#6. Foster Parent Eligibility and Home Study

[fosteringinsc]

Becoming a Foster Parent in South Carolina: What Questions to Expect in Your Home Study

Becoming a Foster Parent in South Carolina: What Questions to Expect in Your Home Study. Are you considering becoming a foster parent in the beautiful state of South Carolina? Embarking on this noble journey requires thorough preparation, including a home study assessment. This crucial step aims to ensure the safety and well-being of the children entering the foster care system. To help you…

[thefandomlesbian]

Ship Questions!

Hotch/Reid

Domestic 🥰

(Also, I’m a huge fan of all your writings! Thanks for sharing 💜)

Thank you! ❤️

Sorry, this got pretty long!

1.) If they get married, who proposes?

Aaron does. Spencer is very comfortable not being married ever, and it's Aaron's drive to ensure Jack is in good hands in the event of his death that pushes him toward marriage. Spencer doesn't exactly want a wedding, but he knows Aaron is traditional and it's important to him, so he goes along with it.

2.) What's the wedding like? Who attends?

This could go one of two ways. 1.) They elope to Las Vegas so Diana can attend and invite literally no one else.

Or, more likely, 2.) They throw a BAU wedding in DC. JJ is the maid of honor and Derek is the best man. Rossi walks Spencer down the aisle and Gideon officiates. Rossi cries. Jack is the ring bearer and Henry is the flower girl.

A mostly unfamiliar face shows up, strolling up during the reception after the ceremony while Spencer is talking to Rossi and Derek. Spencer recognizes him first. "I don't want you here."

William is holding a brochure, pointing to where Rossi's name is listed as the father of the groom. "I would've come if you had called."

"I didn't want you to."

"You could've called," he insists. "You didn't have to write me off like this."

Derek goes to intercede, but Rossi catches him by the arm. "Hey, Reid," he says, looking quite mild. "There's one fatherly lesson I haven't taught you yet."

"What's that?" Spencer is confused at this assertion.

"How to throw a right hook."

William is on the floor, Aaron is covering Jack's eyes, Emily is cheering, JJ is trying to drag Spencer away, Gideon is getting Rossi some ice for his hands, and Strauss is pressing the bridge of her nose trying to decide if they can somehow make this a lawsuit for the bureau or if this is going to create more paperwork for her somehow.

Aaron invites a handful of old lawyer friends and Sean, who does reluctantly show up. Spencer invites his professors and teachers and Ethan. Several of them greet him with, "Oh, I haven't seen you in so long! You've gotten so tall!" which yields the question who was that person, and the answer is always, "A professor from my first doctorate."

3.) How many kids do they have?

In most timelines, only Jack. Spencer doesn't have any desire to spread his genes with his sketchy health history, and while Aaron wanted a bigger family with Haley, he knows it wouldn't be fair to do this to another child, the inconsistent hours, the lack of presence, and besides, Jessica wouldn't agree to free childcare for another kid. Spencer is okay with not being a father in the traditional way, and he's still someone who is very important to Jack, not to mention Henry and Hank and (insert baby name because I reject JJ naming her second child Michael).

But there is another timeline where they've discussed it. Spencer wants to be a father, and he tells Aaron that, and they aren't really sure how to proceed—with their line of work and histories, they aren't eligible for adoption. They look into surrogacy, but Spencer again doesn't really care to pass on his genetic material, and Aaron is having a very hard time shaking off his Catholic upbringing that makes him feel super duper icky and weird about something of his growing inside a woman he doesn't actually know that well and then that child being his and not part of her. They're at an impasse when, on a case, there's a break when a woman is found disemboweled in the dumpster while her newborn infant is wrapped in a plastic bag. There is no family after identification. Social services comes to take the baby, and they both feel like maybe this is some sign from the universe and they're missing out. Later that night when neither of them can sleep, Aaron rolls out of bed and calls the social services contact, and the baby is still floating around the office, not having yet found a foster family. So they take her.

It's several years of paperwork as they transition from foster parents to adopted guardians of Haley Diana Hotchner-Reid. Spencer steps down from the BAU to become a research professor full-time, and he finds cures for antibiotic-resistant bacterial illnesses. He invents a vaccine for tuberculosis. He has a routine schedule, so he's available for the kids all the time, and Aaron doesn't have to leave his job to have the family he wants.

4.) Do they have any pets?

Usually, no. Aaron is afraid of dogs. Animals don't like Spencer. Aaron grew up in rural Virginia, so he likes the idea of having horses like he did when he was young, but they don't have anywhere to put a horse or farm animals, and while Spencer fantasizes about having a farm, he thinks horses and cattle up close are terrifying. But occasionally they wind up with a cat, or even two cats if they're adventurous, and Spencer does a lot of research to start appropriate fish husbandry with a giant, well-kept aquarium where he teaches Jack all about how to properly care for fish (ie, goldfish and betas don't go in bowls, no fish go in bowls).

5.) Who's the stricter parent?

Neither of them are all that stern. Aaron doesn't know how to appropriately discipline a child. He knows what not to do, but he isn't sure about alternatives, and whenever Jack acts out of turn, he feels like it's his fault for letting Jack down and letting him experience so much trauma that twisted his ability to process his emotions in a healthy way. Aaron doesn't know how to provide structure and support in a positive way, and he tries, but it's hard.

Spencer also didn't exactly have any good parental role models. He does have the ability to learn everything there is to know about a child's interests through reading, and he does that to make connections. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't and Jack has still graffitied the side of the school building and Aaron is having to pay out damages and is trying very hard not to raise his voice and Spencer is like, "Is this what Ash Ketchum would do?" and Jack responds, "I'm thirteen, I haven't watched Pokemon in five years, grow up." Then they enlist a family counselor.

6.) Who kills the bugs?

Neither have bug fear. Spencer will squish roaches and pest bugs as he finds them. However, he thinks unique bugs are quite interesting, and he doesn't kill ants or spiders or crickets. Instead, he studies them. Spiders he always captures and takes outside. Once, Spencer has a piece of paper and a cup and is working very hard on entrapping a beautiful black widow, and Aaron sees it without realizing what he's doing and mushes it. "Why would you do that? Why would you kill an arachnid? She was protecting our home." After that, Aaron lets Spencer handle all the bugs and doesn't interfere since he never knows which ones deserve to live and which ones don't.

7.) How do they celebrate the holidays?

If someone is hosting a Christmas party, they'll attend, but otherwise, they'll stay inside and decorate the tree as a family. Sean is invited to Christmas dinner; he rarely comes. Jessica and her family go to her parents', and Aaron doesn't want to make Spencer uncomfortable by taking him there, so they avoid such gatherings. They make it special with just the three of them, unless another member or two of the BAU wants to squeeze in. Aaron likes to go to midnight mass, and he usually manages to convince Spencer to sit through it one night of the year.

On Halloween, they all go trick-or-treating together.

Easter is the other day of the year Aaron insists they go to church because, "I am nothing if not a Chreaster Catholic." Aaron takes Jack alone while Spencer stays home and sets up a wild egg hunt somewhere in the city, and when church ends, Aaron brings Jack to look for the eggs. Sometimes the rest of the BAU's kids join in.

For Memorial Day and Fourth of July, Aaron grills. Spencer tries once and they spend Memorial Day in the ER and Aaron has to buy a new grill. Likewise, they agree Spencer should not come within three feet of any firework materials, including benign sparklers and the like.

8.) Who's more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning?

Aaron likes to get up early to brew Spencer's coffee the way he likes it, warm the house up, and start breakfast. Spencer never asks him to come back because he enjoys having the house warm and breakfast ready when he rolls out of bed. But if Aaron isn't feeling well and Spencer gets out of bed to do those things, it only takes a couple petulant grumbles on Aaron's part to convince Spencer to slide back under the covers.

9.) Who's the better cook?

Aaron is a much better cook. Spencer, to his credit, tries sometimes. But Aaron has a better understanding of how palates work and also how not to set things on fire. Spencer knows cooking is technically just a science, but it's a science that baffles him, he'll admit, like paranormal science or theology.

[daughterofthehighlands]

This is my first time writing in the PD world, but this story came out of nowhere and demanded to be written (it happens when you fall asleep reading fanfiction guess). It is also un-betaed. This story is also outside of what I normally write, and is a difficult subject.

Trigger warning child trafficking, nothing graphic.

I own nothing.

JHJH

Kim Burgess climbed into the passenger seat of Detective Jay Halstead's truck, as Hailey Upton started the vehicle.

Looking over at the blond, Kim noticed the bloodshot, rimmed eyed and sighed, knowing that this was going to be harder than it already was.

The team had been called in to investigate possible child abuse at a local school.

It turned out that the abuse was actually trafficking of kids in foster care.

They would be assigned to certain families, stay for a few weeks, then disappear from the distict, school officials being told the children were found permanent homes or were placed with family.

They sent Jay in, undercover, as a gym teacher for the 3rd graders, and where there were 6 kids who were in four different homes.

Jay had become a trusted figure to the children when one girl came to him with a story of a 'brother' that had been taken by a stranger at night and not seen again. The little girl then went missing from school, and her foster sister said that that same stranger had taken her.

Adam Ruzek finally found the missing piece; a Jennifer Winslow worked for the adoption services and had links to black market trading of children. She found families that would take the children and then sent one of the thugs to pick up the child. The parents none the wiser of what was going on, since they were sent by Ms. Winslow and had the badge of the adoption agency.

Jay had called Voight, and had told him his suspicions, adding that he was at the home where 9 kids had gone missing from.

When they had arrived, they found Jay's car door open and blood on the seat.

Now, they were in the process of locating the missing children and hoping that Halstead would be found with them.

Fifteen hours had passed, when they finally got a viable lead, and now they were bringing the children home.

JHJH

Jay woke up to a splitting headache, his shoulder killing him and his hands tied behind his back. He heard the sobs of children and slowly took in his surroundings.

They were in a large horse trailer, if the hay and smell was anything to go by, and they were moving.

JHJH

Hailey was so focused on trying to reach her partner, she was barely paying attention to the tractor in front of them.

"Hailey! Look out!" Kim yelled, reaching for the handle above the door and bracing herself against the dash.

Hailey slammed on the breaks, the bumper of Jay's truck millimeters from the back tire of the truck in front of them. Traffic at a standstill, due to the roadblock that had been set up to check all tractor/ trailers, RVs and other vehicles that could be transporting the children.

Kim looked over at the blond, "That was close. Do you want me to drive?"

Wordlessly, Hailey nodded, both getting out, and switching spaces.

JHJH

Detective Hank Voight looked at the map in front of him that set on the hood of a patrol car and studied it. He looked up as Al stepped next to him, "You got anything?"

Al nodded, "Winslow said that she uses her brother's ranch as a way to smuggle the kids out. She said that they borrow a truck and horse trailer to move them to another location." He pointed at the map, "She also said that they are using this road today and that her brother is innocent."

"Get people over to the ranch, see what truck is missing and if they have the tag number. Same for the trailer. We bring those kids home. TODAY!"

Al nodded once and disappeared into the crowd of officers.

So, I'm not very good at knowing the inside of horse trailers, but this is kind of what I envisioned for it to look like, especially for what I needed to take place.

Fanfiction at it's (not so) finest

And Part 2

Jay fought to stay awake, but it was hard. His shoulder hadn't quit bleeding and his head was pounding. But he had to get these kids somewhere safe, he just didnt know how. Then he saw Kelsey Jennings and hoped she could help.

"Kelsey? Can you help me out? You k ow how you untied those knots at school for that project?"

The eight year old nodded, "Do you think you can untie my hands?"

Again, the little redhead nodded and went to work.

JHJH

Voight sighed as he looked at the passing signs. If there was one thing he knew, it was that they had to stop the truck before it reached the interstate, or those children would be lost, possibly forever.

And they were running out of time. Hailey and Kim were stuck in a road block, unable to move.

Atwater and Ruzek were coming from the opposite direction.

And he and Al were speeding down a back road towards the turn off they were informed would be used.

JHJH

Jay sighed when he hands were freed, and nodded to Kelsey, "Thank you, Kelsey. Steven, come here, please."

Steven was the oldest boy and Kelsy the oldest girl. He was going to need them both, if his plan was to work. Luckily, there was no loose equipment in the trailer, and the windows were cracked to allow them fresh air.

The children were soon all tied as safely to the walls as they could be. If the trailer tipped, they would not be thrown all over the trailer, but would be bounced around in place. Sore and bruised, but hopefully no broken bones, and not possibly thrown out of a window if one busted.

With one more look back at the children, and a smile that showed more confidence than he felt, Detective Jay Halstead went to work on freeing the children.

JHJH

Kim and Hailey finally made their way around the block and started down the side road they were told about. They had been driving for a while when they came upon a horse trailer parked across the road at an angle.

Throwing the truck in park, the jumped out and pulled their side arms.

Hoping that the children were okay and Jay was taking care of them.

That all went out the window when they opened the doors and the children were the only ones available.

Quickly untying them and ushering them outside, Steven and Kelsey told the two women what had happened.

JHJH

"Voight," the sergeant said, answering his phone, "Thanks, Haliey."

Without being told, Al stepped on the gas, neatly passing another vehicle.

"Jay got the children out, but isn't with them. One of the kids said he climbed out the emergency hatch on top and found a way to release the trailer from the truck. Other than some bruising, the kids are all fine."

Al nodded. Their boy was in trouble and he was going to make sure they were there to help him. And as they came around, yet another curve, they saw a truck turned over and no movement.

JHJH

Jay watched at the trailer disconnected and swerved before coming to a complete stop at an angle. He sighed in relief, knowing that the kids were fine, since it didnt tip.

The truck sped faster after the trailer was removed, and that was when he could just barely pick up the sounds of a police scanner.

His team had been made and these guys were going to try and escape the consequences of kidnapping.

He wasn't going to allow it.

And, apparently, the kidnappers weren't going to go down easy. The driver started to swerve and the old road, being uneven, cause them to over correct and the truck to flip.

Jay jumped and rolled as he hit the ground, when he realized what was happening, but still felt the discomfort of drawing in breath, and the cracked ribs that caused it.

Seeing the two men get out of the truck, Jay started towards them. One fell to the ground, halfway out of the vehicle, and didn't move again.

The other saw the detective and attacked.

The fight was over in a matter of minutes, both me on the ground, one with his neck broke, the other with multiple stab wounds and a knife in their chest.

JHJH

Al and Voight ran to the scene and briefly paused.

A man lay halfway out of the over turned truck, clearly dead, unseeing eyes looking up at the cold December sky.

A second perp was laying on the ground, neck at a weird angle, staring at Jay Halstead, who was clearly trying to stay awake.

Voight knelt by Jay and turned his face to look at him, "Hey, kid. You with me?"

Jay tried to focus on the hands that touched him, at first trying to fight them, until his wrists were caught in warm, calloused hands. Hands that were comforting, and the voice was familiar, safe.

Al held Jay's wrists, gently, but firmly, seeing the abrasions on them, but trying to keep him from giving Voight another black eye.

Hank still spoke calmly to the kid, never moving his hand from Jay's face, while Al tried to access the injuries that covered the detective. Both feeling the heat rolling off of Halstead, and worried about what injuries were hidden by the jacket he wore.

"Hank," Olinsky spoke quietly, "he's been shot in the shoulder, has a knife wound in the side, wrists are a mess and then the knife in his chest."

Jay finally got a clear look of the person over him, "Voight, don... wanna die ...lone," it was whispered, paper thin and barely eligible, but the best thing either officer had heard.

Until the younger man started to pass out, "Jay? Halstead! Stay with me, kid! That's an order! Jay!"

JHJH

Dr. Will Halstead stood in the breakroom of Chicago Med and scrubbed his hand down his face, clearing the tears.

Sgt. Hank Voight walked in as Will's fist went through the wall, "I don't think Ms. Goodwin is going to be happy about that."

Will huffed out a laugh, "Probably not. They lost him twice, Hank."

The cop sighed, hands going into his pockets, "I know, kid, I know."

"Connor is doing everything he can. Said it'll take hours to fix the artery the knife was in."

The doctor sat on the couch, leaning forward, head between his hands, "I was worried when he went overseas. Afraid he wouldn't come home. Then he became a cop. And a good one. He's all I have left, and I don't know,-"

Voight sat by him and put his hand on his shoulder, "And you won't ever have to find out, Will. He's the strongest person I know, and we are going to be there for him."

After a moment's thought, he continued, "Plus, he has to take my place as lead over Intelligence, when that time comes. I think I he will take it far beyond what I could ever could. And he will do well. But don't you tell him I said that. I'll deny it."

Will choked out a laugh, and looked at the hole he had put in the wall, "You think she'll notice?"

Sharon Goodwin walked in, "Will, Jay is out of surgery. They'll be moving him to SICU once he is out of recovery. I thought you might want to go up to the waiting room so you'll be there when he gets moved."

Will stood, as did Voight, "Thank you. We'll go there now."

As she went to leave, she spoke again, not bothering to turn, "And Will? Make sure you patch that wall. And don't put a picture in front of it, either. Egg shell paint is what we used in here."

Voight slightly smiled, "Yep. She'll notice."

JHJH

The return to consciousness isn't what isn't seems like in the movies. You don't wake up immediately and go on about your daily life. You don't hold conversations for several minutes either.

No, it's so much slower.

You hear things around you, but it doesn't automatically click what it is. You may try to wake up, but you pretty much are out of it for quite a while.

The same went for Jay, the first several times he tried to wake up. But one thing that he could count on, was knowing his big brother was there. He could feel him, may not physically, but he knew.

And when he finally did wake up, several hours later, it was dark outside, and snow was falling, the lights outside making it glitter and shine.

Will was beside him, asleep, his hand on Jay's arm, comforting and familiar.

He must have made a sound of some sort, because the next thing his groggy mind knew, a hand was on his face and his name was being called.

His eyes rolled about, trying to focus, and finally finding his boss at his side.

"You're going to be okay, kid. We're here for you."

And with that, Detective Jay Halstead of Chicago PD's Intelligence Unit fell into a deep, peaceful and healing sleep, knowing that he was safe and he wasn't alone.

JHJH

I figured this was the best place to end it. After having a brief dream of him being in a horse trailer with young kids, (kids not much younger than my oldest) this story was born.

There are some very nice horse trailers out there, some with an air conditioned kitchenette and/ or sleeping area.

Yes, I had to come up with a way for the kids to be rescued, and I know it probably isn't possible to release such a heavy trailer while it is moving, but hey, fanfiction right?

And thank you to everyone who has written their favorite comfort bits and pieces on Tumblr. That helped me so much when I was trying to end this story, but wanting to show the comfort as well.

This story has been posted on fanfiction. net and Tumblr. Tha k you to everyone who has commented and followed. It means so much to me.

I own nothing

[dcnativegal]

Another autumn behind the sagebrush curtain

Something I’m getting used to in Christmas Valley is body odor. I don’t want to embarrass my smelly clients but I also need to breathe, so I regularly plug in one of those melted wax aromatic thingamajigs, and it does help. But I was in line at the Chevron, which is also kind of a fast food joint and a grocery store, and the gentleman before me was quite odiferous. Wow, phew, ack. A lot of my clients and perhaps a significant part of the population up in North County is without running water, sewage hookup, and/or electricity. Maybe you’ve heard of that zen saying’. Before Enlightenment: chop wood, haul water. After Enlightenment, chop wood, haul water. Well, all that chopping and hauling is the day to day reality here with no pretensions for spiritual edification.

I did a couple’s counseling session recently and one point of contention was who does the dishes. Sounds familiar to most couples, amiright? In this case, it’s a matter of hauling water and sometimes but not always heating it to do the dishes. Good grief. Same with gardening. You want vegetables? You gotta haul the water.

When money is tight, and a felon and his disabled girlfriend are living on her disability check, and sometimes his phone is out of minutes and sometimes hers is, and they haul water, and sometimes pay for a shower at the RV park ($4. Not sure if shampoo is provided), and the laundromat is 40 miles from your homestead…. Body odor will result. Me and my nose will adapt.

**

Winter is on its way. We’ve already had several frosts. The outdoor potted plants are now indoor. We never did plant the azaleas that Karen gave us to prove that azaleas are possible to grow in the high desert. (I remain skeptical.) One just up and died, and the other one is on a window ledge by the wood stove. I’m back to keeping a warm coat in the car just in case the car breaks down and I have to wait in the cold for help. I have an emergency kit, a spare tire, bottled water and protein bars. I don’t plan to break down any time soon or to hit a deer or god help me an elk, but you never know. I’ve learned from last winter to be prepared. Cell phone reception is an iffy thing, and we all depend on the kindness of strangers in bad weather.  At the beginning of November, I’ll have my studded tires put on and then I’ll be ready for whatever ice and snow gets tossed on us humans in these high altitudes.

I learned recently that for every 1000 feet in altitude, it is 5 degrees color than at sea level. So at 4,000 feet up, it’s 20 degrees cooler. Lakeview, the county seat, is the highest altitude town in Oregon. That doesn’t seem right, since there are the Cascades and all. Maybe the highest county seat.

It’s gonna be in the 80s today in DC. A bit warm for early October but by no means unusual. It was 29 last night in Paisley.

**

I’ve graduated a bunch of people with Substance Use Disorder since I started in February, giving them a certificate, notifying their probation officer, closing out their treatment plan, changing their diagnosis to say, in remission, making a compliance note, and then a service conclusion note. They are so happy not to have to call in every morning to see if their random urinalysis color is on for the day. If their color is called, they have to get to our offices during the day, and if they work a job during the day, it’s a hassle, although most employers are cool with it.  I’ve been flexible with my clients since I started practicing in North Lake, allowing the clients to come in for a spit test (for guys because I’m a gal) or a pee test or UA (for gals because I’m a gal so I can watch them pee. Oh joy.) when they are already in town, saving them gas and another trip to come in between 4 and 5 when we’re supposed to be most available for drug tests. And I’ve been happy to oblige. However, I’ve been informed from people above my pay grade that I’m not supposed to be that flexible, ‘cause then everyone will want to come in whenever. So new clients are going to have to come in from 4 to 5pm when their color is called. Gas or no gas. If they ‘no show’, they have to start the 90 days over again.

I have an ambivalent relationship to the punitive aspects of drug treatment. Sometimes I think, just have abundant available treatment options, people, and come on, taxpayers, pay up. And other times I see that, in one case or another, threat of jail and even brief time in jail scares them sober. I’m particularly worried about the poverty around here. A gallon of gas is beyond some folks some days. I do encourage my clients to quit smoking because you could buy gas with that cigarette money.

Or food. One of my clients just had kids taken by DHS and now the client is not eligible for food stamps. Apparently, when single years ago, this client could get food stamps for a month near to $200. Not anymore. Do folks realize that it is Democrats who shore up the ‘safety net’ and increase food stamp allowances? Not these folks. If they vote, they vote Republican. Do I point this out in session? No, I do not.

**

I wish I could tell you some stories from my clients’ worlds but I can’t. I will share themes, instead.

One theme for people with ‘substance use disorders’ is about cannabis.  I have at least 4 clients who have stopped using methamphetamine, and good on them. Seriously. But they still smoke pot. Weed. A bowl. Now and then or several times a day. And they object to the fact that their body fluid drug tests (spit or pee) are ‘dirty’ with THC. They stopped using meth! They aren’t drinking whisky or beer. Why can’t they have weed? It’s LEGAL. It’s NATURAL.

If you’re under 18 it is NOT legal.

If you’re on probation for a drug offense, and sometimes if it is not a drug offense but you’re on probation, or you lost your kids to foster care for domestic violence, then YOU CAN’T USE POT. PERIOD.

I tell them, I’m so sorry, but that’s the rules. And my job is to help you get off probation. I did not make the rules. Neither did the probation officers. If they want to lobby Oregon state legislature, get on to Salem, and knock yourself out. Meanwhile, YOU CAN’T USE IT.

So then I hear, but I can’t sleep without it. I get so angry without it. It helps me cope with my PTSD. Which is for real.

It’s MEDICINAL.

Do they have a medical marijuana card? Nope. And even if they did, most judges say, tough, no THC in the drug test. No nothing in the drug test. Not a single beer.

Okay then, let’s look at the options for treating the PTSD. Nightmares, flashbacks, panic attacks, hypervigilance. There are options. Some of them has to do with talk therapy, and that’s where I come in. but there is help from medications. There really is. I’ve seen it work since I got here. We have a psychiatric consultant who is a nurse practitioner. He treats half the rural counties in Oregon, and does it remotely from The Dalles. Thursday is Lake County day. He looks like Arlo Guthrie, and recently failed to kill a single elk with his bow during a 10 day vacation.

Okay, so these clients then say, drugs aren’t natural. Pot is natural.

My retort is that arsenic and uranium are natural, too.

They don’t want to be dependent on a drug. Excuse me, what is cannabis? They don’t want to have to pay for a drug. They grow their own medicine in the form of pot and why is that a problem? I mention again, it’s against the terms of probation.

But, but, I once was on a drug and it made me crazy. Did you try another drug? Nope.

I don’t believe in drugs. So if you had an infection in your leg and it was either take an antibiotic or have it cut off, what would you do? Stuff it with herbs and wait.

See what I’m up against? Those clients who kicked meth but work daily on 6 bowls of pot, chopping wood, hauling water, hustling cigarettes, bartering for hay for the goats and feed for the chickens are going to be on probation forever. I’ve had clients on probation for 7 years. Alrighty then. I’m taking your spit and meeting with you and your probation officer looks at you with the stink eye and Oregon Health Plan pays for me and the spit, and taxpayers pay for the probation officer, and here we are.

For the folks who finally get clean of all of those substances, gosh they are my favorite clients. I miss them when they graduate. They are so glad to be done, to be off probation, to have a simple life with a job and their kids at home, and church on Sunday. I give them their certificate, tell them to stop by to visit if they’re nearby, lend them movies for free, and remind them to be nice to gay people. (Especially at church.) Off they go.

At some point they made a decision to get clean and stay clean. For most but not all it was residential rehabilitation that did they trick. Removed them from their day to day, sat them down with a counselor and with a group of fellow ‘substance use disordered’ folks, and forced them to gaze at their navel. After a month or 3 months, boom, they are clean and sober. They return to 90 days of random testing and weekly visits with me in what is called aftercare. And then, they are DONE.  And their sweet simple life is so sweet and so blissfully simple.

Mostly I sit and listen to their stories. I am grateful to be a witness to their transformation.

**

I wish I could do a study of all the gay people who grew up in Lake County. I’d like to know how they survived high school at one of the three schools (North Lake, Paisley and Lakeview). When did they came out to themselves, to one other person, to their parents, and what happened then? Where did they move after high school? How out are they now? And are they okay. (Did it get better?)

I have pretty darn good gaydar which I keep refining over the years. I’ve been wrong a few times, because effeminate men can be straight, and butch women can be, too. But I knew the first few minutes of the movie Juno that the actress, Ellen Page, was gay, and that was years before she came out. I just knew it by how she marched to the convenience store for yet another pregnancy test. I said, lesbian. Queen Latifah is gay, too. I don’t think she’s ever coming out. Jody Foster. Most definitely, and finally out. Anyway, there are two boys in Paisley that I think are gay. And I don’t know for sure. But I wish I could cast a protective aura around them. Because whatever they evolve into, (gay, bisexual, trans) they could be targeted because they are gentler, more creative, and have emotional intelligence.  We’ll see. I’m not close enough to either of them to offer protection. And one is related to a very conservative family. So I’m just watching. I’m not sure what else to do. I go to the same church as these boys (when I go to church in Paisley). So that’s something. My mere presence as an out gay person must mean something.

Maybe next June I’ll hang a rainbow flag on the house. I fear a stray bullet. Or rather, an intentional bullet coming from a 12 gauge.  I know, from good authority (Valerie’s daughter), that ‘nobody cares.’  But I don’t quite believe that. I still don’t have the nerve to put on my car, in defiance, the brilliant bumper sticker: I don’t mind straight people if they act gay in public.

I miss gay people. There is Valerie. And a few lesbians in Klamath County that I located with the help of google, the Herald and News (out of Klamath Falls) and one lesbian in particular who hooked me up with the others. I am ridiculously glad to see my one gay male friend who works with some of my clients, and now that another of my clients has moved to a third foster home, he is no longer the client’s worker so I see him less often. But he stopped by last week in Christmas Valley and is investigating a former client so maybe I’ll see more of him. Not that I ever wish anyone to be investigated because some kid is neglected. But sometimes kids need to be rescued and parents need a wake up call. He’s an awesome social worker, and all around great husband and father to four kids (who were born to substance use disordered cousins). Gay men make perfect friends for women, gay or straight. They have emotional intelligence. They don’t want to get in your pants. And sometimes, they share your interests, like knitting. Or social work. Valerie’s first husband’s husband knits AND crochets.

**

It’s dusty out here. Sometimes it’s alkali dust from the dried patches of the lakes, when the wind is just right. Sometimes it’s dirt dust. This weekend I’m staying in a tiny town in Deschutes county where Valerie is cow and puppy sitting. The ranch house is full of flies; she says it’s because of how close the leppies (baby calves whose mother rejected them) are to the house. But when I visited her here when she was the main ranchhand, a few summers ago, there were piles of dead flies in the window sills. She was just now talking to her sister on the phone and walking around killing fly after fly. I am amazed at her deadly skill. And then there’s dust. On everything. Thick layers of it. She apparently mopped thoroughly ever single floorboard just yesterday. Today I can write my name in the dust with my be-socked toe. The views from the house are beautiful. The house itself is adorable, with a lovely porch, decorated in Rustic Cowboy. But I am having trouble with the dust. Val says, at least it’s not bus exhaust and city soot. Yea, true. But when I close the windows in the city, the soot stays outside. She says it’s because of the wind here. And the dirt is just real dry. The dirt can go wherever it wants to! I just don’t want to live in it.

I didn’t realize I’m such a prissy butt.

**

I’m near to Bend while visiting Brothers, which is a proper city, with stop lights and everything. I have a ‘must visit’ list now every time I approach a city: If it’s Sunday, I attend church. I check out the ethnic food. (I highly recommend the salmon pho with the cheerful all-male waiters at the Vietnamese.) I check out the local yarn shop and make a bee line for the sale bin. And I see a movie.  If I’m lucky I can do all four.

Tomorrow, we’re going to an episcopal church, and sing hymns with multiple verses that I recognize. Alleluia. Not sure where we’ll eat. I’m voting for Indian. I have enough yarn (for the rest of my existence) so I’ll pass on the store this time. On Monday when I’m heading back south, I’ll go into Bend again and I’ll probably see Blade Runner 2049. I loved the first version, and I’ll love this one, too. I’ll have had my fix, and head south into a food desert, conservative churches, and zero movie theaters. Although the chili and cornbread at the Sage Hen Café is pretty good and I love the chicken and avocado Caesar salad at ‘erry’ restaurant. It used to be Jerry’s, but the J and the s are missing.

**

Dallas is not in Texas. Springfield is not in Massachusetts or Ohio. Lewisburg is not in Pennsylvania.  Florence is not in Italy. Newport is not in Rhode Island. Bridgeport is not in Connecticut. Warrenton is not in Virginia. Oakland is not in California.  I’ve mentioned before that Albany is not in New York, and Ontario is not in Canada, either. They are all in Oregon. The ocean, known as the coast or the beach, is West, not East, of wherever I am. Do not under any circumstances pass a snow plow on the right. That’s just dumb. And never go into a rural area without a full tank of gas. I started out at the edge of a reservation on the way to Portland recently and figured there was a gas station. WRONG. I spent about 30 miles wondering what I would do if I ran out of gas. With no phone signal. And way past the age where all I had to do was show a little leg (a la It Happened One Night.)  I figured maybe I write a big sign that said OUT OF GAS, and pray. But I finally made it to a gas station just in time.

Also in Oregon: Sweet Home, Bonanza, Remote. Halfway, Paradise, Pendleton, Aloha. Eightmile, Thirtymile, Tenmile and Friend. Chiloquin, Keno, and Paisley.

**

One benefit of living in a frontier outpost is that there are virtually no chain businesses, with the exception of a couple of gas stations and the one Safeway in Lakeview. One Dollar Store and a True Value. Everything else is a small business. You can buy almost anything from a store that has only one location. I can buy excellent quality yarn at Willows in Christmas Valley. There are at least 3 thrift shops with big selections. I bought a little bit of furniture for my office at a store in Lakeview. Many stores serve multiple functions, like the Chevron/fast food/grocery store. The True Value sells toys. You can buy clothes and rent movies at Santa’s Hardware in Christmas Valley. Ammo, knickknacks, milk, nails, and deodorant are available at the Paisley Mercantile. If you’re into quilting, there are shops in Lakeview and Paisley. The county could use more pharmacies—there is only one, called Howard’s, in Lakeview. And there is the one hospital, of which I am an employee since they took over the county mental health service. Folks in north lake county go shopping up in another county, Deschutes, where there is Costco and Walmart and BiMart, which has a pharmacy. Is BiMart only for bisexuals? No. Bisexuals are the largest category of not-straight, though you’d never know it by popular culture. I guess I’d have to dust off my official bisexual card. Kidding. No such thing. I’m a lesbian-identified bisexual, based on my history, and a persistent crush on Ryan Gosling. Anyway, we support small businesses out of necessity here in the Oregon Outback because we have no choice. And I gladly pay a little more for gas at the Summer Lake General Store and the Chewaucan garage to thank them for persisting and existing.

**

Since I moved out here, I’ve been especially interested in stories in the news about people who are building bridges, across class and race and political party. Black friends on facebook encourage all their white friends to be a proactive ally against racism in all its forms. I do speak up when there is an opportunity, which is a tricky thing to recognize. Speaking up in a way that communicates, and builds a bridge. I listen to a bunch of podcasts which are focusing on studies of bias (Hidden Brain, Invisibilia, Freakonomics.)  A recent story from Sincerely x was narrated by a black woman who was told repeatedly by her mom and her teachers that she ‘ain’t nothing, and ain’t gonna BE nothing.’  She has proven everyone wrong. I listen to This American Life, Moth Radio Hour, Strangers, Terrible Thanks for Asking, and a couple with funny names like “Conversations with People who Hate Me.”  There’s a podcast called Home of the Brave, and the narrator interviews Trump supporters hoping to understand them better, and another called Strangers, same thing. Us & Them is a podcast out of West Virginia. It had a recent episode called Hillers and Creekers which described the bullying that upper class (Hillers) did to working class (Creekers) residents. Wow. To make sure I don’t lose touch altogether with black culture, I listen to 2 Dope Queens and Historically Black. I’ve subscribed to Reparations but haven’t listened yet. There’s Still Processing from the New York Times, which focused on biracial folks in the most recent episode. I fill my ears and mind with hours of podcasts every week, what with all the driving I do beyond the reach of radio. I am the better for it.  I may work less than 30 hours a week, but I drive another 8 hours for my commute.

I confess I wish someone would like to build a bridge to me. A friend of Valerie’s invited us over for dinner early on, and included one of the resident gun-worshipping, trump-supporting curmudgeons. She proceeded to start a conversation about racism. It did not go well. Of course, the curmudgeon did not have a racist bone in his body (where are those blasted racist bones, anyway?) And, naturally, he’d had one unfortunate encounter with a black person in which the black person was mean to him and so, that’s it: black people had a chance and they blew it. It was too vast a territory to traverse over tri tip. He didn’t trust me. And I don’t know what our host intended. Self-described as a moderate republican, she is a decent person, and noble to the point of saintliness in some of her activities here in rural America. But I felt put on the spot, and discouraged. I’m game. But I do not desire to be put on a hot seat and ask to explain 400 years of white supremacy, and why it is still real and still important, as a sort of freak show. I had an idea about starting an anti-racist book group when I first arrived. Let me get my health together first; i just don’t have the energy right now.

**

Have I mentioned how gorgeously beautifully picturesque this place is? How happy I am to snuggle next to my beloved girlfriend in the fake brass bed I got off of the DC Craigslist? How much I enjoy all the wool I am collecting? I am one prolific lap blanket maker right about now. How glad I am that I made this move?

[daviddshiki]

The Adventures of David Dashiki-Story of an African American Hero- To Empower Young Black Youth To Set The Standard for Tomorrow

DAVID DASHIKI - HERO

THAT SECOND DATE (Continuation-FADING SUN -Secret Date w/o Daddy) Dashiki-David and Anita sneak out to a fast food restaurant.

NIGHT WAS FALLING. I knew it would all be over soon. The pace accelerated as I tried to tell Anita of my past. 

“ Tell me more David. This is so interesting. “

She squeezed my hand  and I sort of wet my pants. Thoughts rushed to my head and I spoke incoherently I suppose. Who the hell cared?

I attended the St. Andrews Anglican School. It was managed by the British. It was demanding, formal and strict. The instruction started at age 6. Some children who were smaller but 6 had to pass the physical test of eligibility. They passed the right hand across their head. If they could touch the left ear, they could attend school in the the first grade. We wore uniforms. Many times these clothes were passed down to the younger siblings. In the early grades, nobody wore shoes to school. When the teacher entered the room to begin the classes for the day, every child stood as a manner of respect. The classes were over crowded, in fact, excessively so. Some had as many as 44 students. After the roll was called, instruction ensued...It was serious and fascinating at the same time.

Anita’s eyes never left his face.

Education is free or was free when I was in Nigeria. Grades were very important.. Report cards were distributed every week. I remember this because red ink was bad and blue ink was good. Anybody in the town could ask to see your report card scores, results or grades.Its was the same for discipline. Anyone in the town could and would correct you when you did some act of misbehavior or defiance.

St Andrew’s has a very interesting history in Nigeria. No one wanted to study English when the British first established the primary school. After years passed and those graduates of the secondary school secured  gainful employment, everybody wanted to attend the school. Companies helped foster this Anglo-education since they preferred those who had been indoctrinated in the British education system.

Teachers!!! They were your second parents. You could not disrespect them...or even talk back. It was definitely not America. You attended elementary school for 9 years then you sat an entrance exam for high school which was 5 years. High School was called colegio which was the equivalent of college here. If you failed your high school entrance tests, you could apply to trade school...carpentry, farming. Some parents who could not afford to send their children to high school sent them to trade school. After university, you sought employment. Some, those who were capable, applied to law or medical school in Nigeria.

CULTURAL DIFFERENCES,,,

The husband called the shots whether working or not. Children did not fight in the streets because that would disgrace the family. If a person, went to jail, no one would want to marry into that family...the house of a criminal. The old folks were cared for by the young. There was no such thing as sending the old parent to a home. Nigerians had to respect their in-laws also.. 

Nigerians are different in culture and language. You can tell where a Nigerian is from by his last name.  Igbos are very industrious. They believe in business. Igbos will make it, whatever it is. There is the original and then there is Igbo made. The Yoruba are education oriented. “ I will sell my house so that my son can become a doctor. The Hausa believe in power and religion.They are predominantly muslim.  Many of their children enter the military. The dress, language, dishes and accent vary among the Nigerian people. The language is rich in proverbs and parables. Nigeria is more community centered. In America, you work...work...work...In Nigeria, we love community. We visit,. We talk. We don’t have to call to visit. 

The household is very strict and orderly. When father speaks, no one else talks.

We love each-other. 

“Ouch!” David jumped at the sound of Anita’s voice. He was gripping her hand ever so tightly...About the same time as he said that Nigerians love each other, the pressure of the vocalized words were manifested physically. He pinched her hand.

It was now quite dark. Time to head homeward. Time to think of what he might say to Daddy Dashiki about his tardiness. The answer came swiftly in the words that Debbie Dashiki often recited to him, “ The truth will set you free. Sometimes painful, but free nonetheless. Besides, you only have to tell the truth once.”   

( Special Thanks to Philip Falayi)            

[cats-in-bowties]

On being on Jeopardy!

Warning: This is long. Like, obnoxiously long. It’s all under the cut.

For as long as I can remember, Jeopardy has been a presence in my life. One of my strongest memories of 9/11 is coming home from school (I had just started first grade) and noticing that something was off because my mom wasn’t watching Jeopardy; she was watching the news coverage like everyone else was on that day.

I got my first Final Jeopardy right when I was nine. It was toward the start of Ken Jennings’s run and the correct response was Spongebob Squarepants, with the clue directly naming the creator- something I’d seen a million times because my younger brother demanded we watch it at pretty much every opportunity (I was more of an Arthur gal). It was at that time I started watching Jeopardy more attentively. After all, Jennings’s run was– and still is– unprecedented.

Regular watching was really able to happen when I got to middle school. I got done with classes and home in time to watch it at 3:30 as it was broadcast out of the Chicago ABC station my family got. When we switched tv providers and could no longer get Chicago channels, my mom and I chose instead to record the episode when it ran at 6 PM out of CBS Milwaukee and watch it before bed. When I started college at Lawrence, we agreed that the episodes should stay unwatched on the DVR until I could watch them at home– which meant squeezing in months of Jeopardy episodes into my breaks, which we usually accomplished by watching 2 or 3 a night.

In this time, I slowly got better at Jeopardy. There were various reasons for this. Being in high school, I was given my first exposure to a lot of the things they ask about on the show. Yeah, I got those questions on Kafka or World War I treaties or geometric terms, but I had just learned about them last week. But another important part of it was simply watching the show and noticing patterns. I started trying to guess things that would come up based on category names, often being able to call them in the regular rounds and– in moments that astound/terrify both my parents and myself– Final Jeopardy. (Though sometimes these guesses are wildly incorrect for the sake of being silly. For whatever reason, I have not been written into categories about “Notable Women” :P)

Doing so well, my parents often told me that it was only a matter of time before I ended up on the show. I would usually laugh it off and roll my eyes. Yeah, maybe. Someday. Not now or anything.

So I don’t know what it was that drove me to sign up to audition for the college tournament this year. Maybe it was the nagging knowledge that paying for graduate school (I’m currently in my senior year of undergrad) would be on my own and wanting to avoid student loans as much as possible and realizing that winning the top prize of $100,000 could get me there. Maybe it was wanting to show up those students from big name schools that seem to always make it into the tournament. Maybe it was sheer curiosity to see if I was as good as I thought I was.

I signed up to be notified about when the test would be shortly before going back for my final fall term. I closely followed and signed up for the online test, that I would be taking the night of September 28. I thought I did decently on the practice test and though I started the real one with a few guesses, I quickly fell into a rhythm, and then it was over. The online test is 50 questions with fifteen seconds to answer each one. I told my parents about it when I made my weekly skype home and though they were both excited for me– my mom especially– I never expected to hear anything back. I began lurking the Jeopardy subreddit and compared my answers with the ones posted (based on what I’m pretty sure I answered, I got anywhere from 40-43/50 correct; most places online say that you need above 35 to hear anything back from the producers).

Even knowing that, it was still a pleasant shock when I got an email two weeks later on October 11, during an afternoon of laundry and homework that said they wanted me to come to an in-person audition/interview in Chicago on Saturday, November 12. I checked my calendar– it was the Saturday at the end of ninth week (Lawrence runs on 3, 10-week terms so things are pretty hectic by week 9), a week after I would be gone for a quizbowl tournament and I had a draft of a paper due that Friday night before and there was a wind ensemble concert Saturday night, which meant I would need to be back to campus in time for my 7:15 PM shift at the library, since my coworker would be in the concert. I talked it over with my mom, who would pick me up after my last class got out on Friday around 4:30, drive home, sleep, take the train down to Chicago Saturday morning, have my audition at 11:30, then come straight back to get me to campus in time for work. Sure it was hectic and kind of insane, but there was Jeopardy on the line!

After rsvp-ing, I got a secondary email that gave more specific details as well as an application I would have to complete, sign, and bring with me to the audition. Now I just had to wait for a month. My classwork kept me busy, but I still indulged in fantasizing about possibilities and “I might be on Jeopardy” made its way into the margins of my notes when I was distracted.

Things went off without a hitch. My parents and I made it to Chicago with plenty of time and we found the hotel where the audition was being held (on the way to the hotel we passed Trump Tower. I flipped it off. It was cathartic). I found my way upstairs and noticed I was in the right place when I came across a lot of other college students and also a large supply of Jeopardy pens and paper that we would use to write our answers on. I killed time chatting with some of the others there. Most of them were from schools I’d heard of and ones that were bigger than Lawrence (University of Minnesota, Michigan, Chicago, Madison, even one guy from Harvard) but there were a few smaller schools there to hold their own (St. Olaf, St. Norbert). We finally started to see those from the 9 AM session trickle out of the room where we’d actually be in before we were greeted by a couple of the contestant coordinators– Glenn and Lauri– who took a roll call to make sure everyone was there and then who lined us up to have individual quick photos taken. We were then finally allowed to go in the other room and they talked to us about Jeopardy, mainly how the show works and how today would work. After a pre-recorded video greeting from Alex Trebek and a few mock clues that anyone could raise their hand and answer to get us in a Jeopardy mindset, the written test began. As was explained in my email, the written test closely resembled the online one in terms of difficulty and length, though we only had eight seconds per question this time. I felt I did pretty well, like on my first test, but there were a few I knew i got wrong (which I realized when chatting with the others while the tests were being scored) that I continually kicked myself over for the rest of the day (Bernie Sanders, Rosh Hashanah, Afghanistan, the Edward Snowden movie, and I think I spelled cerberus wrong enough to count as a wrong answer).

When Glenn and Lauri came back, they explained that we’d be playing some mock Jeopardy that would be filmed with two others and at the end of our time we would talk about ourselves a little before being dismissed to sit down and watch the others play. Much to my surprise, my name was called first– meaning I was not only in the first group to play, but I was in the first position at the front of the room. I felt I did well. I basically acted how I did when I watched at home, but with a little more poise. The weakest part I felt was when I talked about myself. I got through the initial part just fine– school, year, majors, plans after graduation, but after that I stumbled. What did I do outside of class? Work in the library? Waste time on YouTube and tumblr? Procrastinate writing papers? I got out something about really liking to read and also cats (helping my family foster cats was something on my facts sheet) before moving into the last part of the introduction: what you would do with the money. When Glenn told us this would be part of our introduction, he made sure to emphasize that paying off student loans and paying for grad school were not acceptable answers. Since the latter was what I’d realistically do, I talked about going to London again, since I had studied there last autumn and had fallen completely in love with it. Travel was kind of generic, but once I got through that part, it was over. Other people’s answers got to be a lot more creative or off-the-wall since they had more time to think on it but I felt mine had gone pretty well. Coming out of it, I felt the introduction was the weakest part of my audition that day.

Glenn told us when the filming would be for the actual tournament would be– January 10 and 11 and that if we were selected, we’d be contacted before the holidays. If we didn’t hear anything, we were free to audition next year if still eligible for the tournament or the regular show. After that we were dismissed and I wandered back down to the lobby, where my parents were waiting to pepper me with questions about it had gone. I left that day with a Jeopardy pen, low-quality earbuds in a Jeopardy pouch, and my memories.

Amtrak having wifi was a blessing and a curse. On one hand, I got things right that had been a guess (Andy Murray! H&M! Beirut is the capital of Lebanon!) but the ones I got wrong continued to nag at me even as I went back to school and the looming deadlines for papers grew ever closer. I knew I couldn’t go back in time and change things but I was still frustrated. Reading the subreddit about some frustrated fans who attended multiple auditions for the regular show and still not making the cut, I felt that my umming and lack of interests coupled with my semi-unknown school meant I wouldn’t make it to the show. I emphasized that my odds for getting on weren’t great when talking with my relatives over Thanksgiving who were all very excited for me. There had been about 30 people in my 11:30 session and the same in the earlier one, meaning 60 people auditioning in Chicago. They had also held auditions in Los Angeles, New Orleans, and New York City. Assuming roughly the same turnout size at those meant that 15 out of approximately 240 would get on– that’s a 6.25% chance. So not impossible, but also not very likely. I wanted to keep my hopes in check for when I wouldn’t get a call back.

But it happened December 2. I was back home on winter break (Lawrence is on a trimester system so we have Thanksgiving-New Year’s off) working at the Piggly Wiggly that had employed me over the summer as a cashier because people are still buying food in December. I got off my shift at 4 and called my mom to pick me up. I noticed that I had a missed call on my phone. It was from a number with an area code I didn’t recognize, but they’d left a voicemail– something that robots, telemarketers, or robot telemarketers didn’t do. So, as I walked up towards the front of the store to wait for my mom, I listened to the message.

“Hi, this is Ryan Keller from Jeopardy! I’m looking for Allison; I’ve got your application here, it looks like you went an audition for the College Championship in Chicago with Glenn and Lauri and I’d like to talk to you . . .” I had stopped in the aisle next to some greeting cards and an old lady doing her shopping as I heard him leave a number to call him back at and a giant grin on my face. I jumped up and down as I figured out how to a save a message and finish getting to the front of the store, the call echoing in my mind.

I listened to it a couple more times as I waited for my ride and texted my friend who had auditioned for the show in the past (once for college– she’d since graduated– and she was in the pool for the regular show at the time I heard back– hi, @bookofrevelation ) because I had to tell someone. My mom eventually got there and I hopped in the car where she’d parked. I stopped her before she started it again. “I had a voicemail on my phone when I got off of work,” I started. “It was Jeopardy. I think they want me for the show.” I’ll be honest; I cried a little bit out of sheer joy. Saying it made it even more real. My mom was appropriately excited for me and asked if I had called them back and I explained that I was going to once I was able to breathe again.

I nervously called them back. After reviewing some basic information that had been on my application, I found out: It was real. I had been selected for the tournament; filming would be January 10-11, they’d make and pay for travel and lodging arrangements. (I took some very scrambled notes down while on the phone) After confirming contact information for paperwork and a per diem check that would be sent to me I hung up and screamed that I was going to be on Jeopardy! I screamed at my brother. I screamed at my cat (who did not like this and ran off to hide). I wanted to scream it from my rooftop, but it was freezing outside. I told my dad when he got home from work that night and confirmed it to my friend who I’d been texting, who posted about it in the Facebook group for the quizbowl team who was also very excited for me.

I had a little over a month to prepare and I couldn’t have picked a better time to do so. It was the end of 2016 so everyone was releasing top ____ of 2016 lists. I also had a lot of Jeopardy episodes stockpiled on the DVR, and I started watching them standing up with a pen buzzer that I had to press before I could give my answer. I also contacted my school’s PR department to see if they’d be able to buy sweatshirts for my appearance there. I finagled my work schedule at the campus library to cover the days I’d be gone.

I returned to Lawrence the first week of January where I had to tell professors that I’d be missing class second week. They were pretty understanding– after all, this was Jeopardy! Not to mention I could always do readings for class on the plane.

I flew out to Los Angeles with my mom on Sunday, January 8. The Jeopardy production staff had made arrangements for me at a hotel near Universal Studios and had left Monday as a free day. Los Angeles weather was far from perfect– 50s and kind of drizzly– but coming from subzero Wisconsin temperatures it was a treat. I spent Monday at Universal Studios, which was awesome but weird. The lines were almost nonexistent and doing something I don’t normally do on a Monday made it feel like I was playing hooky. My mom and I went to see Hidden Figures that night. It was what I needed, since Tuesday and Wednesday would mean waking up early and being there for filming five episodes each.

Tuesday morning I met some of the producers and the other contestants in the lobby of the hotel. After re-signing our contracts we were loaded onto a bus where Maggie Speak gave us a run-down of everything Jeopardy. General rules, some basic tips, and what would happen in extraordinary circumstances like ties. The people I talked with were all very nice. There were 16 of us- 15 to play in the tournament and 1 alternate who had been informed of their role prior to the filming days. Because the College Championship is a ten-day tournament, the first day of filming was dedicated solely to the quarterfinals and the second would be for semifinals and the two-day finals. We arrived at the studio and were escorted into the contestant green room, which had some snacks and photos of past winners. We filled out some more paperwork and had our makeup done before going out to the set for promotional photos and some practice with the buzzer system.

The set didn’t feel real. It looked just like on tv, maybe a little bit smaller, and getting to walk on it was honestly kind of surreal. Like you wouldn’t expect something that exact to just exist in the real world but it does and I got to walk on it and pose with a sign that said Lawrence and play Jeopardy there.

A lot of the resources I consulted before going on the show talked about the buzzer as being a cruel mistress. They’re right. Getting the timing right is tricky. It’s really about getting it right when the clue is finished being read. There are lights on the edges of the board but the by the time they go on someone else has probably already buzzed in. In the practice rounds I felt I did all right. Being on the short side, they also had to lift me up quite a bit behind my podium– I had read that they put the contestants at roughly equal height because it makes it easier to frame the shot. They have blocks built into the stage that they can raise and lower to a specific height.

Because 4 semifinal positions are dependent on wildcard spots, we had to stay in the green room until our matches were assigned so we couldn’t know the scores of the other competitors and thus give those playing later in the day an unfair advantage. They called three names for the first match– I wasn’t in them– and the remaining 12 that would definitely be playing that day resigned ourselves to start waiting in the green room. The producers had brought us some movies and generic Jenga to play while back there since all of our devices had to be turned off as soon as the bus stopped at the studio. We watched Shaun of the Dead and Talladega Nights while hearing distant applause for Daily Doubles and commercial breaks all while under the watchful eye of one of the production staff. Periodically one of the producers would come back and get three more of us. After the end of the third match, we had lunch brought to us.

There were some more practice rounds after lunch and at last my name was called. I was in the fourth match of the day. I got fitted with a mic and my makeup retouched before going out there for real.

I don’t remember much about my match. One thing I’ve always appreciated about Jeopardy is how quickly it moves– the games move roughly in real time and there are no drawn-out waits while the crew does dramatics with the lights. But when you’re in it, things really move. The categories in the first round weren’t my favorites– there was a sports category where I knew Kaepernick and Steph Curry and nothing else and no musical theater in sight. I didn’t get a buzz in the entire first half of the single Jeopardy round. During the commercial break Glenn coached me on my buzzing and I figured out I’d be better off just ignoring the lights in favor of Alex’s reading.

The end of the first commercial break also means you get to talk with Alex. I had gone over my stories with one of the producers before filming started and highlighted which one I wanted prioritized– fostering kittens– which he completely ignored in to talk about my Don Quijote course I had last spring. I think I sounded pretty natural but I didn’t even get to talk about the coolest parts of Don Quijote– metatextual elements and thinking about the role of the author in such an early novel. The second half of the round allowed me to actually get on the board since the sports category had gotten cleared out before the break. I got a daily double in a geography category that I felt unsure of before answering and remembering the category. I don’t remember much of what I got right in most of the match. I remember getting FDR, salt, Department of Housing and Urban Development among other things, the last of which I got from someone who had only given the partial name. I had a fantastic brain fart where I stopped reading the clue and rang in thinking they wanted what RDA stood for. I’ve done quizbowl and don’t often neg– getting something wrong and losing points as well as locking out your team– but when I do I do not forget what I neg on. RDA is going to haunt me for the rest of my life.

That being said, I finished the Double Jeopardy round in a second place with $9000 and prevented it from being a runaway for Mohan from NYU. The Final Jeopardy category appeared: South America. I’m a Spanish major, but there’s a lot about South America I don’t know, not to mention that it could be a lot of things– geography, history, politics, or literature just to name a few. Unlike the other commercial breaks, the producers aren’t there to chat and make sure you’re doing okay, they are there to make sure to put in and lock in your wager so the show can continue. I decided to wager $4000– I wouldn’t win it, but $13000 was a decent place to finish for a wild card spot. This was all dependent on if I got it correct. In hindsight I should have risked more– everyone got FJ right with Mohan only risking $800. If I had wagered enough to get me to $16000 I would have won the match outright leaving him in a wild card place. As it was, at the time I finished I had secured the fourth wild card place, which was then taken by one of the contestants in the very next game. Watching the earlier quarterfinals once they aired showed me just how many people had gone all-in on their wagers. After all, quarterfinalists were guaranteed $5000 to take home.

I was heartbroken when I learned I wasn’t going on. I thought I would have done better. I should have studied more on the wagering end. I should have risked more. I should have I should have I should have I should have.

But I can’t live like that. I was the alternate on the second day of filming so I got to get up early and hang with really cool people for a second day and watch how the rest of the tournament unfolded, which was bittersweet, since I felt like I would have done better on the categories and clues that came up on the second day of filming. (There was a $2000 clue on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend that went dead! There was another clue on La La Land! Adele! There was a video games category that included an Overwatch clue that went dead and I don’t even play Overwatch!) Even in talking with my mom afterward she felt like I would have done better with the boards that had come up earlier in the quarterfinals (there had been a musical theater category that included Hamilton D: ) but that just proves how much of the show is dependent on the luck of the draw. Even watching the quarterfinals from when I was trapped in the greenroom was hard– there were a lot of things I would have gotten. Watching Jeopardy being filmed was really cool– they run a tight ship and during commercial breaks Alex and Johnny Gilbert answer audience questions to which they have impeccably prepared responses for pretty much anything you could throw at them (my mom was really able to observe this since she watched 10 games total). No, I don’t know what Alex Trebek is really really like; the FCC doesn’t want me to know and he’s busy doing his own stuff and besides, the producers are way more fun to be around, even if there’s no name recognition.

After the finals finished (the Spiciest Memelord) there was a reception for the production staff and contestants. I got to meet and talk with members of the Clue Crew and finally friend everyone else who I’d competed with. It was an incredible experience that didn’t quite feel real when I got back to campus. I went back to classes and couldn’t say what happened with the tournament. It slowly dawned on me as I got closer to airdate. It really happened. And it was awesome.

I watched my game surrounded by about fourteen of my Lawrence friends and topperstix. It was awesome. They wanted to see me do well and cheered when I got things right. I would have loved to have shown them a secure win and more than one game, but it’s all in the past and what’s done is done.

I can’t be on Jeopardy again. Doing this waives my eligibility. But I had a great time and fulfilled a dream. And honestly? That’s enough.

[morganbelarus]

The embryo is just a year younger than the mother who birthed her

(CNN)The longest known frozen human embryo to result in a successful birth was born last month in Tennessee.

Emma Wren Gibson, delivered November 25 by Dr. Jeffrey Keenan, medical director of the National Embryo Donation Center, is the result of an embryo originally frozen on October 14, 1992.

Emma's parents, Tina and Benjamin Gibson of eastern Tennessee, admit feeling surprised when they were told the exact age of the embryo thawed March 13 by Carol Sommerfelt, embryology lab director at the National Embryo Donation Center.

"Do you realize I'm only 25? This embryo and I could have been best friends," Tina Gibson said.

Today, Tina, now 26, explained to CNN, "I just wanted a baby. I don't care if it's a world record or not."

Sommerfelt said the birth is "pretty exciting considering how long the embryos had been frozen." Previously, the oldest known frozen embryo that came to successful birth was 20 years old.

Weighing 6 pounds 8 ounces and measuring 20 inches long, Emma is a healthy baby girl, and that's the only thought on her parents' minds.

"We're just so thankful and blessed. She's a precious Christmas gift from the Lord," Tina said. "We're just so grateful."

Despite not sharing genes, Benjamin, 33, said that Emma feels completely like his own child. "As soon as she came out, I fell in love with her," he said.

Emma's story begins long before the Gibsons "adopted" her (and four sibling embryos from the same egg donor). Created for in vitro fertilization by another, anonymous couple, the embryos had been left in storage so they could be used by someone unable or unwilling to conceive a child naturally.

These are "snowbabies," lingering in icy suspension, potential human lives waiting to be born.

Infertility and fostering

Seven years ago, the Gibsons married, refusing to allow a dark cloud to shadow their love. "My husband has cystic fibrosis, so infertility is common," Tina said, adding that they had found peace with it. "We had decided that we were more than likely going to adopt, and we were fine with that."

Before trying to implant an embryo, they fostered several children and enjoyed doing so.

During a break between fosters, they decided to take a week-long vacation. As they were dropping off their dog at her parents' house, Tina's father stopped them.

"I saw something on the news today. It's called embryo adoption, and they would implant an embryo in you, and you could carry a baby," he told his daughter.

"I was like, 'Well, that's nice, Dad, but we're not interested. We're knee-deep in foster care right now,' " Tina recalled with a laugh. "I kind of blew it off. I had no interest in it."

But during the eight-hour car trip, Tina could not stop thinking about her father's words. "It was playing in my mind over and over and over," she said. Hours into her journey, she turned to Benjamin and asked what he thought about "this embryo adoption." He too had been thinking about it "the whole time."

Tina started researching on her phone, sharing information with Benjamin as he drove. "I knew everything about it before I got off that vacation," she said. She knew, for instance, that the National Embryo Donation Center was based in Knoxville, Tennessee, and could facilitate a frozen embryo transfer.

Still, she was not immediately ready. Weeks passed.

"During August of last year, I just came home one day; I looked at Benjamin, and I said, 'I think we need to submit an application for embryo adoption,' " she explained. "On a whim, we filled out an application and submitted that night."

''It's a world record!'

By December, she was on medication to do a "mock transfer": essentially a series of medical examinations to see whether her uterus would be physically capable of receiving an implanted embryo. In January, the tests were complete, and though Tina required a small procedure to remove a polyp from her uterus, she was eligible for implantation.

Next, a home study was performed, said Mark Mellinger, marketing and development director for the National Embryo Donation Center. This part of the process, conducted by a partner organization run by a social worker, is "just the standard home study that mimics any home study that anybody would go through in a traditional adoption process."

Families who have been approved by the state generally pass the requirements set by the donation center. "Very rarely does a review find a red flag," Mellinger said.

Finally, the Gibsons were ready for the implantation procedure in March. But they had to choose an embryo, which required viewing donor "profiles" listing the basic genetic information about the genetic parents."We literally had two weeks to go through 300 profiles," Benjamin said.

"It was overwhelming," Tina said. "There was so many, and it's like, how do you pick?"

The couple started with one small detail just to "narrow it down in an easy way," she said. Since she and Benjamin are physically small, they began by looking at profiles based on height and weight. "Then we started looking at some of the bigger things, like medical history.

"Long story short, we picked our profile," Tina said, but that embryo was not viable, so their second choice was used.

Only when they "were fixing to go for the transfer" did her doctor and Sommerfelt explain "It's a world record!"

"I didn't sign up for this," Tina said, laughing.

In fact, no one knows that it's definitely a record.

"Identifying the oldest known embryo is simply an impossibility," said Dr. Zaher Merhi, director of IVF research and development at New Hope Fertility Center, which is not involved to the Gibson case. American companies are not required to report to the government the age of an embryo used, only the outcome of the pregnancy, so "nobody has these records."

Other experts, though, cited the study on a 20-year-old frozen embryo that came to successful birth.

Sommerfelt said she had unthawed three "snowbabies," all of them adopted from the same anonymous donor. Surprisingly, all three survived. Normally, there's about a 75% survival rate when unthawing frozen embryos.

Though Keenan transferred all three to Tina, only one implanted. This is normal, since successful implantation rate "normally runs about 25% to 30%," she said.

The transfer "worked out perfect," Tina said. "It's a miracle. First time."

Problems encountered during pregnancy were due to Tina having a short cervix, which could have prevented her from successfully carrying her baby. That did not happen, and just after Thanksgiving, Tina began 20 hours of labor. All the while, Emma's heart beat normally.

"So it all just fell into place," said Tina. "It's our new normal; it's crazy to think about it."

Odds of success

Dr. Jason Barritt, laboratory director and research scientist at the Southern California Reproductive Center, said that only about "15% to 20% of the time there are additional embryos" not used in IVF. Due to the high success rates of the IVF process, which has been scientifically explored in animals for more than half a century, fewer embryos are now created. Louise Brown, the first human resulting from an IVF procedure, was born in July 1978.

"Usually, couples have leftover embryos because they have completed their families and no longer need additional embryos," Barritt said. His center was not involved in the Gibson case. "They remain frozen until the patient asks for some other disposition."

Disposition options -- what is done with the additional embryos -- include simply leaving them cryopreserved in liquid nitrogen storage tanks, disposing of them in an appropriate way, donating them to research or training for the advancement of the field of reproductive medicine, or donating them to another couple.

The final option is rare, Barritt said, "due to a variety of additional steps and guidelines that must be met," such as infectious disease screening and meeting US Food and Drug Administration donor eligibility regulations, "and significant legal documentation that must be met."

Mellinger said the National Embryo Donation Center is a faith-based organization founded in 2003. "We say that our reason for existence is to protect the sanctity and dignity of the human embryo," he said. "We are big advocates of embryo donation and embryo adoption."

If you want to donate an embryo, it will handle the details for free.

"We will contact the fertility clinic where the embryos are stored, and they are happy to work with us," Mellinger said. A special storage container is shipped, the fertility center places the embryos inside and sends it to the the donation center, and then the embryos are stored in the lab in Knoxville.

"We will adopt out an embryo whenever," he said. "Sometimes, embryos have been in storage for a few weeks, maybe a few months. Sometimes, it's literally been decades."

The adopting couple pays all the fees, amounting to less than about $12,500 for a first try, according to Mellinger.

Recalling the birth of her special daughter, Tina's voice dissolves into tears.

"We wanted to adopt, and I don't know that that isn't going to be in our future. We may still adopt," she said. "This just ended up being the route that we took. I think that we would have been equally elated if were able to adopt. "

See the latest news and share your comments with CNN Health on Facebook and Twitter.

Asked whether they might try again with the remaining two embryos -- Emma's sisters or brothers -- Tina said she absolutely would have said "yes" two months ago.

"But after having natural childbirth, I'm like, 'I'm never doing that again!' " she said. "But I'm sure in like a year, I'll be like, 'I want to try for another baby.' "

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[whereareroo]

DEMOCRACY AND DIVERSITY

WF THOUGHTS (6/28/20).

We're in the midst of another movement to end racial injustice in America. Let's hope that we make real, and lasting, progress this time. America cannot reach her full potential if we do not conquer racial injustice in all forms.

There's been much talk about racism in police departments. There's even been some action. That's good news, but police issues are only a small part of the picture.

There's been very little talk about the big picture. What's the "big picture?" On all fronts, we need to end racial inequality in America. Racial equality will make America a better place. A united country is a stronger country.

I've been disappointed that the recent discourse has not included specific proposals on the bigger issues. Progress cannot be achieved without a specific action plan.

I'm not afraid to talk about how to solve the "big picture" problem. We should start with the two simple steps that I will discuss below. We can make quick progress if we are willing to take bold actions.

I. ON A NATIONWIDE BASIS, WE NEED TO PROVIDE ALL PUBLIC SCHOOL STUDENTS WITH AN EQUAL EDUCATION

We should be ashamed of our public school system. Despite improvements over the years, our school system is still racist.

Don't even try to disagree with me. We all know the drill. Whenever White people with children are relocating to a new neighborhood, their primary question is "how are the schools?"

The "how are the schools" question is a racist code that asks two questions: (1) Is the student population predominantly (or totally) White?

(2) Is the spending per student higher than other local schools?

Those two embarrassing questions, so embarrassing that they must be asked in code, tell you all you need to know about racial inequality in the American public school system.

The continued existence of the "how are the schools" code absolutely proves the ongoing racism in American education. If you explore this issue online, you'll be embarrassed by the data. A recent U.S. Department of Education study found that at least 50% of high poverty schools receive significantly less funding than other schools in their district. The same study notes that high poverty districts generally spend 20% less per student than low poverty districts. If education funding was equalized, the National Bureau of Economic Research believes that more poor children would finish high school and achieve higher grades. In adulthood, according to that study, those children would have higher wages and significantly decreased chances of experiencing poverty.

This issue has been debated, and litigated, for decades. We all know that the inequality continues to exist, and that the racial education gap ultimately contributes in a significant way to the ongoing racial divisions in America. Let's hope that the racial justice movement in 2020 brings real change on this front.

There is no doubt that the racism in American education, which is camouflaged by a funding system based on the affluence of the neighborhood, causes permanent damage to Black students, Hispanic students, and other poor students. To add insult to injury, White America then complains about the fact that minority students show lackluster results and underperform in our economic system. This cycle must end.

It's easy to end racism and inequality in education. As always, it's all about the money. Within every state, on a grade-by-grade basis, the funding should be the same for every student. Over time, that will equalize educational performance. Over time, equalized educational performance will eliminate racial barriers in society. In theory, this is not difficult stuff. Implementation difficulties arise because of politics, greed, selfishness, and racism. We must overcome the obstacles. Many White Americans will be unhappy about equalized education funding. That's too bad. It's time to do the right thing.

The 2020 racial injustice movement should demand a federal law that requires every state to guarantee that education funding is equal within that state. There are many ways that an equal funding system can be achieved. If a state does not want to increase overall education spending within that state, it can simply force the reallocation of the existing spending. There is no excuse for unequal education funding. The momentum of 2020 should be used to end this travesty.

No state can survive without federal funding of education. Through high school, federal funding accounts for about 15% of the education budget in every state. Federal dollars, in various forms, are even bigger part of the funding for the institutions of higher education in every state. No state should get a penny of federal money for education unless that state guarantees and proves that its education spending is equal for all students through high school graduation. On this issue, it's time to end the talk and litigation. We need a law, with financial teeth, that brings equal education to every child in America. The racism must end. Let's hope that the movement of 2020 brings us a new federal government in 2021, and that the federal government finally ends racist educational funding.

II. THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT SHOULD CREATE, AND MANDATE FOR ALL PUBLIC SCHOOL CHILDREN, A COURSE ON "DEMOCRACY AND DIVERSITY."

Much of the racial divide in America is caused by ignorance. Our minority communities do not know how to use their political muscle to achieve their rightful place in society. Our White children do not know enough about the proven benefits of diversity in America, and they lack the tools necessary to welcome and foster diversity.

Yes, I understand that these are issues that should be taught at home. The reality is that we live in an age of single parents and two-earner households. Parents are exhausted. Very little gets taught at home. The issues of democracy and diversity are too important to be left to chance. They must be required subjects at school.

All Americans need to know how to use their government to fix things. If Americans knew how to hold their government accountable, problems like racism wouldn't linger for so long. For decades, kids haven't been taught about their government. The result is a government that is largely ineffective and largely unresponsive to pressing issues. Our children need to be taught that the government belongs to them, and that it should be working to advance the common good.

America has a rich history of diversity. Except for Native Americans, we're all "transplants" from different lands. Our ancestors are from everywhere. Our diversity has caused conflict, but it has also been our strength. As the world gets smaller and smaller, we will become more diverse. Racism doesn't help anybody. Diversity should be embraced. Our children need to be taught about our diverse history, including the struggles, and they need to learn how to use our diversity to bring America to greater heights. Diversity isn't a problem, it's a blessing.

It shouldn't be hard for experts to develop a 13 year curriculum, to be taught in all schools from kindergarten through high school, on "Democracy and Diversity." These issues should be taught from a very young age, and the lessons can increase in depth and complexity as the child grows. Knowledge about democracy and diversity will go a long way towards eliminating racism and inequality in America.

If the experts can't develop such a curriculum, I'll do it. If you'd like to submit ideas, give me a shout. To be eligible for any educational funding from the federal government, every state should be required to teach the federally approved "Democracy and Diversity" course.

My two ideas would make a big difference. I realize that there is a long list of other issues that need to be addressed too. (Housing, voting rights, college funding, gerrymandering, criminal justice, healthcare etc.) Unfortunately, we can't do everything at the same time. To me, it makes sense to start with equal education and "Democracy and Diversity."

Let's hope that the 2020 racial justice movement goes far beyond police reform. Let's use the momentum to take big steps. There is much work to be done. We are supposed to be the land of equality and freedom. Let's act like it! The time is now.

[capath]

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[fosteringinsc]

Creating a Safe Haven: What South Carolina Foster Homes Need for a Home Study

Creating a Safe Haven: What South Carolina Foster Homes Need for a Home Study. So you have been thinking about it for awhile and talking to your spouse about becoming a Foster Parent. It is a noble and rewarding journey, providing a safe and loving environment for children in need. If you’re considering opening your heart and home to a child in South Carolina, a crucial step in the process is the…

[kidsviral-blog]

17 Shocking Things Everyone Should Know About Adoption

New Post has been published on https://kidsviral.info/17-shocking-things-everyone-should-know-about-adoption/

17 Shocking Things Everyone Should Know About Adoption

You must have a certain BMI to adopt from Korea. What the what?!

1. It takes about 3 years and costs around $30,000 to adopt a child internationally.

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Globox Media / Both Ends Burning / Via buy.stuckdocumentary.com

“In many states, we can determine that someone is eligible to buy a gun in less than 4 hours,” Craig Juntunen—founder and CEO of the global advocacy organization Both Ends Burning and executive producer of the documentary STUCK—told BuzzFeed Life. “But during the 3 years that an adoptive family is being proven eligible, the adoptive child is losing developmental days that they will never get back.”

2. During an international adoption, the first thing that happens is you get matched with your child.

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Globox Media / Both Ends Burning / Via buy.stuckdocumentary.com

Now that you have gotten attached to your adoptive child, the process begins. “This means that sometimes your child is waiting for years before you can actually take them home,” Juntunen says.

3. Your house has to be fully baby-proofed before the ball gets rolling.

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Globox Media / Both Ends Burning / Via buy.stuckdocumentary.com

For example: If you give birth to your child biologically, an official will not come to your house to ensure that you have a pool fence. But if you adopt, a social worker will make sure that your entire home is baby-proofed before you bring the baby home. “There’s an element of mistrust in the adoption process, but when someone is born biologically we just assume that everything is fine,” Juntunen says.

4. The rate of adopted children has been dropping ever since 2004.

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travel.state.gov

And it’s not because there are fewer children up for adoption. In 2013, there were 7,092 worldwide adoptions. “The 2014 numbers arent out yet,” international adoption attorney and director of outreach and advocacy for Both Ends Burning Kelly Dempsey told BuzzFeed Life. “But I anticipate lower numbers for this past year—maybe around 5,000 successful adoptions.”

5. In domestic adoption, you may pay less to adopt a black child than you would to adopt a white child.

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Globox Media / Both Ends Burning / Via buy.stuckdocumentary.com

With domestic adoption, it typically costs more to adopt a girl than boy, according to Dempsey. It may also cost a lot more to adopt a white child because there are fewer of them in the system. “Usually, the hardest placed children are black boys,” says Dempsey.

6. After the 2010 Haiti earthquake, adoptive children were rushed to their prospective families.

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Globox Media / Both Ends Burning / Via buy.stuckdocumentary.com

A humanitarian parole policy expedited in-process adoptions to get orphaned children to their adoptive families as quickly as possible. Some of the children were flown in on helicopters where their adoptive parents were waiting.

7. Gay couples can’t adopt in Utah or Mississippi.

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Globox Media / Both Ends Burning / Via buy.stuckdocumentary.com

“Federal law is silent on homosexuals adopting children, and adoption laws vary from state to state,” attorney Matthew Izzi told Legal Match. “However, Utah and Mississippi courts enforce actual bans on adoption by gay people.”

8. You have to have a BMI under 35 to adopt from Korea.

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Globox Media / Both Ends Burning / Via buy.stuckdocumentary.com

And if either you or your spouse has a BMI in the range of 30-35, you have to obtain a medical letter after applying for adoption, according to Holt International Children’s Services.

9. Russia stopped adopting children to the U.S. two years ago.

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Globox Media / Both Ends Burning / Via buy.stuckdocumentary.com

“It was political backlash to a bipartisan bill that America passed called The Magnitsky Act,” Dempsey says. The bill had nothing to do with adoption, but countries often shift their adoption policies depending on their political standings with a particular country.

10. Korean birth mothers must wait seven days before considering adoption.

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Globox Media / Both Ends Burning / Via buy.stuckdocumentary.com

“In 2012, the Korean National Assembly implemented the Special Adoption Law that explicitly discourages sending children abroad,” according to CNN. Under the law, birth mothers must wait seven days before relinquishing the child. If a mother chooses adoption, her consent must be verified and her child’s birth registered. Finally, a mother may choose to revoke the adoption up to six months after her application.

11. Single parents can’t adopt from Thailand or Mongolia.

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Gobox Media / Both Ends Burning / Via buy.stuckdocumentary.com

Another requirement for Thailand: You can’t already have more than one child in the home and that child must be at least 18 months old, according to Holt International.

12. LGBT couples can’t adopt from Kenya.

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adoptionnews.spence-chapin.org

“In Kenya, an applicant who is of ‘unsound mind, has been charged or convicted of an offence by a court of competent jurisdiction, or is a homosexual’ is barred from adoption,” according to the United Nations Department of Economic and Social Affairs.

13. There are a lot of feelings on whether white parents should adopt black children.

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Globox Media / Both Ends Burning / Via buy.stuckdocumentary.com

The National Association of Black Social Workers is adamantly opposed to transracial adoptions, according to The Encyclopedia of Adoption by Christine A. Adamec and Laurie C. Miller. “Those who disapprove of white parents adopting black children believe that white parents cannot truly understand black children, that children will be deprived of their heritage, and that their development will be harmed,” Adamec and Miller write in the book. “Supporters of transracial adoption when suitable black adoptive families cannot be identified cite longitudinal studies that indicate black children raised by white parents are generally well-adjusted.”

14. Families are currently unable to take their adoptive children home from the Congo.

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Globox Media / Both Ends Burning / Via buy.stuckdocumentary.com

“We have about 1,000 American families that have either adopted or are in the process of adopting children from the Democratic Republic of the Congo, but we can’t get clearance for the kids to leave the country,” Dempsey says. “We don’t know why. We had about a dozen children die during this process. Right now, families are moving to the Congo to raise the children they’ve adopted”

15. Some birth mothers seek out adoptive parents on their own.

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Globox Media / Both Ends Burning / Via buy.stuckdocumentary.com

Some birth mothers will use the Internet and social media (and not an agency) to find adoptive parents, according to Illinois adoption attorney Kathleen Hogan Morrison. A mother might make a group on Facebook or find an adoption forum to make a match.

16. Caretakers are outnumbered at most international orphanages.

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Globox Media / Stuck / Via buy.stuckdocumentary.com

“While filming Stuck, we visited over 30 orphanages,” Juntunen says. “And every time we walked through the door, the children would run to us with their arms open—they wanted to be picked up and held. Sometimes there’s maybe 4 caregivers to every 85 or 100 kids.”

17. Some countries see adoption as an industry.

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Globox Media / Both Ends Burning / Via buy.stuckdocumentary.com

“About 15 to 20 years ago, an international adoption cost between $3,000 and $5,000,” says Dempsey. “But over time people were willing to pay more, so countries started to add various fees to the process.”

We need to fight for our children!

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Globox Media / Both Ends Burning / Via buy.stuckdocumentary.com

Millions of children are orphaned every year (the number is so high and changes with such rapidity that it’s hard for government organizations to even keep track). There are other options for adoption (like through foster care or the adoption of a family member) and each process yields a beautiful and unique family. It’s important to all of us that these children find good homes. Their lives matter.

Pass it on.

Read more: http://www.buzzfeed.com/alisoncaporimo/things-everyone-should-know-about-adoption

[ourfostercaresystemisbroken]

My Story

I know I’m meant to be a foster mom. I know it in my bones.

My husband, who was adopted as a baby, was not hard to convince. At least he wasn’t until we reached the part of the MAPP training course where you realize how truly messy the foster care system is and how damaging that mess is to the nearly half a million children who are in it.

Our hope is to adopt siblings from the US foster care system. It’s a complex, emotionally exhausting beast with a noble goal - to provide children with a safe, healthy home until they can be reunified with their birth families. Unfortunately, that doesn’t happen about 20% of the time, leaving children trapped in the complex web that is American bureaucracy. There are counties and states and private agencies all tangled together, more often contradicting one another than they are working in stride toward the same goal. And shouldn’t it be the same goal? At what point did we lose sight of what matters most - the kids? 

And yet we forged on. We took 6 weeks of classes in our then-state of Kansas. We took a first aid class. We got a kids’ bedroom ready and completely child-proofed our home. We had a list of references. I lovingly created a scrapbook sharing who we are, photos of our house and the kids’ room and our dogs, photos and of our families and friends, and what our future foster kids could expect when they came to stay with us. I was later told that this wasn’t actually used by anyone, despite it being required as part of the application process. I wrote a letter to potential birth parents explaining what care we would provide their children in their absence. We FILLED OUT BY HAND (this part still kills me) a lengthy application that included our family histories, a sample meal plan and details about our personal finances. We were fingerprinted for a background check. Those fingerprints were eventually lost for a week or so, then miraculously found. We waited for a home inspection. And waited. And waited. And waited. And then it happened. And several days later, just like that, we were licensed. What was supposed to take 3-6 months took nearly a year. (Kansas, by the way, is a hot mess.)

And then my husband was recruited for a new job in North Carolina at the same time that we received The Call. Our first call from the state. There were three siblings - ages 4, 2 and 3 months. They had been removed from their home two days prior and had been staying in an office building without any place to go. It was Friday at 4pm when I got the call. The intake department wanted to find a home for them before the weekend, but they wanted it to be a long-term placement. I wanted to scream “YES WE’LL TAKE THEM.” But there was the possibility of a move and, while my heart broke into a million pieces as a result, I couldn’t say yes. So I said no. And I asked to be removed from the call list until we knew what was happening. It was just too hard to know we were turning down kids who needed someone to say yes.

Three months later, we moved to North Carolina. We never got to even use that hard-fought Kansas license. And we were starting over in a new state with new rules and new steps to follow. We took two months to get settled into our new home and routines. We took a vacation. And then we decided we were ready to start the process again. So just this week, I reached out to the Wake County family services division, nervous and excited. The response: 

I can let you know that for adoption home study or foster care licensing, Wake County and the private agencies we partner with want you to have adjusted to a major life change for a year before you proceed with your license/home study. 

I cried. 

A follow-up email later in the day said that we “might” be eligible since we had been licensed in another state. I replied asking for clarification, but my email has gone unanswered.

My husband and I are both executives in our companies. We live in a nice home in a nice neighborhood. We have supportive families and friends. We are caring and empathetic and we are persistent and resilient. We are the kind of people that the foster system needs. And yet every step is a battle. 

But I refuse to give up. We will eventually become foster parents. I know this. But we also have the opportunity to speak up and raise awareness about what is truly a crisis in America. One that somehow doesn’t seem to get nearly enough airtime or exposure. This website is the first step to expose the brokenness of the American foster care system. Because the only way we can make change happen is if we can understand where the failures are happening and start to repair them. We need to hold the agencies and government entities and lawmakers accountable. We need to demand change on behalf of the kids who can’t demand it for themselves.

[dcsopenline]

RESOURCES TO PROMOTE READING

Children in Foster Care Receive Monthly Books at No Cost

Governor's Books from Birth Foundation (GBBF) promotes early childhood literacy in Tennessee's birth to age five population. In partnership with Dolly Parton's Imagination Library, GBBF gives all preschoolers in Tennessee the opportunity to receive books in the mail at no cost to families.

With support from the Verizon Foundation, through a partnership with GBBF and DCS, every age-eligible (birth to age five) child in foster care in the state of Tennessee is automatically enrolled in the Imagination Library and receives monthly books.

Why Early Literacy Matters

·         Reading with children in an interactive style can increase their IQ by 6 points.

·         Books in the home increase the amount of one-on-one reading time and nurturing between children and adults.

·         Tennessee studies found that Imagination Library participants were more likely to outperform their nonparticipating peers on literacy assessments through 3rd grade.

·         Early exposure to books and reading allow children to build early literacy skills for long-term educational success.

Promote reading and Imagination Library resources

·         You can register a child by visiting www.GovernorsFoundation.org or calling toll-free at 877-99-BOOKS.

·         Distribute enrollment brochures or other materials to raise awareness of Tennessee’s Imagination Library. Contact GBBF by calling 877-99-BOOKS to ask for brochures, reading bookmarks or other materials.

·         Encourage families to read together. Visit GBBF’s website to download reading tips and activities for parents at https://www.governorsfoundation.org/engage/engage-with-your-child.

Help parents learn how to read with children: Easy Tips to Share

·         Read with expression, using different voices for different characters.

·         Emphasize rhythms and rhymes in stories.

·         Encourage your child to repeat what you say, comment on it, and ask questions.

·         Place books in a child-accessible area, and give him a chance to choose his own books for story-time.

·         Read stories again and again.

·         Take the opportunity to familiarize your child with the alphabet.

·         Ask your child to tell you about the pictures and the story.

·         Point out colors, shapes, numbers, and letters and ask him to find them in the books you are reading together.

·         Point out written words in the world around you, like on traffic signs and on food labels in the grocery store.

[nhlabornews]

AFT-NH Legislative Bulletin 3-5-18: SB 193 Vouchers and Public Negotiations

Welcome back to everyone who has been on winter vacation this past week. Hopefully, you found the break restful and relaxing. The Legislature has also been on break for the past week, though some committees continued meeting and pushing legislation forward. This coming week, however, will be a busy one in Concord, especially for the NH House, which will meet three days and confronts a calendar with nearly 400 potential pieces of legislation to be considered. Nearly two-thirds of these proposals are on the Consent Calendar, where legislation goes that has a unanimous or near unanimous committee recommendation (inexpedient to legislate, ought to pass, etc.). One vote at the start of Tuesday’s session will dispose of all legislation on the Consent Calendar by approving the Calendar and all the recommendations contained therein. The only exceptions will be pieces of legislation that individual legislators remove from the Consent calendar for later debate. Thus, it is likely the House will vote on and discuss/debate over 150 pieces of legislation over the course of three days this week. So fasten your seat-belts.

  SB 193 The most important piece of legislation from our perspective is one that will not be debated or voted upon this week—SB 193, the bill to establish “Education Savings Accounts,” or what some call “disguised vouchers” or “tax subsidies for those sending children to private schools or home schooling.” This past week, the advocates of SB 193 unveiled their long-awaited amendment to the bill in the Finance Committee. This new version would reduce the eligible student population, but would also eliminate the so-called stabilization grants that were initially promised to local districts hard hit by financial losses. Instead, when a student leaves and takes their State-funding with them, the State will reimburse the District with a one-time payment of $1500, less than half the money lost to the District. Notice, it is a one-time payment, even though the student may be gone for ten years (after first grade is completed). The Legislative Budget Assistant, using very conservative estimates of participation, estimates that over eleven years the cumulative loss to local districts will surpass $100 million, with over 6% of NH students participating. So what the amendment does is reduce the cost to the State but pass it along to local districts and to local taxpayers, with the heaviest impact occurring in urban centers such as Nashua, Manchester and Concord, where numerous private schools are accessible.

  These estimates are very conservative and likely understated, for once the monies are available, private schools will expand and new ones will be established to take advantage of this financial windfall funded by taxpayers. Even the leading cheerleader for privatizing NH education, Commissioner of Education Frank Edelblut, agrees that participation and costs will rise beyond these estimates. Furthermore, the amended bill does nothing in regards to other problematic areas. There is virtually no accountability for how funds are spent and no usable assessment of educational effectiveness (schools can administer any standardized test and home schoolers can be evaluated by any ‘teacher,’ including those with no certification whatsoever). Parents of students with individualized needs will have no protections under SB 193, for no private school must accept or provide services needed by such students.

  Do not be fooled by proponents who argue that so-called choice is driven by academics. National surveys show that nearly half of parents seeking private schooling do so out of a desire for religious education, while others seek athletic opportunities or smaller/larger schools than those available in their local district. So when a parent with great athletic aspirations for their son or daughter chooses a private school because of its religious affiliation or its strong basketball program, you will subsidize that decision. Public funds, whether directly or indirectly, will subsidize these private decisions, and the broad social commitment to providing a strong education to all students will be further eroded and privatization replaces the notion of public education as a public good fostering the educated citizenry essential to the functioning of a democratic polity and society.

  House Finance Committee and SB 193 The House Finance Committee-Division II will hold a working session on SB 193 on Friday, March 9, followed by a full Finance Committee session and vote, scheduled for March 14. Remember, this is the same committee that refuses to endorse any cost-of-living increase for NH retirees who have not seen any increase since 2010, on grounds there is no money available. This is the same committee that recommended against resuming any portion of the State’s promised share of retirement system funding for localities and school districts, on grounds that there is no money available. And this is the committee whose leadership so often pledges adamant opposition to any downshifting of costs from the State onto localities. But then, consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds, or so they say. As we near action on SB 193, we will be calling upon you to contact your local representatives, whether Republican or Democrat, and make your views clear.

  Line of Duty Death Benefit for School Employees In other impending action, the Finance Committee will also be taking up HB 1415, providing a death benefit to school personnel killed in the line of duty. We hope such death benefits will never need to be paid here in NH, but the State should adopt this proposal, which is a means of expressing sympathy and respect for those who give their lives in defense of students, our children. The bill will be taken up by Finance on March 14 and like SB193, will come to the House for a vote on March 21 or 22.

  Negotiations in Public   Amongst the plethora of bills coming to the House this week, a sleeper bill is HB 1344, which would remove the right-to-know exemption from public sector contract negotiations. Imagine negotiating in front of an audience—not exactly conducive to open, honest and direct dialogue which often leads to compromise. Instead, there will be grandstanding, a hardening of positions on both sides, and ultimately greater costs as negotiations invariably wind up in mediation and fact-finding. AFT-NH opposes this bill, as does the NH Municipal Association and most public-sector labor unions. It is bad legislation which is certain to have negative consequences for all parties concerned.

  Retirees COLA  The House will also take up HB 1756, providing a long-overdue COLA (cost-of-living adjustment) to NH retirees. As noted above, the majority on the Finance Committee have recommended killing this bill on grounds the money does not exist, even for the very small payments envisioned in this bill. Remember this and remind those who vote to kill this bill that they should apply the same logic to SB 193.

  I could go on for pages listing bills coming before the House this week, but out of consideration for those reading this bulletin let me conclude by noting just two more bills. HB 1762, repealing a broad swath of rules protecting worker safety and wage protection, is recommended for interim study (the quiet death approach). Let’s hope it goes as recommended by the Labor Committee. In addition, HB 1803, barring payroll deductions for non-governmental entities (United Way, labor unions, etc.) is on the Consent calendar with a 12-1 bipartisan recommendation of ‘Inexpedient to Legislate.’ We hope it remains on Consent and goes away quietly. So you see, it is never all bad news.

  Have a good week this week, and prepare to act regarding SB 193.

  In Solidarity,

Douglas Ley

AFT-NH, President

Click here to down the bulletin in PDF for easy sharing

AFT-NH Legislative Bulletin 3-5-18: SB 193 Vouchers and Public Negotiations was originally published on NH LABOR NEWS

[ralphmorgan-blog1]

The embryo is just a year younger than the mother who birthed her

(CNN)The longest known frozen human embryo to result in a successful birth was born last month in Tennessee.

Emma Wren Gibson, delivered November 25 by Dr. Jeffrey Keenan, medical director of the National Embryo Donation Center, is the result of an embryo originally frozen on October 14, 1992.

Emma's parents, Tina and Benjamin Gibson of eastern Tennessee, admit feeling surprised when they were told the exact age of the embryo thawed March 13 by Carol Sommerfelt, embryology lab director at the National Embryo Donation Center.

"Do you realize I'm only 25? This embryo and I could have been best friends," Tina Gibson said.

Today, Tina, now 26, explained to CNN, "I just wanted a baby. I don't care if it's a world record or not."

Sommerfelt said the birth is "pretty exciting considering how long the embryos had been frozen." Previously, the oldest known frozen embryo that came to successful birth was 20 years old.

Weighing 6 pounds 8 ounces and measuring 20 inches long, Emma is a healthy baby girl, and that's the only thought on her parents' minds.

"We're just so thankful and blessed. She's a precious Christmas gift from the Lord," Tina said. "We're just so grateful."

Despite not sharing genes, Benjamin, 33, said that Emma feels completely like his own child. "As soon as she came out, I fell in love with her," he said.

Emma's story begins long before the Gibsons "adopted" her (and four sibling embryos from the same egg donor). Created for in vitro fertilization by another, anonymous couple, the embryos had been left in storage so they could be used by someone unable or unwilling to conceive a child naturally.

These are "snowbabies," lingering in icy suspension, potential human lives waiting to be born.

Infertility and fostering

Seven years ago, the Gibsons married, refusing to allow a dark cloud to shadow their love. "My husband has cystic fibrosis, so infertility is common," Tina said, adding that they had found peace with it. "We had decided that we were more than likely going to adopt, and we were fine with that."

Before trying to implant an embryo, they fostered several children and enjoyed doing so.

During a break between fosters, they decided to take a week-long vacation. As they were dropping off their dog at her parents' house, Tina's father stopped them.

"I saw something on the news today. It's called embryo adoption, and they would implant an embryo in you, and you could carry a baby," he told his daughter.

"I was like, 'Well, that's nice, Dad, but we're not interested. We're knee-deep in foster care right now,' " Tina recalled with a laugh. "I kind of blew it off. I had no interest in it."

But during the eight-hour car trip, Tina could not stop thinking about her father's words. "It was playing in my mind over and over and over," she said. Hours into her journey, she turned to Benjamin and asked what he thought about "this embryo adoption." He too had been thinking about it "the whole time."

Tina started researching on her phone, sharing information with Benjamin as he drove. "I knew everything about it before I got off that vacation," she said. She knew, for instance, that the National Embryo Donation Center was based in Knoxville, Tennessee, and could facilitate a frozen embryo transfer.

Still, she was not immediately ready. Weeks passed.

"During August of last year, I just came home one day; I looked at Benjamin, and I said, 'I think we need to submit an application for embryo adoption,' " she explained. "On a whim, we filled out an application and submitted that night."

''It's a world record!'

By December, she was on medication to do a "mock transfer": essentially a series of medical examinations to see whether her uterus would be physically capable of receiving an implanted embryo. In January, the tests were complete, and though Tina required a small procedure to remove a polyp from her uterus, she was eligible for implantation.

Next, a home study was performed, said Mark Mellinger, marketing and development director for the National Embryo Donation Center. This part of the process, conducted by a partner organization run by a social worker, is "just the standard home study that mimics any home study that anybody would go through in a traditional adoption process."

Families who have been approved by the state generally pass the requirements set by the donation center. "Very rarely does a review find a red flag," Mellinger said.

Finally, the Gibsons were ready for the implantation procedure in March. But they had to choose an embryo, which required viewing donor "profiles" listing the basic genetic information about the genetic parents."We literally had two weeks to go through 300 profiles," Benjamin said.

"It was overwhelming," Tina said. "There was so many, and it's like, how do you pick?"

The couple started with one small detail just to "narrow it down in an easy way," she said. Since she and Benjamin are physically small, they began by looking at profiles based on height and weight. "Then we started looking at some of the bigger things, like medical history.

"Long story short, we picked our profile," Tina said, but that embryo was not viable, so their second choice was used.

Only when they "were fixing to go for the transfer" did her doctor and Sommerfelt explain "It's a world record!"

"I didn't sign up for this," Tina said, laughing.

In fact, no one knows that it's definitely a record.

"Identifying the oldest known embryo is simply an impossibility," said Dr. Zaher Merhi, director of IVF research and development at New Hope Fertility Center, which is not involved to the Gibson case. American companies are not required to report to the government the age of an embryo used, only the outcome of the pregnancy, so "nobody has these records."

Other experts, though, cited the study on a 20-year-old frozen embryo that came to successful birth.

Sommerfelt said she had unthawed three "snowbabies," all of them adopted from the same anonymous donor. Surprisingly, all three survived. Normally, there's about a 75% survival rate when unthawing frozen embryos.

Though Keenan transferred all three to Tina, only one implanted. This is normal, since successful implantation rate "normally runs about 25% to 30%," she said.

The transfer "worked out perfect," Tina said. "It's a miracle. First time."

Problems encountered during pregnancy were due to Tina having a short cervix, which could have prevented her from successfully carrying her baby. That did not happen, and just after Thanksgiving, Tina began 20 hours of labor. All the while, Emma's heart beat normally.

"So it all just fell into place," said Tina. "It's our new normal; it's crazy to think about it."

Odds of success

Dr. Jason Barritt, laboratory director and research scientist at the Southern California Reproductive Center, said that only about "15% to 20% of the time there are additional embryos" not used in IVF. Due to the high success rates of the IVF process, which has been scientifically explored in animals for more than half a century, fewer embryos are now created. Louise Brown, the first human resulting from an IVF procedure, was born in July 1978.

"Usually, couples have leftover embryos because they have completed their families and no longer need additional embryos," Barritt said. His center was not involved in the Gibson case. "They remain frozen until the patient asks for some other disposition."

Disposition options -- what is done with the additional embryos -- include simply leaving them cryopreserved in liquid nitrogen storage tanks, disposing of them in an appropriate way, donating them to research or training for the advancement of the field of reproductive medicine, or donating them to another couple.

The final option is rare, Barritt said, "due to a variety of additional steps and guidelines that must be met," such as infectious disease screening and meeting US Food and Drug Administration donor eligibility regulations, "and significant legal documentation that must be met."

Mellinger said the National Embryo Donation Center is a faith-based organization founded in 2003. "We say that our reason for existence is to protect the sanctity and dignity of the human embryo," he said. "We are big advocates of embryo donation and embryo adoption."

If you want to donate an embryo, it will handle the details for free.

"We will contact the fertility clinic where the embryos are stored, and they are happy to work with us," Mellinger said. A special storage container is shipped, the fertility center places the embryos inside and sends it to the the donation center, and then the embryos are stored in the lab in Knoxville.

"We will adopt out an embryo whenever," he said. "Sometimes, embryos have been in storage for a few weeks, maybe a few months. Sometimes, it's literally been decades."

The adopting couple pays all the fees, amounting to less than about $12,500 for a first try, according to Mellinger.

Recalling the birth of her special daughter, Tina's voice dissolves into tears.

"We wanted to adopt, and I don't know that that isn't going to be in our future. We may still adopt," she said. "This just ended up being the route that we took. I think that we would have been equally elated if were able to adopt. "

See the latest news and share your comments with CNN Health on Facebook and Twitter.

Asked whether they might try again with the remaining two embryos -- Emma's sisters or brothers -- Tina said she absolutely would have said "yes" two months ago.

"But after having natural childbirth, I'm like, 'I'm never doing that again!' " she said. "But I'm sure in like a year, I'll be like, 'I want to try for another baby.' "

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The embryo is just a year younger than the mother who birthed her was originally posted by A 18 MOA Top News from around

[kansascityhappenings]

Mom gives birth to ‘snowbaby’ girl frozen as an embryo 25 years ago

http://launch.newsinc.com/js/embed.js

TENNESSEE – The longest known frozen human embryo to result in a successful birth was born last month in Tennessee.

Emma Wren Gibson, delivered November 25 by Dr. Jeffrey Keenan, medical director of the National Embryo Donation Center, is the result of an embryo originally frozen on October 14, 1992.

Emma’s parents, Tina and Benjamin Gibson of eastern Tennessee, admit feeling surprised when they were told the exact age of the embryo thawed March 13 by Carol Sommerfelt, embryology lab director at the National Embryo Donation Center.

“Do you realize I’m only 25? This embryo and I could have been best friends,” Tina Gibson said.

Today, Tina, now 26, explained to CNN, “I just wanted a baby. I don’t care if it’s a world record or not.”

Sommerfelt said the birth is “pretty exciting considering how long the embryos had been frozen.” Previously, the oldest known frozen embryo that came to successful birth was 20 years old.

Weighing 6 pounds 8 ounces and measuring 20 inches long, Emma is a healthy baby girl, and that’s the only thought on her parents’ minds.

“We’re just so thankful and blessed. She’s a precious Christmas gift from the Lord,” Tina said. “We’re just so grateful.”

Despite not sharing genes, Benjamin, 33, said that Emma feels completely like his own child. “As soon as she came out, I fell in love with her,” he said.

Emma’s story begins long before the Gibsons “adopted” her (and four sibling embryos from the same egg donor). Created for in vitro fertilization by another, anonymous couple, the embryos had been left in storage so they could be used by someone unable or unwilling to conceive a child naturally.

These are “snowbabies,” lingering in icy suspension, potential human lives waiting to be born.

Infertility and fostering

Seven years ago, the Gibsons married, refusing to allow a dark cloud to shadow their love. “My husband has cystic fibrosis, so infertility is common,” Tina said, adding that they had found peace with it. “We had decided that we were more than likely going to adopt, and we were fine with that.”

Before trying to implant an embryo, they fostered several children and enjoyed doing so.

During a break between fosters, they decided to take a week-long vacation. As they were dropping off their dog at her parents’ house, Tina’s father stopped them.

“I saw something on the news today. It’s called embryo adoption, and they would implant an embryo in you, and you could carry a baby,” he told his daughter.

“I was like, ‘Well, that’s nice, Dad, but we’re not interested. We’re knee-deep in foster care right now,’ ” Tina recalled with a laugh. “I kind of blew it off. I had no interest in it.”

But during the eight-hour car trip, Tina could not stop thinking about her father’s words. “It was playing in my mind over and over and over,” she said. Hours into her journey, she turned to Benjamin and asked what he thought about “this embryo adoption.” He too had been thinking about it “the whole time.”

Tina started researching on her phone, sharing information with Benjamin as he drove. “I knew everything about it before I got off that vacation,” she said. She knew, for instance, that the National Embryo Donation Center was based in Knoxville, Tennessee, and could facilitate a frozen embryo transfer.

Still, she was not immediately ready. Weeks passed.

“During August of last year, I just came home one day; I looked at Benjamin, and I said, ‘I think we need to submit an application for embryo adoption,’ ” she explained. “On a whim, we filled out an application and submitted that night.”

“It’s a world record!”

By December, she was on medication to do a “mock transfer”: essentially a series of medical examinations to see whether her uterus would be physically capable of receiving an implanted embryo. In January, the tests were complete, and though Tina required a small procedure to remove a polyp from her uterus, she was eligible for implantation.

Next, a home study was performed, said Mark Mellinger, marketing and development director for the National Embryo Donation Center. This part of the process, conducted by a partner organization run by a social worker, is “just the standard home study that mimics any home study that anybody would go through in a traditional adoption process.”

Families who have been approved by the state generally pass the requirements set by the donation center. “Very rarely does a review find a red flag,” Mellinger said.

Finally, the Gibsons were ready for the implantation procedure in March. But they had to choose an embryo, which required viewing donor “profiles” listing the basic genetic information about the genetic parents. “We literally had two weeks to go through 300 profiles,” Benjamin said.

“It was overwhelming,” Tina said. “There was so many, and it’s like, how do you pick?”

The couple started with one small detail just to “narrow it down in an easy way,” she said. Since she and Benjamin are physically small, they began by looking at profiles based on height and weight. “Then we started looking at some of the bigger things, like medical history.

“Long story short, we picked our profile,” Tina said, but that embryo was not viable, so their second choice was used.

Only when they “were fixing to go for the transfer” did her doctor and Sommerfelt explain “It’s a world record!”

“I didn’t sign up for this,” Tina said, laughing.

In fact, no one knows that it’s definitely a record.

“Identifying the oldest known embryo is simply an impossibility,” said Dr. Zaher Merhi, director of IVF research and development at New Hope Fertility Center, which is not involved to the Gibson case. American companies are not required to report to the government the age of an embryo used, only the outcome of the pregnancy, so “nobody has these records.”

Other experts, though, cited the study on a 20-year-old frozen embryo that came to successful birth.

Sommerfelt said she had unthawed three “snowbabies,” all of them adopted from the same anonymous donor. Surprisingly, all three survived. Normally, there’s about a 75% survival rate when unthawing frozen embryos.

Though Keenan transferred all three to Tina, only one implanted. This is normal, since successful implantation rate “normally runs about 25% to 30%,” she said.

The transfer “worked out perfect,” Tina said. “It’s a miracle. First time.”

Problems encountered during pregnancy were due to Tina having a short cervix, which could have prevented her from successfully carrying her baby. That did not happen, and just after Thanksgiving, Tina began 20 hours of labor. All the while, Emma’s heart beat normally.

“So it all just fell into place,” said Tina. “It’s our new normal; it’s crazy to think about it.”

Odds of success

Dr. Jason Barritt, laboratory director and research scientist at the Southern California Reproductive Center, said that only about “15% to 20% of the time there are additional embryos” not used in IVF. Due to the high success rates of the IVF process, which has been scientifically explored in animals for more than half a century, fewer embryos are now created. Louise Brown, the first human resulting from an IVF procedure, was born in July 1978.

“Usually, couples have leftover embryos because they have completed their families and no longer need additional embryos,” Barritt said. His center was not involved in the Gibson case. “They remain frozen until the patient asks for some other disposition.”

Disposition options — what is done with the additional embryos — include simply leaving them cryopreserved in liquid nitrogen storage tanks, disposing of them in an appropriate way, donating them to research or training for the advancement of the field of reproductive medicine, or donating them to another couple.

The final option is rare, Barritt said, “due to a variety of additional steps and guidelines that must be met,” such as infectious disease screening and meeting US Food and Drug Administration donor eligibility regulations, “and significant legal documentation that must be met.”

Mellinger said the National Embryo Donation Center is a faith-based organization founded in 2003. “We say that our reason for existence is to protect the sanctity and dignity of the human embryo,” he said. “We are big advocates of embryo donation and embryo adoption.”

If you want to donate an embryo, it will handle the details for free.

“We will contact the fertility clinic where the embryos are stored, and they are happy to work with us,” Mellinger said. A special storage container is shipped, the fertility center places the embryos inside and sends it to the the donation center, and then the embryos are stored in the lab in Knoxville.

“We will adopt out an embryo whenever,” he said. “Sometimes, embryos have been in storage for a few weeks, maybe a few months. Sometimes, it’s literally been decades.”

The adopting couple pays all the fees, amounting to less than about $12,500 for a first try, according to Mellinger.

Recalling the birth of her special daughter, Tina’s voice dissolves into tears.

“We wanted to adopt, and I don’t know that that isn’t going to be in our future. We may still adopt,” she said. “This just ended up being the route that we took. I think that we would have been equally elated if were able to adopt. ”

Asked whether they might try again with the remaining two embryos — Emma’s sisters or brothers — Tina said she absolutely would have said “yes” two months ago.

“But after having natural childbirth, I’m like, ‘I’m never doing that again!’ ” she said. “But I’m sure in like a year, I’ll be like, ‘I want to try for another baby.’ “

from FOX 4 Kansas City WDAF-TV | News, Weather, Sports http://fox4kc.com/2017/12/20/mom-gives-birth-to-snowbaby-girl-frozen-as-an-embryo-25-years-ago/

from Kansas City Happenings https://kansascityhappenings.wordpress.com/2017/12/20/mom-gives-birth-to-snowbaby-girl-frozen-as-an-embryo-25-years-ago/