilers**)

yet more meta about a certain character hypothetically becoming quirkless, and what kind of impact it might have on them, and how they would try to move forward (**manga spoilers**)

“do you think OFA’s secret should be shared with more than Bakugou?” (**manga spoilers**)

top ten characters as of July 2020 (**manga spoilers**)

---------------------------------------

other people’s meta / meta back-and-forth:

---------------------------------------

more essaying about AFO and whether or not he’s the final villain (thequietmanno1) (**manga spoilers**)

on Re-Destro and the source of the “stress” that fuels his quirk (thequietmanno1) (**manga spoilers**)

more discussion about BnHA 237, and the bystander effect (thequietmanno1) (**manga spoilers**)

some meta on chapter 236 regarding Kotaro, [redacted]’s quirk upgrade, and potential ways for AFO to continue tormenting the Shimuras in the future (thequietmanno1) (**manga spoilers**) 

if you’re going to stan a villain, stan them as a villain (a.k.a. some musings on whether liking a character isn’t the same thing as endorsing all of their actions) (waywardhellhound) (**manga spoilers**)

a brief meta on what we know about Kacchan and Deku’s childhood friendship and them knowing each other since they were lil babbies (class1akids) (**manga spoilers**)