#inspiration for us all in these contentious times

[sillylotrpolls]

Somehow, it is this silly little blog's 1-year anniversary! I'm just as shocked as you are - actually, almost certainly more shocked - that I'm still posting, albeit rather irregularly of late.

Many thanks to everyone who's voted in a poll, left a funny comment in the tags, or sent in a suggestion. In particular, much love to the regulars who've been hanging around all since last year.

Special shoutouts to the following people, who have all been especially wonderful supporters: @wrecked-cuticles @enide-s-dear @babybat98 @osterby @notagiraffe @269-million @blossomwyvern @lkaluna

And of course, sincere thanks to @jicklet, who graciously reads my drafts and reassures me they're "probably funny if you know what it's about."

The traditional gift for this anniversary is "paper," but I'm going to shamelessly ask for additions to the fanwork and playlist recommendations posts instead. Music about my blorbos in particular makes me very happy. :)

Someday this blog will get tired and figuratively sail into the West, but until that happens, I hope you'll continue to enjoy these silly LotR polls. ♥

[jeffgerstmann]

I'm sick of my favorite old wrestlers who inspired me as a kid turning out to be pieces of shit, if I find out Mick Foley suddenly decided to stump for Trump I'm going to blow up the sun.

They're a bunch of independent contractors who live in states like Florida, which has friendlier tax laws for independent contractors, forcing them to exist outside of the traditional employment system and develop a somewhat different and often more contentious relationship with paying taxes over the years.

They spent the 70s/80s/90s in locker rooms, potentially full of pills and/or steroids, growing increasingly paranoid about the other men in that locker room trying to "take their spot." They've also convinced themselves that they're geniuses and free thinkers who are living a secret life because no one knows what goes on behind the curtain, all those marks think it's real, brother!

They used this secret life and paranoia to create things like "wrestler's courts" and cultures where new guys must bend over backwards to show respect to the veterans or else they'll get hazed out of the building and/or physically beaten up.

They also took a lot of unprotected chair shots.

So let's see, we've got...

paranoia

conspiracy theories

always trying to find a loophole or an edge

frequent head injuries

Shouldn't be a big surprise that so many of these guys lean the way they lean. You can practically hear them sitting down in an airport bar somewhere in this great nation, looking up at the news on the TV, and saying "man, politics, that's the biggest work of them all, brother" like it's the smartest thing anyone has ever said about anything, ever.

In the case of the Undertaker I'm surprised that anyone is surprised? Dude has pretty openly sucked for a long time. Him and his Blue Lives Matter shirts can SUCK IT (wrestling reference, look it up)

[kouyou-arc-when]

ON DAZAI AND EMPATHY: A character study Before you read: Obviously diagnosing any character in fiction seriously is a fool’s errand, but I am a fool, so let’s just do this for amusement. The main thing I desire is to discuss is the extent to which Dazai is capable of various types of empathy, as well as how that influences the way he sees and interacts with others. It will be chaotic and all over the place because I just sat down and wrote this in a fit. Let me explain some factors in analyzing Osamu: The author's intention is clearly to make Dazai's internal world a mystery. Since we don't have enough information, all we can do is hypothesize based on external elements. Generally, across all novels, the only time we’ve seen anything of Dazai’s perspective is in “The Day I picked up Dazai” (Beast continuity) – where he “saves” Oda and tortures that random dude. We don’t hear his thoughts narrated from first-person perspective, unlike many of the other novels.

Now, the crux of the issue. For years, it’s been discussed whether Dazai is a “sociopath”. If we disregard that sociopathy is a very loaded term that can mean a lot of things depending on which specialist you consult, at the very least, Dazai does strike me as someone with a unique expression of empathy, who could qualify for Anti-social personality disorder or a related condition. I will abandon the idea that Dazai is a sociopath, and use actual concepts that have legitimacy within this post. Whether Dazai could qualify for ASPD or any other disorder is something I've seen discussed for many years within the fandom. I'll try to analyze how these concepts could apply to him. In regards to mental health and Kafka (since it is a contentious matter) and the validity of any of this: I understand that a lot of people are resistant to the idea that any of the characters could have conditions more complex than depression, anxiety, and PTSD. This is my counterpoint. I have noticed that Asagiri emulates a lot of characteristics commonly attributed to “geniuses”, without confirming or potentially even intending to write these characters as having a specific condition.

A great example is Ranpo – who will read as autistic to any decent mental health professional (Untold Origins). Did Asagiri intentionally sit down and say “I am going to write an autistic character”? Maybe not. However, the “genius” stereotype is profoundly connected to visions of autism, even if people aren’t aware of it. Take people like Sherlock, House and L from Death Note – they’re commonly believed to be autistic by fans. All of these characters borrow from the same group of traits, that just happens to correspond with a certain condition - savants have always been popular in fiction. It's been known that the favorite type of character for Asagiri is the “prodigy” type, and he has used geniuses across fiction for inspiration of most notable intelligent characters within BSD. For Ranpo it was Sherlock, for Fyodor it was Joker from the Dark Knight (a classic sociopath), for Dazai it was Patrick from The Mentalist.

What I’m trying to say is, you can see various personality disorders connected to the portrayal of these geniuses, and even without confirming their state, it is clear they are either intentionally or unintentionally coded to be that way. Extremely intelligent characters not being able to read social cues, lacking empathy, disregarding rules etc. is something we commonly see in fiction. Basically, a lot of people don’t even know that these stereotypes are based on certain personality types, disorders, and illnesses. It’s sort of like drawing a character and dyeing their hair a certain shade of blue that you don’t know the particular name of: it doesn’t change the fact that you used that color, and the fact it has a name. Most authors are not mental health experts anyways, so they may not be entirely aware of every detail of the psychological framework they write the character to possess. They also may not write it consistently, as they're mostly emulating stereotypes. I mention Ranpo and autism because a character can embody traits of a stereotype without the author even necessarily having the intention to do so, however, to anyone who knows a thing or two, it is clear Ranpo is on the spectrum. If Ranpo were to express a few traits that go against this, it would not necessarily take away from the large-scale portrayal he is meant to exude: an autistic coded genius.

Why am I saying this? It is entirely possible for the author to write Dazai as a person with anti-social personality disorder, to “code” him in that way, but to not be entirely aware of how an individual with ASPD realistically tends to act.  Because he may be emulating a certain "stereotype" of a genius, he may also end up emulating specific psychological states, without making them entirely consistent in a realistic way. Writing the way individuals with ASPD tend to deal with empathy can be extremely difficult for anyone. It's easy to emulate a sociopath on a superficial level, but beyond that, it gets more challenging. How would a person with limited empathy act when they're hurting someone? That is an easier idea to handle. But how will they act in a friendly relationship? This is where it gets tricky. That is likely why someone like Dazai can never be consistently compatible with a very specific disorder: but, he can come very close. Besides, concepts such as anxiety and depression are pretty well-known, but more niche mental health conditions are not as well understood. So, BSD Osamu was written with specific attention to mental health issues because the author himself was someone who spoke heavily on the topic. I’ve read a lot of real-life Dazai Osamu, with special attention to No Longer Human (the main inspiration for BSD Dazai was Yozo) – and neither RL Dazai nor Yozo gave me the impression they could qualify for ASPD at all.

I know BSD Dazai is the opposite of the RL author in so many ways, but I guess it’s relevant to mention this because we know so little of BSD Dazai’s internal working processes, and Asagiri's main inspiration can tell us a lot about the intentions behind Dazai's portrayal. Generally, an intention or idea behind a character can give a lot of clues to us - more than anything, I am under the impression some of the main ideas behind Dazai's creation was that: 1) He doesn't feel like he belongs among humans 2) He has mental health issues However, we have difficulty defining the exact source of why all of this is in more realistic terms.

Naturally, since Dazai, an extremely socially intelligent person, sees himself as "othered", it is logical to assume he is not capable of fulfilling some emotional function most people can in a successful enough way. If he were just mentally ill in more typical ways (only depression), I theorize he wouldn't feel that "othered". He specifically is not meant to feel human. Obviously, his extreme intelligence is one of the things that isolates him, but the question is what else?

We are led to believe Dazai "sees" something the rest of us don't, and that is one of the reasons he wants to die. However, there is something more to it, as I believe it to be. We have two characters who are as intelligent as Dazai: Fyodor and Ranpo, and neither of them is suicidal, as far as we know. I believe Dazai "feels" a certain way, and then finds a way to logically justify it. Due to his intelligence, he likely falls into a complex loop which leads him to existential nihilism: but you usually don't end up in a place like that if you tend to feel alright in the first place, regardless of how smart you may be. While Dazai is certainly isolated due to his extreme intelligence, most of the people who made an impact on him are nowhere near him in that respect. In fact, I'd argue Dazai isn't even looking for someone equally intelligent to him, unlike Fyodor (this would take another post to explain).

The man who means the world to him, Oda, is more emotionally intelligent and full of common sense, but definitely not his cognitive equal. You can tell a lot about a person depending on what they value: and due to this I believe that Dazai's main issues relate to emotional matters. He primarily feels isolated due to his emotional state, and his intelligence pushes the problem further. Otherwise, he would treasure people like Ranpo and Fyodor over guys like Oda and Atsushi: he's looking for something to ease his emotional pain. Dazai doesn't seek out raw intellectual stimulation as much as comfort/excitement. This post will be an analysis of how Dazai compares to the "average" psychologically and some of the reasons he may feel so othered. Basically, my theory is that the feeling of being "othered" comes from his emotional profile, as much as it comes from his intellectual capacity. Those two take equal parts in his psyche.

Why would Dazai feel so emotionally "othered"? I believe it may have to deal with a specific personality disorder or condition, and mainly how he experiences empathy. One of the possibilities is ASPD. Anyways, let’s look into common ASPD symptoms, and then we'll look into common behavioral patterns the character shows. Dazai is equal amounts portrayed seriously and in a “jokey” way, but his worst traits and moments are usually described without humor. To preface: Keep in mind that you can have any or all of these traits without it qualifying you for a certain disorder. It is the extent to which you show it that makes a person, like Dazai, out of the norm.

1. Repeatedly breaking the law: This one goes without saying, he was in the Mob as Young as 15, and seemingly a violent criminal even before that age. To differentiate him from other members of the Mafia, it is stated by tons of people throughout the story that Dazai was practically born for this job.

Oda in Dark Era:

He was openly murderous before the age of 15, according to both The Day I picked up Dazai and Fifteen:

Dazai and Oda interacting in TDIPUD When talking to Kyouka, it seems that he has an “interesting relationship” with murder as a whole:

One thing is for sure, Dazai is much calmer, calculated, and more Machiavellian than most criminals in BSD, and this all started at an extremely young age. Many people kill when they're young, but they're not this casual about it.  The age at which he was this cold about would be of diagnostic significance.

2. Lack of remorse: Everything mentioned above, it is clear that Dazai has an even more complicated relationship with guilt and empathy. I’m pretty sure anyone in real life would consider him out of the norm, as it’s explicitly stated Dazai doesn’t feel remorse for all sorts of things he does, but there are some hints he is either ashamed of the way he is, or regrets his nature, but accepts it. What is particularly significant here is how young Dazai is when he shows a marked level of these traits. A key event that stuck with me is from the Dragon Head event in Mayoi (from my understanding it was written by Asagiri), where Shibusawa mentions Dazai will regret something (to me it sounded like he meant that killing Shibusawa will end poorly for Osamu). However, Dazai’s reaction was interesting – it was like he was almost amused that anyone would believe Dazai “could” feel regret for anything.

Mayoi Later down the timeline it’s quite questionable whether Dazai feels regret for some of his actions because he hides his feelings like a snake hides its legs, but there are implications he is somewhat remorseful if you read between the lines. More on that later. Dazai has changed compared to his past self, but to talk about that, and the extent to which he has changed would take a whole other post.

More on his lack of remorse, In “The Heartless Cur” Dazai is very young when he gets some randos from the Mafia killed in front of Akutagawa, yet his main emotions are amusement and boredom. This is not the “typical” emotional range of most people, even practiced criminals. For example, Chuuya kills people just like Dazai, but his reactions to it are entirely different.  

from The Heartless Cur Murder tends to not be the preferred or first solution Chuuya goes for: there is an expected amount of hesitance if you read into Chuuya. He put a bomb below Chuuya’s and sabotaged Ango’s car without much bother. I’d say even if you do see It as a “means to an end”, the way he did it was really cold. Usually, when people of all kinds do bad things, they have remorse and empathy they need to suppress, but with Dazai we don't see much of that. It's like he can just "do it'. He’s also really great at torture, in Side B at age 15-16, he already describes himself as a “specialist”. This is also touched upon when he speaks to Kouyou:

No matter how "grey" a character is, torture is a very specific process that takes a particular psychological profile to pull off. To be a "specialist" at it, you definitely need to possess dented empathy. Lack of remorse and empathy does not mean a person is going to be a criminal at all - it simply opens the opportunity that they may get lost in those waters more easily compared to the average person.

3. Repeatedly being deceitful I’m pretty sure we don’t have to cover this one. Yozo, the character he was loosely based on, is a big liar, and commonly uses “clowning” to distract from his real personality. Even the real Dazai Osamu wrote extensively about the concept of “lying”.   There is a lot to talk about Dazai and “masking”, and I’ll get to that in the second half of the post. Generally, Dazai lies a lot, one can’t even be sure what his personality really is. He lies by omission, manipulates, and intentionally deceives people without any issues. There are so many quotes about this that I’d probably reach the image limit right there if I wanted to reference them all. 4. Being impulsive or incapable of planning ahead Does not apply

5. Has difficulty sustaining long-term relationships: Dazai is famously a hoe. From “All women are his type” (and it seems he has zero issues getting together with any woman, young, old or even taken) to being known as “the enemy of all women” (said by Chuuya), it’s clear he is very promiscuous. Wan is in the gray area of canon, but in one of the earlier chapters he has so many love letters by different women that Atsushi burns them all. Kunikida said he hits on any woman he sees in the Entrance exam novel, which is further supported by random Wan! Chapters, silly crossovers, and everything else (literally anything female).

Not only that, but Dazai sounds like a consistently manipulative and toxic romantic partner. In an Otomedia interview, written by Asagiri, Dazai’s real type was basically something like: “Any woman is fine, because he is confident he can shape her to suit his tastes” which shows a remarkable lack of care for the personhood and individuality of his partner.

When answered what he’d do if his partner cheated or betrayed him, his answer was even more concerning. Depending on the translation, it goes something like: “He has not been cheated on, but he has cheated on others” or “he set up women to cheat on him/betray him” where both are a lot, just in different ways.

Either he is compulsively unfaithful, putting all above together, or he plays mindgames with his partners. He’s also told Kunikida that: “And from my experience, it takes only a smile and some kindness to get a woman swooning over you when she's fallen on hard times” painting an image of someone who takes advantage of people’s weaknesses to get what he wants.

Regardless, it’s clear he is very manipulative and likely emotionally abusive. I won’t even touch upon his obsession with double suicide. There’s also the fact that he seems to use sex to get what he wants – insert scene where he fucks the nurse to get his phone back.

Other than that, Dazai appears to be rather solitary. Ango and Oda are said to be “the only ones close to him” because they respected said loneliness. Even in ADA, Dazai seems to be professionally close to people, but very few people seem to know him on a personal level. I’d say he keeps people at a distance intentionally – before it was violently, later it is by being avoidant. For as much of a womanizer he is, there was that early comic where he spent Valentine’s Day drinking at Lupin “with Oda”, instead of going out with any particular person. I think this demonstrates how emotionally distant he is from all the people he interacts with

6. Being irritable and aggressive:

Dazai is not particularly aggressive, nor irritable, but he has moments where he slips. Tbh, reading back, it says a lot about Dazai’s character who he gets angry at and why. It’s important to say that when Higuchi calls him out on “Hollowing out the hearts of his opponents” in incredibly brutal ways, Dazai replies that he thinks “Sadism is just a method, and how it’s boring”.

Akutagawa is the receiver of a lot of his violence to a disproportionate degree. He beats up Akutagawa beyond what could ever be “just training”. There’s something that ticks him off about Akutagawa, which is interesting, since Dazai tends to not react this way to anyone who doesn’t touch him “intimately” in some way. A lot of people justify Dazai’s physical abuse by saying it is “training”, but it stood out to me how he kicks Akutagawa in the stomach even the first time he meets him in “Beast”, when Akutagawa is just an extremely traumatized and deprived kid he refuses to recruit. There is not much utility to that kick, to me. It felt personal.

Another example of him expressing anger is when people “called him foolish for wanting to die” – clearly he did not take it well since all of those people ended up dead. This is from “The Day I picked up Dazai” when Oda tells him he is a fool for wanting to die.

Other times Dazai expressed rage was in relation to Ango and Oda, particularly anything that related to Oda’s wellbeing.

He snaps at his subordinates when they tell him he shouldn’t be friends with someone “of such low status”, and the only time we really hear Dazai say he hates someone is when he’s torturing one of the guys who put Oda in trouble in the Beast timeline of “The day I picked up Dazai”. Obviously, he is resentful towards Ango and incapable of forgiving him. “Dead Apple” guidebook touches on it.

“Though they were once good buddies who used to drink together, to Dazai, Ango is one of the persons who caused the death of Odasaku. He still holds that resentment up to now, and is unable to forgive. Ango also seems to feel Dazai’s silent wrath towards him.”

Harukawa has said to pay attention to how cloudy the eyes of a character are to accurately interpret their psychological state. I don't think there are many times Dazai's eyes are drawn in such an extreme way - there is no "light" she talks about here. His eyes are pure black when he talks to Mori during the Guild arc.

He also agrees with Fyodor on “Malice being the best fruit that God Bestowed upon Mankind”

There is also this with Jouno:

Basically, Dazai rarely gets angry, insults don’t work on him (as he tells Chuuya), nor does beating him up, but when he does get irritated he flies off the handle and has no issue crossing any normal boundaries.

That detail is what stands out to me – usually, people have a line they won’t cross when getting mad, but for Dazai it’s like most moral lines disappear. Imo, his anger is for social standards over disproportionate in how far he’ll go and how he'll act on it– he usually has a clear intention to harm the individual he's mad about. In comparison, Chuuya is someone who gets angry more than Dazai, but Chuuya clearly has a line he won’t cross. There is also no pointed sadism in his reactions. Dazai will likely do almost anything.

Basically, it's not how much Dazai gets angry, but the way he gets mad that sticks out to me. Most importantly, Dazai only ever gets enraged if it concerns something very personal and intimate: Oda and his death, his suicide attempts etc. At this point, for me, It’s safe to say that if Dazai gets extremely angry, it means the topic affects him on a deep level (a hint to whatever Is happening between him and Akutagawa, I could talk a lot about that). 

More on Dazai’s unpredictable and violent nature:

Stormbringer I think there is a valid argument in seeing Dazai’s aggression as just a tool he uses to keep others at bay, something to hold over people and control them – but even then, it shows a marked disinterest in social norms people usually respect.

7.Having a reckless disregard for their safety or the safety of others This one builds upon all the others. However, it’s always been interesting to me how it’s clear something flies over Dazai’s head when it comes to regularly empathizing with others.

This is often seen with Chuuya. In my opinion, most of the bullying Dazai gives Chuuya is not motivated out of rage, but rather some form of spite. He goes at length to Rimbaud about planning Chuuya’s murder in “15”, then he also lets Chuuya be tortured in “Stormbringer”.

I am under the impression he sees these moments as “amusing” and doesn’t fully emotionally understand why this is something bad, even if he does on a rational level. I’ll say that Dazai did seem to show some rage whenever anyone hurt him physically in the past (seems likely to be a hint to a traumatic past), which Chuuya did when they met, but I don’t get the impression he is generally angry with Chuuya, it’s more like he just enjoys fucking with him. Ironically, for how rarely Dazai gets angry, it seems he reserves his rage/irritation exclusively for people and things he cares about, so Dazai being specifically irritated at Chuuya is just a sign of how much the guy gets to him.

If Dazai were angry at Chuuya, it is in character that he would try to hurt him a lot more than he does. However, I'd say Dazai has a blurry space for what's ok between "keeping someone purely safe" and "deeply hurting them". There is some lack of emotional empathy there - to him, it is more amusing than anything to see someone he finds interesting struggle.

Dazai sees boundaries differently. He’ll put people into danger or through discomfort without worrying much, especially if he’s sure they’re going to walk and live after it, but sometimes not even that. (there’s so many examples of it). I’d say it’s not that Dazai doesn’t care, he just cares about people differently compared to what we’re used to socially.

Regarding personal safety, it’s pretty obvious: he’s a suicide maniac, but even more, he also puts himself in harm’s way all the time without any anxiety present. Examples are when he provokes that sniper in Dark Era (when Oda gets angry at him and wants to punch him), knows he is going to get shot by Fyodor, but lets himself get hurt anyway. When he “dies” in 55 minutes, he seems “lightly” surprised, but there’s no strong reaction to it.  To me, it seems that the only physical harm he dislikes is pain he suffers from another person (when he doesn’t plan it). Dazai apparently doesn’t feel much “anxiety” – I remember many different times when he comments on another character’s timidness or meekness, seeing it as something unusual.

8. Behave irresponsibly and show disregard for normal social behaviour He’s extremely eccentric, and even Ranpo says he doesn’t get him. Dazai asks women to commit suicide the moment he meets them, and often attempts suicide around people even if it distresses them (Entrance exam).

While I think he made this excuse in Dark Era to Taneda because he didn’t want to work with Ango, I do believe he believes what he said: “You’d lose your job if I did that.” Dazai wryly smirked. “I don’t like places with lots of rules.” Not being able to accept conventional rules is very often a telltale sign of a personality disorder. Clearly, Dazai fits many of the criteria necessary for having ASPD, so let’s look at some other details that are common for people with ASPD.

Masking: In psychology and sociology, masking is the process in which an individual camouflages their natural personality or behavior to conform to social pressures. Masking is common with many disorders, such as autism, ASPD etc. I am pretty sure it’s canon Dazai masks – on a BSD exhibit, the key element Asagiri wanted to talk about in Dazai’s personality was related to this.  

“When I describe Dazai to the staff, there is a phrase that I always use, “an unworldly being with a mental age of two thousand years.” Dazai has far surpassed the mental dimension that human can reach, thus no-one can even tell if the emotions he shows are the real things or not.

There are rare moments when that Dazai shows his very “human” side. That is when he talks to another superhuman who is on the same level with him. The other is when he talks about his old friend who has passed. This is the scene when Kyouka wondered “Maybe I’m, after all, just a murderer at heart.” and refused to be saved. And Dazai’s reaction to that. When he said “Don’t give me any of that!” here, he really meant it. That was an outburst from Dazai, as a 22-year-old boy, in this scene.” Light novels often describe his smile as fake, mask-like, and I could probably find 20 panels where Harukawa clearly drew him to intentionally seem like a fake smiler. From “15” to “Entrance exam”, Dazai often drops his mask, and then goes back to acting silly just to make the other person relax. He does this with everyone, Mori, Kunikida, Atsushi, etc. Chuuya also mentions that Dazai’s “happy-go-lucky” personality in ADA is something new, and he believes it doesn’t fit him.

Kunikida says this in the Entrance Exam: "For someone so full of eccentricities, there is something about his behavior that makes it seem as if he has an unobstructed view of the world. I don’t know exactly why, but all his emotions strike me as an act to some degree. Is he just playing dumb? Could there be more to him than he’s letting on, lurking behind his ambiguous mannerisms?"

More than anything, Dazai himself says that Oda was the person closest to seeing his “real” personality. That pretty much confirms he keeps his real self hidden away. I’d say that there are several possibilities to why this is: He hides it because he dislikes being vulnerable, he doesn’t know how to act “normal”, people are unable to understand him, so masking makes it easier for him to communicate with others…there’s a lot of theorizing I could do here.

Dazai also tends to have interesting thoughts about personalities as a concept.

You’ll commonly see Dazai say something serious, followed by a severe reaction of the other character, ending with Dazai changing his demeanor and saying “just kidding” to lighten the air.

Manipulation: Dazai is extremely Machiavellian – he is prone to manipulating everyone around him, regardless of how much they care about him or not. He manipulated Chuuya into joining the mafia, he does the same with Akutagawa even today: Here we have him preying on Aku's insecurities to sabotage his self-confidence

He seems to be able to cut off his emotions from any situation, seeing people in a raw, factual sense.

There are several moments throughout the novels where Dazai talks about people as if they’re purely resources or pawns. An example of this in Dead Apple (where Chuuya gets angry because he doesn't respect people or show enough sympathy)

The way he speaks of Atsushi, when asked what he thinks of him in a guidebook, is something like “developing as expected”. Especially in the original, it sounds extremely factual, mechanical, and cold. To me, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about Atsushi, he’s just the type to compartmentalize his emotions in opposition to his thinking. This is very common for a few personality disorders and mental health conditions: the capacity to totally cut off your emotions from the equation. ��Obviously, many people are capable of doing this to one extent or another, but the amount to which he does it is what makes it significant.

Lack of traditional empathy: Personally, I think everything comes down to this. Dazai's experiences with empathy are one of the main themes of his character arc. I believe one of the things that makes him feel othered is his lack of emotional empathy.

People with ASPD tend to have issues experiencing what a lot of people consider “typical” empathy – however, ASPD is also on a large spectrum, so experiences certainly vary. Keep in mind that "lack of empathy" is common for all sorts of disorders, but since ASPD seems to be one of the most popular choices for Dazai, I decided to start there.

Before we continue, there are 2 types of empathy: Cognitive empathy is the ability to recognize and understand someone’s feelings and experiences and imagine yourself in those scenarios. Emotional empathy is experiencing shared emotions with someone or feeling emotions as though the experience is your own.

People with ASPD can commonly do the first type easily, and struggle with the second one. It does not mean they cannot experience emotional empathy, it’s just rarer for them to feel it. In my opinion, Dazai heavily relies on Cognitive empathy compared to Emotional empathy.

You can see often that he seems to not entirely understand “why” something is wrong on a personal level, but he can logically see it. This is a running theme, and you can commonly see that Dazai doesn’t fully understand “normal”.

“15” Asagiri seems to be writing Dazai as someone who has gone “beyond the human dimension” in his skills and intelligence, so other people can’t fully understand him, but I think this goes both ways. Dazai has lost touch with what’s the standard human experience.

One of the times Chuuya specifically calls out Dazai for not "acting human-like" is when he's not expressing empathy and respect. It is clear that Dazai's lack of empathy is one of the aspects which make others see him as "inhuman".

There is another situation with Kunikida  during the Azure Messenger arc where Dazai seems to apologize for not getting something “is normal”, it slips by you very easily. It is framed as a joke, and it can be read as him making fun of Kuni, but Kunikida asks himself why Dazai apologized. It does read a bit unusually.

To me it seems like Dazai doesn’t fully emotionally understand other people, so when his mask slips you can see that he struggles a ton with getting what’s exactly “typical”.

Because Dazai is extremely intelligent, he masks in order to fit into society, and he does it successfully since he can intellectually understand most social and emotional functions and processes. However, he slips up like everyone does. This is why he got along with Oda well – since Oda just let him act like himself without having ulterior motives. Dazai didn’t have to “mask”. He didn't see Dazai as "just anyone", but he also realized Dazai was human. Basically, to Oda Dazai was a kid that had empathy issues, but he was struggling much like everyone else.

Personally, I feel like Dazai doesn’t feel entirely “human” because he doesn’t feel “emotional empathy” on the same level as other people, and this is one of the key issues of the character (as it's clearly stated in the Dead Apple manga, where Dazai does seem a bit upset by Chuuya's reaction)

. The reason he felt “seen” by Oda is because Oda fully recognized this and still believed Dazai could do “good”. In our society, it is common for people to think that "empathy" and "sympathy" are conditions for being a good person, but it isn't so simple. The possible complexity of Dazai's moral state is why I find the character so interesting - a person without traditional empathy choosing to be good is really fascinating. (more on this later).

Boredom and general emptiness: “Boredom” is an extremely common complaint for people with ASPD – in fact, intense, non-standard boredom, along with other symptoms such as atypical experience with empathy, is one of the easiest ways to recognize ASPD. A “numbed” emotional state is common for people with ASPD, and due to their different emotional range and inability to connect with others in a more typical fashion, they are prone to “boredom” and seeking out extreme experiences.

Alcoholism/Substance abuse is common for people with ASPD, and it’s pretty much canon Dazai drinks a lot (alcohol is even in his likes). Aside from that, Dazai often cites boredom as one of the main reasons he wants to die, and I remember so many instances where he complains about it in bizarre circumstances. This is common for people with ASPD: depression/suicidality is comorbid, and I have heard people with ASPD mention they wanted their life to end once they no longer have enough stimulation. Dazai is often stated to be “bored”, or look bored even when extremely horrifying things are happening (people dying around him/telling their life stories..).  An example with Mori where he talks about wishing to die (from 15):

Another really funny thing, a lot of people with ASPD I have seen tend to dislike “dogs”. Obviously, this hatred comes from the real life Dazai being scared of them and thinking they can attack at any moment, but it’s a funny coincidence. They tend to dislike dogs for an entirely different reason than Dazai does, to be fair.

How Dazai seems to see himself and morals in general

Generally, to me it seems like Dazai is not entirely happy with his nature. He admires Oda and doesn’t understand why he wouldn’t use his talents to rise up in ranks within the Mafia, simply because that is logical to Dazai – perhaps it is that difference between them that he enjoys so much. He is frequently attracted to displays of empathy:

Examples: 1. Ango documenting the deaths of people within the mafia even if it’s “just a waste of money” 2. Almost everything Atsushi and Oda do

He often describes altruism as “interesting”. I am also under the impression that Dazai has a tendency to project his nature onto others, which we can gather from his “Evil expects evil from others” quote to Mori. Furthermore, he sadly remarks in Dark Era that he is “a man despised by righteousness”. so I feel like there is something up here, some sort of guilt, distaste or shame.

This tells me:

a)Dazai sees himself as “evil”

b)He is constantly assuming the worst in others or is prepared for the worst

Another thing this tells me is that Dazai is someone who is likely extremely wary of people’s intentions. This is a ubiquitous theme all across BSD, especially when we see him as a kid. Osamu tends to be skeptical of everyone and everything, as if he’s waiting for people to betray or fuck him over at any corner. In TDIPUD, he keeps getting upset that he can't figure out Oda, since it makes no sense for him to be so charitable for absolutely no reason. Oda said “good and evil are the same to you” – personally I interpret this as Dazai being largely amoral rather than immoral.  Whether Dazai can be described as “good”, “evil” or “neutral” largely depends on your view of ethics. Just because someone lacks traditional empathy, it doesn't mean they are necessarily sadistic or bad at all. Immoral and Amoral are two words that sound similar but have different meanings. Immoral is an adjective that describes “something against pre-established morals, ethics, or standard societal practices.” Amoral, on the other hand, is an adjective that describes “something or someone completely lacking morals.” In common society, if you’re not “good”, you are often automatically “evil”. Basically, a person who has "no morals" is just as bad as a person who has cruel beliefs, but those two fundamentally differ. However, in a technical, utilitarian fashion – this is often seen to be true. More or less, “good” is the neutral state, and the more you step away from it, the more “evil” you are perceived to be. The more moral conventions you break, the more "evil" you are, regardless of your intentions. The results of the actions matter more than the source and motivations. In the end, a person is dead, regardless of why you killed them or how you felt about it. The reasons why people do conventionally moral things can be all over the place too - people aren't always kind because they have sympathy. When I hear “evil and good are the same to you”, it sounds like Dazai has no need for either, meaning, yes, he has no inherent need to do good, but no need for bad, he is simply not opposed to either of them. Regardless of what he's doing, he feels the same way. They're both tools to satisfy particular needs. Many people read this and say "aha, so if he sees no difference between the two, that means he is evil", but I think the truth is in the middle. I always say that to estimate Dazai's moral framework, you need to judge him outside of normal conventions. Basically, his starting point in making decisions is different. He begins his process likely by thinking "what will this bring me?" Most of his “evil” is not out of pure sadism, it’s just that he feels no need to stop himself due to moral conventions, he mostly cares about practical results. This is opposed to Kunikida who cares about ideals and morals in a vacuum and pursues them in their most idealized version (and it's well known Asagiri writes duos as opposites). Entrance exam as a novel was about how idealism can lead people to ruin when it's unrealistic.

He’s naturally immune to socialized pressure that forms the moral frameworks of most people on an emotional level. All of this is very common for ASPD, and a few other conditions. The more I see Dazai talk about how he sees the concept of personality, murder, morality – the more I am convinced his ethical framework is focused on results rather than the inherent morality of said actions. Example: He's going to lie to you to make you happy, even though "lying is bad". There is no inherent value in staying honest if it makes an individual miserable in the long run, even though society sees frankness as a virtue. That way, most actions are “open” for Dazai to undertake, he has no qualms most people have against them, since he doesn’t have socialized morals. A lot of the time, we only see certain things as "unconditionally bad" because we've been socialized to see them that way, even if it's not necessarily logical. He simply lacks socialized morals, leading to a tendency to be amoral. Everything is a means to an end, every action is alright if it's a tool that has more pros than cons. Oda's death was a useful character arc, since it led Dazai to taking Oda's moral framework as his own. He doesn't believe he is better than others, nor does he enjoy hurting random people, he doesn't kill or rob randos to get something and believes he is justified in it. Things of that type would make him “immoral”. Most of Dazai’s evil actions seem utilitarian, rather than committed for the pure act of pleasure or cruelty. When I say “amoral”, I mean this from Dazai’s point of view. Since he has no “moral boundaries”, all actions are open for him to undertake. He can go as far as he wants to any extreme largely depending on his subjective worldview and feelings (as seen in Beast, where he breaks all sorts of ethical codes of being "a good man" so Oda could get a decent life). However, since he is aware that there is a fight between good and bad in every person, and that evil tends to win out compared to the good, under enough pressure, he admires people who selflessly continue to be kind. That is why Oda, a highly moral person even beyond what is logical (his insistence to not kill even if it harms him) is the opposite that pushed him to change. Ulterior motives tend to be something Dazai is worried about in people, perhaps because he is possibly projecting all he is, or can be, on others. He describes Oda specifically as:

"a man who has no ulterior motive". Oda is obviously being a good person partially out of self-interest ("people live to save themselves"), but this self-interest is not destructive. I think for Dazai, it was difficult to find people who didn't have an ulterior motive that was ultimately hurtful, and he projected that onto everyone. Oda acting in his self-interest was ultimately beneficial to everyone. All in all, while Dazai does admire Oda's morals - I think a lot of this appreciation comes from an intimate and subjective place, where he feels comforted someone like Oda even existed. Continuing Oda's work is likely an extension of this as well. Keep in mind, any person has the right to see Dazai's actions as bad, as they often are. I am more speaking of Dazai's internal mental framework. Conclusion: Dazai has no inherent need to do good or bad, for the most part. He just goes as far as he needs to to satisfy his emotional needs.

Oda saved Dazai’s life in the day I picked up Dazai, and listened to him, but expected nothing in return. I feel that Oda saw this struggle within Dazai, and the way “good and evil don’t mean much to him” due to his disorder, but recognized that Dazai perhaps didn’t want to be this way.

Since Oda saw Dazai’s “irregular” nature, and still believed he could be a good person, Dazai was touched and decided to change his life. I believe Dazai had some distaste for himself, regardless of his lack of empathy, he could recognize what he was doing was not entirely right. As Asagiri mentioned, Oda told him exactly what he needed to hear, and the fact that these words were so life-changing to Dazai tells us a lot about what he had on his mind.  In my opinion, to see who Dazai is, you need to follow exactly which words got to him.

In my opinion, it likely meant a lot that a person he actually admired wanted to be in his life, especially a person he considered so kind like Oda. He often says that Oda is “the most interesting person he knows”. Imo, this is because “empathy” is one of the things Dazai doesn’t fully understand. He had to learn it. Since he understands human nature so well, cognitive empathy comes easy to him, but he still fucks up sometimes.

Here, I also feel like he is talking about himself – he sees himself in Kyouka. It doesn’t come naturally to Dazai to be “good”, but he is trying his best, that is his ideal now. (Asagiri said this was one of Dazai's rare human moments). For that reason, I think Dazai admires empathetic people and tends to dislike those who are naturally violent, or even choose to be violent out of sadism.

On the BSD exhibit, Asagiri said Atsushi was "an empathy user", and how that is the key to his character. During one interview, the author mentioned that Dazai keeps testing Kunikida's ideals, but Osamu secretly hopes that Doppo will prove to be right, and Dazai wrong. This to me paints a picture of someone who hopes that "good" is worth it, at least from an intellectual point of view. When talking with Fyodor, he seems to admire people who live emotionally, thinking god doesn't prefer perfection, logic and harmony.

"The ones who actually make the world run Are those who scream in the storm of uncertainty and run with flowing blood"

Dazai seems to reject the idea that him and Fyodor and better because they are more calculating and cold - like I mentioned earlier in this god-forsaken post, this to me says Dazai believes empathetic and emotional people are better than him.

"I've come to see it many times, his gimmicks are the accidental and illogical that's a weakness two of us have in common" He suffers because he is not like them, and that contributes to him feeling "othered".

Negative emotions and Akutagawa

My guess is that one of the reasons Dazai has so many issues with Akutagawa is because he is projecting his own issues with his lack of empathy onto him. This makes him relate to Akutagawa, but also dislike him beyond how he usually treats people. Akutagawa questions why Dazai's acts of violence are justified, while Osamu is judging Akutagawa: to me it sounds that Dazai sees his actions as at least partly justified because they are "logical" and utilitarian. He puts a difference between him and Aku, as if Dazai's natural instinct is not to mindlessly hurt others. However, it's interesting he needs to draw this line.

I believe Dazai sees a lot of the hurt he enacts on others as either "justified" or subconsciously defensive. "If I don't hurt others, they will hurt me", and he uses this against all kinds of people to keep them in control. In the Dark Era novel, Dazai speaks of Akutagawa like this:

“When I first saw him over in the slums, I was horrified. His talents are extraordinary, and his skill is extremely destructive. Plus, he’s stubborn. If I’d left him to his own devices, he would’ve ended up a slave to his own powers until he destroyed himself.” Interestingly, Dazai was "horrified" at what Akutagawa was capable of, where most things don't seem to exactly phase him. I think something about Aku's capacity for violence even scares him, and he "lashes" out in response to control him.

Later on Oda calls out Dazai's thinking indirectly in Beast, saying that hurting Aku is still bad no matter why he did it. (more on this in the next section) However, it’s very clear he cares for Akutagawa in “Chopsticks and a Spoon”, so I do feel like he’s likely aware of it. In fact, that story contains one of the gentlest expressions Dazai has pointed at anyone, so I think he partially sees Akutagawa as "innocent" in nature, and more like a wounded animal. I'll likely write a post about it. Since Dazai has expressed some lament or even shame regarding him being a person "hated by righteousness", I do think he is a bit ashamed of who he is. This part is a theory: When talking about "No Longer Human", Asagiri mentioned that he felt the book was about "embarrassment". Since Dazai is canonically famously based on Yozo to some extent, I feel that we can guess that Osamu likely does feel some shame - the question is about what. The rare times we see BSD Dazai express something similar to shame is when talking about his moral nature (when he beat up Akutagawa in Dark Era), but it's a "blink and you'll miss it" type of thing. Yozo and RL Dazai's relationship with his father was one of the cornerstones of his work (NLH even ends with him mentioning how he would have been alright if he had a better relationship with his father). Within the book, Yozo feels all sorts of things which make him feel "inhuman", but he is terrified about being open about it due to his strict father who sees him as somewhat strange. Since the theme of "fatherhood" was lightly touched upon when Atsushi's orphanage director died, I do think this is potentially a sore spot for BSD Dazai too. My guess is that Dazai likely had a poor relationship with his father figure, who saw him as "strange" or "inhuman" due to the way he acted: leading BSD Dazai to feel shame over his nature. Perhaps one of the things that made his father see Dazai as inhuman was his lack of typical ethics and empathy. Osamu internalized this - and ended up becoming a criminal at a very young age, perhaps in an attempt to confirm what hurt him, seeing himself as someone who could mostly do bad (which could be one of the reasons he wanted to die so young). Perhaps Oda making a way for him to "act good" was life-changing because of that too - it targeted a specific wound. All of this is speculation, but Dazai did mention that "self-pity leads you to living a life that is an endless nightmare". My guess is he was talking about himself there: and his own experiences with shame. To extend this: I think one of the reasons Dazai is so harsh on Akutagawa is because he is possibly projecting his relationship with his father onto Aku. Akutagawa is violent and troubled, and Dazai was shamed for the same thing. (but it would take a lot of time to work through this theory, so moving on..)

Dazai exhibiting empathy However, Dazai does show empathy for Oda, and a lot of it. I’d go as far as to say that he over-empathizes with Oda, while he underempathizes with everyone else. His relationships with the people closest to him tend to be why some people think he may have BPD. Especially due to devaluation and the "favorite person" concept. For someone with this type of BPD relationship, a “favorite person” is someone they rely on for comfort, happiness, and validation. A FP is a person who someone with BPD relies heavily on for emotional support, seeks attention and validation from, and looks up to or idealizes. For Dazai, this is Oda. On the other hand, In the context of BPD, “devaluation” refers to a psychological defense mechanism or coping strategy that individuals with BPD may employ in their interpersonal relationships. Devaluation involves a shift in the person’s perception of others, where they view someone they previously idealized or held in high regard as unworthy, flawed, or worthless. They become unworthy of their affection and praise. The person with BPD may engage in behaviors such as intense criticism, verbal attacks, withdrawal, or even cutting off contact with the person they have devalued. These actions are often driven by the individual’s fear of rejection, abandonment, or a desire to protect themselves from potential hurt or disappointment. For Dazai, the clearest example of this is Ango. However, a person can exhibit the "favorite person" and project the phenomenon of devaluation without having BPD. In my opinion, Dazai does show heightened polarity in his feelings toward others, but I am not sure if BPD would be my choice for him. It's very difficult to say, as many conditions mask as BPD, and Dazai's expression of empathy is unique.

Dazai idealizes Oda, and deeply sees his pain as his own, while he always frames Akutagawa in a negative light, even though he is likely one of the people Dazai cares about the most (next to Oda, Chuuya, Ango, Atsushi, especially according to Beast). Another example of his heightened negative emotions are Ango, and Chuuya to a much lesser extent. My guess is that Dazai doesn’t deal with caring about people well, especially when they are any sort of “threat”: which is why he tries to “bully” them down. The reason he goes easier on Chuuya than Akutagawa is because he feels Chuuya is in his nature more sympathetic.

In my opinion, the moment Dazai warmed up to Chuuya was when he realized that The Sheep were pushing Chuuya around: he was no “King of the sheep”, he was acting out of empathy and care. Since Chuuya is so powerful, it was likely admirable to Dazai that he didn’t abuse his abilities for self-gain. This is when he decided to isolate Chuuya from the Sheep: and I think the reason above is specifically why

I'd say Dazai is likely "spikey" to anyone he cares about but has less confidence they won't hurt him. There are two camps of people: 1. Atsushi, Oda, Kunikida, Sigma (generally upright, meek, moral at the end of the day) 2. Chuuya, Akutagawa, and lastly Ango (people who are aggressive, challenging, and need to be put down in Dazai's eyes).

He cares about both camps (Sigma is debatable, I spoke of the type of personality Dazai seems to deal with easily in his case), but he likely feels "less safe" with the second type. Mori could potentially go into the second camp - there is some respect and resentment there at the same time. He even talks about this with Kunikida in Entrance exam.

"“I guess. But you, Kunikida, I’ve got a good idea of who you are now, so nothing you do will ever surprise me. I mean, compared with me, you’re just a simple man with a simple mind, after all.”

See? You wear your heart on your sleeve. You don’t hide how you’re really feeling. It’s nice. You know what else is nice? Just knowing that you’re going to be worrying later to yourself, ‘Am I really that simple?’”

“Why, you—”

But I refrain from arguing. Whatever my response, he’s just going to end up telling me, “I knew you’d say that.”

I suppose that being around Kunikida comforts him since he is predictable, yet kind. On the other hand, someone like Chuuya excites him, because he is wild and challenging enough, but is still a good person when it comes down to it. Basically, Dazai is hypervigilant of pain.

Akutagawa is “off the chain” in comparison to all of them. I am under the impression that Dazai can care about people without treating them well at all, and 2 of the people who are at the top of his list (Chuuya and Aku) are people he “seems” to dislike (In Chuuya’s case rather openly in his profile).

It appears that the more “intense” and “unpolished” parts of Dazai’s personality are strictly reserved for people he cares about, but he is extremely selective about who he shows emotional empathy to as it’s such a rare experience for him. He may capable of "cutting off" empathy to protect himself emotionally. It is quite clear some aspects of empathy miss him broadly in Beast, when he appears shocked that Oda would react so strongly to endangering Akutagawa since “it’s all supposed to end well if he survives”. That sentence itself is totally tone-deaf, yet Dazai is acting as if Oda is supposed to take that normally. It’s quite clear that Dazai doesn’t treat Atsushi all that well in Beast either, as he exploits his fears for Atsushi to be totally obedient to him.

I really like this moment, because it demonstrates that even if Dazai does have some point regarding Akutagawa and the way he goes about things, the way he has treated him is still too much – and Dazai can’t exactly convince Oda, a decent person, why this is ever justifiable under any circumstances. There is an aspect of regular empathy that misses Dazai – it doesn’t cross his mind why his actions are inherently bad. Perhaps it is possible that Dazai was treated with little to no empathy growing up, so he accepted that as a model for acceptable behavior. A lot of the time, cruel actions don't seem to even register to him as bad, in an almost innocent way. It's like it doesn't cross his mind that stuff is out of the ordinary. When talking to Oda about this, he was described as "childlike".

However, Dazai shows a lot of extreme emotional empathy for Oda, which tends to be rare for people with ASPD (obviously, all traits of it are on a spectrum).

Dazai clearly feels as if he himself is being beaten when Oda suffers. Furthermore, “Beast” shows that he is willing to endanger multiple people he cares about so Oda could live and write his book. In his words “the me from other worlds doesn’t care about the world” – showing that even though he may “care” about people, it’s really hard for him to fully emotionally connect with others.

This leads him to severe feelings of loneliness and isolation, but it’s quite clear Oda is the exception to this.

Dazai has multiple anxiety attacks when meeting with Oda in Beast and TIPUD:

“I see.” Oda says after he gives it a moment of thought. “I’ll do so then. That is very kind of you. You are a good guy.”

Dazai’s expression becomes distorted.

He opens his mouth, and closes it again, as if he can no longer breathe.

If he tells him everything now, maybe things will go back to how they were. The two of them will go to the bar together and have a toast. Just like that night.

“Odasa…”

Just as Dazai is about to say that name, a train passes by. The express train passing through that station cuts through the silence of the night, right next to where Dazai and Oda is."

and obviously the whole showdown at the bar. Earlier, Oda mentions that Dazai looks like he is about to cry:

 An interesting part here is that Dazai gets shocked that Oda would even consider that Dazai could hurt him:

It almost sounds absurd that Dazai, who is known for scheming even against people he likes, would be that surprised someone would expect this from him. This, to me, shows that Dazai does have that underdeveloped, childish emotional side to himself, where he doesn’t understand everything he does. It’s quite logical why Oda, or anyone else, would be consistently doubtful of Dazai, yet he is so used to not caring about anyone, that when he does feel things he is remarkably unpolished and just as illogical as anyone else. I’d say his heart is like a knife that went blunt from lack of use. Since he has no experience dealing with people he feels strongly about, it always comes across very messy – and Asagiri himself often describes him as childish at his most vulnerable.

Furthermore, the lyrics of the song for Beast have these words to say: “Loving you to death won’t kill me Because I don’t love this world enough” And in the Beast novel, he mentions all he has to give to the world is love. I think we can certainly see that Dazai is not emotionless.

To me it seems like Dazai is capable of selective emotional empathy. I feel like one of the reasons Oda was “the one” Dazai attached himself to the most, is because Oda was a struggling man who was also depressed (rather clear the more you read), but he was empathetic and accepted Dazai for who he was.

Him and Dazai had difficulties in common (the guy was a killer as a kid too), yet Oda did his best to be a good person – that is one of the reasons, as Asagiri mentions, why he had an “outburst” when Kyouka implied former killers can’t be good people. Oda was a good person in his eyes, and his role model of “empathy”: someone he wished to emulate. I am pretty sure that Oda became the blueprint for the moral compass he strives towards.

Most importantly, Oda didn’t really judge Dazai when he showed his lack of empathy, while he remained firm in what he believed in.

“Odasaku is the type of person who will never lecture anyone. Because he does not consider himself a superior person who can teach and guide others. However, it doesn’t mean that he has nothing he wants to say. The sentiments that he couldn’t convey in these two scenes were finally delivered to Dazai in the last scene through the words “Become a good person.” Very meaningful scenes when read as a set.”

is how Asagiri described Oda during the exhibit. As Asagiri says, one of the reasons he didn’t tell Dazai anything when he provoked the sniper was his modesty. Since Oda didn’t look down on him, yet showed concern and fully understood Dazai wasn’t just a struggling depressed kid, but someone with serious issues who also happened to be a child – Dazai grew to deeply care for him. Oda didn't shame him, likely avoiding Dazai's hypervigilant sensor for pain.

Selective empathy is common for many disorders – and Dazai, after not feeling “seen” his whole life, ended up making a true connection with Oda. I guess, in that sense – Oda was the one who really reached Dazai’s heart, and since he was the only one who came that close, all of Dazai’s emotional empathy is reserved for him.

In my opinion, the reason Dazai was so difficult to “get to” was that even people who had good intentions toward him never truly saw him.

To see Dazai as a depressed woobie who just needs to be saved is to idealize him – which wouldn’t exactly help him. They’re talking about a version of him that doesn’t exist. If the only way he could be seen as worthwhile was someone seeing him as more “traditionally good” than he truly is, it’s not going to work. He needs to be seen for exactly who he is, and still given a chance to be better.

Likewise, it had to be someone who wasn’t helping him in order to get something from him. I would say that one of the main reasons why Dazai got so attached to Oda was because his friend had no reason to save him, he gave him space, and didn’t even force himself into Dazai’s life.

It was purely altruistic, and for Dazai, who expects the worst from others and seems to fear people’s intentions, this was perfect. One of the main aspects of Dazai's character is his anxious-avoidant attachment style, where he is likely so afraid of potential pain, he pushes others away, or punishes anyone he cares about who might hurt him preemptively. A lot of this is not impulsive, but calculated, which is why he feels a natural resistance to Akutagawa (but relates to him and cares all the more because of it). He understands the self-destructive nature of Akutagawa.

"If I’d left him to his own devices, he would’ve ended up a slave to his own powers until he destroyed himself.”" I believe Dazai likely allows himself to fully empathize with Oda because he feels only Oda is "safe" in this world. The fact that Oda is dead and gone perhaps makes caring for him even safer, as his image of Oda will never change.

Conclusion: I'd say Dazai is someone who is probably extremely traumatized, with a specific emotional profile that doesn't allow him to experience empathy like normal people do - and this is one of the defining traits of the character for me. He is able to isolate himself from normal social pressures and boundaries - and because of this and his extreme intellect, he feels like an alien in this world. A lot of his struggle likely deals with the fact that he dislikes the hurtful person he is, but has difficulty seeing why he should be better - all while he has a distaste for sadism, cruelty and senseless violence in others. In my opinion, a lot of his own cruelty is "reactive": he acts "evil" because he expects the same from others ("evil expects evil from others), and decides he wants to beat them to the punch. He is comforted when he is in the presence of altruistic and empathetic people, because he doesn't have to be what he dislikes (as "enemy" evil will always make him react since he is threatened). In the end, he rationally sees that cruelty is negative, but he still feels it is an effective tool. If Dazai weren't this way, he wouldn't consistently choose empathetic people for his company throughout the story, while acting callous himself most of the time.

A lot of things Dazai does to me feel like he is avoiding hurt, or attempting to "control the pain" he gets in his life. Notably, Dazai mostly lets himself get "bullied" by people he sees as innocent and simple like Kunikida, since "Kunikida will never surprise him" - he knows that Doppo won't cross the line. Ironically, he famously says he "dislikes physical pain", but often gets himself into physically dangerous scenarios.

It's like he doesn't mind pain if he's the one in control (when Fyodor let the sniper shoot him, when that dude from Mimic shot him point blank). Avoidance of pain and control are other keys to Dazai's character. In that sense, I think Dazai was possibly traumatized and learned to almost completely disassociate from empathy early in his life. There are so many theories I could think of here that we'd get nowhere.

It is clear that Dazai is capable of extreme emotional empathy due to his relationship with Oda, and it's possible he doesn't allow himself to feel it in most scenarios due to his avoidant nature regarding pain. However, whatever the reason behind it, it is clear he doesn't feel a ton of emotional empathy in his day-to-day life, and this disassociation from empathy has crafted him into a person who doesn't fully understand "normal humans".

That is why he sees them as fascinating after Oda dies - he reaches Dazai's heart and opens him up to the idea that not all people are unempathetic and cruel - meaning Dazai doesn't always have to be on guard. Does Dazai have ASPD, or is his lack of empathy a result of other things: PTSD, CPTSD, is he perhaps autistic? I can't say for sure, as it could be so many things. Personally, anyone could make an argument for any of these in my eyes. Above, I mostly analyzed his displays of empathy and tried to study which emotional patterns he appears to follow. I think Dazai's character arc has a lot of worth specifically because we see someone for whom emotional empathy may not be natural trying to be good. It's a unique ethical dilemma, and that's one of the reasons I feel in love with the series. Since it isn't natural for him, his efforts mean a lot, and the struggle feels real and genuine.

Thank you all for reading if you made it this far <3 I've taken a lot of posts and translations I've gathered over the years, and I am sure I won't be able to thank everyone, but, I'd like to show appreciation for popopretty, aja154ever and many others for sharing info from exhibitions, databooks and so. Have a nice day !

[ramblesbiab]

i desperately need to be the leader of a human uprising against a world which has been largely overtaken by robots and there's one specific robot girl who's a prominent leader in the robot forces. She hates me, I hate her, and years go by as we keep fighting each other. I think we're getting closer, we have to be. We can't let those things win.

Then, finally, it comes. Our largest scale attack. We charge, all at once, on the largest base of operations for the robots, running on adrenaline and hope, desperate, desperate hope, for the future of humanity.

And they obliterate us. They obliterate me, leaving me bloody and barely alive, lying on the battlefield knowing we'd failed. Then, a figure stands over me, and as I blackout, I can feel myself being picked up.

When I wake up, something feels wrong. I'm in pain, sure, but not nearly enough for the abuse I just took, and I assume I must be dead. Then I see her. The robot girl leader, at a work table across the room. Humming a softly digital tune to herself, until I make the surface I'm on creak and she startles.

She explains that I was in critical condition. That I was going to die if I didn't have parts of me replaced, so she did it. I can't think about the disgust of being part machine now from the sheer surprise that she - helped me? My worst enemy saved my fucking life?!

Like she's reading my thoughts, she snaps at me to shut up before I can ever say anything. It's unclear what happens next. If I can leave, if the other robots know I'm here. If her goal is to torture me, so dying wasn't an option, or if there's some other strange reason she wants me alive.

I spend a few unbearably contentious nights in the workshop I woke up in, sleeping on the same table my operation took place. Feeling the machines moving inside me so unnaturally every time I close my eyes. She keeps not saying anything, only giving me glances from the side, not saying I can go but not telling me to stay, either.

One day, I move closer to her worktable. Watching the way her robotic fingers move with such grace. It's mesmerizing.

She finally speaks up to tell me it's rude to stare. But I keep watching, and she does nothing to prevent it. I swear there's a soft smirk on those grey lips of hers.

It's odd to me, how I know what she's working on. About all the devices she's always tinkering with, from all the observing I did while planning the uprising. I know so much about a robot woman I've yet to have a conversation with, at least one that wasn't yelled over the sounds of gunfire and explosions.

I can't bear the silence, nor the occasional sarcastic remarks. So I crack. "What are we?" I ask after another few days. She freezes perfectly in place, or so I think, until I notice the shake to her hand, such an oddly human response to the question. More human then most of the monsters who were willing to join my uprising.

"I'm still figuring that out," she whispers. She goes back to work. After a few minutes, she starts to hum, like I'm not here. Or - like it's okay that I'm here. I let a smile creep onto my face.

We're getting somewhere.

( if it's not obvious this is very inspired by portal 2 and also this portal 2 fanfic: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8896805/27/Of-Robots-and-Women )

[naranjapetrificada]

Thinking this midday about ofmd AUs and what it means for someone to be "out of character". I've talked about this here at length before, but today I'm thinking about a different aspect of it. Namely that I wish people thought more about their goals when writing and recalibrated their relationships with canon as a concept.

We all know by now how contentious a certain late first mate (what is the opposite of "qepd" lol) is. When writing him in fic, some people seem to have this (inexplicable to me) urge to show him behaving in ways that the canon version of him would hate (outwardly nice, polite, kind, open, etc). And while not everyone is open to direct feedback about their writing, I've seen discussions a handful of times in ao3 comments and more commonly over here between readers about how in or out character potrayals of him are, and something occured to me today.

When there are opposing sides on the core question of whether or not a portrayal is in or out of character (vs people who agree on that question but may have quibbles about the reasons why they came to their conclusion), the sides tend to be "here's why this was in character" and "here's why this isn't in character". And while that gap will always exist because there are as many readings of a text as there are readers, there's a reason the concepts of "canonical" and "non-canonical" exist. There are things that are canon and things that are not and there is disagreement about which things are which but like it or not, there are some people that are more correct about canonicity.

The thing about fan works is that people should always create what they want, and will do so according to their interpretations of source material, and the question of being in or out of character should, at the end of the day, come down to your goals. We all have more goals in our creative work beyond "finish" or "do it well" and we may not consciously consider them, but they're always there. Those "alternate" goals may be different from work to work, but they exist are influenced by our experiences and inspirations and aren't ever going to be 100% impartial or canon-aligned, because the former would be boring as hell and the latter is neither possible nor desired in what's supposed to be a transformative work.

Everyone who creates anything wants it to be "good", but measures of quality can change from work to work the way goals can. For many writers, how "true" their characterization feels can be one of those quality measures that relate to their goals. Probably in most cases tbh, and especially in AUs. But it isn't always part of the equation because other writers have other goals, and it's usually pretty obvious when those goals haven't been examined.

Some of y'all think Con O'Neill/Izzy Hands is hot, and just wany to imagine his character in various sexual situations with other characters you find attractive (or at least narrative useful) in some way and you know what? That's perfectly fine, and despite not comprehending that impulse at all I understand the importance of creative freedom in fandom enough to want people who write that to write it without hesitation. In these cases we often just tell people to be "proud villainfuckers" which is easy, straightforward, and usually has less contentious discourse around it.

But some of y'all find Izzy to be the most sympathetic character in the series, and while I have enough of the acquired (and healthy) suspicion as a black person who has spent decades in fandom spaces to not want to touch that tendency with a 10 foot pole, those same decades of fandom experience make me understand that there will always be people who glom onto antagonists and secondary characters like that. Even when if I wonder about the motivations behind such an inclination, I understand that y'all are usually part of the ecosystem too.

But the thing is: if you're motivated to write Izzy as outwardly nice or kind or as some kind of hero vs the antagonist he canonically is, or gravitate toward reading those kinds of portrayals, why argue with people about what is or isn't in character? If something in you is drawn toward that kind of Izzy and wants to sympathize with him, why not just own it? There's no easy "villainfucker" way of making peace with this though because it's much more likely to make you want to think about individual morality.

No one who is partial to Izzy wants to be called racist or femme-phobic etc, and I'm not here (on this post at least) to litigate whether or not those accusations would be fair or not (although my opinions are probably obvious). But isn't it exhausting to have to put canon through so many refractions so you can insist that what you like seeing and/or writing is canonical? I understand that being able to point to canon can make it feel easier to stand by your preferences, but is all the bending over backwards to make it fit worth it? What if you could just acknowledge if your goal is to persuade others to see him the same way you do, or see him getting cared for, or whatever else you get out of it? I wish more of y'all had the courage of your convictions and were willing to just say "I like seeing Izzy this way" or "I sympathize with Izzy" because you would probably be having more fun.

[dailydemonspotlight]

Loup-Garou - Day 126

Race: Beast

Alignment: Neutral

October 14th, 2024

Werewolves are some of the most famous fictional monsters, easily among the ranks of vampires and zombies in fixtures of the spooky month abound. Werewolves, and Lycanthropy in general, are also very common aspects of storytelling in more fantastical spaces, being typically used as metaphors for several different things. However, where Werewolves came from is a very contentious topic, but one of our most vital links is actually today's Demon of the Day: the French Loup-Garou, one of the first and most notable examples of a werewolf in history. These lycanthropic monsters are some of the first, and most literal, werewolves we've ever seen depicted, and in spite of their relative obscurity they're a very stock and reliable example of what a werewolf even is.

A Loup-Garou, meaning 'one who turns into a wolf,' is a title given to someone who was cursed with transforming into an animal form at night- interestingly, it doesn't specifically have to be a wolf, as according to French-Canadian tradition, they can also turn into dogs, pigs, cattle, cats, or even owls. The idea of this curse was heavily tied to Catholicism and its morality- a person who would commit a grave sin or even just miss confessing their sins on Easter one-too-many times would end up being cursed to become one of these animals every evening, whereupon they would wander aimlessly the countryside. Interestingly, tying with the other animal forms, a Loup-Garou wasn't actually a wolf-man, as they would instead take the direct form of the animal they were cursed to become.

Naturally, however, the traditional French tale was about wolves, and so it stuck. As French settlers arrived in Canada, they brought tales of the Loup-Garou with them as moral warnings and boogeymen, with the first recorded mention being all the way back in the 1700's in the journal of one Antoine Simon Le Page du Pratz, where he speaks of a great wolf described with the moniker "Rougarou" that had the power of 20 wolves in one. To quote his journal,

The wolves being many in a body, kill not what is sufficient for one alone, but as many as they can, before they begin to eat. For this is the manner of the wolf, to kill ten or twenty times more than he needs, especially when he can do it with ease, and without interruption.

This is a borrowed observation from OSP's excellent video on Werewolves, but this actually lead to quite a lot of the modern-day danger that wolves find themselves in, as they had faced extinction at the time due to overhunting out of paranoia that they would attack. Still, the idea stuck, and it spread- the Loup-Garou soon became a fixture in the mythology of the area, inspired primarily by the legends of Dracula and other vampires in how it'd transform. The wolf also starred in a book called “Jean-ah Poquelin,” where it was the main character, and from there the idea stuck. Soon, the idea spread to the Americas as well, and in years the idea of a man transforming into a wolf became ingrained in the public psyche.

The fact that it's only one transformation, though, does make the design in SMT a bit confusing. Don't get me wrong, I love it- it's a fantastic werewolf creature design- but it has direct conflict with the plain wolf form. Even then, though, if it was just a wolf, it'd be a bit boring, so I have to acknowledge and love the fact that they took such a unique approach with the design of a werewolf, with its glowing yellow eyes and torn noble attire giving light to its French origins. Not much else to speak about- simply a story about were's and wolves. Do not post the pineapple GIF.

[bigsoftmarshmallow]

How would the Ganondorfs (Wind Waker, Ocarina of Time, Twilight Princess, Hyrule Warriors, and Tears of the Kingdom) & Demise react to explicit fanfiction about them in a demonic polycule?

If any of the Ganondorfs (or Demise) were to come across an explicit fanfiction about themselves in a demonic polycule, their reactions would likely be as complicated—and chaotic—as they are. Their strong personalities and their unique, sometimes contentious dynamics with each other would make for an explosive reaction to such a creative (and audacious) interpretation of their bond. Here’s how each would react:

Wind Waker Ganondorf: The Philosophical Visionary

Wind Waker Ganondorf would raise an eyebrow and read a few lines, initially struck by the bizarre curiosity of it all. While he’s used to inspiring fear and grudging respect, this form of reverence leaves him a bit off-balance. After all, he sees himself as a leader with refined tastes, and now he's reading about himself in... such an uninhibited way. And not just with one Ganondorf, but all of them—and even Demise.

Reaction: He clears his throat, re-reading certain lines with a mix of morbid fascination and absolute bewilderment. Glancing around to make sure no one saw him reading it, he’d probably brush it off with some level of composure.

“It appears that some mortals have vivid imaginations,” he muses dryly. “Though they would never dare write such fantasies if they knew who we truly are…” But the thought would linger, and he’d almost certainly bring it up to the others with a wry glint in his eye, as if daring them to find it as outrageous as he does.

Ocarina of Time Ganondorf: The Cunning Strategist

Ocarina of Time Ganondorf would scoff immediately. Out of all of them, he’s perhaps the most accustomed to being feared and taken seriously, and this fanfiction would strike him as a grand insult. Reading about himself in such a way—alongside the others—he’d be both insulted and incredulous that anyone could imagine him in such a… cooperative dynamic.

Reaction: He slams the fanfiction down, offended but intrigued by the audacity. His initial impulse would be to track down whoever wrote it, but his SO might convince him to let it slide. After calming down, he’d laugh bitterly about it, sharing the material with the others just to gauge their reactions.

“If they believe I would join forces with... them in such a manner, then they know nothing of true power or ambition.” He’d shoot a glare at the others as if daring them to disagree, irritated at the very notion of a “polycule” of any kind.

Twilight Princess Ganondorf: The Brooding Sovereign

Twilight Princess Ganondorf would look at the fanfiction, arms crossed, expression dark. This version of Ganondorf is the most inclined toward solitude and respect, so finding out he’s been depicted in a compromising way alongside multiple versions of himself would both amuse and irritate him.

Reaction: He would read a few sentences, raising an eyebrow as he realizes the implications. Without saying much, he’d likely smirk and put it down, intending to move on—but he’d never quite forget about it. Later, he’d bring it up in a deadpan tone.

“It appears that mortals entertain strange fantasies… involving us,” he says, looking toward his counterparts with a knowing, almost mocking smile. If one of them gets too defensive or dismissive, he might prod them just a little. “Careful. It seems the people want more than just conquest.”

Hyrule Warriors Ganondorf: The Relentless Warlord

Hyrule Warriors Ganondorf, with his love for conquest and his raw, unapologetic approach to power, would probably be the least perturbed by the idea of anyone creating fanfiction about him—even explicit content. He would look at the fanfiction, read a few lines, and burst into deep laughter. He’s not above reveling in his own infamy, after all.

Reaction: He leans back, amused, his laughter booming as he skims through the more intense descriptions. He wouldn’t mind bringing up certain choice passages to the others just to get a reaction. He’s far too arrogant to take it as an insult and might even see it as an entertaining form of flattery.

“Mortals are imaginative creatures, I’ll give them that,” he says, grinning wickedly. “I would gladly entertain such… entertainments if it amused me.” He’d consider it beneath him, but the idea of flustering his fellow Ganondorfs might make him enjoy it.

Tears of the Kingdom Ganondorf: The Resilient Dark King

Tears of the Kingdom Ganondorf would be the most offended, but also the most calculating about it. While the others might laugh it off or get angry, he’d read between the lines, considering the underlying implications of such a story. To him, it reflects the twisted nature of those who revere him and the discomfort they feel toward him. He’d find the entire idea revolting—and he’d question who thought him capable of such an arrangement.

Reaction: He would clench his jaw, reading enough to understand the tone, and then put the fanfiction down, regarding it with open disdain. His SO might have to step in to diffuse his anger. He’d likely say something darkly sarcastic to the others about how certain people must have nothing better to do than indulge in such fiction.

“As if I would waste my energy on such trivialities. Clearly, some minds have wandered too far from reality.” He’d be the most determined to ensure that none of the other Ganondorfs took it too seriously either.

Demise: The Wrathful God of Destruction

Demise would be downright furious. Unlike the others, he has no familiarity with admiration that strays into fanatical love or devotion of this kind. He doesn’t know what “fandom” is and certainly doesn’t understand why anyone would want to write or read about such things. The very notion would infuriate him, but he’d mostly be angered by the idea of being equal to anyone, let alone a bunch of Ganondorfs.

Reaction: Upon reading the fanfiction, he’d rip the pages (or throw the device, if it’s on a screen) in half, visibly disgusted and ready to take his anger out on something. He’d scoff at the notion of a “polycule” and storm off, practically fuming.

“Disgusting! These fools think I would stoop so low—to fraternize with such filth?” He’d barely contain his anger, and his SO might have to remind him that it’s harmless fiction to get him to calm down.

In the end, the reactions would vary from mild disgust to haughty amusement. While Wind Waker Ganondorf and Hyrule Warriors Ganondorf might get a few laughs out of it, Ocarina of Time and Twilight Princess Ganondorfs would likely be irritated yet morbidly amused. Tears of the Kingdom Ganondorf would disdainfully dismiss it, and Demise would storm off in anger. None of them would ever look at a “demonic polycule” story quite the same way again!

[pillarsalt]

You’re very brave, I think most of us would just leave and say nothing rather than stand up and be the lone voice of honesty. I admire you. Nobody saying shit is how it got so far.

Thank you for saying so, anon, but I'd save your praise until we see how long it takes me to work up the gonads to actually do it. I want to find the opportunity to have a serious one-on-one conversation with this friend, though I also feel like having it in front of some of our less internet-saturated mutual friends could implant some doubt in their minds too.

But your last sentence is the main reason I don't want to stay quiet. The culture on the left around gender issues is a false assumption of agreement, because the people who disagree are too scared to voice their opinions. Any time I want to choose to just shut up and keep going along with it, (which I admit I did for a number of years, especially to get through college,) I remember that just going along with it is how we got to the point where, in the province I live in currently, there are imprisoned women with histories of CSA being forced to live, sleep, and shower with violent men who are convicted child rapists. And as uncomfortable and upset as this situation is going to make me, it's jack shit compared to what they are being forced to endure.

I've now read and listened to so many words from people who have had to speak up on various contentious issues and lost friends and opportunities because of it, and it's been really fascinating, and sometimes harrowing, to see the different ways people cope with ostracization from their social groups. I've seen people who find healthy outlets and rebound quickly, making new connections and finding fulfillment through working towards goals. I've also seen people try to sooth themselves by slipping into coping mechanisms that hurt them even more, and sometimes they're shepherded into groups that take advantage of their vulnerable state, lashing out at the wrong people or losing faith in humanity entirely.

But it doesn't have to be the end of the world. It sucks and god, it's so much easier to tell a lie instead of a hard truth. But the more of us that do, the easier it becomes for the next person, and hopefully one day, none of us will have to lie at all.

edit: oh yeah and I watched Twelve Angry Men for the first time last night, which is a good film for inspiring courage in yourself when you have to choose your principles of justice over convenience and popularity.

[glimbowweek]

Glimbow Week 2023 Prompt Inspiration!

We've gotten requests for more info about some of the prompts so here are some ideas for what to do with this year's Glimbow Week prompts!

If you're still struggling to come up with ideas, hopefully some of these suggestions will fire up your muse.

Day 1: Birthday Cake

Sept 9th (aka Day 1 of Glimbow Week) is Bow's canon birthday if you want to use that for inspiration! Things like parties, baking, and gifts are all good places to get started... even if you decide not to make Bow's birthday the focus!

Day 2: Meet Cute

Strangers meeting for the first time? Or their first canon meeting as kids? Decisions, decisions...

Day 3: Enemies / Rivals

Will do you all in with a Horde Swap AU or just some contentious coworkers? Drama! Love. It.

Day 4: Seasonal Vibes

What season? Autumn-y snuggles? Summer sunsets? Winter warm-ups? Spring fling? A sampling of them all? Up to you!

Day 5: Second Chance

Estrangement, a break-up, a long separation, all the angst! How do they come together again?

Day 6: Milestones

Milestones are important events or turning points in your life. Firsts like dates and kisses or learning to drive a car, major life events like marriage or kids, or even markers of adulthood like moving out or getting a promotion!

Day 7: Domestic

Chilling at home together with or without kids, doing chores, laundry and the other mundane tasks of everyday life, bring on all the domestic fluff! Or, fine, make it angsty if you must, it's a free Etheria!

Have more questions? Our ask box is always open!

[anhed-nia]

PS I almost saw IN A VIOLENT NATURE for the first time at an open air screening on Governor's Island, a popular NYC destination for outdoor entertainment and close-to-home glamping. I thought that was a great idea, but ultimately I skipped it because I wanted to see the film for the first time without the light pollution and ambient noise. They made this cool graphic for it, though...which immediately triggered comments section controversy about AI.

The social media person replied that the image was not AI-generated; though the "scene" does not take place in the movie, it is a photograph of a person wearing the screen costume, just doing something fun on Governor's Island to advertise their cool event. No matter what your general feelings are about AI in commercial art, we can probably all agree that it sucks that we have to have these onerous arguments about everything now.

For me, and I think for anyone who enjoys visual art, the medium matters--not because of some imaginary hierarchy of importance, but because different media have different effects, traditions, and implications. And because, with respect to AI, the statement "This really happened!" and the question "Wouldn't it be cool IF this really happened?" inspire very different responses. My personal, casual feeling is that AI art is OK as long as it is easily identifiable as such; like I've seen some really fun AI images whose particular kind of outrageousness makes appropriate use of that specific medium. I'm a "right tool, right job" person, I think some things should be paintings and some things should be photos, some things should be stage plays and some things should be movies. You should carefully choose your medium and exploit the unique qualities of that medium based on exactly what you're trying to accomplish. For this reason I think that AI images that are just trying to fake the effects of i.e. painting or photography kind of suck. And related to that I object to living in a world where we all just have to throw up our hands and say "Oh well, there's no way to know anymore whether something is physically-real or whether it's just a hypothetical representation of something that maybe-could-be real, I guess the only thing we can do is not give a shit about where anything comes from or how it got here and what that all means." For me, "There's no way to ever know anything for sure so who fucking cares" is not an acceptable default setting. (And I realize this is becoming the central issue of our day due to all kinds internet-enabled misinformation and I'm treading on the hem of a way bigger topic here, but never mind all that now...)

But still, I find myself just as annoyed with fakery as I am with people who instantly declare something to be fake. Frankly I think those guys are just scared of being fooled and so they're trying to preserve their own sense of superiority by declaring everything to be fake before they have any evidence one way or the other. This is a very different thing in its consequences, I know, but some of these guys sound just like the bigots who go around trying to clock random strangers as trans; they always have these ridiculous lists of "evidence" that turn out to be just as applicable to afab and amab people as they are to people who have transitioned. It's all roughly the same flavor of defensiveness from people who are scared of being tricked into believing or feeling something that will turn out to be a fraud. And I can sympathize with that to some degree, I don't wanna be tricked into believing in, for instance, awesome-looking photo shoots that never happened; like if you said it wouldn't matter to you if the photos Thierry Mugler shot on top of the Chrysler Building turned out to be digital fakes, then I would happily call you a liar. But what I really hate more than anything right now is this immediate effect where as soon as anything cool-looking appears online, we all have to have these contentious arguments where insecure jerks pound their chests about how un-foolable they are...and sometimes it turns out that the "AI art" is real and so their claims to amazing powers of perception are a big embarrassment. I guess my conclusion is that if everyone agreed to make AI imagery clearly identifiable in some way, then we could all stop having our good time spoiled by this paranoid bickering that has become the prerequisite for enjoying anything. But that's probably an impossible dream.

[casteliacityramen]

Munday Lore Post: Threat Assessment - Humanity

Preface:

I have made it my goal to live amongst them, so my perception is understandably biased. That being said, like my last assessment and the ones before this one, I still wholeheartedly believe that humanity should be inducted into the Order of Arceus.

Description:

Humans are bipedal mammals that exhibit anomalous behaviors, bodily functions, and capabilities. Their genetics are a scrambled mess. The average human holds little to no Aura, Psychic Abilities, or Physical Strengths that would put them on par with even the mildest of pokemon.

Their offspring are even born in extremely vulnerable conditions, as opposed to pokemon who have proper time to incubate into functional sapient beings.

Humanity, as a whole, is fragile and anomalous. It's almost as if their existence was a mistake.

If you asked me last assessment, classifying them as pokemon would be erroneous. However, their bodies have been slowly adapting over the past century. More can access latent aura abilities. More psychics are born. Their tolerances to pain and stress are increasing, as well as their inherent physical strength.

Their lower lifespans and fragile nature is nothing but an obstacle to overcome. Their ability to innovate is unmatched, even in comparison to our artificers. If they have a problem, they will brute force their way to a solution, even if some of the results end in certain death. They've built complex tools and machines; flown, swam, and lived through environments they were never meant to be in; and have bested the odds time and time again. It's as fascinating as it is inspiring.

Assessment:

Humanity's ability to cooperate with each other and other pokemon are unparalleled amongst any other pokemon. Arguably, if life was a competition as to see who can build the most complex societies, humanity would come first "by a country mile," as the Unovans call it. I'd argue that it even puts the Order to shame.

Humanity is coming into another renaissance, this time, surrounding culture and cooperation after their previous industrial renaissance. International cooperation is at an all time high, and continuing to rise. This time, I believe that they intend to bring the rest of existence with them on this journey.

Pokemon life, as we know it, is about to become fundamentally different than ever before. Soon, there may even be a time where pokemon can innovate as well as humanity, given that they have the societal structure to no longer worry about basic needs.

It's always been our responsibility, as relfected in The Order's Creed, to guide existence towards enlightenment, but the relationship has been mutual. The Order uses their technology, re-organized multiple times to match their societal structures, and took inspiration from their innovations to create our own.

I believe that Humanity is the overt counterpart to our covert role in history. It's as if they have taken our role as Shepherds, Stewards, Scribes, Artificers, and even Councilors, to guide the world towards peace and enlightenment, and I still stand by this claim after their tumultuous times during and after the Kanto-Johto War. If anything, it's a testament to humanity's inherent cooperative nature that they have only had a full scale conflict every one thousand years.

This will undoubtedly be another contentious decision, but I motion that humanity be inducted into the Order. I believe that humanity will be able to do astronomically more things with Arceus's blessing than we ever can. I ask you all to reconsider your past decisions.

Scribe and Artificer J.

MOTION: DENIED

[posttexasstressdisorder]

Scientists have fiercely debated the existence of ‘Planet 9’ for a decade. Some say evidence is piling up

By Jacopo Prisco, CNN

Updated: 6:07 PM EST, Wed November 6, 2024

Source: CNN

Our solar system used to have nine planets. Astronomer Mike Brown, also known as “the man who killed Pluto,” said he got hate mail from kids and obscene calls at 3 a.m. for years after his most famous finding helped change that.

Brown, a professor of planetary astronomy at Caltech, discovered another small world called Eris in the Kuiper Belt — a vast ring of icy objects beyond Neptune’s orbit that also happens to be the former ninth planet’s neighborhood. The 2005 revelation set off a chain of events that led to Pluto’s still-controversial demotion from planet status the following year.

But now, just as the Kuiper Belt effectively took a ninth planet away, Brown and other scientists believe it could give one back.

The belt, which astronomers believe is made of leftovers from the solar system’s formation, extends 50 times farther from the sun than Earth, with a secondary region that reaches beyond it for nearly 20 times that distance. Pluto, now classified as a dwarf planet along with Eris, is just one of the largest among the scores of icy bodies that exist there — and doesn’t dominate its own orbit and clear the orbit of other objects. That’s why it can’t have the same standing as the remaining eight planets, according to guidelines laid out by the International Astronomical Union.

Because objects in the Kuiper Belt are so far away from the sun, however, they are difficult to spot. For more than a decade, astronomers have been searching that area for a hidden planet that has never been observed, but its presence is inferred by the behavior of other nearby objects. It’s often called Planet X or Planet Nine.

“If we find another planet, that is a really big deal,” said Malena Rice, an assistant professor of astronomy at Yale University. “It could completely reshape our understanding of the solar system and of other planetary systems, and how we fit into that context. It’s really exciting — there is a lot of potential to learn a tremendous amount about the universe.”

The excitement comes with some controversy — different camps have competing theories about the planet itself while some researchers believe it doesn’t exist at all.

“There are definitely full-blown skeptics about Planet Nine — it’s kind of a contentious topic,” Rice said. “Some people feel very passionately that it exists. Some people feel very passionately that it doesn’t. There’s a lot of debate in trying to pin down what it is, and whether it’s there. But that’s the hallmark of a really interesting topic, because otherwise people wouldn’t have heated opinions about it.”

Soon, the debate could be settled, once a new telescope capable of surveying the entire available sky every few nights comes online in late 2025. Until then, a team of researchers believes it has found the most compelling evidence yet that the hidden planet is real.

A ‘smoking gun’

The search for Planet Nine has only recently kicked into gear, but the discussion about its existence dates back more than 175 years.

“Since Neptune was successfully discovered in 1846, at least 30 astronomers have proposed the existence of various types of trans-Neptunian planets — and they’ve always been wrong,” said Konstantin Batygin, a colleague of Brown’s who is also a professor of planetary science at the California Institute of Technology. Any body orbiting the sun beyond the orbit of Neptune is defined as “trans-Neptunian” by astronomers.

“I never thought I would be talking about how there’s evidence for a trans-Neptunian planet, but I believe that unlike all of those previous times, in this case, we’re actually right,” he added.

Batygin and Brown are among the most vocal supporters of Planet Nine. The pair has been actively working on finding the hidden planet since 2014, inspired by a study by astronomers Scott Sheppard, staff scientist at the Carnegie Institution for Science in Washington, DC, and Chadwick Trujillo, associate professor of astronomy and planetary sciences at Northern Arizona University.

Sheppard and Trujillo were the first to notice that the orbits of a handful of known trans-Neptunian objects were all strangely clustered together. The duo argued that an unseen planet — several times larger than Earth and more than 200 times our planet’s distance from the sun — could be “shepherding” these smaller objects.

“The most visually striking evidence remains the earliest: that the most distant object(s) beyond Neptune all have orbits (that) point in one direction,” Brown said in an email.

Batygin has since coauthored half a dozen studies on Planet Nine, offering several lines of evidence about its existence. The strongest, he said, is in his latest work, coauthored by Brown and two other researchers and published in April in The Astrophysical Journal Letters.

The study tracks icy bodies subject to some kind of perturbation that’s injecting them into the orbit of Neptune before they leave the solar system entirely. “If you look at these bodies, their lifetimes are tiny compared to the age of the solar system,” Batygin said. “That means something is putting them there. And so what can it be?”

One option could be something called galactic tide, a combination of forces exerted by distant stars in the Milky Way galaxy. But Batygin and his team ran computer simulations to test this scenario versus the presence of Planet Nine, and they found that a solar system without the hidden planet is “strongly refuted by the data.”

“That’s a really remarkable smoking gun. And it’s obvious in retrospect, so I feel a little embarrassed that it took us almost a decade to figure this out. Better late than never, I suppose,” Batygin said.

Planet Nine, according to Batygin, is a “super-Earth” object, about five to seven times the mass of our planet, and its orbital period is between 10,000 and 20,000 years. “What I cannot calculate from doing simulations is where it is on its orbit, as well as its composition,” Batygin said. “The most mundane explanation is that it’s kind of a smaller version of Uranus and Neptune, and probably one of the cores that participated in the formation process of those planets.”

The super-Earth hypothesis is perhaps the one that gets the most support among Planet Nine believers, but competing theories present alternative explanations.

Super-Pluto? Competing Kuiper Belt theories

A study published in August 2023 proposes the existence of a hidden planet that’s actually much smaller, with a mass between 1.5 and 3 times that of Earth. “It’s possible that it’s an icy, rocky Earth, or a super-Pluto,” said Patryk Sofia Lykawka, an associate professor of planetary sciences at Kindai University in Japan and coauthor of the study.

“Because of its large mass, it would have a high internal energy that could sustain, for example, subsurface oceans. Its orbit would be very distant, much beyond Neptune, and much more inclined if compared to the known planets — even more inclined than Pluto’s, whose inclination is about 17 degrees,” Lykawka said. (Astronomers refer to a planet’s orbit as inclined when it’s not on the same plane as Earth’s.)

The presence of the planet is derived from computational models meant to explain the strange behaviors of populations of trans-Neptunian objects, which suggests similarities with Batygin’s research. However, Lykawka pointed out, his model does not look at the same orbital alignments and is very different from Batygin’s. That’s why he doesn’t refer to the mystery object as Planet Nine but “Kuiper Belt planet” instead, to “make it clear that we are talking about different hypothetical planets,” he explained.

Other theories propose that the anomalies everyone’s trying to explain are due to something else entirely, such as a primordial black hole — created just after the big bang — that our solar system captured as it moved across the galaxy. Another idea suggests that there might be something wrong with science’s current understanding of gravity.

But according to Rice of Yale University, these theories would be very difficult to test. “There are lots of other ideas, but I usually try to go with Occam’s razor when it comes to deciding what to prioritize in terms of checking,” she said, citing a classic principle of philosophy that states that among competing ideas, the simplest is usually correct. “In terms of scientific viability, we know that there are eight planets already, so it’s not so crazy to have another planet within the same system.”

The most promising path forward, she added, is actually finding more of the trans-Neptunian objects that Batygin is basing his hypothesis on — and proving that it’s statistically significant that their orbits are clustered.

The push for more evidence

Some researchers believe that currently scientists have detected too few of these distant trans-Neptunian objects to draw any conclusions about their orbits.

“We have about roughly a dozen or so of these objects,” said Renu Malhotra, regents professor of planetary sciences at the University of Arizona, “but we observe only the brightest ones, and only a tiny fraction of even those, because we observe them when they are at their closest approach to the sun.”

The data suffers from observational bias, according to Malhotra, which is why researchers are skeptical about it. Among the skeptics is Sheppard of the Carnegie Institution for Science, one of the coauthors of the 2014 study that inspired Batygin’s research.

“By now, we expected to have found many more of these extreme trans-Neptunian objects,” Sheppard said in an email. “Having several tens of them would allow us to reliably determine if they are truly clustered in space or not. But unfortunately we are still in the small-number statistics realm, because they are much rarer than first thought. Right now I would say it’s possible there is a super-Earth planet in the distant solar system, but we cannot say that with a lot of confidence.”

The controversy can get heated, according to Malhotra. “Scientists come in different personality types, just like everybody else. Some are more aggressive about their science, while others are more measured,” she said. “There is a perception that the idea of a Neptune-mass Planet Nine is being pushed more aggressively than the statistics justify.”

Malhotra coauthored an August 2017 paper suggesting the presence of a Mars-size planet in the Kuiper Belt, but she’s not ruling out the Planet Nine hypothesis entirely.

“It’s up in the air. It’s just at the edge of statistical significance,” she said. ”But there’s nothing in the physics we know and the observations we have that rules out the possibility of large planets at tens of times the distance of Neptune from the sun.”

Observing the planet directly would, of course, end all controversy, but every attempt so far has come up empty.

Batygin coauthored a March study that used data from the Panoramic Survey Telescope and Rapid Response System, or Pan-STARRS, observatory in Hawaii, allowing researchers to analyze 78% of the sky where Planet Nine supposedly could be — but they couldn’t find it.

“It’s been a real slog,” he said about the attempt, citing the difficulty of having to work with telescopes over just a few days of allotted time while fighting against equipment breakages and adverse weather.

Spotting such a distant object without knowing where to look is exceedingly hard, and akin to searching for a target with a sniper rifle instead of binoculars, according to Batygin.

“The sky is a really, really big place when you’re looking for something so painfully dim,” he said. “This thing is something like 100 million times less bright than Neptune — that’s really pushing towards the edge of what’s possible with the absolute largest telescopes in the world right now.”

Other searches, such as one performed for a December 2021 study using the Atacama Cosmology Telescope in Chile, have also come up short. “I had to test tens of thousands of different orbits. In the end I didn’t spot anything,” said the study’s lead author Sigurd Naess, a researcher at the Institute of Theoretical Astrophysics of the University of Oslo in Norway.

The instrument’s sensitivity, he added, was good enough that it should have been able to detect a planet in an area between 300 and 600 times the distance between Earth and the sun.

“That’s enough to be informative, but far from enough to disprove Planet Nine as a whole,” Naess said in an email.

A potential ‘new chapter’

Amid controversies and diverging opinions, all of the researchers agree on one thing. A new wide-angle telescope currently under construction could soon put the debate to rest, once the US National Science Foundation and Stanford University researchers start scientific operations in late 2025. Called the Vera C. Rubin Observatory, it has the largest digital camera ever built and sits atop an 8,800-foot mountain in northern Chile.

“This is a next-generation telescope that will search the entire available sky every few days,” Batygin said. “It might just find Planet Nine directly, which would be a fantastic conclusion to the search and open up a new chapter. At the very least, it will find a ton more Kuiper Belt objects. But even if it doesn’t discover a single new object, it will be enough to confirm the Planet Nine hypothesis, because it will test all of the statistics, all of the patterns that we see with an independent survey.”

Rice agrees that the telescope will go a long way to settling the debate, and clearly address the question of the statistical significance of the alignment of trans-Neptunian objects — the key point of evidence for Planet Nine.

If the Rubin telescope finds a super-Earth, Rice said, that would be exciting because these celestial bodies, between the sizes of Earth and Neptune, are a common type of exoplanet.

“We do not have one in the solar system, which seems really strange, and has kind of been an outstanding mystery because we find so many of them in systems around other stars — it would be incredible to actually study one up close, because exoplanets are so far away that it’s very difficult to get a real grasp on exactly what they physically look like,” Rice said.

Finding a smaller planet would also spark excitement, Rice added, because every solar system planet is immensely useful for extrapolating information about the thousands of comparable exoplanets that researchers are uncovering across the galaxy.

And what if nothing shows up at all? It would still be useful to know for sure how many planets there are, Rice said. “I think not even knowing the number of planets in our own solar system is very humbling.”

That means that even the facts that many people learned from textbooks as children can change, as scientists discover more about the universe.

“That’s actually a wonderful thing,” she added. “Human knowledge is continually moving — sometimes it’s huge shifts, sometimes it’s just a back-and-forth debate. It’s a fun, emblematic example of the scientific process.”

[basilpaste]

i did. actually classpect the rest of the nda. so heres the list + makoto is also there. for the record: i play my class pairs out mostly like the fandom consensus does, but i am an active page passive knight girlie.

halara: prince of mind (active+ class, forced to play a passive- role) destroys mind through logic. desuhiko: maid of space (also active+ in a passive- role) creates space through innovation. fubuki: thief of time (active+ in a passive- role) steals time to solve problems. yakou: page of rage (active+ class in an active+ role, tries to appear passive-) makes a path with rage. yuma: heir of heart (passive- class, forced into an active+ role) provides heart through logic. vivia: seer of void (passive- class, tries to play an active+ role) understands void through emptiness. kurumi: sylph of hope (passive- class, plays a passive- role) creates hope with belief. makoto: knight of heart (passive- class in a passive- role, tries to appear active+) protects heart through logic. shinigami: not a player, a sprite or a game construct of some sort, but plays the role of a muse of doom (passive- class, works as a passive- guide). leads others to doom as the embodiment of doom.

more incoherent rambling under the cut!

i knew from the jump that i 100% wanted to make halara a prince. all the canon princes (dirk, kurloz, eridan) are very self-oriented. mind was also a given. taking knowledge and understanding and breaking down falsehoods. its. yeah. halara is the most 'detectivey' detective in the cast.

i wanted there to be both a time and space player, so there could theoretically be a functional session. desuhiko worked for space for that reason! his forte works by altering the space he takes up, creating something new in that space. so i gave him an active class that creates things: maid.

fubuki was always going to be a time player. shes the time character. i jumped back and forth between thief and rogue for her, but i liked the idea of the majority of the master detectives having active classes. she steals time for herself. she may use it to assist others, but the time she takes is localized to herself.

everyones favorite contentious opinion: active page! rage, to me, is the aspect of emotion. yakou applies his emotion, makes a plan and utilizes the emotions of himself and others to create an end. pages have great potential if allowed to reach it. page of rage yakou.

ive already talked about yuma! heart player of all time.

i wanted vivia to have the most passive classpect i could think of. seer of void comprehends emptiness. vivia makes himself as 'empty' as possible. he sees into the void with his forte. forcing a seer into a situation where he actively fights against the truth while also forcing someone else to reach the truth feels very in line with his actual arc in the game.

kurumi is a sylph of hope! she inspires hope in others! she gathers information, she creates things from what she wants to believe in. but its all very much in the background. i also liked the idea of her and desuhiko being a passive/active pair.

ive talked about makoto too! woah!

shinigami would not be a player but she would effectively be a muse of doom. she doesnt give the answers but provides a way to them. without her influence, nothing would happen. but shes never actually the one solving the problem. she allows doom to happen.

oh also i think each mystery labyrinth would be equivalent to someones land! like... in chapter two it starts in desuhikos land and they end up in kurumis when they find that the paths all lead to each other. technically desuhikos land would have to be 'and frogs' since hes a space player but. bwuh.

makoto would have a solo session that kind of... bashes into theirs. if it was an actual game. the peacekeepers would probably be the midnight crew lmao. yomi is jack.

i guess order of operations as far as server/clients would be like. yuma 'has no server player' but other than that it goes: yuma -> halara -> desuhiko -> kurumi -> fubuki -> vivia -> yakou. and then its either 'technically shinigami is yumas server player' or 'technically makoto is yumas server player'. i guess with the twist of the game the second one makes more sense, though?

[tobiasdrake]

I need to take back something I said earlier. I was angry and being uncharitable. This case aggravates me in a way that is definitely deliberate but no less aggravating for it.

More rambling about the contentious issue ahead, but with a cooler head.

"Kaede rejects the First Blood Perk because she wants to fridge herself for Shuichi's benefit" was an unkind reading. I do still think that the FBP is Kodaka's way of shielding himself from criticism for what he knew would be a contentious creative decision. But there is more to her decision than that.

Kaede's ultimate objective in rejecting the FBP is that she wants to try to unmask the Mastermind. She's holding onto hope that that they can still thwart the Mastermind via Shuichi's (bad) plan, now that her own (murderous) plan has failed. Clinging to the belief that she can outfox the Mastermind by putting herself right in the Mastermind's crosshairs and letting the Mastermind fire.

I still don't like this. It would be an easier pill to swallow if they just hadn't made the FBP a thing to begin with, and Kaede was forced to react with a Sword of Damocles hanging over her head. And more than that, I'd still prefer they just didn't play this mean-spirited prank on the audience to begin with.

At the end of the day, she's still staring down the barrel of a gun and going, "Go ahead and pull that trigger! Letting the bullet tear through my skull will be my ultimate checkmate!"

And in a sense, she's right. Her Class Trial coming back to haunt Tsumugi is what brings about the end of the Mastermind. She does ultimately defeat the Mastermind long after her body's gone cold. But. That still doesn't impress me because. Like.

Sakura did it. The best part of the mean-spirited switcheroo is when it's making Kaede into a cheap copy of much better-developed characters from other games. We've seen dark secrets revealed about our protag right under our nose. We've seen a character off themselves as part of an elaborate and successful scheme to take down the Mastermind. It's been done.

Lazily copying off the homework of some of Danganronpa's best cases isn't good enough to justify presenting us with an interesting new protagonist, one of multiple Firsts even, and then suddenly tearing the rug out from under the player.

I have a lot of negativity towards Shuichi because of this as well, which really isn't his fault. It's hard to forgive V3 for what they did with Kaede, when they were trying to be the most subversive that a subversion's ever subverted. It starts the game off on a terrible foot, and in turn makes it difficult to give Shuichi a fair shake as a character.

Compared to Makoto and Hajime, Shuichi isn't a bad character. But it's hard to like him when the way we get him is by having Kodaka tear our character from our hands, punch us in the face, and then throw Shuichi on the ground and go, "No, you'll take THIS character and you'll FUCKING THANK ME FOR IT." That's not a writer-audience dynamic that creates positive feelings towards that character.

The game is banking on the fact that Shuichi's nice personality and emotional arc about an insecure sadboy learning to be confident in himself and vastly more screentime in the driver's seat letting us see his inner thoughts and feelings will ultimately be enough to convince us to let go of Kaede. That we, like Shuichi, will come to see Kaede as a martyr taken before her time who must inspire us to greatness.

And if it did for you? Great. I'm happy for you. But I didn't want Kaede to be a martyr. I wanted her to be the protagonist. That was what the game promised me. And when I look at Shuichi, all I see is yet another Makoto. The fourth Makoto, in as many games.

Yet more lazily copied homework to try and make the biggest dick-move that Danganronpa's ever pulled look clever.

That's probably uncharitable too. But it's hard for me to care about this guy after the character I did care about was torn away from me.

[agent-cupcake]

*read horrorshow the nth time*

do you have any fav horror movies to recommend?

I've probably recommended all of these before but here we go again with the bad takes! Wahoo! OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD

The Exorcist - my most favorite horror movie ever. I don't think a lot of people find the actual spooky ghosty stuff scary (unsettling for sure) but the characters are next level and the production and acting are unmatched. Ellen Burstyn's performance as a mother losing her mind trying, and failing, to save her daughter is haunting. It also lead to me doing my best Greek grandmother impression whenever I say Dimi, so there is that.

Jacob's Ladder - an inspiration for the first Silent Hill, this movie portrays unreality as well as Perfect Blue. It's super disorienting and impactful, I watched it coming out of a project focusing on the Vietnam War and... yeah, it's pretty miserable. Although there is a lot of horrific imagery, t's a genuinely heart-breaking film in some places. The core of horror is trauma, right?

Hereditary - the ending is pretty scary, but the thing that stands out in this movie is how miserable it is. Like with the previous two I wouldn't recommend it on the fear factor, it's more of a character deconstruction through the lens of a horrifying situation. Alex Wolff's character is masterfully written and executed. Obviously I've never dealt with such severe trauma, but his response and mental decline is very relatable.

Midsommar - It's the cult movie. People say it's boring, I disagree, but it's not really scary either. More... uncomfortable. I love that the protagonist is already in such a vulnerable and destructive state. Like she's just not doing well. It's been a huge inspiration in my own writing, and Florence Pugh is lovely. Like with Anya Taylor-Joy, it was interesting to see her get so popular after being a contentiously reviewed horror movie.

Blair Witch Project - who hasn't seen this? It remains at the very top of the found footage genre for a reason, the entire thing is amazing. People say it's lost its luster with the oversaturation, but I disagree, the acting and style of the OG sets it apart.

The Witch - the first thing I ever saw Anya Taylor-Joy in before she was everywhere. Solid movie, it uses all period accurate dialogue. It's not my favorite from a horror standpoint, but the scenario alone is sickening enough to be a selling point. The dad character's actor has a nice voice, don't @ me.

Perfect Blue - there is nothing I could say about Perfect Blue that hasn't been said before, but it is a masterpiece. Watch it. If you like animation, if you like psychological studies, if you like feeling real icky, watch it. Just do it.

Se7en - more of a thriller I suppose, but it definitely works as a horror. It's up there with my faves and is another movie that's been an inspiration in my writing.

It Follows - I mention this because I was listening to the soundtrack, but its a beautifully shot film with a very strong aesthetic vision. It's the "demon STD" movie, which is dumb and imo pushes some really harmful narratives about STD's and I'd say that the far more impactful reading is sexual trauma.

Suspiria (2018) - I'm not one for body horror but there's a scene in this that just... woah. I've never seen the original but I know the new one is very different, and it's amazing. I might be alone in this but it's a shame Dakota Johnson is in such trash movies because I think she's so cute.

The Shining - another classic that must go on this list because it is, unironically, just that good. Shelley Duvall deserved better, that's a fact. That her performance was so fantastic is astounding to me. It's funny that people say that her reaction is unrealistic when that was her genuine reaction to being put in a traumatic situation. Amazing film, she is a star.

I'm definitely missing some movies but such is the way my brain doesn't work. Thank you for your time <3

[calchexxis]

FANFIC APPRECIATION MEME

FANFIC APPRECIATION MEME

Post recommendations for your ten favourite fanfics and tag the authors if possible. Tell us what you like about their work.

Tag five people of your choice to do the meme too."

I was tagged by @blood-lich-crow @heroinejinx and @ghostofyaz

Fair warning, I do not read much Fanfic anymore as I spend most of my time writing it, so some of these fics are probably going to feel really scattered. With that said, let’s get into it.

LIGHTCANNON (Lux/Jinx)

Non-Linear Growth by @booking-and-blogging (Elfen1012 on Ao3)

A lot of people reading my work have said that Flashbangs is the Lightcannon bible, but if that’s true then NLG by Elfen1012 is the Lightcannon New Testament. It hits the ground running from the perspective of a Jinx that is trying to piece herself back together after the end of Arcane and it is something to behold. I cannot recommend this enough.

Luxurious Anarchy by @cannibalelf (Cannibal_Elf on Ao3)

A kind of Soulmate-lite longform fic in which Lux is drawn across the span of Valoran to find her one-and-only: Jinx, mad and still struggling with the events of Arcane. This is just a really fantastic romp through the world of Piltover and Zaun, thoroughly enjoyable on every level. The prose are punchy, the narrative is clean, and I really enjoyed my time with it.

Friction Coefficient by @blood-lich-crow ( Blood_Lich_Maeve on Ao3)

I would argue this is probably the best Modern!AU Lightcannon on Ao3 right now, at least in my very subjective opinion. It gracefully deals with a lot of delicate topics like internalized (and external) homophobia and transphobia, trans issues, and addiction. This is one of the messiest romances I’ve ever read and I am here for it. 

PISTOLWHIP (Caitlyn/Jinx)

the lover of my impossible soul by Goldfyshie927 on Ao3

This Modern!AU features Caitlyn as a professional escort who is drawn into a relationship with the wealthy and chaotic Jinx in order to keep her father happy and convince him she had mellowed out somewhat. The profound sense of loneliness you get from both characters throughout the story, and the way they inelegantly mesh together is really profound, and I look forward to seeing more of this story come out. Big recommendation for very unusual ship.

SYLVAINA (Sylvanas/Jaina)

Vintage by (jointly) @redisaid and @uninspired--poet

How do I put this. To date, I’ve read the entirety of Vintage six times. Vintage isn’t just a fanfiction I think is good. Vintage is one of the fanfictions I go back reread every now and again to remind myself what willful romance is supposed to look like. In this Modern!AU where Jaina is a college student and scion of a wealthy family, while Sylvanas is the owner of a small, failing vintage goods shop in New York. It’s a story about falling in love and then choosing to stay that way despite the many things that crop up. It’s about coming up against the difficulties in relationships and choosing love, with all its messy difficulties, over the path of least resistance. Read this, I am begging you.

Fearless by @redisaid

This might be the best example of modern magic I’ve ever read. It’s as subtle as it is overt, and as entrenched a part of the world as it is wholly separate from it. Jaina, a ghost-eating witch, finds a house haunted by a powerful banshee, and fully intends to consume her for power. Over the course of the story, that changes, and everything from the side characters, to the small moments, to the strong finish has stuck with me to the point that it inspires aspects of my own writing.

Within The Drift by @uninspired--poet

It’s hard to do a good crossover, even when the crossover’s make a kind of thematic sense. Writing a good crossover when the two subjects have jack shit in common is testament to a great author’s skill. Within The Drift is a fantastically put together sci-fi/fantasy action-romance crossing over Pacific Rim with World of Warcraft, featuring Sylvanas and Jaina as contentiously drift compatible pilots. I’ve read this story back to front several times, and it never gets old.

KAZULA (Azula/Katara)

Measure Each Step to Infinity by paxbanana

Set in Post-Canon ATLA, Measure is fantastic enemies-to-lovers-to-wives story full of angst, intrigue, action, and redemption. It has one of my favorite depictions of Azula and, surprisingly, Aang, which the story humanizes wonderfully. Azula is as morally gray as ever, and her struggle to leave behind the horrors of war and emotional abuse inflicted on her by her father to be better, and Katara’s growing dedication and devotion to her over the course of the story is gripping.

KORVIRA (Korra/Kuvira)

you know you'd look good in my hand by Goldfyshie927 on Ao3

Phenomenal Modern!AU Kuvira fic and I will shamelessly plug this because I love a good bartender character. Kuvira and Korra instantly charm in the first chapter, and their friendship blossoms into a lot more. This is a story that’s impossible to summarize without spoilers, but it is an absolute rollercoaster of emotions, drama, angst, and disaster gays from start to finish and you’d be doing yourself a favor by reading it.

PILTOVER’S FINEST (Caitlyn/Vi)

Run At The Cup. by @thehomelybadger (TheHomelyBadger on Ao3)

I’ve reviewed this story before on this very blog so I really feel it’s necessary to have it here. I don’t read a lot of CaitVi but this one absolutely knocks it out of the park. Or rather, into the goal. Run At The Cup is a Hockey!AU, it’s a fantastic underdog story of a brand-new NHL team, the Zaun Sumprats, and it’s mix of sports jargon, action-packed hockey games, and interpersonal and political drama make for an absolutely gripping story.