#instead it’s 15k of Stuff with no way to finish it
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micamicster · 10 months ago
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I should participate in the grand tumblr tradition and just post random scenes I’ve written for various fics I’ll never finish but alas i am personally not allowed to so instead they live on my computer in scrivener files where they will wither and die
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thewritingrowlet · 6 months ago
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The White Swan, ft. tripleS Ji Seoyeon
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tags: first time (with a small twist), creampie, friends-to-lovers (kinda), (a lot of) pet names
word count: 15k+ words
author's note: here it is, The White Swan fic that I've mentioned before. I know that it's a long one and I should probably write shorter fics but I just couldn't help it. Lmk what you think. Thanks for reading <3
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Ballet [noun; ba-ley, bal-ey]
“A classical dance form demanding grace and precision and employing formalized steps and gestures set in intricate, flowing patterns to create expression through movement.”
“Yeah, so what is that exactly?”, you wonder to yourself after looking up the word’s definition in the dictionary on your phone. “Grace and precision, huh? Interesting”, you continue. You put your phone in your pocket and promise yourself you’ll look up videos of people performing ballet when you get home as you keep walking past the lit-but-empty classrooms—it’s past 7 pm; most undergrads are at home, allowing the time and space for postgrads to do their stuff. You, a 3rd-year student, just finished tutoring Business Mathematics II on the 2nd floor of the F building to a bunch of sophomores and are now on your way home.
At least that was the plan, until you hear music coming out of one of the classrooms on the first floor. The music itself piques your curiosity, as you stop in front of the door of said classroom and look through the tinted glass door. You see that the chairs have been moved to the sides, creating a big empty space for the girl in the middle of the classroom; “wait, a girl?”, you think to yourself as you move your face closer to the glass. You keep your eyes on the girl wearing a long-sleeve T-shirt and grey training pants who’s dancing in that empty space; “that looks graceful and precise”, you mutter under your breath.
If someone were to see what you’re doing right now, they would most likely think you were a creep. You can’t even begin to describe how captivating and supple and charming the girl’s movements are. You also can’t help but keep your eyes on the girl the whole time—that is until the music ends, and she makes eye contact with you and starts walking to the door. It doesn't quite help you that she has a serious face on as she’s turning the door handle. “Hi, can I help you?”, she says. You don’t want her to think that you were stalking her, so you muster up your courage and get ready to apologize for peeking at her through the glass door like that. You start by bowing slightly before opening your mouth, “I was walking down from the 2nd floor and heard music coming out of this classroom, so I decided to see what was going on and ended up looking like a creep—which I’m not, just so we’re clear. I apologize for being so rude”.
You dare not look into her eyes and decide to look at your shoes instead while bracing for pain in case she slaps you in the face—let’s be real; it would be understandable on her part and deserving on yours. To your absolute surprise, she laughs instead; “oh, it’s fine”, she says, “you know, I’m kinda honored that someone decided to stop what they were doing and were fascinated by my routine”. You look up and see that she’s holding out a hand, probably looking to shake yours; “my name is Ji Seoyeon, but some call me Jiyeon to avoid confusion with someone else—you probably know who I’m talking about”, she says.
You nod at her words—she’s referring to Yoon Seoyeon, a fellow 3rd-year and the current president of the student council who also happens to be on the dean’s list; the girl does it all and boy does she do it well. You shyly take her hand for a handshake, and she surprises you one more time; “wait, aren’t you one of Professor Kim’s teaching assistants? I’ve been to one of your classes before. I think it was Business Mathematics II”, she reveals to you. “Funny you should say that”, you chuckle, “I just finished tutoring BM II and you weren’t there—for obvious reasons”. Her big eyes get even bigger due to her shock hearing your words and she runs to check her phone; “oh my goodness, it is Tuesday! I should’ve gone to your class!”, she exclaims and covers her face with her hands in embarrassment, “I’m so sorry, sunbaenim. I forgot that it was Tuesday thus I missed your class”. You shake your head and tell her that it’s not a big deal since TA’s classes aren’t mandatory.
“So, what now? Are you going to practice again?”, you ask. Jiyeon opens her mouth but before the words can come out, her stomach answers for her with a growl. “Oh, you must be hungry. Haven’t eaten yet?”, you are as surprised as she is. “I wanted to get dinner after practicing b-but you got to me first”, she turns her face away to hide her embarrassment. “I know I’m overstepping here but can I treat you to dinner?”, you offer her, hoping that she won’t take it as anything else other than a gesture of kindness and apology. Jiyeon looks down at her shoes before answering, “um, yes, please. Let me wipe myself first, though; I’m very sweaty”.
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You find yourself walking towards the campus gate with Jiyeon, and you see your friend Suyeon in front of it, presumably waiting for someone or something. You walk up to her and tap her shoulder, “yo, waiting for someone?”. She turns to your direction and gives you a fist bump, “yeah, waiting for my Uber. What about you?”. You tell her your plan to get dinner before going home. “Sounds nice, can I come along?”, as soon as Suyeon says that, she makes eye contact with Jiyeon, “oh, you already have company. I would hate to third wheel”. You take a step back so that the two girls can face each other, “Suyeon-ah, this is Ji Seoyeon—also known as Jiyeon. Jiyeon-ah, this is my friend, Suyeon”. Suyeon shakes Jiyeon’s hand and asks, “Seoyeon? Like the president?”. Jiyeon answers timidly, “exactly like the president, sunbaenim. Please call me Jiyeon”. Before Suyeon starts assuming things, you jump to clarify, “I, uh, was spying on her like a weirdo when she was practicing in an empty classroom so now, I want to treat her to dinner as an apology”. “I didn’t ask”, Suyeon says before laughing, “nice to meet you, Jiyeon-ah. Tell me if he tries anything and I will whoop his ass for you”. You roll your eyes, “I might be single but I’m not a degenerate, Kim Suyeon”. “True, you’re actually nice and respectful—now get out of here, she must be starving already”, Suyeon gives you another fist bump and sends you on your way.
“So, any idea what to get?”, you ask Jiyeon as you two leave the campus area. “I kinda want something warm—something with broth or soup”, she says. “I don’t usually eat that sort of food, so I have no idea, sorry”, you admit your cluelessness. “That’s okay, we can go to my favorite spot if you don’t mind”, she says. “I sure don’t; lead the way”, you tell her. “Can we get an Uber? It’s like 5 kilometers away from here—I’ll pay, don’t worry”, she suggests. Walking for 5 kilometers is not only tiring, but also time consuming, so you agree with her suggestion; “yeah, we can get an Uber. I’ll pay for it, it’s okay—I’m not accepting counter arguments, by the way”.
You two stop in your tracks and wait for Jiyeon to call an Uber. Lucky for you, the app shows her that the car is 3 minutes away from your location, so you try to make small talk as you wait; “so what were you practicing? Your moves looked delicate, for a lack of better words”. You see a light of excitement in her eyes as she answers you, “that was ballet”. “Ballet, huh?”, you say internally. “There’s a ballet competition coming up in like 3 weeks or so and I’ve been preparing for that since last week”, she adds. “Do you think I can go and watch you perform?”, you ask her with as genuine a voice as possible. “You probably can”, she fiddles with her phone, presumably to ask someone about your question, “I’m gonna ask the contact person and find out exactly”. You see the car pulling up to you, so you save the rest of the conversation for later.
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You’re now standing in front of a noodle soup restaurant and Jiyeon leads you into it. She walks straight to the register and tells the person attending it her order. She asks you what you want to eat but since you’re not familiar with the place, you ask her to order for you. After ordering, she leads you to her favorite table and takes a seat in front of you. “Oppa”, she says while looking at her phone, “the person said you can watch but you’ll need a ticket. How many do you want?”. Your heart flutters when you hear her call you that, but you quickly compose yourself and answer her question, “I’ll just take one, I don’t know if any of my friends would be interested in watching ballet. Can you ask them if there’s a better seat, by the way? I don’t mind paying extra as long as I get better view to see you perform”.
It is when Jiyeon gets off her phone does she realize what she just called you, “I’m sorry, sunbaenim”. You have an idea as to what she’s apologizing, but it doesn't hurt to make sure; “for what?”, you ask back. “I called you ‘oppa’ earlier, but I don’t know if I can call you that”, she says, apologetic. You wave off her concern, “it’s fine, there’s no need to act so formal with me”. You can feel that things are getting awkward, as shown by how Jiyeon speaks way less compared to earlier. Lucky for you, a waiter stops at your table and drops off your orders. Lucky for you again, Jiyeon seems to be excited seeing the bowl of warm noodle soup in front of her; “thank you for the meal!”, she says with excitement in her voice.
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“Thank you for buying me dinner, sunbaenim”, she says while the two of you stand outside the restaurant. “The pleasure is mine, Jiyeon-ah.Any update about the ticket?”, you say to her. “Oh, right”, she fishes her phone from her pocket again and checks her messages, “okay so, the VIP ticket costs ₩8.000 and ₩10.000 for VVIP. VVIP is guaranteed to be on the first two rows while VIP is 3-5”. It’s a no-brainer for you, really; “I’ll take the 10k one, I need to make sure I’ll be able to see you”, you tell her. You pretend to not see her blush, but it’s kind of hard to do so you look away for a second as her fingers pace around on her phone screen restlessly. “Oppa”, you’re really starting to think that she’s become more comfortable with you, “the person said they need 1 or 2 days to process your purchase. In the meantime, can-can I, uh, have your number?”. You tell her your number digit by digit and manage to peek at the name she gives you; “BM TA-oppa”, how cute. After saving your contact information, she calls your number so that you can save hers on your phone. Your dullness leads you to naming her “Ji Seoyeon”, just like how you name everyone else on your phone aside from your parents.
“May I ask what your plan is after this?”, you ask Jiyeon. “I’m gonna walk home, I think; I don’t live far from here, somewhere in that direction”, she points vaguely to her left. You offer to walk with her to her apartment, and she says yes right away—she most likely heard what Suyeon said about you at the gate and thought that you wouldn’t try anything stupid with her, which is absolutely correct. You also offer to help her carry her tote bag and start walking in the direction she pointed at.
As you’re walking side by side with Jiyeon, your brain suggests asking her about ballet; “what is ballet to you, Jiyeon-ah?”. She stays silent for a few seconds before taking a deep breath, “ballet is a lot of things, oppa”. You’re not quite sure what she means, so you ask her to explain further. “First of all, ballet has taught me self-control and discipline; you can’t be good at ballet if you lack those two things—how can you convey grace and emotions, which is the whole point of ballet, to the audience if you can’t control yourself and be disciplined?”, she explains to you. You can tell that she has quite the experience and wisdom under her belt judging by her answer; “may I ask how long you’ve been into ballet? Your answer sounds like that from someone with experience”, you say to her. She scratches her temple, “Since I was 8 or 9, I think?”.
You finally arrive at her building after about 5 minutes of walking, so you hand her tote bag back to Jiyeon. She waves at you with a smile before entering her building, so you wave back before walking away. You’re only a dozen steps away from her building when you feel a tap on your shoulder. You turn around and see that it’s Jiyeon; “can I help you?”, you ask her. “Um, yes, you can; can you help me find empty classrooms to practice in?”. You do have that sort of reach as a teaching assistant, so you tell her that you indeed can, “when are you looking to practice?”. She pulls out her phone again and looks at her schedules, “Friday evening this week, Wednesday and Friday evening the following week, and finally Tuesday and Wednesday the week after that—each session will be like 2 hours long, by the way. I will miss another class of yours in that 3rd week, so I apologize in advance”. You pull out your phone and write down her practice schedules on the notes app, “I can secure a classroom for you this Friday but I’ll need to talk to some people for the other schedules”, you say to her. “Thank you, oppa. See you on Friday!”, she waves at you again before running back to her building.
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Friday comes sooner than you anticipated, which means that you’ll be seeing Jiyeon after this tutoring session. You wrap up your class after the 55 minutes are up and send the freshmen on their way while urging them to be quick, stating that you have an important meeting after this—Jiyeon is important to you, so you’re not exactly lying to them. Once the class is clear of people, you send a text to Jiyeon, “I’m in Classroom 2-4 on the F building, it’s clear here”. She replies right away and says that she’s on her way to you, so you start moving the chairs to the side and make some room for Jiyeon.
Her timing couldn’t be more perfect, as you hear a knock on the door as soon as you’re done clearing the room. You tell her to come in and see that she’s in a different practice outfit from a few days ago. “Hiiii”, she says as she closes the door behind her. “Hello, Jiyeon-ah. How are you today?”, you greet the ballerina. “A couple of questions before we start”, she says, “number one; can I actually call you ‘oppa’? Number two; how did you manage to find an empty classroom for me seemingly so easily?”. You sit down on the teacher’s chair, “number one: yes, you can. Number two: did you forget that I’m a TA? I can do these sort of things, you know—Professor Kim gave me this freedom when I became her TA”. Jiyeon nods to your answers, “very cool”. You take your backpack and head to the door. “Oppa, where are you going?”, she asks. You’re caught off guard by her question, “Oh, I don’t know; I just thought I should leave and give you some privacy”. She rushes to you and grabs your wrist, “do you not want to watch me practice? I can give you an exclusive preview for the competition”. That sounds like a fun time as much as it is a spoiler, so you concur and take a seat at the teacher’s desk.
“Start the music on my signal, please”, she hands you her phone and takes the center spot. She mouths the countdown, and you press play right after she finishes it. The same music from a few days ago starts playing, and Jiyeon starts her routine right away. You are immediately fascinated by her movements, and you can’t help but be silent and wholeheartedly pay attention. You find every movement she’s making to be charming and moving but can’t string the words together to describe it; “this must be what a pro looks like”, you think to yourself.
You’re completely entranced by the sight in front of you that you don’t realize that the performance is complete. Only when she sighs do you come back to your senses and feel the tears that are falling out of your eyes and onto your cheeks. “That was not as good as I wanted, I’m sorry”, she says. She hears your subtle sniffle and looks at you perplexedly, “are you okay, oppa? Why are you crying?”. You sniffle before answering her, “wha-what do you mean that wasn’t good? Like-like… what?”. You wipe your eyes with your hands before continuing your speech, “that was… sooo beautiful and charming and captivating and flawless and-and-and—oh, God, I’ve never seen anything like that before in my life”. Jiyeon walks up to you and lifts your chin with a smile on her face, “you’re so sweet, oppa; Suyeon-sunbaenim was right”. She then wipes your tears softly with her thumbs, “thank you for the kind words, oppa. They mean a lot to me, you know”.
You take a few deep breaths to compose yourself before sighing, “I swear I’ll cry like a damn baby if I see you perform this at the competition”. She walks back to her spot and assumes a perfect standing posture, “I’m sorry, I should’ve started with something lighter—I’ll do it now, actually. Here, play the 24th song”. You’re surprised to hear the number, “you have 24 routines, dear?”. She blushes and covers her face when she hears the pet name, “ki-kind of—aaaaaah don’t call me that, oppaaaaa”. You lightly slap your mouth, “I’m so sorry; force of habit from my parents”. Jiyeon exhales and focuses again, “press play now, the song doesn’t start until after a few seconds”.
She stands by and waits for the song to start, which takes about 5 seconds after you pressed play. You’re totally bewitched again and brought back to a trance like earlier, as you sit with your mouth open like a dumbass. “Whoa”, you mutter under your breath, “this girl is crazy good”. You wish you were able to come up with a sentence—or a paragraph—that can describe the way she’s moving right now. It just so happens that your brain is too busy trying to comprehend what you are looking at. At some point, your brain decides to give up and tells your eyes to shed more tears. Unlike earlier, however, you can feel your tears rush down your face; “so this is ballet, huh?”, you say to yourself.
Her routine ends with her looking straight at you, so you cover your eyes to hide the flowing tears. Judging by her pants, she seems to be tired—if you’re doing something that passionately the way she is now, you’re guaranteed to be tired after. You turn away from her and wipe your eyes before saying anything. “I’m so sorry, you must think I’m some sort of a loser for crying so much”, you admit your defeat despite feeling embarrassed. “No, I don’t”, she says, “you have a good heart and that’s always a great sight to see”. She walks to her stuff and grabs a bottle of water, “would you like some water?”. You decline her offer by shaking your head, “with the way I’m crying right now, I’ll just drink my tears”.
She laughs before taking a gulp herself, “you know, I’ve never had someone cry when they watch me practice before, and I’ve practiced in front of people many times”. You look down in shame, “I’m sorry, I don’t know what has gotten into me”. “Thank you, oppa”, she utters. You turn to face her, “huh? For what?”. She exhales deeply before replying, “for showing genuine interest in my craft”. To your surprise, she decides to give you a peck in the cheek, thus forcing you to blush. “I’m just being myself, Jiyeon-ah”, you say. “That’s not my name, is it?”, she giggles cutely, “where did the pet name go? Did a cat steal it, oppa?”. You feel your cheeks get hotter, “are you sure I can call you that? I mean, the first one was an accident”. She shrugs, “I don’t see why not. Accidents aren’t always bad, oppa; they can lead you to great things too, you know”.
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You stayed with her until the end of her practice, which took about 2 hours in total. With every routine she did, you laid a brick to build up some resemblance of mental toughness to not bawl your eyes out the whole time—you’re slightly worried that you’ll eventually be desensitized by the gracefulness that she’s showing you through ballet, but that’s a problem for another time. “Dear”, you call out to Jiyeon, who is now lying on her stomach while fiddling with her phone, to get her attention, “can I treat you to dinner again after this?”. She rolls onto her back to look at you, “Sure, what are we getting?”. You open your notes app scroll through the list of good restaurants nearby, “tteokbokkiand popcorn chicken? Malatang? Noodle soup like last time, maybe?”. “The first option sounds good. Can we get that?”, Jiyeon says. “We sure can, we’ll take my car and drive there”, you stand up from your seat and help her get on her feet. “Wait outside, dear; I wanna change clothes first”, she says. You rush to exit the room to make sure Jiyeon doesn’t see the blush and shock on your face.
You wait outside as she asked, and it didn’t take long until you feel a tap on your shoulder. “Let’s go, oppa”, she says. “Man, I would love to hear the pet name again”, you silently wish, “yeah, let’s go. My car is in the parking lot”. “I didn’t know you had a car”, she comments as the two of you start walking. “And I didn’t know you were a ballet prodigy—surprise, surprise”, you joke. She laughs enthusiastically at your small joke and suggests a brilliant idea; one you’ve been waiting for her to say, “we should get to know each other better soon, oppa. I like surprises and all that but not when I’m looking for a boyfriend”. You pretend to not hear what she just said and keep walking until you reach your car.
You unlock the doors and get in with Jiyeon. “Why is your car so clean, oppa?”, she looks around the interior and even opens the glovebox—you’re surprised to see her do that but thankfully you barely keep stuff in it so she doesn’t find anything that might raise suspicion. You know you got caught, so you admit to her that you had your car all cleaned up yesterday to prepare for the dinner “date” tonight. “Ah, good job thinking ahead”, she praises you. You head to the exit and call out to your phone to find the quickest route to get to your destination; “8 minutes to destination”, it says. As much as you want to act like you were that famous racer Scott Chegg and beat the estimated time, you have an important passenger next to you right now, so you suppress your intrusive thoughts and drive like a sane person.
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“Alright, let’s park here and walk. The restaurant is in that alleyway to your left—stay in the car for a sec, please”, you say to her after parking your car and killing its engine. Jiyeon does as you say, and it gives you enough time to rush to the other side of the car and open the door for her; “my lady”, you say, offering her your hand to help her get out of the car. “Aww, so cute”, she takes your hand and gets out of the car. Jiyeon decides that it’s now okay to have more physical contacts with you, as she leans her head against your shoulder while wrapping an arm around yours. As much as you enjoy it, you don’t want to let your horses run out of the barn just yet; there’ll be plenty of opportunities to do so in the future (hopefully). You point to the restaurant that has a bright yellow and blue sign and lead her to it.
“Good evening, welcome to Terrific Tteokbokki. What can I get you today?”, the staff greets you. You’re familiar with this place, so it’s your turn today to order for the two of you, “hi, good evening. Can we get one large bowl of Terrific Combo and two drinks?”. “Absolutely”, the staff’s finger scurries around the computer screen in front of him, “that would be ₩9000 with the drinks”. You see Jiyeon pull out her wallet as you do yours, so you hold her hand back and insist on paying for tonight’s dinner. The staff then hands you two large empty cups for the bottomless drink that comes with the combo. You hand Jiyeon a cup and walk over to the drink machine with her. You fill your cup with iced lemon tea while she fills hers with zero-sugar soda. “You like soda, Jiyeon-ah?”, you ask her. “Only if it’s zero-sugar, otherwise it’s too much sugar—paying attention to what you eat and drink is important, oppa. I suggest doing so if you haven’t already”, she says. You then tell her that you only pay attention to how much you eat and how much you exercise in a day but not to the actual nutritional contents of your food.
You both find a table to sit at and wait for your food to be delivered. Jiyeon follows up on the conversation from a few minutes ago; “can I ask what your exercise is like?”, she asks. “I play basketball for at least an hour on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday and lift weights on Monday and Thursday. On the weekend I usually get on the treadmill to get my steps in”, you explain to her. “You play basketball, oppa?”, she looks at you in disbelief. You’re not quite sure why or how she finds that to be surprising considering your height—anyone who sees your height usually assume that you play either basketball or volleyball, “yeah, I was a role player playing off the bench as a freshman when Yoon Seoyeon’s boyfriend was the captain and I won the national championship with him. I left the team in my sophomore year after he graduated—he got summa cum laude, by the way. My man instantly got a job after graduating at a tech startup after that. He was always the big brain both on the court and in the classroom”, you tell her. “But why did you leave the team? You could’ve taken over as the captain”, she presses on. You sigh at the cheerless memory, “the captain left some gigantic shoes to fill, and no one could fit in them, including myself—no one could replicate what he was as a leader and a player. Team morale started sinking to the bottom of the Mariana Trench as we started crashing out of tournaments as favorites, so I decided to dip and became a TA instead”. You see a bright lightbulb float over her head as she suggests an idea, “can we have a little basketball date one day, oppa? I would love to learn basketball from you”. “We sure can, dear. Just tell me when”, you smile at her.
“Thank you for the meal!”, Jiyeon says with an excited face after a waiter drops off the food on your table. “That is so good, oppa. Do you come here often?”, she says. You swallow your mouthful before replying, “yeah, the captain used to take us here on the weekends. He was such a good guy, no wonder Seoyeon loves him so much”. She tilts her head in curiosity, “you speak so highly of this captain, oppa. Can I ask what sort of relationship you have with him?”. Recounting the cheerful memory helps draw a smile on your face, “he was the true leader for us; his presence alone could lift the spirit of every player around him. Not to mention that he was such a great scorer and facilitator for the team. We all relied on him every time he was on the floor”.
In the corner of your eyes, you see a tall guy start walking up to you and Jiyeon from the cashier area. “Yo, yo”, the guy says, so you look over and see that it’s the captain that you were talking about. “Hyung!”, you drop your jaw in shock, “what are you doing here?”. He gives you a fist bump, “I’m getting some food for me and Seoyeon. What are you doing here?”. You wipe your mouth before answering him, “I’m treating my friend here for dinner. It’s so nice to meet you, hyung. How are you?”. You see that gentle smile that you always liked on his face, “I’m doing very well, man. Would you mind introducing me to this friend of yours?”. You turn to Jiyeon, “hyung, this is my friend Ji Seoyeon—yes, the same first name as your girlfriend—Jiyeon-ah, this is my captain”. Jiyeon stands up and greets him, “hello, sunbaenim. Nice to meet you”. “Oh, there’s always room for more sweet girls named Seoyeon in this world. Please, have a seat”, he says, “tell me something, Jiyeon-ah: is he treating you well? I’ll kick his ass to the ground for you if he ever tries anything dumb with you”. Jiyeon laughs shyly, “he’s actually very kind and sweet, sunbaenim. He even helped me find an empty classroom so that I can practice ballet”. Captain-hyung nods in approval, “Ballet, huh? That’s great to hear; I could tell that he was a good person when he first joined us for practice. I sometimes wish we could utilize him more during that run”. His words make you shy, “oh, c’mon, hyung; you know I was always happy with my role, right?”. “Oh, I know”, he pats you on the back, “we couldn’t have done it without you”.
You hear the staff call out his name, which means that his order is ready to be picked up and it’s time for him to leave. “I tried paying for your food, but I was told that you already paid so your next visit here is on me, you can buy whatever you want and I’ll pay”, he waves goodbye before walking out the door, “I’ll see you soon, okay?”. You don’t realize that you still have a smile on your face until Jiyeon tells you about it, “you like him that much, huh?”. You turn your focus back to Jiyeon and the food in front of you, “I love him”. Jiyeon smiles hearing you say that, “but do you love me?”. Your eyes nearly jump out of their sockets due to the surprise, “o-oh, um, I-I do, honestly—I hope that’s not too presumptuous of me”. Jiyeon looks down at the table to hide her pink hue, “I love you too, dear”.
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“Oppa”, she says, standing outside the restaurant, “can you take me home, please?”. “Absolutely, dear”, you get in the car with Jiyeon and start it so you can take her home. “Can I play some music, oppa? There’s this group that I’ve been obsessed with”, she says. You give her your approval, so she connects her phone with your car’s speakers over Bluetooth. “This song is called Girls Never Die, oppa”, she says as the song starts playing. You listen and pay attention to the song that’s playing over the speakers as you keep driving. You find the lyrics to be moving and meaningful while the beat is uplifting; “this is a great song”, you think. “What do you think, oppa?”, she asks. “I think it’s a great song”, you offer her your take, “I really like how they say ‘even if I fall, I stand back up’ and ‘I’m going until the end and not giving up. I think such messages are very uplifting and relatable, especially coming from a girl group. Combine that message with the beat that it’s delivered with, and it’s just an amazing song. The title itself is great, by the way. What group is this?”. She smiles in approval of your opinion, “they’re called tripleS and they have 24 members, oppa. I’ve been listening to their songs a lot recently for the messages that each one delivers”. You squint your eyes, “isn’t 24 too many?”. Jiyeon chuckles, “apparently not, no”.
-
“We’re here, dear”, you announce to Jiyeon, who happened to fall asleep during the ride. She slowly wakes up from her peaceful nap, “we are? That’s unfortunate”. You look at her with a confused face, “what do you mean?”. She stretches her arms and yawns, “I would love to spend more time with you”. Your horses start getting excited, but you hold them for now, “we can do that in the future. You should rest, you must be tired from practicing”. She twiddles her finger, showing you some aegyo, “can you open my door like before?”. You get out of the car with a smile on your face and open the passenger door for her, “may I, sweetie?”. “Aaaah, oppaaa”, she takes your hand while her cheeks are on fire—with how often she’s blushing tonight, you might as well start calling her tomato cheeks. You walk her to the door of her building and say your farewell. Instead of walking into her building, she decides to walk closer to you. “Can I help you, dear?”, you ask, unsure of her intentions. “Lean forward, please”, she says. You lean forward as requested and your new height allows her to give you a peck on the lips while being on her tippy toes. “I love you”, she confesses. You get to her eye level and reciprocate her confession while looking straight into her big eyes, “I love you too, baby”. “That’s new”, she giggles before sighing, “I was going to ask you to come up with me but I’m super tired. I’m sorry, oppa”. You pet her head softly, “we’ll get more chances in the future, trust me. I’ll see you for your next practice, okay?”
-
Today is Tuesday in the third week of her schedule. It's been two weeks since Jiyeon kissed you (well, pecked you on the lips) in front of her building. You helped her secure one of the big classrooms on the 3rd floor last week so that she could have more space to practice. She even asked you to record her practices because she wanted to monitor herself after. Just like week one, you brought her to dinner and took her home after each session, all that while getting to know each other better with every conversation and every bit of skinship.
Today’s practice session has just ended, too. “Oppa, I’m going straight home. You don’t have to buy me dinner”, she says while sitting on the floor and leaning against a wall—“she’s not as high-spirited as usual”, you say in your head. “Can I take you home?”, you offer her as you grab your keys. Jiyeon rejects your offer by shaking her head, “I’ll take the bus and walk after that. Thank you for the offer, though”. You come up to Jiyeon and kneel in front of her to get to her eye level, “are you okay?”. You see on her face that she has a lot of things in mind; “honestly, I’m not. Today was rough”, her deep sigh sends a pang of sadness to your heart, “I don’t feel like talking about it right now, sorry”. She signs to you that she wants to be helped onto her feet, so you stand up and help her up. “We can walk together to the gate, though”, she says.
Jiyeon has been silent the whole way to the gate, and it has become very obvious to you that she’s not feeling well at all—depressing sight, really. It’s a shame that you don’t know who she usually hangs out with because otherwise you’d be able to ask what she likes and get it for her as a small gift next time you see her. “Thank you, oppa. I’ll walk to the bus station, get on a bus, and then continue walking to my building”, she says when you two arrive at the gate. You nod, “I hope you feel better soon. Tell me if I can help you in any way, okay?”. You two exchange goodbyes and go in different directions after.
-
You just arrive at your apartment and walk straight to the bathroom after dropping your stuff at the door. You stand in the shower wondering what you can do to help Jiyeon feel better. After exploring potential options, you eventually come up with an idea to buy her some chocolate and chips when you see her tomorrow for her last practice before the competition. You hear a chime from your phone as you’re getting out of the shower. When you go check it, it’s a bunch of text messages from Jiyeon.
[Ji Seoyeon❤️| 21:24]
Oppa
I just finished showering, in bed rn
I’m so sorry for being a bitch to you earlier
I’ll see you tomorrow for my last practice
Thank you for being so kind to me all the time <3
You rub your eyes in disbelief—there’s no way she just called herself a bitch. You then form your replies and send it to her.
[You | 21:25]
Hi sweetie
No, you weren’t being a bitch
Don’t call yourself that ever again
It’s okay to not feel well sometimes
I can tell that you’re tired and possibly frustrated
Lmk if I can help
I’ll see you tomorrow, dear <3
Jiyeon sees the text that you sent her; “oh, he can tell I’m not feeling well; was it too obvious?”, she says to herself. “Oppa”, she sighs, “what would I do without you?”. Jiyeon tries to come up with another reply, wanting to express her gratitude and love for you, but then decides against it and chooses to say it to you directly tomorrow. She lies in her bed and feels tears flowing out; “if only you know how grateful I am for you, oppa”, she wipes the tears on her cheeks with her hand, “I will make you mine, oppa; no one else deserves you more than me”.
-
Every day you wake up and feel a rush of excitement in your heart at the prospect of seeing Jiyeon. You are, however, a bit sad and concerned as this Wednesday is the last day of practice and you’re not sure if she’ll be down to seeing you again after the competition. You have secured the same classroom as yesterday for her to practice in tonight, so at least you have that going for you. You put your worries to the side and promise yourself that you’ll accept whatever outcome you might get today.
You get in the car after showering and putting on an old jersey and shorts, ready to go to the supermarket to get some groceries since you plan on inviting Jiyeon over for dinner, aside from the fact that you’re running out of some items as well. You sincerely hope she doesn’t see this gesture as an attempt to get in her pants, because it really isn’t; you just want to show off your cooking (read: “pasta boiling and cheese grating”) skills to Jiyeon.
Once you get there, you pull out your phone and start getting one item after the other from different aisles of the supermarket. It doesn't take too long to get everything since you’ve categorized the items into the aisles that they’re in. You stop near the meat and fish section and look at your list again to make sure you’re not forgetting anything: dried macaroni and fettucine noodles, unsweetened milk, zero-sugar soda, smoked paprika powder, instant noodles, bok choys, carrots, boneless chicken thighs, mozzare—someone’s tapping your shoulder from behind; “can I help you?”, you say as you turn around to see who it is.
You see that it’s Jiyeon who was trying to get your attention. “Hiiiiiii”, she says excitedly, visibly feeling much better than when you last saw her. You tuck a stray strand of hair on her face behind her ear, “hi, sweetie. What are you doing here?”. She tickles your waist with both hands, “you stole my line, oppaaaa”. “Ahahaha okay, okay, you win—how did you know I’m tickly there?”, you hold Jiyeon by the wrists to stop her from tickling you. “I didn’t, I was just guessing. Glad to know you’re tickly there, though”, she tries freeing her wrists from your hands, so you let her go with no resistance. “No, but seriously, what are you doing here?”, you ask again. She points to her basket that she left near the soap rack, “I am getting some soap, shampoo, and skincare stuff”.
Jiyeon moves in front of you and looks at your trolley; “quite the stuff you have here, oppa”, she comments as she picks up a bag of macaroni from it, “inviting someone over for a meal?”. You’ve been caught for the second time in 3 weeks, all thanks to how sharp of a perception Jiyeon has; “I, um, was actually planning on inviting you over for dinner one day”, you say, scratching the back of your head and feeling embarrassed. “Awww, so sweet”, she puts the bag of macaroni down and continues, “what are we having tonight?”.  “I-I’ve been obsessed with mac and cheese, and I wanted to make some for you, as you can tell by the milk and macaroni and mozzarella—oh, I also have some zero-sugar soda for you”, you show her said items you have in your trolley. She nods in approval when she sees the items you’re showing her, “great timing, seriously. I’ve been craving mac and cheese myself. With the way we think alike, we must be meant for each other, oppa”. You turn your head to the right to hide your blush, and you see the assortment of meat in front of you; “oh, hey, I was going to get this”, you pick up a pack of thinly sliced beef before putting it into your trolley, “500 grams a pack, huh? Sounds good”.
You head to the cashier with Jiyeon and pay for your stuff and hers. “I see that you didn’t buy alcohol. Do you not drink, oppa?”, she says. You furrow your eyebrows and shake your head, “I hate the idea of being drunk and possibly not having control of my actions—like what if I did something criminal while being drunk? That would be disastrous for everyone. I know people say ‘well, you can drink responsibly’ but not drinking to begin with is my way of being responsible”, you explain to her. She nods in agreement, “that’s a good approach to it, I think. Come on, let’s get out of here”. You chuckle as the splitting doors of the supermarket close behind you, “and go where, my cute ballerina?”. The realization stops Jiyeon in her tracks—where can you two go together after an impromptu meeting? It’s not lunch time yet, either. Thankfully for Jiyeon, she thinks fast and can come up with plans in an instant; “can I come over, oppa? I would love it if I could chill there until class starts”. “So, I guess we’ll go to your place first to get some stuff? That way you can go to your class from my apartment; it’s closer to campus than yours anyway”, you complete her idea with your own.
You put your stuff in the trunk and start driving to Jiyeon’s apartment. She told you to not come up with her so you wait in your car on the side of the street until she comes out. You scroll through social media for what feels like a few minutes, and that’s when she opens the passenger door and jumps back in. You notice that she only has a small laptop bag, so you make a comment referring to it, “not too busy of a day, I see”. “Mm-hmm”, she says, “two classes, 3 credits each. There’s a reason I’ve been practicing on Wednesdays, you see. Start driving, oppa; I want to chill in your apartment right meow”.
-
“Welcome to my apartment. Please make yourself at home”, you say as you open the door for her. She walks straight in after taking off her shoes but not her socks; “oi, oi, not so fast”, you call out to her, “socks off, please—you can wear these sandals”. She timidly jogs back to where you are and grabs the sandals from your hands, “sorry, I got too excited”. “Excited for what? There are barely things here”, you ask her. She pouts cutely and points at the sofa in front of the TV, “that thing looks soooooo soft, oppa. Can I lie down on it, pleaaaaase?”. You pet her head softly to encourage her, “go on, dear. I’ll get you a blanket”. “Yay!”, she enthusiastically runs to the sofa and lies down on it, “my God, this is sooo comfortable”. You return to her with a spare blanket and cover her with it, “it gets pretty cold in this apartment, so I’ll cover you with this so that you don’t freeze—I imagine a frozen ballerina wouldn’t be able to perform well on stage”. She accepts your gesture with a smile, and only now do you realize how sweet Jiyeon’s smile is; “I will do everything I can to protect that smile, sweetie”, you promise to yourself.
You take a seat on the armchair next to the sofa and pull out your phone, “what time is your class? Would you like to eat something now?”. She sighs as she turns to lie on her side, “1 pm, oppa. I would love to eat something but I’m also sleepy so please let me sleep here for a few hours and wake me up at 12:15”. She closes her eyes immediately after saying that, so you make your way to your bedroom and chill there until 12:15. You decide to get some extra sleep after setting an alarm at 12:10 and 12:15 to make sure Jiyeon won’t be late to her class.
In your sleep, you feel like a weight has been put on top of your body thus making it hard for you to breathe. As an attempt to keep your goofy ass alive, your brain shakes you awake. “Huh?”, you mumble softly with only half of your consciousness in your body. “Oh, it’s Jiyeon”, your brain says as it closes your eyes to go back to sleep—“WAIT, IT’S JIYEON!”, the discovery sends shock to your body. You don’t want to disturb her peace, though, so you calm your breathing and stay still. You dare wrap your arms around her body, and she lets out a soft hum in response; “I hope she won’t kick me in the balls when she wakes up”, you quietly pray to whatever heavenly being is looking down on the both of you.
You slowly unwrap your arm and grab your phone to look at the time; 12:02, it says. As soon as you return your arm to its previous position, Jiyeon wakes up from her slumber and looks at you with heavy eyes. “Hi, darling”, you greet the girl on top of you. “Why did you leave me, oppa?”, she rests her head on your chest again. “I’m sorry, sweetie. I just wanted to lie on the bed until 12:15”, you pet her head to apologize. She looks at you and pinches your cheek playfully, “well, you should’ve carried me to bed with you. It was cold on the sofa, you know?”. A pang of guilt strikes you—your mom would kill you 3 times over for leaving a girl in the cold like that; “I’m so sorry, dear, but I wouldn’t do such thing without your consent”. “It’s okay, I trust you even in my sleep”, she says before sighing, “what time is this?”. You look at your phone one more time, “um, 12:03—no, 12:04”.
She lifts her torso off your body and pulls you into a sitting position with her still on your lap, “please keep me warm, oppa”. You take her hand and notice that she is indeed cold, so you hug her tighter to keep her warm. “Oppa”, she pokes you in the cheek, “you’re not angry that I suddenly jumped on your body like that, are you? Please don’t be angry, I’m sorry”. “No, I’m not angry at all”, you clarify, “I should be the one apologizing for leaving you in the cold”. She pulls away from the hug and gives you a fleeting kiss, “promise me that you won’t leave me again, ever”. You take her pinky in yours, “I promise, sweetie”.
-
“Oppa, do you not have classes today?”, she says as she puts on her shoes. “I don’t but I’m meeting some of Professor’s Kim students at 5 pm. One of them texted me yesterday asking me to help them with a project”, you walk to the door where she is, “do you want to walk, or do you want me to drive you there?”. “5 pm is still a few hours away so you should just stay here, I’ll walk”, she waves at you, “I’ll see you for tonight’s practice?”. You nod and she walks out of the door right away. You chase her and grab her wrist, “you forgot something”. She turns to you in confusion, “what?”. “This”, you lean forward and kiss her, “you forgot my kiss”. “Oh my God, I hate you so much”, she blushes and starts running away, “I’ll see you later!”.
-
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The little meeting with Professor’s Kim students is done, which leaves you one last thing to do tonight: watch Jiyeon’s last practice. “Same place as yesterday, dear”, you send a text to her, and she sends you a thumbs-up emoji as a reply. You continue scrolling through social media until you hear the door swing open. Jiyeon is wearing a black tank top and grey training pants, and you can’t help but drop your jaw; “respectfully, you look so attractive right now”, you comment. She smirks, “that was the plan, glad it works”. Your eyes widen in shock, “pardon?”. “You didn’t hear anything”, she says, “let’s practice, shall we?”. She hands you her phone and tells you to play whatever song because “being predictable is boring” (her words, not yours) so you do as she asks and pick a random song.
It takes her one second to recognize the song and start her routine. It starts with a clap of hands, which makes you jump in your seat a little due to the suddenness. Her moves, combined with how she’s dressed, show you all the details of her curves, but you’re trying to not have a boner right now. As you keep watching, however, you start getting more emotional than horny—you managed to not cry during the previous sessions but it’s very hard not to today for some reason. You lock in and pay attention with every cell of your brain, until you see her make a specific move with her hand and tears instantly drop onto your cheeks like the first time you watched her—unlike last time, however, you’re not shy to cry in front of her. You decide to savor the emotions and cry your heart out until you have no tears left. “My God, I’m such a loser”, you say to yourself.
You’re too busy crying that you don’t notice that the song has ended. “Crying again, oppa?”, she approaches you to check on you. “Ye-yeah, sorry”, you wipe your tears so that you can see her clearly. She pulls you to your feet and hugs you, “I was starting to think that you didn’t like me enough to cry”, she says. You take a deep breath to compose yourself, “you’re out of your mind; there’s no way I can stop liking you”. You feel her pat your back to help you calm yourself, “I like you too, oppa”.
The tears finally stop flowing after a few seconds, so you ask her to let go of the hug. You sit your ass back down while she walks to her stuff. “Here, oppa: your VVIP ticket”, she hands you a ticket with your name and seat number on it, “don’t lose this, please. I’ll never talk to you again if you do”. You sniffle before talking back, “thank you, sweetie. I’ll make sure I arrive early”. She walks away from you and tells you to play another song, so you close your eyes and pick randomly again. “Aaaaah, that’s the same song, oppa. Play a different one without closing your eyes this time”, she says with a pout. “Oh, sorry”, you scroll quickly to the bottom of the playlist and choose whatever. “There we go; now watch me”, she says as she starts another routine.
-
Jiyeon immediately collapses on the floor after that last routine. Sensing that something is wrong, you run to her and see that her eyes are closed but her mouth is open. “Baby, baby? Are you okay? Say something, love—holy shit, what is happening right now?”, pet names fly out of your lips as you panic. You carry her in your arms and run out of the classroom to find help. As you do, you hear her mumble something weakly; “oppa, oppa”. You start running faster after hearing a sign of life from Jiyeon; “hold on, baby; I’m getting some help for you”. You then hear a giggle from her, “oppa, I’m okay. I was just messing with you”. You drop to your knees right away, “oh my fucking—that wasn’t funny, you know? I thought you passed out from exhaustion or something”. She frees herself from your arms and pecks you on the cheek, “I mean I was exhausted, but I’m fine. I’m glad that you were quick to take action, who knows when I might need that”. You get on your feet and pull her up after, “you’re lucky I exercise often, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to carry you and run that fast at the same time like that”. She giggles, “yeah I had a sneak peek at how fit you are thanks to that jersey you wore at the supermarket—very attractive, I must say”.
“Fuck, that was scary—so what now?”, you ask her with heavy pants. “Let’s get our stuff and get out of here. I want to go home and get as much rest as I can”, she says. “Sure, I’ll wait for you in the car”, you walk in the other direction to get to the parking lot.
You get a bottle of water from the trunk and finish it right away to cope with the exhaustion and panic caused by Jiyeon’s little act. “That’s the fastest I’ve seen someone drink out of a bottle”, Jiyeon remarks as she approaches you, “I’m sorry, oppa. I didn’t mean to make you panic like that”. You wave her off, “it’s okay, sweetie. I’m glad that you’re okay because I would’ve lost my shit otherwise. Let’s get you home now, alright?”. You get in the car followed by Jiyeon and start driving to take her home.
-
“Oppa, we probably won’t see each other until after the competition is finished”, she says when you two are standing outside her building. You pet her head, “it’s okay, sweetie. You know where I sit so look at me if you can, okay?”. She gets on her tippy toes, and the height difference makes you laugh. “Aaaaaah, kiss me alreadyyyyyy”, she complains cutely. You grab her chin and pull her closer to you before kissing her passionately. “I love you, baby. See you on Saturday, okay?”. She seems to be satisfied with the kiss, as seen by how she’s blushing, “I love you too, oppa. See you on Saturday”.
-
Saturday has finally come and there’s only one thing in your mind right now: watch Jiyeon perform at the competition. You grab your phone as soon as you wake up and text her right away.
[You | 08:03]
Good luck, baby
I’m rooting for you
If it wasn’t obvious already
<3
She replies to your messages as soon as you send them.
[Ji Seoyeon❤️| 08:03]
I’m nervous, oppa
Pray for your baby girl
Love you too
You smack your forehead at the realization that you forgot to say “I love you” but you know—or hope, rather—that she knows that already. You jump off the bed and get ready to get a shower, and that’s when you hear another notification.
[Ji Seoyeon❤️| 08:03]
You owe me dinner btw
[You | 08:03]
I know
I hope you like mac and cheese
-
You have about 10 hours to kill before you need to leave to watch Jiyeon, so you decide to clean your apartment first. You make sure to that everything is spotless because you plan on inviting Jiyeon over for dinner tonight, and should everything go smoothly, formally confess your love to her, in case it hasn’t been made clear multiple times.
After cleaning everything, you decide to hop on your laptop and catch up with the outside world. Email from Professor Kim about your payment as TA; answered, email from a sophomore apologizing for missing your class; answered, email from Professor Min thanking you for helping her students; answered. You scroll through your inbox and see that none is left unanswered, so you decide to play some video games—you want to rank up on TFT but haven’t got the time to play that much recently.
You eventually got sick of playing after 3 games, so you decide to get some nap since you have plenty of time left in the day. In your sleep, you’re shown a dream where Jiyeon is running to you with a trophy in hand before jumping into your arms for a hug. “Oppa, we did it! We won!”, she says, and you can’t help but bawl your eyes out—such pleasant dream, isn’t it? You hope that it’s a good sign for what’s coming today.
-
You arrive at the venue at 18:06 and head straight in. A staff greets you at the entrance of the hall and asks you to show him your ticket. You do as he asks and he then escorts you to your seat—“must be VVIP treatment”, you think as you’re led to your seat. You take a seat that he points at and pull out your phone; less than an hour left until the show starts, your phone tells you. Your phone also tells you that you have some incoming texts from Jiyeon.
[Ji Seoyeon❤️| 18:10]
I see a pretty boy in a suit sitting in the front row
He’s soooo cuteeeee
Very tall too, my God
No one else has arrived yet so you know that she’s referring to you, but you can’t see her anywhere so you give up trying to spot her instantly. You smile at your phone while reading her texts and she follows up with some more.
[Ji Seoyeon❤️| 18:10]
Look at him, he’s smiling!!!!
Omg I love him so damn much <3 <3 <3
His bae is a lucky girl for sure
You cover your mouth with a hand to muffle an excited squeal. You finally manage to form some replies of your own after calming yourself down.
[You | 18:11]
I can’t with you
You’re driving me insane
[Ji Seoyeon❤️| 18:11]
Oh, it’s you!!!!
Thank you for coming!!!! <3
You shake your head and shove your phone back in your pocket because one more exchange will surely send your heart to overdrive. You need to lock in soon so that you can wholeheartedly and wholebrainedly—that’s not a word, is it—pay attention to her performance later.
-
15 minutes before the performances start and the venue is now packed with people. You hear from the MC that Jiyeon will be the last one performing; “favorites go last all the time”, you say to yourself. Before you forget, you pull out a handkerchief from your suit jacket and set it on your lap because it’s guaranteed that you’re going to weep while watching her.
One by one contestant performs and now it’s Jiyeon’s turn to take the stage and make everyone weep (yes, you are that confident of her skills). Your jaw drops the instant she walks out; she’s wearing a white tutu and matching pointe shoes—a literal embodiment of a swan. She makes eye contact with you for a second before turning her gaze to the rest of the crowd, and that’s when the cheering erupts; “oh, she’s famous, huh?”, you hear your brain say. She then moves to the side and waits until the song starts; “I’m so fucking cooked”, you think to yourself.
The truth cannot be any further right now, as you feel tears gather in your eyes as soon as she starts her routine. She’s barely making expressions, but you really feel the emotions that she’s conveying through every small movement. As you keep paying attention, you’re promptly reminded of how hard she’s worked for these sorts of moments, not only in the past few weeks, but also in her entire life. Combine that with the way she’s moving on stage, you can’t help but open the dam and let the tears flow. She’s not making eye contact with you because she wants to stay concentrated, and that’s helpful for you because you’re not presentable at all right now.
You wish you weren’t such a crybaby because you otherwise would be able to enjoy her performance, but you’re also glad that you’re able to feel these emotions and savor every second of it. You wipe your eyes with your handkerchief before looking back at her and murmuring to yourself, “I’m so proud of you, my little swan. Thank you for being in my life and thank you for showing me such gracefulness that very few can see with their own eyes”. You ball up your fists to cheer for her, but your brain manages to bridle your body in time before you can start shouting, thus saving you from embarrassment; “this ain’t basketball, you fucking idiot”, it yells at you.
Her performance ends with her getting on her knees while bending back, and the crowd instantly erupts behind you. You feel a surge of emotions in your heart, and you decide to let all the tears go into the handkerchief; “what is this feeling and who am I to be so lucky?”, you say. You feel the elderly man next to you put a hand on your shoulder and pat you on the back, “I wondered the same thing when I was your age, son, and I still don’t have an answer to this day”. You sniffle before saying anything back, “I can’t describe what I’m feeling right now, sir”. He pulls you to him and makes you rest your head on his shoulder, “There’s no need for that, son. Just enjoy it as much as you can, for we are a lucky bunch”. You’ve never heard such wisdom from someone before, so you ask him who he is. “I’m no one important, boy—definitely not as important as that girl on stage to you”, he says. “I love her, sir”, you reveal to him. He rubs you on the back with his palm several times as he laughs, “I know, son. I know”.
You look up and see that Jiyeon is looking back at you, so you do your best to give her the sincerest smile you’ve ever shown to anyone; “I’m so proud of you”, you mouth to her. She returns your smile twice as splendidly before heading backstage. The MC comes back out and announces that we’ll be taking a 10-minute break before announcing the winners, so you take this opportunity to leave your seat and head to the bathroom to freshen up after weeping your heart out.
You were a bit late to return and see that all the contestants are now standing next to each other on stage, so you rush to your seat and tune back in. “We will now be announcing the 3rd place, 2nd place, and the 1st place winners”, the MC says. You close your eyes and pray to whatever sacred being that might be listening to you right now. “Coming in the third place”, she pauses, “Miss Noh Yunah!”. You sigh in relief, “oh God, okay, top 2, baby. Let’s go”. The MC suggests an idea to announce the 2nd and 1st place; “would the attendants prefer to hear the 1st place winner before the 2nd?”, she says, and the crowd seems to agree with that idea.
“Right, so here’s what we’re going to do, Miss Ji Seoyeon and Miss Choi Jihyun: I’m going to say the name of the first-place winner and whoever doesn’t hear her name is the second-place winner”, she explains, and the two girls nod in acknowledgment. “The winner of the competition is”, she fucking pauses again, “Miss”—for the love of God, do it already—“Ji Seoyeon!”. You open your eyes and see that Jiyeon has dropped onto her knees while crying, and you have no choice but to cry again with her. “Congratulations, son”, the elderly man says as he shakes your hand, “treat the miss to dinner after this, okay?”. Your brain can’t come up with words to say, so you just nod while shaking his hand emotionally.
-
The contestants went backstage a few minutes ago, and some people in the crowd are now talking among themselves while some others opt to leave. You feel your phone vibrate in your pocket, so you pull it out and see that Jiyeon has sent you some texts.
[Ji Seoyeon❤️| 20:24]
Oppa
I’m glad I could win it for you
Can I come over after this?
Pretty please?
[Ji Seoyeon❤️| 20:24]
Congratulations, love
I’m glad I got to watch you perform
You slayed btw
I’ll wait for you in the car, bby
You turn to the man next to you and bid your farewell, “thank you so much for tonight, sir. I will be taking my leave now”. “Thank you to you as well, son. May I offer you some advice?”, he says, and you nod in response, “try not to obscure your feelings; embrace them, savor them, share them with those you love. Believe me when I say that you won’t regret it—emotions are the colors of life, you see”. In your heart, you envy and yearn for such wisdom, but you realize that it takes a lifetime to be that wise. “Thank you, sir. I will keep that in mind. Have a good night”.
You stand up from your seat and start making your way to the parking lot after talking to the man. When you get to the parking lot, you see that Jiyeon is already waiting for you. She drops her stuff on the ground and hugs you; “oppa, I love you. I love you so fucking much, oppa”, she confesses in case it wasn’t clear already. You take the man’s advice to heart and embrace the emotions you’re feeling right now, “I love you so much as well, baby. I’m so proud of you”. She presser her head against your chest and conveys her request, “take me to your place, oppa. I want to spend the night in your embrace. Let’s leave now, oppa—please, I’m begging you”. You peck her forehead and pull away from the hug, “alright, sweetie. Let’s go now”.
-
You enter your apartment with Jiyeon and swap your shoes for the indoor sandals. She pulls your hand, forcing you to turn to her direction before kissing you. Jiyeon goes further and fight your tongue with hers. You find her passion to be overwhelming, so you break the kiss to take a breather. “Oppa, why did you pull away? You didn’t like it?”, she asks. “I did like it, but I first need to know how far we’re going tonight”, you tell her. You can’t tell what the smile on her face means when she says that you two are going all the way.
“Can I take you to the bedroom?”, you ask her, and she nods to your question. You carry her bridal style like that time she “passed out” after practice. You set her down on the bed and that’s when she makes another confession; “this is my first time, oppa”, she tells you. “Are you sure that you want to give your first to me?”, you ask her. “Only if you promise to never leave me again”, she says. You tell her your promise and start kissing her lustfully, as it’s now your tongue that’s fighting hers. She takes your hand and guides it to her crotch; thus, you feel her wetness through her jogger pants. You pull away from the kiss once more and ask her, “on a scale of 1 to 10, how ready do you think you are?”. “24”, she says, “now please take care of me”. You’re not sure why she picks such particular number, but you roll with it anyway.
You grab the waistband of her pants and pull down after getting her consent, and you’re met with her bare pussy. “No panties, hm? No wonder I could feel how wet you were through your pants”, you ask her. She shrugs, “I figured it would be faster this way, and it is. Continue, please”. You then move your hands to the hem of her white sleeveless T-shirt and roll it over her head, exposing her covered tits to the bedroom air. “It would be even faster if you weren’t wearing bras as well”, you tease her. She pouts cutely, “and what if someone saw? Do you really want your girl to run around while being exposed like that?”.
You pull her into a hug and unclasp her bras before letting go, and you’re shown her perfectly perky bare tits. “They’re yours, oppa”, she says as she guides your hands to her tits. You start fondling her tits in your hands and it causes her to start moaning softly. Seeing that she’s enjoying it, you latch your mouth onto one of them and start sucking without letting up the stimulation on the other one. “Oppa, you like them—AHHHH, OPPA”, she screams when you not-so-lightly tug her nipple. “Can’t let the other one go forgotten”, you say as you move your mouth to the other breast. She holds the back of your head with both hands and press your head against her tits; “that’s-that’s—ahh, ngh”, her words are cut short by a moan.
She finally pushes your head away from her tits after letting you play with them for a few minutes. “You-you’re not fair, oppa”, she says, panting, “why aren’t you naked like me?”. You look down on yourself and see that you still have all your clothes on. “Apologies, my love. I got carried away”, you get off the bed and take your sweet time to take one item off at a time, unveiling your muscular body little by little for the girl in your bed. You’re finally done taking everything off but the boxers, “would you like to do the honors, princess?”, you ask Jiyeon. “Uh, umm, I-I think you should take them off yourself”, the antsy girl says before biting her lips. You do as she says and take off your boxers in one smooth motion, and Jiyeon immediately turns her gaze to look at the big, erect parcel between your legs. She looks away to get your cock out of her sight and asks you to make another promise, “pro-promise me you won’t hurt me, oppa”. You rub the back of her hand to soothe her, “I promise, love. We will do this on your pace, okay? Make yourself comfortable, please”.
She lies flat on her back and opens her arms, “come here, oppa”. You enter her warm embrace and pepper her face with pecks. “Aaaaah, oppa, stoooop”, she tries to halt your barrage of pecks. You hover your face above hers and offer her some sweet words, “I love you, baby. My baby. My white swan”. She blushes as she puts her hands on your cheeks, “I love you too, oppa. I love you with my life”. “Baby, I want to tell you something”, you make a confession of your own, “I have never done this before—I didn’t speak accordingly because I wanted to help you not be nervous. I apologize for pretending and I also apologize should my naïveté shows”. “Awww”, she coos, “we’re each other’s first, aren’t we? That makes this even more special, oppa”.
Since the confessions are now out of the way, you dive into another kiss—a kiss so heavenly and heartfelt to tell Jiyeon how much you love her. She smiles warmly after pulling away and breaking the kiss, “I love you, oppa, and I know you love me too. Now please take care of me”. You move a strand of hair from her face, “I’m so sorry but I don’t have a condom, love; I’m a virgin just like you”. She runs her thumb back and forth on your cheek, “We won’t need that;you’re my only one, oppa—my first and my last. Just promise me that you’ll be gentle; make me yours and I’ll stay by your side until the end of time”. You feel a stray tear on your cheek and wipe it right away, “I’m sorry, cutie. Your words are just so sweet—you are so sweet”. She smiles gently hearing your words, “we’re about to find out what having sex with the person you truly love is like, oppa. I’m excited but also nervous to give you my first”.
You peck her forehead before straightening your back to get ready for the action. “Do you consent, precious?”, you ask as you line up your cock with her untouched entrance. “I do” is response, nice and concise. You start moving forward into her pussy, and as soon as your cock is 1/3 of the way in, Jiyeon screams from the top of her lungs. “Oppa, oppa—ngh, fu—hold me, please—hug me, oppa”, she says to you with troubled breathing. You lay on top of Jiyeon and hug her tightly, “I’m here, baby; I’m here for you. I’ll stop moving so let’s relax a bit, okay?”.
After taking a few seconds to catch her breath, she signals to you to start moving again. You move your pelvis forward until you feel the entirety of your cock lodged in her pussy, as you take her virginity and give her yours in return. “Ngh, ngh—op-oppa, you’re so big—oh my God, you’re tearing me in half”, she says. You peck her temple as you start pumping her, “you’re so tight, baby; you’re literally squeezing me”. She yelps when your cock hits her deepest end, “I th-ink that’s my cervix, oppa—ahh, fuck—how are you so fucking deep, oppa?”. You’d be lying if you said her words didn’t inflate your ego, but you just want to keep fucking her right now and this position doesn’t really allow that. Jiyeon panics when you try to pull away from the hug; “no, no, no—oh, mmh—keep me in your arms, oppa. I’m begging you—fuck—plea-please”, she says.
You latch your mouth onto her neck and start sucking and nibbling as you maintain the pace and depth of your thrusts, earning moans from Jiyeon that sound like a melody from the heavens. “Op-pa—aah, hng—some-something is coming. I-I can feel it”, she says after taking a lot (like, a lot) of pumps from you. You unlatch your mouth for a second so that you can answer her; “yes, baby. I feel it too, I think”.
“AH, OPPA, I’M-I’M GOING TO EXPLODE!”, she shrieks with all her might as her pussy puts you in such a chokehold (or cockhold, rather) that it’s almost painful to you. You remove your mouth from her neck and see that Jiyeon’s entire body is shaking and trembling as she keeps screaming her lungs out. She finally stops screaming after her high has subsided; “hah, hah—wha-what was that? I-I felt like I was on cloud nine and then I’m back in your arms”, she says, her breaths mixed with pants. You chuckle at her description of what just happened, “is it better to be on cloud nine or in my arms?”. She pulls you down for a kiss before giving you an answer, “I like being in my boyfriend’s arm much, much better”. “Boyfriend, hm?”, you smile at her, “I love the way you say that; it makes me feel loved, you know”. “That is because I truly love you, oppa, and nothing can sway me from loving you”, she says.
“Jiyeon, my baby”, you say to her, “I’m sorry, but can we continue? I think I’m pretty close as well”. “We can, oppa, but first”, she holds your head and looks at you in the eyes, “I want you to start calling me Seoyeon from now on; it’s not like you’ll mistake me for Yoon Seoyeon-sunbaenim, is it?”. “No, there’s no way I’ll ever mistake you for Yoon Seoyeon. My heart is yours, not Yoon Seoyeon’s”, you say before resuming your rhythmic thrusting. Jiyeon—or Seoyeon, rather—starts moaning again and it serves as fuel for you to keep going and chase your own orgasm.
“Seoyeon, my swan—fuck, so tight—do you want me to pull out when I cum?”, you ask her. “If you pull out, I will cut your penis off and feed it to a cat”, Seoyeon threatens you. “Oh, fuck, please don’t. We wouldn’t be able to do this again if you did”, you say, intimidated by her words. “Good, now don’t—OH MY GOD, THAT IS SO FUCKING HOT”, her words are cut off by your cock’s abrupt explosion and the sudden flood of semen in her pussy. “My God, I just came in her pussy”, you think to yourself as you pant from the high that your orgasm is giving you. “Oppa­-oppa, was that—whoa, fuck—was that your orgasm?”, Seoyeon wonders. In your exhausted and high state, you just nod to her question; “you gave me your first ever orgasm, oppa? You’ve never watched porn and had an orgasm before, have you? Please say no”, Seoyeon says. You shake your head, “I have—hah, fuck—I have never watched porn ever in my life. What the fuck kind of question is that? Sure-surely you don’t think that low of me—oh my goodness, I’m tired”. “Sorry, please don’t be mad”, she rubs your cheek, “it was a genuine question, oppa. I’m-I’m glad that you’ve never watched porn—”. You cut her off by placing a finger on her lips, “please, let’s not talk about that right now”.
You pull away from her embrace and straighten your back to look at your work; “wait, there’s supposed to be blood, isn’t there?”, you ask yourself as you look at your cock and her leaking pussy. “Oppa, I know what you’re thinking”, Seoyeon says with a tiny voice, “you must be wondering about the lack of blood considering that it’s my first time”. You turn your gaze to her without saying anything, which makes Seoyeon nervous; “I-I can explain, oppa, but I need you to trust me because I am not lying at all”, she says. You take a moment to calm your pants before talking back, “of course, darling. Fire away”. “Where do I start—ah, fuck it, I’ll just tell you the end bit”, she says, “I lost my hymen in an accident, oppa. Please, please believe me when I say that you’re my first, because you really are”.
You stay quiet and take a second to process the news that she just delivered, and that’s when she starts shedding tears. “You-you don’t believe me, do you? You’re disappointed because it’s your first, aren’t you? It-It’s okay if you don’t believe me and want to leave me, oppa; heaven knows I’m being honest”, she says as tears are freely flowing out of her eyes. The instant surge of guilt in your heart leads you to jump and take her into your arms again. “I believe you, my love—I really do. I just wanted some time to process your words; I’m sorry for not saying anything right away”, you say right to her ear. Her crying makes it hard for her to speak but she pushes through anyway, “please, please don’t leave me, oppa. I-I don’t know what I would do with-out you. Please, oppa, I’m begging you to stay with me”. You hug her tighter and give her your promise, “I will not leave you, baby; not now, not tomorrow, not next week, never. I need you as much as you need me, precious. Trust me, please. Let’s calm down, okay? I’m here for you, honey”.
-
It took a while for Seoyeon to finally calm down and stop crying. It was really painful for you to see Seoyeon cry from such a close distance, but it didn’t stop you from giving her the assurance and comfort that she needed. “Baby”, you call out to Seoyeon after noticing that her sobs have died down, “feeling better?”. She hums in response, “feeling hungry, too—wait, you promised me you’d make mac and cheese for me. Can we have mac and cheese now, oppa? Pleaaaaaase?”. “There she is, back to who she really is”, you say in your head. “We can, baby. Let’s get dressed first and then I’ll make some for us, okay?”, you pull her off the bed and onto her feet before heading to the wardrobe to get some clothes. You hand Seoyeon an old set of jersey and shorts as you’re reminded of her underwear situation, “I know you didn’t wear panties earlier but surely you brought them with you, right?”. Seoyeon chuckles in response, “of course I did, oppa; it’s in my bag. I’m not that naughty, you know?”. “Right”, you scratch the back of your head in awkwardness, “I’ll, uh, start cooking now”.
You head to the fridge and take all the ingredients necessary: milk, cheese, sausage, and broc—wait, not broccoli; mac and cheese isn’t supposed to be healthy. You take the scale out of the cupboard and weigh 100 grams of macaroni (taken from the cupboard as well), 50 grams of grated cheddar, and 50 grams of cubed mozzarella. You hear Seoyeon’s sandals approaching, so you call out to her, “baby, there’s zero-sugar soda in the fridge for you”. “I’ll save that for later, oppa. I’ll just get some water right now”, she says as she walks to the dispenser and refills her bottle. “Can I help with anything?”, she asks after taking a gulp of water. You point to the milk and ask her to pour out exactly 250 ml into a measuring cup. As Seoyeon does that, you pour some water into a pot and wait for it to boil.
“Love, go have a seat. I’ll take care of this”, you tell Seoyeon who’s still hovering near the stove area. “Promise me you won’t burn this place down”, she jumps and pecks you on the cheek before sitting at the table. “You’re making me make a lot of promises today, love”, you tease her. “Aaaaaah, but they’re for our own good, oppaaaaa”, she whines and crosses her arms, “I hate you so much, hmph”. Seeing that you’re not responding to her stunt, Seoyeon walks up to you from behind and tickles you. “Baby, I’m cooking—ahahaha, okay, okay; you win, I’m sorry. Now please get back to your seat”. Seoyeon does as you ask and sits down at the table again.
The water is now boiling, so you throw the macaroni into it and start a timer on your phone for 8 minutes. Since you have some time to kill, you decide to kiss Seoyeon and do more skinship with her and talk about some stuff until the timer runs out. Before you know it (because you’re so absorbed in the moment), you hear your phone ring, and you rush to turn the timer off and drain the macaroni.
You throw a tablespoon of butter into the pot and let it melt before adding in a tablespoon of flour. You then quickly but gradually add milk into the mix before it sticks to the pot. You turn your gaze to the counter and notice that the cheese is missing. “Seoyeon, darling, do you know where the cheese is?”, you ask your swan. “Oh, I brought it with me to the table, sorry. Here, oppa”, she hands you the two cups of cheese and you throw them into the pot and stir rapidly until it’s nice and smooth. “Here go the mac and sausage”, you announce to yourself, earning a chuckle from Seoyeon. Once everything is mixed together, you turn off the stove and mix in a tablespoon of salt, pepper, smoked paprika, and chili powder. You then take two bowls and split the mac and cheese into two as equally as you can and bring it to the table.
“This looks good, oppa”, Seoyeon says as she takes a spoonful of mac and cheese and shoves it into her mouth, “oooh, very nice. Not as salty as when I made it myself that one time”. You follow her and put a spoonful into your mouth. The taste makes you let out a satisfied moan, and it triggers a comment from Seoyeon, “we’re eating, oppa, not having sex—do you want to have sex again, by any chance?”. As tempting as it sounds, you choose to ignore her comment for now, “this is nice, no? I love it”. You miss a glare that Seoyeon sends you because you’re too busy eating, but that’s a problem for later.
-
“Thank you for the meal, oppa. Can I borrow a toothbrush now?”, Seoyeon says. You tell her that you keep spare toothbrushes in the bathroom cabinet and that she can get one from there. She heads to the bathroom to brush her teeth while you wash the dishes.
As soon as you’re done, you hear Seoyeon call out to you from the bathroom, so you knock on the door, and she opens it for you. “What is it, baby?”, you ask her. She says nothing and shoves you backwards until you’re seated on the toilet. “Really, oppa? I offered you to do round 2 and you just ignored me? Is that how we will do things from now on, oppa?”, Seoyeon interrogates you and you can’t help but feel like a criminal. A short “I’m sorry” is all you can come up with, and Seoyeon is visibly not satisfied with your apology. “Take off your shorts and boxers, now”, she says. You never thought a girl so cute could be so intimidating, but here you are. You do as she commands and take them off, revealing your cock to her for the second time tonight.
“Please don’t ignore me like that again, oppa; it makes me sad, you know”, she says as she gets on her knees and holds your cock in one hand. “Can you get hard again, please? I want to make you orgasm again”, she strokes your cock with both hands to compensate with the girth. “Baby, what are you planning to do?”, you say with a sigh at the end. “This”, she says as she takes you in her mouth, her jaws are as wide open as they can be. You thought that this sight couldn’t get better until Seoyeon looks at you in the eyes as your cock is in her mouth. “Seoyeon-ah, you’re so good”, you forgot to say the pet name so she bites your cock slightly to express her dissatisfaction. “Oh, fuck, fuck. I’m so sorry, love. Please don’t kill me”, you say.
She gives you a wink and starts bobbing her head up and down your shaft, making you throw your head back and moan in bliss. She gets impatient as she goes down too deep and chokes on your cock. The little accident doesn’t seem to deter her, though, as she keeps going up and down a little bit more carefully this time. “You’re doing so good, dear—my fucking God, that’s so nice”, you praise her efforts, and she gives you a thumbs-up in return.
“Can I ask you to go faster, baby?”, you ask Seoyeon, whose mouth is full of your cock. She gives you a subtle nod and starts moving faster and gagging occasionally. You hold the back of her head when she tries to pull away and start fucking her mouth—not too hard, though. You don’t want to take things too far just yet. “God, baby; your mouth feels so good—oh, I’m getting so close again”, you tell her. You feel her repeatedly tap your thighs, so you pull out of her mouth in response. “Are you okay, sweetie?”, you ask the panting girl as you pet her head. “That was too much, oppa. Let me do it at my own pace, please”, Seoyeon says as she wipes her mouth.
You agree to let her do as she pleases and sit back. Seoyeon pecks the tip for your cock—which sensation makes you gasp in surprise—and goes down on your cock again. You lean back against the backrest of the toilet and close your eyes to fully savor the sensation that her mouth is giving you. You can tell that she’s focused and determined to make you cum for the second time tonight, and you don’t miss your chance to praise her efforts. “Love, you’re so good; such a good girl, aren’t you?”, you stroke her head before letting out a groan.
“Oh, God—baby, I think I’m gonna blow again”, you warn her. At your warning, she removes you from her mouth and strokes your cock. “Give it to me again, oppa”, she says to you. You moan loudly as the second load of the night jets out of the tip of your cock. Seoyeon collects as much of it as she can with her hands; “how do you still have so much, oppa? How much do you have in there?”, she says, fascination and curiosity woven in her voice. “I think that’s all I have today”, you tell her, “thank you so much, baby. I really enjoyed that”. She dips a finger in the pool of cum in her hands and puts it in her mouth, “it tastes weird. I’m not putting this in my mouth, sorry”. You weakly point to the sink, “you don’t need to; go wash your hands, honey”.
-
You carry Seoyeon back to bed after the little bonus session in the bathroom. She’s now lying limb on top of you like that afternoon when she jumped on you. “Oppa”, she begins, “I love you. Don’t leave me ever, please”. You weave your pinky with hers and say your pledge, “I will never leave you, my beautiful swan. I love you”. “Oh, yeah, about that”, Seoyeon lifts her head off your chest, “why swan, oppa?”. You hold her chin in your hand, “the way you were moving so gracefully and elegantly, combined with how you were dressed, made me think of a white swan that’s pacing peacefully around a calm lake”. Seoyeon rests her head on your chest again, “I like that idea, oppa. Thank you”. You shake your head in disagreement, “no, love; thank you. Thank you for letting me enter your life and love you like this—I’m so grateful for us, baby”. You feel a tear drop from her cheeks and onto your T-shirt, “I’m so grateful for us as well, oppa. My world is bleak without you next to me”.
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amoneki-ramblings · 11 months ago
Note
this is a pass to do a couple things:
finish the manga!!! u can do it so u can follow all the other blogs without getting blindsided by a spoiler
do the ship ask thingy for amoneki :]
Gahh I'm trying !! I'm so busy with school and life stuff so it's hard to squeeze in time to read but I'm trying! I'm getting through volumes very slowly but hey, I'll get there ! Just. Well. There's 16 volumes so. Okay it might take a bit orz
For now I'll just be in my little fandom limbo corner I suppose orz, as for the ask thingy:
when I started shipping it if I did: Several months ago, probably a few months short of a year? It's a bit complicated, Basically I decided to rewatch the anime (because my original exposure to tg was. the anime :') ) and vaguely remembered that I really liked Amon (honestly the encounter at Kanou's Lab/Cochlea was one of the scenes I remembered the most), and after rewatching and seeing Amon and Kaneki's interactions they piqued my interest again. Then I got into the manga and. Yeah that interest turned into insanity and now i'm here
my thoughts: Well I have a 119-slide 15K+-word google slideshow for starters. But I'm taking that to my grave so I guess I gotta condense that somehow. On one hand I feel like everything needs to be said about these two to the point that there's too much to talk about but also nothing needs to be said at the same time. They parallel each other in just about every way possible, it's impossible to ignore the ways that they foil each other. They also have had irreversible effects on the others' character. Kaneki finds resolve in Amon's words ('the world is wrong'), and turns to them at pivotal moments (when he leaves Anteiku, Kaneki's own mantra is also basically a derivative of Amon's, wishing to take out the "bad/wrong" things in the world, and he basically takes them to his grave, "The world is wrong", Amon's own words, being his opening to his final dialogue in the last chapter of the original series)
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Similarily Amon is just haunted by Kaneki. Like. In general. He thinks about him constantly (even under more mundane circumstances, in the novels he gets reminded of Kaneki just by staring out a window because it reminded him of the Aogiri raid. lmao). Kaneki is basically the catalyst to his character development, and Amon is constantly bothered by his presence/existence, and even comes to recognize how they always encounter each other at important moments. Amon is so haunted by This Guy (creature) it's both a little funny but also makes me very insane. He's basically being a failure of a ghoul investigator, and it's even more ironic, given his hatred of himself for being raised by and potentially caring about a ghoul (also he's catholic, something something religious guilt), yet he seems to have a lot of faith in Kaneki, even to a faulty degree (I'd daresay it's almost to the point where he puts Kaneki on a bit of a pedestal/idolizes him to an extent. I have a whole other ramble about Just that on the self-rb'ed half of this post. Like I'm sorry but Amon definitely fell hard for this guy I'll die on this hill and I'm going to poke fun at him endlessly for it, he could've done so much better, he starts off the manga hating ghouls with a passion and his mentor's disdain for ghouls runs ten times as deep but nope now he's chasing after the dangerous somewhat unhinged (/affectionate) half kakuja guy and it's not even to fight/kill him like okay, sure.) They have affected each other in irreversible ways. They reflect each other so much even if they don't know it. They just want to sit down and have a conversation. They didn't get to. And instead They Killed Each Other (okay not really but it was very close and they absolutely could, not that they want that) ((It's also partially Kaneki's fault for losing control of himself and he feels awful for that (sidenote but any scenario with Centineki and Amon make me lose my mind))). They're also married by first-encounter marriage bite, apparently. I think we should talk about that more that's kinda?? Donato approves btw
What makes me happy about them: Everything that makes me miserable about them makes me simultaneously happy about them because I am an Angst Guy but honestly just how much they clearly respect each other. While they're not allowed to understand each other because of their circumstances they still very much Want to. They recognize that they probably share a lot of views and could really have a meaningful conversation with each other, and it really shows, even if they're fighting. Amon again has a surprising amount of trust in Kaneki (not assuming he's fighting for Aogiri when he saw him during the ward 11 battle, having faith in Kaneki as a person even if he just saw him potentially killing his superior and being presented with the possibility that maybe he was just being fooled all along, when he's nearly dying at Kaneki's own hands but says he won't die because that would make Kaneki a murderer, having faith still that he hasn't turned into one). They recognize that they're equals (well technically they're not, obviously Kaneki is much stronger objectively, being a ghoul, and a kakuja at that), but they treat each other as equals and that's what really matters. I just think it's a very neat dynamic and their roundabout way of caring about each other despite their positions makes me happy :)
What makes me sad about them: I was gonna put images but then I quickly realized that I'd basically be pasting almost all of chapter 133-134 just uh. The fact that Kaneki really lost control of himself and the parallel with him biting Amon's shoulder escalates to him cutting off his entire fucking arm, the way that Amon's first thought in regards to that is simply that Kaneki is strong, how he doesn't reprimand him for it whatsoever (also Amon's blow pretty much takes out the entire area of where Kaneki's kakuhou should be, which is a detail I find Extremely Interesting and I think it should genuinely be talked about more). This fucking line that happened literally the panel before all of that despite their mutual wishes for the other to simply Not Die:
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Amoneki divorce. Absolutely life ruining :thumbsup:
(Also just. Again Amon Please. This guy bit your shoulder (probably gave Amon rabies honestly) and almost ate one of your colleagues; when he loses control of himself for the second time you just tell him to take a break, and now he's cut off your whole damn arm and you're Still not complaining and are instead praising him by calling him strong. I just. Yeah that's Not Normal. It's kind of impressive, really /derogatory)
Oh yeah also the fight at Kanou's lab also kills me and takes over my brain constantly but I wouldn't classify that as making me sad I would classify that as making me lose my mind, laugh hysterically and start climbing up and clawing at the walls (like Centineki, actually)
things done in fanfic that annoys me: Maybe I'm just extremely picky but I feel like people tend to fumble Amon's characterization a lot. It's kind of a fine line, and Amon has a lot of conflicting feelings as is, so I get it, but I'm especially bothered when Amon is written as way too harsh. When he's first introduced he has a strong hatred for ghouls, and it's not like that just goes away, but when he's written as especially harsh or even cruel towards Kaneki, especially if it's just because for him being a ghoul it feels like it kind of defeats the point, as Kaneki is supposed to be the reason why Amon starts changing his mind. When Amon sees him for the second time he doesn't think about fighting him at all, even that early on he decides he wants to talk instead, 'cause He's Different. I don't see this kind of characterization too often but I don't really vibe with it at all when I do (Also this is definitely just a me-thing but I wish there was more angst in the tag. Which is ironic considering these guys are surprisingly normal most of the time and have so much potential to be actually Happy but uh *vague hand gestures*, hurt-comfort would also be a decent compromise)
things I look for in fanfic: I love pre-:re fics that explore the complicated-ness of their dynamic. I'm really fond of fics where they kind of dance around each other in a sense, they won't just straight up completely directly interact because that's Still a bit dangerous but they see each other in passing, maybe Kaneki watches over Amon sometimes, etc. Also you probably saw this coming a mile away but yeah religious references mean instant bonus points from me. I could go into some (too much) detail but. uh. stares down at my feet look I'm normal I swear
Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:  Saying Amonhaise is definitely cheating but I'm not really invested in any other Amon ships. I'm not particularly against any I'm just neutral. As for Kaneki, like I mentioned in a previous post, I see potential with Etoken, and it's pretty hard to go wrong with Hidekane, though neither drive me to insanity like these two do at the moment
My happily ever after for them: Let them finally officiate their marriage ghsfdljbhf
who is the big spoon/little spoon: Well that's pretty easy huh. Kaneki small spoon he is a Little Guy just let him feel comfortable and secure y'know? Kaneki is probably someone who runs very cold and Amon is very warm so it works out :) If he's super tired he very carefully (and cautiously) wraps his kagune around Amon he will now be Trapped there until Kaneki wants to get out of bed (good luck)
what is their favorite non-sexual activity: Well I would say that Kaneki loves cooking for Amon probably. He makes food at home and tries to make new sweets following recipe books. It's a bit of a mess because y'know, he's a ghoul, and at first Amon tries to hide that, unfortunately, his previous experience with cooking does Not, in fact, hide the fact that he cannot taste or smell human food, but eventually Kaneki is able to get a hang of it (with Amon's help) and it's very nice :) That's what I would say but. well. Amon is Also a Ghoul now so that doesn't really work :')
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manonamora-if · 8 months ago
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April Check-In
HI! I AM NOT DEAD I PROMISE, ANON!
Just... Ugh... It's been a stressful end of the month. I have not kept up with the weekly devlogs at all, partly because I had little to share each week, but also IRL was just too much. Head seems out of the water for now. Though I will be MIA for the rest of the week.
Onto the usual index:
Recap of last month’s progress
IF Events in the Next Month
Plan for the next month
Still long post under the break. If you want a mini version, head on over to itch.io as usual!
March Progress
From last month, what did we do:
Complete my French Comp entry. ✅ Not only did I write it all in less than two weeks (and it was full of typo that was so embarrassing), I also managed to...
Complete my SpringThing entry. ✅ Because that's the same game but in English.
Play more games! ✅Obviously having finished playing the Smoochie Jam AND all the French Comp game (quite a few good ones, voting was so hard), but also the SeedComp! and the Revival Jam (maybe?). The harvest of games for this month was bountiful!
Finish the Code Ch5 ❌ of Harcourt and edit Ch6 ✅
Finish fixing The Roads Not Taken. ❌
Things, it turns out... No, really...
Yay! Still managed to make a decent chunk of stuff.
Let's start with the bummer: still haven't fixed the borked games. Yeah... I really should sit down at some point and get down to it. BUT I did get some feedback for the Egg-game, and got extra code to fix the container issue. So... I just need to get to it.
Still haven't worked on coding on Harcourt, though I finished my part of the edits of Chapter 6. The file, full of comments, is back on his desk which... Well. Herm. MelS's computer just 💥(not like fire everywhere, but sudden forever black screen), corrupting about half of his data... which included his progress on that chapter and the endings. We've been working on getting his data back (tbh this project is the least of his worries, more important stuff is still gone), so hopefully we can get him back to editing and writing by next month (best case scenario). YEAH...
But before that happened, I managed to finish Les lettres du Docteur Jeangille for the French Comp, at the last possible minute yet again. I had the idea for month, but didn't start working on it until I was truly done with Teatime with a Vampire. It still managed to write over 15k words in 18-19th century French style (and full of typo because, only two weeks...) in essentially 1 and 1/2 week. EPISTOLARY STYLE game :D
After that was done, I got to play the Smoochie Jam and the French Comp games (it's on the IFDB), and started with the SeedComp entries (it's hidden because I'm the organiser). Lots of fun little game, some very sweet and humorous, some VERY DARK, some suuuper hot, and some that required a bit of noggins.
And halfway through the month, I sneaked a mini-parser game for the Revival Jam. I wanted to try my hand out with the old-style Speed-IF jams, that ran all the way back at the start of the century, which were just 2h long. TWO HOURS! No preparation, just you starting to code and stopping after 2hs. I tried my hand at Inform but... didn't have time to learn a whole new program and make my mini puzzle work in time. So I switched back to Adventuron, and managed to make something... in just over 2hs... I ended up Reviving old versions of the EctoComp instead (3h limit). Still it was fun to try to make a parser game in such short amount of time. It's called FIA: The Vacuum Cleaner, it will take you maybe 5min to play. And... it was so fun I kind of want to make basic micro-parser in that little universe. Some sort of multi-episode series where you have a small puzzle in front of you to solve. Like an intro to parser type of thing. Maybe in different parser programs? We will see. I might end up popping up here and there as tiny little games.
When THAT was done, I went back to work on the English translation of Jeangille, cutting it so close for the SpringThing deadline I thought I would not make it (for real, my files were sent at 23:58! I honestly don't think this was my bestest translation. It probably would have needed a few more rounds of polish and maybe some beta-readers but... :/ the computer explosion happened in the middle of all this so. I guess it was enough... I hope it was enough... But yay! I made it! No bug! Probably just typos! I didn't manage to make the cool animation tho...
AND I updated my website to add all of these juicy thingies!
AND AND! I was interviewed by the Rosebush Magazine last week!
So that was my month. We did good, we did bad, we are exhausted.
What’s happening in April?
Oh wow, already April. WHAT DO WE HAVE HAPPENING? So much, we have so much happening.
First off, we have competitions looking for voters:
Vous pouvez lire le français ? Venez jouer et voter pour les entrées du Concours de FI Francophone ! La date limite est le 4 avril.
Also on the 4th of April, is the deadline to vote for the SeedComp! (@seedcomp-if) games! You can find the forms here. We really really need voters!
The Spring Thing just released a new harvest of games (including meee :P ), and will open voting in a bit less than 2 weeks. Come play!
Looking to create some games instead?
The next @neointeractives jam just opened for submission! Come participate in the Dialogue Jam!
Looking to attempt creating a parser that is easy enough for beginners? Come check the Text Adventure Literacy Jam! You need a tutorial and 5 puzzles to solve!
If you want a deadline to finish your project, maybe check out : Finish Your Project Jam 2024
And for lovers: Amare Games Festival 2024
On the shorter side, and in May: Narrative Design Awards 2024 (ranked), 🔥 Fuck Capitalism Jam 2024 🔥 (unranked)
Interested in other IF events?
April 1st is Source Code Amnesty. Come share the code of your creations! (I've added a bunch of mine on Github today)
You can now register to attend the 2024 Edition of the Narrascope! IRL or Virtual, there are a lot of great talks this year!
We had so far 10 actual entries for the Interactive Fiction Showcase 2024 ! If you made something in 2024, consider showcasing it there too!
Note: @neointeractives will have jams all year long. One a month/or so. And the next Planting Round of @seedcomp-if will start as soon as the results are dropped.
The PLANtm for April
I, erm... should take it easy this month. But also, actually finish stuff, because the more I start, the more I have to fix/finish and it's becoming A LOT...
Play more games: I haven't covered the Revival Jam yet (I'm getting on it!) and the SpringThing has just started. So I have a lot of new treaties just for me! (And also that 2nd Rank is so close I can taste it!).
Finish the Code of Ch5 of Harcourt and edit the Ending Chapter: the latter should be easy since it is pretty short. The former... I just need to bite my tong and get to it! It should probably take me a day to code those last passages...
Finish fixing The Roads Not Taken. Or An Eggcellent Preparation. Maybe the other parser too (it just needs a smidge of polish).
Complete the TALJ entry. The deadline is at the end of the month. I already have the basic structure. I need: a tutorial, commands to actually make the game work. And words. So many words. (Did I mention here I'm making a maze?)
I think that's good. I'm trying REALLY HARD not to tack on another Neo-Interactives entry (we're doing dialogues and I LOVE THOSE). But I WILL TRY MY BEST TO KEEP IT FOCUSED ON THE CURRENT PROJECTS!
~
The 2024 To-Do List:
LOL, I've only done the website! :D
The hopefully maybe easy to handle To-Do:
fix the bugs in EDOC + overall the French version to match (waiting for Adventuron to get the French language)
fix the bugs of TRNT + find a way to add the missing pieces (giving up on the translation)
fixing the interface of LPM and the popups + check animal interactions
figure out the One-Button JavaScrip/jQuery issue...
edit the loading screens of the completed tiny games to include the program/format logo at least.
The 'Need a Bunch of Content to update but it's planned!' To-Do:
Update my website (bunch new title - also I don't think the logo clicky thing work...) + redo my itch page
Finish TTATEH (MelS dependent - this year should be it - for real)
Finish Exquisite Cadaver (half-way mark by this summer - manif)
Finish P-Rix - Space Trucker (main path at least)
Update CRWL (it's been almost two years... I'm getting ashamed)
The Unlikely But it Would be Dope To-Do
Finish The Dinner as it was planned (and translate)
Finish In the Blink of an Eye as it was planned (and retranslate)
Finish The Rye in the Dark City
Fixing TTTT (at least fixing, maybe try adding some storylets)
And finally The 'It's impossible, but one can wish' TO-DO:
Remaster SPS IH (if I managed to start this after completing the rest... I'm going to eat a whole sheet cake).
Start the IFComp project (2025? Might end up being a ST?)
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larry-hiatus · 11 months ago
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Writing “Goals” for 2024
I made a list of writing goals in 2022 and 2023, so I decided to make one for this year too! (I’m putting “goals” in quotations because these are some things I would like to do, but I’m not necessarily aiming to definitely do them, if that makes sense. We’ll just see what happens!)
1. Tackle some ideas from my list - I keep adding to a list of potential fic ideas, and it’s getting long! They often get added to the list and then forgotten about, so I would love to write some of these instead of always starting fics from brand new ideas.
2. Write a long(ish) fic - This one is ehhhh, nerve wracking. I feel like I’m rubbish at longer fics (long by comparison to my normal stuff, which doesn’t usually go above 15K). I don’t have the attention span or motivation, I’m not good at plots or world building, and if it’s not PWP, I feel lost. That being said, I have ideas for longer fics, and I think it would be nice to try them out. We’ll see!
3. Write a non smut fic - As I mentioned above, non PWPs are not my strong suit. However, I usually try to make it a goal to write at least one non smut fic each year. It’s difficult for me. I was able to do it a few times this year, my favorite being my Halloween fic. I don’t always like how my non smut come out, but sometimes I have ideas that I want to write that don’t include smut. I think it can be a good challenge.
4. Finish and repost a specific old fic - Way back during One Direction’s prime, I wrote chaptered fics on Tumblr. They were well liked, and I enjoyed it! There is one fic that I really loved and never finished. I posted it on AO3 a couple of years ago, but I have since privated it. I would love to finally finish it, maybe even go back and update some of the old chapters to better reflect my writing style and abilities now, and then share it again with everyone.
5. Write for Wank Fest - In 2022, I wrote an infamous fic for Wank Fest, and I had a lot of fun. In 2023, I wanted to write for it again. I even had several ideas, but I didn’t have enough time or motivation to finish them! It would be great if I could come back to the fest this year.
6. Write a spur of the moment canon fic - 2023 was the first year that I did this, whipping out a fic in a couple of days based on an event that just happened IRL. I did it when Louis got new hand tattoos, when Harry accidentally posted his 1D shirt selfie, and with a series based on Harry’s naughty HSLOT shows. Obviously I can’t predict what will happen IRL or what will inspire me this year, but ya never know!
7. Write some fics for CSW based on past concert moments - Speaking of my HSLOT series, I had said that I might go back and write more fics for it based on older show moments, either Harry’s solo shows or even some 1D shows. I don’t have any immediate or definitive plans for that, but it’s in the back of my head!
8. Write a dark fic - This was something else that I did for the first time last year. I didn’t even understand why people would want to write or read a dark fic, but once I got into it, I loved it. I’m so proud of the fic I wrote, and I think it would be awesome if I could explore that kind of thing again.
9. Write a sequel - Yet another goal that I completed in 2023, and I’m adding it to my goal list again! I definitely have ideas, and I’ve gotten requests, so it’s definitely a possibility!
10. Use a beta more often - I never used to post fics without getting them betaed first. However, this past year, I haven’t done it as much. Part of this is because I was doing so many sudden fics that I wanted to post ASAP, but another reason is because I have a hard time taking criticism and finding a balance for what kind of betaing I want/need. I think it would be beneficial for me to try and push past that a bit!
That’s all I’ve got for now! I’ve reused some old goals, but hey, they’re good ones for me lol. We shall see what happens as the year goes on!
Going to tag some lovely writers—I would love to hear some of your goals, plans, hopes, or ideas for the year if you haven’t already posted a list! @lunarheslwt @alwaysxlarrie @larrysballetslippers @enchantedlandcoffee @hellolovers13 @zanniscaramouche @harruandlou @loveislarryislove @red-pandaaa @nooradeservedbetter @greeneyesfriedrice @hl-obsessed @beelou @28goldens @huggieshalo @justanothershadeofblue @littleohs @louieshalo @allwaswell16 @parmahamlarrie y
Feel free to say I tagged you if you want to share your writing goals too!
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smilebackwards · 9 months ago
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fic writer meme
thanks to @vinelark for the tag!
1. How many works do you have on Ao3? ~155. Approximate count because some are podfics of my work back when it was the convention to make the writer also an author. And I have some stuff posted in an anonymous collection which I don't think get counted in works despite counting into other stats.
2. What's your total Ao3 word count? 487,897. I will hopefully be cracking half a million this year!
3. What fandoms do you write for? Currently Batman, Star Wars, Foundation, Shadowhunters, Lord of the Rings, whatever random thing catches my attention.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Double Blind [Daredevil/MCU] Exit Strategy [Batman] Surveillance [Batman] Extension [Batman] Victory Braid [Lord of the Rings]
5. Do you respond to comments? Very sporadically. Mostly for comments where there was something specific I wanted to respond to or comments from someone who prompted/inspired the fic. I feel a bit bad that I don't because I love all comments but it's a lot of energy for me that I could instead be putting into more writing.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Probably Everything I Build (Is Breaking Down).
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I'm a sucker for a happy ending so there's a lot to choose from! Maybe Rearrange.
8. Do you get hate on fics? Not a lot, but people have left some truly unhinged stuff on Exit Strategy. I delete/block where needed.
9. Do you write smut? I'm not good at it. There might be like 3 sentences and a fade to black.
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you have written? I write a lot of fusion AUs but not many crossovers. There's probably some weird ones in my older stuff!
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Full reposting, not that I know of. I did find that someone basically rewrote one of my fics, with extremely specific details, and that didn't feel great.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes, many of my fics have been translated :)
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? A lot of my fics are based on prompts so kind of collaborative in that way, but the actual words on the page writing bit is pretty solitary for me.
14. What's your all time favorite ship? X-Wing. Iconic.
15. What is a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Still pained by my Les Mis Olympics AU WIP.
16. What are your writing strengths? I think I do a fun mix of humor and angst in my writing. Maybe word selection, I am obsessed with finding the best word with the most appropriate connotations. And perseverance, I will finish fics years later.
17. What are your writing weaknesses? Extreme slowness. All vibes, no plot. Cannot write fic longer than 15k.
18. Thoughts of writing dialogue in another language in fics? I think generally I prefer to write in English and dialogue tag that someone said something in a different language. Occasionally I do the italics to indicate or don't do italics but use Google Translate which inevitably goes poorly. This reminds me that someone sent me a translation fix comment and I need to go see if I can find that.
19. First fandom you wrote for? Yeah, it was probably Harry Potter. I recently found an old spiral notebook where like 14 year old me wrote in colored markers and it is the worst thing ever, I should burn it, but on the other hand it reminds me that I'm kind of proud that I've kept at writing so long and improved.
20. Favorite fic you have written? I think Misson Report. I have an enduring love for Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon and I like the cadence of it.
tagging @dreaming-marchling, @andrea-lyn, and anyone else who might be interested!
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laird-o-gerblins · 2 years ago
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Through the sheer force of 27mg of methylphenidate I'm going through my hoard-drawers, which have been maturing for over a decade now.
Growing up my mum's always encouraged throwing shit away that's no longer needed, as my grandad was a grade A+ super-hoarder, he had a cabinet under the stairs full of stuff that might be useful, some day, and heavens knows what in his room (separate from my gran's room) - all I *heard* about was the money stashed in his mattress (most of which has gone towards his and my gran's care expenses bc a working class family can't have elder care and keep more than £15k *inclusive of property* (read: family homes).
So to get to the actual point of my post, I've been torn for years between "get rid of xyz, it's not useful, you don't need it," and what I'm beginning to see is probably that good old autistic/ ND attachment to inanimate objects. There are some things here that are straight up junk - training notes my weirdass old boss insisted trainees take, fuckin' plastic bags, paintbrushes that are good for nothing but I felt guilty throwing out bc my aunty bought them for me when I was twelve.
HOWEVER there's also some shit that actually brings a smile to my face (now that I'm a little older and some of that ol' non-practicing culturally catholic guilt fell away.) Like the postcards I got on a school trip to Italy, when I'd been instructed to buy some for my cousin who collects them, forgot to buy at any of the actual historical site gift-shops we were at, then panic-bought at the airport before the trip back to Scotland. There's also the imprints from my orthodontics work, that's actually pretty cool to look over. Spent years remembering them every few months or so and thinking, wow, there's no way I should be keeping them.
BUT THEY'VE MADE MY DAY! I get to look back at my old teeth from before the braces and a million extractions, when I was a kid who felt out of place and didn't know why because I've never really heard of being trans never mind not being a boy *or* a girl, and my being out of step socially isn't that big of a deal in a small country school, and my extreme distractibility and emotional outbursts are simply dealt with instead of being examined as proof of Something. But this lil kid tried their best even when they were told their best wasn't good enough, and they took their insecurities about their fucked up teeth and turned it into a fun joke, calling themself a "vampire were-rabbit," because that Wallace and Gromit" movie was stuck in their head.
I'm really glad that lil kid stuck with themself long enough to become me and I'm finishing this fucking post before my wet eyes develop into actual tears thank you and good Timezone.
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heroesriseandfall · 2 years ago
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Okay so. Writing update, I did end up committing all the way to NaNoWriMo this year, but the breakdown of my miscellaneous mostly Batfam writing project is hilarious to me, so if you are interested in what my DC writing looked like in November, I did silly math.
The 50,500 words for my project this year was basically whatever writing of my own that I did in November and that I considered enough effort/part of a dedicated something (so not, like, text messages or whatever random thing) to “count” for the project. Most of it was various DC fanfics or casual comics analysis.
Out of the 50k words written for the goal (non-bolded percents are sections included within the percent group right before them):
52% was for my still in progress “miles apart” long fic (basically a canon divergent “what if a lonely place of dying but earlier and no Jason death and lots of early batbros + NTT and also stuff that I want to see more of from that era” fanfic)
But only 37% of my writing was the actual fanfic content.
15% was just me plotting that fanfic (canon divergent long fics take so much to plan ok) and also my in-text notes
Those notes include me wondering/asking future me editing questions such as “check Who’s Who on DCUI to see how tall Victor Stone is compared to Kory” (6’6” vs. 6’4” btw) and “should Gar really be sitting on people as an elephant, how much restraint does he need to have to not kill people??” (maybe he shouldn’t sit on non-invulnerable assassins when he weighs 2-7 tons?) and also “does Dick have a car in NTTv2?” (…I think so??? I would assume? but he seems to take a lot of taxis/fly with Kory instead??)
29% was just me rambling/writing analysis about some of the Batkids. Unsurprising but amusing that I was just rambling about them for 15k.
As part of that rambling, 13% was me figuring out a post-Crisis age timeline for Babs based on comics. Fun and necessary but sometimes agonizing because I have to cite comics I do not like...
More rambling, 10% was me analyzing comics for what pre-Robin Tim’s Batfam obsession looked like based on post-Crisis. It’s relevant to my fanfic, okay!
8% was another (TimBern) fanfic I started because I got stuck on a plot point in the long fic and needed something less plot-heavy.
4% another (WIP) fanfic mostly about Tim & Bruce. unfinished. idk where it is going.
3% writing for college assignments. RIP finals.
2% potentially finishing up a one shot about pre-Robin Jason that I don’t know what to do with (it doesn’t feel done...).
1% possibly finishing the draft of another Dick & Tim fanfic (an angst-heavy Red Robin-era canon divergence).
1% starting a Robin Jason & Dick fanfic that I’m also not sure where to go with (pls I just want them to be cute first brothers).
I must also note that during all of this I was going slightly nuts not having any current projects to write about the women in the Batfam...downside of setting my current main fic smackdab in one of the least gender-diverse era of Batfam (in between Babs retiring Batgirl & becoming Oracle, no less!). Which is how I ended up writing 6.5k of Barbara Gordon timeline. I only lasted that long because I had Donna & Kory for the New Titans parts <3 (I need to add more of them I have another short scene planned)
Anyway. I just found it fun to look at how much I wrote of what in this jumble of a project. I have done NaNoWriMo previously but it had been a while since I really committed to it, so it was fun to actually write this much again. Even if I, uh, probably neglected some schoolwork for it. oops?
None of these fanfics are ready to be posted btw, they are a mess, but progress is progress, and if I do some editing in December, maybe a few will be :)
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menzosarres · 6 years ago
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hey friends - anybody want to help me be a productive writing human? 
(yes, this is going to be a call for prompts - kind of) 
as you can probably tell, I’m pretty swamped w the politicing these days (got a House to take back and it gets more and more crucial every fucking day) but I’m a very specific kind of busy that usually leaves me with a very specific kind of free time... in the office. Which was really hell for my daily writing resolution until I decided to change mediums, go old-school, and ever since I’ve managed to churn out a couple hand-written notebook pages every day, without fail, between meetings and emails and screaming abt the news. It’s been,, great? I went off a prompt a day from someone’s pride month calendar for June paired w obscure colors and wound up writing some weird original stuff... some weird fic... 
anyway, the month is about to change, and this time I thought it might be nice to take prompts. Now, no guarantees on when (if ever, because I’m terrible) these would actually get typed up. Might just end up posting straight pics of my terrifying illegible scribbles fresh off the notebook page, but I’ll do my best to translate eventually. For ideas, I’m going to link a couple prompt posts I’ve saved and swore I’d eventually post but never did (send the post title w the number or prompt itself so i know which one its for). Aiming for short and simple for the most part, but feel free to go off script, and definitely feel free to specify a ship/fandom. Willing to write for pretty much any femslash you’ve ever seen on my blog and probably plenty you haven’t. If you’ve seen a fandom and it has ladies, i’m probably here for it. I also have a very incomplete tags page with a ships list and a page with most of the other fic i’ve written, or, heck, keep it fandom-free and get a taste of the absolute nonsense my brain comes up with in the lawless world of original fiction. 
I’ve never Actively solicited prompts before so who knows if any of y’all will send, but this seemed like a thing worth throwing out there in my airport wait time, and I’d really, really love to get a full thirty-one days’ worth, so... feel free to send multiple, feel free to send anon, feel free to send ur friends, etc. etc. etc. This handwriting thing seems to have been really working for me (seriously, would recommend - the way ur brain works on paper is hella different in a Good way) so let’s see if I can keep it up through July! 
Some prompt posts: x | x | x | x | x
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yuzukult · 3 years ago
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cigarettes & coffee (m) || yjh & reader
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title: cigarettes & coffee pairing: yoon jeonghan x reader genre: angst, fluff, smut, bad influence!jeonghan, coffee drinker!oc word count: 3.4k warnings: unprotected explicit smut, slight spit kink (bye), jeonghan is a smoker (wags finger, bad for u!!) a/n: um, yes, i wrote this instead of finishing the 15k jk fic. enjoy. no, i did not proofread bc rereading my smut makes me shy. also, thanks @/cheolbooluvr for helping me fix the background of the banner bc i couldn't bother to do it myself.
He reeks of cigarettes; the smoke is an aromatic stain that weaves a permanent spot in his clothing until he decides to rescue himself from this repulsive habit. But the nicotine finds home in his lungs every time he has the butt of the cigarette at the corner of his pretty pink petal soft lips, nothing in resemblance of his darkened, coal-like lungs.
He’s supposed to look cool.
And honestly, he kind of does.
But it’s so bad for him, this stick of addiction, because he smokes packs of it on a weekly basis. It’s unhealthy (just like he is for you), and you worry about him. But despite all the efforts to tell him to quit, he wouldn’t quit the cigarettes. He’d rather quit you.
Jeonghan puffs another breath of smoke in your face. He’s gotten more rude, if that was even possible, and it causes heat to rise around your neck. “What’d you say, pretty?”
“I said you should quit,” you state boldly, fists balled by your sides like they’re holding every ounce of confidence in you. “Cigarettes are bad for you.”
He scoffs, head leaning back in finding relief of getting that dosage of nicotine. “You’re bad for me, baby. But I’m still seeing you.”
Rolling your eyes, you cross your arms over your chest. You’re wearing that leather jacket he lent you months ago, one he said to not to return, only because you’re his girl and you’re so goddamn gorgeous in it.
You let out a sound of disbelief in your head. Of course he’d say that. What else would he say?
“Whatever. You can quit me then if you won’t quit the cigarettes.”
Intrigued, he leans back against his propped up motorcycle. He’s the ultimate ‘bad influence’ type—from the Harley to the leather jacket, the heavy chunky boots to being a lead guitarist in a band, and even sporting his brunette long hair that cascades down to his shoulders in waves. “What’d you say, doll?”
“I said,” it’s more stern the second time you say it, “quit me. Since you can’t get rid of that nasty stuff.”
Jeonghan squints his eyes at you, bringing that forbidden treat back up to his lips. “I ain’t quitting you.”
“Well, it’s either me or the cigs.”
He chuckles, another exhale fogging his senses. “Baby, you don’t know what you’re talking about. You’re even using the jargon, cigs, which, by the way, nobody really says anymore.”
“Well,” you swallow. He’s always got this effect on you; weak in the knees and mouth suctioned out of words. Jeonghan makes you more nervous than when you take exams—there’s something about him that definitely tells you that you shouldn’t get involved, but there’s also something about him that makes you feel like you have to stay. You’re not going to this time though. “If you’re not quitting those cig—” pausing, you stop yourself from using the same word he mocked you for, “—cigarettes… then you’re quitting me.”
He gets up from his motorcycle, finishing up the last puff before tossing the butt onto the floor and stepping on it with his worn out boots. “I said it once, and I ain’t saying it again after this. I’m not quitting you.”
“Well, you should. Because you have an addiction to bad things for you, and I’m too good. You can’t have that, can you?”
A little too daring, you don’t like to admit it, but it needs to be done. Jeonghan quirks a brow, impressed by your sudden courageousness because you’re often timid and quiet in his presence.
“Pft. You think you’re good for me?”
Ouch. “You don’t?”
Jeonghan moves closer. The closer he gets, the more air gets vacuumed from your lungs. “Baby, I don’t do schoolwork. I don’t study, I don’t do assignments, I don’t go to classes. Fuck, I even fucking dropped out of high school. But you…” he laughs, but it’s not because he finds it funny, “you got me fucking waiting for you outside of a University I don’t even attend. I’m at the fucking library, waiting for your ass—”
“I never asked you to.”
In complete disbelief, Jeonghan shakes his head. What the fuck did you put in your coffee this morning?
In the midst of his thoughts, you’re already sliding the leather jacket off your shoulders. Words are just words, but actions speak louder. “Here’s your jacket back.”
He scowls. “The fuck you giving me that back for?”
“Uh,” you scratch your head. “Because we’re breaking up.”
“We’re not breaking up, you’re just acting up,” pulling your jacket back onto your shoulders, Jeonghan has a hard stare on you. “So stop talking nonsense, yeah?”
Letting out a deep breath, you put your hands over Jeonghan’s, stopping him from putting his jacket on you once more. “I don’t think this is going to work out. I don’t like going home and reeking like your cigarettes. It’s disgusting.”
He sucked in his cheeks. The silence is like the elephant in the room; stuffy and tight, but he remains quiet as it swells up between the two of you. “I’ll quit the cigs.”
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His cigarettes always permeate your senses—when you’re with Jeonghan, it swarms your head like the plague just as much as your thoughts are filled with him. From the smell of his tees to the warmth of being in his arms, Jeonghan was a walking cigarette and although women found him sexy standing outside of the school buildings, leaned up against the brisk masonry, his stench was too much for you.
Today is not like other days.
He still wears that smirk on his face, does that annoying clicking sound with his mouth, and has his back up on the side of the building with his chunky boots on. The ground is wet, and with the swooshing sounds of the cars driving by, you’re surprised he even opts for riding his bike here when it rained barely moments before.
“What are you doing here?” You hiss, readjusting the strap of your backpack over your shoulder. “I thought I said we’re breaking up.”
“I don’t like that you gave me an ultimatum, baby.”
He’s annoying, but he makes a good point. It wasn’t fair to give him an ultimatum like that, but it’d grown exhausting trying to keep up with his antics and his smoking habits. He was asking too much from you.
“It’s fair to say I don’t wanna date a smoker.”
“I ain’t a smoker, baby.” With that, Jeonghan pulls a box of cigarettes out of his pocket like some magician and hands it over to you.
You stare at the cardboard box, then back at the boy you’ve been head over heels for. “You say you’re not a smoker and then you show me a box of cigarettes?”
He gestures to you to check out the box.
Sighing, you’re back to playing his games and he doesn’t have to even try.
Reaching over, you flip the pack open, and oddly enough, it’s not cigarettes in there.
They’re… lollipops?
“What are you getting at here?” You query, furrowing your brows. He doesn’t fail at being aggravating, and Jeonghan doesn’t seem like he wants to break out of that either.
“I told you, baby. I’m not a smoker anymore.”
You narrow your gaze at him. “Prove it.”
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Jeonghan strangely decides to deliver your favorite coffee order. He even wears a shirt that you haven’t seen before—and Jeonghan likes having the simplest attire that doesn’t require much effort, therefore anything outside of grey, black, and white t-shirts weren’t his thing. This loose beige button up is different. Different like how he’s been acting.
“I got you coffee.”
“I see that,” you respond, slowly reaching out for the paper cup filled with the goodness that’s as strong as jet fuel. “What’s the occasion?”
“I thought about what you said… quitting cigarettes.”
“Mmhm,” you hum, opening the cap of your drink. Just to make sure. No cream, no sugar, just plain black coffee. “What about it?”
“Let’s make a compromise,” he says, hands sliding into the front pockets of his leather pants. You suspect it’s for a show he has later tonight, while you’re stuck in the confines of a room for a late class. “Quit your coffee and I’ll quit the cigs.”
Okay, he’s definitely using ‘cigs’ to mock you now, and you’re sure of it. “I’m not quitting coffee, Jeonghan. It’s not the same harm as when you smoke cigarettes.”
“Gets your heart racing though,” he points out slyly, a smug expression on his face. “I know if you have too much, just barely enough, it’ll have you panicking. I don’t like that for you, baby, it’s bad for you.” Jeonghan’s words ring in your ears, singing like a threat dressed with the sweetness of his voice, but uncover the blanket of saccharine and you’ll see his devious plan.
“I’m not quitting coffee,” you’re not afraid to repeat yourself. Bringing the drink to your lips, the bitterness awakens your tastebuds and it’s almost like injecting the caffeine into your veins. It’s the boost you needed, especially before a class that’s scheduled in the deep hours of the night. “Not the equivalent to your smoking habits.”
“Then, like I said, let’s make a compromise.”
You freeze midway of drinking, pulling yourself away from your very own addiction, to look at another in the eye. “What’s the compromise?”
He knows he’s got you wrapped around his finger. “Let’s… do less smoking, and less drinking coffee. Here and there is fine. Less is more. You always said you wanted an equal relationship, right? Well, I know you don’t like the smell and what it does to my insides, and well, likewise. Your kisses are bitter, and you’re colder when you’re on the bean.”
You snort. On the bean? But nonetheless, it seemed reasonable. Cigarettes and coffee.
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Gasping, the kisses that Jeonghan plants on the side of your neck has your toes curling. He’s got a hand on your thigh, pulling it around his waist as his crotch presses down onto yours and into the cushions of his couch. Inhaling sharply, your senses are saturated with Jeonghan, and Jeonghan only—without the cigarettes. He smells different though, like something sweet. Like sugar.
He’s got a cherry lollipop stem in between his fingers.
Head leaned back, he looks at you with those hooded eyes, darkened irises that ask for more. He pops the treat in between his lips, crimson and shiny like his plump lips, tempting a kiss from you. “Want some, baby?”
You swallow. Words don’t leave you, but your lips part just slightly for him to drag the candy from his mouth and slip into yours. It’s wet and warm from him, and on a different occasion, you’d find this disgusting, but with Jeonghan’s breath ghosting over your face and the way he seems equally as infatuated with you, it’s more honeyed than you’d like to admit.
“Fuck the candy,” he blurts, tossing it onto your coffee table without care, and just when you’re about to lecture him for not throwing it into the trash can that’s right next to it, his lips crashes onto yours.
Jeonghan tastes like the confectionery, immersed in nothing but cherries. His lips are tinted pink, soft and gentle against yours; fingers finding way from your nape, and up tangled into your loosened locks, he doesn’t hesitate to have you as close as possible, especially when he thought he was going to lose you.
With his guitar sitting on its stand in the corner of your living room, his clothes hung in a small portion of your closet, and his toothbrush sitting cozily by yours on the bathroom sink, he doesn’t become just a hook-up anymore. And the airy sweet nothings he whispers into your ears when he’s tugging down your sweatpants and flinging it aside, he sneaks a quick peck on your jawline before pressing his forehead against yours is confirmation of it. It’s too loving, too intimate to be just a one night stand anymore. Or two nights… three nights…
There’s something endearing about the way he gingerly bumps his nose against yours, and his breath doesn’t hint cigarettes anymore, instead replaced by those fruity lollipops he sucked on in lieu of the cancer stick. Yesterday morning was strawberries, and last night was blueberries.
And tonight, it’s cherries.
An action that makes you shy, he makes it comfortable. He distracts you with kisses while his hand trails down the curves of your frame and finds home in between your legs. Unconsciously, you close them together but Jeonghan taps your thigh lightly and you open them gradually, heart racing faster than caffeine usually makes it. How ironic.
But unlike black coffee, Jeonghan lessens the bitterness. It’s not your first time, but for some reason, Jeonghan always has you anxious like it is. Yet, in spite of the fear, you still want to drown in him, to be engulfed by him, to be loved by him.
Thumb brushing your bud, you whimper in the kiss. A smirk tugs on the edges of his lips, and heat rises up to your chest in embarrassment. Jeonghan enjoys it though—he loves all the sounds you make; it’s like the melody to his favorite song, so inviting, so alluring, and it always drives him to want to make more out of you.
“Good?” He asks assuringly, and you chew on your bottom lip with a gentle nod.
His fingers aren’t as thick as him, but they still do wonders. He has you writhing in pleasure underneath him, hands grasping onto his arms, head thrown back, and the roots of your hair wet from the overwhelming feeling taking over you. To you, you see whites behind your lids.
But to Jeonghan, he sees the prettiest girl underneath the dim lights of a shoddy apartment.
Sweat glistening on your neck and down to your collarbones, he’s hypnotized by your beauty. You’re always so caught up in your head about him, and how much of a bad influence he is on you, but you’ve changed him in ways that he didn’t think was possible. From convincing him to visit you at school instead of the limitations of the four walls of his old apartment to quitting cigarettes, he’s sunken into your love so deep, it was like quicksand. It was too late when he realized how far gone he’d been.
When you reach your high, Jeonghan is desperate to see you again. To watch your face contort into content, to get lost in the feeling because of him and nobody else. But your grip on his wrist says otherwise, because you’re giving those bedroom eyes in the middle of your living room.
“You wanna move?”
“No,” you snap, letting go of your hold to only tug on the drawstrings of his sweatpants. “I want to do this.”
“Let me make you cum again—”
“No,” you’re getting good at saying what you want, and he’s thoroughly impressed. You’re not who you used to be, and although he loved that version of you, he shares the same love of this new one of you. “I want you. Take it off.”
It’s his turn to gulp. You’re so bold, and sometimes, he doesn’t know what to do with himself. His pants and boxers are discarded onto the floor next to the two of you, and when he looks back at you, you’re already propped up on your arms. “Let’s um… yeah.”
He laughs, so hearty and warm, resembling a campfire on a cool, autumn night. “Don’t get shy on me now, you just said you wanted me to take it off.”
“Right,” you say awkwardly, and Jeonghan lets out another chuckle. He likes this, and how it’s different from the other girls he’s been with because they’re either too shy or too confident. Nothing wrong with that, it’s just… this felt real. “Um—”
Deciding it’s best to not let you talk, he’d rather hear you moan his name.
He’s got his hand down beside your head, and your breath gets caught in your throat. He’s been this close before, but he’s so good at making you feel like you’ve got some schoolgirl crush on him.
When he’s with you sometimes, it’s almost like the equivalent of drinking alcohol. Jeonghan gets buzzed, like he’s taken a couple swings of beer, and he’s completely inebriated just from your love. It’s like for a brief moment, all is forgotten—that tough guy reputation, the cold shoulders he’s supposed to give—you’re worse than cigarettes, the things you do to him.
Arms linking around his neck, you have him close, foreheads pressing against each other once more. His hands are roaming around the expanse of your ass, legs open and welcoming just him. Legs around his frame, he spits into the palm of his hand before wrapping it around his girth for a couple pumps before brushing the head of his cock against your swollen lips. He looks back up at you through his fluttery lashes, so pretty and long, and you give him that confirming nod.
Jeonghan slides into you with ease; you’d been wet and ready for him the moment he had his lips onto yours. Hips flushed against yours, he halts for a couple seconds to watch your face scrunch up at the intrusion—the initial stretch was a bit harsh at first, but with enough time, you’re already, tapping his arms to move his goddamn hips because now he was taking too long.
He takes the tightening around his cock as another signal to go.
His name escapes from your pretty lips, just as he’d hope for, and that darkened gaze underneath those hooded eyes are enough to inch back and slam his hips into yours. He could hear how wet you are, and when he looks down to see his dick slipping in and out of you, he can’t hold back the groan that releases from his chest because he’s soaked in you. “Feels good?”
Truthfully, you don’t want to talk. There’s this layer of shyness that still lays over you, despite being naked and exposed in front of Jeonghan. “Yeah,” you say breathily, and it’s all Jeonghan needs to hear.
Gripping your thighs, he rocks into you before quickening his pace and the sounds that fill the room are your squelching around his dick and skin slapping. The thought flusters you, but when his addicting lips press against that sweet spot behind your ear, those lewd moans are harder to contain, and your nails dig into the flesh on his shoulders. Jeonghan can’t help but let a groan slip; the idea of you marking him and someone questioning them stirs his lower stomach in pleasure. He likes being yours, and he hopes you don’t mind being his.
“You’re such a good girl for me,” he rasps, mouth slightly agape. Jeonghan pushes your legs down, pressed against your chest, and lifts himself up a bit to get a new angle and you can’t hold back your whimpers anymore. You’re so full, full of Jeonghan, full of his love and all the sweetness he inhabits. He’s been so good for you, and it’s your turn to be his good girl.
Leaning up just barely, your fingers comb through his dampened chocolate locks. Jeonghan’s charmed gaze meets with yours, ears perked up attentively like he knows you want to say something, but he doesn’t stop thrusting into you. “Can you do something for me, baby?”
“Anything,” he spurs, completely entranced. “What you want, love.”
Love. Your heart swells. “Come in me?”
His eyes clenched shut, and his hips slow down. “Don’t say things you don’t mean.”
“I’m on the pill,” you assure, and a soft whine comes from him. “It’s safe, but only if you wanna.”
“Fuck, okay, whatever you want, I’ll do for you.”
He doesn’t forget about you—Jeonghan never does—and his fingers play with your clit when he feels himself on the brink of cumming. but he doesn’t finish until you do. Even with the cold guy exterior, he still puts you first.
Sitting up, his hips fasten in movements, and his lids grow heavy. “Fuck,” he whispers, and your thumb brushes against his cheek lovingly. “I’m gonna cum, baby,” and with that, his body stutters, pressed against yours with his face dug into the crook of your neck.
After a few moments, you let out a quiet laugh. “Are you okay?”
“I think I’m gonna be the one that’s the coffee addict now if I wanna keep this up.”
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fallenwingzero · 2 years ago
Text
Frozen Teardrop translation
Finally, a whole, never before released chapter done! This chapter was  over 15k words so more like three chapters ahh,, but I’m relieved and a lot of interesting stuff happens so it was worth it. As usual, translation is under the read more.
Edited: Some names have been changed for accuracy. Thanks @cloakandfire for your help!
Changes made in this chapter are: Noinheim to Neuenheim, Astraea to Astoria, Herve Honneger to Elv Onegell, Disneuf to Dixneuf.
Frozen Teardrop
Volume 7: Rhapsody of Loneliness
Chapter: Interlude of the Heart (Preventor 5 Part 2)
“If we don’t stop the fighting here now, there will be need for more soldiers like us again.”
*
“If that happens the history of ‘tragedy will continue forever.”
*
“How many more times do I have to kill?” *
“How many times do I have to kill that child and her puppy?”
---- After colony – 196 December 27 Re – Entry ---- Heero Yuy
AC – 197 April 09
Sanc Kingdom/ Sky VTOL Aircraft --- 06:47pm ---
It was five hours before the time limit presented by Epyon del Telos the “Next Government”. The preventor’s VTOL aircraft was heading for the mountainous region of Sanc Kingdom. Sally Po, who is maneuvering the ship, made a large detour while maintain high altitude, being careful not to get caught in the security network of the Sanc Kingdom Castle. On the other hand, she called for communications to the Sanc Kingdom castle with the one available open line.
“This is Preventor Water, please respond Epyon Del Telos.”
A man with a muffler and sunglasses responded.
“Are you ready with the ransom?”
As far as she could make out from background noise, he appeared to be in the hall of Sanc Kingdom Castle.
“Yes, Pure gold ingots… but they’re shipped in ten batches… that’s ok right?”
“That sounds like too much trouble….”
“Well, that’s the amount we gathered… Or would you rather wait until we have the full amount.”
“What are you playing at?”
“This way you can slowly check the authenticity of the pure gold, and it’s also safer than handing it over directly, so it’s all good, isn’t it?”
“Hmm, if it turns out to be imitation gold, our nuclear bomb will be---”
Sally immediately interrupted before he could finish.
“I understand! I’ll parachute the first ransom at 7:00pm! After that I’ll drop another every 30 minutes, so I can deliver the full amount to you within the deadline… Oh, and if a jet is approaching at that time, don’t shoot it down!”
The man was convinced and with a dissatisfied voice replied,
“………Understood.”
“We Preventors will make another announcement after the hostages are released and it is confirmed that they are safe! That’s all, communication over!”
Even though the Preventors were the ones to make the initial negotiation, it is impossible to turn off the radio from here.
It is common practice to try an extract information on terrorists through keeping them on the line as long as possible through conversation.
“But we don’t have time, right?”
The actual pure gold ingots loaded into the container were only two ingots prepared by the Winner family and one by the global government. It was only a bluff that there would be ten ingots. However, this would allow them to approach just above Sanc Kingdom Castle at least three times.
Behind Sally, four Preventor’s were carefully preparing for action. They were to descend in a two-man cell (pairs of two) during the first and second low-flying flights, respectively. Heero Yuy wasn’t on the ship with the others and instead was on board the Cancer from before.
“Looking back through history, peaceful military organizations are the most dangerous.” Quatre Raberba Winner, who was ready, began to explain using the Unified Alliance of the Earth as an example.
“The Alliance was at war in the name of ‘Justice and Peace’, but in reality, there was no one to fight, yet they developed weapons just to keep the organization alive. And they were willing to forge a rebellion to make Sanc Kingdom and the colonies their enemies.”
“It’s because they were corrupt.” Duo Maxwell gave a naïve impression while inspecting a simple thruster device for descent, much like a crutch. 
“Then I have a question. How can we say that the Preventor’s will not be corrupt in the future? Why can we be sure that it will never turn to control?”
“Fortunately, Preventors have no opposition, and the organization itself is small and can keep themselves in check by monitoring each other. But if they grow huge, as was stated in their initial goal, the ideal can be forgotten, and it falls into a military organization that hunts down the weak.”
“…. I won’t allow it to become corrupt or fall as long as my eye is on it.” Chang Wufei, an official Preventers Bureau member, interrupted Quatre’s story.
He looked at Winner preparing the gold ingots with disappointment before saying,
“We don’t need to prepare any gold.”
Duo understood Quatre’s intentions with the words Wufei said.
“This is not absolute justice.” 
He was in a time of chaos and couldn’t ‘determine justice’.
“It has already been proven in the uprising of the Mariamaia army.”
Wufei may have said this at an intentional timing while showing dissatisfaction. Underneath his bullish face, a mixed heart of self-depreciation, self-discipline, and atonement seemed to hold his breath. Quatre could hear the melancholy in his words.
“Unfortunately, humanity has a pitiful habit of pursuing self-interest. This habit was useful for humanity’s exploration of space, but as soon as people realize War and Peace can be profitable, various for-profit organizations will flock like crows. When that happens, a second and third Alliance force may be created, within which a new OZ may appear.”
“But we don’t have to hide anything” Duo said. “Aren’t we the good guys? If so, it’s ok as long as it’s honest.”
“It’s not that simple you’re…..” Trowa Barton said looked sideways at Duo, checking the outside air pressure and asked him,
“Did you forget when the Gundam were a ‘symbol of the rebels’?”
Duo clenched his teeth.
The Gundam were once used for political propaganda. At the stage of the initial battle in AC195 “OZ” succeeded in pulling out five Gundams to the front stage using cunning means. It can be said that the same method is used this time as well. It seems that the request to publicize the existence of the Preventors has such as intention.
“Tsk…It reminds me of something I don’t like”
It was none other than Trowa who publicly executed Duo’s partner, Gundam Deathscythe. After that, even when Duo had Deathscythe Hell back in his possession and returned to the colonies to live in seclusion, there were people who tried to recruit Duo as a warrior revolutionary of the colonies. He was invited to use his Gundam as the main force of the White Fang.
“Sure, I knew better at the time so of course I declined.”
“If you go to White Fang, you will be treated as a hero.” Hilde who was there, once told him.
“I’m not interested in such a job… I’m always good at being the god of death.”
He truly believed that from the bottom of his heart.
Even if it was a lonely miserable battle, that was the path Duo chose.
In many cases, when you stand on the front stage, the intention of the individual is hardly reflected. In order to avoid that, the former Gundam pilots continued to fight by each individual without participating in any force or huge organization at any time. But still, they were swayed and used for the convenience of others. That was their AC 195. That’s why they tried to dispose of their Gundam into the Sun the following year, and this year they self-destructed them. There was no longer any need for the Gundams. The Preventors should also remain hidden. That view was the unanimous decision of everyone here. 
A few minutes had passed and when the first ransom container was dropped at exactly 7pm, Quatre and Trowa descended shortly before that.
Sanc Kingdom Bay Undersea – 07:11PM-
Model Number OZ-08MMS Underwater Combat mobile suit “Cancer” reads the complex seabed terrain and heads towards where the Sanc Kingdom castle is located, pushed by the fast currents at high tide.
Passenger name, Heero Yuy. His mission was to rescue Relena Darlian and release the nuclear bombing equipment at Sanc Kingdom Castle. Heero is currently the best Preventor because of his mentality in re-matching and never losing his pride despite being defeated many times. Other members have recognized him as a man who constantly keeps his cool judgment and concentration, is not afraid of making mistakes, and continues to aggressively attack.
The Cancer, which is currently diving through the Sanc Kingdom, did not steer through the river, which is a tributary from Lake Lerney, but instead headed toward the steep cape in the northwest. At the bottom of the water below was the entrance to a long cave canal leading to the sewers of Sanc Kingdom Castle.
There was an old record that in the summer of AC 145, rebel soldiers entered from the cave canal and the Peacecraft royal family was taken hostage.
*
A few minutes earlier, Heero was shown an old map of the cave canal from the Preventor Operations Command Room on the luxury liner after being informed of the current situation by his staff, Quatre.
“Heero should infiltrate the Sanc Kingdom Castle through here.”
“…….. I understand.”
“We will start infiltrating from another direction. The timing of the start of the situation is quite delicate. Please keep the communication line open at the scheduled time.” Continued Quatre as he plainly told the details of the operation.
It seemed he had great trust. Heero, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to be bothered and he doesn’t say more than he needs to. Quatre finishes his instructions and finally gave a gentle but serious look.
“But please, don’t do anything unreasonable.”
Heero keeps his cold gaze.
“………. I understand the mission.
He then dove into the sea, leaving only those words, without showing emotion.
*
Cancer, with Heero on board, arrived at the cape at the target point. There was no entrance to the cave on the rock wall at the bottom of the sea. This situation was expected. Perhaps in the 50 years the sand, stone and dead bodies of various creatures that had settled on the sea bead had closed the entrance. Also, during the rise and fall of Sanc Kingdom, many large-scale navel battles were fought in this area, so that would of also of had an effect. In recent years, a typical example is the battle between Gundam Epyon and Wing Gundam Zero in the Fall of AC195.
Looking at the chart on the sub-monitor, Heero Yuy remembered when he was fighting on this cliff. His opponent at the time was Relena’s older brother, Milliardo Peacecraft. Both sides fought the first battle between ZERO systems in history, and finally saw the conclusion in an unbelievable situation, without winning or losing, of switching between each other’s aircraft. Heero could not get used to the Gundam Epyon ZERO system he was on board at the time.
“… That cliff…..” He muttered as the image of an hourglass appeared in his mind.
It was a scene where the bottom of the glasswork was missing, and the silver sand disappeared into the darkness of the void. It looks like a plankton descending into a deep, dark trench or countless stardust scattered in the jet-black outer space.
With such an image Heero, whose own memories are scattered and have disappeared, devised this method independently while being trained as a “weapon”. This method is to delete the cursed memories. If he was to be a high-performance killing machine, he would have to maintain a strong spirit with forced mind control that he decided to believe was possible to do so. However, it was more burdensome than he imagined and may have been counterproductive….
He didn’t understand why the image is an hourglass. However, he felt that “sand”, which just flows and disappears, is more “time” than mechanically ticking every second or an LCD screen changing rapidly. Heero is the type of person who lives in the present while cutting off the past.
No, it may be more accurate to say that he wanted to live like that. That he has lived a life that is so sad, painful, ruthless, and never wants to look back again.
“My past… I don’t need it.”
Thinking that, he regained his usual calm composure and operated his console to raise the communicator float from the upper torpedo tube of the Cancer. It was developed by the former “OZ” and was an excellent communication device that would not yield to any jamming radio waves. Commonly known as the “OZ Line”, when the communication device float comes out to the surface of the sea, it sends and receives a special pulse, enabling communication even from the deep sea. The only drawback was that it could only be used in a small area within a 1km radius.
Heero doesn’t waste any time. Until the communication device float could rise to the surface of the sea, ultrasonic exploration was conducted on a wide range of rock walls to determine the detailed topography and internal structure. He was able to identify approximate location of the entrance of the cave canal. The Cancer is equipped with four torpedo tubes. A salvo of four torpedoes would open the closed entrance. The problem was the danger of the explosion being noticed by those in the Sanc Kingdom Castle.
In the deep sea, vibrations and changes in sea level cannot be hidden even if the sound of the explosion is muffled.
“This is Red One Cancer… I’ve secured the OZ Line,” He called on a Preventor VTOL Aircraft far above.
Sanc Kingdom Castle Underground Shelter – 07:32PM
Dixneuf Neuenheim looked at his watch and then shook his head, clicking his tongue.
“Four and a half hours left….”
A few minutes earlier he had been informed that the second container had been dropped. He has also heard that all the first pure gold ingots were real. He could determine from this that the Global Government had accepted his request. However, Dixneuf was frustrated. The ransom didn’t matter to him. His true purpose was to launch the Perfect Peace Program “PPP”. The kitten “Sam” who was already displayed on the monitor of an old-fashioned laptop, recognized Relena Darlian as a “Peacecraft”. All Dixneuf had to do was have Relena enter the password “PEACECRAFTX2HEEROYUY”.
*
Many years ago, Dixneuf was handed a piece of software called Prototype Perfect Peace Program “P.P.P.P” by a person named Thomas Quarante at the behest of his father and boss, CEO Nove Neuenheim, to repair and improve this data and start it up. Surprisingly it consists of its own software which has never been launched. Nove had said that with this, complete control of the Martian sphere would be possible.
It was a program that administers certain vaccines to the majority of humans, and if there were a time when they don’t obey orders, they could activate the system and slaughter them all at once. Without a doubt, as ordered, Dixneuf began the restoration. It was possible to read the mathematical formula data from the software.
However, there was a lot of unreadable data too. No matter how good the team of programmers working together, it still took a considerable amount of time to remove the bugs and repair the data that was over fifty years old. Even so far, they couldn’t get it to start. It seemed that a password was needed.
It was found that a newly developed nanomachine on the computer network could be linked and with that a new project team was started in AC195, two years ago, to work on it. Still, they couldn’t solve the problem. The conditions to start it were too specific.
The conditions for unlocking the password that was finally read was that a person of the Peacecraft family and an AI (Artificial Intelligence) “Sam” had to be prepared. That level was unfinished even with the latest technology of today. It was activated only when the password “PEACECRAFTX2HEEROYUY” was entered, after which “Sam” would identify the Peacecraft. The intelligence level of the AI was high in the quantum computer class, and it is said that Gundam Zero’s system is the closest to that quantum computer.
Dixneuf came to a decision when Milliardo Peacecraft appeared on Mars with Gundam Epyon after the “Eve Wars”.
“Epyon also has the ZERO system. If I can get my hands on it and become Milliardo, the program should hopefully start.”
After Milliardo had left Mars, he did not hesitate to have his face reshaped into that of Milliardo’s. It would not be an exaggeration to say that it was madness. He also succeeded in killing Major Elf Onegell, who had been entrusted with the Gundam Epyon, and stealing the aircraft. An effort had also been made to become a Peacecraft by downloading the residual consciousness of “Merquise” that was in the ZERO system. However, the essential “PPP” did not start.
According to the ZERO system, it turned out that it would not start without the quantum computer-type AI “Sam” installed in “Wyvern”. Dixneuf tried to give up at this stage. No matter what records you look at the Wyvern, now fifty years old, no longer exists anywhere.
In addition, the Sanc Kingdom had been repeatedly destroyed and reconstructed and it was hard to believe that the data of “Sam” could have survived.
A subordinate of Mars reported that the Preventor’s were trying to restart the mobile unmanned dolls at “Vulcan”. The special agency of the Earth sphere rarely accessed Mars, and instead had hacked to obtain some confidential information. Such information found was about “Wyvern”. There was evidence that Duke Dermail and Chief Tubarov of the Romefeller foundation used “Sam” as a software reference during the development of the Mobile Dolls. This is proof that “Sam” still remains somewhere on Earth.
Dixneuf desperately searched around, the spurred madness was driving him to obsession. He investigated thoroughly with the full power of the Neuenheim Concern. As a result of his research, he had found that the most likely location for Sam was the portrait of King Marticus Rex Peacecraft in the hall of Sanc Kingdom Castle. The painting has a special neo-titanium defensive shield that protects it from air-raids and fire.
Despite the portrait being found, it still is not certain if this is Sam’s current location. It is unnatural that only one portrait is protected so carefully. As Dixneuf proceeded with the investigation, he got information that the data of “Sam” was in fact hidden there. In order to obtain it, he hired more than a dozen terrorists, took Relena and other government officials as hostages and set them up in Sanc Kingdom Castle. From the portrait, Dixneuf finally found an old-fashioned small computer. However, the essential AI was initially reset and could not be called “Sam” yet. At least 60 hours of researching and communication were required to improve the program.
For a moment, Dixneuf had believed that it was all finally completed but Sam didn’t recognize him as a Peacecraft. Dixneuf had tasted the feeling of defeat he had experienced many times before. Was there a mistake in the reading of the data? Or was there a more fundamental failure? Either way, he couldn’t stop this insane chase that had brought him so far. In his final bid, he asked Relena for help.
*
For the past hour or so, Dixneuf had been patiently persuading Relena Darlian.
“Miss Relena, think twice… If our demands are met, there will be no Preventors. Then revolutions and conflicts will break out again in various parts of the world and a huge military organization will be established to replace the Preventors. They will be similar to the former Unified Alliances of the Earth and the secret organization “OZ”. The history of tragedy will repeat itself if you don’t launch this program.”
“I don’t believe it’s possible for such a program to achieve “Perfect Peace”.
“No, I’m sure it will. This is a system that manages all mankind.”
“Peace is….---”
“I know, Peace is not something that can be given to you, It’s something each person must work for with their own hands.”
“…….”
“But it is better not to want humans to have freedom or independence…. By being ruled, a true “peaceful” world will be fulfilled.  
“Meow” The kitten Sam screamed from the monitor.
Relena refused to turn to the voice.
“……”
Dixneuf acted as a gentleman without showing his inner impatience.
“Now, Miss Relena…. I want you to throw away your Darlian name and return to a Peacecraft.”
But with her strong will, she never shook her head.
“I am aiming for peace just like you. The way to go and the place to reach are the same so why won’t you cooperate with me?”
“Mr. Dixneuf, at this moment you are threatening the global government with a nuclear weapon. Your “peace” is not the same as mine.”
“But true peace will come…. By abandoning the false peace here and now”
This had just become a chicken race towards “peace”. Relena thought that despair instead of “Peace” has become a precipitous cliff and is waiting ahead. She felt she was being tested.
“We must not achieve peace in this way”
There should still be some other option left and she had to find it in the time left. Given that “perfect peace” throws away all weapons “without giving up hope, but by confronting it”, the existence of the Preventor organization is undoubtedly a contradiction. Even Relena understood that at the end of last year.
It might be unavoidable for Dixneuf to call it a “false peace” but Relena wouldn’t be willing to completely deny the Preventors. Without the organization it would not have been possible to stop the uprising of the Mariamaia army. And it is also true that the Gundams made the people stand up and fulfill their “responsibility for winning peace.”
However, she felt sorry for the Preventors who are secretly working in the shade in this world full of light. If Dixneuf and his colleagues get their demands, the budget spent on the Preventors is given as a ransom and made known to the public. That would be enough to destroy this “peacekeeping system” of the Earth Sphere United Nation. With that in mind, the only way to avoid it may be to activate the program “Perfect Peace” and eliminate the war by oppressing it.
Nuclear explosions will be avoided, the hostages will be released and this beautiful Sanc Kingdom will be protected.
“But is that really okay?” She thought, believing she would be running away from the responsibility of achieving peace.
Another option is to stay silent until the time limit and be erased from the world along with the 200 hostages and the Sanc Kingdom. Respect for human life would be ignored but it is a way to entrust the aftermath to the Preventors and a baton-pass of the unsolved issue of “maintaining complete peace” to the next generation.
“But that too….”
She thought it was an easy conclusion. Thinking it over and over was just a strain, and it was not a convincing solution. In her swaying heart, this alternative was painful and difficult. Above all, these two options are completely different from the “peace” that Relena desires.
Sanc Kingdom Castle, 3rd floor Hostage Confinement Room – 07:55PM
Only female hostages were gathered in this room. Lady Une, the director of the Preventors, noticed that the compact mirror radio in her bag was vibrating.
“Does it finally work…?”
She turned and spoke to Dorothy Catalonia, who was sitting beside her, in a whisper.
“I’m sorry, but could you get their attention?”
“Of course,” Dorothy agreed with a smile, “Which should I try? “Girl fight”? “Venus Flytrap”? Or “Molester Fuss”?” 
“Just don’t involve the other hostages as much as possible”
“Then let’s go with the “speech”.”
Dorothy started walking towards the terrorists on the lookout, her appearance was dashing and brave as always. Two terrorists repositioned their machine guns.
“What? Don’t stand up! If you need to use the toilet, then everyone goes together!”
Dorothy lifted the corner of her mouth and screamed.
“Have you ever killed a woman? From what I’ve heard it’s pretty disgusting…. You can’t sleep anymore after doing so. After all, your kind mother would have raised you so that you wouldn’t do that.”
“Don’t be ridiculous!”
“We are so numerous too.”
Dorothy is behind the men and turns to the other hostages.
“Everyone, can you listen to me for a moment? I have a suggestion.”
“Stop, you! Do you really want to be killed!?!?” The men shouted.
But Dorothy ignored it and started the “speech”.
“Everyone, I want to free these two lords from such a hard labor. How about we all commit suicide, right here? Because there are no more lords on this Earth. Isn’t it a pity to put the burden on these men? Everyone jumps in and the machine guns go off. Should we try it?”
The hostages were stunned as they were listening to her words.
“Don’t anyone stand! If you move even a little, we will shoot and kill!”
The two men switched the machine gun from semi-auto to full-auto.
“Now, let’s all get along and be hit by the rain of bullets…. And let’s scatter beautifully! Let’s make this floor a sea of bright red blood and let God see it!”
Dorothy is ecstatic and glanced behind her.
“You guys can go home sooner, right? Your beloved family is waiting….”
“Unfortunately for you, I don’t have any children or family.” Said one man, returning the machine gun to semi-auto, aiming at the beautiful blonde.
Lady Une quietly closed the compact mirror. Dorothy caught sight of this and looked over her back and continued.
“Oh, you do want to shoot? If so, don’t worry. Should I haunt you for 100 or 200 years?”
It was then that the man put his finger on the trigger.
Lady Une stood up and applauded. The men pointed their guns at her.
“Wonderful…. Really wonderful.” She behaved elegantly and spoke with a neat voice.
“I was impressed with your speech, Miss Dorothy,” but she suddenly screamed in a harsh tone, “but think of the inconvenience to the others! Sit down!”
“Oh, that’s right. I wanted to talk more… sorry.” Dorothy said returning to her seat.
For a moment the two looked at each other.
“Do you still have something to do?”
“Oh, a lot…” Lady Une whispered to Dorothy, smiling with a reliable smile.
South City District, 1st Unit – 07:55PM
Trowa and Quatre climbed to the roof of a thirty-story skyscraper in the city where they installed a small anti-aircraft bazooka gun. From there they could overlook Sanc Kingdom Castle. About thirty minutes ago, the second unit of Wufei and Duo descended to the forest district on the north side. By this time, they should of passed through the forest and approached the back of Sanc Kingdom Castle.
“It’s almost time?”
“Yes… Trowa, could you take the liaison?”
“I don’t mind…”
Quatre handed the radio to Trowa.
“I not good with that person.”
The communication partner was Lady Une, the director of the Preventors, who pretended to be fixing her makeup with a compact mirror.
“As expected, Trowa Barton. What made it possible to use the “OZ line”?”
“The operation will start in 250 seconds… take action where you are too.”
“No, wait… Relena Darlian isn’t here right now. If you do something unreasonable, it could be dangerous for her.”
“Huh, as a Preventer she is much better behaved” Trowa thought, “Only the sly humans can survive on the battlefield… I thought Lady Une knew that.”
The two had a relationship as a superior and her subordinate back when they both were enrolled in OZ, but their language is no different.
“Leave Relena to me, you ask for another hostage to help.”
“Okay, let’s do something about it. What is the confluence point?”
“The location can be specified by this communication line…. You can move around without permission.”
“Understood.”
The compact was closed and communication was cut off.
“The VTOL Plane is coming.” Quatre reported to Trowa, looking through his binoculars.
Trowa silently threw the radio back to Quatre, held up the anti-aircraft bazooka gun in a snappy motion and took aim.
“Tell Heero, the mission has started.”
Saying that without intonation, he pulled the trigger. A shell was fired with a roaring sound. It was heading straight for the Preventor VTOL aircraft. A few seconds later, the shell hit the rear fuselage exactly as intended. A flash of light covered the surroundings and the roar of the explosion echoed. It was just like Trowa to use radical and flashy attacks whilst remaining expressionless.
Sanc Kingdom Sky/ VTOL Aircraft – 07:59PM-
Black smoke from the explosion was exhaled from the rear fuselage. The flight stability was also lost. While desperately holding down the control stick, Sally smiled and muttered.
“Yes, wonderful….”
Meanwhile, she shouted at the communication console that had only one line open at Sanc Kingdom Castle.
“This is Preventor Water! Epyon Del Telos, respond!!”
A man with a muffler and sunglasses appeared on the monitor.
“What happened?”
“I want to know the same thing! Why did you shoot!?!? Don’t you want the ransom!?”
“Wait, but!”
“If you can’t control your subordinates the negotiations will be broken! The vertical propulsion part has been damaged! We will make an emergency landing in 60 seconds!!! Keep the explosives in a safe place!”
She cut communications on the radio roughly, flew towards the sea with a margin of a maneuver, made a U-turn from there and turned to Sanc Kingdom Castle. All she had to do now was set it to auto-pilot and plunge into the outer wall. The calculation was to break the ramparts and crash land near the courtyard. Sally opened the hatch and parachuted down.
Sanc Kingdom Bay, Undersea – 08:00PM
Heero, who received a communication from Quatre, fired four torpedoes. Those that hit the rock wall, broke open the entrance to the cave canal, which had previously been brilliantly blocked. At this time, the Preventor VTOL aircraft will be rushing into the Sanc Kingdom Castle grounds and making a commotion.
Cancer rushed through without hesitation whilst the sand and rocks were still falling. Heero didn’t get lost at all in the narrow waterways.
“Wait, Relena….”
In his mind, was Relena’s face, which could not be erased even after repeated attempts to do so.
“……………..”
He was wondering if Relena’s face would still come to his mind anymore.
“Here, Red One Cancer… I have entered the cave waterway and will proceed to" where I need to!”
Sanc Kingdom Castle Backyard, Second Unit – 08:02PM
Duo and Wufei rotated the simple thruster device for descent like a helicopter and descended into the castle grounds. Two guard soldiers stood in the back but had been distracted by the sound of the explosion on the other side of the castle.
“Ah, nice and flashy…” Duo said, grinning at the light of the burning flames.
By this time, Quatre and Trowa should have started rushing from the front outer wall.
“We have to hurry here too.”
Wufei had already landed and used the thruster device like a Chinese martial arts “dragon” to stun the ground soldiers. The thruster device, which was not built as a weapon, had bent with just two shots.
“He always was such a radical guy…. That device is expensive!” Duo thought to himself.
“Hurry up!” Wufei said and stripped the camouflage uniforms off of the soldiers.
“Hey, hey…. it’s not my job to take off the bastard’s clothes.” Duo muttered.
They intend to impersonate the terrorists and infiltrate the castle.
“Is there eighteen more…” Wufei, who is always silent, muttered to himself.
“If you include Sally in the number of heads, it’s an assignment of three people per person… it’s an easy win.” Duo said, putting his arms through the sleeves of his camouflage uniform.
“Heh…”
“What are you so impressed with?”
“I didn’t think you could divide.”
“How did I get this guy as my partner…?” Duo sighed to himself, cursing his lack of luck.
Sanc Kingdom Castle, Underground Shelter – 08:15PM
Dixneuf couldn’t hide his frustration from the incoming reports.
“What is going on…”
He had to devote his personnel to extinguishing the fires of the burning aircraft. The two soldiers tasked with watching this room also had no choice but to be sent out.
“Miss Relena, it appears you have been abandoned by the Earth’s government.”
“Yes, I’m relieved.”
“?”
“Now you don’t have to step on the brakes.”
He was visibly confused by her answer.
“I don’t want to be protected in peace; I want to protect the peace we created!”
She suddenly lifted the old laptop overhead.
“That’s what it means to be a Peacecraft!”
She slammed the laptop onto the floor and the sounds of the internal parts being damaged could be heard.
“Stupid….” Dixneuf was stunned.
Seeing his opportunity, Deputy Chief Pagan attacked.
He hit Dixneuf and stole his pistol.
“Excuse me… Mr. Dixneuf, but I think you should reconsider your actions.” Pagan said in a calm tone, pointing the muzzle of the pistol.
Dixneuf raised his hands and stood up slowly.
“Heh… I let my guard down.”
He could still afford it, there was a small switch in his right palm that he lifted up.
“Epyon Del Telos, the next government, still has a nuclear bomb. If you attack me again, I’ll blow it up immediately. Do you think that only we are the only ones who will be affected?”
Pagan was confused and looked at the faces of Relena and Mareen. Both shook their heads.
“Come on now, give the pistol back.”
Obeying Dixneuf’s orders, Pagan offered the pistol. As soon as it was returned, Dixneuf pistol-whipped the face of the old butler, splattering Pagan’s blood, spit and a few front teeth.
Pagan passed out on the floor.
“Don’t feel bad… In my family, Neuenheim, humiliation is doubled on return.”
He picked up the old-fashioned laptop off the ground.
“What a terrible way to treat the cute little Sam.”
Contrary to his words, he stared sharply at Relena. However, she did not hesitate at all and glared sharply back. When he opened the computer, the monitor was pitch-black.
“It will take some time for it to recover.”
At that moment, an intercom from outside came in.
“Did something happen?”
Looking at the monitor, a terrorist stands at the door of the shelter.
“Oh, you finally came back…. Hey, are you armed properly?” Dixneuf asked the person outside.
“Of course.”
“Ok, come in.”
When the door opened, it was Heero Yuy dressed as a terrorist, standing there. Dixneuf immediately realized it was not a soldier that he had hired.
“Who are you…!!!
“Heero!!!” Relena shouted unintentionally.
“Don’t move…” Heero said to Dixneuf, pointing a machine gun.
“Shall I use the nuclear weapon?” Dixneuf snorted.
“Try it.”
He turned and looked toward the fallen Pagan and said coldly.
“I’m not as kind as that…”
He intended to ignore Quatre, who insists on respect for life.
“I’ll fight… more than anyone else in the universe.” Heero was still going to hold that strong and unwavering belief.
“More than you, Relena.” His voice was cold, but there was still kindness to it.
“No, Heero…. I can’t let you do that.” Relena said sadly, biting the word.
Tears spilled from her eyes. She didn’t forget that Heero once said – “I won’t kill anyone, anymore.” Naturally she has come to the understand depth of his words that followed, - “I don’t have to kill.”. It has the premise that “because it has become peaceful”. Now that peace is threatened by terrorists with nuclear weapons, the “murder” to stop them is justified.
However, it is still not enough to be reasonable. Murder is murder. In order to protect the majority of life and no matter what kind of murderer the tentative opponent is. Heero was a person who could accept such a resolution. Relena, however, still imagines the “indivisible guilt” that Heero will carry on his back.
She was hoping that “murder” will not be necessary. Heero silently put his hand on Relena’s shoulder and analyzed the scene, pointing the machine gun set to semi-auto at Dixneuf. Dixneuf held a nuclear bomb switch in his left hand and aimed a handgun at Heero with his right hand. On the desk next to him is an old-fashioned laptop with the broken AI “Sam”. Mareen put the still-fainted Pagan’s head on her lap and wiped the blood off his mouth.
Dixneuf spoke, staring at Heero’s face with a fearless gaze.
“I remember you Heero Yuy… I’ve met you once before.”
Sanc Kingdom Bay Sea – 08:20PM-
The water’s surface was covered with night fog. Even in April, the water temperature is quite low. After descending with a parachute, Sally used a lot of physical strength to swim and reach the Preventor operation command room of the luxury liner.
“I didn’t think Sanc Kingdom bay would be so cold.”
Of course, she wore a cold-resistant wetsuit, but it was still cold to the core of her bones.
“It seemed to have gotten dull before I know it.”
She was becoming aware of her age. She was also keenly aware of her weakness. She trembled as she entered the cabin and drank the warm, black coffee in the pot. It was something that she had made herself before the mission, but Sally was not good at this kind of thing.
“I wonder if I should think about retirement….” She muttered to herself after a deep sigh.
She has been fighting for more than three years on the battlefield from the Alliance, to the guerrilla army, to the Preventors but nothing has changed.
Years ago, Wufei had asked her – “Why are you still fighting even though you are weak?”
“Because I have a strong heart”-
At that time, she may have just wanted to offer her best encouragement to Wufei, who was in self-doubt. She was also aware of the contradiction, even more-so since she was once an army surgeon. On the battlefield she was the one who should save lives, but she often took lives instead. She had never once killed an attacking soldier to protect the sick or injured. Of course, it is possible that she did it to rescue the vulnerable.
However, is it ok for her to make the choice of “life that I, who is not god, saves” and “life that I take away”? There is no way that you can decide the superiority or inferiority of an equal precious life based on your own values and standards. Her mental burden from her antimony made her more tired than necessary. If she was tired, she could retire from the scene at the end of this incident. Even Sally, who is said to have the strongest spirit of any Preventor, hasn’t been so bearish these days.
“No, it is not the time to get lost in my thoughts.”
She started up her computer and learned of the inside the Sanc Kingdom Castle through approaching from the sky three times.
Information analysis was started. The location of the nuclear bomb was immediately determined through a radiation scan to be in the top floor of the western spire. The explosion of this nuclear bomb would immediately prevent the Nordic Spring from turning into a Nordic Summer in an instant.
At the same time, she investigates the situation around her. The exploration confirmed that a large transport aircraft of unknown affiliation was flying over the open sea of Sanc Kingdom Bay – The Baltic Sea.
“This aircraft, there’s no way…”
Sally was aware of the bad premonition that spread through her heart like a mist. At that time, the sea breeze was quiet and the fog on the surface of the water moved silently.
Sanc Kingdom Castle, Underground Shelter – 08:22PM-
Heero did not flinch or show surprise at all from Dixneuf’s words. Seeing Heero’s attitude, Dixneuf continued to speak without hesitation, even after seeing Heero’s response.
“That was the Summer of AC187, 10 years ago.”
Heero was infiltrating a medical facility in the L-1 colony sector at that time.
“You were with a man named Odin Lowe at the time. Of course, I didn’t have this face at the time, so you wouldn’t remember me.”
His blue eyes were full of sadness as he continued.
“My beloved Astoria died in that hospital. At that moment, I lost everything. Joy, hope, even human emotions…”
“……..”
“I vowed revenge. To the incompetent doctors of the Sanc Kingdom, the colony terrorists, and the people of the Khushrenada family.”
“……..”
“Nothing in this world has changed since then. Everything in the world is wrong. Corruption, vanity, pollution, negligence, jealousy. The vulgar thoughts of inferior human beings are widespread. Selfish behavior that does not care for others.”
“I’m rampant, I am desperate for this Earth, the worst “world”, that feels totally unbelievable and not worth living.”
“So……”
Heero broke his silence.
“Is that all you want to say?”
He shot the machine gun before he finished saying that. There was no hesitation to him. The one bullet shot through the blast switch on Dixneuf’s palm.
“I’m not bored enough to hear your playful words.”
He shot another shot at Dixneuf’s thighs.
“Keh!”
“It should be impossible for you to escape now.”
Dixneuf kneeled and sank on the spot.
Bomb switches that had been destroyed were scattered on the floor in front of him.
Heero pointed the muzzle at the back of his head and spoke coldly.
“It’s over…. Dixneuf.”
Dixneuf slowly raised his face but strangely, his expression wasn’t that of pain.
“Huh, that’s not the end… I can still take all hope from you.”
“Hope? I don’t have that.”
“You and I are the same.”
A silver precision machine was visible from the gun wound on the back of his left hand. His fingertips were converted into a high-speed articulated manipulator specializing in keyboard operations. As a man who shapes his face to start the Perfect Peace Program (P.P.P) and mechanizes his hands to improve work efficiency and Heero who received special training to become the ultimate weapon. It can be said that they are in a similar situation.
“--- It’s like a fragile glass work, such as the one you got. I’ll break it just as easily as my own.” *
Dixneuf had a fearless smile on his face.
The shelter door burst open. Two terrorists returning from the fire extinguishing, noticed the commotion inside and had tried to manually release it by external operation.
Heero, at his discretion, left Dixneuf and stood in front of Mareen.
“Relena, hide in the shadows!”
He fired his machine gun at the door as the terrorists were looking through the gap and returning fire. Heero continued to shoot his machine gun in a way that protected Mareen and Pagan. Had they not been there he would have focused on protecting Relena instead. Relena was separated from Heero, taking shelter under a console, deciding that she is safe there from the shooting.
For a moment the shooting had stopped as the terrorists switched to grenades. Heero ran and with a roundhouse kick, bounced the grenade towards the exit causing an explosion to go off outside. Smoke had started to fill the room where Heero and his friends were. He tried to capture Dixneuf’s movements in the corner of his field of vision but couldn’t do so. He had a bad feeling come over him.
“Relena!” Heero turned around and shouted.
At that time, he witnessed something parabolic being thrown into the console where Relena was hiding. At first, he wondered if a small animal like a ferret that glowed silver had jumped but he soon realized that it was Dixneuf’s mechanical left arm.
“Is it possible to remove it…?”
While thinking so, he shouted to Relena, “Run away!”, but he couldn’t make it in time. Dixneuf’s left arm flashed as soon as it hit the floor. With the sound of an explosion, innumerable small pieces of metal were scattered around it. The arm had contained a small explosive bullet. Heero hurried over to it, stunned to see the sight in front of him. Fine parts like needled were stuck around Relena’s body. Heero had lost his words. He had never seen Relena so deeply hurt.
“Heero, I’m sorry….”
“I’m the one who apologizes.” Heero apologized from the bottom of his heart, counting his mistakes, which was too much for one hand at this time. “I’m sorry, Relena”.
But even at such a time, Relena smiled.
“…. I’m glad… with this, I’m like you now.” She said as she closed her eyelids and lost consciousness.
Her white dress was dyed with fresh blood in the blink of an eye.
The machine guns of the terrorists blew fire, however, none of it was aimed. Perhaps it was a supportive shooting to secure an escape route for Dixneuf. After that, the silence came back. Heero had allowed him to escape. Given his speed, that leg of Dixneuf’s must have been mechanized as well. Heero’s heart sank. He had completely misjudged him.
Heero checks Relena’s pupils and her pulse on her neck, gives as much first aid as possible, and then switches on his communicator.
He had another regret while trying to contact the others.
“I don’t have too much medical knowledge….”
Although his skills can be used for “murder”, there are too few that can be used for “lifesaving”.
Neither Duo and Wufei or Quatre and Trowa responded. Both teams were in the process of carrying out the operation. Heero was clearly upset and cursed his incompetence. He couldn’t help thinking that he couldn’t do it. Mareen Darlian called out to Heero. She was behaving gracefully.
“Please, I’ll take your place… I have some medical experience….”
Heero gave up his place. There was a response from the communication device. It was Sally Po in the Preventor Command Room of the luxury liner. She was on her way to rescue the hostages.
“What’s wrong?”
“It’s an emergency… Relena has been critically injured.”
“Roger that! I’ll join you soon!”
“I’m going after the terrorist mastermind,” Heero told Mareen, who continued to provide first-aid by Relena’s side, “A fellow doctor will come soon.”
“There were a few near fatal injuries…. I think you did an appropriate first aid. After this, I’m sure it would be helpful to use the medical office in this castle.”
“Yes…”
He entrusted Relena too Mareen and immediately tried to follow Dixneuf. When he looked at the desk, he found that the old laptop was still there. For Dixneuf, this computer may be obsolete as long as the P.P.P boot program was destroyed as well as the mechanical hand to operate it. Heero glanced at it and continued running.
“I won’t forgive him…”
As the words say, Heero easily destroyed the most important thing to Heero.
“……I can’t forgive him.”
Heero Yuy kept running with all his thoughts.
Large Transport Aircraft over the Baltic Sea – 08:41PM –
The Neuenheim pilot, who received an emergency call from Dixneuf, rushed to the Sanc Kingdom. If the negotiations were successful as they should be, the terrorists would have escaped with this aircraft. The hangar was loaded with Mobile Doll Virgo 2’s, manufactured in “Vulcanus” in the Martian sphere. It was a plane specifically for Dixneuf, which he nicknamed Astoria. The people around him didn’t feel uncomfortable calling the Virgo carrier aircraft in the name of the goddess of which it came.
The aircraft is equipped with an automatic mode Mobile Doll System, but it also has a cockpit where pilots can board so it was possible to maneuver manually. And in the cockpit of Astoria, where Dixneuf will board, his attachment-type prosthesis and other spare parts were available.
Sanc Kingdom, West Spire – 08:48 PM-
In front of Duo’s eyes was a cylindrical nuclear bomb measuring 3 meters high and 1 meter in diameter. Looking through his endoscope he could see that the timing device was still working.
Remaining time – The digital display of “03:12:00” is counting down.
Perhaps when the blast switch that Dixneuf held was destroyed, the flip-flop circuit activated and started the timer.
“Moreover, I will carefully follow the vibration sensing detector.”
It was a troublesome thing that could explode as soon as anyone tries to move it. Duo had seen this type of bomb once before. Back in the Middle East, Oz had used a similar device.
Earlier, Duo along with Wufei, had urged eight terrorists who were previously tasked with watching the hostages to bring the containers holding the gold bullions into the shelter.
“If you detonate the nuclear bomb, even the gold will be contaminated! Carry them out now!”
The incitement was successful.
Duo had then caught sight of one of the terrorists heading underground and had found out where the nuclear bomb was hidden. Its location was consistent with where Sally had previously reported. He left the rescue of the hostages to Wufei and went to perform the bomb disposal alone.
Duo was the best member of the team to unlock the security on the bomb but even with his skills it was extremely difficult to release the timed device. All the wiring is concentrated at the bottom of the cylindrical bomb, and you have to get inside to stop the device. Therefore, there is a high risk of being exposed to a lethal dose of radiation, and it may explode with the slightest vibration. If he wore an astro suit, he may be able to work on it safely to some extent, but there is still the risk of vibrations setting it off. There is a high probability of failure.
The only other possible way to disarm it is to access the timed device from the inside, hack the internal computer, and then stop the blast from going off manually.
Duo shrugged.
“Only three hours left…. I wonder if I’ve drawn a poor lottery again.”
Sanc Kingdom Castle, 3rd floor hostage confinement room – 09:05 PM-
Dorothy took action as soon as the terrorists on guard had evacuated to underground. When Quatre and Trowa rushed in, she unlocked the doors one after another, freeing the people inside. All she had to do now was put everyone on the liner she had prepared and move away from the castle as soon as possible.
Lady Une and Wufei have already taken action at this point to lock all the terrorists in an underground shelter. Quatre called out to Dorothy, reuniting after her long absence.
“Hey, alright… you work fast.”
“You guys are late.”
Quatre was still tired of Dorothy’s sharp tongue.
“If I was in command, it would have been resolved the day the incident started.”
“Maybe”
“You’re too kind.”
Quatre wanted to change the subject.
“You said the same thing a year ago… the wounds at the time really hurt.” He laughed bitterly, rubbing his side.
Back at the Mobile Doll control room of the battleship Libra, Dorothy had pierced Quatre’s side with a fencing saber.
“Because of your kindness you probably set up a strategy with “respect for human life”, but that was the most wrong thing.”
“Is that so?”
“Strategy is most endangered by respect for human life. We were the just the hostages… the safest thing would be to focus on the terrorists. The priority of life ensures the opposite.”
“No, I can’t rank anyone’s life.”
“That’s why I’m saying that kindness is dangerous. Don’t make me say it over and over.”
“That’s enough.”
It was Trowa, breaking up the conversation.
“Now, Lady Une has contacted me. Apparently, there are three imminent situations….”
“Three?” Quatre replied.
Trowa continued, folding his finger.
“One is that Relena Darlian is in a critical condition.”
“Miss Relena!?!” Dorothy interrupted.
“Another is that the nuclear bomb timing device that Duo Maxwell is working on is unlikely to be released.”
“The third?”
“Heero Yuy, who went after Dixneuf Neuenheim, lost sight of the target. Lady Une is leaving the next decision up to you.”
Trowa had just finished briefing the situation before Quatre muttered.
“It’s all my fault.”
Biting the tip of his thumb, he thought of their next move.
“The heart of space. Dorothy you are right. If I hadn’t put out a policy of respecting human life Heero would surely have killed Dixneuf…. The mission failed because of me. I’ve hurt everyone.”
Dorothy snapped at Quatre without remorse.
“Yeah…. Your sins are heavy. Carry that cross on your back for the rest of your life.”
The words that came out of her mouth are sometimes severe and harsh, but in her voice there’s kindness and comfort.
“Yeah, I’ll do that.”
Quatre is superficially bright, but the depths of his heart are always plagued by an unyielding sense of atonement. No one can save him from that deep world of darkness, and he won’t allow anyone to help him. It has been going on endlessly since he was born.
Dorothy may have been the only one who understood that feeling. She was in a similar situation and had felt guilt over it all this time.
“Dorothy…. I would like you to guide everyone to the passenger ship moored at the port. Can you please do this for me?”
“Yes, well…okay.”
He went on to give detailed precautions about the evacuation route and notes on how to deal with possible unforeseen circumstances. Dorothy was impressed with Quatre, who made an accurate judgement even under these circumstances, even though his notes show uncertainties.
Quatre raised his head and gave out his instructions.
“I will return the overall command to the Director of the Preventors and go and assist Duo.”
“Is it possible to stop a nuclear explosion?” Trowa asked, looking at Quatre’s confident face.
“It’s a fifty-fifty, but somehow I’ll try.”
“Is it really okay?”
“Dorothy, I want you to leave Sanc Kingdom Bay as soon as possible. I can’t predict the extent of the potential damage.”
“…I understand.” She said, deciding to follow her instructions.
“Trowa, please join Wufei and cooperate with Heero. We will withdraw the policy to “respect human life”. I’m really sorry.”
“Don’t worry, Heero would have ignored such a policy from the beginning.”
“Thank you, Trowa…”
At that moment, a girl in a wheelchair who heard the name “Trowa”, could be heard calling out.
“Trowa? Trowa Barton?”
It was one of the hostages, Mariemaia. She no longer goes by “Khushrenada” and goes by her real name “Barton”.
“You are mistaken… I’m not your uncle.”
“I know.” Mariemaia laughed casually.
“But I am grateful that you named yourself “Barton”, because it helps me to have someone who uses the same family name as my mother.”
“Really…” Trowa had mixed feelings.
“Please continue to be Trowa Barton.”
He doesn’t care about the name, but he was inconvenienced by taking the name of a person who once lived.
“Unfortunately… I can’t do that.” Trowa shook his head.
“Why?”
“First, I don’t really like the name Trowa. Second, I hate the Barton foundation. And third, maybe I don’t need a name anymore.”
“Showing a slightly sad face, she muttered.
“Is that so?”
But she was convinced.
Sanc Kingdom Castle, 2nd floor medical room – 09:27 PM –
The surgery was difficult for Sally to perform. The sterility of the environment and surgical instruments were perfect and Mareen had solid skills as her assistant. A long time ago, the pacifist Sanc Kingdom was established as a medical nation. As a remnant of that, these medical facilities were particularly advanced.
However, Relena’s surgery was still extremely difficult. Of course, In this era medical technology has advanced so much that Relena’s life would be in safe hands, she still was originally in a state where she could have died.
Due to Sally’s dexterity, the task of removing the seemingly innumerable pieces of metal had already been completed, along with the treatment of the shock. Still, she couldn’t stop the internal bleeding in various parts of her body. For that treatment she had injected the latest emergency “medical nanomachines” but for some reason they weren’t working.
Initially, Sally and Mareen were unaware of the problem and treated Deputy Chief Pagan. His symptoms showed a mild concussion, so he was able to get treatment in a short time frame. He was put in recovery to rest.
When Sally and her colleagues returned to Relena’s operation and looked at the numbers in the Medical Data, they realized her condition wasn’t improving at all. The nanomachines, such as thrombolytic drugs to heal the damaged blood vessels and other cardiovascular systems, weren’t working and the cause was unknown.
It’s hard to believe they could be defective. Medical nanomachines are shipped with thorough quality control to prevent that from happening.
“Maybe…” said Mareen who was taking on the role of assistant, “Maybe the nanomachines that Sanc Kingdom originally developed in the past still remain in her body? If so, that may be the reason why the latest models won’t work….”
Sally immediately subjected Relena to a high-precision CT scan to find any old-fashioned medical nanomachines that may have remained in her body.
Relena was raised in the Peacecraft royal family until she was two years old. At that time, Mareen was a maid of Princess Katerina. After the collapse of Sanc Kingdom, Mareen raised Relena with Mr. Darlian.
Immediately, the nanomachine in question was found. It judged the newly injected nanomachine to be a foreign substance and eradicated it.
“I now know the cause, but I can’t extract this old-fashioned nanomachine with the equipment here.” Sally sighed deeply, looking around at the medical equipment around her.
“I wonder if all the people of the Peacecraft royal family were using this nanomachine?”
“Maybe… I can’t say I know anyone else for sure, in addition to Relena, there is only her brother Milliardo who has left for Mars.”
“To treat her, we have to use something that synchronizes with this core Peacecraft nanomachine.”
“But it’s more than fifteen years old, so where could we find that? I don’t think there are any left.”
“Wait…”
They heard a voice from behind.
The voice came from Pagan who was lying in the bed at the back.
“…I was once on the battlefield as a lieutenant to Marticus when I was younger…”
“No, you are supposed to rest.” Mareen interrupted but Pagan continued to speak.
“At the time I was in a tank, but I was seriously injured by enemy bombing... so.”
Sally thought about his words then asked.
“At the time you received nanomachine treatment at Sanc Kingdom! Right?”
“Yes…”
The nanomachines inside Pagan’s body will be extracted and diverted to Relena’s treatment. If it is a nanomachine that is not the core, it will not take much time to extract it. This will save Relena. Sally has always been an atheist, but at this time she wanted to thank God.
Large Transport Aircraft over Sanc Kingdom Bay – 09:42 PM
The pilot dropped the Virgo 3. As no one is in the cockpit, its parachute opened by automatic control and descended whilst accelerating. The place that Dixneuf had designated for them to go was a coastal area located in the southwestern part of the city. All they had to do was continue to descend and wait for contact from Dixneuf. The reason for the descent is to re-recover Virgo 3, after recovery they can leave the Baltic Sea within an hour. It would be an easy evacuation from the potential nuclear explosion. It was to be a simple task, but the pilot was interrupted at the last minute by an anti-aircraft missile hitting the engine of the transport aircraft causing it to stall.
Trowa Barton, South City District – 09:45 PM –
It was Trowa who had launched the anti-aircraft missile from the roof of a thirty-story skyscraper. He picked up his communicator and reported without giving his name.
“I confirmed and shot down the escape transport plane.”
“Understood, thank you for the hard work.” Lady Une, Director of the Preventors, responded.
“Tell Heero… The transport plane dropped “Virgo 3” on the western coast.”
“There is no doubt that the target Dixneuf is headed there.” Lady Une laughed at ease.
“Oh…” Trowa muttered and turned off the communicator.
Chang Wufei, South West Coast – 09:47 PM –
Wufei was watching with a night-vision scope upon an extremely high cliff. Through the scope, he saw Dixneuf and two armed terrorists coming out from the depths of the forest. Their destination was towards a huge, spread-out parachute and a Virgo lying on its back.
“I’ll go capture the target… I see, he looks just like Zechs Merquise.” Wufei reported to Lady Une.
“Don’t say that… I’d probably end up hating the “Preventer Wind”.”
“Hmm, I guess…. I’ll go carry out my mission.”
After cutting off communication, he jumped and skated on the slope to the bottom of the cliff in a well-balanced manner. Using the protruding rocky mountain as a steppingstone, he flew high into the sky and dashingly landed on the Virgo suit.
“Well, you guys… welcome.” Wufei folded his arms and grinned.
Dixneuf and his colleagues couldn’t hide their shock at the sudden appearance of Wufei.
The two escorts shot their machine guns. However, Wufei quickly dodged the barrage and swiftly flew through the air, then barrel-kicked the machine guns of the two terrorists, unarming them by surprise. He was completely unbeatable in close-range combat. He approached at a close distance and attacked the opponents key pressure points in quick succession, causing instant fainting. It was one of the martial arts skills that Wufei, who had mastered martial arts, was exceedingly good at.
The two men were supposed to have received considerable training by they were no match for Wufei.
“Don’t waste your energy resisting… surrender.” Wufei said calmly before turning around.
He seemed to notice Dixneuf standing behind him and stood there silently. Normally, it would have been easy for Wufei to defeat this one-armed man.
“……….”
A long silence dominated the area.
The brightest star “Spica” in the Virgo constellation was shining in the Spring night sky.
“….Astoria….”, Dixneuf whispered the name of the goddess of which the Virgo constellation came from.
The engine sounds of a machine starting up echoed. The Mobile Doll “Virgo” lying behind Wufei had started to move, slowly trying to rise its giant body up. Wufei was shocked, for a moment, he had wondered if a pilot had already boarded. It soon became clear that it was an incorrect guess.
Glaring at Dixneuf, he believed that he was using the Mobile Doll’s remote autopilot system to activate it. He decides then to ignore Virgo and instead attack the man who is controlling it remotely.
Wufei jumped quickly and attempted to hit him with a sharp kick, but Dixneuf dodged the attack with an incredible leap. He then disappeared into the darkness of the forest spreading from the front of the cliff and out to the sea. The series of his movements and the quickness of his responses far exceeded that of any ordinary person.
“It’s not just a prosthesis…. It is no way on that level.” Wufei reported to his correspondent, Lady Une. “It looks like he’s using the Jupiter-class poor environment Astro Cybernetics.”
“Yes… It seems it will be difficult to catch him alive.” Lady Une responded. “It’s proving to be difficult to release the nuclear device… I wanted to capture him and have him cooperate if possible.”
“He’s too dangerous… There is no choice but to kill him.” Wufei was cold and gave up on the value of Dixneuf’s life. “It’s not like he’s going to die even if I do kill him.”
Wufei didn’t immediately give chase. When someone with cybernetics is the opponent, it is guaranteed that that they will escape even if you do chase after them. He decided to steal a machine gun and other weapons from the soldiers he defeated earlier and wait with the rising Virgo. There was no doubt that Dixneuf would return for the Virgo no matter where he had escaped to.
There wasn’t much of an interval. Mobile Doll Virgo started walking through remote control by Dixneuf. Wufei continued to report back while walking in parallel with it.
“Virgo 3, on the back is standard equipment for defense and a beam rifle. Equipped with O-type high mobility thrusters, other weapons such as beam cannon and mega beam cannon are not found, it looks like it’s just for escape… but I can’t destroy this aircraft with my current weapons.”
“I understand… I’ll leave the rest up to you.” Lady Une was also surprisingly calm. “Focus on the search. End of communication.”
Wufei turned off the radio.
“The only way to settle this is to defeat him before he gets into the Virgo.”
With that in mind, Wufei was looking for signs in the dark forest. Disxeuf’s tracks were well covered up. Even Wufei, who’s eyes have become accustomed to the darkness, still had no idea where Disxeuf was lurking.
“If he’s so thorough, I can also assume that he’s remodeled his eyes into a night-vision scope.”
Virgo was still on the move.
“Even so, his speed is too fast.”
Wufei felt frustrated. He doubted himself and felt that he might have forgotten something. It’s been months since he left the battlefield and thought that his intuition may be off.
Virgo stopped causing him to believe he may have misread Dixneuf’s range, he may still be lurking here. Wufei jumped into the surrounding trees and waited in a thick branch near the front of the Virgo’s cockpit. At the same time, he focused his senses on his surroundings.
At this point, there was no sign of Dixneuf yet. In the darkness around, he could feel the shaking of the trees, the movement of the leaves blown by the wind, the engine of Virgo and the footsteps of the small animals moving around. Wufei was aware of his own impatience.
“I’m making too many misjudgments.”
A dazzling flash of light was emitted from a few tens of meters in front of him. There was no sign of Dixneuf as a flash bullet suspended from a branch exploded.
“Gah!”
The glare emitted was painful to Wufei, who’s eyes were accustomed to the darkness.
He heard a mechanical noise coming from behind him. It was the sound of Virgo’s cockpit hatch opening. Wufei turned around with his eyes still closed and shot his machine gun. He was supposed to be aiming around the cockpit of Virgo but noticed that the sound of the bullets being bounced off didn’t match. It seems that Dixneuf remotely controlled the movements and turned Virgo back.
When the flash subsided and Wufei’s eyes finally recovered, the high mobility option thruster began firing. He had no choice but to retreat and leave the area. There is no doubt that Dixneuf has already boarded the cockpit.
Dixneuf had made a big circle and turned back around. Before Wufei knew it, the ascended Virgo stopped in the air and shot it’s beam rifle at the forest. The forest burned up in an instant with Wufei evacuating from there by a margin.
“Tsk…”
He connected the communicator while looking at the direction of the Virgo flying off in the distance.
“I…Virgo headed southwest of Sanc Kingdom Bay.”
He believed he wasn’t the right person to settle this.
“This is Red One Cancer, roger that”
The voice was that of Heero and after saying that much, the communication was cut off.
At that time, Trowa appeared from the burning forest. He was carrying the two men defeated by Wufei on his shoulders.
“Don’t dwell on it, Wufei…..” Trowa said and handed one of the men to Wufei.
Wufei silently received the man and held him on his shoulder like Trowa.
“You have nothing to worry about,” Trowa continued.
“You don’t mean that….” There is no change in Wufei’s expression. “I just messed up.”
There was no regret, or shame on his face.
“If so, do you want to give chase?”
“No, the first thing to do is bring these men to the shelter.”
Sanc Kingdom Castle, West Spire – 09:55 PM –
Duo was on the edge of despair. It had been more than an hour since the work to release this cylindrical timed nuclear bomb had started but it was still in a state where he could not hack into the built-in computer.
There is no doubt that a built-in computer is installed to shut down the device. A special password that only Dixneuf can unlock may be set in case he fails to escape. Of course, shutting down the computer itself is not an option. Given the well-prepared traps so far, it was evident that the moment it was turned off, it would explode.
If the others brought Dixneuf here, he could have been asked to enter the password, but Duo has little hope of that happening. In the case of that man, there is a danger of him accelerating the explosion. It was a bomb that mirrored his madness and extraordinary obsession.
So far, Duo’s efforts had been futile. He removed the base of the blast switch, read its frequency and then synchronized his computer with the one built into the blast device. However, he was shocked to see the coding that appeared on the monitor. It was of a completely unknown character system and language, and there was no fixed rule in the coding of the characters.
In this state, it is not possible to set up a dummy program or a delay circuit to malfunction the timing device. He can’t even manually detour it. If he could at least release the vibration timing device, it would be possible to cut the wire connected to the fuse.
“Ah, I’m completely out of luck.”
He could only believe that the built-in computer consisted of its own program.
“Where did that Quatre guy go at a time like this?”
A few moments ago, Quatre rushed into the room and seemed to understand something as soon as he saw the coding on the monitor.
He left in a rush saying, “I’ll be back soon.”
Duo didn’t know exactly how long it had been since he left but he didn’t have time to stop.
“Ahh…” Duo sighed.
Quatre came back up the stairs.
“I’m sorry to have kept you waiting…. This took a while to procure.” Quatre was holding a small computer with satellite communication antennas on both sides. “How is it going?”
“It’s a mess, to my pride especially,” Duo said in a dry voice. “How much time is left? It’s a hassle for me to keep looking at the clock.”
“Don’t you have your own watch?”
“I hate being chased by time…. It seems I’ve left it somewhere.”
“Your watch?”
“No, my sense of time.”
Quatre laughed at Duo’s words.
“There’s about two hours left.”
Quatre handed the old laptop computer to Duo.
“Duo, are you able to repair this computer?”
“What’s this?”
“It seems that an AI called “Sam” has been programmed into it.”
“What can I do to fix this?” Saying that, he immediately he started disassembling it and checking for damaged parts. “It seems that only “Sam” has access to the computer built into blast device.”
Duo glanced at the unknown coding on the monitor and was surprised.
“Maybe this is what it says…” Quatre said, fixing up the satellite antenna. “Yes… I’m not sure everything is decipherable, but the ancient Scandinavian characters and the syllabaries used by the indigenous people of North America are both used. Both are also used in the high latitudes of the northern hemisphere. It’s a similarity they both have but besides that they have very little in common.
“Yes.” Duo sounded convinced but he didn’t quite understand what Quatre was saying.
“I’ll try all the possible keywords… I think that it is displayed in the data that came from “Sam”.”
“Can we read it? What other words are there?”
“Everything seems to be people’s names, “Jay Null”, “Thomas Quarante”, “Heero Yuy”, “Sabrina Peacecraft” and “Katrina Peacecraft” …...”
The only name Duo could recognize was “Heero Yuy” but he imagined it was referring to the leader of the colonies, not the Heero he knew.
“Everyone here is dead right?”
“No, this Jay Null should still be alive.”
“Hmm…”
“Do you think, it’s Doctor Jay?”
Duo was tired of hearing the names of the “gods of plague”.
“I have a bad feeling… …..”
“Let’s just try it. This is all my fault after all.”
“Are you carrying that heavy cross again? There’s nothing that you don’t care about.”
“Thank you, Duo… But I don’t have a cross on my back.”
“Oh really.”
“Yes, because my religion is different.”
Duo smiled unintentionally. He has hope when Quatre begins to lighten up.
“Okay, let’s just do it.”
Sanc Kingdom Bay, Heero Yuy – 10:02 PM
“Come on”
After Heero said that the radar responded and blipped with an electric sound. It was definitely the “Virgo 3” equipped with high mobility, that it was picking up.
“Target confirmed.”
Heero, in the underwater mass-produced mobile suit “Cancer”, was waiting for this moment. The propulsion at the rear of the craft continued to accelerate at maximum output. The white trail extending from the crimson craft cut the surface of the sea in half and continued on.
It’s too late to submerge even though it was more likely to be seen by the enemy, so it had to go at full speed over the sea. The farther away from the target, the lower the accuracy of the hit. He had already predicted the movements of Dixneuf’s Virgo on the simulated monitor and have already assumed the points to encounter him and fight.
Naturally, the two anti-aircraft tracking missiles mounted on the shoulders of the Cancer are set to destroy Gundaminium alloy. The time that an attack is possible is only a dozen seconds but it’s enough time to shoot it down.
If there was a potential problem, it was the Virgo’s defense system. If the two defenders are activated, the anti-aircraft missiles fired by the Cancer will be destroyed before they even hit. The other problem is if the Virgo detects the Cancer first and fires the beam rifle.
*
In Virgo’s cockpit, Dixneuf was aware of the presence of the Cancer. The crimson craft stands out even at night in the sea.
“Heero Yuy…”
The white trail that remains on the jet-black sea is rushing at an excessive speed. That alone eloquently shows that the Cancer pilot is exposing his fangs with hatred and hostility.
However, Dixneuf could afford this fight. There is too much difference in aircraft performance between Virgo and Cancer. The effectiveness of air vs sea was also taken into consideration.
“Do you believe you can win in such an irrational state of mind?”
Dixneuf, who has both paranoid madness and computational rationality, decides to launch the most effective first strike. He set the target by calculating the trajectory of the of the Cancer going straight and what point it would reach in a few seconds.
Virgo slowed down the high maneuverability option and shot it’s beam rifle.
*
The first wave of the beam hit the propulsion section of the Cancer.
“Tsk….”
Heero pushed down the control stick and further accelerated the Cancer.
“Endure it, Cancer.”
Originally, the theory was to slow down and change course, but Heero pushed the Cancer and released the limiter. It was an attempt to use up the last of its energy. The speed meter shook off the red zone and kept spinning to the point where the internal turbine burned out.
The flash of a second wave beam exploded just behind the Cancer causing a water column to go up behind it. Cancer was barely hesitant. Heero’s face did not show impatience however, his mind was not calm.
“If I lure Virgo into the sea, I can make sure to shoot it down with a torpedo attack.”
* Dixneuf couldn’t hide his surprise that the beam rifle had failed. He thought he could slow down the Cancer even if he couldn’t fully sink it. However, it is now pursuing at a speed that exceeds expectations.
Dixneuf was frustrated, he didn’t think it was possible for Cancer to pull something like that off.
“If I don’t do something… surely..”
On the contrary, he had a feeling that he could be shot down.
Again, he slowed down his high mobility options. The flight altitude will drop, but this will improve the accuracy of the next hit.
“If this is the case.”
He was convinced that this time it will hit. Virgo aimed accurately and fired a beam rifle in quick succession. The beamline was directed straight to the front, predicting the acceleration of the Cancer. Now the Cancer has no escape.
*
Looking at the oblique angle of the beam, Heero responded to the attack. Further acceleration was impossible in terms of aircraft performance. That said, he had no intention of slowing down.
“If I go straight at it, I can hit it, I just have to go straight.”
There was no hesitation in Heero at this time. He pressed the front torpedo launch switch and a torpedo rushed through the water’s surface.
Virgo’s beam hit the torpedo causing a big explosion to occur on the surface of the sea. Cancer rode on the huge waves that had risen in front of it and soared into the air. The now flying Cancer put the low-altitude Virgo within range of the missile. Heero pushed the launch switch of the two anti-aircraft tracking missiles.
*
Dixneuf was surprised by the emerging Cancer.
“That idiot!”
He witnessed the missile that was launched.
“This is impossible!”
He hurriedly took evasive action. He was trying to ascend by maximizing the thruster output of the high mobility option.
* “As expected.”
In the Cancer that was falling into the sea, Heero set the missile tracking function whist reading the ever-changing numbers on the monitor. The persistent missile was finely instructed at his fingertips, guided towards Virgo and relentlessly chased the target.
*
The missile hit Virgo and an explosion occurred with a flash of light. The vibration shock left Dixneuf unconscious. The location of the hit was the propulsion department of the high mobility option.
“…..Astoria.” Dixneuf muttered before fainting.
It was the keyword that started up the Mobile Doll system in Virgo. Virgo had stalled, however, in Astoria mode purged the high maneuverability option before reaching sea level and activated two defenders. They generated a strong electromagnetic field and could float, albeit at a low position, when used in combination with the aircraft’s original propulsion system.
*
Heero saw Virgo’s actions on the monitor and Cancer dived into the sea.
“It was a good decision.”
He evaluated the situation calmly
“But it was a fatal mistake.”
Approaching Virgo from the surface of the sea, Heero used the “pincers”, the front torpedo launcher that is characteristic of Cancer, to pull the defender shield into the sea. The electromagnetic field sparked violently and lost its effectiveness.
Virgo sank into the sea causing the beam rifle to be useless as it cannot be used underwater. Cancer’s attack power in the sea is unrivalled. Heero continued the torpedo attack while toying with Virgo.
The only way to break the Gundaminium alloy armor is to attack the same point multiple times in a row to encourage an internal explosion. However, Virgo in Astoria mode was not unresisting. There was only one missile left but Heero couldn’t make a decisive hit. On the other hand, Virgo’s stored homing missiles in its waist.
An explosion occurred when the storage hatch was about to open. It was caused by a detonator installed by Wufei back in the coastal forest. This was just a simple trap that was a mechanism made by attaching the explosives stolen from the two defeated terrorists to the hatch and have it activated as soon as it was opened.
However, it detonated the built-in missiles and ran a crack from inside Virgo through the entire body. Heero cursed Wufei who was so thorough.
“Too much fire power!”
Cancer shot the last torpedo, hitting the cockpit of Virgo and causing a big explosion. The wreckage sank to the bottom of the sea.
“Mission completed.”
Heero confirmed the status of the smashed Cancer.
“Cockpit lock failure, propulsion has stopped functioning… It is possible to ascend using a float, but it is impossible to move from this position…”
Sanc Kingdom Castle, West Spire – 10:55 PM
Duo had finished repairing the old laptop. The monitor remained cracked, but a Norwegian forest cat kitten appeared on the screen.
“Are you Sam?”
“Meow” Sam yelled.
Duo tried syncing Sam with his contactless computer immediately. High-speed calculations were started and the code that had no meaning before were translated at once. He then searched for something like “stop program” or “unlock password”. He searched desperately but couldn’t find anything.
“Hey Sam, can you tell me…Is there a password to unlock the blasting device?” Duo said half-jokingly.
Sam was silent for a while but then meowed and “YES” was displayed on the monitor.
Duo immediately leaped forward and asked again.
“What’s the password?”
Sam just screamed “meow, meow”, but no letters were displayed on the screen.
“Speak in a human language, not a cat language.” Duo asked.
But again, Sam only meowed.
“I know the keyword.” Said Quatre with a communicator in his hand.
“Really? But… What’s wrong?”
Quatre had a sad expression.
“I got in touch with the Doctor.” He turned his communication monitor towards Duo.
The face of Doctor J was on the screen.
“It’s been a long time, Duo Maxwell.”
“I didn’t want to have to see your face, though”
“Likewise… well, that’s okay, let me tell you the password first… “PEACECRAFTX2HEEROYUY”, that’s it.”
“How do you know that –“ Duo immediately tried to enter the password.
“Oh, I forgot to say that password is what activates “P.P.P” as soon as the blasting device is released.” Doctor J said in an ecstatic tone.
He continued his words in a calm manner.
“First, there will be no reaction when you enter it… the password can only be entered by a Peacecraft.”
“You should have told me that first!”
“Then I will talk step by step. Let’s see… Originally, the program “Sam” and “P.P.P” were created by an old friend of mine.”
Duo received an unusually long explanation from Doctor J of a summary of the prototype perfect piece program.
“……….”
In Summary:
Dreaming of eradicating the war, Thomas Quarante developed “P.P.P.P” a program that would kill millions of people involved if humanity started a war.
In the early stages, it was cyber-terrorism infiltrating Alliance military computers, but it was unfinished. Given the unclear boundaries of war and the difficulty of differentiating between civilians and soldiers in various situations, it was extremely dangerous for non-god humans to operate this program.
A few years later Quarante’s younger brother Quince, who found the data, tried to use it for colony independence. Knowing this in advance, leader Heero Yuy asked Doctor J to seal the program. Doctor J had set the password to be unlocked only by the Peacecraft family, who truly wish for peace, through constantly growing advanced security with quantum computers to prevent it from working.
That was years ago, AC 170. Originally, it should have disappeared over the years. However, Dixneuf Neuenheim, who attempted to use it, rewrote the program and created an obedience coercion system that responds to medical nanomachines. If this password is unlocked, of course the nuclear bomb can be prevented, but “P.P.P” will be activated, nanomachines around the world will be released and many people will be killed.
”… Do not activate the P.P.P for any reason. Also, as long as Relena Peacecraft is still unconscious, nothing can be done.”
Duo now understood the reason for Quatre’s melancholy face.
“What can we do?”
Doctor J shook his head.
“It can’t be helped… You’ll just die there.”
“Hey, wait a minute! Don’t joke about that!”
“Don’t worry, those that remain in the castle, including you, there’s not many people, right? All you have to do is escape to the underground shelter. Sanc Kingdom disappears, but there’s nothing that can be done about that.”
Quatre listened to his words and gave a short explanation.
“The passenger ship carrying the hostages can be taken out of Sanc Kingdom Bay within an hour. The evacuation of the city has already been completed so I think the damage will be minimal.”
“Don’t say that! Is it just limited to human life? What about nature? The environment? Ecosystems? Is secondary damage not a risk?”
“Yes, that’s right…. it’s a lot. But I can’t choose the future where mass slaughter awaits.”
“That’s right.”
It’s an indivisible decision but he had to agree with Quatre.
“……We lost, again.”
Duo, who didn’t want to give up until the very end, was prepared to accept this choice.
He was used to it, but - He didn’t want to accept it. The defeat was too painful to swallow.
“Sanc Kingdom…. It was a good country.”
There was a contact from Sally informing them that Relena had regained consciousness. She had just had surgery, but she seemed to have begged to find out the current situation. Quatre and Duo brought her up to date and presented to her the last resort left as told by Doctor J.
Curiously Relena was listening without being upset. When they finished talking, she slowly raised her head, and her resolute eyes could be seen.
“What about Heero? Where is he now?” the tiredness in her voice could be heard.
Quatre replied to her with pain in his voice.
“According to the report, after defeating Dixneuf, he is still at sea in the Cancer… It seems the propulsion device has been destroyed and he can’t move.”
“Of course, someone is heading there for rescue?”
“No, there are currently no air-crafts or boats available.”
“What is the impact zone of the nuclear explosion? Will the sea where Heero is be safe?”
Quatre could not answer the question. He couldn’t say such sad words with the pain in his chest.
Duo answered instead of Quatre.
“He’s in the bay of the Sanc Kingdom and the cockpit hatch is out of order. I’m sorry, but… there’s no way to help him.”
Relena heard that and seemed as if she was making a decision.
“Is that so…”
After a while of silence, she told everyone to come to her room.
Sanc Kingdom Castle – 2nd Floor Medical Room – 11:27 PM
Relena stretched her back and spoke nobly.
“Doctor J, when you visited my house before, you said that “The Little Prince” was completed…”
Doctor J, on a communication monitor, answered the question with a sense of depth.
“…Yes, Unit 2’s “Sleeping Beauty” will also be completed soon.”
“If you use it, can you prevent the activation of “P.P.P” for more than a hundred years?”
“I think it’s fifty-fifty.”
Doctor J was thinking with his arms folded but he grinned.
“But it’s not a bad idea. If the nanomachines are linked to the young lady’s body, there is a possibility of a future.”
“Then… Please give me Sam. I will enter the password.”
It may have been a bitter choice, but Relena wasn’t hesitant and could not be talked out of it. Neither Duo or Quatre could change her mind and had no choice but to obey her words.
There was an old-fashioned laptop in front of Relena.
“I’m Relena Peacecraft.”
She gently stroked the computer.
“Sam…. Thank you.”
“Meow” Sam’s cry sounded sad.
At that time, another line of communication came in using the OZ line. Heero’s face was shown on the monitor, full of regret. The cold sea breeze was shaking his hair.
“Stop, Relena…”
It was unusual for him to speak so loudly.
“Don’t go back to Peacecraft!”
“No, Heero….” Relena’s voice never broke, “This is the only way you can survive.”
“Relena, don’t worry about me….. Life is cheap. Especially mine.”
Before he could continue, Relena interrupted him.
“Heero, that’s not the case... You should live a little more of your life.”
Heero remained silent.
“You haven’t lived your life to the fullest yet.”
He could not deny that.
“Please live more… Please show me the moment when your soul shines brightly.”
“Is this my mission?” Heero managed to spit out the words in a choppy manner.
“No, it’s my wish.”
After saying that, Relena turned off the monitor communication.
“I won’t say goodbye, I’m sure I’ll see you again.”
Relena touched the keyboard with her thin fingertips and entered the password into Sam.
“PEACECRAFT X 2 HEERO YUY”
Thirty minutes before the explosion, the nuclear blast device was lifted. However, at the same time, “P.P.P” started.
*
The spring night in Sanc Kingdom was over. April 9th, AC 197 ended in tragedy. The subsequent whereabouts of the five former Gundam pilots, including Heero, are unknown.
At present, peace in the global sphere is still maintained. However, that peace was limited to the Earth’s sphere, and on Mars, far away, the gear named “History” was about to go astray. This can be determined from the report that the Preventor’s expedition, which explored the seabed of Sanc Kingdom, was unable to find the remains of Virgo 3.
-Addendum
When Relena Peacecraft entered the frozen hibernation capsule called “The Little Prince”, she never looked back. Her tears may have already been frozen. However, that teddy bear was held in her arms. It was an important memorable item that she had received from Heero -
~End Chapter~
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astrobei · 2 years ago
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Also any other fanfic writing tips? Do you have thoughts on chaptered fics vs longer one-shots? Do you ever struggle with characters feeling ooc?
I'm working my way up to finishing a couple WIPs and am very very nervous about posting them on ao3 😬😬
ooshdjsfh i think it’s funny when ppl ask me for writing advice bc i am a Mess but i will try my hardest to be helpful w this!
for the first bit, personally i’m a fan of oneshots, both writing and reading (there are exceptions for both ofc!!) just because i usually don’t have the attention span to write or read chaptered fics unless they’re finished and under 5 chapters ! but both of my chaptered fics are/were chaptered literally because i wrote too much to make it a oneshot without it feeling kind of clunky and awkward LOL i don’t usually write fics with big fleshed out plots anyway, and it’s more like a general storyline with a focus on individual scenes instead of the overarching plot, so i’ll write it all in one go! and i always write more than i think i will, so stories i plan to be like 10-15k ALWAYS end up at least 20k somehow 😭 personally i just rly appreciate when chaptered fics are consistent w uploading (as much as possible for the author) because it’s really hard for me to commit otherwise, which is why i don’t rly write them myself!!
and Oh My God anon,, i struggle CONSTANTLY w characters feelings ooc im always so concerned w my mike especially, since so much of s3 and 4 was more will pov and we didn’t get as much of an insight into mike’s internal struggles and thoughts like we did with will (the castle byers scene, van scene, jonathan talk, etc) so i’m always worried that the way i interpret him is not the same way that others might! and characters like lucas and dustin and max are easier since their povs in the show have stayed pretty consistent since their first appearances, and even will is easier for me to write (although i prefer mike which is pretty obvious maybe LOL) but mike Stresses Me Out a lot,, whew !!
if ur having trouble w that my advice (or at least what i do, take it w a grain of salt siskfjsjf) is think whether or not u could imagine this character saying that in the show. like, if this dialogue was added to a scene would it feel weird and out of place? do they usually use words like that? are there words used in the show specific to this character? (e.g: robin with “dingus”) i do take a lot of creative liberty w characters like mike and will especially when writing fluff fics, since so much of s4 and the end of s3 has been Sad and we haven’t gotten much humorous interaction from them, but i always try to ask myself if it’s true to their dynamic. like, mike would never ever pull off being suave and cool (except maybe in will’s unreliable narrator pov) because he gets flustered and is kind of an idiot and will is canonically a little bitchy and a little snarky and one of the only people who can put mike in his place so .
and thinking abt their motivations and Why they act/think the way they do: in byler’s case for example, will is selfless to a fault where he keeps putting other people before him, he’s so scared of his own needs making him selfish or a bad person that he often backpedals too far trying to amend that (s4!!) but he gets frustrated pretty easily (he’s the one that’s Started both of the infamous byler fights, the one that blows up first) and isn’t afraid to call mike out on things !! vs mike who tries really really hard, and has so much love for the people in his life but he’s inexperienced in it and doesn’t know how to show it in the way they want (saying ily to el, being a good friend to will) and a lot of his own inner monologue being fueled by the fear that the people in his life don’t need him anymore and yk . stuff like that . idk i just think abt these things a lot when i write!
anyways i am not qualified in the slightest to give any of this advice so FEEL FREE TO IGNORE THIS !! but anon if u ever end up publishing those wips (pls do) PLEASE don’t hesitate to drop me a link i’d love to check them out! posting fics can be rly scary but my advice would be to have as much fun with it as u can! play around w tropes and dialogue and writing styles and povs as much as u want. it can be easy to get caught up in writing what u think ppl want to read or thinking u Have to write smth bc someone asked for it but literally just write whatever u want (that’s like . not insane and awful for obvious reasons) and enjoy urself!!
hope this helped !! <3
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destieltaggedfic · 3 years ago
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Favourite Fics
Approximately 1 year and 1 month after I returned to reading destiel fics I have finally finished my way through the dean/cas tag on Ao3.  Does this mean I have read 100k+ fics?  Well no not exactly, with my filters on the tally is about 76k, plus even then I didn’t read every single fic because either something was in the tags that I didn’t want or that AU really wasn’t my wheelhouse, or maybe after reading 10 fics in a row about getting Cas back from the empty I just couldn’t do another one etc.  So this is my list of favourite fics, some of them have been my faves since I was reading stuff 8 years ago and some of them are new.  I’ve also added a little bit about why I love them.
Hands, From Which All Things Are Built – MajorEnglishEsquire   Ao3
Set S8.  With Cas on the run with the angel tablet, he one day reaches out to Dean via text message, over the next few weeks they exchange messages as they criss-cross the country separately, figuring out along the way how much they need each other.
Word Count: 15k                              No Sex
Goodbye Stranger was the first spn episode I ever watched so fics involving the events post and prior that episode have a special place in my heart.  And this is just lovely.
Not Part of the Plan ‘verse – Annie D   Ao3
AU.  Castiel is in The Republic for an arranged marriage to help relations between 2 countries.  On his last night of freedom before meeting his betrothed he goes out to lose his virginity in an act of rebellion.  He meets Dean who offers to take care of him.  Imagine the surprise the next day when meeting Sam Winchester his intended, that Cas already knows his brother!  When Sam runs away, his parents offer Dean instead for the marriage.  Once they are married, cue misunderstandings while getting to know each other all the while both of them insisting that its best to keep things impersonal.  Despite that they fall in love, such a shame that both their countries are using their marriage for political intrigue to try and start a war…
Word Count: 338k                            Graphic Sexual Acts
I had read other fics by this author and loved them, but I only intended on reading the first story about the one night stand, but got sucked in, and now this is pretty much my favourite spn fic.  It is so well written and the world building is fantastic, A lot of things go wrong between our couple in this story but at no point did I ever feel hopeless about it, even just thinking about this fic just makes me happy.
Balance And New Beginnings - Hekate1308   Ao3
Set S12.  When he finds out that Sam as well as Mary are working for BMoL, Dean says goodbye and walks away, going to hunt with Cas. Together with Crowley they start to develop a new way of hunting, which is only targeting the supernatural creatures who are causing harm and protecting the benign ones from the BMoL’s genocidal plans.
Word Count: 54k                              No Sex
This is such a satisfying story.  I have a special fondness for stories where Dean chooses to live his own life separate to Sam (this is not me being a Sam-hater it just feels healthy for Dean to let Sam be his own person) and the development through this is just wonderful and it’s a shame that cooperation between supernatural creatures and hunters wasn’t explored more in the actual show.  The fact that it is brought up repeatedly that Dean looks happy and healthy because he is content in his new mission is just icing on the cake.
Hello, hope you’re listening – insufficientemotionalfunds   Ao3
Set S8.  Dean prays to Castiel during each of the episodes leading up to Goodbye Stranger.  Each of the prayers is overheard by the significant OC of the episode although Dean doesn’t know he’s been overheard.  Also has a follow-up fic post Goodbye Stranger Glad to be with you.
Word Count: 14k                              No Sex
Again another fic (or pair of fics) surrounding Goodbye Stranger.  This is one of my favourite Destiel fics of all time.  In season 8 Dean praying was regarded as a pretty big deal from the “I prayed to you every night” to the prayer we saw from the Bunker and this fic plays into that.  
Our Bodies Possessed by Light - Obstinatrix   Ao3
Set S7.  After ingesting (and setting free) all the purgatory souls, Jimmy’s vessel is no longer strong enough to contain Cas.  Sam agrees to be a temporary fix for the angel. This of course raises some complications with developing feelings between Dean & Cas. (The sex doesn’t happen while Sam is the vessel)
Word Count: 40k                              Graphic Sexual Acts
This is pretty much the ultimate Dean-loves-Cas-not-his-vessel fic.  Sure they pick a really hard to time to have the “we want to be together” talk while Cas is bunking in Sam’s body, but as a fic that could easily verge into wincest areas it does really well to keep the squick to a minimum. Its also lovely that by the end Cas and Sam’s friendship is so solid.
Dating a Rock Star Series – Grimmlin   Ao3
AU.  Swiping through a dating app, religion professor Cas is surprised to see a profile for rock star Dean Winchester.  Despite not being a fan he marks it and is surprised a few days later when Dean messages him and they start dating.  At the time of posting, there is still more of this series coming.
Word Count: 114k                            Graphic Sexual Acts
I love Dean characterisations where he is openly affectionate, and this Dean is flat out adorable with how much he is into Cas right from the start. I was also delighted on my second read through when I paid attention to the song that Dean writes for Cas and realised it was Radio Company’s All Our Own which has now become a Destiel song to me.
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s11e17 · 3 years ago
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popping in to say i'm sorry to hear that and also your writing is so, so good. i get chills every time i read your work. got any excerpts or tidbits you'd like to share? anything you're especially proud of in past or current works?
wahh thank you so much anon! <3 <3
right now i'm kind of pleased over this little bit in the big bang fic - dean can't say "i love you" to cas, so instead, he asks him if he's ever been to the grand canyon.
Cas’s mouth tilts up sleepily, would be a smile if half of it wasn’t squashed against the pillow. He’d say it now, if he could, the thing that Cas deserves to hear, the thing Dean has never told anybody in his adult life.
Instead, he asks, “Have you ever been to the Grand Canyon?”
also i started writing this like 15k pwp (the plot is basically that dean and cas keep having sex in dreams, aka put up your dukes but not as good) but i feel like it'll be ages before i actually finish it so here are the first two scenes (mostly under the cut bc its like 1600 words lmao):
The few times Castiel has been put under by a djinn, he hasn’t felt particularly disturbed by it. Dean flinches when djinn are mentioned. Sam is deeply distressed when the possibility of unreality is discussed. But Castiel is not so committed to this distinction as the Winchesters are.
Yes, undoubtedly, there are things that are real, and things that are, well, unreal. He likes the prefix un-. It implies a sense of reversal; undoing. Something is real, and then made fiction. Fiction, of the Latin fingo: to make. To invent. To create.
Things are, or they are not. If they are not, then they’re nothing — unless they’re something, in which case, they are. So on and so forth. This is to say, a djinn dream must be as real as Dean’s smile: both created and natural at once. Nature, creation, it is. I am that I am. We are.
This must surely be why Castiel is satisfied with being, when it comes to his love for Dean. Isn’t it enough to create? To speak, and to therefore move from nothing to something? From unformed feeling to articulated truth, Castiel has heaved himself down to Earth from out of the sun more times than he can remember. Dean is his lodestone, and Castiel dreams of him often. It is enough.
Sam’s the one to ask him, in the end. Castiel supposes that makes sense. Dean’s always aimed his comfort at Castiel’s shoulders and his stomach, offering back pats and warm meals, as if even his hands can’t meet Castiel’s gaze.
Sam invites Castiel out to the roof of the bunker to look at the sunset, while Dean is out buying supplies for his tune-ups from the 24 hour mechanic shop he likes to visit when the usual customers aren’t around. Castiel knows this because Dean once told him, once said that he liked to go when the guys were just “shootin’ the shit,” so to speak, liked to roll up with Baby and have them look her over and tell him he’s done a good job. Castiel knows he likes the camaraderie of it, likes having men touch his shoulders and slap his ass the way men do, the way Castiel does not.
So Castiel and Sam are on the roof. “It’s beautiful,” Castiel says.
“It’s real,” Sam says, as if in reply.
“Yes,” Castiel agrees. “It’s that, too.”
Sam sighs. His cheek twitches, and he looks at Castiel. His body is so big— that’s what Castiel thinks, whenever he looks at Sam Winchester. So much goodness, in that broad and wiry body— how could anyone beat him down? Castiel’s heart clenches with love for his brother, because that’s what Sam is to him. “You know— you know this is real, right?” Sam asks. “You know it’s not— you’re not— you’re not in the djinn— in the dream anymore.”
“I know.” Perhaps it’s some angelic power, which makes Castiel so certain of his place. “I know where I am.”
“Good. That’s good.” Sam sits back in his chair, then. “Do you— do you wanna talk about what you saw?”
It’s kind of Sam to phrase it that way. Dean would’ve asked him directly. He would’ve said, What did you see? And Castiel would’ve had to tell him.
Maybe that’s why he didn’t ask. In any case, Castiel says, “I’m happy to tell you if you’re curious.”
Sam huffs out a laugh. “Damn,” he says, “you’re well-adjusted.”
Castiel smiles, too. “I don’t have much to hide from you, Sam,” he says. And he thinks of Dean, who surely must know— who must feel the weight of Castiel’s desire every day. Dean sees how careful Castiel is. He sees Castiel’s hesitance to touch him, sees Castiel’s eyes shining when Dean makes dinner for him, and knows the depth of Castiel’s feeling. The depth of Castiel’s feeling drives Dean to the 24 hour mechanic shop whose men can give Dean what Castiel can’t.
But Dean comes home to Castiel, too.
“Okay,” Sam says, “sure. If you’re really okay with it, then yeah, I’d— I’d love to know what an angel dreams about.”
Castiel wonders how to say it. “We had a house,” Castiel starts, “me and Dean.”
It was a small house. Castiel remembers that vividly. It was tall enough to feel comfortable, but with only a single floor. Two bedrooms— their room, and a guest room. Roof access. It was the kind of house where you could bump shoulders with someone in the kitchen easily, the kind of house that built intimacy. Castiel remembers Dean standing in the back door with his coffee, face turned up to the sun, as he did every morning. He was so beautiful. He’d had a smile on his face, an easy and gentle smile. He’d taken a sip of his coffee, and said, glad we started shellin’ out for the good stuff, Cas, because he knew Castiel was behind him. After so long together, Dean could trust that Castiel would always want to watch him in the morning sunlight, freckles coming in across the bridge of his nose. Some days, Castiel would kiss his shoulder, and say, You are who I cherish most in my life. Do you know that? and every time, Dean would say, Yes, sweetheart. I know.
“We were so happy,” Castiel whispers. It’s all he can think to say. He looks at the sunset. Dean will come home in an hour with new parts for the ‘58 in the garage and a spring in his step, and Castiel will say, Welcome home, Dean, and Dean will say, Thanks, man. They will sleep in separate rooms. Dean has no need for the kind of love Castiel dreams of. Dean is already as happy as he will ever be. In his own way, in the way Dean has outlined with his words and his body, Dean has delineated what it is that he wants and what it is he finds unnecessary. Castiel is honored to fit almost entirely into what Dean wants. The only thing he wishes is that he could jettison the remains.
“Did you— did you know you were in a dream?”
“The whole time.”
“And you—” Sam cuts himself off. “Jesus. That’s— wow. Did it, uh… I mean, what did you feel?”
Castiel considers the question. “I think a better way to phrase it is that I knew it… I knew it wasn’t material. That what I was experiencing was a construction. But it’s not… that distinction isn’t meaningful to me, the way it likely is to humans.”
“No shit,” Sam barks, too aggressive to be a laugh. Castiel looks at him. He’s hunched over, knee wiggling. “It’s— it’s important to me to— to— to know what’s real. That means something to me. Being certain about what the truth is.”
“I understand.”
“But I can’t know,” Sam says, and he looks at Castiel. Half-chuckling still, he says, “I think about it every day, but I can’t know. And you do know, but you don’t care. How fucked is that?”
Castiel’s mouth twitches, but he isn’t happy. He knows Sam isn’t either. “I wish I could give you my certainty,” he says, and Sam looks away. “All I can say is that you are real. I see you. I sense you, in all ways.”
Sam nods. He breathes, deeply, and asks, “Do you miss it?”
Castiel doesn’t pretend to misunderstand. Does he miss his house with Dean, the warm sunlight through the bay windows, the way Dean’s hands would slide over Castiel’s thighs in the front of the Impala? “No,” he says, because he thinks also of Dean’s bunker kitchen chili, and his unfettered delight at cowboy movies. “No, I don’t think so. Once — you remember, with God — once Dean asked me what about all this was real.”
“Yeah. I had the same question.”
“I told him we are.”
Sam exhales. “Oh.”
“Maybe that’s why it doesn’t matter to me,” Castiel realizes. “I know that Dean and I are real, that our friendship is— is a truth which has shaped our paths, in all ways. Whether it’s a djinn dream or a material place, I know the truth.”
Sam nods, considers it. Eventually, he asks, “What made you wake up?”
“I tried the moment I first realized,” Castiel says. “And again, a few— what I perceived as a few weeks later. That was when you found me. The first time I was too weak to escape on my own, and the djinn captured me again.”
“Shit, Cas,” Sam breathes. “You— you— you did it twice?”
“I’ve killed more often for less,” Castiel says. “Killing myself was easy.”
Sam doesn’t ask. Perhaps they’ve all tallied each other’s body counts. Castiel wonders if Sam keeps a list of all the people Castiel has killed.
Instead, Sam says, “Well. Here’s a— okay. The distinction between dreams and real life doesn’t matter to you. I get that. My question is, is it right to say that the material world has— that it’s primary, I guess?”
It’s interesting, to attempt to apply dialectical materialism to an angel. But perhaps faithful to God’s original purpose. “You’ve seen Heaven,” Castiel says, working it out as he says it. “It’s nothing but memories. Consciousness. You’ve seen Hell, too.”
“Yeah.”
“The only way to describe these places is through metaphor. A hallway. A cage. Ripping, tearing. I think that tells us that Earth is where true creation happens. No matter what Chuck says or does, you create your own destiny. Here.”
“Shit.” Sam shakes his head. The sun has gone down; now, Sam and Castiel are accompanied by twilight mosquitoes, by stars coming in up above. “We make our own choices, huh.”
“We have to.” That’s perhaps what was wrong with the djinn dream, the reason why Castiel couldn’t stay there. It had nothing to do with whether it was real or not. It was about choice. That Dean in that back doorway of that sunlit house must have had no choice — because this Dean, his Dean, would’ve chosen otherwise.
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sleepyowlwrites · 3 years ago
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Sleepy's 2021 writing wrap-up accompanied by a little salt but mostly cheerful exhaustion
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this event was hosted by @ecwrenn thank you darling. I think I'm late but I only like being early to work. and this is not that.
I don't keep any kind of proper track of my word counts or progress, mostly because I don't really care - I know that I wrote this year and that's good enough for me, word counts are not a motivator - but also because I am disorganized and scramble around afterward of anything to clean stuff up.
here is a very general assessment of the writing that I did this year.
January - I wrote some poetry and meandered around in Youth Story (then temporarily titled Project: Black Rose) and Anxiety Story.
February - I existed, I think. it was around this time that I played (find the word) tag with Maybe Sorcery a lot. also somewhere in here I think we became soulmates but I'm not sure. that might've happened earlier.
March - I made a new wip intro for Anxiety Story (the title is Every Other Star is Silent) and promptly didn't work on it (the wip) for the rest of the year. this is fine. it's a heavy wip and I wasn't up for it. then I made a way-too-early-I-don't-know-what-I-was-thinking wip intro for Magick Story (the title is Spider Silk). I have worked on this wip but only in the worldbuilding department.
April - I did Camp Nano and wrote 21,079 words. it felt great. I tried to do the same in May.
May - I did not write 20K, 15K or even 10K. I started to suspect that I was experiencing some creative burnout. (not quite. I was, at the time, enjoying making doodle art of other writers' wip titles. that was fun and easy.) instead it turns out I was just having a WRITING BURNOUT and subsequently-
June - I didn't really do any writing until the very end of this month was I fell in love with a character and decided to write a study fic of him. and then I did that. after editing it's now at almost 8K. so that's cool.
July - finished that above fic, worked on Youth Story. at some point I made an intro that I worked very hard on. it's already not up-to-date so it's gone now, bye-bye. I have an informal one that works a lot better, and character intros! I worked on those in-
August - still loved that character so I wrote a sequel to my first fic, which is currently being slowly edited and sits at nearly 11K. the character intros were all created and gradually released in-
September - which was a funky month because my sister got married. this has nothing to do with my writing but it happened. by the way, I've been writing poetry all year. most of it is not up on tumblr, but I'll share almost anything in a find the word tag. seriously. I get a little crazy with those things.
October - it actually took me until this month to finish that sequel fic. by this time I have also created 200 wip title arts. also also I've been writing this ridiculously complicated crossover fic in my friend's dms and that makes it into find the word too. also also also I turned 28. hooray.
November - I was very busy at work and wrote poetry and did some tags and eventually realized that I would have to be on hiatus since I couldn't really write or post like I wanted to. oh right, at some point I decided I was finished with Youth Story draft 0. it's at like, 26K? I can't check right now because the docs are closed. I feel like my laptop just sneaky updated because why else would they be closed? unless a ghost did it.
December - I did almost zero writing because I worked overnights at work and just got more and more exhausted as the month went on. I wrote three? four? tiny flash fics and a tiny bit of poetry and then Christmas happened. and just finished happening, for me.
to sum up, I've written probably approximately 55K this year, which I believe is less than last year but whatever! I don't care. I wrote things, and they meant something to me, and also to some other (wonderful) people who said very nice things in tags and such and that's all I want, really. I just want to write things and enjoy it, and I did. so 2021 was not my favorite, but it had good in it. some of it I made by myself, some of it I shared with others, and some of it YOU - writeblr - gave to me. Thank You.
Love, Sleepy
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siarven · 4 years ago
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Hello everyone!
I managed to finish the fourth version of my main WIP about a week ago and would love to see what other people think! <3 So below there’s an intro, and a mini excerpt from the start of the story can be found under the cut <3
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DREAM’S SHADOW|
Book 1 in a series; Version 4.1
LENGTH | 132,166 words (according to scrivener)
GENRE | dark fantasy set in another world, hopepunk, creepy/horror elements, small scope that will transition into epic fantasy later on in the series
POV | first & third person limited, present tense
THEMES & TROPES | hopepunk, sibling dynamics, dysfunctional family, power of kindness & love, platonic love, queer characters, queer-embracing worldbuilding, mental & physical trauma, light & dark, secrets, tragedy, lies, betrayal, loss of innocence, holding on & letting go, cute creatures, (in)humanity, trees, religion & belief, growing up, monsters, dreams, nightmares.
CONTENT WARNINGS | angst, depression, anxiety, manipulation, terrible self-esteem/no self-worth/self-hatred, suicidal ideation, nyctophobia, panic attacks, nightmares, surreality/unreality, spiralling thoughts, body horror (esp eye related), scopophobia, blood, injury, violence, torture, character death (but it’s not what you think,,,)
SYNOPSIS |
When Ava and her parents arrive at the hospital, they find her older brother Ben in a deeply unnatural coma—and nobody can tell them what happened. Despite the magical abilities of the Asim Healers, there seems to be no way to save him. But then, why do they still keep him alive? As Ava slowly learns the magnitude of how terrible Ben’s situation (and impossible his future) truly are, she finds herself embroiled in a larger conflict, ready to hook its claws into her as well. And the one person she cares about most—who always had her back—is gone. So despite everything, there’s only really one choice. Find out how to save him and try anyways.
CHARACTERS |
AVA, 10. She/her/they/them. The Smol Angery Bean.  Animal (dragon :3) person, doesn’t get along with people most of the time. Basically got raised by Ben and thinks he can do no wrong.
BEN, 18. He/him. The Responsible One. Good in school, takes care of his dysfunctional family, keeps everything from falling apart. Everyone thinks he’s perfect. Is selfless to a fault. It’s a problem. No self-esteem.
ELINOR, 16. She/her. The Wayward Daughter. Got taken by the Asim as a child because of her inherent magic potential.
... and a few side characters <3
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SCHEDULE ETC. |
I don’t really have a schedule during which you’d have to read anything because I’m going to be working on other stuff for the next few months (and let’s face it, we’re all busy anyways). My current time frame is “within the next 4 months would be nice” :)
I’d give you the story in ~15k chunks so it’s not all at once, I can see what you think while you’re reading it, and it doesn’t become too much (and ofc you can stop at any time if you don’t end up vibing <3).
I have a list of questions or you can just tell me what you think as you read, I am not at the point of line edits, this is more "does everything make sense” and pacing-related. <3
If you’re interested, please shoot me a message/ an ask/ email me at [email protected] <33
I’ll also love you forever if you reblogged this post so it can reach more people <3
(Taglist & short excerpt below the cut)
EXCERPT |
He knows he is dreaming because he always does—and he can feel that she shouldn’t be part of this dream even before he sees her.
“Who are you?”
She’s sitting cross-legged on the ground, head tilted in a slightly unnerving fashion. A lazy smile lifts the corners of her mouth, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. 
“Yes, indeed… a good question. But what you should be asking yourself instead is this: why am I here?” She smiles. Her face is soft and round. Her eyes reflect the sky.
He does not dare look away, even as he swallows. “Then… why are you here?”
“Why, that is a good question!” She laughs. He shivers.
“I am here because it’s beginning, Dreamling. And you are the pivot. The chink.”
His heart-rate picks up at that. Her eyes are sharper now, and there’s something vicious in the way she’s staring at him, in the way her lips curl around that smile.
He turns away and hates himself for it. From the corner of his eye he can see her smile widening. The fear burns like ice in his veins.
It’s getting dark, the sky turning purple and pink and gold even though there’s no sun. A thousand small lights drift sleepily through the air, some close, some further away.
Somehow they make him sad.
“What does that mean?“ he asks, heart in his throat.
She doesn’t reply. Her smile turns cruel.
He shivers.
“Why?” he asks. “I don’t—I don’t...” He trails off when he meets her gaze. Her eyes seem larger than before.
He’s never been looked at like that.
“You don’t get a choice,” she tells him, all traces of playfulness gone from her voice.
“Your kind never does.”
DREAM’S SHADOW TAG LIST | (ask to be added/removed)
@wilde-writing | @thereisnothingwrongwithbeingmad | @authordai | @madmoonink  | @lynnafred | @prismalicht | @sincerestaffect | @romenna | @zekethegm | @hypnocutiegypsy | @random-stuff-thrown-into-a-pot | @els-writes | @randooooooooooom | @asttralhell | @followthatgoose | @kittensartswriting | @purpleshadows1989 | @raiswanson | @ettawritesnstudies | @writingwordsanddrawingpictures | @albatris | @semblanche​
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