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clericofshadows · 11 months ago

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in memoriam

Description: ME3 ERA--Ashley stumbles upon Regis after dealing with some inner turmoil of her own.

Pairings: Regis Shepard/Kaidan Alenko/Zaeed Massani

Note: been in a slump for a while...but I found myself a little rejuvenated after writing in Ashley's POV again.

Many things could be said about Regis Shepard. Butcher of Torfan. Savior of the Citadel. Destroyer of the Collectors.

To some, even a traitor to the Alliance, even after returning the SR-2 with a dossier full of Cerberus secrets. A condemner of the Council after his actions after the Battle of the Citadel. For every good title, Regis has another worse one lurking underneath.

He almost seems to carry both sides proudly.

To his crew, they never saw him as those titles after shaking off the first initial impressions, getting used to having Commander Shepard as their superior officer. Always surprised at his occasional openness around the crew, memorizing their names, their home planets, their hobbies... preferred shifts and foods, even going so far as to find out if they want to join him for biotic drills if they were attuned as such.

Out on the field, he turned into something else. An aura of command that made everyone want to stand to attention even if ordered to be at ease. A ruthlessness tinged by his glowing eyes and scars, a demon out in the field. Purple biotics a sign of his arrival, ripping through anyone and anything in their path if he deemed it a threat. Obey or die. Crafting alliances and leaving bodies in his path, Reapers and indoctrinated Cerebrus souls no match for him and his forward squads.

But sometimes, late at night, he could be seen standing in front of the memorial wall. Or he'll sit cross legged in front of it, sipping on tea with a book--an honest to God paper book.

Those nights were rare. Some considered them rumors, fake, people trying to stir up trouble on skeleton crew nights.

Ashley knew better. A heart hidden underneath, gleaming gold in the right light. He cared, oh, he cared so much.

Ashley found him one such night, coming up from cargo where she destroyed one of Vega's bags, her body aching under her exertion. Nightmares about X-57. About Balak surviving and still committing atrocities while those civilians burned from her choice.

"Hey, Skipper," she said, cracking her knuckles as she exited the elevator. "Out here on your own?" This was the first night Kaidan was back on board. Hell, some of the crew even picked up on Regis's happier attitude, finally whole again. She figured they would be... celebrating.

Adams will probably put that board up again if he hasn't already. Their resident L2 biotics cause so many sensor issues on a good day.

Even the whole common area was empty. Usually there's at least a few crewmembers about. A couple of marines standing guard in case something happens--what happened for Regis to become so damn paranoid?

Perhaps this is the time to ask.

He closed his book after dog-earing a page. "Yeah."

One word responses. Even from him, that wasn't good.

"Want a friend?"

He inclined his head, which she took as a yes.

She sat down next to him, crossing her legs, saying nothing at first, offering a silent companionship. Part of this felt like some nights on the SR-1, where someone will be up late and inevitably it seemed like someone else would join them. Regis's insomnia was sometimes at it worst during their first mission, and she would run into him often.

She often thought about one such conversation they had where Regis told her about his father's ring. About his recommendations for her.

About Eden Prime.

She and Kaidan sat vigil together many moments after Virmire. After Alchera when they could. Thinking about what they lost. Thinking about what could've been.

A few moments passed in silence.

Her gaze turned to the wall, scanning over the names. This wasn't her first time spending a few moments in front of it, lamenting the dead. Friends from the SR-1. Tanaka, who shared her love for literature, swapping recommendations as they found the time. Pakti, who gave her some tips on how to best mod shotguns. Laflamme, who loved sparring and a good cup of tea.

Newton, Bryant, Chi, Porter... the marines who died in Regis's attempt to save them both.

There were times when she saw her own name up there. She and Kaidan never talked about it. They never will. But, if Regis didn't see Virmire as a winning scenario, she may not have made it off that damn planet.

Is that something she's made peace with? That answer to herself changes all the time.

Some names she didn't fully recognize. They were emblazed with yellow, not the silver of the SR-1 crew. They may have been crewmembers that lost their lives when the Normandy flew under Cerberus's colors. Regis never talked much about his time under their command. It may have been his ship, but she knew he was never in charge.

Killing him every second he was on board.

Three of them belonged to those that lost their lives on his suicide mission. Those she heard about even less, only knowing them because EDI elaborated on them when she asked. A krogan grown to be a genetically perfect soldier, a new destiny. A geth that allied itself with them.

A turian that was almost a part of their crew on the hunt against Saren.

All EDI said regarding them and Regis were that they were never close. Disagreed with some more often than not, but still considered them key parts of the puzzle against the Collectors.

"I didn't take the time to learn much about the Cerberus crew," Regis said after a long sigh. "Sure, I knew their names. 'Ranks.' Designations. Skills. Talents. All the shit I'm obligated to know. But I didn't know them like I did with the SR-1. Couldn't tell you their dreams or their families or their favorite goddamn vid."

"What happened to them?" She asked first.

"There was a mission that needed all of our attention. Normally, I don't send the full crew out. Too risky. But EDI got a signal of something that seemed like another Reaper corpse, this time planet side. So, I called everyone in. All twelve of them. Took our shuttle down. Before we knew it, it was nothing. A fucking trap so the Collectors could board our ship."

That explains the marines.

"They wanted my crew specially, I'm sure, but all of us went down. When we came back, Moreau was the only one left after he and EDI took back the ship. They took the bodies too," Regis said, his voice flat. "Only found out exactly who we lost after Mordin escorted the crew back to the ship. If we didn't attack the base as soon as we did... I may have had no one to save."

Even thinking about hypotheticals. Something must really be bothering him. Normally he's the type to live and let live, never dwelling on what could've been.

"But you did. You succeeded," she said. "I can't imagine what you went through on that damn mission."

He clenched his jaw, his eyes narrowing. "I did what I could. It was a success in nearly every definition of the word."

Nearly.

She didn't point out his word choice, sensing a sore spot. "And it got you back to the Alliance. That's the real success."

"Was it? You and I both know the mission Kaidan and I went on before I was officially back."

The Alpha Relay. Hackett's request for a stealthy mission to save a key asset that turned into far more.

Sometimes she thinks about Kaidan and wonders how he decided he was going to be the one to condemn the lives in Bahak.

And she worries about the few she condemned on X-57.

No, that's not fair. None of them should have to make the hard choices like that, no matter how many lives could be at stake.

Regis and Kaidan both made that choice. But she knew Kaidan pressed that goddamn button.

He was quieter now. Even more in control of his perfect Alliance Golden Boy persona.

They all were marred with something now.

"You're still here," she said. "Don't tell me you want to undo Wren's work in keeping that off of both your records."

A sharp laugh escaped him. Bitter, dry, mocking. "No, I'd rather not incur the wrath of our dear Broker."

Just ask him, goddammit.

She turned to face him, and he raised an eyebrow, seemingly aware of what she was going to ask. "You can tell me to fuck off and I will, but what's really going on? You aren't yourself."

She racked her mind for something, anything that could've gotten him in such a dark mood. The date seemed insignificant, he was celebrating the arrival of Kaidan back on the ship, and nothing seemed wrong earlier when discussing their next move.

"You got me," he said, letting out a breath. "Normally, this day doesn't bother me. But today was the day my father died."

Shit. She had no idea.

Unsure if she should apologize or not, she opened her mouth, but he beat her to it. "Don't bother. It's in the past."

"Even so, it's clearly bothering you. Would Adrian want to--"

"No," he interrupted with a finality. "Not him, nor Vik. Vik didn't even know Atlas anyway, but they'll be busy with Adrian. I've already took them both off shift since we won't be able to visit Earth and his gravestone."

Another piece of the puzzle.

"I'm sorry," she said, leaning in closer to him. To her surprise, he didn't push her away, putting his head on her shoulder. She pulled him in. "A tradition?"

"Kinda."

Back to the one word answers.

"You could create a new one," she suggested, but carefully. Not wanting to butt in with advice if that wasn't what he wanted.

"Maybe. Last time we were still on Earth, so we all went. Me, Hannah, and Adrian. While we were prepping for the Reapers..." He trailed off. "Didn't enjoy seeing my headstone there, but it was good updating him on all the crazy shit in my life."

At her look, he continued. "We got it removed. Slipped through the fucking cracks after I came back, but then again..." He trailed off again, and her mind helpfully filled in the blanks.

He may have needed that headstone if his mission failed.

"I wanted to take Zaeed and Kaidan with me, but Zee was out gathering allies and Kaidan was with his spec ops squad. With them here with me, it got me thinking."

And there it is.

When Ashley first talked about her faith, Regis was receptive to it, but admitted he was an atheist and knew very little about it. He knew more about pagan traditions and the asari Athame doctrine. There was a certain... clear attention he gave her every time she brought it up, now knowing he was fine with it.

"I'm sure he's keeping an eye on you now," she offered.

"You think?"

"I know."

He shook his head. "You know, sometimes I've thought about those two fucking years. Did we meet? Or was there nothing? I don't remember anything beyond dying in space and waking up on that damn table," he said, likely for her benefit. She did wonder. Selfishly, she wanted to confirm her beliefs.

"But that doesn't mean there wasn't anything." He let out a huff that almost sounded like a laugh. "Hannah says he would be proud of me. I can almost believe it now from her."

"Almost?"

He closed his eyes. "I've never had a good relationship with her after I became old enough to stop considering space to be the coolest shit ever."

She did know that they weren't close, but beyond that, she wondered why. Hannah Shepard was always a great paragon within the Alliance, continuing to carry a legacy that Regis shattered with Torfan. Not that she considered that as such, but many did.

Alliance royalty and the fallen disciple.

But there were times she met up with Hannah in those two years that showed... regrets from Hannah. The way she would hope that they would never have a Torfan, but to be prepared for something that could become it.

And that they would have her support no matter what. Lurking underneath was guilt from something she did after Regis's notoriety.

Perhaps that's why Kaidan always seemed more subdued, almost judgemental around her.

"Well, then I'll say he's proud of you. Achieving so much and surrounding yourself with incredible people and loving two men that obviously feel the same way," she said, rubbing his shoulder.

He looked up at her, those red eyes softening. "Thanks. I hate to say it, but my mother's and I's relationship got better after my death."

She tried not to flinch at that, but probably failed by the way Regis sighed. "Sorry. I hate having this gap. Fucks up my perception."

"It's hard on all of us," she said, recovering. "I don't like thinking about it, but it happened. Say it all you want, because against all odds, we're stuck with you again."

"Come on, tell me how you really feel," he laughed. Something in him seemed to loosen even as he straightened back up. "What were you doing up?" He glanced at her hands. "Someone went a little hard on the bags."

She rubbed her knuckles. "Did you ever read the reports on the X-57 incident?"

"I did, yes." His tone betrayed nothing.

"That's why I'm up," she said, letting out a sigh. "Sometimes, I think about the choice I made. And wonder if I should've chose different. There are nights that all I see are those damn bodies... the sacrifice I made to ensure Balak would never walk free again."

"Are you asking what I would've done?" Regis asked.

"Yes. No." She let out a frustrated sound. "I don't know. This mission helped secure me both the N7 track and a Spectre recommendation, but all I can think about is what I lost in the process."

"Then that makes you a good person," Regis said. "Don't lose that. Hell, I immortalized my damn squad for a reason." He rubbed the back of his neck, his skull tattoo peeking up from the collar of his hoodie. "Don't forget what you lost, but don't let it consume you either."

He never said what he would've chose. Even knowing Regis and his own personal code--he always tries to save as many innocent lives as possible--she wasn't sure what choice he would've made.

Maybe she doesn't want to know. Could she have survived Torfan, the Alpha Relay, the hard choices on his damn suicide mission? Not to mention his decision to hold back the Alliance fleet back when Saren and Sovereign were their biggest threats.

Best not to dwell on it.

"I'll keep that in mind. I've had to make some hard choices before, but... I don't know. Maybe it's all the shit surrounding that mission that made it hit deeper. All the things I could've done instead."

Regis nodded, looking back at the wall. "Zee and I had a long talk after the suicide mission. I was... not struggling per se but I was dealing with those I had lost. I wasn't close with them. Maybe that contributed, maybe not. In the moment, their deaths felt unavoidable. Still do, most of the time."

He frowned. "But that mission still weighs on me. Maybe even more than Torfan did. Too many outcomes and potential changes. I don't like what ifs... but I also think about what could've been if I put Taylor as the second squad leader instead of Vakarian. Legion with the crew escort. Grunt as my backup against that fucking abomination.... but I didn't make those choices. Could've been worse for us and me. And that's why I don't fucking dwell on this shit. Because it always could've been far worse just as much as it could've been better."

She nodded, pulling her knees to her chest. "It seemed so easy in the moment to deal with Balak and his squad. They were going to kill millions..."

"I understand," Regis said, his voice quiet. More than you know, was left unsaid, but she heard it all the same.

Distantly, she heard the elevator doors open. She turned around, and Kaidan and Zaeed walked out. Kaidan neglected to put a shirt on but was in soft cotton joggers, and Zaeed was in a loose tanktop and shorts.

Surely they knew what was going on today, right?

"We're here to collect our stray Commander," Kaidan said, holding out a hand for Regis.

"Bastard thought he could slip away from us," Zaeed said, shaking his head. "Come on, baby. Let's go back to bed."

Regis didn't defend himself from Zaeed, only reaching up to clasp Kaidan's hand, letting him help him up. Zaeed held out a hand for her to use, and she took it with a smile, using him as leverage to stand up.

"He was good company, though," Ashley said, pulling the attention back to her. "But I'm with you. It's late and I'm going to regret being up tomorrow morning."

"Take some time," Kaidan said, waving her concerns off. "We're in an adjustment period right now."

"Says you," Regis said, kissing him on the cheek. "Sorry for not waking you both. I needed some time."

"I know," Zaeed said. "But still, we're here for a goddamn reason, you know. Kaid, go ahead and escort him back up. I'll make us something to drink."

Kaidan nodded, not protesting at all. Maybe there was a plan to this. Regis didn't protest either, following Kaidan into the elevator.

Once the doors, closed, he walked over to the kitchen and pulled out a few mugs and put some water in the kettle. "Did he tell you?" he asked, reaching for a few hot chocolate packets. She slightly judged him for making it with water, but the gesture was sweet, even grabbing one for her.

"Well, he told me about a lot of things, honestly," Ashley admitted. "But yes, today is the day his father died. I didn't know."

"Not many do," he replied. "Kaid and I were thinking about talking with EDI and replicating a new plaque for the wall."

"I think he would appreciate that. I know he spends... more time than he likes to admit with the wall."

Zaeed nodded, crossing his arms. "I'm still not sure it was a good choice, but it seems to give peace to a lot of people here."

"Does Regis..." she trailed off, trying to figure out how to word what she wants to say without coming off as being too nosy.

"I think I get what you want to ask. Does he suffer from what happened on Alchera?"

"I sometimes forget how damn perceptive you are."

He winked. "Comes with the job." He took a moment to pour the pre-portioned packets into each mug, checking on the kettle. "Almost done," he muttered. He cleared his throat. "To answer the question, yes and no. He visited the site of the crash and recovered as many tags and effects he could all on his own. I insisted that I should go with him, but he refused. He also won't open that damn shutter in the ceiling. Cerberus knew damn well what they were pulling with that shit."

Regis also closes the Observation ones every time he enters. Joker and EDI keep the pilot shutters closed. She's noticed.

They all have.

"Kaidan once told me that Regis's biggest fear was dying in space. I'm surprised he still is willing to be on a ship after that."

Zaeed pressed his lips together in a hard line. "Duty above all else."

"You clearly don't believe that."

"But Regis does and will as long as we have the fucking Reapers to deal with." He scoffed. "Self-sacrificing goddamn idiot. I love him and my heart aches every time he goes out into the field, every time he has to yell at every selfish bastard in this galaxy to step up and do the right thing. And he gets back up each day, to do it all over again. If we win this, he'll either be the most celebrated hero or the biggest goddamn villain."

Regis has been called similar things. A hero for what he did on the Citadel, but more vocal outrage over a human condemning the Council and the Ascension.

And now... Regis has garnered the support of the turians, gained an army in the krogan, dealt a damning political blow to the salarians, and has many other allies in his pocket from what he's done even while under Cerberus's lock and key.

"I hope he gets the rest he deserves."

The kettle sang. Zaeed poured the water into each mug, grabbing a spoon to stir each one up.

"You and me both, Ash." He held out a mug.

She took it. "But we both know that's not going to happen anytime soon."

"And that's why we're here so he's not doing it alone. Good night, Ash. Thanks for keeping him company."

She smiled from behind her mug. "And thanks for the drink."

"Anytime."

#mass effect #ashley williams #zaeed massani #male shepard #commander shepard #kaidan alenko #regis shepard #cleric's writing #masshenko #took a break from my other wips: LOTSB ; kaidan/hackett/nyx fic ; eventual part 3 to my cit dlc write up to write this #my slump was really impacting me a bit and a shitty guest comment I got on a fic I forgot to turn them off on didn't help #also left a writing server and man I feel a lot better now #so yeah here's this

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monoscale9 · 12 days ago

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Reviewing Error's ships based on how compatible they are with each other- a stupidly long rant

Hello! This is going to be a really long rant about 6 ships, which are listed before the cut. These are just my take on them, so don't take it too personally! In fact, I'd love to hear your opinions on how you think they would get along! Ships included are (in the order I address them):

Errorink

Destructivedeath (Error x Reaper)

Errorfresh

Insomnia (Error x Dream)

Errormare

Errorberry

Errorink

Ok, so the most common ship is Errorink, but I'm not sure about their relation with each other. In theory, it's kinda cool because it's Protector of Creation x Destroyer, but in retrospect, there's a lot of stuff that I think renders them incompatible with each other. First of all, Ink doesn't have true emotions. He doesn't have a soul, and feels only off of ink vials made from creativity. Anything he might feel will most probably not be genuine, and canonically, it's hard for Ink to maintain relationships because of that. Error is also canonically too self-absorbed to think about romance or have any attraction to anyone, there is nothing in their stories that even hints about them meeting as far as I'm aware. So in conclusion, the furthest I see their relationship going is just knowing each other. Sadly no enemies to lovers fantasy here.

Destructivedeath

However, there is this one ship that might be the perfect heartbreak (in my opinion): Destructivedeath. Ok, so this goes way back to the cpau, where we can find Geno and Reaper being shipped (or hinted as a ship, you tell me), and I find that Reaper being able to touch Geno just really nice. Now for the heartbreak. When Geno becomes Error, he essentially loses all his memories. If Reaper was to visit Geno while he was trapped in the Anti Void, it would be very likely that he would encounter Error on one of these visits. So now we have this dynamic of Reaper desperately trying to spark some memory of the two of them in Error, most likely yearning to touch someone again without the consequences of an untimely death, and Error, who continuously denies any relation he has with Reaper, unable to love him nor touch him for the sake of his haphephobia. I just find this ship so tragically romantic and beautiful at the same time, but really, Error would just end up ruining any ties he has/had with Reaper, so they wouldn't really end up that well together.

Errorfresh

Error and Fresh don't really get along, from what I know. Both Sanses are extremely selfish, with Fresh only taking actions that he sees as absolutely nessecary for survival. Both have no interest in romance at all (again, as far as I'm aware) and Error even goes out of his way to avoid Fresh because he is a parasite. The only way I see them being somewhat shipped together is if Fresh continually bugs Error, trying to befriend and gain his trust, just for the sake of wanting to possess him and the power Error has. Otherwise, this ship doesn't really seem possible.

Insomnia

Insomnia is an interesting case. I can see some ways in which Dream gets along with Error, and possible circumstances where he helps Error ease his haphephobia, but I find that's not going to be exactly the case. Similar to Destructivedeath, I can see Insomnia having the same concept of chasing after someone who cannot turn the other way, one where Dream tries and tries and tries to make Error a better person, or just better in general, thinking 'I can fix him', yet nothing works. I can see Dream's empathetic powers cause him to slowly fall in love with Error, too, which ends up with him chasing after Error eventually for love of him. Either that or Dream convinces himself that he can't afford to spend any more time with Error and walks away. This ship is nice depending on how you look at it, but the closest I'll ever see them is just knowing each other, like Ink.

Errormare

Next, I'll be discussing Errormare. From a (probably far distance) certain viewpoint, I can see where people come from when they say it's cute. Nightmare, being the Guardian of Negativity, is, in most aspects, a bad guy, and Error, being a Destroyer, would also be considered 'bad'. He and Error are often depicted enjoying evil endeavours and whatnot, but I don't think that would be accurate. Nightmare encourages the idea of not killing anyone because a dead person cannot produce Negativity, meanwhile Error destroys AUs, which hold countless lives, eradicating them from existence and therefore cutting off any production of Negativity, which, realistically, would piss Nightmare off. Error is not necessarily evil, he's sort of morally grey, I'd put him in the Chaotic Neutral category as he bases his actions on what he sees as 'correct', which does not mean everyone has to like what he's doing. Nightmare is more Chaotic Evil, because what he does is for selfish reasons, for the sake of self gain and power. Really, Nightmare and Error wouldn't get along.

Errorberry

The final ship I'll be talking about is Errorberry, not to be confused with Blueberror. Error and Blue have met before, but it has been made clear that Error does not like Blue. In fact, Blue's actions/attempts to help Error ended up with Error getting getting frustrated and abandoning him in the Anti Void. Along with Error's rejection of help, this could further strengthen my point about Destructivedeath and Insomnia, because just when Error seems like he is about to be convinced, his mind changed for supposedly the better, he avoids it, runs away because he refuses to believe it. Anyways, the only reason why Error kept Blue around for so long was for the sake of enterainment, and the only reason he didn't kill Blue was because he found Blue to be 'cute' (not in a romantic sense, Error has a general soft spot for cute things). In summary, Errorberry, to me, weren't made for each other.

Conclusion/ Author's note (yes, there is one)

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't mind any of these ships. I'm just trying to see things from a more canon standpoint. If I got any of my facts wrong, feel free to tell me! God, what am I doing with my life. Can I just use the excuse that this is a character study?

If you have any other ships you want me to look into, then I'd like to hear them! I don't really have anything better to do anyways.

Thanks for reading this far, if you did!

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thrawns-backrest · 2 years ago

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Thank you all for the feedback so far!! Chapter 3 is hallway done so enjoy this one in the meantime.

Title: Buried in Ice

Characters: Ronan, Ba'kif and others

Chapters: 2/?

Summary: Ronan adjusts to life with the Chiss when a sudden revelation leads him to realize that his fate is not as firmly in his hands as he'd thought it was.

___

Ronan used to think that having to endure Vanto’s insipid company was a punishment in and of itself.

Only he wasn’t so sure of it now.

Staring at the intricate golden pattern on his sheets, he contemplated whether to trace it with his finger again or just pull the sheet over his head and try and get a few more hours of sleep.

Even in a simple suite like this the Chiss still liked their luxury. They had an affinity for gold patterns and dark colors and this whole room looked like an illustration from some exotic picture book despite being nothing more than a low end unit in the low-ranking bureaucracy’s housing district.

He vaguely remembered Vanto telling him that things weren’t the same in the secondary worlds. Apparently this kind of all-encompassing splendor was reserved for Csilla and doled out more sparingly in other places. But for all its gold embroidered glory, the planet itself was utterly depressing.

For if he were to step out of his suite now, Ronan knew, the textured fabrics and crystal furnishings would quickly give way to metal and roughly hewn rock. The whole place was essentially a hole in the ground, the underbelly of a pompous façade the Chiss went to great lengths to keep under wraps.

More secrets and more things fettering him to this place, Ronan thought bitterly and closed his eyes in despair. The despondency of his circumstances warred with his boredom and he wondered how long it would be before he started throwing crystal ornaments at the walls for fun.

Four days.

It had been four days since Vanto had been whisked away on some mission with Ar’alani, one requiring a smaller ship and a correspondingly small crew, while Ronan was left to rot in Csaplar.

Four days since he’d last seen another human face.

And two weeks since he’d realized the direness of his situation.

The sheets under his fingers suddenly felt cold and he turned to lay on his back with a shuddering, almost panicked sigh. He was handling this whole thing poorly.

Despite the apparent hopelessness of it all, his mind had been hard at work, turning over all kinds of escape scenarios in his head, from commandeering a Chiss ship to collusion with the enemy and all of them had wound up at a logical dead end because he had nowhere near the necessary resources to pull them off. And that wasn’t even considering the fact that the Chiss had him under constant surveillance.

He had pleaded, bargained with whatever entity out there was listening for some miraculous opportunity to present itself but all of it had been in vain.

In the end, following hours of frustration and scheming, his sleep had begun to suffer.

The insomnia had in turn made way for exhaustion and exhaustion meant less mental fortitude to keep the mounting claustrophobia and paranoia at bay.

Even if he did return to the Empire, he’d concluded grimly, where would he go? In the unlikely case that the military took him back, Thrawn could easily hunt him down and deliver the punishment his people couldn’t when no one was looking. He wouldn’t even have to do it himself, Ronan thought cynically as he remembered the murderous look on Faro’s face.

He’d seen the ease with which Thrawn had brought Savit to the brink of madness. How hard could it be to instigate his own subordinates? Those same subordinates who were already jumping through hoops for him without a second thought.

(What kind of crew faced off against four Star Destroyers when their commander wasn’t even on board? Madness, it was complete madness…)

A knock at the door interrupted his thoughts and he forced himself into a half sitting position.

“Yes?”

“Supreme General Ba’kif requests your presence in his office.”

He frowned to himself. Then wondered for a moment if there hadn’t been some mistake. He had already spoken at length to Ba’kif, his de facto handler on Csilla.

He’d questioned Ronan on his past, his qualifications, his service under Thrawn and his time with the Ascendancy so far, all standard procedure so far as Ronan could tell. Ba’kif would have of course already had that information, be it from Ar’alani or Thrawn or even Vanto, but he was testing Ronan for discrepancies and trying to get a sense for his attitude and loyalties.

Ronan hadn’t bothered to try hiding where those lied. If Thrawn could flaunt his true allegiance like that, then so could he. The Chiss was siphoning off imperial resources, plain and simple, and while his pretended innocence could fool Vanto, it wouldn’t cut it for Ronan.

Shaking his head with a grumble, he made to get off the bed. He briefly considered asking whatever secretary had been saddled with delivering the message if he had the right address but then changed his mind. The least they could do was keep proper track of their guests. Especially if those guests were one of a kind.

“Very well, I will be there shortly,” he said, garbling the last few consonants and finding great satisfaction in the fact that he no longer gave a damn. Retreating footsteps were the only sign that the messenger had heard him and he sneered at the lack of etiquette as he shucked the lounge robe off his shoulders, relishing the swish of long luxurious fabric as he did.

It was with a curious sense of loss that he set it down on the bed and headed out in his uniform. The same drab set of pants and tunic the Empire punished its own rank and file with.

The trip to Ba’kif’s office was one of the few he’d memorized (seeing as most of the damned city was off limits to him) and could be made on foot. Far enough to keep him away from the capital’s more important dealings but close enough to keep an eye on him.

By the time he was stood in front of Ba’kif’s door, his mood hadn’t improved much. He swallowed the apathy down with a sigh and raised a hand to knock.

“Come in,” Ba’kif’s voice called and Ronan reached for the controls. Predictably, the hatch opened after entry had been granted from inside.

The sight of the Chiss’ snow white hair and uniform made him want to raise his chin and straighten his back on reflex. But that was just reflex and his true feelings were more on the petulant side as he dragged himself to the large burgundy desk at the far side of the room.

“General,” he greeted vapidly, not waiting for permission to lower himself into a seat. This was his third visit to this place and he’d stopped being impressed by it long ago.

Ba’kif himself was a different story.

Loathe as he was to admit it, Ronan couldn’t help a sense of respect for the Chiss sitting opposite him and watching him with intelligent eyes. He couldn’t tell if the man was on the older side or if his coloring was some biological quirk – Chiss biology was still a mystery to him – but he certainly had an air of authority about him.

“Well.” Ronan crossed his arms in front of him. “Why am I here today?”

Disrespectful. Blunt. He really didn’t care at this point.

Ba’kif raised a single silver eyebrow.

“A good day to you as well, Lieutenant,” he said with a surprising lack of bite. Ronan had expected some kind of reaction but the General seemed as relaxed as always, almost unbothered.

“I hope you’re settling in well?”

Ronan felt his lips thin. As if he had a choice.

“Well enough,” he grumbled and watched as the Chiss reached for the questis on his desk.

“Good, that’s good. You don’t lack for anything here?”

A ride home, Ronan’s mind supplied sarcastically but it must not have shown on his face or else Ba’kif didn’t care enough to notice.

“I called you here today, hoping you would indulge me.” The questis was pushed over to his side. “Please. Take a look.”

Ronan reached for the device almost tentatively, his eyes running over the blue Cheunh script as he pulled it to himself.

It was a report of sorts. Some long winded document on a recent feud between two families with different accounts and a summary of the events that had sparked the conflict along with other relevant information.

Ronan found his rhythm quickly enough, his eyes skimming over the familiar bureaucratic jargon with ease, filtering out buzzwords and turgid filler to get to the meat of the text. Some of the Cheunh words put up a fight but the general gist of it was simple enough.

Still, the text was lengthy and took a while to get through. During that time, he and Ba’kif sat in silence and Ronan almost regretted it when he got to the end and had to set the questis aside, bringing his eyes up to meet Ba’kif’s.

“Well?” He crossed and uncrossed his legs under the desk “What do you want from me?”

Ba’kif, who Ronan had the uncomfortable feeling had been observing him all this time, shrugged and waved a hand. “Let’s start with the basics. What can you tell me about it?”

Ronan threw a quick glance at the screen as he formulated his answer.

“The Thuf are trying to gain favor with the Irizi.”

“Oh?”

Ba’kif leaned forward.

“And what makes you think that.”

It was Ronan’s turn to shrug. “They’re allied with the Chadok who are in good standing with the Mitth and they like to play it that way. At least they’re obnoxiously vocal about it. But a small mine on a minor world can’t keep them happy for long and that vein is drying quickly from the looks of it.”

“Is it now?”

“They wouldn’t be so frantic about it otherwise. Meanwhile their supposed ally is seeing huge success on nearby worlds and it doesn’t sound like they want to share it with anyone. It looks like the Thuf are trying to get the Mitth to side with them but that’s ridiculous when you know that the Chadok are one of the Forty. Most likely the Thuf have some dirty laundry on the Chadok business operation and are blowing this thing out of proportion to prompt an inspection. Jumping ship and securing firm ground under their feet.”

“By humiliating the Mitth and ingratiating themselves with the Irizi.” Ba’kif nodded.

“And trying to look innocent in the process,” Ronan finished with a huff.

Same old political maneuvering, different alien packaging. Just as obnoxious as it had been in the Empire, he decided as he looked around the office, desperately wishing for a cup of caf. Not that Ba’kif would have any caf but the urge for it was there anyway.

Ba’kif himself had fallen silent, one of his hands stroking his beard as he stared at a point somewhere above Ronan’s shoulder.

“Interesting… Tell me, Lieutenant, you’re not feeling your best today, are you?”

Ronan flinched in surprise and glared at Ba’kif, feeling his defenses rise.

“I had a bad night,” he all but ground out. One of many, in fact, but Ba’kif didn’t need to know that.

“I see.” Ba’kif’s hand stopped its thoughtful stroking. “Sleep deprived and yet you still managed to untangle that whole convoluted mess from just skimming the report once. Rather impressive.”

Ronan went still at that, caught completely off guard by the compliment. His moth opened and closed a few times as he processed it before he felt the urge to lower his eyes to his lap.

“I’m good at administration.” He mumbled lamely.

“So you are.”

Silence stretched between them again, this one decidedly more awkward, and Ronan felt his nerves get the better of him as the last of his patience ran out. Ba’kif clearly wanted something from him and Ronan hated it when people were cryptic about their expectations.

Director Krennic, at least, had always been straightforward in that regard. A quality Ronan missed among so many others.

“If I may General, what is all this about?” He gave in finally, rubbing a hand over his temples. He could feel a headache forming under the skin and the desire to run and curl up under his thrice damned gold patterned sheets was growing stronger by the minute.

“I’m glad you asked,” Ba’kif answered without missing a beat and Ronan felt something shift in his demeanor. As if he’d been waiting for this from the moment Ronan stepped into his office.

“The Expansionary Defense Fleet is planning to open a new division,” Ba’kif continued. “It’s a move in response to the difficulties we’ve had with resolving political conflicts that arise in the military. As you can probably guess, those are brought up in front of the Syndicure and the resulting inquiries often take more time than we would prefer to waste on them.”

A flash of long suffering irritation crossed his face and Ronan almost caught himself sympathizing.

“As a result we want to create a department that deals specifically with mediating these issues. To ensure their speedy resolution.”

“And you’re telling me this because?”

Ba’kif held Ronan’s stare and Ronan felt his discomfort skyrocket.

“Because I want you,” Ba’kif said slowly, “To be part of it.”

___

taglist (drop me a line if you want to be added): @vibratingbonesbis

#thrawn #thrawn ascendancy #thrawn trilogy #thrawn treason #brierly ronan #ba'kif #thrawn books

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cr3ssent · 9 months ago

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INSOMNIA!!! THE SHIP WITH T WITI WHT THWITH THE THE UH DREAM SND AND AND ERROR RATE IT NEIOW OR IT’S THE BASEMENT FOR YOU AGAIN

"Jesus christ- uh- 2/10, I don't think the destroyer needs to be with dream-"

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spiceonion · 1 year ago

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I have this hc that,even if they enjoyed killing,the destroyers all suffer from some kind of night terrors or insomnia due to some subconcious issues. In all the manga panels with the destroyers they have heavy eyebags.

OH SHIT I JUST REALISED ABOUT THE EYEBAGS, AND ALSO THIS IS A PRETTY COOL HCBDHRHDHRJRH

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cyber-neptune · 2 years ago

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Creature

His name is Greg

#insomnia’s art tag☆#insomnia’s shit☆#I mixed one of those yellow chicken and a worm on a string #oc : Greg the destroyer of worlds ☆

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garbagefarm · 2 years ago

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Garbage Farm (#43)

2023-03-31, Garbage Farm session #43, spanning from Summer 15 Year 4 to Summer 27 Year 4

Cast:

me (@mothmute)

E.B. (@salamand3rin)

Kimi (@2kimi2furious)

Highlights include, but are not limited to:

Garbage himbo hubbies droning in unison: It’s summer... That means the house is full of flies.

NOT AGAIN

also don’t you guys clean up at all?

Flat possum...

(he’s playing possum)

(E.B. is going to jail)

I crack my knuckles and start completely rearranging the storage system.

It was an over-complicated mess with too many categories, and I’ve learned how to do better

also, the workbench is extremely good and should be the centerpiece

Kimi walks in on the girls fighting (Dwarf and Krobus), ‘til daddy Wizard had to step in

barely make it back to bed after working on fixing the storage all day

Baby!!!

Theophania Garbage!!

E.B. comes over an baptizes her using her watering can, as is tradition

Growing pains learning to use the partially-reorganized storage system mean me and E.B. eat shit staying out too late, Marlon found both of us face down in the mud

(I teleport to the desert by accident, a classic mistake)

the oak trees I planted last time have grown, I can start tapping them for the resin I need to rebuild my kegs

The seduction of Krobus......

me and Kimi happen to meet by chance in the secret woods

Pierre’s Prime Produce now looms over us. it’ll be fine, right?

E.B. got some cherry bombs for me, left them in my fridge

Elliott tells me he couldn’t be happier :’)

(gently probing the skulls....)

should we keep the storage chest full of bones? (hell yes, bone chest)

Kimi finds some garbage cranberry sauce

we resign ourselves to the necessity of building a slime hutch

Pizza is a big boy now!!

strange sound in the night...........

Elliott tells me that Bartholomew called him da-da :)

blueberry harvest is here, that should deal with Pierre’s Prime Produce, right?

nevermind, he sucks! and only wants veggies! and blueberries are fruit!

I find Haley taking photos in the forest, she tries to ride one of Marnie’s cows and falls into the mud (but she takes it in stride)

There’s a weird alien egg thing on the farm!

What’s a little accidental horse theft between friends?

Marlon heard about our slime hutch and came by to get us started

he claims a slime took out his eye. how??

I got a letter from Krobus! It had the recipe for Dark Signs, which I’m now going to use everywhere

E.B. got a catfish from Linus

The Garbage Ducks are stubborn, and refuse to swim

Robin bombs Pizza’s outgrown crib

KIMI FINDS THE PRISMATIC SHARD WE NEED

I get stuck seeing Sam’s band, Goblin Destroyer

Penny calls me “an honorary member of the band”, that’s gotta be one of the most savage burns in Stardew

they weren’t very good, and I went home with my goblin fully intact

Big melon is here!!

aaand the slime hutch is gone. phew

Kimi is torn between cashing the prismatic shard in for the sword, or donating it to complete the museum

Kimi, I’ve already done that, I can just buy you one

E.B. wants one too, if it’s not cost prohibitive

Kimi wants one only if it is

Pizza has insomnia :(

new cow is born, Snurtie!

Museum is complete!! My head fills with thoughts of Garbage...

Kimi is Wild Possum’s favorite

I killed a frost jelly, and Marlon is very pleased

running into Kimi in the storage shed, both out too late to make it back, RIP

Time for some exit explosions

“gptte,”

E.B. was knocked unconscious.....

NEXT TIME:

oops, we forgot to take a picture with the big melon!

finish Pierre’s Prime Produce with some of the radishes, we’re bound to get enough, right?

Moonlight Jellies

Planting for fall!!

buncha cranbs, buncha punkins,

probably gonna plant a buncha other stuff too

Deluxe the ducks’ coop?

maybe if we add more ducks, they’ll be more likely to swim

I wanna learn about burglary......

I might get into some coffee-making around my house......

#stardew valley #garbage farm

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prince902kumar · 1 month ago

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Shilajit Resin & Ashwagold Supplements by Nutriherbs: Unlocking the Power of Nature

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#shilajit #shilajit original #shilajit resin #ashwagandha shilajit #ayurvedic himalayan shilajit resin

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