#inspection 12

[anbaisai]

Happy birthday to @crystallizsch and the lovely Yuusha! May you have another wonderful year full of happiness and currynoodles💜

[msmc-796-official]

[Approximately 70 crates of exotic and vintage booze addressed to "You Know Whom"]

// ...Christ-the-Buddha almighty. SLIPSHOD! Get your ass in here!

alright, alright, you don't have to yell, I'm coming. what's going o- YO HOLY FUCK!!!

> Will you two keep it down in he- ah. Well then.

// Thirty, fourty, fifty... seventy?! Seventy crates of alcohol sitting in our hangar. Where in the name of RA did all of this come from?

no clue, unless it's from the same person who's been sending weird-ass gifts and threats to everyone else lately. that would explain why they addressed it to "you know who" instead of, y'know, our actual names. more specifically my name, given that a good chunk of this appears to be vodka, which I know for a fact you two don't drink

> That doesn't explain the fine layer of dust on everything, though; especially given that none of this was here during the Brawl, and we were only gone for approximately a week. How old are these bottles, exactly? Are we sure these are even safe to consume?

// Hm. From the looks of it, not all of these are vodka - there's all sorts of unusual bottles in here. Some of these I don't even recognize the labels on... wait, is there homebrew in here???

wait, really?! lemme see - I wanna take a shot of whatever the fuck that is before killjoy K over here makes me dump it. pass that shit!

> Absolutely not. You are going to assist myself and Phoenix in cleaning up this mess; then we can get to the matter of organizing all of this liquor and seeing what of it is actually drinkable.

you are no fun whatsoever, Kennedi. frankly, I think we could all use a drink after the bullshit we just had to deal with. look - clearly this ain't all for me, there's a whole crate of gin right there. (I think I saw some whiskey in there too, somewhere...)

// I think I'm gonna side with Kennedi on this one, Shoddy - all this dust is making my eyes water. Let's clean this mess up first, then we can crack a few bottles open and see what all we've got.

ugh, fine. I'll go grab a bucket and some rags from my shop. this is gonna take a while...

-- Angel, Slipshod, & Lockbreaker

[windydrawallday]

NECK KI-- that's Not a Kiss

For sure he learned it from [Swindle] x'D

[rainbowbeanstyles]

the ctrl+p for paywalls didnt work for me:p but the first option copy all and paste thing did work👍

[bengallemon]

good morning gamers

[always-evergreen]

they were so real for this actually

[chronicallyexisting]

I can't believe I'm buying a fucking house. I got news about my rent doubling, didn't sleep for a week, and 6 days later I'm under contract to buy my own place

[sophiamcdougall]

You're a reasonably informed person on the internet. You've experienced things like no longer being able to get files off an old storage device, media you've downloaded suddenly going poof, sites and forums with troves full of people's thoughts and ideas vanishing forever. You've heard of cybercrime. You've read articles about lost media. You have at least a basic understanding that digital data is vulnerable, is what I'm saying. I'm guessing that you're also aware that history is, you know... important? And that it's an ongoing study, requiring ... data about how people live? And that it's not just about stanning celebrities that happen to be dead? Congratulations, you are significantly better-informed than the British government! So they're currently like "Oh hai can we destroy all these historical documents pls? To save money? Because we'll digitise them first so it's fine! That'll be easy, cheap and reliable -- right? These wills from the 1850s will totally be fine for another 170 years as a PNG or whatever, yeah? We didn't need to do an impact assesment about this because it's clearly win-win! We'd keep the physical wills of Famous People™ though because Famous People™ actually matter, unlike you plebs. We don't think there are any equalities implications about this, either! Also the only examples of Famous People™ we can think of are all white and rich, only one is a woman and she got famous because of the guy she married. Kisses!"

Yes, this is the same Government that's like "Oh no removing a statue of slave trader is erasing history :(" You have, however, until 23 February 2024 to politely inquire of them what the fuck they are smoking. And they will have to publish a summary of the responses they receive. And it will look kind of bad if the feedback is well-argued, informative and overwhelmingly negative and they go ahead and do it anyway. I currently edit documents including responses to consultations like (but significantly less insane) than this one. Responses do actually matter. I would particularly encourage British people/people based in the UK to do this, but as far as I can see it doesn't say you have to be either. If you are, say, a historian or an archivist, or someone who specialises in digital data do say so and draw on your expertise in your answers. This isn't a question of filling out a form. You have to manually compose an email answering the 12 questions in the consultation paper at the link above. I'll put my own answers under the fold. Note -- I never know if I'm being too rude in these sorts of things. You probably shouldn't be ruder than I have been.

Please do not copy and paste any of this: that would defeat the purpose. This isn't a petition, they need to see a range of individual responses. But it may give you a jumping-off point.

Question 1: Should the current law providing for the inspection of wills be preserved?

Yes. Our ability to understand our shared past is a fundamental aspect of our heritage. It is not possible for any authority to know in advance what future insights they are supporting or impeding by their treatment of material evidence. Safeguarding the historical record for future generations should be considered an extremely important duty.

Question 2: Are there any reforms you would suggest to the current law enabling wills to be inspected?

No.

Question 3: Are there any reasons why the High Court should store original paper will documents on a permanent basis, as opposed to just retaining a digitised copy of that material?

Yes. I am amazed that the recent cyber attack on the British Library, which has effectively paralysed it completely, not been sufficient to answer this question for you.  I also refer you to the fate of the Domesday Project. Digital storage is useful and can help more people access information; however, it is also inherently fragile. Malice, accident, or eventual inevitable obsolescence not merely might occur, but absolutely should be expected. It is ludicrously naive and reflects a truly unpardonable ignorance to assume that information preserved only in digital form is somehow inviolable and safe, or that a physical document once digitised, never need be digitised again..At absolute minimum, it should be understood as certain that at least some of any digital-only archive will eventually be permanently lost. It is not remotely implausible that all of it would be. Preserving the physical documents provides a crucial failsafe. It also allows any errors in reproduction -- also inevitable-- to be, eventually, seen and corrected. Note that maintaining, upgrading and replacing digital infrastructure is not free, easy or reliable. Over the long term, risks to the data concerned can only accumulate.

"Unlike the methods for preserving analog documents that have been honed over millennia, there is no deep precedence to look to regarding the management of digital records. As such, the processing, long-term storage, and distribution potential of archival digital data are highly unresolved issues. [..] the more digital data is migrated, translated, and re-compressed into new formats, the more room there is for information to be lost, be it at the microbit-level of preservation. Any failure to contend with the instability of digital storage mediums, hardware obsolescence, and software obsolescence thus meets a terminal end—the definitive loss of information. The common belief that digital data is safe so long as it is backed up according to the 3-2-1 rule (3 copies on 2 different formats with 1 copy saved off site) belies the fact that it is fundamentally unclear how long digital information can or will remain intact. What is certain is that its unique vulnerabilities do become more pertinent with age."  -- James Boyda, On Loss in the 21st Century: Digital Decay and the Archive, Introduction.

Question 4: Do you agree that after a certain time original paper documents (from 1858 onwards) may be destroyed (other than for famous individuals)? Are there any alternatives, involving the public or private sector, you can suggest to their being destroyed?

Absolutely not. And I would have hoped we were past the "great man" theory of history. Firstly, you do not know which figures will still be considered "famous" in the future and which currently obscure individuals may deserve and eventually receive greater attention. I note that of the three figures you mention here as notable enough to have their wills preserved, all are white, the majority are male (the one woman having achieved fame through marriage) and all were wealthy at the time of their death. Any such approach will certainly cull evidence of the lives of women, people of colour and the poor from the historical record, and send a clear message about whose lives you consider worth remembering.

Secondly, the famous and successsful are only a small part of our history. Understanding the realities that shaped our past and continue to mould our present requires evidence of the lives of so-called "ordinary people"!

Did you even speak to any historians before coming up with this idea?

Entrusting the documents to the private sector would be similarly disastrous. What happens when a private company goes bust or decides that preserving this material is no longer profitable? What reasonable person, confronted with our crumbling privatised water infrastructure, would willingly consign any part of our heritage to a similar fate?

Question 5: Do you agree that there is equivalence between paper and digital copies of wills so that the ECA 2000 can be used?

No. And it raises serious questions about the skill and knowledge base within HMCTS and the government that the very basic concepts of data loss and the digital dark age appear to be unknown to you. I also refer you to the Domesday Project.

Question 6: Are there any other matters directly related to the retention of digital or paper wills that are not covered by the proposed exercise of the powers in the ECA 2000 that you consider are necessary?

Destroying the physical documents will always be an unforgivable dereliction of legal and moral duty.

Question 7: If the Government pursues preserving permanently only a digital copy of a will document, should it seek to reform the primary legislation by introducing a Bill or do so under the ECA 2000?

Destroying the physical documents will always be an unforgivable dereliction of legal and moral duty.

Question 8: If the Government moves to digital only copies of original will documents, what do you think the retention period for the original paper wills should be? Please give reasons and state what you believe the minimum retention period should be and whether you consider the Government’s suggestion of 25 years to be reasonable.

There is no good version of this plan. The physical documents should be preserved.

Question 9: Do you agree with the principle that wills of famous people should be preserved in the original paper form for historic interest?

This question betrays deep ignorance of what "historic interest" actually is. The study of history is not simply glorified celebrity gossip. If anything, the physical wills of currently famous people could be considered more expendable as it is likely that their contents are so widely diffused as to be relatively "safe", whereas the wills of so-called "ordinary people" will, especially in aggregate, provide insights that have not yet been explored.

Question 10: Do you have any initial suggestions on the criteria which should be adopted for identifying famous/historic figures whose original paper will document should be preserved permanently?

Abandon this entire lamentable plan. As previously discussed, you do not and cannot know who will be considered "famous" in the future, and fame is a profoundly flawed criterion of historical significance.

Question 11: Do you agree that the Probate Registries should only permanently retain wills and codicils from the documents submitted in support of a probate application? Please explain, if setting out the case for retention of any other documents.

No, all the documents should be preserved indefinitely.

Question 12: Do you agree that we have correctly identified the range and extent of the equalities impacts under each of these proposals set out in this consultation? Please give reasons and supply evidence of further equalities impacts as appropriate.

No. You appear to have neglected equalities impacts entirely. As discussed, in your drive to prioritise "famous people", your plan will certainly prioritise the white, wealthy and mostly the male, as your "Charles Dickens, Charles Darwin and Princess Diana" examples amply indicate. This plan will create a two-tier system where evidence of the lives of the privileged is carefully preserved while information regarding people of colour, women, the working class and other disadvantaged groups is disproportionately abandoned to digital decay and eventual loss. Current and future historians from, or specialising in the history of minority groups will be especially impoverished by this.  

[buildinginspections]

Confidence in Every Corner: Your Essential Pre Purchase Building Report

After the inspection, you receive a detailed pre purchase building report. This document provides an in-depth analysis of the property’s condition, highlighting any concerns or potential issues. 

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Read More:

[fosteringinsc]

Becoming a Foster Parent in South Carolina: What Questions to Expect in Your Home Study

Becoming a Foster Parent in South Carolina: What Questions to Expect in Your Home Study. Are you considering becoming a foster parent in the beautiful state of South Carolina? Embarking on this noble journey requires thorough preparation, including a home study assessment. This crucial step aims to ensure the safety and well-being of the children entering the foster care system. To help you…

[throw-your-boat]

excuse me ao3, you can't just send me an email about a fic update and then do this

[helpanas]

Verified by:

ghost-90 click here

One day in July, Anas had gone to inspect his home and their family home because they were displaced into a tent and were hoping to move back. However, when he arrived the occupation fired at him from planes and hit him directly on his feet. He was buried under rubble and Anas' injuries were extensive. Thankfully, his friend was able to rescue him and take him to the hospital, where only the bone in his leg was intact, and the remaining tissue was extensively damaged.

At the hospital, Anas received reconstructive surgery. The doctor performed 12 reconstructive operations, transferring tendons, connecting nerves, and building muscle and skin from transplants from his hip. He was spared from amputation thanks to the surgeon, however the damage to the nerves and tissues was unable to be completely treated due to lack of resources.

Although Anas has received some treatment and surgeries since his injury in July, he requires more extensive treatment abroad where they have the resources to treat him properly and possibly do an ankle transplant. Anas is a father to a young girl, and wants to be able to walk again and play with his daughter more than he can now.

[jeezypetes]

Had a dream i was studying abroad(?) and i was gifted a little dog and a big rabbit and they were both the color of taro milk tea. But I couldn’t enjoy them bc I already felt guilty about not being able to give them proper care and might not be able to bring them home. Then I visited my childhood friend in france and she had these horrible roommates who had put a huge hot tub in the middle of the living room with one enormous goldfish in it that they were trying to feed various objects to. And my friend gave me banana flavored phenobarbital in little perfume sample vials and when I woke up i found out my SAM registration had expired even though i renewed it last night. But i was a lil high when i did that so I’m worried. But I can’t talk to anyone at the federal service desk because its the fourth of freaking july

[jellybonbons]

Sweet Tooth or Sweet Cravings?

Kenji Sato x fem!reader

Summary: When a chocolate company sent Ken a PR package, he ate the chocolates without thoroughly inspecting them, and, well...things took an unexpected turn.

CW: 18+ (mdni), established relationship, aphrodisiac chocolates, implied panty sniffing, masturbation, fingering, squirting, creampie, unprotected sex, pet names.

Words: 1.5k

AN: this is just an excuse for me to write him like he's in heat :3

Today 4:12 PM

Ken <3: can you come home? its an emergency

The moment you saw his text, your heart skipped a beat. Without a second thought, you clocked out early and made a beeline for the parking lot. You had never driven so fast in your life, and you were sure you almost broke the gas pedal from how hard your heels were pressing on it. 

The city streets blurred past you, your mind racing with worry and a thousand scenarios of what could have gone wrong. You barely noticed the honking horns or the changing traffic lights, and your focus was solely on getting to Ken as quickly as possible.

As you reached Ken's home, you punched in the code with shaking fingers, and the door swung open almost instantly. You dropped your bag near the entrance, not caring where it landed, and stumbled inside, quickly sliding off your heels as you hurried to find him.

Rounding the corner into the living room, you saw Ken from behind, his broad shoulders rising and falling with each laboured breath. "Ken, are you ok–" The sight caught you off guard. There he was, panting heavily, glistening with sweat, eyes half-closed as he stroked his cock. It stood proudly and flushed in a deep red colour. His other hand clutched your panty from this morning.

“Sweetheart, I’m sorry you have to–fuck,” the moment he saw you, his body tensed, and with a guttural moan, he finally came, his cum coating his hand and abdomen.

As he sprawled against the couch, you took a moment to look around the living room. Your eyes landed on a box of half-eaten chocolates on the coffee table. Curiosity piqued, you picked up the box and examined it closely. The label read "Aphrodisiac Chocolates" in a small, elegant script. Realisation dawned on you, and you couldn't help but let out a small, incredulous laugh. Ken had unknowingly consumed aphrodisiacs, and now the situation made a lot more sense.

You sat down next to him on the couch, eyes wide with concern. "Ken, what the hell? Are you okay?"

"I—I’m really sorry. I didn’t expect this... I think I overdid it with those chocolates."

"Those weren’t just chocolates, were they?"

"No, they were aphrodisiac chocolates. I didn’t check the label...clearly, I should have," he growled, frustration evident in his voice as he discarded your panty from his hand.

"Yeah, I can see that. It’s obvious they did more than just satisfy a sweet tooth," you smirked, leaning closer, your breath teasing against his ear.

"You’re not helping, you know." His eyes narrowed at you, a mix of frustration and desire burning within them.

Before you could respond, Ken, overwhelmed by the effects and your teasing, pulled you down onto him. He ground his hard-on between your thighs, his breath coming out in ragged bursts as he tried to find some relief.

"Ken, what—" You gasped, your voice filled with surprise.

"I need you. Right now. Please, help me." His voice was husky and urgent, his need unmistakable.

–

You lost track of time, the sky outside turning dark as the house became dimly lit. Your clothes were strewn everywhere, and he had taken you on every possible surface – from the coffee table to the expansive living room window overlooking the ocean, and now on his bed. 

He didn't hesitate for a moment, his desire insatiable. Somehow, he even managed to feed you the aphrodisiac chocolates during heated kisses, deepening the intensity of your connection with each touch and taste that seemed impossible to quench.

"Baby," you moaned, your voice trembling with need. He had your hands pinned against the headboard, his grip firm and unyielding. His chest pressed against your back, warm and solid, as his fingers delved into your wet cunt, moving with a relentless rhythm that left you breathless.

The squelching sound filled the room, adding to the erotic symphony that drove him even harder. Your back arched with every expert stroke, each thrust of his fingers hitting the perfect spot over and over, sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body.

“Ken, wait!” you gasped, feeling a strange pressure building within you. “I feel like I’m gonna pee.”

He didn’t falter for a second, his fingers maintaining their relentless rhythm. “Just let go, princess,” he murmured, his voice a mix of encouragement and command. “The sheets are already dirty anyway.”

His words and the relentless thrusting of his fingers broke down your resistance. With a cry of both pleasure and relief, you let go, your body trembling as you squirted, the sensation overwhelming. Ken’s eyes gleamed with satisfaction as he continued to work you through it, his fingers drenched in your release.

“Atta girl,” he murmured, his voice low and approving. “Just like that.”

As Ken finally released your hands, you let them slide down, resting them beside you—the dampness of the wet sheets clinging uncomfortably to your skin, causing you to grimace. You took a few deep breaths, trying to calm the rapid pace of your breathing, and allowed yourself a moment to regain composure.

Ken, still insatiable and eager, looked at you with a determined glint in his eyes. “It’s my turn now,” he said, his voice rough with need. You, sore and spent, protested weakly, “Baby, I’m so beat... I don’t know if I can handle much more.”

He silenced your concerns with a reassuring smile and a quick, decisive movement. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of everything,” he said, his tone filled with confidence. With a firm grip, he lifted you effortlessly and positioned you on his lap, your legs spread and held against your chest. He manoeuvred you into a perfect angle and guided his hard cock to your still-sensitive cunt.

“Fuck, Ken, too deep!” you cried out, your voice trembling as you struggled to adjust to the overwhelming sensation. Saliva dribbled from your lips, a testament to the intense pleasure and exhaustion.

Ken's voice was a low, teasing murmur against your ear. “But you love it when I go deep like this,” he cooed, his tone dripping with mockery. He squeezed you closer, his grip firm and possessive, restricting your movements and trapping you in place. 

The way he moved, controlling every motion and maximising your pleasure, made you feel like nothing more than his personal plaything, his fleshlight. Each powerful thrust sent your breasts bouncing. Your head leaned back against him, the sensation overwhelming as his movements were both demanding and dominant, ensuring you felt every inch of him, leaving you breathless and helpless under his command.

Finally, with a guttural groan that reverberated through the room, Ken’s body tensed, and a shudder ran through him as he reached his peak. His hot cum spilling deeply inside you, a wave of warmth that filled you completely.

He collapsed against you, his breath coming in deep, shuddering gasps as he buried his face in your hair, staying fully inside you. As he caught his breath, he managed to joke through his ragged breaths, “I think I’ll have to give that chocolate company a review —'5 stars for effectiveness!'”

You weakly slapped his arms, a small, affectionate smile tugging at your lips despite the fatigue. “You’re impossible,” you murmured, barely able to muster the energy to respond.

He then gently shifted his position, moving his hand to cup your chin and guide your face towards his. His eyes, soft and tender, met yours as he leaned in to press a gentle, affectionate kiss to your lips. 

Pulling back slightly, he whispered with a teasing smile, “But you love me.” 

“Unfortunately.” You responded with a playful sigh.

–

You were scrolling through your phone during lunch, your thoughts drifting as you ate, when a familiar company caught your eye. You paused, intrigued by a screenshot of a review with the username Notkensato07. The review was under a popular chocolate company, and as you read the lines, you couldn’t help but groan.

Notkensato07: ★★★★★

"Absolutely incredible! I tried the aphrodisiac chocolates and they were so effective, my girlfriend’s still recovering. If you want a taste of heaven—and maybe a little bit of chaos—this is your go-to. 5 stars, but if I could give it more, I would!

⤷ 241 replies

g0urmetguru: More than 5, huh? That’s some serious praise. I’m curious, how long did the effects last? Asking for a friend 😉

sillysocks76: IS THIS KEN SATO?

ChefRemyDaRat: Wow, talk about a rave review! If it’s that good, I’m buying a box for sure 🔥

chocolateroses: LMAOOO! I hope your girlfriend’s recovery is going well, man!

SweetToothSteve: Wow, this sounds wild! I’ve heard aphrodisiac chocolates are hit-or-miss, but this sounds like a game-changer. Guess I’ll be adding these to my shopping list!

jellybonbons: Nah, that’s cap.

  ⤷ chikinuggie: You’re just salty because you got no hoes.

   ⤷jellybonbons:  (comment removed for harassment) 

     ⤷jellybonbons: Wtf? why is my comment removed n not chikin for bullying?!

      ⤷ chikinuggie: The truth hurts, doesn’t it?

        ⤷ SweetToothSteve: Alright, kids, play nice! 😂

–

Shocked by the boldness of his review, you yelled out his name in disbelief, “SATO!”

Ken, who had been skipping around the living room as part of his exercise routine, froze mid-skip. The sudden outburst made him lose his rhythm, causing him to trip over his own feet. 

“Oh shit!”

Dividers by: @/chilumitos

[pellucid-constellations]

Compliments to the Line Cook

Pairing: Line Cook!Azriel x Reader

Summary: Azriel never goes for any of the girls on staff. Cassian can't figure out why—and it's pissing him off.

Word count: 1k

Warnings: None! Maybe some language but I tend to do that with modern AUs oops

a/n: Me 🤝 eventually turning to AUs for every fandom. Anyways I think I'm setting this up for a cute little series thing with oneshots because I am inspired ✨ enjoy!!

Main Masterlist ♡

~~

“Come on,” Cassian scoffed with an exasperated tilt of his head. “She is totally into you.” 

Azriel threw his friend a look, wiping his hands on the apron tied at his waist. “I don’t care.” 

“You don’t care? When’s the last time you got laid, man?” 

“Last night,” Azriel simply replied. He moved the prepped onions from the counter to the fridge. “Not that it’s any of your business.” 

“What? You didn’t tell me that,” Cassian pouted, pausing his spatula on the grill. 

Azriel huffed out a breathy laugh, taking up his post at the prep table once more. “Do I need to tell you every detail of my sex life, Cass? Would that help you get it up? I know you struggle.”

“Hey,” Cassian called out, brows raised as Azriel met his gaze. “Fuck you. Who was it, then?” 

“Well, it certainly wasn’t the barely legal host you won’t stop trying to set me up with,” Azriel grumbled.

“Dude, she’s literally 26.” 

“She doesn't look 26.” 

The order bell ringing punctuated the end of the pointless conversation between the two men. In truth, Cassian knew Azriel would never be interested in the new host who had been giving him eyes for the past week. Azriel was never interested in the hosts or the waitresses or even any of the customers. But he would never share why. 

Cassian had grown sick of it. 

He narrowed his eyes as he watched Azriel grab the ticket off the order wheel. He flicked the paper with a small hum, heading to the stove and lighting the burner. 

“Fess up,” Cassian urged, plating the burger for table 12 before tossing the towel on his shoulder into the sink. “You act all mysterious but I’m not an idiot. All the girls on staff basically throw themselves at you and you ignore them. They go on and on about your tattoos even though I have just as many. Gwyn even had her hand on your chest last week and you brushed her off with that awkward pat thing you do.” 

“The mean waitress doesn’t throw herself at me,” Azriel replied. He had yet to look up from the pan sizzling at his fingertips. 

“Oh shut up. Nesta doesn’t count.” 

“Well, you said all so…” 

“I swear to god, Az, I’m going to hit you right in that pretty face of yours—what the hell are you making?” Cassian interrupted himself, whipping around from the send-out counter to inspect the odd combination of ingredients being thrown in the pan. 

“An order,” Azriel stated. “I feel like you should be working.” 

“I am working, asshole,” Cassian grumbled.

Azriel made a noncommittal sound and slid an omelette from the pan onto a plate. He grabbed a handful of spices from the cabinet above and continued to work on the meal. Cassian’s confusion only heightened. 

“We don’t make omelettes past noon. It’s dinner. Why the hell did you make an omelette?” Cassian asked, trailing after his friend as he pushed past the swinging kitchen door. “And where the hell are you going?” 

“Will your curiosity ever be satisfied?” Azriel droned. “I’m clearly walking this plate out to table eight. Go back into the kitchen. The Walters were just seated and you know they order enough to feed an army.” 

Cassian ignored him, staying uncharacteristically silent as he set the intention to spy on his coworker. He let his feet stick at the entrance to the dining room, giving him a clear view of table eight and the girl with the backpack and laptop taking up its residence. 

Azriel placed a steady hand on the back of the booth, his chest pressed against the girl’s shoulder as he brought the plate around and edged her laptop aside. The omelette was placed down in front of her, but Cassian was quick to notice that she didn’t even glance at it, her face turned up with a grin. 

“Hi, baby,” Azriel greeted, a smile evident in his voice—a smile Cassian could hear from clear across the room. “Take a break. I made you dinner.” 

“From the secret menu?” she asked with a giggle.

Cassian watched, in complete shock, as Azriel leaned down to press a long, drawn-out kiss to her temple. “Always.” 

Cassian had a lot to say to that mysterious bastard.

[landososcar]

tacky tree ; MV1

pairing(s) ; dad!max verstappen x leclerc!reader

summary ; in which it’s the most wonderful time of the year and the house is almost completely decorated – except for the most important part.

warnings ; probably incorrect translations, tacky christmas tree because they’re more fun! no use of y/n. not edited.

note ; it’s christmas season 🎉this is the first fic in my 12 days of christmas series! the masterlist with more details on the upcoming stuff will be out later (when i plan it all out lollll) enjoyyyy

“papa, when do we get to decorate the tree?” his son’s voice grabbed max’s attention and he immediately set down the fairy lights he was desperately trying to untangle.

max was trying his hardest to unravel the ball of string lights but it proved to be a harder task than what he had initially thought. his son stood in front of where he was sitting on the couch, impatiently waiting for the ‘go ahead’ to start putting his favourite ornaments on the tree, and max had to explain that “we can’t decorate the tree until we put the lights on, jules”.

a groan left the six-year-old boy’s mouth, he had been looking forward to decorating the tree the most of all. “grand-mère would have had the lights ready ages ago!” jules loved complaining – max often said he got his love for it from his uncle charles, and there was no real argument to the statement.

max chuckled softly at jules’ exclamation. “grand-mère also doesn’t have to deal with your sister trying to eat the lights,” he replied, glancing toward the corner of the living room where his four-year-old daughter was crouched. she held a tangled string of lights in her tiny hands, inspecting them with great curiosity.

“not eating, papa! i’m testing!” sophia chirped, her cheeks flushed pink with the excitement of the holiday season.

jules groaned again, this time dramatically collapsing onto the couch beside his father. “but we’ll never finish in time for santa to see it!”

“santa doesn’t come to check the tree, jules. he comes for the cookies and milk,” max reminded him with a smirk, “and to give boys and girls their presents.” max raised his eyebrows towards his son before continuing, “but only good boys who are patient,” he paused before getting up to save sophia from being engulfed by fairy lights, picking her up and putting her on his hip, “and good girls who don’t eat the lights for the christmas tree.”

before jules could fire back a sassy remark that would have reminded his father far too much of the boy’s uncle, a soft voice interrupted them from the kitchen. “have the two verstappen boys fixed the lights, or should i send in reinforcements?”

max turned to see you leaning against the doorframe, a tray of freshly baked cookies balanced in your hands. your warm smile was framed by loose strands of hair that escaped your festive headband. before you could continue to tease your boys, the six-year-old yelped, “mama! tell papa to hurry!” jules pleaded, scrambling to your side.

you laughed and ruffled his hair, setting the tray down on the coffee table. “let’s see if mama can work her magic.”

handing jules a cookie to keep him occupied, you sat where max was previously attempting to fix the mess of lights, and reached for the tangled lights. your fingers moved easily through the wires as you worked to untangle the mess, the cozy christmas scent of pine and cinnamon filling the air.

“mama is so clever, isn’t she?” max murmured to the girl on his hip, watching your nimble hands make quick work of the lights. sophia nodded quickly before leaning towards the plate of cookies as best as she could. 

max noticed her attempt at thieving a cookie and endorsed it by leaning down, her body still flushed with hers as she reached with both her hands, snatching a cookie. before the girl could begin eating her cookie, max caused her to gasp as he took a small bite from the cookie in her tiny hands.

“mama’s like grand-mère!” jules shouted back, his eyes wide with admiration, “they can both do anything ‘cause they’re the best!” jules declared, his face lighting up with pride.

“careful, jules, if you keep saying things like that, you might just end up on the extra good list this year,” you teased, winking at him as he beamed.

within minutes, the lights were untangled, and you handed them back to max with a triumphant grin, scooping sophia into your arms in exchange. “voilà. now, get to it, boys,” you said, tickling sophia’s tummy to make her giggle before continuing, “while they do the lights, soph, let’s go find your favourite ornaments!”

sophia clapped her hands excitedly. “the sparkly star! and the reindeer!” she squealed, pointing toward the box of decorations.

before the two of you could walk off, max wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you close, “i’ll admit, we’d be lost without you.” he left a kiss on your lips and both children protested.

“eww!” jules groaned, covering his eyes with both of his hands, while sophia, in dramatic fashion, pushed max’s face away with her tiny palms. “no kissies!”

laughing, you pried sophia’s hands off max’s face and carried her toward the decorations. “alright, no more kissies—let’s get this tree looking like a christmas masterpiece.”

while max and jules worked on stringing the lights around the tree (with jules shouting instructions that max tried valiantly to follow), you and sophia rummaged through the box of ornaments. “look, mama! it’s papa’s car!” sophia said, holding up an f1 car ornament painted in red bull’s signature colours.

you chuckled, taking the ornament from her little hands. “that’s right! should we put it somewhere special so everyone sees it?”

sophia nodded enthusiastically, and you carried her over to the tree. “papa drives that car!” she announced proudly before making ‘vroom vroom’ noises, earning both a loud chuckle and an approving grin from her father.

“do you think santa will like it?” jules asked as he passed max another strand of lights.

“i think santa will love it,” max replied. “it’s not every day you see a christmas tree with an f1 car on it.”

once the lights were up – though slightly uneven, thanks to jules’ ‘supervising’ – it was time for the ornaments. sophia insisted on placing all the sparkliest ones together in one spot, while jules picked the funniest ones, like a snowman with sunglasses and a gingerbread man with only one arm.

“you know,” max began as he hung a cat ornament that similarly resembled one of their three fur children, “some people call this a tacky tree, but i call it... creative.” jules passed the other two cat ornaments to max, insisting that they need to be next to each other so they don’t get sad.

“it’s festive!” you chimed in, balancing sophia on your hip as she placed a glittery unicorn near the top of the tree. you watched as your son stepped back like an artist proudly admiring their masterpiece.

after the tree was completely covered in colourful decorations, max hoisted jules onto his shoulders so he could place the star at the top. “steady, buddy... okay, now!” the moment the star clicked into place, sophia clapped wildly, and jules raised his arms in triumph.

“we did it!” jules cheered, and max carefully set him down before pulling you and the kids into a warm group hug in front of the brightly glowing tree.

“best christmas tree ever,” max echoed, his voice soft as he kissed the top of jules’ head, then sophia’s, before looking at you with a laugh, “no kissies for you, sorry”. you couldn’t help but laugh and agree with your husband’s statement, feeling the warmth of your little family wrapped up in the magic of the season.

“best christmas ever.”