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michellejackson · 3 years

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Prompt by @xphrnzrjh 💞

Fandom: Druck

Pairing: Fatou Jallow/Kieu My Vu

Wordcount: 2434

Acquaintances to study partners to friends to lovers AU

Chapter one

So, Kieu My never meant to go this far. Too bad she was a hopeless slash desperate romantic with horrible, horrible ideas which she just happens to be stupid enough to follow through with.

Being at school after hours wasn’t unusual, many would use the library and study rooms for homework or to work on group projects. So no, that wasn’t unusual. What was unusual however, was stealing keys from the teachers’ lounge, sneaking into the classroom reserved for the English class, finding the paper where the English teacher has partnered up the students for a future team project, stealing it, sneaking out, copying it, swapping around the names in a way that won’t be noticeable, sneaking back in and leaving the altered paper.

Kieu My could admit that that was an out-of-character move for her, but hey, it worked didn’t it? You might think, that’s kind of drastic, don’t you think? Well, yes, but also… let’s just start from the beginning.

Kieu My was about a week into the school year when she noticed her. She was skating around the schoolyard in khakis, a thin purple see-through sweater and a yellow and purple Hawaiian shirt, looking like she owned the place. The look really shouldn’t have worked, but it did, and she looked so damn good. The sight of her had stopped Kieu My in her tracks, forcing her to pay attention as she swiftly skated through the crowds of students until she stopped before a familiar blonde. Nora. Zoe’s sister. Interesting…

Later that day, during lunch, Kieu My tried her best to subtly ask Zoe about her sister’s friend, but she didn’t seem to catch on. Like at all.

“So... how’s Nora? She settling in okay? Got some new friends?” subtle, Kieu My, real subtle.

“Oh, she’s great! She got this new boyfriend, have you seen him? His name is Josh, and he is hot, seriously, wait let me show you a picture.” Turned out it was subtle. Too subtle.

“Oh, good for her, uhm, how about-”

“He’s just the sweetest guy, she’s really happy-” so she spent the next ten minutes looking at pictures of Nora’s boyfriend and listening to her best friend talk him up. Not the way she planned this lunch to go. Before she knew it, they parted ways and she was none the wiser.

She did contemplate asking Nora personally, but decided it would be weird considering she didn’t know her that well. So instead, she spent the rest of that day daydreaming. None of her classes got as much of attention as the skater did. How had she never seen here before? School had been in full motion for a week, and she hadn’t seen any traces of the girl before today, which would mean that they had zero classes together. Sigh.

The weekend was spent trying to find her on Instagram, which was a tedious job. First, she went to Zoe’s account to find Nora’s, which was easy enough, but as it turns out, Nora has a private profile, so she had to improvise further. She spent half an hour trying to remember her boyfriend’s name, and when she remembered that his name was Josh, she looked through the people Zoe follows to find him.

Bad news: Zoe doesn’t follow him.

Good news: Zoe did show her his photos on Instagram, which means he has an open profile.

Bad news: She had to actually find that profile.

Initially, she was going to just write in the name Josh and look through every profile Instagram recommended, but then she came to her senses and realized that that’s a shit idea. So, she logged into the school’s website and looked up the list of current students to go through until she found every single person named Josh.

And bingo. Josh Zimmermann.

Kieu My let out a cry of happiness when she finally found his profile but was again let down when she didn’t see any pictures of the girl. She knew this had been a longshot, but she was still disappointed.

So yeah, she gave up. She took her defeat with stride, and started look through Josh’s pictures, because let’s face it, she had nothing else to do. Maybe she’d find a comment left by the girl or something. Josh was cute, she’d admit. If she wasn’t so hung up on a girl she saw once for five minutes, maybe she’d spent more time admiring, but she was, so she didn’t.

She stopped scrolling when she landed on about the fifth picture Josh had posted of this one girl, a pretty brunette woman. The curiosity got the best of her, so she clicked on her tag. Her name was Yara, and her profile was filled with pictures of her with Josh, and some other girls. Her heart skipped a beat. She had a picture with Nora and another brunette. She was friends with Nora.

She quickly scrolled down her profile, continuously looking for the skater girl. She found it almost at the bottom. The picture was taken from the side, but it was without a doubt her. She was wearing glasses and had white locks in her hair, and she was holding a tortoise in her hands. The caption read “meet Maike” . It took an embarrassingly long time before Kieu My realized that Maike was the name of the turtle, and not the skater girl, but let’s not dwell on that.

Yara, bless her soul, had tagged the girl. Kieu My was in such a rush to click on the tag, she accidentally liked the picture. A picture from four months ago. The only picture of Fatou on Yara’s profile that was posted four months ago. She’d liked it. She wished she could say that she unliked it right away, but she was frozen for so long she was sure Yara had gotten the notification. Well, better late than never, right?

She unliked the picture as she cursed herself, and proceeded to click onto Fatou’s profile, which of course, was private. But she wasn’t mad, nor that disappointed, because she had a name now. Her name was Fatou. She’d found her! Fatou. Fatou.

She went back to the list of students.

Fatou Jallow. She continuously spun the name around in her head in English class the following Monday, she’d chosen a window seat this time, which she looked out of while daydreaming yet again.

So when someone sat down next to her, with a quick hello, she was startled to say the least. She was even more startled when she looked up to see the girl. The skater girl. Girl of her daydreams. Fatou. Fatou Jallow.

She just looked at her, in shock mostly, did she just manifest this? Is she starting to have visions now? Is she going crazy? And while Kieu My came up with a hundred reasons to how this could’ve happened, Fatou seemed to shrink under her gaze, seemingly backing off. Wait, no, no, no, no. Goddamn resting bitch face.

She was just about to speak up when the teacher clapped his hands, demanding attention as he started the class, and she was left looking like an asshole. She would’ve physically banged her head into the table if that wouldn’t turn Fatou even more off her.

“And you must be Fatou, nice of you to finally show up-”

Five seconds ago, Kieu My wouldn’t be so sure that Fatou could get any smaller, but the teachers comment seemed to make her especially uncomfortable, and Kieu My found herself wanting to chop his head off. Respectfully.

But Kieu My didn’t say anything, she never did, and she always cursed herself for it. Instead, she found herself looking at Fatou’s hands, placed on the desk next to her. She was fumbling with her thumb ring, which was yellow, and while focusing longer on it, Kieu My realized it was a mood ring. She had half a mind to whip out her phone right then and there to look up the different colors and their meanings, but instead made a mental note to do that later.

“Kieu My? Are you paying attention?”

Her head whipped up as the teacher said her name, and she blushed as she looked to Fatou who had clearly noticed where her focus was as the teacher called her name. The girl displayed a knowing smile, and instead of looking bashful as she did before, she almost looked a little smug. Her ring had turned into a blue-green color and Kieu My’s blush deepened as she caught herself looking at her hands once again.

She just nodded to the teacher, willing him to move on.

“So, as I was saying, I’m pairing you up to work on a project that’s due at the end of the month. You and your partner will be tasked to pick a classic work, rewrite it, and then perform it in front of the class. Got it? Great. Before anyone asks, you will not get to pick your partner, I have already paired everyone up randomly-” he pulled out a paper from under the desk, quickly displaying it before putting it back into the drawer. Fatou groaned and Kieu My rubbed her forehead, already hating this assignment.

“You’ll get more info on Wednesday, but if you go onto page 16-”

Kieu My made sure to pay extra attention to the rest of the class and when it was over, she had almost forgotten about the girl next to her.

That was a lie, she didn’t forget, quite the opposite actually, but she wasn’t about to flaunt that. She took her time packing up her stuff, seeing if Fatou would try to talk to her. She couldn’t be sure if Fatou had left yet, seeing that Kieu My had used up all of her will power to not look her way, but when she’d finished packing up all of her stuff and went to leave, she could see Fatou spending even more time than her to pack her bag.

Fatou looked up from her bag when she finished, smiling at Kieu My. God, she had a beautiful smile. As she stood up to leave, she looked into her eyes and said, “too bad we can’t pick our own partners” . Kieu My doesn’t remember how she reacted, all she remembers is the heat taking over. However, the way she’d reacted had seemed to delight Fatou though, who grinned at her as she left the classroom.

At lunch she sat with Ismail, Zoe being off somewhere with Finn. Kieu My didn’t say much, her mind somewhere else, but that didn’t stop Ismail from talking their head off. As they were talking, Kieu My was only half listening while looking up mood rings on her phone. She looked through different type of mood rings until she found one that looked like Fatou’s, and quickly found the color chart.

So, it seemed like her mood ring consisted of seven main colors, black, gray, yellow, green, blue-green, blue and violet. She thought back to this morning, and what colors Fatou’s ring had been.

At first it had been yellowish, when Kieu My had accidentally blown her off with her deadpan. Okay, yellow; “nervous, mixed emotions, unsettled”. Great. She had unsettled her. She pinched the bridge of her nose as she reminded herself that mood rings weren’t necessary correct. She’d get a chance to fix it, it was fine. It’s fine.

“and you have English with Mr. Strauss, too right? That paired up assignment is already enough for him to be my least favorite person in the world-”

“yeah, and we can’t even pick partners…” Kieu My adds absentmindedly, just to keep them going. She thinks about what Fatou had said, and her smile.

The second color she’d seen on her finger was blue-green, after she’d caught her staring at her hands. Kieu My cringed at herself just thinking about it. Blue-green; “inner emotions, charged, somewhat relaxed” hmm…

“Right?! What an idiot. God, I swear, we should break into the classroom and swap the papers or something…” Ismail joked with a laugh. This got her attention though. She looked up from her phone as Ismail just kept on rambling, further joking about hacking into the school system or something, but she again wasn’t paying attention, because now she was stupid enough to form an even stupider plan.

And that’s how she ended up here. Broken into the classroom, swapping the papers. It seemed like a bad idea when she thought about it after Ismail had said it, and now that she’s doing it, she knows it’s an even worse one than previously imagined.

Kieu My wasn’t one to speak up when she wasn’t called for, or to do anything that would incriminate her, so to say that her hands were shaking and that she was freezing cold out of her own skin was an understatement. She cannot afford to be expelled. But the worst was over now. On the way out she didn’t even bother to drop the keys off where she found them, she was too scared to, so she simply dropped them right outside of the teachers’ lounge and didn’t stop running before the school was too far away to see.

That following Wednesday Kieu My was so paranoid and so sure that she would be found out. When the time for English class came around, she seriously contemplated skipping class for the first time ever. She didn’t though, but she purposefully came just a little late so that the teacher wouldn’t have time to speak to her before class. She was freezing and her hands were shaking.

When she entered the class, the only seat available was the same she sat in last, and she was confused at first, because Fatou sat at the same place at last too. Not the window seat, but the one next to it. She hesitated towards the seat, not sure if it was held off for someone or something, but when Fatou saw her she smiled. And Kieu My melted onto her seat.

The class was surprisingly uneventful, and towards the end she found herself relaxing. Or that was until the teacher decided to announce the partners. As he went through the list, she didn’t blink once.

“Kiey My and Fatou-” …he didn’t even flinch. Kieu My waited just a little longer before letting out a huge breath. Oh my god. He didn’t even notice.

She looked to Fatou, who was already looking at her, smiling.

This time Kieu My smiled back.

#druck #please this is so chaotic idek #read this with a grain of salt #or like a lot of it #kieutou #fatou x kieu my #druck fic #kieutou fic #druck fanfic

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maybecoolwords · 4 years

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A Little Insecure ..

Pairing: Erik Killmonger x Reader

Word count: 1.5 k

Summary: You were feeling insecure and Erik comes to cheer you up ...

Warnings: Some angst but fluff at the end.

A/N:This fic was requested for a skinny reader, but I did my best to make it for every female reader cuz we all go through an insecure moment and I myself get that feeling where I just wanna lie under a blanket and starve myself, possibly every single day. I just wanna say that it doesn’t matter in what shape or form anybody is, we are all unique, beautiful and smart in our own way, and we all deserve to love ourselves. If anybody wants to talk about it I’m here. I hope you guys like this one, and if you have any requests feel free to tell me. BTW GIF IS NOT MINE.

You’ve been laying on your living room couch for the past hour and a half, just randomly scrolling through social media to pass time. For the past few weeks, you decided to start working from home because of the pandemic. And you were hell-bent on convincing your boyfriend Erik to do the same, which he ultimately agreed to do.

You both decided to quarantine together since you both live in separate places and you won’t be able to see each other for a while if you're willing to lock yourselves at home.

You loved the idea, and since then, it’s been as perfect as you imagined it to be and maybe even better. Sure Erik can get a little annoying sometimes; when he’s too lazy to do his dishes, or when he keeps clinging to you during a conference call for our job - which you don’t mind - or when he uses all the hot water during his morning and night showers. But you turn a blind eye to all of those irritating habits of his, in turn of spending every evening cuddling or watching a movie or just having his warm body all over yours. Which you were supposed to do right about now hadn’t Erik gotten hungry and left you to cook something you know will probably end up burnt.

You were starting to feel kinda cold without him by our side. You already asked Erik if he needed help, but his stubborn self won’t let you anywhere near the kitchen, YOUR kitchen. But hey, as long as he cleans his mess, you’ll do as he says.

You started scrolling through Instagram in wait for “the most delicious meal you’ve ever eaten” as he said. It was when you reached one of your boyfriend’s posts and saw a comment from one of his ex-girlfriends. It was a normal comment, she wasn’t thirsting over him or commenting anything that would offend him or anything like that.

Erik already told you about her, he explained how he has known her for a long time and how they started dating only for it not to work out and decided to stay friends. You understood, of course. I mean, you’re not the type of a woman who would get jealous of her boyfriend’s friends and you don’t feel insecure about your relationship with Erik. God knows it’s the most secure and trusting relationship you’ve ever been in.

But her profile picture was so interestingly beautiful you couldn’t help but snoop a little on her Instagram account. She was so beautiful, the type of girl with an attractive hourglass figure that you only dream about. Most of her posts are of her in different poses showing off her gorgeous body. You tried your best to keep yourself from feeling down about your own body. You knew you’re not as attractive as she seems to be. She looked like a model whilst you looked like you had the most boring wardrobe ever.

You felt bad for yourself. Toxic thoughts started infiltrating your mind. You began to think about how you can put much more effort into how you look than you already do, you felt ashamed and insecure about your own body (which you should not be).

You were so lost in those unnerving ideas you didn’t notice rik approaching you until you felt a warm hand on your cheek wiping a single tear running down your face. You looked at him before you quickly locked your phone and tossed it away.

“What’s wrong princess?” He asked in the most concerned and comforting voice he could use.

You didn’t answer, you just reached your hand to wipe your eyes and calm yourself down a bit.

“Are you gonna tell me what’s upsetting my baby girl or am I gonna have to find out by myself ?” He asked again, trying to get you to open up to him like you always do.

“It’s nothing.” You said as you looked at anything but him, an obvious tell of lying you have. Erik can read you like an open book, and you’re thankful for that, but just not at this particular moment.

“Sweetheart just tell me. You know I don’t like seeing you cry, princess.” He said as he lifted your chin up so you would look him in the eyes. Erik looked at you with the most kind and benign eyes he could muster. It’s his way of showing you that he won’t judge, and he never does.

You want to tell him, you really do, but how? How can you tell him that the reason you so childishly started weeping was over his ex-girlfriend’s pictures? You will sound so whiny or even worse, you'll look like an annoying sensitive girl who cries over the smallest and insignificant of things. But Erik is not the kind to back down when his girl feels even the tiniest bit emotional. So he pushed his way even closer to you on the couch and extended his strong arms to engulf you in a soothingly calming hug.

You can’t put into words how grateful you felt at that moment. Just clinging to him with all your might and having his cologne overtake your senses, as you felt a few kisses on your forehead every once and then. You spent the next few minutes like that until you stopped crying and decided it would be better to explain to him the reason behind your sudden feeling of uneasiness. Because, and as much as you hate to admit it, Erik is your voice of reason. If there was anyone who would wholeheartedly cheer you up and help you feel better, it would be Erik, and you love him for that. He has done it many times before, when work stressed you out, or when you just felt left out or anxious about something, he’d be there to comfort you, with a big box of your favorite chocolates. So after a few sniffles, you calmly said: “Why do you love me?”

“What do you mean ?” He furrowed his brows in confusion before he looked your way, still holding you against his chest.

“I’m not like all the girls you’ve been with before-” You started, “-I’m not as attractive as they are, or as beautifully curvy as they look. They are perfect, and trust me I’m not jealous, but if you can get girls as charming and very, very alluring as they are, then why settle for just .. me?”

Erik was beyond shocked. He thought that maybe you were just upset about work, or you’ve been probably watching some sad video on your phone. He wasn’t expecting you to ask him such a question, especially whilst you held him so tight as if he’s your only lifeline.

He did feel speechless at first, he won’t deny it. He kept thinking, from where would he start answering your question? But he knew for sure, the best answer would be the one spoken from the heart, as cliché as it sounds.

He started by pulling you away from him so he can get a good look at you, and if it wasn’t for his gentle touch you would’ve thought he wanted nothing to do with you. He then lifted your chin to get you to look at him again.

Here goes nothing.. He thought to himself before he said:

“Y/N, it’s true, you're not like those other girls, you’re you. And that is more than enough reason for me to fall in love with you and for you to fall in love with yourself. Sweetheart just because you don’t look like them or you don’t have whatever you think makes them more attractive doesn’t mean they are better than you in any way shape or form. And to be honest, I fell in love with how smart and beautiful you are, and your appearance, to me, is more than attractive and you know it.” He chuckled when he saw a small grin tugging or your lips.

“And I love you not only because of that, but also because of the little things you do for me that always make me feel better, because you always take time to be there for me to wipe away my tears whenever I need you to.” Erik stopped to take a deep breath when he saw your eyes tear up again, but this time, those are not tears of sadness, but tears of cheerfulness.

You couldn’t stop looking at him. His voice was so soothing and peaceful and not once did he hesitate when he spoke.

“And to answer your question-” He added, “I didn’t settle just for you; I actually think I hit the jackpot with you. And I live every day trying to become the best version of myself, to be there for you like you’re there for me every time. And trust me when I say I’m never letting go of you, ever.” He finished as he placed another kiss on your forehead.

“I love you.” You said.

“I love you too.” He answered before you pulled him in a soft and delicate kiss. Quick, firm and delicious. He started to pull away after he felt you smile in the kiss, then as carefully as he could, he said: “I burnt the pasta I was making ..”

#Erik Killmonger #Erik killmonger x Reader #black!reader #female!reader #black panther #michael b jordan #michael b jordan x reader #fluff #angst #fanfic

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calypsoff · 4 years

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Ten. Part 3

Passing the blunt back to Chris as my phone vibrated in my hand “if a killer just randomly comes and starts chasing us, what would you do?” looking down at my phone “tell them to take you, you’re worth more than me” Rakim has text me back fast, side eyeing Chris “you an ass, I can imagine that too” unlocking my phone.

Rakim: Moving fast haha gotchu

Robyn: had to let you know!

Rakim: Appreciate it

“Still text your ex?” Chris asked, I knew he would, but I am not hiding it “yes, I had to let him know that I am dating again. I mean I didn’t need to let him know but I did because it was so close to each other, I didn’t want him to think it was him and I did while we were together. I mean I did kind of but whatever” I shrugged locking my phone “let me text Seiko and let her know then” placing my phone in my pocket laughing lightly “I am playing, I get it. Y’all are friends but he doesn’t need to know anything now, but if you are fucking with your ex in any way. Meaning you met him at the studio, I would like to know. I don’t want to be no dickhead, that shit alone will piss me off. I just have to get used to it but I would like to know. I will let that slide, I get it. It was close” that is me being told, I will make sure to tell him, I don’t want to annoy him “I promise” unlocking my phone again, tapping on Instagram, aiming my camera up at the stars. Pressing record and zoomed in “you and I will always be, I fuck with Mariah Carey a lot” Chris is still singing Mariah Carey which made me laugh, stopping the recording “you ruined my video” laughing at him “I got vocals” that strain of weed is strong, and he’s had more then I, he looks so faded. Adding a caption ‘Get you a man that sings Mariah Carey to you under the stars’ adding it to my story “you going upstairs now?” Chris asked “if this you saying we are having sex then yes I am going upstairs” getting up from the steps, Chris let out a deep chuckle before slapping my butt, I yelped out “I am coming, go on” I didn’t get waxed for nothing, he better give good.

Chris may take his time so let me just take a picture of the things he got me “oh shit” the bear has his name on his foot, looking around the bed, his tee. Rushing over, grabbing his tee and placing it on the foot of the bear, placing the hood over its head. Chris doesn’t understand how much he has done for me, how happy he has actually made me, I am more in love with him now, I mean it is weird to say that but I feel more in love with him now, that is still weird to be saying that. Stepping back, aiming my camera at the bed of things for me. Taking a picture of it, I will post this. Tapping next to add a caption ‘Meet son son! We gon put him to bed so momma can get some…… sleep tonite!’ pressing send on the picture, walking over to the bear and picking it up. There is a mirror in the corner, cute. Tapping the plus sign on Instagram, aiming my camera up to the mirror and wrapping my arm around the bear, placing my hand over the name on the foot, taking a picture of us. I am so in love with this bear, it’s just Chris in bear form. Captioning the post ‘meet son son! My baby’ my account is about to be about this bear, they will have to deal now I got a child.

I grabbed a nearby brush and pulled my hair back into a ponytail, I quickly dabbed my face with a towel. I quickly did my night theme for my face, he is still outside, like how long can I just stand here looking dumb, I am stood in a robe, I thought I would wear some cute lingerie under this. I mean I am not stupid; I knew this was coming. I felt my clit aching, I want him. My sex is pulsing. wet and swollen, I have been feeling like this since I saw Chris looking the way he did, he looks so sexy. I just want to ride his face. I groaned out turning around, I am going down “where you going?” I jumped at his voice, he is here. Didn’t even see him coming up the steps “nothing” I said in a whisper, I feel shy now to turn around. Taking in a deep breath as I undid the robe and let it drop down, he can enjoy the back of me, for now. I could feel Chris burning a hole in the back of my neck and I shifted uncomfortable “Robyn” he said my name softly, my stomach quivered, my heart pounding against my chest. It wasn't until that very moment that I realized how hard my nipples are. I slowly turned around to see Chris intently watching me. The way he looked at me caused my nerves to bundle. The heat between us immediately sparked to life and exploded around us like a little firecracker. I could see the lust and desire held for me in his eyes. He attempted to hide it behind his caring expression, but it was there. Our bodies called for each other and I felt myself being pulled towards him.

Glancing up he looked directly into my eyes, he licked his lips, and lowered his voice seductively. Dipping his head slightly till a mischievous grin grew on his face “mhmm tasting you has been the only thing on my mind since seeing you again” Chris took in a deep breath “but I do not want to give you the impression that I will simply just stick my tongue inside of you” my mouth fell open, sweet baby Jesus “oh” is the only thing that came from my mouth “I don't just want to taste you” He smirked watching as I struggled to keep my composure at this confession “I want to take my time and eat you right. I want to kiss the inside of your thigh and inhale your scent. I need you to fill my nostrils while I devour you completely. I need to learn your body” I am a wet mess, words could not be formed, thoughts were unable to be processed. My legs felt weak, my mind scrambled. His words were the sticks to the drums beating between my thighs. Chris stepped closer, towering over me. His warm breath dripping down my neck, crawling into my pores and I was two seconds away from letting him know that he could have whatever he wanted however he felt he needed it “I want to feel your body tremble while the tip of my tongue flickers your clit. I want my tongue to explore your sex until I unlock all the secrets of your body. What drives you crazy? What makes your back arch? Does sucking on your clit make your toes curl? How far can I push my tongue inside of you before you explode in my mouth? I want to know your body better than you know your body.” My core jumped. The throbs becoming almost unbearable. My drenched panties stuck to my pussy. A moan trembled from me and she I my bottom lip to keep from crying out any further. Fuck, I am in trouble and that is all I could think of “but most of all I need to hear you scream. My ears have to hear you moan again. You have this beautiful growl that rattles in the back of your throat and then roars out of you. It echoed around the room” he took a deep breath smiling “It's so…sexy” I pulled my bottom lip further into my mouth, my legs feel weak.

My knees buckled and I fell weak, Chris chuckled, he is watching me unravel and spiral out of control in front of him. I am right where he wanted me. I have been staring into Chris’ eyes for far too long, I didn’t realise that he has been unbuckling his jeans, he pushed down his boxers. I am a total mess, I can’t even comprehend how bad I am right now, I have never felt like this before and it’s scaring me. He pulled his top off and moved closer to me, I assumed he was going to kiss me but he didn’t, I involuntarily kept moving back until I hit the wall and then he dropped to his knees “oh my god” I just had to say it, Chris spread my legs apart. The moment his fingers touched my skin, goosebumps broke out all across my body. I shivered and looked down to see Chris looking up and watching me. She could see in his eyes that he felt it too, were those butterflies fluttering through my stomach. I shook it off and became distracted when Chris placed his nose as close to my core as he could without touching me. He simply inhaled, closing his eyes and moaning softly “mhmm” He finally nuzzled his nose into my panties, and I gripped his shoulders, holding myself steady as he moved his hands across my body. He kissed my sex. First with his lips, then with his tongue.

I yelped when he cupped my breast through my lace bra, roughly squeezing them in his hands. My head fell back and hit the wall, he pulled my panties to the side and teased me with his warm breath. I squirmed above him just enough to show that it was pleasing. Pulling my panties off, Chris grabbed my leg, opening up my body further and gently kissed the inside of my thigh. He switched back and forth between legs, kissing both equally. He bit the inside of my thigh, he sunk his teeth deep into my skin, with every intention of marking his territory. My sex is completely open to him. I am so wet; he growled and threw my leg over his shoulder. He pecked my clit, gently. Very soft. Treating it delicately before placing an open mouth kiss over the sensitive bud. He sucked long and hard until my eyes popped open and I am pulling on his hair. He placed more kissed on my lips before griping my thigh and going to work. I was grinding my clit on his face. Moving to meet the thrust of his tongue. Chris placed his free hand on my lower back keeping me in place as he continued to feast. He continued to tongue me down and I didn't know how much longer I could last on that one leg. He has me pressed so far up the wall I am practically standing on my toes. He moved his hand back up my body till he reached my breast. He pinched my nipples through my laced bra “oh fuck!” my one leg to the ground gave way but Chris caught me, he didn’t laugh like I thought he just picked me.

Guiding me onto the bed, he laid me flat on the bed and crawled up my body, hovering over me. My legs fell open without even asking. Chris touched my knee and slowly moved his hand up my leg. I withered with need when he touched my clit, he bit my neck the same time as he plunged two fingers into me. I whimpered and gasped. Chris sucked on my neck; his ear positioned next to my lips; listening to all the sounds I made. My body arched off the bed, he crawled back between my legs, picking up where he left off. Pushing my legs back until my knees touched my chest, Chris placed his whole mouth over my swollen sex. He plunged his tongue in deep, digging and sucking. I went crazy, my legs squirmed and shook, but he held them steady in place. I pulled on the bed covers, screaming loud. My eyes fluttered, back twisted and I trembled as Chris pushed my legs back further. Pressing his face deeper into me. I am convinced he is trying to eat his way out. He sat up a bit, letting go of my legs and grabbing my ass instead to lift my body off the bed, he pulled me towards him. Completely burying his face between my legs. His tongue vibrated against my clit and I slammed my hand to the bed in pleasure while he continued to slurp me up. I came hard, proof of his victory oozing out of me. I could feel my whole body pulsing as he moved back from me, still dripped freely between my thighs. Our eyes met and I silently pleaded with him to take me now.

“Shit, Chris” I spat, he bucked forward, and I arched away from the bed and curved into him. I spread my legs wide and gasped when he crawled up my body, he grabbed my breast and pulled it into his mouth. Twisting my nipple between his lips, Chris rocked his hips, grinding the length of his dick against my core. I whimpered and moaned wrapping my legs around his body and locked my ankles together. Chris grabbed my face and placed open mouth kisses along my shoulder and up to my neck. He licked and sucked down on my neck. He continued to push against me. Holding my face between the palms of his hands, he rolled his hips. His mouth still glued to the side of my neck; my eyes closed feeling every stroke of his length. Chris hands met mine, he moved his head away from my neck and I opened my eyes, our finger intertwined as he looked down at me. I gasped seeing him moan above me, he attacked my lips with a kiss, so I wasn’t just watching him moan like that, his hands never leaving mine.

Drying off my hands, I made it down those stairs and made it to the bathroom to pee. Looking in the mirror, I can officially say that I was a pussy ass bitch crying under him, I am still a mess. I look a mess, Chris has really done a number on my neck, this is day one, the fuck is he going to do now, there is no space. Placing the towel down, Chris always ends up making love to me, and I swear if I wasn’t on birth control, I would be pregnant from this night alone, chile. I am shook “you good?” I jumped “don’t you knock?” he scared me “the door was open, watching him walk by me butt naked “do you like my neck?” looking over at him as he proceeded to use the toilet “how did you notice that? I do, I like your neck” I can’t believe I am stood watching this man pee “I am pretty blown away, I am speechless Chris, you got me fucked up. You are so good, I really can’t get enough of you” Chris chuckled “I just want to be a little rough with you, but I can’t, I just fall into the love making” watching him shake his dick, I need to stop “and I enjoy it, you got me fucked up Chris. My stomach is still just trying to get over that, I orgasmed so good” moving to the side so Chris can wash his hands, tilting my head to the side staring at his butt “you got a nice ass” gripping his butt “are you making me your bitch now?” I shrugged smirking, Chris turned so he can dry his hands off but he gripped me instead and picked me up, I yelped out.

#Chrianna FF #Chrianna #Chrianna Fanfiction #Fanfic #Fanfiction

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erikismybitch · 6 years

Text

Drillmonger

A series

Part 3

“Thank you for flying with us, have a great stay” She said for the upteenth time. Her smile broke finally , she was done for the night as soon as that passenger left through the plane door . The act for her and the rest of the cabin crew was over . She did her last sweep for trash and personal belongings left behind . When she was done , she headed off the plane and straight down the tarp to the bathroom . Dragging her carry on behind her . She hated airplane restrooms and would often hold her bladder for as long as she could . They were entirely to small for comfort . After relieving herself , she washed her hands and eyed herself in the bathroom mirror . She thought she looked good . She had one leg today , flying straight from her base to New York City. It was cold , so she decided to straighten her hair . And just because of the new style , she put makeup on. Quickly she took a picture of herself , then tagged her location .

The night was still young and the cabin crew decided to go get drinks before heading to the hotel . She wasn’t quite ready to check in so she went along with them . Usually she would work with new people each shift , thankfully this time she had a familiar face . A month in a half had passed since the conversation between her and Young Kill. she continued to live in the fantasy of her bedroom , watching his videos . She was content. She figured things were cool because still followed her . He even liked a post a week back .

“Girl you don’t see your phone flashing from your pocket ?” Stephanie, the familiar face informed Her. She hadn’t felt her phone vibrating at all . New York was active and loud , she could barely concentrate on anything .

“I didn’t girl, but thanks” She retrieved her phone , it was a message. A couple of messages on Instagram. They were from Young Kill .

Young Kill: Give me your number

Young Kill: I’m in New York .

Young Kill : I wanna see you tonight .

“Shit” she mouthed , she for sure could concentrate on this. She sent him her number and he called instantly . She quickly rushed outside to avoid the noise and establish some sort of privacy . “Hello?” As anxious as she was, she hid it behind her voice .

“Know you a flight attendant so you need to come see me now” he spoke . It was the first time she had heard his voice , he was actually speaking to her .

“Uh-“

“I’ll send you an Uber” he cut her off .

“How do you know I want to come ? “ she bit down on her lip , knowing fully that she wanted to see him .

“You don’t ?” He added that much appreciated bass in his voice .

“No, I do I just -“

“Where you at right now?” he cut her off again. She took a few steps closer to the street , then turned to the bar to identify the sign . She told him the name and he followed up with a short pause. “The Uber will be there in three minutes, be outside”

And with that, he hung up .

Anxiously, she stood at his hotel door , nervous as hell . She gripped her small black carry on tight as she knocked softly at the door . She was taken by surprise at how fast the door opened. There he stood , gold teeth gleaming at her . His army green Nike Tech sweatsuit was zipped to the the top of his chin . She let out a soft and timid “Hi”. Kill opened the door wider and moved out of her path. He chuckled lowly, a flight attendant outfit , it was like the beginning of one of his scenes . She walked through the suite and sat on the king sized bed. She heard, what she assumed was the bathroom door, close . She sat down Waiting on the bed . There was a full length mirror in front of the bed, she stared at herself . First thing she did was fix her hair . Too late he knows what you look like now . “This is really happening “ she mouthed wide eyed.

The toilet flushed and she straightened up. When she heard the sink her heart began to beat through her chest . He came out. “Kick off your shoes get comfortable “ those were the first words he spoke to her . Kill sat on the opposite side of her. “You flying out early ?” He asked

“Not till the afternoon”

“So we got all night ? “ he locked eyes with her through the mirror , she looked away quickly. He smiled again, he found her coyness charming . Relax girl, just pretend like it’s nothing . He rested his back on the head board . Holding his phone.

“Why are you in New York ? “ she questioned , this time she turned to look into his actual face . He let her know that he’d gotten into some trouble a while back and had to go to court . She wanted badly to ask for details he could sense it .

“I got into a fight at a club”

She laughed , light and innocent . “You’re too old to be fighting still”

He laughed and got up . Agreeing but also let her know that his anger was something he was dealing with . Kill rummaged through a backpack that was sitting on the hotel desk.

“You smoke right?” He assumed casually .She let him know that her job drug tested randomly. He dropped the backpack , slightly annoyed . Then he asked if she drank , he was relieved when she told him yes .

“The mini bar is stocked , make us a drink or something” A hint of light sparked within his voice . She had never actually met anyone who used the expensive hotel mini bars . She eyed the prices. Just a couple ounces of juice was almost seven dollars . Kill was trying to be accommodating. She grabbed apple juice and a six ounce Hennessy bottle . She used a plastic Ice cup from the shelf and make two drinks . The two of them laid back on the headboard, still on opposite sides . They were closer this time though . She gave him a cup and he took a sip.

“This shit is good, I’ve never had this combo , I might have to steal this “ He showed his dimples, she had somehow almost got lost in them . She took a sip of her own , right before she noticed the row of gold wrapped magnum condoms on the bed. Her eyes went round, He saw . “You nervous ? “ he took another sip and licked his lips .

“Kinda, I’m not going to lie to you” she took in the sight of the condoms, Kill slid them off the bed and out of her view.

“You watch my videos so you know what I’m about . You know more about me than I do you, I should be the nervous one...right , Candy ?“

He knew her name, he must have dug deep into her Instagram because she never told him.

“You right “ Candy got his view point , but it didn’t make her any less nervous . She drank more . He drank more , then he turned on the TV. Skimming through the thirteen hotel channels until he found something settling . Some incarcerated docuseries rerun .

“Wow, I didn’t even know this still came on” she mentioned as she recognized the television show. She took her jacket off , so did he.

“This used to be my show” he chimed in, scooting himself a little closer to her body . Calculating his moves , not wanting to press the issue as of yet . They made small talk about the episode and even some of their favorite moments from others . About twenty minutes in, the alcohol kicked Candy’s hormones up a notch. Her wondering eyes kept reverting from the Tv to Young Kills bulge . She counted down from three in her head and invisioned herself pulling his dick out and taking it between her lips .

“I need to go to the bathroom” she walked off briskly , keeping her eyes forward , trying to pretend that she didn’t feel his gaze upon her . Remembering that he had drank just as much as she . Candy stared in the mirror, unbuttoning one blouse button from her top . It was getting hot . She inched her skirt up and slid her panties to the side . Using one of the many face towels she ran it through warm sink water and refreshed herself . Just to make sure everything was right . Thank god she had gotten waxed . She pulled her clothes back down , then fluffed the flatness in her hair . It was time .

The TV was off . Candy walked out , repeatedly telling herself she was ready to get what she came for . Young Kill was standing in front of the bed facing her , blocking her from going to her original side . She walked towards him. “You good” he moved closer, his tone indifferent and low.

“Huh?” She didn’t hear what he said , on account of the fact that his hands were unbuttoning the rest of her blouse . He got to the last one and yanked it from inside of her skirt . He spread the shirt open and revealed her heaving breast oozing from the top of her bra .

“As sexy as your work outfit is, you need to take it off “ he felt along the rim of her skirt , running his fingers along her skin until he found the back zipper . The skirt fell to the ground and he noticed she had on stockings . “Take all this shit off!” Candy found his tone to be more aggressive this time, just like the videos . It sent a jolt through her body , in a good way .

He took off his shirt , still watching as she obeyed by slipping her stockings and panties off. Her actions were then followed by her back hitting the foot of the bed. He towered over her , in all his glory . The wide back she could see through the mirror and the veins popping through his arms . She rose up and ran her hands all over his chest, this was real . Real indeed .

“What you do when you watch me . You play with yourself ? “ he spoke with the rugged aggressiveness. Candy nodded her head.

“You play with what?”

“Myself “ her sweet voice answered .

“Nah sweetheart what you play with?” He continued to toy with her .

“I play with my pussy” she said softly while looking everywhere but at him . Her actions seemed to amuse him because he laughed .

“You’re so cute , I play with my pussy” he mimicked the innocence in her voice . Kill started to pull down his sweats and briefs , then began stroking his already hard ego .

“Show me what you do when you watch my videos” he tightened his jaw. Candy laid back , pretending not to be scared shitless. Hell, she had never been this vocal or open sexually with her past lovers . Hesitating a little, she opened her legs to reveal her pink bud. She began to rub her clit , the exact same way she did each night . There was No turning back now . Young Kill watched her zealously , still stroking himself .

“You wish it was me ? “ He said proudly , gripping himself tighter now .

“Every night”

Her eyes met his . It was normal for a girl who wasnt in his industry to be intimidated by him. Slowly he was breaking down that wall . This was what he’d been waiting for . Her hands moved faster , he could see her wetness peeking through her hole .

“I watch you every night “ she whimpered, her eyes closed shut and her head dropped back .

“Move that fucking hand!” He roughly slapped her hand away , making her gasp . His lips zeroed in on her swollen nub. She was Over joyed, she didn’t even expect her pussy to get eaten. Her body couldn’t stop squirming from the excitement.

“Relax...Candy” Kill moaned in a breathy tone, almost as if he got pleasure in saying her name . She sat as still as she could , able to hear the sticky sound of his lips sucking on her . His hands reached up to cup her breast , squeezing them hard . She moaned out . Kill brought them back down and wrapped his arms around her thighs . That way he could push himself closer inbeteeen her legs and she couldn’t move away .

“Yes” inched from her open lips .

“You ain’t shy no more ? “ he squeezed his fingers against her thighs, leaving marks .

Without warning he pulled her legs up and pinned them back until they hit the bed. Candy squealed as Kill allowed his lips and tongue to roam every sensitive nook of her pussy.

“You taste so fucking good Candy, you probably a vegan“ he teased .

She was unable to speak or laugh , Just grips of his free falling dreads to give him encouragement. “Why you so sweet Candy? Huh ?”

He continued to eat her until she came . Laying there shocked and exhausted, Kill climbed onto the bed and sat up on his knees . He held on to his dick , it was his turn now .

“You ready to suck daddy? “ his eyes burned with lust as he looked down at her . She indeed Wanted to return the favor . Candy sat on her high knees and licked the tip of his thickness . She coated the base with her tongue , making it easier for her lips to slide . “Damn” he groaned at her technique. Candy could take him , all of him into her mouth . Each time his tip touched the back of her throat he groaned .

Kill gripped the back of her hair and began to face fuck her . Softly at first , but once he noticed she wouldn’t break it set him into over drive. He fucked her face hard , her spit sliding down her chin onto her breast . She opened her mouth to try and breathe but she began gagging .

“Look at me!” He demanded . Her watery eyes looked up at him, still gagging with each stroke he took , but she didn’t stop . “Breathe through your nose Candy”

She did what he told her, and was able to control the reflex. He tossed his head back, still controlling her movements . Before he could bust, he pulled out and away .”Come up here”

Candy stood on her knees and aligned with him . He wiped her wet face with his hand and lifted her leg up . Candy almost fell back but he caught her .

“Hold on to me , I’m about to fuck you “. She nodded her head and braced herself as he slid right inside of her . They were so close , they could feel each other’s breath . She rested her head against his and wrapped her arms around his neck. Candy wanted to kiss him so bad . Young Kill never kissed girls . Not on film , not in real life, not ever . But he had to admit, Candy was a nice break from the aggressiveness on set . He had fucked many girls , none were sweet little fans like her. This was the first time he’d done anything like this . He knew she wanted to kiss him, most women did . He stuck two fingers between her lips for oral fixation. Candy sucked on them untill he pulled them away .

“This dick, oh my god!” Her words didn’t even make sense . This was better than what she imagined . Candy closed her eyes and allowed him to take control of her body. Young kill was going to fuck her into oblivion . He dropped her leg and pushed her onto the bed , his wide body hovered over her . His manhood teasing her hole with just its head . He eased himself in again. Enjoying the squirm , the silent begging .

“Can I take it?” He finished his sentence with a hard slam inside of her . Her breath hitched and eyes shot open.

“I said , can I take this pussy!?” He slammed into her again leaving himself fully inside of her . Sending a rocket of pleasure through her senses . Her hands crunched together.

“Take it ” her cry lingered as Kill stroked her slow and rhythmic . His abs and biceps flexed with each movement. He watched as her pussy expanded to his size , seemingly enjoying the feeling of being inside of her . As Candy’s sticky gloss coated him , he remembered he forgot to put on a condom. Fuck it . She didn’t seem to care either .

“You so fucking wet for me, look at me “ he watched her . Candys eyes were silently pleading with his . “You hear this shit ?”

“I do “ the way his dick felt , she was ready to say those two words at the altar too . She could fully hear the sticky squelching sound they created . Kills gentle hands roamed her stomach and went up to her breast , still stroking. But those gentle hands soon turned into the ones she was used to . The rough ones , the vigorously irritable ones . They wrapped themselves around her neck tightly.

“Yes!” She screamed , she knew what was coming. That ruthless punisher she knew from the videos . Kill showed no restraint as he pumled into her hard . Slapping his body against hers , holding no reguard to his nine inches daggering into her walls. Her moans were high pitched , until she was unable to moan any longer . Just airy sounds of surrender . Her hands pierced into his wrist , hoping to gain some kind of control .

He smiled , finding himself getting off from her suffering . Her eyes rolled towards the back of her head , as if she was posesssd by his dick . “I know you not fucking coming already “ he chuckled and let her neck go so she could talk .

“I cumming , keep it just like that” Candy inched out , reaching for his back to restraint her from this release he built up inside of her . He stayed just like that. Until he felt her contracting around his dick , and saw her spasm beneath . He eased out of her , dripping and still hard .

She was in a luminous state , staring up at him as if he was some god . “Turn over” he asked politely at first. Candy, still in a confused state took too long to oblige. He slapped her left thigh hard and she turned around slowly .

“Its too much for you ?” He eased down onto her, then slid his tongue along her neck and spine.

“Yes” she answered, still slightly out of breath .

“That’s too fucking bad , put that ass up!” She arched her back for him, satisfied he began to fuck her . He opened her cheeks and let go . Kill watched as her ass ricocheted with every thrust .

“Throw it back on daddy” he told her, she heard him but didnt move fast enough for his liking . “So fucking hard headed!” Kill pinned her hand behind her back and locked his arm under her arms . Forcefully he lifted her up . He could now see her in the mirror . Kill watced her as she gazed at him through hooded eyes . Candys lustrous breast were bouncing up and down as he drilled into her . Her ass slapping loudly into his pelvis, his balls hitting her hard.

“We making our own movie , this what you wanted ? “ Kill was practically growling at her . Candy had never so good . This flood of pleasure he was giving her body, she wanted to fucking cry . His short groans and hisses were hidden behind her sweet moans of extacy. She was about to cum again . Her head fell in defeat , unable to keep looking in the mirror . Kill fucked her delicate body harder , she was a big girl , she could handle it .

“Fuck!” She belted from her chest . She sucked in air through her teeth . Her walls tightened as she attempted to squirm away , but his grip was far too tight . “Hold up!” Candy screamed .

“Shut up bitch and take this big ass dick” It was as if his words sent her into over drive . Her knees grew weak as he drilled her over the edge .

“Talkin all that shit on Instagram, and you can’t even take my dick? “ Kills voice was spiteful and full of rage . She tried to speak but nothing came out . He gripped her hair with his free hand , pulling her head back into the mirrors view . There he could get a good view of her angelic face through her orgasm. Her pouty lips were open wide . It made him cum too.

“You want this nut in that pretty ass mouth?” He demanded , though it wasnt really a question .

“Give it to me “ she worded hungrily as her eyes opened . Candy was ready and willing to do anything he asked of her now. She was coming down from the edge. Kill, pulled out and yanked her towards him. Her body flipped as she crouched down lower to meet the head of his dick . Her mouth opened wide as he pumped quickly and erupted . He let out a wad of a seed on to her tongue and lips .

Kill fell back onto the bed to rest . He laid against the pillows and placed his hands behind his head . Candy on the other hand had rushed to the bathroom . She looked in the mirror . Her mouth covered with his sticky semen , her arms bruised from his grip and her ass cheek was welted with his hand prints. Candy started and stepped into the hotel shower . Allowing the cold water to calm herself down , as well as the swelling .

So what’s left , where would she go from here . This was totally out of Candys character . One night stands weren’t her thing . She asked herself , Was this shame she was feeling ? All of a sudden did she regret what had just happened?

It felt so damn good though .

Unexpectedly the bathroom door opened , Kill had walked in, still naked . He went straight to the toilet and peed. Candy couldn’t help but watch through the clear shower curtains . She was still in disbelief that that thing was actually inside of her . He finished , flushed and then washed his hands . Kill ran water over his face and wiped it with a towel . Candy was just about done washing up when he walked over to the shower . In habit , she attempted to cover her body.

“We way past that , don’t tell me you still shy” he rolled his eyes playfully . His bedroom demeanor was gone .

“I’m not “ she said back , slowly removing her arms for exposure .

“You staying with me tonight ?” He asked casually.

She had no intentions of staying at his hotel . That was only because she figured he wouldn’t want her to. Wasn’t that how things like this go? She was in no rush to leave, especially now . After he did this to her body,

“Umm, I guess I can . I don’t work until the afternoon “ she cut the shower off , he handed her a towel to wrap herself in .

“Good , because my dick is getting hard again “

#it aint over #erik killmonger fanfic #erik killmonger imagine #black panther fanfic #erik killmonger smut

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bigwheelblading · 6 years

Text

Caleb Smith is an aggressive, urban and distance skater from Des Moines, Iowa. This past winter he had some time off work and decided to make a trip and get his century title before turning 28. Between December 18th, 2017 and January 30th 2018 he visited Denver, Peoria, Chicago, Madison, Minneapolis, St. Paul, Los Angeles, Long Beach, San Diego and Austin. He made it a point to urban skate, visit a roller rink, check out a museum, eat at nice restaurant and drink at coffee shops in each city that he visited.

What made you want to do this trip?

I had some cities I wanted to travel to and I also had some life stuff that I had to get over. I really wanted to get my century (100-mile) title skating from Los Angeles to San Diego. In the end the trip was a complete success.

Skating through a cemetery in Des Moines, Iowa.

How did you plan for a multi-city trip?

The planning of this trip was a bit crazy. I just picked cities I wanted to visit and started looking at bus fares, plane and train tickets and ended up getting all of my tickets for 350 dollars.

How did you budget yourself to make sure you didn’t spend all your money too quickly?

So I wouldn’t over spend I had a friend put money into a spending account every week for me.

Did you bring your aggressive skates with you on this trip?

No, I didn’t bring my aggressive skates with me. It was kind of weird. At first I didn’t think about it, but later on in the trip I wanted to aggressive skate more. Not bringing them was a good thing, because I didn’t hurt myself before the BIG century skate.

Caleb ready for his blading adventure.

Caleb in Des Moines before heading on his journey.

Caleb’s helmet.

So your first stop was Denver, what was it like skating there?

I took the train there from Des Moines and spent a week in Denver skating. I was really lucky that the weather was good. I did a lot of solo trail skating. There is a trail that went all the way from where I was staying into downtown and then goes through the city center. Downtown Denver is a crazy place to urban skate, the traffic is wild and there are a lot of people.

What was your favorite thing you did in Denver?

The last night I was there I went to this event called Denver Roll. Once a month Denver Roll rents out a warehouse and turns it into a roller club. It is a huge space with stages, dance floors and an open bar. Everyone just gets trashed and starts falling over on their skates. I met a figure skater there that was incredible on his blades. He had been figure skating for 30 years and had only been rollerblading for a year. I also randomly met Will Enzenauer there, which was super sick. I was there until 2 am and then at 6 am drove 14 hours to Peoria, Illinois.

The serenity of a clear blue mountain lake, And the Colorado Rocky Mountain high

What did you go to Peoria for?

The friend I was staying with in Denver also grew up in Peoria. I rode with her to visit my family for two nights before Christmas.

Did you skate in Peoria?

When I was in Denver I bought a brand new pair of skates before going to the Denver Roll event. The next day, I was back home in Peoria and wanted to skate because it was going to snow the next day. I went out blading and my frame bolt receptor inside the boot broke. The thread snapped off of the plate and my frame broke out two miles away from my house.

Caleb’s gear.

So what did you do?

I ended up finding an old pair of Razor Cults that were in the garage that had a cuff bolt receptor in them. I had to cut the bottom-lining of my new skates and dig out the broken receptor and replace it with the receptor from the Razors to get it working again.

Did this affect the feel or performance of the skate?

Not really, but I’ve been kind of paranoid ever since that my skate are going to break again. I feel like I’m a little jinxed having brand-new $400 skates break that fast. I had only skated them for a total of four hours before they broke. It was a bit disappointing.

Where did you go after Peoria?

On Christmas night I headed to Chicago for eight days. It was a bone chillingly cold –10 degrees Fahrenheit (-23 celcius) outside. I did not let the cold weather get to me though and immediately went skating to put on miles.

It was so cold in Chicago Caleb’s beard iced over.

What was it like skating Chicago?

I had one of the best blades of my trip there with Ben Price. We did a full moon skate on New Years Day covering about 10 miles. We went to a completely empty Millennium Park and skated “The Bean”. I had never been under Millennium Park before so Ben took me to these underground parking garages that continued on for miles. You can skate around a garage until you get kicked out of it and then just skate to a different garage. We ended up skating underneath the city for hours.

Did you know Ben Price before your Chicago trip?

Yes. He rode his motorcycle to Des Moines once. He bought a motorcycle, rode it from Chicago all the way to Des Moines, stayed with us and rode it all the way back.

Did you go back to your favorite roller rink in Chicago?

Yes, I went back to Southside Rink in Chicago with all the derby girls. It is my favorite roller rink. They have the nicest wooden floor and always have a live DJ. Everyone there is super chill and respectful.

In front of the Wisconsin Capitol building in Madison.

What was you’re your next stop after Chicago?

I was really fortunate and found a $1 Megabus ticket from Chicago to Madison, Wisconsin. The weather was super nice when I arrived so I immediately did a 20 mile skate around a lake to an isthmus. There was second lake on the other side of the isthmus that I wanted to skate around too, but it started snowing pretty heavily.

Did you check out the roller rink in Madison?

I was staying with a girl in Madison who quad skated. We went to a roller rink whose floor was all busted up. There were big cracks and chunks missing out of the concrete. They had put masking tape over the cracks but that didn’t help much.

I was skating backwards really fast, looking over my shoulder trying to avoid a crack and crashed into a mom. I hit her really hard back to back, I fell and swiped her legs out and she fell on her back onto the concrete floor. It was seriously one of the scariest moments of my life; I thought I had killed this lady. Everybody huddled around her and she was holding her back. I didn’t know what to do; I was like “Oh my god! Are we going to have to exchange insurance or something? But I don’t have insurance. I don’t know how that works.”

Lol, it’s not a car wreck! You can’t insure your skates in case you run into somebody!

I was really worried that I hurt this lady, but in the end she was fine. So the next day I was in a museum and decided to cut through the state capitol building to go to a coffee shop on the opposite side. As I was walking out of the building, the lady I hit was walking in. It turns out she worked for the governor at the capitol and ended up giving me a private tour of the whole capitol building.

Caleb getting a tour of the Wisconsin State Capitol.

After Madison you headed to Minneapolis and St. Paul, was it cold and snowing there?

That is correct. It was a little snowy but it was sunny enough that the snow had melted during the day. In St. Paul I had a really nice skate around the by myself and skated to the capitol building. In Minneapolis I went skating with Mike Lufholm.

He is a great photographer; I saw you went out to get some shots with him?

That ledge roll gap I did that he took a photo of was huge and scary. I had that new city hype, wanting to represent while I was there. He shot a lot of photos of me.

Ledge roll to gap in Minneapolis photo by Mike Lufholm

What were the skating rinks like in Minneapolis?

The rink that I went to in Minneapolis was pretty rad. They actually have two different adult skates and I went to both of them. They do a Tuesday night skate and a Sunday morning skate. Many of the rinks I went to on the trip had morning adult skates on the weekends and would serve coffee. I thought that was really cool.

Were there mainly roller skaters or were there also inline skaters?

At the rink in Minneapolis most people were on roller skates but there was one other guy on big wheel blades. There were some other rollerbladers there too, but were more like figure skaters. They were super good at dance moves and tricks.

Caleb toe bonking the lamp post in Minneapolis. Photo by Mike Lufholm.

Where did you head to next?

I caught a flight out of Minneapolis to Los Angeles to visit my friend Josh from Iowa that moved there. It turned out he was hosting somebody else and didn’t have room for me. I posted on Instagram that I was looking for a place to stay in LA and got a reply from Caitlin Krause. She is a rollerskater and the girlfriend of Cletus Kuhn. They offered me their couch to sleep on and I ended up staying with them for eight days. They were super friendly and it was really fun staying at their place.

Did you get to skate with Cletus Kuhn?

We went on an aggressive session with about ten other bladers. Since I didn’t have aggressive blades with me Cletus let me use his Seba skates with Oysi frames. He took me to the Seba warehouse, which was really cool. We also went on a few big wheel blade sessions and did a photo shoot under the Santa Monica Pier.

Caleb in Santa Monica. Photos by Cletus Kuhn.

Wallride under the Santa Monica pier. Photo by Cletus Kuhn.

In Santa Monica. Photo by Cletus Kuhn.

Had you skated Oysi frames before that session?

No I had never skated them before. They were tall but not too tall and I could lock really well on the h-block. The length was also really good. He had his rockered so I could swivel but not loose speed or control. I really enjoyed skating the Oysi frames.

Did you do any other freeskating around LA?

I had briefly met Cletus’s friend Al Romero who told me to meet him the next day downtown to go blading. I met up with him and he became my official tour guide for Los Angeles. We ended up blading all around LA and skated through several of it’s parks. We then took a train up to North Pasadena and did a 10-mile downhill skate through neighborhood streets, trails and city parks. We ended up skating down to the LA River and stopped and had lunch at a Mexican restaurant. It was such sick skate and Al was a really cool guy to spend my day with.

LA Courthouse session with Jasen Richard, Cletus Kuhn, John Grillot and Caleb Smith. Edit by Mike Klaric.

What was the most random thing that happened to you in LA?

I did go on a really cool date in Los Angeles! I met this girl on the connecting flight from San Francisco to LA. She was from Saudi Arabia and came up to me and asked me about my coat and we started talking. We exchanged information and I found out she was also going to LA so I asked her out on a date. We walked all around Venice Beach, went to the Venice canals and had a really nice pizza dinner. We hung out at the beach for an hour or so. She is a photographer and we ended up doing a photo shoot together, which was pretty cool. She was probably one of the raddest chicks I’ve met in my whole life. She was like a little pistol.

And where is she now?

She is back in Saudi Arabia, she was just in LA visiting her sister. She did invite me out there though, so…

From the photo shoot Caleb and his date did in Venice Beach. Photos by Mashael ALObaiden

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Was Los Angeles what you expected?

Yes and no. I did not expect it to be a crazy mind-blowing place. I figured it would just be like a regular city but I did not expect it to be so gross and dirty. It smelled like piss everywhere. The homeless population there was crazy. I saw homeless people in Denver and I saw homeless people in Chicago, but the homeless people in LA were insane.

Did you go on the LA Night Skate?

Kind of, there is a group that meets up on Tuesday nights. I didn’t have cell service, so I messaged them on Facebook and said I would meet them at 8:30 pm at the sculpture where they start the skate. When I got off the train I skated towards the meet up spot but couldn’t find it. I asked several cops on the street for directions but none of them knew where I was talking about. When I finally found the spot they had I already left.

I had to find a WIFI spot and contact them on Facebook again. One of these guys left a tracker for me to be able to locate them. I loaded the tracker app on my phone and started to skate to where they were but lost my WIFI connection. I kept skating around looking for WIFI spots so I could track them. For 12 miles I was just barely behind them but could never catch up to them. I skated through skid row and some really sketchy parts of downtown.

Finally I caught up to them at a bar. None of them were aggressive bladers that also rode big wheels. They were just random people who had also been rollerblading for a long time. The whole night was a surreal experience

I told them about my century skate that I was trying for and they were giving me advice. They were friendly people but I just wanted to be like, “Yo I have been skating for 24 years, I don’t need your guys’ advice.” It was cool though, they bought me a beer and we just chilled and talked for a while.

Skating in Los Angeles with Al Romero

Caleb and Al Romero skating in LA

On the trail along the LA river.

Where did you start the century skate from?

I went on one last skate around downtown LA and then caught a train to Long Beach. One of the guys I bladed with on the aggressive session with Cletus lived in the Long Beach area. He picked me up from the train station at 12:30 that night. We went to his house, hung out a bit and I went to bed at 1:30 am. My alarm went off two hours later at 3:30 am and I started my Endomondo tracker app when I left his house at 4:09 am.

I started my skate going through a massive shipping yard full of containers and towering cranes. It was still very dark outside and it was pretty scary skating through this place. Without realizing it, my map had re-routed me and I had skated 30 miles on an inland road that was parallel to the coast highway that I was supposed to be on. When I finally realized I was off course, I readjusted my map and bee-lined it back to the Pacific Coast Highway (PCH).

How far did you skate before taking a break?

After skating 50 miles I stopped at a coffee shop to rest. All I had left was $10, so I bought a coffee and a bagel. Afterwards I changed my socks and started skating again. My plan was to skate another 25 miles before taking another break. I got to 25 miles and decided that I was going to continue and do 50 miles. I wanted to see how long I could go and ended up skating non-stop until I reached San Diego.

The route Caleb skated from Long Beach to San diego.

Did you skate with all your stuff?

Yes. I had my backpack that weighed around 25 pounds. In my backpack I had my cloths, all my gear, a whole bunch of PB&J’s that I made, some tangerines, some trail mix, some water and coffee. It was so heavy! I was super worried about the pack and was afraid it was going to stop me. Near the end of the skate my back was hurting. I was holding my pack strap over my head and pulling it up to take the weight off my back.

What was the coastal route like?

I honestly didn’t know what to expect when I began my skate. The PCH ended up being beautiful and the weather was perfect. Most of the time I skated on a very smooth bike lane on the side of the highway.

Once you entered San Diego County you had to go through Camp Pendleton Marine Base, how was that?

To go through the base on a bike or on skates you have to register with them. You need to do it seven days in advance and I only did it two days ahead of time so I was rejected at the gate. Since they turned me away I had to change my route and skate on the shoulder of Interstate 5.

Skating along a six lane Interstate for 8 miles was really terrifying. The cars and semis were flying past me. This is the only part of the Interstate were it is legal to ride a bicycle on the shoulder. Luckily the shoulder was really smooth and easy to skate on. After 8 miles I was able to go back on the trail again. The rest of the way I skated through a state park that looked like a post-apocalyptic vast open space of nothingness.

Skating along the Pacific Coast Highway during his century skate.

How was skating on hills between Oceanside and San Diego?

Skating on the PCH between Oceanside and San Diego was a bit more difficult because of the hills. It was late afternoon and there was a nice breeze coming off the ocean. I was really enjoying skating through all the beautiful beach towns and people watching. However, I was starting to get physically worn down.

The sun was setting right when I was about to skate up the massive hill on Route 1 into the Torrey Pines area of San Diego. Several People warned me that there would be a big hill at the end of the skate. In my mind though I was like “whatever dude, I’ve skated up big hills”. But this hill was so freaking big and took me nearly an hour to skate up it. I had already skated 100 miles before going up this hill. Once I ascended to the summit and saw San Diego in the distance I began to celebrate my victory.

Soon after I realized my GPS quit working and I had no idea where I was going. At this point I was just trying to see how many miles I could push before my body was done. I ended up skating all the way down a trail to Sea World. By the time I got there I had logged 121.33 miles in 12 hours and 54 minutes and was officially done. I had tried to make it to 125 miles, but my ankles were too sore from the vibrations of the roads.

What did you do when you got into San Diego?

When I arrived to Sea World I called my friend Dakota Richardson, who is a blader from Des Moines that lives in San Diego. He met me at a Denny’s near where I was at and we had a huge meal. I stayed with Dakota at his parent’s house in South Park for the rest of my time in San Diego. It was a really nice area and staying with them was one of the coolest parts of the whole trip!

His dad is a renewable energy engineer and his parents grew all their own food and cooked family meals everyday. All organic, all home cooked and eaten at the dinner table. All that food was better then any meals I paid for during the entire trip. The whole time I was there we had family meals together, played board games and hung out. It was such a super sick time.

Street skating in San Diego. Edit by Dakota Richardson.

Did you do any more skating in San Diego?

The next day I big wheel bladed around Balboa Park with Dakota. Then that night I met up with the San Diego big wheel bladers and skated Balboa Park again. They were all really cool dudes to skate and hang out with. The lightening at Balboa Park was really rad, and there were still lots of pedestrians walking around there at night. I was in San Diego for four days and spent the time skating around downtown and heading to all the beach towns to skate on their boardwalks.

How did you enjoy San Diego?

San Diego was really low key. It was almost like a life reset where I was able to relax and rewind. It was the complete opposite of Los Angeles.

Caleb taking in the majestic view of the Pacific Ocean in San Diego

Taking in the view

Waves splashing

So then you flew to Austin. What was the first thing you did there?

When I arrived in Austin I skated from the airport to Andrew Broom’s apartment. He was sick but that evening he drove me to Playland Skating Rink for adult night. His car was falling apart though really bad. I skated really hard at Playland for two hours and then skated 15 miles back to his apartment. It was a pretty brutal skate because I was really worn out.

How many miles had you skated so far on the trip?

I hit 400 miles of skating on my trip when I was in Austin. I ended up getting sick from Andrew while I was there, but didn’t want to become a burden on anyone. So even though I was sick, I drank a lot of beer and hung out. I don’t really drink much anymore, so it was fun and a change of pace.

One day we took a road trip to Waco to go street skating. I met Josh Glowicki and Fritz Peitzner from Dallas there. I didn’t have aggressive skates with me but it was still pretty sick to skate with those dudes.

The metaphorical finish line of Caleb’s journey. Photo by Joseph Gammill.

Fakie roll down the ramp of mystery

The metaphorical finish line of Caleb’s journey

And you went to the big ramp in Austin?

Oh yea, the ramp of mystery, that was the metaphorical finish line of the whole journey. I had already done everything I wanted to, I had gotten over the girl, the same girl from last time I was in Austin. So I got over her and did the century skate, I wanted my first century title, which I got. I went to a museum, coffee shop, a nice place to eat and a roller rink in every city I went to. I shed a bunch of skin and became a new me.

We went to that ramp and it was pretty huge. I went right to the top of it and rolled down it without even thinking. I went right back to the top and fakie bombed it. It was gnarly, with broken concrete, but it felt good. It felt like I wasn’t afraid of anything anymore and I could do anything I wanted in my life. Then I went home and didn’t blade at all in February which was weird because in January I bladed over 400 miles

Caleb with a mute grab into the Ramp of Mystery filmed by Anthony Medina

http://bigwheelblading.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/caleb-final.mp4

Why did you take February off?

I’ve had chronic injures that I never let heal. Caitlin is a certified occupational therapy assistant and helps people with injuries. When I was in LA she asked me when was the last time I took a break from skating and I couldn’t tell her, because I don’t take any breaks. So she told me I needed to take a break to let my body recover.

Later on in the trip when I was in Waco, Texas I was talking to Josh Glowicki and he told me if there is something in your life that you love, then try not doing it for 30 days and see how you feel about it after those 30 days. I took this as a sign and didn’t skate the whole month of February. I kind of cheated though because February is only 28 days!

And now you are back on the blades again?

Yes, I turned 28-years-old a couple of days ago and I wanted to skate 280-miles in March but the weather has been kind of shitty!

Caleb night skating in downtown Des Moines. Edit by Bruce James Bale.

Of all the cities you have skated in, which is the best for big wheel blading?

Des Moines! I am serious, the whole time I skated these major cities, I paid attention to the garbage, the traffic and the way the cities were designed. I started to miss Des Moines. It is big enough but small enough. It is clean and it’s nice. In fact Des Moines is so nice that I had to do one last skate before I started my month of no skating.

Did you have any bad things happen to you on the trip?

I did leave my camera in Minneapolis and had to have it mailed to me, so I didn’t have my good film camera for my first six days in LA. I also was pulled over by the cops in LA for skating through an intersection too fast and ended up getting a warning ticket. It was so funny, they pulled me over and started running my ID and I was just rambling on about rollerblading because I was a little bit nervous.

I had my backpack on, was shirtless and sweaty. It was a female cop and I was just like “pull out your phone!” and I had here look at the Big Wheel Blading article about me skating in the RAGBRAI race. I had her pull it up on her phone and told her all about RAGBRAI. I think she just wanted me to stop talking so she let me go with a warning.

Caleb in downtown Minneapolis. Photo by Mike Lufhlom.

What are your skating plans for the rest of this year?

My next distance goal is 150 miles and once I’ve achieved that; I will attempt skating 200 miles. I’m going to skate RAGBRAI again in July, but this year I’m going to do it really hardcore. I’m going to try and make a big commotion and get some momentum coming from it for myself. After the race I am flying to Anchorage, Alaska. I’m going to be there for three months to blade and work on a fishing boat to save up money.

A lady at my coffee shop has a friend who lives in Anchorage and he has his own fishing boat. He told her the fishing season starts in July, but if I come up there at the end of July I would still be able to get a job within a day by just going around and asking for one. I would like to meet up with bladers up there but I don’t know any. I’m definitely bringing my big wheel blades and my aggressive skates.

After I’m done working in Alaska I will spend a week camping at White Sands National Park outside Albuquerque, New Mexico. The family I stayed with in San Diego have a house in Costa Rica so I will be going there for a month starting November 6th. I plan on spending a month in their house and getting adjusted, before I start backpacking across South America on my blades. I want to meet and blade with different skaters around South America so please contact me.

Links

To keep up Caleb’s adventures follow him on Facebook and Instagram.

To see more skating edits check out Bruce James Bale’s Vimeo page, Dakota Richardson’s YoutTube page and Anthony Medina’s YouTube page.

For more great photography visit the Instagram pages of Mike Lufholm, Joseph Gammill, Mashael ALObaiden and Cletus Kuhn.

For information on Oysi frames visit oysius.com. Also follow them on Facebook and Instagram.

Caleb Smith Goes on an Epic Winter Skate Adventure Throughout the USA Caleb Smith is an aggressive, urban and distance skater from Des Moines, Iowa. This past winter he had some time off work and decided to make a trip and get his century title before turning 28.

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topicprinter · 5 years

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Hey all,With Christmas right around the corner, I understand things can be a bit hectic. Willing to help where I can! Ask your questions. In the meantime take a look at the tips below.Growing Your Social Media Accounts Take Time - Please do not get discouraged when you first start your account. These things take time. Don't expect to gain 1,000 followers overnight unless you're someone famous or already have an audience. Most of the people starting off don't have this and they have to work at it daily. The best advice I can give you is don't overthink every single post. Get your content out, and move on to other business activities. I promise if you post daily, and work at your account for 90 days straight you'll see results. Picture social media as going to the gym. If you continue to go to the gym for 90 days straight you'll start seeing results. If you start eating better and going to the gym you'll start to see even more results in 90 days. The same thing with social media - Keep working hard and implementing new strategies and you'll start to see your account to flourish.Where to start? - Make sure your main photo, biography, and all information are filled out on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter or any other platform you use. No one likes to view an account that doesn't have the basics down. You need to understand that each platform you use is vital for new business. There are millions and millions of people on all social media platforms and they are always looking to buy services or products. Here's an example of a good biography: https://www.instagram.com/thomaspainting/ - It's simple and straight to the point of what he does. Don't over complicate your biography either. You want things simple. People LOVE simple.Have 6 to 9 posts ready to go - This one is a good one. Most people that start new accounts don't have any content and they think putting one piece of content is good enough. Businesses who've been around for years start a new Instagram or FB and they do the same thing. You need to make sure your IG, FB or whatever platform you use has 6 to 9 posts. Doesn't matter if you posted it on the same day. When you get someone on your account there is content to be seen and the consumers love that. They want to know your active. So have 6 to 9 posts ready to go right off the bat so it looks solid when you post. Make sure your copywriting & hashtags are good to go. You can test short copy or long copy. Test emojis on some post and others no emojis. Put hashtags in the actual post or try them in the first comment. There is no wrong way.Engagement Groups/Pods - This is a bit of a touchy subject, but I'm going to go in-depth on it anyways. This reminds me of the follow for follow method that I will post below as well. Engagement pods are groups you can join on Telegram, Instagram, Facebook, Whatsapp, Twitter & other platforms to get engagement on your posts (likes, comments/shares). It's that simple. These groups promote likes & comments/shares that will promote your post and get you higher organic exposure. Example: Say you post in the lawn care business niche and you want to rank for a hashtag called #lawncare where it has 3.5M posts. With more likes/shares you'll get on that first page which will potentially get you more business/exposure. These groups help a lot of new/growing businesses and its more of a hustle than anything. I've never had any accounts banned or anyone shadowbanned unless they try to take advantage of the system. Instagram doesn't randomly ban you. You have to be doing something highly against their ToS to get shadowbanned. To find these groups > Google.com > "Niche + engagement group" and I'm sure you'll find em. As of right now, I don't use engagement groups. I focus a bit more on content, and proper hashtags/copywriting.Alt Text Feature on Instagram - I wanted to touch a bit on this subject. I believe this feature was announced at the end of 2018 and I still see a lot of businesses not using it. Alternative text for photos that provide a description of a given image. Those descriptions can be read by screen readers so visually impaired readers can hear about the photos in their feed. This is a big one. Visually impaired readers are customers too. This is a big feature to have, and even then if the photo doesn't load the actual alt text shows. I know on WordPress formats alt text is a form of SEO. Although I'm not entirely sure if this helps with any SEO it would be shocking if your photo didn't rank higher if you did alt text compared to users that don't use alt text. It just makes sense to me so just to be safe. Always get your alt text done on Instagram or any other platform that offers it.Breaking down Hashtags - Let's say you create custom jewelry. The most used hashtag is #jewelry which has 40M posts. A new account will never rank on that hashtag. You need to niche down. Now let's say you go for a hashtag #wirewrappendants which will have 40K posts. You have a higher chance of ranking under a 40K post hashtag. You can use this for anything. Don't go for the big hashtags or common hashtags like #love try #thisislove - Just examples but this is a huge tip and should be utilized. You don't need any fancy tools, you just need to check out each hashtag on Instagram or any platform out there. Following this method will get you exposure. Once your account starts to get bigger you can start targeting bigger hashtags.Follow for Follow method - When you first start out on any platform you have zero followers. To speed this process up you need to follow people in your niche. With new accounts, you can follow 15-20 accounts per hour for the next 4-5 hours and you won't have to worry about any type of action block or being locked. This method is more for Instagram. For Twitter, you can follow up to 25 accounts per hour. Remember to follow in your niche. If you are a product for every day people start around your area and then think bigger. This method works. If you really want to speed things up start commenting/liking other people's recent photos and top photos. People get pumped when they see a new comment and they tend to check out the account that liked their photo. Be social to gain engagement. Its honestly that simple and this method does take time but it pays off in the end.Giveaways - This is a huge and fast way to get engagement on your profile. Just be careful when you run these and don't run them so often. When you do that your number of followers will grow but your engagement/sales won't stay with the number of followers. This is a good way but just don't do giveaways consistently. Maybe for Christmas or for another holiday is good.Growing Facebook Pages - I always get this question. Facebook is super hard to grow. The best method I've done for free is you have to add mutual friends + their friends and their friends. Get around 3-4K friends on your Facebook and mass invite them to your page. The amount of real organic engagement you get from that is incredible. I've actually had people buy just from me doing this. I know it sounds insane, but it's a great marketing tool. Just be prepared for long timelines. You have to do this and not worry about your actual Facebook being personal. This method works on Facebook, and I rarely see anyone talk about Facebook pages so I hope this helps!Google My Business - I can write a full post just on this alone but I thought I should mention it. GMB is a free tool to use and it helps bring up your business to local customers. Its an incredibly powerful tool, and if you work hard and get reviews that alone can be a solid platform. This is more for storefronts. Regardless if you didn't have a storefront I would still grab a GMB and tell users online your story. Something to look into. I hope I have this writing bug in me in a couple of days so I can put out a full guide as well. Let me know in the comments if this is something you'd enjoy?Following what I said above will work. This will get your product or service active and you'll get more business from it. There are two things I want to mention and I need you all to follow when you embark on this journey, The first thing is you need to have patience when you are growing a brand/product or service. Things take time, but I promise if you do this consistent it'll pay off. The other important thing is to stop worrying about your follower count. I would rather be following 400 people and have 200 people following me back and I'm making sales from my social media accounts rather than not make any sales at all.I've been dealing with social media accounts for a long time. This is what I do. This is actually what I implement when I help businesses grow their accounts. I just wanted to give some transparency on the matter, and I hope some of you implement this.I'm always willing to help and put people in the right direction. I'm only one person so please don't get offended if I miss you! Just keep asking :]Ask away!

#/r/entrepreneur #reddit

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simplerperfectionist · 5 years

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Day 1

Today is the first day of an extended social media break which I have chosen to embark on in an attempt to break my addiction, foster my relationship with myself, develop and deepen my focus, clarify my own intellectual and artistic voice, and hopefully vanquish that little goblin that sits in my head and watches me all the time from the projected viewpoint of others. You know that Atwood quote about every woman being a man inside a woman watching herself? I feel like that all the time. She’s nodding to the way in which the internal voyeur is used as a weapon of the patriarchy to get women to subject themselves, and I do feel that in a gendered way sometimes but I also experience it in a more general way, that whatever various audiences I perceive myself to have live constantly inside my head and I am performing for them at all times, even in my thought exercises. Which I suppose is because those audiences only exist within my head. Yes, there are people that follow me on various platforms or friends who consume my #content, but the panel of people that I feel are always watching me and measuring me are simply my own inner critics projected out through these platforms onto the vague digital presences of my friends and acquaintances and a smattering of strangers. Anyway, all of that is to say that my overuse of digitized self publicity has been making me feel like a madwoman and has been actively rewiring the way that my thoughts form and unnecessarily activating my stress responses for, well, honestly probably for years, but most notably for the past year or two.

Lately one of my favorite fantasies is to acquire whatever sum of spare money it will cost me to hire a tech nerd to scour the internet for all of the profiles and accounts and email lists that I have long since forgotten and abandoned which they/I/we can then scrub, delete, and bury. I feel like none of us listened when people were like “whatever you put on the internet exists forever.” I shouldn’t speak for other people. I never listened. It didn’t feel like a big deal! I was a kid and I wanted to know things, and express myself, and keep up with my friends. I didn’t know that it would one day rather haunt me to feel relics of my earlier selves floating about in the ether, available to anyone even remotely more computer savvy than myself. Anyway THAT’S a fun paranoia I generally avoid thinking about for longer than 30 seconds at a time. In truth, I don’t think it matters that much. I mean I can pretty easily freak myself out about it if I think about like A.I. or like dystopian government conspiracies or even the possibility that I could ever end up being someone in a position of notable influence that might motivate people to fuck with me... BUT if I avoid those dark rabbit holes, it really doesn’t matter. What are people gonna do with my old 8tracks playlists? With an etsy shop I forgot about? They’re ghosts of my former selves and dried out seeds of old timeline potentials. Lol.

God, I shouldn’t have mentioned A.I. because now I’m stuck thinking about how you cannot confirm the interiority of anyone at all in the world save for yourself and subsequently I truly could��be the only human being in a world of A.I. and I wouldn’t know. A fun secret is that I have become a truly deeply paranoid person over the past several years and sometimes I freak even myself out with how unhinged I can sound, but I generally handle it pretty well and surrender myself to the knowledge that I don’t know much about the nature of reality, nor do I need to, and whatever thoughts I run with are simply thoughts and are quite harmless. If you’re reading this please do not involuntarily commit me lmao.

Okay the irony of documenting this journey digitally online, specifically on a social media platform, and writing to a nonexistent but theoretically eventually existent audience is NOT lost on me. There’s something comforting about it though. Honestly, I’ve always thought that about writing on tumblr. I used to have a locked blog that was a digital diary of sorts though I believe I’ve since deleted it. There’s something about the blue background I feel like. It’s like writing a letter and sending it out to sea. I guess it’s also the anonymity of the platform. I know a few users on here, but generally I know nothing save that there are other users and I know some of their interests. This feels like a way to be seen without being seen at all. Like talking to the stars at night. Anyway I suppose I could write in my journal instead, but I like the act of typing, and I do have a vague sense that I may someday share this. Also I do think this is helping to ease the withdrawal from the public platforms, which is actually probably the only reason I’m using it.

Enough musings, here’s the nitty gritty of the update: I've deleted Instagram and Twitter from my phone. I don't remember my logins for them so it's a fairly effective barrier in that there are a variety of steps I would need to go through in order to get back on. Twitter auto logged out on my laptop so there's a similar barrier there. I've yet to log out of insta on my laptop but I suppose I should do that as well. I've rearranged the apps on my phone and I suspect I will another 8 or so times as my relationship to the device changes. I desperately want to throw it away and get something simpler, but I’m still too tied to it at the moment. I really want to be free of it. I hate my stupid phone. I want to not feel like I’ll die without it, like I’ll start living on another planet. Honestly? I probably will! And that would be good for me. But I can’t shake the feeling that something bad would happen if I did, that if I stopped looking at everything happening out in the “world,” if I stopped observing what all of these people I’ve labeled as friends are doing, then I, what? Would lose touch with reality? Would become too different from them? Might dare to be happy in this chaotic time on earth?

I actually know exactly what unplugging fully would do. At first I’ll have to go through withdrawals, but once I make it through, the noise in my head will quiet, the sense of being watched will severely diminish if not die, I will become deeply grounded and present in my own surroundings, observing them honestly from my own perspective rather than filtering them through learned lenses, I will stop questioning my own artistic and intellectual worth, instead trusting myself because I will become my primary resource of knowledge and creation and discernment, I will invest more deeply in the relationships that exist in my physical reality and the distant relationships in which I and the other are equally invested in maintaining as I’ll no longer have the illusion of relationships that subsist on passive observance and occasional expressions of support via likes/comments/reacts. I don’t know WHY I’m afraid of that!!!! That’s what I want!!! I want friendships based on time spent together, I want letters exchanged, post cards, phone calls, I don’t want impersonal pictures of peoples’ lunch orders or concert videos. I don’t want to be known that way and I don’t want others to know me that way. I don’t want to meaninglessly keep tabs on people, I want the magic of wondering about them for months or years and randomly encountering them. I want to live in a world of magic. I DO live in a world of magic, I want to clear enough space to let it work.

I fell into musing again lol. The rest of the update is that I still have facebook but I never check it. I’m keeping tumblr for now because it’s still useful to me in various ways. I have snapchat as well, but I only really use it for two group chats. I still have costar, venmo, and spotify but I rarely use the social aspects of them. I need to purge my email, but that’s not a job for today. I also need to end some subscriptions which is less about social media but they still feel like digital ties. I thought nextdoor would be a good form of plugging into the local buzz, but it’s honestly just annoying so I need to get off of that too. I’m planning to start reading the local papers and avoiding all other news. Hopefully this will guide me towards community engagement and local politics instead of 24 hr national outrage. Oh I’m also still listening to podcasts if that counts, which I feel like it does. Okay! Well,

Signing off until next time,

This has been E. G.

0 notes

libgds · 5 years

Text

I had a great night’s sleep. The windows were open and the night was cool.

My dogs are loving being back on the three a day walk schedule. This is a large campground with roomy sites, so we are able to walk just in the campground and see new stuff each time. Being a Thursday, a lot of new campers arrived, but with over 350 sites it does not feel crowded. I imagine that will change come Friday.

Not that we just plan on staying in the campground. This ain’t no KOA, we have a whole park to explore!

Breakfast was late because the girls are not morning people and Mary and I divided the labor into I cook and she cleans most of the time. This was one of those times and my struggle was figuring out the logistics of cooking for six on a 1’x1’ grill. I dirtied a few extra pans trying to figure it out.

Sorry, Mary.

But breakfast was a success because the kids ate.

Today’s mission was fishin’

I’m embarrassed just writing that sentence, but this is a free blog so it stays!

I do not have a fishing license. I do not want a fishing license. My eye condition does not impede me from a lot of things, but it does impede fishing. I have blind spots in the center of my vision, so the bobber is always “disappearing” so I cannot tell if I have a bite or the bobber is just lost in a blind spot. Once I do realize it’s a bite, the hook is swallowed and I will have to kill the fish to get it off my hook. It is unpleasant.

So instead, Mary and Dad would take his boat out and I would walk the dogs down to the pier where Mary would be fishing with her youngest, Ashlind while the other two girls were fishing on the boat with Dad.

The pier was by a narrow channel that kayaks and canoes use to go from lake to lake. I stayed on a shaded picnic table by the channel and noticed a bunch of swallowtail butterflies on the bank.

I had to get a picture or fifty.

As I approached, they all took flight and fluttered around me like a scene in a Disney movie. I have been to butterfly exhibits in botanical gardens and had not seen this many butterflies in one spot. It was magical.

I let them land and tried again. Then again, and I kept doing it until they got used to me and I was able to get my camera inches away from some of them. (I also have some videos of the swarm on my Instagram @libgds because this is a free blog site and the ability to post videos cost $$$.)

A dude who had been at the boat ramp randomly blowing bubbles made his way to the pier, so Mary and Ashlind decided to join me at the channel. Seriously, Mary said it felt like the guy was being eccentric to start a conversation and instead of finding it charming, the four year old found him creepy.

I pointed out the butterflies to Ashlind and after a little bit of time, she caught one. Four year olds are not a patient bunch. Ashlind is not a particularly patient girl EXCEPT when it comes to catching animals. She catches frogs, lizards, and feral kittens all the time. It’s pretty impressive. After that, it was back to fishing and she was able to catch a few little bluegill not much bigger than a silver dollar.

Dad and the older two girls finally finished up (actually, it was more of a bathroom situation) and came to our channel to switch passengers. This is when I found out I would be babysitting. Luckily the girls were done with fishing and wanted to go back to the site. Even luckier, Mary gave me her keys to take us all back in her car, because hours relaxing in the shade had made me want to take it to the next level with a nap instead of hiking back.

Our late breakfast had taken us past having lunch and into early dinner zone. All the food was in Mary’s camper and I was having trouble with her keys. Instead of a nap, I had hours of “we’re hungry” and me explaining that unless they wanted dog food or mayonnaise, there was nothing I could do to help them until Mary and Dad finished fishing. Honestly, I thought Ashlind would bring them home sooner, but she pulled out her patience reserves. I gave Mary’s keys another shot (one lock needed to be turned the opposite direction than I had been doing, but the right way had a strong resistance I had not tried hard enough to get past.)

I was a hero! And as an aunt who wanted to remain the hero, I did not go in and monitor what they gorged on. #Priorities

I got a roaring fire going (First match, BTW) and not more than ten minutes after getting the camper open, Dad and Mary finally came back. The fishing was good, but not many of any size. So if you are looking for fishing spot recommendations, take that into account.

Mary made some amazing ham sliders for dinner, so it was my turn for clean up. Because I thought my water still smelled like anti-freeze, I did dishes in her camper. While I was doing that, Freckles and Lester decided I was gone forever and broke through my screen door. Dad was somehow able to quickly catch them, but so much for gentle breezes in Old Unreliable.

Guys, this camper does not need your help being broken.

We had some brief excitement with a cop car rolling through and then five minutes later two cop cars with their lights on tearing out of the campground, so if there was a fugitive loose in the park, let me know.

Or not. I’ve still got the weekend.

Butterfly Party I had a great night’s sleep. The windows were open and the night was cool. My dogs are loving being back on the three a day walk schedule.

0 notes

theconservativebrief · 6 years

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Instagram can be a stressful place. It’s full of perfect bodies, perfect faces, perfect vacations, perfect children, perfect lives. Of course, none of those people are really as flawless as they seem when you’re mindlessly scrolling through your feed. Still, it can take a psychological toll, at least on me.

Which is why Grombre is such a corrective. The account, now 29,000 followers strong, features women of all ages with various stages of gray and graying hair. “Grombre” is a play on “ombré,” a trend in hair color that was ubiquitous a few years ago. The look could be anything from a gradual color gradation to a more severe dip-dyed look with a demarcated line between the two colors. In this case, gray is one of the colors.

I have a head full of gray hiding and fighting to come out from under the 20-plus years and thousands of dollars’ worth of blonde hair dye I’ve been heaping on it. The idea of ever stopping is terrifying to me. But this feed full of beaming, confident women has started to make me see it differently. As I wrote in my piece on the rebranding of anti-aging skin care, the best way to normalize aging is to portray what it really looks like. And wow, does Grombre do that, in the best possible way.

The account features an ex-Olympian, women who have gone through addiction, new moms, and women who are annoyed that their husbands are going silver without even giving it a second thought. So many of them have even embraced their grays to the extent that their Instagram handles reflect it: young_and_gray, saltandpeperpixie, gray.and.beyond. It’s a place for celebration and for commiseration during the growing-out process, which can take years.

Grombre is the brainchild of Martha Truslow Smith, a 26-year-old graphic designer who found her first gray hair at 14. She decided to stop dyeing at 24 and started Grombre in July 2016. The page grew slowly until it received a mention in a Refinery29 story. Since then, its followers have shot up from 8,000 in July to 29,000 now.

Truslow Smith doesn’t want the account to be perceived as a judgment call against women who choose to still dye their hair, because she understands there are many reasons that they do it: security, confidence, self-care. “I am addressing the women who are really feeling ashamed and embarrassed, or might even have allergies to hair dye but are still doing it. I want to ask them why,” she says.

Grombre founder Martha Truslow Smith. Martha Truslow Smith

Here, Truslow Smith talks about what the reaction has been like to her going gray in her 20s and the feedback she gets about the Grombre account.

This interview has been edited and condensed.

Cheryl Wischhover

How did you come up with “Grombre”?

Martha Truslow Smith

If you ever see someone growing their hair out, especially in those first couple of months, it looks like a mistake. We’re not exactly used to seeing people with half-dyed brown hair and then tons of roots. It’s this question of, “Did she miss her hair appointment? What’s going on?” So that whole process is awkward, it’s long, it’s uncomfortable, it’s vulnerable, and there’s not really a word for it. If you are growing out your gray roots, essentially it’s gray at the roots and then your old dye color at the end.

Cheryl Wischhover

So tell me why you started Grombre.

Martha Truslow Smith

I’m 26 years old, which I’m sure comes as a surprise to most people. They probably think I’m a bit older, but that’s kind of the point for me. A couple of years ago, I was flipping through one of my mom’s fashion magazines. Every advertisement was like, “Oh, get rid of your wrinkles.” Basically, the language was, “You should be ashamed of being who you are.” And I was like, “Dang. I’m only 26 and I feel shameful of that. What is this going to look like when I’m older? And I’m only going to get older.”

What started off in high school as, “Oh, I want a purple streak in my hair. It’s self-expression and fun,” turned into college-age, “Oh, my goodness, my roots are showing. What am I going to do?” I just kind of ignored the deep anxiety around that three-week cycle until one day I stopped myself and asked a question I hadn’t yet thought to ask myself, which was, “Why do I feel this way? Why do I feel so shameful about this? Am I going to lock myself into believing that my value has peaked in my early 20s and then the rest of my life is me trying to maintain this facade that doesn’t describe who I am and the life that I’m living?”

Cheryl Wischhover

How old were you then?

Martha Truslow Smith

So that’s when I was 24. I stopped dyeing my hair. Terrifying process, especially in your 20s. I scoured the internet, and I was like, “Okay, there’s got to be some sort of resource out there.” But there were all of these hot 20-something Kardashian-looking girls dying their hair, what they called “granny hair.” And I was like, “Okay, that does not help at all.”

I said, “Well, you know what? I’m just going to start an Instagram account, just kind of as a passion project.” I was shocked when I had 20 followers after a couple of months. Oh, my gosh. There are 20 other women out there that feel the same way that I do? And it just kind of grew from there. It was very organic.

Cheryl Wischhover

How many submissions do you get?

Martha Truslow Smith

That is actually a tricky element that I’m trying to navigate. I can get anywhere from 25 to 150 in a day, which is a lot. It’s wonderful, because these women aren’t just passive followers. They are really into it, and that’s amazing. But I don’t want to be that account that posts so much that after a week of following, people are like, “Okay, this is too much.” You know, you get disengagement from that. Then, also, I have a day job, so I can’t sit on Instagram and post all day.

I really make an effort to show different stages of the growth, different walks of life, different stories. There was one recently where this woman wrote, “I lost my son and he doesn’t have the privilege of going gray in his life, so I’m going to do that for him.” And how beautiful is that? This is our life that we’re living, and we are completely saturated in this culture that is constantly telling us to mask that life up and be someone who we once were. But what’s wrong with the person we are now?

Cheryl Wischhover

What are some other really memorable stories that you’ve heard in the last two years?

Martha Truslow Smith

There have been a couple of cancer survivors or women who know of someone that suffered from cancer and then decided to shave their head and just not dye it again. That’s been remarkable. And women whose little girls are struggling with a health condition or their own self-image, and they’re worried that they’re going to look up to their mom and be like, “Well, she can’t even accept herself,” and then follow along a path that they themselves are not happy as grown women.

And along that line, some mothers of young boys, where boys are like, “Mom, you can’t not dye your hair. You’re going to look old.” So it’s a lesson to them to kind of say, “No, I’m your mother and I’m really valuable,” and be that example in their life. I think it’s wonderful.

Cheryl Wischhover

What stage of gray are you at now?

Martha Truslow Smith

If you saw me at a distance, you would probably think I just had really shiny brown hair, and you get closer and you realize I am sprinkled with white hairs. I’ve got these — honestly, I think they’re awesome — white streaks growing randomly on my head. May is when I chopped off all [the rest] of my dye. So my two-year growth just ended.

Cheryl Wischhover

In your real life, what kind of reactions do you get to your gray hair?

Martha Truslow Smith

I get stopped occasionally by women who say, “Oh, if my hair looked like yours, then I would do it.” And I’m like, “Honey, how do you know that your hair doesn’t look like mine? I know it’s a leap of faith, but you have to do that if that’s really what your heart is tugging at.”

I got married in March, and most of my friends live elsewhere. I haven’t been posting too many photos of my hair, and I hadn’t been open about the fact that I’ve been running this Instagram account. At my wedding, all of my close friends were really seeing me for the first time with gray hair. Obviously, there was a little bit of shock. They’re really proud of me and proud to see me love myself in a way that I hadn’t necessarily before. Because the process is really challenging. It’s not for the faint of heart.

Cheryl Wischhover

In what way?

Martha Truslow Smith

All the ways! It’s really hard. You’re going to have good days, and you’re going to have bad days, and then you’re going to have really bad days. But on those really bad days, it’s really important to remember that as bad as you feel, on the positive scale, you’re going to feel that good once you get to a point of letting your hair grow.

Each woman’s journey is their own. I’ll speak to my own: You feel self-conscious. You feel like there’s a spotlight on you, and you feel like you have to explain yourself until one day, you have a conversation with yourself and you’re like, “No. I don’t have to explain this to anyone.” This is something that a lot of people don’t understand, and even those who are really well-intentioned will say things that are accidentally hurtful. You can’t hold it against them because really, you are on the front lines right now of a big cultural shift.

Cheryl Wischhover

Can you give me an example of some of those hurtful things?

Martha Truslow Smith

I had someone tell me, “Oh, don’t worry. Your gray hair doesn’t bother me.” They were trying to comfort me and I’m like, “Oh, god. I can sleep at night. Thank god. Oh, phew, good to know.” Stuff like that. It stabs at you in little ways, especially if you’re already having a hard day.

So you have a choice to make: Am I going to let that opinion affect my choices, or am I going to wade through the waters and figure out who I am and keep going? I feel like women specifically, we’re not only bombarded with all of these things that we have to fix about ourselves, but we constantly just get fixated with our roles. “You’re a mom. You’re a wife. This is your job,” and that’s kind of it. But really, we’re these multidimensional, beautiful creatures living big lives that should be lived even bigger. So, yeah, I focus on gray hair, but it’s so much bigger than that.

Cheryl Wischhover

What do other women tell you?

Martha Truslow Smith

I get a lot of women who write in and say, “I really want to start letting my hair grow out, but my husband won’t let me.” Or, “My husband wants me to be blonde.” Or, “My husband’s scared of having a wife that looks ‘older than him.’” It just breaks my heart. And I’m like, “Girl, you’ve got to do it if that’s what you want to do.”

Cheryl Wischhover

Is there anything else you want to say about this little mini movement you have going?

Martha Truslow Smith

I just want to emphasize that it’s not dyed hair versus not-dyed hair. It’s really a journey of, “Are you unhappy? Is it because of your hair? Okay. Now address that.” That’s really the bottom-line question that I’m trying to get women to ask themselves.

And I’m so proud of all of these women that are in their own lives, kind of isolated. They might be the only women in their friend group, and that’s kind of where Grombre comes in. They don’t have the support in their daily lives or are getting negative feedback from people that they love: their mothers, their sisters. They come and find support from each other, and just these women reaching out constantly to each other and very genuinely, I think, is making us better people.

Original Source -> Gray hair is still taboo for women. This popular Instagram account celebrates it.

via The Conservative Brief

#IFTTT #The Conservative Brief

0 notes

antoine58-blog · 7 years

Text

Kik Messenger

QUICK: Kik is handsdown the fastest, most dependable smartphone messenger obtainable. Kik messenger has a built in net browser in it. With which you can go to different websites all while you're in the Kik app. However, this does not imply that the message shall be faraway from the recipient's cellphone. Kik Messenger is an app for immediate messaging at no cost for Android, iOS and Home windows Telephone with which it is possible for you to to talk free with different contacts that even have this app installed of their gadgets.

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Until I've interpreted their postings and web site flawed and the BB user will also have to download an app to make it work. Nice designs: Utilizing Kik could be very straightforward because of the small quantity of buttons and windows featured on this utility.

Your KiL username is your identification and never your telephone number so select properly and select one thing distinctive. But I be more then glad if as an alternative of having the built-in kik camera we will use regular phone camera when we hit the digital camera choice in the new kik if its doable.

When you're a dad or mum, you should know that Kik is actually intended for customers 17 years old and above. Moreover, Android customers with this application can block and report any person of alternative— in case of any discrepancy. Just about discover your cellular gadgets interface in a much bigger display and experience Android gaming like never earlier than!

PERSONAL: Your Kik username not your cellphone quantity is your Kik identification, so you can keep complete management of your privacy. The first time you attempt to use an app, you'll be requested to sign into Google Play as a way to obtain the app. I've despatched 2 emails, every time, just asking for an evidence or guidelines to be added to ban notifications to tell us what is and is not acceptable.

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finding-peace · 8 years

Text

back to reality.

I figured we'd be going back to the house. Only then I realized how beautiful it was around here. We ran near a lake and the view was so splendid I had to stop to admire it. It would be breathtaking it I needed to breath. Then I remembered the bad news I had just learned. Literally less than 30 minutes ago. How could I have forgotten? Because I needed human blood. I forgot about my family the minute I felt the thirst inside me.

I felt disgusted with myself. Then I felt sad. I wasn't the one forgetting about my family. I was merely a prisoner of the thirst who, I guessed, would control me from now on. I was so scared that I would forget about them and myself and become more and more of a monster. Just like an alcoholic. I wanted to cry but no tear seemed to find its way to my eyes. I was standing there, facing this magnificent view, miserable and dry-eyed.

After a while I realized Aslan was standing a few meters behind me, observing me. “How about some privacy?” I asked aggressively. Silence was the only answer I got. “I think can manage on my own. I can find my way back. And would you even be sad if I just left?”

“Actually, I can't leave you. You are my responsibility” he said.

“Your responsibility?” I yelled, angrily.

“Well I turned you into a vampire. You'd think I'd let you go free and kill people randomly?” He said. You could sense the cynicism in his voice.

“So… I'm a monster... Are you any better? Why do you even care if I kill people?”

“Right now, you can't control yourself but you can learn. And I have the responsibility to teach you.” I hissed like a cat and it seemed to amuse him.

“You know, we have rules. If I leave you alone to kill people, I’ll have to answer to your crimes.” He just couldn’t see that I didn’t want to communicate right now. Yet my curiosity was aroused. And I was angry.

“Why the hell did you just let me kill a poor man and hide his body then?” I shouted, almost cried. He sighed.

“You misunderstood me. You can kill people. But on your own, you will easily kill one every day, at best every other day. But with me, you can learn to manage with one a week.” One a week, 52 a year. 520 a decade. I’d be a serial killer basically. I don’t really know why I had never thought about that before. I used to think that I would enjoy being a vampire without thinking about the killing of people. I guess I thought the world was so rotten and humans weren’t the best. But now I couldn’t decide whether the man whose life I had just taken was a good or a bad person.

“Listen.” He was making an enormous effort to communicate with me. “Vampires can survive off animal blood. But do animals deserve death more than humans in your opinion?” Not really. On that issue, I totally agreed with him. My face wouldn’t relax though.

“Not every human is bad though” I muttered. “Would you have killed me? How do you make the difference?”

“Common sense.”

“Yeah? Tell me, how does common sense tell me that man was a bad person?”

“I just know it. I live here. This guy abused his daughter. But you just need to go around and look. Is that guy touching random women’s butts? Is he a drunk? Did he just talk bad to an old person? Is she a drug-addict stripper?” I growled.

“Look around and you’ll see. Bad people are everywhere.” I agreed with him overall except on one point.

“How can you mention a stripper as a bad person? They’re just victims of society dude. You’re not bad unless you hurt others.” The angry feminist inside me had gotten out. Aslan raised his eyebrows and vaguely rolled his eyes. If he didn’t agree with me on that, he’d have to hear me on this for a long long time.

I hoped he wasn’t lying about that man. The idea that I had just killed an abusive father had brought me relief. Feminism. I was calmed down. But I still had to mourn. My face was closed. I sat down facing the lake to admire the view and reflect. Aslan was still standing behind me and I didn’t mind.

Hours later, I finally stood up and let him know with a look that we could go back. And so, we ran to the house. Once there, I wondered how I’d occupy myself. I felt emotionally tired, not physically. I wondered if they could sleep. Was I condemned to be awake for eternity? Sleep was literally a passion of mine as a human. It seemed that Aslan could read my mind because he felt the need to tell me “vampires don’t need to sleep by the way so don’t try to.”

I had so many questions but right now all I wanted was to rest. I went and locked myself in the bedroom, laid on the bed and closed my eyes.

…

The next morning, I finally decided to get out of the room. I had heard Aslan moving all night long. At some point, he had turned the TV on but had turned it off when they started talking about the crash. Other than that, he read. I heard the pages turn. He didn’t strike me as a great reader but then, I guess, you had to occupy yourself when you had eternity ahead of you.

I got out of the room, dressed like the day before and found him sitting on the couch. It was weird because the day couldn’t be rhythmed by the meals, which we did not need.

“Hey” I said. He raised his head to look at me. “I wonder… do you have a bank account?” He looked at me suspiciously, probably wondering what kind of question that was. “Yeah…?” he answered in way that meant he wanted to know why I asked such a question.

“I’d like it very much if I could order clothes, a phone, a computer, a camera… stuff, whatever.” Aslan seemed a little surprised. Our conversations always seemed to be punctuated with very long silences.

“You know you can’t contact anyone, right? So why do you need a phone?”

“I’d like to take pictures, have an anonym Instagram account, a Twitter account, a Tumblr, whatever. No one would know it was me.”

He looked at me like he didn’t understand a word of what I said. This must've all felt very silly to him but to me it was a matter of maintaining certain habits. I would use a username, never show my face. I would post pictures of trees, lakes, decor, whatever. I would develop my photography techniques and why not become a famous anonymous artist, I would code, I would edit, I would make short films. I could learn how to sew and make my own clothes, I would learn languages with the computer, I would have a blog. I could do all of that anonymously. But I needed to stay active. And to be of the world, somehow. In the online world at least.

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