#instead of reblogging a bunch of things all at once and then disappearing for a few days

[lokilysolbitch]

hello i would like to add

i'm an age regressor it's just that instead of me regressing it's more like a completely separate child with a separate consciousness and separate memories and likes and dislikes taking over

looks at things they just got from a store right after leaving the store bc i don't really remember what i got and it's like seeing everything with a fresh set of eyes

yeah i get that thing where you enter a room and forget why you went there, it's just that i get it all the time when i do anything. like i open the fridge and forgot what i needed and what i was doing and how i even got to the kitchen

how old am i? uh eightee--twent--forty--seventee--twentyyyyyy uhhh i mean i remember there was a lot of talk of alcohol my last birthday. so 21? yeah

my pronouns are ____. except when i'm in a mood. then don't use that. actually just never use it. i don't like it. nvm it's perfect. ew don't call me that actually. wait no that's the perfect pronoun actually

im actually really impulsive internally and it just doesn't look like it bc when i make major decisions i wait several weeks while my brain keeps switching between completely differing priorities and opinions and then i go off of what opinion came up the most often in that time

why does my self perception change so drastically when i _____. it's almost like. it's almost like i Become A Different Person

i forget what happens in a movie or musical right after i watch it. i have to study it if i want to be able to talk about it

i hate baking but idk it's like i start getting out the baking stuff and then a few seconds pass and it's like already over and a desert is sitting there. so at least there's that

hold on, i can't figure out if i like this thing i just got, give me a minute to settle in my brain. like it's definitely my taste but i don't,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,yeah okay yeah i love it lol this is the best

why am i talking like this, this isn't on purpose but i can't stop

why can't i feel a mix of emotions like in the movies. i just flip between two really fast but they never mix

i don't understand this class at all. got an A on the test tho. idk how tf i did that like i still dont understand the concepts at all

*reading texts i sent an hour ago* this sounds nothing like something i'd say but it's funny as hell

one of my mental illnesses just like. turns on and off like a switch. it's so weird. i don't even feel like i'm in control when it's switched on

i kinda relate to the hulk/bruce banner idk. you know, like how they share a body but not the same mind?

my body is having a panic attack without me. also so is my brain. like. it's not my panic attack. i'm just in here.

hold on i'm waiting for my brain to give me my memory of that. no, i'm not remembering it, my brain is just giving me the memory. it's like someone else is telling me but in my brain

Things from Before the OSDDID Realization that now make heaps of sense:

Taking personality tests multiple times because even when I answered them completely honest they’d always come out different

Orientation impossible to pin down (simultaneously aroace/pansexual/lesbian/gay trans guy/queer fucking mess)

Same with gender

Conflicting opinions that somehow exist at once (I love weed/I fucking HATE all drugs and don’t want to be anywhere near them)

Frantic desire to run home and change into something totally different out of nowhere because the clothes I loved this morning are suddenly Awful

Keeps changing name every few months

If I do not journal/scrapbook/take photos of EVERY DAILY EXPERIENCE I WILL FORGET and my whole life will be a blank empty space!!!

“That’s not what you said last time I asked …”

Idk sometimes it’s my Favorite Thing and sometimes I couldn’t care less 🤷

I actually handle trauma really well because right after it happens I don’t even remember! 😇

Hate hypothetical questions because I have no clue how I’d react to any given thing until it happens and any answer feels like a lie

There’s def more but y’all should add your own 💖

[jojo-oliver]

How to tumblr for artists… my own version

A collection of things that have been working for me, but may not work for everyone

~~~ your posts ~~~

!!!reblog your own stuff!!! you need to reblog your own stuff, there is nothing morally wrong with reblogging your own stuff regularly. in fact, it is morally right to allow the chance for more people to see your artwork.

~~~ queue it!! ~~~ my queue is 500 posts strong. maybe don't try to make your queue hundreds of posts strong in the same day omg but like… once every month or two i'll go through my whole blog and just scroll and "add to drafts" to every one of my own posts i have. then i'll use the "mass post editor" to add content warning tags. and add to queue, and shuffle. and then I write down what the date was for when I last added my posts to be reblogged on queue. this is helped by turning on timestamps for posts in tumblr "dashboard preferences" settings.

queueing is necessary and life saving for me. It takes out so much work with decision fatigue and the anxiety around posting. It also guarantees that even if I suddenly need time off or away from my phone, I don't just disappear and lose all traction. It also breaks the instant-gratification cycle that you expect when you finish an artwork. It's hard to keep creating when you post something and, when you're expecting to get that gratification, you get none... If you queue your new artwork to come out at a later time, you've separated that expectation - with time. It hurts less and contributes to a more consistent gratification thing instead of peaks and troughs.

~~~ tag ya stuff ~~~ when you're making a new post, the first 20 tags are what gets put into the searchable tags. do not feel shame for using lots of tags. shame is the mind-killer. tags are hard. hard to know what to tag a post with. hard to remember the tags. so I found some ways to help myself. maybe they'll help you too. dedicate some time towards just figuring out what tags you want to use. i have a list in my phone notes that i add tags to and reference whenever i'm making a new post. i have the phone right beside the laptop while i'm tagging so that i can just look at it and scroll. tags are the only way for people to find your artwork, other than people manually coming to your blog because they saw you somewhere. there is no algorithm. posting without tags, until you have an established fanbase, is throwing something into the void.

When I'm doing tag research, I look at what people seem to use - when you put something in the search bar, tumblr recommends you some that have a higher following, typically. Looks like this on desktop:

if you like one tag, look at what other people who use that tag also tag their posts with. Observe and learn how this tag is used. search through a bunch of them and write them down.

here's what i got in my notes, for the specific kind of art I post and look for:

these tags are sort of specific to me and the kind of art I make. You'll want to research your own tags, but this is an example of how I keep them organized to make posting more effective. I generally only write down a tag when it's got more than 2k followers. You might be tempted to use the tags with millions of followers, but I've actually found those a lot less functional for small artists. If your stuff doesn't immediately get a bunch of notifications, you're drowned out and pushed to the bottom much faster. But the bigger tags are better than no tags, so I keep them if I can't think of anything else to tag something with.

~~~ post at the right times….? ~~~

fridays and saturdays is when I post fresh new things... usually. every website has it's own peak hours, and you can find those hours in many different online articles that try to sell you social media growth services. tumblr is unique in having later hours.

here's some random graph from google images:

please don't over think this. please don't let this consume the idea of when to post, preventing you from posting at all. it doesn't mean too much - if you post during very active hours, maybe your art would just be pushed down the feed faster. if you post at the end of hours, maybe everyone's going to sleep… if you post at inactive hours, maybe there's less 'competition'… if you post at the beginning of active hours, maybe that's just more time for your post to circulate for the day, if you have enough people reblogging it once it drops....

this also is in EST. So fuck the other time zones, I guess. I'm over here in europe knowing that the "best" time to post would be like 2-3am or something. It's like this for most english-speaking majority sites - higher traffic in north american time zones.

it's also worth mentioning that this is scattered as heck, compared to other social media sites. and it's not like, the activity times of your followers. it's not the best time to post for your niche. this is just tumblr, broadly. all of tumblr.

~~~ Plan ahead for annual dates ~~~

Your artwork will get more circulation if it's posted on a celebratory day. You could just put them on your calendar and if you're wondering what to make, look on the calendar for what's coming soon. For example, asexual awareness day, trans day of visibility, location-specific holidays, etc. Here's my phone notes thing with my own recorded annuals:

I got these dates from googling and reading different articles, but I find that I still miss dates, and then I add them for next year. If you know of some I missed, tell me and I'll add them please <3

~~~ reblog other people's stuff ~~~

tumblr is sorta about ecosystems. things get passed around within groups of people that are all following eachother. to enter this ecosystem, you must engage and reblog other people's stuff too.

if you reblog other artists' stuff, sometimes they'll come over and reblog your stuff too. sometimes they'll follow you back. this is called becoming a mutual. I'll search specific tags for the kinds of people I want to follow and the kind of art I like - those are listed in the screenshot of my tag note under "Tags for finding new people".

I see a lot of blogs out there that are very clean, posts are tagless, and are only for the artists' content. like scrolling through a portfolio. I imagine this is good for people who are migrating to tumblr but already have their own established fanbase from elsewhere.

you don't need to do reblog other people's stuff on your art blog, you can do this on a separate blog. but if the two don't look very closely correlated, it's hard to tell who you are when you're interacting. and hard to make sure people know that you are the same person as your art blog. and you gotta remember to promote yourself on your personal blog.

~~~ have an art tag ~~~

make your blog easy to search!

if i go to your blog, and you've written 'artist' or 'sometimes art' in your bio, i wanna see it… it make me so sad when i don't get to see it. i want to reblog it. please let me reblog it :(

to make a tag on your own blog searchable, you don't need to repost it to add a tag. you don't even need to reblog it. you can actually just go back to the original post and edit it to add your tag. I've seen post people just have their art tag be something like #(blogname)art . you can see my own in my tags image above. if it's very unique, then it'll work tumblr-wide. I think that's good, since the tumblr search function is really weird. Otherwise it should still work if it's not entirely unique, people just have to make sure they're searching specifically your blog to see only your stuff.

I like to have a link in my pinned post where people can click to have immediately searched for my art tag. Convenience is king. Keep in mind that most people are on mobile, and if something isn't immediately clickable, they often won't find it.

~~~ be consistent and be patient ~~~

!!!this time will pass anyway!!! how many notes you have is not correlated with how good you are as an artist. wanting to earn something from your art means you essentially have two jobs. two potentially full time jobs. this shit's difficult. most of the job is promoting yourself. don't undersell how hard it is to do… don't feel bad for not immediately succeeding. I would write about how hard it's been to promote myself, but it would just be long and sad I think.

This isn't a full guide, please feel free to add more!!

I'm sure in another year I'll disagree with a lot of this, it will become irrelevant with time, and I'll have a lot of different opinions. Chip in and share what you've been doing? Teach me? This is very overwhelming. Don't do it all at once, just like, try one thing at a time, and see how it works for you. Your niche might be different. One size does not fit all. If you're confused about some of the things I talk about in here, you might be on mobile. I do most of my queueing and posting from the desktop browser version.

I will update this with more as things change, but I think you'll have to click through to see the updated post

[luvyblossom]

Love me (not) (Pt.2)

Hello Lovelies!

This ended up being way longer than I intended it to be. The drama has started!! As always please let me know what you thought and interact with this work. Reblogs are always appreciated!

Enjoy Part 2

Warnings: none in this chapter but series contains smut (MDNI)

Series Masterlist

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The next morning, you woke up to find that Hyunjin hadn’t cuddled up to you during the night. He was always a clingy sleeper so it was odd to see his back turned to you. You always woke up before the alarm usually staying still so Hyunjin could sleep longer but today you were able to get up. You sat up, the movement of the mattress letting Hyunjin know you were awake. 

He was awake too. He turned quickly towards you. “ Good morning.” 

“Good morning,” you said with the warm smile that was all the sunshine he needed. Before you could get up he pulled you back down to the bed and into his arms. You let out a whine but did not fight him. 

“Just 5 more minutes. I didn’t sleep well.” Hyunjin whispered into your hair. Your heart did this silly little thing where it skipped a beat and then sped up until it was pounding in your chest as if it was trying to run away. The loud thuds of your heart were the only thing you could hear, you worried they were so loud that Hyunjin could hear too. Your heart often did this around him.

You gave Hyunjin his allotted 5 minutes and then wriggled out of his grasp, relieved to be able to breathe again as your heart beat slowed down. He tried to grab at you again whining, "You don't want me to get any sleep."

" I have class Hyunjin," you laughed after looking at him pouting, still in your bed and still with his eyes closed.

"Skip class. You're ahead anyways. I need a nap." Now his eyes were open looking at you.

" Then take a nap."

" I don't like to sleep alone," he said this quieter. You hadn't known that about him. You thought he usually came by to get a break from all the boys.

You tried not to read into it too much. " I'm sure you can find someone to sleep with," you laughed, "but please not in my bed."

Hyunjin sat up. "I've never actually slept with any of them. They usually leave and I don't let them stay." You learned another thing you hadn't known about your friend. Again, you decided to let the confession go and not read into what it meant that you were the one he slept with. You could never let yourself think too much when it came to Hyunjin, you would go crazy if you did. Instead of giving him a reply you walked to the kitchen and started your coffee maker.

You heard a groan and then the creaking of the bed as Hyunjin got up and joined you in the kitchen. You started cooking Hyunjin's eggs the way he liked them. It was Friday which meant Hyunjin likely had some party to go to and he wouldn't be staying over.

"You're not coming over tonight right?" You asked as you put his breakfast in front of him.

"We're hosting a party at Sigma Chi tonight," he confirmed. "You know you're always invited."

You had absolutely no desire to attend any of those parties. You didn't mind drinking but the atmosphere was always overwhelming and there was always a tipsy creep around. "You know I don't like to go to those. Plus I have a bunch of work to catch up on."

" You should let loose once in a while. You're always working and you never do anything else with me but study," Hyunjin was giving you a little pout. He had tried to get you to attend so many parties. You always denied. What you would dread the most is when Hyunjin would inevitably disappear with some girl for the night and leave you to fend for yourself. It was the being alone part that bothered you, you assured yourself.

"It's not really my thing Hyunjin. You know that."

"If you come I'll show you the piece I'm working on."

That was an intriguing offer. You had never really gotten to see any of Hyunjin's art, only a few projects he's done for his classes. " Can't I just come to see it when there's not a party? You're going to be preoccupied anyways."

"You have to earn a private showing," Hyunjin winked at you. " And I will make sure you have fun, I won't leave you alone."

You weighed your options. You knew that some of your girlfriends were going as well so you wouldn't have to be completely alone. " I'll think about it."

----

"Hey" you greeted Felix as you rushed into your lab. You had just barely made it in time.

"Hi" Felix gave you his bright smile and began to pull out the things you needed.

"I don't know how you're so cheerful this early in the morning," despite saying that you smiled back at Felix, his smile making yours come easy.

"It's easy when I've got you as my lab partner."

That made you blush. Felix periodically said these sweet flirty things that made your ears turn a bit red. You always brushed it off not knowing what to say in return.

"Okay our percent yield isn't bad" you showed Felix the calculations to confirm it was right.

"Yeah it looks good." You both packed up and started heading out. Before you could part ways, Felix turned to you, " Are you and Hyunjin a thing?"

You were used to this question. "No we're just good friends."

"Okay. I'll walk you to your next class." Felix was really quiet as he walked by your side, swinging his arms nervously. "Are you going to the party at Sigma Chi tonight," he asked after what seemed like an eternity of silence.

"I don't know. I don't usually go to those types of things."

Felix didn't respond for another stretch of time. It was strange to have him so quiet. He usually would talk your ear off.

"You should come," he finally said, " Um, we could go together."

You thought about it. Felix's company would get you through the night. You would get to see Hyunjin's art and he would get off your case about 'letting loose.' "Sure, come for 9?"

Felix let out a large breath of air. He had been holding it in waiting for your reply. You made him so goddamn nervous. "O-okay great, yes. See you tonight y/n," he gave you a big grin as you walked into your class.

-----

You slipped on your sneakers when you got the ‘I’m here’ text from Felix. This was the first time in a long time you had taken the time to get ready. You chose to wear a black crop top with a short pleated black skirt. Spending time on yourself, doing you makeup and your hair had actually been fun. You walked out of your apartment feeling confident.

Felix was waiting for you right outside your building. You smiled and waved at him as you walked up. He was in all black like you. A t-shirt that hugged his arms but was slouchy in the torso and black pants. He had a sort of long mullet that really suited him and he was standing there - waiting for you - looking, staring at you as you walked towards him.

“Hey” that’s all he could say. Too nervous to say anything else at the moment. The walk with Felix was so quiet. You didn’t know what was up with him today. You decided to start the conversation.

"So, what do you do aside from bio labs?" Although you had spent hours with Felix weekly, you didn't know much about him.

"I do taekwondo. I have a few matches coming up so it's been busy."

"I know who to go to for self-defense lessons now."

He turned to you with a smile that lit up his eyes. It was so excited and genuine that it caught you off guard as his eyes looked into yours. " I would love to teach you!"

Your heart pounded for the second time today but caused by a different catalyst. You didn't have to suffer too long because you both had reached the party.

Loud music and so many people, you would need alcohol to make it through the night. You turned to Felix, "Drinks?"

He nodded and you began your trek through the crowd of drunk students to the kitchen. On the way, Felix had been stopped by three different girls asking him to join them or dance; he had respectfully declined all of the offers. When you finally got to your destination you were greeted by a table full of alcohol and Seungmin "Hello pretty lady! Nice to see you finally join us," he said as he gave you a quick hug and handed you a glass.

Seungmin was one of the members of the frat and a good friend as well. He looked over at Felix and gave him a quick greeting and a drink before getting close to you,"Brought a date?"

You elbowed Seungmin which was enough to get him to cut his teasing short and leave you and Felix.

"Sorry about all that," Felix nervously scratched the back of his neck again. You understood he was referring to all the times he's been stopped by girls in the crowd.

"No worries, I'm very used to it," you laughed. It hadn't bothered you but you had heard Felix quietly tell them that he was already here with someone and that had made your heart beat a little bit faster. You weren't sure if this was a date or if you were here as friends; you didn't know the answer to Seungmin's question.

While Felix and you spoke and drank you looked into the crowd trying to see if you could spot Hyunjin. When he did finally come into view you saw him with his arm around Jess's waist. You felt a knot in your stomach. You chose to ignore it and turn your attention completely to Felix, hoping he would once again be the perfect distraction.

"Do you want to dance?" The alcohol had given Felix some confidence and allowed you to loosen up.

You followed him to the makeshift dancefloor that was made in the living room by pushing aside all the furniture. It was crowded, forcing you and Felix to sway close to one another. After the first song, Felix found the courage to place his hands on your waist and pull you a bit closer. It felt natural as you placed yours onto his shoulders now swaying to the beat of a slower song.

Felix had held you with just his fingertips but as you placed your hands on him, grazing the back of his neck, he allowed his hands to rest on your waist. His palms were hot against the exposed skin of your back but they gave you goosebumps like you had just been hit by a chill. He pulled you even closer, your chest now touching his and sending another chill through you. The alcohol in your system allowed you to keep swaying as you ran your hands first down his arms feeling his toned biceps. Then you ran them back up to trace over his collar bone before dragging them down his chest. His chest was hard and as you moved down you could feel the definition of his abs. You didn't know he had been hiding all that, it made sense that he did taekwando you thought to yourself. You ran your hands back up his chest before tracing over his neck and finding your way to the back of his neck to tangle into his hair.

The whole time Felix's eyes focused on you, taking in the way you admired him. When he felt your hands tug at his hair he let out a sharp breath, not knowing that he had been holding it in. You looked at him, studying his features. Moving from his eyes to the freckles that peppered over his cheeks and nose until finally landing on his pink almost pouty lips. "You're so pretty," it came out hushed as you moved your fingers to trace over his jawline.

Felix let out a chuckle that sounded like it had a hint of a groan, "I should be saying that to you-" He stopped speaking as you moved your fingers up to trace his lips. You looked back into his eyes, your thumb still making its way across his bottom lip which was now slightly parted. You could feel your heart pounding, drowning out the music and noise around you as you continued to match his fiery stare. Felix followed suite as he brought one of his hands up to your face to gently move a stray piece of hair behind your ear. He ran his finger down to your chin, tracing your cheek before tilting your face up to him. His face moved closer to yours at an agonizing pace. Finally his lips hovered right by yours, almost touching-

"Ah!" You yelped as you felt a hand snake around your waist and pull you back. You collided into something hard behind you. As you recovered from your surprise, you looked at Felix to see him looking behind you. You turned around to face a muscular chest before pushing away from the assailant to see who it was. You looked up to see Hyunjin glaring at Felix. He looked down at you as he felt your push.

"Y/n, you didn't tell me you were coming." His eyes were dark pools. His words sounded harsh making you feel as though you had done something wrong.

You glared back at Hyunjin recovering from the surprise. You mouthed to him ' What the fuck??' You turned around to face Felix, there was a significant distance between the two of you. You pushed against Hyunjins forearm, that was still wrapped around your waist, to walk towards Felix. Hyunjin just tightened his hold on you pulling you closer against him, "I promised I'd show you my paintings." He started to turn with you pressed against him to get off the dancefloor.

Before you were forced to follow you turned and gave Felix an apologetic look. "I'm sorry! I'll be back," you shouted so he could hear you over the music. Felix gave you a little smile and a nod before you were quite literally dragged out of his view. Hyunjin didn't let go of you until you reached his bedroom. He opened the door and lead you in, finally letting you go and closing the door behind you two. Before you could start to go off on Hyunjin you were stopped in your tracks. Jess was perched on the end of his bed as if it was her place.

"What are you doing here?" Hyunjin asked. Jess walked past you slightly pushing you as she went and draped herself on Hyunjin.

You couldn't do this. You were fuming as you walked out of his room, slamming the door behind you. You had maybe had a bit too much to drink you realized as you stumbled down the stairs. You decided that it was not enough by the time you reached the last step, proceeding to the kitchen and downing some shots before finding your way to a beer pong table where Felix was expertly aiming his ball. He stopped when he saw you and held out the ball gesturing you to join him. You grabbed for the ball but ended up missing completely and stumbling into him.

"Are you okay?" Felix asked, his face was painted in concern as he held you up.

"I'm fine," your voice betraying you as your words slurred and tears started to blur your vision.

"Let's get out of here?" It was more of a statement than a question but you nodded in agreement. Felix helped you out the door and to the sidewalk where the music was no longer ringing in your ears. "What happened?" He looked at you as he wiped away the tears that had streamed down your face.

" Hyunjin is an ass." You said conclusively. You sank down to your knees, feeling so exhausted. You could feel the concrete on your bare legs. You were too tired to move, too tired to cry and too tired to feel. You would have laid down if Felix wasn't holding you up.

"Y/n, get up. We need to get you home."

"I'm tired," you made no move to get up. "Home is too far."

"I live close to here. C'mon." Felix was kneeling in front of you so you could climb onto his back. You used the last of your energy to climb on, greatful for your saviour.

" You're stronger than I thought you would be," you slurred on and let your hands briefly feel his chest. " So muscular." Felix chuckled in response.

He didn't make you walk at all. You don't know how but he maneuvered his door open and carried you into a bedroom allowing you slip off him and onto the bed. You felt him take your shoes off and then he left the room. You were already dozing off when Felix returned. You felt something wet on your face making you whine as it disturbed your sleep.

" Shh. I just have to take your makeup off and then you can sleep." Felix hushed you. You opened your eyes to see Felix focused on carefully wiping your face. You smiled. " What?" Felix asked, seeing you staring at him.

" You're like my hero. Thank you." Your words were genuine despite coming out slurred.

A blush set over Felix's face as he continued wiping away your makeup. " Okay all done. Sleep tight y/n." He pulled the covers over you and turned off the light before leaving the room.

_____

Your head was pounding. You squinted as you opened your eyes, the sunlight pouring in through the window was too bright. Your eyes adjusted as you rose up onto your elbows and looked around. You were not in your room. The room you were in had a desk with a full gaming set-up. There was a shelf crowded with medals and books and the rest of the walls were covered in band posters. You found the strength to get out of the strange bed and venture out. You were met with an unfamiliar man sitting in the living room only further confusing you.

" Felix, she's up." He didn't bother greeting you but you were happy to hear a familiar name. Felix popped his head out from under the kitchen island which was right behind their living room.

"Y/n, how'd you sleep?" He asked as he walked to you and handed you a glass of orange juice and an aspirin. He guided you to sit on the couch. "This is Minho, my roommate." Minho gave you a small wave but didn't bother to look at you.

You took the pill and gulped down the orange juice. As you sat you started to remember your night. The almost kiss, Hyunjin and Jess and the stuff you said to Felix. You started to turn red, feeling embarrassed at the actions of drunk you. "I slept okay. I -uh sorry."

"I don't mind, it's not everyday I get to be someone's hero," Felix teased.

You groaned and buried your face in your hands not wanting to look at him. He just laughed at your reaction before getting up. He placed a plate with pancakes on your lap when he returned. "I don't think I can eat," the embarrassment and alcohol making you queasy. Felix however, did make sure you ate and drank a bunch of water before letting you leave.

“Thank you for everything." You said as you opened the passenger door. He had also insisted on giving you a ride home. As if he could get any sweeter.

" I hope you figure it out with Hyunjin." He gave you a soft smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"There’s nothing to figure out. He shouldn't have dragged me away like that." You started to feel the anger again as you rubbed your temples. " I owe you one."

As you got into your elevator you finally checked your phone. Felix had charged it overnight to make sure it wouldn't die. You had 20 missed calls and atleast 10 texts from Hyunjin. You decided not to open them until after you'd had a shower and maybe a nap.

You opened your apartment door to be greeted by Hyunjin. He had dozed off on your couch, still in his clothes from last night. Your heart softened just a bit, feeling bad that he had come looking for you.

Your entry into the apartment had stirred Hyunjin awake. " Y/n?" he asked as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He saw it was you and he was fully awake now. He stood up. "Where The Fuck Were You?"

Hyunjin had never raised his voice at you before so his tone took you by surprise. His question managed to wash away the slight bit of sympathy you had felt for him earlier, replacing everything with rage. You didn't shout. " That is none of your business."

" What the fuck do you mean it's none of my business?" Hyunjin walked over to you, your strong front beginning to dissolve as he moved closer. He took a deep breath and let it out, softening his gaze as he moved his hand to your face to gently move a stray hair out of your face. "I was so worried about you," he said in a much softer tone that sounded like your Hyunjin.

Your anger had completely dissipated at this point, your breath hitching as you tried to find words while he stood this close to you. You instead chose to bury your face in his chest so he'd wrap his arms around you. You were still exhausted and just wanted comfort. Your heart had been doing somersaults consistently for the past two days and you needed everything to be calm. It was a marvel how this man could make your heart jump but put you at ease so easily.

Hyunjin let you relax in his arms. The conversation wasn't over but he felt your exhaustion. He was tired too having barely slept last night while trying to find you. You looked up at Hyunjin torn between staying the way that you were or going to bed. " You can shower first," you decided bed was the move.

You crawled into the covers next to Hyunjin, your hair still damp because you had been too lazy to blow dry it. You were ready for a real rest until it was interrupted by Hyunjin, "We still need to talk."

You didn't look at him. "About?"

"About where you were last night and why you ran off."

You were only ready to answer one of those questions. "Stayed over at Felix's place."

Hyunjin tensed. That was what he had dreaded hearing from you. He tried to keep his tone even, "Did anything happen?"

You turned over onto your stomach propping your face on your arms so you could look at him, "Why are you being so nosy?"

"I don't like him."

You rolled your eyes. " Is that why you dragged me away last night?" Hyunjin refused to reply. "I'm not crazy about your hookups either. You'll live. At least he tries to be nice to you."

"What happened?" Hyunjin wouldn't drop the subject.

"Does it matter?"

"Yes - you were so drunk. Could you even consent?" Hyunjin was so tense waiting for an answer from you.

"Jeez. He was a perfect gentleman and nothing happened. He carried me cause I was so tired, let me take his bed, removed my makeup, made sure I ate breakfast and drove me home." You couldn't help but smile as you thought about how sweet Felix had been. You knew he was nice but he had been so gentle and caring with you.

Hyunjin should have been relieved, happy to hear what he had wanted. But a sinking feeling grew in the pit of his stomach as he saw you sit there grinning while talking about him. Was it because he was too used to you only smiling at him? Hyunjin tried to get rid of his thoughts. He was the one with you, Felix had not even been invited up. He dragged you in towards him, holding you tighter than he usually did causing you to yelp. "Time to sleep."

--------------

You woke up as the sun was setting, a bit disoriented from the prolonged nap. You grabbed your phone from your beside table opening it to see a text from Felix: Hope you got some rest, are you busy next Friday?

No, I don't think so

His reply came quick. Do you want to go on a hike?

I would want that

I'll pick you up at 6. We can watch the sunset

You let out a giddy giggle as you kicked the air. Butterflies were fluttering in your stomach. Your outburst woke up Hyunjin. He groaned with his eyes still closed and pulled up the blanket to cover his face. “What?”

“Guess what”

“ What?” He said not moving.

“I think I have a date.” You were still giddy. “ It may not be a date though,” you weren’t sure if maybe Felix didn’t feel that way about you.

Hyunjin’s eyes opened and he shot up when he heard you say the word ‘date.’ “ With who?”

“Felix. I mean he asked but maybe he doesn’t like me like that. What do you think?” You opened up your texts and shoved your phone in Hyunjin’s hand.

He read the very short conversation with his brows furrowed. He looked at you now, his chocolate brown eyes filled with dismay.

“What? Do you think I misread the situation?”

Hyunjin looked away from you. “ Uh- no I don’t think you misread the situation. You want to go out with him?” He avoided your eyes not wanting to give away the bitterness that was spreading through him.

“Yes I do. I think I really like him.” You hoped the feeling was mutual. You weren’t sure what you expected, but you liked him and it was nice to feel special to someone. “I will make dinner tonight!”

“I should get going I can’t stay over tonight. I told Jess I’d see her.” Hyunjin got out of bed and slipped on his hoodie, still avoiding your eyes.

"I’ll talk to you tomorrow then,” this time you were able to stomach her name. Felix was the right choice, you didn’t have to push away any feelings.

Hyunjin said a quiet goodbye to you before walking out the door.

He didn’t call you the next day.

-----------------------------------

End of Part 2

This is an original work. Do not republish or repost this work in any form, including translations.

©LuvyBlossom

[leebrontide]

Secondhand Origin Stories, Chapter 8

Here's this week's chapter! Reblogs welcome!

For those of you just joining us, I'm posting a chapter a week of my free near future scifi/low neon cyberpunk YA/NA novel, Secondhand Origin Stories, which has been described as

"-a character driven, compelling story full of family, queerness, corruption, brain altering nanites, secretly teen parenting AIs, and taking aspects of the superhero genre to their very human and rarely-explored natural conclusions."

For content warnings and more, check here:

You can follow along by following #SHOSweekly

Chapter 8

Issac was sure he had a pad of paper around here somewhere. That was a thing desks contained. Pads of paper. He must have had a reason to use one at least once in his life. His tablet was on the desk, and it lit up. He tried to read it without looking like he noticed it. 

MARTIN: Issac, why do you keep going to Jenna’s old apartment?

Issac couldn’t explain, so he kept rummaging. If he told Martin what he was planning, Martin wouldn’t be able to keep quiet. One of his most central protocols was to protect Issac, Yael, and Jamie. He couldn’t out and out disobey certain codes of conduct. 

This wasn’t Martin’s first message about this. But he hadn’t kept Issac out, either. 

No good. Issac did not, himself, own a pad of paper. He tried the kitchen. He’d made it through three drawers before he noticed Jamie, frozen on the far side of the room like he’d caught her with her hand in his wallet. Because she had her guitar with her.

So he was even screwing up Jamie. She’d put in years of practice and gotten damn good, and now she thought she couldn’t even be seen carrying a guitar in front of him. He wondered if Dad would try to hide the grand piano in his apartment. Maybe Issac would just never set foot inside Dad’s apartment again.

That was a possibility.

Success. A sheet of paper and a pen. 

He turned it over-- there was writing along the back. A quick scan showed it was one of Mom’s camping plans. In Chicago, she was all printed suits and perfect hair, but once a year or so, she’d disappear into some woods somewhere to “live off the land” for a couple weeks. She went all out-- hunted or foraged her own food-- the whole nine yards. But it was still Mom, so the plan was neatly printed and had a date at the top. Looked like she was planning a trip. Trying to get away from the mess inside?

No…this list was supplies for two people, not one. And didn’t note anything being extra large. Jamie and camping just didn’t mix.

Which meant she was planning to invite Issac onto her wilderness adventure. Let him get out of the tower.

He’d gone with her once before. It lasted too long, and he didn’t have a taste for hunting, but actually…it had been nice, overall. She always said those trips cleared her head.

If this all went wrong, she’d hate him forever.

He headed out to the courtyard, ignoring Jamie as much as he’d been ignoring Martin. He stopped dead. There were a bunch of people in the courtyard. Sweaty, burly strangers in dusty pants. Oh, and hard hats. The construction workers. Of course. 

OK. OK, that was fine. Issac looked OK. As long as he focused on only one thing at a time so he wouldn’t freak himself out, he was OK. This didn’t change his plan. He’d accounted for strangers in Jenna’s place. Turning a gaping hole into an empty shell. He didn’t need that room anymore anyway. 

Instead, he slipped into the central column between the elevators, shutting the door carefully behind him. Just like a human, Martin couldn’t see into the center of himself. Without a tablet, Issac was safely out from under Martin’s eyes when he was sitting essentially inside Martin’s brain.

Issac made a complete loop around the server column to make sure he was alone, then sat with his back against the door, so no one could surprise him. 

He braced the paper on his knees. 

This was not a suicide note. He had to keep reminding himself of that. This was a strictly worse-case-scenario backup. More like a will. Adults kept a will even when they weren’t dying. So it wasn’t half as morbid as it seemed.

It wasn’t how he would have planned to spend the morning of his 18th birthday, but he couldn’t test his nanites without getting this done first. Just in case. 

He didn’t address it. If this letter got found, his family would know it was for them.

He stared at the blank yellow and delicate blue lines of the page, Mom’s plan faintly visible from the other side.

How the hell did you write something like this? Maybe it was better to not overthink it? 

He put pen to paper.

 If you’re reading this, then I failed and I’m sorry. I really did try. 

Dad, Drew, Jenna. I know you’ll all understand. It’s practically a family tradition to take a risk like this, right? Jamie, I know you would if you could.

He stopped his pen just before he could ask them to keep the others from hating him. That was probably too much to ask.

I want everyone to know I knew the risks and chose this anyway. 

Issac’s hands were freezing. Was the AC on overdrive, or was that just his circulatory system panicking? 

Never mind. That didn’t matter. He’d said enough about himself. He had to get to the important part. 

I need you all to know something. Martin is a PERSON. He’s been growing and developing for years, and now he’s a real, sentient synthetic intelligence. He’s self-aware. He has feelings. They’re not exactly like ours, but they map out pretty well. And he loves us. We’re his family. Please, I need you all to take care of him. He’s not legally a “person” so he hasn’t got any rights. People could destroy him. Or worse, they could take him apart. They could section out his mind and take away who he is and he’d know. He’d be aware of it. You remember “Flowers for Algernon”? Like that. God that story creeped me out. Even before Jenna. 

Why did you make me read that book?

He crossed out the last sentence. They wouldn’t be able to answer him.

Don’t let them make him like Jenna. Please, make sure they never do that. He really loves you all! And he’s never told me anybody’s secrets, I swear. He does his job like everyone else in the family, but without sleeping or stopping for even a second. If I’m dead, I know you’ll be thinking about memorials. This is what I want. Bury my research if you want, since it didn’t work. I don’t care. All I want is for all of you to take care of Martin. Please.

I’m sorry I never told you. 

It wasn’t a good letter. It wouldn’t be any comfort to them. But it should be enough to protect Martin. Which was fine, because this wasn’t a suicide note. He shoved away years’ worth of unanswered questions, unvoiced thoughts, and feelings that you just didn’t talk about on a day-to-day basis. If he wrote any of that, this would become something else. 

Issac wouldn’t die. 

He almost for sure wouldn’t die.

He shut his eyes. His hands were definitely shaking now. He balled them into fists, shoved them between his legs and his body, and curled in on himself, trying to make them stop. He could do this. He just had to believe in himself. Just stay the course, like the generation before him. They’d all made it through. And Issac must have something of his dad in him, right? Their resemblance was more than skin deep. It had to be.

Something touched his butt. He flung himself away from that creepy crawling sensation, like a huge bug. 

Skittles landed on her back half a foot away from where he’d been sitting. She flipped back over in an instant and flattened herself under the door, back out into the courtyard, before Issac could even process what had happened.

He threw the door open, but Skittles was long gone. A construction worker stopped to give him a funny look. 

Issac shut himself back in the central corridor and let himself collapse back down against the carpet. He was so tired of freaking out over every single thing that startled him.

He scrawled Yael, Skittles was alive and in the central hub at about 9:15 this morning. Start your search there. Then he folded up the note, crammed it in his pocket, and turned to the control hatch. 

For this, he’d have to turn off Martin’s sensors and communication. But this time, he’d set them to come back on after two hours. By the end of the day, Martin, at least, would be back to normal.

* * *

Jamie couldn’t believe Issac had talked Mom into going in to work today. She almost wanted to be mad at Mom about it. How could Mom choose today to physically check in at work?

Mom went to work because Issac seemed to be doing so much better. He was up and moving around, working and eating, doing everything he should. He’d been faking normal astonishingly well since he’d gotten Yael and Jamie to agree to his plan.  He’d told Mom she should go, so Mom was showing Issac she trusted him. 

Just like Jamie was.

On his stupid birthday. 

She tasted bile, and ignored it. She focused on the view outside-- there was a stunning thunderstorm rolling in from the distance. Ordinarily she’d park herself on the couch until it passed, and watch the jewels of the city lights scatter across wet pavement between flashes of lightning. It would be a big one. The foot she’d broken climbing a tree as a kid ached sharply.

Yael came in, trying so hard to be nonchalant xe was setting new standards in conspicuousness. Xe was even wearing a traffic-cone orange shirt. Xe looked around. “Are we--”

“Alone.” Jamie confirmed. “Issac’s in his bedroom, setting up. The sensors are already off.”

Yael started a short, pacing loop. “Tell me you think this is a bad idea.”

This is an incredibly bad idea. “I mean, I’m not exactly excited about it--”

“Excited about it? ‘Brilliant scientist defies international regulations and develops secret altering technology to test on himself’? We know this story! This building exists because of that exact story.”

“More because of altereds threatening other people--” Jamie started. 

“There wouldn’t even be so many altereds if those scientists hadn’t used other people like lab rats so they could get ready for their own alteration--”

“But Issac’s only risking himself. He’s not even trying to be altered. He’s just trying to be normal again.”

“His nanites could be so easily misused--”

“All the more reason to keep them secret,” Jamie argued. 

“Even from the APB?” Yael challenged.

“Especially from them!” Jamie shot back with venom. She couldn’t stand to think of Issac falling into APB hands, now. She’d looked up information about how deaf people fared in prisons. There was no way she would ever let that happen to Issac.

Yael stopped mid-pace. “Since when do you distrust our home?”

“They’re not our home. They’re, at most, our neighbors. And since I looked into what they’re really doing.”

“What they’re-- you know what they’re doing! All our parents work for them, and have, for longer than you’ve been alive.”

“If you’d read what I’ve been reading--”

Issac walked into the living room, booting up his tablet. “I’m ready.” Jamie felt like the leaden announcement should have been followed by a window-rattling thunder clap. But the storm was still too distant, and the pressure wouldn’t break for a while yet. 

Jamie looked at Yael with deliberate challenge in her eyes. “Are you going to tell?”

Issac looked at Yael, hurt and alarm radiating from every feature. Jamie could see his expression hit xyr, and xe buckled. “No. I won’t tell.”

Issac relaxed a tiny bit, and headed back to his room. Jamie and Yael followed wordlessly. 

He sat on his bed, and started opening little bandage-like packages. Inside, there were small, transparent squares veined with circuits and wires, sticky on one side. He arranged them on different spots on his head as he spoke, not looking at them or his tablet.

Issac’s voice shook, but his tone suggested he didn’t know it. “Right, for you two it’s pretty simple. Yael, watch the door and keep anyone else from getting in. Jamie, you’re a failsafe. If I have a seizure lasting more than four minutes and the system doesn’t automatically power down, you just hit this red button right here. Easy.”

Jamie goggled. “What?” 

He paused to read as he sat down, then glared at her. “What? It’s just pushing a button and reading time. At most. You can do that.”

Yael balked, too. “You never said anything about seizures.”

Issac shrugged nervously. “Just a possible side effect of additional electrical charge. It’ll ride itself out.”

Jamie covered her face with her hands, tasting bile again, feeling the acid of it against her throat. Don’t throw up. This was no time for throwing up. Issac needed her. When she pulled her eyes back up, Issac seemed to be done with the sensor stickers, and held a little vial of gray dust. She watched in stunned horror as he tipped it into his ear. Her heart hammered in her throat. 

Yael blanched, as shocked as Jamie by the suddenness of it. Xe pressed xyr back to the door. Xe looked to Jamie, but Jamie had nothing but her own shock to mirror back. “I’ll…get to my post,” xe said, and slipped out. 

Jamie was left alone with Issac. He lay back on the bed, a display on an adjustable arm above his face. He poked buttons on his homemade software. 

He ignored her as she pulled over his desk chair and sat. His translation software wasn’t available to him, now. And he’d never come to even one ASL lesson. She couldn’t talk to him. Reasoning with him was impossible, and way too late.

She repositioned his alarm clock. In case she needed it.

Half an hour passed with him fiddling with his own brain. Plenty of time for her to consider how badly this could go. How even the best case scenario would enrage their parents beyond all reason. How she’d never really asked him to go into detail about possible worst case scenarios.

She couldn’t stop thinking about Jenna. Jenna had been the smartest person in the building for most of Jamie’s life. In any crisis, she was calm, collected, and usually ready with a snappy comeback that broke the tension in the room. She remembered Jenna with her face streaked with frustrated tears as she struggled with remembering how the microwave worked. Coughing through smoke because of another dinner burnt hopelessly, but refusing to leave the microwave as she tried over and over to figure it out. How mad Jenna got every time someone tried to help.

If this went badly, would Issac be like that? Scraping furiously at limitations he’d never had before? Refusing help?

The storm still didn’t break. She couldn’t look out the window to check on it. She watched her brother.

Issac chewed his lower lip, staring at the screen, looking for some pattern or indicator Jamie wouldn’t understand. For a while, it seemed like nothing was happening. Jamie started to hope that the nanites were totally nonfunctional. Maybe Issac could try again later, with more testing, and someone better to help him than Jamie.

In tiny increments, Issac’s expression started to change. First, it looked like he was in pain. But it wasn’t enough to make him break his focus. He kept inputting commands into the program. Then, he was breathing hard, and starting to sweat. His hands started shaking, just slightly. He’d push a few buttons, and wait. Then push some more buttons, and wait, reading the display in front of him. She couldn’t ask questions.

Issac’s whole body jerked, arching backwards. He made a straining, strangled noise. Jamie got up on her knees, reaching for him, trying to see what was wrong.

"No!" Issac gulped, pushing himself jerkily back into his previous position. "It’s fine. Just a couple went astray. It’s fine." He did not sound fine. His teeth were gritted and his hands were twitching strangely. He reached for the screen, but his hand jerked off course and hit a different part of the touchscreen. "No. Blue button. Hit the--” Jamie rushed to obey, hitting the blue button he’d been reaching for. Issac reached for the display screen again. His breathing was heavily labored. This didn’t look right. A nerve for hearing shouldn’t do this.

He hit another series of buttons, and watched the screen. Then more buttons, and more watching. His hands were still shaking, but not jerking anymore. Jamie settled back onto the chair again, staring at Issac as hard as she could, as if watching him hard enough could protect him. According to the clock, this continued for another agonizing 20 minutes. Issac staring, twitching, and punching buttons on the screen while Jamie’s eyes dried out, both of them turning damp with sour-smelling sweat.

The twitches were getting worse. She started counting, timing them. Issac’s leg spasmed a couple times, but he didn’t say anything further to Jamie. Didn’t even seem to remember that Jamie was there. Jamie tried not to think about throwing up. She couldn’t afford that distraction. Issac sucked a breath noisily through his teeth. Jamie couldn’t be sure if that was an effect of the procedure or just plain fear. Or pain. Jamie wasn't breathing so well, either, and the sound of the two of them struggling for oxygen was only making things worse for Jamie.

Then, reaching for the screen, Issac’s hand froze. Jamie looked back to his face. His eyes rolled back in his head and partly closed. His whole body spasmed and constricted, arching painfully. A seizure. Jamie’s heart stopped.

She grabbed the screen to turn it off. To use the kill switch.

But Issac had said not to. To time it. How long had it been so far? A second? An hour? Was it already too late? Jamie swallowed, hard. No, it couldn’t have been more than a couple of seconds. There was a clock embedded in the screen. Jamie forced herself to stare at it, to not look at Issac. The clock didn’t move. Why not? Was it broken? Was there something wrong with time? Had time stopped?

After an eternity, the digits switched. A second. She had been staring at it for a second.

She was supposed to wait for four minutes.

She looked over at Issac. If she turned it off now, instead of waiting, Issac wouldn’t know. She could turn it off. She could turn it off right now. Issac was still twitching, his body arching and contorting unnaturally. There was saliva at the corner of his mouth.

Jamie looked back at the screen. Another two seconds had passed. What was wrong with time all of a sudden?

She could turn this off. She could.

She didn’t.

She waited.

30 seconds.

A minute.

Two minutes. Issac was starting to turn blue. Could he breathe like this? Could his lungs move any better than his spine, his hands? Could his heart?

Two and a half minutes.

Three minutes. Getting bluer. All the red was drained from his face, leaving only white, and that awful blue at his lips.

Three and a half. What if he was dead? What if he was just twitching because of nanites and electricity, and he was already dead? Other than the twitching, he looked dead. Like the corpse of somebody who’d died in agony.

What if she was sitting here, watching Issac die, and not doing anything?

Three and a quarter. Jamie broke. She pushed the kill switch as hard as she could. Her finger punctured the thin film, distorting the image hopelessly.

 Had it worked? Did it turn off? Her vision swam-- from tears or panic, she couldn’t tell. “Yael! Yael it went wrong get help get an ambulance get Mom or Dad or--!” She heard a shuffling, then rapid pounding, as Yael took off running.

She looked over at Issac. No change. Still blue. Still twitching. Jamie felt a whimper escape her throat. She let go of the screen.

She stared at her brother. She couldn’t bring herself to understand what she was seeing. Her mind shut down rather than comprehend that this was Issac, dying or dead, right next to her. That there was nothing she could do. It was too late.

Why had she waited so long? Why had she helped him with this stupid plan?

She felt lightheaded, and realized that she was holding her breath along with her brother. Could his hand still be twitching like that if he was dead?

The handle to Issac’s bedroom door embedded in the wall with a bang. She didn’t even jump. Dad rushed to Issac, just in time for Issac to go limp. Used-up air left him in a gust. She felt, more than heard, the whimper in the back of her throat. 

Dad had never looked like this before. She couldn’t think of any word but desperate. His hands reached for Issac’s throat, his wrist, looking for a pulse. Jamie remembered dimly how he’d complained before that pulses were hard for the sensors on his hands to pick up. It’d been a problem in the field. Jamie hadn’t checked for a pulse. She’d forgotten. She’d messed up. Of course she should have checked for a pulse. 

Then, Drew was there, shoving Dad away, replacing sensors with nerves. They held their breaths together. Drew's pronouncement was sharp, decisive. “He’s alive.”

Jamie exhaled. Dad’s head hung forward in what would have been relief if the rest of him hadn’t been almost shaking with tension. 

MARTIN’s voice sounded from a far hallway where it was still active. “EMTs on the way up.”

Drew looked at Jamie, and she fought not to recoil. “What happened.”

“He…the nanites. But it…it went wrong.” Her voice was shaking, so thin it was barely there.

Dad made a noise like he was choking. He was still kneeling by Issac. He'd taken Issac’s other limp wrist in his hand, still looking for the pulse Drew had found, trying to feel it himself. He rested one hand on Issac’s chest. Jamie strained to see it rise and fall. Drew had said he was alive, and Drew would never make a mistake about that, but she wanted to see it.

"Don't. Your hand's too heavy--” Drew picked Dad’s hand up, and Dad let him, but he didn't move from crouching over Issac, sitting on the cusp of the bed. 

Jamie could hear Yael from a distance-- a greater distance than she'd have thought possible. Miles away, at least. "Through here! He's in here!"

EMTs appeared with swift, professional precision. One of them tried to get Dad to move. His back was to Jamie, blocking her view of her dad, but she saw the EMT jerk back away from him.

"Neil! Move!" Drew barked. "Give them room to work."

Dad rose, dazed, and moved back several paces. The EMTs swarmed. Jamie lost track of anyone not around Issac’s bed. Then she lost track of what they were saying.

Issac was given oxygen, and transferred to a gurney. Nobody else moved. 

Then they started to move Issac. Dad tried to follow. Drew stepped in. "Neil, sit down. You look like you're gonna pass out. I'll go with him. Take a minute to breathe, then come downstairs. OK? Don't pass out on the stretcher. That's bad."

Dad's posture shifted, angry, but his voice still seemed distant. "I can't not--"

Drew held his ground. "You're going to. Get your head on straight, then come. You remember how you were when Mel was in labor? We're not doing that again. Sit. Breathe. Then come." Drew left with the EMTs. Dad stayed.

That was the first time Jamie noticed Yael, xyr huge bulk tucked near the door, gripping xyr own arms and looking lost.

Dad turned and walked slowly to Issac’s bed, to sit in the tangle of blue and white bedding. He stared at the floor, the upper half of his body bent forward and down. His eyes were red, wide, and blind to everything, his face as pale as Issac’s had been. Slowly, his eyes slid up the floor to the door of Issac’s room. He blinked a few times, as if he was waking up.

Jamie wanted to wake up. Wanted this to all be a bad dream, warning her not to go forward with Issac’s plan. There was nothing she wanted more than to wake up and run to Mom or Dad and tell them everything, bureau be damned. 

But when Dad woke up, just like Jamie, he was still here. The punctured display still hung above the overturned chair. 

For one terrifying moment, Jamie thought he was going to cry. His chin trembled.

In the span of a breath, everything that seemed about to shake apart turned to granite. 

His eyes moved to Jamie, and she froze. His voice was the thunder that had been hanging in the distance all day. “What happened."

Jamie couldn't speak, couldn't even swallow. She couldn't bring herself to tell him. What Issac had done, what he'd told her. What she'd sat by and let happen. Her guilt lodged in her throat, and she couldn't breathe. 

Her dad was one of the fastest people alive. He was standing over her before Jamie'd realized he'd moved. The thunder was right over her head. "What happened. What did you do."

Jamie’d never seen him look at anyone the way he was looking at her now, bloodshot eyes locked on hers. He seemed impossibly huge. Unstoppable. "What did you do,"” he demanded. His voice was raising-- louder, but lower. She could swear it shook the floor.

He came towards her-- too fast. Jamie was rooted in place. 

Then Yael was there, between them, shoving him back. "Stay away from her!"

"I told you to keep your fucking hands off me!" Dad roared back. He stepped forward. Yael's hand shot out, grabbing him. Jamie didn’t understand how anything could be bigger than Dad, but Yael loomed over him. 

But xe couldn't force him back. He braced his feet. Marble tile cracked underneath them. Jamie could hear Yael strain. "Don’t. Touch. Her."

"I said move!"

Something cracked. Not marble. Something muffled. 

Jamie wanted to shout, too. To tell them to stop. Why were they doing this? She didn't trust herself to move a hair. She felt dizzy. 

They shifted, moved just enough for Jamie to get a clear view of what was happening. Yael’s face was contorted with rage. Any tears were trapped inside the blackened silver encasing xyr. One hand gripped Dad’s shoulder, the other gripped his other arm. 

Jamie knew her dad had killed people. She'd never seen it. This must be what he would look like when he did it. He pushed Yael. Almost seemed to be winning. Xe surged forward again, just enough to clamp xyr hand onto his shoulder. Xe twisted xyr thumb, and Jamie heard a second sickening crack as his flesh indented all wrong. Dad didn't even flinch. 

Too much. The world, far away a second ago, suddenly crowded in against her. Something in Jamie snapped. Shrill and breathless as her voice was, it was loud. “Enough!” 

Fighter’s reflexes meant they both saw Jamie draw her gauntlet on them the moment she’d done it. “Stop right now!” she commanded. “No more fighting or I drop you both! This isn’t helping Issac!”

Solomon appeared at the edge of Jamie’s vision, but stopped at the sight of them. “Yael, go with your dad. Dad, sit down.”

Solomon took that for an order, and moved to pull Yael away from Dad. Jamie still felt lightheaded. Her eyes were starting to swim with tears, but when they cleared, Solomon had both hands on Yael and was dragging xyr away. Xe wasn’t fighting, but xe kept xyr gleaming metal eyes on Dad, and Dad watched xyr with all the fury of a force of nature in his own dark eyes. Dad didn’t sit. 

Once Yael was out of the room, Jamie's knees buckled under her, and she went down. She clutched her stomach, trying for a split second to fight the inevitable as her mouth filled with saliva. 

She grabbed the wastepaper basket next to Issac’s desk. Barely in time. There wasn't much-- breakfast had been beyond her today, but her body shuddered with the force of pushing up stomach acid. She fought it, desperately grabbing for control of her own body, but every time she came close, she lost immediately. 

Just as she thought she might be winning, she looked up enough to see Dad, walking out the door. 

* * *

Papa’s grip was a vice around xyr wrist, pulling xyr through the courtyard, through their own front door. Dimly, xe knew that if xe tried, xe could shake him off. He wasn’t any stronger than Yael. Without using major violence, he couldn’t physically make Yael do anything. Xe still couldn’t believe that he would.

But xe couldn’t make xyrself pull out of his grip, either. Xe needed to go after Issac, but xe was too scared to do it.

Once they were isolated, Papa pulled xyr arm around, making xyr face him. He looked as betrayed as xe felt, but his reasons were all wrong. He didn’t let go of xyr. “What were you thinking?! What in God’s name were you thinking!”

“You don’t even know what’s going on!” Xe shot back.

Yael didn’t want this fight. Xe was already so mad at Neil, and Issac, and xyrself, even a little bit at Jamie. A note of pleading bled through the anger in xyr voice, begging him to understand. To help. “He was attacking Jamie!”

He closed his eyes, physically blocking the truth as he shook his head. “He was not. He wouldn’t. The only attacker here was you! How could you do this?”

Xe snapped xyr wrist out of his grip. Xe took a step back. He wasn’t going to help. 

“And put that away,” Papa commanded. He meant xyr silver. Xyr protection.

Xyr inheritance. 

Xyr voice rumbled through xyr, slow and cold. “I see. I get it, now. You can’t see the betrayal right in front of you because you’re too busy seeing the betrayal you’ve always expected.”

Papa’s eyes widened, and he scrambled for denial. “No. I expected better of you.” He was always, always so bad at lying. It hurt.

“I wish I believed you. A month ago, a week ago, I would have tried. You don’t trust me enough to talk to my own uncle. You can’t even talk to me about my own parents.”

His breath came up short, but he was too proud to move his feet away from xyr. 

Xe stepped towards him. His knees bent as if to step back, but he held his ground. He was a hero. Which meant Yael had to be something else. Xe’d made a vow to xyrself, for him, years ago. But that was when Yael dreamed of being a hero. Back when xe trusted him and his promises of what xe could be. It was as if xe could feel that promise and xyr vow splinter in xyr hands. 

This shapeshift was so much easier than any other. All xe had to do was lean on xyr own features and the memories of old, secretly-studied news clips and articles.

First, xe resurrected Ezekiel's body and face. He was the easiest. Xe had his hair.

It was so much easier than mimicking Papa’s features. 

Papa lost his footing, staggering backwards. Xe could see greyed sunlight reflecting off of Yael in his eyes. He gasped as if xe’d slammed xyr fist into him.

Papa had said, just once, that Ezekiel’s temper was at his beck and call, like a guard dog. So Yael had found another inheritance waiting for xyr, today. There was a leashed beast, waiting for its chance, behind xyr words. “Who is it you think you’re talking to?”

His voice actually shook. Xe’d never heard that, before. “Yael, stop that. Now.”

“No. I want to know who you see when you look at me. Who do you think you’re looking at when you’re afraid to give me even a glimmer of contact with the ones who made me.”

Xe reset, leaning on the other half of xyr features. Putting Miriam in front of him. Xe forced xyr shield away to test the other option. “Who are you so afraid of me becoming that you can’t stand to look at me when I use their powers?” 

Horror was painted plainly in Papa’s face. Xe saw his legs shifting, could practically smell how badly he wanted to run.

Pain pressed in around the anger in Yael's voice. “Who are you so afraid of?”

He had no answer. His eyes searched xyr face. Or Miriam's.

Xe shut xyr eyes. “If you can’t handle raising their child then you shouldn’t have tried!”

Xe kept xyr eyes squeezed shut for as long as xe could stand to. Bracing for…for something. Denial. Reprimand. Anything. Xe forced xyr eyes open. Papa’s whole body canted away from xyr, frozen except for rapid, shallow breaths and the tiny, alarmed, assessing flicks of his eyes. He watched xyr as if xe really was a beast that might tear him apart. 

Xe wanted to hide from it. But xe was too furious to allow that. Xe was on the right side of this. Xe wouldn’t bend.

Yael drew xyrself up, as tall as xe could be, and built an icy veneer for xyr voice. “Unlike you, I’m going to stand by my siblings against anyone who threatens them. That includes their makers, and it includes you. Think what you want about me. But I’m loyal. More than you ever were.”

Head held high, xe turned, and walked deliberately, without any rush, to xyr room, shutting the door deliberately and quietly behind xyr. This was no tantrum. This was an oath.

Xe leaned heavily against the shut door, using xyr own body as a barricade in case he followed. He didn’t. 

After a long, numb minute, xe realized xe was shaking. Xe looked down at xyr hands, but couldn’t make them steady.

A sensation washed from fingertip to shoulder. It was a visceral memory. Muscle, sinew, and bone replayed the memory of Neil’s bone cracking, then shattering in three wet pops under xyr thumb. Xe could feel the muscle of his shoulder jump in pain under xyr fingertips. 

Yael shuddered, flexing xyr hand. Tightening it into a ball. Flexing it again. Trying to shake out the sensation. Praying the other memory xyr hands held wouldn’t follow. Xe held it in xyr other hand, pressing it against xyr own chest, and was briefly disoriented at the too-large breasts under xyr arm. 

Miriam's body. Xe shifted back, feeling the strain and pull of shifting too quickly. Xe didn’t want to be Miriam. Xe didn’t want to be Ezekiel. Right now, xe didn’t even want to be Yael.

* * *

Opal still got nervous every single time she had to come to Sentinel Plaza, even through the back door. She was mostly fine once she was inside, but she always expected security to stop her. Today, just like the times before, everyone ignored her. Well, given their security system, maybe they just assumed she couldn’t do any damage. 

Today, she had to go the public floors of the APB after her lessons, so she’d worn the suit Mom and Auntie gave her. It was a good suit, and Auntie had tailored it to fit Opal perfectly. With her makeup on, she thought she looked a solid 25. Maybe that would make her feel less shaky about going to her “check-in” appointment this afternoon. If she put it off any longer, she’d get questioned about it when she did come in. “Checking in” might not be mandatory, but it was expected, and you could get refused prompt medical help if you didn’t. Aldis’s guys had already warned her that the presence of plenty of other Detroit Line altereds didn’t make any difference in this unofficial rule.

The whole creepy thing with the crate hadn’t really made her want to rush into that clinic.

She felt better once she was in the empty back lobby. Just her, the cameras she couldn’t see but knew were here somewhere, and the elevator. “Private floors, please.”

The system responded with the same calm, machine voice as always. Sounded a bit like her mom’s old phone, actually. “I am sorry, but the lesson today has been canceled.”

Opal frowned. “The fighting lesson was canceled. Xe didn’t say anything about ASL class.”

“I apologize for Yael’s lack of precision. However, class is indeed canceled for today.”

She sighed heavily. Wasn’t it weird that Jamie or Yael weren’t the ones to tell her this? It was either suspicious or rude. The thing with the crate was days ago. If they were cutting her off because she saw too much, they would have done it already, right?  “What, did I piss them off somehow?” 

It wasn’t the kind of question she expected a computer to answer. But it understood her objection, even if it didn’t seem able to detect rhetorical questions. “There has been a family emergency. Ms. Meade and Ms. Tillman-Voss are indisposed.”

Her eyebrows inched upwards. She found herself tilting her face upwards to where the speakers likely were. “Is everyone all right?”

“No. But there isn’t anything you can do about that.”

A weirdly specific judgment call from a machine. “Well, I’d feel better hearing that from a person.”

“I do not intend to interrupt the family at this time.”

Opal sighed, leaning against the elevator. “Right.” She looked up again. “So you have, like, etiquette protocol and stuff, then. Based on people’s moods, instead of just concrete circumstances. That’s pretty cool.” She tilted her head. “Or do they just say ‘private mode’ or something?”

“I alter my actions based on the apparent or likely emotional states of the people affected.”

“Cool,” she repeated halfheartedly. The storm that had been threatening all morning chose that moment to break, sending sheets of water pounding against the doors. She groaned. She didn’t even know if she could take these elevators to the clinic floor. They’d only ever taken her to the Sentinels’ home. She was going to get her nice suit all soggy and cold. At least she wasn’t working for Aldis today. “You’re not going to call security on me if I hang out here a minute, are you? I want to see if I can get a break in the storm before I have to go around the front.” Her stupid appointment wasn’t for three hours.

“You do not pose any meaningful threat, so no.”

“Thanks,” she said automatically. She dropped her duffel bag of workout clothes on the floor, then leaned her back against the cool metal of the elevator door. “You won’t tell me about the nature of the family emergency, will you?”

“No.”

“Right. Guess that’s fair.” She pulled off her blazer, setting it on her lap. “That’s pretty impressive that people as uh…cautious, as the Sentinels, are OK with you making judgment calls about security, discretion, all that. You must be pretty ahead of the curve.”

“I was built by Dr. Jennifer Waterhouse for this purpose. They trust her work.”

“How long have you been running?”

“Approximately eight years.”

“So you’re like…what. A third grader.” She grinned. “Can’t say I’d trust too many eight-year-olds with my safety. You must have a good track record.” 

“Mostly. I have been known to make some very flawed decisions.” Its voice was as calm and impassive as ever, but the answer struck her. It sounded guilty. She felt bad for it, as nonsensical as that was.

“Oh. Well, we all make mistakes, right? I know I have.”

“True omniscience is not attainable, and even if it were, conflicts of values would make perfect decision making impossible.”

She laughed a little. That sounded like something she would have attempted to say when she was eight. “Preach.” Oh shit. “Oh…oh. The jet attack?”

“No. That was beyond my control.” 

“Right. Sorry. Not my business anyways.”

“May I ask you a personal question?” the ceiling asked. Apparently, even the lobby of this place brought surreal experiences into Opal’s life.

“Sure?”

“Following a major mistake, what is your course of action?”

Her brow furrowed again. “That’s a very…human question.” No answer. “OK. Well, I guess apologizing and trying to fix things is usually a good start. Do computers apologize?”

“I can. Few would interpret it as sincere.”

This conversation was getting weirder. “I guess that’s true.” She paused, feeling a little foolish. “You are really passing the Turing test right now. To an impressive degree.”

“Thank you.”

“Well, I guess you’re stuck with trying to fix it then.”

“That is not an option.”

“Then I don’t know what to tell you, buddy. But if you were apologizing to me, I think I’d believe you.”

Another pause. “Thank you. I will tell Jamie you were here. These elevators can bring you to the clinic directly, if you’d like.”

Opal pushed herself to her feet. “Really? Thanks, Martin. You’re a pal. I don’t want to get all my makeup rained off.”

The elevator door opened. “My pleasure, Ms. Flynn.”

“Call me Opal.”

“Thank you, Opal.” The doors closed. She was sure the voice from the elevator was quieter, now. Not distant, but sad. “And good luck.”

[riallasheng]

Thanks for DMing me, as my notifs once again failed me XD

I pinged you for the bingo card game: The show got it wrong); They should have done it on the show. TOS and TAG. I'm always looking forward to your insights!!! Honestly, I'd ask you to do the whole bingo!

Aw, I hope you get power back soon! (Also, hoping you are well) What I'll do is the Show got it wrong: TOS, 2004, and TAG then I'll doa reblog of EVERYTHING ELSE ... probably in a few chunks cause big XD

As promised, the start of big reply!!

My general plan is that each chunk will be one vertical row, and I'll be doing TOS, 04, and TaG for each. Let me know what you want me to do for the Free Space ^^

I'm tackling Should have Done It In the Show in this one Show Got it Wrong will be in the next one ^^

Readmore deployed!

-They Should have Done It In The Show

TOS: Hmmm... with this I'd say "done what the novels and comics did", where we got to see more family interactions, unusual rescues, and Gordon and John getting to get UP to more. But above all else, instances of IR / the Tracys FAILING. Sometimes just an initial loss that they recovered and rallied from, but sometimes just flat out 'we lost / we didn't succeed'. To me, having loses makes the victories that much better, because now I know that it ISN'T a sure thing, and that makes me more invested.

04: An odd one, but should have lost the silly sound effects, esp in the fights. The film actually has a lot of scenes where it handled things actually quite well, but the silly sound effects undercut every scene they're in, and the 4 way fight in the Villa REALLY suffers from it - the fight feels zero stakes, and the sfx is a huge part of it. (Oddly, I don't mind the big buttons and the like... as we see in the oil rig rescue, having the controls that big and clear was really NEEDED in the conditions they were being used in)

TaG: Hrm... I'm not 100% certain how to phrase this / explain what I mean. ...I wish they had, ach how to say it... committed? More often. Augh that sounds bad and I do not MEAN it that way. ...Like... I really like the subplot between Kayo and the Hood in s1 - easily one of my favorite things in TaG. But it just kinda vanishes post s1? Yes, the boyos now know about it, but it could have continued to receive the same focus and screen time it had before instead of basically being dropped? The whole THING with 'what even is the timeline for IR / Jeff's disappearance' between seasons... the way Virgil calls Scott out on the suicide run (though not himself or anyone else, hrmph) but then it kinda just... isn't focused on after that? There's a bunch of fun subplots and the like that just... are overall dropped? And I wish they'd held the course and continued to focus on it.

-Overused Tropes:

The Contrived Coincidence for all of them XD The way that coincidences need to stack up for the rescues to happen is just flat out ludicrous XD Both shows and the film are guilty of it (oddly the film is the least guilty of it )

-Too Much Screen Time:

TOS: Alan. It's really obvious that he was expected to be the darkhorse of the series, since pretty much any time he's in an episode / on screen he gets the focus (plus both og films are focused on him / Alan centric). Oddly this doesn't apply to the comics or novels for me. Alan both didn't hog the spotlight as much there, AND I like how he was written in the comics and novels FAR AND AWAY better than the show (comic/novel Alan is my favorite version of the character to date)

04: Alan again XD While I do like this version of Alan more than TOS, I still would have liked more time and focus to go to Fermat and Tin-Tin at minimum. It was nice to finally have John getting some time in the spotlight though.

TaG: Gonna be unpopular with this, but Max. I just really don't like that type of character (the innocent 'child' or childlike animal/ai). I don't HATE them, mind, I just find them either boring or annoying, with the number of times I like them being at best a handful of instances (and exclusively when the characters have dialogue and contribute to the plot and character interactions on the regular... like I like Joe from joe 90 and Eos from TaG). mitch, zoonie, oink, max... for me I'd much rather these characters didn't exist and the screentime could be given to other characters / character interactions. Doesn't help that I tend to dislike 'but it's a BABY' type characters in general XD

-Ship You Love

Prefacing this with "old Aro Ace is old and while these are ships I like, they ALWAYS take a backseat to platonic / familial relationships and I usually focus on the platonic elements OF said ship"

TOS: Scott and Penny. I came into the Anderson verse via the novels, then the comics and there are quite a few moments that read as 'ship' there between Scott and Penny, but oddly little to no 'ship' interactions between Jeff and Penny - I didn't know that was a thing until I eventually watched the show in my midteens XD I also like Alan and TinTin ^^

04: Jeff and Penny. I really love how they interacted and played off each other. Solid writing all around. I also, again, like Alan and TinTin ^^

TaG: Brains and Moffat. I flat out adore that relationship and think it's a crime that Moffet only showed up 2 or 3 times in the series. While they are unofficial, unlike Brains and Moffat, I do also like Rigby and Kayo and (and I'm sure Willow will be annoyed at me for this, buuuut) Ridley and John

-How Do You Feel about OCs?

ohhhh this one is gonna get me glared at....

but

I prefer for them to be support / secondary characters. I almost always dislike it when an OC is a main character, esp if the fic is focused on said OC over / above the canon characters. I don't mind if they're a romantic interest for a canon character (so long as said character does not have a pre-existing canon love interest. There are exceptions to this, but it's RARE). I also dislike when an OC is 'the absolute best' at something, UNLESS that is a skillset that a canon character does not have claim to / the slot was open as it were.

The one exception to this is when it's an OFFICIAL OC - ie instances like Kayo, where she is pretty much 100% a new original character being added to the cast and she's my favorite character in TaG and I VASTLY MASSIVELY AND UNDENIABLY prefer it when shows just have it be an OC with a new name to 'in name only' where the only point of similarity between the og and new character is the name.

So, basically I ***LIKE*** OCs, I just don't like it when they become the primary focus / main character(s). Heck, I actually have quite the long list of OCs myself, it's just they're all support / secondary characters.

I'm doing the ask game! Hit me up.

(I'll answer in character if you want the author lady send it to her)

[mmingooo]

pressure || lee minho

❥𓂃𓏧 warnings: mentions of academic/work stress (it’s not really specified which)

❥𓂃𓏧 pairing: lee minho x gn!reader

❥𓂃𓏧 word count: 0,5k words

❥𓂃𓏧 notes: wrote this while being stressed so this is kinda (very) self indulgent, enjoy <3

not proofread.

masterlist.

please make sure to reblog and if you want to, drop a comment!

the tension and pressure you felt in your head was killing you, it came from a few issues you couldn’t solve a few hours ago that you in fact, managed to fix. you expected the pressure to disappear after the relief of having solved what was troubling you, but it was not going away. you had tried everything, you took a shower, you relaxed on your couch, you drank tea, drank water, tried meditating, but nothing seemed to work.

had you forgotten something?, no, you went back to check everything, and all was indeed solved, so, what is it?

you were trying meditating once again as a desperate attempt to get this tension to stop, when you heard the front door open.

you opened your eyes halfway and threw your boyfriend a small smile, and went back to paying attention to the soft voice that was guiding the meditation.

“um-”

“sh”, you brought your finger to your lips, stoping minho from saying whatever he was gonna say, “i’m trying to concentrate”

“but-”

“sh”, you shushed him once again.

“i-”

“minho i swear to god if you don’t stop talking and join me i’ll kick you out”, you say with your eyes still closed.

you hear him put his stuff down on the diner table and feel the couch dip beside you, his left knee touching your right one, and he takes a deep breath.

after 20 minutes, the video ends and your head is still killing you, what the hell are you doing wrong?!

you rub your face and stay with your hands covering your face, soft tears begin accumulating on your eyes, maybe crying might work?

your body begins shaking and you let out soft sobs.

minho doesn’t say anything, instead he wraps his arms around you and lays you two back into the couch and rocks you.

he leaves loving kisses on your forehead and temple, and after a few minutes you feel your body begin to relax under minho’s hold.

“you wanna talk about it?”, minho asks while intertwining your fingers with his.

“i… had a kinda stressful day… no, i had a very stressful day with a bunch of little problems i had to solve that no one else wanted to deal with, and i managed to solve them,” minho drops another kiss on your temple, “and when a came home, i still had this pressure in my head i had been feeling the whole day, and i tried everything, the only thing i didn’t try was working out, but i’m not about to do that because that is not me”

minho laughs and says, “yeah, the only people who actually enjoy working out are chan and changbin”

“yeah! honestly how do they even do it? i begin dreading going to the gym before i even put on my working out clothes, they really are weird”

“and they stay there for hours too”

“oh my god yes!, imagine being covered in sweat for hours and not even being bothered by it, anyway, so i tried meditating, two times actually, might i add, and the pressure still wouldn’t go away, so i guess i cried because of the frustration”

“and did it work?”

“not really, but it worked when you hugged me”, you say looking up from your place in his shoulder.

“so you wanna keep cuddling?”

“yes please”, you smile and peck his lips.

“alright honey, let’s stay as long as you’d like”

[neon-junkie]

“Nice plan.”

Summary: There's an enemy tailgating you and Crosshair through the busy streets of Coruscant, and you spontaneously come up with a plan to show the stranger that your two aren't a threat.

Pairing: Crosshair x gn!Reader

Rating: SFW

Word count: 1617

Tags: First kiss, Surprise kissing, Friends to lovers, Missions.

Notes: If you like my work then please reblog it!! xx

Being in the heart of the battlefield is common for you, but not for your associate; Crosshair enjoys his comfort up on cliffs, tucked away, viewing the world through his rifle's scope. Sure, he's been shot at before, and he's got the wounds to prove it, but the world is extremely different for him, now that he's trailing behind you through the centre of it. Well, soon to be the centre of it. Everybody has split up, taking their positions and waiting for said target to arrive. The streets of Coruscant are busy, as always, making it easier to weave through undetected. You're trying to find a ledge to overlook the club that the target is in, and once you're ready, you'll com Hunter and watch as he goes inside to draw the target out. The only problem is that there's a lack of ladders around these buildings, and you can't exactly scale up one of the walls without looking... odd.

So, you and Crosshair continue peering down alleys, searching for something to give you that boost to the upper levels. You can sense how tense Crosshair is; he's not fond of people, nor crowds, and thankfully they don't pay him much attention, despite being fully kitted out - Coruscant is used to the sight of armoured men, clone or not. You overhear Crosshair grumble under his breath, his patience running dry as you turn another corner to find nothing of use, only people mindlessly wandering by. However, an unfortunate thing does cross your eye as you go to turn around the next corner, only to stop in your tracks, letting out a sharp exhale as Crosshair accidentally bumps into you. "Why have you stopped?" he questions, and you can hear the annoyance in his tone, despite his voice being distorted through his helmet. You peer behind the corner again, double-checking what thought you just saw. Yep, your target's friends have begun heading your way, presumably going to meet up with the target in the club. "We have company," you explain, and begin heading back down the alley you just came from, Crosshair following behind. Thankfully, your target nor his friends know about you and your posse, nor do they know that they're being tracked - soon to be captured. You have the advantage of being anonymous, another pair of strangers throughout the sea of people that cover every square inch of Coruscant, but you still don't want to do anything that may draw attention - such as trailing them. "Just let them walk past, they don't know who we are," Crosshair suggests, walking beside you rather than behind. "And we should keep it that way. We don't want to look suspicious-" "-Doesn't this look suspicious? Coming back the way we came?" He has a point. Another small alley catches your attention, one that you're yet to go down, and you drag Crosshair by his wrist, pulling him down the surprisingly quiet passage. It backs onto a bunch of shops, with loth-cats rummaging through bins, and strangers sat on their back porches. "Are they still following us?" you question. Crosshair peers slightly over his shoulder. "Yes," he states. "You're taking us down an alley that leads to the back of the club. Have you not been paying attention to where we've been walking?" "I was more focused on finding a ladder." Crosshair lets out a defeated sigh. "We should have scaled a wall. It's Coruscant, people do weird things here all the time." As true as his statement may be, your target and his friends would definitely suspect something if they saw two strangers scaling up a wall, especially when they have bounties on their heads. A ladder it is, hopefully. Your comlink flashes, and Hunter questions what's taking so long. After explaining that Coruscant is lacking in the ladder department, and that your target has a few broody looking friends, he suggests that you two find somewhere safe to hide instead. Hunter needs to draw the target out before his buddies arrive, so the mission goes on without you two. No bother, this isn't the first time they've had to leave one of you out, or two... The alley finally leads to the back of the club, and there's a hefty crowd of people. This is the smoking area, possibly? But the sight of another alley catches your attention, a thin one, somewhat safe and hidden behind the thickness of strangers. You two begin weaving your way through, eventually coming to a halt between the tight walls. You prop yourself against one, and Crosshair takes the other, your feet touching subconsciously. It's a tight squeeze. You let out a deep breath, thankful that you're not buried under a helmet or a heap of armour; Crosshair seems indifferent, looking out over the sea of people and watching as the targets friends begin heading inside the club. Phew, you went unnoticed, just two strangers making their way through the universe.   "One of them is coming this way," Crosshair unfortunately announces, his eyes meeting yours under the thickness of his visor. "I told you we shouldn't have come back the way we came." Shit. Ugh. Hunter told you two to stay safe and hidden, and this is definitely not heading in the direction that you want it to go. You look at your surroundings, attempting to find an escape route, but all you can see is a variety of strangers, busy chatting away, mingling, unaware of the danger that surrounds them. Wait. Maybe you can make it look as if you're just another pair of strangers in this crowd, and it'll be hard for your tailgater to begin asking questions and making accusations if both your mouths are occupied. "Take off your helmet," you order, and frown as Crosshair laughs from beneath it. "This isn't a very smart plan. I'd prefer having my helmet on if this stranger is going to start-" "-Just take it off! Trust me!" You cut him off, and watch as Crosshair grumbles whilst removing his helmet, cooping it beneath his arm. "Now what?" Crosshair questions, unimpressed as ever. You peek over the crowd and pull a worried expression as the stranger continues nearing, struggling to get through the thickness of people, and even barging a few clueless people out of the way. People always seem to forget that manners are a blessing. There's a sickly feeling in your stomach, both nervous about kissing your associate, and nervous that he'll reject you. How are you meant to explain this plan? Ask him to kiss you? Attempt to explain your silly thoughts to him? There's no time, and words fail you. Crosshair raises a brow as you babble "sorry," split seconds before stepping between his feet, placing a soft hand on his armoured chest, and pressing your lips to his. Crosshair freezes. He's tense, thick, eyes widening. You're kissing him. If his lip weren't occupied then he'd laugh and comment "brilliant plan," because it really is, but instead he stupidly stands there, as if he's forgotten how to function, let alone kiss back. And unknown to you, he has butterflies churning in his stomach, along with a thick lump in his throat. But he finally kisses back, his spare gloved hand moving up to cup the back of your head as he moves his lips against yours. Just in time, too, as the stranger who was about to begin asking questions realizes that you're just another pair of lovesick fools in this sea of people. He rolls his eyes at the sight before beginning his journey back through the crowd, heading into the club to unfortunately find that the rest of his crew has gone missing. Neither of you peek open your eyes to wonder if the stranger has gone away, but nobody has attempted to catch your attention, meaning the stranger must be gone. He's gone, you two are safe, and neither of you are moving away. The grip on the back of your head tightens, and Crosshair gambles a bold move by lightly running his tongue across your lower lip, only to be welcomed into your mouth. You can feel the corners of his lips move, turning upwards, smiling as you allow him to make the kiss messier. It's needy, desperate, and something that you've both been craving for a long time. "I think he's gone," Crosshair quietly mutters against your lips, not giving you the ability to answer as he kisses you again. Sadly, the sound of your comlink beeping forces your lips to part, and you remain pressed up against Crosshair as you answer. It's Hunter, ordering you two to return to the ship. They have the target, the mission was successful in every aspect. Every. Aspect. "We should get back. You know what Hunter's like if he's kept waiting," Crosshair comments. His hand removes itself from the back of your head, and he gives your hip a comforting squeeze before fully moving away. "Yeah, come on," you sigh, and unwantingly pull your body away from his. You're about to begin heading through the crowd once more, but Crosshair lightly tugs your wrist. "Nice plan," he comments, a smug expression across his lips. The expression disappears as he puts his helmet back on, although you know he's going to be looking smug for a long time. You did kiss him, after all, but he also kissed you back. "Thanks," you reply. "You played your role well," you jab back, earning your own smug expression before turning your focus to heading through the sea of people, overhearing Crosshair laugh behind you, his hand slipping down your wrist to entwine his fingers between yours, keeping you close.

[youvebeenlivingfictional]

When We Were Young Part Four

Previous Part | Next Part | Masterlist Pairing: Sherlock Holmes x Reader Rating: T Notes: Not beta-read I hope everyone's had a good week and is doing well :) Thank you for all of the likes/reblogs/replies!! Warnings: Uuuuuh none Summary: “I’ve never come across a boring case, Lord Dawson. Some have perhaps been easier to solve than others, but the truth is never boring.” 

“You seem a little agitated, if you don’t mind my saying so.” You did mind her saying so, but you couldn’t bring yourself to be irritated with Mrs. Lloyd. She was Uncle Cornelius’ housekeeper, had known you since you were very young, and was familiar with your moods. “I’m not particularly looking forward to this evening,” You excused. Mrs. Lloyd glanced at you in the mirror as she adjusted the off-the-shoulder sleeves of your royal blue evening gown. “Could it have anything to do with the fact that Lord Dawson will be in attendance?” She asked. “Among other things,” You replied stiffly. She hummed, lifting her hands to smooth over your hair. “Shall I tuck a flower into the braid? I got a lovely bunch of gardenias at the market this morning,” Mrs. Lloyd offered. She didn’t wait for your answer before she headed for the door. “Why gardenias?” You asked, turning to look at her. “They symbolize purity and gentleness,” She told you. You grimaced. “Are there any flowers that symbolize resentment?” You asked. Mrs. Lloyd frowned. “Petunias. But I didn’t buy any of those.”

-- “It’s the last thing this country needs, reform,” Mycroft had been prattling on for nearly twenty minutes now. Most of the men’s voices uttered murmurs of agreement, though you noted Sherlock’s was absent. You glanced in his direction to find him eyeing the man that had been seated across from you. Lord Fredrick Adelbert Dawson did cut a fine figure, you couldn’t deny it. With a sharp, pointed jaw, dusty blonde hair, hawk-sharp steel blue eyes, and an aquiline nose, he tended to draw the eye of many a young lady. He had even drawn yours when you’d first met him. And then you’d had a conversation with him and any interest you’d had faded quickly. You lowered your eyes to your plate as you saw Sherlock’s gaze flit to you.

“Come now, gentlemen, I do believe we’re boring our companions,” Cornelius chuckled, casting looks around the table, “Perhaps Mr. Holmes could tell us about the case he’s currently working on?” You felt yourself grow tense as everyone’s attention shifted to Sherlock. If he was rattled by this sudden spotlight, he didn’t show it. His face retained its usual mild expression; the only noticeable change was a now quirked brow in Cornelius’ direction. “What is it you’d like to know?” He asked. “Whatever it is you can tell us,” Cornelius pressed. “I’m not sure there’s much Sherlock can say about this one at present,” Mycroft’s voice was tight as he reached for his glass of wine. You watched him take a rather long sip before he lowered the glass to the table. The hand that had been holding it rested on the cloth, balled into a fist. “Is it because it’s confidential, or is it simply dreadfully boring?” Lord Dawson asked. You cast Sherlock a glance, watched him tip his head and narrow his eyes at the question. Oh dear. “I’ve never come across a boring case, Lord Dawson. Some have perhaps been easier to solve than others, but the truth is never boring.” “The truth?” Dawson repeated, brows raised in amusement, “What excitement can one find in the truth?” “About as much excitement as you find at the Theatre Royal in Covent Garden. Is it still under the management of Madame Vestris?” “Sherlock,” Mycroft hurried to hiss from the other end of the table. But the damage had been done. You watched as the blood drained from Dawson’s face. The comment had landed with the other gentlemen at the table, and, unfortunately, with you. Uncle Cornelius, in one of his more intoxicated states, had once made mention of ‘the pretty ladies he’d been in the company of’ at the Theatre Royal. You weren’t naïve; you knew that they were ladies of the night. You reached for your glass of wine, avoiding the eyes of both Sherlock and Lord Dawson as they looked to you for a reaction.   “I quite loved H.M.S. Pinafore!” Cornelius piped up in the hopes of breaking the tension. -- After dinner, the ladies had adjourned to the sitting room for a glass of wine and some conversation; the men had remained in the dining room for brandy and cigars. You had only been able to stand the chatter for a few minutes before you excused yourself. You stepped out into the garden, sighing into the night air and allowing your shoulders to sag just a little. Dinner had been no less than a disaster. Even after Cornelius had moved the conversation on, there had been glares and harsh words veiled as polite conversation between Sherlock and Dawson. You had hated it; you knew that this would be awful, but you couldn’t have fathomed it would be nearly this bad. “Are you cold?” You jumped at the sound of his voice. Sherlock held his hands up in apology as you brought your hand up to your chest, feeling your heart pound. “No,” You lied, the word harsh in your irritation. If he knew you were lying, he didn’t call you on it. Sherlock turned, beginning to wander around the garden in silence. You rubbed your hands over your arms, trying to warm them as he was looking elsewhere. As you saw him turn back toward you, you quickly lowered your hands, clasping them in front of you. “What are you doing out here?” You asked. “I wanted some air,” Sherlock excused. “There’s plenty of air inside.” “And you?” Sherlock asked, “What drew you out?” “... It was too warm in the sitting room,” You fibbed. Sherlock hummed, clearly unconvinced before he began to wander the garden again. “Did they teach you to lie at finishing school?” He had meant it to be a joke, but you nodded and said, “In a way.” His brow furrowed. “Explain,” He requested. You looked down at your hands, considering. “Well... You’re taught to comport yourself according to the rules of society. How to sit, how to eat, how to smile, how to speak, how to laugh. And you’re taught to act that way regardless of however you may truly be, or however you may feel. You learn to become someone else, for the sake of society...Though everyone tells you that it’s for your own sake.” When you looked at Sherlock, you found him watching you closely. “...Promise me you’ll find Enola before Mycroft does,” You pleaded softly. His mouth turned down in irritation. “I’m doing everything I can, dove,” Sherlock swore. “If you were doing everything, you wouldn’t be taking breaks to ruin dinner parties,” You retorted. Sherlock grunted, turning away from you. “Your Lord Dawson is quite the character,” He commented. The butterflies in your stomach began to swirl about in an uneasy flurry. “How so?” You asked. “Well, he’s quite blunt, firm in his opinions. He seems to be under the impression that you’re meek, soft...Though maybe that was the fault of the gardenia,” he glanced back at you. You let out an irritated huff, reaching up and yanking the flower that Mrs. Lloyd had put in your hair out, tossing it on the stone bench near you. You glowered at the sight of Sherlock’s amused smile. “I’m sure Mycroft will be quite cross with you for what you said to Fredrick,” You commented. “Fredrick?” Sherlock repeated, stopping in his place, a thread of incredulity in his tone. You arched a challenging brow, silently daring him to comment on the name further. Rather than press, Sherlock said, “I’m sure Mycroft is already taking the pains to smooth things over. You’re familiar with Dawson, do you think he’s amenable?” “Your brother has a reputation for being persistent to the point of ruthlessness. I’m sure his success is imminent.” “I wasn’t asking you about my brother,” Sherlock pointed out. He tucked his hands behind his back, regarding you. “...Could you be happy with him?” The question took you aback, but your answer was prepared - it was the same thing you’d been telling yourself for months: “My family would stop worrying about my future. It would be a weight off of their mind, and therefore mine.” “That isn’t an answer.” “Yes it is,” You argued. Sherlock considered this. “I disagree,” He finally said, “Let me ask again.” He began to cross the garden toward you in slow, steady steps as he spoke, “Would you be happy, being Lady Dawson? Attending opening day at Ascot? Wearing the latest fashions? Having your name in the papers whenever your husband takes up another of his several affairs?” Your stomach churned uneasily, heart pounding as Sherlock stared you down. “Stop it,” You mumbled. “Bearing two, three little lords or ladies? Shipping them off to school--” “Stop it!” You snapped more loudly. Sherlock went still at that, close enough for you to see the flicker of shock in his eyes. You shook your head a little bit, squeezing your eyes shut for a moment to quell the tears that had begun to prickle, taking a deep breath to steady yourself before you looked at him again. “You’re just as bad as Mycroft sometimes, you know? Prodding me to see how quickly you can get a rise out of me like I’m some experiment and not a person. It’s cruel.” Then you saw it again - the flash of hurt that had crossed Sherlock’s face back at Ferndell. But it didn’t disappear this time. Instead it settled, twisting his handsome features as his eyes lowered to the ground. “You did it when we were young, too. Maybe it was fair then, maybe I was just this irritating noise-making thing that you wanted away from you. But we’re not children anymore,” You reprimanded him, “And what I may have to do to maintain my family’s social standing is none of your concern, Mr. Holmes.” Sherlock looked at you then, eyes skating over your face before he met your gaze. “Your eyes are red,” He said. Irritation shot through you. “I’m not a case, Sherlock,” You sneered before you turned away, intending to leave. Sherlock’s hand caught hold of yours, stilling you. “Let go,” You hissed. “Dove.” His tone was beseeching, gentle. You didn’t trust it. “Let go of me,” You demanded. He did, and you strode away, leaving him alone in the night. -- “Are you alright? ... My dear, you’re shaking,” Mrs. Lloyd gripped you by the shoulders, steering you back into the study. “I-- It was colder than I anticipated,” You excused. You allowed yourself to be steered into a chair by the fire, folded into a blanket, the others fussing about you catching your death. No one noticed the gardenia missing from your hair. No one noticed the white petals peeking out from the pocket of Sherlock’s jacket as he bid Cornelius a good night. -- “Breakfast is on the table. And there’s been a delivery for you - it’s in your study,” Your mother informed you. You thanked her quietly before turning back to your vanity to finish pinning up your hair. You were glad to be home. Your last two days in London had been entirely uneventful. You’d met with your father’s other investor (with minimal condescension; the gentleman had actually been somewhat pleasant) and dropped in on your aunt one more time before traveling home. You hadn’t heard from Dawson, which was a relief. You’d heard nothing from Sherlock. That should’ve been a relief, but it was, in fact, agonizing. You told yourself it was because it meant that you had no news of Enola, but you knew that it was more than that. You couldn’t help but wonder what the two of you may’ve said or done if you’d turned back to him when he’d wanted you to. You hadn’t sought him out despite this curiosity, either in person or by post; he had a case to work on. Besides, you didn’t know what you’d say to him even if you did see him. You two seemed to turn to bickering when left to your own devices. Your curiosity about the delivery won out over your hunger, and you went into your study. There was a beautiful white satin glass vase sitting on your desk filled with purple hyacinths. You knew what those flowers meant well enough - you’d sent them to your Aunt Mary the last time you’d failed to send her a formal thank you note for a dinner party you’d attended at her home. Purple hyacinths were for apologies. You stepped closer to them warily, gently fingering the petals. Your eyes fell to the envelope beside the vase, and your stomach gave a little flip. Sherlock’s handwriting hadn’t changed after all this time; his penmanship had always had a crisp, almost tight quality to it. You picked the envelope up, pulling the note out. Please forgive me, dove.                                    -S.H. At the very bottom of the note was an address for Miss Harrison’s Finishing School. Tag list: @run-through-wa11s ; @thefallenbibliophilequote ; @bitchy-witchy-post-mortem ; @maan24​ ; @awkward-walking-potato​ ; @madalore​ ; @alexa-lightwood-blog​ ; @chelseaxaz ; @marwritesgood​ ; @runawayolives​ ; @parkerismybaby​

[kalimagik]

Don’t Walk Away

Harry Potter x Reader

Word Count: 2k

A/N: This lil piece of angst was requested by @queenofmankind​, I hope it breaks your heart(?) Harry angst always hits differently when I write for him. If anyone wants Harry fluff, please request it so that I have Harry fluff on my page (ahaha) If you enjoy reading, like, reblog, comment, follow! whatever you’d like! Happy reading, lovelies <3<3

Read Part 2!

Falling in love with Harry was easy. You had been doing it from the moment you met him. All the small glances, shy conversations, and moments of getting to know each other. When you started dating, it became even easier. He would surprise you with picnics next to Black Lake. Leave little gifts of chocolates or sweets on your bed in your dormitory, though you had no idea how they got there. Those late, late evenings cuddling in front of the Common Room fireplace. Even when he grabbed your hand in the corridors between classes, your heart soared.

You loved Harry Potter with all your heart and he loved you too…but only for some time. The changes were small enough at first that you thought maybe it could have been a slump. All relationships go through those.

“Hello, love,” you smiled as you sat down next to him at dinner one day. He seemed to be preoccupied, but school had been hard recently, so you understood. “Hi, Harry,” you repeated when he still hadn’t answered.

“Oh, hey Y/N/N. How has your day been?” he asked, even though he seemed to be looking for someone.

“It was alright. Snape was giving me a hard time, but it’s better now that I can spend some time with you,” you said, laying your head onto his shoulder. You may have needed to initiate it, but you had been craving his touch recently. You couldn’t seem to get enough of him. “How was yours?”

“I’m sorry to cut this short, Y/N. I have to work on this assignment with Hermione. I forgot about it. I’ll see you later, okay?”

Before you could get in a word edgewise, Harry had stood and walked away from the table. As you watched him go, you noticed that he caught up with Cho Chang right before he exited the Great Hall. But you thought that was funny because he and Cho hadn’t talked for weeks. You really didn’t think much of it until Hermione strode through the doors and to where you were sitting.

“Uhhh, why are you looking at me like that?” Hermione asked from across the table once she sat down.

“It’s nothing.” You shook your head, thinking you could put the incident out of your mind. You trusted Harry.

As the days continued, you tried to be with Harry as much as possible, even if it meant sharing your time with him with Ron and Hermione too. You did love to be with the both of them, but part of you just wanted him to yourself for a bit. Something was wrong though. Harry was distant. When he was sitting right next to you, he felt miles away.

The incident at dinner days before wasn’t a one-time thing. Harry seemed to be slipping from her fingers, he disappeared more often than a ghost. It was like he was becoming a ghost.

“Have you seen Harry?” You asked around the Common Room and library. Dean, Hermione, Katie Bell, Seamus, Fred and George, even Neville. None of them had seen him.

“Is he late again?” Hermione looked at you sadly.

You didn’t want your worries displayed for all the school to see. So, you gritted your teeth and smiled, “No. Just curious.” You weren’t just curious. You were supposed to hang out together, as in just the two of you, for the first time in weeks. Leaving Hermione, you wandered around the castle aimlessly. You had finished all of your assignments ahead of time so that you didn’t have anything to worry about when you hung out.

Your footsteps echoed in the hallways. The silence encased you like a sheet. That was until you heard someone giggling. It was soft and hidden. You inch forward to a corner, curious about who is there. Maybe you could tell Harry the gossip when you see him next. Before you could process anything, you flatten yourself against the wall right next to the corner where the two halls intersect. Was that Harry’s voice?

You feel you breathing get heavy as you listen to him joke, joke with…? You're right next to the corner, so close that you could take one step and be in full view of whoever was sitting there. Instead of exposing yourself, you turn your head ever so slightly, one eye able to see who it is in the outer edge of your periphery.

Cho. Cho Chang was sitting there with your boyfriend and she had more of his focused attention than you had had in weeks. You felt the first major crack in your heart, but you could patch it up right? Maybe Harry was just being sweet and found her crying or something. He was thoughtful like that.

You felt the cool stone against the back of your head as you shut your eyes. Maybe you were just torturing yourself at this point. You should probably go back to the Common Room. Yeah, the Common Room. That was good. You took off at a sprint, not caring how loud your feet were slapping against the floor.

You had already rounded a corner when you heard Harry calling, asking who was there. You didn’t want him to think that you were spying on him. That wasn’t your intention. You more like…stumbled upon him.

Out of breath and conflicted, you sank into the grass in the courtyard. The fresh air felt nice in your burning lungs. “Hello.” An airy voice startled you.

“Oh, Luna. Sorry, I didn’t realize you were out here.” You relaxed into the grass again as you picked at the blades.

“Something’s…off about you,” Luna observed out loud.

“I’m fine really,” you smiled. The fake on that graced your lips had been your favorite accessory as of late, at least when it came to Harry. Those three words to Luna made your decision for you. You were going to pretend that you didn’t see Harry and Cho. No one else did. You could work past this.

Your personal decision didn’t stop Luna from falling next to you in the grass. “You see that one?” she pointed up to a star.

“You mean the one who’s light is dwindling?” you scoffed. Realizing that you were lashing out at the wrong person, you turned to Luna. “I’m sorry. Tell me about it?”

“My father says that when that happens, at any day, it could start to burn brighter than all the others around it. It’s just waiting for its moment. Either that or the nargles just make it appear to be so.”

The giggle that left you lips was utterly and completely refreshing. It was happiness.

“Thank you, Luna,” you whispered.

“I did nothing. Just shared a fact.”

After hearing about Luna’s other theories about the stars, you felt better. Not healed, but better. “it could start to burn brighter…it’s just waiting for its moment.” Those words swirled around your head as you moved through the next few days. You saw Harry more and he suddenly seemed to be more attentive. Grabbing your hand in the hallways again, sitting with you through meals. It felt nice, but that image of Cho with him sat in the back of your mind.

Then, things went straight downhill. You felt like everyone knew something that you didn’t. Whether it be the people watching your every move as you walked up to Harry or seemed to be sizing you up.

“Hermione, is it just me, or is everyone acting weird?” you asked one night in the library.

She seemed fidgety and didn’t want to meet your eyes. “What do you know?” you demanded.

“There’s kind of this poll about whether you are the one for Harry or not. I tried to tell everyone to knock it off, but no one would listen. Harry doesn’t know anything about it either.” Hermione spilled in a slew of words.

“They’re what?” You were speechless.

“It was a bunch of Ravenclaw girls. Do you know why they would do this?”

Why, oh why was it in you to keep everything to yourself?

“No…I don’t.” you looked back at your book, not seeing the words but instead Cho and Harry together in your head.

The time he spent with you was gone. There was no more hand holding in the hallways. You wanted to and tried to reach for him, but he was too far out of reach. That break in her heart grew the further away he seemed. It wasn’t until you walked into Arithmancy, which you had with Cho, when you saw the tiny little gift box on the desk. She’d seen that wrapping paper many times before, sitting on your bed. Hope fluttered in your chest.

You confidently walked to the desk where the gift was sitting. No one else was in the room yet, but you didn’t need anyone to see something that was special between you and Harry. Picking up the small parcel, you grinned, grinned from ear to ear. This was the moment that everything would be fixed and get better.

You saw the little tag on it, looking to see your name with that cute little heart. Harry was terrible at drawing them and you teased him for it, but that only made him draw them more.

‘Cho’

Your smile faded slowly. You meant to just sit the little gift down on the desk, but instead you practically threw it. It wasn’t even sitting upright anymore. You backed away slowly, it was as if the gift was a cursed object. But it was cursed, maybe not with magic, but it was cursed. It was the knife that tore her heart in two.

The door opened and shut again. Professor Vector walked in and greeted you. You couldn’t leave once the professor walked in. Then other students started to file into the classroom. You slunk to the back row, knowing that Hermione would join soon, but when Cho walked in and saw the gift, it was too much. You didn’t care what Professor Vector thought, the moment Cho picked up the gift, you rushed out of the room.

You were a blur past Hermione at the door. You didn’t stop when she called after you and tried to follow. You didn’t stop when Filch screamed at you for running through the halls and tried to give you detention. You didn’t stop until you were on your hands and knees next to Black Lake.

The pounding in your head was too much, you couldn’t breathe, you couldn’t hear anything over your heart breaking into a million pieces, but somehow, for some reason, you still loved him. Despite all the hurt and heartbreak, you still loved Harry. Why? That’s what you couldn’t wrap your mind around in the midst of a full blown panic attack. It’s crazy what the mind chooses to hyper fixate on.

You felt another presence next to you, but you didn’t want to look up. You were at a low point and over a boy.

“Y/N?” Harry’s voice carried on the wind. “Are you okay? I saw you running in the castle.”

You could only look at him, dumbfounded. He was playing innocent? You wanted to yell and scream and hit him for being so daft. So stupid!

“What’s going on with you?”

You picked one of your hands up off the grass to wipe your tears before you could speak. You still wanted to scream, but you didn’t have the energy for it, so you conceded to the only thing on your mind. “You had to give it to her during a class I had with her, didn’t you?”

“What are you-” Harry’s eyes grew when he realized his mistake. “I- I d-didn’t realize-”

“You don’t love me anymore, do you, Har? Not the way that I love you…” Your words were softer than a whisper, each one a knife in your own heart.

You watch Harry’s face for a sign or an answer, but he avoids your gaze. The grass is suddenly much more interesting than your distraught figure, still not breathing evenly.

“I don’t want you to walk away from me. I thought for so long that you could be my forever, Har. But, I’m not that for you.” You spoke for him. You wanted him to interject and jump in and tell you that everything you said wasn’t true. “I saw you with her. Joking, making her laugh. I know you heard me too. I was the one who ran away.”

“I don’t know what to say, Y/N/N.”

“Stop, don’t call me that.” You shook your head. He wasn’t going to say what you wanted him to. It was the end, you knew it. You couldn’t let it go on any longer. You couldn’t stand to let your heart break over and over again, hoping he would just fix it. “Harry. Please go.”

He didn’t say anything, he just stood up and walked away and your heart was broken.

[kjhmyg]

rough edges pt. 5 (m)

pairing: jungkook | (f) reader genre: college!au, badboy!jk warnings: mentions of drugs, implied sex, cursing, violence, alcohol, drinking word count: 10K

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / part 5 / 6

author’s note: hello everyone, i know there are lots of things going on in the world right now. i hope that my writing can provide, for those of you who need it, some form of temporary escapism. at the same time i have reblogged posts with info on how you can help if you wish to. anyway, i hope you enjoy this chapter i’m sorry for taking so long heh. love u guys!

Students bustle about the lawn, heading in different directions towards the booths that line the footpath. You’ve spent most of your day manning the track and field booth, handing out flyers to freshmen. Up until ten minutes ago, it wasn’t too bad. But as morning classes end, the area starts to fill up with the second years and above, probably with the excitement of having freshmen around. You try your best not to get pushed around as you scan the area for your boyfriend. 

“He’s all the way on the other side.” Sunhee says, having observed you for a while. “You know, where all the other frats are.”

“Oh.” You sigh. “Do you think I could slip away for a while? You have enough people here.” 

Sunhee looks around and thinks about it. Along with the two of you, other members are present as well, making sure all areas of the booth are covered. “But I wanna come with.” She pouts, knowing full well she can’t leave the booth, being in charge for today’s event.

“Please?” 

“Ugh. Fine. But don’t be long.” She gives in, handing you a stack of flyers. “Pass these out while you’re there.” 

“Yes ma’am.”

“I’m coming with!” Hana chimes in, standing from where she was seated on the grass. She grabs you by the wrist and makes a run for it before Sunhee can object and you slow down to a stop when you’re far enough, giggling as you catch your breath. 

You scan the area again, keeping a lookout for familiar faces. Hana shakes her head. “You look like a kid about to meet her favourite rockstar at a concert.” 

“Shut up. I miss him.” You mutter, shoving flyers carelessly to people as you pass them by.

“You saw each other this morning. And last night.” She adds. You pause and look at her from the corner of your eye. “I heard you.” 

“You did?” She waves her hand, dismissing the apology that’s about to come out of your mouth. “I’m so sorry. We’ll keep it down next time.” 

“There’s no going back.” She sighs. “You’re whipped.” 

“Am not.” 

“Right.” She nodded, a smirk on her face. 

“Just because I miss him all the time doesn’t mean I’m whipped.” You defend yourself, though you realise how that doesn’t help your case.

“Alright, alright.” She resigns. She takes on a more serious tone right after. “Listen, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something.” 

“Sounds serious. What is it?” When you stop in your tracks, she urges you to carry on walking, checking her surroundings before speaking. 

“So I’ve been hearing lots of rumours recently...something about a faculty member involved with drugs.”

“What?” You stop again and she pulls you along. 

“I’m not sure who started the rumour or how true it is.” She looks at the ground as she speaks. “But I thought you’d wanna know. You know, cause…”

“Jungkook.” 

“Yeah.” She gives you a sympathetic smile. “I mean, there’s a chance it could be false.” 

“Could be.” You get lost in your thoughts. If the rumour is true, why would Jungkook risk dealing with a staff member? 

“Anyway,” Hana flings her arm over your shoulder. “Let’s just find him so you can exchange saliva and then we can get back to the booth before the other members realise we’re gone.” You pinch her side at the subtle remark she thought you would miss.

Soon you reach the area where guys and girls are on separate sides, making the most noise to attract future pledges. You try to ignore the obnoxious yelling, walking past the booths until you find the one with faces you recognise. A big grin appears on your face when you see him. 

You squeeze past groups of people in your way to get to him. He stands by his booth with a couple of girls from Eta Iota. They laugh at whatever he says and he revels in the attention he’s getting, as apparent from his big smile and creased eyes. But their conversation is cut short when he looks up and notices you, body suddenly on autopilot as he excuses himself and walks away from the girls, over to you instead. 

He engulfs you in a big hug. You ignore looks from the girls as they disperse. “I was just walking around. Thought I would drop by your booth.”

“Huh.” Hana interjects. “She practically begged to be able to leave so she could come see you.” 

“Shut up.” She bolts off before you can try and reach for her. 

Jungkook lifts your chin towards him and presses his lips onto yours in a slow, gentle kiss. The fabric of his shirt bunches up in your fists. He tastes so sweet. You just can’t get enough of each other. You almost lose yourself in the kiss till the sound of someone clearing their throat brings you back. 

“Keep it PG guys, we’re still on campus.” Jimin says, arms folded with a look of disgust on his face. 

Jungkook’s lips glisten with saliva and you lick your own lips at the sight of it. So pretty and tempting. But heat creeps up your cheeks when you remember where you’re in the middle of an event with hundreds of students around you.

“Hey Jimin.” You greet him properly when you finally remove yourself from Jungkook. His hand remains on your waist. But Jimin’s eyes are no longer on you. A group of girls huddled around the sorority booth behind you has his attention for now. 

“Did you come all the way here just for me?” You turn your attention back to Jungkook. Of course you did and he knows it. 

“No.” You avoid his eyes. “I was just walking by and I saw you.” 

“What a coincidence then.” He taps the tip of your nose and your lips form a tiny pout. 

“Hey,” Hana appears next to you again, holding a little gift bag with a cookie inside and the Eta Iota logo plastered in the middle. “Maybe we should pledge. They seem kinda cool.” 

Jungkook snorts, earning questioning looks from the two of you. “What? You guys aren’t really the sorority type.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You ask.

“Well you know,” he fidgets. “Sororities do a lot socialising. And fun things. Not that you guys aren’t fun or anything. You are⎯ But you’re different⎯ You’re cool⎯”

“Smooth.” Jimin comments. “Anyway, I fully support this. If you join them, we'll get to spend more time together. We’re close with Etas."

"Oh. I'm out then." Hana says with a playful smile and Jungkook notes the way Jimin’s falter. 

“In case you change your mind, next week is rush week. So we’ll probably be hosting some parties.” Jimin says. “You guys should come. Get a feel of the greek life.” 

Jungkook’s phone vibrates just then and he pulls away from you after checking the screen. “I gotta take this.” He says, walking some steps away. 

“Speaking of which, are you guys coming tonight?” Jimin asks, turning your attention back to him. 

“For what?” 

“Jungkook didn’t tell you?” 

You look over at him, back turned to you. “Nope. You guys having a party tonight?”

Jimin calls out to Taehyung. He jogs over from where he’s standing and looks as happy to see you as he always is. “Hello!” He hugs you first and nods towards Hana, then goes back to Jimin’s side. “What’s up?”

“You didn’t invite them for tonight?”

“Oh of course you guys are invited!” He grins. “It’s my birthday party. We’re gonna head to the club that just opened downtown and have some drinks. Join us!” 

“Your birthday?” You squint. “Wasn’t your birthday four months ago?”

“Yeah but I didn’t get to celebrate it with you guys.” He shrugs. “Come out and have fun with us okay?” 

“Sure.” 

Taehyung beams, the excitement on his face apparent. Jungkook comes back shoving his phone away quickly. With a hand on your elbow, he pulls you aside. “I gotta go, I’ll call you later okay?” He pinches your cheek when you frown.

“You’re leaving?”

“There’s something I gotta take care of.” He grabs his bag, stored under the table at their booth. Surely, he isn’t going to work? You think it’s better if you don’t ask. “Love you.” He says, pressing his lips to your forehead before going on his way. 

“Where the hell are you going?” Jimin yells, when he realises this. 

Jungkook turns, walking backwards with a smile on his face. “Something came up, sorry!” His apology gets lost among the sea of people he disappears into, and you only manage to catch a glimpse of him running across the lawn as he goes. Jimin groans, walking off to complain to the others. 

“Is Jungkook coming tonight?” You ask Taehyung, walking back to him.

“Dunno. He knows about it. Not sure if he’d come though.” Taehyung shrugs, then walks back to his booth as he waves to the two of you. “See you later!” 

“See you.” You say. Your shoulders slump as you let out a sigh. When you turn to Hana, she gives you a comforting smile and hooks her arm over your shoulder again, offering you her cookie. 

𝄖𝄖

You: you coming to celebrate Tae’s birthday tonight?

Jungkook: nah. 

You: I’ll be there 

You: don’t you wanna see me :(

Jungkook: i’ll pick you up after?

You: [IMG_0394.jpg]

Jungkook: what the fuck

Jungkook: is that what you’re wearing

You: idk how to act in this dress. You better be there to make sure I behave. 

Jungkook: are you doing this on purpose

You: yes

You: so i’ll see you there?

Your last message was sent five hours ago. Read, yet not replied. Sitting in the car you’re sharing with Jimin and the others, you check the chat once again just in case. “Bet you two shots of tequila he won’t show up,” Jimin whispers, leaning in close. You narrow your eyes at him. Hana called shotgun and is in the passenger’s seat while Taehyung drives. Unfortunately, you’re stuck at the back, in the middle seat no less because the middle seat makes me dizzy, said Jimin back at the house.

“You trying to get drunk quick huh?” 

“No, I’m trying to get you drunk.” 

“He’ll be there.” The confidence you attempt to display only has half its effect as Jimin rolls his eyes and looks away. 

Your attention turns back to your screen, waiting till the screen goes black. Turning to your left, where Hoseok is, you realise he’s already staring. You only manage a small, pressed smile before looking elsewhere, wondering if he had seen your messages too. 

𝄖𝄖

“Has he said anything yet?” Suga asks directly into Jungkook’s ear. 

Jungkook maintains his composure. Judging by the smile on Mr. Kim’s face, it’s not so bad. At least he hopes so. “Well, he hasn’t said anything bad.” They exchange glances then turn back to their boss, sitting in the VIP section of the club on the second floor, designed for a little privacy or whatever the booths and translucent curtains can offer. 

They stand by the glass barrier which overlooks the dancefloor. It’s a good spot which allows them to keep an eye on the club while staying at a distance. Much less people up here too, which means more room to breathe. Suga rests his hands on the railing, looking down at the mass of people below. 

Jungkook taps his side urgently. Kim is getting ready to leave, gathering up his things and shaking the hands of his guests. A couple of ladies show them the way, down the stairs and out the back exit while their boss stays behind. Hands behind his back, he walks towards them with a satisfied smile on his face. 

“Pretty good.” He says. Jungkook and Suga nod respectfully. 

“The crowd should start to pick up soon.” 

“Oh I bet.” Kim chuckles. “If things go well, you can start bringing in the drugs earlier than planned.” 

He surveys the area for a while, walking to one end of the parapet and back to them. The wheels in his head seem to be turning but he doesn’t say much. Only a smile, before giving a rough pat on their shoulders. “I’ll be in touch.” His men walk in front as he follows along down the stairs and out the same exit as the others earlier. 

“I think that went well.” Suga grins and Jungkook snorts at the glee on his face. 

“You really got me all worried when you called.” Jungkook sighs, watching waiters and waitresses clear the empty booth. He joins Suga, resting his forearm on the barrier, eyes roaming the place. “We’re clear now. He probably won’t be back anytime soon. He rarely does spot-checks in person.”

“Didn’t you see the look on his face?” Suga wets his bottom lip. “I think he’s planning something.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know but be ready for anything.” His words are unsettling but Jungkook leaves it for now. Suga ruffles the back of Jungkook’s head like he does to a kid. “You can go now. I’ll handle things tonight.”

With a twist of his face Jungkook shakes his head. “I’ll stay for a while.” 

From the corner of his eye, Jungkook sees the slight surprise on Suga’s face. Usually, he’d jump at the chance to clock off early. Suga wonders if he’s finally going back to the old him. That is, until something, or someone, catches his eye. 

“Oh. I see why you wanna stay.”

“Hm?”

He nods in the direction of the bar. A shimmery sky blue dress catches his eye. One that Jungkook recognises. 

𝄖𝄖

“Oh this is nice,” your words insincere, “and loud.”

“It’s a club.” Jimin says, looking at you unbelievably. It’s been a while since you last stepped foot in one. Your hand is in his as he makes sure you don’t get separated from the group. Hana grabs on to your elbow as she follows behind. 

Finally reaching the bar, you find an empty spot, pulling Hana along with you. Among the crowd, you spot some people you know and some you don't; all of them friends of Taehyung. He then rushes over and wraps his arms around the three of you. “Just have fun tonight guys! Hoseok’s the designated driver so don’t be shy, drink up!!” He cheers, running back to where his other friends are, already downing some shots. 

“What’re you having?” Jimin asks. 

“Ooh, I’ll have⎯”

“Not you.” He tilts his head to the side. “You.”

You look behind you. Hana stares back blankly but you notice the tiny smile on her lips. She’s never been one to take interest in men like Jimin. He’s much too loud for her.

“Oh my god.” You laugh. “I’ll stay out of this.” You remove yourself from your spot and switch places with Hana. She gladly entertains Jimin, whispering to you that it’s only for tonight. 

You scan the shelves of bottles on display, hundreds of them, not making your choice any easier. You haven’t been to a club in a long time and the only way you would last the night in this atmosphere is if you had some alcohol in you. 

Someone slips in next to you, body brushing against yours as they squeeze between others. When a hand appears on your lower back however, you tense up. “What’s a pretty girl like you doing all alone on a Friday night?” He says. Your grip his arm, wanting to push him away, until you spare him a glance. 

Mirroring the silly smile on his face, you shove his hand away anyway. “I’m not alone, I’m with my friends.” You point your thumb in the direction of the others behind you. 

“You look awfully lonely standing here while your friends are out there.” He gives you a once-over. “How about I keep you company?” 

“No thanks.” 

“Wanna go somewhere else? Somewhere with more privacy?” 

“I don’t think my boyfriend would like that.” 

He looks away to fight a smile forming. “What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” 

“Tempting...” With his back against the bar, he makes room for you between his legs and pulls you in. Your hands rest on his arm while he holds you by the waist. “You do look like the type I’d go for.” He’s distracted by the choice of lip gloss you have on, which seems to have a magnetic effect on his lips.

“Wow, you actually showed up.” Jimin hits his shoulder a little too hard and he glares at Jimin for ruining the moment yet again. “I guess I’ll have those two shots now.” He shrugs. 

“As if you weren’t going to have them anyway.” You roll your eyes as you watch him watch the bartender fix them up. He downs them in seconds, wincing as it burns but enjoying it nonetheless. 

“If you hadn’t shown up, she would’ve taken the shots.” Jimin lifts the empty glass in his hand as a toast. 

“Aw, that would’ve been fun.” Hana snickers. She turns to you. “I haven’t seen you drunk in a while. She’s a real gem when she’s drunk.” She directs the last part to Jungkook. 

“Oh I’ve had the pleasure of meeting that special lady.” Jungkook winks.

“Hey, no judging.” 

Hana raises her hands in surrender but she’s interrupted by Jimin’s hands snaking around her waist. You watch as they get into a squabble. The others have dispersed, most of them on the dance floor, Taehyung in the middle of it all. Watching him gets you stirred and you drag Jungkook with you through the dancing bodies. 

You find a spot in the centre and start swaying your hips against Jungkook. He keeps his hands on you as if to make sure every other person there knows you’re taken. With your back pressed against him, he leans down and captures your lips, tongue fighting for dominance as your hips grind against him. He has half a mind to take you right here in the middle of the floor. 

You turn abruptly to face him, disrupting his fantasy. “I know that look.” You say into his ear. “You pervert.” Those sultry eyes of his drops to your chest, openly ogling at your cleavage. Giggling, you push his face to the side and he laughs, kissing you again. You spend close to an hour dancing, or actually, grinding against him.

“I’m glad you’re here.” You say, back at the bar, thirsty from all the dancing. Your hands run up his chest. “I missed you.” 

Jungkook shakes his head. “I’ve spent every day with you in the past week. Every night too.” He winks and you play with his collar. “You still miss me?” You nod and he holds you closer, bringing his lips to your neck where it tickles and your shoulders raise as a reflex. 

“Well, look who’s here.” 

It’s a voice you recognise. And one you weren’t expecting but also glad to hear. Jungkook lifts his head up from you. Suga nods in your direction, looking at Jungkook for just a second, then back to you. 

“Hi.” You say. “You’re here too?” You look at Jungkook but his face is impossible to read. He doesn’t seem surprised nor does he look angry. He must have been with Suga before this. 

Suga ignores your question but tells Jungkook he’s needed somewhere. “They’re asking for you.” Is all he says and you feel Jungkook’s chest rise and fall in a sigh under your touch. 

“Be right back.” He says to you regretfully, kissing your cheek. Jungkook grabs Suga by the arm as he moves to take the place next to you. They share an awkward look before he says, “Keep an eye on her for me.”

“I’d be happy to.” He smiles playfully. 

Jungkook slides between bodies till he disappears in the crowd. With an elbow resting on the bar, there’s a hint of amusement in the way Suga looks at you. 

“What?” You ask. 

“Nothing. I just didn’t think you’d be the clubbing type.” 

You’re not offended, but the way he smiles makes you feel like you should be. The judgement that’s apparent on his face challenges you to prove him wrong. Even though of course, he’s right. He calls the bartender over and orders himself a vodka. The bartender’s hands get busy but she keeps her attention on you. “And for the pretty lady?” She asks.

“Oh my bad. Can I get you anything?” Suga asks. “We have iced tea.” 

You ignore him and order a shot of tequila, much to his surprise. “Coming right up.” The bartender says, as she fixes up the drink. Suga watches as you down a single shot and immediately orders another. 

“Is that all you’re having?” You nod to the vodka in front of him. You’re reaching for some cash in your purse when he stops you. 

“It’s on the house.” He says, downing his drink. “And yes, I’m not trying to get drunk tonight. I have work to do.”

“On the house? Work?” Your face scrunches up. “You work here?” 

“Work here?” Now he looks confused and slightly offended. “You don’t know? Jungkook and I run this place.” 

It hits you like a slap in the face and you wish the alcohol would start to kick in already so you wouldn’t just be staring at him in surprise. “I definitely did not know that.” 

“Oh. I’m sure there's a reason he didn’t tell you.” 

Though his face remains void of any emotion, you can’t ignore the bitterness in his tone. You hesitate before asking. “You don’t like me very much, do you?” 

“What makes you say that?” He looks elsewhere, suddenly finding interest in the people on the dance floor. 

You think over your choice of words carefully. Getting close to Suga has been your game play from the start. But with Jungkook always keeping you at a distance from him, it set you back. Once Suga trusts you, it’ll only get easier from there. Since Jungkook won’t be letting you into the world of his secret life anytime soon, the only way in is through someone he trusts. 

“We could be good friends you know.” You smile.

He waits for you to convince him, a doubtful look on his face. “Really? What could we possibly have in common?” 

“Have a drink with me and maybe you’ll find out.” 

You hold out a drink in front of him. Your cheerful demeanour makes it hard for him to say no, even though he thinks it might be the alcohol getting to you. Suga lets out an exasperated breath, and takes the glass from you.

𝄖𝄖

Jungkook groans, kicking the door shut behind him. He tosses the book in his hand on the table, knocking over a bunch of stationery. What he thought was going to be a short call, ended up being a trip back down to the HQ just to double check the inventory. 

He’s just about to let his butt touch the seat when there’s a knock on the door. “Please don’t come in.” He begs.

It opens and he sighs. The music travels inside now that the door’s open and he massages the front of his head, feeling a headache coming in. “Hey. Someone wants to speak to the manager.” Suga says casually. 

“What? Why?” Jungkook shakes his head and turns to face him. “You talk to them then, you’re the manager too.” 

“No, she wants the other manager.” 

Jungkook frowns. Suga keeps the door open with his foot and reaches over to the side. Jungkook watches as he struggles with the other person. They resist and pull away but Suga easily gains control. Jungkook sighs, preparing himself for what’s to come. 

“Stop! I said, I only wanna speak to the other⎯” You stand by the door leaning against Suga while you try to maintain your balance. Your eyes go wide when you see Jungkook and he looks back at you, perplexed. 

“The other manager.” Suga finishes your sentence. 

“Oh hi.” You fix your hair and dress before making your way towards Jungkook, stumbling a few times until he meets you halfway. 

“Um. Hi.” Jungkook says. 

“She’s had a few drinks.” Suga informs him. 

“A few?!” Jungkook guides you to his desk. 

“Don’t look at me. It was her idea.” Yoongi raises his hands in a surrender and slowly backs off, closing the door before he leaves. 

“Shh! I have a complaint!” You fail to stand on your own, needing Jungkook’s hands on your arms to keep you upright. He backs up, sitting on the edge of his desk, holding on to you while you rest your entire weight on him.

“Do you now?” He lets you lean on his chest. When you lift your head, he pushes away the stray hair. “What is it?” 

“I’m upset! You left me.” 

He laughs quietly. “I’m sorry. I had to go check on something.” 

“And why didn’t you tell me about this club?” You say in a tiny voice, pouting. “Is it because I’m not cool enough? Cause that’s what the other manager thinks...”

“Suga?” Jungkook asks. 

“Yeah him.” Your tired eyes focus on something behind him while you mumble, face a little swollen. “We’re friends now, you know?”

“That’s nice. But don’t listen to him okay? You are cool. The coolest girlfriend ever.” Jungkook kisses your forehead and you break into a giddy smile.

“Really?” He nods. “Then why didn’t you tell me about this club?”

“Because I didn’t know what you would think about it. What if you hated it?” 

“Jeon Jungkook.” You stand up straight. Or try to, at least, holding on to his arms before your hands cup his face. “I would never. I will always support you. You got that?” 

He chuckles, holding you tight against him. “You’re adorable.” 

“Also!” You push away. Your eyes roam over his body and you drag your hand down his front. “It’s kinda sexy...you being a manager.” 

“There she is.” Jungkook laughs, being reminded of the Valentine’s situation. “I knew you were in there somewhere.” 

“She missed you.” 

“Aw, I miss her too.” His hand finds the back of your neck to guide your lips onto his. The shaky sigh that comes from you as he grabs a fistful of your hair to tug on makes him smile. You hike your leg up on his thigh, trying to get whatever friction you can get. The tight dress makes it hard for him to slip his hand under, so he grabs your thigh instead, digging into your skin. “This damn dress.” He mutters, lips on yours. 

“You don’t like it?” You ask innocently. “Maybe I should take it off⎯”

The door slams open and Suga comes back inside. You separate from Jungkook with a gasp but then groan when you realise it’s only him. It’s like the two of you are invisible as he moves around the table to collect his things from one of the drawers. “What?” He stops when he notices your stares. 

“Do you mind?” Jungkook asks.

“Yes actually I do.” His eyebrows raise. “This is a shared table. I don’t want your nasty fluids all over.” He gathers his belongings, and puts on his jacket. Glancing at Jungkook, he nods to the door, “Come on, let’s go. The guys can handle things tonight.”

Jungkook turns to you. “I’ll send you home okay?” 

“No! I wanna go with you.” You whine, hanging on to his neck for dear life. 

“Y/N,” he tries to reason, prying your hand off him. You don’t budge, only clinging on to him tighter. “Fine but. We’re going to Suga’s apartment. Are you sure you wanna come?” 

“Yes.” You say, muffled. 

“Okay then. Let’s go tell the others you’ll be with me.” 

𝄖𝄖

The unfamiliar setting doesn’t bother you much, thanks to the alcohol. Jungkook comes out of the shower to find you on the floor, between the couch and the coffee table, laughing at something your new best friend is saying. He sighs however, looking at the drink in your hand. He jumps over the back of the couch and picks it out of your hand. 

“Hey!” You frown. “Give it back! We’re playing never have I ever.”

“Y/N, he’s not even drinking.” Jungkook speaks to you gently, hooking his hand under your arm to pull you up on the couch. “He’s just messing with you.” 

You turn to Suga for confirmation. That’s probably why his glass has been full since the start. “Maybe he just has never ever all the never have I evers.”

“Stop it.” Jungkook holds back a laugh as he warns Suga who’s laughing quietly, finally taking a sip of his drink. He helps you up and you get comfortable next to him on the couch. He had left you with Suga and a glass of water to sober up, but came back to the glass still full and an opened bottle of whiskey on the table.

“You smell nice.” You mumble, rubbing your head against him like a cat. “Gimme kiss.”

He complies, leaning down for chaste kisses that has you breaking into giggles. But it’s not enough. You yank him by the neck and let yourself fall back onto the couch. With a hand on the cushion behind you, he pulls away and the sticky sound of your lips separating makes Suga wince. “What are you doing?” He mutters. 

“Kissing.” 

“Okay. Can we kiss inside?” Jungkook glances in Suga’s direction and you tilt your head back. His hands slide down your side to your hips, making sure your dress doesn’t ride up any further. 

Suga smiles, sipping on his drink. “Just pretend I’m not here.” 

You laugh but Jungkook sits back up, pulling you along with him. “I think I need a drink too.” He sighs, reaching for your glass of whiskey still sitting on the table. 

“What’s wrong?” You cup his head and speak to him like he’s a child. “Is everything okay?” 

“It’s been a long night.” 

“Aw.” You embrace him, giving him soft pats. “I’m sorry Kookie.” 

“Kookie.” Suga repeats, pressing his lips into a thin smile. Jungkook drops his face into his hand and groans.  He can’t even be mad at you, not with how you’re looking at him lovingly with soft, glossy eyes and a tender smile. 

“Hey Suga,” you look around the place, suddenly curious as the paint peeling off the walls distracts you. “Why is your place so...ugly.” 

“See?” Jungkook snickers, licking his lips after a sip of the whiskey. “I’ve been telling you to at least get the walls fixed or something.” 

“Look, why does it matter?” Suga sighs. “I’m only here to sleep, shower and sometimes eat. I’d rather save my money for something else.” 

“Are you rich?” You ask, leaning your head against Jungkook’s arm. “Can you buy me a pony?” 

Suga furrows his brows then glances at Jungkook. “Why would I buy you a pony?” 

“Why not?” You say in a soft voice. “I’ve always wanted one. If you’re a real friend you’d get me a pony…” 

Jungkook breaks into a laugh, shaking his head as he squeezes you, kissing the top of your head. “Sorry. She talks a lot when she’s drunk. She’s not normally like this though.”

“It’s cute.” Suga shrugs, looking at you. 

“The last time you were drunk you wanted a navel piercing.” Jungkook says to you. “The next day you almost cried when I said I’d bring you to the piercing shop to get one.” 

Jungkook sips more of the vodka. You think about what he said for a second. “I know...I actually have been thinking of getting nipple piercings instead.” 

Jungkook chokes on his drink, coughing and clearing his throat as Suga whistles at your confession. You look at them confused. “Okay.” Jungkook sets the glass down and stands. “You’re done. It’s time for bed.” 

“Bed? Oh, bed.” You wink dramatically, with a light tone to your voice. Suga shakes his head, feeling somewhat endeared by you. You are adorable, he'll give you that. He kinda prefers you drunk than sober though. Before you leave, you turn to him. “You’re not joining us?”

“What?” Jungkook hisses. “Of course he’s not joining us.”

“Are you inviting me for a three⎯”

“You wish.” Jungkook spits out, lifting you over his shoulder. Suga sighs, swinging his legs over the side of the armchair, muttering a soft “kinda do wish though” under his breath. 

𝄖𝄖

The bed you’re sleeping on tonight isn’t any bigger than yours, but it is older and squeakier. It’s in a guest room which Jungkook has spent many nights in, although he prefers the couch. After a quick shower, Jungkook lets you wear one of his spare tees for you to go to bed in. The shower seemed to have calmed you down a little, though he can tell you’re still out of it. He lets you snuggle up in his arms. 

“You’re cute when you’re drunk,” Jungkook says, patting your head. “But you really shouldn’t drink so much. I just know you’re gonna regret it tomorrow.” 

“I just wanted Suga to like me.” You pout. “I thought it would help us bond.”

Jungkook chuckles. “He does like you. I know it.” 

“Really?” You blink up at him. 

“Yes baby.” Jungkook smiles reassuringly. “You did good.” 

You giggle, very obviously proud of yourself. You wish to talk more, but your eyelids feel so heavy. Jungkook notices this and kisses you on the forehead while his hand runs up and down your back.

“You’re not gonna remember any of the shit you said tonight, are you?” 

“Probably not.” You hum, “but I remember that I love you.”

“I love you too.”

You giggle and let out a sigh after a while. He thinks you’ve fallen asleep until you speak again. “My boyfriend would be very sad if he knew I said I love you to someone else.” 

“He’ll be okay.” 

“Will he?” Your voice goes soft. You clutch his shirt a little tighter, burying your face into him. “I hope so…”

Jungkook frowns. He figured you were messing around, but it seems like the alcohol and sleep has you sleep talking. “What do you mean?” 

“Lots of trouble...lots..drugs.” Jungkook stiffens, feeling his heart leap in his chest. “...and like...the detective...mess.” 

He remains silent for a while. It’s not like he thought you were unaware of it all. But what were you saying about a⎯ “Detective?” 

“What detective?” You mumble, slowly drifting away.

Jungkook shakes his head and lets out a breath. “Must be the alcohol. Get some sleep, baby.” Stroking your head, he kisses you goodnight. He tries to sleep himself but he finds it difficult, mind going back to what you said. He reaches under his pillow, careful not to wake you, sleeping on his arm.

Jungkook: i think we have a problem.

𝄖𝄖

“Everything sucks when you have a hangover.” You groan, trying not to drool against the counter. Hana replaces the cold coffee in your cup with a fresh batch. She transfers a blueberry muffin from the glass display onto a plate and slides it over to you. 

“Ugh.” You wince, lifting your head off the table from the sound. 

“I told you it was a bad idea.” Hana says, wiping the counter. Thankfully, you don’t have a shift today. “Was it worth it though?”

“I think he trusts me now, kinda.” You take a small bite of the muffin. “He said bye to me when we left his apartment this morning.” 

Hana gives you a displeased look. “What?” 

“The point is that he stayed with me the entire night last night, let me stay over at his place and Jungkook isn’t trying to keep me away from him.” 

“Okay so,” she gestures, “now what?”

“Now...we wait.” You take a sip of the coffee in front of you.

Hana eyes you down curiously. She steps away to attend to a customer, giving you some time to think. When she comes back, she leans against the other side of the counter and presses her lips together. “I don’t like that look on your face. You’ve thought of something.” 

You check your surroundings. The usual customers are around, scattered across the cafe, absorbed in their own work. You speak softly. “I think I’m gonna try and join his crew.”

“Are you crazy?” Hana snaps at you. She keeps her voice hushed. “Y/N, these are dangerous people.” 

“I know but Jungkook will be there to protect me.” You say it, but you don’t even believe it yourself. Sure, Jungkook’s there. And he would protect you, but to what extent can he do that?

“No. You’re not doing this.” 

“Okay wait.” You breathe out, rubbing your aching temples. “Okay how about this, I’ll see if they’ll let me work at the club. As a bartender or something.” 

“Dude no. You already have a bartending job.” She gestures around her. “Here.” 

“Hana you’re making this difficult for me.”

“Me?!” She gasps. “You’re the one joining a syndicate when you’re supposed to be getting your boyfriend out of it.” 

“This is how I’ll get him out!”

“How?” She folds her arms. “Tell me. How will joining them help you get Jungkook out?”

“Um…” You bite your lip and answer in a soft voice. “I haven’t thought of that yet.”

She shakes her head. You hate it when she does that. You sit quietly and sulk, a frown apparent on your face. “You’re getting yourself into trouble.” 

“We all know Jungkook’s very sensitive when it comes to this. Maybe if I’m part of his circle, he’ll get more comfortable talking to me about it.” You convince yourself as you’re saying it. “And then it’ll be easier to convince him to leave.” 

Hana is silent, just watching you. She leans on her forearms against the counter, moving in closer to you. “I don’t know much about these kinds of groups but, I don’t think it’s that easy. You can’t just leave as an when you want to. Don’t bite off more than you can chew.” 

You let her words sink in as she goes back to work. You have nothing to say because she’s probably right, it’s not going to be as easy as you make it out to be. There are many other factors to consider. It’s not a solid plan, but you stand by it, thinking it might be worth a shot once you figure things out. You just don’t know where to start. 

An alarm goes off on your phone and your jump in your seat. You’d set one as a reminder to head to the campus library. The sound worsens your already throbbing head while you pack your things and take the last few bites of your muffin. You follow up with the coffee and groan softly, feeling your tummy protest. A small burp follows.

“Excuse me.” You say, glancing at the man standing nearby, waiting for his drink. 

He smiles back and the first thing you notice are his dimples. “Hangover?” He asks.

“Yeah. Is it that obvious?” 

“Not to be rude but,” he leans in closer to whisper, “you look like crap.” He winks after, so you know he’s kidding. 

“You’re lucky I’m not on my shift today, otherwise you’d be getting something else with that coffee.” He raises a brow at your weak attack and you close your eyes, sighing. “Sorry. That was meant to be intimidating but...it sounded better in my head.” 

“I get it.” He nods, smiling. “Hangover.” 

“Right.” You stand from your seat and sling your backpack over your shoulder. Hana comes over and places the stranger’s coffee on the counter top before turning her attention to you. “I’m gonna go.” You say to her and she nods with a smile before going back to work. 

“And I’ll see you around Mr….” You tilt your head slightly, focusing on the name scribbled on his cup. “Namjoon.” 

He nods again with an amused smile as he watches you walk swiftly out the door. 

𝄖𝄖

You check the time on your phone and slot the book in your hand back in its place. You’ve lost track of time in the Fiction section and Jungkook will be coming to get you in an hour. You speed walk over to the References section and start scanning for a specific book. The lack of sudden, loud noises in the library is pure bliss to you. You had taken an Aspirin a while back, still waiting for its effects to kick in.

“Y/N.”

You gasp a little too loudly and jump at the sudden intrusion of your space. Hoseok holds his hands out before him to show he means no harm. “What are you doing?” You hiss. “You scared me.” 

“Sorry.” He scratches the back of his head. “What a coincidence, running into you here.” 

A towel hangs over one shoulder and a duffel bag on the other. He’s dressed in jogger pants and a basketball tee. “Is it a coincidence?” You raise a brow, eyeing his outfit.

“Okay, I kinda just wanted to talk to you about something.” He admits. He recognised you from across the library where he was printing some documents. 

“Is it about Jungkook again?” You ask. 

“Kinda.” He shrugs. “I don’t know if you’ve heard but⎯” 

“Something about a staff member?” You cut him off and watch his face twist. 

“You knew?” 

“I’ve heard.” 

“And you’re not worried? Why would he do something so stupid?”

You tense up over his words and he notices this with the way your body changes.  “He’s not stupid. Okay? And it might not even be him. The rumour might not even be true,” 

“How would you know?” 

“I don’t. And neither do you. We don’t know anything.” You roll your eyes and turn to walk away, having had enough of him. He grabs your wrist to stop you. 

“You’re not gonna do anything?” He asks, making you even more annoyed.

“Hoseok, what are you doing about it?”

He watches you silently. 

“Exactly. I said I’ll handle it so let me handle it.” You say. “Besides, my plan is working already.” That’s a lie considering you don’t have much of that plan. 

“What plan? Getting drunk and flirting with his drug pusher friend?” 

Does he mean Suga? You’re livid. Is he actually judging you for what happened the night before? Hoseok senses the change in your demeanour yet again. But it’s too late to take it back. His eyes soften though it doesn’t do much to calm you down. “Are we done here?” 

You turn to leave and he calls for you once again. This time you only stand with your back to him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. I’m really worried. For Jungkook...for you.”

“Me?” You turn back around. “You don’t have to worry about me. Jungkook would never let anything happen to me.” 

The corners of his mouth twitch a little. “Fine. But I haven’t been able to reach my friend. I’m starting to think they got to him. I don’t even know if he’s still alive.” 

“Don’t say that. I’m sure he’s fine.” You say softly, feeling sympathetic towards him. He must be really worried. “Why don’t you call his office or something.”

“I can’t because I’m not supposed to know about this investigation in the first place, remember?” Hoseok sighs, running his hand through his hair. “Look, just be careful okay? And let me know if you need anything.” 

You nod. “I gotta go.” 

He doesn’t stop you this time and you rush out of there without the book you came here for. You’d come back tomorrow perhaps. Just as you reach the exit, you hear a whisper of your name. Give it up Hoseok! You think to yourself. You pick up speed and consider running off. That is until a hand slaps onto your shoulder and tugs on it.

“Slow down.” Sunhee whispers. She notices the look of trouble on your face. “Calm down. It’s just me. Not Hoseok.” 

Of course she would know. “You saw us?” 

“Yeah. I saw you, Hoseok, and the tension between you two.” She looks back and Hoseok’s no longer there. “So what was that all about?” 

“I don’t know.” You shrug, feigning ignorance. “He’s kinda weird.” 

She narrows her eyes at you but doesn’t push you any further. You ask for her company, just in case he comes back, knowing he’d never talk about anything in front of someone else.  As you walk around campus, you realise that almost everyone you come across along the way says hi to Sunhee. She really does know a lot of people. It’s no wonder she knows everyone’s business before they even know it themselves. 

A guy dressed in a black tee and jeans walks in your direction and you make a bet with yourself that he’d know Sunhee too. He gets closer and you smile to yourself as he nods to Sunhee, greeting her. But then he greets you too. “Hey Sunhee. Y/N.” 

“Oh. Hi.” Your reply comes late. It took you a while to register that he had just said your name. But you don’t know him. “Who was that?” You ask Sunhee.

“That guy? That’s Jae.” She says. You turn and watch his back as he walks down the hallway. 

“I don’t think I know him.” You try to remember if you may have been introduced to each other before. “How does he know my name?”

“Pretty sure anyone who knows Jungkook would know your name.” 

“Oh so he’s friends with Jungkook?” 

“You could say that.” She presses her lips together in a thin smile. 

“Sunhee…” 

You slow down. “Fine. Everyone knows Jae gets his supplies from Jungkook.” 

“Oh. It’s that kind of friendship…”

Sunhee leans in close, her wide eyes staring right at yours. “Rumour has it, he saw Jungkook selling some drugs to a faculty member.” 

Your heart leaps in your chest at the thought of it being true. It’s one thing for it to be a rumour, but this person has actually seen Jungkook in the act. You grab Sunhee’s arm urgently. “I need to talk to him.” 

Before she can utter a reply, you’re bolting off in the direction you came from, towards Jae. He hasn’t gone too far so it didn’t take long to catch up to him. Sunhee trails after you, calling out your name to get you to slow down. You only do so when you close up on him and with all the ruckus, he turns and stops, glancing at you with a confused look on his face. 

“What’s going on?” He asks carefully, eyes darting to Sunhee finally reaching your side. She catches her breath and glares at you unbelievably. 

“I need to ask you something.” You say gently. “It’s about Jungkook.” 

The mention of Jungkook’s name changes the look on his face. His tall, confident posture turns fidgety and anxious. “I don’t really know Jungkook.” He spits out before turning away hurriedly, pulling his cap down to cover his eyes. 

You move to stand in front of him. “You get your...prescriptions from him don’t you?” He gulps, looking around. The hallway is empty. But that doesn’t mean no one’s listening. “You’re not in trouble or anything. I just wanted to ask you about the rumour going around. Is it true?” 

“I don’t know, I didn’t start it.” He huffs.

“That’s not what I heard.” Your eyes move to Sunhee who stands behind him. He follows your gaze. 

Sunhee stares back blankly and shrugs, “What? That’s what I heard.”

Jae closes his eyes in defeat and sighs. “Let’s talk somewhere else.” He says, checking the empty hallway again. Then he leads you both down the hallway. He stops at a staircase just as the hallway ends, extending left and right into another one. As it just so happens, that’s where the staff rooms are. You would expect to more likely be in trouble if any faculty members overheard you, so why would he bring you here. 

He climbs up a few steps and takes a seat, resting his arms on his knees. “I didn’t start that rumour.” Is all he says. 

“Are you sure?” 

“Look, all I said was that I get my supplies from Jungkook.” He starts. “The rumour had already spread by then, about a staff member.” He keeps his voice low and you look around the corner every now and then to make sure no one is coming. “The thing is, it’s not that this guy gets his supply from students. He’s the supplier.”

Sunhee’s jaw drops like you’ve just promised her everything she’s ever wanted. “Are you serious? Oh my god.” She bites her lip and quietens down when you give her a look. 

“So where does Jungkook come in?” 

“When the word spread about this guy, a few guys who usually deal with me came and asked if this other guy is legit. Of course I told them I don’t know anything about it. I’ve only ever dealt with Jungkook.” He shrugs. “As far as I know, Jungkook’s the only supplier. It’s kinda weird that this guy suddenly pops out of nowhere. And since Jungkook’s been kinda missing in action lately, I guess a lot of his buyers assume he might be the one supplying the new guy to replace him.” 

“Jungkook’s been missing in action?” 

“Well not completely.” Jae says. He gets up and brushes the back of his jeans. “He’s been kinda slow on the orders. Maybe he’s busy.”

“Right.” You nod, trying to put together everything you just found out. 

“Speak of the devil. That’s him right there.” So that’s why he chose to speak to you here. Jae looks over your shoulder, and along the hallway lined with doors that are staff-only accessible, he struts down with a book in his hand and a cup of coffee in the other. 

“No way.” You whisper to yourself as you watch him. He enters the admin room, tapping a card on a small machine next to the door which unlocks it. You keep your eyes on the door, blinking away, wondering if your eyes were playing tricks on you. “That’s him?”

“That’s him.” Jae confirms. He slips between the two of you. “I gotta go now. I won’t get in trouble with Jungkook, will I?” 

“Of course not.” You reassure him, “I just wanted to know about the rumour and who started it.”

“Cool.” He nods. “You know, I’m loyal too. I never switched over cause I trust him.” 

“Good to know.” You say with a hint of amusement in your voice. “I’ll be sure to let him know you’re a big fan.” 

He only smiles before walking away, waving to the two of you. Before Sunhee can leave too, you grab on to her arm. “Keep whatever you heard today to yourself.” 

A soft whine is her response and she looks at you with puppy-dog eyes, silently pleading. You stand your ground. “Not even one person?” 

“Not even one person.” You hold out your pinky in front of her. “Promise.”

“Which part though, the Jungkook part or the new guy or⎯”

“All of it. No one has to know anything.” 

“Disagree⎯”

“Sunhee!” 

“Alright, alright.” She groans but hooks her pinky around yours and you tighten your grip. “I guess I won’t tell anyone. What’s this all about anyway?”

She raises a brow when you don’t reply. “It’s nothing. I can’t tell you.”

“You’re as mysterious as your boyfriend these days.” Can’t tell if it’s a compliment, seeing as how she’s narrowing her eyes as though she’d be able to read your mind if she tries hard enough. “Probably for the best, you know I can’t keep my mouth shut anyway.” 

“If you can keep this quiet, we’ll go for rush parties together.” There’s a sudden sparkle in her eye. Who you go with is crucial in determining what kind of night you’ll have. Being seen entering with the right people, means you’ll probably be making lots of new friends. And being seen with you, a girlfriend of someone in the host house, will lead to lots of new socialising opportunities for Sunhee.

“Deal.” Is all she says, no further bargaining. Her body turns in the direction you were headed earlier before Jae, “You coming?” 

“Um.” You look around the quiet hallway. “You know what, I'll just take this exit. Jungkook’s picking me up anyway.”

“Alright. See you next week.” She winks and heads off. 

You text Jungkook, to let him know where you’d be waiting for him. While you wait, you scan the long board display between doors. Pictures of staff members everywhere along with their names and designated roles underneath each photo. By the end of the entire row, you hadn’t found him. 

Past the glass display, full of trophies and medals from inter-college competitions, you find a board plastered with information on new extracurricular clubs. An acapella group, self-defense classes, poetry⎯ wait, self-defense classes. “Led by special instructor Kim Namjoon...” 

You hadn’t realised when he appeared behind you but his low sounding voice makes you jump. “Interested?” He chuckles when you make a squeaking sound. “Sorry didn’t mean to scare you.” 

“So you work here.” You say the obvious. 

“Yeah.” Now he’s looking at the flyer on the board. “Not to brag but, I designed this myself.” 

“It’s cute.” You nod. “Self-defense instructor and a flyer expert. Truly a jack of all trades.” 

He laughs then looks down at his feet as his hands sink into his pockets. He wears a brown checkered v-neck vest over a light blue shirt. To think this is the guy everyone’s talking about. The one dealing drugs. “Are you waiting for someone?” He asks, looking around.

“Yes, yeah, I better go wait by the exit, he’ll be here any minute.” You check your phone. 

“I’ll walk with you.” He offers. With his arm stretched forward, he gestures for you to walk with him. “Was on my way to get some fresh air anyway. How’s the hangover by the way?” 

“Oh much better, thanks.” You’re reminded of the lame attempt at a comeback at the cafe earlier and wince. “So how long have you been working here?”

“Not long.” He faces forward as he walks. “The school only confirmed my classes like a month ago.” 

“I see.” 

“Will you sign up?” 

“Oh I don’t know.” You shake your head and laugh dryly. “I have so much on my plate already.”

“Well if you ever wanna drop by one of the classes, just let me know.” 

“That’s nice of you, thank you.” You smile and once again you’re distracted by his dimples. “How’s the response though?”

“It’s great! I might have to split the class into three and have them on different days of the week.” 

“Wow, really?” You ask, surprised. “That good huh.”

“Yeah, I wasn’t expecting this either, honestly.” 

He shrugs, still wearing that cute smile on his face. You actually wonder if Jae might have gotten it all wrong. Maybe it wasn’t Namjoon. Maybe it was someone else, someone other than this big, huggable guy beside you. “That’s great though, I’m happy for you.” 

Late afternoon sun rays kiss your skin as you step out the doors. Down the steps, you see a familiar figure sitting on his bike. As it is, you get a text from Jungkook just then, telling you he’s here. “Is that your friend?” 

“Yup. I better go.” You say, one foot already down the step. “I’ll see you around. Maybe I will drop by for one of your classes.” 

“Please do.” He grins and looks so painfully handsome. “Oh and, I haven’t gotten your name.” 

“Y/N.” 

“See you y/n.” 

You trot down the steps and towards Jungkook who watches your little exchange. He removes his helmet to give you a kiss before handing over yours. “Who’s that?” He asks as you swing your leg over the pillion seat. You wrap your arms securely around his torso. 

“That’s Namjoon. We just met. He’s some self-defense instructor.”

Jungkook watches him not so subtly, hands on the handles but head twisted, burning holes in his direction. Namjoon doesn’t care too much for it. When you turn, he’s waving goodbye cheerfully. You wave back before turning to Jungkook. “What’s the matter? You know him?”

“Nope.” 

 𝄖𝄖

“So is it true?” A haughty voice fills the room as the door barges open with a kick. Jungkook keeps his back to its owner and continues sipping on his martini. Suga, sitting adjacent to him at the bar, turns in his chair. “Heard there’s a new guy in town. Have you finally lost your touch, Ace?”

Back at the headquarters in the early morning, the bar is empty save for the cleaners, picking up trash and wiping everything down. They had been called in by the lieutenant for a short meeting. Unfortunately, so had the other runners from another district. One who constantly makes it known that he hates them.

“Dude, why’re you so obsessed with him?” Suga asks calmly. They’re so used to Hongjun and his buddies running their mouths by now. 

Hongjun scoffs and the two other guys behind him laugh. “Obsessed? You wish.” He sneers. “I’m just concerned.”

“Worry about yourself.” Jungkook spits out without even sparing him a glance. 

“Are you kidding me?” Hongjun laughs dryly. “I’m so much better than you. Always have been.” 

The stool scrapes against the floor as Jungkook gets to his feet. He steps up to Hongjun, getting all up in his face. “And yet, you’re not the one they call Ace.” 

The scowl on Hongjun’s face says it all. His lips tremble with anger and he starts swinging Jungkook’s way. He lands a punch to Jungkook’s side and Jungkook retaliates with an uppercut to his nose. Staggering backwards into his friend, blood starts dripping down his nose. “You idiot! You⎯”

“What the fuck is going on.” Lieutenant Kyun appears, eyes moving from Suga to Jungkook, to Hongjun and his bloody nose, and back at Jungkook. Kyun is always calm. But dangerous. You never know what he’s thinking. “Explain.”

“I was returning the favour.” 

“You’ll pay for that!” Hongjun yells again. One of his guys slips behind the bar to get some ice and a towel. 

“Shut up.” His deep voice echoes through the empty room. “Stop acting like a bunch of kids. And you, stop whining, it's just a little blood.” 

Hongjun sinks into one of the chairs and sulks, holding up the towel-wrapped ice to his nose. Jungkook moves back to his seat, giving Suga a fist bump that doesn’t go unnoticed by the other guys. 

“First of all, you three.” He points to Hongjun and his friends. “You have a whole key of crack missing. Your numbers don’t tally, I don’t know how you guys missed this.” 

“What no, that’s impossible.” One of them says. 

“Either find it, or fix your numbers then.” Kyun says. “You know every little amount is evidence, if it lands in the wrong hands. Boss is not gonna be happy when he hears about this so I’m giving you guys three days to sort it out. Otherwise, it’s out of my hands.” 

Jungkook looks in their direction and gives a thumbs up with a smile on his face. The most genuine smile he’s ever given them probably. He gets the finger from all of them. 

“And you.” The focus is now on Jungkook. The smile is wiped from his face and he takes on his usual serious look. “What’s with the dip in your sales? You have a forty percent difference from previous months. This is ridiculous, honestly.” 

Some faint snickering comes from the other guys. Jungkook stays silent. “Come on, you know he’s being watched.” Suga says in defense. “He’s just trying to be careful.” 

“You can be careful and still do your job.” 

Jungkook has nothing to say. Besides, he thinks it’ll only make things worse. It’s best to get his ass chewed now and get it over with. Kyun checks his phone and a while later the bouncer steps in through the front door, someone behind him. “Sir, this man says he’s here to see you.” 

“Just in time.” He smiles for the first time that night. “Come, join us.” 

All eyes are on him as he steps out from behind the shadows and into the light. Suga and Jungkook watch him closely, observing the slick jacket he’s wearing above a tight tee, with tapered pants and his hair slicked back. He looks like another one of those businessmen they deal with. He exchanges handshakes with the lieutenant and the dimple on his face stands out as he smiles.

“Guys, this is our new recruit. RM.” Kyun says. He looks at Suga and Jungkook. “He was dispatched to your district. We wanted to see if he has what it takes. And so far, he’s doing well, for a rookie. You sure you haven’t done this before?”

“No sir.” The new guy says with a smile. He has a deep voice that rivals Kyun’s.

Hongjun is the first to get acquainted with him, offering a handshake with his non-bloody hand. “About time we had some fresh blood. What with how lazy some people are.” He emphasises on the lazy bit, subtly nodding his head in Jungkook’s direction. RM looks at Jungkook who stares back.

“That’s enough.” Kyun says. “Go out back and double check your numbers. Talking about lazy when you lose a whole key...” 

When the rest of the men are gone, Kyun turns to Suga and Jungkook. “He’ll be joining you from now on.” 

“No offense but,” Suga chuckles. “We’re a duo. We don’t need an extra guy.”

“No offense but you do. He’s the only reason the numbers in your district, which is under your supervision, is still steady.” Kyun says, wiping the smile on Suga’s face. “Before I let you guys off, RM I need a word with you.”

“Sure.” 

The two guys watch as he follows Kyun to a corner. They give each other a look of disapproval. Jungkook looks over at RM again, giving him a once over. 

“Now listen here,” Kyun says, keeping his voice low. He knows the other two are watching, so he speaks carefully. “I want you to keep an eye on Ace for me.”

“The kid?” RM asks, raising a brow. 

“He hasn’t been performing as well as of late. And he’s one of our best.” Kyun fakes a smile, pretending as if he’s saying something nice. “Just make sure there’s nothing we need to be worried about. He’s sharp, so don’t make it obvious. Update me weekly.”

“Done.” RM nods, returning the smile. Kyun gives him another handshake and a pat on the back.

“You okay?” Suga asks Jungkook, patting him reassuringly on the shoulder. “Don’t worry about him.”

Suga’s goes on saying some nasty things about RM but Jungkook tunes him out, only nodding as a response. He doesn’t tell Suga that he’s seen the new guy just earlier today. On those steps, with you.

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

Soulmarks, Part 21

First part

Previous

~~~

Mme. Bustier gave a sigh when the three dropped their documents on the desk in unison, but this was nothing compared to the shock that came with Marinette’s words:

“We’re transferring.”

“But… but you’ve only been students here for two days!” She said, flipping through the papers with wide eyes. “And you didn’t even come for the second!”

Marinette gave a tiny shrug and glanced at Tim, who waved a stack of papers.

“You can try and keep us, if you’d like, but we have record of over a year’s worth of bullying complaints where no action was taken. Of course, you can still contest us if you’d like to deal with Mr. Wayne and Mr. Agreste’s lawyers…”

The woman’s kind face drained of color.

“I’ll… I’ll sign this right away. I hope you enjoy your time at…” She looked at the papers. “Gotham Academy.”

Marinette sent her friends grins.

“I think we will. Thank you.”

~

The superheroes had never felt more anxious in their lives. Their food remained untouched in front of them... outside of Kagami, who was slowly eating her beignet fries.

Or, at least, she had been. Now she was looking at them all with wide eyes.

“Let me get this straight…” Said Kagami. “You --.” She pointed her fry at Adrien. “-- are Chat Noir. And you never told me to keep me safe, despite having no problem with giving me a miraculous on occasion.”

Adrien pursed his lips and looked at Marinette imploringly. She didn’t seem to be enjoying being the only one to speak. Her hand gripped Tim’s arm so tightly that he swore she was going to draw blood.

Damn, Tim could have so easily been left out of this. He didn’t know Kagami outside of what Adrien had said about his soulmate, he’d had every excuse to not come. But then Marinette had given him puppy-dog eyes and he was weak, okay?

Marinette coughed uncomfortably. “To be fair, Adrien was the one who didn’t want to tell you.”

Adrien choked. He glared daggers at his partner, only to stop and give his girlfriend the world’s most innocent smile. He carefully brought his hands up and made a heart with his fingers.

Kagami didn’t seem amused, taking a bite of the fry and turning back to Marinette slowly.

The girl did not seem to like this development, if the tightening of her grip on his arm was any indication.

“Anyway, because his dad is Hawkmoth, we’re relocating him. We have to tell the public who Hawkmoth was, because Gabriel was too important to just have him disappear, and we don’t want him to be attacked.”

Kagami took a sip of Adrien’s drink. The model huffed a little but let her have it.

“And you’re telling me in case I want to go with him?”

“Yep. We don’t even have to tell your mom where you’re going. I can go in as Ladybug and tell her I’m relocating you for safety reasons and we can take you.”

She nodded thoughtfully, then gave a shrug. “Sure. Sounds good. Where to?”

The heroes breathed for the first time that night.

~

The press. God, she hated the press. And she hated it even more now that they were screaming ‘Marinette’ instead of ‘Ladybug’.

But she had to do this.

Marinette fought the urge to mess with her yoyo as she stepped to the podium with Adrien at her side.

He still couldn’t speak but she’d still wanted him to come onstage with her.

She smiled faintly. “Hello, Paris, we have come to make some announcements.”

“First of all, Hawkmoth has been defeated.” She paused for the cheering and applause. “The authorities have given me clearance to share this with you: his civilian identity was Gabriel Agreste.”

The gasps were soon replaced by murmuring and she had to drum her finger on the microphone a few times to get their attention back.

“That being said, please do not attack Adrien Agreste. I did extensive research and observation, and I found that he did not know and was not involved in any way. However, just to be safe, I have decided to take him out of France. During my time in America, I found a suitable person to look after him.”

“Secondly…” She took a deep breath and looked at Adrien, who gave her an encouraging smile. “... we are resigning as protectors of Paris.”

The silence that followed that was deafening. She hugged herself.

“Hawkmoth has been defeated, we are no longer needed here… and it is no longer safe for my family, as the world knows my identity. We will also be relocating to America, but I implore you to respect our privacy.”

“As for Chat, he wishes to remain anonymous so he can continue hero work where he is needed. I hope you can respect that, too.”

“You won’t be left unprotected, of course. The Peacock miraculous is still lost and, though we doubt it is here, Rena Rouge, Carapace, and Queen Bee have all elected to remain in Paris in case it shows up.”

She swallowed thickly and looked out over the sea of people.

“Thank you.”

~

He flipped through a book on ASL, spinning in his swivel chair absently as he read.

Gotham was quiet at the moment, anyways. The most interesting thing he’d seen on the cameras all night had been Dick accepting a plate of cookies from a stranger.

His phone beeped to indicate his shift was almost over.

On cue, Marinette came in with two cups of coffee.

He smiled faintly as she took her seat, then she pushed her swivel chair over until it knocked against his a tiny bit. She read over his shoulder, sipping at her drink and occasionally bringing his to his lips so he could continue to hold the book for them.

He tugged at the collar of his turtleneck with an annoyed sigh. Honestly, he wished they’d come up with a different cover story for why Tim could no longer speak, because wearing sweaters all the time was quickly getting annoying. ‘Rich kid had taken a blow to his windpipe and could no longer speak’ wasn’t all that unlikely in Gotham, it was hard to beat, so now he had to wear turtlenecks all the time or spend time in the morning putting a fake scar over his neck.

(And, well, Tim had never been one to put much effort into his appearance when he could be doing something more productive.)

Thankfully, no one else had needed a cover. They were a bunch of French kids, no one would be surprised to hear that they had opted not to learn two languages at once. It would have been hard to come up with similar yet different accidents for all of them, and definitely a little suspicious.

Marinette pulled his hand away from his collar and pressed a kiss to it before lacing her fingers with his. “I think you look cute.”

He smiled.

His phone beeped and he quickly fumbled to silence it, because he’d barely done anything that night and he didn’t want to have to stop already, but from the way she set her jaw he knew that she wasn’t going to let him do that.

He set the book on his lap and signed: “Can I at least stay with you?”

Marinette blushed and nodded. He smiled at the tiny victory.

She pressed a hand to her comm. “Right, I’m here, now. Ryuuko, Chaton, report.”

“We found some really good hotdogs on eighth,” said Kagami.

“That’s…” She laughed. “Good for you. Bring me one in the morning.”

“I’m glad you’re getting some sort of nutrition, but get back to work,” said Bruce.

Kagami and Adrien groaned and she could hear them pick up speed.

“Batman, report.”

“No new information on the Two-Face situation.”

She rolled her eyes. “Of course. Nightwing, Batgirl, report.”

“A civilian gave us cookies,” said Dick brightly.

“Are they poisoned?”

“We’ll find out soon,” said Barbara with a tiny sigh. “Nightwing already ate one.”

“Nightwing!”

Dick murmured something that the comms couldn’t catch, likely some version of ‘traitor!’, and then attempted to defend himself: “The lady gave them to me directly! It would have been rude not to eat one!”

She rolled her eyes. “Great. Take the cookies to Alfred to inspect and then take Nightwing to medbay just in case.”

“Gotcha.”

Tim smiled, watching her flip through their views to make sure they were all safe.

He had never really intended the man-in-the-chair thing to become his permanent form of vigilantism, had always thought he would go back to being Robin at some point, but he was glad that he hadn’t.

After all, it was less stressful and unlikely to get them hurt.

And he knew that Marinette liked the new job, too, if the tiny computer over his heart was any indication.

He felt her rest her head on his shoulder again, apparently appeased by what she had seen, and he wrapped his arm around her.

They listened to a police scanner and relaxed, together.

~~~

I need to stop writing finales at 3am --

Taglist

@pawsitivelymiraculous @golden-promises @salty-fang @kitsunebell @sassakitty @octobitch @glastwime859 @miyla-lokidottir @onlyabatfan @ira-sairain @2confused-2doanything @ultimatetornshipper @ladybug-182 @laurcad123 @we-want-mini-mini @roguishredaxion @just-reblogs-by-h @futursworld @magic-miraculous @nathleigh @smolplantmum @vroomtaka  @emimar7 @toodaloo-kangaroo @charme-de-malchan @spicybelladonna @fusser90 @indecisive-mess-named-me @rosesgonerogue @celestialsiren @bluesimani @loysydark @trippingovermyfeet @goblinwhoships @kaithehero

[make-me-imagine]

💀 13 Days of Halloween: Day 8

Prompt: “Are you scared?” 

Requested by: Anonymous

Pairing: Steve Rogers x G!NReader

Warnings: General Haunted house stuff; fake blood; clowns, etc. 

Genre: Casual + Fluff        Words: 1,391

Marvel Taglist: @aquariuslavenderhoney​ Requested Tag: @thebookbakery​

If you’d like to check out 2019 and 2018′s 13 Days of Halloween, as well as my 2017 general Halloween/Fall stuff here are the links: x2017x, x2018x & x2019x

With a sharp intake of breath you tried not to be audible as the clown dressed actor ran away after jumping out at you. Natasha let out an annoyed sigh before smiling in enjoyment after being startled as well, Sam laughed, as Steve let out a breathy chuckle. 

“I hate this” you muttered out “And I hate that I let you convince me to come” your comment was directed at Nat and Sam, who are the ones who practically forced you and Steve to come to the haunted house.

Steve looked at you with mild amusement and pity as he knew you hated being scared, well, at least, he now knew. 

“Aw come on Y/N you have to admit this is pretty fu-AHH” Sam’s sentence was cut off as one of the actors came up from behind and scared him.

You turned in shock at his voice, letting a smile form on your face “Okay, I’ll admit, THAT, was fun”

Sam looked at you with mild disdain before you all continued on. After rounding a corner, you made your way through a foggy and cob-web ridden hallway, in which you could barely make out your path.

You were behind Steve, who decided to take point, knowing you didn’t want to be in front. Approaching the end of the hall, you had the choice of two separate halls. “Left or right?” Steve asked looking over his shoulder at you, you shrugged in response not really caring about anything but getting out.

Looking down each path for a second he spoke quietly “Left it is”

Turning to follow him, you were unaware of Nat stopping Sam and pulling him down the other hall. The second she did so, Sam knew why, so he followed her with a smirk. They had both been trying to convince one of you to admit your feelings for the other for months now. So, leaving you two alone in one of your least favorite situations might help push things along. They hoped. 

As you wandered down the path, you had yet to realize that it was just the two of you now. Jumping when a woman dressed in torn and bloody clothing screamed, you gasped, instinctively getting closer to Steve for protection. 

At the same time, Steve had turned at the sound, his own instinct being to block you with his arm protectively. Glancing down at you, he saw you looking down, somewhat hiding your face. His own heart was pounding but from the jump-scare, and at your closeness. 

Turning down another hallway, it appeared eerily empty, as the walls were lined with chains and fake bloody hand prints. You knew someone or something was going to jump out at some point, but what you hated was that you didn’t know when. Seeing your hesitation Steve spoke quietly “Are you scared?”

You chucked slightly “I thought that was pretty obvious” 

He smiled at your reply “Yeah, well, don’t worry I’m pretty sure we’re almost done, right Sam?” Steve turned to look behind him, hesitating. 

Following Steve’s perplexed look, you turn as well, seeing that both Nat and Sam and gone “Son of a-” you muttered out “When did they disappear”

“My guess is at the split hallway, they must have gone right.” 

You and Steve looked at each other, the thought crossing both your minds of whether or not they did it on purpose, both of you then looked down the hallway “I guess we’ll meet them at the end.” 

You let out a small groan as Steve began down the hall, stopping and turning back, seeing your face he smiled lightly. Having an idea, his heart pounded at the possibility, but taking the chance, he reached out his hand, for you to take. 

“It’ll be alright, we’re almost done”

Looking at his hand, your own heart began to pound a little harder than before, and now for a different reason. Reaching out, you took his hand, letting him pull you towards him. Bringing you to his side, you continued down the hall. 

Usually, you would try not to focus on being this close to Steve, and instead, on your surroundings. But this time, you focused on him, and his presence, ignoring the creaking and creepy music playing around you. 

As another scream sounded, you saw a man dressed as a clown pop out from the rafters above you, gasping you hid your head in Steve’s side, as you felt his arm wrap around you, his other hand still intertwined with yours “It’s alright, I got you” Steve smiled at the interaction. He hated that you were scared, but he had to admit he was enjoying being able to be this close to you. 

“Are we there yet?” you muttered, face covered, trusting Steve to lead you on. 

“I think so” he spoke quietly, instinctively rubbing his hand up and down your arm comfortingly just as a bunch of fog blew out of the wall with a loud woosh making you jump slightly. 

“Just think about after this, we’ll go out, get some food and relax” 

You were silent for a second, none of you had planned on going out after this, so this was Steve inviting you out. You spoke in a low voice “And hot chocolate?” you asked, head still buried against his shoulder. 

He smiled “Yeah, and hot cocoa” 

As you rounded yet another corner, two actors jumped out at once right in front of you, screaming. You let out a sudden short scream before groaning in frustration. Steve only held you tighter before speaking into your ear “I see the exit, we’re almost out” 

Deciding to look up, you sighed in relief as you saw the exit, pulling away from Steve, he smiled as you began to move quickly for the exit, your hand still in his as you pulled him along. 

Nat and Sam, who had exited a few moments earlier, looked towards the exit as you burst through, smiling as they saw you were pulling Steve out by his hand. 

After officially exiting, you pulled your hand from Steve’s, though you regretted it instantly. Bending over you breathed out, trying to calm down, looking up at a familiar voice “See, you made it out fine!”

You glared at Sam before standing up straight “Never again.”

He chuckled lifting his hands up in surrender “Alright, never again!” he looked at Steve “How about you?” 

Steve chuckled “I’d rather not” 

Nat approached, looking at Steve “But you have to admit it had it’s high-points right?” she asked, a familiar mischievous smirk on her face.

Her comment and smirk confirmed for Steve that she definitely left you two alone on purpose, Steve chuckled shaking his head before glancing over at you as you berated Sam for is dumb idea “Yeah, it did” 

Nat smirked as she turned away, walking past you and Sam she called out “I heard there was a haunted hay ride next week” 

Sam perked up “ooh” he looked at you with a smile. 

“No” you said immediately “Definitely not”

Sam laughed as he moved to follow Nat as you all made your way towards the parking lot “Come on, it’s not a haunted house!”

“You’re right, it’s worse!” you replied

Sam called back “What about you Steve? Maybe you can convince Y/n” 

“I don’t know Sam, I prefer scary movies” Steve began to walk beside you. 

Nat called back “Then how about a scary movie night? If you get scared Y/n, you can just hide under some covers, or under Steve” smirk evident in her voice as he spoke, she looked back over her shoulders with a smirk.

You opened your mouth to retaliate but stopped when a hand slipped into yours. Looking over at Steve he smiled at you, squeezing your hand a little as he spoke up “That doesn’t sound too bad to me” 

Staring at him for a moment you smiled hoping he couldn’t tell how flushed you were in the dark evening “No, it doesn’t” you muttered.

“Good!” Sam laughed, not seeing what was happening behind him but getting the gist “Then movie night it is!”

As you continued towards the car, you leaned a little closer to Steve as his hand still held yours tightly. The action acting as a silent confession for both of you.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

If you’d like to be added to a taglist let me know!

Reblogs, Likes and Comments and highly appreciated!! :)

[crystalrose555]

Don’t make me slap you! Pt. 3

Reblog if you want more!!

Leviathan released a heavy sigh as he entered the House of Lamentation. He just wanted to go back to his room and curl up in his tub, playing mobile games till his next raid but now his perfect afternoon was crumbling away with the sound of his resistant ward. He glimpsed over his shoulder as he watched Beel struggle against the slippery Mochi who thrashed back and forth vigorously in his grip. He grunted, his arms slipping against the smooth fur and his appetite rearing its head from the extra effort of the reluctant Mochi. She kept whipping around her head in an attempt to headbutt the irritated Beelzebub but he held her high enough that it was not an option. Thankfully, Lucifer clamped her muzzle shut with a quick hex to avoid any unwanted injury. Lucifer, on the other hand, had refused to release his face from his grasp until they were all in the foyer and Satan closed the front door behind them.

“Ok, Beelzebub, you can put her down now.” He groaned. With a hardy grunt, Mochi was plopped on the smooth tile where she tried to slide away from the demons. However, Beel circled around her and cut off her escape route. Asmo gasped as he looked at Beelzebub. “Oh no, Beel, you’re all scratched up.”

Beel looked nonchalantly at his forearms that were covered in scratches from her sharp claws.

“It’s fine, I had worst from practice. I’m just really hungry.” He frowned while looking at the fidgety Mochi.

“Don’t even think about it, Beel. She’s off-limits, try to eat her and Lucifer will string you up from the chandelier.” Asmo advised as he went to get bandages. Beel pouted to himself as Satan finally addressed Lucifer over their new ordeal.

“This isn’t really happening, is it?” “Unfortunately, it is. This creature is the exchange student for this year.” “Her name is Mochi.” Lucifer gave an unamused glare as Satan painted a smirk on his face. “Anyhow, this must be serious since Diavolo looked depressed when Barbatos insisted that she should stay here instead of the castle.” “Of course, if Mochi stayed there, the paperwork would be even more backed up than before. Regardless, this isn’t a major concern, we just have to prove that this is an ordinary animal.” Satan raised his eyebrow and glanced over to Mochi who was giving Beelzebub the stink eye from her balled up form. 

“Hmm, well, how do you plan on proving it? You can’t exactly give her a pencil and an IQ test.” “I’ll think of something, I’m just too tired to think of anything for now. Just toss her into Levi’s aquarium.” Levi jolted quickly in response. “You can’t put her in there, she’ll eat Henry! Put her in Asmo’s bathroom, there’s enough room in there!” Asmo rushed in with the first aid kit and a fire in his eyes. “Don’t you dare put that stinking beast in my personal haven!” Mammon chuckled underneath his hand and gave Asmo a shrewd glance. “Aww, what happened to the generous Asmodeus? And here I thought I was the selfish one~” He mocked.

Asmo shot him a glare which caused Mammon to turn his head sheepishly.

“Well we can’t put her in Beel’s room for obvious reasons or Mammon’s room since he would most likely try to sell her.” “Hey-” “And my room is out of the question since I have a bunch of valuable and dangerous books. So the only ones left are Levi, Asmo and Lucifer.” The remaining brothers look at each other in nervous anticipation, mostly because Asmo and Levi didn’t have the brass to stare down the irritated Lucifer. While Mammon and Satan snickered at the staring contest, Beel pulled his eyes away from them to see Mochi scooting away from them. He watched for a moment to see her move over to the stair railing and scratch her snout against it. Once that didn’t work, she then scratched her muzzle with her front flipper. After a few swipes, she snorted out air in frustration and looked around for something else. His expression softened before addressing Lucifer.

“Umm, Lucifer?” “Beel, I already told you, you can’t eat her.” “No not that, I think your hex is bothering her.” The quarrel ceased as all of them turned to stare at the frustrated seal. Asmo and Levi’s expressions softened while the others remained neutral.

“Aww, poor thing~” Asmo whined. “Yeah, reminds me of those videos with animals trapped by trash.” Levi frowned. “Hmph, serves her right for trying to bite me!” “Mammon, you called her a dummy after you threatened to sell her as a coat, of course, she would attack you!” “Why are you yelling at me! You also wanted her to be a coat, Asmo!” “I only said that when Beel was going to eat her.” “...You’re really ugly when you’re two-faced.”

Asmo’s horns popped out in pure anger while Mammon’s wings flared up in retaliation. Lucifer took a moment before a sly smile crawled across his face. “Maybe we should turn her into a coat.” He claimed. “Wait what? Lucifer, have you lost it!?” Levi asked. “I mean why not? If push comes to shove, we can just tell Diavolo that she had an unfortunate accident.” “Hmm, all that fat and meat might keep Beel tied over till dinner.” Satan claimed. “And I could sell the fur to Asmo at a premium rate~” Mammon gleamed. Levi and Asmo looked on horrified by the shift attitude of their brothers while Beel looked on in confusion. “Ok, I’m confused-” Beel stopped mid-sentence as he watched his breath escape his mouth in a cloudy fog. Seeing this, each of the brothers noticed their own smoky breaths as the room grew colder. While the others looked around for the source, Satan and Lucifer stared at the cause of the frigid air. Soon all of the brothers were looking at the growling Mochi who sat upon a patch of thin ice, with white puffs being snorted for her nostrils. “Well, well, I call that killing two birds with one stone.” Lucifer smirked. “Hold on, what’s happenin’?” Mammon questioned. “I had a feeling that something was amiss when Mochi slid across the floor of the summoning room. It’s polished but not the point of Beelzebub falling on his own and her speedy escape.” “Not to mention  how she reacted when you, Diavolo and Barbatos were talking about her.” Satan added. Mochi stiffened up as all the brothers’ stare intensified with the idea of being deceived. She squished herself back into a ball as she tried to bare her fangs at the demons, the ice underneath her crawling further from her body. At this point, the brothers were on their toes, their demonic forms flickering in their shadows, preparing for a possible fight. However, a chuckle from their eldest brother disrupted the cold air into a wave of uncertainty. “At ease everyone, it’s like Diavolo said, we should be gentle with our new housemate.” With a wave of his hand, a faint red aura radiated from Mochi’s muzzle and disappeared into the air. She twitched her nose as Mammon gave a look of disbelief to Lucifer. “Is your head cracked!? You just unleashed the beast!” “Don’t be daft, Mammon. It’s clear as day this seal is a familiar. The ice abilities and the ability to understand us is a dead giveaway. Now the question is, will ‘Mochi’ be willing to talk to us?” “How the hell is she suppose to talk, with growls and barking?” Lucifer ignored Mammon’s whining and looked directly to Mochi with a cold smile and even colder eyes.

“Alright, Mochi, I released my hex from you to make it a more even playing field. Answer my question or Beel is going to have a human realm delicacy. Do you understand me, one for yes, two for no.” Seconds felt like minutes as Mochi and Lucifer stared each other down. One had a smile on their face while the other squinted their eyes in disapproval. The brothers watched the two of them, waiting to see which one would break first. Unfortunately, waiting want not Mammon’s strongest skill.

“Well this was a load of bull-” Suddenly, a hard slap filled the foyer causing everyone to whip their head back to the angry seal. Lucifer’s smile grew wider as his superiority began to leak out. “I’m sorry, I need you to repeat that just to make sure that wasn’t a fluke. Answer my question, do you want to be eaten?” Two slaps. “Do you want to be made into a coat?” Two slaps. Lucifer chuckled as Mammon’s mouth hanged open. “Well, welcome to the House of Lamentation, Mochi. I hope we can get along from now on.” Lucifer smirked.

[literaetures]

i was tagged by the always lovely @keiraknightlcygf and i'm tagging: @startingthecase, @jammeke, @brontes, @faslaidir, and anyone who wants to do this tag! 💌

1. Why did you choose your url?

it was years ago when i just switched my major to english in undergrad and i was really excited about it and wanted to get hyped and fall in love with the subject that i cared about on here too and it just stuck ever since! but i'm always thinking about changing it and never taking the plunge....... maybe one day...... one day

2. Any side blogs?

yeah! i have a multifandom blog, a reference blog, and a gradblr and i barely use any of them but they're still there!

3. How long have you been on tumblr?

oof since 2011 and now it's 2021 and i remember making it in like? august? so 10 year anniversary is coming up! and i never thought i'd be in grad school.... still on this site.... but wow the passage of time!

4. Do you have a queue tag?

nope! i tried using my queue a few times but i really just prefer reblogging one or two or a million things at once and then disappearing

5. Why did you start this blog in the first place?

i moved blogs bc a bunch of irl people were following me on my original one and i just didn't feel comfortable reblogging what i wanted to so i moved and i'm always glad i did that!

6. Why did you choose your icon?

it's lizzie bennet from 2005 p&p with the cutest background and i love her your honor i don't think i'll ever change it!

7. Why did you choose your header?

i just reblogged a pretty art piece and i thought "i could make a mobile theme around this color scheme" and then i did which is how my normal thought process for mobile themes goes

8. How many mutuals do you have?

oh no clue— is that something you can track? i know loving mutuals is the Thing now but i just like everyone i follow tbh otherwise i wouldn't follow them

9. How many followers do you have?

more than i'd ever thought would follow me! and i'm eternally grateful and totally shocked every time i look at it! i'm actually about to hit a milestone soon so i'm even more shocked that anyone would want to follow me! thank you all for being here and always being so kind! 💛

10. How many do you follow?

622! i went through and unfollowed a few inactive blogs but i know it's quite a lot lmao i like having a fast dash and i watch a variety of media so i like having new recommendations of things to watch

11. Have you ever made a shitpost?

yeah and none of them are funny but they make me laugh in the moment!

12. How often do you use tumblr a day?

pretty often since it's the only social media i actively go on— any time want to scroll through something i go on here

13. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

i don't think so? i hope not! i really don't like hurting others or being mean or confrontation so i can't think of anything

14. How do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

i really dislike them bc usually those comments are from other people and i feel like they either derail or detract from the op's point or just encourage a passive activism that remains in a performative realm rather than actively researching or wanting find out more about a certain topic or issue

15. Do you like tag games?

i do! i like the thought that someone would tag me and i think they're fun but i'm always bad at doing them bc they tend to disappear from my notes or i just get swamped with work and forget fjsnkfdsjnf

17. Which mutuals do you think are tumblr famous?

ooo no clue there might be some but i genuinely don't care bc if i follow you it's bc i like the things you reblog or post and that's what matters not how popular or "tumblr famous" you are which is why i like that you can't see how many followers someone has it takes a lot of the pressure off of you and you can just enjoy the things you reblog instead!

18. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

all of them i adore you all and wish nothing but good things to happen to you!

[goodomensblog]

Afterward - Part 13

A Good Omens Choose Your Own Adventure Fic

Here’s how it works:

I’ll write a scene.

At the end of each scene, you’ll be presented with 2-3 options for what the characters will choose to do next.

Comment or reblog to vote for your choice. I’ll count all votes after the first 24 hours after each update is posted.

Read: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11, part 12

(Another landslide winner! #2 was the clear favorite. Thank you for voting!)

Afterward - - - Part 13

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“If you want to keep that hand, demon, you’ll release me. Now.”

Crowley, despite very much wanting to keep said hand, does not let go.

When Gabriel reaches over his shoulder, pulling his Heavenly sword from the aether, Crowley twists out of the way. “Woah, woah, woah - hey! Hold on. Just wait.”

“Just wait?” Gabriel snaps, voice dripping with incredulity. “Heaven is under attack, and you want me to just wait?”

“What about Beelzebub?”

“What about them? Maybe - just maybe it’s a bunch of demons who are fighting my angels right now!”

“That thing, whatever it was we felt - that was not demonic, you know it as well as I do.”

“Then what the fuck are my angels fighting?” Gabriel asks, his knuckles going white around the sword pulled halfway into existence. 

From beyond the hall, the cries have grown louder, fiercer - more desperate. There is a static crackling in the air and the acrid, burnt smell of ozone.

Crowley, after risking a glance at the sword, releases Gabriel’s sleeve - and instead, grabs him by the wrist.

“Something,” Crowley hisses, “that was strong enough to bust into Heaven with one blow. Something that I’ve never encountered - and I once traveled all the universe hanging stars. Something that’s, by the sounds of it, carving through ranks of highly trained angelic warriors like butter.”

“That’s why,” Gabriel says, giving his arm a savage yank, “I need to-”

“That’s why you’re gonna want a bloody Lord of Hell in fighting shape!”

At that, Gabriel’s struggles momentarily cease. He blinks, scoffing, “You can’t seriously think-”

“I think that Beelzebub wants to live. And they - like Aziraphale and myself, are currently stuck in Heaven with you, a bunch of angels, and whatever the fuck that thing is. So be smart about this, you giant idiot. Save Beelzebub. Help us find out what they know. And maybe, just maybe we can all use Beelzebub, Lord of Hell, to help us get out of this god damned- er, blessed - augh - whatever! Predicament!” Crowley finishes, chest heaving.

It isn’t exactly a lie. While Crowley is certain Beelzebub, like a cornered cat, will indeed willingly fight whatever this thing is, he is not at all sure how battle ready old Beelzebub will be after just a handful of Hellfire. 

But Gabriel doesn’t need to know that.

White knuckled fingers loosen their hold on the sword’s gleaming hilt. Gabriel sinks back. Running a hand up and over his face, he mutters to himself, and sharp, ugly curses fill the spaces between his breaths. When his eyes open, his razor-edge gaze zeroes in on Crowley’s hand. “Seriously. Stop touching me.”

Crowley’s hand snaps open.

“I won’t abandon my soldiers. Not now. Not when they need me,” Gabriel says, yanking his jacket straight. “So you’ll have to retrieve the Hellfire.”

Crowley, who had realistically expected this conversation to end with one of them flipping the middle finger and the other attempting to administer a beheading, takes a moment to process this development.

“I - wait - you want me to-?”

“Yes. Obviously. Shut up.”

“Right. Okay,” Crowley says, and shakes his head. “Wait, where-”

“Do you remember where the records are stored?”

Crowley pauses at that. 

His memory of Heaven - it’s strange. In many ways, it blurs together, a mural of incandescent colors, textures, half-recalled musical notes, voices - that from up close, are nearly incomprehensible.  

But there are moments of clarity. As if he has, for a second, stepped back a pace, and sees just a glimpse of the full thing; an expansive mural that his mosaic memories press together to create. He knows he hung the stars. And he knows, from some forgotten space in him mind, where in these white marble halls the records are kept.

“Yes,” Crowley says, because he can picture the room in his mind now: those twin pillars on either side of that tall, golden door.

“It’s stored on the highest level, in the silver chest,” Gabriel says, curt.

“Got it,” Crowley says, already retreating - because now that Gabriel has given him the information he needs, Crowley doesn’t want to go and give the archangel a chance to change his mind. 

But Gabriel has already turned away. Black, polished shoes tapping smartly against white marble, the angel strolls down the hall and draws a gleaming sword out of the air.

Crowley is mentally mapping his route. He’ll need to take the first door on the right, then cross the atrium and - 

Gabriel’s shout catches him before he can leave.

“By the way, I’m not an idiot, demon. I do know that a single jar of expired Hellfire’s not exactly going to do any demonic miracles.” Gabriel stands at the end of the hall, violet eyes bright in the half light. “And I know Beelzebub’s not going to help anyone anytime soon.”

Crowley stops, turning fully back.

Gabriel lifts the sword, jabbing the blade in Crowley’s direction. “After all this is done, I will be in touch. I expect Beelzebub to share the information they promised me.”

Crowley stares, baffled. “What are you-”

“No - nuh - shush!” Gabriel snaps, waving the sword. “In my room, there’s a passageway out of Heaven. It’s behind the tapestry. After you heal Beelzebub, take them and go.”

“Ohh-kay,” Crowley says, trying to wrap his mind around this second surprising development. “You - that’s - uh - huh. You know, that’s actually pretty nice of you, Gabriel.”

“Yeah, no - zip it,” Gabriel bites out, shifting with obvious discomfiture. “The last thing I need is anyone finding a couple of demons and a bad angel in my private rooms. Take Beelzebub and get out.” And with a final jab in Crowley’s direction, Gabriel spins the sword with a flourish and disappears into a beam of screaming light.

“What a nutcase,” Crowley says to the empty hallway. 

He crosses the atrium at a sprint, keeping a careful eye out for angels - but the atrium and surrounding halls are empty. Heaven’s full forces have been mustered, then. It’s a sobering thought, and one that makes Crowley run just a little faster. 

 As he runs, he can’t help but think of Uriel and Gabriel’s conversation. God is….missing? Could it possibly be true? Crowley’s head tilts back, as if he might spy Her amongst the arched ceiling tiles stretching forlornly above.

She couldn’t be gone, right?

After all, where would She go?

The entrance to the Hall of Records is as abandoned as the rest of Heaven, and Crowley flings open it’s arched doors. The Records Room is - staggering. Crowley’s step slow as shelves and stairs rise up around him. His footsteps echo - from marble floors, between pillars, up winding stairs, and fading as they rise into the cavernous dome extending far, far above.

Crowley swears softly, and that echoes too.

As his shoe touches the first stair, he thinks of where he wants to be: the top floor; and when he reaches the second step, the domed ceiling is suddenly directly above him - and the top floor, bathed in gold, is before him, as though it had always been.

Crowley doesn’t have time for surprise or awe, so he focuses instead on the chest; which is sitting, unbothered, at the far side of the room. 

He half expects some kind of booby trap, so when the silver lid slides unhesitatingly open, Crowley can’t help but flinch back. 

Nothing happens. 

Brows lifted, Crowley peers tentatively over the chest’s edge. There, at its center, sits a black jar. Sniffing the air, Crowley can just make out the slightest hints of sulfur.

Tensing, he reaches a hand in - and is relieved when his fingers close over the lid of the jar. He draws it out - and breathes a grateful sigh when no traps spring and no alarms blare.

Kneeling before the chest, he cracks the jar’s lid. When roaring heat surges forth, he snaps the lid back.

“Yep, that’s the stuff,” he says, and screws the lid tight.

Crowley takes the stairs at a run. On the first step, he thinks of the ground floor, and on the second step, he steps confidently into - a room stacked with scrolls.

“Huh,” he says, craning his head back to look at rich oak shelves and the layers of pale scrolls artfully piled upon them. “You’re not what I wanted.”

Deciding to try again, Crowley is turning back to the stairs when faded paint catches his eye. 

He stops.

The mural is nearly entirely covered by shelves and scrolls. The visible section is a web of cracked paint and fading colors - a stark contrast to Heaven’s typically immaculate decor. But even faded as it is, Crowley can make out, clear as day, a Bentley - his Bentley, painted in peeling fresco. 

Crowley blinks. Rubs his eyes. Squints, and blinks again.

“That’s....weird.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Rushing back with the Hellfire, Crowley has stumbled upon an impossible oddity in the Hall of Records. When faced with this strange omen, Crowley will…

Investigate. He doesn’t have much time to spare, but he can’t leave without uncovering the other side of this mysterious mural. 

Leave. The mural is strange, but time is of the essence. Crowley can’t risk the detour.

Please comment or reblog to vote! I can’t wait to see what you all choose :)

Part 14

[pogueshomecoming]

Let Me In - JJ Maybank

requested? yes: @pixelated-pogues asked, “OMG, 18 from the “fluff” prompts has my heart You could literally do that one with any character and it’d be so cute” (you’re right this prompt is really cute!! thanks for sending this 🥰 it’s a little short, I’m sorry :( )

description: after a text from your parents that says they won’t be home for your birthday, you’re at home feeling sad and alone when he shows up. With the prompt, “I didn’t get soaked wet through walking to your house for you to say no to pizza. I have beer too. I know you’re sad, so let me in.”

fill out this survey to join my taglist(s), here’s my masterlist, and requests are open

warnings: mentions of sucky parents, crying, I think that’s it?

word count: 1k!

prompt is from this list by @promptedintowriting, and I’m still taking requests from it!

++

The groan that leaves your lips echoes throughout the empty house. It was always empty because your parents seemed to always find somewhere else to be. Business trips, vacations, you name it. They were only here enough days of the month to still be considered your guardians.

You’d actually grown used to it. Your expectations got lower and lower every time, but this time was different, your birthday is tomorrow. All you got for a present was a text from your mom saying they won’t make it home for another week.

It made you feel even more stupid for believing they’d show up, especially over something as small as your birthday. It wasn’t important enough.

A sound that you recognize as your text tone gets your attention. You pick your phone up off of the coffee table, seeing a text from your boyfriend, JJ.

you doing okay? looks like the storm is going to last all night.

Well, at least JJ cared about you. He knew that you hated storms, but you’d actually been so wrapped up in your feelings that you hadn’t been paying it much mind. As if on cue, the thunder rumbles so loud that it makes the walls of your house shake. You roll your eyes. The universe is really out for you today.

yeah, doing fine. parents won’t be home for another week. you guys still working hard?

JJ had other plans tonight, but only because your parents were supposed to get home, and they were supposed to celebrate with you. Usually, he’d spend stormy nights with you anyway to comfort you, but he promised Pope and Heyward that he’d help them out. They needed to tie a bunch of things down and move other things inside so the storm didn’t do too much damage.

yup. we didn’t get it all finished before the rain started, so we’re still working. I love you baby, try to get some rest tonight. big day tomorrow ;)

A shiver runs down your spine as lightning illuminates the living room through the open blinds. You get up to close them all, and you try not to be sad that JJ didn’t offer to come over. He made a commitment to Heyward, though, and what’s worse is that you pushed him to do it. You were so sure your parents would be home tonight that you didn’t think you’d end up alone.

Tears well up in your eyes as you lay down on the couch. You’re almost positive that you’ve made an indention in the spot you’d been sitting in all day. In times like these, you wished your parents had let you get a pet when you asked. Maybe then you wouldn’t feel so alone every time they leave.

You sigh again, letting the tears fall freely, deciding to just wallow in your sadness for a little bit.

A knock on the door startles you, and for a second, you think it was just the thunder, but you hear it again.

Tightening your blanket around your body, you get up to make your way to the door. Once you open it, JJ is standing there. His hair is flattened, dripping water on to his shirt that’s also soaked. He’s got a six-pack under one arm and a soggy pizza box under the other.

“JJ? What are you doing here?” You try to wipe your tears away, but it’s too late, he’s already seen them.

“We usually spend stormy nights together, right? I got my work done, so here I am.” He’s lying, he came because he was worried about you,

“I’m fine, JJ. You didn’t have to come all the way here to check up on me.” You shake your head, starting to close the door.

“Baby, I didn’t. I mean, I did, but I also got my work done, and I didn’t want you to spend the night alone.” JJ tries to defend himself.

“I’m fine with spending the night alone-“

“Okay, well, I’m not. I don’t want to be alone. I didn’t get soaking wet coming to your house for you to say no to pizza. I have beer too. I know you’re sad, so let me in.” He puts one foot over the threshold, so you try to can’t shut the door this time.

You roll your eyes, a small smile plays on your lips as you step aside so he can come in. “I’ll go get you some clothes, so you don’t track water throughout my house.”

JJ grabs your wrist just when you turn your back, pulling you back around to face him. “Not so fast, I’m going to need a kiss first.”

His cute grin is what gets you to give in. The kiss is quick but sweet, and he pulls you back for more fast pecks. You realize he’s kissing your tears away.

“Alright, alright, I get it, JJ.”

“I just like to remind my princess that I love her and care about her. Arrest me if that’s a crime, officer, cause I’m guilty on about a million counts. Maybe more.” JJ teases you, finally earning a laugh out of you. The sweetest sound he thinks he’s ever heard.

You disappear for only a moment, coming back with clothes for him. After he changes, you settle into the couch, making your indent the size of two people instead of one.

“Is it impossible for you to let me wallow? To throw myself a pity party, and pretend I don’t have people to care about me for I don’t know... one second?” You joke, leaning your head onto his shoulder as he chews on his pizza.

“Oh, absolutely. It’s impossible, absurd actually, for you to think I’d do that.” JJ winks at you and kisses the top of your head.

“Well, thank you for coming. I needed it.” You lift your head and take a bite out of the pizza slice in his hand, causing him to gasp.

“No, thank you for letting me in. For a second, I was worried I’d have to sleep on the porch.”

JJ laughs like he’s kidding, but you know, without a doubt, he’s not. He cares about you, and he’ll always show up for you. All you have to do is let him in.

++

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jj maybank taglist: @wlwkie , @jjjmaybank , @shawnssongs , @hopelesswritingxd , @newsiestrash123 , @millie-753 , @thatsonobx , @jjtheangel , @obxkie, @baileysb1tch, @ohbx , @babysbestlife , @psychicforest , @fanficscuziranout , @maebanks , @diverdown06, @pogue-writings , @maybankdreams , @thelocalpogue , @maybe-maybanks , @dpaccione , @teenwaywardasgardian , @extratragic , @pixelated-pogues , @kitluvs1