#instead and now I have this all figured out in my head but also not really and its low key eating me up lmao
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she’s always a woman | max verstappen
an: this fic is a special birthday fic for my lovely friend anto!! happy birthday love!! hope you enjoy your special day <3 also let’s just pretend that lewis wasn’t battling max for the championship in 2021 instead it’s max and the reader
tw: jos mention and narcissistic mother
Max couldn’t really remember why your friendship ended. He was always there when you needed a shoulder to cry on, when you had a bad race and needed some support, etc. He was always there so when you stopped talking to him, he was confused and hurt.
KARTING DAYS
At the time, the boys you raced against hated being beat by a girl. It was humiliating! A girl was faster than them? No way! But when Max Verstappen saw how fast you were, he was amazed. You made it look so easy.
“How many trophies do you have now?” Seven year old Max asked you as you two shared a bag of gummy bears, your favorite snack.
“I haven’t counted. What about you?” You questioned.
“I haven’t counted either.” He replied.
It was a long day of practice and all Max wanted to do was spend time with you and eat gummy bears. He noticed how you only ate certain colors like red, blue, orange and yellow. He asked why only those colors and your response was that those colors were your favorites, all the other colors looked unappetizing.
Spending time with you was something Max loved about karting. Most of the boys you competed with would rather lose than hang out with a girl, but not Max. He liked being around you. And it seemed like you liked having Max around too so it made no sense to Max why you stopped talking to him.
As time went on, Jos Verstappen kept a close eye on you. He certainly didn’t want some girl distracting his son. He kept telling Max how much of a bad influence you were, but of course Max didn’t listen. Why would he? He liked you and you liked him.
Unlike Max, your mother’s words went to your head.
“He’s just like the other boys, sweetheart. When you least expect it, he’s going to leave you heartbroken.” Your mother told you one day after another successful win. She watched the way Max stood next to you on the podium and clapped for you.
“But he’s my friend.” You said lowly.
“What did I say about this sport? You are not here to make friends, they are not your friends and neither is he. He’s competition and if you want to keep winning then you need to keep away from that boy!”
The next time Max saw you, he was the heartbroken one. Every time he kept trying to get your attention, you ignored him and turned the other way.
Did I do something wrong? Maybe I forgot her birthday? No, it was a month ago and we ate chocolate cake together.
All day Max was wondering what he did to make you upset. He had even brought a tiny bag with only red, blue, orange and yellow gummy bears for you. He had spent an hour picking out your favorite gummy bears and now you weren’t talking to him. . .
Little Max Verstappen had his first heartbreak at the hands of his first love.
The next day he figured you would start talking to him, but it was like he didn’t even exist in your world. He was starting to lose hope.
“Good, now you won’t have any distractions.” Jos told him after Max mentioned how you had stopped talking to him.
“But she wasn’t!”
“She was.” Jos confirmed.
Max stayed quiet. He knew it was no use trying to argue with his father.
As you both grew up, Max was beside you at every podium even if you weren’t on speaking terms. He hoped that maybe one day you would speak to him. He also kept a plastic bag in his bag with your favorite gummy bears to share with you in case that day ever came.
2021 SEASON
Max was both nervous and excited for the last few races of the season. Both you and him were battling for the championship. It was like a dream come true for him, both of you in Formula 1 and now you’re both in the championship picture. He wouldn’t have it any other way. To Max, it would’ve been better if you could at least acknowledge him.
It was after the Brazilian Grand Prix when Max wanted to congratulate you on your win, but had to wait until you finished with your interviews. He was eager to talk to you.
The post-race interviews were a whirlwind, but the moment that caught your attention was when a reporter, eager for a headline, asked you about Max Verstappen.
“We've heard that you and Max were childhood friends. What’s the story there? You two seem to be fierce competitors now. Was there any friendship left between you, or is it all business these days?"
Your smile tightened. It was the last thing you wanted to discuss, but you were a professional, and you knew better than to let your personal life spill over into the press room. Your gaze flicked to the corner where Max was conducting his own interviews, but you quickly refocused on the question.
“Max and I... we were friends, sure," you said coolly, your voice steady but your tone sharp, almost as if you were trying to distance yourself from the memory. "But that was a long time ago. I don’t really have time for friendships anymore. Racing’s my focus. It always has been."
“But you were so close back then," the reporter pressed. "Is it hard to battle him for the title, given your history?"
You shrugged, trying to maintain your composure. "Racing's not about who you used to be friends with. It’s about who’s the best right now. And I’m focused on being the best."
“So, no hard feelings?" he asked, genuinely curious.
You didn’t miss a beat. "No time for feelings," you replied, your lips curling into a faint, almost imperceptible smile. "Just results."
After finishing all your interviews, you walked back to your driver’s room. All you wanted was to lay down and take a much needed nap, but the sweet voice of a Dutchman stopped you. It had been years since you heard Max say your name.
Before you could say anything, Max stood up abruptly and walked toward you, his stride purposeful. He reached out, grabbing your arm with a firm grip, pulling you into your room without a word.
“Let go of me, Max," you whispered, but your voice cracked.
“No," he said simply, his tone rough, but his eyes were soft—something in them that you hadn’t seen in years. "I’m not letting you walk away again."
Your heart skipped a beat. His eyes searched yours, that fierce intensity you remembered from your childhood still present, though now mixed with something else—pain, perhaps. The unspoken hurt you both carried for so long hung between you two.
“Max," you began, but he cut you off.
“Why did you stop talking to me?" His voice was quieter now, but the question hung in the air, sharp and urgent. “Everyday i asked myself ‘did I do something wrong? Did I say something that hurt her?’ What is is? Why?”
Your throat tightened. You took a shaky breath, your eyes lowering to the floor. "You were my competition," you muttered. "And my mother… she made it clear. She said you would take everything from me. That I needed to stop talking to you or I’d lose everything." Your chest constricted, and you felt a sudden wave of bitterness rise within you. "She said you were nothing more than a threat to my future, and I had to focus—focus on winning.” It pained you to even remember all the talks your mother had with you about Max.
Max stared at you for a moment, taking in your words. The silence that followed was thick, the air between them charged with everything unspoken. Then, slowly, he stepped closer.
“I never wanted to take anything from you." His eyes were filled with a quiet sincerity that made your stomach twist. "I never asked for this. I never asked for us to be enemies."
Your breath hitched as a knot formed in your chest. You stepped back, your hands trembling. "But that’s what she wanted. She wanted me to beat you, to prove I was better. To make sure you didn’t have what I could have." Your voice cracked, the words tumbling out in a flood of emotion you had long kept hidden. "I—"
Your words faltered as you felt the familiar sting of tears threatening to fall. You tried to hold them back, but the weight of it all—the pressure, the competition, the years of silence—was too much. You turned away, pressing your palms to your face, feeling the dam break inside you.
Max didn’t hesitate. He stepped forward, his arms enveloping you in an instant. You stiffened at first, surprised by the warmth and steadiness of his embrace. For a moment, you couldn’t breathe, couldn't think. But then, something inside you snapped, and you collapsed into him, your body shaking as the tears finally came.
Max didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to. He just held you, his hand gently rubbing your back, grounding you in the moment.
"I’m sorry," you whispered between sobs. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” You kept repeating.
His grip tightened ever so slightly, as if offering you the comfort and understanding you had been denied for so long. "You didn’t deserve any of that." You clung to him, unable to stop the flood of emotions that had been building for years.
Eventually, the tears slowed, and the sobs turned into shallow breaths. Max didn’t let go. He stayed, a quiet anchor, as if he would hold you for as long as you needed.
When you finally pulled back, your eyes were swollen, your makeup smudged, but you felt something lighter—something like relief, like a door you hadn’t realized was closed had finally opened.
“Does your dad know you’re here?” You wiped away the tears.
“I don’t really care about him right now,” Max responded. He took your hand and brought it up to his lips, pressing a kiss to the back of your hand. “You need me right now.”
“Max, I don’t want you to get in trouble. You need to leave.”
“I’m a grown man. He can’t tell me who I can and any talk to.” He said.
“Then . . . I don’t care what my mother says either,” You declared. “You know, she said we couldn’t talk anymore because you were my competition. That I shouldn’t get too close to you. She thought it would make me weak."
“Your mom never understood that... you’re not my competition. You never were. You were my best friend. And I . . . I miss that.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Max.”
QATAR
The camera lights flickered on, and the usual hum of the media circus surrounded Max Verstappen as he sat in front of the press. Another victory under his belt, but the atmosphere in the room felt different today—slightly more tense than usual. The 2021 season was in full swing, and the rivalry between Max and his childhood best friend and fellow F1 driver, had become one of the most talked-about stories of the year.
“Max, earlier this week, someone that you knew quite well was quoted saying, ‘No time for feelings, just results,’ when talking about your past friendship. Given the intensity of your current rivalry, how do you feel about that statement?”
He took a breath and leaned forward, his voice steady but laced with an undeniable undercurrent of emotion.
“she’s one of the most focused and driven people I know. I don’t think anyone truly understands what it’s like to be in her head—how much racing means to her. She’s an artist, in every sense of the word, when it comes to driving. She doesn’t do anything halfway.”
A brief silence fell over the room. Max seemed to weigh his next words carefully.
“We’ve both been through a lot over the years, and yeah . . . I get why she said what she did. This sport can make you say things you don’t always mean. It can make you choose things—like cutting ties with people who used to be your family, just so you can win. But trust me, it’s not easy for her. Or for me.”
His voice softened slightly, the edge of competition giving way to something more genuine—something rooted in your shared history.
“She’s not the kind of person to just forget about things or people. I know her better than anyone,” He continued. It was as if he could talk about you all day and never get bored. “As for the championship, yeah, It’s just the way it is. But that doesn’t change the fact that I respect her more than anyone. She’s a hell of a driver, and I know what she’s capable of.”
Max leaned back slightly, the cool exterior of the driver once again overtaking his emotions. He was a fighter. And this season, he wasn’t just fighting for the title.
ABU DHABI
It had been weeks since your last conversation with Max, but occasionally you would sneak glances at each other. Maybe even smile at him, which caused the media to wonder if your friendship had finally been restored.
The paddock was bustling with the usual pre-race energy—team members darting around, engineers checking telemetry, and drivers preparing for what would be a pivotal race. But Max Verstappen was not focused on the usual chaos. He was standing in front of your motorhome, his jaw clenched as he faced a woman who had been an obstacle in his life for far too long: you mother.
All he wanted to do before the race was to wish you good luck but he had one problem that came in the form of your mother.
“This is a pivotal moment for her career, Max. The championship is on the line. She needs to focus.” Your mother spoke.
Max’s eyes narrowed. “She doesn’t need you to tell her how to focus. She’s not a child anymore. She’s not your puppet.”
She smirked, her gaze calculating. “Oh, I know exactly how to handle her. You, on the other hand, have always been a distraction. Just like you were when you were kids. I told her back then that you were competition. And look where we are now—competing for the championship.”
Max took a step forward, his voice low but sharp. “You don’t get to control her anymore. She doesn’t deserve the way you treated her. She never did. She’s not some tool for you to use to further your own agenda. She’s a person. A damn good one, too.”
Your mother raised an eyebrow, her lips curling into a smug grin. “And now you think you have feelings for her? After all these years? You’re wasting your time, Max.
Max’s chest tightened, a sudden rush of frustration coursing through him. He had always felt something for you—something deep and complicated—but he hadn’t realized how much until he saw you again. How could he not? The way you made him laugh, the way you understood him in a way no one else did. The way your presence grounded him when the world felt chaotic.
“I’m not wasting my time,” Max snapped, his voice rising. He was no longer just angry; there was something more vulnerable beneath his words. “I... I care about her. More than you’ll ever understand. And I’m not going to just stand by and watch you tear her down again.”
Her eyes widened, the smugness on her face faltering for just a moment. She hadn’t expected that. But she quickly recovered, her icy demeanor back in place. “You think you can just waltz in and change everything, Max? You think she’s going to forget the way I’ve always looked out for her?”
Max’s pulse was racing now. “You’ve never looked out for her. You’ve held her back. You’ve made her feel like she couldn’t trust herself. Do you know how many times she’s questioned her worth because of you?”
Before your mother could reply, Max spoke again. “If you think for a second that I’m going to back off now, you’re wrong.”
Your mother glared at the Dutchman. “I’ve spent years in Formula 1, fighting for every ounce of respect, and now I’m fighting for her, too. And I’m not letting anyone—least of all you—tell me what I can or can’t feel about her.”
His words hung in the air between them, the weight of them settling in. He turned to leave, but paused at the door of your motorhome, looking back one last time.
“Tell her,” Max said, softer now, “Tell her I’ll be waiting at the finish line. I’ll always be waiting.”
Maybe your mother would pass on the message, maybe not. Either way, Max would still be waiting for you.
The roar of the crowd still echoes in the distance, but it’s muffled, almost surreal, as you stand behind the barriers, your helmet under your arm, heart still racing from the intensity of the race. The buzz of the paddock feels far away, and your body is heavy with exhaustion and disappointment. You finished second—close, but not close enough. Max had done it. He’d won the championship, after all the drama and all the battles that had led them to this final, decisive moment.
You lift your eyes and see him, standing by his car. Max, in his usual composed way, looking like he belongs there, like he's always belonged there, standing among the team and the media, all his focus, all his attention fixed on you. A smile tugs at the corner of his lips when he spots you, but it’s the way he’s standing, waiting, that hits you. Like he said he would.
You hesitate for a moment, thinking about your mother’s words, about everything that has always been said about Max—his arrogance, his rivalry, the fact that he’s always been competition. But this, here, this feels like something different. He’s not the enemy anymore. At least, not in the way they used to think of each other.
You take a breath, and then, almost instinctively, you walk toward him. As you step closer, you hear the whisper of her mother’s voice in the back of your mind, a warning you’ve heard so many times before. Stay focused. Don’t let him distract you. He’s your competition, not your friend.
But your steps don’t falter. You reach him, and when you do, you look up at him, your gaze soft, not the hardened competitive stare it once was. Max’s grin deepens, though it’s filled with something almost bittersweet.
“I heard you were waiting for me,” You said, the words slipping out before you can stop them. Your voice is steady, but there’s a touch of vulnerability in it, something you can’t quite mask.
Max’s eyes soften, and for a moment, it feels like time pauses. He looks at you as if he’s not seeing the driver, the fierce competitor, but the girl he used to know—the one he used to race against in karting, the one who once shared the same dream, the one who still, in some ways, understands him better than anyone else.
“I told you I would,” he replies quietly, his voice low and calm. “I wasn’t going anywhere.”
Your mind flashes back to the words he said to your mother, the promise he made—I’ll always be waiting.
“You won. Congratulations.”
Max’s expression doesn’t change, but there’s a certain warmth in the way he looks at you, a quiet understanding that goes beyond just racing. He takes a step closer, his voice a little softer now. “You’re better than you think. I have a feeling you’ll take it away from me next year.”
You shake your head, but there’s no bitterness in your gesture. “Next year,” you repeat. Your fingers press the edge of your helmet tighter, almost like you’re grounding herself in this moment. But there’s something else too—a sense of peace you haven’t felt in a long time. “Maybe. But I’m just glad you’re here.”
Max’s smile is genuine now. “I’ll always be here. Waiting for you to finally beat me.”
You laugh—a real laugh this time, one that’s not forced. “Maybe I’ll take you up on that one day,” you say, your voice a little lighter. “You should go with your team, I’m sure they’re waiting to drown you in champagne.”
Max chuckles, then steps forward. For a moment, it’s just the two of you, standing in the midst of the chaos, everything else fading into the background. You breathe in, realizing just how much this—this moment—matters more than the championship itself.
“So, Max, you’ve just won the title, but there’s a lot of talk about your competitor. She’s been called ‘too emotional’ in the past by some. What’s your take on how she handled this title fight?”
Max turns towards the reporter, a protective energy surging in him. He absolutely hated doing interviews, all he wanted to do was get back to you. “Well, for one, I think anyone who says she’s ‘too emotional’ is clearly not paying attention. She’s one of the most focused drivers out there. Honestly, anyone who thinks you can compete in this sport at the level we’ve been at, especially in the last few races, without being deeply passionate—well, they don’t understand what it takes.” He glances over at you, who’s trying to hide a smile while also looking frustrated with the question.
While you were a few feet away from him doing your own interview, you could hear Max. You tried hard to listen to the interview questions, but all you wanted to do was listen to what Max had to say.
“isn’t it a bit too much? The way she gets in her own head. She’s been—well, let’s just say, a bit of a perfectionist this season.”
Max shook his head, chuckling at the reporters words. “But, you know, that’s exactly why she’ll be winning a championship someday soon. I have no doubt about it, but I’m excited for the day she takes my championship away.”
Max could hear you burst into laughter at his words. His smile grew ten times bigger. “Seriously, though, she’s one of the most talented drivers I’ve ever known. she’ll steal the show when you least expect it. And maybe she’s a little bit hard to understand at times, but that’s exactly what makes her great.”
The reporter nodded. “Are you saying she’s like, uh, the Billy Joel song?” He asked confused.
Max grinned, clearly amused by the confusion. “She’s always a woman to me. Maybe I’m not the best person to explain it, but you get the idea.”
You chuckled once again as you heard Max. He really had a way with words.
“And one day, I’ll be watching her take the title with the same respect I have for her right now.”
That’s when you decide to step in after finishing your interview. “Maybe, Max. But for now, I think I'll let you have your moment. You’ve earned it.”
“We both did. I owe it all to you.”
#formula 1#f1 x reader#formula 1 imagine#f1 imagine#f1 x you#max verstappen x you#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen one shot#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen imagine#mv1 x reader#mv33 x reader#mv33#mv1 fic
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Not really sure what incongruous means so I'll look it up after but it does feel like as i get older life gets more complex theres more things i understand now that sure i knew about them before but not in great detail but it feels like I've become so fucking complex as a person that if i tried to explain what i actually think and feel it would just overwhelm a person so i try and section myself off into pieces and just use different parts of me with different situations or people and it may just be because ive spent most of my time these past 2 almost 3 years now alone with nothing to do but think and figure myself out that when im asked what i think about something slightly personal its kinda hard to say it just got lost in my head somewhere and that whatever i think will change at a moments notice like i can bring up memories of lots of things and remember nostalgic times but i spent so long thinking about why i feel a certain way or what makes me feel a certain way in order to try and get a better hold of myself that ive kinda forgotten alot of my past like so many memories that i made are just gone because remembering them made me feel a way i dont want to feel like i remember realizing the beginning of 6th grade that i had completely forgotten 5th grade and the reason why was because that time i had was so nice yet not at the same time my brain just frogot because it didn't want a reminder of how good yet not something can be like great teachers who for the first time ever actually seemed to care as far as i could tell class mates who were generally friendly and occasionally checked on me if i seemed off yet i felt so alone cause nobody there really seemed like a real friend like the friends i had before who even when we were in deep trouble wouldn't rat me out and would stick with me who genuinely cared and missed me if i was sick getting older and not having anyone to socialize with for really formative years off my life has made understand those really old dudes who are nice and always up to make friends but just seem extra lonely for some reason despite knowing so many people i guess technically being that alone did hurt me but i kinda learned that im just not alone ever when im outside theres always some squirrels birds or plants nearby that make it more lively its why ive grown so fond of certain forested spots they are always lively and it feels like hanging out with all my friends its also why i enjoy making things like with metal or wood stone or even writing and painting those things feel alive in a way same with music and having time to think so much has made me reflect and realize that no day is the same and even when something changes something else stays the same or gos back to how it was in a weird cycle like growing but remembering where you were growing older for me anyways is like gaining more skills and more knowledge not just on the stuff around me but on myself too obviously people change sometimes pretty quickly too but getting older makes you learn more about yourself which duh that how life works but still it feels weird to be aware of it at 17 when it feels like i should still be trying to figure out my favorite youtuber or something not contemplate who i am as a person and what makes me feel the way i do but its a good kind of weird and theres always more to learn and find so i still have plenty of room to learn more about myself still not being able to really fully let a person know you kinda sucks but to be fair that is a rather special thing its also nice being able to put into words why i feel a certain way so that i can actually explain myself instead of just going quiet cause i dont know myself that well still kinda funny to know your own problems but not be able to jusy fix them when you know its a very deep problem even when it seems surface level and damn i got kinda personal there woops also just noticed that im shaking so might be overwhelmed remembering 5th grade which is probably why i frogot it or at least thought i did
anybody else feel that being human is like being a long-time syndicated cartoon character watching the world get more complex while your own design stays the same until youre incongruous with the reality around you??
#Anyway im gonna see if i can calm down and mabye froget 5th grade again#not remembering stuff can hurt sometimes so dont try it i already fucked up learn fro. my mistakes
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How do yall make great art? Also, how do you get out of art and writers block?
I have been trapped in art and writers block for like- a few weeks.
First of all, thank you for liking my art and thank you for the support! It genuinely means so much to me!
As for how I make art? Just a lot of practice and patience, if I'm being honest. I've been drawing since I was a kid and never really stopped, so that helped me cultivate my skills to where they are now.
But for the next question, I'd like to preface it by saying writer's/art block is different for every person, so what works for me might not work for you. Normally, my writer's/art block stems from me being a perfectionist. If something's not going right, I tend to let that build in my head until everything I create doesn't reach the standard that I hold myself to, which is more often than not way too high. Which can lead to burnout.
Acknowledging the problem is my first step. Ultimately, for me, if the creativity isn't happening or I'm stressing myself out trying to draw or write when nothing's working right, I'm just going around in circles and that's not helping anyone. So to work to fix it, I have to take a step back. Anything that I've built up in my head, pieces that I want to perfect or stories that have a set goal in mind, are sent to the backburner for the moment.
I always try to take at least a day when I've reached the point where I can't create anymore. Sometimes, that works, sometimes it doesn't, but if it doesn't, my next step is to focus on creating works purely for me. My thoughts when I do these works aren't to think of the end and what will come of finishing the pieces, but instead on just creating for the sake of creating. This is when I do little doodles in a sketchbook or study a screenshot from a show and I focus entirely on not being perfect. I try to never go into these drawings with the intention of finishing and/or posting them, because that's putting expectation on a drawing that is meant to be relaxing.
The best thing I can do for myself when I'm hit with art block is to take away all outside influences and relax. Creativity is not something that can be forced, at least not for me, so I use these art block pieces to let loose where I usually hold myself to a rigid structure. And i go into each of them figuring that they are never going to see the light of day, so there's no reason to be ashamed by how they turn out.
In the off chance that nothing is working, sometimes I just stop creating for a while. It's maybe not the best course of action, but it gives me a fresh mind when I return to drawing/writing.
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so i randomly started fleshing out a pjo au i've had in my head for a while now where oceanus attempts to take back the sea or whatever
it would take place during percy's senior year of hs and features everyone in the seven (except for jason - in this au toa happened entirely during the school year and therefore jason died earlier) + reyna, nico, will, clarisse, malcolm, katie, the stolls, and one of my ocs who is one of percy's mortal friends from high school
also features a few other characters like drew tanaka and jake mason who aren't part of the prophecy, lester/apollo and meg will also likely make an appearance. and percy's siblings ofc since it's yk... about the ocean. tyson of course but triton and kymopoleia. there are a few others who will show up but some of them i want to be surprises (yk, if i ever write this, which is honestly pretty unlikely)
other random details:
piper & drew reconciliation
will, nico, and clarisse friendship
exploration of side characters like the stolls, katie gardner, and malcolm pace (ft malconnor and tratie bc i'm a weak man and cannot exclude them)
jake mason and drew tanaka are 1) best friends and 2) depressed as hell but hey, jake knows a lot!
ghosts. that's all i'll say
percy being the extremely op guy he is
percy, triton, and kymopoleia being siblings (the past two bullet points are definitely inspired by the fic fishing in alaska, which i totally recommend)
instead of caleo we have past (unrequited) valgrace. and probably queerplatonic caleo but i haven't decided
also past jake x michael bc out of everyone in the series jake mason is the one i like to make suffer most <3
might add on to this post as i figure out more
#pjo hoo toa#pjo#hoo#toa#percy jackson and the olympians#pjo au#still working on a title SO#for now we'll name it after the great prophecy of the story#which is#the prophecy of the sea#things for this au will go under that tag :)#now for characters#the seven pjo#clarisse la rue#nico di angelo#malcolm pace#connor stoll#travis stoll#katie gardner#will solace#reyna avila ramirez arellano#oc: lindsey parker#lindsey parker#jake mason#drew tanaka#triton#kymopoleia#tyson pjo#WOW that's a lot of tags ok#probably missed some people but whatever
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things that are hard to find: writing advice that isn't condescending.
#ambie.txt#I've been really thinking about this story in my head and wondering what caused me to get burned out from writing#and realising it's all the formal bits. planning an outline organising things into a timeline. I'm more of an impulse writer#and having to think about all those dry and formal things makes me quit before I even start#this is my autism but I hate having to stop and figure out all this before I write because that way I won't write at all#ever since I started free writing I discovered that I still love writing. I love it so much#but I hate doing all of the other things because they are not my special interest and they keep me from pursuing my special interest#it's just very hard to find writing advice that isn't condescending in this aspect#people stressing out you need an outline first are very common unfortunately#I'm more of a vibes no plot person and like to just discribe the vibes in vivid detail#before worrying about the plot too much. and yes in a story there had to be a plot#but if worrying about the plot and connecting all the scenes is killing my creativity#I want to just go from details first and bigger picture later#again. autism. also writing dialogue is the worst. idk how people talk. I don't understand body language etc etc#I have written some pretty good dialogue before so I know I'm capable. it just really sucks when I have to scrutinise everything#and think “would people say this? do they talk like that?” its draining#so I was thinking about writing dialogue separately. maybe write it as a script for a play#which is essentially just dialogue. and then match it with the scene descriptions I have written#like. I know I'm a good writer. I very good one. but the way I have been writing so far has burned me out#because it was too much focused on all the boring bits and not enough on the freedom and joy of just writing#which is why I love free writing. it allows me to focus on a few tiny details and then develop them into something bigger#also I hate writing on a computer so I got some notebooks so I can write on paper instead#it's where I'm most creative I've found#anyway this all just to say that I think following writing advice is not for me at least not now when I'm rediscovering my passion#and that I need to trust myself more and do things that make me happy#so um yeah. best writing advice is to just write and worry about it later
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one of my favorite parts of strategy games like chess and advance wars is that feeling when you haven't quite won yet but the enemy has no real options so it feels like you're just sloowly wrapping around them like a snake. when all your enemy has is their king and you've managed to turn 3 of your pawns into queens, and all you've gotta do is get in juust the right position, and in the meantime all they can do is squirm. god, that's such a wonderful feeling. nothing quite like it
#incidentally i don't like it when versions of chess insist on enforcing a stalemate rule#honestly to a certain extent i feel like if your enemy has nothing but a king and you've got more than one queen that should just be an#automatic win. like exodia except instead of the individual pieces being useless they're all the most powerful monster card in the game#i think the favorite card i had as a kid was my five headed dragon. thought that shit was so cool. 5000 in both attack and defense???#it seemed unbeatable to my little kid brain. also it was a dragon. of course i loved it#i never learned how to Actually play yugioh of course. just what rules my stupid kid reading comprehension could understand#im pretty sure a monster has to be in play for you to be able to sacrifice it. i didn't know that so i filled my deck with nothing but#really strong monsters and i'd just sacrifice some directly from my hand to summon what i wanted#i stole a lot of yugioh cards as a kid from target. i'm comfortable saying this online because the statute of limitations has absolutely ru#out by now. i looked it up.#i remember for the first time i stole a box set that had exodia. i remember on my way home so i could open it... i genuinely felt like ther#was something mystical in that box. something ancient. there was something really special about that to my kid brain#i'd later steal quite a few more because i got the bright idea to fill a deck with nothing but exodia cards. i figured i'd always have a#first draw win. took me until actually trying to play it that i realized i'd often just get 5 left arms which obviously wouldn't work#so i took that deck and added some actual monsters to “hold me off”. it was pretty much just a normal deck with too much space taken up by#essentially useless cards. i don't think i ever actually won by drawing exodia naturally. what a shame#side note but i still get a bit anxious every time i go to that target. i haven't in years and i can basically guarantee they wouldn't#recognize Grown Ass Adult me as “that kid who stole a lot of yugioh cards”. it's been almost a decade if memory serves#i've grown a lot since then. both physically and metaphorically#i digress
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talk to me about sarada in a sakuino and sasunaru world i beg
i mean. i'll be honest with you anon idk if she'd exist. there was a sns comic with her that had some light sakuino in the background but if i'm being fully honest i personally have like. zero interest in most of the next gen kids. i like chouchou, i don't mind himawari, and i'm indifferent at best to the rest of them.
also i haven't seen/read bort and probably never will. i've read fics that did things i liked with sarada but since i personally have no real interest in her there's not a lot for me to do.
if you have any ideas on it feel free to share them, but unfortunately i don't really have much
#naruto#naruto shippuden#bort#bordo#uchiha sarada#sns#sakuino#i don't dislike sarada i just. don't really care about her?#honestly i'd probably be more interested if karin really WAS her secret mom#actually i do have a mini au in my head where sakura and karin WERE dating and sasuke agreed to donate for their kid#bc he wanted another uchiha around even if he didn't feel up to being a parent#but it turned out sakura couldn't get pregnant so it had to be karin#but like two months before karin gave birth she and sakura broke up#and karin wasn't willing to be a single mom but sakura was#and none of the three wanted to explain this to naruto so now all three of them are lying to konoha#sasuke and sakura are legally married but only so sarada can be sasuke's heir (initially this was going to be karin)#but honestly that au isn't really about sarada either it's about sakukarin being disaster exes#and also sasuke trying to figure out how to share what he remembers of being an uchiha#and also how to handle a kid who thinks he's her second parent instead of her sperm donor#eventually the truth comes out and sarada comes to the conclusion that she has three parents#then she makes sakura and sasuke get divorced since she's already technically a bastard and it doesn't really change much
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i've long understood why representation is important but i don't think I actually felt for myself how important it can be until reading loveless and watching Isaac's journey in heartstopper this year... My best friend is ace, but we have very different opinions/feelings/experiences/whatever when it comes to this. I have known about the aro/ace spectrums for so long. And yet knowing and actually seeing/reading someone go through a similiar experience resonates with you unlike anything else.
#i don't like talking about my identity irl. i am not ashamed to say it now that i think i figured it out#but i still don't talk about it more. even with friends#i just... while i know talking about things helps.. i have always preffered to 'heal' and go through things more quietly#I seek support from friends but in the way that i want them to be with me and just spend time together and make me happy#they keep me as happy as possible so i can work on my shit quietly inside my head#and while this is usually helpful for me#there are often times when i hate myself for everything. my struggles. my identity. everything about me#but seeing characters go through these things#have the same thoughts#and yet they are not anything less because of it!!!! instead it is like a missing piece has been found#and i just... i know on a theoretical level that there is nothing wrong with me but i do need the actual reminder#and georgia and isaac are both similiar to me in some ways and the fact that i can relate to them outside of being aroace just makes#me feel all the more human. all the more valid#idk what i'm even talking about#it's just... i didn't realize how much i needed to see someone with my exact same thoughts in order to figure out that#there are so many other ppl like me. we might be unique but we ar also the same and so i am not alone in this#even when i'm quiet and lost in my head. i am not alone in this <3#aroace#heartstopper#loveless#sorry this is mostly a rant#as anything i have lately posted is
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(Friendly, exasperated ribbing) People pronounce "restaurant" as "restorant"?? As in "restore"?? Is that a thing??
#I keep saying it in my head#resTORant#RESTORANTT#nobody said anything in the notes????#look I KNOW different areas have different dialects#but it's taking all my willpower not to ask#how they pronounce ''hors d'oeuvres''#and ''rendezvous''#and that would be mean#this feels like the time I finally realised ''Looney Tunes'' is a pun#because ''tunes'' and ''toons'' aren't pronounced the same in my dialect#so the pun was never there#and also the day I figured out why so many people accidentally write ''make due'' instead of ''make do'' for the same reason#I spent SO LONG being like#''how the FUCK could you confuse ''make jew'' with ''make doo''?''#every now and then I discover little accent and dialect differences that blow my tiny little mind#Dusty talks
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i come up with ideas based on the most random things because wdym i just rambled on about fucking fingers and decided,,,, heh,,,,, yeah. this is a good idea. well i mean i do think it IS a good idea but also like in hindsight and out of context i do think its totally fucking stupid. angel92 ahh post 💀💀💀
anyways i was thinking about mtt and fingers and which ones they would lose as a result of being with eachother but then that also means that i'd have to give specific meanings to the fingers (ughhhh,,,,,) ok lets see. pointer finger would represent precision and clear vision because you literally use it to specifically gesture to things. middle finger is like ughh vulgarity and hatred because its the middle finger. the ring finger (heh! i already spoke about this one because of the myth that its connected to the heart and also holds wedding rings) represents love and the pinkie represent promise (PINKIE PROMISE!) and the thumb represents basic functioning and interpretations (because the thumb helps us literally hold things and also thumbs up and down shows your view on things)
i think if i just tack this idea onto the other post about ring fingers then it would be kinda unrealted + plus too long SO ITS GOING HERE. all the mtt are missing ring fingers because i said so. dust is missing an index finger because if the trio break up he's the only one that wouldnt have anywhere/one to go. also he'd struggle to smoke and i think that horror would always complain about him smoking so it'd be like horror's still kinda there warding him off from smoking even though he's not there anymore. horror would lose his middle finger because he'd probably be the most agressive against kist in mttpoly and now without them there he's kinda chilled out. but also the agression and spark isnt there and now he's stuck in plain old boring regular horrortale again which isnt all that fun,,,, even if dust an killer sucked fighting was a way to pass time. but horror would never admit that. and i think killer could lose a thumb (ill be fr im just running out of fingers to use here. next thing yk i'll start talking about TOES) and then he'd struggle to hold knives normally now. he literally can't hurt others the way he hurt horror and dust (but also that could also mean that killer just has to come up with more creative ways to main. or also his reduced actions could result in him causing less trouble and therefore having less threats. depends on if killer wants to be a bit more knife happy or just chil,,,,,, you KNOW i gotta go with the knife happy idea mtt NEVER get a break and if they do i immediately forget about it)
dude imagine them with all these missing fingers 💀💀💀 that shit would lookd SO weird
#triglycercule's on a BIT of a roll coming up with ideas#i dont particularly know why tbh i guess i've just gotten over this slump of not having ideas#i already have 3 other decent ISH ideas in my notes app i should probably figure thst out#and then of course i have my ever growing pile of drafts on here#i cleared some of them out so now i have 40~ but thats still a SHITTON of ideas ive yet to post#on the other post ive yet to post i got too fucking into the idea#like WDYM the mtt would all just COINCIDENTALLY lose their ring fingers#its a cool idea tho..... just seems a bit unfeasible to me but whatever everything is impossible snyways#i have summer homework due on tuesday ive yet to do i should REALLY probably do that#and a test im 90% sure im gonna BOMB on monday. its the EIGHTH DAY OF FUCKING SCHOOL AND A TEST#i havent even gotten used to doing HOMEWORK again and my bitchass math techer is giving us a TEST.... smh old people#anyways mtt have 2 hands all so they can beat eachother up#polyamory solves everything but the solution isn't all much healthier than if the trio just fucking stayed ALONE 😭😭😭😭#ugh i need them all to kill eachother SERIOUSLY and then they feel bad but also satisfied about it but also bad but also#what would that feeling be like as a word. what word would that be (asks killer because he doesnt know shit about emotions$#they are NOT doomed by the narrative but ALSO NOT soulmates in every universe (debatable in my head)#but instead they were never meant to be together and because they were never meant to be together they simply dont work#but just having that constant even if it hurts and you hate it and everything it stands for when you've had nothing that understands you#is just kinda like. damn. okay i might stay like this for a while#they are not doomed by the narrative they are doomed by each other#gawwwdddd i love mtt so much..... mttpoly..... they were mesnt to be#but didn't you just say they weren't??? ok MAYBE but its because theyre all such terrible fits thst they were meant to be#they all match eachother's freaks in a way that no other utmv character can. mtt gets mtt#the mtt have so many parallels i really should make a graph or something#they all have scary faces!!!! kinda. killer with the chara scary face#horror with his black drooly pissed face and i guess dust's shadowed out face could be scary#but i think that face would be scarier if there were realistic human eyes peeking out but wtvr#anyways all have scary face what else. theres so much more its not even funny they seriously are meant to be together#if always together in fandom art and writing and other depictions then why not poly??? why not TOGETHER together??? why mtt seperate???#tricule rant
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help I got way too into homebrewing dnd stuff and now I can’t sleep
#i think I might be coming down with a cold too which sucks#but I made up an entire dnd race on the spot. wrote 2 pages of lore and figured out balancing. it was SO fun#and I’m also helping one of my players adapt a monster to a playable race and mess with one of the subclasses to fit that#oh and writing up big document to give to players so they can start properly making characters#i gotta finish the city section and then it’s done#I’m just. so excited abt dnd#but it’s also now 1:10am and I gotta get up early for work tomorrow. I ALREADY feel bad#my flatmate has been coughing a LOT today so I might have caught smth from him :/ I’m rlly hoping I haven’t#but I took paracetamol (worn off now so my head hurts again) and I’ll see what happens tomorrow#oh wait I could take more paracetamol now it’s been 5 hours#..yeah okay that’ll probably help sleep#god. I have a big application to write which I was meant to do this weekend and this week at work is gonna be so busy#terrifying. all I wanna do is dnd. literally all I can think about.#oh note to self make the other shark person homebrew have limited amphibiousness turn into not getting long rest benefits outside of water#okay I’m going to bed now. and I have hiccups. god hates me#pls someone bail me out of work so I can just dnd instead#luke.txt
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augh english version of tcf novel is going to release soon...............i know theyre gonna call him alver.......must prepare myself for the psychic damage
#i knowwwww alberu is like. not technically correct like i know. i know in true english it would be alver#but i can not stand the name alver and will forever be calling him alberu in my head#does it not match the vibes of the rest of the names? obviously. i Do Not Care#alver is too close to alvin#i dont think alberu is gonna show up in the first vol anyways#maybe the third one#depends on how many chapters per book it is#and also how they divide the chapters bc the priginal novel is like almost 800 chapters but the chapters are typically divided into parts#so depends on if they keep that division or just consolidate each chapter name into one whole chapter instead of dividing it#or dividing it less idk#i have too many thoughts abt this#my biggest worry is that i will be blindsided by someone elses name and how they decided to spell it#this is like the hq manga all over again#i will never recover from seeing them call seijou blue castle#like im pretty sure thats what aobajousai means#but its so fucking weird to call them the english translation then just the japanese name im sorry 😭#or blue castle might be what seijou means idk im guessing#where was i going with this#oh yeah novel incoming 🥳#u know i never read the first few chapters?#at the time i found the manhwa first and ran out of chapters to read and went looking for the novel#and then i didnt want to reread what i just read in the webtoon so i figured out where it left off and just read from there#on the one hand good for me bc ive tried reading the first chapters before in an effort to reread the whole thing again#but the first chapters give me HEAVY second hand embarrassment#and also anxiety that someone will catch that cale is not who he is#but alas nobody figures it out until wayyy later and its the guy who literally doesnt care bc he didnt know og cale and the guy who ALSO tra#transmigrated#so its a non issue. i wonder if pt 2 is gonna reveal it. i would imagine it would? i dont actually know what chapter theyre on. i think almo#almost 400 by now which is fucking hilarious i hope ms author is staring at her word docs like how did it get so long again#michi tag
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#literally no one fucking cares but i gotta document Everything like im a school kid sue me .#abyway. caught him fucking wayching n smiling at me and i Faltered.#not Sure how to React n i nust Faltered like a Fool.#as in i stumbled into my friend vc Oh and rhen . stopped smiling a lil#only to hide my face in my fucking hair and stare at the pool tabls like .#ew . blushed like a Fool i Hate It Here.#anyway. atp i dont wanna kill him i wanna k**s him instead and thats Now Bad.#im tetering on a sangerous piint that Isnt going tocend well 4 me at all.#also my therapist is going on holiday for 6wks im .#i gotta habdke that . its in july so i have Some Time tocmentally prep and figure out .#my other outlet .#bc like . i can figure shit out and write it out . all i fucking want . but i am a Yapper and talk therapy is the Best thing for me#n shes literally my only support system in this . and im Rlly goping by the time shes . gone#all of what im Worried abt bottling up wont matter so mych bc things will be Different . but#anyway i gotta bonk myswlf in the head i gotta stop thinking abt him .
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hello gamers minor life update I have been doing Real bad lately so I will likely continue to be very inactive, but hey on the bright side I have been fleshing out some eternal gales lore I reworked a while back and I can happily say that Dodie no longer completely contradicts the very nature of reality in eternal gales and the fog tower™ officially has a real reason to exist again so hell yeah to that
#rat rambles#eternal gales#oc posting#this is a piece of lore I technically updated a while ago but I mostly just relocated dodie home to a different piece of worldbuilding#but now Im fleshing things out a bit more and Im so glad that I set myself up such an easy way to jump ship on the old stuff#it also makes my life easier because it means that I have an actual reason for mase to be the first person dodie encounters in person#also an actual reason to trap him at first sorry dude it adds to the suspense#longggggg story short dodie lives in the universe's core of sorts#its where all the other characters are transported to at the beginning of the story due to other stuff#I already had it as a thing that the core attempts to replicate the casts home and food and such to help maintain them#but the fog tower™ had its core echo in place since forever basically#mostly because the narrator wanted to get dodie a home set up in the core instead of having to find a way to house her in notmal society#now the tower wasnt exactly meant to be found but it still had to be real enough to actually get echoed so it was real enough to be found#hense why mase's family lives in the lower half of it#the top half is fully reserved for setting up stuff to be echoed to dodie's tower#this is mostly handled my cup aka dodie's long distance mom figure#but most of that stuff was done before dodie was properly created and as such cup had to fight for their life to figure out how to best get#this child growing up in fucked up situations as happy and stable as they could with limited budget and time#they were also dealing with doing a lot of this behind the backs of mase's parents as the two wanted them to provide just the bare basics#despite this cup managed to sneak in a shit ton more video tapes than they were supposed to and attempted to cover as much as possible#ofc dodie still ended up incredibly unstable and fucked up anways but she still loves her long distance video mom dearly#up til she was like 12 or so those tapes were the only way she could see and hear another person#but yeah in the echoed version the lower half of the tower is mostly consumed by plantlife and the such#hense why dodie avoids the area like the plague she has hashtag issues regarding plants#oh yeah Ive also been thinking abt fydd a lot lately#I have been slowly developing a bit of a side plot for him in my head that Im not 100% sure Im going to commit to but Im mivrowaving it#basically I was thinking abt each of the human casts sort of quote unquote domains are#by that I mean the whole reason they get drawn to the universe core is because theyre all sorta connected to universe functions#fydd is one of the weird ones because his place in the system is the basic software ig would be the best way to put it?#hes connected to the very base of the system that the rest of the functions are built into
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GOJO SATORU: HUNGRY FOR MORE
✩ ‧ ˚. serial killer!gojo x detective!reader: fucking the serial killer you're supposed to be arresting might be the best (or worst) decision you've ever made. PART 2 | NSFW
contents: fem!reader. porn with plot, dubcon, public sex (in an alley), p –> v, orgasm denial, fingering, he cums inside, unprotected sex, degradation, praise, lil' bit of dumbification, hair pulling, squirting, dirty talk, manipulation/coercion, mentions of murder (he's a serial killer what did u expect), non-sexual mentions/usage of guns, probably more. 3K words.
author's note: wrote this instead of writing my research paper and studying for my math final. if this flops i will actually become the serial killer /j. anywaysss tagging @satoruhour @screampied @satorena.. and yes, the "season 2 coming soon" in the banner means something ;)
“looks like your little killing spree’s gonna have to come to an end,” you muse, crossing your arms and cocking an eyebrow at the man across from you. he grins back at you, and it’s almost unsettling—he looks a little too smug for a killer who’s just been caught.
“i don’t think so, sweetheart,” the man responds dryly, leaning back against the alley wall, features relaxed and at ease. he—satoru gojo—has been your target for a couple weeks, and now that you’ve finally cornered him, you find yourself feeling a little… unfulfilled. usually, when you caught criminals, they begged for mercy and showed a little more emotion than what satoru’s shown so far.
also, the criminals usually weren’t this good-looking.
you maintain eye contact with satoru while you carefully reach into your coat’s pocket, withdrawing your phone and unlocking it. unexpectedly, satoru doesn’t make any move to stop you from dialing the number to your boss, instead smiling coyly as you do so.
“so, you’re one of those guys who don’t care what happens to them?” you ask, tilting your head as you hold the phone to your ear. satoru shrugs and his grin only widens the longer your phone rings. ten seconds pass before your phone tells you that the number you dialed is currently busy, and satoru’s muffled laughter becomes unbearably suspicious. you narrow your eyes and involuntarily take a step back. “what’s with the smile?”
satoru scoffs and dips his head, pushing himself off the wall and taking a step towards you. “y’know, you’re rather brave, comin’ out to catch a serial killer all by yourself. and in the middle of the night, too.” he stops advancing when he sees you pull a gun out of your pocket and hold it up threateningly, a look of warning in your eyes. “okay, okay, relax. i’m not gonna do anything to your pretty face.”
“what did you do?” you ask suspiciously. satoru widens his eyes in mock disbelief, as if he’s completely and utterly shocked that you’d ever accuse him of anything.
“besides the fifteen separate counts of murder? not much, really.”
“i’m not an idiot,” you snap, cocking the gun and aiming it at his head. “you’re not the one in control here, satoru gojo. spit it out before i put a bullet through your skull.”
satoru laughs and holds his hands up in surrender. “fiesty, aren’t we? it’s alright, i like my girls with a little fire in them.” he tilts his head to the side and looks you up and down, eyes lingering on parts of you that suddenly make you feel naked, despite the coat covering most of your figure. “put down the gun, sweetheart, then we can talk.”
you wait a second, scanning satoru’s overly relaxed face before cautiously lowering the gun. “what are you hiding?” you ask again, eyes hardening.
“a lot of things. but i think you’re talking about what i did to your boss, right?”
“you have five seconds before i shoot you.”
satoru makes a face and then rolls his eyes dramatically. “fine, since you’re bein’ so pushy about it. i killed him, obviously. you’re a smart girl, shouldn’t you have figured that out by now?” when you don’t immediately answer, satoru sighs and shakes his head. “and here i thought that the girl who’d been tailing me for the past week would have a little sense in that pretty head of hers. looks like i was wrong.”
“shut it,” you snap again, re-dialing the number and letting your phone ring for fifteen seconds. when nobody picks up, you internally curse and think about what to do next. dialing 911 would be worth a try, but the look in satoru’s ice-blue eyes makes you think otherwise. despite the gun in your hand, something about him makes you entirely certain that he could overpower you, even if you landed a shot on him. and even if you just shot him right now, he’s been shown in the past to be able to function fine with a bullet through his chest. that’s how two of your subordinates lost their lives to him—by underestimating your city’s notorious killer.
so you decide to bide your time.
“ran out of options?” satoru asks smugly. he raises an eyebrow when you slide your phone back into your pocket and exhales a laugh. “you gonna wait for a big, strong man to rescue you? ‘cause i’m right here, honey, and i could be your savior.”
“that was actually the shittiest line i’ve ever heard,” you scoff, rolling your eyes at the self-satisfied look on his face. “are you seriously proud of that one?”
“well, it worked.”
he pushes himself off the alley wall and towards you so fast that you hardly even have time to process it, and before you know it, you’re the one pressed to a wall with a gun to the side of your head. satoru’s other hand grabs both your wrists and pins them above your head, and his face is close enough to the point where you can feel his breath—which is unexpectedly minty—on your cheeks as he grins down at you. “you really think i’d use a line as shitty as that if i didn’t know it’d make you lower your guard? tch, you really shoulda known better.”
you use every curse word you’ve ever heard in that moment and grit your teeth, rapidly thinking through all the possible ways you could get out of this situation, but nothing comes to mind. you’re quite literally stuck in between a rock and a hard place, with a gun pressed to your head and with your limbs out of commission.
satoru clicks his tongue and widens his eyes at you, leaning in closer. his lips are uncomfortably close to your own as he traces the gun down the side of your face, cold metal brushing against your heated skin. “not gonna fight back? that’s no fun.”
“the fuck you want me to do?” you snap irritably, glaring up at him and curling your hands into fists. satoru tightens his grip on your wrists and cooes a sarcastic apology to you, taking his time looking you up and down again. if you didn’t value your life, you probably would’ve said worse, but seeing as you were the only person in this ridiculously isolated alley, it wouldn’t be worth much.
“i dunno. didn’t that detective academy or whatever teach you anything?”
you roll your eyes again, and somewhere in the back of your mind, you consider the possibility of your eyes getting permanently stuck in the back of your head just because of him. “y’know, you’re not giving me a whole lot of options.”
satoru laughs. “if i did, that’d defeat the whole purpose, wouldn’t it?”
at this point, death would be preferable to hearing his idiot talk any longer.
“so, i’m gonna be the one asking the questions from now on,” satoru continues, clicking his tongue disapprovingly when you scowl. “if you behave, i won’t hurt you that badly, ‘kay? keep that in mind.”
“thought you liked your girls feisty.”
“oh, that’s true,” satoru muses thoughtfully. “yeah, never mind, you can be a little bratty. i need a reason to fuck you stupid anyways,” he grins after a moment of consideration.
“what the fuck?”
“you heard me, sweetheart,” satoru cooes, feeling his pants tighten as he watches your eyes widen. your “tough” demeanor drops for a split second, and satoru can’t help but want to fuck it off again when it returns. your scowl deepens and you frantically think through all your options again, but there isn’t a whole lot you can do at this point.
“if you wanna stay alive, you’ll be a good girl and you won’t scream,” satoru murmurs, leaning in closer and pressing his lips to yours. you grit your teeth and try to shove him away with your shoulder, but it doesn’t do much. satoru smiles against your lips and hums softly, pulling away with an almost affectionate look on his face. it’s so at odds with who he is and what he’s done that you drop your guard again, wanting to believe that he really will keep his promise not to hurt you.
satoru sees the shift in your features and smiles tenderly, all traces of his borderline-sadistic look gone. he studies your face for a moment and kisses the corner of your mouth, letting his lips linger for a second before he pulls away again. “i’m gonna let your hands go now, m’kay?” when he drops your wrists, they fall limply on his shoulders as you warily study him, eyes wide with confusion. it’s jarring, the way he just… changed personalities within the span of a couple seconds. “i’m not gonna hurt you, pretty,” he breathes, dropping the gun and letting it fall to the floor with a loud thwak. “this’ll be a lot more fun for me if you don’t resist, yeah?”
oh, fuck it.
“okay,” you murmur, ignoring every siren going off in your head. you don’t really have any other options, and honestly, nobody was going to walk by and get you out of this sticky situation anytime soon. and satoru was pretty attractive… and you could just arrest him afterwards, right?
as if he read your mind, satoru smiles and promises, “you can handcuff me after i’m done with you. just let me have a little fun one last time, baby.”
yeah, it’d be a stupid decision to believe the sweet-talker towering over you. there’s no way he’s just going to let you drag him off to jail, but there’s a reason he’s stayed out of the grasp of the law for so long. it’s hard to live a life as on-the-edge as being a serial killer, but the reason satoru’s survived for this long is because he knows how to use his words. he knows how to make a person go against every warning in their head, and he knows how to get what he wants.
which, for tonight, includes you.
“you have thirty—no, twenty minutes,” you mumble, knowing damn well that this would be the end of your career as a detective. whether or not you dragged satoru in after all this, you could never continue your work knowing you had sex with the biggest serial killer in the city.
satoru laughs and kisses you again, lips trailing down your face and settling on your neck. “haven’t i already made it clear that i’m the one in control here?” he muses as he slips his hands under your coat and tugs it off. it falls to the cold ground and bunches up around your feet, leaving you in a button-up shirt and flowy, dark pants. “c’mon, let’s get these clothes off you.”
within a minute, the rest of your clothes save for a black lacy pair of undergarments join your coat on the floor, and the chilly nighttime air nips at your skin. “i’m cold,” you mumble, feeling yourself involuntarily tense up everywhere but where satoru’s hands cloak your skin. satoru laughs in response and presses his knee to the spot in between your thighs, and something in you snaps at the point of contact.
“you really are an idiot, aren’t ya,” satoru scoffs, hand sliding down to your waist. his fingers latch on the waistband of your panties and he tugs them down, exposing your already-wet pussy to the cold evening air and his eyes. “lettin’ a serial killer fuck you in a dark alley… what kind of detective does that?” satoru spits on two of his fingers and slips them inside you, instantly groaning when he feels you clench around him. “fuck, you gotta be the tightest pussy i’ve felt in a while,” he mutters, white hair falling into his eyes as he looks down shamelessly. “do you not have sex with other guys?”
“don’t have time,” you swallow what would’ve been an embarrassingly loud moan as his fingers go deeper and deeper. how long are this man’s fucking fingers?
“aw, look at you, you’re so cute,” satoru cooes, smiling down at your scrunched up face. you look back at him through squinted eyes, hips starting to roll against his fingers. it’s true—you really haven’t had time to have sex given your already-insane schedule. it’s almost like you spent more time tracking the man who’s now knuckle-deep inside you than sleeping, but the slutty part of your head tells you that it paid off.
“‘m gonna cum,” you whine pitifully, squirming around satoru’s fingers as he curls them inwards, making you clench around him even tighter. a shiver runs over your body, starting from in between your thighs and spreading all over you as satoru’s fingers move back and forth inside your soaking wet cunt. “g-gojo—”
“call me satoru, baby, and you’re not cumming until i say you can.” with that, satoru withdraws his fingers from your pussy with a pop! and grins at the way you glare at him sullenly. he mockingly pouts and licks his drenched fingers clean, tongue lapping up your essence. “heh, don’t worry, i’ll make you cum more than you knew you could once you’re stuffed with my cock.”
although you’ve determined satoru’s “promises” to be dubious at best, he fufills this one after he’s spread your legs wide open and positioned his cock at your entrance. “this might hurt, baby, but remember, no screaming.” after you nod in acknowledgement, satoru slips his tip in and watches, amused, as you try to close your legs on reflex. “uh uh, keep ‘em nice and wide f’me,” satoru tuts disapprovingly.
and true to his word, it hurts—a dull ache spreads throughout your legs as his dick goes farther and farther inside you, reaching places you hadn’t felt in a long time. satoru’s hands settle somewhere on your waist as he pushes himself deeper, ignoring your gasps and pleas for him to slow down a little. your shaky hands move to his hair and you unwittingly pull on it, somehow eliciting a soft groan from satoru’s lips, and somewhere in the back of your mind you think that of course a serial killer has a hair pulling kink—it just makes sense.
“s-satoru, it won’t fit,” you whisper, feeling satoru hit an especially tight spot in your cunt. even with how wet you are, it just feels like you can’t possibly take any more of him—he might as well be ten feet inside you, given the pain in your hips. but, as expected, satoru only smiles tauntingly down at you and murmurs words of encouragement as he somehow pushes past the barrier and gets all the way in amid your pained whimpers.
“yeah, that’s it, knew you could do it,” satoru says sweetly, voice coated with poisonous honey. now that he’s all the way in, the ache from your waist down starts to fade into pleasure, especially as satoru starts moving himself in and out to get you used to the feeling of his dick. “just like that, pretty girl. jus’ like that.”
soon enough, he sets an unexpectedly harsh pace that makes your back arch off the cold, brick wall behind you, and even as satoru tries to keep up his “cool serial killer” act, you can hear his quivering breaths as he gets close to cumming. “shit, i forgot how fuckin’ good it felt to fuck a cunt this tight—” he mutters through gritted teeth. “‘m gonna cum inside, ‘kay?”
you nod breathlessly, chasing your own pleasure and not actually listening to the words satoru murmurs in your ear. at this point, it didn’t matter—all your pathetic little head could think about was satoru’s dick, and somehow, you forget that he’s a killer when he cums inside you. it’s hot and thick and it almost knocks you over—when was the last time you felt this good, if ever?
the coil in your stomach snaps and you cum with him, nodding along to satoru’s praises on how well you’re taking him. you squirt all over his painfully hard dick and suck in a sharp breath as you do so, body trembling from the force of both of your orgasms.
“see, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” satoru murmurs when you both come down from your highs, stroking your hair almost tenderly. you bob your head in response, face warm and eyes unable to properly focus. he stuffs his fingers back inside your puffy cunt and scoops the cum dripping down your thighs back inside, mumbling something about not letting a single drop go to waste. ��who knew the pretty detective i’d had my eye on would be this good to me?” he cooes, grinning snarkily.
satoru’s earlier promise floats through your head and you force yourself to look him in the eye. “y-you said you’d let me arrest you after,” you breathe, back still pressed to the wall as satoru surveys you amusedly.
“oh, sweetheart, you’re in no condition to be giving orders,” satoru says condescendingly, pulling up his pants and grinning at you. his cheeks are still flushed red, but whether that’s from the cold nighttime air or from the heated sex, you don’t quite know. “we should do this again sometime,” he continues conversationally as he picks up your coat for you. despite the fact that you’re still naked and trembling, satoru drapes your coat around your shoulders and helps you button it up.
“but you said—” you protest, but satoru cuts you off with a raised eyebrow.
“you didn’t seriously believe me, did you?” satoru tuts, shaking his head. “i’m a serial killer. i’m not gonna turn myself in just ‘cause of a detective’s pretty pussy, baby. you should’ve known better, doll.” satoru wraps an arm around your limp shoulders and tugs you in for a kiss, lips pressing firmly against your own for a couple seconds before he pulls away with a satisfied smile.
he leaves you with a promise to see you soon.
#osaemu#gojo smut#jjk smut#satoru gojo smut#gojo satoru smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#gojo x reader#jjk x reader#satoru gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#gojo x you#jjk x you#satoru gojo x you#gojo satoru x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#gojo x y/n#jjk x y/n#jujutsu kaisen x y/n#satoru gojo x y/n#gojo satoru x y/n
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Merfolk Courting Rituals | TWST
Octavinelle Dorm X Reader
Azul X Reader, Jade X Reader, Floyd X Reader,
---- Merfolk typically have instinctual ways they begin 'courting' or a relationship, in the deep sea you need to be sure of your partner after all. (Non-Human courting rituals part 2/3)
Savanaclaw Ver. | Diasomnia Ver.
Floyd:
It was spring when it happened. Almost summer. The days we’re warming up and everyone was suffering a bit for it.
Usually, you would be able to go about your business alone, or perhaps with the company of Grim if he felt like it. Today however, a certain eel was towering over your shoulder. “Shrimpy~” he’d giggle, a shiver was sent down your spin at his voice.
You slowly turned around. “A-ah? Hey Floyd…” you smiled warily. You usually, like most people in school, avoided the eel like the plague. He flashed his sharp teeth at you and extended his hand, the other one in his pocket in a more relaxed manner then your posture.
“A tooth…?” You squinted at the item, it was pointy: like his own teeth.
Realistically, you didn’t really wanna hold this. Not that you’d tell him that. You glanced up at him again and saw those same teeth, not a single one out of place. “Do ya like it?~”
He leaned closer to your face, his eyes widened ever so slightly in a more intimidating manner. Clearly his lack of personal space had never changed. “Um… yes! I do…?!” You were quick to awnser back.
Pleased with himself, he giggled loudly and walked away.
What was that about?
After that he’d keep approaching you with odd gifts… at one point he presented you with the largest pearl you’ve ever laid your eyes on and then the next day he gifted you with a handful of beautiful scales.
You dreaded to think about the poor mer behind that gift…
Either way, this was suspicious, right? When Floyd leech approached you, you either run away or get squeezed, why were you getting gifts? It also didn’t help your relationship with the Housewarden of Heartslabyul, who now avoids you like the plague.
Seriously, when you walk into a room Riddle happened to be in, he jumps up and leaves immediate- sometimes even running away like you were his tormentor instead of Floyd!
You’d also noticed that Floyd would yawn more around you… You didn’t think you were boring either because he wouldn’t be around you if you were boring to begin with! “Are you getting enough sleep?”
“Eh? Shrimpy doesn’t like me?” Floyd pouted, You noticed him glance at your mouth breifly. “Shrimpy~ that’s rude.” He’d whine louder, a darker look in his eyes than usual. You had no clue if you had offended him or not that time…
Another time was this happened. It actually happened far more often than you would think or enjoy.
“Shrimpy~” he’d say repeatedly to annoy you while you walked around school. Like when a sibling kept poking at you and claiming they weren’t touching you, but he had his hands behind his head as he followed behind you a bored expression on his face. He had been hanging around you more.
Sadly that meant your friends were less likely to approach you. And if they did it was because they neglected to see the towering eel boy.
“My, My, Floyd had taken quite a liking to you.” Jade stated offhandedly one day. You were at the Mostro Lounge (Azul was tired of Floyd skipping work and offered you free meals to hang out so Floyd would get back to work.)
You glanced at the Eel with a confused look. “What do you mean?” He simply looked down at the small necklace you had made with Floyd’s… gifts of a tooth and scales. I’m your defense they made very nice jewelry. Was it a bit messed up to be wearing some students scale and possibly their tooth? Perhaps… but you were poor and wanted something nice to wear.
With the same odd mysterious smile, Jade was off to serve the next costumer.
So you took it upon yourself to figure out what that meant!
First you went asking around Octavinelle. This was a bad idea because most students avoid you like you were Floyd.
Thankfully you managed to corner one, A trembling student you was glancing behind and around you the whole while you talked to him. "So?" You finally asked, a hand on your hip.
"Uh... What? C-could you repeat the question...?" He finally looked to you.
"Whats up with Floyd!" You finally snapped a bit, with a groan and a small eyeroll you glared at the smallfry.
"A-aren't you his...?"
"What on earth does that mean..." You groaned in annoyance too yourself. You were still, very, extremely lost.
Jade:
Whatever do you mean? You started courting him first if he wasn’t mistaken.
It was a Monday afternoon during autumn you believed, when he was serving you in the Mostro Lounge while you were studying. (They had a exclusive deal that lasted only that day) It was pretty late and so, you, like a very normal human, yawned. “My, If I’m not mistaken this is hardly that time of year.” He replied slyly as he gave you your half off drink.
You just glanced at him in confusion as he bowed and excused himself, ever the polite waiter.
That was… odd.
What was stranger was, now Jade has this habit of gifting you things he found on his hikes. It started with a flower to then a mushroom and for some reason he had gifted you a rock? He said he found it “fascinating” So he gifted it to you.
You didn’t really know either…
This whole issue began to intimidate you. I mean, Jade leech, gifting you things? There had to be some kind of motive behind it! There is always a motive behind the Octa-trios advances.
So, not wanting to owe him anything, you began gifting him things in return. “I found this at the store and thought you might like it.” You’d smile warily and a bit nervously as you extended a hand, in it a Dorsel Fin candy.
He’d smile and accept your gift, you’d breath a sigh of relief and go about your day as usual. At least now you didn’t owe him anything!
Now it became a habit, or a fun little game! Whenever Jade would gift you something, you’d look for something of equal value or better! Something he’d like. You’d attempt to one up him, but it was as if he knew about your game somehow and wasn’t letting you win.
Eventually it started to become something else, he was just... always there now? You'd turn around and almost scream! Because: was he there the whole time?
The worst part? He helped you so much more than half the time you turned around, and he wasn't there, you wished he was. He was making your life harder by not being there!
Here is the thing, you can't just get someone use to having a nice, helpful helping hand who is also attractive and then just take that away! Its inhumane.
You gifted him a terrarium you made yourself.
You didn't know why you did it. Maybe you liked his company and wanted to show your appreciation, maybe it was just because you were fond of him.
It was pretty out of the blue as well. You had been working on it for a week now, it wasn't anything remotely at Jade's own level but it was nice. (It better have been because that hike to gather everything almost killed you.)
Was it worth it? Yes. Seeing his eyes widen slightly before he regained his composure was absolutely worth it. He almost had to cough into his hand in Suprise.
Jade wasn't the most expressive, but you had a few ideas of what his Suprise would be look like. "Do you like it?"
"I do perfect. Thank you."
Note: Jade will never confess. It'll be one of those relationships where you don't know how it started but now your married so... Have fun!
Azul:
He was hopeless. Everybody knew this simple fact, except of course: you.
He was a businessman, not a... romance man!
From the way he'd tug at his tie like it was choking him when you were around, to how flushed he'd get when you even glanced in his direction. This guy was absolutely hopeless.
He actually turned... A very bright red was he turning purple as well? and immediately fixes his posture when you're in the room.
Thankfully, it takes two to tango and you were interested in him as well.
So, yeah, it was up to you to pursue the shady businessman who isn't very shady around you and instead acts like, in his own words, "an idiot."
So, no... he doesn't exactly court you. You court him.
You bring him cool things you find, blabber on about what you like and what you think he would like. He was... very confused and flustered, but happy you were there.
It was only after you took an active role in the relationship that he relaxed slightly and began to play along. Giving gifts back and ranting about the business and some poor unfortunate soul he scammed helped.
As everything began to relax in your guy's relationship. It got too comfortable, well, comfortable wasn't the right word. He was comfortable, you were suffering.
Why wasn't he making a move?! Didn't he like you?
Meanwhile, he was feeling pretty good. Jade and Floyd had gotten to a place where they don't tease him as much about not being able to make a move with you. (He didn't you made all the moves.) And his crush was showering him with attention!
You'd glance at him nervously while you sat at Mostro Lounge. He was counting his contracts. His new ones he had started to reaccumulate.
You physically couldn't hold it back anymore. It had been a week. A whole week of nothing new happening between the two of you. The words fell from your lips fast, like rushing water you tried to hold back but couldn't. It would have always slipped through the cracks in your fingers anyway... So you asked him, the burning question. "I like you. Do you like me...?" You finally blurted out.
"What?" He froze up. His head whipping in your direction he didn't know what to do or say and- he was ruining this wasn't he?
Azul had always been an anxious boy, it helped him- Because despite those anxieties he'd show them. he'd overcome them! He always had. But what do you do exactly when the person your heart has been beating oddly for asked that?
"I- um..." was all you needed before you stood up and left. Trying to fight back the small burn that began in your eyes before you cried. "Wait!" He called out but you had been out the door far too soon to even remotely hear him.
It was... a whole thing. He hated it, you hated it, and despite him refusing to admit it, you both cried over it. You always did love the classic miscommunication trope. But it happened. And frankly, you' prefer it this way in the long run. Because when everything was cleared up...
You got to kiss the octopus boy!
A smile on your face when you pulled away, he stared at you slightly shocked but very happy.
In a side note, after you kissed him, he wondered around aimlessly for a good while before he broke out of whatever spell you put him under. (You're still the magicless perfect of ramshackle...)
___________
Note: Floyd is my favorite. I hope you could tell lol Do I adore Azul? Yes! Was he the last one I wrote so it was kind of rushed and not very long? Also yes... I tried to make it a bit special-er?
#floyd leech#floyd x reader#floyd leech x reader#twst floyd#Jade leech#jade x reader#jade leech x reader#twst jade#twst x reader#azul ashengrotto#azul x reader#azul twst#azul twisted wonderland#Twst X Y/N#Twst X Reader#Twst X You#twisted wonderland x reader#twisted wonderland fanfiction#twisted wonderland#twisted series#Azul X You#Jade X you#Floyd X you#disney twst#disney twisted wonderland#Twst X reader#twst fluff#twst#twst fanfiction#twst fanfic
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