#instead of lowering my overall stash

[tj-crochets]

Two rows left!!! Time for a lunch break

Almost 2/3s of the way done!

[whompbiscuits]

EMERGENCY COMMISSSIONS bc we are poor and have overdue bills to pay

did not want to make this post but here we are. my wife and I moved to Augusta 3 months ago hoping to find better work opportunities, and it's not going great. we have friends who have given us housing, but our personal bills have gone unpaid for over a month now, and despite finding a job I just do not make enough to pay them. we're working with our bank to get our payments lowered (my credit is now officially shot) but we still owe over $800 in back payments.

I'm not asking for donations (though they are appreciated I won't lie); instead im opening my crochet comms.

i make lace shawls; pics below

they're big; I have 26" wide shoulders and these fall to at least my elbow if not lower. they're made of a cotton/acrylic blend that is easy to care for (machine washable if run on a delicate cycle w cold water in a garment bag; hang or lay flat to dry) and can come in essentially any color variation.

you can choose what colors you want and whether you want the gradient to flow from one point asymmetrically to the opposite edge (the first pic) or evenly out from the center (pics 2 and 3). the actual lace pattern is up to me, because while my lace is simple it is freeform, and I don't follow any specific pattern for my shawls. as a result they're all different and unique, this is part of the charm!

I'm asking $150 per piece; this covers both materials and my time and labor.

i also have to order the yarn I'd need; this yarn isn't the cheapest so I don't have a stash of it at the moment. the shops I order from are very prompt, however, so this won't take too much extra time.

overall turnaround time is 4 weeks from the time I receive the yarn, but it rarely takes me that long.

I'm opening 6 slots

if they all go that'll be enough to get my bills right, which is all I need right now. payment is required before I can order the yarn, but I'll send whatever updates you ask for as I work on your project. if this goes off I'll keep track of my progress on a given project in my pinned post.

if anyone is interested, please dm me and we can go over all the details.

**if you want something bigger, like a poncho or a cape, I can do that! but it'll cost more.**

if you don't want or can't afford a $150 shawl I absolutely understand, reblogs are much appreciated 💜

[aquilamage]

the game: “Kabbu would prefer it never be spoke of again”

me: lol

spoilers for Kali’s sidequest, so mid-ch4 or later, and very vague chapter 5 spoilers in one line

(also imposing my genderfluid leif hc on everyone by picking whatever pronouns to use for a given fic. this time it’s he/they)

“..but I finally chased the whole swarm of ‘em out of town! And that’s how I got this!” The mantis brandished one of her limbs, which had a not-insignificant chunk taken out of the side, to the overall impressed reaction of the small crowd that had gathered around the table.

Before anyone else could, Vi jumped in next. “Oh yeah? Check this out!” She showed off a patch about the size of her palm on her upper forearm, slightly raised and glossier than the rest of it. “So we found this cave with a gigantic midge-”

“I thought that was from when you slipped on a puddle of berry juice and smashed your elbow against the bar,” Doppel called from across the room.

A wave of laughter, followed by a second (and a “Vi!” from Kabbu) when she spun around to make a rude gesture at him.

When the noise died down, she huffed, shook her head, and tapped a little scar on her forehead that just intersected with her right eyebrow. “We were traveling the Sands when we came across a whole pack of bandits…”

Leif watched her talk with a grin, sliding ever so slightly closer and closer, until she got to the part where she knocked out the Burglar. As soon as she paused for breath, they interjected, “And then she missed catching her boomerang and got smacked in the face.”

Again, laughter, especially when she tried to elbow them and they dodged that and the couple follow-up attempts to just turn around and smack them. For a half-second after Leif got out of reach, she went for her beemerang before thinking better of it (the tavern didn’t bother with the hassle of a No Weapons policy but had a very strict No Weapon Use one, which she wasn’t getting in trouble on over a joke).

Instead, she flopped back into her chair.

Next to her, Carmina tapped the surface of the table. “Eh, cheer up, kid.” Ignoring the withering glare Vi gave her, she said, in playfully mocking tones, “What about this one? What fearsome beast did you confront to get that?”

Vi froze when she pointed to her torso, the single clean gash of a scar that went up her left side.

A loud clatter diverted everyone’s attention. Kabbu had collided with Bea, spilling a whole tray of drinks. He swayed for a moment, eyes wide, and then bolted out through the exit.

For a breath, it was silent in the tavern. Then, the murmurs started.

Leif and Vi exchanged a glance. Vi jerked her head at the exit, and he got up to leave. With a heavy sigh, she reached into her stash. “I got it.”

---

It took a distressingly long time to find Kabbu. Leif had started going through the city, asking every bug they saw if they’d noticed him, Vi scouting from the air. They’d finally gotten a trail, and, on the outskirts heading towards the pier, they spotted him on a lower path. Leif conjured a few ice pillars by the riverbank to give Vi something to work with, and then started climbing down.

Kabbu was huddled at the edge of the waterfall’s pool, rocking back and forth. It was painfully reminiscent of his initial response to the...situation.

After leaving Kali’s, he’d been dead silent. Walking in the middle so they could lean weight against him, rigidly tense. Sitting in the corner of the room as the other two of them got patched up (they’d managed to win without attacking Kabbu at all. Every so often, Leif wondered if that had actually made things worse, in the end.) and then again at the inn, staring off away from them, rocking.

“It’s not your fault,” Leif had said, after he and Vi had had a long silent ‘what do we do?!?’ debate.

He stopped rocking, but didn’t say anything, didn’t turn to face them.

“The only reason we weren’t affected was because we’re…” they gestured to their body. It was yet another inescapable reminder that something was wrong with them. What could-

And then Vi had jabbed them sharply and gestured with both hands to Kabbu, frowning.

“Because we’re all weird.”

“Yeah, and it could’ve just as easily been me!” she added, with strained lightness. With no response, she circled around to stand next to him. Staring at the wall as well, she murmured, “I mean, if we’re gonna try and blame any of us, I was the one who actually broke the dumb thing.”

Still, nothing.

She turned and gestured frantically.

With a sigh, Leif reached across the bed. “Kabbu?” They touched his shoulder.

He jerked away from it as if it was painful. After a few heavy, shaky breaths, he said, “I...It’s not either of you, but I wish not to discuss it. I simply need some time.”

They’d shared an uncertain glance, but in the end, agreed.

---

Leif walked up next to him. “Kabbu,” he said, as neutrally as he could.

He started lightly, but quickly resumed his original pose. “I’ll be fine,” he breathed “I just need some time.”

“Mmhmm.” They plopped down unceremoniously. Remembering how he’d been averse to touch last time, they kept themself from leaning into him. For now. “We heard that one before, and it doesn’t seem to have helped.”

He stiffened. “I told you before,” he whispered, “I would prefer to never speak of it again.”

Leif kicked their legs in the water. “Then you should have picked friends who are less stubborn and nosy.” Not that they were entirely sure where to go form here, but they were perfectly willing to sit until that happened. Maybe they’d even get lucky and something would compel Kabbu to talk.

(Considering his track record, they doubted it.)

And, in fact, the two of them were still like that when Vi found them. “Kabbu,” she scolded as she landed on his other side. “What was that for?” Her glare faded quickly, and she sighed. Crossing her arms, she looked down as she spoke. “I wouldn’t have told them about what happened.”

That got him to sit up, whirling around to face her. “Oh, Vi, no, I would never.”

For the absolute briefest of moments, her slouch eased. Then she instantly doubled back down on it, squeezing her eyes shut.

“Vi…” Scooting toward her, he reached out. “May I…?”

With a tiny sigh, she allowed herself to be pulled down and into a hug.

Leif watched the exchange with narrowed eyes. Of all the things that would’ve been bothering Kabbu, that hadn’t even occurred to him. He didn’t doubt Vi would have thought he might, though. But even so, she seemed more upset than Leif would have expected. When she did get upset, she got very particular about physical contact. And yet here she was letting Kabbu practically fold himself around her. Something was up.

He got his answer when she wrapped her arms around Kabbu’s neck, resting her chin on his shoulder. It positioned her perfectly to face Leif. She grinned, and waved, mouthing ‘get over here.’

Ohh. Leif jumped in on the hug, specifically positioning themself to pin Kabbu’s arms down against Vi.

“Wh- Leif!” He struggled for a moment, but they held on tight. “I can’t believe you would manipulate me like this, Vi.”

“I wasn’t planning it. It just kind of happened when you got all upset about me being upset.” She bonked the side of her head lightly against his. “And we wouldn’t have to do this if you would let us help, or something!”

“Indeed. You remember what happened the last time you refused to talk to us about an internal struggle?”

He tensed up entirely. Then, his breath hitched. For a while, he was silent, shaking as he tried to stay composed, to keep it in.

“Leif,” Vi hissed, “What the heck, you can’t just say stuff like that!”

“No,” Kabbu whispered. “Th-they’re right.” He gasped, and then he broke down crying.

At that point, they both loosened their grip. She still gave them a Look, but then shook her head, dropping it. Silently, they adjusted around to hold him more comfortably, settling in to wait.

---

“I know it’s not my fault,” he whispered. “But that’s not the problem.” He sighed. “No; it’s still hard convincing myself not to try and shoulder the blame, but that’s not the biggest part of it. It’s-” He cut off with a gasping breath.

A few minutes later, he picked up again, voice thick and rough. “You were getting hurt...and I couldn’t protect you because I was the one hurting you.” He broke off again, pulling his one hand away from Leif’s grasp to huddle into himself. “I was hurting you, and I could see and hear and feel every moment of it.”  He started to talk faster and faster. “And all I could think was that surely this was enough and she would stop, she had to stop, or else I-”

Leif put a hand over his mouth. “But you didn’t. We’re alright, and we’re safe. All three of us. Now,” they said as they let go, “deep breaths.”

They started modeling it, to give him a rhythm to follow, and after a moment Vi joined in too.

“...You know,” she said, some time later, “it’s pretty arrogant of you to think there was no way we were gonna win. Give us some credit.”

Kabbu stared at her, unreadably still.

With a huff, she looked away from them. “Ugh, there’s a nicer way to put it, but I don’t know what it is.”

“No, I-” Kabbu lifted a hand, paused before he could touch Vi. “May I?”

She took it, and placed it on top of her head.

An exhale of a laugh. “I think I understand. You,” he twisted so he could see Leif and her at the same time, placing his other hand on the side of their face, “both of you, saved me in the end, and if I can remember that…” His gaze went distant for a few seconds. “Well, it...it helps, with some things.”

Leif hummed. “What are the other things?”

He wavered but didn’t break contact with either of them, closing his eyes. “I’m not sure that’s anything that can be helped with.”

“At least let us try. Besides,” he murmured, “it’s good practice telling us when something’s bothering you.”

“...I suppose that’s fair.” He sighed. “The harder part...is the loss of control.” Kabbu paused, dropping his hand from Leif’s face to the fluff around his neck, running his fingers through it a few times. “I- I know it’s not going to just happen again, but it’s hard to convince my body that. Especially when I have dreams about it. Which…” He was quiet for a while, until he continued, almost under his breath, “Which has been happening a lot.”

Vi huffed. “Does that mean we need to sleep right next to you more often?”

His eyes widened, but then he stiffened, retracting his hands to gesture as he talked. “I don’t want to force you-”

“Ugh.” She slapped at his arm. “Yeah, yeah, we can figure that stuff out when it comes up. But...it would help?”

Looking down, he wrung his hands. “It might.”

Leif took the opportunity to drape their head back over his shoulder. “Then we’ll try that. And you have to wake us up. We’d say ‘if it’s bad enough,’ but you haven’t earned deciding that privileges.”

Kabbu hunched in the body-language of a glare (not something he did often, but highly effective when he actually meant it). But then he sighed. “Alright.”

“Then can we go home?” Vi tipped her head all the way back. “I just realized we’re gonna have to move stuff with the beds, and I’m already too tired for that.” A beat, then she looked back at Kabbu. “Uh, if you feel okay for that.”

He nodded.

“Good.” She got to her feet, stretching. “’Cause I don’t think we could actually carry you.”

“Hmm,” Leif said, still leaning on Kabbu. “We should test that.”

“Perhaps not right now,” he said, with his usual tone of concern for this sort of exchange.

For Kabbu’s sake (and because he also didn’t have the energy to try at the moment), Leif conceded.

As they walked, he bumped Kabbu’s side lightly. “Is there anything you’ve found that helps?”

He stared at him for a moment before he picked up that thread of conversation. “If I can make myself move, doing something that I know I’m doing on purpose. The problem there is just that I get frozen, which...feeds into itself.”

“Mm. We’ll remember that, then.”

When they did get home, they collectively spent about five seconds regarding the bunk beds before giving up and piling on the lowest bed (Kabbu’s) with extra blankets. Leif pressed against Kabbu’s front and Vi got on the other side of him so they were back-to-back. He’d tried protesting both of them, but not with much energy, and in the end fell asleep before either of them, easy as if it were any other regular night.

[theworldbrewery]

over our last two sessions, I ran something a little different. Our cleric, Oggie, has a (complicated) relationship with this NPC, Elliot. Elliot is a gay half-elf man whose father is a politician and diplomat; Elliot’s father has decided that since Elliot has a criminal record (he was framed for treason) the best way to ensure he is provided for is to marry him off to another political family, neatly tucking him away where he can’t cause a scandal.

Now, his father isn’t too interested in Elliot’s desire for romance or attraction, so he’s arranged a marriage with a young woman from a prominent elven family. The party quickly decided that this cannot stand. They agreed to attend the wedding in order to prevent it from happening.

Upon arrival at the venue, however, a few key things were going to pop off. First, it turns out Oggie’s estranged family lives in the town. Second, the whole region is deeply haunted and extremely sinister. Third, messing up the bride’s life was a non-option, because when I introduced the character of the bride, a friend of ours came out of the bedroom where I’d stashed them and introduced themself as Gloria, the bride herself (an air genasi monk in a family of elves, another outsider).

this was already clearly a rousing success, but we still had to get through the wedding, and I had to run it in a way that felt dynamic and tense. People go from room to room and building to building, indoors and outdoors and making visits to the village. It’s the day of a wedding!

So I developed a method for running the Day of the Wedding, and I’m sharing it with you for any extended roleplay and intrigue encounters you want to tangle up in plot threads.

First things first: run it like a combat.

What I mean by that is when the party woke up on the day of the wedding, I asked them all to roll for initiative. Instead of a round taking six seconds, each round lasted one hour, enough time for a movement (go to 2 areas near one another or 1 place that’s a bit further away), an action (a primary roleplay scene or investigation), and a bonus action (a conversation with a fellow player character, a quick search of an area, etc.). As the DM, use your discretion to decide what constitutes a suitable bonus action vs action.

Now, unlike combat, this type of encounter should permit player characters to team up and act together. When a PC that is high in initiative order decides to do something, other PCs that rolled lower can opt to join them if they want to act in the same location or engage with the same NPCs. (This is a great option to keep the action moving and lets players work together more.)

In order to keep this situation rolling, I prepared a few key notes. I focused on regional effects; that is, the overall culture and vibe of the area. I decided early on that the region is haunted, and that the locals are suspicious, superstitious, and obsessed with cleanliness. These features are tied into the overall plot conflicts that would develop over time. I also chose to include the effects of the Haunted table from Tasha’s Cauldron to add some spiciness to my haunting. In essence, think of the tensions the NPCs in the region are already experiencing prior to the party getting involved. A recent assassination might make a court intrigue more complicated as they now distrust strangers, for instance, while a new trade war over tariffs can complicate a diplomatic mission.

Next, I considered my locations. In this instance, my locations included the inn where the party slept, various rooms in the manor house hosting the wedding, a handful of outdoor areas, and the chapel. I focused on creating detailed descriptions of the ambiance for each location.

Then, I wrote out a quick description of each major NPC - in this case, the wedding party, the family of the intended, and a few locals and guests. In a roleplay/intrigue scenario like this, it’s vital to include motivations, secrets, and goals for each of these NPCs, even if those goals are very simple. You’ll need them for the last step:

Create a round-by-round timeline. Write out your list of locations and pair them with the NPCs that will be there during each round (hour). In my notes, I added what the NPC was doing there or what they were thinking about--linking their motivation to their location. For example, a character in the garden was leaving an early-morning meeting with her lover, the new gardener, while the fathers of the bride and groom met in the library to discuss the cover-up they had just pulled off (a politician and wedding guest had died mysteriously at midnight, and to keep the wedding from being derailed, they had hidden the body and were intimidating the only witness).

Party members who arrived at each location were therefore entering existing scenes they didn’t have full context for. Each hour, the NPCs would move on to the next phase of their day, seek out other NPCs to interact with, etc. NPCs could still be influenced by the party’s actions, so each round you might adjust exactly what they’re doing or where they’ve gone--the beauty of improv!

Keep in mind that situations should still be developing when the party isn’t witnessing them. An NPC no one had spoken to yet turned out to have spent the morning searching for her missing father, which led the party to the gravesite that they’d spotted earlier in the game, while the gardener turned out to be a villain they’d met before who was acting in secret during the session! Use your best judgment, though. Just because you wrote content for an NPC doesn’t mean the party will engage with it, so follow their lead; sprinkle the clues, and then let the party’s focus drive which storylines get developed.

So long as every NPC has a goal or secret to influence their opinions and decisions, they will feel like nuanced actors within the roleplay scenario; the timeline you lay out in advance gives them a sort of “Artificial Intelligence” that can be influenced by the player’s actions.

Personally, I also recommend setting a natural deadline for the party. If my players didn’t stop the wedding by 1pm, for instance, the ceremony would go forward and they would either be forced to object in public or let the marriage take place. Thus, they only had 5 total “rounds” to disrupt things enough that the wedding would be called off.

You can create similar deadlines depending on the central goal of the party. A vote on whether to pass a controversial law could serve as one for a court intrigue arc, while a crime-solving arc might have a threatened time when a kidnapping victim will be murdered (”You have 24 hours to deliver the ransom”, for example). The sense of a ticking time-bomb gives the players a much-needed urgency. The round-by-round timeline also helps to ensure that you won’t have to continue prepping rounds ad infinitum; instead, you need only prepare up until shit pops off and the deadline is reached.

You may find you won’t reach the deadline, though. In this arc, the party discovered the corpse of a major politician who had died in the night and was secretly buried by the gardener. They used the cover-up as leverage to blackmail the parents of the bride and groom into calling off the marriage, which was helped along by the ranger revealing that Elliot’s father was concealing Elliot’s criminal record to keep the marriage arrangement intact. They managed to prevent the wedding with an hour to spare.

However, as Alice the sorcerer went downstairs to announce the cancellation, she spotted a person who looked just like her weaving through the crowd to leave the manor. She followed, and discovered that she was tracking the semi-villainous NPC who had crossed paths with the party a few times before, disguised as Alice. The NPC, Florian, had been playing the role of the gardener, and blackmailed the bride’s father into giving up a precious family heirloom in exchange for concealing the body; now that the cover-up has been revealed, they’re getting out of Dodge with their prize. This revelation serves as the plot hook for the next dungeon!

[starpollen1998]

Uber Allergic: A Romance - part 1 / ?

I don’t know what it is with me and cars lately.  Maybe because I haven’t driven one in nearly 4 years, or maybe because I had a plot bunny about a hired driver and then couldn’t decide which direction to take it.  So, naturally, I wrote 2 stories. A warning: I have never taken an Uber.  I have used a similar company in the country where I live, so I imagined it would be the same.  Apologies for any mistakes.  Hope you enjoy!

The Ride - Part 1

When I saw him standing on the curb waiting, I couldn’t help but blink. And then swallow hard.  The man was stunning: tall, broad-shouldered, long-limbed, with a perfect jawline and dazzling smile.  His hair was that rare coiff that crested like waves from his head, barely brushing his ears, thick and tawny like a lion. When he dropped into the back seat, I saw his eyes were a stunning shade of blue.

I’ve had attractive men in my car before, sure.  But none quite as mind-blowing as this one.

“Heya, darlin’,” he quipped, firing off a devastating wink at me through the rear view mirror.

“Hi,” I replied, barely able to get that single syllable past the lump in my throat.  I prayed I could focus on the road in front of me and not the Greek-god-incarnate in the back seat.  He was headed across town, a trip that would take us roughly 40 minutes.

We rode in silence for almost a full minute, him tapping away on his cell phone while I gritted my teeth and forced my gaze at the horizon. Occasionally I glanced at the GPS, checking that we were on track.

Then…

“heHH?...”

I couldn’t help it.  My eyes darted up to the rear view mirror.

I watched as Greek-god pinched his nostrils shut, rubbing in hard, tight circles, finishing with a small shake of his head, blue eyes blinking furiously.  Was it my imagination, or did those eyes seem to be getting red?

I kept driving.

Not even a minute later…

“heh-heHH?...”

Once more, my eyes snapped like magnets to the rear view mirror.  My passenger was frozen in classic pre-sneeze expression: eyes squeezed shut, mouth open, lower lip trembling… nostrils flared, the tip of his prominent nose visibly twitching.  His elegant head turned left, then right, and then…

“heght--SHHzzztT!!”

He sneezed - snapping into his elbow at the last second.

“B-... Bless you,” I stammered, sure I was blushing red as a tomato.

But Greek god wasn’t done.

He raised his head, eyes still shut, shoulders bouncing with stuttering hitches.  My eyes were darting between the road ahead and the rear view mirror, terrified that I was either going to rear-end someone … or miss one second of the spectacle in the back seat.  

Then - a red light.

Thank you! I screamed in my mind to whatever higher power was listening.

When I came back to the rear view mirror, his right hand was raised, hovering loosely cupped, nostrils stretching into little round O’s, his upper lip curled back from gleaming white teeth…

“hegt--SCHgtT!!” he snapped down, visibly misting the hand. This time he stayed down, and I could almost see his abs rippling beneath his button-up shirt.  “eegh--SCHHtT… aAH-SCHTch-u!!”

“Bless you,” I barely breathed, glad that this particular red light seemed to be taking a lot longer than usual.

His voice - husky and a little congested - floated up from behind the hand still cupped to his nose.

“... snfll… thanks, darlin’.  … sdrfl…. Don’t suppose you h-have… sdrffl…  any tissues?”

Fumbling, I opened the glove box and pulled out the stack of drive-through napkins I kept stashed away for emergencies.  Usually spilled coffee.  Twisting in my seat, I set the stack on his left knee, fingertips brushing the hard muscles of his thigh.

Peering through the tawny strands of hair that had been knocked loose by the fit, his eyes crinkled with a smile.  “Thanks.”  

An impatient honk made me jump.  Heart pounding, I whipped back around to face the road and eased us forward through the intersection.  His soft chuckle made my ears burn, sure that I was blushing fire-engine red by now.

I heard soft blowing, more wet sniffles, and managed to catch in the mirror when he stretched two KFC napkins between both hands and muffled a wet double: “t’SCHmp--g’SCHHm!”

“Bless you,” I managed, happy when my voice sounded even and calm, even though my hands were gripping the steering wheel hard.

“Darlin’ you don’t… hH!--... have to say that every time… snffl---hHehH!--... l-looks like I m- muhH!-HGK’tSCHHt!... excuse me.  I might be at this a while...”  Taking another napkin from the dwindling stack, he pinched it around his nose and rubbed again in small, fast circles, brows drawing together in concentration.

Grateful for another red light, I stared into the mirror.  My passenger had a fist full of crumpled napkins in one hand, the other pinching and rubbing desperately at increasingly pinkening nostrils.

“Does… this happen often?”

Another husky chuckle, which deteriorated into more hitching breaths and another itchy-sounding sneeze. “hgz’CHHT! … Depends,” he breathed, bringing the knot of used tissues up to dab at his watering eyes.  “Do you have a c-... hHihh!... a cat?”

The Ride - Part 2

 My mouth dropped open, eyes wide.  He saw my expression in the mirror and gave another chuckle.  Swiping a knuckle under his nose, he flashed me a wry grin.  “Well, that explains it.”

 “I’m sorry,” I looked back at him, stricken.

 “Nah, don’t worry about it,” he gave a dismissive shake of his lion’s head.  “You couldn’t know.  heh-GSCHhtu!... And it’s not like there’s a box to tick in the app, or anything. ...snfl…  ‘Driver has pets.’ ...sdrfl … A lot of people do.  Have pets.”

 “I know,” I replied softly, turning the wheel smoothly as we rounded a corner.  “But I can still be sorry that you’re… you know…”  I couldn’t bring myself to say it.  I couldn’t even glance in the mirror.

 But I heard the smile in his voice when he said, “It’s fine.  Really.  It h--hH!  hg’zCHHt!-heh’GZShht!... excuse me.  It happens a lot, actually. snfl.”  

 That did make me glance at the mirror, brows raised in surprise… and interest.  “Really?”

 Greek god had placed the growing pile of used napkins in the seat beside him, frowning down at both his watch and the small stack of napkins still on his leg. The tip of his nose was flushing a tell-tale pink, blue eyes definitely red-rimmed.  He blinked rapidly and sniffled constantly, dabbing at his eyes or wiping at his nose, overall looking the very picture of ‘itchy’ and ‘allergic.’

 “Yeah,” he replied, breath spiraling in preparation for another sneeze… but it left him last-minute, causing him to give a frustrated cough. “I’m allergic to most animals, but you might say I’m… uber allergic to cats.”  Those stunning blue eyes twinkled at me in the mirror, followed by a mischievous wink.

 “Why risk taking an Uber, then?”

 “Well, as cliché as it sounds... my car is in the shop.”

 “Oh?”

 “Yeah, snffll, I got a… hH!--... a recall letter.  Better safe tha-… heh-GSCHt--ahh-GSCHu!... ugh. Apologies.”

 We chatted a little more during the ride, about his job as an IT consultant and my 3 jobs: kindergarten teacher, waitress at Olive Garden, and Uber driver.  By the time we reached his destination I had counted no less than 56 sneezes, nearly always he followed up with ‘excuse me,’ or some other polite apologetic. He had used my entire stash of emergency napkins, and his handsome face was a bleary, blotchy wreck: nose red, eyes puffy, voice croaky and thick with congestion.

 “I’m sorry, again,” I said when we stopped at the curb in front of his building. 

 “Add - agaid - you dod’t have adythig to be sorry for,” he rasped, palming the pile of used tissues and reaching for a few that had fallen to the floor.

 “Oh, I can do that,” I got out in a rush.  “You don’t have to--”

 “Oh, doh,” he chuckled, voice breaking on the second word like a prepubescent.  “I cad take by owd dirty tissues, darlid’.”  Glancing up, he gave me a soft smile.  “You’ve beed padiedt edough about all this.”  Maybe I imagined it, but it looked like he blushed just a little.

 “Well it’s my fault,” I insisted.  

 He opened his mouth to reply, but instead turned and gave a tired-sounding sneeze into his elbow. “H’eISCHt!... gkm, pardod.”

 “Bless you,” I murmured. 

 “You dow, sdrfl, I usually dod’t like it whed people say that…”

 “I’m sor--”

 “But sobehow whed you do,” he glanced back, swiping a knuckle under his nose and giving that same, soft smile.   “I dod’t mide.”

 He exited, leaving me staring after him with a mixture of warmth and confusion.  Definitely one of the most… unusual... rides I’d ever had. 

 Throwing the lever into park, I got out to do my usual check of the interior in case the passenger had left something behind. A flash of white tucked by the seatbelt latch caught my eye.  Thinking Greek god must have missed one of the used napkin wads, I reached for it. 

 And pulled out a business card.

 “C. B. Decker - Sunfire Technology”

 I turned it over.

 “Thanks for the ride...  Have dinner with me sometime?”   

I pulled my head out of the car, staring over my shoulder at his building.  I wasn’t sure, but it looked like someone was standing just inside the glazed doors, watching.  Turning back to the card in my hand, I bit my lip.  It was a violation of my Uber contract if I said yes.  

 But.

 That guy...

 Aw, hell.  I could get by without the income.  Probably.  

Maybe.

 I looked back at the building, and was now sure I could make out his tall silhouette, tawny mane just a bit disheveled.  The figure suddenly bent forward, and I knew. 

 I kept my eyes on the building as I made a show of putting the card into my pocket.  It wasn’t a no.  But it wasn’t a yes.  

 Not yet. 

 As I drove home for the night, my imagination spun out as I deliberated whether or not to accept.  One, he knew I had a cat, was apparently ‘uber’ allergic... and wanted to see me again, anyway.  Two, I had been getting tired of driving 30 hours a week, and maybe I could arrange to suspend my contract.  Or I could quit, and then get rehired if things didn’t work out… or, if they did... 

 I crawled into bed, reaching up to stroke Sheba where she always slept on the second pillow. She made a little mew, flipping her head upside down and curling tighter into a furry ball. 

 As I drifted off to sleep, his delicious sneezes echoed in my dreams…

[tea-toast]

Echoylir Ch.1 - The Mechanic

Summary: A new planet, a new bounty.

Words: 2.7k

Notes: just bullshitting my way through a hypothetical post Season 2 episode. Hope it’s liked despite not being a reader insert.

Warnings: references to canon-typical violence

AO3

……………

Steel-toothed termites had been chewing on Telseraal’s barren soil, almost to its lava and flame core for decades, eagerly eroding its crust to prick deep metal veins or scratch precious stones in their wake. Miners’ greed, snouting under the surface with their sharp drills in search of infamous Aurodium or even Chromium clusters because they’ve been hearing about it, despite no reliable source or findings of such valuable metals underneath their feet.

This was what had brought Telseraal to its capitulation, legends that had swelled with detail after being passed from mouth to mouth, from ear to ear attracting prospectors, miners, scoundrels and swindlers, desperate people lured by the illusion of richness. Decades of drilling, digging tunnels like feverish ants; smashing stones with blunt pickaxes, fingernails bleeding, hands blistering, faces blackening and lungs frying with dust and soot as even the Mining Collective took an interest in the riches. Scattering away anybody who would question their methodology, imposing their supremacy on the mines through blaster rifles and fear. Some sort of rapacity had sunk its talons within all these souls, narrowed all these minds to one thought, one desire.

Meanwhile, another type of infestation had begun spreading all around the ever deeper and larger holes littering Telseraal. Hot furnaces, sparks and screeching, casting of metal upon the desolate surface, from makeshift beds to shiny sharp constructions facing the abyss. A dusty dome covering the sky above mining cities, puffing out from the hellhole awaiting deep down in the bowel of this cursed planet. Heavy and massive bastions of greed and sin and abuse, they stood. Throbbing horribly, parasites clinging, sucking their fill as the planet around it thinned, split by sores, wounds large enough to be seen from the cold outer space as ships entered the atmosphere and descended into this clanging sooty Hell.

He could see small particles dancing all around as he initiated the landing sequence. Small fake fireflies not dispensing light, but rather a somewhat irritating reddish fog. Some had even managed to get into the cockpit, probably from the ventilation system. Now, that was a hassle he would rather not address, the courtesy ship Peli had given him was already a leaky wreak without a dust malfunction needed.

A heavy sigh heaved from his chest, a little air escaping from under the rim of his helmet and starting the particles in yet another dance. With a curt head movement, his visor curved towards the onboard radar to fix on the dot lazily flashing on it, showing him the way to his assigned hanger. His glove slowly lifted to move towards one of the levers, the shape of it still unknown around his fingers despite it being quite some time since he got the ship. Of course, he could have picked up the credits to buy one, but at the same time, he preferred to keep a certain distance from the concept of “owning” a ship after what happened to the Crest. At least for some time, he had told himself, till the searing sadness and tiredness still creeping under his beskar would rear their ugly heads, burying themselves deep within his soul.

That was why he had returned to taking jobs, for money of course but also for the distraction.

Maker only knew how much distraction he needed. He still would try pushing buttons his current ship did not have, searching for a lever this model did not own.

Out of sheer habit.

And out of sheer habit, maybe even desperate hope he would sometimes still turn around on his right, thinking to find a second seat. Hoping to find it taken.

Little green feet poking out of his onesie, while bright eyes were focused on his favourite shiny toy as he made it levitate over his tiny hands. No more coos, or squeaks or needy gurgling because he was hungry. No more big green pointy ears peaking up and high-pitched contented babbles as he called him by his name.

There was no second seat on his right, and no kid to sit on it.

The durasteel ball now carefully stashed in the recesses of one of his pockets, under his armour. Like a relic, a precious treasure, a spherical box of memories he had been holding onto. To be cradle only by him between his fingers as he wished to be able to cradle the very child he was missing so much, feeling his comforting weight on his hip, his tiny claws brushing his glove in a familiar gesture of comfort.

Wiser than a child, frailer than a fifty-year-old, his ad’ika.

The now missing member of his clan of two.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The white gleam of the hangar brought him out of his thoughts. A rush of statics in his comms directing him towards his designated landing station as the ship lowered down with groans and stutters.

Despite his dexterous wrist on the level, the jolt the ship gave as it touched the ground made him jerk in his seat and curse under his breath. His lungs filled up with air once more, to be then exhaled in what could have both sounded like a long-suffering sigh or maybe a way to relax the nerves creeping below his skin. Nimble fingers pushing buttons and switching everything off, before standing up from the pilot seat. His back and joints and knees popping loudly under the beskar, the echo of it swallowed up by his heavy footing leaving the cockpit to get his weapons.

With his reluctance to get his own ship, some of his habits had changed, even in the artillery department, far lighter and with less hoarding and cataloguing, what sufficed to take care of the business he was there for and to not have his ass being handled. The rest he had been able to gather was stashed away in a locker at Peli’s.

With his jet-pack on his shoulders and his trusty blaster secured in its holster on his right hip, he went looking for the ramp handle. He had to flex his arm and grip the lever tightly to get the rusty mechanism in motion and the ramp to lower with a racket of grating and metallic rasping. A reddish-hued light slowly shedding a beacon within the cramped interior of the vessel, as dust and soot crept inside slipping into whatever crack and cranny they could find.

The ramp came halfway down when it jammed with a loud thud, worn joints refused to slip and gears got stuck in their rotations. His shoulders stiffened under the pauldrons of his armour as he proceeded to pull the ramp lever a second time. The ramp lifted slightly and then fell back halfway with a lurk that shook the whole ship and nearly knocked him off balance.

"Dank farrik!" he cursed under his breath, gloved fingers rolling into fists. He wanted so badly to kick one of the ramp joints until it lowered properly, just to let off some of the steam that has been dangerously teetering beneath his skin. Despite his destructive eagerness, he thought against it. Instead, his boots carried him to the plane edge and with a poised leap, he stepped off the ship.

Panels, fried C-boards, scraps and rusted components littered the dusty ground while a strong smell of oil slithered past the helmet rim to hit his nostrils. The hangar was nothing like Peli's and less equipped than expected. Far less equipped than a proper hangar or mechanic post would have been.

And quiet.

The hair at the base of his neck stood up under his neck seal, his senses sharpened even more than they already were.

He didn't like the place at all.

Right hand readily close to his holster, electricity running through his fingertips, he glanced around, tried to spot any source of danger. Attempting to make as little noise as possible, he took a couple of steps, the soles of his boots creaking on the dusty ground.

The sudden whirring noise on the left reached his ear, blaster whipped out as quick as a viper striking. Firm grip and index finger stroking the trigger as his focus zoned in on what had caused that noise.

A beaten up WED Treadwell repair droid wheeled in from a corner, its various tool-tipped appendages dangling around it as long metallic spidery legs. His aim remained focused on the droid, and he barely unacknowledged the footsteps following its buzzing.

“Whoa, hey!”

Only at that did his attention shoot towards the direction of the voice, his blaster only slightly lowered down.

Standing there was someone a whole head shorter than him wearing baggy overalls.

“Uhm, hello there.” she greeted at a safe distance, raising her hands a bit to show that she was not armed, “I’d much appreciate if you’d stop aiming at my Treadwell. Y’know, it’s fragile and it’d be difficult to get my hands on a decent replacement here.”

Despite the rush of adrenaline still thrumming under his skin, he did comply. His arm lowered and his blaster got stashed away, T visor now trained on the rather human-looking woman in front of him.

She didn’t sound as he expected, she did not possess the sardonic tone he had come to expect of a mechanic. Instead, she seemed mellow and only a little bit on edge due to potential property damage and armed stranger in her hangar. She had a hint of an accent he couldn't properly place. Dark eyes studied him, probably to be sure he would not lash out again as she approached. “I got other droids back there, are you gonna greet them as you did with Treadwell? Just to know.” She did not sound accusing, rather she seemed to be trying to lift the mood after the tension

“Sorry.” he gruffed through his vocoder, his threatening aura slowly fading into awkwardness, “Not fond of droids.”

She replied with a “uhm” sound as she eventually made up her mind he was a threat no more and step towards his ship with a more secure gait. “Then droids will have no business regarding your ship, Mandalorian.” she quipped, gazing over the vessel and its rather desolate appearance.

“Thanks.” he rasped while watching her walking over to the half-lowered ramp and after a cursory glance resting her elbow and arm on the plane edge as she turned to look at him.

“So,” her demeanour now quite open, “how may I serve you?” the shadow of a smile morphed on her mouth, rounding her cheeks out for a second.

He rolled his shoulders and pointed at the ship with a tilt of his helmet, “Need whatever you can do to make this thing fly back home without falling apart.”

Her eyes followed his head movement, but went back looking at him shortly afterwards, “Home being where?”

He could feel her attentive glance scanning him, studying him and maybe trying to understand what was his deal. He planted his feet a little more firmly on the ground and instinctively squared up. It looked like she could tell he was getting defensive, her barely-there smile did not falter and she shrugged, “Just to tell you if you’re better off without it from the start.”

Begrudgingly, he had to admit to himself she had a point asking. She was a mechanic after all.

“Tatooine.” clipped his baritone from under the helmet.

“Ah, I see. I might be able to patch it up,” was her reply as she took out a diagnostic device from her overalls belt and aimed it at the metal surface of the ship. “Somehow,” she mumbled shortly after, looking to the rather poor screen readings.

“Do whatever you can.” he fished some credits from under his armour and extended his arm toward her, “Do these cover me?”

She took the handed credits and gave them a casual count before nodding, “Yeah, it should.” She squinted her eyes as the sun crept in from the hangar’s upper opening and bounced on his shiny chest plate.

“Good.” he wasted no time saying, “I need to get to Jantoo. How far is it?”

“Uhm, by foot?” she hummed as she pocked the credits and hanged her device to her belt, eyebrows raised high on her forehead.

“Yes.”

“Jantoo’s not that far from here, but I don’t recommend venturing by foot,” she huffed while passing him and rearranging some flying strands of dark hair in the low bun pawing at her neck, “it’s quite the rough route. Even for a Mandalorian.”

“Is it?” he inquired then, hands on his hips and a half-amused half huffy edge in his sigh.

“Mark my word.” she nodded while giving him her back and busing herself with a mechanic kit. She rummaged around, clanging of metal resonating within the hangar walls.

He was about to just leave and getting in motion to get to Jantoo as quickly as possible despite her warnings when she peeped in again, “You can use my old speeder if you want,” and she pointed at the outline in the far corner of the hangar, “Faster and safer than by foot. Beskar and muscle may not be enough outside in the dust bowls.” Grabbing her tools and spinning around on her soles, she sprinted back to the ship.

Under his watchful gaze, she diligently placed the kit on the half-lowered ramp and then hoisted herself up with a low grunt. Her hands grabbing and stashing screwdrivers, scanners, mechtorches in her overalls pockets, a flashlight with a strap secured to her forehead. She switched the light on and off a couple of times. “Good,” she chirped, “batteries have not oxidised for once.”

While she was strapping in to get to work on that wreck of a vessel, he was considering her offer. That was pretty on-brand for planets he had visited. The only thing holding him back from accepting without complaint was the thought of what happened to Peli’s speeder last time. He didn't want to deprive someone of a means of transportation, especially knowing that he might not return it whole to them.

He had yet to realise, this entire consideration had been going on in his head while in the meantime he had been silent while staring at the mechanic scrambling around inside his ship. He noticed her giving him a pointed look from behind her shoulder as she was touching around to find the control panel in charge of the ramp mechanism.

“How much would that cost me?” he eventually inquired, hand already searching his pocket.

She made a face at that, “What, do you think I’d charge you for that piece of junk?” She was met with silence, his visor not moving from her.

An incredulous chuckle bubbled up from her chest, “Put those credits away, Mandalorian. I’m not charging you more, I’m not a leech.”

His pocket rummaging stopped at that. Well, at least she did not look like being attached to it...

“Here,” a good-natured sigh, fingers digging in one of the small pouches on her chest, her feet carried her to the ramp edge and her arm stretched toward him, an old rusty ignition key in her hand.

He glanced at it for a split of a second, before taking it between his gloved thumb and forefinger, “Thanks.” he gave a short nod.

She reciprocated his head movement, “Have a nice trip.” and she then stepped back into the ship shadows.

His helmet lowered to give the key in his hand another look, already turning around to go get the speeder bike when her voice broke the silence yet again, halting him in his tracks.

“Oh by the way,” her head poked out from the ship guts, “name’s Trisso. Nice to meet you.” and she flashed him her ever-present smile before retreating once again.

A grin tickled the edge of his mouth under the helmet at her laid back behaviour and the fact that they both almost forgot introductions, but soon he could feel his shoulders tensing up, and he deeply sighed once more. He had a job to do. Business to take care of.

Key in hand, he fully pivoted around and walked toward the damn dusty speeder in the corner.

[writerfangirlbooks]

Demon in Love

Crowley x Reader

Prompt: Crowley meeting Dean and Sam's sister for the first time and falling in love at first sight and the two of you go on a date. Part 2!

Word Count: about 2250 words. 

Credit to gif owner!

"Would you do me the honor of accompanying me to dinner tomorrow night?" Crowley asked calmly.

Your brothers had never changed moods as quickly as they had at that moment, even when hunting. They went from happily losing video games to holding their remotes threateningly, with much more seriousness. Their bodies tensed and your brothers lost the playful gleam in their eyes.

Dean appeared to have frozen in time whereas Sam barely managed to stutter out a, "What?". You glanced at Crowley's reaction, surprised to see how calm he was, smug even.

Dean finally stepped forward, pissed. "Absolutely fricking not!" Dean ordered.

Your oldest brother's reaction had you thinking rapidly in different directions. There was some form of attraction, sure. Crowley was definitely handsome, but you legit did know nothing more than his name. The more important thing you noted was that your brothers didn't seem to care that Crowley was in the Bunker. His presence was nothing short of an everyday occurrence. That was, at least, until he asked out their little sister.

Sure, your brothers were family and you always protected each other. But sometimes the three of you entered serious pranking wars with one another and what could tick them off more than you going on a date with this mystery man? Not much, you imagined... Except for maybe a ball pit or hacking their playlists.

"What's the harm?" You asked and shrugged with a small smile on your lips. You turned to face Crowley to see him match your expression.

"Pick me up at seven," you requested. You began to move past him into the hall, much to your brother's bewildered objections. Crowley stopped you, placing a hand on your arm. His eyes seemed warm and amused as you looked at him. You worked to convince yourself that there was no way he could actually see into your soul and there was also no reason for your heart to be pounding so loudly in your head.

"Five, actually," Crowley corrected, before letting you go. With a wink and a snap of his fingers, he disappeared much to your surprise.

You stopped in the middle of the doorway, where you felt like skipping to your room, until the man before you just poofed himself away. You paused a few times before trying to start a few questioning sentences about how the heck that just happened, not even processing you had your first date in a long time coming in just a day. Taking a breath, you prepared the following sentence.

"Okay, bros. So, um. First, I would like you to know that you are not going to convince me not to do this. Next, I would like a small debriefing on who Crowley is and how he just Apparated himself out of here like Harry Potter. And go!" You jokingly directed, propping yourself against the doorframe.

Your brothers deadpanned. They looked at each other with dumbstruck faces before turning back to you. Dean began to look more pissed off with each passing second and while Sam didn't seem any more excited, he appeared more amused. The taller brother noticed the stormy look Dean was wearing and spoke up.

"Why don't you uh, go grab us some beers or something while we talk, then we'll tell you, alright?" Sam asked quickly.

Dean's eyes darkened before he dramatically turned away, threw himself onto one of their chairs, and began messing with the tv screen. You began to object that there was beer in Dean's secret stash in the lower cabinet in this very room, but a raised eyebrow made you change your mind and you headed down to the kitchen.

Once you returned, you saw the boys sitting quietly. Sam jumped up when he saw you and smiled, taking the bottles from you. You took the spinny chair that had been discarded to the side of the room and sat in it, feeling much closer to your brothers' height. Dean ran a hand through his hair and finally looked up, slightly calmer.

"Alrighty! Prep me. What should I know for my date?" You smiled cheerfully, hoping to lift their moods while still tormenting them.

"Please stop calling it that. You know how easy it would be for us to lock you in your room so you never see the light of day again, Y/N? You're damn lucky I'm even considering this utter bullcrap. I don't even want to begin to think about what could possibly happen to you," Dean complained.

You were surprised by his burst of concern for you, though it wasn't enough for you to cease pressing the matter. He took a large swig of his beer, seeming ready to empty the bottle. Sam had yet to open his, mostly just letting the cold drink switch from hand to hand as he contemplated the matter at hand.

"Y/N," Sam began hesitantly.

You interjected. "Come on, I'm not like you guys. It's not like I'm going to do more than kiss and tell on a first date. And you guys seemed comfortable with him in this place anyways. If he's a hunter, what's the worst that could happen?"

"Y/N," Sam warned.

Dean nearly jumped out of his seat. "What's the worst that could happen? Don't be a moron, youngin. Don't even get me started on kissing him, but more? I'd kill him. I'd kill you. Not happening. Not even a thought. Not what I was thinking, because it's not a thought! He could hurt you and I won't let that happen and neither will Sam. You don't think there's a reason you have never met him before, Y/N? Maybe because he would see this as an opportunity. Sure, he's befriended us for now and we help each other out, more or less. But don't think Sam and I have let our guards down for a second. This could be his chance to hurt us, to gain an upper hand."

His face and voice were so serious and intense, you were inclined to believe him. But regardless, was it not worth a shot? Sam sighed and pushed his long hair behind his ear, also somewhat stressed.

He said, "I understand Dean's concern and frankly, I support it too. This 'date' is a horrible idea. You don't know what you would be getting yourself into."

"That's because you haven't told me!" You shot back.

"Can't you just trust that we have your best interests at heart?" Sam pleaded. Dean groaned and after another bro-eye contact understanding, they sighed and looked at you earnestly. "Crowley... He's a demon. The king of Hell, specifically... And he recently went through this phase of experiencing human emotions, but please, don't let that influence your decision. No matter what, I'm sure whatever motives he possesses can't be good."

You felt like leaning back in the chair but would have fallen off. You settled for a dizzy effect instead, processing this strange information. Unfortunately for your brothers, this did not change your mind on going through with the date. After all, wouldn't it have been worse to not go through with it at all then be rude to a king and cancel?

-

You traded between anxious and excited leading up to the date. It was earlier than anything you were used to, so you began to prepare by afternoon. Dean made positive that you had all the weapons you could fit in your purse, barely leaving room for your wallet, phone, and lip balm. You felt proud of your outfit, even if it was a bit more risque than what you would normally wear on a night out. That was probably because you spent the most time with your brothers. Another thing that was reassuring was your ability to run in heels though you hoped you wouldn't need to, especially since your loose dress could end up Marilyn Monroe style in the wind.

There was a knock at your door. You nearly tripped on your way to answer it, your purse swinging behind you. To your disappointment, it was only your brothers. You sighed and allowed them in. They weren't in your bedroom often and it was probably the most personalized room in the whole place, filled with pictures, color, and clothes everywhere.

"Don't look so disappointed," Dean grumbled. They walked in, scanning for any sign of Crowley, as it was just minutes before five in the evening. Sam begin to list off the weapons they had given you to store earlier, confirming their location. You nodded along, your eyes focusing more on the hallway. "Any way we can talk you out of it now?"

You heard footsteps at the end of the hall and the new voice that belonged to Crowley call out. You bit back your smile for the sake of your brothers' sanity. "Nope. Sorry, boys. This is happening. Don't wait up for me!"

And with that, you left them there.

You met Crowley in the hallway, similar to the location from yesterday. Soon, the pair of you were strolling on the sidewalk outside, leading on the long walk to the streets, where you were informed a car would be waiting. The conversation started off light, with a compliment to your outfit and overall appearance.

You were not let down with the expectation of a confident king. He was ever so the gentlemen, opening doors, and being polite. It surprised you when he spoke with some hesitancy, showing the possibility of being nervous.

A half hour later, you and Crowley were sitting in some fancy restaurant. He sat across from you, facing the door. The waiter appeared anxious as he asked for your drink order. You didn't get the chance to speak. Crowley took charge, ordering some expensive wine you had never heard of. He gave an apologetic smile after the waiter left.

"I'm certain you will love the drink," he commented.

You were tired of the small talk. He was charming, handsome, and well, a king. But you needed more substance in the conversation to have a real date, and to find new ways to annoy your brothers.

"I suppose we'll see, though I typically prefer ordering for myself," you said. You glanced around nonchalantly, taking in the high ceiling and dark theme. You weren't avoiding eye contact by any means.

Crowley nodded. His dark eyes remained unwavering. You turned back to him as he spoke.

"I would be honored to make it up to you, doubled even if you dislike the wine, though I don't know if that's possible. Tell me what is on your mind," requested Crowley.

A smile teased its' way onto your face. "I think that can be arranged. Mostly, I want to know about you. After all, it's not often a stranger associated with my brothers asks me out."

"I take it they told you about me?" Crowley asked. His head leaned back slightly as his dark eyes continued to stare you down.

The wine appeared. The waiter poured you both glasses. Menu! You hadn't thought to look at the menu, so focused on creating conversation with the intriguing man before you. You requested an extra minute to ponder and took a sip. It was immaculate. The best you had ever tasted. You dreaded giving too much power to Crowley this soon, so you kept your expression neutral, with nothing but an eyebrow raise and a lick of your lips. 

"To answer your first question, some. As much as my brothers and I deal with, I never expected to cross paths with angels and now, the King of Hell. You have the element of surprise on your side, I'll give you that. And for the wine... I suppose I will continue to test it by allowing you to order the main course as well." 

Crowley smiled, impressed. He enjoyed his drink and picked up the menu, briefly scanning before glancing to you. It was impossible to know what he was thinking and that was all the more entrancing. He was well dressed, confident, and relaxed. Maybe it was the charming demon in him, but you felt no threat. 

Your motives were wish-washy on their own. You craved the simplicity of a real date and that was beautifully presented before you. You had the intention of making your brothers annoyed by going out with someone they weren't fond of, and you were certain this would work. But there was something else, something you couldn't quite place your finger on. 

It was the look in Crowley's eyes. He wasn't gazing at you like you were a prize won or some silly girl, like others in the supernatural world often did. You didn't even get the feeling he was doing this to pester your brothers. Sure, asking you out in front of them had to be enjoyable, but it was just the two of you now. And he was smiling, calm, and even a bit easygoing, despite showing nervous ticks. 

So what was it, you wondered. 

Crowley drew your attention back to him after ordering your meal. "I'm glad you like the wine. I can't imagine why they would hide someone as beautiful and kind as you from me for so long. It was a surprise to me as well." 

He paused. "After dinner, would you accompany me on a stroll? I believe the sun will be setting by then and I know a great view." 

Maybe this date was a good idea.

[palettepainter]

Part 1 of the MHA NG bios! DO NOT REPOST/EDIT/COPY/TRACE MY ART OR OC’S!!! All of these guys (besides the one of the top left) are in class 1A, these are my NG’s to some of the characters in the show so bare in mind in this NGAU they’re all grown up and are pursuing jobs as hero’s or other. How did Aizawa and Mic have a child?? WITH A SPECIAL QUIRK! These characters live in a world FULL of people with powers, pretty sure there’d be one quirk that would allow two men or two women to have a biological child - also NO neither Aizawa and Mic carried her for the pregnancy. They had miss Joke carry their child, but she is in no way related to her. Kanpekina Aizawa (Meaning: Princess, daughter you Mic X Aizawa) Quirk - erasure and voice Kanpekina is a scruffy little ball of moodiness and bluntness, she has inherited Aizawa’s resting bitch face and tendency to be straight to the point on most subjects. She’s not really good at making friends so she spends most of her time alone, unlike Mic she isn’t as social as he is so she tends to shy away at socialising or hiding behind him. She’s a hardcore lover and video games and music, and despite her quite nature she can be very passionate and talkative when she’s discussing the things she enjoys (she detests her name, Mic chose it cuz he won a bet with Aizawa, if it was a girl he’d get to name her) Furōra Woods (means Flora in English, daughter to Kumai Woods X MT Lady) Quirk - Abore Furōra is a calm, propper and polite young lady, and is also one of the class reps. She’s a bit of a worrier and is the typical mum friend amongst her classmates. She gets along with most of her classmates but does tend to become more irritated if things aren’t going to how she planned. Her secret passion is ready sappy romance novels and slightly more adult themes novels her mother recommends, she probably has a whole stash of sappy romance novels hidden under her bed. Senshi Kirishima (Means warrior in English, son to Mina x Kirishima) Quirk: Acid + hardening (he can create acid and harden it to make shields or weapons, however if he tries to make a sword from his acid, it’ll just take the shape of a sword, it won’t look like a real one) Senshi is just as energetic and spunky as his parents but no where near as competitive, he takes more after his mother in the sense he focuses more on having a good time, he’s kind of a goof most days which makes it easy for others to talk to him. He likes to experiment with his hair and try different styles, it’s naturally scruffy, so he wears a bandana round his forehead to keep it out of his face. Kita Kaminari (name may change since I couldn’t think of one I liked for him, son to Jirou X Kaminari) Quirk: Earphone Jack + Electrification (he can blast his heart beat at a loud volume like Jirou, and can also use his earphones hanging from his ear lobes to take electricity from appliances, he can then shoot that electricity through his fingers) Kita is the cool kid of the class, he’s got a degree in sarcasm and smugness streak a mile long. He’s overall pretty chill but hard working towards things he enjoys, it’s very hard to shake his confidence, so he sometimes accidentally ends up sounding full of himself. Due to his parents he’s for a wee bit of a potty mouth, which can tend to get him into trouble. He loves playing guitar and drums! Due to his laid back attitude most people in his class come to him to vent off their worries, he’s a good listener and actually offers pretty solid advice. Runa Tokoyami (Means Luna in English, daughter to Tokoyami x Asui) Quirk: dark shadow (similar to her father but instead of having dark shadow leave her body, it’s more like a voice in her head that offers her guidance in a fight. Instead she takes on features of a bird when using her powers, such as having feathers spawn in her hair and have her arms turn into wings) Runa is smart and intelligent, she finds comfort in the world of books and most enjoys reading more dark stories with more adult themes. She’s been raised well by both of her parents, she is very loyal to close friends and family (to the point she sometimes tends to put others needs before her own), she physically cannot lie. It’s an impossibility for her. She’s a prefect mix of sociable and preferring time alone, she’s good at holding conversations with close friends but sometimes struggles to speak with new people. Her hobbies include star gazing, gothic fashion and, art and poetry Taishiro Toyomitsu Junior (Son to FatGum X Kumo (my OC)) Quirk: Spider + Fat absorption (Like his mother he has the abilities of a spider (just think of spider man, his powers are like his), but like FatGum he can also absorb a certain amount of attacks thrown at him and then use that energy to make his own attacks stronger) Taishiro junior, or called TJ by most, is a lot less driven then both his parents and isn’t very enthusiastic about living up to the expectations out upon him at birth by being the son to a well loved hero. His strength lies in tests and research, he’d much rather prefer to learn from a book then physical experience. He’s pretty socially awkward since he isn’t good at telling who genuinely wants to be his friend, and who just wants to be friends with him due to him being the son to a famous hero. He doesn’t strive to be number one like many of his other classmates, and is way more happy settling for a lower rank in the spotlight - as long as he makes his parents happy and that he is happy Rekkei Toyomitsu (adopted son to FatGum x Kumo, biological dad is Rappa) Quirk: Strong arm Rekkei is a troubled youth, he is reckless at times and does enjoy a good fight, but unlike Rappa he doesn’t just blindly go into a fight without a plan, he has a moral compass which he more or less knows how to follow. He and TJ has a rivalry before Rekkei came to live with Fatgum, thought it was mostly Rekkie doing the threatening since TJ didn’t want a rivalry in the first place. Rekkie eventually comes to live with FatGum and Kumo and is put into UA by his new parents. Rekkie currently attends therapy sessions to help him find new ways to cope with his anger and stress (when he lived with Rappa he just went somewhere to punch a wall till he felt better, he’s finding more affective ways to release stress) Taimatsu Todoroki (name means torch/light in English, son to Todoroki X Yaoyorozu) Quirk: Hell flame Taimatsu puts up the act of being very calm and collected, always acting as if he has everything under control and that in the face of a big exam, there is nothing to worry about. However deep down he is incredibly self conscious over his quirk, this is something he often struggles to talk about so he tends to let his emotions out in the privacy of his room. He hates being compared to his granddad Endevour for..reasons. Many people tend to make comparisons between himself and Endevour due to him inheriting his quirk, however Taimatsu doesn’t like his quirk that much for this reason, so he tends to let others take the spotlight. He relaxes by painting in his free time Yari TetsuTetsue (Name means spear in English, son to TetsueTetsue X Kendo) Quirk: Steel and Big Fist Yari is a bit of a smartass and is quite sarcastic, like his mother he’s pretty straight forward when saying his opinion and is very smug when confronted with people he doesn’t like or people who are too full of themselves. He’s the one friend that will actually speak up if he thinks they’re all going to do something that will get them in trouble. Despite this he is incredibly passionate about fighting like his father, and takes every opportunity he can to perfect his abilities.

[faroreswinds]

Bord again. So today is my thoughts on the Duo Heroes from feh.

Hector and Lilina (Halloween)

Design: Great

Art: Great

Voice Acting: Decent

Unit: Ok

For a first duo unit it made a pretty great splash. A great look with cute dialogue and passable voice acting. The unit itself is not super great in the meta due to being armored unit, and it's duo skill can only be used once and is not as impressive as the other skills since it only has a single effect, but overall not a bad unit to have in your stash. They come with a rare, inhertiable skill that when put on the right unit can be very dangerous, but is pretty easy to get around.

Ephraim and Lyon

Design: N/A

Art: Pretty good

Voice Acting: Pretty good

Unit: Stellar

The only current duo unit that isn't themed based off a holiday, but nonetheless an excellent unit. They are among the best lance units in the game, with effectiveness against armored and cavalry, not to mention great skills and a killer movement duo skill for armored and infantry units to boot. The voice acting is pleasant to listen to, although has some weak moments, and while the art isn't terrible, the faces are a bit odd to look at. As for design, its just Ephraim and Lyon slapped together, so there isn't really anything to say on the matter.

Marth and Elice (Christmas)

Design: Great

Art: Great

Voice Acting: ???

Unit: ???

I don't have this unit so I cannot comment on them too much, and I rarely come across them in the wild. But in terms of looks, they look awesome.

Alfonse and Sharena (New Years)

Design: Great

Art: Great

Voice Acting: Decent

Unit: Stellar

Easily one of the most dangerous blue tomes in the game, and one of the best duo units you can get. Everything about the unit is perfectly designed for it. Despite their low speed, they easily prevent follow up, especially when you activate their duo skill to lower specials down by 2, and with special spiral, which they come with, they stay in that range. They even come with close counter, but other skills can be used to be just as dangerous. This unit is a popular unit to see in the wild. The voice acting is passable, with Sharena being pretty weak while Alfonse is not too bad, but its not the worst in the game. If you can get them, do it.

Alm and Celica (Valentines)

Design: Ok

Art: Pretty Good

Voice Acting: Fantastic

Unit: Really good

This unit has some really great voice acting. Both actors really nailed it without sounding wooden or like they were reading from a script. It's a shame that the design is just ok. It's pretty boring- some casual clothes with flowers, that's pretty much it. That said, the unit itself it very useful. The unit is one of the fastest in the game and can hit like a truck- helps that it comes with some good skills too. The duo skill is also quite useful, having multiple effects that grants boosts, removes penalties, and heals. It can only be used once, but once is all you need- plus, like Alfonse, the duo skill helps the unit too with their personal weapon. You cannot go wrong with this unit.

Palla, Catria, and Est (Baby Edition)

Design: Good

Art: Great

Voice Acting: Decent

Unit: Stellar

Technically this is a trio unit rather than a duo but... we will let it side. This flier unit is top notch when placed with a flyer team, guarantee to double, and even quadruple when positioned just right! Their duo skill is similar to Ephraim's, except for fliers only and instead if being used once, can be used more than once per map, meaning lots of extra movement for your team and the unit. This unit will lose its effectiveness without at least two other fliers to back it up, but on a flier team makes for a dangerous unit. The art looks great, the design is cute but just their baby forms so nothing special. The voice acting is weak but passable, with some good moments and some bad ones.

Idunn and Fae (Easter)

Design: Great

Art: Great

Voice Acting: Poor

Unit: Really good

Hopping in is the dragon armored duo, and they are a much better armor unit that Hector and Lilina. When foe initiates, they are a wall- they prevent follow up attacks, but come with skills that with have them double in return. While they are weak as an armored and dragon unit to effectiveness, they have a duo skill that will neutralize that effectiveness for one time on a map- great for tight spots and for armor and dragon teams! You see them from time to time in the wild and they can be hard to kill. They look great too- shame about the voice acting. Fae sounds too fake, and Idunn sounds like she is reading a script. But regardless, a good addition to your barracks.

Micaiah and Sothe (June Wedding)

Design: Great

Art: Great

Voice Acting: ???

Unit: ???

Another unit I do not possess. They look phenomenal- some of the best art in the game, and especially among these duo units. And I've seen them in the wild. They are a rare colorless tome, and the only flier colorless tome to boot, and they seem pretty effective at their job. But I cannot really say more. At least they seem more useful than Christmas Marth duo, anyways.

Byleth and Rhea (Summer)

Design: Good

Art: Good

Voice Acting: Pretty good

Unit: Pretty good

They made a splash in more than one way, but as a unit they are not terrible. Nothing to really right home about, but they are a pretty powerful red flier mage. As a mage, they have stiff competition against superior red tomes, but their duo skill can really make a difference, as it greats desperation that actives despite the amount of HP, not to mention it can be used more than once on a map. They can be dangerous, but they die really easy when initiated upon, which cannot be said for some of the other duo units. Rhea's VA is great, while Byleth is just ok. The art is... well, technically good, but the faces are weird and the boobs are unnatural looking. Big isn't even the problem, they just look really off. But overall, a fun unit to use.

Sigurd and Deirdre (Ballroom)

Design: Good

Art: Great

Voice Acting: Terrible

Unit: Ok

As the first calvary dancer in the game, they look promising at a first glance, but ultimately are just ok. Their only job is really to dance, and since they cannot go through trees or are slowed by certain tiles, beast dancers can basically do their movement but without those restrictions. But while they look pretty good, while a nice get up and pretty art, their voice acting is really bad. They both sound unbelievable, like reading a script. It's really, really hard to listen to. And their duo unit is basically reposition, which can be used more than once but I have found to be difficult to use since is can mess up other positioning I have done. Overall, just a cavalry dancer for cavalry teams, and that's pretty much it.

Mia and "Marth" (Summer)

Design: Great

Art: Great

Voice Acting: Really good

Unit: Stellar

Technically they are not labeled as duo units but Harmonized units, since they come from different games... but they are functionally almost identical so I'm including them anyways! And they are overall amazing. They hit hard, almost will always hit twice, and take little damage in return (provided they initiate). They can be killed easily with their low defenses if foe initiates, but as long as they are in your hands they are awesome. Not to mention they look awesome, and their voice acting is fun to listen to. Their harmonized skill is passable, but it is helpful and can be used multiple times per map.

Veronica and Xander (Pirates)

Design: Great

Art: Great

Voice Acting: Terrible

Unit: God tier

Let's get the worst part out of the way- voice acting sucks. It's really bad. Nothing is read well and it feels so fake. That said... this unit is in a tier of its own. Don't let the poor speed fool you. This unit, when alone, its twice and hits like a truck, and has insane defense. The kit it comes with is already perfect. It's harmonized skill is amazing- it prevents follow up attacks for the unit and for units that come from the same games as Xander and Veronica. This would be limiting, except that Veronica is from Heroes, and some of the best units are from Heroes, and are free so nearly everyone has them. And, it is a skill that can be used more than once to boot. They look great and play amazing. Grab one if you can.

Tiki and Ninian (Halloween)

Design: Meh

Art: Decent

Voice Acting: Pretty good

Unit: ???

They just came out so I cannot fully say how they are as a unit. That said, they are... disappointing. It has been a year since the duo units were first introduced. Halloween is my favorite season. And Tiki and Ninian are just unimpressive. The demon and angel design is a fun idea, but the actual costumes are boring. Ninian's face looks really off too. At least Tiki sounds great, while Ninian sounds just ok. Their harmonized skill is very situational- while they have technically two functions, one of them requires to be close to a unit from the same game that has already acted, and basically is a dance function. It can also only be used once. So far, not a unit worth a pull.

[henpeckedho]

Doing the math this morning and it maaaay be cheaper overall to buy a home instead of renting at the end of this lease--if I can get approved for a mortgage. My credit won't be as good as it is now but there are some cheap homes.

They obviously haven't been well maintained but I really LOVE home improvement projects. And I could really take my time to do things cheaply but well.

Obviously if something like the hot water heater goes that's a huge cost but outside of that, even with me paying for all utilities, etc, my monthly cost would be lower and I could stash extra money into a house emergency fund.

Probably a pipe dream, but fun to think about.

[murasaki-murasame]

I went into this gala with about 580 summons saved up, so was that enough for me to get Summer Norwin?

Find out under the cut :)

Just to cut right to the chase, here’s all the new stuff I got:

-Bellina [lmao at my first 5-star being a dagger unit who isn’t even one of the two featured ones on this banner]

-Summer Norwin [!!!!!!!] [He actually came home after about 20 or so summons but I decided to keep going to try and get Gala Laxi since I need more flame units and I don’t want to miss another gala unit]

-Nadine [I wanted to flesh out my flame roster so this is really nice, lol. I felt kinda bad about skipping her banner since I love her whole design and kit, so I’m glad i got her]

-Gauld [He’s not a 5-star but this is actually my first time getting him since he came out]

-Summer Konohana Sakuya x5 [I wasn’t even chasing her since I don’t think she’s that great but I managed to get enough dupes to fully unbind her while chasing Gala Laxi lmao]

-Gala Laxi [I finally got her, and all it took was about 280 summons total. I probably should have just stopped when I got Summer Norwin, but honestly I’m glad I kept going since I got some good stuff out of it]

Also in terms of random dupes I got:

-Wedding Elly [Which reminds me that one of the things I’m saving for now is a Gala Alex rerun]

-Student Maribelle [I wish I could have gotten Summer Sinoa instead but it’s not a big deal]

-Ramona [This also reminds me that I’m ALSO waiting for a Gala Elly rerun]

-Chelsea

-Siren [now she’s at 2UB]

-Zephyr [now he’s at 3UB]

-Freyja x2 [I don’t know how I managed to pull two separate copies of her, but I did, lol. To put into perspective how awkward this is, I now have TWO fully unbound copies of Freyja, and a separate 0UB copy]

Part of me kinda regrets going so hard on this banner, but because of how big of a stash I had going into it, I still have like 300 summons left over, so it’s not the end of the world. Hopefully if we get a gala remix soon I can skip it, since we’ll probably get a gala dragon at the end of August, and I’ll probably want to pull for them. Then there’s the second anniversary in September, and after that we’ll get back into limited holiday banner season. So there’s a lot I want to save for.

I at least ended up with enough eldwater after all this to get Bellina, Nadine, Gala Laxi, and Summer Norwin to 49MC each, lol.

I haven’t really had much time to play around with any of them yet [and I only have 0UB CT2 weapons for Gala Laxi and Summer Norwin so I need to go farm better weapons for them], but their damage mods and stuff are up on the wiki now, so I have a much better understanding of how they all work.

The DPS sim hasn’t updated yet, so who knows exactly how good they all are in practice, but from what I’ve seen they all look really good.

Going by what the wiki says, Sinoa’s S1 seems to have a super low SP cost and fairly high damage mods of around 1600%, so combined with her abilities I think she’ll be a very high DPS unit. Maybe around the same level as Sylas.

It’s still gonna take a while to wrap my head around Summer Norwin’s kit, but at least now I know how it works in practice, lol. It’s a really interesting set-up, since both of his skills have exactly the same SP cost, and I was right about each skill raising both skills phase levels with each use, so the idea is pretty much to use one skill, immediately use the other one, and then go back to charging them again. But you can choose which skill you want to use first, to dictate his overall rotation. Even if it only really matters which skill you decide to use at phase 4.

Also the skill icons are the same for each skill, and change based on what phase they’re at, which actually helps a lot to keep track of his rotations. It’s also EXTREMELY cute that the different phases of both of his skills have animations that depict different stages of a fairy tale, so choosing what route you want to take with his skills plays out like a Choose Your Own Adventure book.

His SP costs seem high at first if you compare them to the S1 costs of other dagger units, but it’s basically a trade-off where instead of having a cheap S1 and an expensive S2, he has two skills that are in more of a middle ground, cost-wise. Specifically they both cost around 4.5k SP, while a unit like Gala Laxi for example has her S1 cost 2.5k SP, and her S2 cost 7.7k SP. So it evens out.

His damage mods also seem pretty high for how relatively spammable his skills are. Like with their SP costs and icons, the damage mods for their first three phases both seem to be exactly the same, ranging from about 1200% to 1600%. Then his phase 4 S1 doesn’t do damage but cleanses your debuff stacks and energizes the team, while his phase 4 S2 has around 2000% damage mods, inflicts poison, self-inflicts a debuff stack, and you take damage equivalent to 20% of your HP for each debuff stack you have. We’ll see how that all pans out in terms of his overall dps, but he seems very good, considering that these are two separate skills with those damage mods, and relatively low/middle-ground SP costs. The fact that he’s usually going to be using two skills back to back because of how their cooldowns line up means he might also have pretty good burst DPS during break. His team energize on his phase 4 S1 also seems pretty substantial, even though his energy = skill haste passive still seems kinda weak.

Taking into account that he also has an innate 30% poison punisher ability, I get the feeling that he’ll at least be in the same dps tier as units like Sylas and Lin You.

We already knew all we needed to know about Summer Sakuya before this, but now that I have a MUB copy of her, I hope she’s good, lol. I’ve stuck her on Summer Norwin for now since it seems fitting for him during this event, but I think he’s prefer Vayu in most cases.

I already thought Gala Laxi was weird when I read her kit, but seeing her in practice was a whole different story, lol. I hadn’t seen any gameplay videos of her before I used her for the first time, so let’s just say that it took me by surprise when I found out what her unique attack combo is like. I was wondering if she might have one, like the last few gala units, but hers is even more unique than theirs. Basically she feels a lot like Catherine, with how she shoots projectiles, which also means that she more or less doesn’t feel like a dagger unit at all. I’m fine with that, though, since I’m not a big fan of how daggers play.

She also apparently has an alternate version of her unique attack combo that you can trigger by timing your inputs instead of just spamming them, but I didn’t really get a feel for that much. It seems kinda hard to pull off.

Her damage mods feel a bit lower than I expected [850% on her normal S1, 1000% on her S1 during Eden Mode, and 2200% on her S2 during Eden Mode], but I think she has a lot of emphasis on her regular attacks, so I think overall she’s still gonna have pretty high DPS.

She doesn’t really play like I expected, since she doesn’t actually have much risk-reward stuff going on, and she seems more focused on regular attacks than using super powerful skills, plus the fact that she’s basically a psuedo-ranged unit, but overall she actually feels more fun to play than I was expecting, so I’m glad I kept going until I got her, lol. I’m also gonna have to take some time soon as well to play with Nadine a bit now that I have her.

All in all I think this gala was pretty good to me. I could have stopped after I got Summer Norwin super quickly, but I got some good stuff by going deeper. Now I’m gonna go back to saving for the next gala that interests me, which will probably be the next gala dragon, unless we get a rerun of Gala Elly or Gala Alex first.

[diminuel]

I wasn’t all that fond of 15x10 while I watched it yesterday. I loved the premise and Garth, but I think it was just a bit too over the top for me. The placement of this episode within the greater context of it being the final episode and following the rather gloomy previous episode just made it feel a bit off. That aside, I just didn’t enjoy watching it all that much even though I could appreciate what we were given.

But I’m giving it another rewatch and another chance! I’d love to hear your thoughts too, whether you agree or disagree with my reactions. :D

It takes hardly any time for us to notice something completely amiss and they don’t even hide it: a classical piece of music accompanying a bloody fight between two monsters. Everyone is going to notice that this isn’t quite right, which then guides over into the next thought: the editing makes or breaks a scene. I think that’s the overall theme I took away from this episode. Metatron said that God posted the first draft and we’ve seen both Becky and Metatron edit God’s writing. The first conclusion we could draw is that God is not “editing” Sam and Dean’s story. But actually that doesn’t make a lot of sense because he couldn’t see Sam and Dean before either and they were fine. It’s maybe that he over-edits it. He throws problems in their ways that are... well, kind of what Becky wanted; the everday issues. Them dealing with laundry all day. This is the stuff we write, ad absurdum. And with monsters.

So the theory I’m going with right now is that Chuck is editing, just differently than before.

One preliminary thought regarding Garth: Were there no consequences to the Grace he had swallowed during AU Michael’s weird monster plan? What happened to that monster plan in general? Michael seems to be very bad at stragegizing.......

Dean’ shopping: The shop is called Berens’ quick trip. Berens is always sending us on a trip, though I think this one was Dabb’s fever dream. *lol* Lots of music for what is basically just showing Dean shopping. We see the guy giving Dean a ticket through the window but Dean’s oblivious, too focused on shopping. (Two six packs of beer. This might either show Dean indulging or Dean stocking up for Cas, not that Cas wants beer usually.) 

Dean knows the store attendant by name, so I guess this is a place he goes to often, though I doubt it’s in Lebanon because of the high rises in the background? 

What did Dean buy? Some beer, a magazine, some chips, something sweet he’s eating... How did that amount to over 40$? Why did he go buy that? Why not go to a proper store and buy proper food? Just beer and snacks? As someone who has to do her own shopping now this seems inefficient. (And my shopping center is in 5 minutes walking distance. *lol*) Also, I think I’ve seen people mention that the magazine is a cooking or baking magazine?

Also, here’s the first instance we have of Dean’s teeth hurting. Just stop eating the chocolate you silly man.

I have no compassion for Dean whining about getting a ticket. He’s not allowed to park there. Rules apply for you too, Mr. Winchester. I don’t like people who think they can do what they want. *thinks back to young snobby looking BMW driver who parked in the middle of a square in front of a bank and who got a ticket* *Schadenfreude* (That’s the kind of person I am. I like people who think rules don’t apply for them to be punished by the law.)

Sam’s scene in the kitchen: I assume it was Dean who had started cooking and then just walked away to get some more shopping done. This is merely based on my assumption that Sam doesn’t cook. We know that Sam sometimes does kinda stupid things like blowing on paper to make the fire go out... Touching things straight out of the oven and putting his hands on a hot pot are pretty thoughtless. And he’s clumsy apparently.

Also why the heck would he pull the pot from the stove? It wasn’t even boiling over. Just lower the temperature. Have you never been in a kitchen before, dude? And you’re not even cleaning up after yourself?

Dean and Sam discussing their issues: So Sam never trips? Both noticed right away that this was weird. Sam looks so offended. Like “I’m Sam Fucking Winchester, I don’t trip!”?

Also, did Sam say “dinner”? Is it already evening and they’ve just been hit with “normal person-itis” now? I see Sam’s watch but I can’t decipher it right. It it 5:35? What time of the year is it in canon? I was still light outside when Dean was shopping.

In the car on the way to Garth: A look, it’s dark now, which suppors the “they just randomly got hit with normal people problems. The music for this scene is also unusual. 

I’m annoyed that Cas is in heaven. Why. Why is he up there? Why does SPN always stash Cas out of the way with random stuff? It would have been nice if there had been a phone call or something with Cas checking in or just a mention that Dean was driving back from dropping Cas off at the angel gate or whatever. It takes so little, makes such an impact for me. This? Sorry. It’s just not enough for me.

Why is the car giving up the ghost? Especially in such a weird way? Isn’t Dean constantly working on the Impala? This is not normal people problems either.

At Garth’s: So Sam and Dean walked like 16km? Couldn’t they have taken public transport OR a taxi like normal people...? Or call road assistance or Garth at least? I don’t know what it’s like in the US but that seems a bit extra, even for Sam and Dean.

Garth and Bess have an old style phone in their house, which is a random remark but it’s a nice deco object.

Garth’s Twins: I don’t quite understand why Garth calls the twins Sam and Castiel. What kind of connection does Garth have to Cas? Why not Sam and Dean? If only one of the brothers, why Sam? He has more of a connection to Dean after all? I don’t get it. Dabb just liking it when people prefer Sam and Dean has to roll his eyes at it? :/

Again with the weird, out of place music when they have a look at Bess’ cousin.

Dean and Garth: The dramatic music when Dean steps into the dentist’s room. *lol* And then his disquieted “you’re very strong” when Garth forced him. I think since Garth treats werewolves who might also have an aversion to the dentist, he’d be used having to use a bit of force *lol* Besides. I really love getting insight into how monsters deal with “normal people problems” because they have them too. It’s a shame that we don’t see more of that side to monsters. We only see those monsters who mess up after all, rarely those who try to blend in. 

I might not know much about dentistry but I only had cotton stuffed into my bleeding mouth like that when I got my wisdom teeth out in an operation. Sure, I bleed a bit when I have appointment but not like that??? Just what did Garth do? Replace Dean’s teeth with werewolf teeth? *lol*

Sam and Bess: Dramatic music continues when Bess hands Sam the “cure” drink. It kind of frames the scenes as dangerous and at least it put me slightly on “confused edge” because the music made me think I couldn’t trust Garth and Bess. Sam’s struggles are kinda... over the top. I mean, we’ve seen Dean eat ghost pepper jerky and suffer, but Sam is suffering kinda ridiculously, like he’s been hit by a curse or something (i.e. still like he’s in the middle of a battle against some monster). Ew. Sam wiping his tongue on the arm he’s been sneezing and snotting into. Uff.

The tap dancing: Nice but I don’t really see the point in it >w< I guess normal people have normal funky dreams. And I guess Dean dreams of joyful things like dancing and having FOR ONCE gentle interactions with a lamp instead of always smashing them.

Talking about God and being heroes in a story: I like Garths’ approach to this topic and that he’s much more aware of story structures than the Winchesters seem to be. Why does Dean need a colonoscopy? (Angsty thought: does he have cancer...? Can werewolves smell it? Is that how it’s gonna end? Normal people problem killing Dean? Nope.)

Scene with the cousin: Poor Sam, he looks so upset when his “gentle request and puppy eyes” approach didn’t work. Though I like that it’s Bess who gets the guy to talk (like it’s Garth who gets the job done later on). I really like that monsters have normal people problems too. And it seems like the Winchesters are still very surprised about that.

Sam and Dean “job”: I think they’re being idiots here. Not only do they lack any evidence that the monsters who watch those fights are harming people, so they just kill them because they’re monsters? Also, it seems very unwise for two people alone to take on how many monsters?? No damn research done at all. And on top of that it seems really unwise to go on a case when they don’t know what else “normal people problems” entails while hunting. At least Sam might have been alarmed due to his sudden clumsiness... Just, stupid move on the Winchesters’ part. 

Side note: Sam doesn’t seem to be comfortable saying anything at all. He still seems to be shocked by the werewolf’s diss.

Dean continues to be kinda dumb and I don’t exactly get why. They don’t know what they’re walking into, so they definitely need to be prepared and I can think of several examples where he was prepared for anything. And now that he can’t be sure of his “luck” he’s not gonna think twice about it? And him munching his grilled cheese, talking with his mouth full and “playing” with the gun wasn’t super endearing to me. Sorry, I know many found it cute *lol* And who vomits that loudly...? I mean... ew.

I liked that Dean tried to bluff his way out of the situation and maybe it would have worked in another situation... 

Dean and Sam in cages: It makes no sense that not being able to pick locks is part of normal people problems because I’m sure they learnt how to pick locks over the years. So this, and their inability to fight later on (another thing they’ve learnt) just makes it clear that Chuck didn’t just remove them from “hero” status, but took away more than just their special skills.

Dean’s entire heartfelt speech doesn’t work either, neither on Sam or Dean, nor on the audience both because of how it’s filmed (no particular clear shot of Dean’s face and Sam constantly looking uncomfortable) and the variation of Dean’s theme.

What’s with Dean’s throat? I don’t understand what he said.

Garth saves the day: Dean’s awed “you are so strong” is cute! Why has he never been in awe of Cas’ strenght? Cas lifted a 1t anvil once and Dean didn’t even look at him amorously for it. 

Man, there are a couple things I don’t understand here! Wish I had subtitles because I’ll probably only get what “we’re gotta get out of here blblblbl monstersquad” or “the monster squad bbbüb the good guys” means.

I think they might still be able to fight but whatever “hero” bonus they had was deleted and now it IS almost impossible to just knock out a monster. They did have more trouble in earlier seasons before they could just easily stick an angelblade into every monster and not even break much of a sweat. But the whole fight sequence is just a little bit too ridiculous for me...

Back at Garth’s home: The whole “this Cas keeps looking at me weird” scene is my highlight. I wonder if now that Dean and Cas are no longer locked into their defined roles (though I’m not sure if Chuck has written them with a specific dynamic, since he never seems to make use of Cas) Dean will notice more about Cas too ;D Though of course Dean does notice the way Cas looks at him (”the last time someone looked at me like that, I got laid” as a classic example). But still, maybe something to think about. Since a story does come with particular characters dynamics between heros and their supporting characters.

Dean saying that he could be an awesome dancer if he wanted to be is nice. The only thing he lacks is a partner to dance with. Though... He doesn’t lack a partner since he has Cas back now. He just needs to make the first move ;3

Baby clearly doesn’t want to go to Alaska. *lol*

Okay, that was a long post again, not structured at all, not edited, and it still took me multiple days to rewatch and type this up! Haha

[polarurchin]

What was your first time like?

Ask my muse NSFW questions

Only after he double and triple checked the hallway did Uni finally close the door to ikkaku’s room before sitting down on her bed crosslegged with a growing flush to his checks where even his favorite bandana couldn’t cover up.

“Listen... I haven’t really told any of the guys about this but... It was actually pretty nice for my first.”

Biting gently on his lower lip while being mindful of his sharp teeth, he continued to spill even more details then he’d ever usually give. It didn’t help that they might’ve delved into some secret stash of alcohol before doing this ‘talk’, but it at least gave him the liquid courage necessary to spill the details of that intimate night.

“To be honest I wasn’t even sure I’d be able to go all the way, all I thought was that once the bandana dropped it’d be all over like it had been before but that never happened.”

Growing in confidence, Uni pressed on.

“She had this nice soft touch and instead of fearing me, she was more than willing to come up close and touch the scars and fins herself... And not gonna lie, that was also the moment I found out that those little things were actually pretty sensitive.”

“Overall, while it definitely wasn’t all that bad, it probably could’ve been better because I was still pretty much skittish about the affair while she was much more confident, needless to say I wasn’t exactly able to give her the dominant performance she seemed to assume I’d have with all of these scars of mine.”

[norcumii]

Bleh. I need to take mental inventory, so y’all get to enjoy if you like.

*****

Balance: A Last Hope grew another part (Thanks, Mace) unless the new interesting bit slots in somewhere else. Mindhealers (1 of 2) is done enough. Part 2 has stalled on my end – it’s doing that thing where I open the document, stare at it, and then it’s finally time to go to bed. I think it’s the fact that we’re reaching fiddly little bits and while the broad strokes are easy, it’s just (emotionally?) hard to write.

Star 2: part 1 is chugging along decently, there’s just so much going on that it sometimes feels a bit overwhelming. Maybe I need to sketch out a better outline of what I want to cover? Should probably also keep in mind that there’s a lot of balls in the air, so just...DON’T try to fight for Proper Writing Wankery. Characters are going to wander in and out of the story, focusing on “THIS is the FIRST CHAptER must hit all significant characters and NONE WHO ARE NOT but this bit is FUNNY and has to be from X character’s perspective but but but” – bleh. Just rock the silly.

It is so much easier to accept this with it being a ‘new fic’ instead of chapter 21 of who the fuck even knows. Amazing how that lowers the mental hurdles.

Amnesia!Vader: I keep reading the file name as Amnesiá rather than Amnesia6, which keeps messing with my head. ::grumbles:: This one’s going pretty well, it’s just hard to keep up momentum when it’s farcical action but painful, tragic content. This story is always the weirdest balancing act. This one’s chugging along, just gonna take time.

Nightsisters: siiiigh. This is the one I keep looking at and then flailing. Clearly something is off since I haven’t even managed to find TYPOS to putz with lately, this one’s stalled hard. I think some of it is the plotting – I suspect I need to pull the not-really-a-fight-scene and simply roll without it. It’s just too much. At the same time, a part of me STILL protests that things are insufficient without it, but....meh. I don’t think the overall plot is a problem, I’ve just gotten too fixated on our original plans. Maybe should chew that over with Mati at some point. Note to self, make sure the google doc is up to date.

Sith!Verse: Iiii haven’t touched this one in ages. >_< I love the verse, but it’s not my wheelhouse, and so I sorta vaguely flail along behind Dogmatix and if there’s even an outline for the chapter I don’t know where I stashed it.

Blackest Circle: I need to buckle down and at least outline the next chapter (...I’m...pretty sure we don’t have more than vague notes of what it’s supposed to cover?). We have such a bad habit of starting to squee over this and then in the same conversation getting distracted by other shiny.

Corellian “Jedi”: this keeps stalling ‘cause we never pinned things down beyond “hey wouldn’t it be funny if?” and that’s been the whole damn fic from day one. Not teeeechnically on the docket, but might as well list it.

Concordance: ...Yeaaaaah, I ought to...figure out where that’s going, since I got [singular plot element] and that’s it. Well, no, there’s also [character shenanigans] I know I HAVE to do.

Reconciliation: Need to post that, and then find a way to wrap it. Technically I probably planned for it to be 2 more parts, but if I’m not in the mood for smut, then I could probably finish it in one?

Wake of the Force: ….ok, fine. I’m intimidated by the next part. It builds up to the pivotal scene, THE scene that started things, and meanwhile there’s more emotional CONFLICT and yikes. I think I want to be not tired to write this one, but whatever’s going on means I’m always tired.

Supplemental 17: uuuurugh, I don’t wanna write angst! And we’re hitting the angst point! *SULK* I’ve let that one sit for awhile, though, so maybe if I poke it with a stick something more will fall out. Not a bad place to start with, I guess.

*****

Sigh. So, in short, still always fucking tired, and braining is hard.

[dem-obscure-imagines]

The Familiar

Thackery Binx x Reader Prompt: Some of y’all asked for some Binx around Halloween time but I couldn’t write any since I was busy with school, so I’ve just had this floating around in my head since like October. Apologies. Warnings: None? Word Count: 2.2k

You’d decided a long time ago that you weren’t a great witch. It wasn’t that you were an evil one, no, you tried your best to keep the balance. It was just that you were...as your mother put it, rather inexperienced. You hadn’t had much time to hone your skills yet, and your magic was far from fully controlled. You weren’t good at brewing potions or casting spells...overall, you were kind of a mess, but you meant well.

And that, Thackery figured, was probably the reason he had stumbled upon your house in the first place. He knew well after his couple hundred years wandering through the streets of Salem, that any witch worth her hexes needed a familiar to keep her on the right path, so your familiar is just what he became.

Now, nearly two years later, you were curled up on the couch with your knitting. It wasn’t a particularly magical project you were working on, but you’d been told by your mother that crafting something with magical hands often increased its magical properties. You figured that must be the case for something like this, something that took so long to make.

You heard Thackery’s paws pad across the wooden floor and into the living room, where you were settled.

“Are you a bit cold? It’s rather cold in here.” He noted. How he was able to tell, all covered in fur like he was now, you’d never know.

“Now that you mention it, yeah, I am.” You agreed, setting your knitting to the side and manifesting a spell in your hand. It was a little one, so it didn’t require nearly as much thought or focus as it had for you a few years ago, but it still required a free hand or two. You watched as a little flame grew in the palm of your hand and then, with a flick of your wrist, you banished it to the fireplace, where the logs caught nicely, beginning to warm the big room of the old Salem house on the sea.

“What are you making?” Thackery tilted his head and watched as you picked up your project again. His sharp green eyes fixed on the string and you could tell it was taking every bit of his consciousness to resist the urge to play with it. Cute, you decided.

“Scarf. It’s going to get colder soon.” You reminded him quietly, as though the orange trees outside weren’t a reminder of the fact. Halloween had come and gone uneventfully, so you were safely on your way through November, trying to balance your magical studies with all of the hobbies you had, this being one of them. Well, that and bonding with your familiar. Although, the last of those things wasn’t too difficult. You knew he was pretty fond of you.

“Right. The weather tends to do that, doesn’t it?” He chuckled to himself, shaking his head. You couldn’t imagine what it would be like to be Thackery Binx, after having lived through so many seasons and years and decades and centuries. Time really didn’t mean anything to someone who’s immortal. It was sad. “Oh, don’t be sad for me, love.” He cooed, looking at the expression on your face. Your bond with him did many things. One of them was letting you tap into the other’s emotions from time to time, not that he didn’t know you well enough to be able to tell.

“It is sad, though, isn’t it?”

“I suppose. But you shouldn’t be sad for me. Someone as precious as you shouldn’t waste time on being sad.”

You couldn’t seem to explain your racing heart, nor the way it warmed your insides when one of his little paws rested on your working hands, stilling them in their places. He looked up at you with those emerald green eyes. “It’s okay, really, it is.”

Your next words were quiet. Had it not been for his acute senses, you doubted he’d have been able to hear you at all. “But it’s not, though.”

Thackery sighed, lowering his paw as you started to put your knitting away and instead picked up the remote for the TV. You pulled your blanket up higher over your legs and gave your thighs a pat, inviting him on. He gladly curled in your lap, warm and purring when you pet him behind the ears, making sure to find his favorite spot.

“We’ll figure it out,” he reassured you between fits of purrs. “Someday…”

“Yeah,” you mulled through thoughts, biting your lip. “Someday…”

***

Your next day of adventure brought you to one of the only genuine witch suppliers in town. It wasn’t hard to imagine that a place like Salem seemed to foster a lot of tourist traps as opposed to genuine places. You’d had to weed through a lot of them the hard way, using some pointers from your mother to steer clear of the ones filled with nothing but nonsense and shiny things.

This one, however, was run by one of the older witches in town, a kind soul who always gave you a discount on books and potion ingredients. She also had very good advice from time to time, so you figured she might have the answer to your question.

“Information on familiars, eh? I do believe I have a few tomes on that. This way, dearie.” Elzabeth led you down the shelves in the front of the cozy little shop. “How is your little Thackery doing these days? Staying out of trouble?”

“Yeah, he’s fine. Chased a bird the other day, but aside from that, it’s been business as usual.”

“You usually bring him here. I was surprised to see you alone.”

“I’m working on a bit of a gift for him, actually. That’s why I need the spells.”

She smiled, and when she did, her eyes seemed to twinkle. “I was wondering when you’d come here looking for something like this, actually, once you realized what happened to him.”

“Yeah, it’s really sad.”

“Very sad. He used to wander in here all the time before he found you. I think he was sort of always looking. It just took him a while to find a witch he could count on.” Your heart melted at that. A witch he could count on.

“We’re a good match, him and I.”

She handed you a thick leather book with a wink. “I think so too.”

***

Thackery sat bolt upright the second he heard your keys in the door. You were late. You were never late, but today you were. The cat had been worried. He was about to hop through the cat door and go looking for you.

“Sorry I’m late, buddy. Traffic was rough.” You explained, walking through the door holding a big brown paper bag with one arm and holding your broom in the other hand.

“You flew.” He tilted his head, eyes fixed on your vehicle of choice.

“It was windy.” You amended, plucking a dead leaf out of your hair and holding it up as evidence. ‘

Thackery nodded, but he still wasn’t quite convinced, his green eyes narrowing in suspicion. You walked out to the table and set the bag down, unloading your goodies. Some groceries, some ingredients to restock your brewing stash, some more yarn, and a smaller paper bag that you didn’t unload. Instead, you waved your hand over it, sending it to your room.

“What was that?”

“Some books.” You replied nonchalantly.

“Oh, alright.” Thackery hopped up onto the table and then onto your shoulder, nuzzling his cheek against yours, a little way to show you how much he missed you. “I’m glad you’re home.”

“Me too.”

***

That night, long after Thackery went to sleep, you set to work. Elzabeth’s shop wasn’t the only place you had stopped that afternoon. You had made another quick place to a store called Familiars R Us, where you picked up all of your favorite treats for Thackery. Today though, the only thing you’d gotten him was a shiny new collar.

Cracking open the book of spells from Elzabeth’s, you flipped to the page you wanted, gripped the collar, and murmured the incantation scrawled on the yellowed paper. The candles around you flickered, flashed, and then blew out, leaving you sitting in the dark clutching an enchanted object. Steam rose off of it and your hand burned holding onto it, so, cursing, you set it down to cool off. You figured, or hoped, that when you woke up the next morning, it would be cooled off enough to put to use…

***

By the time the sun came up, you were already in the kitchen, toiling away at some useless luck potion one of the boys in your class was paying you to brew for him. It would work, yes, but at the end of the day, it was meaningless. It did, however, distract you from what was coming ahead.

“You’re anxious,” Thackery announced, hopping up to sit on the counter before even touching the breakfast you’d laid out for him, eggs and sausage, one of his favorites. “Everything alright, love?”

“I’m good, yeah.”

“Well, that’s not the truth, now is it? I know you’re not nervous about the potion you’re brewing, judging that it’s liquid luck.”

“I’ll explain it to you as soon as I get this bottled up, alright?”

“Okay.” He settled, hopping to the table to eat off of his plate.

You ladled a few bottles of love potion out of the cauldron before flicking your wrist to put out the flame. You could probably sell the leftovers to the Potion place next to Elzabeth’s. Satisfied with your work, you set the bottles on the counter and then joined Thackery at the table and picked up your fork.

He stopped eating, looking up at you eagerly.

“What?”

“Explain yourself, witch.” He teased.

“Well, I enchanted something last night and I’m nervous to try it out is all.”

“Oh. What did you enchant?”

“A collar…” You pulled the artifact from the pocket of your cloak and set it on the table. He looked it over before looking back at you, a question waiting behind his green eyes.

“You’re not trying to mute me, are you? If I was annoying you, you could have just said something.”

“It’s not that.” You laughed, shaking your head. “I love the sound of your voice, Thackery, you know that.”

“Is it for me? I suppose I should have asked that first.”

“It IS for you. A...belated birthday gift of sorts, I guess.” You took a few bites of sausage and eggs, waiting for him to say something more or ask what enchantment you had put on it. That would probably be an important thing to ask. You were guessing he didn’t ask because he didn’t want to get his hopes up. You felt the anxiousness manifesting in him, too. “I can help you put it on whenever you’re ready.”

His eyes didn’t leave yours when he answered, “I’m ready.”

So, standing up, you helped clasp the brown leather collar around Thackery’s neck. And then you waited. Not even a second later, he groaned in discomfort, hopefully a good sign. Then, he mewled, hopping off of the table away from you, hiding himself behind the large round wooden structure.

“Oh my God, are you okay?” You asked after a few concerning moments of quiet. You moved to peek around the table, but you were stopped by the sound of a voice, and a head of sandy hair rising up from behind it. Large hands and human fingers gripped it, pulling himself into a standing position.

Any question you had was silenced at the sight of him. It had worked. Holy shit, it had worked. A black sweater was draped over his frame, and a pair of ripped blue jeans adorned his long legs. Thackery looked up at you with wide green eyes before surging forward and collecting you in his arms, pressing a long and desperate kiss to your lips, followed by three shorter but equally desperate ones.

The breath was sucked out of your lungs, your knees going wobbly at the fiery passion he instilled in you. He pulled away and studied your features, analyzing, although he was more than capable of just feeling your emotions through your bond. There was no regret or disgust or anything, only warmth and swirls of surprise.

“H-how did you-?” He pulled you against his chest, long fingers combing through your hair.

“Elzabeth came through. She’s amazing.”

“Thank you.” He pressed a kiss to your hairline, exhaling a long breath with his lips against your skin. “Thank you so much.”

“Of course.”

“And you’re...you’re okay with...your cat kissing you?” He was having a bit of trouble wording exactly what had just unfolded.

“Well,” you tilted your head, pretending to consider it, “I think I’d like it if he did it again.”

“Oh, well in that case…” Thackery grinned and tilted your head up to his, connecting your lips once more.

[howtohero]

#262 Faking a Surrender

Sometimes battles don’t go the way you want to. They zig when you wanted them to zag. They twerk when you wanted them to dab. Sometimes the bad guy gets the upper hand when you would’ve much preferred they get the lower hand. What do you do when a villain has you on the ropes and it looks like your defeat is imminent? Well, you do just about the only sensible thing you have left to do. You surrender... or do you...

It’s true though, sometimes the best way to defeat a supervillain is to pretend to surrender. A fake surrender is a handy hail marry that almost always works to some degree, because supervillains are often very hubrsitic (hubrisful? hubed?). If they see you surrendering, they’ll assume that their superior power and intellect has finally brought you to their knees. They honestly might just start patting themselves on the back and forget to actually finish up their actual evil plan. They might say to themselves “Well, I’ve already defeated my mortal nemesis. No sense continuing with my plan to build the world’s biggest lighthouse, lure all the boats in the world to my cove lair, steal all the boats, and then have an evil boat fleet. I’ve already accomplished so much today, I don’t want to overextend myself.” If they don’t though, we compiled the very best methods for turning a fake surrender into a real victory.

The Trojan Horse It’s a classic story. Two armies go to war. One army says, “Hey, sorry about fighting this war with you. You totally won, please accept this giant wooden horse as a gift, as is the custom of the time.” The horse turns out to be filled with angry stabby dudes. They stab a bunch of guys and claim a victory. What you’re going to be doing here is very similar but different in a few key attributes. (There is less horses and less stabbing overall.) You surrender. The bad guys take you as a captive. They take you their (formerly) secret lair. You then bust out all those cool escapology tricks we taught you here. Boom, you’ve gained control of their lair and called every law enforcement officer and superhero and park ranger you know to your location. This is a great way to take down not only a major supervillain, but also to dismantle their entire operation. Plus, you get first crack at all the cool stuff the supervillain has in their lair. However, a major drawback of this method is that it requires the bad guy to take you captive instead of just murdering you on the spot. Many supervillains will not hesitate to kill a superhero who has surrendered. Crime is a lot easier to do if the superheroes are dead, and superheroes are a lot easier to kill when they’ve surrendered. So you need to either know for a fact that the villain you’re facing is not the kind that will kill you, or you need to convince them that you are more valuable dead than alive. (Some ways of doing this include: claiming you’ve got some sort of dead man’s switch situation going on where your death will trigger something that is bad for the supervillain. Convincing the villain that you’re actually a billionaire and that you’d be worth a lot in ransom money. On the spot coming up with a way to convince the bad guy that you’re actually a version of them from the future and/or past and hope that their fear of paradoxes outweighs their desire to kill you.)

The Trick Up Your Sleeve A key component to surrendering is putting your hands up. This puts your enemy at ease. If your hands are in the air, with your palms facing them, then they know that you are unarmed and that it is safe to approach you. This is good. You want to give them a false sense of security. Now, the classic use of this method is to have some sort of secret weapon literally stashed in your sleeves, that you can whip out and use when the bad guy comes close to you to accept your surrender. However, you’re a superhero, you can have secret weapons stashed anywhere and everywhere. Perhaps the trick up your sleeve here is actually a secret superpower that you’ve been saving for a moment like this. Preferably one that doesn’t require the use of your hands, like an eye beam or breath-based power. Perhaps the trick is secret arms! Like sure my hands are in the air but did you know that I have two secret additional arms?? And did you know that those two secret additional arms are holding secret guns??? Didn’t think so! What now sucker! This method requires both forethought and the ability to move very quickly, so if you don’t think you’re up to those things then this is not for you!

The Look Up In The Sky This trick is also reliant on you raising your hands in surrender. The difference here though, is that when you do so,you don’t have your hands open with your palms visible. Instead, when you raise your hands in defeat, you point up at the sky. This will undoubtably confuse your enemy, causing them to look up at the sky to see what you’re point at. Seeing that there is nothing in the sky that would warrant such pointing ( “Is is that cloud that kind of looks like a blood spatter??? Is that what you’re pointing at????” ) they’ll roll their eyes at your insolence and look back down... just in time for them to see your fist flying at their face. The Look Up In The Sky method is a simple yet effective way of distracting your enemy. You just need to make sure you’re prepared to use that moment of distraction to its fullest potential. That could mean punching them out. It could mean making a hasty exit. It could be summoning a bolt of lightning from the heavens, if that’s something you can do. You could also use your fake surrender as a stall tactic while you wait for airborne reinforcements to actually arrive. In which case The Look Up In The Sky can be used as a triumphant gloat to point out to your foe that they’re done for.

The Hope For the Best This method doesn’t always get results, but is also doesn’t always not get results, so. Basically it’s exactly what it sounds like. You surrender with no plan other than to eventually win the day. Surrendering gives you a precious few seconds to come up with some sort of plan. Or it gives your allies the few seconds they need to get to you. Regardless, if you’re at the end of the line, it doesn’t hurt to pull a The Hope For The Best, because sometimes the best happens. You just need to give it the time and opportunity to do so. 

Surrendering is never easy, especially not for a superhero who is so used to things going their way. Fake surrendering however, is comparatively much easier. Because it isn’t real. You’re just tricking supervillains while secretly maintaining the upper hand, and that’s great fun! So, the next time you find yourself losing a battle, think about surrendering, and then think about how you can turn that to your advantage.