#insert some deep sea girl joke here

[sigulary]

Same hair!

[Image description: Digital illustration featuring Hatsune Miku jumping with a pokeball on one hand and petting a shiny Milotic (Pokemon) with the other. Milotic's body curls around her, and colorful bubbles float around them. Miku wears a white shirt, a black skirt, a black jacket on top of it, yellow socks that match Milotic's tail, sneakers, fingerless gloves and a black and yellow visor cap. End description]

[kingofkingdom-archive]

paradiso - part one

Pairing: young!Javier x fem!reader

Part ONE (of 5)

Rating: Teen

Summary: This will be a 5+1, short but sweet fic about you and Javi. He's an American student and you're an Italian heiress - your love is young, fun, and bittersweet. Lots of romance and fluff ahead.

Warnings: Smoking, tooth-rotting fluff, mention of alcohol

Word count: 1.8k

A/N: I needed something to distract me from finals week, so you all get this. :) I saw a tiktok about Pedro in like an old-money Italian aesthetic and the idea of it just would not leave me alone! Very much my ideal romance situation tbh. Anyways enjoy, the next part is partly written but no promises on when it'll be up. As always, no use of Y/N and please do lmk what you think! :)

The first time you kissed him, you could taste the champagne he’d had earlier that night. Not enough to get drunk, or even really buzzed, but enough to leave his lips and tongue flavorful under your own.

His strong hand was wrapped around your waist, keeping you close, fingers steady over the thin fabric of your dress. Javi held you like this often - from lunches on your parents’ boat to strolling casually through the piazza, he had definitely adopted the Italian tendency to show public affection through touch. All your male friends here do it, but with him it’s different.

Javi is so very different.

Tonight he looks even more like a dashing prince than usual. His dark hair is perfectly messy and his white shirt is unbuttoned just enough, his leather shoes shiny and understated. You’d smiled when you noticed his shoes - they’re the first nice pair he’d been able to afford while living here.

You met him four months ago, when spring was ending and summer soon approaching. He arrived early for his studies abroad, an American political sciences major in the heart of Florence.

Hardly a penny to his name, on a meal plan and receiving a generous scholarship or two, Javi had no business flirting with you. He did it anyway, and you found yourself charmed by his roguish smile and kind eyes. He paid for your gelato, like a typical American gentleman would, and bought some of his own. He ordered the same flavors as you. He hasn’t tried anything different since.

As you kiss him, the sea wind sweeps over the two of you on the secluded terrace where you stand, causing goosebumps to flutter over your skin. You shiver, pressing closer to Javi’s warmth.

He breaks the kiss, looking down at you with a concerned crease between his brows.

“You cold?” he asks, voice rough and deep in a way you don't recognize.

You can’t help but smile at him. He’s so handsome, looking at you like this. Holding you close. “Only a little. You’re warm enough for both of us.”

“This dress,” he murmurs, eyes flitting down to look at your lips. His fingers toy with your dress’s low backline where his hand rests beneath your shoulder blades. “No wonder you’re chilly.”

When your parents first met Javi, they were skeptical. They thought he was taking advantage of you, that he’d insert himself into your life for your wealth and your name.

He’d spent the past four months convincing them otherwise. Now your mother loves him and your father smiles at his jokes, which is something that can’t be said for many people. You can count on one hand the number of people who have made your father laugh, and Javi’s one of them.

He wants to join the FBI, or the CIA. One of the two, you could never get the acronyms straight. He told you about how there’s rigorous training, both physical and professional, to even be considered. Javi keeps himself in good shape for this reason, though your cook’s fine meals have added a bit of softness to his midsection. He complains about it, but you secretly love it. He’s so strong and disciplined that it’s lovely to see just a hint of vice in his features.

You run a hand up his bicep, feeling the muscles that he keeps hidden beneath his shirt.

“Do you like it?” you ask demurely. You bought the dress last week with the express purpose of looking good for him.

Javi takes his hand from your hip and places it on your cheek, his touch tender and gentle.

“You always look beautiful. Especially tonight.”

The party’s for one of your friends from school. She’s moving to the UK to continue her studies and this is her last big hurrah. You���d been invited, with the option for a plus-one, and Javi was the obvious choice.

You’d felt the gazes of the girls in attendance on you and Javi when you both arrived. He’s a few years older than you are, but you know they’re looking because they’ve never seen him before. He’s not part of the rotation of wealthy Florentine boys they all seem to cycle through like clockwork. He’s a stranger, and most importantly, he’s got you on his arm.

The music plays in the distance. Voices float up through the evening air, laughing and exuberant.

You lean into his touch, eyes closing against the comfort you feel with your cheek in his palm.

This must be what heaven feels like.

Javi had taken it slow with you. He earned your friendship before anything else, chatting with you about life and TV and his favorite sports teams back home. He told you about Texas, though when you expressed a desire to visit his hometown, he’d scoffed, calling the place a ‘shithole’.

You still want to visit, someday. Shithole or not.

Perhaps your friendship was the reason things did not progress very quickly between you. You knew he found you attractive and you most definitely felt the same, but for the longest time it just didn’t feel right to try and move things along.

There’d be moments, however, when you wished so desperately that he was yours it almost physically hurt.

One such moment was late one afternoon, on the deck of your family boat. You’d gotten out of the water first and you stood there, watching, as he emerged from the waves in his short swim trunks, the synthetic material clinging to his body ever so perfectly.

You’d seen the outline of… well. You’d seen the outline of something big, something that made you blush and look away, distracting yourself with drying your hair.

Another of these moments was an unremarkable Friday morning spent in one of your favorite bookshops, not too far from Javi's student apartment. You'd been browsing the shelves as he stood outside to smoke. Before long, you found a few paperbacks that looked interesting, and you paid for them with a kind smile to the elderly gentleman working at the register.

You'd exited with a "grazie!" and that's when you'd noticed Javi was speaking to someone, eyes bright and posture relaxed as he exhaled smoke through his nose.

He smiled at you the moment you exited the shop, and as you walked over, you listened to their conversation.

Javi was speaking to the stranger in Spanish. You recognized the sound of it, but could not understand it, having learned English and French and Arabic in your youth.

The other man, older with a salt-and-pepper beard, glanced over to you and then back at Javi. You stood beside your friend, books tucked safely under your arm.

"¿Esta es tu novia, Javier?"

The words caused Javi to blush, but he covered it by taking a drag from his cigarette.

"No, aún no. Algún día pronto."

It was the first time you'd heard him speak Spanish. The words rolled off his tongue with such ease that you couldn't help but glance up at him, intrigued by this new lilt to his voice. You wanted to hear more of it.

Javi snaked his hand around your back to your hip, fingers tucking into the belt loops on your jeans, and he pulled you into his side. You went easily, the motion a familiar one.

But something about hearing him converse in his first language, combined with the feeling of his firm hand on your hip, made something inside your heart shift. It was a small moment, miniscule in the grand order of things. It meant so very much to you.

Javi’s compliment makes you smile softly, his gaze full of such tenderness that it makes your heart ache. You put a hand on his chest, your cool palm a stark contrast to his furnace of a pectoral.

“You don’t look too bad yourself, Peña.”

He chuckles, smiling, his breath a short burst across your face that makes your hair flutter.

Javi's always been good at avoiding praise. "I look the same as always, hermosa."

You run a hand up his shoulder and neck to tangle in his dark curls, warm at the base of his skull. He smells like the cologne you'd helped him pick out - something from a small shop he'd never have found on his own, something woody and deep and fragrant. It was mostly selfish, that shopping trip, because all it makes you want to do is bury your nose in the collar of his shirt where the aroma is strongest. You think you could breathe in that scent for the rest of your life and never get tired of it.

"Exactly," you murmur, glancing over his shoulder at the glittering coastline and then back up to him. "You always look handsome."

It's impossible for him to hide his blush this close. "Yeah?" he asks, like he doesn't believe you. Like he wants to hear you say it again.

"Yes. Even when you wear those ugly sports shirts.”

He makes a face like he’s offended, and you laugh. “Hey, you can never go wrong with a Cowboys jersey.”

You smile and lean up to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth. It seems as though now that you’ve started, you’re trying to make up for all the times you haven’t kissed him.

Javi goes quiet, looking at you like you’re the most beautiful girl in the world. You decide to open your heart just a bit more to him - it must be in the air, because something about the night is making your want of him that much stronger.

“I thought you were handsome the moment I saw you in the gelato shop," you tell him, thinking back on that day.

Usually Americans tended to annoy you, never conscious of local etiquette and manners, always too loud and disruptive - but Javi was so sweet. His brown eyes had glimmered at you like jewels, his lips quirked in a smile that gave life to a thousand butterflies in your stomach.

He'd sat with you for over an hour, listening to you like he'd known you your whole life. The warm sun gave his skin a glow that you remember clearly to this day. Long after you both had finished your food, he was there, as if he had all the time in the world for you.

Javi presses another soft kiss to your lips, slow and mesmerizing, before drawing back again.

"You looked so beautiful," he murmurs, nose brushing against yours. "I never thought you'd give me the time of day."

You can't help but smile. "I knew I'd regret it if I didn't."

It feels like the two of you are on that balcony for the whole of the evening, the blissful joy of finally admitting your feelings - and having them reflected like a mirror in him - taking precedence over all the celebrating going on below you.

Eventually, however, you must return. You walk back to the crowd and one of your good friends gives you a look like she knows exactly where you just were. A blush rises to your cheeks, but when Javi loops a casual, more-than-friendly arm around your waist, you find you don't care all that much about what your friends think.

[refriedweeb]

CAUGHT ME BY SURPRISE JUST LIKE THE FIRST TIME (SHINSOU + READER DAYS AT UA)

A/N: don’t mind me, just self-inserting myself into UA’s days as a student bc I love Shinsou and Hawks and I love the quirk I’ve given to myself in the UA universe and honestly I’m just a simp. (I might make this a part of a series just like I am for the Hawks one bc I have problems)

Prompt: Y/N is a transfer student to 1-A’s Hero Course from an American school and known for the power behind her quirk. Shinsou is yet again the subject of some annoying trolls at school. What happens when the two cross paths?

Word Count: 1,683

He was beyond used to the subjected brutality of teenagers since he had transferred into UA’s General Studies course. All of his life, Shinsou had been told that he couldn’t be a hero because of his quirk. That he was a danger and had the makings of being a villain rather than a hero. The one thing he was so determined to be, according to his peers, was one thing he could never be. It was easy for the lot of them to say when they had much more heroic quirks that could make their climb to heroism much easier than his. But after his fight with Izuku Midoriya at the sport’s event, Shinsou was more determined than ever to make sure he became a hero.

The general negative attitude towards he and his quirk had lessened since then, but hadn’t ceased to exist. There were still a couple of other students who always thought it was an opportune time to ask him how the League of Villains were, if he’d picked his villain name, and so on. None of this was new to him, and Shinsou had basically come to blur it out of his mind. At one point it had bothered him, had really almost made the indigo haired boy lean into the idea of being a villain. After all, if they wanted him to be one so bad, then who was he to deny them that privilege? It’d been his fight with Izuku that had shifted some of Shinsou’s thinking, reigniting a passion to get into the hero course because it was one he deserved to be in. Because he deserved to be a hero. Wanted desperately to be a hero. 

Shinsou craned his neck from side to side and rolled sunken eyes. “Yeah man, maybe you’re the one who is telling the League where class 1-A is going to be all the time.” One of the boys who had made it his mission to make Shinsou’s life miserable for the day spoke. He was from the business course, the black haired kid egging him on from the support course. “You’re just as responsible for All Might’s retirement as Bakugou is!” Came the snickering. 

His upper lip curled, his attention redirected. “How long did it take you to come up with that one? A couple hours?” How easy it would be to just use his quirk right then and there. Brainwash the assholes who tried to make him the butt of their miserable attempts at insults and jokes. But that was what they wanted. It was what they expected of him because they already had it made up in their minds what type of person he was. Shinsou had been about to continue, but it was the black haired student who shoved his friend.

“Dude, look, there she is!”

“Shit,” the other student exclaimed, taking a step back from Shinsou. 

Curious, his eyes followed to where the students were looking. And there you were. Your legs looked like they ran on for miles in the UA uniform, though you weren't any taller or shorter than most of the other girls in the school. It was obvious to anyone that you were new at the school, your uniform still too nicely pressed and wrinkle-free to have been well worn like the rest of theirs were. Shinsou had never seen you before, it was a face and definitely a body he would have remembered. Were you an older student? Had the reason he’d never seen you before been the simplest fact that he hadn’t ever paid attention or felt the need to? Shinsou wracked his brain for where he had seen you before, if at all. But no. He didn’t know you. Yet, the mysterious pull of your aura was something that had drawn in him almost immediately. It wasn’t that your aura was dark, or spoke of evil. It spoke of mystery and misunderstanding, a set of cased emotions he understood very well. Indigo eyes remained fixated on you as you came closer, and he tried to get his heart under control when you looked his way.

Locked eyes with him. Most of the time people who did that with him looked away immediately after. But not you. You...kept your eyes on him until you were standing in front of the trio of boys. Only then you looked around, from the person you assumed was Shinsou Hitoshi, to the other boys you didn’t know. Didn’t care to get to know because their reputations hadn’t proceeded them for any various reasons. “Hi,” you said, head tipped to the side. You introduced yourself, shared your name with them though you were really only speaking to Shinsou. “Am I...interrupting something? I’m supposed to be in the 1-A Hero course but I can’t seem to find the classroom.”

“You? In the hero course? We know...” the black haired kid started out, and your eyebrows pulled together as he fumbled his words. “We know what your quirk is! No wonder you’re looking for him!”

Quirk? Shinsou stood up a little straight, his interest caught (and not because he wanted to feel like he was much taller than you and could defend you if you needed, though he wasn’t sure that was the case here) as you rolled your eyes. Not everyone got their quirk villainized right off the bat. That was a trophy that only Shinsou had held for some time. 

“Then, if you know how bad my quirk is,” you continued, arms crossed, hip jutted out, seething attitude. “Wouldn’t it be smart to not catch lip with me?”

Shinsou thought he was in love. 

The other two boys grimaced, looked you up and down with disdain. “Not our business to help the freaks. Ask the only other freak here in the school to help you get around.” They looked at Shinsou, their grimaces only growing. You narrowed your eyes at them. Shinsou stared at you. 

With one last hateful look, the two boys split and left you and Shinsou alone. He didn’t know how words worked anymore. There wasn’t a thought in Shinsou’s head that made coherent sense and suddenly he felt very out of his league. You, however, played it as cool as a cucumber. Confident and seemingly dangerous? The sea of mystery surrounded you still as you turned back to look at him. From the get go you thought he had the prettiest lilac eyes you had ever seen. But that wasn’t the reason Aizawa Sensei had told you to keep an eye out for Shinsou Hitoshi, no. Easy on the eyes was your own assessment. Aizawa Sensei had told you about Shinsou for the reason that you shared a similar quirk. That people looked down on you for something you hadn’t even been able to pick. And while you could give off that air of confidence and nonchalance, it was terrifying to be in a new school, in a new country, where your reputation did proceed you and people had already started rumors about what type of person they thought you were. From what Aizawa had told you...Shinsou was someone that you could lean into for support like that.

Rough around the edges, not someone who was the easiest to talk to...in Aizawa’s own words...but someone who would understand what you’d been through. And while you wanted to play it cool, you were terrified of being in a place so foreign where you were out of your depth with people who had known each other for so long already.

You turned your gaze to Shinsou, who stared at you still. “Freaks, huh?” You swallowed back any sound of uncertainty or doubt.

“Freaks.” Shinsou said, crooked smile softening his hard glare. “Let me guess, Aizawa sent you to come find me to give you a grand old tour.” His voice was dry, grating. 

“Something like that. More along the lines of make sure Hitoshi doesn’t get bullied by people and just take it.” You lifted a brow, hoping he’d take the joke you’d just made as that: a joke. 

His eyes narrowed, and you were sure you’d misstepped in assuming he’d think it was funny. You braced yourself from snarky comment, but he only looked you up and down, his tongue tucked into the corner of his mouth like he was deep in thought. And to be honest, he was. Here you’d come with a trumpet horn of an announcement by the two punks who’d scampered off. Apparently, Aizawa thought he had something to gain by knowing you and vice versa. You weren’t afraid of him, or of speaking to him at that matter, and it was a sense of relief Shinsou didn’t know he’d gone his entire school career without. It only made him more curious about what quirk you were hiding, but he figured that wasn’t exactly introductory protocol. He let out a low breath through his nostrils, tipping a head of thick indigo hair towards the classrooms. 

What Shinsou wouldn’t admit was that you’d had him enraptured so easily. Maybe your quirk was just like his, only better. He felt brainwashed, enthralled by the mystery that was you and all he didn’t know about you. When Aizawa would ask him about it later, he’d deny any interest in you outside of fleeting curiosity. It’d be an answer that would earn him a sidelong glance from his mentor, but it’d be one that he’d insist was true. So he looked you up and down once more, did his best to hide his blush. “Well then, freak, come on.” The books he had in his hands rested against his hip, and you had to admit he looked rather...handsome. If handsome was something a teenager could think about another teenager without being too vulgar. “Class 1-A is going to have a field day with you. Get ready, all they want to do is make friends.”

The way you crinkled your nose, and the way he couldn’t help but do the same told him all he needed to know about the relationship that was bound to bloom between you. 

[sailingintothenight]

“HAPPY.” T.H. Imagine.

Tom meets a little angel and you, her mom.

A/N: After reading some stories about single mom x Tom that were totally adorable, I wanted to write my own story that ended up being longer than expected. I hope you like it, please give it a try. Thank you! (And If you have time, listen to Kim Taeyeon and her song Happy :)

With a long sigh, Tom closes the door to the room and falls to the floor, because the pain on his shoulders is as heavy as the whole world.

The melon-colored walls and wooden flooring gives the hospice a warm touch, but the air in his lungs is cold when Tom takes a deep breath that comes in, trying to find spaces to fill in his soul and empty body. There is no one around him, no paparazzi, no interviewers, no fans screaming his name, no excitement of being a movie star who shines for his talent and charm. His heart beats fast against his chest, like an animal that hit the cage's bars that keeps him prisoner: it is fierce because he is afraid, and he feels as if he were falling into a spiral of madness in complete solitude. His hands tremble because the self-control slips from them like the sand between his fingers, fingers that he uses to brush his somewhat long and wavy hair, pulling on the ends because the pain is a reminder that he is still alive.

"Why are you so sad?"

The world lets him hear a voice that seems covered in cotton candy, as sweet as the 4-year-old (soon to be 5) girl in front of him. Tom blinks, confused, watching the infant's small face and the way her eyes look back at him until it finds his sad soul. Her eyes are dark blue like the calm waters of the sea, blue like the summer sky, alive and full of curiosity behind her long lashes: two hidden treasures that were a gift from her father. But the color of those eyes contrasts beautifully with her chocolate brown hair that falls past her shoulders and her white jacket with bunny ears hanging behind, while a melody is heard from the headphones hanging around her neck, a feminine voice that sings in another language, but whose voice is of a warm color that even Tom can perceive.

"Hello there, angel." Tom smiles feigning courage, and stops being a defeated body on the ground to change his posture and squat to be at the (emotional) level of a girl. "What are you doing here alone? Where is your mum?"

Marley smiles sideways, the corner of her lip curling up as her right eyebrow sinks in with the depth of her thoughts: she's skeptical, because she knows something is wrong with him.

“My mom says that if you smile very, very big, you will feel happy immediately. It is a psych... psychological fact.” Marley struggles to say that word, because she is still 4 years old and her bag of words, as she calls it, is still limited.

Tom smiles slightly, not with happiness because something is pressing on his chest still, but because he’s amazed at the intelligence of a little girl who wasn’t older than 5 years old. And suddenly, a tiny, positive feeling runs through him with a super speed and leaves him as fast as it came, but Tom discovers what it is right away and clings to it with firm hands while his eyes, that are like chocolate, shine with the curiosity of a small child, too.

"Oh yeah? Your mommy must be very smart then.”

Marley shrugs casually.

"She reads a lot." She says it as a fact, and her clasped hands in front of her make her look like someone bigger's action, or so Tom thinks, taking in every detail of her without realizing it. "Would you help me with something? I can't reach the vending machine and I want a yogurt.”

"Oh, sure." He replies, still a little surprised by a baby's choice of words, and soon as he gets up, he feels ashamed of himself as he remembers that vocabulary seemed like a difficult word for him. "I'm Tom by the way. What is your name, angel?”

"Marley. Marley Rose."

Marley smiles at him, throwing her head back so that she can look him in the eye, because Tom is taller than she is. Tom can't help but smile, and can't help but feel the tickle in his left hand as Marley catches his to guide him - which gives him a warm feeling. She leads the way down the hallway that is quiet so late at night, towards the empty living room and to the gigantic machine that is challenging for her and her short stature.

"Marley, where's your mum?" Tom asks again, because although he’s a good person, he can't help but feel concerned about seeing a little girl alone.

Standing next to him, Marley looks at him and the light from the machine makes the corner of her face shine.

"She is with my Grandma. She gave me this dollar to buy something downstairs, but the machine doesn't have chocolate yogurt!”

"No way!" Tom says, speaking a little louder, making a slightly high-pitched voice to imitate her: and it makes her laugh a sweet tune, like the sound that keeps coming out of her headphones. "Let me help you get your yogurt."

Tom takes the bill from her small hand and inserts it into the machine, he presses the number indicated on the screen, and then the machine pushes the yogurt bottle towards the opening at the bottom.

"You did it. Thanks, Tom!" Marley presses herself against his body in a quick hug before reaching her prize, happy.

Tom smiles; he cannot help it when he sees her open her bottle, because she is so sweet, so innocent, and because something is recomposed inside him by feeling the pure aura of a girl who seems to hide in her words, the wisdom of a much older person.

"Come on, angel. Let's go to find your mum."

Marley nods, the bottle still against her lips as her small hand reaches for Tom's, and again, she guides him down the hall to the gray-door elevators on the other side of that floor. But the questions that Tom has in his head disappear the instant those metal doors open under the sound of a ding, announcing the encounter with a person on the other side, a young woman who looks at him under the seconds that seems eternal to him, as if the world had stopped in his favor only to make that moment last more than a few seconds.

"Mommy!"

Marley's voice is even sweeter because she recognizes her mom, the being who gave her life and, who loved her, more than anything in the world. Tom watches you get out of the elevator and it's then that new questions appear in his blank mind, questions that, while are quite obvious, are quite difficult to assimilate.

"Marley Rose Daniels, you had me worried." But you sigh in relief, because your fears leave your body the moment you see her again. At that very moment, it is when you realize who is the young man who is holding your daughter's hand, because you know that he has been walking those hallways for a while, but that is a story for later. "Hi, thanks for taking care of her, please don't think I'm a bad mother."

"No, I could never-" Tom says, and then, he realizes he's speechless: because you look so young, so pretty too, and right there, Tom understand why Marley got such a sweet face. "Don't worry about it."

"That's good. Thanks." You say, slightly embarrassed, and your gaze that falls to the ground meets your daughter's eyes. "You pinky promised me that you wouldn't go away too far, Marley."

"But mommy, there was no chocolate yogurt downstairs." And at that moment, Marley lets go of Tom's hand, her head held high as she approaches you because she is not afraid of you, nor the reprimand that never comes, and instead, her hand takes yours and she looks at you with her warm gaze and her eyes with the color that some considered cold. “Sorry.”

"Stop obsessing over that yogurt."

"Never!" Marley pretends to be upset and frowns, taking a firm stance that makes you chuckle, and that makes Tom chuckle, too, because that interaction between you and her makes him happy when he realizes that you two are only joking, as if you were best friends. "Mommy, this is Tom, Tom, she is my mommy."

And you chuckle again, because, although your name is not mommy, it makes you feel proud to be called that way.

"I'm her mommy, but my name is (y/n)... Daniels." You extend your hand towards him, and a tickle runs down his hand before taking yours.

"Tom Holland."

"I know." You smile, rocking his hand in yours, because his hand is still closed, still intertwined with yours.

"You know? Oh.” Tom chuckle shyly because the movie star title still makes him blush, and is a thought that prevents his brain from noticing that his hand is still taking yours while his heart is still wrapped in the warmth of your fingers tips. "Oh, sorry."

"Don't worry about it." You smile, giving him his past words as you clear your throat, so that your next words don't tremble under your shyness. "Well... I think it's time to go home."

"Yeah." Marley and Tom respond: he, in a whisper coming from between his lips before he can stop it.

You chucke, but pretend not to hear it as you press the button on the wall, the metal doors opening instantly under the usual sound. With Marley's hand in yours, you walk in with Tom behind you, taking his place inside the little spot next to her, but when you try to push the button to the basement parking lot and he, the button to the first floor, your hands meet inches away from touching again, bringing nervous laughter.

"Sorry." You both say at the same time, and the timing makes you giggle again.

But with the floors selected, the doors close and your chest clenches painfully, as if the closed doors cut off the air that you can still breathe.

"Don't be scared, mommy." Marley says sweetly, but her hand on yours gives you courage.

"Thanks, baby." And when you look up, Tom is too slow to take his eyes off of you, and they reflect the question you can easily see in his tender gaze. "I'm scared of elevators."

"It's okay." Tom smiles, as if he wants to give you courage, too. "We'll be out in a sec–"

But his words are cut off like the lights that suddenly go out when the elevator stops abruptly, giving way to the emergency lights that only project their light on your most absurd fear after seeing so many accidents on television. Your throat closes painfully, as the air becomes hotter than normal, and for a second, you stay where you are, your hand holding your daughter's as Tom approaches the wall to press the emergency button.

"It must be because of the rain." He says, in an attempt to keep you calm. "Don't panic, the lights will come back in a moment."

"I hope so." You whisper, suddenly weak, fearful.

"Don't be scared, mommy." Marley hugs you, and her small hands cling to the side of your body, like the heat that she shares with you as the courage she gives you to keep you calm. "But can we sit down? I'm tired."

"I'm so sorry, honey, you should be asleep by now." You say and take the bottle of her hand, sitting on the floor and placing yourself in a comfortable position so that she can sleep on top of you.

"Tom, come, sit next to us." She says, and Tom smiles, and although he feels shy, he sits next to you against the cold ground. Protected by her mom's heat, Marley smiles, her head resting at your chest height, and she hides her eyes behind her eyelids that close with the fatigue that her small body can no longer bear.

"She's beautiful." Tom whispers after a few seconds later, and his gaze stays fixed on yours so you can see that he's serious, and that he's somehow, he’s talking about her inner beauty, too. "She's really smart too."

"Thank you." You whisper back, maintaining somehow, the pleasant silence. "I do my best to raise her, I really do, but sometimes I feel like she raises me."

Tom smiles.

"She told me that smiling makes you happy, that it was a psychological fact. I didn't know that such a little girl could pronounce that word. I can't even say vocabulary.”

You chuckle.

“She is 4 years old but talks like a woman sometimes. And when she talks to my best friend on the phone, I swear they can talk for hours. I think it was not a good idea to teach her what Kpop was, because they both don't stop talking about it. Sophia even bought her an Ipod.”

"Oh yeah, I totally understand you..." Tom says, feeling a strange joy at noticing that you have one thing in common. "Danielle, my mate's girlfriend is crazy about kpop too.”

"Yes, I know..." You sigh, relieved to be accompanied in the dark situation. “It looks like we will be here for a while so... Yogurt?"

Your outstretched hand holding the bottle makes him see you're serious, and Tom smiles unable to refuse the gesture, so he takes it, his fingers brushing yours along the way, giving it an electrifying feeling.

"Wow..." He says after drinking a little. “I get why Marley is so obsessed with this. This is really good!"

You smile, and something inside you breaks: setting aside the pain, maybe it wasn't a bad idea to have moved to London.

[blue-eyes-tattoos]

Fic Recs - first half of 2020 I

Given the past months’ circumstances I’ve had lots of time to read so here are my first half of 2020 fic recs. It’s a good mix of old and new I’d say.

Starting with novel length fics (> 50k):

The Recklessness In Water by LarryOn | @larryonsimon

(E, 51k, lifeguard!Harry, unemployed!Louis)

Louis Tomlinson is miserable. He's stuck on a family vacation at a lake cabin in New Hampshire when all he wants to do is bemoan his sorry existence and wallow in his sweatpants. As if the humidity and mosquitos weren't bad enough, he becomes the singular target of an obnoxious lifeguard named Harry.

Live A Thousand Lifetimes by Layne Faire | @laynefaire

(E, 58k, Ziam, Future fic, Canon compliant, exes to lovers, angst with a happy ending)

It’s 2025. After secretly writing and producing their first album in ten years, One Direction is weeks away from releasing their first new single and announcing a world tour. With the whirlwind about to begin again, Liam re-evaluates the last ten years - the fame, the money, the people who changed his life forever - and the person who walked away.

Untamed Hearts by Layne Faire | @laynefaire

(E, 69k, Ziam, enemies to friends to lovers, pining, angst, surfer!Liam, artist!Zayn, they’re all students though, side larry)

It could have been the heat of the summer sun; it might have been the silvered sheen of an early harvest moon. If he dug deep enough, Liam could find every reason ever needed to explain away what happened. In the end, though, it all came down to two meddling friends, a touch of Prince, a bit of Keats, and the moon over the ocean. Its a recipe for disaster. Or love. Probably love.

Turning Page by purpledaisy | @daisyharry

(M, 68k, famous/non-famous, famous!Harry, non-famous!Louis (kind of), football player!Louis)

AU: Harry Styles tries to get lost in a place he’s never been.  Louis Tomlinson has been perfecting the art of being lost for years. What they don’t expect to find is each other.

To The Ends Of The Earth by stylinsoncity

(M, 68k, Canon compliant, love/hate, angst)

During a yearlong hiatus, Louis visits Harry at his cabin in Idaho, where long-buried feelings ignite like the fire keeping them warm.

Fall Into Your Gravity by zarah5 | @zarah5

(E, 74k, famous/non-famous, mistaken identity, based on the German movie ‘Single By Contract’)

AU. In which Harry is an overnight pop sensation and Louis steals plants, Zayn pulls Liam's proverbial pigtails and Niall's really just pleased there are more girls for him.

Nothing But You On My Mind by nonsensedarling | @absoloutenonsense

(E, 84k, Prince Harry Styles, PR manager!Louis, enemies to lovers, Royalty AU, there’s a great plot twist btw)

Louis Tomlinson is a PR manager hired to improve the image of royal bad-boy Prince Harry Styles. Unfortunately for him, that means being faced with the Prince's constant innuendos, incessant dirty jokes, and relentless flirting. Louis just wants to make it to Princess Gemma's coronation; once she's crowned Queen, his contract is up and he never has to see the Prince again.

The Murmur Of Yearning by MediaWhore | @mediawhorefics

(M, 93k, Historical AU, slow burn)

Four years ago, Harry Styles was forced into a marriage of convenience to enrich and ally both his and his promised's families. The sudden, and slightly suspicious, death of the Marquess of Haxshire, however, brings great disturbance to Crescentfield Hall and, as his late's husband's closest male relative, Harry unexpectedly finds himself the head of a family he never felt he belonged to. Between a meddling distant cousin hellbent on inserting himself in Harry’s life, his wicked and mistrustful mother-in-law and his late husband’s advisors refusing to help or take him seriously, Harry struggles in the fight to keep what he’s earned and make the Estate finally feel like home. Luckily, he doesn’t stand completely alone and finds himself an unlikely ally in Mr Tomlinson, the elusive Land Stewart who has been taking care of the property in the shadows for years. Louis Tomlinson is caring, patient, and unlike everyone else, he doesn’t seem to think Harry committed a murder.

Paint Me In A Million Dreams by green_feelings | @greenfeelings

(M, 113k, fake relationship, hate to love, Hollywood AU)

Harry's one of Hollywood's biggest actors, has made a name for himself in prestigious films and lives the life of a superstar. There's just one thing missing to make it picture-perfect, but the one Harry's in love with is completely out of reach for him. Enter Louis, one of Hollywood's biggest actors himself, who just came out of the closet and taps new genres in the industry. When Louis sacks the role Harry auditioned for in Scorsese's next big film, their irrational feud starts. Who could have guessed it would get even worse when for promo season, their teams decide to present them as a couple for publicity? In short, Harry's in love with someone and doesn't care about dating anyone else, Louis never felt home in L.A., Liam writes love songs for someone he shouldn't write love songs to, and Niall makes everything better with good food.

Bitter Tangerine by purpledaisy | @daisyharry

(M, 120k, lovers to exes to enemies to friends to lovers, slow burn)

AU: Nine months after they break up, a twist of fate brings Harry and Louis back together at Christmas.

Empty Skies by green_feelings | @greenfeelings

(E, 134k, band AU, angst, hate, pining, and also kinda famous/non-famous, i’d add another tag but that would be a spoiler so)

For three years, Harry has been running from his past. Now, he is moving to London and pledges to fulfil his only dream -- making it big in the music industry. Not everyone has a place, though, and the competition is tough. As is his past catching up on him. Louis is part of the biggest boy band of the world, and getting there had meant a lot of hard work, as well as sacrificing parts of his heart and soul. He's still happy. Maybe not as happy as he could be, but who is he to complain? Featuring Perrie as Harry's adorable flatmate, Niall as his manager, and Liam and Zayn as Louis' bandmates.

As You Are by zarah5 | @zarah5

(E, 139k, famous/non-famous, X Factor judge!Louis, contestant!Harry, angst with a happy ending)

AU. Five years after The X Factor launched his career as a radio host and songwriter, Louis Tomlinson returns as a judge. Falling for a contestant is the last thing he needs. It's also against his contract. The only reason Harry auditions for The X Factor is because his best mate signed the two of them up as some kind of joke. Harry doesn't get the big deal—not until he's faced with this season's judges and realises that one of them used to be his desperate, impossible teenage crush.

Pull Me Under by zarah5 | @zarah5

(E, 140k, fake relationship, football AU)

AU. As the first British footballer to come out at the prime of his career, it helps that Louis Tomlinson is in a long-term, committed relationship. Even if that relationship is fake. (Featuring Niall as Louis' favourite teammate, Liam as Louis' agent, and Zayn as Liam's boyfriend, who just happens to be good friends with one Harry Styles.)

BONUS (read it last year but it has to be in here)

Tired Tired Sea by MediaWhore | @mediawhorefics

(M, 113k, famous/non-famous, slow burn, hurt/comfort, pining)

As a B&B owner on the most remote of all the British Isles, Louis Tomlinson is used to spending the coldest half of the year in complete isolation, with his dog and the sea as sole companions. Until, one day, a mysterious stranger on a quest to rebuild himself rents a room for the winter.

[mournthewicked]

Electic Moves--Montgomery Scott x Reader (ToS/AoS compatible)

This is the LONGEST insert I have ever written holy MOLEY. Here it is at a whopping 5,423 words. I mostly wrote this with ToS!Scotty in mind but I think it also works for both ToS and AoS! I’ll also pop this up on Ao3. Fic is based off my favorite band The Orion Experience and their song Electric Moves

Warnings: Kissing

Electric Moves

“Alright that’s the last of the wires!” you yelled to your superior wiping your safety glasses clean of debris.

“Alrigh’ let me take a look at ‘em,” Montgomery Scott said, crouching next to you. He examined the junctions of the circuit boards and nodded in approval. “Not bad…not bad at all Lieutenant. No bubbles… joints are solid. This soldering is better than some of my own. Must be those steady medical hands.” He winked at you and you put your safety glasses back on to conceal a blush.

“Thank you Mr. Scott,” you replied.

“Lass, I’ve told you already just call me Scotty. Don’t make me order you now,” he joked.

“Sorry. Thank you Scotty,” you put your tools back in the small box and hand it back to the older man. His hand brushed over yours as he takes it from you making your breath hitch.

“No thank you for lending us a hand down here. Doctor McCoy said you were a fast learner but neglected to tell me you were a near genius with mechanics. I ought to have a word with him, keeping a talented lass like you all to him—_______, you alrigh’?”

Scotty must have noticed your face morphing into a deep red from underneath your goggles. You run the back of your hand across your forehead, hoping he’d buy the redness from the heat down in the engineering room.

“Yeah I’m…I’m fine just warm. Goodness how do you live like this down here all the time? It’s hotter than Vulcan!” You exclaimed, earning a chuckle from Scotty.

“Well I s’pose we just get used to it eventually, ain’t that right Kern?” A man slightly younger than Scotty nods in agreement, through you’re pretty sure he didn’t hear what Scotty asked. “Well I think we’re all done down here. Thank you again. It was an absolute pleasure having you down here. I hope we’ll see each other soon.”

He held his hand out to you and you took his surprisingly gentle hand in your own. “Any time, Scotty. It was an honor working on her.”

“Her?” he asked, eyebrows raised.

“It! Her—uh the Enterprise!” You ran your hands over your face. Surely your blush was obvious by now.

Scotty belted out a hearty laugh. “Lass, I thought I was the only one who referred to the ship as a lady, other than the Captain of course.”

“Well—yeah it’s like in those old stories about sea mariners and pirates and even in early space exploration. Their ships were always referred to as female so I just kind of let it slip into my vocabulary. Besides,” you gestured to the warp core. “The Enterprise is like a human being. She has a heart, a circulatory system, a brain…All sorts of anatomy. It’s just made of metal.”

Scotty looked at you full of admiration. “Lieutenant _______ I believe you and I are going to get along quite well.”

You turned to him and smiled. “I sure hope so Scotty.”

The next few days you doubled back and forth as both Assistant Medical Officer and engineer. Though most of your time was spent in med bay assisting Doctor McCoy with patients and testing, you also assisted Scotty with warp core diagnostics and repairing small details on the lower decks. You grew fond of the crew down below becoming friends with Ensigns Kern and Russell but your admiration mostly resided with Scotty. If fact, your admiration was becoming even more: each time you passed him your heart would speed up and you could feel yourself going red. Your stomach flipped and your knees weakened and if your eyes met his, oh stars your words would catch in your throat and you could barely keep yourself from stammering. Eventually, though your heart still raced when he got too close, you managed to get used to his sweet conversations about the starship and his daily life.

Two weeks after the two of you met Captain Kirk announced there would be a week-long shore leave after a recent encounter with Harry Mudd left the Enterprise in disarray and in need of refueling.

“Can’t believe we nearly lost the ship in a bet. Mudd would have had us floating through the galaxy if you hadn’t gotten that gauge recalibrated Mr. Scott,” Bones said as he stepped off the landing pad and onto the Federation sanctioned planet.

“Aye, but I can’t take all the credit Doctor. In fact it was your assistant who wrote the equation. She’s the real star of the show,” Scotty said clapping a hand on your shoulder.

“Well Lieutenant, seems like we owe you a drink or two,” Bones said.

“That’s very kind of you but I plan on curling up with a good book and working on some small projects I’ve been meaning to get done during leave,” you replied.

“Ach lass you have to take a bit of a break. You’ve been working plenty,” Scotty said.

“Thank you Scotty but I’m going to sit this one out.”

“I understand,” he replied. You didn’t catch the sadness in his eyes as you turned to head to your hotel room. “It won’t be the same without you!” He called after you.

You turned around and threw him a dazzling smile. “Enjoy your evening gentlemen!” You responded with a mock bow and disappeared into the crowd.

As soon as you were out of sight Bones turned to Scotty. “You really have it bad for her, don’t you?”

Scotty scoffed at the doctor. “I haven’t the slightest idea what you mean!”

Bones rolled his eyes and retorted, “Oh please. ‘It won’t be the same without you’?”

“Well I simply meant we would miss her.”

“You’ve been looking at her like a lovesick teenager. It’s sickening,” Bones responded. The two of them began to walk to a small diner, serving refreshments from different parts of the galaxy. “One bourbon and a scotch on me.”

“Doctor you aren’t going to get me drunk and have me spill my secrets.” Scotty said as a Betazonian male placed his drink in front of him.

“You don’t need to spill anything it’s written all over your face. You get all goo goo eyed with her. Nurse Chapel noticed it, Uhura noticed it, hell, even Spock has mentioned how you’ve been talking about her nonstop.”

Scotty sighed and took a sip of his scotch. He ran his hand through his chestnut hair for a moment before saying, “I don’t know what to do McCoy. She’s on my mind constantly. Working, off duty, hell even in my dreams. The first day when she came down to work on the circuitry she was so kind and sweet, a wee shy too, but she’s also smart and creative. The way she figured out the equation to save our ship was incredible!”

“Then what seems to be the trouble, Mr. Scott? You aren’t technically her reporting officer so there aren’t any regulations against it.”

“That’s not the problem I just…I don’t want to make her feel uncomfortable. She’s a quiet woman and she hasn’t made any indication that she wants to pursue anything outside of work. I, well, I don’t even know if she considers me a friend,” saying that out loud broke Scotty’s heart and McCoy could see it on his face.

Bones waved the bartender over and ordered another round for his friend. “Listen Scotty, I’m a doctor not a love expert. But I do know my assistant pretty well and she talks about you a lot. She sings your praises. Hell, she’s been spending more time with you than in her own office. The girl likes you she’s just too shy to make the first move.”

Scotty shook his head in doubt and McCoy sighed. “Come on Scotty. Let’s finish up our drinks and we can talk about this some other time. I know Jim was thinking about going to a little hole in the wall club of some sort and I’m going to need someone to help carry his miserable behind back when he out drinks himself.”

Scotty stared into his glass and said, “Aye.”

 ***

Meanwhile you began to unpack your shore leave bag, distracted by Scotty’s words.

‘It won’t be the same without you.’ What could he mean by that? He’s never been out with me before, heck I’ve never been out with anyone on the starship before. Could it be that he had hoped I would come out?

“This is all so confusing!” You yelled to yourself, throwing down a towel. “Stupid feelings.”

You flopped on your bed and stared at the pastel purple ceiling weighing your options. You could continue to pine after Scotty in secret, watching him as he eventually fell in love with someone else and—no that felt awful. You could tell him how you feel, get rejected, and never be able to work in the same room with him—that felt even worse.

You sat on the edge of your bed and sighed. You needed to do something to keep your mind off Scotty. The clock on the computer on your desk flashed 20:00.

“Computer, what is there to do on this planet during the evenings?” You asked. The computer whirred to life, ticking with calculations.

“Sources for entertainment near your current location. There are six bars within walking distance. Two are karaoke bars, three are exotic stripping clubs, and one is a dance club.”

A dance club? You thought excitedly. It’s been so long since I’ve been dancing. “Who’s performing at the dance club? Anyone good?”

The computer whirred again before stating: “Popular intergalactic band The Orion Experience will be performing live throughout your shore leave.”

“Thank you Computer. That is all,” you said and the computer powered down. You sat on the edge of your bed staring at your luggage in front on you. If I’m going to do this, I’m going all out tonight.

You sprung up in excitement and grabbed your bag. “Screw sadness, screw the rules, I’m about to be Cinderella at the ball.”

An hour and a half later you checked yourself out in the mirror. You purchased two dresses, your choice for this evening was a jeweled emerald green dress that stopped mid-thigh and white boots. You even splurged on some makeup and changed your hair. At a glance you could barely recognize yourself.

Shooting a wink at your reflection you strutted out of your room and out the door not even noticing the three Starfleet officers you passed on the street.

***

“Mr. Scott, Bones is right. You need to just come right out and say it. Quick, like a band aid. It will be over in a minute.” Captain Kirk tried to persuade the Scotsman.

“Thank you, Captain, for the sage advice. And thank you Doctor McCoy for telling the Captain about my personal affairs, I greatly appreciate it,” Scotty replied with a glare to the brunette.

McCoy rolled his eyes. “Well I’m sorry but I wasn’t going to let you look like a depressed Sehlat the whole shore leave.”

“I do not look like a depressed Sehlat!” exclaimed Scotty. Bones and Kirk stared at him intensely and he relented. “Gentlemen, I thank you for support. But I’m an old man—much older than __________. And she should be with someone else her age. As beautiful as she is, finding someone else wouldn’t be a problem.” Scotty’s eyes began misty and he blinked back tears.

Kirk clapped a hand on his friends shoulder. “Now Mr. Scott there will be no tears tonight. The night is young and there is a bar just down the streets with all sort of intergalactic alcohol. Let’s forget about our problems even if it’s just for the night.”

But I don’t want to forget about her. Mr. Scott thought to himself, but he knew voicing his opinion would get drowned out by his two friends. “Aye, where are we going lads?”

“Well,” Kirk began rubbing his hands together. “I thought we would check out that bar I was telling Bones about earlier. I’ve heard that they have these dancers that—“

Kirk was cut off as a woman walked past in a short green dress and white boots. The three men stared after her as she sashayed out the door into the crowd.

“Jim…who was that?” McCoy asked staring after her.

“I’m…not sure. I don’t recall ever seeing her before,” Kirk replied.

“She has to be on the Enterprise though. This hotel was booked for us by Starfleet and no other ships are docked so it’s just us,” Scotty said.

“She couldn’t be a Romulan spy could she?” McCoy asks.

“A Romulan, spy or not, would never—could never—have that strut in their step. Especially in those shoes,” Kirk responded.

“Of all things you could comment on you mention her footwear?” Bones joked.

“Of all the things I could comment on her shoes were the most appropriate. Do you have anything to add Doctor McCoy?”

“Not at all, Jim.”

“Good,” Kirk began to follow the woman but was stopped by Scotty.

“You don’t plan on following her do you?” He asked.

“Scotty, the three of us have no idea who she is and we know our crew better than anyone else. Whoever she is, she’s obviously gotten through our security systems and we need to know how. Besides aren’t you two a little curious to see who she is?”

Scotty sighed for what seemed to be the hundredth time that day and he followed his two friends through the street after the mysterious, and yet oddly familiar, stranger.

The bar pulsed with the beat of the band and you were bumping and grinding your way through the crowd. You felt different, alive, on the dance floor. A cheer went through the crowd as you spun through a dance circle. Each move was filled you with energy, you were electrified by the music and you sang out with the rest of the crowd.

“Somebody told me, you got electric moves. Out on the floor you’re like lightening striking,” you sang off key with everyone as the band went into the final chorus. You turned again as the song began to transition to another but froze mid step as you spotted McCoy, Kirk, and Scotty staring in your direction whispering to themselves. You made eye contact with the chief engineer for a brief second, both confusion and recognition evident in his eyes. He slowly got off his chair and began to walk towards you, startling you out of your trance. You turned your back towards him and ran out the door.

***

The three men sat down at bar scoping the dance floor for the mysterious woman.

“You sure she went into this one Jim?” McCoy asked the blond sipping a drink.

“Positive. Keep your eye out for anything suspicious,” Kirk said surveying the dance floor. “Mr. Scott, have you given any more thought to what Bones and I were saying earlier.”

“Now Captain, I told you I don’t want to pursue anything—“ he was cut off by a cheer and applause on the dance floor.

“There Jim! She’s over there,” McCoy exclaimed. The three men stared in her direction, watching as she danced sensually, hands in the air laughing and stomping her foot to the beat.

“She looks familiar. I just can’t put my finger on it,” Kirk said. McCoy and Scotty nodded fixated on the woman. She did one final turn as the song transitioned into a new one but, as she looked in their direction she froze.

“It can’t be…” Bones mumbled.

“Is that…Lieutenant ___________?” Kirk asked still staring at her.

Scotty watched her intently as they maintained eye contact. It was _________ there was no doubt in his mind. Seeing her with such fire in her soul was intimidating, there was no doubt about that. She radiated confidence and seeing her with such energy made Scotty’s heart swell in infatuation. Clenching his fists, Scotty knew he had to take a chance or he was going to have a heart attack. Taking a deep breathe he stood up, knees weak not from the alcohol but from the nerves. He steadied himself and began to approach her gaining confidence with each step. However about ten steps in the woman who held his soul broke eye contact and ran out the door, leaving the shattered pieces of his heart where she last stood.

***

Morning hit you like a Bat’leth; your mouth was dry and every vibrant color of the wall sent a wave of nausea through your body. The headache you had was unsurmountable and you grabbed the hypo you left on the table and injected it. Moments later your headache was gone and your nausea was slightly more manageable.

You revisited the events of last night grinning s the memories came back to you. You looked at the dress that was discarded on top of your suitcase with a fond grin, eagerly thinking about the second number you had waiting for tonight. However your feelings of excitement were smothered as soon as you remembered who saw at the bar watching you. McCoy. Kirk. Scotty.

“Oh my God,” you cried out to yourself putting your head in your hands as you tried to erase that memory from your mind.

They must have thought I looked ridiculous, you thought. I made such a fool of myself. Tears pricked at your eyes and you tried to will them away. Even though you knew none of them would make fun of you—well McCoy might tease you but you could handle him—you knew it would impact how the other two would look at you. If there was a black hole close enough you would jump right into it.

Your stomach growled and decided to get something to eat to keep your mind off of everything. Throwing on your blue Starfleet uniform you walked across the street into a diner. Beings of different races, genders, and ages sat throughout the establishment and were even peppered with Enterprise officers and crew.

Walking to your table you heard the voice of someone you didn’t want to hear: Captain Kirk.

“Lieutenant _________! Come have a seat with us,” he said.

You sighed and though you could have rejected his proposal you also wanted to have a moment to explain yourself—to explain you didn’t always look so uncoordinated and dramatic.

“Good morning Captain, gentlemen,” you nodded to McCoy and Scotty as you sat beside the latter. He didn’t greet you with the usual smile he always had around you. In fact he didn’t greet you at all.

“We were just discussing this woman that we saw dancing last night. It really was something else,” Kirk said.

Oh God here it comes, you thought to yourself.

“She was fantastic, _________, you should have seen her. She had this control over the floor. It was almost supernatural,” McCoy exclaimed. “At first glance we thought she was you,”

You nearly choked on your water. “You thought she was me?” They didn’t realize it was me?

“We certainly did. Then Scotty said you planned on working on some projects during shore leave,” Kirk replied. “How did they turn out?”

“O-oh. Fine. They weren’t anything too difficult,” you replied, relieved.

“And your reading? How was that?” Scotty asked bitterly.

You were taken aback by the harshness in his voice. “It was…fine I guess. Scotty are you—“

“I’m fine Lieutenant __________,” Scotty said. Kirk and McCoy exchanged looks as Scotty got up from the table. “Lads I have some work that I need to catch up on so I’m going to head back to my room. Have a good day.”

The three of you watched as Scotty left the diner without as much as a goodbye to you. You looked down at your plate of food that was just served suddenly nauseous again.

“What the hell was that all about?” McCoy asked in shock.

“I have no idea,” Kirk replied. “But I intend to find out.” He and McCoy followed the Scot out the door leaving you behind, your food hardly touched as tears welled in your eyes.

***

“Scotty! Hey Scotty!” McCoy pounded on the door to the Chief Engineer’s room. “Open up we know you’re in there.”

“Step aside Bones,” Kirk said, punching an override code. The doors slid open to Scotty’s room revealing the Scot seated at his table a bottle of scotch in hand.

“Hello lads, I wonder what brings you here?” Scotty asked sardonically, taking a hearty swig of his drink.

“You know very well what brings us here Scotty. What the hell is your problem? You’ve been in a crappy mood since we got back to the hotel last night and now you’re taking it out on _________?” McCoy asked, arms crossed over his chest. Kirk watched Scotty, slowly putting pieces of the puzzle together.

“I don’t feel like answering that question, Dr. McCoy. Frankly I don’t want to discuss anything with anyone. I wish to be left alone with my scotch,” Scotty said.

Captain Kirk sat at the table to level himself with Scotty. “Scotty,” he said. “Mr. Scott, look at me.”

Scotty sighed and turned to Captain Kirk. Kirk studied him for a brief moment.

“We were right weren’t we Mr. Scott?” Kirk asked softly and put a hand on his friend’s shoulder.

McCoy looked between the two. “Right about what, Jim?”

“The woman at the bar last night. It was Lieutenant __________, wasn’t it?” Jim asked.

Scotty stared at the Captain for a long time before whispering, “Aye.”

The three men waited in silence, waiting for someone to say something. The room was filled with nothing but the ambience of chatter in the halls and the echo of Scotty’s affirmation.

“She ran from me,” Scotty said mournfully.

Kirk nodded.

“Why? Why would she run?” Scotty asked.

“I can’t answer that for you, Scotty,” Kirk said.

Scotty stood up and walked to the window, looking out at the city below. Midday had approached by then, the sun high up in the cyan sky. “I don’t know what I was thinking going up to her. She was having the time of her life dancing and singing. What would she want with an old fool like me?”

“That’s horseshit,” McCoy said, going over to Scotty.

“Bones…” Kirk warned.

“No, Jim I have to say it. Scotty what you’re saying is pure horseshit and you know it. You’re making assumptions and that’s all you’ve done this whole time. Have you even talked to ________ about your feelings yet? I bet you haven’t and I guarantee you have her feeling like complete crap after the way you ignored her this morning.”

Scotty contemplated everything his friend said, knowing he was right. He hasn’t talked to ________ since they docked and not giving her a chance to explain herself wasn’t fair.

“But why would she run from us. From me?” Scotty asked.

“Hell if I know. Maybe she was embarrassed that we saw her, you know how shy she is. And I’m not saying what she did was excusable, but dammit talk to her. Ask her why she ran away and tell her how you feel. Because if you don’t you’re going to lose any chance to have with her, and that will be a damn shame,” McCoy said.

Scotty nodded his head, understanding that everything McCoy was saying was tough love. “Do…do you have anything to add, Captain?”

Captain Kirk waved his hands innocently. “No…no I do believe Bones covered it all.”

Scotty grabbed some glasses from his cabinet and poured drinks for the three of them. “Well then let’s have a drink shall we? And then…well then I’m going to go make a visit to ________’s quarters.”

***

You wrapped your hair in a towel as you stepped out of the shower and threw on some loungewear. Your hangover was completely gone by now but in its place was a heavy heart. You messed up really bad, running away from him last night and then not explaining yourself this morning. You looked at the dress laid out on your bed and sighed, debating whether or not you still wanted to go out when you heard a knock on the door.

“Who is it?” You called out.

“It’s Scotty. May I come in lass?” He asked.

You nearly tripped over yourself running to the door, pressing the button to open the door to let him in.

“Mr. Scott, good evening,” you said hoping the waver in your voice wasn’t as prominent as you thought.

“Back to calling me Mr. Scott are we?” He asked gruffly as he stepped inside.

You winced at his tone. “Sorry…Scotty—“

“I was joking _________,” he said with a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“Oh.” The two of you stood in silence trying to figure out what to say next. Moment’s passed, then you two both began at once.

“Lass, I—“

“I’m sorry.”

The two of you looked at each other at the same time before letting out nervous laughs.

“You’re sorry?” Scotty asked in slight confusion.

You nodded. “Yes I…I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have run from you. I didn’t…I didn’t want anyone to see me dancing and I was so embarrassed when I saw you…” You were so overwhelmed with everything your lip began to tremble.

“Now, now ________, don’t you start crying,” Scotty said as he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close to his chest. “You have nothing to be sorry for, this is my fault. I jumped to conclusions.”

You allowed yourself to be held by him for a moment, relished breathing in his scent of scotch and oak, and savored the feeling of his one hand stroking your hair while his other hand rubbed circles on your waist.

After a moment you pulled back to look him in his eyes. “Jumped to conclusions?” You asked.

Scotty took a deep breath and took your hands in his. “Yes I…I may have thought you didn’t want to have a dance with me. Thought that you thought the idea would be repulsive.”

Your hand flew to your mouth. He was going to ask me for a dance?  “I thought you were going to tell me that I looked ridiculous,” you confessed.

Scotty’s eyebrows shot up his forehead. “Now why in heavens would I do that?” He exclaimed.

“I mean…I probably did look ridiculous flailing around like I was,” you said.

Scotty laughed. “You looked nothing of the sort. You…you were incredible! You dance beautifully, hell McCoy and Kirk didn’t even recognize you until I told them today. We thought you were a spy.”

“A spy?” You shout in laughter.

“You have to admit you looked a lot different last night.”

You chuckled and nodded. “I certainly did.”

You two stood in silence for another moment. “Why would you think I wouldn’t dance with you?” You asked.

Scotty sighed, “It was a little foolish of me. I’m so much older than you are—“

“Not by that much,” you cut in.

“But still old enough. I thought you were repulsed by the thought of it. I should have known better,” he said.

“Scotty, I would have very much liked to have danced with you had I not run away,” you said placing a hand on his cheek.

He put his hand over yours, rubbing it slightly. “________ I believe we both are foolish.”

You nodded in agreement your eyes captured in his gaze.

“I—also was going to tell you something last night.” Scotty said hesitantly.

You nodded for him to go on.

“Seeing you dancing there—every time I see you as a matter of fact—I get so overwhelmed in your beauty. That day you first came into engineering you were just a ray of sunshine without saying anything. Then you finished those wires and talked to me and I thought I was going to pass out. You talk about the Enterprise like she was your child and I know you can’t see the way your eyes light up when you talk about her but I do and it can make even Klingons blush. You can imagine what it does to my heart.” Scotty paused to take a breath and you could feel your heart racing.

“_________, I know this might be wishful thinking but I need to tell you that I like you. That I am falling head over heels for you. And I don’t intend on making you feel uncomfortable in any way regardless of how you answer my question. If you want to just be friends and never speak of this again I will. If you want me to leave you alone for the rest of our time on the Enterprise together I will. I just want to ask if maybe you would like to go out with me?”

Your breath hitched head absolutely spinning with every word he said.

“Scotty,” you began. “I would like it very much if you would kiss me.”

A chuckle of relief escaped Scotty as he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you in for a gentle kiss. It was neither long nor short, just enough for the two of you to lose yourselves in each other’s touch of your lips.

You both pulled away, light blushes on your cheeks.

“I would love to go out with you Montgomery Scott,” you told him.

Scotty was so overjoyed that he let out a boisterous laugh and hugged you, lifting you a few inches off the ground.

You laughed, body feeling like it weighed only feathers.

“Would you like to go on a date right now?” You asked boldly. “I was thinking about going to the dance club again.”

“Now how could I pass up dancing with the most beautiful woman in the universe?” Scotty said, pecking your cheek.

You blushed, realizing you would never get used to being showered with complements. “Wait here,” you said. “I’m going to change.”

“You could always change right here.” Scotty joked, laughing as your face turned crimson. “I’m teasing you. Go ahead and get ready.”

You shook your head and grabbed your dress of your bed. “Go ahead and sit down. I’ll be right out.”

Scotty sat down and waited in anticipation. He took in all the details of your hotel room wondering what kind of stuff you kept in your room on the Enterprise. He saw your dress from last night peeking out from your suitcase and he chuckled thinking about the last twenty-four hours. You were his; he was yours even with how ridiculous you both acted.

A few moments later, you poked your head out the door. “Hey Scotty, would you mind zipping me up?” You asked holding the front of your dress up.

Scotty looked at you, mouth open in shock. Your hair and makeup were styled the same way you did yesterday but the dress was different. It was a dark blue glittery dress with three quarter sleeves. The dress was short in the front and long in the back and flared out beautifully. You wore black pumps with it.

“Scotty?” You asked, snapping him out of his trance.

“Sorry lass, you just…you look stunning.” Scotty said as he walked over to you.

You turned and he slowly zipped up your dress his fingers occasionally brushing against your skin, leaving your skin burning where he touched you.

Once zipped, Scotty kissed the nape of your neck making you go weak in your knees. You turned to him and pulled him in for a searing, passionate kiss. His hands pulled you tight, dipping you slightly, and ran them across your back. You ran your hands through his mahogany hair gasping slightly at his desperation. He took that moment to slide his tongue in your mouth increasing the passion of the kiss.

The two of you pulled away after a moment, blushes evident in your faces.

“I do believe you owe me a dance.” Scotty whispered to you.

You smiled and pulled him towards the door. “I certainly do. I believe we have time to finish this later if you want?”

“For you, my love, I have all the time in the world.” Scotty said, squeezing your hand as you led him to the club.

We believe in love, and love saves the day—The Orion Experience

[oxhaven]

Engraved Stigma pt. 3 (bluckbutler!kyungsoo)

Your eyes trained on the words on the page through your rimmed glasses, emitting a yawn through your gaped mouth. It was a quiet morning as you spent it with a book in your reading room, nothing particular planned on your schedule for the day. It was smaller compared to the library, a sitting room with shelves of books surrounding your comfort chairs and single open window as you listened to the chirping of birds from outside. 

You flipped the page with slight curiosity as to what was to come next in the chapter, but your mind was still wandering to other ideas. 

“Victoria.”

You heard the scrambling shift of her feet against the floorboard behind you, her stuttering response answering you, “Yes!?”

“Tea.” you cooly commanded, eyes still glued to the page of the book in your hands. You could still see her from the corners of your eyes, hurriedly trying to pour a cup of tea for you while trying to be careful with the expensive porcelain that would indeed be difficult to replace. 

She managed to hand you your teacup successfully without making a mess, smiling to herself happily with arms outstretched to you as you dropped your book onto the table stand next to you. You took the cup with fingers holding onto the handle, letting the cool porcelain press against your lips before you took a sip. The earl grey had grown warm but you didn’t bother telling her, a matter more important to you on your mind. 

“Victoria, have you ever been to a party?”

Her eyes snapped with attention as she straightened up in front of you, hands clenching together as she hummed with thought. 

“Only when I was younger my mistress, that was a long time ago, years ago-”

“How would you like to attend one with me?”

You didn’t think her eyes could grow any wider, her mouth dropping open as she immediately refused, “I could never! I’m too shabby looking compared to you mistress, what would they think of a maid attending a party with my mistress-”

“Are you refusing me, Victoria?”

Her mouth shut instantly as she dropped her gaze, like a scolded puppy who didn’t know any better. You set your teacup aside before getting up from your seat, your eyes examining her from top to bottom as you circled around. 

“You would look amazing in some of the dresses I have.” you murmured mostly to yourself but the shift in her body didn’t go unnoticed. You glanced back up when you reached the front of her, a finger underneath her chin as you raised it up for her eyes to meet yours. You smiled adoringly, “I was invited to a party tonight, hosted by some promising partners who would be a valuable asset in the growth of my company. But you know how much I hate going to parties.” 

You moved from her feigning worry with a sigh. “If I must go, I’ll go, but Kyungsoo makes it so boring for me. Always making me speak to the other guests and building rapur.” 

You heard her open her mouth and stutter on a reply and you knew you got her, quickly returning back to her with a bright grin. “It would seem I might have some fun going with you Victoria. Call it, a girl’s night out?”

She was still stuttering over her words as your eyes bore into hers, not allowing her to break eye contact with you. You knew exactly how to break Victoria, but even more so on how to use her, which is why you knew she would never refuse you if you put her on the spot. And break she did, her uneasy gaze finally relenting into yours. 

“I would be honored to accompany you, my mistress.”

*

The ballroom hall was filled with glittering candlelights along the chandeliers hanging above the mass of people. They were all high class individuals, dressed to impress for the evening event celebrating the union of outstanding businesses with successful revenue. You believed it was all bullshit quite honestly, sipping lightly from the champagne glass as your eyes wandered about the hall. It was an excuse for rich people to get together and brag about their companies, family names, and overall wealth they acquired from overworking lower class people. You truly hated parties, but tonight was special. Tonight you didn’t have Kyungsoo to torment you into dancing or making ‘friends’ with the rats who only cared about having more money and popularity. You didn’t completely ignore the rodents though, keeping light conversation and earning a few points in getting invited to the next ladies brunch outing.

You wanted to hurry and wrap this night up all together, but there was something you planned to do if the moment arrived. That’s why a pleased smile formed on your face when you noticed her at the top of the marble staircase. 

Before Victoria became your maid she was known as a mysterious beauty across the nation. Not many people got the chance to witness her grace and charm but she was sure to leave them absolutely stunned. Now she belonged in your hands, living to abide and serve only you. 

She looked elegant in the black gown that initially belonged to you, making heads turn as she made her way down the steps. Her midnight black hair was slicked back falling down past her shoulder blades in gorgeous waves. Her makeup only accented her features more, with a red lip stain that was addictive to the eye. You applauded yourself silently with the fine work you’ve done, watching her make her way towards you in the sea of people with their attention on her. 

Of course she was stopped many times, astonished men not being able to help themselves wanting a dance with her. She rejected all except one, an older gentleman far out of his league that she permitted with a chasting smile. 

You scoffed to yourself at the way he rumbled with pride, courting her the whole night as he introduced her to his many acquaintances before they made their way through the room down to the hall that led to other private rooms. You continued to sip your champagne, enjoying the night through until you figured it was late enough. Kyungsoo must be missing you by now. 

It was a long walk down the dark hallway, hearing the sound of a record player and deep laughter of men the closer you got to the door. You didn’t bother to knock, turning the knob and pushing the door open with your fingers as the noise quieted down upon your entrance.  

You almost snorted, lips turning up in a sneer at the sight before you. “Uncle.”

The room was dark except for the few lighted candles that littered the tables, smoke hazing the room from the cigars each man had. You were able to spot Victoria in an obscene position, pushed against the table with hands all over her being pressured to take a drag from the cigar by the man you addressed. They were all taken back by your presence, removing themselves from Victoria as you leaned against the doorway with arms folded. “How are you? I see you’ve grown acquainted with my maid.”

Hushed murmurs and chuckles filled the room as your uncle stepped back from Victoria, taking a drag of the cigar he offered her before blowing the smoke out into the air. 

“My niece, it isn’t polite to address people you mistaken as. Now if I had known you were here I would have properly greeted you-”

“Don’t say things you don’t mean. Then again you do love to talk nonsense.” you cut him off, tsking to yourself as you stepped into the room and towards the group of men. “You’ve been going around boasting on about my company and how well it’s been doing which is true, but I don’t remember ever giving you a share of my profits.” 

The murmurs grew in volume, your uncle’s face falling by your words as you stepped in front of him. Your plan went exactly the way it should, putting your uncle in a corner he couldn’t get out of. You noticed some time ago that money was being withdrawn from your company’s bank account on numerous occasions, and the tellers all informed you that someone with your name was taking it out. 

“You’ve been going around with these claims of teaching me since I was young and taking me under your wing when my family unfortunately died in that accident. And excuse my terrible memory, Victoria what was he saying?”

“I let her have the rights to the company’s fortune so she feels as if she’s accomplished her parents wishes.” Victoria repeated the words from memory of only a few moments ago before you arrived. You turned your attention back to your uncle who seemed to be at a loss for words, stumbling over his speech as you sighed. 

“Everything that I built over time is in my name, and you dare go around spewing these jokes on how you mentored me? Please.” You stepped away and circled back towards the door, the horrible scent of the cigar getting to you.  

“Let me formally introduce myself. I am ___, owner of Herbal Pharmaceuticals, the number one leading pharmacy in the country, and probably the reason keeping you old jackases alive.”

Only silence answered back as you noticed a few heads turn, ashamed to keep your gaze. Only your Uncle stood with rage in his eyes as he cackled with a gruff tone, “Shouldn’t you show more respect to your elders, dear?”

“Shouldn’t you show more respect to the richest in the room?” You challenged calmly, raising an eyebrow as you watched his face fall once more. “You’ve been stealing money from your poor little niece and stole my spotlight for some time now, Unc. And you along with the men in this room also conspired the death of my parents, jealousy over inheritance.”

His face was grim when you uttered the truth, his mouth falling open as he breathed, “Preposterous, there’s no evidence to prove that-”

“Kill them.”

Victoria’s movements were swift; the gleam of a knife swinging from a pocket attached to her leg and inserting into the neck of a victim closest to her. He made a gargled noise before blood pooled from his mouth and neck; Victoria made quick work of pulling the other hidden knife to slice another.

The screams began in that small room, a sinister smile on Victoria’s face as she began the killings.  

“Prove to whom? I know what you did.” you muttered mostly to yourself, taking one last look at the sight unfolding before you turned on your heel to leave.  

Your uncle backed away in disbelief, watching the slaughter being committed as he watched his colleagues fall one by one. His head spun in your direction, quickly racing to grab your arm. “Wait, you can’t do this to your own family!”

He heard something fall to the ground with a thud as he paused, watching you turn back to him with your attention aimed at the ground. He immediately felt the rush of nausea, his body trembling as he peered down to make out his forearm lying on the ground in a clean slice. 

His head came back up, widened eyes staring at you in horror as you stared at him questioningly. 

“What are you talking about? I never had one to begin with.”

Victoria was a mystery to the nation, showing up at coincidental occurrences of when an elite official would be pronounced dead. Other than being horrible at house chores, she was amazing when it came to drug usage, and an expert in weaponry. You were able to trust that they wouldn’t make it out that room by the time you left the party. 

Previous                                                                                             Next

[a-simple-imagine]

To Start a Revolution

Synopsis: Dolores saved your life but where do you go from there?

Pairing: Dolores Abernathy x fem!reader

Words: 1.9k+

A/N - So this story follows the main show and I tried to insert the reader and add my own little spin. Y/N is kinda like Caleb only Caleb still exists and they will meet in the next part. And where Dolores got through to him through telling the entire truth I tried to make it so she’s a little softer with the reader, it’s about protection over anger or revenge. Whether Dolores actually feel anything for the reader is....?? 

PREV 

You agreed to go with her out of necessity more than anything else. With everything that just happened you didn't doubt that if you had stayed behind, especially by yourself, you'd end up dead. And as much as you battle with dark thoughts, you didn't want it to end so abruptly because of a random woman you hardly know. You weren't sure if she was to be trusted but she hadn't given you a reason not to. Your hand was still in hers as you walk together. It was quiet on this particularly bright and sunny morning. It was a  refreshing sight after all that rain. The few people that did walk past seemingly paid you no attention and yet every presence put you on edge. It just felt like the world was watching. A gentle squeeze of your hand brings you back to reality.

"Should we just be out in the open like this?"

"Y/N Y/L/N, have the techs in monitoring wipe her surveillance and then send me her profile."

"Can you explain what's going on, please?" Dolores doesn't reply which is expected at this point but she does drop your hand. You only now notice how sweaty your palms are but you were feeling a lot of pressure right now. You rub your hands against your jeans, taking a deep breath in an attempt to calm your nerves. "And did you by any chance pack my limbic tabs? I could do with a little crystal ponds right now, maybe even a nice zen garden."

Your destination was a small cafe downtown known as Blu. The bell above the door chimed as the door slid open alerting everyone inside to your presence. There were only two other customers; an older lady with short silver hair was scrolling on a tablet with a cup of something in the other hand and a man with dirty blonde hair. He looked up from his tablet to catch you staring and you immediately pulled your eyes away. Shiro was behind the counter today, a small girl with deep blue hair and Max was leaning against a wall. You came here often enough, you knew every staff member by name. You still didn't like the thought of being in public though; surely you should be somewhere a little less obvious. You soon realise Dolores has led you to your favourite spot, in the right corner of the establishment. It had two armchairs surrounding a small wooden table. There's an old picture of the Eiffel Tower hung up on the wall behind. You've never brought anyone with you before. You come here alone to just watch the world go by. You take up a seat and wait for her to return from the counter.

"What did you order?"

"I got you a coffee," The blonde flashed a smile as she takes the seat across from you. "the house blend of course as well as a croissant. It'll be a few minutes."

"Okay...," You watch her carefully, wondering why she ordered for you. How did she even know what you wanted? You always got the same thing but she didn't know that maybe Shiro or Max told her? "Thanks, I guess."

"This place is... quaint. I can see why it's your favourite," Dolores announces, glancing around the room. "You come here every Friday morning before work, spend about thirty minutes just sitting here staring out the window and you always order the exact same thing." She looks back to you, meeting your curious eyes. Was she a psychic or a psycho because this was some creepy level of knowledge. "Humans are a creature of habit."

"Oh so you actually do have friends," Max comments as he walks up to the table; placing the mug and milk on the table followed by the croissant. You flash him a tight-lipped smile to disguise your discomfort.

"What gives you that idea? I don't even know this woman," You point to Dolores, laughing softly.

"And yet she knows exactly what you like," he tosses a sachet of sugar onto the table. "Enjoy. Are you sure I can't get you anything?"

Dolores shakes her head. "No thanks."

When Max leaves, you turn your attention to your coffee. "No offence but the more you talk the creepier you get." Picking up the milk, you add just a dash following it up with sugar. "A little time together and now I've got myself a stalker."

"You make jokes when your anxious," Dolores smiles. "I haven't been stalking you. Someone- something else is watching you."

"Those guys that were after you, what did they want?" You inquire. Bringing your coffee up to your lips; you blow softly on the top before taking a small sip. "You must be in some real deep shit, Dolores."

"They're not the issue." She explains ever so calmly; you wouldn't think someone was trying to kill her or that someone was trying to kill you. "They were paid. They're a part of something so much bigger than themselves."

So much bigger than themselves. They may have tried to push you off a building but you can't help but relate. Being pulled into a situation you had no business being a part of. The only difference being you the reward at the end. "Wish I was getting paid for almost dying."

A chuckle leaves her lips but it lacks any amusement; she is simply humouring you. "I can offer you money, as much as you want and you can run."

"Why would I run?" You knew the answer before you even asked but this still felt too much. You were feeling very... overwhelmed and didn't want to believe someone was threatening your existence. Your heartbeat was growing louder by the second in the pause between the question and answer. Unable to tell if you were hot because of the beverage or something else entirely. You take another dose of coffee; It definitely wasn't helping with the nerves.

"It'd be your only chance of survival but they'd still try to hunt you down." The coffee trickles down your throat and you almost choke on it. Traces of liquid come sputtering back up. Dolores unzips your bag and pulls out a small plastic black container, slapping it down on top of the table. She then grabs her tablet as you reach for your saving grace. Her hand falls to yours as you grab it bringing you to a stop. You look to her as she squeezes your hand just a little too tight; swallowing hard as you stare into the sea of her eyes. "Calm down," she states firmly, if only it helped your mood the way medically prescribed tabs do. Her hand slips off you and you're quick to open up the box and take a tab on tip of your forefinger. Lightly pressing it to the roof of your mouth. "You should be careful," she continues absentmindedly bringing up the interface and selecting zen garden. It was your most frequent choice but you did mix it up sometimes. Eyes fluttering closed, you take a deep centring breath. The good thing about the ID8 app is that you could adjust the settings for a truly personal experience. Right now it was enough to calm you down but allowed her to keep your attention as you started on the croissant. Ripping off the end of the pastry, you pop it into your mouth. "do you know who makes these?"

"Incite," You mumble. "What's the problem? Are you one of those people who hates tech?"

"Not at all," Dolores shakes her head. "I'm not referring to the company but the system that it's built on and the data it has collected."

"Oh," The system it was built on? Why did that matter? "Everyone knows they collect data, Dolores, It's not a big deal."

"But it is," Despite her calm demeanour Dolores spoke with such an intensity it was hard to ignore. Perhaps it was the way she spoke rather than the words themselves? Or the way she was always one step ahead in the conversation no matter the subject? "It's so much more than that. It's not just surveillance and social media but something bigger.

"I don't understand."

Dolores sighs as if you were supposed to get everything the first time. It was hard to understand where this was going? She was just randomly talking about data and incite but why do people want her dead? She's not the first conspiracy nut in the world. "Are you planning on running away?"

"I... don't know," you shrug. Everything was happening so fast you hadn't really thought that far ahead. "What other option is there? You told me last night that if I stay they'll kill me."

"I can protect you," She announces and you can't help but find shining knight Dolores appealing; she was already appealing but now she was intriguing. Not to mention that the sun was casting her in such an angelic glow right now that it was hard not to admire her. "If you help me, I'll keep you safe."

"Help you with what? what are you planning to do?" You ask, ripping off another piece of your pastry but hesitating before putting it in your mouth. "You keep saying to trust you but you never explain any-"

"Why didn't you tell those men about me?" She interrupts. "They were going to kill you."

You think about it for a second as you finish chewing before shrugging your shoulders. "I had nothing to tell."

Her eyes flicker to the tablet and back to you. "You had plenty, In a dire situation you could have said anything but you didn't; you acted like you didn't even know me."

"I don't know you," A small sigh leaves your lips. "I guess you're the first person to show me any real kindness in years. You made me feel something even if it was short-lived so I guess I felt like owed you."

"You're highly driven by emotion," Dolores replies. "People are easy to predict but there's something about you that is different. A decision like that coming from someone like you surprised me and very few things do that anymore."

"I guess I'll take that as a compliment," You grin, finishing up your snack and brushing your hands to rid them of any crumbs. "So if I stay, what happens next? You must be planning something big?"

"I plan to expose this world for what it truly is"

You brows knit together. What the fuck does that even mean? "How?"

Dolores put her tablet away followed by your limbic tabs. You watched her for a second, leaning back in your seat. "The details will become clear, so?"

"I don't know how useful I'll be," you can't say you've ever done anything like this before? Never been part of something like this. Never wanted to expose the world for what it truly is to use Dolores's words but what other options were there? You couldn't run forever, you probably wouldn't last that long anyway and it wasn't like you could just go back home and forget about everyone. At least if you go with Dolores you'd have a fighting chance.

"More than you think but it won't be easy."

"You basically told me I'm dead either way so... What have I got to lose?"

Dolores handed over your bag while taking her own as she rose to her feet. "I have to go, I'll come to collect you when I'm finished."

"Where are you going?" You wonder, rising to your feet alongside her. She was leaving you alone already?

"To start a revolution."

NEXT

[scoundrels-in-love]

Did you slip in through open doors and sit down, just to look at me like that (every day) | Chapter 2 - Jaime I

Brienne doesn’t mean to lie to her father. She just wants him to stop trying to set her up with men who aren’t Jaime Lannister, whom she’s secretly in love with. Unfortunately, that’s exactly who eagerly inserts himself in the narrative as her fake boyfriend. And her father is coming to King’s Landing in two weeks.

Truly, what could go wrong?

Also on AO3. Still part of @jbmonthlymadness Mutual Pining March.

He is so, so fucked.

Not quite the same way he thought a week ago, but still very much fucked.

Jaime glances over to where Brienne is watching a game on the couch for what feels like the hundredth time this half hour. While that itself isn’t unusual, everything else is. Tenseness in her shoulders he isn’t sure he will lure out with a stupid joke and then slay with even worse one, the way they’ve barely spoken to each other today and that his heart is being harshly kneaded by some huge, clawed animal. He’d say it’s a lion, but considering his House that feels just a little cliche .

Though, according to Elia, he is a walking cliche and a terribly executed one, at that. He sighs, realizes that the beer bottle really isn’t where he’s blindly grabbing for it, and averts his gaze from his fake girlfriend. There is exactly one word too many in that title and it’s neither girl or friend. If only he could convince Brienne of the same.

Jaime has tried , he really has. Gotten up earlier to make sure he can prepare her coffee and go on a jog with her, kissed her goodbye on the cheek, pestered her into having a lunch during work hours and ordered takeout to arrive just after she got home the days he knew he’d be home even later than her, sent her obscure memes about animals he found on some nature activist group on Raventome that he frankly didn’t get but hoped she would and have a good laugh between work and more.

Granted, he does all these things regularly anyway (except the cheek kisses, but he isn’t sure they’re as much of a highlight of the day for her as they are for him), but now it’s daily. And it’s not a bother, like Brienne tries to convince him to think, and Jaime would gladly do it for the rest of the foreseeable future. Even waking an hour earlier, although he likes to think that if they were properly dating, he’d persuade her to explore other workouts they could do in the time without leaving the house.

Elia suggested it’s because she’s stressed about the convention, but Jaime knows better. (“Of course you do, that’s why you suggested to be her fake boyfriend instead of telling her you’ve been head over heels for her for years now.”) No, Brienne’s work has nothing to do with the skittishness in her eyes, the way she freezes when he presses lips to her delightfully reddening cheek, sometimes daring to brush corner of her mouth or lingering a second too long because her proximity makes him a little dizzy, or stumbles over conversations topics as if they are larger than boulders she can easily best when hiking. She doesn’t even shut down his flirtations anymore - instead she looks away and mumbles something or trips into the next topic.

Their new arrangement is the cause, and the realization has been rolling toward him like a house sized morning star down a gentle slope.

“Jaime? Movie’s starting,” subject of his sweet agony and worry calls out and Jaime realizes he has quite literally spaced out. And that perhaps his inner narrator is going a little overboard. Elia would have another laughing fit if she knew.

He grabs the snacks and another beer and presents them to her with a smile, falls heavily in his spot that earns a little bit of glare from Brienne because, of course, she’s concerned for the springs and one of these days he will tell her he can think of more interesting things to wreck their couch with. ‘One of these days’ feels like an awful stretch and ‘a mountainclimb later’ sort of thing, though. He heaves a sigh.

“Everything alright, Jaime?” she asks and he looks at her, armed with a bright smile and an easy no, when they crumble faced with concern that colors the blue of her eyes deeper, yet gilded shade like the last glimpse of sunset paints the sea. Of course Brienne finds time to worry about him, despite seemingly thinking she’s standing between two cannons labelled ‘work’ and ‘fake boyfriend’, ready to shoot.

He wants to pull her close and press a kiss to her furrowed brow so much he can physically feel an alternate reality, one where he’s braver and does just that, manifest.

Unfortunately, in this one Jaime only laughs and plops his head in her lap, facing the TV. “Of course I am, B. But if you’re so worried, you can always pet my head and tell me it’s going to be alright.” He likes it when she says that, the way she sets her jaw mulishly and seems to simply talk it into existence with sheer willpower and kindness. But never for herself, only others.

Brienne stills for a moment, then, much to his relief, makes indigant noise and pushes at his shoulder slightly but with no real force. “I’m not a cushion, Jaime” she tells him and he shifts just so he can grin up at her.

“C’mon, I’ve been a good boyfriend this week, have I not earned one lap cushion coupon? I must use it before it expires.”

“ Fake boyfriend,” she says seriously and Jaime looks at the screen again so she can’t witness his grin shattering like the window of Casterly Rock’s kitchen when he had been six and too eager while playing ball. He might feel even more chastised than after the lecture Tywin had given him, which had left a stone grinding sharp edge in his gut for a week.

“Fine, but I am not going to pet your head. You are not an overgrown housecat, no matter how much you may act as one,” Brienne relents, but by the end of the movie, she brushes back a strand he has shaken into his eyes and halfway through the second movie, she actually runs her hand through his hair and he barely manages to remain still, instead of following her hand like foam graces a wave’s edge.

All things considered, Jaime feels re-energized for the next week and his little war campaign on Brienne’s heart. He likes to think of it as war, though she is not a thing to conquer despite her truly formidable walls, just to trounce the narrative she has set for herself.

Once, before that fatefully shitty night when a pipe in his first own apartment burst and Brienne had invited him to stay over until it was fixed (and then he never really left), they had talked about who they would be in Targaryen and Stark eras, both revealing their dreams about knighthood.

Already knowing her love for ridiculous, historical(ly inaccurate) romance novels, he had joked if she’d not like ballads written about her instead, but Brienne’s face had shuttered and she had reminded him that no one would go to war for her . “I would rather defend the innocent and fight than stay home a sad and unmarried maid,” she had concluded, before going off about Blue Knight and other warrior women of Tarth. Jaime had already known back then that in any lifetime she’d be worthy of many great songs - of love and otherwise. But the bridge of their friendship was tentative still and he had had no intentions of being the one to lay the siege on her heart.

And when he had wanted to, he had already been so deep in the annoying, best friend role and still so utterly not having his shit together he didn’t feel he had the right to start the march. Someone better would surely come along. Except no one has, three years later still, and Brienne seems to think it’s a sign she only deserves a photoshopped suit-hanger and Jaime would rather be pierced endlessly by her glowering and risk her friendship that he treasures above anything he has ever known, than passively let her continue believing that.

For now, he’s only dying because of work, as they are currently quite swamped. It doesn’t help at all that his brain is a little (or a whole lot, but who’s counting) occupied with various Romance-Brienne-So-Hard-She-Doesn’t-Know-What-Hit-Her strategies. His plans for Friday come to immediate stop when he arrives home and finds Brienne fallen asleep at the kitchen table, her laptop’s screensaver of pixelated Kingslayer and Blue Knight from their favorite cartoon bouncing around the screen. He had installed it the first week of living here and despite her initial grumbling, she has never changed or disabled it.

This would be easier if Brienne’s one quirk when working at home wasn’t changing her workspace every few hours, as if it helps her think. It’s one of her most restless habits and typically, Jaime finds it adorable, but now that he has to haul half-asleep Brienne to her room he… Who is kidding, he also finds it endearing.

“Jaime, I can walk,” she scoffs, but leans on him anyway and when he helps her lay down on the bed, her eyes are soft and a little dazed and he thinks of early spring mornings, when nothing but the birds and clouds are awake yet, against the blueness of the sky.

Brienne curls up and he pulls a blanket over her and she gives him a sleepy smile, so warm that the consistent pull toward her feels anchored to the sun itself. He follows it and leans down and presses lips to her forehead. She exhales softly and when he pulls back, her eyes are closed, but there’s an almost sad turn to her lips.

“I really don’t want this to end, Jaime.” Her voice is so quiet he almost doesn’t hear - he wouldn’t if he wasn’t so close. His heart does an odd thing in his chest, something that would make it more of a rope dancer than a lion leaping through a ring of fire.

Jaime brushes a strand of her hair back, gently, in an attempt to reassure what odd fear has burrowed into her heart. He shouldn’t be so happy every time Brienne expresses she doesn’t want to lose him, but even her brilliant light can’t erase generations of carefully cultivated selfishness. “It doesn’t have to.”

“But it will.” And then she nuzzles deeper in the pillow and he knows this is a conversation to be finished (or maybe repeated) when she’s actually awake. Quietly, he walks out of the room and when the door has shut gently, bounces toward the living room with a grin that everyone would tell him begs for a punch.

There is hope for him yet.

[baekuaena]

Shadows

Zoe and Baekhyun have known each other since they were childs. Brother and sister, best friends, lovers. Shadows

Destiny is not etched in stone. Fate doesn't exist.

And sometimes the shadow must be set free

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

You are sitting on this comfortable chair, made of red velvet and wood. In any other occasion, you would take some time to appreciate the caress of velvet on your skin and how the cushion you are sitting on seems to conform to the shape of your body; But your muscles are tense and your mind is only concentrated on one idea.

You glance nervously to your left. He is standing by the window, his arms to the sides, staring at you as if he is waiting for you to say something, but it would be too risky to talk to him right now.

-        Do you know why you are here?

You turn your head toward the doctor. He is quite old, in his fifties as the wrinkles on the corner of his eyes can attest. His hair is white, and his eyes are light blue, like the color of a blue lagoon on which the sun is mirrored on a hot day of summer. His entire person seems to have been through some bleaching process that wiped every bright color out of him. He looks like a living ghost.

-        My mother asked me to come to this appointment, Doctor, you answer vaguely.

-        Do you know why? The doctor insists.

You look to your left again. He is smiling at you and, in his crescent eyes, you can read love and support. He mouths “I love you” slowly and distinctly and you feel your heart getting warmer in your chest.

You are not alone in this.

-        I do not know Doctor, you lie.  

----------------------------------------------------

Little Zoe is playing on the playground. There is this big sandpit, but it has been raining for a week and her mother forbid her to go in it. Instead of digging into the sand, she has set her eyes on the swings and is now moving her legs backward and forward in order to move a bit. Sadly, she is a little thing, and the wind is blowing. Despite all the efforts she puts in, she does not swing much.

-        Mom! Please push me!

Her mom is reading a book, sitting on a bench. As usual when she reads, Zoe’s voice doesn’t distract her from her reading and the little girl sighs. She hopes her mother will find her a dad someday and that the two of them will give her a little sister or a little brother so that she would have a playmate at last.  

-        Do you want me to push you?

Zoe jumps out of the swing with fright and turns over quickly, ready to defend herself like her mother has taught her.

It is with her two hands raised in front of her face in a defensive position and fright into her green eyes that she meets Baekhyun for the first time.

Zoe and Baekhyun are eight.

---------------------------------------------------

-        As you probably already know, I have been talking with your mother. You know she is genuinely concerned about you.

You roll your eyes. When will that old hag finally let you go and let you live your life on your own?

-        To be honest Doctor, I’m only here to please my mother. I don’t really know what she has told you but I’m a hundred percent sure that everything is fine with me. I should apologize for wasting your time.

You smile and behind the frowning doctor, he raises his thumb into the air in sign of encouragement.

The doctor writes something down on his papers and you sigh. Outside, the sun is shining. You and Baekhyun should be having a picnic by now and not being trapped in this rathole.

-        She told me you have a friend, the doctor says. I think she mentioned his name. Does the name Baekhyun ring any bell?

----------------------------------------------------

Zoe is in mathematics class. She hates maths. Everybody hate maths, why do they need to know about stupid Pythagoras and Thales; the men have been dead for centuries.

The teacher is rambling on and Zoe is not paying any attention. Three tables away from her, Baekhyun is half asleep, his hand supporting his head, but he is placed in such a way that the teacher can’t tell if he is asleep or studying ardently.

You little sh-, she thinks

She grabs the handmade peashooter she has made from a ballpoint pen and hasten to insert a tiny ball of paper in it. From the way Baekhyun’s head is turned, she is sure she can hit him in the eye and wake him up. She approaches the peashooter to her lips, takes a deep breath and blows.

The insult that comes out of Baekhyun’s mouth when the paper ball hits him is covered by the school bell ringing and Zoe laughs out loud.

-        The fuck you’re doing Zoe, grouches Baekhyun as they both meet outside of the class. You know that the peashooter wasn’t supposed to be used on you or me!

He rubs his right eye and moan in pain.

-        Did I really hurt you?

Zoe is not laughing anymore. She just wanted to wake her best friend up because she was bored, not make him a one-eyed man.

Baekhyun is still rubbing his eye and Zoe can’t tell yet but he’s smiling.

-        No you didn’t, you idiot, Baekhyun exclaims suddenly as he opens his arms and imprisons his friend with them.

He passes one arm around her neck and rubs the top her head with his fist. She screams, outraged by the little game of her friend and yells at him to let her go. He laughs.

Zoe and Baekhyun are thirteen.

----------------------------------------------------

-        Zoe, do you know who I am? Do you recognize me?

You frown. The doctor is looking at you as if you were some kind of freak.

-        I’ve never seen you before, how the hell am I supposed to recognize you?

The doctor writes something down on his papers again. The friction of the fountain pen on the paper is the only sound in this cold wooden room. Why do doctors always have wooden rooms to receive patients? It doesn’t feel warm or comfortable, it just feels intimidating.

By the window, Baekhyun finally moves and places himself just behind the doctor to read over his shoulder. From the look on his face, you are guessing that what the doctor is writing is not a delightful novel and your heart is tightening into your chest.

-        Zoe, if you don’t remember me, do you remember Baekhyun?

-        What an odd question, of course I do.

The doctor writes something again and you stretch your neck to read some of it, in vain.

-        Who is Baekhyun then?

Behind the doctor, Baekhyun looks up and stares at you. You blush slightly. You have confessed to Baekhyun years ago but having to do it again all of a sudden because of the doctor pressuring you is not that easy.  Nevertheless, the words come out of your mouth without you really thinking about them beforehand.

-        He is the love of my life and my soulmate.

----------------------------------------------------

It is a Saturday afternoon and Zoe and Baekhyun are walking on the coastal path. The sea is calm, the wind is playing gently with their hair and some seagulls are flying in the sky.

-        There, says Baekhyun while pointing to a dirt road. Follow me.

Zoe is a little nervous but the excitation she feels surpasses her apprehensions.

-        You’re sure we’re not gonna get caught? She asked while going deeper into the dirt path.

The tall grasses are whipping her cheeks and one tickles her nose. She sneezes and Baekhyun turns around.

-        You’re not a baby anymore Zoe, he says while imprisoning her head between his hands. We are sixteen now, you need to act like an adult!

Usually she would have made a face or spit on his face as a joke, but his eyes buried into hers are making her fuzzy, her legs are weak, and her heart skipped a beat.

Baekhyun and Zoe have been best friends for years now. They don’t have any squad like the other kids, they’re not invited to birthday parties or class gatherings. They only have each other and they have never needed a third person.

Zoe and Baekhyun. Baekhyun and Zoe. Each other's shadows.

But lately, Baekhyun is different. He is taller, his jawline is showing, his shoulders are broader and his arms stronger. The other day when they went to the beach, Zoe noticed Baekhyun’s body for the very first time while he was running to the sea. His back is muscular now and so are his abbs.

-        Let me go, grunts Zoe.

The two of them continue their way into the tall grass and finally reach an area clear of any plants.

-        We can sit there!

Baekhyun sits cross-legged and looks up at Zoe, still standing up.

-        What are you doing, wuss, sit down! Do you have the lighter?

Zoe sits next to her friend and hands over the lighter to him . Baekhyun seizes it, smiling, before taking the cigarette they stole from Baekhyun’s father out of his pocket. He puts the cigarette in his mouth and Zoe’s gaze lingers over his pink wave-shaped lips.

She thinks it would be nice to kiss them.

---------------------------------------------------

Baekhyun is smiling at you now.

-        I love you too, he says.

You know the doctor can’t hear the voice of your beloved, so you just remain quiet. You will talk to Baekhyun once you are out of this consulting room. You can’t wait to kiss him, to feel his breath on your skin and his warmth surrounding you. This room is cold and unwelcoming.

-        Your mother says she often hears you talking to Baekhyun? Continues the doctor. Is it true?

You deny it. No good would come from saying the truth, the doctor would just think you are crazy and send you to the mental hospital.

-        So you know that Baekhyun is no longer with us?

You chuckle. Nothing they can say could change the only fact that will always remain true as long as you will be alive. Baekhyun is your shadow. You are his shadow.

They will never be able to understand. 

---------------------------------------------------

It’s prom night. Zoe is eighteen.

She is wearing a long red dress and high heels that hurt her feet. She tied her hair into a complicated bun and some strands of hair are stuck into her earrings.

She is not used to be dressed like this. She never wears heels, she prefers sneakers, and she thinks dresses are not as comfortable as the old pair of jeans she always wears.

But tonight is prom night. Tonight, Baekhyun is taking her to prom and she can’t wait to see him all dressed up in his suit.

It is 7pm. The doorbell rings.

Zoe is sitting on a chair in the kitchen and she doesn’t stand up right away. She is nervous and her head aches a little. Tonight, is the big night. Tonight, she is going to confess to Baekhyun. Tonight, she is going to tell him that she is in love with him.

Tonight, she wants to finally taste these lips she has been dreaming about for two years.

The doorbell rings again and she finally opens the door.

-        Hello Darling, says Baekhyun in a weird British accent.

Perched on her high heels, Zoe loses her balance for half a second. He has never looked more handsome. His dark hair, usually done coconut style, are styled and revealing his forehead. His white shirt fits closely to his chest and Zoe can easily guess the pectorals underneath.

When Baekhyun’s eye fall on Zoe, they open wide and his jaw drops.

They face themselves for a couple of seconds without exchanging any words. Outside, the night has fallen, and they can hear the kids playing from the playground. The same playground where they met each other for the first time ten years ago.

-        You are breathtaking, Baekhyun whispers .

His voice is so low Zoe is not sure if he is speaking to her or to himself., but the compliment warms her heart and she feels like she could take wings.

-        Do you want to drink something? She asked shyly.

Her hands are moisty, and her heart is racing into her chest, echoing into her ears. She would not be surprised if Baekhyun could hear it as well.

-        No it’s ok.

Baekhyun clears his throat, finally taking his eyes off Zoe. He seems agitated.

“No it’s ok”. 

Those are the last words Zoe will ever hear from Baekhyun’s living mouth. 

They go into the car together, both of them awkward for the other look astonishing and they both can’t think straight anymore.

---------------------------------------------------

Zoe was in love with Baekhyun since she was sixteen. Baekhyun realized he was in love with her best friend when she opened that door and appeared looking like a princess in that long red dress.

Prom night was written in their history. This night was supposed to be their first dance, their first awkward smiles, their first kiss.

Zoe knew she has met the one she would share her life with. She knew Baekhyun was her soulmate.

Somehow, they both knew it from the moment they met in the playground.

They would have shared a beautiful life together. Baekhyun wanted two kids, she would have given them to him. She wanted to be a writer; she would have written novels for kids. He wanted to be a lawyer; he would have been the best lawyer of the State.

Even destiny can be changed. Even what seems to be etched in stone can be erased. Fate doesn’t exist.

Unless fate is that green car and this old drunk man that collided with Baekhyun’s car.

Unless fate is that green car and this old drunk man that broke eleven bones in Zoe’s body.

Unless fate is that green car and this old drunk man that took Baekhyun’s life.

---------------------------------------------------

There is a tear on Baekhyun’s cheek, and you can’t understand why. He smiles, but you can tell from the look in his eyes that his heart is aching.

-        Zoe, the doctor sighs… I need you to come back to reality now….

You frown. Baekhyun wipes the tear out of his face.

The doctor opens a drawer of his desk and gets a piece of paper out of it. He puts it in front of you.

The page is damaged and crinkles as if someone’s tears fell on it. You come closer to it, intrigued as you recognize your own handwriting.

-        What is this? you ask.

The doctor stands up. He seems sad somehow.

-        You should read this… This is a letter you wrote in this office a week ago, in front of me. You made me promise to show it to you if your delirium comes back…. I don’t have any other choice.

Without any further explanation, he leaves the room.

-        What the fuck is going on?

You look at Baekhyun, searching for any kind of explanation. He is silently crying, and you feel like your heart is falling into an abyss.

-        Baekhyun, what’s going on?

He avoids the desk and gets closer to you. You don’t really know why but your throat is choked up and some tears are already spilling down your cheeks.

He kneels down next to you and take your hand in his. The warmth of his skin reassures you for a moment, but the expression of sadness on his face just makes you want to run away forever.

-        It’s going to be ok my love, he murmurs.

He kisses you slowly on the lips. Your kiss is wet and salty from all the tears and the taste of iodine reminds you of the beach Baekhyun and you used to go to as teenagers.

-        Read the letter baby, he says while caressing your cheeks.

You are afraid. You don’t know what is on that paper, but you are aware that it contains a horrible truth you don’t want to know.

Or maybe deep inside you, you already know.

Your hands are shaking when you take the paper. This is your handwriting indeed.

And as the reading goes, you realize the paper crinkles from the tears you shed on it a week ago.

---------------------------------------------------

Hello Zoe

This is Zoe. Your lucid self.

If you read this, it is because doctor Zelner’s treatment didn’t work, and your delirium has come back. I am so sorry for you. I am so sorry for myself for failing on doing better.

I am sure you remember the car accident. The one when you were eighteen and heading to the prom with Baekhyun. Your knee still hurts when it’s raining outside.

On that day, Baekhyun died.

I don’t know how deep in your delirium you are. Sometimes, you know that Baekhyun is just a ghost and you are just convinced he came back to live by your side forever as a spirit. Sometimes, you don’t remember his death and think you two are married and have kids. One day, you tried to drive them to school and scared a poor teacher.

You tried to cope in your own way. You are still trying.

I know how painful it is. I know you love him. I know you miss him. I know it because I love and miss him too.

Please Zoe, you have to let him go. It’s been twenty years. He has been gone for twenty years…

I think he loved us. He never had the chance to told us but I’m certain he did. He has been a brother and a best friend to us. He would have been a boyfriend, a husband and a father if life wasn’t that cruel.

You will always love him, but you have to let him go.

You are not his shadow anymore. Don’t let him be yours.

I love you Zoe. Take care of us.

And be brave.

[kikcalum-blog]

no more bad days (part one)

prompt: after losing their home, shawn and his girlfriend must learn to navigate their newfound hardships of life together. [reader insert!]

words: 3.2k

category: fluff, some angst

a/n: i did not copy this from another user because i am that other user. thank ya:)

Shawn stuffed his face further down into his scarf as the two fought against the harsh snow falling down upon them. He held Y/N close to his side and gripped his suitcase a little tighter, grunting when he felt her begin to slow down.

“C'mon, baby.” Shawn nudged her gently, motioning just up the road. “We’re almost there, see?”

The city’s streets were unbearably silent save for the whizzing of freezing air that seeped into their skin and chilled their bones. He could tell she was extremely tired and cold just as he was, but he refused to let her give up now when they were so close.

He could hear her sigh of relief when he finally reached out to open a door, warm air hitting them instantly. Shawn quickly dragged her into the building and turned around to face her, examining her better now that they weren’t being berated by the snowfall. Her arms seemed stuck to her body and nearly her entire face was covered to keep out the cold, only her snow-frosted eyelashes peeking out.

Shawn moved his hands to begin unraveling her many layers until he finally saw her face, her pout and her flushed cheeks shattering his heart. She said nothing as she did the same for him, taking special care to run her delicate fingers over his cool cheek that was finally beginning to regain its color. Once they were finally done and settled in, they took a look around.

The place wasn’t the fanciest, of course; nobody ever expected a homeless shelter to be. The wallpaper around them had begun to split from the base and rot, giving the room a brown tint. The floors were of a hard wood that creaked with every other step one took, and the light overhead flickered with the promise of a short; however, anything was better than their former spot in an alley.

Y/N clung to him tightly as he walked up to the front desk, clearing his throat to catch the attention of the redhead sitting there.

“Excuse me?” Shawn prodded, biting down on his bottom lip. “Do you all have room for two more?”

The woman slanted her lips as if she were considering whether or not to tell them the truth- whether or not to let them stay the night. Her eyes flitted between the couple seemingly in judgement but it was the pleading look in Y/N’s eyes that finally broke her down.

“We have one cot left.” The woman let up, nodding her head slowly. “Write your names here and go through those doors, it shouldn’t be hard to find.”

Y/N pursed her lips to fight back any protest or outburst she was conjuring in her mind, instead deciding to merely pick up the pen, write their names, and grab Shawn’s hand to drag him into the next room.

The room wasn’t anything North of what they were expecting. The dimly lit room was packed with people just like them, scattered around on the many cots provided. In this sea of people were whole families, single men and women, and couples alike. Coughs and sneezes were commonplace and the smell was unlike anything they’d ever witnessed, but as they made their way to the one empty cot, all they felt was numbness and none of the aforementioned things mattered.

“Put your stuff down, let’s go get something to eat.” Shawn whispered, making sure to keep his hands on her at all times. He knew how anxious she could get in crowded situations like this but he would help her in any way he could, just as she always did for him. Y/N did as he said and set her things down on and next to the cot, following closely behind him as he led them to the kitchen portion of the shelter.

The tomato soup was certainly nothing special, and the same could be said for the extremely hard, half piece of grilled cheese that went along with it. Y/N sat across from Shawn in the relatively empty kitchen, presuming that everyone had gotten their food earlier. He noticed she hadn’t spoken a single word since they started their journey to the shelter, always having her head down low and lips pressed tightly together.

She was trying her best to be strong for him and she knew that if she spoke, the quiver in her voice would give her true pain away. She certainly didn’t need to hide this from him as he felt her pain all the same, but Y/N was stubborn, so Shawn let it go for the time being, instead focusing on ways to make her smile.

Shawn pretended to bite down onto his piece of grilled cheese as if it were a brick, immediately retaliating and wincing jokingly. This brought that smile of hers that he loved dearly back to her face, her cheeks heating up. Even at times like this, he was still the same dork she’d always known.

He continued on with these gimmicks and jokes until he was down to his last spoonful of tomato soup, downing it quickly. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and it was then that he let out a roaring burp, his own eyes growing wide at the intensity of it. This was what it took for a genuine laugh to rip from Y/N’s throat, her eyebrows raised in disbelief.

“Oh my god, that was disgusting!” She continued to laugh, wiping away a tear at the corner of her eye. Shawn smiled brightly, relishing in the serenity of her beautiful laugh. It was a laugh that could mend spirits and souls and the warm sound did that for him every time he felt down, but it wasn’t often that he heard it nowadays, so he cherished this moment dearly.

He was surprised when she retaliated with a burp of her own, the loud sound ripping through her chest and into the small room’s air. His jaw dropped in disbelief that the huge noise just came from the small girl and she couldn’t control her giggles, covering her mouth with her hands.

“And you had the nerve to talk about my burp!” Shawn laughed, running a hand through his hair and shaking his head. When her laughs finally died down (To his dismay) she reached her hands out to grab his, staring into his eyes in deep thought. This sudden change in attitude worried him and he squeezed her fingers, cocking his head.

“What are you thinking about?” He inquired.

Y/N chewed on her lip and he could tell that she was tripping over herself, wondering how to word her next sentence. She eventually took a deep breath and shrugged, soothingly rubbing her thumbs over Shawn’s knuckles.

“I dunno, I just..” She trailed off, gaze flickering down to the table. “I think it’s time to call your parents.”

She felt Shawn begin to pull away with a groan which was the opposite of what she wanted, gently pulling him back as she insisted, “Shawn, maybe you’re being too modest. I know we were doing okay for a while but you know we can’t keep on like this. Something’s gotta give.”

Shawn bit the inside of his cheek and looked at her; really looked at her. The bags under her eyes were dark and deep, her skin dry and lips chapped. She’d definitely seen better days; Hell, they both had. He frowned at this and guilt overtook him. He was always saying that he’d do anything for her, so if that meant putting his dignity aside to get her out of the cold, he’d do it.

“Okay.” He agreed, gravitating back towards her again. She smiled as he continued, “I’ll call them first thing in the morning, I promise. Now hurry up and eat your brick sandwich so we can sleep.”

-

Shawn situated himself as close as he could to Y/N on their tiny shared cot, draping both of their heavy jackets over top. She pushed her back further into his chest and he snaked an arm over her side, nuzzling his face into her neck with a sigh.

Mostly everyone else in the shelter had turned in for the night save for a few people holding conversations here and there.

Time passed with the two merely breathing with one another, the feeling calming both of them. He wasn’t sure if she was sleep or not as he hadn’t heard her speak in a while and he didn’t want to ask in fear of waking her up, so he only resorted to running his fingers over her arm, shutting his eyes tiredly.

“I dunno if you’re asleep or not, but I just have something to say.” Shawn whispered as low as he could, taking a deep breath. “I love you more than words can describe. I know you want to give up sometimes but we can get through this as long as we stick together. I’ve got us, okay?”

Shawn wasn’t sure what answer he was expecting but when he heard her soft snore confirming that she was sleep, a warm smile blossomed on his lips, heart at ease knowing that she was resting; that she was okay.

He breathed out a short laugh and relaxed his muscles, knowing that everything would work out in the end.

“I’ve got us.”

-

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Y/N asked, unloading her suitcase from the taxi.

Shawn was unsure as he stared up at his childhood home. For most, returning home after years would instill happiness and good memories, but not for him. The falling-out he’d had with Karen and Manny left their relationship nearly nonexistent and coming back was the last thing he wanted to do, but he knew he had no choice.

He’d met Y/N when he was only 16; high school sweethearts, and made the decision to move out with her when he was only 18. His parents were never particularly fond of her to begin with and that was what stirred the pot and started the entire feud. Karen and Manny warned him of how stupid of an idea it was, saying that she wasn’t right for him and she wasn’t responsible enough. Shawn was set in his beliefs that he was making the right choice, though, spawning a series of bitter fights. It hurt that his family wasn’t accepting of the love of his life, but he had to make a decision.

And two years later, after cutting off his family, here he was, right back on their doorstep.

Shawn held onto Y/N’s hand tightly when the door swung open, revealing Karen standing with her arms over her chest. Her expression was hard to make out, a mix of happiness and anger all at once. Y/N shifted uncomfortably on her feet when she reminded herself that she was the reason for Karen’s latter emotion.

His mother stepped to the side and allowed the two inside, granting Shawn a “Welcome home”.

Shawn squeezed his girlfriend’s hand as they walked inside, instantly hit with a wave of emotions. The air was thick when Manny walked out of the kitchen, wiping his hands on a paper towel. He eyed the two up and down before holding his hand out to Y/N, making her eyes widen in surprise.

“Nice to see you again.” Manny greeted, shaking her hand when she finally took it. “I wish it were under better circumstances.”

“Y-Yeah.” Y/N nodded, letting go nervously. “Me too.”

Karen cut her eyes at Manny’s hospitality and sighed, nodding to Shawn. “You both can sleep in Shawn’s old bedroom. Make yourselves at home.”

The couple could tell that she didn’t mean that but Shawn gave her a tight-lipped nod anyway, wasting no time in dragging Y/N and their luggage up the stairs and to his room. As soon as they’d stepped through the doorway he closed the door, groaning loudly and going to crash on the queen-sized bed.

“Well, that could have gone a lot worse.” Shawn muttered, running his hands over his face. When she didn’t reply he lifted his head from the bed, opening his eyes to see her still stationary at the door, nervously twiddling with her fingers. “Babe, what’s wrong?”

Y/N shook her head and took a few timid steps forward to sit on the edge of the bed. “I dunno. I feel so hated here. And I was expecting to, but now that it’s actually happening, it’s worse than I thought.”

Shawn frowned and sat up, scooting to sit next to her and wrap his arms around her. He leaned down to make sure she saw his face as he insisted, “They don’t hate you, Y/N. If anything, they’re more mad at me- you know that. But none of this is our fault. All that matters now is that we have food and shelter, and we can finally get back on our feet.”

Y/N wasn’t convinced though, changing the subject. “’M tired, I think I’m going to take a nap.”

Shawn considered trying to drill his words of encouragement into her brain more but he knew deep down that she wouldn’t listen to him. So, he let it go, allowing her to strip down and situate herself underneath his covers. He leaned down to kiss her forehead, lingering there for a second before disconnecting.

He would do anything for her, and he hoped that she knew that.

Shutting off the light, he exited his bedroom and mentally prepared himself for what was next to come. He knew that as soon as he walked down the stairs, his parents would begin their skepticism, their “I told you so"s, and their snarky comments. And he was completely right.

"So what happened exactly?” Karen instantly questioned when Shawn walked into the kitchen. She stared down into her teacup, stirring it slowly. Manny leaned against the kitchen counter with his arms crossed, choosing to remain silent.

Shawn cleared his throat and pocketed his hands. “We couldn’t make it with the jobs we had. Her college fees were piling up and the apartment fees increased and it was all too much.”

Karen stopped stirring for a few pulses before looking up at her son sadly, “I told you moving in with her was a bad idea-”

“Karen, stop.” Manny ordered sternly, shooting darts at his wife. “Look, the past is the past. We all make mistakes and ours was being so quick to judge. He needs our help now, isn’t that all that matters to you?”

She took a sip of her tea and looked between the two men, her mind trying to conjure a response. Deep down, she knew that Manny was right, and her bitterness was uncalled for. Still, she couldn’t completely let it go, settling with, “Dinner will be ready in an hour. Let Y/N know, please.”

It wasn’t much, but it was progress, and Shawn would wholeheartedly accept it for the time being.

-

“So, how do you all plan to get back out there?” Manny questioned, pushing up his glasses and stabbing at a piece of broccoli on his plate. It was more than awkward as both couples sat on opposite sides of the table, the air thick with tension once again. Shawn began to speak up but Y/N interrupted him.

“I have an interview tomorrow!” She sprung up, sporting a fake smile. “At Google. If I get the job, it could change everything for us.”

Karen pursed her lips, looking up from her plate for a second. “What do you do?”

“Software engineering!” Y/N nodded, making Shawn smile. She always got excited when she talked about her work and he adored her for it.

Karen hummed, staring at the girl. “Don’t you think that’s a bit far-fetched? You haven’t even gotten through college yet, why would they choose you?”

Shawn felt his anger rising already, his jaw clenching as his eyes cut up toward his mom. “Mom, I’m a high school dropout trying to be a musician. She’s doing much better than me, so I’d appreciate if you’d just drop this act.”

Everyone was shocked by his sudden outburst, the room quickly going silent once again. The dinner was over as soon as it started, and in this moment, it was like he’d never left home. His loved ones were still split and he didn’t want to choose between the two, but his family was making that hard.

He clenched his jaw and stood up from the table, grabbing his plate and motioning for Y/N to do the same.

“We’ll be in my room.”

-

“I know you want to defend me, but maybe that wasn’t a good idea.” Y/N hummed, looking up from her plate and at Shawn who was sitting in front of her on the bed. Her fork continued to lazily poke at the meatloaf Karen made as she reasoned, “We are staying in their house, after all.”

Shawn sucked at his teeth and shook his head stubbornly, “I don’t care, baby. They’re being assholes to you for no reason and I’ll live on the streets again before I let anyone disrespect you.”

She remained silent and Shawn went back to eating whatever food he had left, presuming she would do the same, but when he heard a sniffle come from her, confusion washed over him. He quickly looked up just in time to watch a single tear sliding down her cheek, her lips quivering sadly.

“No, no,” Shawn began to panic, quickly moving his plate to the bedside table and going to sit next to her. “Don’t cry- What’s wrong? Talk to me.”

More tears continued to fall by the second and Shawn pulled her into him, allowing her to wrap her arms around his middle and bury her face in his chest. Y/N didn’t hold back the sounds of her crying either, the loud sobs and heaving filling the room.

“I just don’t know what’s wrong with me,” She cried, squeezing him a little tighter. “Why don’t they like me? Why aren’t I ever enough for anyone?”

Shawn shushed her and gently pet her head, his heart hurting at the thought of her in pain. “No, please don’t say that. You’re enough for me, and when we get back on our feet, we don’t have to worry about any of this anymore. This is just a bad day, and we’ve been having a lot of those lately, but we’ll be alright.”

She stifled another cry and bit down on her lip, lifting her head to look up at him. He frowned seeing her eyelashes coated in tears and her face flushed as she clung to him.

“You promise?” She asked, voice no higher than a whisper.

He granted her a tiny smile and leaned down to kiss her nose, lingering for a few seconds before brushing a strand of hair away from her face lovingly. “I promise, Y/N. Come on, let’s go pick out your interview outfit, we gotta have you lookin’ snazzy.”

This comment elicited a giggle from her and the sound was music to his ears- Confirmation that his own words were true, and that everything would be okay.

So long as they had each other.

[ofieugogyshz]

Baked apple and honey for lance?

baked apple: how have your feelings for your f/o changed over time?

They've!!!! Well not "calmed down", as there's still a lot of excitement towards him. But, like, you know the difference between a storm on the sea and the calm? One's way more tumultuous and full of this energy and charge, and the other seems calm, but there's still this sense that it could swallow you up if it pleased? ....that sounds like a horrific and not very romantic parallel and like it"s not working the way i'm intending, so um! It's matured into something more tameable? It's like, a puppy vs a grown dog! It's not that it isn't any less excited to see you!! It's just learned to control itself better!! Mostly. I still love him a lot and would irl marry him if i got the chance, which is saying a lot to anyone who's talked with me about my actual romo [or not so romo, in my case] feelings on things like partnership and domesticity and marriage et al. And what was once superficial feelings, feelings that grew from something I felt ashamed of, there now exists this depth, this huge pool of very real and true love, for someone who's done so much for me with so little to base it off of. Even if I'm still doing this ten, twenty, thirty years into the future, spouseless irl, i still can't wait to see how it grows based off what it's grown from. It just... I just wanna keep coming back to a sea parallel. It started from a few drops of water on a flat surface. Very shallow, just, nothing intending to stick, not even really there. And now... Now it's as fathomless and as deep as the sea. I will love him for all eternity, at this point. And I'm okay with that.

I"m trying to think of any other changes that aren't about to be answerwd in the next q, but i guess i'll come back if i do.

honey: why did you fall for your f/o?

HONESTLY..... IT WAS ACCIDENT. I FELT SO BAD FOR HOW THIS HAPPENED FOR SO MANY YEARS, THAT IT LITERALLY TOOK SEEING MULTIPLE TIMES THE ONE POST THAT IS SOME PSYCH KID TALKING ABOUT HOW LOVE'S AVERAGE "INFATUATION" STAGE IS LKKE, 2 YEARS, AND HOW REAL LOVE IS A CHOICE THAT COMES AFTER, FOR ME TO REALIZE..... THERE IS NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF!!!! also it just sounds like an inversion or subversion or something of the "fake lovers" trope fnfmfhd

BUT OKAY SO LIKE, you know hkw when you were young, and if you're here you probably did this anyways, you would like, rewrite episodes of stuff or whatever have you so that it'd be like, thw episode but with you in it? Just. Self insert yourself into the story, the plot, what have you. Didn't matter how, what the story was, you just wanted to be in there. I just wanted to be cool and one-up ash okay. So like, i had had this on-going story for like, awhile now. Months? Who knows, doesn't matter. And then Lance's first half his episodes came out, and it was either that one or next week's, that i was just like, "mmmm.... Of the many ways I shall rewrite and explore this, what if... I was his girlfriend? Ah yes, makes perfect sense. Love those moments of WHAAAAAAT only for us to go right back to business and have it never brought up again because i"m all about the adventure and too young to even have an inkling of aromanticism, let alone know it or understand it. Yes. Let's do that. We shall be the girlfriend of the one guy that actually *does* save the day and it's because *I* helped! Ha! Praise me now, fans! Now people will HAVE to accept me as good/cool!"

I had a lot of self-esteem issues back then, for unfortunate reasons.

Anyways, the point was that me "dating" Lance was such a small footnote, a one-off joke/line, that it honestly didn"t even figure into my plans for a typical rewrite of many . it was just a line and move on, that's it, let's go back to the important stuff, ie plot.. Actually I think I also was just bored and so many other girls in the hall/classes would be doing the whole OMG!!!! N*SYNC OR BACKSTREET BOYS OR WHATEVER IS SO HOT!!!! I don't remember if they were still populsr at this time, but you get the point. And I, completely uninterested in celebrities and only with cartoons and books as my primary source of *anything* exemplary of a presumably male s/o, had been looking out anyhow for something to be attracted to. I honestlt didnt think he even looked good for a few years t b h. So shallow. Looking back, i know it was just one of the ways I hyper performed amatonormality (and boy, did i ever do that on the daily to the point of it literally causing me daily distress that I lacked, of all things, a boyfriend), but...

Somehow, RATHER QUICKLY ACTUALLY, i just... Clicked into liking him naturally??? Like, it was still somewhat shallow for a few years but where the surface was flat on the first episode, it slowly became a small dent, growing and growing on its own, and somewhere in high school it went from being superficial to like, i kind of wish he was real even tho odds are we wouldn't date to just. Sealing the deal somewhere by college!

TL;DR - i accidentally tricked myself into liking a character because i was bored and painfully aro and didn't know it. Now we're married.

.

.

Cc @dekiaibadchoices because i KNOW you're gonna love these answers

[prism-sakura-s]

Corner of Love

Ship: Royality, Analogical mention, mayybe future LAMP? idk I haven’t fully fleshed out the story yet oop-

Warnings: one word is all caps, I think that’s it?

I’m planning to include this as a short filler chapter in my Filipino!Patton fic I’m working on, so take this as a sneak peek I guess?

♫

It was another one of those nights where Patton and Virgil had chosen to switch dorms yet again (which was now every night, but they chose not to notice) so that they could stay with their respective significant others. Well, Virgil and Logan weren’t together just yet, but Patton and Roman had snickered about how they might as well be on more than one occasion.

Patton lay horizontally on the bottom bunk, his head just barely hanging over the edge, while Roman sat on the floor against the bed, cross-legged, chortling at a pun Patton had just made. The night so far had been joyful, the two having shared jokes, small talk and cutesy exchanges that would have made one’s teeth rot had they been there, as well as some biscuits from Patton’s hometown, left half-eaten in their container on the floor next to Roman. A biscocho or silvanas would be plucked from their jar from time-to-time, satisfying the two lovebirds dwelling deeply in each other’s presence.

The laughter quieted down, and Patton took a butterscotch from its plastic bag. Slowly tearing apart the wrapper, he pondered on what to say next. He held up the butterscotch against the light, crumpling the wrapper in his fist. Patton counted the nuts he could see - a fun little habit he liked to do before eating one - and popped the whole thing (yes, the whole thing, despite past experiences warning him not to) into his mouth at the same time an idea popped into his head.

“’Eew, couwd I bway sow’ ‘ewsic?” Patton asked, his voice muffled by the sticky treat.

Roman looked at him, soft amusement carved into his face. “Hm?” he responded.

Patton’s eyes widened, and he sat up straight to properly swallow the butterscotch. “Sorry!” he apologized, letting the last of the snack go down his throat.

“It’s okay, Bubbles,” Roman said, turning to face Patton. His bangs shifted as he tilted his head slightly. “What is it?”

The smile on Roman’s face still made Patton’s heart flutter, no matter how many times he saw it. He blushed and stuttered a bit before continuing his sentence.

“Could I play some music, Deer?” Patton inquired meekly.

Roman’s eyes brightened, the violet coloring his eyes seeming to illuminate for a second. “Of course!” He stood up and held out his hand to help Patton off the bed, despite the latter’s protests. Still, Patton took the offer, and stood up, keeping their hands together for a few more moments before detaching.

“What did you have in mind, Blossom?” Roman continued.

Patton beamed at Roman as he walked over to the messy desk strewn with projects and scratch paper covered in doodles. “I can’t be all three of the Powerpuff Girls, Ro-ro,” he teased.

“Hm, true,” Roman mused, walking up behind Patton. “You’ll just be Bubbles then.”

“You can be Blossom!” Patton grinned at Roman. “Virgil can be... Buttercup.”

“Wouldn’t that better fit Specs, though?” Roman queried. “Vee can be Bliss.”

“Who’s Bliss?” Patton looked back at Roman, quizzical.

Roman gasped. “You don’t know Bliss?”

“Is she from the reboot?”

“Yeah, her powers are really hard to control and are connected to her emotions. Super anxious about them, you know...” Roman waved a hand vaguely. “...destroying everything.” 

Patton hummed before turning back to the desk. “Honestly, that does sound like Virge,” he giggled.

Roman grinned. “Glad you agree.”

Patton lifted a stack of papers (it was hardly a stack, really, more like a small heap) to find his collection of CDs he moved temporarily (read: permanently) to Roman’s room in case he ever felt the need to listen to them while there. Under another stack of papers was Patton’s portable CD player. He smiled and picked up his CDs first, picking through them to find the album he was searching for.

Roman rested his chin on Patton’s shoulder. “What are you looking for?”

Patton suddenly came across what he was looking for, and brightened. He popped open the lid of the cover as well as the player’s, and inserted the disc. Patton shut the lid, pressed play, and turned to Roman, basically shining.

“Basil Valdez,” Patton chirped, holding up the CD container to Roman’s face. “One of my dad’s favorite singers, as well as mine. I haven’t been able to listen to him much since I moved here.”

The music started up, and the deep voice of Basil Valdez emanated from the player’s speakers.

Rivers belong where they can ramble

Roman perked up. Wait, wasn’t that...?

Eagles belong where they can fly (Rivers belong where they can ramble)

Patton noticed the look on his boyfriend’s face. “Ro? What’s up?”

Roman looked back at Patton, eyes wide. “Patton, is that what I think it it?”

“What?”

I’m not a river or a giant bird that soars to the sea But if I’m tied to anything, I’ll never be free

Roman glowed, a large grin forming on his face. “Patton, he’s singing Corner of the Sky!”

“Yeah, why-”

“That’s from Pippin, the musical by the brilliant Stephen Schwartz!”

“It is?!” Patton exclaimed, incredulous. That was a new piece of information!

“It is rather different though,” Roman noted, his hand on his chin. “I don’t seem to recognize these words.”

“It is a cover,” Patton said, shrugging.

Everything has its season Everything has its time

“Oh, I know this part!” Roman gleefully stated, confidence building up in him. “Show me a reason, and I’ll show you a rhyme!”

Patton watched lovingly as Roman sang his heart out to the lyrics. The energy he was giving off seemed to flow through the room, blanketing everything that dared witness it, Patton included.

Cats sit on the window sill Children sit in the snow Why do I feel I don’t fit in Anywhere I go?

“Rivers belong where they can ramble!” Patton suddenly interjected. “Eagles belong where they can fly!”

Roman laughed, and held out his hand for the second time that night, this time with a different invitation. And this time there were no protests or hesitation. Patton took it right away, and was immediately swept into a dance.

I’ve got to be where my spirit can run free Got to find my corner of the sky

The dance was sporadic, with no real direction. The two held each other and twirled around the room, keeping in time with the instrumental. Laughs sounded as one spun the other around, as they jumped and hopped from one point of the room to the other.

Every man has his daydreams Every man has his goal People like the way dreams have Of sticking to the soul

Thunderclouds have their lightning Nightingales have their song And don't you see I want my life to be Something more than long...

Of course, they sang the song all the way through. Sometimes they would pause to laugh or just to catch a breather, but they would always continue. And Patton drank in every moment of that experience. How the music seemed to  bound about the room like a cheerful dog, filling every crevice. How Roman was so graceful yet energetic. How his hair bounced and his eyes shone like stars. How Roman seemed to shine, to stand out to Patton. How beautifully their voices melded together.

And every move - every twirl, hop, jump, even every single simple step - brought Patton closer and closer to Nirvana.

Got to find my corner...

The song slowed down, and so did Roman and Patton.

of the...

The two grinned, basking in the presence of one another. They were together.

The music built back up again, and they simultaneously belted the last note:

“SKYYY!”

The song ended, and the two collapsed onto the bed. They let out breathy chuckles, and smiled at one another.

Roman took Patton’s hand in his, and kissed his knuckles. “Thank you for that, sweet Lilac. You are truly amazing.”

Patton blushed, and beamed wider. “Ikaw din, aking diwata,” he responded.

Roman booped their noses together, and they both giggled. “What does that mean?”

“You’ll find out soon enough,” Patton assured, cuddling up to Roman.

“With You” started playing, and the couple soon dozed off with peaceful smiles on their faces.

♫

I think my own tooth rotted while writing this ow-

[smolbeandrabbles]

Sway Pt.4 - Danny Rayburn x Reader (Bloodline)

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Here / Part 5 / Part 6  / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10

Author’s Note: Hello! As Promised! This was also meant to be Part 3 so this is NOT the Part 4 that I had to write twice!! I had a hard time finding lyrics I liked for this one... Then had a day where nothing but great lyrics came up on shuffle (oh the dilemma!) ... The reason that there is all the back and forth over her/you wearing stripes is because in my head every time I see your character she’s wearing stripes in some form. I’m really just calling myself out!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but “You” and my OCs. I don’t know how to drive a boat, or if the yacht I’m describing needs a crew (probably does)... Let me live a little in my fantasy land - Thank You! This all takes place in a single day, so no time markers this part.

Premise: A yachting trip out of Miami leads to you finally learning about Danny’s past...

Word Count: 8303 (see why it needed to be split?)

Warnings: Sexual Pre-Amble/Things get steamy... I can’t write smut, so this is as good as I give! Danny’s backstory is pretty prominent (nearly 1000 words of this)... Sarah’s death, his injury... everything...

And I ain’t been the same again, since you rolled in out of the blue, And I’ll never forget it, that moment when… I could feel the tide start turnin’, There was something different ‘bout the current, You were moving in so fast, I was frozen there in your path, Knew you were the one when I saw ya, Loved the way the sun looked on ya, So baby ‘til it breaks let’s take it all the way, Cuz lovin’ you is catching the perfect wave…

----

You're crashin' into me like waves on the coast Every time we talk, you move in close I don't want you stop, I don't want you to stop tonight We've got the last two glasses on a straw hut bar… String of white lights making your eyes shine tonight…

Your skin is begging to be kissed by a little more than the sun You take my hand in yours, you lean in and Your lips taste like sangria

Only thing I wanna do tonight, Is Drink you like a Spanish wine, Let you let this head of mine, Keep spinnin’ Spinnin’ around

You had arranged to meet Danny down by Miami waterfront this morning. He was taking an unusually large amount of days off for you and you weren’t sure if that was a good influence or not. Only, sometimes when you turned up at the restaurant Javi and Jason jokingly begged you to take Danny on another date somewhere so they would have a break from him. Sometimes these jokes resulted in Danny laughing… sometimes the boys both ended up with bruises. Today you were going to take him out on the water – you figured if he wasn’t going to take you out from Rayburn House any time soon, that you would simply take him out on a boat yourself.

You were checking your watch just as he strolled into view, bag over his shoulder, you’d asked him to come prepared – it looked like he’d heeded that... And right on time! He looked at you for a second, then a clever little smirk crossed his face as he pointed to your shirt of choice; “Sorry?? Almost didn’t recognise you without stripes!” “Oh shut up!!” Though he had you laughing. “See! I took it to heart!” He pointed at himself “I’m not wearing a shirt over a shirt! Just a T-shirt! Are you satisfied?” You folded your arms and leant back to give him the same up and down look he was always giving you – with a smirk “Not until it’s on the floor of my yacht. No.” “Oh.” And his face almost conveyed shock. “Well if that’s how you want it.” You feigned innocence, “What do you mean? We’re going swimming right!? Time to put your money where your mouth is ‘strongest swimmer in the Keys’.” You winked, turning back down the pier you walked passed him, but looked him up and down again as you brushed your arm against his “But… I guess I could go for a bit of that.”

 He started off down the pier to the smaller boats making you clear your throat “What are you..?” He pointed “You said boat!” “Yeah I did. You’re going the wrong way.” He looked to the yachts, all gleaming bright white in the Miami sun, all owned by millionaires. “You can’t be serious!” “I am.” “Your family owns one of these?!” “Two of these. My dad is in negotiation for like a liner type party boat... he doesn’t know if he’ll get it. The smaller one is pretty neat, then there’s the bigger one. Kinda modest, all the amenities. Doesn’t need a whole lot of crew to run.” He was still staring at the yachts in disbelief; “So, you in, Rayburn?” “Y-Yeah!” He hopped back up onto the jetty and you walked him a few rows down and then down another pier. On any given day people would be lounging around on here looking like they were on a modelling shoot or a music video. It only ever made you roll your eyes.

Eventually you stopped and Danny had a hard time taking it all in; “You sure this doesn’t need a crew?!” “Sometimes it would have one. Is that what you really want?!” “No. Not particularly I just ...” He made a sweeping gesture, “is it big enough?!” You walked across the gangplank “Yeah... possibly...” The several people who were finishing prepping the boat hopped across, greeting you in Spanish. After a quick conversation they took their leave ready to unmoor the boat at your discretion. Danny followed you across. “Welcome aboard Mr.Rayburn.” You took the stairs, keys in hand “Get settled in.” “Where we going?” “Not too far out, within a safe swimming zone...” You knew the perfect spot of clear water that still gave a spectacular view of the city. “Hey... Y/N! I was just thinking... there’s a marina up a little I think can take this boat.” “Yeah??” You inserted the key into the ignition “What about it?” “Well... there’s actually a restaurant there I’d love to take you too...” You smiled and turned the key as he ascended to join you. Now on the boat Danny could get an idea of the true scale... How much bigger could your Dad want to go? Having said that, scanning around, there were boats in the marina that still dwarfed this one. You gave the signal and the boat was unmoored, grinning you waved and yelled down; “Gracias Ignacio!” “De Nada Y/N!! Enjoy your trip!”

“You know what you’re doing right.” “Why, you wanna drive?” “My family own a boat!” “I know. It’s like the first thing my dad said.” So you let him help you guide her out onto open water and then you were cruising. “If you get a map and mark up your marina we’ll work it out, otherwise I got no plans.” “Can you get dressed up for this?” You raised an eyebrow at him curiously “Can you?” “…I was plannin’ on taking you somewhere when we got back, but if we can get out of Miami why not... y’know.” “I’ll have to check the wardrobe downstairs. I’m sure there’s something appropriate.” “Wardrobe?!” “Babe. Yeah, there’s a bedroom... look at this thing!” “So you weren’t kidding?” You smirked “Nope! But lemme get somewhere quiet first...” “That doesn’t sound like we’ll be in a bedroom” “Just once? Aw, Danny you sure know how to show a girl a good time” “And you should know not to say that to me Y/N” You couldn’t help but smirk behind your shades again as that edge to his voice came back. “Pretty sure that’s why I say it.” “So you’re telling me you like being a blushing mess? That can easily be arranged...” He walked up behind you, he got close, close enough for you to feel his body heat, he swept your hair to one side and then placed his hands on your waist; his grip was firm as his kissed you neck. At first you laughed, but as he put more pressure on your hips and grazed his teeth against your skin it turned into a sigh. “You probably shouldn’t do that when I’m driving.” If you lost focus you weren’t sure you had the nautical skills to get yourself back on track... and you weren’t too sure what Danny’s were yet.

 ***

 Finally you found it, slowing the boat down to a complete and gentle stop. “Voila!” He was sitting with his head tipped back, sunning himself but he swivelled to look back at Miami; “Okay. This is pretty good!” “Only pretty good.” You set about dropping the anchor “Look at the water!!” He removed his shades and leant over the railing, met by such a beautiful deep blue and nearly crystal clear. The sand dunes here were a little higher making for a shallower stretch of water. To not bank the boat also meant you knew what you were doing.

“Gorgeous.” He smiled turning back to you “You’ve outdone yourself.” “Guess I like to try... for you...” You sat down and wound your arms around him, resting your head against his chest. He wound an arm around your shoulders and kissed your forehead gently. “‘Bout time I really thanked you for that...” “You do thank me for that... you just don’t realise you’re doing it...” You inhaled deeply, taking him in again. You thought back to that very first shirt and then tried to think of the countless others you’d stolen from him - it made you giggle and then sigh; “Can’t we just stay here forever?? Just take Nolan and go...” “Your parents would miss you too much... and with the restaurant I...” He tipped his head “... maybe one day. It’s not like I couldn’t see myself doing it...”

***

 You spent a lot of time sunning yourselves up on the top deck, the only sound that of the sea and only motion the rock of the boat. Danny was plenty happy with this until you stole his Raybans. Then started laughing hysterically; "Oh that’s clever! Rayburn Raybans!" The look on his face remained less than impressed but didn't deter your laughter.

As the heat of the day really set in you both escaped onto the shaded lower level of the boat. You uncorked a bottle of wine and talked. Turned out that it didn't really matter how much time Danny and you spent together, you could talk about literally anything. Sometimes you thought that was because you just liked listening to his voice. Danny loved telling stories; you weren't sure he loved talking, and he wasn't the type of person that loved the sound of his own voice but he had so many stories... And each story he told could make you feel so much. His voice was cool and soothing and sometimes he poured sugar and could give you just the right look to almost drive you crazy...

Today you were just as into telling stories as he was; you were telling him about your first foray into dancing because of watching your parents, and how long it had taken you to find just the right piece of music, when you remembered something. "OH! Hang on a minute...!" You realised you'd stopped mid-story but this was suddenly so much more important. You ran back with your ipod and speakers, plugging it in you turned back to him, taking a breath at your admittance "I - Urhm- God this sounds so stupid now I think on it... I uh, haha... I... I kinda might have made us a playlist..." This piqued his interest "You made me a playlist?" You nodded enthusiastically, encouraged by his response. He laughed "No one has ever made me a playlist before..." He waved his hand at your modern technology "Aren't playlists supposed to be on mixtapes?" "...Yeah, when my parents were making them!" You folded your arms "Aw! C'mon Danny you're not THAT old." "Ow!" He gave you a look "No, c'mon, it's gotta be on tape!" "Does it matter what it's on!?... Will you let me play it?" "Go ahead" he nodded "Please do! I'm, kinda honored!" "Despite the fact it isn't on tape?" You teased, scrolling to shuffle it. "...Well, I'm equally scared..." The first song started playing, making him tilt his head "This sounds very Little Havana dance music to me..." You shrugged "It might kinda also be my dance fantasy playlist..." He put his glass down "You think about that?" You had him laughing again as he stood "You fantasise about dancing with me?" "I think you just like hearing me say it..." You let him take you in his arms and find a rhythm to the music "...When I watched my parents out on that dancefloor I used to always wonder when I would find someone who would know me that well... Who would command that floor with me; two halves of the same whole...With you, it’s different. But... I think I finally found him." You gave him your best teasing smile "So, if you think I don't fantasise about the way you choose to hold me when we dance.... Then you're missing out on what I'm thinking."

 ****

 "You ever think about swimming out here?" "No, I’m wearing a bikini for NO reason, Danny." He turned from looking at the clear water and eyed you up and down "No. You're wearing shorts and a man’s shirt." "It's called OVERSIZED and it’s a fashion trend, it’s not a man’s shirt!" He laughed and turned back to the water; “You're just jealous it's not yours." You could tell by the way his shoulders tensed and his stance changed that you'd hit a nerve. This time he turned back slowly.  However, as he did so you were shimmying your shorts off of your hips and unbuttoning your shirt.  You looked back up at him and the way his jaw tightened and couldn't help but smirk. He shook his head; "Damn. Okay... now I need to cool off..." He stepped up onto the edge of the boat. "You're going in in a shirt!?" You looked him up and down "Like that!?" "Yeah. You coming or what?"  With that he took a step backwards and disappeared from view. You rolled your eyes, dropped the shirt and slid your shades from your hair before crossing to the side of the boat. You tested the water temperature and, satisfied, took the step up and jumped in. Compared to the heat of the sun, once submerged the water was refreshing against your skin... You swam up to meet Danny who was waiting for you by the surface. "Quicker than expected. Maybe you'll give me a run for my money..." "Still gotta prove you're the strongest swimmer in the Keys." "Don't worry Darlin', I can do just that." He winked pushing himself back to the boat he wriggled out of his now soaked shirt and swam back to you. "Take a deep breath." "Why?" "Just... Do it..." He took his own and disappeared below the surface, did he want you to follow him or..? You gasped and almost swallowed salt water as he ran his hands up your legs, over your thighs; "DANNY!" He didn't stop, continuing his travel up your body, hips, stomach, pressing kisses there also... over your ribs and higher. GEEZ! What the heck is he--!? He resurfaced and you could have slapped him. “Saying my name is NOT taking a deep breath." "I could kill you Danny Rayburn." "You either want me to touch you or you don't?" He smirked playfully "You're just so full of mixed signals Y/N... Now take that breath." He kissed you once quickly, salt on his lips, making your protest useless as he sank again. This time you took one, and were glad you did as he promptly pulled you under. Within seconds you were back in his arms as he tangled your body with his. You had to lock your arms around him, now completely dependent on his swimming ability. You realised he was showing off, but you weren't sure this was exactly the way you'd had in mind. Then he kissed you, and it wasn't just a kiss. He ran his hands back over your body, pulling you even closer to him. He rolled you through the water to keep you closer to the surface but he didn't break the kiss; instead continuing to deepen it. You ran your fingers into his hair; knowing you were completely at his mercy. He untangled your legs from his, allowing you to keep buoyancy as he pulled you closer to him, almost so you were sitting on his lap underwater. You ran your hands back down his arms and across his chest. It made sense that Danny was a strong swimmer; the muscles under your fingertips were all toned for it. For a man now into his 40s, apart from his salt and pepper hair, there was nothing about Danny that made you believe he was that old for a second. He had a good 10 plus years on you, but damn when he was doing this it didn't feel like it.

You were beginning to get lightheaded, and it wasn't just the feel of your boyfriend. You pushed back against him releasing air bubbles. His reaction was so quick it could have been nothing more than instinct; pushing you towards the surface he didn't break until he made sure you had. "You okay!?" Panic edged his voice as he watched you take on air; "Yeah... Yeah I..." you laughed "You have the physique of a strong swimmer... I'll give you that much..!" He kissed you again, gentle, soft... and you looked at him, the way the sun broke over the water and hit his eyes... Today they really showed up his cute freckles and gave him an almost innocence, to couple with those ocean blue eyes and the grin he was now giving you as he gathered you back in his arms; "So... I win!?"

 He took you hand and you swam back to the boat back under the waves. You allowed him to drag you along, watching the way he swam. The tide was changing, and over this particular area it was even more shallow - the water warm. Still, he swam so skilfully that he didn't stir up sand. He pulled you back up to the surface. Twisting you so your back was to the boat, he swam underneath you; this time with warning. He pulled your legs over his shoulders and pushed up until he hit the surface. You were just about high enough to pull yourself up onto the side, but he held you steady until you sat. Droplets fell from your hair into the water as you swept it back off your face with your shades. He was staring up at you, making no attempt to exit. "What?" "You are so damn gorgeous... I just don't know what to tell ya..." He pushed himself out of the water and hoisted himself up next to you. You handed him his damp shirt. "Sure you don't want this?" He, too, pushed his wet hair out of his face. You laughed "It’s NOT a man’s shirt..." You kissed his shoulder gently as he pulled it over his head with a laugh; "But that’s what you do right? You collect men’s shirts." "What do you think one-night stands are for? I was gonna add yours to my collection... It's a testament to you that you got it back..." "Only for you to steal about 4 more?" "I love your shirts, where do you get them?" "Aw nah, if I told you that you'd go buy 'em and I would outlive my usefulness." You looked down at the water again, at the way he swung his legs lazily over the side of the boat. But you smiled; "They wouldn't smell like you if you didn't wear 'em..." He leant back, laughing "Uh huh! That’s it!" You grinned "Somethin' like that, baby, yeah!" He shook his head, twisting so he straddled the side, hands on hips "But you don't want this one?" "You need to wear a shirt. Ok, or Ima die!!" He laughed even harder and took your face between his hands; "Oh! Baby girl! Where the hell did you come from!?" He kissed your forehead, then your lips, before he stood; "Lunch?" You nodded; "As If I could ever refuse?" You caught his lips again before he wandered to the kitchen; He laughed; "Okay, gorgeous. Try not to miss me too much." You pouted; "Awww... I miss you already!"

 **

You had a book open on your chest, glass of wine on the table next to you. You were lying lengthways across the seats - simultaneously sunbathing and drying off from swimming. You were still in your bikini but to ward off the chill from the breeze that would every so often catch you, you’d put your oversized shirt back on. You’d started to read but your eyes began to get heavy, so you’d decided to give it a miss for a minute and rest your eyes instead. Danny had been busy preparing lunch... and marvelling a little at the kitchen on a boat like this. But when he walked back out onto the sun-drenched deck, he couldn’t help but push the thought of lunch to the back of his mind.

You were still wet from swimming and that was only soaking into the shirt you were wearing, leaving even less to his imagination than usual... He took a gulp of wine and crossed to you, placing his glass on the table next to yours. The sound of his glass hitting the surface didn’t stir you... He knelt on the seat and pulled you towards him by your legs, running his hands from your ankles, he brushed away the salt that was stuck to them. As he kissed from your ankle to follow the trace of his fingers you hummed, shifting your body slightly to get more comfortable. When he got to your inner thigh he figured you were teasing him by not responding more than you were holding back. He shifted himself, placing his hands either side of your head so you were pinned under him, legs on either side of his. You let out a content sigh, closing your book you threw it onto the table, expertly missing both glasses, you reached up and removed your shades, opening your eyes to stare into his.

“You’re blocking my sunlight, you know?” He narrowed his eyes but said nothing, opting instead to lower his body further and beginning to kiss your neck. The next hum you gave reverberated into his body as you crossed your legs behind his, winding your arms around his shoulders you pushed your body up and were met with a sound of approval; you laughed. “I didn’t say I wasn’t enjoying the view!” “That’s what I thought!” He growled against your skin. You tasted like the sea, like sunshine. Like everything he’d ever wanted. You were a warm safe place... Even though he knew you’d said the same about him... He felt like he could wrap all his secrets up in you, too... And like he might have finally found the one person who wouldn’t leave... Who wouldn’t let HIM leave.

He reached for the buttons on your shirt at the same time you started running your hands under his. “Should we take this inside?” You quizzed him as he relieved himself of his shirt, his eyes left yours and he traced the opening of your button down, it was much more obvious with you dressed like this of your body’s reactions to him... and your hips were pinned down by his. He wasn’t that sure he wanted to move this anywhere. He undid the final buttons and your shirt found a new home on the floor, he laid you back and his hands went for the straps of your bikini. And then he was decisive; “No.”

 *** You opened the wardrobe and scanned quickly through the clothes. “Aw, crap.” “What?!” Danny’s voice echoed from the bathroom “I must have taken all my stuff off the boat!! This is all my parents...” You leant against the wardrobe door “... I mean it’s not a total loss my mom has some nice things...” He exited the bathroom running his hands through his still wet hair from the shower you had shared. “Only as long as it isn’t nautical stripes again...” You had to laugh “Just for that comment I’m going to make sure it-“ You had to stop and stare at him for a minute. “What?” He looked around the room and then back to you. Dressed in smart dark blue jeans, and a white and faded navy striped shirt (top buttons undone, of course) with a black jacket Danny looked the smartest you had ever seen him. And your heart was telling you exactly how that made you feel; “Oh my god...” you breathed “... When you said you were going to take me out you really meant it...” “Yeah. What did you THINK I meant?!” You shrugged unconvincingly and turned back to the wardrobe. You’d have to go classic black... there was nothing else for it. It was cut a bit like a sundress, but had teardrop shaped diamanté’s around the neck line. “Belt. I need to belt it... I think...” You threw off your cover up, not even caring that Danny was still there after today, the unmade bed now told that story, and pulled the dress over your head. As expected, it was a little too big for you. “Tell me you have a belt.” “Yeah, one! What are you...” “You have a skinny waist so it’ll have a good amount of notches!” “I’ll do you one better. It doesn’t even have notches.” He smirked “But you have to come get it.” You narrowed your eyes at him; “What, like your belt buckle is ever going to be a challenge for me?” You opened a second draw and pulled another belt out. Then approached Danny. His face almost read disappointed. “Don’t get too excited...” You ran your hands around his waist band to his belt buckle as you whispered it seductively, you released the buckle with a click, realising that his belt was a slide system. You pulled it from his dark jeans whilst never taking your eyes off his. Looping it over your shoulder you unravelled your dads; “It’s Zegna. Ermenegildo Zegna… Italian men’s fashion boutique, also does the suits for Tom Ford, Gucci and YSL if you must know…” You flashed the name on the belt at him before passing it through his belt loops and pulling it tight to fasten it; “Now you can look like you own this boat.”  You stepped away from him and he released a breath you hadn’t realised he’d been holding. “...And you can get off your luxury yacht straight into you Zegna Maserati, to match your flashy belt, of which only 100 were made…” You cracked a smile “Not that my dad would let you borrow it or anything, but you could always ask!” Danny didn’t miss a beat – “So your dad is into cars huh?” “Small house, MASSIVE garage.” You agreed, knowing full well Danny had seen a host of them sitting on the driveway before now. “Explains yours.” “Uh. I’d like to take credit for my own car thanks! But yeah, guess he’s the influence. It wasn’t HIS money though.” “I would NEVER imply that!” He tilted his head; “Why are you telling me so much about Zegna anyways!?” You winked, pulling his jacket straight and smoothing his shirt; “Context is everything.”

You passed his belt high around your waist and pulled it tight to pull the dress in, looping it in a neat knot on the other side of the buckle. “There. Better.” You looked him over; “Oh Yeah. You look like new Miami money...” You pulled a box out of the same draw and opened it... selecting some of your mother’s earrings and a statement piece necklace. You were content to leave your watch and bracelets are they were. Finer pieces suited you, you turned back to him; “So, do you think I look worthy of your new Miami money?” He raised an eyebrow “You look beautiful… As long as the suggestion isn’t that I bought you?” “Baby, I would never—!” You crossed to him, picking up your bag on the way, thankful you always carried make up for touch ups. You kissed him gently “Tonight though... all eyes are gonna be on you!” *** He took your hand as you hopped off the boat; “So?” “So…?” You questioned his question. If he was asking about the location, then a marina was a marina. It was a small dock, old wood, but pretty… strings of lights welcomed boats and bathed the water in a soft glow. He asked the expected question. “What do you think?” “…It’s pretty… but it’s all boats, wood and water… Where are you actually taking me?” He smiled and linked your arm with his. “It’s only a short walk…” He took it slow, and explained how he’d found this place completely on accident when he was exploring ideas for his own. According to him, it was the only restaurant he actually trusted himself to take you to without complaining about anything. Anything had a wide scope, so you wondered if he meant sometimes he wouldn’t complain about the food but something else. He left that avenue unexplored. You pondered aloud if it had inspired anything from his own; he explained that the location was waterfront, so he’d got as close as he possibly could. He described, in detail, that when creating his own menu he’d taken a lot of time experimenting, which is why his menu looked normal until you took a close look. This place had a lot of classic items, but its fair share of the weird and wonderful. He’d simply tested flavours and combined them. You wondered what that meant your evening was to consist of. He stated that it wasn’t the only restaurant he’d been to that had inspired either of those things, but you knew him, so you’d be able to pick up on the influence right away.

 When you arrived, the restaurant was decorated in the same strings of lights and it spilled out onto the small waterfront. Danny was “old-romantic” enough to have asked for an outside table and like a true gentleman, helped you into your seat before sitting himself. You studied the other clientele carefully. Everyone was at the very least smartly dressed. Some even a little overdressed, if you and Danny were anything to go by. Your dad’s boat was the biggest in the marina so… They weren’t coming from the Miami heights. Or, they’d driven? You hadn’t scanned the cars in the parking lot. You were glad you’d borrowed one of your mom’s dresses. You were about to open the menu when Danny held his hand out for it; “What? You have one?” “Yeah. Alright…” He retrieved his hand and studied his own meticulously. But that got you curious; “What?” “It doesn’t matter.” “No really!” He shook his head, but you could tell by the smile that appeared on his face that wasn’t the end of the conversation. You opened yours and almost immediately on first scan you could see elements that had been copied over to Viva Caputa. But, for a restaurant that didn’t seem all that big, the menu was far more extensive. And some of the prices were almost eye watering. Ah, the price of waterfront real estate. Even this far out of Miami. “You are NOT paying this.” “Shut up and let me take you on a date.” Danny waved away your protest “Its-” “I WANT to spend my money on you. That should be the end of the conversation…” And so it was. Until the waiter turned up. Danny took a deep breath, in a way that made you look up at him. He looked across to you; that same smile on his face. “Do you trust me?” You looked to the menu and shut it in answer; “Yes.” “Okay…” He cleared his throat “Let’s do this- you sure!?” You nodded; he was about to order for both of you, but he didn’t want to look like he was controlling. He ordered four different dishes, two that were classic, two that almost made you want to scan the menu again – but felt that would defeat the point of you trusting him. Then flicking through the drinks menu he ordered a wine. The waiter was hesitant for a moment. “Trust me man, I’m a chef. It sounds odd, it’ll go perfect…” He winked across to you; “You better get your drink in. I think I’m complimenting flavours.” With that you were allowed to order your signature.  The waiter disappeared and Danny looked more than just a little smug; “The kitchen will get it. Don’t worry.” “Are you going to do this with dessert too?” “God – that’s your forte…” He traced his lips with his fingers; “Maybe. I’ll see how well this goes down.” “I’m sure it’ll be fine. You told me you knew me.” “…I know what you don’t like, yeah, I skipped all of that. It’s a shame, you’re missing out.” “You told me I had great taste!” You folded your arms defiantly; surely he would admit he HAD said that when editing his menu and listing his target markets qualities. “Yeah…” he smirked “In men!”

When the dishes arrived Danny was quick to point out exactly what he’d done; “Look! I’ve got all your food groups covered! Meat, Fish, Vegetarian, Pasta… That sauce is dairy based… and you’ve even got fruit here look. Can I have done any better? No or No?” “…You are crazy.” “Not a God damn sweet in sight. Good natural sugar!” He sat back and watched your face “You’ll ruin it with dessert but I want to say I tried my hardest.” “I’m impressed. But it’s gotta taste good.” “It will taste better than good.” He nodded to the wine, “Now I get to pour this!” He hadn’t actually let you have any before your main courses arrived. You were fine with your drink; with his promise that it would be complimented by what he had chosen you’d only taken slow sips. He had stuck to water. Danny was clearly eager to make a great impression. He held his hand out for your plate; “See, now I’ll balance it right and you can tell me what you think…” He moved his chair so he was sitting next to you, rather than opposite. And in accordance with what you had seen from an actual food group chart he began the process of mixing the dishes on your plate appropriately. He set it in front of you, and then poured your glass of wine. “Your choice if you mix them up or not. But, you should probably get a feel for each flavour first.” You almost burst out laughing at how serious he sounded. “What?!” “Oh god. You’re going to remind me of every time Jason mimics you…” “Oh does he now?!” “Cooking is all about FEEL! Jason! FEEL!” You did you best impression of Jason impersonating Danny. “God, I’m sorry… He just… Loves you way too much.” At least Danny saw the funny side of it, plating up for himself “Oh yeah, I BET that’s why he does it…” You picked up your fork, but you weren’t exactly sure where to start, and you wanted to follow Danny’s lead. “… What’s wrong sweetheart?” He picked up his own and looked across to you “You think I know where to begin!?” “The choice is yours.” “You should know how bad I am at decisions. Amanda and Evelyn should have…” you suddenly realised that Danny hadn’t actually met your two best friends properly yet. They’d been present a couple of times you’d been out for drinks but… “…They didn’t though. God, I need to introduce you to my friends… OH! There’s my parent’s Anniversary party…!” “Oh God…” His eyes widened and shifted to the table “Suit and Tie - Danny Rayburn! YES!” “Don’t ruin tonight, please God no!” You laughed at the look on his face, “Okay.. Lemmie help you…” He pulled your plate towards himself and loaded his fork. “Is this too much?” “…For me or the fact that you’re gonna…” Wasn’t that supposed to be romantic? Did Danny think he was being over the top? “Oh my god, don’t you start overthinking!” “Okay…” You took his fork from him and thought the bite over.   “OH-!” You covered your mouth for a second “Oh my God!” “No no no, hold on a sec, now you gotta have some of that.” He pointed to your wine glass “It’s not complete without that…” You gave yourself a second to mull over the flavours you were experiencing, swallowing you reached for your glass and took a sip. And suddenly eating became something a little bit more than sensory. He clapped his hands together at the look on your face and you were surprise he didn’t pat himself on the back right then and there. “Oh my god! She likes it!” He announced to no one in particular. “What-!? Oh my god-!? How!?!” “I may be the artist. It doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate the hell out of other people’s art.” He looked as impressed with your reaction as his own analogy. “So, I made a good choice?” “Incredible.” “Better than my place?” “Oh-! NO! You can’t!” “I don’t mind you telling me yes…! It just makes me work a bit harder. This is like the level I’m going for. Only that mix is what I’m trying to put into one dish, rather than separate ones…” He gave you a smile as you nodded to his explanation with a smile of your own. You knew where he was coming from. He liked having you on the same page. His was an acquired wavelength, he liked that you could be in tune with that.

 You cleared your plate more than once and he was more than just appreciative at that. There wasn’t even all that much that he had the waiter box up. You’d been through a few glasses of wine too, and were getting a little bit of a kick. You weren’t sure you could go for dessert – but Danny wasn’t having any of your excuses. “You’re only gonna complain if I don’t get you any…” He took the menu gratefully and took your hand; “Look, listen to this… you don’t even have to go heavy…” “You going to confine me to food groups again?” “No… Baby girl… This is all you… How about this…” He listed off a few different things and you tried to pick a couple that sounded like they would go together in the same way he had done so expertly for your main course. But also that didn’t sound heavy on top of what you had already eaten… He nodded along to your suggestions and you came up with a couple together. But, that wasn’t too hard. He was right, you had an incredibly sweet tooth.

 Even here Danny was expertly trying to mix your choices, and by the time you’d both finished you felt like you could probably happily slip into a food coma. “That’s it. I’m not going to eat another bite for the next week!!” “She says… Coffee?” “Ugh. Go on.” “…Keep it light…” he took your wrist to check your watch; “We gotta get you back home too, remember! It’s probably an hour straight shot to Miami. Water shouldn’t be too rough, if we stick costal we’ll make it home with pretty good light on our side. But I can drive, it’ll be fine.” It was nearly 10:30pm… You didn’t care all that much. He ordered coffee and the check. Stopping you from taking it from him; “Can’t we please split it?” “NO.” “Please…” “Nope…” He pulled out his wallet and his card “Danny…!!” “Not even that voice is going to work on me today. Finish your coffee!” He handed it back to the waiter quickly, ignoring your whines of protest. He wouldn’t even let you help with the tip, flowing his signature across the bottom of the receipt to complete the transaction. “You make me feel terrible.” “You better not after that meal. How often do I take you out Y/N? Be honest. I make money! Is it cuz I said the restaurant doesn’t pay all the bills?! Consider it a thank you, in fact I noticed your clients are bring their own people around… and your dad… Well, that’s another story. We’re doing so well I’m considering extensions, refits… and… Well, y’know that’s another conversation for another time…” He put his card back into his wallet and turning to observe you finishing your coffee, took a different line of conversation “…About this Anniversary party?” “Wedding Anniversary. Yup.” “Do you really want ME to go? You don’t want to do what we usually do..?” He was referring to your slightly strange arrangement of if one of you didn’t want to go to a party or engagement the other was going to you would simply be allowed to take someone else as your plus one. Danny didn’t often try to take female ‘friends’, but he was cool with you taking guys from work. He figured it made sense for you to take people who ‘fit the description’ to your upper-class parties (those you couldn’t miss). He went to all sorts of strange sounding events that it often didn’t sound like he wanted to get you involved in. The arrangement suited you both, and you knew nothing would ever happen between the two of you and the third person-of-choice. “Not to this one. I want it to be you. It HAS to be you.” “…Suit and tie?” “Black tie, actually.” He made a choking sound “Geez… Okay… I’ll see what I can do…” His mind thought back to your earlier conversation, his voice questioning “context is everything?” “If you wanna rock a Zegna suit... be my guest!” You tipped your glass to him, impressed “But yeah that’s the kind of eyerolling discussions you need to be prepared for!” “Can’t wait.” He dripped his usual sarcasm. You chose to ignore it. “My parents will want you there… And I want you to meet my friends and family… I love you… And this is… the first real serious… thing I think I’ve ever had…! And, that party will be the perfect place.”

He took your hand and helped you stand, linking your arm back through his he walked you back to the boat, pondering the situation; “How many years?” “Huh?” “How many years have they been together? It sounds like it’s more than just a little party. Black tie?” “…35.” “Oh my god.” “I know. Met young, danced together young, married young. Literal life partners…” “And you want that?” “…I guess I want… Similar?” You shrugged and gave him your best smile “Kinda depends on what he wants too, doesn’t it?”

*** He looked uncomfortable as he leant over the side of the boat, staring at the marina lights flickering across the surface of the dark water. You approached his side slowly, your voice gentle; “…Are you ok?” He didn’t answer, but realised in doing so he might be giving the wrong impression of his evening. His evening with you had been great. But this…

“Is it your shoulder again?” It’s something you’d never asked him about. But you’d noticed for a long time. If Danny ever looked in pain he would always reach for his left shoulder. On the few occasions you’d been in his apartment you’d also noticed he had a substantial amount of painkillers and at least one of those bottles had made its way onto one of your bathroom shelves. He glanced across to you, and his face voiced the question he couldn’t. You waved your hands as if to say you meant nothing by it, “It’s just something I’ve observed over time…” you turned so your back was against the railing “…Personally though, if it’s as bad as you make it look… you should probably have it looked at…” He almost laughed, “No… No! The last thing I need is all that being dragged up again…” He took a deep breath and turned side on to you. He studied your face carefully, but he already knew it, how much he trusted you… So he knew he could tell you this. Hell, he HAD to tell you this.

“I never told you about my little sister right? Not – Not Meg… Sarah…” You realised this was a lot more serious than you had thought, turning your full attention on him, you shook your head slowly. “Well… Mom and Dad were fighting. Like a LOT. We’re talking daily screaming matches. We were lucky it never got any worse. I mean I was always one for getting out of dodge anyway, but let me tell you, that would have cemented it. Anyway, Sarah hears one such argument, she probably shouldn’t have but mom asked me to take her somewhere. And I mean, I’m just a kid what do I know, I thought the best place was as far away from that house as possible…” He bit his lip and gave a shrug; “And we had a boat, not the one we have now, a different one. There was one rule, don’t take Sarah out on the boat without an adult. See, John was right there on the pier and he shoulda come with me, but he didn’t. And I was way more focused on leaving that house than anything else… And… Sarah… She had this…” He stopped, and looked back to the water, you moved closer to him. This was hard, this was so hard for him and you knew it couldn’t have ended well. For one, Sarah wasn’t ever mentioned… He swallowed hard and his voice almost broke over his next sentence. He continued to stare at the swirling depths as the waves lapped against the side of the boat “…gorgeous little seahorse necklace, and she loved it. Absolutely LOVED it, guess a thing like that is everything to a kid that age.” He laughed, but it wasn’t genuine; “…I mean, I dunno what I was gonna do with her, go swimming maybe? Anyways – we get to a reef and she drops it, doesn’t she. Necklace, gone, and it’s disappearing through that water quicker than I can stop her going after it.”

You covered your mouth with your hand. You knew exactly what he was about to say. “So she’s gone, and I didn’t react quick enough to going after her. We’re both under the water now and the necklace disappears through a crack in the reef; but she’s a kid right? She just will not let it go – and how – how in the world she got stuck I will never know; her hands were tiny. But her arm gets stuck, and I’m a strong swimmer, I wasn’t particularly athletic ever, but I could take licks from John and Kevin pretty good, right? Pulling her arm out should have been easy. I should have had this. But see, I didn’t. Cuz I was running out of air. So I had to leave her… SO I’m panicking, I get back to her as quickly as possible, she’s unconscious. Finally I get her arm out, I get back to the boat. No necklace, by the way. I turn that thing around and bam – I’m heading back home. I didn’t know CPR, hell, if I did maybe I could have done something…” He tapped the railing with his fingers, affording another pause. “Now I’m almost home, and I’m screaming for someone ANYONE to come help me. God, someone must know CPR right? John was smart! My Parents… Well you know what, maybe this would get them over fighting… Geez…” He placed his hands against his forehead and took a breath out “I get to the pier, I’m still yelling for someone. Apparently the house is deserted.” He snorted “Like that ever happens? Kevin, Meg, John?! Where the hell were they!? Anyway, my Dad… Sarah’s his favourite, because of COURSE she is… comes out. And, damn if I knew my dad… I guess he tried to help but I was too scared to find out. I mean… I guess she was dead at that point…” He fell silent again, and you realised that his injury didn’t come from helping his sister. “…The next thing I know, he is screaming at me. We’re not even talking angry, Y/N, I’ve never seen anyone…” He went quiet again “…He chases me through the house. And God, yeah, I guess John was there… I mean I’m quick, but I couldn’t outrun that. And screaming that it was an accident didn’t help anything either… He catches me and pins me down and that’s the least of my problems, cuz then Daddy dearest…” He bit his lips together, you knew what he was about to say and you wanted to, but you couldn’t stop Danny now; “…Proceeds to beat the shit out of me. And that is nowhere near an exaggeration.” He leant back “And this…” indicating to his shoulder “…This is a constant reminder. As if I didn’t have that day permanently ingrained into my head as it is… And then things were never the same…” He looked back to you, story he was willing to tell clearly over, and if it was possible his face fell. You didn’t realise you were crying until your tears started to run over your fingers. He didn’t have time to react to you throwing your arms around him – you didn’t sob, you kept your crying silent but you buried your head in his shoulder. You didn’t even know how to say you were sorry.

Eventually he moved in your arms, sniffing like he was crying because you were crying he mumbled into your shoulder; “…We should get back to Miami…” “You’re not going ANYWHERE.” You held him strong “We’re staying here. We’ll head back tomorrow…” you ran your hands over his shoulders tenderly, now you’d just have to make sure you were extra careful about this. He moved his hands to touch your shoulder too; “…What does that quote even say?” Running his finger across the scripture on your left shoulder, significant or ironic you weren’t sure, but you were sure he wanted to change the subject. You pulled back from your embrace; “You’re really NOT a church on Sunday type, are you?” You gave a half smile “…I used to be. I kinda got disillusioned more than once…. I guess I go occasionally. That quote struck a chord. So much so I guess I wanted it permanently on my skin…” He tipped his head; “That doesn’t tell me what it says…” “Depends on which bible you’re reading from. But, for me… Psalm 23:4 - ‘Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me’…” You watched him run it through his head, trying to process it “…And what…what is it you’re… walking through?” You gave a secretive shrug life, maybe? “…I was working through some stuff… It doesn’t necessarily have to be about me, always.” “So, who?” You gave him a significant look and he followed what you were thinking. Now? Him. “Baby… Context is everything…”

 ---

*For which the Thou, is you. Of course.

@stcphstrange - Hope you had fun with nearly 15,000 words! 😘

[miccatepoztli]

Annoyingly Long and Obnoxious Meta On Ximena’s Magic Aura. 

No editing, we die like men.

To begin, we are going to assume some things.

First: let’s assume that a person’s aura is real and connected to both their personality and heritage. When I say heritage, I don’t just necessarily mean where a person comes from. I mean their parents. Their ancestors. The things that they did and accomplished. Because in my little fantasy headspace, physical blood is important.

Second: let’s assume that this aura can be sensed the same way we sense food, cloth, music, etc. Some people can see auras, some can smell them (like Ximena can), and some can taste them or hear them or physically touch them. Maybe you can even do more than one, but I expect that would be a lot of overstimulation.

Third: let’s assume that if auras are real, and they can be sensed, that they may also be hidden or amplified. A private person or someone who does not want to be noticed (like Ximena) may, in theory, cloak/conceal/hide away their aura from others. If in a situation that requires a certain level of passion (say, intimidating someone during a battle, comforting a loved one, or grieving), one can indeed do the opposite of hide and show others that aura. You can show your enemy the dangerous avalanche of your emotions. You can let your loved one feel protection and warmth. You can have your aura play the sad sounds of your mourning. 

All of these displays of auras is completely abstract, of course, I imagine it’s similar to synesthesia.

Now, let’s get a little more exciting and add magic into the mix.

For this idea, let’s use my general interpretation of what magic is and how it works (because if there’s a solid explanation, then it stops being magic and starts being science fiction): all living things, and even some non-living things that are natural (ex. rocks, dead flowers, sea shells) exude/produce magic. There are magic reservoirs and special areas of the world where magic is stronger. Some places where it is weaker. Magic moves like wind. Like currants. Magic is hella alive. It probably has a conscience.  It is one being and several beings at once.

Certain magic sticks to certain people. It creates somewhat of a symbiotic relationship. Give and take. The magic effects the person, and the person effects the magic. Certain things will come easily to the person because of the type of magic that has attached themselves to them/the type of magic that bends to their will. People who have never broken a dropped phone. People who never forget a birthday. People who have never gotten in an accident. People who always win bingo. People who always have the attention of the people in a room the moment they walk into it. People who always get the last slice of pizza. These are little magicks.

But! Living things includes, of course, humans. Humans can produce magic, but not at the same high rates as other creatures, such as goblins, fae, hulders, mermaids, what-have-you. For most humans, this magic is very difficult to unlock, and most never do it in their lifetimes, instead letting it build up until their deaths when it goes back out into the world (in a Harry Potter or FFVIII verse, the humans who are able to unlock it, are wizards/sorceresses).

So then, a review: Auras are real. They can be sensed. They can be manipulated. Magic is real. It is alive and everywhere. It sticks to certain people. They have strong influences on each other. Humans produce magic too, but it is very small, and hard to unlock. If you can unlock it, you’re Special.

Now, magic becomes physical when a spell is cast. When a potion is brewed. When a sigil is drawn. Turning water into wine, making a sleeping draught, carving runes...You’re bending magic into a shape/form. Creating a purpose. It can also become physical once it blends in with a person’s aura.

It takes time, I think. At first, maybe in infancy (or perhaps even in the womb?), the magic mixes with the aura like oil and water. You can shake them up (lol) for a temporary mix, but they will separate naturally. As time goes on, and the person grows and develops their personality, that same symbiosis relationship takes place with the aura and the magic until they are close to one and the same. The more blended they are, the easier it is for people to control their magic/have it do what they want it to do.

It also means that magic can be physically manifested when blended far enough with an aura. It can be sensed.

It is incredibly difficult to physically manifest your magic. To have it actually physically affect the world around you. It’s even more difficult to control it like this. It’s basically RAW ORGANIC MAGICKS™, and that shit is dangerous when it’s not filtered through spells or potions or any other form of performing magic.

It is also much much easier to sense a person’s magic than just a regular aura.

A person’s magic in physical form can be a lot of things. Fire, electricity, clouds, petals...Honestly this is the part where you should just let your imagination run wild because A) who cares, world building is fun, and B) every person with magic is different. As said before, the aura of a person depends on their personality and heritage. And magic affects the person binded to it and the aura of that person.

So, let’s get to Ximena. Spoilers! For her past, if that matters to you (I’d appreciate it if your muse didn’t automatically know these things unless we discuss them first):

Ximena was born in a cenote through ritual/magical means. From TripSavy: “A cenote is a deep, water-filled sinkhole in limestone that is created when the roof of an underground cavern collapses. This creates a natural pool which is then filled by rain and water flowing from underground rivers. The word cenote comes from the Mayan word dzonot, which means "well."” Ximena was also visited and drowned as a young child by La Llorona in a river after a flood when she went in deep to collect water, as the well she would have gone to was destroyed.

Water is the element of change, of which Ximena knows much about. It is why her magic is very water like. Cool and running/flowing. Dark. If you were able to touch/brush against Ximena’s magic, it would feel like your hand was submerged in running water. Cold. Soothing. But despite the gentleness of the current, it is very unyielding. It’s strong. Persistent.

Her magic feels old and ancient, as many cenotes are. It is also because of her particular family curse, of which includes (among other things) involuntary and often painful immortality. The magic that attaches itself to her has flowed through the veins of her father. Her grandmother. Her great-grandmother. Her great-great-grandmother. And the rest...

It is also old magic because of the (unknown to her for the longest time) powerful protective magicks on her beaded azebache bracelet (a bracelet meant to protect against the Evil Eye/evil intentions), crafted by and given to her by her father as a means of tricking the curse on their family. It feeds her magic.

The magic on this bracelet is much more powerful than hers, and if someone can naturally sense magic auras, they would be able to read the bracelet’s instead of hers. A means of diversion. Protection. Let’s hope she doesn’t loose it. The details of the magic of this bracelet are for another day, another post.

The color of Ximena’s magic is a lovely deep forest green. Healing and natural. Like the earth. A cenote is both earth and water, and this is where they meet. It’s an elegant color that brings about images of comfort and sturdiness. As she grows older and a bit more open/coy, blue will trace slowly into the edges. But only just.

As a result of Ximena’s spirit line, her magic also has an element of lightning. Her family, much more outspoken and spitfire than she, lingers in her aura and magic. When you dip your hand out of the water, it lingers like electricity in your fingers. Tingles playfully. It is also because Ximena is made up of contradictory things. Bold and meek. Just and selfish. Playful and studious. Water and electricity. 

Now the smell: Ximena’s usual scent is just clean laundry. The girl’s hygiene is impecable. She’s a breath of fresh air. Her own musk/sweat/natural scent is mild with strong wood/earth undertones. Her magic smells like citrus and mint. Both plants. Sharp and fruitful. Cool and smooth. Oranges are, naturally, Ximena’s favorite fruit, and one must wonder which affected the other first...Mint is a dangerous plant, as it consumes and grows rapidly over any other living thing in your garden if you’re not careful. It must be contained.

Taste is a little strange, because what person would go into a person’s personal bubble with their tongue out? (insert dirty joke here, lmao, I’m as mature as a 13 year old boy) But in the same way you can probably taste the scent of a steak cooking or taste the after-taste of an iced tea you drank a minute ago, you can taste magic. And Ximena’s magic is tangy. Like ginger beer. In fact, because I’m a bartender, I can tell you exactly what to mix in order to get a good approximation. 1oz Grand Marnier Orange Liqueur, 1-2 lemon wedges, 2 dashes agnostura bitters, shake lightly with ice, pour over ice in rocks glass, top off with half ginger beer, half Prosecco, garnish with mint and orange rind. If you’re not old enough to drink, replace Grand Marnier with freshly squeezed orange juice and the Prosecco with grapefruit soda.

The sound of Ximena’s magic is bells. Her themesong? Classic Mexican folksong: El Cascabel. The url for this blog? It’s the Nahuatl word for bells, literally meaning death metal, because whenever the church bells would ring, it would be for the death of someone. The ultimate goal of Ximena’s family? To be able to one day reach the afterlife, breaking this shit curse. 

Without her magic, Ximena’s aura would probably just be blue. Cobalt blue blending into cornflower blue. It would still feel like water, but less like a river, and more like gentle rain pricking at skin. It would taste like hard candy, similar to a lemon cough drop. It would smell like petrichor. It would still sound like bells.

If you’ve made this this far, I thank you. This will be all for tonight.

[gentlenina]

A Chronological List Of My Favourite X-Files

“What X-File I Watch?” you ask.  I curate list.  You watch.  You.  Watch.  Especially the Darin Morgan episodes.

Season 1 (Think Of It As A Really Long B-Movie)

1-1 Pilot When Mulder met Scully 1-2 Deep Throat Not porn 1-3 Squeeze Scary contortionist liver harvester 1-8 Ice Field trip to Alaska featuring ear worms 1-11 Eve Clones, clones, clones 1-13 Beyond the Sea Scully’s first big loss of MANY 1-17 E.B.E. Meet the Lone Gunmen 1-20 Darkness Falls Scary invisible bugs take over the North Shore 1-21 Tooms Return of the liver harvester 1-24 The Erlenmeyer Flask Look how pregnant Gillian Anderson is

Season 2 (When The Show Got Really Fucking Good)

2-1 Little Green Men Aliens!  Puerto Rico! 2-2 The Host Darin Morgan as… FLUKEMAN! 2-3 Blood Darin Morgan tells us about subliminal messaging 2-5 Duane Barry Mulder goes for a swim, meets Krycek 2-6 Ascension Red Speedo part 2: Scully’s alien abduction

2-8 One Breath Red Speedo part 3: Scully’s return 2-9 Firewalker It’s basically Alien, right down to the chest bursters 2-10 Red Museum Fucking vegans 2-11 Excelsis Dei Ghost rape 2-12 Aubrey “I’ve always had a thing for girls named BJ” 2-13 Irresistible Sometimes the monster of the week is just a serial killer 2-14 Die Hand die Verletzt Evil teachers 2-15 Fresh Bones Haitian zombies 2-20 Humbug Darin Morgan writes another gem, Scully eats bugs 2-21 The Calusari Evil twins 2-24 Our Town Mad chicken disease

Season 3 (The One Where Mulder Dies And Is Resurrected For The First Time)

3-3 D.P.O. Jack Black runs an arcade 3-4 Clyde Bruckman Psychics, Darin Morgan, need I say more? 3-6 2Shy Internet dating culture in 1995 3-8 Oubliette Jewel Staite gets kidnapped 3-9 Nisei Aliens on a Train 3-10 731 Aliens on a Train pt. 2 3-12 War of the Coprophages Darin Morgan’s cockroach friends 3-13 Syzygy “Hate him, wouldn’t wanna date him.” 3-17 Pusher Brain tumors = psychic abilities 3-18 Teso dos Bichos Attack of the kitties 3-19 Hell Money Lucy Liu-kemia 3-20 Jose Chung's Scully doesn’t swear, according to Darin Morgan 3-21 Avatar Skinner kills hookers 3-22 Quagmire Darin Morgan’s Ogopogo kills Scully’s dog 3-23 Wetwired Mulder is colour blind 3-24 Talitha Cumi Meet Jeremiah Smith and the alien bounty hunter

Season 4 (Don’t Worry, Scully Is Immortal)

4-1 Herrenvolk So many Samantha Mulders 4-2 Home Incest: too hot for TV 4-3 Teliko Delicious pituitary glands 4-4 Unruhe German dental torture 4-6 Sanguinarium Plastic surgery featuring Satan 4-7 Musings of a CSM CSM kills everyone important 4-12 Leonard Betts Nomnomnom, cancer 4-13 Never Again Your Jodie Foster tattoo is talking to me 4-14 Memento Mori Aliens give Scully the gift of brain cancer

4-15 Kaddish Hasidic Jews 4-20 Small Potatoes Darin Morgan fucks all the bitches 4-21 Zero Sum ‘Member killer bees?  I ‘member. 4-22 Elegy Mulder & Scully go bowling 4-23 Demons Mulder starts flipping his shit 4-24 Gethsemane Mulder dies, again

Season 5 (The Season Everyone Liked)

5-1 Redux Jokes, Mulder is alive; Scully might die 5-2 Redux II Jokes, Scully’s fine - probably immortal 5-3 Unusual Suspects Lone Gunmen origin story 5-4 Detour Scully sings to Mulder in the forest 5-5 Post-Modern Prometheus Frankenstein’s monster loves Cher 5-6 Christmas Carol Scully has a child? 5-7 Emily Let’s kill it off and do it again come season 8 5-10 Chinga Stephen King and the Lynn Valley Dairy Queen 5-11 Kill Switch Upload yourself to the internet 5-12 Bad Blood Pizza and vampires, can you dig it? 5-17 All Souls Polydactyl quadruplets vs. the Catholic church 5-18 The Pine Bluff Variant Biological weapons in the movie theater 5-19 Folie a Deux Everyone is insane and there are giant bugs 5-20 The End As in the end of filming in Vancouver

Season 6 (80% LOLs, 20% Bullshit, 100% California)

6-1 The Beginning Welcome to California. 6-2 Drive Before Breaking Bad, there was X-Files 6-3 Triangle Mulder and Scully do “Titanic” 6-4 Dreamland Mulder gets a water bed 6-5 Dreamland II Mulder gets his body back 6-6 How Ghosts Stole Xmas Haunted Christmas house with Miss Frizzle 6-7 Terms of Endearment Ash from Evil Dead wants children 6-13 Agua Mala Florida is fucking ghetto 6-14 Monday Groundhog Day starring David Duchovny 6-15 Arcadia “Woman, get in here and make me a sandwich” 6-18 Milagro A creep stalks Scully and writes her a fanfic 6-19 The Unnatural Ice cream, baseball, aliens, and the KKK 6-20 Three of a Kind The Lone Gunmen drag Scully to Vegas 6-21 Field Trip Mulder and Scully do shrooms

Season 7 (Enjoy Mulder While He’s Still Here)

7-3 Hungry Meat is murder, for reals 7-6 The Goldberg Variation Shia LaBeouf needs a lucky liver 7-7 Orison Donnie Pfaster returns 7-8 The Amazing Maleeni Twin magicians 7-9 Signs and Wonders Snakes for Jesus 7-12 X-Cops Probably the most 1999 crossover 7-13 First Person Shooter Mulder and Scully play very early, shitty VR 7-15 En Ami CSM is a gross fucking rapist 7-17 all things Scully meets some nice holistic lesbians 7-19 Hollywood A.D. X-Files starring Tea Leoni and Garry Shandling 7-22 Requiem Mulder gets abducted by aliens, Scully is pregnant

Season 8 (The One With The Baby)

8-4 Roadrunners The cult of the back slug 8-5 Invocation Time traveling ghost babies 8-10 Badlaa The little man that hides in your ass 8-12 Medusa Spooky tunnels 8-13 Per Manum Alien fetuses are the only reason I watched S8 8-14 This is Not Happening Mulder is dead!  Again. 8-15 DeadAlive Did I say dead?  Jokes.

8-19 Alone This is basically a self-insert fanfic 8-20 Essence Supersoldiers want Scully’s baby 8-21 Existence Scully has the baby, Reyes becomes her wife

Season 9 (X-Files With Doggett & Reyes)

9-5 Lord of the Flies Jackass featuring actual flies 9-11 Audrey Pauley Reyes’s coma adventure 9-13 Improbable If man is 5, then the devil is 6, and God is Burt Reynolds 9-14 Scary Monsters Children are awful 9-15 Jump the Shark The one where they murder the Lone Gunmen 9-16 William Mulder and Scully give up their not-so-alien baby 9-18 Sunshine Days This dude *really* loves the Brady Bunch 9-19 The Truth It’s not good, but it’s “the end” 9-20 The Truth II

Season 10 (Dear God, Why?)

10-2 Founder's Mutation Some X-Men shit 10-3 Were-Monster Welcome back, Darin Morgan 10-4 Home Again Tim Armstrong is the Trashman