#instead of learning to speak up for herself jsut

[iagreewithlilithsrightsnwrongs]

ok so. in my college au, theres no supernatural elements, yes? so ive been thinking abt ava n how in the shadow her being paralysed, alone, an orphan with poor caregivers is an integral part of her character. and i dont know how to incorporate smth similar in this au.

i’ve read abt conversion disorder. you can google it n have a better understanding but basically “Conversion disorder is a mental condition in which a person has blindness, paralysis, or other nervous system (neurologic) symptoms that cannot be explained by medical evaluation.”

“conversion disorder happens as a way for your brain to deal with emotional stress. It’s almost always triggered by upsetting situations and other mental disorders.” and “It also happens more often to people who have a history of emotional stress or who have a hard time talking about their feelings.”

the most common symptom is “the loss of one or more bodily functions. Examples include: Weakness or paralysis. Loss of balance or difficulty walking.” also: movements that you can’t control, tunnel vision or blindness, loss of smell or speech, numbness. 

(this got long but this is useful for me n shit so yeah)

common signs: a debilitating symptom that begins suddenly, history of a psychological problem that gets better after the symptom appears, lack of concern that usually occurs with a severe symptom, they affect your movement or senses, and you can’t control them, hey can’t be explained by any other condition, medication, or behavior, they aren’t caused by another mental health problem, they cause stress in social and work settings.

“The physical symptoms are thought to be an attempt to resolve the conflict the person feels inside.”

here’s some examples (which i need a lot of cuz its kinda hard to understand all those medical terms n shit, from all the sites i’ve read on it): “For example, a woman who believes it is not acceptable to have violent feelings may suddenly feel numbness in her arms after becoming so angry that she wanted to hit someone. Instead of allowing herself to have violent thoughts about hitting someone, she experiences the physical symptom of numbness in her arms.” “For example, imagine taking a hard fall off your bike and then not being able to move your arm. But your arm isn’t injured. Neither is any other part of your body.Your body converted the emotional and psychological stress of your fall into the physical response of a paralyzed arm.” “Physical symptoms can sometimes help with an internal conflict. For example, if you’re struggling with the desire to hurt someone, conversion disorder may cause you to become paralyzed, making it impossible to act on that desire.”

now back to ava. it started to happen after the car accident that took her mom. because of how stressful it was, for weeks, ava was paralysed n doctors were confused cuz every test didnt show how the fuck that can happen. some episodes last days but sometimes its weeks, n they might be gone just as soon as they appeared. 

lil 7 year old ava was terrified n it just kept being amplified everytime she thought it was getting better. her mom was dead. the doctors told her her dad wasn’t coming to pick her up which shocked her cuz she thought he was dead (very awkward for the doctors). both parents only children so no help there, grandparents either dead or in care homes. 

then she gets send to the orphanage, all alone and confused since they were in Spain on vacation n now she doesnt understand anything. most workers n kids dont even speaking spanish since the orphanage specializes in misplaced children, so now shes learning english, n spanish, and she thinks shes still paralysed for weeks, months UNTIL. she makes a friend, a kid in another room who found out abt her n befriended her. 

and ava only starts feeling better when this friend, diego, who’s such a sweet boy, but so sick he’s not gonna live that much longer, and he knows it, says “jsut because you cant move doesnt mean ur not fun!! i think ur cool, ava silva.” n ava moves. its a miracle, diego is an angel, ava is saved n all the kids are ecstatic, ava is crying in pure relief but also confusion because what???

doctors label it as a freak accident n dont want to think much of it since what does it matter, ava is just a girl. but the childcare workers now label ava as the attention seeker n never trust her abt anything. some older kids do it too, but most of them are agaisnt the ladies there out of principle n spite. still, it sucked, n now ava cant trust any adult to save her life n cant even trust her own body to work how its supposed to.

as she gets older she both gets better and worse? she definitely knows when and how to calm down, n the episodes go away if the main source of stress gets resolved, except for any stress caused by ptsd, which ava definitely has from yknow the fucking accident n her moms death. she also, however, has a very yolo mentality, n will get in trouble n in stressful situations most of the time. she’s a menace to herself, n it normally results in one or more limbs to go numb or paralyzed. 

she was homeschooled tho, since it two maybe 2 years of her being bullied, picked on, critiqued, n having the overall stressful n horrible experience that is being a new kid in a new school after ur mom died, for the teachers to beg the childcare workers to keep her at home and safe so she stops showing all these upsetting symptoms. its freaking everyone out and it disrupts the class. so yh, ava was struggling.

when she turns 18 n ages out of the orphanage, she scrambles to find a job n a home n shit. father vincent, a local priest, helps her and shelters her. she shows her the beauty of religion n its practices n the glory of god, but ava is more fascinated by the art there. like sure shes seen movies n read things, but shes never stepped foot in a museum. in fact she didnt go out much just out of precaution n also cuz the ladies most of the time forbade her (if she got hurt they could come under fire n they didnt want that with her symptoms n their unpredictability)

vincent tries to teach ava all abt religion, meanwhile she’s studying the architecture, the paintings, the sculptures. vincent wanted a student, but he didnt have that in ava. so he decided to embrace that n help ava with this calling. its also vincent who tells ava to go to therapy n research abt her symptoms n possible disorder. ava does it more out of the fear vincent would get fed up with her not following his rules n getting kicked out for it. it actually helped tho, and she wont admit it to no one ever. 

i rly like this hc for this au, since it stays true to the character while remaining realistic to our universe n world n shit. HOWEVER. if anyone who has this disorder wants to criticize anything ive written, pls dm me, ask me, whatever. im open for constructive criticism always!! 

also this got long apologies

[only-lonely-lovers]

07.16.2022

tags: dirty talk, dissociating during sex / being triggered during sex, noncon

Bird is あ / Avvy is つ

つ：i think Hanako doesn't have the power. in any sense. to not be effected. its more like if Tsukasa doesn't begin making the interaction weird, it's not weird, like if Tsukasa is just in his usual LALALAL WEEE Hanako is like ugh… listenn… or if Tsukasa is flailing arms about he'll just be like GYAH, but the second tsukasa is like mmmmm hhiiiiiii [touches] there's no instance hanako isn't instantly like [becomes sweaty]

theres no instance where its like. [tsukasa attempts to bait] [hanako just pushes him off] its aways like [tsukasa begins speaking slower] [hanako's eyes unfocus]

あ：Your mans simply becomes aroused

つ：i do think the most recent interaction is the funniest one, bc it does START with Hanako being like GET AWAY!! to tsukasa, then it simply is that Tsukasa starts speaking slower and floating around you and Hanako's eyes start to middle-distance stare at nothing like they. always do. and then knowing immediately after that tsukasa is like [CLAPS] OK BYE NENE [hanako snaps out of it] LFIEJL???

feeling so like he. can just start speaking slower into your ear and its like mmng.m.g… [cant see straight] jsut extremely funny way to be

if he ever became somehow strong enough to just be like NNNNO!!! i'd be so like wow. it took you so many tries but at last you can resist . its like he hasn't improved at handling it thus far its just like. and now. you will feel sweaty

あ：the amount Hanako has not come so far. in fact he's really as bad as ever Starts like heavy breathing Personally I think it's Tsukasa's right to edge Hanako like this Tsukasa's endearing. vixen qualities tbh.

つ：it really feels good to be tsukasa i think. i wish he could teach nene this trick i think she could just do it too, if she were taught it

if you could just start breathily speaking against hanako's ear i think he'd become very yes'm

あ：He becomes so 1000 yard stare held in place by sheer arousal

つ：nene needs a coach to learn this technique, to dissolve the veneer of difficulty. like nene yoyr problem is youre trying to have a normal conversation or like look bright-eyed at him, but if tsukasa does that he ALSO gets like a hand shoved in his face, pushed off. but if only you just instead were like. whispering it heavily next to his neck. like is there…….. a reason… you do the things, you do…. there is, isn't there… he'd be like . [slurring] mgm, gmreason,,m, pants like youy,

あ：[coughs] [starts to tremble]

つ：IF tsukasa was like. AND WHY IS THAT?? he'd be like sooo grumpy and shitty. he just knows Amane well enough to whisper and touch his lips.

あ：BUT - BUT NENE gets a TASTE of this with 7 yo amane , when she kisses his forehead and is like: That's a good luck charm….❤️

つ：I THINK HANAKO HAS AN OFF BUTTON AND YOU CAN PRESS IT!

あ：she talks slower. and he's like [AGOG.] even when you wipe his face he literally is like [hands you the thing you wanted]

つ：she does. she is in her ultimate form there. and IMMEDIATELY he confesses to being into her.

あ：actually its s oooo funny how easy he is there, like he got babied for a sec and was like mgh. i give.

つ：god he's just responsive to touch its a joke again you touch his face. you put a thumb against his cheek you know. you do these things. he becomes. agreeable.

it is funny how little power he could have given some reconnaissance between the girlies

____________________

あ：The………. well it's like i got all fucked up . from looking at Tsukasa talking into Hanako's ear like mgh… damn it's really like that though… but the amount I want to think about Nene learning from Tsukasa from observation and trying things out herself, and being astounded by the effects

But cute specifically to think of some, little instance where Nene attempted to sort of have a preamble conversation with Tsukasa… (omg it's soo easy to imagine her just going to the broadcast room for teaparties with him and just decompressing and girltalking though…) but, like, kind of nerfed by her own shyness and not saying anything overt, it was more of a vague [staring into her teacup] asking Tsukasa if he thinks… that Hanako would like it if she did things that were… 'out of her character'… Would Hanako be put-off by her attempting to imitate Tsukasa? And Tsukasa is like OwO intrinsically at the idea like ahaha. OH!!! I mean. imitate what ❤️……… but nene just is like ><;;; well … I'm, i'm not sure-! [dodgy] but Tsukasa allows it out of a kindness. like awww well. If you won't say hehe. But ummmmmmmmmm hehehe……… IDK!!! heheheh i think amane just likes nene-chan so much… and he likes me. so nene-chan being like me isn't strange is it? [tilts head] we're already similar, aren't we…? [looks like this while he says that]

And Nene has to be like [squints..] ....... ....... .. [not like offended just made to be contemplative-- like --- Does... Tsukasa-kun really believe that...? .-.]

つ：surely Hanako-kun wouldn't really think that… and they're just so different in every way, I mean thats why the imitation would be so jarring, right….

あ：It's just quite a big thought to consider. I like Nene just having to chew on this. in the end, I want it to be impulsive actually, like after brewing for days, having a moment where the three of them are spending time together, and Hanako is being fussy and it makes her like… itch to try and curtail that

Watching him be very tch…. [slaps tsukasa away like a mosquito hovering around] Activating some sort of predatory emotion in Nene like you. you wouldn't keep your cool if…

つ：any extent of it feels like it'd first make Hanako feel like he's having a delusional nightmare fever dream why would she sound like that [tai lung fear voice] what

あ：Simply being like "., 1294765 6/?! 57 . ..6 87// ,fn" W-wh y tjkg.. why would it

Shut down. like your tongue just catches and you become stock still and staring like. As if Nene is some hallucination

つ：afraid to respond and that she''ll be like huuuh? I didn't say anything….. oh I just asked yada yada…. [normal voice]

あ：Having an unreality moment waiting to see if reality comes back.

I actually like the thought of Nene having spend so much time thinking her concept over, that she kind of developed a blindspot in considering the… optics… of imitating brother…. Like, forgetting to be self-conscious that evoking sibling is undesirable and unwanted in this [seemingly] tenuous threeway. Hanako is fronting so hard that he is merely permitting Tsukasa his time here etc. etc… Like surely at first, Nene was like 6_6; "Would that be weird..? Unsexy!?" … [laying in bed, staring at ceiling…]

But you know, it's almost like, the very fact that Tsukasa is relegated to this floater/support role… that leads Nene to have to observe the sheer effect Tsukasa's words have on Hanako. It makes his every little touch seem so strategic…? Nene is put in a position of watching Tsukasa leaning into Hanako's ear and murmuring and making Hanako's face twist

つ：it's true…. Tsukasa has far less… mm… allowances, access, than she does… always has… but he's accruing these sorts of moments, in a flash, effortlessly, through the little channel he's allowed. It's something to be a little jealous of, which would make her feel guilty, too… Tsukasa-kun isn't even allowed all that she is, if anything he should be the one more left out…. so it feels shallow and crude to be envious. But the mystifying quality of Tsukasa's power of suggestion….

あ：Stroking his shoulders and chest or something… and she feels, Hanako in turn grasp her tighter, push against her her harsher, huff, shuffle, twitch. This or that. I think… Nene is capable of observing just how troubled Hanako looks, during sex, he. Looks like someone trying to not enjoy the sex. (A girl can feel self-conscious about this even…) so, it's impressive to watch Tsukasa chip through that…

つ：if anything, Tsukasa is relatively inhibited and well-behaved… in some small way it feels wasted. If only she could also have that power…. with her other skills, too..

あ：If. the girl who has the permission to grab the dick. was on this level of seduction. [nene thoughts]

つ：maybe thats what Hanako could use…. but at this stage, she's also sortof convinced its… maybe he's not… 'into' ??????? tsukasa in this particular way…. so its difficult, confusing, to think about… like, will she. 'ruin' her own appeal in the moment of it while imitating tsukasa-kun… is it not possible to overlap these two things? are they mutually exclusive? Is there no world you can look/sound like that, chip into that, and also uh. touch his. thing

but its like well but he. [unfortunately reflecting on him] he is like.. flustered… is there some new emotion. she just wants to apprehend everything as the operative toucher here…

あ：This is the starting point of all her mulling, like, struggling to understand if these things can intersect, if it would just be clumsy and unsexy and foolish of her... So, I think the convo with Tsukasa would be a necessary little comfort, check-in

つ：tsukasa just like O YA. U SHOULD DO IT IT WOULD BE NOO PROBLEM!! HAHA SOUNDS FUN

あ：It sounds interesting!!! he insists. and even if Nene continues to have reservations like ^^; ... it's still nice to simply hear someone be like oh ya. go for it!! I mean he likes you... It's like ah yeah. Uhmm... I should trust... that. 😤

…. and then finally, when there's an "opening" it just stands out to her and makes her have to leap at it

I do just think. Nene grabbing Hanako's chin in her hands and splaying a hand to his chest would make him like deer in headlights so hard. And as she is heart-racing trying to tut him… Moe because, she won't be as practiced, kind of breathing heavily and fumbling a bit. H. Hanako-kunn… Don't you think you're being a little mean…? [… this is therapeutic bc she is just voicing her thoughts. but less like a whiny complaint, more like.. 'listen here.']

Don't you. Think you should be a little nicer…? [strokes face…]

つ：THE FEAR IN HIS SOULLL

あ：but regardless of stumbling through it, the result is the same like ///// from Hanako. which is like o-oh! ooh. [her devil horns point up]

つ：not sassing or backtalking, which was her biggest fear… mostly because like… I think if he did that, I would punch him…. and not be able to have sex for a week (the feel when someone laughs at you as you dom them) it would become so. FINE!!!!!!!!!!! RUNS AWAY

あ：OKAY TOUGH GUY!!!!!!!!!! 😭

つ：IF YOU HATE IT SO MUCH NO POON!!!

あ：Runs out of the school gates and cucks you

つ：despite the sensitivity if it happened she'd be so. BAKAAAA YOU SHOULD BE GRATEFUL WHEN A GIRL TRIES SOMETHING BOLD AND NEW!!!

あ：Yes lolf sdkghdf… like OUGHFM !FDHG D … see if i look at your cock agaim!!!!!!!!!!!!!

つ：ITS HARD!!! I'M JUST TRYING TO APPEAL TO YOU!!! ITS YOUR FAULT YOU LOOK A WAY... TSUKASA-KUN DOES IT!!!!

あ：It would be time to put hanako in teh dog house. but thankfully he is easy in this respect www… like he cannot even handle a cheek kiss with a ! cute little sentiment attached to it, flirty like.

I think he'd suddenly feel very flimsy. He's like a weedy little tree branch bending under touch

but Nene is like cmon girl you got him.. gooo…. [watching herself run hand down chest, drag over gakuran buttons] [watches as Hanako's breath catches] h-hahha.h..h.!! … ooh …. he's.. he is stare.. !!! _1 ! tsukasa who is also stare like (⓿◡⓿)

つ：yessssss. eats popcorn spiritually

あ：Hey this is pretty interesting

💭Does it really look like this..............? ❤️....

つ：hoooooot EROI!

あ：I think he is a good boy and simply plays observer, one of those… 'i can't interrupt the flow'. Like watching a scene in nature, holds breath. Tsukasa wants to see Hanako's earnest reaction with no tampering.

Mmm but i think it really is very satisfying to watch, as Hanako enters a trance, like eyes wide and completely still as her hand trails lower, reaching between legs.

'aha wow, i could never…. aha. oooh. but how convenient, amane is so receptive like this…'

the fun vibe in the room that hanako is perhaps a leetol triggered. triggered lite.

つ：nene-chan is sooo impressive… he's a good boy, he knows talking may jar her out of this, he can't cheerlead without risking breaking the mood. A good boy with a sleeve over hims mouth. drooling into it quietly. I too would like to see cock touched while this is the vibe

あ：🤤thank you nene-chan…. for letting me see this

つ：he is a little triggered, yet…. unable to react to it appropriately and knowledgeably, because it is Nene….. Yashiro! It's… accosting, in a different way.. he doesn't… know? feel ? anything about shoving her off….

あ：It's much like how on the roof , the uahh, the misfiring… I think it's just a strange mental space, it's familiar and yet….

つ：I think Nene given any power is good at running with it, once it works…. I think girl could ask him questions and try to stoke him to tell her what he'd like, keep rubbing his tummy , at his belt… trace the belt. Sortof improvise and improve on Tsukasa's methods… Tsukasa stays above the belt…. but she can, ah, do the little finger-tracing and delicate touches, but here… looping around the buckle, lightly fiddling with it, jingling it… the sound of the metal clicking against metal makes Hanako anxious, but it's not actually being unfastened yet..

anxious. and also. sick. fidgeting a lot. FIDGETING !!

あ：I do think she takes to it well. it simply… feels good to wield… It is undeniably satisfying to have someone like Hanako being wide-eyed and pleading, trembling… Ah you love normie girl tbh just due to the sheer, like -- a girl who hasn't gotten a taste of many concepts. but organically she can just feel like hanako looks very sweet like this and in need of her help, ohh… let me take care of it…….. …… 🤍

つ：what I would actually love to happen is Hanako to come thru his pants

あ：Yes . ooh. I think it is unique when he is pre ejac… as someone whose problem is usually being too constipated to relax and just let loose. more prone to being suspended in sensations for a while

つ：while she is asking him what he'd like…. what he needs… if he can tell her… its like his brain crystallizes, the, phrases, like, suck me off, JERK ME OFF, SUCK ME OFF SUCK ME OFF!!!! SIT ON MYCOCK JERKMEOFF and just having those thoughts and barely stuttering is… it. can't conceptualize it without, losing it

あ：Oh it's like your brain is overwhelmed to conceptualize things happening while you feel like this. so heart racing blood rushing head fogged I'm already so horny i feel sick i cant. fhgh f….

つ：the triggered state… combined with being asked to form, concepts, IN this heady, dizzy, hazey state, visualizing his own voice asking….

あ：… tsukasa uncontrollably making an utterance at the sight, like -- UOHHH.

つ：JUST SOOO SURPRISED

clasps mouth afterwards and looks around like a animal what knows it misbehaved. I think hanako would be. Face behind hands. Like Tsukasa's voice makes him jump, immediately after also being JARRED BY NUTTING feels like he was in a roller coaster mid drop. its like Tsukasa suddenly manifested into the room too. And he's got vision again feels like he's been blind for 10 minutes. Seeing Yashiro in relative clarity staring at him like :y because she can't control it

she's like y.. yyesss. fist pump

あ：a girl who just has to feel like YATTA lol…. Ehehe. 😈

つ：Hanako SHRINKING beet red. crumbling from the upright position onto his back flat covering face. closing his legs knees trying to edge to chest. moving to his side

あ：Perhaps a girl cannot help but feel like acquiring nut so quick is simply testament to skill and sheer effectiveness. i got you good

つ：but I also think amusingly he cant think like, "yashiro was acting like tsukasa" fkljkl its more like "why was yashiro acting so mysterious and different… " there is no pin dropping that it was an imitation, yet

あ：Nooo your boy is so far from it... It's just like. Why did Yashiro do.. that... sh-sheesh. wtf.....

つ：imperceptive little oaf like a-am I that into... [some sort of AV voice] Female Domination? No... why.... why did I....

あ：Is… izzat….? No. ,,,, ,f. ,, !? wouldnt i know that about myself Enters the fetal position.

つ：she pets him. … leans down to his ear… says….. I'm glad you liked it, Hanako-kun…. I want to do things that you like… ^^

あ：oh anghhhhhhhhhh the cock pain. [VISIBLY SHUDDERS AND CURLS IN ON SELF MORE.] the sheer driiipd rip drip [hides face more. clutches hat]

つ：[fear] noo i cant gmnfk i canmt do it agiamn.. I'M SICK I'VE GOT A FEVER AGAIN…

あ：[covers ear with hand… like …. DONT TALK TO ME.]

psfdhg you can just imagine nene turnign to tsukasa and being like 😜👍

つ：fdsljfdksl;f yEAA he's like TWOOO THUMBS UP!!!

あ：😝👍👍!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

つ：this silent like both nodding so vigorously. touching foreheads. jazz hands

あ：While we have a moment to ourselves.

つ：anyway I love getting Hanako to a peak difficult state so Nene can be mindbroken into being like. . .[SO ANGRY] [SHOVES HIM DOWN] [STARTS JERKING HIM OFF] [laying it on brutally as hard as she possibly can] NE, NE! AMANE, AMANE, AMANE~ [leans in close, licks his eye]

あ：Oh the. the mindbreakening.

つ：using all of my theories and observances to fucking drag you into the dirt with me, you crazy bastard, trying to ,make ME into the weirdo!! Trying to make MEEE seem like the weirdo, when im just trying to play into what YOU LIKE FDKLFJDKL!!! JUST TRYING TO BE A PART OF THINGS!!! WTF

its not FAIR tsukasa-kun can playfully imitate me, wtf we have such fun, we're so fine, this is such a normal mutual… THING, he's being so!!! URHG

あ：A girl can only take so much. It's unfair for Hanako to act like this is some perversion of hers, or that her and Tsukasa are being strange and creepy -- indeed when, the point, is, it's to cater to you. YOU, LIKE IT, I FEEL THAT YOU LIKE IT-- QUANTIFIABLY. and it's SWEET! it should be sweet that you like it idiot, I LIKE TSUKASA-KUN, he's cute and nice and loves you, WE LOVE YOU WTF. but of course we do, we all like what is going on between us, we all like each other

[furiously jerking him off… like faster than she has before ever, gonna really strangle it]

Mnh but you love the effectiveness of how much Hanako will buckle under it… especially as he's already gotten so conditioned to lean into it, mind is eager for the pleasures…

The thing is I think Nene can also feel really mad on Tsukasa's behalf, with whom she has watched be VERY BUZZING EXCITED but quiet, respectful, biting his hands watching her do things. and later talking to her about it in private, praising her for being so brave and commenting on how much Amane loved it uueeeee

つ：[kindof.. an edge to her voice, it's held in place by her]….. maybe we both like it. Are you calmer, about that…. if you don't have to be alone. [squinting, internally…. its very hard to be… confident. but, Tsukasa is a good inspiration….] you don't have to, you know….. and isn't it nice… that I'm…. trying to solve this for you…..? Aren't you…! grateful…..! [less of an efficient imitation, more of her own self… a nice transition between the tones!]

don't… you want… to feel everything… at once? … I wanted that for you….. [pauses…. licks face….]

あ：It's interesting to have Hanako in a state where he really can't meaningfully shake off anything, not in the kind of state where he can earnestly shove or pull away. I think he just cries… was already hyperventilating and wet-eyed having to hear Yashiro's voice say Amane so enthusiastically. I think the last sentence is literally too much, the idea of 'everything at once'… i think this would push him into like choking, cut off sobs. face twists and tears really stream. A… miserable groan. twists to hide face

It feeeeels so painful to be proposed the idea of 'everything'. Miserable… betrayal… why would you want me to conceptualize this…? 'everything'…. [intrinsically this is impossible to enjoy w/o trouble] [crying internally] I DON'T NEED 'EVERYTHING'! I DON'T WANT 'EVERYTHING'

つ：anyway... Nene would cry too, honestly.. the... stress. tension... buildup! feeling so distraught and pulled many ways about this all.... it's very hard to be sexually experimental...

but it's less ah, overt than Hanako's, she's still functional and continuing, whereas I think he's quite... overwhelmed, physically, in so many ways...

あ：Surely feels defeated to be taken away from her cloud She did just think she got to win like.. smooth sailing, just doing it good and winning yay Thinking it was just buckets

つ：its a good state to be rambling, and self-supporting, despite Hanako's breakdown… still rambling…. like.. I felt so good about myself… I felt like I was solving something. For you

there's something you're holding back… I can tell. I feel like. I'm getting through it…. [still jerking him off]

you sometimes look like ….. …. it feels so good, that you feel bad…… it's………!!!! [SQUEEZING EYES SHUT] HOT….!

あ：utterly terrifying things to hear. i think it would really make him feel cleaved for a second. when an accusation simply lands

つ：IT'S HOT… SO I WANNA DO IT!! [somehow. faster. eyes closed]IF IT NOT FOR YOU, THEN IT CAN BE FOR ME…. SO THEN, ENDURE IT MAYBE…?? [this isn't like tsukasa-kun at all anymore I've lost the plot, help]]

a good state of mind to move to sit on it… a good frame of mind to ride a boy. following her heart's song

tsukasa in the doorway neither of them have noticed, licking an ice cream cone: o: wow cool things happening in here. licks ice cream

あ：[clawing own face, peering at her through slits of fingers, eyes squinted in pain]

…. despite how overwhelming, i think they've actually been training hanako to be better at sustaining himself during this state, so he isn't nearly as shut down as the first time. it's like ahh, going from being unable to survive this for more than 30 seconds, to like, being able to keep his eyes trained on Nene as she moves

You're just getting so acclimated to this kind of mental state. mnnn being ridden… goooood sensation to overlay

つ：riding… getting breathier, a bit… calmer, in a sense… maybe tranquil is the word….. I can see…. why Tsukasa-kun… goes on…. abbbout… d. desire…. you….. you make it so…! R.. rare… for all of us …. so we're…. … [embarrrasssiing…] …. d. desperate!!! maybe its… your fault, he's like that…. ['like' 'that']….. maybe I…! Get it now!

あ：Ouhm give a guy vertigo. bbbut i think- i think it's like, Hanako is finally capable of managing a reply in this state. for once. swallowing, then speaking hoarsely.. "Y. You." mouth twinges. "You sound. Crazy." arching spine, tilting head back, rubbing face. hands sliding down throat and chest and clutching at her dress.

"You can't want. everything."

Yyyyou can't really. Want. Everything!!! [fucking… my brain is inflamed thinking about how 'everything' relates to. MURDER.]

つ：oh he cant control that feefee. that everthing encompasses his. kill you brain

あ：[WE KEEP THESE THINGS PARTITIONED FOR A REASON YOU SHOULDN'T CROSS CONTAMINATE ACTUALLY….] [YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT I AM AFRAID OF-!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

つ："You make me crazy." teeth firmly together… "you make me want everything."

あ：head gets thrown back, thok. GROANS… claws at her thighs. like nononono don'ts ay thaaat hhghh.g.ghh… reflexively, rolls his hips up into her, first contact really pushing up against, meeting her motions. Feels like he cannot see straight.

"You c… an't. You can't want that."

… it all continues to reverb through his skull though like ahshghdf…. cannot control self from wanting to move more fervidly in response. its just liek ahhfh hhhg i fuck

つ： girlish whines…. feeling a little victory, finally, a relief, a little less coiled tummy to feel him return it, despite what he's saying… "N-not, it's not fair! you want me to be obsessed with you-- COMPLETELY obsessed with you-- and-- and and yet there's-- there's a too far?"

Tsukasa's voice, from above.. standing "Amane… it's not fair!" [imitating Nene…!] she nearly jumps out of her skin though [griffin seeing his creations again after tabbing away] OUFH very feet at either side of Amane's head lol… leaning down, hands behind his back. ^^

あ：oh it's like the boss has entered its second phase …. head creaks, tilting back to look up, mouth parted. stares up towards.

hmm… i think it creates this like. hypnotized quality. like he's really suddenly in a dream… but i don't think his feeble little amane brain has fully married the concepts of being in this mental state + nene touching sexually, AND the concept of tsukasa being there. like he's been in too much of a delirium to really process the other body in the room. going… still, going quiet, just staring up at tsukasa. then, eyes darting back to nene, as if to verify that she's still there… but the point of heat where her hips saddle onto him is so searingly hot. warm warm body of hers…

つ："Nene-chan has been very brave… and honest! She's been keeping so much inside…." squats down, arms resting on knees….. Nene nods in agreement to him, embarrassed that he's. . been here. for this. but. feeling also like th-thank god… s. support. fight him with me tsukasa-kun!

"Nene-chan dreams of something more than what we have… isn't that amazing, Amane? She can imagine it even better!"

あ：hiccups sniffs

つ："Nene-chan doesn't deserve to be kept from anything….. right?" holding either side of his face in his hands… as Nene rides him, frankly just feeling his words so ssso hard, liking to listen

"You can't wall things off from her…. not if she's going to beg you like this, right? She' s saying she wants everything….. and…." a nice pause….. a breath in, out. luxuriating. "I don't mind sharing everything."

lol nene-chan can have a little murderous lust❤️ as a treat cant sheeeee lollll i think soooo

psycho to psycho communication as nene thinks this is just about boners and being horny and maybe some weird twin stuff and not. the. murder feelings

あ：the extra presence in the room is helpful.... it... strips the previous argumentive, resisting quality, leaves behind something very raw and feeble. finally not speaking on what nene can/can't feel. instead he looks up at tsukasa, eyes wide, listening to everything.... whines. "It's. Scary."

つ：interesting to her. makes her pause, feels like.. new dialogue unlocked…. progress….. rests a hand on hanako's stomach. Tsukasa nods.

"ne… ne, it is scary…." stroking his face sympathetically, in that caring lilt he can have….. "Nene-chan, is it okay if it's scary?"

she… n. nods…. kinda like. mmm… [idiot brain] mmm… Hanako-kun's passion….? i-is it… uhm… is it so intense…. doki doki "f.. feelings can be scary… I-I know… I'm sure.. Hanako-kun… has a, a reason, to… to be nervous…"

tsukasa thinking of scariness as like a category. as there involves things suchas blood and stabstab, it suits a genre like a movie or something. he isn't afraid of it himself… but it has 'scary things' in it.

あ：Ouhh… it feels like he is kind of being tricked into having some sort of session about. the murder guilt but being soothed about it with pets and gentle voice and pussy. MNMNO!!!

つ：tsukasa preempting feeling him tensing and strokes his sternum calmly a cute lil moment where nene joins and their fingies touch over Hanako…. freely rubbing him, each other…

あ：A prickle of panic… twists head back and forth. animal in a snare vibes. oh the snare though. so effective. mgh. on his end, like, clawing against nene and alternating and clawing at tsukasa's arms… tug tug…

つ：tsukasa has sunk onto his knees, through this all. "Amane… isn't it exciting…. to include Nene-chan…?" but ah, Nene makes a noise.

"isn't it…! exciting! To include Tsukasa-kun!"

… "… Nene-chan and I want what the other has………" charmed… squinty-smiling… and mouth breathing… its like a ahhhmmm… okaaayyym a good time to admit I like what she has❤️ because she is being so direct~ ….. "We want everything…." "you have…….." "to give us."

あ：Oh this is the most i think hanako has had the : RUN. instinct. it's sad but it just cannot be easy, must become kick kick kick scrabbling, trying to twist, is going to jostle Nene a bit as he does, thrashing in tsukasa's grip. It's not coordinated though… it can't be as effective as it ought to be, and is confused, like he doesn't stop gripping and pulling on their clothes…

but i think actually it'd be engaging to have to hold him firmly, nene really having to saddle with hips and tsukasa wrangling him by the shoulders

but- also- nene could feel the way his muscles tensed and cock was seizing in response to their words, directly, feels body trembling and responsive

つ：i like that it could devolve into a rape, and nene horny and involved enough and mmm receiving the intel... i likeeee

あ：Simply entering the mindset of knowing what's best for Hanako in this moment his pulling away and twisting slips him out of her a lil…

つ：in this position…. I think Tsukasa kissing him for the first time would be just sssssso decadent. Nene's so horny and. observing it, in her position, riding him…. and is really feeling so much kinship and solidarity with him, and sortof brokenhearted to have suddenly heard tsukasa ADMIT that.. he's also jealous…. in such a moment, she's just, heartache….. so seeing tsukasa go for a kiss can only feel like. 1. tsukasa knows what he's doing…. 2. this is a beautiful moment for tsukasa-kun and 3. he and I are the same, here, on opposite ends. whatever hanako is holding back, is somehow something tsukasa-kun is familiar with

I likee a period of nearly slipping out, and this being so precarious its going to happen a few times… repeatedly… but its' kinda just effectively sliding him in and out and forcing her to be unable to stay still for even a second, and bare down harder….

あ：Hm the realness of the rape… feelinggg pinned between these two and overwhelmed… flushed face, crying… Ohh but the contrast of sheer soothe of kiss, i think it's really like kfkgh .. gnmhf … [LIFTS HIPS DRAMATICALLY IN TANDEM]… . but not to escape just raising off the ground… embarr but he cannot like think. anymore. i think kiss erases thoughts

mm thinking about all the weight rested on from really grinding against base of cock…

つ：a jaw-dropping experience for Nene…. sklfjsd she's in such a sympathetic state about it all its just like-- THATS SO NICE FOR TSUKASA-KUN😭 HE RESPONDED SO HARD--!!!! good job!!! APE TOGETHER STRONG

あ：the pearl fusion icon tweeting ape together strong

つ：ape TOGETHERRRR

あ：i think it should just be swish buckets for them, like oh he's sincerely so physically horny for it, your words ARE getting into him and making him feel sick sick nauseatingly horny, he wants it sooo badly too, its killing him. START. SNAPPING HIPS. PUMPING. FUCKING!! its just like hats off to you sir and madame

つ：such a aouguhhgOHGOK FINEFINEFINEFINE SEX SEXSEX!!!!1

あ：arms scrabble like a dying roach in the air. grabs her hips and pulls her down against him harsher.

the most FFFfifnfifine fine fine fine FUCK SEX FUCK GFH FUCK YOU!!! FUCK YOU FUCKIGN YOU!! YASHIRO!!! !! fgh

つ：mmm nice to devolve into pumping sooo hard into nene while just making out with tsukasa…. who is like: didnt think it would go this good. kinda braindead. cumrot

tsukasa open to anything including hanako just like blasting them to the ceiling, a hubris is OK. didn't… plan… on it panning out this…. wwell…! you'd think he'd be like, heeeheehoo! but he's more like . [hollowed gourd brain]

あ：completely black circle pit eyes

つ：feeling mouth… breath lips…. very. recieving sensations. having a difficult time actually seeing them as a whole and not recieving them peicemeal. its hard to connect every bit of this situation, once he's got the….. thing. the thing…. ? its so ? [unable to congeal that it is happening]

chu…. has been this abstract lil word… like tha thought of it, chyuuuuuuu. staring so pit eyes over everything

あ：oh to get to feel… amane himself, licking teeth…. if tsukasa's brain faltering just meant that he could feel amane moving against him ardently in the interlude reciprocation…

i think also his hands alternate back and forth between them… grasping nene, then pawing back up at tsukasa's face, tugging at shirt collar

つ：very... too open mouthed, for a kiss, often... like he cant remember to keep just his lips like, together and close... so its easier and almost inevitable for amane to lick teeth. and being excited causes him to open it more and forget to keep it a lil more closed.... alternating between remembering to try to kiss and [air blowing through ears]

あ：Moe charm of simply never having kissed and also really being interested in it like a little kid. unsure of what kiss entails. while amane has, kiss protocols, has done makeouts…

つ：for nene she is just finally being fucked which has her preoccupied. but between seeing stars she likes: the visage. feels… feels like she did, a good, thing. it was good… was good girl…. this… feels like… 'it'…. crystallizing, what this should be… what it's been missing

and feeling a unique kind of elation to think tsukasa wasn't merely patient and gracious, but was a… bit envious/jealous of her….? its… nice to think it wasn't just her selfishly and greedily wanting more, but together they were both wanting something the other seemed to have access to… she no longer feels pathetic

mm yes an experienced amane and a clueless tsukasa who doesn't know practically speaking what kiss is like… so moe. another thing for nene to observe like ah kawaii…. its nice to see tsukasa… in such an, inexperienced little state….

あ：really something to spectate… watching amane be kiss thirsty and pursue it readily himself. it's like … well tfw observing hanako and being like : whore.

つ：the girlies need to bond over their whore

あ：my whore bf. who is really REALLY tonguing his brother. huuuuu... i've got you now

つ：i am going to know this forever now

あ：the score has been settled the beef done been squashed

つ：the b-- the beef [bf]

あ：wow.

and then you get to hear 💞hanako come💞 and the sound get muffled in tsukasa's mouth normal things.

つ：NEW EMOTIONS NEW OBSERVATIONS MMNNANUGHN. [calm] Hanako was right actually. I think I have a fetish

あ：Maybe so.

つ：uhhh… me likey

あ：[haughty] but I wasn't wrong. and also it is his fetish OUR fetish

つ：and its fuckin definitely tsukasa's fetish

あ：.. Oh right, I was thinking a lot of the umm… Aftermath of the threeway… For starters, the immediate physical details were alluring to think about, like… Nene slowing down movements until she stills, slumped over Hanako, breathing heavily, feeling him still inside… I thinks he feels just overwhelmingly good, physically, aha, like once the tension breaks in her mind and Hanako is soo very much reciprocating both her & Tsukasa she simply feels like good girl got what she wanted. Getting to feel the steady aftershocks and twitches, jumps, also just very…💞 wee….mmm… [rubs his stomach and chest…]

While Hanako is just like. Recovering. From being uhh a tiny bit assaulted, I imagine him very boneless feeling, head tilted back, panting… With Tsukasa still hovering close by, mouth still open and sort of… like unmoving from the kiss position, breathing heavily, staring… Hanako would be rendered rather speechless, shrunk, in the end, just laying for a long time with eyes closed, climbing down steadily from that all. I think Tsukasa and Nene look at each other like🥺 …. [rubbing him in tandem] [Tsukasa lays down to clutch his side] …. You just wait for his brain to come back. But this is so. Like try not to freakout challenge for Hanako -- because I think his brain is buzzing with hearing both Tsukasa express such desperation and insistence -- but it's like [cries] I literally can't handle being horny about it again.. calm down calm down… shhhfhg… [tries to focus on just staring at ceiling, squeezing whoever's hand is in his] … Be cool be calm be calm it's fine it happened okay shhh………. [mouth wiggles] … simply in the mindset of 'I want to survive this. I don't want to get mad at them, I don't want to cry more, I don't want to panic, I don't want to assess my feelings. I want to be empty.

… he can't help but be so troubled. BUT! i think functionally it just means he quietly requests coddling and submits to being excessively rubbed and pet. and hides his face, inhales… focuses on scents and textures instead…. And the other two just get to bask for a while.

and, like, if Nene at all tried to be like ……. ……. …🥴 … see…? ……….. was good, wasn't it. (in the tone of: you silly…) I do think Hanako would be like BITES TONGUE from making ANY sort of commentary like. i cannot incur anything by being snippy or shitty or defensive HOLD THINE TONGUE, SAY NOTHING. but this just means it forces him to have like a stop gap before retorting, like. curbing the reflexive Shut up. [looks like his mouth is full for a second, lips pursed.] [… exhales…] …………… …………. .. .[listlessly] yeah.

… uncontrollably nene has to feel kinda like :y … .. ……. agreeable Hanako-kun…. ….. .. i like him.

つ：ah its funny, that sortof… hanako organically in a state of acquiring a sort of aftercare, functionally. I like him being so bone deep troubled but bottling it up. I think nene is utterly blind, but Tsukasa is very aware this is troubling. Tsukasa is listening to his heartbeat, and petting his sweaty, twitching palm. simply enjoying it, though.

tsukasa knows this is in fact a long road to hoe, and nothing has actually been 'resolved'. Nene perceives this as finally solving something-- Tsukasa perceives it as merely pulling the blanket off the mess

あ：Definitely understands this isn't the final form of this, we're sooo only at the precipice, tip of the iceberg. We just managed to stop Amane from running successfully long enough to indulge. But Tsukasa knooows that Amane is capable of being an active participant, he's just not there yet. oh but it will be so worth it to see what he could become… [rope of drool]

The concept of Amanes that have yet to be experienced (blending impassioned murderer with direct sexual acts…) so so rich to think about

つ：its like mmm if nene-chan wishes to start this…. I am not going to stand in her way❤️ he knows she probably isn't actually ready for any of this entails… but she wants it. so she deserves to kickstart it. Tsukasa I think is even enjoying spectating Nene's pure, blithe, blissful happiness, knowing she's due for some harsh awakenings of the reality, and what it will mean to access the part of Amane only Tsukasa knows.

あ：he sees self in her. I think this increases the sheer kinship and oneness between them, to Tsukasa… and in a way, it's like, watching a version of himself that is new to Amane. Isn't that beautiful and amazing…!? If Tsukasa could be mind wiped and get to experience those parts of Amane… but also, to jump into them SO intensely, aaaah…. It almost feels like -- I wouldn't rob you of such a glorious experience, girl….

If your heart is magnetizing you here, it is because you want it, of course you do. Of course you want it so badly and would do anything for it. Of course, of course… Couldn't fathom depriving her of the experience. But Tsukasa is so "trust the process" guy , I don't think it can feel underhanded or malicious to walk Nene here. Both Amane and her deserve it…

I was actually getting a little emo thinking about, like, the mutuality of imitating & learning from one another though… I think Tsukasa is more capable of umm, thinking beyond the parameters of just 'we are two people who relate' but actually go a next layer, a maybe delusional sort of confidence lol, that they ARE the same, they feel the very same things. They want the same things. We actually are the same agents. Almost, like, being loved by Amane, and feeling the appropriate response to that (desire to submit, have everything, be his…) makes them the same. we're made of the same material. matching!!

つ：as a result, he can extremely trust the process… ah it WOULD feel like robbing nene of something to advise her against this… he would love to have the experience of directly getting to interface with the switch of amane's love and violence. in his mind he may as well be stabbed at age 4 once amane is so excited/relieved to see him again.

あ：and Tsukasa thinking of this just can only feel: that would be so awesome. I'VE already experienced my kind of slowburn and got kiwwed in da end, YOU should get to have your own experience. especially if you're seeking it out!!

[thegranddewru]

Not Netflix and the Persuasion 2022 writers seeing Anne exactly the same way all the shitty characters in the book saw her and therefore needing to change her into someone else entirely.

[lady-griffin]

Kat, Rina, and Katarina

Katarina Claes, in whatever timeline, is still Katarina Claes. She is always the reincarnated girl she once was, whether or not she regains her memories. 

I feel that isn’t talked about much. So, I want to talk about the similarities (and differences) between--  

Katarina in Her Former Life – Kat

Original Timeline/Game Katarina – Rina

Our Katarina – Katarina

I’m giving Katarina’s different lives separate names, because when I first wrote this out it was basically Knives Out – except instead of the repetition of Donut, Donut-hole, and hole it was just Katarina.

It got confusing and was impossible for me to follow and I’m the one who wrote it.

Spoilers Below

Katarina and Rina

There are major differences between Katarina and Rina. It is a major plot point in the story.

But those differences are not as stark as we might initially think.

Their differences, in my view, are in what Katarina and Rina care about and value and their personality behaviors – not so much their personality traits, so to speak.

For example. Both Rina and Katarina exhibit an envious trait towards others.

How they behave and act in regard to that one trait, though, is the difference in their personalities. But that difference, doesn’t change the negative trait of being envious that they share in the first place.

Katarina and Rina Similarities

Envious. Rina takes it out on others, while Katarina internalizes it and takes it out on herself.

Neither is a genius nor academically gifted.

They have a simple and straight-forward way of thinking. Highly complicated plans and truly deceitful manipulative ways, aren’t exactly their forte. While that may not seem true of Rina -- In the Spinoff Manga, Geordo states that complicated, deceitful plans weren’t Rina’s way.

Both are dense and oblivious. Neither is fully aware of their surroundings or what’s going on in other people’s minds.

They act on their whims and impulses without much forethought. Rina with her bullying and selfishness and Katarina with food, having fun, and her enthusiasm/eagerness.

Both can be quite prideful, especially when it comes to skills that aren’t really that impressive or life-changing. Rina with her earth bump and Katarina with her tree-climbing skills.

They are physically affectionate people. Rina was a lot more selective, but we’ve seen how she acted towards her father and Geordo.

Neither is a demure, ladylike girl. While Rina might care more about social standing and society, she’s not a model of true ladylike behaviors and qualities.

Both have a largely inaccurate perception of themselves. In the spinoff, Katarina does see herself more clearly as she regained her former memories when she was 15.

Both can be quick to anger and can be quite terrifying when mad.  

People are drawn to both Katarina and Rina, however, the kind of people they draw in are vastly different.  

The BIG DIFFERENCE between Katarina and Rina is less what kind of person they are, but what they value as a person.

Rina valued her looks, proper society and social standing as well as other shallow things.

Katarina doesn’t put much value into proper society or at least doesn’t care enough to internalize it. She values other people, their feelings and lives, as well as her future.

While we get people, particularly in the beginning, noticing and commenting on how different Katarina is after she hits her head.

Is it so much a difference in personality or are the shared traits of Katarina and Rina simply being redirected in other ways?

Katarina and Kat

On the opposite end, it comes across as though Katarina is just Kat and nothing more.

But that’s not true.

While, we can’t ignore the simple fact that 17-years of memories (Kat) dumped into one’s head when they’re 8-years-old (Rina) is obviously going to impact and influence said person profoundly (Katarina).

A lot of Katarina’s traits that we associate with her aren’t just due to her former life’s memories.

We can see that Katarina does take after her Mother and Father - Duke and Duchess Claes. Katarina exhibits traits and behaviors that are clearly inherited and learned from those two. 

Her father’s overall dopiness, loving nature, and enthusiasm for those he loves.

And while it may not seem like it, Katarina is more similar to her mother than either would like to admit.

I’m not sure what to call it exactly, but the way her mother reacts to Katarina is not exactly ladylike either – so the kind of energy(?) they each exhibit is very much the same.  

It’s just that Duchess Claes doesn’t exhibit it as much as Katarina, because she values proper society and manners, though, Katarina certainly brings it out in her.

So, Katarina is more than just Kat.

Even though Katarina was clearly shaped by who she was when she was Kat – with her values and interests.

Her love of reading and stories.

Her love of romance stories or romance in general.

Her fear of dogs

Her love of food – particularly sweets.

Her interests in the outdoors – tree-climbing and fishing

How she doesn’t care about appearances or what she should be doing as “a girl”

So, I can see how it can come across as Kat just waking up in Rina’s body and life (with Rina’s memories).

But is that really the case? No.

Katarina

To me, for the most part, it always really came across Rina gaining 17-years of Kat’s memories and becoming the Katarina we know and love. 

Which is why, for me, the anime was smart in introducing us first to Rina. It makes it feel significantly less of a ‘body-snatcher’ story. 

Because if it was just Kat inside Rina’s body and life, well than there is no difference between Katarina and what Sirius’s mother tried to do to Raphael. 

And that’s all kinds of horrifying. 

But that’s not the case. Katarina is not what almost happened to Raphael and we know this for a few simple reasons. 

1. We never learn what her name was in her former life. So, it’s always Katarina we’re talking about.

2. Sophia is A-Chan reincarnated (like Katarina/Rina and Kat). 

Though Sophia hasn’t regained her former life’s memories, we and Katarina notice similarities between Sophia and A-Chan. Indicating, that would’ve likely been true of Kat and Rina, even if Rina never regained her memories 

3. The narrative treats what happened to Katarina (Rina) vastly different from what almost happened to Raphael, in terms of his body being taken over by Sirius. 

So, while it might seem like Katarina is more Kat than Rina or Kat is inside the body/life of Rina – that’s not the case.  

Katarina returns to her former life and while the focus is more on her saying goodbye to her former life. It’s also clear that Katarina doesn’t belong in her old life anymore, because she is no longer Kat. And to fit in her old life, Katarina’s memories fade away. 

Katarina, because of what she’s experienced as Kat and Rina separately, but also what she’s experienced as herself, is what make her, well Katarina, someone who is different from both Kat and Rina.

Katarina greatly loves being outdoors and seems to excels at tasks that involve physical labor - her fieldwork, being the best example.

While initially inspired and influence from her previous life as Kat, Katarina has gone beyond what Kat was capable of doing.

Katarina is a very extroverted and social girl. Since we only know of A-Chan and since Rina only had followers, that’s doesn’t seem to be the case for either one of them.

Katarina is not only well-liked, but is genuinely popular. While some don’t like her, they seem to be the minority.

Katarina is extremely and genuinely charming and magnetic to others.  She changes the people she meets and befriends; beyond anything she was capable as Kat and Rina.

Katarina is a profoundly empathetic and sympathetic. 

Rina was pure selfishness and Kat while not pure selflessness to say the very least, was a decent person from what we have seen.

And while, Katarina can be selfish and self-involved, at the end of the day she’s someone whose heart goes out to others. 

Her response to the Dark Magic User after learning about them (even though they went after her and took Maria) is to feel sad for them. 

She knows how difficult it was for Keith with his magic, so she is quick to imagine it was the same for the Dark Magic User and sympathizes with them.  

Similarly, she connects to a girl who is not nice to Katarina, because of the similarity in their “villain-like faces.”

Katarina is a truly compassionate individual.  

Conclusion

Katarina is not just Kat nor is she a completely different person from Rina.

In fact, all three are the same person at their core - because well they literally are the same soul – they all have jsut lived through different experiences and environments which have shaped them differently.

And while I do realize giving Katarina separate names from her former life and who she was in the original timeline and talking about them as though they are separate people undercuts my overall point. 

It still stands.

In whatever timeline or situation, she exists in, Katarina is still Katarina. She is Kat and Rina and the two of them combined, as well as more than just them, so to speak. 

The three may be different, but they are all Katarina, in one form or another.

[aspiestvmusings]

ZEP PARALLELS: S2 vs S1

POSSIBLE SPOILERS?

WARNING: Super long post. 

Parallels & Similarities (and differences) between S1 & S2

Includes episodes 2x01, 2x02, 2x03: 

2x01 Zoeys Extraordinary Return

Wake-up songs/Zoey & Mo: Opening the season with Zoey being woken up by Mo singing "in real life" & waking her up. "Rise up" in 2x01 AND "Angel of the Morning/Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" in 1x01. We first see Zoey in her bedroom. And the first two characters we meet are Zoey & Mo.

Zoey + baby: In both premieres Zoey has an encounter with a baby. In 2x01 we see her interact with her brother's son (the new baby, Miles) VS in 1x01 she encounters  new mom with a baby on the cable car during the first ever big musical number she experiences (Help!) #whenwillshestarttohearthebabysheartsongs 

Clarkeman & Coffee: The first Zoey/Max scene/interactions happens over "coffee break before work". In 2x01 we see them meting up for a coffee on a park bench before she heads over to work VS in 1x01 we see them getting coffee at the cofee bar on their way to work. In both scenes Max, her best friend, encourages/supports her (you will get the promotion VS it's a shield...to shield you from the world when you need it").

Jumping to conclusions: In 2x01 Zoey assumes that Max giving her the small jewelry box means he's proposing ("Relax, I'm not proposing") VS In 1x02 Zoey assumes that Max is asking her on a romantic dinner date, when he tells her he won the lottery to the restaurant they both love. ("Thursday night. Is it a date?" / "Is it a date?" "No! I just mean like can you go?")

Legs up!: Peoples legs getting close to Zoey's face during big musicals numbers: Leif's & Simon's during "Hello Dolly" in 2x01 at the 4th floor bullpen VS Joan's during "Satisfaction" in the elevator in 1x03. 

Promotion: In 1x01 Zoey wants the promotion & has an "interview" with Joan to get it VS in 2x01 she does not want the new job (added responsibility, when she jsut wants to "lay low") but Joan just asks her to take it. And by the end of the episode she gets the promotion/accepts the promotion, and we see her "first day at work on the new job". And in both episodes she has a competitor - Leif, who is also interested in a promotion. 

Interesting: In 2x01 Mo tells Zoey "So the powers are back - you're interesting again!" VS 1x01 when she tells him about her new superpower Mo tells Zoey: "This is the 1st thing I find remotely interesting about you". 

Mo is the honest friend: In 2x01 Mo speaks the honest truth... which is what Zoey actually needs to hear JUST LIKE he has been doing throughout S1. He might not always say the nicest things, but he's alwyas honest. And its what Zoey's character needs. (eg. Mo knows that she just lost her dad & it's a hard time for her, but her problems are still not bigger than everyone elses. Or like he calls her out on her chase/hesitation over the two teams in S1)

Tech-savvy Zoey to the rescue: In 2x01 Zoey uses her tech skills to "hack into Mitch's e-mail account" when her mom can't find the password & access it for info she needs (that dad left them) VS in1x03 Zoey comes up with a way to communicate with Mitch... (after David comes up with the Yes/No buzzer) & creates a computer program which allows him to type his answers using a mouse. 

Etsy: In 2x01 Joan tells Zoey "I like your sweater, its cute that you shop at Etsy" VS in 1x01 Tobin tells Zoey: "I thought you would be doing each others nails & buying matching tote-bags off Etsy in there."

Blessing or curse? In 1x12 Zoey told her dad that she has chosen to look at her musical power more like a "gift/blessing" (it allowed her to communicate with dad, helped her form bonds with others, help people...) and she said she's not minding the big musical numbers the way she used to. She even considers they're helpin g her instead. VS in 2x01 she tells Mo that she hopes the power won't return & when it does, she finds it "overwhelming" & cannot deal with any of it. 

Bottling it up: In 2x01 George sings "Don't cry out loud. Just keep it inside. And learn how to hide your feelings."  That song is as much about George's feelings about being the new guy, as it is another reference to Zoey's state of mind VS in 1x01 we learn that both Zoey & Simon keep their grief emotions bottled up (and they should not). As the dilogue from the Pilot already told us: Zoey: "Are you talking to anyone about this?" Simon: "Other than you? No. I've become a real expert of bottling my shame & pain, and hiding it from the world." Zoey: "I'm not an expert on this or anything, but you cant just keep it in."

Family & Grief: The Clarke family all singing "Carry on" & sitting down the table to eat dinner together at the end of 2x01... with a happy note about the future in their minds VS The Clarke family all singing "American Pie" on the funeral day at the end of 1x12, and all sitting at the living room (on the coach, chairs)...with a sad note about the present in their minds. 

The premiere episodes end with a "surprise" Max (and Zoey) "twist": ep 1x01 ends with a surprise heart song from Max which makes Zoey & the viewers aware of his feelings for her VS 2x01 ends with a surprise decision from Zoey where she "chooses Max". Also parallels to 1x12: in both 2x01 & 1x12 Zoey comes onto/kisses Max as he's telling her about his new outlook on life & business ideas. In both cases she's (partly) trying to forget grieving her dad, and needs him for the distraction. Both endings were "sudden" & "unexpected"

Family picture wall: In 2x01 Maggie is holding baby Miles (her grandson) & "showing him" the family photos on the wall VS in 1x01 Zoey sees her & dad's reflection on the picture on the wall...as Mitch first communictes with her... by singing his first heart song to her.  

Move forward: Zoey's words to Max about the business plans & their relationship actually apply as much to herself and her grief as they do for this situation: "You should absolutely move forward with it" & "You always have to move forward" 

2x02 Zoeys Extraordinary Distraction [+ (base)balls]

Hooking up: In 2x02 Zoey says to Max "we have been hooking up for the last 5 minutes" VS in 1x12 she tells her dad "I just hooked up with my best friend". In both cases Zoey makes the first move & kisses Max. In both hooking up scenes the popcorn is forgotten...

She/They both want to believe she's feeling the moment & is ready, but it is mostly just one coping mechanism... her way of distracting herself from the grief. Cause in no way has she shown signs of actually choosing him. [what dawned on the characters only 2 weeks later was obvious to viewers before they "got together" aka the moment she "chose him"] 

We saw her pick a team, but there have been no actual reasons or feelings expressed  by her why she chose him (the reasons she gave in "act five"  were about her needing him at the moment, not about why or how she really feels about him). The writing has still not included her POV & her sharing her feelings (cause she’s not ready for that...yet) They gave small glimpses during few scenes, but no real look into it. 

Get out!: Tobin being kicked out of the meeting by DMD/Zoey - "Get out, Tobin"/"Would you like to get out, Tobin?" AND Zoey getting kicked out from the makeover night by Mo - "Get out!" / "Girl, I don't care that you look like Rafiki. Get out!"

That came out wrong: Zoey told Simon in 2x02 about making his job not so easy "I am gonna ride you so...hard... Nope, that came out wrong"...She adds the last part as she hears herself say the words. VS Tobin was talking about being commited to work in 1x08 by saying "Hardworking, committed, serious. Watch how fast I nail this. Speaking of nailing... Nope, not gonna make the joke.." He adds the last part as he hears himself say the words

Food stealer: Zoey "I steal food from my best friends plate/bowl" Clarke. She ate from his plate during their dinner date at her place. And then she ate from his cereal bowl during the Clarke family breakfast "the morning after".

Older siblings: Jenna's is the less successful older sibling/sister (2x02) just like Leif is the less successful older sibling/brother (1x05). They both feel like "not enough" compared to their younger sibling(s), who they feel are more "perfect". 

Cardigan buddies: Leif & Zoey: cardigan buddies! Interestingly these two are the two 4th Floor Team members, who are most similar: both have a bike/like cycling (Leif often hs his bicyle helmet on his desk, so he rides a bike to work & Zoey has a bike in her apartment). Both love to wear cardigans, and the wardrobe department often has them in matching outfits/colours...Same this week. Both were/are the team members, who are in many ways "biggest messes" (most awkward), but both had/have the most ambition...they wanted and got the promotions. Both struggled in their new manager position..at first (and got help and good advice from their boss).

Team Leaders: Leif doing all the work alone (and exhausting himself...because he wants to be liked & hasn't yet settled into his new role as team leader... He has to learn to be their boss,  ot just their buddy...to get the team listen & for there to be teamwork) VS Zoey doing all the work alone (pre-S1 when she wanted the promotion +) during S1 when she had just become the boss: sending everyone home, cause they "didn't try hard enough", and fixing all the issues alone... VS Mo wanting to do it all alone in his early 20s (when he took over the project he had been working on with his best friend, cause "he's too good at goobyes") Both struggled with the new job, both got help/advice from their boss (Zoey from Joan & Leif from Zoey)

Sleeping at work:  Lief  being woken up by Zoey in 2x03 after he falls asleep when pulling an all-night at work (working  all night) VS Simon waking up Zoey in 1x02 after she falls asleep at work (behind her desk) after pulling an all-nighter alone. 

Leif's pants: In 2x02 Zoey tells Leif "Dust off your slim-fitting chinos" VS in S1 Joan makes a comment on Leif's pants. [I cannot remember the ep number right now] 

Go big or go home!: We found out Mitch's/Zoey’s dads motto in S1. It's "bigger moments, bigger memories" AND In 2x02 Zoey goes for the "bigger moment" - she tailors their first time together to suit Max's wishes (it should be special: the swan & rose petals are more for him than her) VS In 1x07 Max organizes a flash mob to confess his love for Zoey (something she as her dad's daughter secretly appreciates). She calls it unexpected & amazing & while she runs, its not cause she does not appreciate the "big gesture". The only reason she is overwhelmed & runs is because she is doing everything in her power to bottle up her feelings towards Max (1x06 ending proved she has feelings for him) & she did not want to deal with them at the moment. (the flashmob is more his style, but she is not opposed to it)

Come here: Max saying "Come here" to Zoey in the 2x02 dinner date scene at her place & during act five bedroom scene AND Max saying the same line "Come here" to Zoey in 1x12 during the "All of me/Pitbull" scene. 

Mix of songs: In 2x02 during the Z/M bedroom scene the scene switched between different songs & tones (romantic/ballad vs comic/neutral baseball song VS romantic mutual duet) VS in 1x12 during the Z/M movie night turned more scene the scene switched between different songs & tones (romantic/ballad vs comic/fast song) 

Dueting: In 2x02 Zoey joins Max for "A Moment Like This" during Act 5. She chooses to duet with him, becuase she feels the same way as he does. VS in 1x08 Max joins Zoey for "Pressure" at the CHIRP meeting... salvaging the presentation, when she involuntarely sings the songs (cause of the "glitch"). 

Opera songs + Sex: In 2x02 Zoey & Max are distracted by Mo singing opera & it's ruining the specialness of them trying to "do the nasty" VS in 1x04 Max sings opera the morning after he & Autumn "make their first love"

It’s a very not next-level move: In 2x02 during the morning after Max & Zoey are "caught" by her mom/family, and though it is awkward for a moment (because they seem to be surprised by the sudden change), meeting the family/parents does not seem such a next-level move, because Max has been kind-of part of the family for a while already. VS 1x05 where Max tells Zoey that meeting Autum's parents (he was dating her at the time) seems like such a next-level move, and she was not ready for any of it. VS all the times we saw Max interact with Zoeys family... in 1x02 with Mitch, in 1x06 helping the family with Mitch, in 1x12 with Maggie...

2x03 Zoeys Extraordinary Dreams [+ eggs]

NASA/Space theme: Zoey's NASA/space themed PJs and Tees + all the space references in both her childhood bedroom and her current apartment (telescope, posters, etc) 

Musical nightmares/Dreams: In 2x03 Zoey is having a recurring nightmare where in the end she faces herself while the song "Nowhere to Run" plays #allbymyself VS in 1x02 Zoey was having a much happier weird dream...with a twist ending while the song "I've Got the Music in Me" plays

A sad Emma Stone Halloween costume: Black PJs Zoey wears in the nightmare in 2x03 are the same ones she wears in 2x01 on the last day of her time off. The look Mo calls "a sad Emma Stone Halloween costume" (as he suggests she put on some colours instead)

Coach & Photo on the wall: Basically the only items in the empty Clarke house during Zoeys nightmare are the coach (where Mitch used to sit all the time & where Zoey/the family sat in S1 finale...the day the music died) & the picture on the wall (where she saw Mitch reflection the first time he sang to her/communicated with her). Her nightmare/dance are directed at those objects. 

Breaking glass: In 2x03 George breaks the glass wall/window of Zoey's/The bosses office when the team plays baseball at the office VS in 1x02 Zoey breaks the glass award/throphy in Simons office when she throws the american football ball. George & Zoey aka "I'm terrible around glass" people 

On repeat: Zoey being hunted by the same nightmare/dream throughout the episode in 2x03... until she stopped trying to avoid them and talked about them/did something about it VS Zoey being haunted by the same song "(I Can't get no) Satisfaction" thoughtout episode 1x03... until she  stopped avoiding it and helped Joan. 

I can't get no sleep: Zoey not sleeping because of the nigtmares she's having VS David/Emily not getting any sleep because of the baby (most new parents are sleep-deprived, because babies don't always have the same sleep-schedule as adults do) 

Mitch's/Zoey's spot on the coach: Zoey sitting on the coach with a blank look on her face at the end of "Nowhere to Run" nightmare VS Zoey sitting on the coach with a sad look on her face at the end of "American Pie" in 1x12 [in the nightmare shes sitting at MItch's spot, in s1 finale she's looking at the empty spot next to her] 

Red dress: The red dress the OTHER Zoey is wearing in her nightmare as she opens her door VS The (same) red dress Zoey is wearing as she & her dad dance as instrumental version of "True Colours" is playing in 1x12 (as he's dying). Same dress. 

Too much on her plate: Zoey taking on too many responsibilities and not being able to handle it. In S2 she is living the post-loss stage of grief + she's taken the new promotion and added jobs and responsibilities + she is avoiding dealing with her issues + she has started a new relationship (she is not ready for, actually) + she keeps hearing heart songs which kinda help her with knowing what others feel, but it's also distracting and overwhelming to her "reducing stress is a little tricky since I've taken over the 4th floor & have 10-times the respnsibility now"]  VS in S1 she is dealing with losing her father soon + she's taken the new promotion and added job responsibilities + she is avoiding dealing with her own issues ("face her father") + she is helping people whose heart songs she hears. In S2 it kinda culminates in ep 3, in S1 it kinda culminated  in ep 8. when she says "How do I do that? Because helping myself would mean taking a vacation from Sprk Point, or curing my father's disease."

Manager advice: In 2x03 Zoey asks Simon advice about how to manage all the extra work & he tells her about delegating work (sharing responsibiities) VS in 1x02  Zoey asks/gets help from Simon on how to manage the team (and still get to go home on time/get all the work done on time) 

Not the right person to help: In 2x03 Zoey wants to hep her mom, but she feels like she's not the right person to do that, because she has no insight into the topic (does not know anything about landscaping & art) + she would probbly not have the time or energy right now, cause she has so much other things going on... VS in 1x11 she wants to help her mom, but feels since she has no personal experience (has not lost a husband of 4-years), she is not the right person to help her. Both times a heart-song heps her find the right person (in her opinion) for the job. In 2x03 it's Jenna, in 1x11 it was Deb. 

No communication: In S2 & 2x03 Zoey is not really opening up to Max, but she is communicating her feelings to him...somewhat. Telling him about her nightmares/dreams, and that they're affecting her. Though not really going too much into the experience (because she hopes they will magically disappear if she wishes they will...) VS In S1 Zoey avoided opening up to Max & sharing her feelings with him more. Though she still uses the same tactics - trying to keep it all inside, and avoid dealing with her feelings and grief and everything related to it (hoping that if she avoids it then it doesn't exist...even if she probably knows that this is not how any of it works). She's trying to share a bit more with him, her best friend, but at the same time she is still bottling it all up inside...

My heart song does not mean what you think it means: In 2x03 Max says to Zoey after she hears a heart song from him (which he assumes might be that he is "jealous" that she talks to Simon, her grief-buddy at work about her personal life & nightmares) that "People can have a lot of thoughts in their heads without meaning them. / You can't read into it." VS Zoey's quote: "I don't know what that song is saying exactly what we think its saying" & "You can't be mad at me for singing a song I didn't mean to sing" in 1x08. 

Dinner Date gone wrong: In 2x03 Max tries to cook a home-made dinner for Zoey (at her mom's place), but when she hears him singing a heart song it leads to an "argument" between the two and he leaves VS in 1x10 Simon tries to cook a home-made dinner for Zoey (at his new place), but when she hears him singing a heart song it leads to an "argument" and her leaving. 

PS. Based on Zoey's reaction the song is either "Say Something" (because a person sings theei song until Zoey responds/helps..and she only did at the end of the episode) OR it's a reprise of a certain song fro S1 (but if I'm right not a song you'd expect) OR ... it's a completely different song... that we would not expect. And based on Zoeys reaction & the shows choice not to show/tell us the song... it has to be a "surprise", and if it would be simply "he's feeling jealous over Z/S grief connection" or if it was "Say Something"...that would  not be a twist, but since I expect this to be setting up a future story, it'd be not very creative writing if it was one of these options. Which is why I have a theory... (I'm not sure about the song... I'm not even sure the showrunner/writer has decided yet... but I have a guess on the "theme/feelings")

Timing is off: In 2x03 Zoey & Max decide to put their new relationship on hold until she is ready...to give her time to grieve and work through the emotions VS in 1x10 Zoey & Simon decide to put breaks on their relationshop-to-be until he is ready... to give him time to work through his emotions.

Say Something/Happier: In S2/2x03 Zoey & Max are in a relationhip, but they do  not communicate well. Because she does not open up to him about her grief & "he does  not know how to help cause he has not had the same experience" VS in S1/1x05-1x09 Simon & Jessica are in a relationship, but they do not communicate well. Because he does not open up to her about his grief & she does not know how to help cause she has not had the same experience. 

While there are similarieties in the storylines, there are also differences. S/J let the third party in the relationship, grief, get between them and it drove them apart, cause they stayed together until it broke them apart. Z/M came to a mature decision to not let the third party in the relationship defy them, they took a break so the grief would not end up breaking them apart. 

PS. While we've ony seen the start of this storyline, I do believe that this is where it's going. They're not gonna repeat S/Js mistake, but instead they will "learn from it", and by deciding to take some time now they will be ready to continue where they left off once she's ready. Cause they both made the false assumption in 2x01 that she was ready. They were heading toward S/J, but theyre kinda trying to avoid that by the decisoon in 2x03.

Grief therapist: In S2 Simon is Zoey's grief councelor/therapist... he gives solid advice to her about her grief and how to deal with her feelings/emotions VS In S1 Zoey was Simon's grief councelor/therapist...she gave him often pretty solid advice about grief and how to deal with the situations. The roles have reversed.

   Mind-reader: In 2x03 Max brings up the topic that he is unconfortable how Zoey can just "read his mind" and know everything he thinks & feels (have insight into how he feels...also about her), while he has no idea what she thinks/how she feels...because she won't really share. VS 2x02 When in Act 5 he says he'd like to know what she's thinking/feeling & she tells him what she's feeling VS 1x07 when Max bring up the fact that he is uncomfortable with her knowing how he thinks while he has no insight into her mind (after which she promises 100% honesty to him.... that she'll be open with him... which to this day she has not been able to really do) VS 1x04 when Mo expresses concern that she can read other people thoughts & he's not okay with her having insight into his private thoughts & feelings. 

Time apart: In 2x03 Zoey puts some space between herself & Max, when they agree to take a break, cause she's not done grieving/not ready for a relationship VS In 1x02 Zoey puts space between her & Max when she sets him up with their barista in the previous episode (because she is not ready to let herself even consider  romantic path between them, so she "fixes it")

THE END...for now

[hellyeahheroes]

Building Rikki Barnes in D&D 5e

I will confess something. lately D&D has been a kind of comfort hobby for me, in wake of all this fucking madness around us that is this year. This includes these builds but also my campaign that I just wrapped up and before I kick off with a sequel I felt like doing some celebration with blog-related content. So I decided - let’s build a character I planned to build on Pride Month but didn’t manage to. One funky, gun-toting, shield-wielding, dimension-hopping immortal lesbian.

As always, credit to Tulok the Barbarian from whom I lifted the teamplate for those builds and like him we will start with Goals for the build. First of all, we need to fight like someone who studied under not one, not two but dozens of Captain Americas across the worlds. Second, we need to have knowledge and skills like someone who lived all kinds of lives, picking up all she learned along the way. Finally, we need to be able to use both shield and a gun in accord.

For Ability Scores we will stick to Standard Points Array - 15, 14, 13, 12, 10, and 8 - but if you want to roll, use points buy or other form of generating abilitty scores, go ahead and treat these as guidelines. Keep your Charisma and either Strength or Desterity at at least 13 for multiclassing purposes.

Strength: 15, say it after me RIKKI. IS. BUFF!

Dexterity: 14, your armor varied from short-shorts to what would pass for a leather armor and you have no problem jumping from one rooftop to another to catch-up with your Spider-Girlfriend.

Constitution: 12, you’re not as tough as Toro, but you can still take a hit.

Intelligence: 10, wish it was higher but we cannot have everything

Wisdom: 8,remember that time you didn’t recognize main universe counterpart of your brother is into you and didn’t recognize guy replacing Steve as Cap is your own grandfather?

Charisma: 13, say what you want but Rikki knows how to pick up girls.

Race: Rikki is a human, we will stick with Varian Human because we need a feat but Revenant Human could work as well if you want to go into technicalities about her ressurections. Variant Humans get +1 to two Abilitty Scores, boost up Strength and Dexterity, a bonus Skill, pick History and a feat. Pick a Soldier for a background since this is closest we get to “trained by most American American to ever American and reborn across the multiverse to do it again”. It gives you proficiency in Athletics and Intimidation, land vehicles if you want to borrow grandpa’s bike and a gaming set. Military Rank feature let’s you be recognzied as a fellow veteran by other soldiers who may be more letient to your requests. You lead two superhero teams so that adds up.

Shield Master will be our feat of chocie and we need to talk about it because it gives you not one but three fun features: 

It let’s you add a bonus from your Shield to your Armor Class to any saving throws against spells and other harmful effects as long as they target only you. The way it is written means you could technically cover your eyes with shield when someone tries to hypnotize you, which is very much how I imagine members of Captain America Family (Cap Family?) dealing with mind-control.

If you take an attack action on your turn, you can use your bonus action to try to shove a creature within 5 feet from you with your shield. Shoving is normally an action that forces the target, say Bob Agent of Hydra, to make Athletics or Acrobatics check against your Athletics. If Bob fails (and he will because it’s Bob), he is either pushed 5 feet away from you or knocked prone. Maybe that will make him realize he needs a better job than fucking nazis.

It also let’s you use your reaction to cover with your shield if you are subjected to an effect that demands you make a saving throw to take half damage or full damage if you don’t, like for example FUCKING FIREBALL. With your shield up if you do make that saving throw you’ll take no damage. This is a bit weaker version of Evasion, a feature Rogues and Monks get at 7th level. Meaning that you will spend that many levels making them horribly jealous.

Speaking of Rogues, guess what we’re NOT picking for out Class. Instead we go with...

1st Level: Fighter! You gain proficiency with all Armors, shields, simple and martial weapons, Strength and Constitution saving throws, and two skills, I’d go with Acrobathics and Perception. You gain Second Wind, letting you recover as a bonus action 1d10+your fighter level of HP. Rikki is determined enough to chase the Maker across worlds and hit points can reflect will to fight. 

You also get fighting style - unarmed Fighting lets you deal 1d6+your Strength modifier on your Unarmed Attacks, 1d8 if you use both hands (or do a dropkick I pressume) and if you grapple a creature, you can deal 1d4 damage when you innitiate it succesfull and then on future hits while grappling.

2nd Level: Fighter gets Action Surge, letting you once per short or long rest take an extra action during your turn.

3rd Level: Fighter gets to chosoe a Martial Archetype: Battle Master gainst a proficiency with Artisan’s tool of your choice but moe importantly, gains Combat Superiority. You Gain 3 Maneuvers that are fueled by your Superiority Dice - which at this level are 4 d8s. When you use a Maneuver you spend Superiority Dice, you get them back after a short or long rest. If those effects ask for a saving throw, it must beat 8 Your Proficiency Bonus + either your Strength or Dexterity modifier.

Bait and Switch let’s you switch places with an ally within 5 feets of you without provoking Opportunitty Attacks and until the start of your next turn that ally adds result of your Superiority Dice roll to their Armor Class. Julie power can overextend herself easily, this will keep her safe.

Sweeping Attack let’s spend one Superiorirty die when you hit an opponnent in meele to try to also hit another one within 5 feet of it - if the original attack roll was high enough to beat its AC you deal it damage equal your roll on Superiority Dice. So when ypu kick Red Skull you can also carry your kick toreach Crossbones as well, breaking two jaws with your heel in one strike.

Brace let’s you spend your reaction to attack a target that moves within 5 feet of you and  add result to the damage if you hit. So if Sif tries to rush to help her father, you will deck her in the face without even having to look.

4th Level: Firghter gets an Abilitty Score Improvement or a Feat. We will pick Gunner from newest Unearthed Arcana for Feats. it let’s you add +1 to your Dexterity, gives you profficiency with firearms and let’s you ignore their loading quality, letting you shoot a gun for each of your attacks for a single turn and you don’t have disadvantage on an attack if you shoot a target within 5 feet of you..

Alternatives: Not every DM allows firearms in their setting. If that is the case the Crossbow Expert will do roughly the same for you. If you don’t like idea of Rikki with guns at all, then Crusher from the same Unearthed Arcana will let you push any target you hit with your fist and make attacks against them have an advantage for a turn whenever you crit on an attack. Martial Adept meanwhile can let you learn two more maneuvers and gain an extra Superiority Dice.

5th Level: Fighter can now attack twice on each turn attack action. Meaning You can in one turn roundhouse kicks Red Skull, use sweeping attack to carry that kick over to Crossbones, shoot Anirm Zola, knock Bob to the ground and use another Superiority Dice to deck Sin in the face if she comes to help her daddy on her turn. And that’s without using Action Surge and last Superiority Dice.

6th Level: Fighter gains another Abilitty Score Improvement. And you know what? Boost up your Strength.

7th Level: We have combat skills but what about other Skills? We can grab an extra one, like Stealth, by picking up a level of Bard. 1st Level Bards gain Bardic Inspiration, a set of 3 d6 dices you can give to your allies as a bonus action, letting them add it to an attack roll or a saving throw.

You also learn Bardic spells. You know a small number of those and spend spell slots to cast them. If your spell makes an attack roll, it does so with a bonus equal your Profficiency Bonus + Your Charisma modifier. Add to that bonus 8 and you get a number that has to be beaten if your spell reqires a saving throw.

You start knowing 2 Cantrips that you can always cast and 4 1st level Spells and have 2 1st level Spell Slots

Light is a flashlight you can use to make an object shine bright light in 30 feet and dim light in next 30 feet. Useful since you cannot see in the dark 

Message is a communicator, letting you send a short message to another creature and be able to receive equally short reply

Comprehend Languages let’s you understand any language you hear for 1 hour. Rikki lived many lives, she likely picked a few.

Heroism you can cast on yourself to show how brave you are or on an ally, cherring them up. until the spell ends the target has an advantage on saving throwsagainst being frightened and gains an extra temporary hit point at the start of each of your turns.

Identify let’s you use your vast knowledge of other worlds to recognize legendary or jsut enchanted effects or what spells are affecting a creature or an object. After all, you have seen it all.

Cure Wounds is a first aid kit, healing 1d8+1 hit points on you or another target

8th Level: 2nd Level Bards gain Jack of All Trades, letting you add half of your Proficiency modifier to all skills you are not profficient with. You also get Song of Rest, letting you let your commrades roll an extra 1d6 whenever tehy roll to regain hit points - as a soldier of many Battlefields makes sense you will be tending the wounds of your allies and rising their spirits between battles. You also get another spell known but we will exchange it for something else on next level.

9th Level: Bards of 3rd Level can pick bardic College. College of lore lets you gain 3 more Skills. Survival, Investigation and Insight feel msot in character. You also get Expertise, doubling your Proficiency Bonus, in two skills of your choice that you are profficient with, I’d go with Athletics to make sure you knock down all opponnents, and Stealth. Finally you learn cutting words - you can use your reaction and spend one of your Bardic Inspiration dices to say some bit of multiversal knowledge that distracts an enemy - you roll that dice and subtract the result from one attack roll or saving throw an enemy makes.

You also learn more spells, letting us to pick two 2nd level spells:

See Invisibility let’s you see invisible creatures and those on Etherial Plane like Ghosts or Phase Spiders. Play it as you being so experienced you learned to see such creatures coming.

Enchance Abilitty let’s you gain or grant someone else an advantage on all rolls related to choosen Abilitty. When you need an extra show of skill.

10th Level: 4th Level bards gain an Abilitty Score Improvement. Boost your Dexterity for more accurate guns and better AC. You also learn one more Spell and a new Cantrip:

Vicious Mockery forces a target to make a Wisdom saving throw or be dealt 2d4 psychic damage from your quip and have disadvantage on its next attack roll Knock let’s you open a single lock, be it on doors or containers.

11th Level: back to Fighter. 7th Level Battlemaster gains an addition Superiority Dice, Two more Maneuvers and can Know Your Enemy - if you study a creature for at least a minute you will learn if it is your superior, inferior or equal in any of the two:  Strength, Dexterity or Constitution score, Armor Class, Current hit points,Total class levels, if any or Fighter class levels, if any. Use it if you run into a black-clad silent Bat0themed girl from another dimension and btw Marvel, Dc I would pay gold for this fight to happen.

Our new Maneuvers will be:

Disarming Attack let’s you add a superiority dice roll to damage roll of your attack and force target to make a Strength saving throw or drop whatever they’re holding at the moment. Works with ranged attacks meaning you can shoot Cosmic Cube out of Red Skull’s hands.

Ambush let’s you spend a Superiority Dice to add the roll of it to a Stealth or Initiative roll

12th Level: 8th Level Fighter gains an Abilitty Score Improvement, get your Strength to 20 for better hits and better showing down the enemies.

13th Level: 9th Level Fighter gains Indomintable, letting you once per long rest reroll a failed saving throw. Including Death Saving Throws.

14th Level: 10th Levle Battlemaster improves their superiority dice to 1d10 and gains two more Maneuvers.

Riposte let’s you make an attack when a creature misses you with a meele attack you can use your reaction to make one attack against them and add roll of Superiority Dice to the damage.

Meanicing Attack let’s you spend a superiority dice to add it’s roll to damage dealt to a target and force them to make a Wisdom saving throw or be Frightened of you until end of your next turn.

15th Level; 11th Level Fighter can now make two extra attacks on each of attack actions. Meaning you can with Action Surge and your maneuvers shoot cosmic cube out of Red Skull’s hands, shoot Anirm Zola and Baron Zemo so hard the latter will not approach you out of fear, deliver roundhouse kick to Skull so hard you hit Crossbones too, knock down Bob and deck Sin in the jaw when she rushes to help her father.

16th Level: 12th Level Fighter gains an Ability Score Improvement, round up your Dexterity to 20 for better AC and more acurrate guns.

17th Level: 13th Level Fighter can use Indomintable twice per long rest. Meaning you are that much harder to kill and that more likely to survive fireballs from Onslaught.

18th Level: 14th Level Fighter gets another Abilitty Score Improvement. Boost up your Constitution for Better Concentration and mroe hit points (remember they add retroactively, giving you extra 18 HP at this level)

19th Level: 15th Level Battlemaster means two mroe maneuvers, one mroe Superiority Dice and now if you roll initiative on combat without any you regain one.

Rally lets you roll a Superiority Dice whenever you hit on an attack to give it’s result + your Charisma modifier as temporary hit points to another creature until end of your next turn.

Goading Attack also adds roll from Superiority Dice to damage dealt on attack and if Target fails a Wisdom saving throw, it has disadvantage on attacks against any other creature than you until end of your next turn. You know, i ncase Maker plans to blow you all up, make him punch you instead.

20th Level; We will finish with 16th Level of Fighter for one last Ability Score Improvement, investing either in Constitution for better hit points, or Charisma for better healing. Or picking a Tough feat to gain extra 40 hit points, which would be my preferred option.

Overview: My take on Rikki barnes is Battlemaster Fighter 16, College of Lore Bard 4. Let’s see how good this build is:

Pros: You can make a lot of attacks, making you excellent agaisnt crowds of mooks like Goblins or Hydra Agents. You have an answer for a lot of things an opponnent may do and several ways to control the battlefield to your advantage. You can also double as a skill-monkey, being skilled in enough things to make Rogue jealous. In fact, you basically are a discount Rogue, able to fill in for a lot of things Rogue would normally do. And you can heal too.If you have focused on your Constintution at the end you will also have pretty strong HP, maybe even up to 160-180 and with Shield Master or Indomintable it will be hard to hurt you as well.

Cons: Sadly, a lot of your abilitties compete for Bonus Action or Reaction, meaning you need to carefully consider what you will use each turn. You do nbot deal magic damage so a lot of late game enemeis will be resistant or immune to your hits un;ess DM gives you a magic gun. Finally, there is a big possibility you will burn out of your Superiority Dice early on, leaving you without many options later.

But you are still a valuable part of any team. Protect your allies, give them opennings to strike. Knock Bob down. Break Red Skull’s jaw. Just remember you need to rely on your teammates to survive - unless you want to be reborn in a different campaign.

-Admin

[rubykgrant]

Ah, to heck with it; have some “Simon Survives Scenarios”. Various ideas that have been rolling around in my head, I can’t be bothered to actually DO anything with them myself, but perhaps others will have fun! Or angst. Or both. You can use these in a “and then everything was OK, the end” kinda way... OR “and then he felt BAD, because he made US feel bad, you get what you give dude” kinda way. Either way, enjoy~

Scenario 1- starting from the point of Grace still being trapped in her video memories, what finally snaps her out of the trance is somebody knocking the projector out of the way... it is Samantha. She started feeling anxious (and perhaps a bit guilty) about giving this to Simon, and worried about what he’d do with it. Samantha and Grace talk for a moment, concluding with Samantha lamenting that she should have taken better care of the boy when he was younger, and Grace pointing out that he’s a big boy now, his actions are his own choice. Grace continues on while Samantha stays behind. Things proceed basically the same as they did originally, until the Ghom attacks Simon. It seems that he’s really going to die, the thing that he’d been running from since he was a child finally caught him, he wasn’t able to stop himself from becoming somebody terrible and now he was going to be stopped forever... and suddenly, something lunges at the Ghom. It is Samantha, still dressed in her very classy vest, but now she’s got her fur raised, claws out, hissing and ready to bite. She lunges again, grabbing the Ghom and rolling, swiping and swatting at it the shole time. Simon is still out of sorts... he just tried to kill his best friend, then she was OK, and then the Ghom was on him, and he could feel himself dying, and then Samantha was there, and he feels tiny and afraid again. Grace takes a step forward, not sure if she can do anything, but wanting to try. Samantha is pinned down by the Ghom, looks up at the children, and manages to shout “GET BACK IN THE CAR!” before she pulls herself free, rounding on the Ghom. Grace grabs Simon by the arm and pulls him back toward the doors of the Mall Car, the kids rushing in ahead of them. Grace pulls the doors shut, and Simon finally reacts. Sitting on his knees in front of the door, he slams his hands against it. For a few seconds, everybody is just trying to ceatch their breath and process what just happened. Simon looks down at his arms, both covered with numbers. He turns around, sitting against the door, and off to the side he turns and looks into a reflective surface of some window the kids broke years ago. He sees his face, and then quickly looks away. Grace speaks to the kids as she did in the original, her number going down, her new little origami companions with her. Simon is silent for now, he doesn’t even want to hear his own voice (you can take that wherever you want from there. maybe he still keeps being a jerk and eventually bites it in a whole other way, maybe they find Samantha again later, maybe whatever)

Scenario 2- The well-being of the passengers was the most important thing... and that was why One-One jsut couldn’t leave this alone. Before... before Amelia, before a lot of things, there had been very specific safety measures that made sure, no matter WHAT, a passenger wouldn’t die. It hadn’t been all Amelia’s fault, not entirely, but when she took the train, she removed several safety measures, and others fell into dis-repair as she was only concerned with her personal project. There was also other problems, things that had nothing to do with Amelia, things One-One should have anitcipated and fixed before anything bad happened... but he hadn’t, and then he’d been so invested in getting things “back on track” (so to speak) after becoming the Conductor once again, he missed this. Now a passenger was dead, and that was simply not acceptable. Even Sad-One couldn’t find the right words to describe how devastating this fact was. Amelia was a little reluctant to mention that One-One was so concerned with the whole Simon Incident, that he was ignoring other issues. After all, passengers weren’t in danger before she started taking over the train, and she’d been RIGHT THERE, right in front of the boy, she could clearly see how troubled he had been, how narrow-minded and head-strong, how very much like herself when she’d been at her worst... and she had only antagonized him, then left. Finaly, Amelia forced herself to speak with One (being more honest and direct was something she needed to work on. her number spun down as she took a deep breath and walked up to the little robot). She talked about how this was unfortunate, and very sad indeed, but warned One not get so obsessed. That was what had hurt the boy. It was also what had hurt her. She’d been so obsessed with bringing back Alrick, she’d tried all kinds of things, now obviously nonsensical; cloning him, holograms, once she’d even tried using her memory tape and a particular car to create some sort of time travel. “Oh? Which car was that?” One asked, in an off-handed way. Amelia explained it had been a car that was now currently glitching, but the original purpose was to go into “history books”, like some after-school special where children time travel and learn a history lesson. The car couldn’t let you change or alter the past, just re-visit and re-live it. Until Amelia started adjusting it... oh, she’d gotten CLOSE with that thing. However, after some experiments, she decided it was a bad option. Pulling something out through the machine from the past almost never lasted. Most of the time, whatever she brought back deteriorated. She had only chosen random objects, things like house plants or fruit, too afraid to actually put Alrick through all that. Going through the machine yourself also wasn’t practical, you also got pulled back to where you had been after a certain period of time had passed. You could bring things with you (she’d been able to grab a chair), but that still held the same problem of the past object possibly falling apart. She also found that you couldn’t be very accurate with where and when. She often was a few minutes and several feet off where she was “aiming”. Finally, she noticed that she also became more unstable after trying to go back. Not only had she not even been able to see Alrick (what with being an hour later than she wanted and also two hole miles away), she had nearly destoyed herself. Amelia had intended to share this story to hopefully help One understand that he couldn’t keep dwelling on Simon. Instead, she had given him an idea

Scenario 3- The Ghom doesn’t suck out Simon’s soul... it turns him into ANOTHER Ghom. Grace quickly rushes the kids back into the Mall Car as the thing that used to be her best friend tries to attack her. Again. Any hope she had of reasoning with him, helping him, sotpping him... all that is gone. Inside the car, Grace tries to comfort the kids and explain to them that they need to change. In the days that follow, instead of going out on raids, Grace goes out on little trips with the kids. Now that they know what they are supposed to do, learn lessons and get their numbers DOWN, they really seem to be making progess. Sometimes she head out with a group of 7 kids, and come back with 3. At first they were afraid of getting to 0 and suddenly facing an exit door, but Grace helps them understand that it will be OK. They’re going home. The kids still don’t want to be alone, and that’s why Grace still uses the Mall Car as a base. If nothing else, they can still come back here to rest. Some kids find their true companions, and Grace says good-bye. She knows she should try to get her own number down (although, it seems to do it just fine without much effort), but she doesn’t want to leave just yet... for one thing, she’s been on this train for... what? 10 years? 11? She wasn’t totally sure, but she did know this had been her life for a long time, and she wasn’t ready for “the real world” yet. She also still wanted to find Hazel. If nothing else, to apologize and make sure the little girl was alright. Why lie, she also kept thinking about Simon. She knew it was impossible to even think she could find him, or tell him apart from the other Ghoms, or help him if she DID find him. She kept thinking about him though. One day, while exploring some cars with her little origami companions, Grace hears somebody yelling; she can’t believe it, but it is Hazel! A group of Ghoms have gotten into the car, and they’re chasing her. Grace runs as fast ashe she can, but the car is designed to be like a giant jungle-gym in a fast-food place. Everything is all twisted together, an obstacle course in bright colors. Grace gets stuck, and calls out to her friend. Hazel tries to get to her, but 3 Ghoms advance on her. Hazel crouches down, her turtle shell appearing as a last line of defense... and suddenly a fourth Ghom slams into the others. It chases them off, then turns and walks toward Hazel. Grace finally finds a way through, runs over, and wraps her arms around the tiny girl to protect her. The Ghom stops. It seems distressed, which isn’t unusual for Ghoms, but it also isn’t attacking. It keeps pacing around them, growling and crying. Hazel slowly relaxes in Graces arms, and Grace finally asks “Simon? Is that you?”

Potential Follow-Up to Scenario 3 and 4- Simon is returned to his normal form, still covered with numbers and still not in his right mind. After first panicking when he sees who he still considers to be the “false conductor”, he then starts to remember what he did, and asks “Wait, what happened to Grace? Did I hurt her? I... I thought I did, but I didn’t really WANT to, but I still DID... no, did I kill her? I didn’t, right? Something saved her... Din’t it?”. Finally Amelia comes in, and taking a softer tone than the one she used when they first met, she explains that yes, he did indeed try to kill Grace, and yes, she was saved by denizens of the train. Now, he has been saved as well. Still trying not to be too harsh with him, Amelia explains that he has been wrong about the numbers and how the train works. Simon still doesn’t want to listen to that... because if he was wrong about that, then EVERYTHING he did was wrong. After some time passes, Amelia manages to locate his former friends, as they’ve been concerned about him (he has trouble understanding why they even still care). Samantha comes to see him, and after looking at his face she says “Oh, Simon... what have you done to yourself? What did you do to everybody else?”. Grace comes to see him as well, and she’s a mess “I should be HAPPY to see you alive, we should both be happy, but we can’t be, I don’t know HOW to feel about this, we saved each other so many times Simon, until the very end I was still trying to save you, and you... YOU...” she can’t finish. He knows. He tried to kill her. Shame doesn’t seem like a strong enough word for what he feels. Hazel is somewhere nearby, but she refuses to come near him. He can’t blame her. On his own, Simon looks at himself in a mirror, seeing all the numbers on his face. Like brands of his mistakes and bad choices. When Amelia finds him, he’s crying and scratching at his face “I don’t want them anymore, I don’t want these numbers, get them off, GET THEM OFF!”. She runs toward him, grabbing his arms “Simon, stop! Stop it! Hurting yourself is just making your number go UP!”. He colapses against her, crying, and Amelia has to do something she’s not very good at; comfort him. She also tells him “Sometimes... the hardest thing we can do is live with the consequences of our actions”. In the days that pass, Simon finds himself constantly thinking about how this isn’t fair, why should HE get to be here? He doesn’t deserve this. If he could come back, why couldn’t... Simon starts asking about how the denizens of the train work, how they are “alive”. He learns about the “cores”, how they can be repaired and thus possibly heal a denizen that has been hurt or destroyed. If the core itself is broken, then nothing can be done. If Simon could just find Tuba, then he could fix this (this could be wither him traveling way back to the spot where he cause her to tall, searching the wasteland in the area. or, him using the time machine, which is potentially dangerous to him as going back and forth might cause him to fall apart)

[ghost1643]

Seven deadly gems part 4-Gowther

A few weeks after Veronica goes on her date, she wakes up and walks down the hall. She's half asleep. As are her sisters as they wish their father a good day as he had to go to work. After he leaves Veronica takes a sip out of her coff, glanced at the calander and just spit out the coffee in a panic. It was their father's birthday and they completely forgot.

So the girls in a panic go out to town to get heir dad some stuff. Yet, they don't know what to buy him. This ends up in hours of looking for the perfect gift. Except some how, they forgot about a tiny itty bitty thing. Just that they wrote a note telling the gems they would be home by lunch for when their dad gets home. So when they don't show up the gems figure their father cancelled their plans for lunch.

The gems are laughing upstairs watching tv and having jsut so much fun when the door opens. Meliodas just cheers a hi Elizabeth not turning around. Instead the girl's father asks who the hell they were and why they were sitting in on his couch.

Everyone freaks out mentally for a son's. For Diane it's to much with the pressure of everything else being put on her. So she begins to lose focus and shape back into her original shape which is a 30ft tall off coloured gem. When she starts to touch the ceiling, Ban poofs her just to keep her from breaking down the house. Yet, king starts arguing with him about proofing her. Meliodas meanwhile is just looking at the confused male wondering how he's going to explain this.

Meliodas sends his friends outside before explaining everything to Elizabeth's dad. He leaves out no details that are important, well the ones everyone else knows. He expects to find a new home for his friends. Instead Elizabeth's dad just gives a tired sigh before giving a tired laugh and sitting down. He just looks up tired and just explains he knew they were living there since the first two days they lived here, he just was waiting for someone to tell him. Meliodas is shocked at first and just asks why he would be okay with all of this. Again the o,dee human sighs and just says, "Elizabeth needs to be with someone from her own kind."

He then explains that back in the 80's, when he was a teen, he snuck off to this town with his friends to go see a concert. Whilst watching the whole thing he meet these weird looking people but, one caught his eye. She had the same silver hair as Elizabeth does today, had bright blue skin, had a blue gem stone that looked like it was in her skin, and she moved her bangs letting him see she only had one eye. He was so intrigued that he talked with her. This cycle continued everytime he snuck off with one of his buddies for a road trip.

The gem was a star sapphire who lived in a temple with a few other gems called the crystal gems. She fought in a war thousands of years ago and now lived on earth, with a few friends she fought with. Eventually he met these friends, each a different gem stone..or two. They all got to know each other. Eventually the star sapphire, whom he called Lunar, introduced him to his wife while she went out with one of his friends. Eventually, he got married and he stopped going as often. His friend moved up there though, he made sure to call every night. Then next thing he knew, he had two girls, his wife has just be diagnosed ovary cancer and given weeks to live, their dog died, and Lunar showed up on his doorstep one night in tears.

The crystal gems had been attacked and captured by a strange look male. Lunar's husband had also been killed. To top it all off, somehow she was having a baby, she had no idea how. All she knew was that she would die having the baby, leaving it all on it's own. At that moment her remembered speaking his mind and saying he would take on the baby, not really sure of what would happen next. His wife loved the idea, agreeing to help for as long as she could. They even gave Lunar a place to stay but, in the same house as a overly curious 2 year old and a grumpy 1 year old. Despite this, Lunar loved loving there for as long as she could.

Sure enough Lunar died having her daughter. The only way they knew she was dead was a bright light they saw coming from their shed and her screams. His wife got in the shed just as their friend died but, in her place laid Elizabeth as a baby, with two eyes. Two mismatch looking eyes. One bright blue like her mom's and the other yellow like her father's. Yet, her gem stone remains on her forehead, hidden by hair she grows out to cover both her hello eye and gem. After she was born, his wife found a reason to hang on for much longer. His wife was given 13 weeks to live, she lived for another 3 years before dying. During those 3 years, his wife gave their girls 3 years of pure happiness and fun. He tried to as well. Later down the line, when the Elizabeth was 12, they started to run out of money, since they used up all the money their mom left them, so he took more work hours. Since then, well he's tried to be there as much as he can.

So he's fine with them there, just so his girls can be happy again...just as long as their house stays intact. After all Elizabeth needs to know about her biological mother evetunally. He does plan to tell her on her 17th birthday this year. Yet, its better she finds out everything about her mother's species from other the same species as her mother. Then if she wants to cut him off, she can. Just as long as she's happy with herself and who she truely is, he doesn't care.

Lunch ends with the sins sitting down and talking with the older male, just getting some questions answered that they're to nervous to ask the girls. Like why there's bugs outside, cause Diane knows she should know it. It's just she doesn't, and she doesn't want to embarrass herself anymore than what she has already. King is also curious about what work is really. Cause he knows Margret is taking two years off to work and t money before going to her first choice university. But, to be honest he has no idea what it truely is on this planet. Ban just wants to know what movie ratings means...Veronica mentioned them once but, he had no idea what the hell they mean. As for Meliodas, he's asks about the human life span. Thankfully they get their answers without getting laughed at..that much.

Anyways the rest of the day involves the gems cleaning up the house, plus decorating it a bit for when the girls get home. They use balloons that were in a cupboard as longs as these weird paper things called streamers. They also cooked...okay Ban cooked, everyone else just tried to. Anyways Ban ended up cooking a whole dinner plus a cake by 6pm when the girls got back with the gifts they ended up deciding on, plus a few new tires on the car which ended up helping them get off the side of the road. They just sit down looking tired when their dad gets back. All three girls panic only to walk into the kitchen, see everything, then just kinda stand their in shock as their dad walks in. They play it off cool and just act like this was all planned. Meanwhile the gems are in basement wtachinga movie, enjoying everything on earth so far. The day ends with the girls watching a bunch of cartoons in the basement with their alien friends.

Time passes and the other following things happen that are I think are pretty fun.

Diane finds out what a bug is by somehow finding a bee and deciding to poke it while it was laying on the ground. Long story short she poofed once it stung her. She has been scared of human bugs ever since even though the girls assured her not all bugs were that bad.

Meliodas tried cooking all on his own. The food looked amazing but, well it tasted worse than what you would imagine. So the girls tried to help him learn to cook, he never improved.

King discovers body pillows. He claims one in the basement and never lets it go. He will literally carry it around the house when he feels like it just so he can take a nap.

Ban tries alcohol after the girl's father brings so home and hates how it tastes. So he gets drunk for an entire afternoon. This leads to the girls trying to hide a drunk man around their house all day.

Veronica goes on a few more dates. Nothing monumental but, it leads to her describing what a date is to the gems. Of course they decide to try this date stuff out and take each other out on a date to the bakery Margret works in downtown. It's rather funny to watch since they're obviously trying but, still have no idea what a date is, just what you do on it. Minus the kissing of course. Yet, once Gilthunder tells them that some dates involve that, Meliodas actually ask Ban what that is since he hasn't known any thee gems that would have kissed before. The whole thing is just entertaining to watch.

King finds out about what fusion is from Diane. He makes it his personal mission to be the first person to fuse with her.he tries to learn how to dance which kinda works...like he knows how to spin now. He just kinda doesn't know anything else.

The gems join in on the girl's game night. This ends up with Meliodas storming off, Diane being grumpy in a corner, king napping, Veronica yelling swears at Margret, Margert yelling loudly at her sister, Ban yelling at them both to shut up, Gilthunder sitting in the corner awkwardly and Elizabeth racing after Meliodas to try and calm him down. While they're arguing Gil slowly slides away the game of monopoly. Then he begs to play another game. Yet, pictornary ends up the same, jsut with different people screaming. Uno ends with King trying to beat the crap out of Ban for cheating. Candyland ends with glares at Diane who somehow won even though she doesn't know how to play. Go fish ends up with Elizabeth jooking around about how much she won. Finally they all find they can play the game of life together without it all exploding. The whole thing was just so tiring that Gil just fell asleep while everyone was getting along.

The girls try to show the gems what books are like. This ends up with King liking short stories, Ban liking a book he keeps hiding but, is a romance novel their grandmother used to own..or st least they're sure it is, Meliodas loved reading fanstay books and Diane reading very gore horror stories as well as manga. The manga makes sense but,the gore horror she seems to love a lot more for some unknown reason.

The girls try to show the gems horror movies. Ban kinda likes them. King hates them and hides behind which gem is closest to him, which is always Diane. Diane absolutely loves them. Meliodas on the other hand, he says he liked them but, he hid the entire time into Elizabeth side, covering his ears everytime there was a loud scream. It was like he was remembering something but, he never brought it up. So she never really talked about it.

The gems discover video games. Meliodas is pretty good at them, king is surpsingly good at them, ban...At least he's trying and Diane is kinda good at them.

Meliodas and Elizabeth fuse a lot more in Privatein the words by themselves. The only one who knows is Ban who takes it upon himself to learn more about the fusion.

Big moment:

A new girl's moves in down the street. She's Elizabeth's age but, she's rather sickly. Like she's lost a lot of weight and hair so the girls know it's something serious. Yet, Elizabeth some how befriends her. Which is a big deal. After all this is the first girl she's ever befriended that her sisters don't know. The gems however aren't sure how to feel about her. Since she moved it they need to stay inside more. King loves it, everyone else doesn't like it as much.

Anyways this all comes down to Elizabeth coming over to the girl's house. The girl panics and close the door, yelling at someone before bringing Elizabeth inside. They hangout for a while before Elizabeth does to the bathroom. Once she's done, the power goes out, which she finds odd. She starts feeling around for a light switch and instead has her hand rested against something. The light come back on showing a slightly purple gem.

"Who might you be?" He asks curiously, eyes glowing making Elizabeth scream so loud that the gems can hear her across the street.

Meliodas so break into the house and rushes to Elizabeth. He however soon comes face to face with another gem. He meets Gunther, one of their old friend. Nadja meanwhile is trying to calm Elizabeth down while her partner just stands there looking confused, wondering what the hell is going on much like she is.

[moonraccoon-exe]

Fem 30s ignis headcanon pleasee >

I am so sorry for taking so long, dear anon. Racc had technical difficulties. :((

I’ve been wanting to do yours for a while, I adore Fem!Ignis! I literally have nothing particular in mind for this, so it’s all going to be random and as it appears in my head. Let’s see what happens!  ヽ(・∀・)ﾉ

Apology in advance for typos, this is not second-read/corrected.

Thanks to yuu-be-good and expectogladiolus for giving me a hand; some headcanons are theirs, some are really just addition to them. Not tagging so none feels forced to read, but giving recognition for the help. ( ´ ▽ ` )

Fem! Post journey, WoR and 32 y.o. Ignis random headcanons:

32 y.o. Fem!Ignis wears sport bras on a daily basis.

They’re easier to put on.

Fem!Ignis doesn’t need sight to put on a normal bra, but they do offer a little more struggle, and she’s tired of struggling with everything, so, sport bras for the everyday.

22 y.o. Fem Ignis was already used to sport bras, but she only wore them along the journey when there was long walks and battles ahead. On a casual gear, she wore normal bras (it’s etiquette).

But WoR Fem Ignis does this switch for practicality.

Besides, she feels a little more secure in them; they cover more than normal bras, so while normal bras don’t show off too much and she knows that, it’s the blindness what makes her insecure on it at first and makes her feel more comfy in that switch.

Fem Ignis keeps the hair short (relatively).

Satan @yuu-be-good​ had this terribly heartbreakting pretty darn awesome idea where Fem!Ignis cuts her hair after going blind, go read that stuff.

So, after that, Fem Ignis rarely lets it grow.

It’s practicality, on a side.

On another side that she rarely speaks about, Fem Ignis feels insecure of letting it grow again only to figure she’s still “useless” to comb it.

At some point during WoR, Fem!Ignis is encouraged by Cor and Aranea (individually) to let it grow again.

Even though none talked about it together, both Cor and Aranea feel like having Fem!Ignis let her hair grow again may give her some needed confidence.

Fem!Ignis agrees.

Fem!Ignis is constantly having her hair combed by Aranea.

Fem!Ignis eventually cuts it again, but in a much less painful (emotionally speaking) way.

This time she’s not cutting it out of anger and the sensation of being useless, rather for real practicality.

“When Noct comes back, I’ve got to be ready to fight at his side. I think I prefer to spend my time re-learning how to fight than combing my hair. Besides, I look fantastic with short hair.”

That last part of “I look fantastic” was definitely a joke.

Welp, there you go, Fem!Ignis gained confidence again.

So now you know; 32 y.o. Ignis keeps the hair relatively short, I guess down to the shoulders is fine like in this pretty jewel I ain’t ever stopping to share lmao.

You better not be disgusted by me touching these matters because you asked for Fem!Ignis and really the differences are mostly biological because it’d be the same if I was talking about normal Ignis if I didn’t include this stuff so:

Her period.

Post Altissia Fem Ignis is majorly insecure about her period.

If the rest of the gang are boys, she has twice the reasons to feel insecure.

She hadn’t thought about it until it first happened after her injury, but after it there’s the same subject haunting her:

‘What if I stain my clothes and don’t notice?’

‘What if I didn’t put the pad correctly and the stain goes through my clothes?’

‘I cannot let the others see that. It’ll be embarrassing for me and for them. They won’t tell me because it’ll make them uncomfortable, and with good reasons. Not like I can help my nature, but I understand they will be uncomfortable. And so I’ll walk around all day with the blood stain on my pants. Better not wear any skirts, not anymore, what will I do if a drop…? Gods, this is a mess. Ignis, you’re just putting a pad on your underwear. It’s not like the world will end. It’s not difficult. Just put it on…it’ll be fine, it’ll be fine.”

It sounds a little stupid, but really it’s a new and pretty big struggle for her, being so reserved and such.

When she had her period during the journey to Niflheim, she couldn’t stop being paranoid about being stained all the time; she had no one to ask that wasn’t the boys and she didn’t want to make them uncomfortable.

Not knowing if she was clean or stained almost drives her crazy every day.

It was Gladio who first approached her.

‘Iggy?’ now it’s a whisper to her ear. ‘You’ve got a little stain. Don’t worry, I’ll walk behind you to the room so you can change.’

Talking about her period and pads wasn’t a stranger subject before Altissia, but hearing it after it is a little…different.

The way Gladio’s handling it just like before, so calm and understanding, reassures her.

It’s even more reassuring, even though it’s also a little painful, that Prompto too started handling that matter.

He and Noct weren’t as used to those subjects as Gladio, or didn’t show themselves to be; the journey was constantly filled of “Ew” comments about those biological girl things from the youngest ones, never as a serious disgust, but still.

However, after Altissia, Prom starts talking about it if needed.

He’s not flinching or making the ‘Ew’ comments when Gladio mentions Iggy needs a new pad; Prompto just asks where they are and unpacks it for her.

Fem Iggy felt ashamed of thinking the guys would be disgusted; of course they’d be this supportive, dammit.

These boys love their Iggy, will want her to be as comfy as possible in those days.

During WoR, and after parting ways with Prompto and Gladio, Fem!Ignis takes years to wear a skirt ever again.

It’s being in double darkness and in a world where everything is in chaos when humankind either goes full smart to survive, or, on the other side, full animal, and…well, she was never scared of that before because she could stab anyone, but the double darkness and living among so many strangers and away of her friends is a bit frightening to think about. Considering her looks.

I mean, she knows she can still stab anyone that tries to force her to anything, it’s not what they try to do to her.

It’s that they would try.

It’s the fact that she’s visually scarred and noticeably blind what makes her fear it will make bad men think she’s vulnerable and try to harm her in some way.

She’s not scared of men, she could murder five all on her own, but it’s the mere fact that one could even dare to try what frightens her.

The world is bad enough as it is already, no need to remind her there’s bad people too.

Biggs and Wedge become good friends to her; they grew up with Aranea since teenagers, so they’re pretty fond of befriending women.

It seems like these two have a passion for befriending women who could murder them using only a nail, really.

Don’t worry, both are fantastic friends that never mean any harm or second intentions.

Speaking about nails, Older Fem!Iggy stopped attending to them.

At least during WoR.

She didn’t use to paint them, but she did use that polish thing girls and some guys use to make them sparkly and resistant, but after going blind she just stopped.

Sometimes, if she gets to see Cindy or Iris during WoR, they may paint her nails just for fun.

Tbh Fem!Ignis enjoys those little moments; makes her feel like a relatively normal teenager discovering make-up at a sleepover with friends, and not the blind woman in a world with no sunlight and filled of daemons and danger.

When Fem!Ignis, just like normal Ignis, started re-learning to do all that she knew before her injury, she had constant breakdowns during the first months of it.

You know, like any other person beginning something that they struggle with; to try and try and try and give your best but really you don’t see any progress, so it’s frustrating.

It includes cooking (as suggested by yuu-be-good).

Even though she re-learned mostly with Monica, she too asked Takka to help her start cooking again. 

It once happened that, after weeks and weeks of thinking she’s not progressing, she found she had overcooked a dish and had to leave toanother side of the bar to try to contain herself, but started silently crying anyway.

It’s not just a failed dish. It’s this immense, terribly huge sensation of being useless and this horrible sensation of not progressing in this terrible world after losing her dear friend and brother Noctis for who knows how long, all concentrated in the goddamn fucking overcooked meat. 

She thought she’d be ignored, the restaurant was mostly empty.

Wrong; these hunters saw her and, instead of pity, they were rude and made mean comments.

They had no idea about all the things listed above and they thought Ignis was jsut crying for that failed dish, so they started commenting.

“See, this is why women should stay indoors and behind the safety fences; they’re too emotional and too fragile and sensitive to be hunters. They say she’s trying to be a hunter, but really she’s just weak. Crying for a piece of meat. I’d tell her to stay in the kitchen, but she’s useless there, too.”

[[[It’s very rare for this kind of comments to be ever heard in any part of Eos in these modern days (we in the real world should learn from them, huh), so hearing a troglodyte speak this shit is like seeing a shooting star. Except it’s ugly and disgusting, but eh.]]] 

Fem!Ignis heard them.

Ohboi.

Fem!Ignis is so triggered.

Fem!Ignis is so stopping the tears, calmly exiting, and returning with a dead Anak an hour later.

The hunters just look at her without a single scratch and lance in hand and suddenly she’s cooking some of its meat and serves it to them.

“Enjoy your food, gentlemen. And an apology for taking so long, but seen as none of you have been able to get a single good hunt in the past two weeks, there was nothing to cook and had to get my useless arse out of the kitchen to get a decent hunt myself. I hope it doesn’t taste like sensibility and fragilness.”

You don’t call Ignis by Useless, she’s triggered.

Enough about WoR Fem!Iggy, let’s see how our post-game 32 y.o. Fem!Iggy is doing.

32 y.o. Fem!Iggy has mastered braiding hair again.

It took a couple years, but now she’s gotten it.

She still keeps her hair short, but she enjoys to braid her friends’, Gladio included (and if the man lets her…which really isn’t any difficult to get).

Post-story Fem!Ignis sometimes likes to let Iris “pretty her up”; whether it’s some formal party or just a random occassion (not to speak about the anniversaries’ to Noctis’ birth and death, which have become formal celebrations in Lucis), Fem!Ignis likes to meet with Iris so both dress together.

Even though Ignis’ hair is much shorter to what she used to have it when younger, Iris will find ways to make some bun out of it.

“How do you do this when you’ve had the hair short yourself for most of your life?”

“It’s magic, Iggy.”

Iris is in charge of Ignis’ make-up.

Fem Ignis has stopped to ask for “something very subtle” because Iris will anyway do whatever the fuck she wants. 

Don’t worry, Ignis is comfy with her work.

“Not like I can see it, anyway.”

Don’t be so rude, Iggy.

(she’s not, don’t worry. She loves Iris, but does feel a bit embarrassed thinking of the things Iris could have done to her face, because, whatever Iris does, it always drags so many stares to Iggy. She doens’t need to see to feel them).

Speaking of which; 30′s y.o. Ignis is embarrassed about make-up (only with time and a lot of a stubborn Iris insisting every time there’s an special ocassion to dress up could fix it…is still fixing it. But in reality Ignis feels embarrassed about it).

It’s not that she doesn’t like that but…

“I feel…when you can only put shadow and mascara to one eye, I feel a little ugly, Iris. Asymmetrical.  And if you tried to put some to the scarred one, I’d just feel even uglier. Burnt, wrinkled, scarred skin with make-up. Not the most…enjoyable of sights.”

She doesn’t find herself to be ugly all the time, but she thinks that when everything is dressed and decorated to look five times the prettier and then you add to it the left side of her face, it’s just making the ugly much more outstanding too.

Goddammit, Ignis, you’re a radiant woman, stop it. 

It’s why, whenever there’s those kind of parties or events, Ignis really likes to be accompanied all the time by any of her friends, Iris, Gladio or Prompto as preference, thank you very much, just for some confidence.

As suggested by expectogladiolus, 30′s y.o. Fem!Ignis doesn’t like the idea of owning a pet.

She’s got an amazing independence to herself, but she’s still blind, nonetheless, and can’t do some stuff; hence, she feels that taking care of a pet is a responsibility she shouldn’t take.

“I get your point about how it would keep me company, Prompto, but really, this precious dog would be attended much better with a sighted person. I don’t want any pet to struggle because I struggle with them.”

But, Fem!Ignis loves Prompto’s dog, and Gladio’s.

Whenever the three meet and the dogs come along, the doggos forget about their owners and tackle Iggy.

She’s always petting and scratching them.

Btw, Prom’s doggo is Umbra. 

30 y.o.’s Iggy still wears gloves most of the time even though she doesn’t have to drive or fight anymore.

Her sensing skills are very developed, and not just in hearing or smells; touching can get a bit overwhelming, because not only doees she feels more when she comes in physical touch with something, touching is also the most most of sensing.

So, gloves that is.

30 y.o.’s Fem Ignis owns and enjoys of audio books (as suggested by yuu-be-good).

Tbh she feels a bit embarrassed/shy about ahving someone reading to her……unless it’s Gladio or Prompto.

If it’s any of her boys, then she greatly and very dearly enjoys to be read to. She feels comfy with them, and when any of them reads to her it doesn’t feel like they’re doing it mechanically, like reading machines, no; Gladio is enjoying the books himself, sometimes Prompto too, but what Ignis really likes is that it really feels like they reader fo her. That they understand what they’re reading, not just reading it, and that they’re doing it only and just for her.

Anon, do you ship Fem!Ignis and Gladio?

Because damn hell I DO and you cannot stop me:

30 y.o.’s Ignis and Gladio have gotten back together post-game.

Whenever there’s those parties or minor events in which Iris likes to put make-up on Fem!Ignis, it’s Gladio, at nights, who helps clean it off.

Parties and some events tend to end late at night, so Iris has long left somewhere else (at her own place, perhaps, now that she’s 25/older?).

Besides, it’s not like Ignis would like anybody else to take her make-up off.

Gladio’s often kissing her head as a way of, with time, make Iggy comfy about her hair.

I should explain, back in younger days, Gladio liked to take locks of her hair and kiss them, sonow that they’re back together, Fem!Ignis spoke about letting it grow again.

Gladio simply kissed her head instead, and insisted no matter what haircut Iggy has, he loves it; that kissing her hair was never meant to show love for it, it was a way of showing love for her.

Even though it was never a subject they talked about in younger years and even though it’s not something they’ve talked about now post-story, Fem!Iggy has given a lot of thought on whether she’d like to be mom or not.

On a side, she’s scared at the idea of being mom because of her sight (as suggested by expectogladiolus).

At some point she asks Gladio if he’d like his own family.

“I’m not telling you what I want until you tell me what you want, Iggy. Knowing you, you’d give up your own dream, whether it’s having kids or not, just to please mine, and no way am I letting you do that, Scientia. You tell me first, then I tell you what I want, and I won’t lie about it. Promise. But you first.”

It took a while, but soon she opened to him about it.

“On a side…I do kind of wish to. It’s you. It’s us…but, on another side, I’m insecure on it. I don’t want to put the pressure of a blind mom on a child. It’s supposed I take care of them, not them having to help me.”

You’d think Gladio is going to feel pity? Nah man, he’s going to laugh lowly and kiss Iggy on the scarred eye.

“And since when do you need help with anything, Iggy? You can’t see, true, but you don’t even need to. Iggy, you fought and killed an ASTRAL like this. A child is no troubles.”

“To be sincere, a child frightens me most than any Astral.”

Fem!Ignis is a bit insecure, but eventually admits she’d like it.

“You know, Iggy” Gladio whispers, “I’d like it too.”

And that leads us to this from long ago: http://moonraccoon-exe.tumblr.com/post/161893118378/idk-about-but-i-do-really-like-to-think-that

30′s y.o. Iggy is fantastic, okay.

Goddammit, I love Fem!Ignis.

I hope this gets close to what you wanted, anon? And I dearly hope you see it! If you can, I’d be grateful if you let me know that you saw this.

I had fun with this. Thank you! ( ´ ▽ ` )