#inspector bloom
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aquamarineglow · 2 months ago
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Pokes you
Pokes you
Pokes you
Pokes you
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lavendernarwhal72 · 2 years ago
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Why he kinda… 🤭
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band au now. Here it is. God damn it.
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So anyways this is all Emmy’s fault. Girlie just wanted her own rock band and made it everyone else’s problem. Now there’s a group of mid-twenties to forty somethings trying to relive the glory days.
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On another day:
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And lastly:
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And to top it all off I have a relationship sheet. Sometimes you think Desmond is baby girl, sometimes you remember that by curious village he’s a 43 year old man. Sometimes that doesn’t stop him from being babygirl. He’s like the trap of the group, where teens will see edits of him online and start stanning him. Bro doesn’t know what that means and is too scared to bother finding out. Emmy finds it hilarious.
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In this au, Desmond works as a renowned archeology professor with a loving wife and a daughter under a fake identity. His relationship with his father is none-existent, having cut all contact in his teens. His brother, Theodore, was taken by child-protective services in his youth and doesn’t remember Des at all.
Emmy, is a journalist for the company, Targent. She used to travel the world in search of good stories, but recently settled down in the area to follow the story of a famous archeology professor, one Hershel Layton. She also recently connected with her cousin Desmond. He is unhappy about this.
Clive, is also a journalist for a competitor company, World Times. He and Emmy were fast friends due to their mutual love of compelling stories and teasing. They get drunk on Saturdays and complain/gossip to each other. He seems to have a vendetta against a local politician, Bill Hawks, but Emmy can’t quite pin down why.
Bloom is a local investigator on the force who keeps the police in line with Targent’s goals. He influences the top brass and the police’s young prodigy. He and Emmy see each other often during Targent briefings and are close workmates, though not entirely by his choice.
anyways that’s all from me idk man that original drawing of Clive wasn’t supposed to have lore
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teenytinyapprentice · 1 year ago
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NPC appreciation week: day 4 - Miracle Mask / Azran Legacy
Leonard Bloom and Swift These two were never in a room together in canon (to my memory anyways) but I gotta adore Targent agents with a bit of personal flair haha - two characters we never really get to know much about but they have such stand out fun appearances and personalities! I think they're frenemies for sure... (feat. Bronev's weird little ferret that only showed up once ever...)
@layton-npc-appreciation-week
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mooredanxieties · 8 months ago
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sunnyskies281 · 1 year ago
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I FINALLY COMPLETED THE TING I WANTED TO DO.
HE SPIN.
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ernestlaytonpolls · 11 months ago
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Me, still on the Midsomer Murders track
“….heeeeey who’s that cute twinkish Orlando-bloom- wannabe ? ……..what.”
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tomepact · 2 years ago
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im changing my tagging system please hold
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eggiesins · 4 months ago
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Sandrock Bachelors Being Drunk
Mild NSFW so Minors DNI
My first head canon post, enjoy!
Arvio
Arvio already has no idea what inhibition is so expect his personality to intensify by 200% while his ability to actually come up with schemes drops by 200%.  He’s gonna have so many half-baked terrible ideas that he will immediately try to act upon, so be ready to keep him on a kid leash to avoid some really dumb incidents.  “Builder!  I just had the best idea for how to get more investors for By the Stairs, but we have to act fast!  I’m hopping on the next train to Atara right n- what do you mean it can wait til morning??”  Arvio already slurs his words, so drunk Arvio I could see being almost unintelligible.  Once he’s drunk enough, he’ll constantly flip back and forth between beaming over how much he loves the builder and sobbing over Fang’s most recent rejection.
PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE rizz
Amirah helps at first, but clocks out of babysitting after the first hour of shenanigans.  Good luck Builder.  He’s your responsibility now.
Burgess
Sweet, sweet summer child Burgess.  He’s not much of a drinker, but would easily be peer pressured into drinking games, especially if the Builder wants him to play.  Others offer to drink for him if he wants, but Burgess insists that, as the Chief Water Inspector, his high hydration levels and position of bureaucratic authority give him a high enough tolerance to make it through the whole game.  They do not.  Sweet baby boy’s never been drunk before and has no idea how to handle it, so be ready to babysit this one too.  He’s gonna cry over how beautiful the cactus flowers are in full bloom, how Banjo jumped in his lap and started purring, and how you’re an angel from the Light sent to save Sandrock.  Keeping him hydrated is easy, but if he does throw up, he’ll never forgive himself for the wasted water.
He’s very good at listening to the Builder’s instructions and advice on sobering up, though.  Of all the drunks on this list, he’s the easiest to comfort and get to bed by far.
Drunk Burgess is a “sinner” (by his perspective) & 100% gives Pen the “you’re a bully but I forgive you” speech instead of turning the other cheek or forgiving immediately.
Ernest
It’s been a while for him.  Did he drink and party with Luna back in Atara?  100%, but since arriving at Sandrock, he’s been so busy with hyper fixating on Logan and trying to survive droughts and sandstorms, there hasn’t been much of an opportunity for him to just let loose and party.  Once he finally does, though?  Mans is writing sonnets on sonnets on sonnets.  None of them rhyme, or even make sense, but he gives them his all anyway.  “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?”  “Ernest, you said that one already.”  “Did I?  I guess every time I see you, I seem to just forget everything else.”
Ernest is pretty open about flirting with the Builder normally, so when he’s drunk, expect to hear it way way more.  He’s gonna rizz up that Builder as well as his drunk brain can ‘cause he absolutely LOVES seeing them blush because of him.  He’s all talk though, well aware that when he’s drunk, neither he nor anyone else should take him seriously.  He’s just having fun!
Fang
I could see Fang going one of two ways when drunk: either he realizes he’s drunk and immediately goes to sleep regardless of location OR his walls come down and you get to see an almost completely unfiltered Fang.  When his walls come down, oh man, Arvio better watch out.  If Arvio were to try any shenanigans, Fang is definitely telling him to shut up and sit down.  He’s grumpy normally, so drunk Fang would be much more likely to express that grumpiness.  It’s not that he’s a mean drunk so much as he is just more comfortable expressing himself under the effects of liquid courage.
If he’s with the Builder, he becomes soooooo clingy and jealous.  “The feel of your touch, unforgettable.”  Yeah he’s not giving up the feel of your touch while he feels confident enough to truly demand it.  If the builder is standing, he’s right behind them with arms around their waist.  If the builder is sitting, his head is on their shoulder, hand on their thigh, glaring down other townies who get too close.  
X lowkey loves when Fang gets drunk because it means he doesn’t have to filter what he says either, not that he does it too much normally.  He definitely eggs Fang on if the kind doctor happens to be roasting someone (Arvio) like a squawking mini-hypebeast.  At the same time, X helps the builder out a lot with getting Fang to drink water and go to sleep.
He has a very low tolerance, 4 drinks max
Justice
Our favorite Sheriff and tiredest dad of all the bachelors, Justice definitely knows how to drink.  One of his best friends is the local saloon owner, so yes, Justice has a pretty high tolerance.  With that, Justice tends to be pretty mellow when he drinks, but if he’s with the builder, he’s getting flirty too.  He’s gonna lean hard into the cowboy aesthetic, with a fake tip of the hat before asking the builder to dance.  During the dance Justice is pulling the builder close enough to stand on his feet (so he doesn’t drunkenly stumble on them) & going all the way with the spins and twirls.  He’s not elegant by any means, but he is fun!  He’s giggly and having a good time (probably annoying Logan).
If the builder is a friend, he’d insist on walking them home to see them off safely before stumbling back to his house.  If the builder is more than a friend, Justice is definitely laying on the rizz  and trying to get laid down at the workshop.
[insert “hmm society” question about life here] (seriously though, why do all the civil corps members wax philosophical so often?)
Logan
We all know the yakboy only dances when he drinks, but what else will he do when drunk?  Logan has a temper, yes, but he’s also a soft gooey ball of affection with the people he cares about, and that dichotomy is on full display when he drinks.  He avoids drinking games (they’re dumb & childish & he’s a grown man, damnit), but if the Builder wants to get up to drunken shenanigans?  Oh he’s in.  
“Darlin’, are you seriously tellin’ me ya wanna go build a scarecrow that looks like death to set up outside Cooper’s house ‘n scare him when he wakes up at 4am?”  “Ye”  “What do ya need me to do?”
Surprisingly, not a horny drunk at all (fanfic writers sue me).  BUT, he is an affectionate drunk with the builder.  Kinda like Fang, he’s all about the physical affection, especially in public.  The builder is his, and he’s gonna make sure it stays that way.  When they get home, he just wants to lay in bed with the builder in a cuddly vice grip til they both fall asleep.
He definitely relies on Rambo knowing the way home, just hops up, tells the goat where to go, and halfway passes out in the saddle.  He’s definitely getting roasted for being a lightweight by Andy when he gets home.
Miguel
How else would a religious fanatic obsessed with discipline act when drunk?  Off the rails ranting & outright simping for the builder.  Full stop.  I’m not even a Miguel fan and I know this man is so down bad for the builder.  He wouldn’t even want to drink initially, until the builder challenges him to a game.  “Very well, Builder.  For the person who has done the most to promote telesis in this barren land, I can surely raise a glass or two in celebration.”
Once he’s drunk, expect a strange combination of sermon and praise for the builder (he will definitely be mortified in the morning).  But if the builder even touches him by accident, he’s already hiding a sneaky semi tenting his pants.  
“Miguel…are you hard right now?”  “Builder, it would be a sin for me to deny the truth of this situation.  *proceeds to dramatically throw his jacket off*  Take me now, body and soul.”  “I mean, sure, but…can that wait til we can get home?”  “OH…………………..yes”
The next morning, while nursing a hell of a hangover and the raw, unfiltered embarrassment of drunken mistakes, he vows to never drink again.  At least, as long as the builder doesn’t ask him to.
Owen
Honestly?  I don’t see Owen acting too differently when drunk, just a lot less anxious when interacting with the builder.  Seemingly out of nowhere, his stuttering and nervous way of speaking with the builder is gone, replaced with a more confident barkeep.
He’s wicked good at drinking games, having spent his entire life inside of a saloon.  If you think you’re winning beer pong or rage cage against Owen’s 6 foot something ass, you’re wrong.  There’s a reason Justice and Logan outright refuse to play drinking games with him, and it’s cause it always ended with someone throwing up.  Never Owen, though.  He’s got a finely tuned tolerance for alcohol and knows exactly where his sweet spot is.  
He won’t really try to initiate any sexy times with the builder, but if they start dropping hints for him?  “Justice, can you watch the bar while I step out with the builder real quick?  They need some help..um…perfecting a new recipe.”  Cue Justice’s shit-eating grin.  “Sure pardner, take as long as y’all need” with a quick wink at the couple
Pablo
Is he drunk, or has he just been pretending to drink that much?  Who knows?  Pablo’s been around, especially in Walnut Groove.  He knows how to drink and even more so, he knows how to look how to drink especially.  He’s watching the town get absolutely smashed with glee, taking stock of everything that happens, especially anything embarrassing.
He’s the one who calls at 8am the next morning when you’re hungover to hell and back and tell you, in excruciating detail, every embarrassing thing you said and did, just in case you forgot.  All in all, I think he likes to drink a little, socially of course, but he’s far more interested in getting others drunk instead of himself.
Pen
Assuming that Pen can get drunk (he is sensitive to Duvos peppers), he’s gonna be glued to whatever the nearest reflective surface is.  But what actually surprises the builder is how genuinely affectionate he becomes with them, especially if they’re not officially a thing yet.  He wants them sitting in his lap so he can wrap their skinny arms in his big arms the entire time.
When he’s not being affectionate, he’s definitely trying to spar with them, though.  For Pen, fighting is very much foreplay, and this is even more true when he’s drunk.  He would already be turned on just by the builder existing, so a drunken brawl at 2am?  He’s the hardest he's ever been the entire time, full stop.  Bro is so hard from fighting the builder he has to take care not to fall flat on his face or he might break Pen jr.  
Pen avoids getting drunk because it also makes him feel guilty, at least some part of him.  He doesn’t necessarily like deceiving the builder (Sandrock he could take or leave tbh), but he has to so he can protect the life he wants for himself.  The builder changed a lot of that for him, so he feels a lot of guilt about keeping secrets.  Don’t be surprised if drunk Pen says he needs to confess something, only to go silent for 5 straight minutes before telling them he’s just hungry.
Qi
You know that meme about the guy’s roommate who blacks out and designs an entire airplane?  That’s Qi when he drinks, but with spaceships.  How did you get him to the saloon to start drinking in the first place?  Three words: Saloon Trivia Night.  Qi is competitive, and assumes that he’s usually at the top of his respective totem pole, so when Owen starts including trivia questions about archaeology, building, agriculture, etc, Qi can get frustrated relying on his team to answer for him.  And for every round lost, that’s another drink finished.  Soon enough, he’s ranting about the uselessness of “soft sciences” and the possibilities of interstellar space travel (someone please just make out with him and shut this nerd up)  The drunker he gets, the more he only excuses the builder’s mistakes and no one else’s.
This man definitely gets hot and bothered when drunk, but has no idea what he’s feeling or what to do about it, so he usually just goes to bed.  If the builder is romancing him, though?  The builder will definitely need to initiate things, but from there a now-uninhibited Qi goes off, following any and every instinct he can that the builder will allow.  He wants to try everything with them, for science of course.  
Unsuur
Regular Unsuur is honest, if a bit stoic.  Drunk Unsuur is too honest, and still kinda stoic.  As soon as he has a thought, he’s saying it, no filter.  It doesn't matter who he is talking to or what he is saying, he’s gonna let loose with whatever he’s thinking.  “Hey Cooper, why do you talk so much?  Like, you talk a lot.  Going on and on, kind of like I am now.  Why do you do that?”
“Unsuur, are you drunk?”
“Yeah.  Oh.  Builder, can I make love to you until you’re breathless and destroyed and the only word you know is my name?  I think you’d be really beautiful like that”
“Unsuur, we’re in public! Everyone can hear you right now.”
“Oh, yeah.  We should probably go home before doing that.  Pretty sure having sex in public is a crime.”
Aside from shamelessly flirting with the builder, Unsuur would also just wax philosophical to all the town pets in some corner of the saloon.  None of the other drunks there could keep up with his train of thought, but he doesn’t let that stop him.  Now Macchiato’s third eye is open, and he’s considering joining the civil corps under Captain.
I hope you guys enjoyed the headcanons! Let me know if you want to see the bachelorettes too! Yan has dialogue in the game about "mixing yakmel milk and catnip" so if y'all want any other headcanon posts, intoxicated or otherwise, let me know!
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aquamarineglow · 2 months ago
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Boops you
Boops you
Boops you
Boops you
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smug-puppy · 7 months ago
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An Inspector Calls themed golf course at Alton Towers??
"I don't play golf"
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monstersflashlight · 3 months ago
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Alien inspector (part 5): experiment
Alien x fem!reader || humiliation (very light), degradation (very light), sex toys, overstimulation, bondage
Not in your best judgment, you find yourself walking to his door the next day. You don’t know why you are doing it, he treats you like shit most of the time, but then he shows you a hint that he cares and you melt back into his hands. His long soft hands… You sigh dreamily as someone passes and gives you a weird look. You probably look insane, a lonely human walking down the corridor of a floor without humans. You are reminded, once again, that you are the weird one in the station. There’s dozens of types of aliens and creatures in the base, and humans are the minority here. But that doesn’t stop you on your steps as you keep walking until you are right in front of his door, hope blooming inside of you.
You try to burn that hope down, you try not to think too hard about it. It means nothing, you repeat inside your head over and over. It’s just sex, you try to convince yourself. But it’s all a lie, you are hopeful, it is more than sex, and definitely means something to you. That’s why you spent an extra hour getting ready and moisturizing every single inch of your body so you are extra soft for him. He probably won’t even notice, but you still have a spark of giddiness inside of you at the thought of him realizing.
...
Keep reading on Patreon (more info here).
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bumblebugwrites · 2 years ago
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Borrowed and Blue
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Pairing: Anthony Lockwood x fem!Reader
Summary: In another brilliant plot to keep the agency afloat, Lockwood decides to marry you for tax benefits. Only he seemed to have forgotten to let you know. With an inspector from DEPRAC coming to ensure the legitimacy of your marriage, what’s left but to tell you the truth? Only you don’t take it too well. And you happen to be the world’s worst liar.
Warnings: Cursing, Minor angst, Unedited writing.
A/N: So “Lover” coded that I had to indulge myself with the title.
Word Count: 3.1k 
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“Luce, I’ll need you to go to Satchell’s and pick some salt-bombs; we’ve been running pretty low lately. And George, once you’ve hit the Archive for the day, if you could–”
As Lockwood’s incessant directions continued, you allowed your head to slump forward so as to obscure his looming figure with the shape of the quickly cooling mug in your hands.
“Oh, and that reminds me (Y/N), the inspector’s coming round this afternoon to ensure the validity of our marriage, so I’ll need you to be prepared for that.” That sentence alone was enough to pull you away from your own thoughts.
“Excuse me?” The question was followed by a soft chuckle, the kind you only managed when you’d been caught off guard.
“Did I forget to tell you about the visit?” 
“You’re joking, right?”
Across the small table, George cleared his throat awkwardly, moving to make his escape before Lucy’s sweater-clad arm shot out, pulling him back into his seat, fully enthralled with the happenings before her.
“Lockwood?” From his place at the counter, he hummed back in response. Still, the brunet had busied himself at an unprecedented pace with making a piece of toast and refused to turn his head in acknowledgment.
“This is a joke, right? Because I would know if we were actually married, right?” He made no answer, but his avoidance of your gaze had already been enough to send you over the edge, and you nearly reeled as a physical spike of panic shot through your core.
“Anthony Lockwood, you answer me right now.” You were standing now and teetering on the edge of making your way out into the entry and returning with some choice words and your rapier.
“Well, it’s not like you missed the marriage. I did bring you along.”
“What?”
“You remember that day I brought you with me to the Register Office?”
“You said you needed someone to co-sign the water bill.”
“I gave you a ring–”
“You said you got that out of one of those coin machines full of toys! I thought it was just a silly gift!”
“Right, well, I’m not buying you another wedding ring, so you had better still have it.”
“Lockwood! You can’t just marry someone without asking!” By now, you had left your seat to jab angrily at his chest as you marked each new point. From her place beside George, Lucy slurped at her tea.
“Look, I had already mortgaged the house to hell and back, and we needed the money desperately, so I figured an extra tax write-off couldn’t hurt.” And though it shouldn’t have, the rage quelled itself a little.
“Why didn’t you just ask me?” But your voice lacked the anger from before, hitting sharper as each word was tinged with hurt.
“You would have said no. And besides, you’re a terrible liar.” Lockwood flashed you with his signature smile at that last bit, and you couldn’t help the warmth that began to bloom deep within you. You had to admit, being married to Lockwood wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. Especially with the insufferable feelings you’d been housing for the boy for the last year and a half. Still, this was not how you wanted things to go. 
“But wait, that trip to the Register’s Office was at least a year ago. Why are they coming for a visit now?” One of Lockwood’s hands which had planted itself on your shoulder in a soothing gesture, leapt up to scratch at the back of his neck.
“Well, the thing is, because we aren’t legally adults and neither of us have any parents to sign off on a marriage, I had to pull some strings with DEPRAC to get the license to even go through. So now, every year, to make sure everything is all legal, or whatever–” Lockwood raised his hands to form air quotes around the word legal but quickly retracted them as you swatted at the gesture.
“--they’ve insisted on sending an agent to perform a kind of check-in. To make sure we’re still in love and all that.”
“Still?” George questioned, only to be met with a prompt smack to the head from Lucy.
“So are you saying we could lose our jobs over this?”
“Let’s not forget the house,” supplied Lucy from behind her mug.
“And the house?” Lockwood didn’t answer immediately, instead selecting to fix his eyes on the floor.
“Presumably, yes, that could be one outcome–”
“Oh my god,” George groaned, moving his glasses to pinch the bridge of his nose.
“But not if all goes well,” Lockwood reassured the group.
“Right, so let me get this straight, the fate of our careers–”
“And our home,” Lucy interjected once more.
“And our home, is all in the hands of (Y/N), a notoriously bad liar, lying to a Fittes agent about a marriage she was unaware of until this morning?” George questioned.
“That would be correct.”
“We are so fucked.”
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It had taken Lucy an hour to calm you down, let alone lure you out from under the covers of your shared bed. 
“I’ll kill him if you’d like me to.”
“Urgh, it’s not that, Luce, it’s just–” 
“It’s just that you wanted things to go differently?” Lucy raised a suggestive eyebrow as a slow smirk spread across her face, but there was no malice in her look. Embarrassed, you turned to hide your face in the pillow beside you.
“Look, Lockwood’s a twat, but he cares about you, and I’m sure if you asked, he would end the whole thing in a second. He was just, well, I hate to say it, but he was just trying to look out for us. In his own, extremely fucked up Lockwood way.” Lucy added the last sentence in a quick attempt to amend the ever-souring scowl on your face.
“And hey, who knows, maybe something will finally come out of this. I mean, you have to admit, being married is pretty romantic.” She smiled at you, and it was soft, encouraging almost.
“Besides, it’s not like the two of you weren’t going to end up together anyways. If anything, he’s just streamlined the process.” With that, you tightened your grasp on the pillow, swinging it in a deadly arc aimed at her head. Just then, a third voice interrupted your siege.
“Oh, hi Luce, mind if I have a quick word with my wife?” 
Your eyes grew wide as they took in Lockwood’s lanky figure, leaning with ease against the railing at the head of the stairs.
“Too soon, Lockwood,” you grumbled, and for a moment, the suave smirk didn’t reach his eyes. Still, he moved slowly into the room as Lucy made her exit, throwing you a thumbs up as she descended from out of the attic.
Taking a seat on the edge of the bed, careful not to crush your legs beneath the covers, he appeared almost nervous before his hand disappeared into his pocket and rematerialized, holding a small velvet box.
“This is for you.” He smiled to himself, sweet and boyish, as he was in moments like these. Moments with just you two. As you moved to take the box from his grasp, his fingers touched yours, lingering against them for just a second before pulling away.
The box was old. That much was immediately obvious. And the hinges keeping it together were rusty enough to make opening it a bit of an effort, but when the lid lifted, your breath caught in your throat.
“Oh, Lockwood, it’s beautiful.” You sat in awe of the small ring nestled within the box’s velvet folds. It was simple but elegant, with a single gem at its center, and you couldn’t help but reach out to trace the smooth metal of its shank.
“Where did you–”
“It was my mothers.” His voice was vulnerable, barely above a whisper.
“Lockwood, I can’t–”
“It’s fine, really. Besides, it's just for today.” But you could see the stress the simple action caused him from the way he toyed with the wedding band now looped around his own finger.
 “Anyways, I really just came up here to go over the plan.” 
“The plan?” You balked, eyes snapping away from the heirloom in your hands.
“Yes, we need a story, of course. How we fell in love, how we came to be married. You should know our wedding anniversary as well. April 14th, remember that.”
“April 14th? But that’s today.”
“And?”
“I– I haven’t gotten you anything.”
“Well, it's not like this is a real marriage.”
“Oh. Right.”
“I’m thinking we say I fell in love first, then you. Women love that sort of thing–”
“No, no, we should say we’ve been in love since the moment we met,” you argued, thinking of your own feelings.
“Well, that’s not very realistic.”
“Doesn’t mean it isn– can’t be true.”
“I suppose so.”
“Maybe we should both just think of our own moment. When we fell in love with the other.” Lockwood seemed suddenly to choke on air but quickly coughed his way past it.
“Great idea.”
“We can say you proposed on a bridge overlooking the Thames,” you suggested, but Lockwood only scoffed at the idea.
“Actually, I was thinking we could say it happened on a mission. Maybe you were hurt, and I was afraid I might lose you forever. That when I realized you were alright, I asked you to marry me on the spot. That I didn’t see the point in wasting any more time on anyone else.”
Your mouth grew dry at his suggestion, and the best you could attempt was a meek nod in response.
“Perfect,” he stood quickly, as though brushing off the intimacy of the moment, and began to head for the stairs, “I’ll leave you to finish getting ready then.” By the time you’d managed to grasp your words, he had disappeared from your line of sight, leaving you alone with your thoughts and his mother’s ring. 
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You were descending the stairs when the knock came, and you felt your hand move to twist anxiously at the ring newly decorating your finger. At the bottom of the stairs, Lockwood turned his head just in time to meet your gaze, the nervous look plastered across his face softening into one of ease. Probably just for show. You reassured yourself, straightening your shoulders as you reached the final step. Just before opening the door, the boy beside you cast some final words in your direction.
“Remember, I’ll do most of the talking.”
You could only nod in response as the door swung open, revealing the DEPRAC agent. She seemed immediately to be a severe woman with a stern look set deep within her face and eyes that scanned each of you suspiciously before entering the home. 
“Is there somewhere you’d prefer for me to conduct my interview.”
“That would be the library,” answered Lockwood, jumping into action, “(Y/N) love, how about you pop the kettle on and maybe grab some biscuits.” 
“Of course.” You smiled, but it was forced, the only mirth in your soul emerging from the sure knowledge that George would have a field day with Lockwood later on for his failure to follow the ‘Biscuit Rule’.
As he departed for the library, guiding the woman along with him, you could already hear the echos of his charming chatter as they bounced off the walls of the home. Everything will be fine, the words looped in a self-soothing mantra, filling every corner of your head as you prayed to any god that would listen to get through this interview in one piece.
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“And when would you say you fell in love with Miss. (L/N)?” The woman made no reaction to her question, simply opting to continue scribbling notes on her pad. Thus far, Lockwood had done a successful job of veering most questions away from you, though it would be a miracle if your nerves had gone unnoticed between the incessant bouncing of your leg and your consumption of three separate cups of tea over the span of thirty minutes.
“In love?” Lockwood stuttered beside you, and you and the woman turned simultaneously to inspect him closer, his confident facade nearly shattered at the mention of the word. Still, he recovered rather quickly, retrieving his easy smile only a second later.
“Yes, well, I assume that came before the marriage.”
“Of course. Let’s see, then.” He stopped for a moment as though pondering the question though the movement of his hand as he toyed with his ring confirmed to you he was just nervous. In an action you could only hope appeared natural, you reached over, stilling his fidgeting fingers by lacing them with your own. Lockwood looked suddenly at you, and the quiet crack in his performance showed itself only to your eyes.
“It was six months after we first met. We’d been researching for a big mission all day, and when we finally got home, I passed out. I woke up; it was probably three in the morning by then. Came down to the kitchen for some water and– and there you were, in the library, fast asleep.” Lockwood had long since stopped looking at the inspector. “You were in my armchair. I’d probably seen you in that armchair a thousand times. And you had a case file spread out over your chest. You looked ridiculous. But I knew immediately something had changed. I could feel it as I carried you up to the attic that night and the next morning while I was sat listening to you laugh at George’s stupid jokes. Like those feelings that were just a bit of a bother before were eating me alive. It’s– It’s how I feel every time I look at you: like I’m more afraid than I’ve ever been in my life and yet perfectly at home at the same time.” He was quick to look away when he finished, flashing the DEPRAC agent with a smile and leaving you frozen in the wake of his words, struck by his ability to manipulate the truth.
“Just one more question then. Ms. (L/N), marriage at sixteen that’s not something you see every day. What made you say yes?”
Lockwood’s eyes flashed quickly to your face, but as he opened his mouth, the woman quieted him with a motion of her hand. 
“Not you, Mr. Lockwood. I’d like to hear from Ms. (L/N).”
This had not been within the parameters of your preparation. Lockwood’s favorite color, how he took his tea, the date of your anniversary? Easy breezy. You might have even been able to fumble your way through how you’d fallen in love with the arrogant bastard, given its basis in the truth. But you weren’t really married, and you’d never really said yes, so where did that leave you? And like a saving a grace, a question made itself known in your head. If Lockwood had really asked you, why would you have said yes?
“I suppose I didn’t quite understand the proposal at first either.” That much was true; for fucks sake, you’d missed the thing entirely. “But after a while, it made sense. I mean, not a day goes by we aren’t risking our lives for our work. There’s no guarantee of any future with a job like this, so why not marry young? Otherwise, we might not marry at all.” The second part came out rushed, the lie forcing its way past your lips. It wasn’t in your character to be impulsive, even if time seemed to be your enemy. Still, you forced yourself to delve deeper. To seek a truthful answer to that lingering question. Your breathing slowed.
“And then, one day, I think I realized that for me, it was always going to be Lockwood. That had he asked me five or ten or even twenty years down the line when we were old and boring, I’d of still said yes. Because– Well, because I couldn’t imagine spending my life with anyone else.” 
You turned your head slowly to catch Lockwood’s eyes lingering on your face. His expression was unreadable. Your brow creased in your efforts to learn more from the set of his features, and for a moment, you lost yourself in him. 
The woman’s notebook snapped shut. You felt yourself scramble from the loveseat you’d been sharing with the boy, and he followed close behind.
“That’s all from me. The agency will contact you in a few days to follow up, but as far as I’m concerned, you’ve passed.”
Without giving time for the information to be digested, she stood and left. Turning to face Lockwood, you were quick to pull his mother’s ring from your finger and place it in his palm.
“Well, now that that’s finished–”
“(Y/N)--” 
“I’ll be in the attic–”
“(Y/N).”
“Lots of research, probably.”
“How did you do that.” The look on his face was one of disbelief when you finally met his gaze again.
“What?” You knew what.
“You know what. You can’t lie to save your life. How did you–”
“Really don’t see how this is important, Lockwood–”
“Were you telling the truth?” You were silent for a moment.
“You got us into this. I could’ve– I would’ve stayed silent forever, but you had to come up with another insufferable plot. And I’m sorry, I can’t lie like it’s some sort of second language– That was quite good, by the way, the way you made me feel– made it seem like there was some chance in hell that you loved me back–”
He dragged you in all at once, catching you by the waist and interrupting your scattered thoughts with his lips. Kissing you. Soft at first, but deeper, harder, as you brought your hands up to his neck. As you kissed back. By the time he pulled away, you were breathless.
“It was never– I was never– God if I thought I could lie my way through this, I would’ve asked George or Lucy even. It had to be you because– because it was always real with you. I have loved you ever since I met you. That night in the library only confirmed it.”
“I thought that was unrealistic.”
“Maybe for someone who's never been in love with you.”
“Ask me again if I’ll marry you.”
“Again?” His eyebrows raised at the implication that there had been a first time.
“Just do it, you twat.”
“(Y/N) (L/N), will you marry me?”
“A million times yes, Anthony Lockwood. A million times, yes.”
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In celebration of the fact that this blog has stayed alive for a whole year, it's now time for the .....
Happy One Year Tournament! Each character was chosen completely objectively and fairly: they're my favorite characters :) Instead of waiting a week between sides, I'm posting half of them on Saturday and the other half on Sunday. We'll continue to go through the tournament that way until there's only two left. I hope everyone has had a fun time with this silly blog!
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Saturday, Dec 7th lineup
Anton Herzen vs Ilyana
High Inquisitor Darklaw vs Kira
Katia Anderson vs Macaroon
Claire Foley vs Detective Inspector Leonard Bloom
Jean Descole vs Newton Belduke
Lucille Layton vs Simon
Sunday, Dec 8th lineup
Hazel vs Matthew
Mimi vs Emmy Altava
Dimitri Allen vs Clive Dove
Lila vs Pepper
Desmond Sycamore vs Jasmine
Ridelle Mystere vs Cogg
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