#insert insult of choice

[javelinbk]

Paul when he's asked a direct question

[musical-chick-13]

Me during any poll: CARE ABOUT WOMEN YOU COWARDS

[rebecca-lotto]

highschool music taste [part 12]

^i wanna try & sing this at like a talent show

[kingtomura]

Arcade

Summary: There's nothing worse than getting ditched by your so-called friends on a Friday night. Well, maybe the asshole complaining about your skills at the arcade has that beat. Tomura Shigaraki knows how to make one hell of a first impression. word count: 8.5k Part three to Good Girl and Bloodline Content: Tomura Shigaraki x female reader, quirkless AU, fluff, angst, virginity loss, virginity kink, corruption kink, mutual masturbation, vaginal fingering, oral (f! receiving), praise, strict parents, toxic parents, smut with plot, protected sex, piv, overstim, tomura talks you through it, if you know what i mean, reader is kinda bad at games sry, mdni crossposted to ao3 | Part 4 is here!

You meet him on a Friday.

The mall is crowded and filled to the brim with groups of friends, chattering, laughing – wondering what to get into for the night. You’re just trying to find your group. They said that they would meet you here almost an hour ago, but no one has shown up. 

Bitterly you kick the small rock in front of you, officially accepting the fact that you had been ditched and decide it’s too early to go home. It’s a Friday night for pete’s sake. You walk aimlessly through the mall, only pausing when the noises of video game lasers and hyper dance music flood your ears. 

The arcade. Of course you could kill some time there, people go there alone all the time. No one would think you were out of place and effectively ditched. 

You make your choice, beelining for the upgraded rendition of Pac Man and slipping in a coin to start it. 

The excitement was short lived as you remembered that the game isn’t as easy as you remembered. Whatever, you take your leave and try for a game you hadn’t played before. Something simple with muted colors. It’s fun, but a little difficult. You find yourself getting lost in it, the sounds drowning out the bustling of the arcade.

You huff as you lose another round and reach down, ready to drop a coin and start up again when you hear an annoyed groan coming from behind.

“Can I help you?” You ask, giving the guy a once over. He wore all black with ashen hair and ruby red eyes that shone with annoyance.

“Yeah, you could find another game to suck at.” He scoffs, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

Irritating. 

You take the challenge. “Oh yeah? Well let's see you try it then, since it’s so easy.”

He shrugs, brushing by you and inserting his own coin into the machine, the beeps of the game starting up and filling tension between you. 

This guy… was good at the game — as much as you hated to admit it. He blew through the enemies with little to no trouble and easily passed your place in the game. Ending it all with one final blow to the boss and snagging the new high score right before your eyes. 

To say you were embarrassed was a little less than an understatement, but you wouldn’t let him know that. So, you double down, brows furrowed and standing proud. 

The mystery man turns back to you, carmine eyes gleaming in triumph over his easy win. “See? You suck.”

You bristle at his blunt insult and bite back. “Yeah, well I only tried this game today! You think you're so good, why don’t you try to beat me at a game I'm good at.”

He looks you over, eyes dragging from your head to the converse on your feet, before turning back around towards the game and dropping another coin into it. 

“No thanks.” 

This asshole… you don’t know why you're fighting this battle, you don't even know this man! But it would be a lie if you didn’t think it was entertaining —- in an annoying way, of course. 

But you take your loss and give up, moving on to the next game. It is something silly and bright, but also difficult. It's easy to get lost in and you find yourself aggressively tapping the buttons, inevitably losing the game and huffing off to find the next one. 

You choose a first person shooter this time. Originally a two player game, but you play on your own — taking down zombie after zombie as you try (and fail) to progress to the next stage. 

You groan as the game over screen mocks you for what feels like the thousandth time that night and fight to keep from banging your head against the screen in frustration. 

“You’re doing it wrong,” a low voice speaks from behind you and you can already feel your anger flaring. “It’s all in the aim.”

“Yeah, well, what do you know?” You ask bitterly, watching as the same asshole from before puts a coin in and starts the game up again. 

He makes it look so easy, getting headshot after headshot as he easily advances to the next rounds. There was a moment you swore he would lose as a mob of zombies crowded him, but he hit a flammable container in the background, causing an explosion and killing all of the zombies. 

The winning screen lit up his pale cheeks in a red hue, giving him a faux flush of color making the butterflies in your stomach go wild. 

You can’t bite back your sigh of defeat this time, the losing streak getting to you. “Did you come over here just to show off? I can do without that, thank you.”

He only shakes his head, putting in another coin and starting the game up again. You stare blankly as he hits the two player button and hands you a gun. 

“No, let me show you why you’re not winning.” It's spoken like you asked him for advice and you know damn well you didn’t, but you take the gun anyway because you had no reason not to.

Muttering a taut fine and gearing yourself up for more humiliation, you stand tall and hold the plastic gun up to the screen, ready to shoot incoming enemies.

You jolt when you feel the guy come up behind you, placing his hands over yours and moving them so that you have a better grip on the weapon. 

It was so quick and so natural your cheeks began heating for a reason completely different from your earlier embarrassment. 

He was so warm, his hands were warm and calloused and you could feel the heat of his body radiating onto your back as he invaded your personal space to show you how to hold the plastic gun. 

Your heart hammered against your chest but you forced yourself to keep your eyes forward and face neutral. 

It was much easier said than done, you realize as he leans in, his soft hair tickling your ear as he spoke, guiding you through the mini tutorial of how to shoot the zombies. 

Everything he said went in one ear and out the other as you could only focus on the low vibrato of his voice, explaining as his fingers ghosted over yours, casually helping you shoot. 

The smell of fresh linen and what you could assume was citrus shampoo flooding your nose, making you dizzy as you struggled to listen. You wanted nothing more than to lean back into this stranger, fully feel the warmth of his chest against your back and run your fingers through his soft locks. But you didn’t. 

You will yourself to focus on the sounds of the game and his technique, knowing that you will probably be playing the game soon and didn’t want to look silly if your skill remained the same.

Unfortunately, he pulled away sooner rather than later, taking all of his extra warmth and citrus scent with him. 

“Do you get it now?” He asks, rasp in his voice having genuine curiosity and you nod, ready to try your luck at the game now.

It seems like his tutoring wasn’t in vain and you both pull out a win, scoring high enough to place your names on the screen. 

You can’t hide your excitement from your first win of the night, turning to your new companion as he looked over the other high scores on the board.

“So, what’s your name?” You ask, riding the high of the win and letting the confidence of it guide you. “Because I don't think it would be DustKing like your high score says.”

He gives a small laugh, something tiny and barely there – a mere blow of air through his nose — and looks at you. Those carmine eyes send heat rushing to your cheeks again and spreading to the tips of your ears. 

“Tomura.” Is all he gives and you nod, giving him your name and turning back to the arcade game again. 

“Wanna give it another try?” You offer, and he gives you a small smile back, dropping a coin into the machine and starting up another round. 

“Sure.”

And suddenly, being ditched on a Friday night by your so-called friends isn’t so bad.

—---------------------

The next time you meet Tomura, it is on a saturday afternoon.

The arcade is already bustling with people and the noise almost makes you turn on your heels and walk away. But you don't, instead white hair and dark clothes catch your eye and your feet move before your mind can catch up with the actions. 

“Hey!” You greet, a little too chipper and a little too close. 

Tomura looks down at you, eyes dropping to your shirt and then back up again. You weren't sure if he had been checking you out or trying to size you up. It makes you falter a bit as he goes back to his game, effectively ignoring you.

The behavior is odd, but you try not to let it bother you. The last time you met the both of you played the silly zombie game until the arcade closed — there was no way he didn’t remember who you were.

You feel a little out of place and the tiniest bit hurt as you take a step back, ready to find any other distraction in the arcade to erase this from your brain. 

“Um, okay, bye then—” You start, but you’re cut off by Tomura’s groan. He lost the game and it's difficult to hold back the laughter.

“God, you’re such a distraction. You made me lose!” He barks, riling you up.

Your brows furrow in frustration, you’ve barely said two words to the guy. “How did I make you lose? I just got here!”

“Yeah, and you're being all distracting, with your little shirt and your jeans. What do you want?” 

What the hell was that supposed to mean? The statement is lost on you as your anger takes the forefront. “Don’t blame me because you’re off your game today.”

“I will blame you, because it’s your fault.”

“Whatever, Tomura. Since you’re done losing at this game, why don't you try one you;ll need real skill to play?” you challenge and hope he takes the bait, the irritated narrowing of his eyes shows that he will and you bury your giddiness inside.

“Fine, I'll try it.”

Tomura loses. Bad. And you can't stop the tears from crowding your eyes as you laugh at his misfortune. 

“No, why did you rush out so fast?” You hear Tomura’s low growl of annoyance and continue, “This is not that kind of game! Slow and steady wins the race, you know.” 

Wiping the tear from your eye, you try again, dropping a coin and gearing up for the next round while Tomura sits beside you, seething. The game starts up again and it's bright and inviting. You strategically tap at the buttons, ensuring that your duck character can make it across the street safely. 

It's only when you hear the splash of the fallen duck next to yours that you break out into laughter once more, accidently tapping the button and sending your duck into the open road, ending the game for you both. 

“This game is rigged!” Tomura protests, frustration palpable and scowl deep on his face. 

You only shrug, knowing it's not an easy game, “Well, I'm sure you’d say that about any game you aren't good at.” 

“That's a lie.” He states. Blunt and firm. This guy… He’s so rude, but so cute. You want to bite him.

“It's not,” You keep your voice light as you tease, not wanting to push him too far. “You don’t have patience so of course you would lose.” 

“I could beat you at other games.”

This piques your interest, brows flying up. “Oh, yeah? Like what?” 

He shrugs, irritation all but dissipated. “Mario Kart. 200cc. It takes patience and it’s not rigged.” 

You take the bait, fingers twitching in anticipation, “Sure, but look where we are. There is no Mario Kart here.” 

The look tomura gives you makes you wonder if you’d asked if the sky were blue. “I have Mario Kart at my house. Stop by and I'll kick your ass at it.”

You are stubborn, and decide fine. If he wants to be cocky, then you could bring him down a notch. “Alright, let's go and we'll see.” 

He nods and you both take off, leaving the noise and excitement of the arcade behind.

Tomura was not lying when he said Mario Kart required patience. 

You were currently in his room, on his bed as you try and fail to correct your character's position on the race track. You were stuck against a wall and slowly turning the opposite way, meanwhile, the other karts whip past your character — mocking while you firmly sat in dead last. 

The small laugh Tomura gives is enough to send you into a rage. Standing up, you grip the controller with force, twisting and turning with it as if it would give you more control over your character. It did not. 

“Oh, come on!” You shout.

“You have to use your brakes at this speed.” Tomura supplies, his character crossing the finish line and cheering at its win. 

Your frustration is blinding because once again, those large, warm hands were covering yours, Tomura’s low voice filled with amusement as he guided your character to the finish line. 

Embarrassment wasn’t enough for what you were feeling. Not only did you talk shit and lose, but you needed help from him again. 

He pulls away and you fleetingly think it’s too soon, watching as Tomura grabs his own controller and flips through the options. “We could try a slower cc. 200cc is brutal to newer players.”

“You knew that and you still let me play it?” He clearly set you up, you bitterly realize as you sit next to him on the bed, watching the screen.

“Yeah, for all I know you could have been a prodigy. You weren't though, so it’s nothing I have to worry about.” 

“Hey!” You scold, smacking his arm and grabbing the controller. “Fine. Let's do 50cc and see how good you are.”

Tomura shrugs, plucking the item from your hand and getting more comfortable. “Sure, but don’t think slower races will mean you’re better.” 

The next race goes about the same as the first one, but at least this time your character sticks to the road and you’ve even placed higher this time. Eighth place! Take that. 

“Impressive,” Tomura drags, voice stripped of malice and insults. It was a small feat, but still better than twelfth place. 

It's hard to keep your excitement down, a stark contrast to Tomura’s reserved demeanor. You’ve only met him recently but he's already perfected the way to get your feathers ruffled and rile you up. 

“Yeah, well I'm going to buy the game and practice on my own. Just wait, you’ll be in last place soon.” You had the gaming console, but never this game. It wouldn’t be too steep of an investment. 

Tomura hums, pondering a moment before responding, “You could always just come over and practice. No need to waste the money when I have it.”

His words make you pause, slowly realizing where you are and who you're with. Some guy you met at the arcade — in his home, in his room, playing video games. How did that happen so fast? Your parents would kill you.

“I guess.” You look around, suddenly wanting to find anything else to focus on that isn’t the man beside you. Now that you think about it, you’ve never really been alone with another guy before. Especially not in his room. Sure, you had all kinds of male friends, but never any this close. It made you… nervous. And warm. 

Very warm. Something that spread from the pits of your abdomen and crawled its way back up into your cheeks. 

You hoped Tomura wouldn't notice your blush and searched your brain for any way to get out of this situation. 

But then he was speaking again and god, was his voice always this low?

“Do you want to go another round?”

“Huh?” You stammer, looking over and it was a mistake because you were forced to notice how close you two were sitting, on his bed of all places. You shake the thoughts from your head, “y-yeah, we should play another round.”

You reach for the controller and Tomura stops you, grabbing your chin, forcing you to look him in the eyes. 

“Hey, what's your problem?” Blunt. Rude. Fucking cute. 

It's settled. You hate this man. 

His brows furrowed as he moved closer, examining your face as if he could peer into your mind with his eyes alone. It made you want to shrink away, but that would only make his observation worse.

“Are you... getting nervous?” Your eyes widen at the words and you pull away completely, shaking your head, 

“No! Of course not.” You cross your arms in a huff and absently wonder if you could take your leave now. 

“You are,” he decides, a slow grin creeping across his face, “Why?” 

You're sure the ground will open up and swallow you whole if you just wish hard enough for it. Maybe then Tomura would back up out of your personal space and shut up.

“I'm not nervous.” You bluff, praying he won’t see through you. 

“I know why.” 

You brace yourself for mortification. 

“It’s because you know you’re going to lose.” 

He has that smug smile on his face and it hits you. 

He has no idea. Tomura doesn’t get it — he thinks you’re upset about the game and not the fact that you can smell the citrus of his shampoo and see the flecks of black in his red eyes. 

God, maybe he’s an idiot. 

You want to kiss him. 

“Don’t be nervous,” he assures, giving you a little smile and grabbing the controller again, “I’ll walk you through it.”

There was something about Tomura’s choice of words that made you think maybe, just maybe, he had a little more of an idea about your mood than he let on. You press your thighs together, praying it was subtle, and mentally push away the arousal you began to feel at his low tone of voice. 

“Sure.”

The next round you both play goes the same as the others. Tomura winning and you barely breaking the top ten. Your frustration was becoming palpable as it no longer was fun to see your character cry at the end of the match. 

“We don't have to play anymore.” You look over at Tomura’s words and he’s stretching, eyes closing at the movement. You can't help but notice the sliver of his exposed abdomen as he reaches up. 

You get a glimpse of his lithe figure and feel your mind begin to wonder what the rest looks like, but cut your thoughts short as he adjusts and meets your eyes again.  

You should get out of here before you embarrass yourself.

“Where are you going?” Tomura questioned, the minute you stood to leave.

“Um, home? It’s getting late.”

“Not that late. C’mon, it’s a Saturday. You have somewhere to be or something?” He’s getting up and you can only assume it's to get another game. You are correct because he turns to show you the case and it’s of a white goose. “This game is more fun.”

You look at the time on your phone and shrug. He's right, it's not that late — there should be no harm in staying a little longer.

So you do.

And it’s worth it as you both watch two geese in the game with excellent teamwork terrorize a farmer.

“Okay, you distract him and I’ll take his hat.” You were on a mission and Tomura indulged you, making his goose honk while yours swooped in, effectively stealing the hat and allowing you both to progress to the next level.

“Hah! I knew that would work.” You feel elated as you watch the geese move on, waddling across the screen and into the next area, “And you’re not so bad yourself, for a goose.” 

Tomura huffs a laugh, shallow and light before turning to you, “I carried you that round, but okay.”

You haven't known each other long, but he already knows his way around getting you riled up. 

The comment makes you turn so that you are better positioned on his bed, one leg still hanging off the end of it while trying not to puff your cheeks. You would be fighting a losing battle if he saw how riled up you were.

“Hey, I’m the one who told you where the picnic blanket was!”

“Okay? And who brought everything to the blanket?” he leaned forward, invading your space and challenging.

You didn’t back down, both of you so close, almost nose to nose. “You. but only after I found everything.”

The distance between the two of you was slim, and the air was heated, his crimson eyes looked down at you with that smug smirk on his lips and you wanted to bite him.

Or kiss him.

Whichever came first. 

Tomura followed your line of sight and it only made his smug expression worse, if that were even possible — yet neither of you backed away. His lips parted like he was on the edge of saying something, but was cut off by the peppy chime of your phone’s ringtone. 

That seemed to dissipate some of the tension between you two as it caused you to back away and scramble to find your phone on his bed. 

Once you’ve gotten it and answered, there’s the familiar voice of your mother on the other end, worrying about where you are and questioning when you would be home, standard practice for her. After many reassuring yeses and “i’ll be there soon”’s you are finally free of the call, now knowing that you have to wrap this up and head out. 

“Who was that?” Tomura questioned and his voice seems loud in the quiet of the room. 

You turn back to him and his eyes are waiting, expecting. He’s not doing anything but looking at you and it still feels like he can see all of you, as if you’re naked and bare, exposed completely. 

“My mom.” You can’t help the small shrug of your shoulders, feeling a little embarrassed at how uncool it could look to have your parents keep tabs on you all the time.

“Aww,” Tomura coos, and it's said more like an afterthought, something to fill the air as he leaned forward — finally, finally closing the distance between you both and kissing your lips. 

It shocks you as you feel the soft cotton his duvet hit your back, Tomura’s lips still pressed to yours as he pushed you down. They were rough but so warm, just like the rest of him, and your hand seeks his hair, finally indulging in the urge you’ve had to touch it since you’ve met him. 

He groans when you give it a tug and you whimper when he bites your lip a little too hard. It drives you crazy and Tomura wastes no time in deepening the kiss, his tongue swiping over yours as his hands slide up your shirt. You let out a gasp  when he cups your breast, taking a sensitive nub between his forefinger and thumb. The feeling has you mewling into his mouth and arousal soaking your panties. 

It doesn’t take much to get you riled up, especially since the furthest you’ve ever gone with a guy is a kiss here and there. 

Tomura crowds your senses as he hovers over you, caging you below him as he sits between your spread legs. Your heart races as you keep your eyes squeezed shut, you don’t know how far you’re going to go, but you definitely did not think you would be losing your virginity today. 

He pulls away, lifting his shirt up and over his head, tossing it somewhere on the floor of the room. You waste no time taking in the new sight of his exposed chest, desperate to reach your hands out to touch. 

But Tomura was back down again before you had a chance to, his mouth making its way down your jaw and neck leaving kisses and licks in its wake. It’s sensitive, especially when Tomura sucks right on a particular spot on your neck, making you cry out. 

“D-don’t leave a mark.” You stutter, words nearly lost to the pleasure. 

“Why not?” The warmth of his tongue licking the area he’d just sucked on was making you shiver. 

Your hands were gripping his shoulder, desperate for any kind of grounding. “Because my parents. They would k-kill me.”

Tomura hums, seeming to take your concern into consideration before pulling away. You’re worried you’ve blown it and ruined the mood, but he just tugs at your shirt. 

“Get this off.” 

You can feel the heat on your face, from the kissing, but now you feel it burn more as you gaze at the man above you. The words make you stall, process what's going on — what you should do. 

No one’s seen you without a shirt, especially not in this situation, but honestly? Who cares. You’re an adult, you can and will make your own choices. 

There’s no one else in this room but you and Tomura, so when you sit up to remove your shirt and bra, catching Tomura’s eyes scan your newly exposed body, you can’t help but smile at the chill of excitement that dances down your spine. 

It makes your heart flutter so you pull him back into a kiss and back down onto the bed, fisting your hands in his ashen locks again and savoring the groans he made. 

Tomura makes his way down again, taking your right breast into his mouth and tweaking the nipple of your other with his free hand. The sensations are overwhelming and you moan, arching your back and trying with all you had to pull Tomura closer. 

He obliged by lowering his hips and grinding down against you, the press of his erection against your clothed cunt drives you wild. Tomura comes back up, claiming your mouth again and he is demanding as he deepens the kiss, giving you everything you wanted and more. 

You wanted to take it further, needed to take it further, but you weren’t sure how to progress from making out. Telling Tomura you were a virgin would probably make things awkward and you were going to lose it if everything ended here.

Tomura pulls away to look at you, flushed and red while you ponder what to do with your hand placement. You decide to wrap them around Tomura’s neck, pulling him close enough that he rests his forehead on yours. 

Your breaths intertwine as you both stare at each other in a daze. 

“What?” He asks first, breathless and curious. 

You cut your eyes to the side, hoping your scoff came off as unconcerned instead of wildly nervous, “Nothing! Nothing..”

Your tone is not lost on Tomura as he narrows his eyes, gears turning in his head and piercing gaze seemingly looking through you and into your deepest thoughts. “Why are you being shy like a virgin?”

The way you purse your lips gives you away and you do everything to avoid his gaze, which is hard when you’re both so close to each other. 

“Oh my god, you are.” There’s a whimsy excitement in his voice and suddenly, embarrassment is creeping its way back into your mind, “why didn’t you say so?” 

You look up as Tomura pulls back, his smile open wide on his face, ill hidden elation buzzing in his words. 

There’s your innate need to defend yourself and your honor rising up again and you can’t stop yourself. So what if you’re a blushing virgin. “Yeah, so? Aren’t you?” 

His shoulders give a small shrug, “Maybe.” 

Then he’s down again, lips next to your ear as his hands trailed down your waist, leaning goosebumps in their wake. 

“Have you ever made yourself cum before?” He asks and you can feel his smile against your ear.

Embarrassment has officially taken the forefront of your mind as you weakly shake your head no, “I’ve tried, but when I get close the feeling goes away.” Might as well be honest since it can’t get more vulnerable than this.

Tomura hums, one hand reaching to take your hand in his, “I could show you how, if you want.”

You feel his hand drag yours lower, down your body and to the hem of your pants and stop, waiting for a response. It feels like your nerves are in overdrive and you writhe below him in anticipation, nodding your head, “P-please.”

Tomura pulls away, taking his warmth with him as he reaches down to unbutton your pants, removing them and leaving your panties. 

“You’re soaked.” He muses, causing you to whine in anticipation. “Show me how you do it.”

And you do, slipping your hand under your panties and biting back a moan as your middle finger rubbed circles on your clit. You were dripping wet so your fingers glide easily and the feeling makes your eyes close. 

It's a song and dance you are familiar with in the heated nights of your bedroom. Trying and failing to make yourself cum because you’ve read about it, it’s supposed to feel good, but you just can't get there. 

Tomura watches on, absently palming his erection and watching you touch yourself. As much as he wanted to reach down and help you out, there was something about seeing you whine and writhe in his bed that made his brain wild. 

You were getting close and you knew because there was that familiar sensation of heat pooling in your lower belly, it was a pressure that got more and more intense as you chased after it, but every time, your hands would get tired and you would lose it. And with the momentum gone, you lose the orgasm. 

Your furrowed brows went from aroused to frustrated within the span of a second as, once again you’ve unintentionally denied yourself release. 

“Fuck,” Tomura breaths, hand now fully in his sweat pants as his breathing picks up, “you were close.”

“I know!” You whine, unsure what to do now, but Tomura has a few things in mind. He pulls his hand from his pants, not wanting to ruin his own orgasm and hooks his fingers on both sides of your panties, pulling them down and tossing them to the side. 

You were fully exposed and the only thing keeping you from pressing your thighs together and holding your dignity close was Tomura between them. 

You wish he wouldn’t look so much, but he does, drinking up the sight of your exposed cunt and licking his lips. You’re about to call him out of it before he dips back down, capturing your lips in his and it distracts you. 

It distracts you so well that the press of his thumb over your slick nub makes you cry out, the pleasure sudden and better than you imagined. Tomura devours your moans, rubbing slow circles onto your clit and easily picking up where you left off. Your hands find purchase on his back and your toes curl at the sensation. 

He had just started, but it was just right and you couldn’t stop yourself from arching your back, desperate for more and overwhelmed by the stimulation. 

“T-tomu..” You moan as you feel the horizon of warmth again and bury your face into his neck.

“Yeah,” his lips are by your ear again and you close your eyes, fully focusing on the feeling of his thumb working your clit and his low voice in your ear, “Just let go for me.”

And it all hits you, pussy pulsing in pleasure as you come undone, your cries muffled by your face in his shoulder. It feels like the end of a long marathon as the bliss spreads through your body like a warm blanket. 

You could only lie there as Tomura pulled away, kissing your sternum and all the way down until he was at eye level with your cunt. The action confuses you because he had just made you cum so why was he..? 

“What are you doing?” You ask, confusion muting the buzz in your head. 

His eyes meet yours, mischievous glint in them sending the butterflies in your stomach wild. “We’re not done yet.” 

And before you could question the man further he dips down, warm and wet tongue meeting your slit and diving into your slick entrance. The action makes you jolt, keening at the sensation and thighs reflexively closing against Tomura’s head. This action only spurred him on further as he lapped and dipped his deceptively long tongue in and out of your wet entrance, sticky slick walls clamping down on him as he sloppily ate you out. 

He was relentless as he drove your pleasure up the wall — blowing your previous orgasm out of the water with this new sensation. 

“Fuck, tomu — fuck its..!” You can’t form a coherent sentence because the pleasure was only building and building, giving your brain no time to catch up with your words. Your hands immediately found purchase in his hair, the soft ashen locks grounding you as he continued his actions, unbothered by your tight grip. 

Tomura decided to move up, licking his way from your hole to your clit, the overstimulated bud was next on tomura’s list as he lapped and kissed your bundle of nerves. 

The actions make you cry out, mind muddled as your body tries to figure out if you want to be closer or further away from the sensations. You don't have much time to reach a conclusion either as Tomura sucks your clit and your second orgasm of the night quickly builds up and spills over, making your back arch from the bed and your legs shake in pleasure. 

It feels like your mind is completely blank as tomura gives your cunt a final lap and your clit one last kiss before returning to meet your eyes again. 

You were face to face now and watching him grin down at you, and you couldn’t shake the feeling that you had made a deal with the devil himself as your mind swam in the pleasure radiating throughout your body. It all felt surreal, and your eyes naturally closed, enjoying the feeling of your second climax. 

“Aw, don’t tap out on me now, I haven’t even given you the final boss yet,” you hear Tomura coo, finally moving to remove his sweatpants and boxers and oh— 

You watch his cock bob between his legs and panic internally as you wonder how the hell that would fit inside of you. 

It’s like Tomura could read your mind, because his laugh brings you back to the present, “don't worry about it, promise it’ll fit.” 

You don't know if you should trust him on that, but you do — mentally preparing yourself as Tomura leans over you and into the drawer of his bedside nightstand. He pulls out a square foiled packet and it’s in that moment you realize – no, he was not a virgin and only humoring you. 

You don't have much time to dwell on it though because in no time he has the condom on and is lining himself up with your entrance. 

The nerves are making themselves known as the reality of your situation starts to set in. The thoughts don’t flood your mind for long because Tomura takes your chin in his hand, demanding your undivided attention as he slowly pressed into your cunt. 

The pressure of the stretch makes you whimper and your eyes reflexively close, but he was only getting started. It was the somewhat soothing feeling of Tomura’s thumb stroking your cheek that kept you grounded and able to withstand more of the stretch. 

Little by little, Tomura pushed on, guiding you with his words and reassuring you that it wouldn’t hurt for long. He was right up against your ear, the familiar smell of his shampoo bringing you comfort as your bodies intertwined. 

“That it,” he guided, voice low and hips still as he bottomed out. You felt so full. It was a sensation you’ve never imagined and could only whine as tomura started to pull back. “I’m gonna move now.” 

Even though the pain was there in the initial thrusts, there was also the feeling of dull pleasure, slowly growing and growing until the previous pain had all but gone away and now you were floating in ecstasy as Tomura’s thrusts began to speed up.

You gripped at his forearms as he gained momentum, hips rocking into yours and making you moan.

“You like that?” he husked, lips brushing your throat as his hips snapped forward and hit a particularly sensitive spot inside. 

“F-fuck, again, do that again,” you cry and Tomura focuses his attention right where you want him to. The feeling is euphoric as you feel a different kind of coil tightening in your lower abdomen. A feeling that makes your toes curl and your thighs tense and it's hit again and again. 

Tomura lets out a low groan, his own pace becoming unsteady as time went on. “You’re so tight..” he murmured, reveling in the feeling of your slick walls clamping down on him, “‘s like you’re sucking me in.” 

You’re nearing the end again, you can feel it, but you don't want to be. This all felt so good. “Tomu, I-I’m—”

Tomura cuts you off, pulling away to look you in the eyes, his ruby red gaze was hypnotizing. “Just let go, I’ve got you.” 

And you do, that’s all it takes for you to tip over — mind rushing in bliss as your heart fluttered at his words. 

You felt this orgasm deep in your bones, the overwhelming feeling of clarity and contentment settling within you as you were now along for the ride, enjoying Tomura’s increasing erratic pace while he chased his own orgasm. 

“Oh, fuck—” he pants, following behind you with his own climax. His eyes were squeezed shut as he rode it out, slowing to a stop and dropping his head onto your shoulder. 

The heavy breaths between you were the only sounds in the room as you stare at his ceiling — noticing the faded out green stars above. So faint you were sure they had been placed there years and years ago. It brings a warmth to your chest, something new among your many new feelings you’ve felt today. 

“Next weekend,” Tomura starts, still sounding a bit winded as he pulls out — and you wince at the soreness, the pain not really something you were prepared for — and lays next to you, “Next weekend we’ll rematch in Mario kart. I’ll help you get better.”

You smile, the buzzing excitement making you flush, “Okay, let’s do it.”

The next morning is one that leaves you with a forming pit in your belly. It is a Sunday morning, and Sundays are the day’s your family loves to enjoy a homemade breakfast and sit together at the table like a loving family. 

And they were loving! Loving and observant.

You felt as if your parents knew. Like they knew where you had been yesterday — somehow seeing through your foolproof lie of hanging out with an old school friend, but things were quiet. 

Everything on this Sunday morning had been proceeding as normal. Your parents were sitting across from you, none the wiser and laughing about a show they watched last night while you were out. 

It did not feel real. It felt like there was something you were missing, as if they were omnipotent and knew your every move. Knew that you were no longer their shining star child, that you had been up to things that were everything but innocent. 

You feel the same, physically. Maybe a little sore from how rough Tomura had gotten, but other than that, normal.

“Sweetheart,” your father’s voice calls you, cutting through your paranoia, “could you pass me the syrup, please.”

And you do, maybe with too much haste, but he does not comment on it. Instead he just pours the sugary liquid onto his pancakes and continues. “So your mother and I were thinking,”

Oh, god. They knew.

“We know you’re taking a semester off, but if you aren't happy with that college, we could look into other’s for you.”

Your shoulders relax. It’s just college talk, again. That was talk you could handle. 

“Um, yeah. That’s okay with me. I could always use more options.”

Your father smiles, “That’s our girl. Always so flexible with her options. We know it takes a lot of strength to take a break, but you did. We’re so proud of you.” 

The smile that graces your face is pitiful and filled with guilt that you prayed was not obvious. They really saw the best in you, no matter how suffocating they were. so it’s only right you follow the path that they lay out for you. 

“Our girl could never do any wrong,” your mother chimes in, chipper and full of admiration, “you’re just so smart.”

You only nod, now trying to tune them out as they go back and forth, discussing possible college they believed would be best for you. 

It really makes you wonder just how far that love and pride stretched when their angel of a daughter strays against what they expect of you.

—-------------------------

And not even six months later that same love and adoration is tested, put on the line and shown bare as your enraged parents look down at you. 

The same parents who doted on you about how much you made them smile. You who had made them so proud and apparently brought them so much joy. 

It’s suffocating as you sit right back on the very same couch where it all started, listening to a lecture from your mother about the woes and pains of having such a disobedient unruly child. 

Even though you’re an adult. 

Even though you can make your own decisions about your life. 

It’s maddening having to listen to your once so meek and complacent mother go on and on about how she would have never snuck around with some boy she’s only known for a few months. How she would never lie to her parents about her whereabouts and how it’s just unheard of that you would turn your location off. 

You shake your head, they wouldn’t understand. Your father wouldn’t even look at you. “Mom, please..” you start, wanting to offer anything to break up the nonstop lecture. 

“I just don’t understand!” Her voice is so high it’s nearly a yell, and your mother makes it a point to never yell. “He’s just a man! Why would you put yourself and your future at risk for some guy?”

“He’s not just some guy.” You mumble and curse yourself for trying, they would never see it your way. 

There is a buzz from the phone in your pocket and you habitually grab for it, pulling it from its place and you are not given a chance to check the notification before your mother snatches the device from your hand. 

“And no phone! This damn phone is the root of all your problems in the first place.”

Disbelief mars your features as the constant drilling catches up with you. “You can’t do that!”

She only folds her arms across her chest, head tilted in challenge, “I can’t? Watch me. You’re lucky we haven’t put you on the street yet with how irresponsible you’ve been.” 

It’s hard to understand what’s so irresponsible about taking birth control and practicing being safe. But you knew it was deeper than that. It was deeper than the boy and it was more than sex. 

They hated the lack of control they had over you and how it waned with every passing day.

“So, what, was this guy supposed to be the love of your life? Someone you would just run away with and expect to support you?”

Your mother’s voice grates on your ears and you just wish for this conversation to be over, you want this entire thing to be over and done with. “I don’t know. Maybe.” The defeat is evident in your voice and you shrug. “Can I go now?” 

They are beating a dead horse at this point and you’re over it. 

To your surprise, no one stops you as you rise, allowing you to take your leave before the tears clouding your vision could fall. 

The defeat you feel is deep and you can’t even muster the energy to slam your door shut, opting for a quieter close. The fragile click of your door was so soft and it felt as if you were made of glass. To slam the door would only make you shatter into a million pieces onto your bedroom floor. 

How foolish of you to think there could ever be a world where you had autonomy in a house filled with hawks. 

Your bed greets you with its cozy warmth and you allow yourself to fall apart there, letting out all of your despair and frustration into your pillow and leaving the pieces of your soul to be picked up in the morning. 

It’s been a week. 

A long, boring, drawn-out week. 

You are without your phone, without wifi and without your parents car — so you couldn’t go anywhere if you tried. 

It’s been a long week of nothing, not even from Tomura. You assume he can put two and two together and figure out something has gone wrong. The thought brings you a little peace, but not for long. 

You barely leave your room and barely say two words to your parents. The isolation is… lonely. 

Even if you went out to the living room to watch television, you run the risk of running into one of your parents — and you can really do without another lecture. The only thing on your mind this past week has been Tomura. What was he doing? Did he pick up on your silence? Last time he showed up at your house, but that’s not happening this time around. 

You sit up from your bed, realizing that sitting around rotting away would drive you mad, and look to your window. The sun was setting and dusting the rest of the world in pretty orange and pink hues. It would be nightfall soon, and you don't think you could spend another night in this room, alone. 

So, against all better judgment, you open your window, look back to listen for any suspicious footsteps — the lack thereof giving you the greenlight — and climb out of your window, stumbling on to the ground as you try to regain your footing from the drop.

You weren't sure where your feet were taking you, but you didn't care, the feeling of fresh air against your cheeks was all you really needed for a clear head.

Your feet lead you to the mall, the start of all your problems and the beginning of your independence. 

It felt strange, seeing all kinds of happy faces throughout the mall. Blissfully unaware of their freedoms and enjoying their night. The jarring feeling pushes your feet to the familiar route, flashing colors and blaring music of the arcade greeting you. 

It’s comforting, in a way. But you didn’t bring any money. You didn't bring anything but what you were wearing so you could only look around, watching friends and couples alike laugh together. 

There's an area near the back of the arcade with tall barstools and empty tables. You decide to take a seat there and sulk on your own. At least you were no longer trapped in your room, forced to watch your four walls while the days passed you by.

You were in a daze, tracing the brown lines on the wooden table with your eyes, until someone interrupted you by sitting right next to you. You turn to face the culprit, less than friendly words on your tongue and ready to let whoever have a piece of your mind. 

But you stop in your tracks as ruby red eyes look down at you. 

Tomura. 

He was here, next to you and your heart fluttered at the realization. 

“What’s your problem?” He joked, rasp in his voice comforting to your ears. 

You don’t stop yourself from pulling him into a hug, his black hoodie soft and familiar. “How did you know I was here?” You mumble into the fabric and miraculously Tomura understands you.

“I didn’t.” The admission causes you to pull back, looking up at him through your long lashes. “None of my calls or texts went through, and I tried to stop by but your dad was suspiciously outside.” He brings a hand to your head, brushing your hair back and giving you a small smile. “I still like coming here, so I did. Something to pass the time. Ironically, I saw you walk by. 

You hum, fighting the pout that wanted to make its way onto your face. “They took my phone. They took everything, even the birth control pills. I can’t keep living like this, Tomura.”

“I know.” He responds, soothing your nerves even with his presence. “I can get you another phone.”

The suggestion only makes you shake your head, it doesn’t tackle the real underlying issue. 

“It doesn’t matter. It’s only a matter of time before they find that too. We’ve seen that they aren’t above going through my things. It’s hell. I can’t do it anymore.”

This seems to make Tomura ponder, taking your words in and running them through his mind for a solution. His expression is fixed when he looks back at you. 

“Then don’t.”

“What?” 

“Don’t go back home.” He elaborates, “Come stay with me. My place is big enough, it shouldn’t matter.”

You are shaking your head before you realize, pulling away from him with a stern look. “No, no I can't do that. I can’t impose on you like that.”

Tomura gives you a halfhearted glare. “It’s not imposing if I'm offering. They’re assholes, and I'm usually home alone anyway. Well, besides Kurogiri.” He leans in, pressing his forehead to yours, “C’mon, just go home tonight, pack a bag and then meet me here tomorrow. Can you do that?” 

There was no other option you would want more so you nod, giving a short okay as Tomura presses his lips to yours. 

It's set — by this time tomorrow you will be free.

[charmandabear]

Office Hours - Chapter One

Summary:

Your colleague Dr. Ancunin is a smug condescending bastard and you can't stand him. But you also can't get him out of your head.

Pairing: Astarion/F!Reader Rating: E Word Count: 5.2k Tags/Warnings: unprotected p in v sex, creampie, no breeding kink, masturbation, vaginal fingering, vampire bites, modern au, college/university au, urban fantasy, enemies to lovers, like the briefest mention of suicide while talking about Hamlet

This would not exist without @zipzoomzaria's gorgeous glasses screenshots because PROFESSOR, PLS. Go follow her bc her edits are out of this world. The masturbation scene is also heavily inspired by @astarionfreak's "Are You Satisfied, Darling?" If you haven't read it what are you doing???

Read on AO3 ~ Masterlist

There’s something about him that rubs you the wrong way. It could be his arrogance, or the condescending way he peers over his glasses at you and your other colleagues. It might be the overpriced cashmere turtlenecks that hug his figure perfectly or the stupid silver earrings adorning his stupid elf ears. But every time he opens his pretty little mouth you feel a snarl growing deep in your throat.

This is the first university you’ve worked at where the theatre and English departments shared an office. Theatre and music, sure, even theatre and dance. But theatre and English? It feels insulting, honestly. English PhDs are some of the snobbiest people you’ve ever met, and they always speak to you like a child. Is it because they’re unimpressed by your MFA, like it made you less deserving of your position? Who knows. But Astarion Ancunin is no different.

“Grace, would you mind making twelve copies of pages 219-254 when you get a chance?” You hand the administrative assistant the heavy book. “You can leave them in my mailbox, I’ll pick them up later.” Grace opens the book to the instructed page.

“Oh, Much Ado About Nothing! I love that one!” she squeals with delight. “That Beatrice and Benedick,” she sighs, stroking the Complete Works lovingly. You smile at her cordially.

“They’re great, they’re basically the non-problematic version of Kate and Petruchio,” you respond in agreement.

“How tragic that Taming’s writing is better.”

You whirl around to see Ancunin walking in looking at something on his phone. He doesn’t even look up as he inserts himself into your conversation. You glare at his interruption. He looks up at Grace, bypassing you completely.

“Good morning, Grace darling, how are you today?” He sweeps over to her and takes her hand in his, planting a kiss on her knuckles. Gods he’s fucking insufferable. Not to mention unprofessional. Grace, however, blushes and giggles like a schoolgirl.

“I’m doing well, Dr. Ancunin, and yourself?” The tiefling’s voice jumps up about three pitches and her tail starts swishing excitedly.

“Leagues better now that I’ve been blessed with your presence,” he coos at her, voice positively saccharine. It takes every ounce of your patience to keep from rolling your eyes. He casts his gaze to you, and even you need to turn away from those piercing red eyes.

“Good morning, professor. Starting Much Ado with your students, I take it?” he asks with a light smile that makes you bristle.

“Yes, it’s a great way for them to practice switching between verse and prose,” you respond coolly, more than a little defensive.

“Of course, one of his best.” He glances down at the volume still in Grace’s hands and his eyebrows raise, peering over the top of his round glasses. “Going with the Bevington, hmm? Interesting. I’m more of a Norton man, myself.” He runs a slender finger along the binding as you grit your teeth. Is he really patronizing you over your choice of edition of Shakespeare’s Complete Works? Of course, he’s an English scholar.

“The Norton is a great tool dramaturgically, but the Bevington is a much better resource for actors, so, yes.” Your voice is steady but there’s an undeniable venom in it. Can he tell how much he’s bothering you? Probably, he’s almost certainly getting enjoyment out of riling you up. His little smirk would seem to suggest it, at least.

“Well certainly, and who knows acting resources better than our resident classical acting expert?” he intones, voice still dripping with honey. You narrow your eyes at him, unsure if he’s taking another jab at your degree.

“Well, as much as I enjoy standing around and debating the merit of various editions of the Complete Works, I’m about to be late for a meeting. Grace, thank you so much, I’ll be back later to pick up those copies. Dr. Ancunin,” you turn to his smug face and he looks back at you innocently. “A pleasure, as always.” You grab your papers and leave the office, feeling the heat of his gaze boring into the back of your head as you leave.

***

“Yes, Thaniel, come on in, have a seat,” you call out to the freshman loitering in the hallway outside your office. He comes in and drops his overfull backpack next to the teal club chair across from your desk. You close your laptop and smile at him warmly.

“So, Hamlet, that’s ambitious! I think it’s a good choice for you, but it’ll be a lot of work,” you say, glancing at your own copy of the monologue.

“Yeah, that’s why I’m here,” Thaniel says nervously. “I’m fine with the scansion and stuff, that I get, but I still don’t get the actual words. And I know you said how important that is.”

“For sure, I can guarantee all of the bad Shakespeare you’ve seen has been because the actors had no idea what they were saying. Have you used the Lexicon?” Thaniel looks off to the side, embarrassed.

“No, I don’t really get how that works either,” he says, an air of chagrin creeping into his voice.

“No worries, it takes practice. Here, we’ll do a few lines together. So first off, to be or not to be, that’s fairly obvious, right?”

“Yeah, he’s talking about suicide, right?”

“Sure, but what is he actually saying about it? To take arms against a sea of troubles/And by opposing, end them. What’s ‘them’ referring to?”

“The sea of troubles?”

“Right, the aforementioned slings and arrows. So even though you might know what those words mean individually, look them up in the Lexicon to see if they have a different context here. But you’re right, he’s trying to figure out if it’s better to suffer through the shittiness of existence or to take your fate into your own hands and, well, end them.” You highlight the line and lean over your desk to show Thaniel. A voice pipes up from the doorway.

“That’s not exactly what he’s saying, you know.”

The paper crumples in your hand slightly as your fist instinctively tightens. You plaster a strained smile on your face and look up at him.

“Dr. Ancunin, thank you for gracing us with your presence. Care to elaborate?”

He’s leaning in the doorway, arms crossed, face in shadows. Your office is unusually dark because of the storm outside, and so the bright fluorescents in the hallway give him an almost ethereal halo effect

“It’s a common misconception that Hamlet is contemplating suicide here. Life and death, sure, but ‘to take arms’ isn’t metaphorical, it’s literal. He’s contemplating dying as a result of killing Claudius, not taking his own life,” he says, almost sounding bored. You stand abruptly, your office chair skidding backwards.

“How can that possibly be true? He says ‘to take arms against a sea of troubles.’ He’s using the active voice, deciding whether or not to continue his life or end it. To be or not to be. It’s the first line in the monologue. He’s not talking about the consequences of killing Claudius.” You try to keep your voice from shaking. You know that you don't sound nearly as eloquent as him, and it’s pissing you off. He shrugs nonchalantly.

“You’re oversimplifying it, it’s exceedingly more complicated than that. The whole soliloquy is filled with war imagery. He’s at war with himself, the part of him that wants to kill Claudius and the part of him that is afraid to die.” He pushes himself off the door frame and steps back into the hallway. “But apologies, please don’t let me interrupt your instruction.” And like that he was off, leaving you to stew in silence. Thaniel looks up at you and looks back at the doorway where he stood.

“Should I…” he starts, but you cut him off with a wave of your hand.

“Dr. Ancunin comes at this from a very different angle as an English academic. He’s more interested in the words on the page, rather than how they translate to the stage. But,” you sigh, loathe to give him any credit, “it’s a valid interpretation. We can go down that route, if you want, or we can look at it through this lens.” Thaniel chews his lip while he considers his options.

“I think what you said makes more sense, the suicide bit,” he finally decides. You nod and pull out your copies of the Shakespeare Lexicon.

“Great, let’s go over how to use the Lexicon again,” you say as you flip through the book, looking for the entry for ‘slings.’

***

You drop off your bag and toss your keys into a bowl on the counter. Fucking exhausting day. You unzip your boots and kick them vaguely in the direction of the shoe rack, stretching and curling your toes for relief. You hang up your wet coat and shake rain from your hair. Your eyes dart between the refrigerator, wherein resides a bottle of white wine, and the bathroom door, contemplating how good a hot bath would feel. Both? Both is good.

You pour yourself a generous glass of Riesling and strip your clothes on your way to the bathroom. One of the perks of living alone. Sitting naked on the edge of the tub, you sip your wine as the bath fills.

Fucking Ancunin.

You’re a little shocked at how much he got under your skin today. Normally you don’t think twice about him, excepting the few times you have the misfortune of passing him in the hallway. But today the fates decided to throw you together and your schedules aligned. Well, in your defense, you didn’t seek him out that second time, he was the one who decided to crash your office hours.

You don’t even like Hamlet that much. You certainly don’t care about alternative interpretations of “To be or not to be.” But you’re mostly annoyed because he had a fair point. His read makes Hamlet a more interesting character rather than a cowardly incel romanticizing suicide.

You slide into the bath, hissing slightly as the hot water flows over your chilled skin. Without prompting, Ancunin worms his way back into your thoughts. Hmmph. You take a gulp of wine to try to wash away the taste of the unpleasant image.

Well… not entirely unpleasant. He’s a good looking man, you’d be a fool to deny it. But gods he’s so smug. And interrupting your meeting with Thaniel was wildly inappropriate. Leaning your head against the edge of the tub, you try to focus your thoughts elsewhere. You’re not about to let him interrupt you again, and when he’s not even present, no less.

But there he is, in your mind, crimson eyes looking over the top of those metal frame glasses that you’re, like, 99% sure he doesn’t actually need to see. You take another swig of wine to drown his stupid face. With his stupid cheekbones. And his dumb fucking earrings that you want to bite.

Nine hells, what is happening? You’ve been drinking your wine quickly and aren’t thinking straight. You grab your phone and open Spotify, letting your daily mix play through the bluetooth speaker on the counter.

Now Playing: Hatefuck by The Bravery.

If I put my hands around your wrists, would you fight them?

If I put my fingers in your mouth, would you bite them?

By Mystra’s fucking grace, seriously? You growl at the growing heat between your legs. Between putting off dinner and chugging your wine, your head is swimming. You might be better off getting it out of your system.

The wine glass hits the tub edge with a clank as you angrily put it down and sink into the water up to your chin. You are satiating a purely physical need, nothing else.

You still shiver as you slip your hand between your legs, lightly running your finger up your slit. You can see his face, looking down on you through those glasses - those infuriating glasses - and your lips flutter. What does he look like under those sweaters? He’s so thin, but his clothes fit incredibly well. It’s not hard to imagine a sculpted body beneath. You spread your legs further and let the warm water tickle your folds.

His silvery curls would look so good between your legs, slender fingers wrapped around your thighs while he laps you up. At least then he’d shut up. A gentle moan escapes your lips as you run your finger along your inner lips, pretending it’s him. You could grab hold of those perfect locks, yanking on them to control where he can go, fucking his face.

You move your other hand up to your breast and start teasing your nipple, feeling his lips around it. You give it a little tug and groan, just like if he nipped at it.

You imagine sitting on his pretty face, pointed ears flushed and hair a mess. Your hips buck into your hand as they might on top of him and your toes curl. You make gentle circles around your clit, thinking of all the other uses for his silver tongue. You whine and squirm at the sensations of heat radiating through your body. You slip a finger inside and hiss as you can see his pale digits entering you in your mind’s eye. You curl it upwards and gasp, his imaginary eyes looking up at you through those long lashes and a smirk playing across his imaginary lips.

“Are you ready for more of me, darling?” You can hear him murmur into your ear.

“Yes, gods yes,” you reply breathlessly into the cold bathroom air. You slide another finger in and feel that delicious stretch. The ghost of him moans, coming undone at the sight of you. You could leave him speechless, for once.

You reach over the edge of the tub and grab the box of waterproof toys. You frantically sift through your collection of dildos, trying to find the right one. Here. It’s long and svelte like the rest of him, but bright shimmery purple. You suction it to the bottom of the tub and hover above it on your knees. It sways lightly in the water, tip of it teasing your pussy just like you’d love to do to him.

Gods, to see him beg for your cunt. To see him reduced to a babbling mess, pleading to let him inside you. Your breath quickens at the mental image of him pulling on his own hair waiting for you to satisfy him. You sink down onto the dildo and your groan of pleasure mirrors what you’d like to hear from him.

You start sliding yourself on the purple dick, feeling its ridges glide against the walls of your cunt as you continue to finger your clit. You imagine your hand splayed across his chest, your black nails standing in contrast against his pale skin. You claw at the bottom of the tub as you increase your pace, desperate to see the pink raised skin that your nails leave behind. The fingers on your clit speed up as well, and you can feel yourself getting close.

“Oh gods, Astarion, don’t stop,” the words tumble from your mouth unbidden. You will absolutely hate yourself for that later, but right now all that matters is your ecstasy. You bounce atop the dildo, disregarding the water that splashes over the side of the tub as you chase your finish. Your moans increase in pitch and fervor as the various images of him in all sorts of positions flash through your mind. Between your thighs, sitting on his face, riding his dick, even fucking pegging him from behind because why the hell not?

“Astarion!” You cry out his name as you crash over the edge, legs shaking and pussy pulsing. Your orgasm reverberates throughout your whole body as you ride it out. Eventually, your movement slows and the water gently sways around you. You look down at your hand, milky juices swirling in the now tepid tub water.

Shit.

***

The next day at work, you avoid him like the plague. You keep your office door closed, usually an unthinkable act but entirely necessary right now. You double check the hallway before leaving to go teach, and then after class you immediately duck back into your office and close the door again. You even avoid the main office for fear of running into him there.

You can’t look at his face right now. You can’t possibly look him in the eye.

When 5:00 rolls around, you glance out into the hallway. Most of the other professors are leaving. To play it safe, you decide to work until 6 so that you can be sure that he’s gone when you leave. You absentmindedly grade performance responses. After you’ve read one paragraph about Miss Julie maybe a half dozen times, you realize that it’s probably time to go.

You slowly open the door and glance out into the hallway. You can’t tell from this angle if his door is open or not. You grab your bag and coat, take a deep breath, and make a beeline for the stairs. As you approach his office you realize it’s open.

Fuck.

It’s fine. You’ll just walk past it and get to the parking lot and then you won’t need to worry about it. He might not even be in there. Or if he is, he probably has his head down and won’t notice you walk by. It’s fine. You’ve got this.

“Oh, professor, a word?” His voice floats into the hallway right as you’re passing his door. Are you fucking kidding? You turn to see him sitting at his desk, head down, writing something. He doesn’t even look up at you. Prick.

“Yes?” you ask, not budging from your spot in the hall. He glances up at you over his glasses. Those fucking glasses. You want to rip them off his face and throw them out the window.

“Do you have a moment? I think we need to talk.” His voice is low and cool. Does he fucking know? There’s no way he can know.

Right?

You tentatively take a step into his office. It’s surprisingly cluttered for a man who always looks so put together, but it’s still warm and inviting. You can barely see the walls for being covered corner to corner in bookshelves full to bursting. He’s got a big mahogany desk in the middle of the room - significantly nicer than the university-issued one. It’s covered in stacks of papers, books, weird little knick knacks; it’s amazing how he’s able to get anything done on it. There are two chairs facing his desk, much like yours, but a rich plush velvet instead of a scratchy cotton weave. He’s got a scent diffuser somewhere, giving the room an aroma like an earthy spiced tea.

“Have a seat,” he says, gesturing to the cushy red chairs across from him. You stand there, clutching your bag, staring at him like a deer in the headlights. When he realizes you’re not going to sit, he gets up and crosses over to the door.

“Do you mind if I close this? It’s… a bit embarrassing,” he asks with a crooked smile. You can feel the heat in your cheeks rising. Your mouth goes dry and you try to swallow the lump forming in your throat.

There’s no way he knows.

Right?

But something compels you to nod, so he closes the door and walks back to his desk, but rather than sitting behind it, he leans back casually on the front of it. He’s taken off the blazer he usually wears and is down to just the turtleneck, sleeves pushed up just below his elbows. He crosses his arms in front of his chest as you stare, waiting.

“I wanted to… apologize. For yesterday.”

You blink at him, the conversation not going in the direction you expected. You had been so focused on yourself, that it took you a moment to realize what he was referring to.

“It was inappropriate to barge in on your meeting with your student. You were mid-instruction, and I needn’t have inserted myself into your conversation.” He leaned back on his hands, stretching out his lean figure to impossible proportions. The grip on your bag slackened and you couldn’t help but drag your gaze over the length of his body. He looks at you quizzically.

“I get the sense that you don’t very much like me,” he muses.

Now it’s his turn to give you the once-over, and you feel practically naked before him the way he looks at you. “Then again,” he adds, and pushes himself off his desk. He slowly advances toward you, though whether like someone approaching a vicious beast or a predator stalking its prey, it’s unclear. You retreat while holding his gaze until your back is flush against the door.

No escape now.

He gets precariously close to you and takes an unsettling whiff. When he speaks again, his voice is a husky growl.

“I think it’s entirely possible you like me… quite a bit.” He’s got at least a half foot on you, and he looks down on you with heavy-lidded eyes. The heat in your face has fully reached the tips of your ears now, and your breath comes out ragged.

“I’m sure I-” you start, but it comes out thick and raspy. You clear your throat and try again. “I’m sure I don't know what you mean,” you finally manage with all of the composure you can muster. He cocks an eyebrow at you, then slowly takes off those infuriating glasses.

“No? Then perhaps I’m mistaken, and your heart rate hasn’t increased by approximately 20 beats per second in the past few minutes.” His eyes continue boring into you. “And maybe that smell between your legs is completely unrelated.”

An undignified splutter comes out of you as you press your thighs closer together. He takes a half step back to let you respond.

“If I am indeed mistaken, then I’ve said my peace and you’re free to go.” The seductive honey is gone from his voice, and in its place is a politely professional tone. You fully feel that he’s giving you an out, that you can both laugh on this as an embarrassing moment and neither will bring it up ever again.

But on the other hand…

“You’re not mistaken,” you choke out in a whisper. The lazy smile is back and he lifts your chin with his index finger.

“What was that? Speak up.” His command weakens your knees and you wither under his gaze.

“You’re not wrong,” you say more boldly, trying to meet his energy. His smile broadens, and for the first time you notice two pointy fangs slip out beneath his upper lip.

Fucking

vampire??

That explains how he could track your heartbeat, and even more his ridiculously keen sense of smell. Doesn’t make it any less humiliating.

“No, I don’t suppose I am,” he snarls and suddenly he’s kissing you roughly, hands twisting in your hair and one knee sliding up between your legs. He pushes you against the door and lifts you off your feet slightly. You’re desperate just to keep up as he devours you, hands weakly grasping at his hips, shoulders, neck. But he’s fully in control of the kiss, and after a moment you let him take you.

He breaks the kiss but doesn’t pull away, and you’re both breathing heavily, air cycling between your lungs. Your head feels full of a thick fog and you can’t fully see straight. His hands are still in your hair, tight but not pulling - yet. You get the sense that might not last long.

He drops to his knees and you nearly double over from the sudden lack of support. He runs his nose and lips across the hem of your black denim skirt, inhaling again. Your fingers lace into his hair, but not even remotely in the dominant way from your fantasy. At this point you’re just trying not to collapse.

He looks up at you, flashing another fang-bearing grin. His hand slips up your skirt and his thumb runs across your pussy, barricaded by your sheer tights and panties.

“Darling, you’re positively soaked,” he hums contentedly. “You’d have a hard time hiding this from anyone.” You bite your lower lip, trying to keep the needy whines at bay. But when he fiercely rips the crotch of your tights and presses the flat of his tongue against the drenched gusset, you can’t stop the cry from escaping your throat. He sucks lasciviously, the debauched slurping noise ringing in your ears. Your knees buckle and he grabs hold of your hips, hiking your skirt up to your waist to get better access to your dripping cunt.

He stands and kisses you again, the taste of you lingering on

his lips. He grabs your ass and digs his fingers into your flesh, spreading them until you gasp into his kiss. In one fluid motion he sweeps up your legs and wraps them around his waist, carrying you over to that incredible mahogany desk.

He plops you down on the hardwood and you hear books and papers tumbling onto the floor behind you. He presses his bulge into your mound, this time the sound of both of your moans mingling pleasingly. He tears at your chiffon button down, trailing hungry kisses down your chest as you throw your head back in pleasure. He makes quick work of fully removing your top, though you’re certain he sacrificed some buttons in the process. You hardly care as you paw wantonly at the back of his neck, desperate for him to get his lips onto every single inch of you. He pulls the lace cup of your bra down with his teeth and starts sucking on your nipple, pressing his hand into the small of your back. You arch into him, his hands working you like a soft clay.

So much for the pleading mess that you pictured last night. Instead, you’re the one who's been reduced to shambles, begging for satisfaction.

“Puh-please,” you stutter, and those devilish eyes lock onto yours again. He snakes his way back up your chest and bites your lower lip.

“Puh-please what?” he mocks your stammering, but makes up for it when he rolls his hips forward, dragging that delicious hardness against you. You squirm, trying to pull him closer but he’s got your arms locked in his grip. His lips leave yours and ghost over the flesh of your neck. He very gently scrapes his fangs across your jugular, eliciting a ghoulish moan from you in return. By all the gods, you hadn’t even considered that as a part of it. His movement made it clear that he won’t bite unless you want him to.

But holy hells do you want him to.

“Gods Astarion,” you gasp, and you swear you can feel his cock twitch at the sound of his own name. “Fuck me then bite me, or the other way around I don’t care, but please get in me!” The string of words almost sounds foreign to your own ears, but you’re well beyond the point of trying to sound clever. In an instant, he’s undone his belt buckle and his erection springs forth, bouncing and already dripping precum. He roughly shoves your panties to the side and sinks his cock and teeth into you simultaneously, drawing out your cry of both pain and pleasure. You wrap your legs and arms around him, trying to pull him in deeper. You can feel his mouth filling up with your hot blood just as your cunt fills up with his dick.

You’re panting as you grow more lightheaded, clinging to his neck. Unthinkingly, your fingers stroke his ears, playing with those tiny silver hoops. He lurches and pulls away from your neck, looking absolutely feral with your blood dripping down his chin, which only sets you off more. You angle your hips toward him, trying to get him to start thrusting into you. He pushes your back down onto the desk and hooks his elbows beneath your knee high boots. Then he starts pounding into you properly, and you feel like you’re close to losing it. You grab onto the edge of the desk as he revs up his pace, his cock stretching you out as he keeps your legs close to your ears. You can feel the heat mounting in your core and you know it won’t be long before you come. But at this point you’re just trying to hold on for dear life.

“Fuck, gods, Astarion, I’m-” You finish before your sentence does. He doesn’t relent as the orgasm wracks your body, if anything, he fucks you harder. Just as you’ve barely come down off your climax, he pulls out and yanks you off the desk, spins you around and pushes your face down into the smooth mahogany, warmed from where you had just been. He enters you again, this time from behind, and already you’re working your way up to a second one. Your bare tits squish against the polished surface and he grabs your hair, pulling your head up and arching your back into him.

For the first time you notice the mirror on the opposite wall across from his desk. But rather than both of you, you only see yourself, disheveled and well-fucked, lips swollen from his abuse. Your hair is pulled up by an invisible force behind you. Another unexpected aspect of vampire fucking.

You desperately wish you could see his face because you can feel his thrusts getting more uneven and erratic. You try to turn to get a glimpse of him, but his grip on your hair remains tight. But even if you can’t see him, you can hear him, his grunts and the low string of incoherent swears pouring out of his mouth. The sound of him getting lost in you is enough, and your own moans start building and mixing with his, an utter symphony of epicurism.

His hips give a few more broken thrusts and you can feel his climax, setting off yours. The throbs of his cock match those wracking your cunt, and you hold onto the edge of the desk as the waves wash over you. Once they’ve come to an end he pulls out, and you can feel his semen dripping out of the sudden emptiness and running down your leg. You quietly say a thankful prayer for your IUD.

You’re both panting as he collapses onto your back, planting a half-hearted kiss on your spine. You weakly push yourself up off the desk and see the devastation of papers, smears and fluids. You turn yourself around and relish in his appearance. Your blood is splattered on his fine cream sweater, his usually perfectly coiffed curls damp and sticking to his forehead. You reach up and wipe the remainder of your blood off his chin. He smirks and kisses you, significantly more gently this time.

“That was good,” you murmur through steadying breaths, “but next time, keep the fucking glasses on.”

[nullbojack]

The drama is everything wrong with the Eternitydev community

This post will be long as I'm listing every wrong doing this community has done. For almost 2 years I've been watching this drama and I am just annoyed and disappointed how childish this community is. Even MrDrNose doesn't behave like a mature adult like he should.

I won't name any of the cuprite behind the harassment and death threats because this will just incite more drama. 1. Malicious harassment and slander of the Doc writer who is 16 years old! The person who wrote the document known as the "MrDrNose and the Eternitydev Community Exposed" is "Proto-Kaiden". Who is a minor who wrote the document to call out the wrong doing of the community after they were bullied and harassed out of there.

Of course it wasn't about the harassment. As it shared some other topics such as the concerning choices the developer has made toward the game (Inserting more easter eggs and a repeated 'fetish inserts' of a character instead of focusing more on building the game more), or the time the moderators refused to ban an exposed pedophile from their server after numerous minors were sexually harassed. Now these are concerns that needed to be brought up, and some people have agreed that this is something that need to be resolved. However there are a terribly amount of fans who responded with harassments and threats. These people were upset to see a document on their developer and decided to stalk and harass this minor and continually send threats, insults and tried to spread lies about them to try and get more people to harass them. They even made a subreddit which had around 40 - 50 members all dedicated to try and "Remove Kaiden". Thankfully it was banned, but the fact people went this far over a document is disgusting and not okay. We are supposed to be a "Mature Community" yet can't behave like decent human beings and went to target a 16 year old because they wanted to silence him. They even try excuse their actions by bringing up what he done (That being that he "starts fight in the server" however when I look into this, this is not true and that its the mods who started fights about him for doing almost anything,) or just making up baseless claims.

They even went as far to slander him of being a PEDO with no proof.

Of course it wasn't just Kaiden that they targeted, they targeted people who would take his side, even people who wanted to stay away from the drama were harassed because they agree with the document. This isn't okay and that needs to stop. What make this bad is that MrDrNose enables this behavior and pretends this isn't happening despite many people bringing this up. Not only that he even punish those who goes against the harassment.

On the Eternitydev Wiki three people (one of which is a mod) got banned because they argued with an individual who has been trying to harass Kaiden. Unfortunately I do not have the screenshot of the entire thread as it was removed, but I remember the people that got banned from that thread who called out the harasser for their behavior.

2. MrDrNose had the chance to resolve this drama with Kaiden but choose to throw it away and ghosted the drama.

The biggest disappointment is that MrDrNose have enable this drama to continue. Early this year he was confronted by his own fans on Itch.io (it was a crappy drama that happen over a ingame file titled 'Ariral sex treehouse',) that he could discuss this with Kaiden and resolve this issue so that everybody can be satisfied. He said he will give it a try. However he didn't do anything to even talk to him and actually ghosted the situation and try to keep people from talking about it. As shown by Kaiden himself, Nose did not dm him on twitter or discord.

This actually annoyed me but this drama is still happening because MrDrNose did not want to confront about it and settle it. When it was asked if he did contact Kaiden, Nose would make claims that he did but that he would claim that Kaiden was demanding. He did not provide any screenshots to prove that he did contacted Kaiden and was accused of lying to try and keep the drama going. MrDrNose would respond by banning a few accounts from the comment format and he would change the Itch.Io comment format and have his moderators delete any comments that asked about the drama. It is completely shitty for MrDrNose to let the drama continue for a long time without ACTUALLY trying anything to resolve it peacefully and instead hides from it enable weird people to harass people who goes on the Document's side. What MrDrNose did wrong is enable a conflict that could of been ended so much earlier if he actually care to end it. Instead he ghosted it and let people be harassed over it. I don't even get why he would let this continue. Does he like the drama? Does he like negative attention? Either way, This just hurts the entire community and it's reputation and that will affect the game's popularity because people will be turned off from wanting to share content about VotV because of this hostile and toxic community full of overzealous man-babies who will fight to the end of the earth until Kaiden is gone from the internet.

I don't think I need to explain what he should of done to make a better outcome. It's obvious what he should of done instead of what he just did. 3. MrDrNose is immature and it becomes a problem. MrDrNose's is undeniably immature, and this lack of maturity has caused some issues which make people turn on him. Instead of acting like an adult, he acts like a complete child and antagonize people. For a while now he's been confronted by old fans who has issues regarding if he will ever truly remake the game "Advanced Education with Viktor Strobovski" like he said he would. These fans have lost their trust with MrDrNose after he suddenly deleted 'AEwVS specific channels' and made the server entirely VotV focused. Because of this, fans go out to call him out. And MrDrNose would respond the worse way possible by threatening to delete AEwVS off the face of the earth.

And surprise! This causes more conflict in the community.

My next example of how immature is that he degrade people who call him out, referring to them to be "Mentally ill".

This just make everyone see him as an ableist assholes. Which he is an asshole. Just calling people mentally ill as a way to cope with being called out for his flaws is unprofessional at best and will make people turn on him more for acting this way. One last example of his immaturity is when he told about why he is getting hated.

I don't really need to point out why this is immature. If he sees issues about himself such as "sexualizing characters in public channels" (Inside of a discord server that have members below the age of 17) and "Backstabbing his older fans" as something that "only children will care about," it just make everyone look at him as someone who is not to be trusted if he does not recognize what is right or wrong. It actually pisses me off how a grown ass man cannot acknowledge to why people turn on him and act confused and mad about it and resort to calling them "children" and "mentally ill" for it.

MrDrNose actually need to rethink how he's been behaving and need to learn that lashing out like this will make things worse for himself. The best salutation is to listen to people and respond like a reasonable adult instead of a child. Instead of threatening to delete a game to keep old fans hush hush about it. He should instead reassure that eventually he will remake the game, and I think the best way to convince the old fans to trust him is to share hints of ideas of what he may add in the Remake of AEwVS. Instead of treating issues about his server as nothing but "something that children only care about," he should instead admit that these things are wrong and that he should do better and make sure to not make these mistakes again.

If he continue to behave like this, the game might as well be doom to fail if he can't get his crap together and behave like an adult. People can and will get sick and tired of this and will move onto another game that will explode in popularity. I already know that tons of people have move on from the game. The game ain't exactly being developed properly. Sure it does get updated that add a few major changes, but along in the update are just a dozen "Easter eggs and secrets" that doesn't even need to be added. The game has enough secret easter eggs yet MrDrNose still add 23 more easter eggs in the game despite it not even being necessary. I find it to be kinda lazy if the developer works on these "Major updates" and half of it is just a dozen easter eggs.

It gets very annoying and get people tired of having all this crap be shoved into the game instead of real content such as new Entities, Signals and events. MrDrNose honestly should actually work on the game where he adds more entities and signals instead of making 25 easters eggs. There is ENOUGH easter eggs in the game. 4. Why am I making this post? I'm just completely tired of people being completely ignorant and going around hurting others. People need to grow up and just accept that these are real issues that can't be shrugged off, and not going around throwing baseless pedo accusation to harm a minor for writing a document. The only way the community can become better if the people in it become better human beings that behave civilized and understanding, while the bad ones get exiled from the fanbase. And I wanted to point out to MrDrNose that he should grow up and learn to stop behaving like this child that get cranky that they get called out for not being perfect. If you are reading this, MrDrNose. There is no question that your game is great. However, just because your game is great doesn't mean you can't make mistakes. You remain accountable for your deeds, the conduct of the community, and the consequences that result. Give up trying to prove that you did nothing wrong and simply acknowledge that you made poor decisions and that you need to improve. Is that really difficult? The popularity of your game will suffer as a result of the many bad actors in your community has done. Plenty of people have already left the community because of a lack of hope or interest. You can still make an effort to show people that you're going to do much better and make changes that will hopefully make a much better future for the people in the community. The best way to start is by settling this drama.

[why-1s-th1s]

IT HAS BEEN FOUND

Hi!

The beginning of it was Crowley couldn’t find a way to get Yuu home, so they stayed and got married to [insert boy of choice] but the Twisted Wonderland government found out and sent Yuu back home, but Yuu was pregnant — this was unknown to the government. Yuu ends up back in their small town where they’re now treated as outcasts. Yuu has amnesia and it gets worse every time they look at their son (Yuu and boy-of-choice child) and remembers [boy of choice]. Yuu dies when their son’s a teenager, and the son gets isekaid into Twisted Wonderland. There he gets sorted into a dorm (Riddle’s son is in Heartslabyul, Azul’s is in Octavinelle). Twisted Wonderland is also in shambles without Yuu: everyone’s overblotting (Riddle is an overblot), the ocean is unlivable, the world is basically in apocalypse mode. In order to save Twisted Wonderland, Yuu’s son must go back in time and do something so that Yuu can stay (I don’t remember what he has to do). I think he gets teleported to Yuu’s time when they’re doing Vargas’ Camp?? I think it had something to do with a camp idk. I think the son calls himself something like “Yuukun” when introducing himself to them. There are different summaries(?) for the boys. (I only remember a few, which are the ones I list)

Ortho: Ortho scans Yuu’s son (Yuu + Idia), and finds that he has the Shroud curse Ruggie: Doesn’t care. Time isn’t real so he can still shoot his shot with Yuu Jamil: Super suspicious when Yuukun tries getting close to him. He’d understand him getting close to Kalim, but choosing him??? Weird and suspicious Trey: Wonders why Yuu stopped coming to visit. Turns out Yuukun was baking Yuu treats. He gets jealous of Yuukun. Sebek: Gets into a shouting match with Yuukun Rook: Gives Yuukun a nickname (I think it was based off a duckling?) Floyd: Gets jealous of Yuukun and calls him Shrimpy Jr (I think) until he finds out Yuukun’s his son Ace: I don’t remember Ace’s reaction but I do remember a line from Yuukun’s POV “In his eyes, his father only had his dignity, and not even that.” (I think that’s how it went) It was because of the way Ace acted around Yuu

There was more stuff for different characters, like it gave more background on Yuukun’s past depending on the dad:

Riddle: Yuukun is very short and angry, which caused him to be a troublemaker back in Yuu’s world. He knows all 810 of the Queen of Hearts rules, but I think he’s lax with them. Riddle is an OB in this timeline (or maybe all of them?) Azul: Yuukun is shy and chubby as a child. He’s still shy, but he turned the baby fat into muscle. He’s afraid of Azul. Yuukun could beat him in an arm wrestling match. Ace: Has zero respect for Ace Sebek: Sebek 2.0 but is loyal to Yuu instead of Malleus. Gets angry when Sebek insults Yuu (cue shouting match) Floyd: Yuukun was part of his old school’s swim team. Loves swimming. Monstro Lounge doesn’t exist in NRC anymore. Is appreciative of Octavinelle’s oceans so he can get an understanding of what the oceans are like in twst due to most of them being polluted. Defensive of Yuu when Floyd approached Yuu and him. Understands Floyd is a predator but is happy to hear his father’s voice for the first time. Back in Yuukun’s timeline Floyd might be dead and Jade asks Yuukun to make sure he gets more siblings so he (Jade) can be a bad influence on them. When Floyd learns Yuukun’s his son, he takes him swimming to talk and tells him he’d never abandon him, and “wasn’t he there at all?”

Please help I’ve scoured the internet for it and left empty-handed (also Ty for taking the time to read :>)

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Y'know, it's unfortunate more people don't compare Louis and Violet in good faith.

Like, when I do see people compare them, it's usually through the lens of one is good, and the other bad. One is more canon than the other, and here's why. One is objectively better for Clementine, and the other is less impactful, worse written, didn't have chemistry with her, insert several insults here, etc.

I don't think it's inherently bad to express why you might not like one of them, or why you prefer one over the other. That's fine, that's a matter of opinion. It only gets to me when it becomes hostile, or passive aggressive... but even then, I've learned to just roll my eyes and move on. Some people make it very clear that they're not worth having a discussion with.

However, I wish I could read more nuanced comparisons of the two that didn't default to the "and that's why this one is better." At least some are kind enough to tack on a "for my Clementine" at the end.

You know how it goes: Louis is cute and he makes Clementine laugh, whereas Violet's boring, her love is shallow, she's still not over Minerva and she's using Clementine as a rebound. Violentine's a bad ship because Violet's actually a traitor, and they're practically the same person and that's bad.

Violet's loyal and reliable, whereas Louis is annoying, he never takes anything serious, he's a traitor for his vote, and he's nothing but a distraction. Clouis is a bad ship because how could any Clementine possibly like him after he voted her and AJ out? That's bad!

That's always the conclusion, right? One good, one bad.

This is incredibly limiting and it drives me nuts.

They're foils. They contrast one another, highlight each other's strengths and flaws, in such an interesting way that it makes Clementine's choice between them all the more meaningful.

One is not good and the other bad, they're different, and I think that's worth exploring.

Let's start with a common argument: Violet is the more impactful option due to her connection to Minerva.

Now, to be fair, I can understand why someone on Team Violet would believe this. Yes, it's true that the confrontation with Minerva is more impactful for a violentine shipper who has more investment in Violet as a character. Louis doesn't have as strong of a connection to her.

However, what they're failing to recognize is that Minerva isn't the only ghost to haunt this narrative. Violet may have Minerva, yes, but Louis has Marlon... and that doesn't just go away once Marlon's dead.

Violet's route has Minerva as her ex-girlfriend, and her bond with Tenn that all comes to a head on the bridge. Louis' route has Marlon's death and how that specifically impacts his relationship with AJ and Clementine, and the slow burn of forgiveness on all sides.

Marlon and Minerva are also reflective of Clementine's worst outcomes.

Clementine and Marlon were tied together through Brody's blood splattered on their hands and faces. They both killed a part of Brody, but only one of them lies about who killed her first.

After Marlon dies, Clementine gradually replaces him throughout the game; Rosie is her dog now, she uses his bow [which Louis gave her], she becomes the leader. Clementine gets them to fight back, and when three of her people are captured, she doesn't cut her losses. She does what Marlon couldn't; "we're getting them back."

When she chooses Louis, he does for her what he never did for Marlon: he steps up.

Clementine proves she won't become Marlon just as she proves she won't become Minerva.

After getting James to agree to help them, Clementine and AJ talk about what to do if she ever gets bit. AJ says he'd want her to bite him, too. He repeats this sentiment after she's actually bitten, telling her he wants to stay and they could turn together, peacefully.

When Minerva confronts them on the bridge, she's dying... and she wants Tenn to die with her. She doesn't care who she has to kill in the process. She's more monster than human at this point, and most times, she succeeds.

They're both bitten. Clementine could've become a monster like Minerva in the end. She could've killed AJ, and they could've become walkers together. But she didn't. Minerva wanted Tenn to die for her, and Clementine wanted AJ to live for her.

Also, I should mention she has Minerva's axe. She carries the key weapons associated with Marlon and Minerva throughout different points in the game, further solidifying these connections. She uses Marlon's bow to save her friends, and she uses Minerva's axe to save AJ, who in turn uses it to save her.

What's also so interesting about this is how Marlon's alive in episode one, and Minerva is thought to be dead. Louis has his best friend, and Violet's lost hers. But, at the end of the episode, Marlon's dead and Minerva's revealed to be alive.

Marlon becomes the ghost, and Minerva becomes the monster. Clementine becomes to Louis and Violet what Marlon and Minerva never could... how does that not drive anyone else insane?

So, no. One is not objectively better, or more impactful, because of a connection to Marlon or Minerva. They're different. It just depends on which storyline you personally find more compelling.

Actually, let's talk about that a little more.

In my opinion, the most intriguing point of comparison between Louis and Violet stems from their perceptions of survival, and how that impacts Clementine.

An argument I see made against violentine is that Violet's boring because she and Clementine are too similar. This usually comes from clouis shippers who prefer the "opposites attract" dynamic Clementine and Louis have.

On the flip side, there's the counter argument that Louis is reckless, that he doesn't take survival as seriously as he should and Clementine wouldn't want him because of that.

These are interesting to me because I get where they're coming from... but they ultimately miss the point.

The other day, I replayed TFS. Except this time, I did something a little bit differently. I played my usual clouis route, but then I had the violentine route pulled up on my laptop so that I could watch these scenes, comparing them side by side… and something occurred to me. 

Louis is about challenging Clementine's perception of survival, and Violet is about validating it.

Louis challenges Clementine from the very moment we meet him—he’s playing music. His initial philosophy on survival butts heads with Clementine’s. The fact that hunting with him and Aasim challenges your perception of “your choices have consequences.” These games have conditioned the player to think along the lines of, “Yeah, Louis is more fun… but if I don’t hunt with Aasim, we won’t have any food.”

Except that’s just it. I hate to say it, Aasim, but in the grand scheme of things… hunting with you doesn’t matter. It's actually less rewarding. You know why? Because in the next section, we get food from the train station. It would’ve been more beneficial to spend time with Louis over hunting, hence how he challenges you.  

This then primes you for the choice between choosing to follow Louis or follow Violet. I know people complain about how this is presented with Violet doing something productive [checking the walls] and Louis playing piano… but that’s the point. If you’re going through with Louis’ full route, you need to meet him at his level, and in turn, he will meet you at yours. You need to accept the challenge, the idea that Clementine isn’t entirely right about the way she’s gone about survival.

Oh, and do I even need to mention the vote? The debate over Louis’ vote is exhausting. Often times, people tell on themselves in how they talk about it. It’s not actually about the fact that he voted against them. If it was, these people would have a bigger bone with pick with Mitch, Willy, Ruby, and Omar… and yet Louis is the one who takes all the blame as if he’s the only one personally kicking them out. 

Louis is reacting to the death of his best friend, and the complicated feelings that come with it being caused by AJ. He wants accountability, even if he knows something's wrong. You can either agree with him that it was murder, and set AJ on the path of atonement… or, you can double down and tell him to fuck off, AJ was justified. 

But here’s the thing… the vote adds to the appeal of Louis’ route. To someone who hates him, or at the very least is critical of his vote, that sounds mad or delusional.

Except it’s really not.

Ever heard of a thing called tension? Because there’s a lot of it in ep2 between clouis + AJ and it’s fantastic.

Yes, Louis voting them out is problematic because we need a problem to solve. We need something to feed the tension between him and Clementine. He stepped in front of a gun held by his best friend in order to protect her, forever changing their relationship… only for that to seemingly be taken away from us the moment AJ shoots Marlon. 

Yes, Louis’ route is about being challenged, but it’s also about challenging him. That he’s able to forgive them, that he’s able to question his own survival philosophy and understand theirs, that he’s able to apologize and actually change for the better… that right there is what makes clouis so damn good. 

He becomes hardened whereas Clementine softens. By the end of the game, they’re on a similar level now without neglecting their differences, and they can move forward together. 

That’s what makes Louis’ route appealing… and it’s also what makes it unappealing to people who prefer Violet. 

By contrast, Violet’s already on Clementine’s level when it comes to this perception of survival. She validates that Clementine’s on the right path.

They have other similarities in the way that they’re both female, queer, they both have a kid they look after, they’re not always great with other people, etc. 

People who prefer Louis might consider this boring, but I think to Team Violet, it’s comforting. It’s comforting to have a partner who takes this as seriously as you do, who wants to get shit done. They’re playing Clementine with a similar attitude, and don’t believe it needs to be challenged. It’s comforting to feel validated on something you already firmly believe in. 

We also see this if we compare the hunting and fishing scenes. You have to make an effort to choose Louis by choosing to neglect hunting, but the game makes you fish with Violet no matter what.

Violet’s prioritizing fishing because they need food. That’s what they’ve set out to do, so let’s do it. The game is letting you know that’s the case, and if you value that, continue pursuing her. 

While fishing, they discuss why things are weird with her and Brody. Violet doesn’t take well to Clementine’s blunt, “Because you make it weird. Brody tries and you just make fun of her."

That’s understandable because I think she already kind of knows why and is looking to have her feelings validated. She prefers it when Clementine suggests that it’s because Brody never said sorry for what happened to the twins. 

There’s also comfort and validation in the way Violet sides with Clementine and AJ after Marlon’s death. She votes for them to stay, vocalizing how much she disapproves of the results. There’s this feeling that I recognize from a lot of the sapphic romance I read; “it’s you and me against the world, I’ll always have your back, even if you’re in the wrong, I’ll fight for you.”

In our case, it’s violentine + AJ against the rest of Ericson, save Tenn and Aasim. Violet validates that AJ was justified because Marlon was a liar and murderer, claiming that AJ and Clementine did nothing wrong. Violet fights to keep them. 

The tension between violentine in ep2 is different because instead of one pushing the other away, they’re being forced apart by the vote and there’s nothing they can do about it. That tension is somewhat released when Clementine comes back and they’re reunited, working out a plan to best defend the school. 

It’s also why Violet’s presented as doing something productive when you follow her instead of Louis, and why she asks if you want to hang out after checking the defenses. 

All that being said, allow me to reiterate that one is not good and the other bad, they're different. These concepts of challenge and change/validation and comfort exist on a neutral road as diverging paths. It’s up to the player to pick what path they prefer, but that doesn’t mean the other path isn’t worth acknowledging or analyzing. 

I should also mention that they’re not exclusive; there is overlap with validation being present in Louis’ route and challenges in Violet’s. They’re just more present in episodes 3 and 4 after we’ve made our decision. 

There are several more examples of how this all fits together, buuuuut–

Ya’ll wanna compare some allegories?

Those familiar with my content might already know where I’m going with this as I’ve made a post about Louis and the piano in the past. 

You see, I believe that there are allegories for Louis and Violet’s hearts present in their routes: Louis’ piano, and Violet’s pin. 

I already have a thorough, in-depth analysis of Louis and the piano that you can read, so all I’ll say about it is that on the night of the raid, he asked Clementine to carve a piece of herself into his heart so that no matter what, their initials will be immortalized together in its wood…

And that makes me fucking feral. 

But I'm also so normal about it.

As for Violet, her heart is the star gazing pin she gives to Clementine. She gives it to her so she’ll always remember that night… but she doesn’t give it to her until after Clementine’s saved her, and that fascinates me in the context of it being allegory. 

Louis asks Clementine to carve herself into his heart right before the raid, cementing that from that moment on, he is utterly devoted to her. I believe this is part of the reason why Louis is still happy to see her if he’s the one who’s captured. Yes, yes, he’s also incredibly traumatized from having his tongue cut out and he’d be happy to see anyone, yada yada… but listen, if you romance Louis and he’s captured, his heart remains with her—that piano with their intitals is on full display. When he sees her, he’s still so devoted to her that he refuses to accept that it’s at all her fault. Even when she says it is, he shakes his head... and he so easily accepts her when they’re together in the end. From the moment Clementine puts knife to wood, he’s hers. 

Now, look… you might think I’m going somewhere not great with this but hear me out. 

I think after Clementine’s gone star gazing with her, Violet is fully ready to give her heart to her. Y’know, give her the pin. But, think about what Violet said about how people have left, but Clementine came back. Plus, with the impending raid to think about, maybe Violet should keep the pin until the right moment. 

I believe a key difference between her and Louis is that Violet needs one last thing to solidify that Clementine’s the one. 

Louis gives her his heart prior to the raid because of everything that’s already gone down between them following Marlon’s death. Violet needs to know that Clementine’s willing to fight for her the way she fought before. When Clementine saves her from the raiders, it’s solidified. Even after she sees Minerva again, it changes nothing.

It’s also worth noting that the pin is something Clementine wears. Like the piano carving, it’s a piece on display for everyone to see, to let them know whose heart Clementine has.

Violet literally handed Clementine her heart as a means of saying, “I’m yours. I’m devoted to you.” 

This is why romanced/captured Violet is devastating, and is why she behaves the way she does in the cells. She was so ready to give her heart away and then nope, sorry, Vi! You get knocked unconscious by raiders instead! 

If anything, you kind of deserve to be told to fuck off if you romanced her and then let her get captured. Just sayin’. 

Look, I have a lot of complicated feelings about the captured violentine route, mostly with Violet being as forgiving as she is after her eyes are burned—yes, yes, I know, her eyes are burned and Minerva messed with her head so of course now she’s not hostile, yada, yada. 

But I think it’s rather telling that you don’t get the pin in this route. Sure, Violet’s willing to forgive and possibly pursue this romance in the future… but she’s not ready to hand over her heart, not truly. Not after everything that’s happened. 

And if you want to get extra angsty about it, imagine that Violet made the pin right after they parted ways, but before the raiders came. Meaning that if she’s captured, it’s possibly still sitting somewhere, abandoned. 

Mmhmmm, very normal about this. I feel normal. My normalness about this continues... normally. I'm not losing my shit thinking about that. Nope. Why would I? I wouldn't! So normal.

Okay just let me talk about their reactions to Tenn's death and then I'll shut up.

This makes me want to gnaw my own foot off, I can barely handle it.

AJ shoots Tenn on the bridge because Clementine trusted him to make the hard calls. This saves Louis or Violet's life.

When Louis jumps across, he's completely silent as he watches Tenn die... and then he's pissed; "What the fuck?! How could you just shoot him like that?!"

AJ explains himself, that he did it for him, and Louis is so upset that he forces AJ to look at what he's done, to watch the walkers eat Tenn; "Tenn's dead. He's dead! Do you realize that?! Look! [...] He's... he's gone, because of you. Just fucking gone."

If Clementine says AJ saved his life, Louis says, "So what, we just cut him loose? Gun him down like he was nothing?"

If Clementine says nothing, Louis says, "Tenn was just a little boy!"

The reason Louis responds this way is because in this moment, he just relived Marlon's death all over again, but worse. So, SO much worse!

When Violet jumps across, she breaks down, begging, "Oh, my God! Oh, my God! No, no! No, no, no..." as she watches Tenn die... and then says to AJ, "No! What the fuck?! How could you do that?!"

AJ explains himself, that he did it for her, and Violet is faaaar from okay; "For me? I can't... Tenn is gone! That soft little boy who liked to draw, he's gone, because of you!"

If Clementine says AJ saved her life, Violet says, "You think that's okay?! Just gunning down one of our own?!"

And there it is.

Louis is hardened in this situation because he already went through this... Violet hasn't, not with AJ. She softened up throughout her route due to her relationships to him and Clementine... but this is the moment where she realizes that maybe AJ wasn't as justified as she believed, and this is the consequence.

This leads us to the ending where AJ asks if they're still mad about him killing Tenn, and I just... I'm biting my foot right now because the script has flipped.

Louis is forgiving and understanding. He's soft, he's sympathetic, he shakes AJ's hand to let him know that all is forgiven and they're okay; "I... AJ, I guess it's like... You saw something I didn't. About the situation, I mean. Minnie and the walkers and Tenn, it's just all this chaos in my head when I think back on it. [...] Clem says you saved my life? Well, then, that's exactly what you did. And how can I stay mad at anyone for doing that?"

Or, alternatively, "He was your friend, AJ. I know you are hurting just as much as I am."

As for Violet? She's understanding, too... but she's not quite ready to forgive yet; "The thing you said on the bridge...that he was messing up all the time. It wasn't something new, you know. Tenn got himself or other people into trouble all the time, long before you guys got here. He was always so lost. He lived in a world that just...isn't there, you know? And that's why I tried to look after him. But when I was pulling him away from the walkers, and Minnie, I could also see...he just wasn't there anymore."

"So you're mad, but sad."

"Can I be that for a while?"

And it's completely understandable that she's hurting and struggling with how she feels about AJ moving forward! She wants to be okay, she wants to forgive him, she just needs time.

Now, because I'm forever bitter, but I'm gonna mention this as well: whenever I see someone point at Violet's scene and say, "See!? This is how LOUIS should've acted in ep2!" like... they're telling on themselves again. Not just that they don't understand Louis as a character or his route, but that they don't fully grasp Violet's part in this either. Or time frames, for that matter.

Let me put it to you in simple terms... they react the same.

After Marlon and Tenn die, they're upset. They're pissed. They blame AJ and yell at him. After they've had time to process what happened [Louis after the two week time skip, Violet after time passes between the bridge and the ending] they share the same, "I'm still upset about Marlon/Tenn. Can I be that for a while and still be your friend?" sentiment.

The difference is that Louis is treated poorly for it because of the vote, and because we feel it first hand for longer... Violet got to grieve off screen and come back after she's sorted herself out.

It's a disservice to both of their characters because it's rooted in that same mentality that I criticized at the beginning: "This is why one is better than the other."

Do I need to say it again? I'm gonna say it again.

One is not good and the other bad. They're different.

There are so many fun discussions that could come from putting Louis and Violet side by side, and examining them. I haven't even covered the different ways they're introduced, or compared their ep3 dates to see what it says about them and the overall narratives! What about the cell scenes!? How they react when Dorian's about the cut off their fingers! The way they approach James upon meeting him!

That last one in particular is especially funny! They're all under stress about blending in with a herd of walkers to infiltrate a boat to save their friends, and yet Louis easily saunters up to the guy wearing walker skins with a smile, and makes him laugh by saying, "Functional and fashionable. I'll take two."

Violet approaches James like he's an injured wild animal that's going to bite her, and bless her heart, she tries with, "I, uh… hey. Hey there, James. Sorry about Willy." Then James gives her this judgmental side-eye, like buddy? She's not the weirdo here.

There is so much potential to dissect here, and I want to see people do it... but I want them to do it fairly, in good faith.

I want to get away from the idea of comparing them to "prove" which is better because there is no objective better. There isn't! That's a waste of time!

I'm so done with The Debate™; it's unhelpful, it's annoying, and it's boring as shit. I've heard it all before, and you probably have, too.

I want to put Louis and Violet under a microscope and study them with the thought process of, "one does this and the other does that... what does it mean!? what does it say about the narrative!? Oh my god, they have the same opinion on this thing, WRITE THAT DOWN!"

So yeah, that's my ramble for the night.

I'm gonna go replay TFS for further research.

[moodymisty]

Perhaps a 40k character of your choice and someone not very comfortable in their body? Shamelessly self inserting I guess. Thanks so much! ☺️

[ 𝕸𝖔𝖔𝖉𝖞𝕸𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖞'𝖘 𝕸𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙 | 𝕬𝖔3 ]

Author’s note: Decided to do Guilliman. You didn’t specify anything (which is fine!) so I kept it vague for you. Enjoy!

Relationship: Guilliman/Fem!Reader(no pronouns are used, but reader compares themself to Fulgrim's wives and also mentions wanting a dress so femcoded one could say)

Warnings: None really

You wonder how Macaggian history can be so, boring. These history tomes Guilliman had given you while interesting, have largely been unbearably dull; Filled with little more than debate and the trials of leadership.

You had far preferred what Russ had once told you about the history of Fenris when you asked, though you’d never dare speak that to your beloved Primarch aloud.

Said primarch returns to your shared room not moments after you think of him, raking a hand through his own short blonde hair.

It’s quite late, the moon is high in the sky and has been for awhile now, and you assume he hasn’t had any rest in multiple days given you’ve seen little of him these past few. He’s been even busier than usual, since visiting Terra. Even if he has his Commanders take over a good portion of his duties while away from Ultramar, his duties on Terra tend to overtake his time and then some.

With nary a hello, Guilliman climbs onto the bed you’ve been reading in and swiftly lays down on it. The bed groans under his weight despite having been made for someone of his size.

He much larger hands reach to grip you by the waist and pull your closer, laying his face on your stomach overtop of the fabric of your nightgown. Your legs go over his left shoulder, as his left arm curls around your bottom, hip, and up your side to hold you close.

“Guilliman?”

He sighs into your belly.

“Give me a moment, if you will. I’m at my limit with these men today.” You assume he means his fellow primarchs. “Let me enjoy you for a bit now that I’m free of them for the time being.”

You want him to be happy, but you can’t help but shift a bit under him, nervous as he speaks so overtly, and touches you with so little hesitation.

“Are you sure you’re comfortable?” You whisper, nervously twirling a piece of his blonde and ever so slightly grey hair around your fingertip.

“Yes. You are perfect,” He says, your eyes widening at the declaration. You're so offset by it your mind wanders and can’t help but mumble:

“I find that hard to believe…”

You feel him suddenly tense, and he lifts his head to look at you.

“You do not believe me?”

He almost seems insulted by it; Like you think he’s a liar. You shake your head as you look away from his furrowed brow. You hadn’t expected him to spear you to the wall so harshly for your self-deprecating comment.

“No I just…” You grunt in frustration at not finding the right words. The Macragge tome he'd given you lays at your side, and you push it away a bit more. “I sometimes just think there are people out there far more, physically suited to stand beside you than me.” He loses some of his insulted demeanor, but his brow stays furrowed as you pick up pace and begin rambling.

“I mean, look at some of Fulgrim’s wives they-“ He cuts you off with his stoic, firm voice.

“You know how Fulgrim is. You know why and how they look the way they do.” He sighs, the wrinkles around his nose and eyes exaggerating for a moment. “Forget all of that.” He points a finger at you.

“And don’t bring him up again, I’ve had quite enough of him and his comments for quite some time.”

You smile a bit, and he softens. He’s glad you find his aggravation amusing somehow. You do wonder what Fulgrim commented about however; Though you know he has a habit of sometimes treading a bit too far into Roboute’s personal life. Into everyone's personal life honestly, though Roboute having you has made him the prime target of Fulgrim's gossip and colloquies.

His hand squeezes you reassuringly, arm continuing to awkwardly cradle you. He raises his other hand to brush his thumb across your cheek for a moment.

“You are perfect to me. You don’t need all of those lavish things.” He adds on. “Unless you want them, of course. I won’t deny you anything I can give.” Your smile gets wider, and he feels your body relax against him.

“I don’t need any of it,” You pause. “But if a dress showed up one day I wouldn’t complain, per se.”

Thankfully Guilliman can tell you’re clearly joking, and rolls his eyes. You speak up again a bit more subtly.

“Or maybe something a bit more, delicate? You could pick it.”

Guilliman takes a moment to catch your meaning before he awkwardly coughs, looks at you gentle but expectant smile.

“I’ll, see what I can do.”

Guilliman swiftly ends the topic by returning his head to lay on your stomach, and rest his eyes for a moment to the feeling of you raking your fingers through his hair.

[marshedmallowes]

earbuds — megumi x reader

song choice: cologne by beabadoobee

a/n: i wrote this in an airplane and i have NOT proofread it at ALL; i just have been needing to put something out lol this is highkey half-assed so please bare with me.

you lean into megumi, eyelids only getting heavier and heavier from the sleep taking you over. as you perch your head on his shoulder, gritty, grungy music emanated from his earphones, peaking your interest. 

“you know, i don’t really know what kind of music you’re into, but now that i’m hearing it, it makes complete sense…” 

at your remark, he seems to take a little offense, judging by the way the shoulder you were currently leaning on stiffened and his eyebrows furrowed. “is that an insult?” 

“no, not really,” you grin endearingly.

...you don’t know if it was the drowsiness that caused your random surge of courage, but you reach into his (increasingly reddening) ear, taking an earbud away to place into yours. megumi’s cheeks flare up, but you can tell he’s trying to keep it cool from the way he awkwardly poker faces and avoids eye contact. funny guy, huh. you think as you can’t help but feel your muscles tugging into a smile. 

you insert the earbud in your ear, sleep taking over once again as you— wait, isn’t this…

“isn’t this beabadoobee?”

“…no.”

“but it’s literally her vo–“

“shut up. don’t you dare say a word.”

and so you do, snuggling up to his shoulder once again as you pretend not to notice his very pink face. 

a/n 2: ik megumi listens to weezer and stuff but i feel like he secretly enjoys beabadoobee and never says anything abt it bc HIM? THEE MEGUMI? A BEABADOOBEE LISTENER? esp since some of bea’s music is quite gritty, such as the song choice right here🤗

[physalian]

The Dos and Don’ts of Giving and Receiving Constructive Criticism

Some of these should be painfully obvious and yet. They come from experience.

Receiving feedback:

Do

Understand that a criticism of a character’s thoughts, actions, morality, and choices are likely not a criticism of you as an author, unless the character is an author insert

Understand that they are being paid to critique how successfully you told an entertaining story, not pander to your trauma dumping

Understand that critiquing a book’s success as an entertaining story means that how much you yourself connect with or love a character or scene or plotline is irrelevant if it doesn’t make a compelling narrative

You might have written your book for yourself. Your editor is a different person with their own human biases and perspectives. If you just want to pay someone to stoke your ego, make that 100% clear up front.

Stand up for yourself and clarify where necessary if some details were overlooked or if explaining outside the narrative can better contextualize anything confusing or lacking detail.

Stand up for yourself in what feedback you are expecting, and what degree of criticism you’re willing to endure. An editor can let more or less of their own views show depending on what you ask for.

Stand up for yourself if your editor delivers inadequate or useless feedback. You’re paying them for a job, and you deserve to have it done properly.

Try to separate dislike of a book from dislike of yourself. It’s not easy, but the goal is to fix your book that you’ve already spent a lot of time writing, and they’re only trying to help.

Remember that your author insert is subjected to the same level of criticism as any other character, and that you asked for this.

Keep an open mind and be prepared for feedback that you don’t like, because you can’t please everyone. Your editor should be able to tell you whether or not a scene or character, or plotline works separate from their own personal tastes.

Don’t

Argue with your editor over their religiosity or lack thereof and insist that adhering to genre expectations means they “worship the god of [genre]”. (really, argue with your editor over anything like this, e.g. their own sexuality, religiosity, gender, socioeconomic status).

Argue with your editor while still expecting more work from them as if your aggression will in any way positively impact their perception of your book.

Insult your editor’s intelligence for not understanding your jargon and attempts to sound smarter than you are.

Get mad when your editor sees right through your BS and calls it like they see it, specifically your self-insert Mary Sue protagonist.

Insist that the solution to better understanding your book is for that editor to do extensive homework on your niche topic. If it’s a niche book for niche audiences, hire an editor who’s already knowledgeable about that niche topic.

Equate a bad review and opinion of the book with unprofessionalism. These can overlap, but they are not interchangeable.

Forget that your book is probably meant for leisure and entertainment, and your audience is under no obligation to read “until it gets good,” when they can go do literally anything else. Your first job is to entertain, if you write fiction.

Giving Feedback:

Do

Pay attention to your client’s wants and needs and expectations. If they’re more sensitive to bad feedback, do your best and stay as objective as possible. You can’t please everyone, either.

Helpful feedback includes an explanation of why an element needs work and how it can be improved. Saying “I hate this” with nothing else helps no one and just makes the author feel bad with no direction of how to make it better.

Communicate beforehand how much of your own personality your author wants from you. Do they like personal opinions and your personal reactions to the text, or do they want it as impersonal as possible and solely focused on the structure of the narrative? This might avoid a mess.

Remember to leave notes of where things worked well to balance the criticism. Even a simple “this is good” highlighting a line or a paragraph or two helps keep authors motivated to keep writing. I firmly believe that no book is completely unsalvageable.

Make it painfully clear with no room for debate that criticism of a character is not criticism of the author, unless it's an author insert, in which case the author absolutely asked for it.

Make it clear that you are just one person and these are all suggestions, not laws.

Don’t

Let your own personal opinions cloud your judgment of whether or not someone with different tastes could enjoy the book.

Unless given permission, get too personal with the narrative and reach beyond what’s written on the page.

Do more than what you’re paid for. You’re an editor, not a therapist for the writer’s trauma dumping.

Forget to wrap up all your thoughts in a condensed format that the author can reference, as opposed to endlessly scrolling through the manuscript trying to summarize your points for you.

Walk away with absolutely nothing positive to say about the manuscript. Even if it’s awful on every front, the writer still tried and that deserves merit.

This is from my personal experience beta and sensitivity reading, and dealing with other beta and sensitivity readers. We are all human and these jobs are not one-size-fits-all and there aren’t really hardline rules as every author, editor, and manuscript is different with different needs.

Just some things to keep in mind.

But also, for the authors who do write self-insert Mary Sues: You are in for a very rude awakening if you expect anyone other than yourself to adore your book with zero criticism. If you really just want someone to proofread and look for typos, tell them.

[preciouslittle-bhaalbabe]

There is nothing wrong with how someone plays an RPG. But the fandom of BG3 is one of the best examples of those who play as a self insert vs those who roleplay with OC's they've made. It shows whenever people judge each other for their choices. They hurl insults at each other as if THEY are a horrible person for making those choices in game without even considering that people have fun doing roleplay as an evil character or a character with a different personality. It does not make the PLAYER an evil person.

[nnmmxnxmxmx]

my long thoughts on this shit take of a reddit post, going basically line by line, as a previous inniter and a dream hater:

1. If dream was just expressing confusion on double standard rules i would understand, no it’s not fair (as much as i hate him) that he’s getting called slurs online- the issue is he seems to never address this, if this is something he dislikes why hasn’t he decided to quote tweet these posts he’s talking about? instead he attacks Tommyinnit fans because they… don’t like a trumpie okay weird choice.

2. further more- if Dream understands the hurt from using slurs without caution/ as an insult, surely that would have crossed his mind before posting? surely it would have an impact on his actions? i’m not doubting he’s felt hurt by being called rude names online, but if it’s actually something he takes a moral stance against i can’t fathom why he would decide to use them in retaliation.

3. “Obviously it's the internet being disingenuous, but that doesn't completely invalidate anyone that might be upset by it.” honestly asking here if anyone can explain what he means by this? cant work it out

4. Again, this post would be fine if dream was just expressing discomfort at being called slurs online- if he was actually involved in the drama before inserting himself and Tommys fans had been attacking him with derogatory language this would make sense. But Dream is the one who decided to call a group of millions the R slur, and as much as he’s trying to argue he’s autistic and therefor thought it was okay i just don’t buy that. He’s trying to paint himself as a victim of circumstance- “people called me a rude name, and because i’m apart of the group that name targets i thought i could use it back” but that’s not how “reclaiming” works. You’re just firing back with the same hateful language that you claim to know what it feels like to be hurt by.

5. “internet police” is interesting when Dream is the one getting involved in other people’s drama

6. Additionally, calling tommy “poor tommy” just feels mean- he’s trying to prop himself up as a victim and Tommy as someone who manipulates himself into being perceived as one. But this doesn’t make sense because even during peak dsmp no one got more shit that Tommyinnit- he was getting cancelled every week! There’s never been a time on the internet where people have perceived him as someone to treat with Kid gloves

7. Also adding the “lmao” on the end of seeing he never meant to be ableist feels very inauthentic, hard to believe someone feels remorse for fucking up when they are actively laughing at the idea that they fucked up

8. As a previous Tommyinnit stan- and someone who currently enjoys his tweets on my tl from time to time i KNOW we were, and i’m sure some still are, annoying. Tommy stans had poor standards when it came to boundaries and would harass streamers about Tommy constantly. That said, having your defence of calling a whole group of people the R slur being that.. they were annoying? that’s strange.

9. i just don’t care that Tommyinnit is promoting stand up while bullying bad people. sorry.

10. Last line is probably the scariest in it’s implications, i made a post before but it really feels like this is a gateway into some semi alt-right shit making its way into Dreams community. The seeds are there with him talking about how unreasonable twitter is, and lamenting how they are taking his joke too seriously. Just saying if we see a Kick deal in the future i wouldn’t be suprised

[thestarfishinjootsoffice]

May I ask you to do slashers ( Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees, Thomas Hewitt, Sinclair brothers.) With s/o that has a little black kitten that is really sweet and cuddly ❤️. I'm sorry for bad English it's not my first language 😅

It's been 7 weeks 15+ months and three days

I'm sorry anon but this just turned out with the slashers with a black kitten, i didn't include much reader I'm so sorry 😭

S/O has black cuddly kitten!

Featuring: Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees, Thomas Hewitt and sinclair brothers!

Michael Myers 🔪

Michael Obviously wasn't a big fan of it at first. He doesn't mind the cat itself. No he thought it was cute, the black fur made it look mysterious and cool but it was really affectionate, and he was lowkey worried he will accidentally step on it and kill it by accident and you'll get sad Or angry or whatever those human emotions you'll go through.

He couldn't do anything to it either, he tried to avoid it as much as he could but he could only do so much against a furry creature with a keen sense of smell. And then he had no choice but to accept that a small kitten was playing around his lap and pockets. He immediately grabbed it by its entire body and placed it firmly on the spot next to him when he heard you coming.

Did that stop the kitten? No, it immediately went back to trying to play on his lap.

He sometimes stares at both you and the tiny cat play together. Lifting it up by its armpits and holding the animal close to your face as it licks your nose and you laugh sweetly. Michael decided to have a staring contest with the cat and glare at it later that night,And he lost when your baby started licking his face too.

Now he doesn't have the energy to gaf when your furry child latches itself to michel and sniff and mess with his clothes affectionately. Ig it was a nice backup company when you were gone.

Jason Voorhees 🪓

He doesn't even know how such a small cute animal like that can survive in a place where he lives.

Honestly he was scared of it at first. Similar to Michael he was scared he was gonna accidentally hurt it. And he may or may not have heard of those superstitions of black cats bringing bad luck, he tried his best to avoid it but the sheer power of a kitten's love and beauty is far too much for even a 6'5 huge bulky killing machine to resist.

It started when you went out one day for necessities Jason gets kinda sad and depressed but then your little cutie came and rubbed it's face into Jason's pants, looking for his attention and then bam. You come home to find the both of them running around the campus. (Ur kitten was jumping around and you almost died.)

The cat will soon take after the characteristics of his 'father'. Both are intently looking at you while following you wherever you go and you don't really know what to do. (Insert Jason and a black kitty with it's tail moving slowly from side to side while both are staring at you.)

He definitely likes playing with the musty overcooked puss but gets embarrassed when you find them and if you start teasing him. It's not like you're insulting him but he doesn't want you to view him as someone who is overly soft and maybe "unmanly".

He gets jealous (jealous?) When he sees the both of you together... Without him!? He's stomping towards you guys and then stares at both of you.

Will literally get so angry or panic or maybe both if a victim had discovered either of you. Makes it his goal to turn that person into nothing but chunky messy pieces of bloody meat if it even dares tries contact with you two.

There will be no harm guaranteed with Jason by you and your kitty's side.

Thomas hewitt ⛓️

Fell in love with your baby kitten at first sight, Literally!

He's a busy man but loves spending free time with you and your four legged sweetie even if he's tired. He melts into a blob of hot glue when he's chopping up victims and it climbs from his back to his shoulders and just rests and Or spends the entire time with him.

We all know Thomas is warm, so that hairy coal dusted meow meow will soon eventually fall asleep on Thomas, and it's the most heartwarming and cutest thing when you see the love of your life with your smol ass child on the palm of his hands like a little sushi roll and sleeping peacefully.

You will also commonly find Thomas and the cat together in bed during nighttime, they are best friends now.

He just looks at the cat while it's nuzzling up to him and wonders 'how can such a small thing live?'

We all know hoyt is a bastard and WILL try to mess with your dark choco pussycat but Thomas and Luda mae are in the dark corner with white glowing pupils. (Plus you running towards him straight with a pan.) Your kitty doesn't see anything wrong though, such a sweet one.

He loves how cuddly your cat is, it's the perfect solution when the family starts getting stressed. One little paw on any limb and it'll instantly lighten the mood.

He wishes he can spend more time with you and your newly adopted child but business is business but the time will come where you can all act like one small but big family<3.

Sinclair brothers 🕯

Bo despised it at first. Like really. He already has one mutt to take care of (not rlly) and now there's a fucking cat in the house? He wanted to avoid it as much as possible but the fact it just followed him no matter where he went both annoyed him and flattered him. He decides to sit down and the coca cola flavoured kitten child decides to sit with him too? And have the audacity to lick his clothes??? Well it's not that bad... Still, he picked it up and dropped it where you were and the vantablack, wormhole, monstrous shadow king of the land of darkness turns around and meows at him. Bo quickly left after that. He's a prick sometimes and messes with the kitty like holding it by it's collar but all it does is meow, lick, purr and hug his arm or bury its face into Bo's clothes and what can he even do anyways. After a while he started to not mind, actually loves it. But he will deny to no end if you ask him if he does though. But you saw how he and the cat fell asleep on top of each other one night. And that's more than enough for an answer.

Vincent thinks it's adorable, he's wondered how having a cat would be like for quite a while and safe to say he's not disappointed. It's nice to have a warm fuzzy little thing playing around him when he's painting, it would've been perfect if you were there and leaned against him. He's honestly pretty surprised the poosay actually wants to hang out around him, the place he's in is really warm 24/7 and he doesn't expect an animal to like it. The power of love is indeed strong. Coming to your boyfriend's room and finding him in his bed with your kitten just chilling around is probably hot and cute. Absolutely handles your fluffy ball of black fur child with a loving and gentle care and you often see vincent trying to make Jonesy and the cat get familiar with each other. I can see him getting along pretty well with animals? It's a lottery since your cat likes to get touchy. Likes painting the black fusty and damp blop of flesh, just waving the paintbrush around while your baby tries ro catch it is just *sobs*. black kitties are aesthetic and he knows it. Bro 100% falls in love again when he sees you with the burnt living food, it's in his mind rent free forever now.

Lester loves it, he already has a dog he takes care of and now there's a cat!? Sign him up! It takes a little while getting used to for Lester, having a cat is nothing like having a dog. He's used to the sheer power of a toddler sized pitbull lunging towards him (playfully) but now he has a tea cup sized baby cat that you can crush with 5% of power climbing up his pants? Damn this was better than he expected. He always heard some people say cats are the equivalent of evil and he was prepared for its attacks but now those people are mute to him. He didn't bring the fetus that close to Jonesy because what if she eats it (jonesy wouldn't do that). Honestly lester is just having the time of his life with two dawgs and you find them on all ground after maybe 1 hour sleeping peacefully and you joined them too cause you ain't missing out on something like that. Sometimes he forgets that it's weaker and more fragile than jonesy and uses more strength than needed when playing with the kit, your little baby just thinks it's extra strong love though<3.

[butterfly-lies-chase-them-away]

Office Hours/Bells - Jonathan Crane x Fem!Reader (Part 2)

Pairing: Professor!Jonathan Crane x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 16409

Warnings: Obsessive behaviour, Professor x Student, mild body horror, kidnapping

Summary: Jonathan had taken Y/n back to his hideout. He wanted to keep her close so she couldn't expose his identity, but he also wanted her company. this is a part two.

A/N: thank you everyone for reading the first part, I never planned to make a part two, but I had someone in the comments asking for it so I thought 'it couldn't hurt' so here we are! Just a heads up, I made Y/n's mums name (Karen) because it's such a common mum name, so if that's not your mums name, just insert yours. It's only said once anyways so it's not that important. He also might be a bit OOC so sorry about that. (Office Hours/Bells Masterlist) (Part 1) - (Part 3)

-

Jonathan knew he could come off harsh as a teacher. In almost every lecture, he couldn't help but poke fun at his students' expenses. He felt insulted by their audacity to believe they could truly grasp his intellect. And he wouldn’t lie, he enjoyed seeing them squirm as well. 

Most students barely lasted a month in Jonathan's classes, and even those who did manage to stick around were nothing more than mediocre. However, there was one student that captured his attention – not because she was loud or flashy, but because of her care and thought she put into her work. Her dedication spoke volumes to Jonathan, leaving him intrigued and enamored.

Jonathan had never expected to interact with her beyond the classroom setting. Yet, the moment she entered his office and sought his help, something within him shifted. He couldn't resist the urge to know more about her. Suddenly, she was no longer just another student; she was an enigma, a puzzle he desperately craved to solve. With each passing encounter, his obsession grew stronger, consuming him like a drug until he could hardly imagine living without her. Like an addict, he yearned for more – more knowledge, more insight, and ultimately, more of her.

Desperate to prove himself worthy of her affections, he went to great lengths to impress her, going above and beyond to demonstrate his devotion, subtly. Guiding her through the eerie halls of Arkham, watching her eyes widen in wonder at every twisted detail, filled him with immense pride. Each small gesture – whether it be a compliment or an offering of assistance – served not only to affirm her value in his eyes but to cement his hold over her, hoping she fall within his web of seduction.

However, the encounter with Edward Nigma had cast a shadow over the uneasy alliance between the two villains. The Riddler had been a reliable business partner for Jonathan in the past. However, their last deal had taken an unexpected turn, resulting in Edward's incarceration within the confines of Arkham Asylum. The strained relationship between the two rogues was palpable, and it left a mark on their partnership.

As the conversation unfolded, the Riddler couldn't resist stirring the pot. His sharp gaze fixed on Crane, Nigma slyly questioned if Y/n was brought to Arkham with ulterior motives. With a calculated smirk, he hinted at Crane's association with Scarecrow, casting a shadow of doubt over the true intentions behind Y/n's presence.

The strain on their friendship became palpable when Y/n confronted Jonathan about the tension with Edward Nigma. However, discussing the truth was not a choice to him. 

The notion of kidnapping Y/n lingered in the recesses of Jonathan's mind like a forbidden temptation. To take such drastic measures would be a damning acknowledgment of his own internal turmoil, an admission that his fixation had crossed into dangerous territory. Yet, he found himself caught in a web of desire that he couldn't escape.

Jonathan grappled with conflicting emotions, torn between the part of him that yearned for what was best for Y/n and the other, more insidious side, driven by an irresistible urge to possess her. 

The decision to sew bells to Y/n's ankles, while she lay unconscious, spoke volumes about the depth of his internal conflict. It was a sinister reminder that while he harbored a desire to protect her, the darker, more primal instincts within him demanded her submission. The delicate chime of those bells echoed the symphony of Jonathan Crane's fractured desires, a haunting melody that only he could hear.

Jonathan never envisioned it coming to this point, where the lines between caring and obsession blurred into a disconcerting shade of gray. His internal battle waged on, a silent war that threatened to consume both him and the unsuspecting Y/n in the intricate dance of obsession and possession.

-

Once Jonathan Crane moved Y/n's unconscious form to his hideout, a dimly lit warehouse for his macabre experiments and toxic concoctions, he carefully laid her on a worn-out mattress in the shadowy corner of the second floor. The second floor was only a temporary home for him when he had to work late nights and long hours.

As he gently laid her tired body down, Jonathan couldn't help but notice the evidence of her distress—swollen eyes and lips, and scuffed feet from running barefoot in the Narrows. The chase must have ruined not only her spirit but her body. The room, bathed in the sickly glow of dim overhead lights, seemed to close in around them, emphasizing the gravity of the situation.

Mindful of the bells adorning her ankles, Jonathan handled her delicate form with a mix of tenderness and care. As he observed her vulnerability, the weight of guilt settled in the pit of his stomach, a sensation he couldn't shake. The cold reality of what he had done sank in, and for a fleeting moment, he questioned the boundaries he had crossed. Yet, the insatiable pull of his obsessions persisted, casting a sinister shadow over the sincerity of his remorse.

-

The struggle to regain consciousness proved to be an difficult task for Y/n. Her senses were shrouded in a fog of disorientation, her head throbbing in protest. The persistent ringing in her ears added to the dissonance, making every attempt to open her eyes an exercise in agony. When she finally managed to part her heavy lids, the hazy world around her came into view.

Blinking away the fog, Y/n took in her unsettling surroundings. A crusty mattress beneath her was the only thing found in the room she woke up in. Well, if she could really call it a room, it resembled warehouse's second floor loft of some sort by the visible tin roof and metal flooring with poorly laid carpet and open railing. A thick coat draped over her body offered minimal comfort, a stark contrast to the unease that settled deep within her.

As her ears gradually ceased their ringing, a disconcerting silence enveloped the space. Suddenly, the unmistakable sound of footsteps echoed against the metal stairs, sending a jolt through her. Her heart quickened its pace, a drumbeat of anxiety heralding the arrival of an unwelcome presence.

From the ascending stairs, a figure with dark hair and piercing blue eyes materialized, and dread tightened its grip around Y/n's chest. Jonathan Crane, the source of her torment, stood before her.

“How are you feeling?” he inquired, his voice carrying an unsettling mix of concern and detachment as he approached her bedside.

Y/n's response was a steely silence, a manifestation of her fury and fear. Her body trembled with a potent blend of emotions, and her glare bore into Jonathan, a silent accusation of betrayal.

Recognizing the futility of expecting a verbal response, Jonathan sighed, setting a glass of water and a dissolving pill beside her. "That's for the pain," he offered before retreating back down the stairs.

Once he left alone, Y/n's eyes welled with tears as the harsh reality of her captivity sank in. She cast her gaze downward, only to be confronted by the cruel reminder of her predicament—the horrid bells attached to her ankles. The weight of the situation pressed down on her, a visceral confirmation that this nightmare was, indeed, all too real.

As tears cascaded down Y/n's face, she lay on the crusted mattress, desperately attempting to stifle her sobs with her hand. The weight of her emotions bore down on her, each tear a silent testament to the fear and anguish that gripped her tightly.

Seeking solace, she reached for the thick coat that had initially offered a semblance of comfort. However, as she pulled it over herself, a wave of recognition washed over her. The scent clinging to the fabric was hauntingly familiar, a cruel reminder of the man responsible for her current torment.

In a surge of anger and defiance, Y/n hurled the coat away from her trembling form. The fabric, once a deceptive shroud of warmth, now lay discarded on the cold, unforgiving floor. "Fuck that bastard and his fucking coat," she seethed through gritted teeth and a quivering lip.

The discarded garment, like a discarded memory, lay there as a silent witness to the emotional tempest within the confines of the dimly lit warehouse. Y/n, left alone with the echoes of her pain.

-

Y/n awoke with a start, disoriented and frightened, only to find herself confronted by a man she couldn't immediately recognize. Reacting on pure instinct, she shoved him away, her instincts urging her to distance herself from any potential threat. However, the bell on her foot snagged on a loose thread of the mattress, causing a sharp cry of pain to escape her lips.

Jonathan, seemingly appearing out of nowhere, reached out to calm her, his intentions misunderstood in the haze of fear. Yet, Y/n, still gripped by a cocktail of anger and terror, vehemently rejected his touch. "Stop, Y/n, you're only going to hurt yourself," he implored, a rare note of concern colouring his voice.

"Fuck you!" Y/n spat back, her defiance ringing through the air.

Undeterred, Jonathan presented the glass of water he had placed nearby earlier, urging her to drink. However, her eyes, filled with tears and resentment, remained fixed on him with unyielding defiance. In a moment of rebellious fury, she knocked the glass from his hand, the water spilling across the mattress.

Exasperated, Jonathan kneeled on the mattress, attempting to approach her with care. Y/n, fueled by a potent mixture of fear and anger, resisted vehemently. Despite her struggles, Jonathan, with a resolve bordering on grim determination, restrained her arms, attempting to administer the pill he had procured.

Her resistance escalated into screams and kicks as he forced the pill into her mouth, the bitter taste causing her to recoil. Jonathan, undeterred, gently stroked her esophagus, triggering a reflex that forced her to swallow. Released but not defeated, she retaliated with a punch to his face, a futile expression of her rage.

Groaning but unfazed, Jonathan descended the stairs briefly, returning with a bottle of water. He left it beside her before retreating once more, leaving Y/n alone with the haunting realization that her captor's actions were driven by a twisted sense of care, a disconcerting paradox that only deepened the shadows of her captivity.

Y/n knew that they had once been friends served only to intensify the torment. The disconcerting reality of Jonathan's actions, driven by a distorted form of care, hung heavily in the air. Looking down, she finally noticed the tiny blanket placed over her, rather than the coat.

The pill, a bitter reminder of her lack of agency in this twisted narrative, lingered in her throat like a bitter truth. She couldn't shake the unsettling notion that each calculated move, from the bell-adorned ankles to the force-fed pill, was an expression of a grotesque form of affection. It was a confession steeped in darkness, a revelation that Jonathan's deranged obsession with her went beyond the bounds of conventional understanding.

Yet, as the water bottle stood there, a silent offering in the aftermath of their tumultuous encounter, Y/n couldn't bring herself to accept that he cared. She refused to believe that beneath the layers of madness, there existed a thread of genuine concern.

In the cold solitude of the warehouse, Y/n grappled not only with the physical restraints but also with the intangible bonds of a twisted connection. The unsettling blend of fear, anger, and reluctant acknowledgment of his twisted affection created a complex tapestry of emotions, weaving a narrative she never thought she'd be a part of.

-

The bitter taste of the pill lingered in Y/n's mouth, a cruel reminder of her involuntary submission to the whims of her captor. She was kind of pissed off at the fact that the pill did whatever it set out to do, at least what she assumed it was used for. Her body felt fine and she no longer ached as much.

The confinement to the bed, a symbol of her captivity, had begun to take its toll, and Y/n reluctantly acknowledged the pressing call of her biological needs. Despite her fierce determination to avoid any interaction with Jonathan, the reality of her situation forced her to confront an inevitable dilemma.

The thought of asking him for the the bathroom churned her stomach with indignation, but the urgency of the matter left her with no other choice. Contemplating a rebellious act, she briefly toyed with the idea of pissing herself on the mattress as an act of defiance. However, the potential repercussions, coupled with the degradation she would inevitably endure, prompted her to abandon the thought.

Summoning every ounce of strength, Y/n mustered the courage to rise from the worn mattress. Vertigo assailed her senses, and the room spun momentarily as she steadied herself against the railing. Glancing down, she observed Jonathan engrossed in a familiar scene of papers strewn across a table, a sight that had become all too familiar during her months of friendship with him.

Surveying the room below, she noted the limited doors—two doors serving as clear exits, one barricaded and the other locked. The last door remained an question, a potential sanctuary she dared to hope was a bathroom. 

The descent down the metal stairs felt like a journey into the unknown for Y/n. Her reluctance to be spotted by Jonathan battled with the urgent demands of her body. Creeping down the stairs with a mix of determination and caution so her bells wouldn’t jingle, she aimed to reach the bathroom undetected, weaving through the dimly lit warehouse.

However, the universe seemed to conspire against her as, upon reaching the ground floor, Jonathan's gaze fixed upon her. A curse escaped her lips internally, but undeterred, she pressed on towards the bathroom. The weight of his stare bore into her back, a constant reminder of the fragile balance between autonomy and captivity.

Reaching the door, Y/n shot a hesitant glance back at Jonathan. To her relief, he made no move to stop her, confirming her assumption that the room indeed housed the sought-after sanctuary. With a fleeting glance of defiance, she pushed the door open, revealing a simple yet welcome sight—a toilet, sink, and shower.

The rush of relief that accompanied the bathroom's discovery matched the urgency of her previous mission. Y/n took a moment to savor the normalcy of the room before relieving herself. Washing her hands afterward, she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror, and the reflection painted a stark contrast to the composed person she once was.

Her hair, tangled and unkempt, framed a face marked by fatigue. Despite the turmoil she endured, the absence of visible bruises provided a small solace. The bathroom, a brief respite from the harsh reality of her captivity, became a sanctuary where she confronted not only her immediate needs but also the disheveled reflection of a person transformed by the torment of her circumstances.

The abrupt encounter with Jonathan at the bathroom door elicited a startled shriek from Y/n. Her initial fear, however, quickly morphed into frustration, and she met his gaze with a furious intensity. "What the fuck, man!" she yelled, the anger evident in her voice.

Jonathan, seemingly taken aback by her outburst, tried to explain, "I was just going to ask if you were okay..."

Y/n huffed, her patience worn thin, and decisively pushed past him, ascending the stairs. "Never been better," she retorted sarcastically, leaving Jonathan behind.

Back on the mattress, Y/n's gaze shifted to the bottle of water placed on the ground. Her body, indifferent to the passage of time in captivity, left her uncertain of whether she was genuinely thirsty or if the sensation had been forgotten. Opting for caution, she grabbed the bottle and took a sip, immediately realizing she had been deprived of water for far too long. Chugging the entire bottle, she felt a measure of relief wash over her.

The realization that she had, just moments ago, shoved Jonathan out of the way emboldened Y/n. The absence of discipline after she had defiantly pushed past him fueled her growing conviction that there might be room for manipulation within the confines of her captivity. Her mind raced with possibilities, and she seized the opportunity to further test the limits of his proclaimed reluctance to inflict harm.

Opting for a subtle test, she tossed the empty bottle down the stairs, breaking the rhythmic pattern of Jonathan's work below. The scrapping of his chair made her breath stop. Anxiety gripped her as she heard the distinct sound of him ascending the stairs, her heart sinking with each step. However, the sight of a new bottle of water in his hands replaced her dread with a fleeting sense of relief.

Jonathan approached her, placing the bottle beside her without uttering a word. A sense of triumph welled within Y/n as he retreated, leaving her alone once again. The power dynamic, though skewed in his favor, showed signs of malleability.

Her smirk deepened as she contemplated how else she could navigate this precarious situation. The newfound knowledge that certain actions yielded unexpected outcomes spurred her imagination. Y/n, despite the dire circumstances, felt a glimmer of control in the face of her captor's unpredictable responses. As the wheels of her mind turned, she began to strategize, determined to exploit every opportunity to regain some semblance of agency in this nightmarish game.

-

The routine of tossing empty bottles down the stairs had evolved into a strange yet strangely effective communication method between Y/n and Jonathan. It became a silent pact, an unspoken agreement where she would throw a bottle, and he, in turn, would return with a fresh bottle of water without a single uttered word. The dynamic, though unconventional, provided Y/n with a sense of control, a small victory in the vast landscape of her captivity.

However, the game extended only to the water bottles. When it came to the food Jonathan brought, mostly simple take-out fare, she refrained from throwing it down the stairs. Despite her desire to maintain some semblance of control, she retained a sense of civility, not willing to degrade herself to the level of an animal in her attempts to navigate the situation. Instead, he’d just take the plate away when he gave her a new bottle.

On one particular day, feeling sluggish and unclean after what she assumed was a week without bathing, Y/n decided it was time to push the boundaries further. Throwing down another bottle, she waited for Jonathan's customary ascent up the stairs.

As he arrived with the expected bottle of water, he mused aloud, "I ought to get you a bin," revealing a hint of acknowledgment regarding their peculiar communication method.

Before he could retreat back downstairs, breaking the silent rhythm of their exchanges, Y/n summoned the courage to address him directly. "Jonathan..." Her voice, a rare sound in the confines of their strange relationship, brought him to a halt. He turned back to face her, silent anticipation written on his features.

"I need to shower," Y/n admitted, her vulnerability seeping through her words.

Jonathan, surprisingly accommodating, thought for a moment before responding, "Yeah, of course."

Her next revelation hung in the air, "I don't have any clothes."

"Sorry about that," he replied. "You go have your shower, and I'll bring you some clothes." With that, he headed down the stairs.

As she approached the bathroom, the subtle jingle of the bells on her feet caught her attention. The idea of showering with them on seemed uncomfortable, a painful reminder of past wounds. However, most of the injuries had healed by now, and she reasoned that it couldn't hurt too bad—just as long as she avoided tugging on anything sensitive. The promise of a shower, a rare luxury in her current state, became a momentary respite in the otherwise harrowing routine of her captivity.

The rhythmic sound of water hitting the shower floor enveloped Y/n as she stood beneath the refreshing spray. Stripping away the layers of captivity, she entered the shower, relishing the sensation of the water cascading down her tired body like a soothing rain. Glancing around, she spotted only a solitary bar of soap, resigning herself to the fact that her hair would have to wait for another day.

As the water ran down her, she couldn't help but contemplate her predicament. A sigh escaped her lips as she gazed up at the showerhead. The solitude of the shower became an unexpected confessional, and in a whispered admission to herself, she muttered, "...I might just fucking drown myself."

Yet, as the thought lingered, she quickly dismissed it. The logistics of such an act in a shower, coupled with the awareness that she wasn't suicidal, led her to shrug off the dark notion. Redirecting her focus, she began washing her body diligently, navigating around the bells with a careful touch. The leisurely pace became a momentary escape, a respite from the harsh reality that awaited her beyond the comforting spray.

When she eventually emerged from the shower, enveloped in the warmth of the towels, she wondered why Jonathan hadn’t knocked on the door yet, and as if summoned, the knock came. She found Jonathan holding a pile of clothes for her. "Sorry for taking a while," he offered.

She responded with silence. She accepted the clothes, bringing them into the bathroom. Drying herself off, she examined the clothes, confirming that they were indeed Jonathan's. The absence of underwear was a minor inconvenience, and she chose not to dwell on it. 

Dressed in Jonathan's clothes, Y/n emerged from the bathroom, prompting him to turn his attention away from his desk. Standing up, he inquired, "The clothes are fine?"

She nodded awkwardly, a silent acknowledgment of the peculiar exchange. Jonathan then said, "I'll go get you some clothes tomorrow from your dorm back at the university when I head to work. You don't need underwear right now, do you?"

Y/n shook her head in response. Jonathan, seemingly satisfied with her reply, returned to his work without further conversation.

Making her way back upstairs, Y/n was met with a shock. The decrepit mattress she had grown accustomed to was now replaced with a fresh one, adorned with clean sheets and a duvet, the tiny blanket she slept with the past few days placed overtop. To her surprise, it was elevated on wooden pallets, forming a makeshift bed base. The unexpected upgrade left her momentarily speechless, and she peered underneath, confirming the presence of the improvised support.

In a strange turn of events, she now had a proper bed. The realization struck her, and she couldn't help but cast a glance over the railing at Jonathan. A sense of gratitude tugged at her, and for a fleeting moment, she felt the urge to express her thanks. However, the weight of her captivity, the confinement, and the uncertainty of her situation promptly extinguished that impulse.

Walking back to her new bed, the conflicting emotions within her surfaced once again. The gesture felt like a twisted attempt to add a touch of comfort to her captivity. Anger, frustration, and a deep-seated sense of helplessness resurfaced, and Y/n, unable to contain her emotions, allowed herself a moment of vulnerability. She sank onto the bed, repressed tears welling in her eyes, as the cruel reality of her situation pressed heavily upon her.

-

The next day brought an unusual moment of opportunity as Y/n heard the distinct sound of Jonathan leaving the warehouse. It was the first time she had heard him leave, and the realization struck her that he had taken an entire week off work just to remain within the confines of the warehouse, likely to keep an eye on her. The emptiness left in his absence stirred a flicker of hope within her—a chance, perhaps, to explore the possibility of escape.

Descending the stairs, she cast a hopeful glance at the main entrance, only to find it stubbornly locked. Frustration crept in, but she decided to leave the main entrance for a later attempt. Undeterred, she moved to the boarded-up door, her eyes narrowing at the bolted bars. Despite her doubts about her strength, she grasped at the bars, giving them an experimental tug. The cold metal resisted her efforts, but the determination within her fueled a futile attempt to dislodge the impediment. She knew it would be futile, but it was worth a shot.

Turning her attention back to the main door, she surveyed the room for any tools that might aid her escape. Unfortunately, the sparse surroundings offered little beyond medical equipment and scattered papers. A sigh escaped her lips as she considered her limited options. Deciding to try a more direct approach, she mustered her strength and rammed against the door, only to be met with searing pain. The movies had lied – doors were far more resilient than she had anticipated.

Wincing from the failed attempt, she quickly retreated back up the stairs, the jingling of her bells echoing a defeat that resonated throughout the desolate warehouse. The fleeting glimmer of hope had dimmed, leaving her once again in the stark reality of her captivity, where even the simplest act of escape proved to be an insurmountable challenge.

The return of Jonathan marked the end of a long and tedious stretch of hours for Y/n. The absence of any form of entertainment in the warehouse became painfully apparent when left alone. The monotony was only broken by the sound of Jonathan's return, a stark reminder of the silent emptiness that lingered in his absence.

Jonathan ascended the stairs, each step accompanied by the weight of boxes in his arms. Multiple trips followed until a stack of three boxes stood beside Y/n's newly provided bed.

"There's your clothes and other things I thought you might need," Jonathan stated.

Y/n, caught off guard, involuntarily responded, "Thanks—fuck!"

Her unintended expression of gratitude hung in the air, a contradiction to the lingering anger that still gripped her. She shot a glare at Jonathan, who chuckled lightly in response, before making his way back down the stairs. The automatic politeness clashed with the undercurrent of resentment that fueled her, leaving Y/n with a mix of conflicting emotions as she contemplated the contents of the boxes beside her.

Sorting through the boxes, the first contained an assortment of clothes, providing a semblance of normalcy amid the chaos of her captivity. The second box held toiletries—shampoo, conditioner, and a toothbrush, a practical acknowledgment of basic needs. However, it was the contents of the third box that stirred an unexpected wave of emotions within Y/n.

She hesitated to delve too deeply into the box, but her eyes were immediately drawn to a soft toy nestled among the items. As she laid eyes on the familiar stuffed creature, a gift from her parents, her heart skipped a beat. The floodgates of emotion opened, catching her off guard.

She gingerly plucked the soft toy from the box, holding it close to her chest as if reuniting with an old friend. The texture of the familiar fabric, the scent of nostalgia, and the sentimental value of the cherished possession enveloped her in a bittersweet embrace. Tears welled in her eyes, and her heart ached with a poignant mix of longing and comfort.

In that moment, the soft toy became a tangible link to a world beyond the confines of the warehouse. It held the essence of home, a symbol of the relationships and memories she held dear. As Y/n hugged the cherished possession, the emotional weight of her situation momentarily shifted, offering a fleeting respite from the harsh reality of captivity.

-

The next morning, Y/n's routine took an unexpected turn as her gaze fell upon a novel placed beside her water bottle. Picking it up, she read the synopsis on the back, a small but significant shift in her otherwise monotonous existence. A smile graced her lips as the realization dawned—she now had something to occupy her time, a welcome distraction from the dull routine that had consumed her days.

Curiosity piqued, she opened the book, and as she flipped the pages, a small piece of paper fluttered to the ground. Retrieving it, she found a note that read: 'There is a fridge downstairs with leftover takeaways and a microwave above it.'

Excitement bubbled within her as she hopped off the bed, the soft toy still cradled in her arms. Approaching the railing, she surveyed the scene below and saw exactly what the note had described. A fridge filled with possibilities and a microwave poised above it promised a break from the mundane.

Rushing back to her newfound haven, she settled onto the bed, toy still in hand, and delved into the world within the pages of the novel. The words transported her to another realm, offering a temporary escape from the harsh reality of her captivity. In that moment, the warehouse transformed into a cocoon of solace, where the power of literature became a beacon of hope in the midst of her confined existence.

-

The introduction of a new routine marked a subtle shift in the dynamics of the warehouse. As Jonathan resumed his work, every other day brought a fresh book to Y/n's bedside, a silent acknowledgment of a shared love for literature. She had adapted to the solitude, getting her own sustenance from the fridge and maintaining a self-sufficient existence within the confines of the warehouse.

However, the lingering silence between them spoke volumes. Neither was willing to break the unspoken barrier. Jonathan, obstinate in his desire for Y/n to initiate conversation, held back any attempts at communication. On the other hand, Y/n, fueled by a mixture of resentment and a desire to maintain her sense of independence, remained resolute in her silence. After all, Jonathan was the architect of her captivity.

The tension escalated as Jonathan made a deliberate move to bridge the gap. Upon returning from work, he ascended the stairs and found Y/n engrossed in her reading, the soft toy cradled in her arms. Unfazed by her apparent disinterest, he unfolded a chair and placed it beside her bed. Seating himself, arms crossed, he waited in a silent invitation for a conversation that seemed inevitable.

Y/n cast a brief glance in his direction before turning away, fixing her gaze on the book in hand. Hoping for a swift departure, she found herself disheartened as Jonathan remained steadfast in his resolve to break the wall of silence that had settled between them.

Reflecting on Jonathan's social interactions, Y/n wasn’t surprise that he had befriended one of his students. His awkwardness and apparent lack of social cues didn't exactly position him as a social butterfly. In fact, she found herself pondering how she, too, had become entangled in his peculiar friendship. As she turned the pages of the novel, her thoughts remained on the strangeness that was Jonathan Crane.

Jonathan, his face etched with a blend of regret and desperation, finally broached the unspoken barrier that loomed between them. "How can I ever get you to forgive me, Y/n..." he asked, his hands rubbing wearily across his face.

A fire still burned within Y/n's eyes as she continued to glare at him. "Well, you can start with taking off these fucking bells," she retorted, her tone dripping with defiance.

There was a glimmer of hope in Jonathan's eyes at the prospect of making amends. He stood up from the chair and hastened down the stairs, a sense of urgency in his movements. The clinking and shuffling sounds below suggested a hurried search for something. Moments later, he reappeared, rushing up the stairs with his arms filled with equipment.

Carefully placing the items down, he selected a syringe from the assortment. Y/n, ever watchful, instinctively pressed herself into the corner, creating a distance between them.

"It's just an anesthetic, don't worry," Jonathan reassured, his voice carrying a tinge of sincerity.

The air in the room grew heavier with Y/n's skepticism as she responded, "And I'm supposed to believe you?"

Jonathan, determined to proceed, cut to the chase. "Do you want the bells off or not?" he asked, a hint of urgency in his voice.

Y/n let out a resigned sigh before reluctantly extending her feet toward him. Jonathan, carefully holding one foot, positioned the needle in close proximity. "I will only hurt for a second," he reassured, his words offering a small semblance of comfort.

Bracing herself, Y/n turned her gaze away as Jonathan pressed the needle into her skin. A sharp sting coursed through her for a brief moment as the fluid infiltrated her system. The room hung in suspense as Jonathan withdrew the needle, leaving only the waiting game for the anaesthetic to take effect. 

The numbness settled into Y/n's foot after a minute. Jonathan, wielding a surgical knife with clinical precision, cut into the skin, his focused expression revealing the gravity of the task at hand. The sight of him peeling back the skin and remove the bells sent a wave of nausea through Y/n. Witnessing the unsettling process, she averted her gaze, unable to bear the visceral reality unfolding before her.

As Jonathan delicately removed the bells, he skillfully stitched up the incision with a few practiced movements. He took care while bandaging her foot, relieving her of the discomfort she had while watching the entire ordeal. Y/n didn’t want to watch him deal with her other foot as she felt sick enough as is.

Her stomach churned with unease, and a sense of relief washed over her as Jonathan said, "Your feet will be numb for a while, so don't go walking around much. And you already know how your feet will feel when it wears off."

As Jonathan stood up, he handed a pill to Y/n, a silent offering to help possibly later pain or infection, she didn’t know and she didn’t ask. Accepting the pill, Y/n reached for the bottle of water beside her bed. However, her attempt at solace was abruptly halted when she watched Jonathan resettle himself in the chair beside her bed.

The warehouse seemed to amplify the growing tension between Y/n and Jonathan as the pill lingered in her hand, an unspoken bridge between relief and resentment. The weight of his gaze intensified her irritation, making the simple act of taking the pill an unexpected battleground.

"Take the pill, Y/n," Jonathan urged, his tone clearly indicating his impatience.

"I don't want to..." Y/n retorted, a rebellious spirit akin to that of a stroppy child.

Jonathan's patience wore thin, and a veiled threat slipped from his lips, "Do you want me to force it down your throat again?"

"I'm not your fucking cat," Y/n shot back, a mixture of defiance and begrudging compliance evident in her demeanor. Despite her resistance, she reluctantly conceded, swallowing the pill. Jonathan rolled his eyes at her behaviour.

"Anything else you would like me to do in the meantime?" Jonathan asked, his tone not hiding his exhaustion.

Y/n, seizing the opportunity to exercise her control, decided to push the boundaries. "I want a TV," she demanded, a request more driven by the desire to inconvenience him than any actual need for entertainment.

To her surprise, Jonathan readily agreed. "Yeah, I can do that. I'll bring one tomorrow," he said, a gesture of compliance that caught Y/n off guard.

Not one to back down, Y/n continued testing the limits. "And a couch," she added, pushing his buttons further, expecting a hint of resistance.

"If not tomorrow, I'll have one by Thursday," Jonathan assured, the easy acceptance marking a stark change from the expected power dynamic.

Y/n, realizing the depth of his desperation for her approval, found herself in uncharted territory, a moment of revelation that hinted at the complexity of their connection within the confines of the warehouse. The power play between captor and captive took an unexpected turn, leaving Y/n grappling with the realization that perhaps Jonathan's motivations were more nuanced than she had initially assumed.

"I, umm... I don't really need them," Y/n admitted, a sudden twinge of guilt clouding her defiance. While she knew Jonathan deserved the challenges she threw his way, a compassionate side of her couldn't help but surface.

"No, you need more. I'm sorry the conditions aren't ideal, so whatever you need, I'll get it," Jonathan replied earnestly. "Besides, I can just bring most things from my apartment."

The unexpected revelation piqued Y/n's curiosity. "So you do have an apartment?" she inquired.

"I do. I just don't go there often. I stay here most days. That's why I had the mattress before," Jonathan explained.

A question lingered in Y/n's mind, and she couldn't resist asking, "So where do you sleep now?" Considering she now occupied the mattress.

"I don't sleep much, but sometimes I just fall asleep at my desk," Jonathan admitted.

"Well, once you get the couch in, you'll have a nicer sleeping spot," Y/n remarked, brining lightheartedness into the conversation.

Jonathan's smile and laughter, though brief, hinted at a shared moment of glee amidst the unconventional circumstances that defined their interactions. 

"I'll leave you be now," Jonathan declared, slapping his knees and rising from his seat before descending the stairs.

Y/n watched his departure before shifting her gaze downward to her feet. It felt strange to see them without the bells now, a tangible reminder of the symbolic chains that had bound her. Yet, the absence of the constant jingling provided an unexpected sense of relief. She could already envision the scar that would mark the place where the bells once clung, but the prospect didn't particularly bother her.

Beside her feet lay the four bells, now detached from her ankles. She reached for them, holding the shiny metal in her hands. Some of her blood still clung to the surface from Jonathan's removal. Y/n wiped it off with her finger, a silent acknowledgment of the visceral experience she had just undergone. Placing the bells down beside her bed, she returned her attention to her reading, immersing herself in the solace that the words on the pages provided—a temporary escape from the complex reality that lingered in the confines of the warehouse.

-

She was roused from her slumber the next morning by the unmistakable sounds of furniture being rearranged downstairs. Surprisingly, as she got up from the bed, her feet barely hurt—a revelation that added an unexpected layer of comfort. Peering over the railing, she observed Jonathan's determined efforts to make space for the couch she had casually requested the day before. The sight of him pushing and maneuvering the heavy furniture hinted at the challenges he must have faced in bringing it through the door.

Jonathan, undeterred by the apparent struggle, eventually succeeded in positioning the couch to his satisfaction. A brief exit and return revealed him carrying a small coffee table, placing it against the wall in front of the newly positioned couch.

"Good morning," Jonathan greeted, catching sight of Y/n as he continued his efforts.

"Hi," she responded quietly, still somewhat stunned by the unexpected display of consideration.

Her surprise deepened as Jonathan ventured outside again, returning with a relatively sized television. Y/n couldn't help but descend the stairs slowly, watching with wide eyes as he set up the cables behind the TV. The realization struck her—Jonathan had gone out of his way to fulfill her requests, even the dumbest requests. As he turned to see her standing behind him, a mix of gratitude and astonishment painted her expression. The dynamics between captor and captive seemed to shift once again, revealing nuances in their connection that neither had anticipated.

"I'm assuming you know how to work a TV?" Jonathan asked, handing her the remote.

Still in a state of shock, she accepted the remote slowly, her fingers wrapping around it. Pressing the power button, the television flickered to life, showcasing some random show from the nineties. Her gaze shifted from the screen to Jonathan, her eyes reflecting the astonishment she felt. In that moment, the man before her seemed more like the Jonathan she had befriended back at the university in his office.

"Uhh... I'll be out for the rest of the day. I have work and... other matters to handle," Jonathan explained, his demeanor awkward and shy.

Unable to contain herself, Y/n found her arms wrapping around Jonathan, the gesture of gratitude. Jonathan, caught off guard, remained motionless for a moment before reciprocating, his arms encircling her in a hesitant embrace. The room was filled with an unspoken understanding, the unexpected connection between the two evolving into a moment of vulnerability and shared comfort. The rapid beating of Jonathan's heart echoed the complexity of their relationship, leaving both of them suspended in a moment that defied the conventional boundaries of their circumstances.

Pulling back from the embrace, she studied Jonathan's face. The bright red hue on his cheeks betrayed his embarrassment, yet he attempted to play it off with a nervous adjustment of his glasses and increased fidgeting.

"I'll head off now," Jonathan announced, a subtle awkwardness lingering in the air.

Y/n nodded in acknowledgment, her gaze following him as he left the warehouse. Settling back onto the couch, she shifted her attention to the TV. The simple act of watching television provided a welcome diversion from the routine of reading, offering a momentary escape from the peculiar circumstances that defined their existence within the confines of the warehouse.

-

When Jonathan returned to the warehouse well after midnight, he found the TV still flickering, casting a soft glow across the room. Y/n, however, had succumbed to sleep on the couch. Jonathan couldn't help but chuckle at the sight—she was slouched on the couch, her head tilted to the side, she would undoubtedly wake up with a stiff neck.

Quietly making his way over, Jonathan gently called her name. Y/n stirred, her eyes slowly focusing on him. In his hand, he held a familiar takeout drink tray.

"I got you a smoothie," Jonathan said, offering her the beverage.

Y/n, rubbing her eyes, gratefully accepted the smoothie. The thoughtful gesture didn't go unnoticed. He had remembered their usual orders, a nostalgic echo of the routine they used to share. "Thank you, Jonathan," Y/n expressed her gratitude.

She took a sip of the smoothie, and Jonathan settled down on the opposite end of the couch, nursing his own coffee. Y/n couldn’t believe that he went out of his way in the dead of night to get the two of them drinks. Like they used to.

"Why are you so nice to me? Most kidnappers aren't as generous as you are," Y/n questioned, looking down at her drink, confusion evident in her eyes.

Jonathan dropped his hands, meeting her gaze with heavy eyes. "I don't want you to feel like you've been kidnapped. I know you technically have, but I'm only doing this because you know too much... and you're my friend. I just want to keep you safe," he explained, the sincerity in his voice piercing through the air.

"So why can't I leave at all?" Y/n pressed, seeking clarity on the boundaries that confined her.

"Because I know you won't come back to me," he admitted, his words heavy with a mixture of longing and fear, revealing a vulnerability that lay beneath the surface. The complexity of their relationship hung in the air, leaving them both to grapple with the intricacies of emotions that defied the conventional norms of captor and captive.

She was well aware of his feelings for her; he had already confessed. Every gesture, every act of kindness, was an unspoken testament to his affection. With each passing day, the evidence of his genuine care only grew stronger. Surprisingly, she found herself reciprocating feelings, not in the way he desired, but as a friend. In the confines of the warehouse, their evolving friendship became a source of solace, making the otherwise challenging situation somewhat bearable. 

Y/n finished her drink, and Jonathan, being considerate, took her empty cup to the bin. "You should probably go to sleep," he suggested.

Nodding in agreement, Y/n slowly made her way towards the stairs. Before heading up, she glanced back at Jonathan. "Goodnight," she said.

Jonathan met her gaze, offering a small smile. "Goodnight, my dear," he replied.

With that, she headed to bed and found sleep easily, the sense of security and newfound companionship making the warehouse feel less like a prison and more like an unexpected haven. The nightly routine, once defined by isolation, had transformed into a shared experience that bridged the gap between the two.

-

Jonathan's gaze lingered on Y/n as she sat on the couch, engrossed in her book. A satisfied smile played on his lips, a silent acknowledgment of his decision to place the couch downstairs. Originally, he had contemplated situating it on the second floor where she slept, but the logistics of maneuvering it up the stairs alone proved daunting. However, a more significant reason was emerging – he relished her presence. Having her in close proximity brought a sense of comfort, and now, with her belongings downstairs, she had more reasons to be near him.

His plan had unintentionally transformed the warehouse into a shared space. The atmosphere had shifted from a mere place of confinement to a peculiar kind of coexistence. As Jonathan resumed his work, he found solace in the unspoken companionship that had developed between them.

Jonathan had never been one to crave the presence of another person. His life had been one of solitude and seclusion, an intentional choice rooted in past experiences that had made his interactions with people nothing but hell. His patience was short, and his temper quick, leading him to snap and belittle those around him.

His history was tainted by strained familial relationships, particularly with his grandmother, who had cast a shadow over potential family dynamics and other close connections. High school only exacerbated his disdain for people. Growing up, Jonathan had accepted the notion that he was destined for a life of loneliness, and surprisingly, he had been content with that prospect. Until Y/n had walked into his office.

Everything within him seemed to shift on the day she entered his life. His feelings, once reserved and guarded, underwent a transformation. The desire for her presence, her company, became a profound longing. Jonathan recognized the unhealthy nature of this longing, particularly given his profession as a psychologist, where he encountered individuals struggling with similar issues. Yet, he reasoned that he had engaged in far more damaging behaviors before. Y/n's presence had, unwittingly, redefined his understanding of connection and companionship.

Jonathan grappled with conflicting emotions. On one hand, he recognized the inherent wrongness of keeping Y/n locked up. He understood the ethical imperative of granting her freedom, allowing her to live her life unencumbered. Yet, desperation clawed at him, fueling the impulse to keep her close. The secrets she held about him, the vulnerabilities she could expose, played a significant role in this internal struggle.

More than that, Jonathan was tethered to her presence by a profound longing that surged through him. It wasn't easy to navigate this desire without her nearby, and the very idea of her leaving stirred anxiety within him. He yearned for her companionship, a connection that had become an integral part of his life.

Witnessing Y/n gradually acclimating to this peculiar new lifestyle brought a sense of relief to Jonathan. He knew it wasn't a sustainable solution, but for the moment, he embraced whatever semblance of normalcy he could find. The complexities of their relationship and the uncertainties of the future weighed heavily on him, but, for now, he would take solace in the fragile connection they shared.

-

Y/n lounged on the couch, flicking through channels as the television emitted a dull hum. Daytime TV proved to be a lackluster companion, offering little more than cheesy infomercials and forgettable reruns. The warehouse echoed with silence, emphasizing the monotony of her confinement. Y/n had been flipping through the channels for what felt like an hour, but nothing seemed to peak her interests.

With Jonathan away at work, Y/n felt an unusual sense of solitude. The newfound freedom to explore the warehouse was both a blessing and a curse. As her gaze wandered around the space, she pondered the mysteries hidden within its walls. The medical equipment, the remnants of Jonathan's research, and the memories of her time spent here intrigued her. She strolled over to his cluttered workbench, where an array of papers, vials, and scientific instruments were scattered. Initially, the documents detailing fear toxins didn't capture her interest; she wasn't keen on delving into the intricacies of Jonathan's fucked up, scientific pursuits.

Her curiosity, however, led her to the drawers beneath the bench. With a gentle pull, Y/n revealed a trove of surprises. The first drawer held a meticulous assortment of labeled vials, each containing distinct substances. She picked up one of the vials, labeled and dated with precision, recognizing the scent instantly. It was the same perfume she had often detected on Jonathan during their encounters.

Pausing to take in the familiar fragrance, she couldn't help but wonder if he had crafted it for a specific purpose. The adjacent papers provided some context, revealing various combinations of scents and their effects. Y/n noticed a sheet that stood out, titled 'Scents and Fragrances that Attract Women.' Intrigued, she perused the list, accompanied by Jonathan's handwritten notes, showcasing his dedication to understanding the nuances of cologne.

Y/n discovered a playful side of Jonathan. A sheet contained doodles and sketches of different fragrance bottles, each annotated with amusing comments. The revelation that Jonathan, the Scarecrow, had a detailed study on cologne preferences added an unexpected layer to his character, leaving Y/n both amused and perplexed by the complexity hidden beneath his fearsome exterior.

Beside the humorous list, there were various combinations of scents documented, showcasing his dedication to finding the perfect olfactory concoction. As she sifted through the papers, Y/n discovered more details about the specific fragrances he had explored, some even labeled with comments like "subtle and alluring" or "intense and captivating."

It became apparent that Jonathan had not only delved into the science of fear toxins but also applied a similar level of scrutiny to the world of fragrances. The revelation added a layer of complexity to the man she thought she knew, leaving Y/n intrigued by the unexpected facets of Jonathan Crane's character.

Y/n continued her exploration, stumbling upon another set of papers that caught her eye. As she read through the notes, her eyes widened in disbelief. "First test showed positive reactions; she became immediately distracted and clearly smelt the air." The revelation struck her like a lightning bolt. The date aligned perfectly with the second day she sought Jonathan's assistance at the office. It dawned on her—was he talking about her?

Examining the page closely, she couldn't help but smile at the small, endearing details. Little smiley faces and hearts were doodled in the corner, adding a touch of unexpected warmth to the some what stoic man. The contrast between the menacing Scarecrow and the man who took the time to create a cologne to attract her left Y/n in a state of pleasant surprise.

This newfound revelation sparked a mix of emotions within her—confusion, curiosity, and a hint of amusement. The complexity of Jonathan Crane, the Scarecrow, unfolded before her, revealing a person with unexpected intricacies beneath the mask of fear and intimidation.

-

As the clock ticked well past midnight, Y/n's concern grew with each passing moment. Restlessly, she lay on her bed, unable to find solace in sleep. The weight of uncertainty pressed upon her, and the silent echoes of the empty warehouse only heightened her unease. Her thoughts revolved around Jonathan's prolonged absence, and the shadows played tricks on her restless mind.

Suddenly, a resounding slam reverberated through the warehouse, jolting her from her half-hearted attempts at rest. With a surge of adrenaline, Y/n sprang to her feet and hurried to the balcony, her eyes scanning the dimly lit space below.

Y/n observed Jonathan from the second floor balcony, his weary footsteps echoing through the warehouse. The day hadn't gone as planned for him, and it showed. He limped toward his medical table, the weariness etched across his face. As he pulled off his mask and blazer, revealing the toll his endeavors had taken, Y/n couldn't help but be taken aback.

His body bore the evidence of brutal encounters—bloody welts and massive bruises painted a vivid picture of the hardships he endured. This was the same man who confidently walked into classrooms, teaching psychology to unsuspecting students. The Scarecrow's true form was far removed from the academic facade she had known.

As he unbuttoned his shirt, the extent of the damage became even more apparent. Old scars crisscrossed his body, testaments to the harsh realities of life as the Scarecrow. The scratches on his cheek, where a knife had cut through his mask, added a layer of vulnerability to the fearsome figure Y/n had grown accustomed to.

Witnessing Jonathan's physical state, Y/n grappled with conflicting emotions. The man before her was not just a villain; he was someone battered and scarred by the very terror he unleashed upon others. The revelation added a nuanced layer to her understanding of the enigmatic Scarecrow.

Y/n swiftly retreated to the mattress, her heart pounding as she tried to maintain the facade of peaceful slumber. The metal stairs announced Jonathan's movement, the distinct sounds of his grunts and creaking knees accompanying his movements. She sensed his presence drawing closer, and the weight of his gaze seemed to linger on her. As he reached the second floor, he paused, and she could only imagine him standing there, observing her.

Jonathan knelt beside her, his efforts accompanied by more audible sounds of discomfort. Despite her closed eyes, Y/n was acutely aware of the delicate balance between their strained companionship and the veiled tension that surrounded them.

The gentle touch of Jonathan's hand through her hair sent a shiver down Y/n's spine. His unexpected tenderness stirred conflicting emotions within her, creating a paradox between the comfort of the gesture and the unsettling reality of their situation. She lay there, eyes closed, pretending to sleep, as he continued his soft caress.

His actions were both perplexing and strangely intimate. The sensation of his fingers gliding through her hair felt genuine. The tenderness in that moment left her questioning the complexities of the man she thought she had figured out.

When he pressed a tender kiss on her head, Y/n's heart raced. It wasn't the fear that gripped her; it was a mixture of confusion, curiosity, and a strange acknowledgment of his unexpected vulnerability. As he left her side and descended the stairs, she opened her eyes.

Looking down at the floor beside her, Y/n noticed yet another addition to Jonathan's extensive collection. Evidently, this was his nightly routine – one that left her feeling grateful. Out of curiosity, she carefully picked up the book and began flipping through its pages, hoping to gain some insight into the man behind the mask. 

Feeling bold, Y/n rose from her bed and descended the staircase, her eyes landing upon Jonathan slumped on the couch. For a brief moment, they locked gazes – a mutual understanding passed between them, igniting a spark of curiosity within her. Without saying a word, Y/n extended her hand, beckoning him to follow her upstairs. Surprised yet mesmerized, Jonathan took hold of her hand, allowing her to lead by her.

Silently, Y/n led Jonathan upstairs, guiding him towards the sanctuary of her bed. Once settled, she climbed onto the mattress beside him, their bodies mere inches apart. Time seemed to stand still as they stared into each other's eyes, yearning for connection amidst chaos. 

“What are you doing, my Dea—" Jonathan was cut off.

“Do you need some pain relief?” Y/n asked, her gaze steady and awkward yet holding a peculiar warmth.

Jonathan looked at her for a moment, their eyes meeting in a silent exchange. Her question hung in the air, a simple offering wrapped in genuine concern.

“No... I already had some, my Dear,” Jonathan replied, his smile revealing a hint of gratitude beneath the layers of exhaustion.

Y/n hesitated for a moment, her eyes reflecting concern. "You don't have to pretend with me, Jonathan," she said softly. "I can see how much pain you're in."

Jonathan's smile faded, replaced by a vulnerability that mirrored the weariness in his eyes. The acknowledgment of his pain seemed to catch him off guard, a stark departure from the usual interaction between them.

"I appreciate the concern, Y/n," Jonathan admitted, his gaze dropping to the scars that adorned his body. "But there's not much you can do about it."

Y/n, despite the unconventional circumstances, felt a strange sense of empathy for him. She reached out tentatively, her hand resting on his arm. The touch was subtle but carried a weight of understanding. Jonathan, in response, seemed to relax a fraction.

"Maybe there isn't much I can do," Y/n began, "but that doesn't mean I can't try to make you more comfortable."

She shuffled a bit on the bed, reaching for the bottle of water on the floor. Without waiting for a response, she handed it to him. Jonathan accepted it, their eyes locking for a moment, an unspoken acknowledgment passing between them. The warehouse, once a fortress of fear, now held an unexpected camaraderie.

Just as Jonathan tried to take a sip, a low groan of pain escaped his lips.

"Maybe you should let me take a look at those injuries," Y/n suggested, her voice softer than usual. 

Jonathan hesitated for a moment, his guarded expression softening as he nodded in agreement. She carefully examined the wounds, her touch gentle yet deliberate. The silence enveloped them, broken only by the occasional creaking of the old warehouse. Y/n, engrossed in her task, felt a mix of emotions. It was surreal—here she was, tending to the very person who had held her captive.

Y/n delicately traced the contours of the bruise on his side, her fingers gliding down his ribs. She noticed the shiver that ran through him, and he instinctively held his breath. It was a touch so intimate, Jonathan had never experienced before.

As she worked, a thought crossed her mind. "Why do you do this to yourself, Jonathan?" she asked quietly, almost to herself. The question hung in the air, seeking an answer that neither of them seemed ready to give.

Y/n sighed, realizing Jonathan wouldn't share the details. She decided to drop the subject, acknowledging that some things were best left unsaid. The room fell into a quiet understanding, punctuated only by the distant hum of the refrigerator and the creaks of the warehouse settling.

“Do you have some kind of soothing cream or something?” Y/n asked.

He nodded slightly, "I should have some in my second drawer on the right."

Y/n swiftly made her way down the stairs, her steps echoing in the dimly lit warehouse. She reached the workbench and located the specified drawer. Pulling it open, she found a small jar of homemade cream. It was clear that Jonathan had crafted it himself.

With the jar in hand, she rushed back up the stairs once more, her heart pounding with a mixture of uncertainty and curiosity. Returning to the bed, she opened the jar, revealing a subtle, soothing aroma. The cream had a velvety texture, and she dipped her fingers into it before gently applying it to the large bruise on Jonathan's side. The cool touch seemed to bring a momentary relief to the tension in his muscles.

She watched him visibly relax as she spread the soothing gel on his side. The cream worked its magic, casting a subtle glow on his bruised skin. As she finished applying it, she took a step back to assess her handiwork. The bruise still painted a vivid picture of pain, but there was a noticeable difference. The cream had lent a certain tenderness to the harsh, angry colors.

“Are there anymore?” Y/n asked. 

Jonathan lifted his arm above his head, revealing the bruise on the underside of his bicep. Without hesitation, she grabbed more gel and gently spread it on the affected area.

She couldn't ignore the vulnerability she saw in Jonathan's eyes, a stark contrast to the menacing figure she had initially perceived him to be. His pain was evident, not just in the physical bruises but also in the weariness that clung to him.

"Does this help?" she asked, her tone softer than before.

Jonathan didn't respond immediately; instead, he merely closed his eyes, seemingly absorbing the relief the gel provided. After a moment, he let out a subtle sigh. "Yes, it helps. Thank you."

Y/n nodded, her fingers tracing the edges of the bruise with delicate care. She couldn't deny the strange intimacy of the situation, a moment shared between captor and captive that transcended their roles.

"I never expected you to be so... hurt," she admitted, breaking the silence that lingered in the room.

Jonathan opened his eyes, meeting her gaze with a mixture of emotions. "You weren't supposed to see this side of me."

As she continued to tend to his injuries, a silent understanding settled between them. After applying the gel to most of his bruises, Y/n set the container down and laid back on the bed.

"We should probably get some sleep, especially you," Y/n suggested.

"...Thank you, my Dear," Jonathan responded, his gaze fixed on the ceiling.

Y/n offered a gentle smile. "Don't mention it." The weight of their unspoken connection hung in the air, a fragile bond that transcended the peculiar circumstances that had brought them together. With that, they allowed the quiet of the warehouse to envelop them as they sought refuge in the realm of sleep.

-

Y/n hadn't anticipated waking up to find Jonathan lying beside her. As she turned to face him, she saw him curled up, knees drawn close to his chest in a vulnerable fetal position. She couldn't help but find him unexpectedly endearing, his usual imposing presence replaced by an unexpected fragility.

Reluctant to disturb his slumber, Y/n carefully slid out of the bed and descended the stairs. There, she spotted Jonathan's burlap mask—the very one he wore as Scarecrow during their unsettling encounters. The mask held traces of his encounters, notably the slash across the cheek where he had been cut.

Holding the material delicately, Y/n searched for a needle and thread which she found tucked away in one of his drawers. She retrieved the tools and settled on the couch, turning on the TV with lowered volume to provide a subtle background noise.

With meticulous care, Y/n began the task of stitching up the two slashes on the mask, skillfully mending it in a way that made the cuts imperceptible. As she worked, her mind swirled with thoughts about the man whose vulnerability she now witnessed.

She hadn't heard Jonathan approach, his movements muffled despite his subtle grunts, until his presence loomed above her. Startled, she turned to meet his gaze.

"Good morning. How are you feeling today?" Y/n inquired, genuine concern etched on her face.

"Better. A real bed makes all the difference," Jonathan replied, acknowledging the upgrade in his sleeping arrangements.

Y/n chuckled before presenting his burlap mask. "I stitched up your mask."

Jonathan, taken aback by the unexpected gesture, managed a quiet, appreciative response. "Thank you." It was a small act of kindness, a rarity in his world of calculated motives and hidden agendas, and it left him momentarily stunned.

He settled into the seat beside her on the couch, an air of distress lingering on his features, but not the kind associated with physical pain—something else. Concerned, Y/n asked, "Is everything alright, Jonathan?"

“Your family called the university... they're worried,” Jonathan confessed, his gaze avoiding hers.

Her stomach sank, realization hitting her like a ton of bricks. She had completely forgotten about her family's feelings and the fact that she hadn't spoken to them in over a month.

“U-umm... is there any way you can tell them I’m okay?” Y/n's emotions surfaced, evident in her voice and expression.

“I’ve sent them emails, saying you attend my classes and that you’re okay, but you can imagine how much that helped,” Jonathan said, his words carrying a weight of stress.

Her lip quivered as she bit it, grappling with the emotions bubbling to the surface. Y/n didn’t want her family to worry; they had been against her going to Gotham in the first place. The lack of communication likely intensified their concerns.

Jonathan sensed her internal struggle and suggested, “Would you like to call them?”

Y/n's eyes widened in disbelief. She was supposed to be kidnapped, and here he was, unexpectedly offering to let her call her family. “Really?”

Jonathan took a moment to consider before nodding. “As long as you don’t mention this... situation.”

Y/n eagerly nodded. “Yes, yes. I promise.”

Jonathan rose from his seat, a noticeable limp in his step, making his way to his desk where he likely left his burner phone the day before. As he approached, Y/n stood, and he handed her the phone.

His intense gaze lingered on her as she quickly dialed her dad's number. Holding the phone to her ear, she anxiously listened to it ring.

“Hello?” the voice on the other end of the line asked.

Y/n felt a surge of hope and relief. “Dad?”

“Fucking hell! Where the fuck have you been?!” Her dad's voice boomed through the phone.

“I'm so sorry, Dad,” Y/n replied, a mix of guilt and relief coursing through her.

Jonathan observed her as she spoke, witnessing her gradual calmness and the visible release of stress from her shoulders.

“Why haven’t you been answering your phone?” her dad demanded.

“U-umm, my damn phone went to shit a bit ago, and I haven’t had the money to buy a new one. I should have said something. I'm sorry, Dad,” Y/n fabricated a lie on the spot, and a sense of relief washed over Jonathan.

“Fucking hell... well, you better go call your mum; she’s freaking out too,” her dad said, his tone slightly calmer.

“Okay, I’ll call her right after,” Y/n promised.

“Well… thanks for calling... finally,” her dad added a snarky comment, causing her to chuckle a little.

“I’ll try to keep in touch more, sorry, Dad,” Y/n said.

“Yeah, yeah…”

“I’ll call Mum now. Bye-bye, Dad. Love you. See you later. Love you. Bye,” Y/n said in a flurry.

“Yep, love you too. Bye,” he replied.

Y/n ended the call.

Jonathan chuckled, "Nice little goodbye," he remarked about how she ended the call.

Y/n smiled, "That’s how I say bye to my family... been doing it for years, just a habit, I guess."

“Your mum wasn’t there?” Jonathan asked.

“Nah, my parents are split. May I call her too?” Y/n asked.

Jonathan nodded, and she dialed her mum’s number, waiting patiently while it rang.

“Hello, Karen speaking?” her mum answered.

“Mum, it’s me,” Y/n said, feeling a lot more relaxed after talking to her dad.

“Fucking heck, Y/n! Why haven’t you been answering!” her mother exclaimed, quite similar to her dad's reaction. Jonathan couldn’t help but chuckle.

“I’m sorry, Mum. I’ve just talked to Dad. My bloody phone got messed up ages ago, and I haven’t been able to replace it. I’m sorry,” Y/n explained.

Her mother sighed on the other end. “Fuck, thought you were bloody dead,” her mum said, and she chuckled a little.

“I know, I’m sorry, Mum. I have to go now though. I will call you later, okay?” Y/n said.

“You better darn well. My baby, call me!” Her mum insisted.

“Okay, bye-bye, Mummy. Love you, bye-bye, see you later, bye,” Y/n said before hanging up.

“Well... your parents were quite...” Jonathan tried to think of a word.

“Aggressive bunch, they are.” Y/n smiled and laughed.

Jonathan chuckled with her. It was a rare sight as of late—Y/n being genuinely happy. She set the phone down on the couch and practically jumped into his arms. He was taken aback for a moment but instinctively held her tightly.

“Thank you so much, Jonathan. You don’t know how much this really means to me...” Y/n said, her words filled with gratitude, and she kissed him on the cheek.

Jonathan felt his face heat up, a warmth spreading from the spot where her lips had touched. Y/n didn’t seem to realize the impact of her gesture, but for Jonathan, it was a moment he couldn’t easily forget.

As Y/n held him, the pain from his injuries seemed to fade into the background. In that moment, the touch of another person, especially someone like Y/n, made Jonathan feel a warmth he had long forgotten. Despite the injuries and the struggles, he couldn't bring himself to let go. It felt like an anchor in the chaos of his life.

For a while, they stayed like that, a silent understanding passing between them. The atmosphere was both fragile and comforting, and Jonathan found himself appreciating the rare companionship he had stumbled upon.

Y/n settled back onto the couch, her enthusiasm evident. "So, I'm assuming you got a couple of days off work? Can't go in looking like that," she remarked with a smirk.

Jonathan, still a little stunned, nodded as he took a seat. "I'll give my body a rest for the day, then go in tomorrow," he replied.

Y/n's smile widened. "Well! I was thinking... we could play some card games. I saw a pack in one of the boxes you got me," she suggested.

Jonathan raised an eyebrow, his voice carrying a hint of judgment, "You want to play card games?"

Y/n looked down, a mix of embarrassment and disappointment crossing her face. "We don't have to... I'm sorry."

Jonathan sighed. "Go get your cards."

Y/n lit up, her disappointment turning into excitement, and she rushed up the stairs to grab the cards. Y/n returned with the pack of cards, excitement evident in her eyes. She spread them out on the coffee table and motioned for Jonathan to join her. He hesitated for a moment before lowering himself onto the couch, sitting across from her.

As they played, the atmosphere shifted from awkward to surprisingly comfortable. Y/n's laughter echoed in the warehouse, and even Jonathan found himself smiling at her infectious joy. The card game became a welcomed distraction, a break from the unusual and challenging routine of their days.

As the game progressed, Jonathan couldn't help but appreciate the simplicity of the moment, something he had almost forgotten amidst the chaos of his life. The playful banter and shared laughter made the time pass swiftly, and for once, the warehouse felt less like a prison and more like a peculiar refuge.

In the midst of the card game, Y/n glanced at Jonathan, a genuine smile on her face. "See? It's not that bad, right?" she said, her eyes searching for a hint of agreement in his gaze.

Before Jonathan could respond, a knock echoed through the warehouse, causing both of them to freeze. 

"Go to your bed," Jonathan demanded, his eyes fixed on the door.

Y/n swiftly rose from the floor and sprinted up the stairs. Peering over the balcony from the second floor, she observed Jonathan grabbing a canister of his toxin before approaching the door cautiously.

Jonathan opened the door a crack and peered through, "Fucking hell, Nigma," he muttered, his guard dropping.

Edward pushed the door open and strolled in. "Good to see you haven't moved your safe house," he remarked.

"I see you're out of Arkham. Hope you haven't come here for revenge," Jonathan said.

"No, no, I had my fun with you already," Edward replied.

He sauntered over to the couch, picked up the newspaper, and casually flipped open the crossword puzzle. As he kicked his legs up on the table, his eyes fell on the laid-out cards.

"Uh, I see you brought her back to your hideout," the Riddler commented.

Y/n took a sharp breath and hastily hid behind the balcony wall.

"Leave her alone, Nigma," Jonathan warned, heading toward his work station.

“Don’t worry your little head, Crow-boy. I have no intentions of hurting her,” Nigma said with a sinister smirk.

“Why are you here?” Jonathan asked, growing impatient.

Edward filled in the words on his puzzel, seemingly unbothered by the atmosphere. "Just thought I'd check in, see how you've been," he replied cryptically. "Word on the street is that the Scarecrow is going soft. It seems you may have some enemies that would benefit from such information."

Jonathan's eyes narrowed. "I'm not interested in your gossip, Nigma. Why are you really here?"

Edward sighed dramatically. "Fine, fine. I need a favor. A little collaboration, if you will."

"A collaboration?" Jonathan scoffed. "Why on earth would I help you?"

Edward leaned back, a sly grin on his face. "Because, dear Scarecrow, this involves our mutual friend, the Batman."

Y/n's curiosity heightened, and she quietly edged closer to the balcony railing, trying to catch every word of their conversation.

“My identity remains unknown, so the Batman's antics don't effect me much. I prefer to stay under his radar and focus on my own experiments. What do you offer in return for my help?" Jonathan asked.

Edward leaned back, a cunning grin on his face. "With your little secret out, you might find yourself in need of protection. I can offer that, among other things."

Jonathan dismissed the notion with a scoff. "I don't need your protection."

Edward, however, persisted, his eyes flickering towards the hidden Y/n. "Maybe you don't, but she does."

"..Who knows?" Jonathan mused.

"Even though I have two wings, I'm a bird that cannot fly. I often like to swim, and on ice is where I dry," The Riddler cryptically remarked.

The reference was not lost on Jonathan. "So what? I've never had issues with him," he replied.

"Maybe not, but you've had many with his new partner..." Edward smirked, his tone laden with implication.

Jonathan sighed, realizing that the Riddler was determined to make things complicated. "And who might that be?"

Edward continued his enigmatic banter, saying, “I’m something made of metal, although I am not a bell. I am something that is round, you throw in a wishing well.”

Jonathan couldn't help but roll his eyes. “He has no right to be angry; he was the one who double-crossed me,” he retorted.

Y/n chuckled softly, appreciating the unintentional pun in Jonathan's response.

“Well, either way, you need me. I’ll be back in a couple of days,” Edward declared, rising from the couch.

“Farewell, Crane. So long, Doll,” Edward added as he walked toward the door, prompting Y/n to stand from her hiding spot behind the balcony and wave him goodbye.

Y/n made her way back downstairs, eager to continue their card game, only for Jonathan to stride toward the door. "Wait, where are you going?" she asked, concern etching her voice.

"I have to go out for a bit," Jonathan replied.

Y/n quickly caught up to him, grasping his arm to stop him. "But you're hurt! And you're always out! A-and what if the Riddler's right? What if someone comes to hurt me?" Her desperation was evident in her rapid rambling.

Jonathan looked back at her, attempting to reason, "I'm doing this for your benefit."

"But I don't want you to leave me, I'm lonely here," Y/n admitted, her vulnerability laid bare.

"I can get you a cat if you'd like," Jonathan suggested, attempting to lighten the mood.

"But I want you!" Y/n insisted. "Please! I love you!" Y/n pleaded desperately, willing to say anything to keep him there.

Jonathan sighed, his gaze fixed on her. "Don't say that. I don't want you to lie to me just for me to stay," he said.

"But...I do care about you. You're my friend," Y/n insisted, genuine emotion in her words.

Jonathan looked away, deep in thought. "I'll stay with you until you go to sleep, and I'll come back in the morning," he finally agreed.

Her face lit up with a smile, and she eagerly pulled him back to the table, ready to continue their card game.

True to his word, Jonathan stayed with her for the remainder of the day. Y/n had never felt more content. When she eventually dozed off on the couch, Jonathan gently carried her to bed. Before leaving for the night, he planted a soft kiss on her forehead, a gesture that lingered in her dreams.

-

Several weeks had passed since the unexpected visit from the Riddler to Jonathan's hideout. During this time, Jonathan had altered his routine, dedicating more time to Y/n when he was at home. Y/n appreciated this change, and she noticed that he had also granted her more freedom, allowing her to contact her family whenever she pleased. Surprisingly, she hadn't made any attempts to call for help, a fact that pleased Jonathan.

Y/n had always found Jonathan attractive, even when he was her professor. In these recent weeks, she had the opportunity to appreciate him even more. Up close, he was undeniably captivating, and she grew to love his personality, which was no longer hidden behind the professional facade.

She had started inviting him to sleep in the bed with her. After the first night in which she dragged his injured body to bed, she found reasons for him to join her, making excuses to have him in bed beside her. Whether it was engaging in late-night conversations or persuading him to read to her, she wanted him close. She felt guilty about him always sleeping on the couch, so now she made sure he shared the bed with her, providing a sense of comfort for both of them.

Y/n's developing crush on Jonathan wasn’t hard to spot, at least she thought so. She found herself captivated by his presence and the more relaxed atmosphere that had settled between them. It wasn't just admiration for his looks, but an appreciation for the person he was beneath the intimidating exterior.

One evening, as they sat on the couch watching a movie, Y/n couldn't help but inch a little closer. She glanced at Jonathan, wondering if he noticed the subtle shift in dynamics. The air seemed charged with unspoken emotions, and Y/n's heart fluttered as she realized the line between friendship and something more was beginning to blur.

Jonathan perceived Y/n's sudden clinginess as genuine friendliness. He appreciated her company, it was a rare and unexpected connection, given his reclusive nature and the awkwards circumstances. Unaware of the subtle shifts in Y/n's emotions, he valued her presence as a comforting and genuine friendship, even if he desired more.

-

Y/n laid on her bed, engrossed in her book, anticipating Jonathan's return. The serenity was abruptly shattered by the rattling of the warehouse door. A surge of anxiety coursed through her veins. Puzzled, she questioned why Jonathan, who had the keys, would resort to such fumbling with the door. The disquiet intensified as frustrated yells echoed from beyond.

The situation escalated when forceful bangs reverberated, as if an unknown force sought to pry the door open. However, the reinforced fortifications, courtesy of Jonathan and Edward, stood resilient against the onslaught. The perplexing events unfolded, leaving Y/n on edge, contemplating the identity of the uninvited visitor.

Y/n's trembling hands reached for the budget phone Jonathan had provided her. She anxiously dialed his number, praying for a swift response. "Pick up, Jonathan, please," she whispered to herself.

"Y/n?" Jonathan's voice finally came through.

"Jonathan, I think someone's trying to break in," Y/n whispered urgently.

She could discern the sounds of hurried activity on Jonathan's end of the line. "You need to listen to me. I want you to go to my desk and feel underneath the second drawer for a key."

Y/n rushed down the stairs and followed Jonathan's instructions. She felt around the bottom of the drawer and found a key taped to the underside. "I've got it," Y/n said, her voice trembling with anxiety.

"Go to the bathroom, open the locked cabinet, move everything out of the way, there should be a nail, pull it up, and there is a hole. Get in the hole and stay there," Jonathan instructed urgently.

Y/n hurried to the bathroom, ignoring the persistent banging on the door. Unlocking the bathroom cabinet, she peered inside. The cardboard was filled with soaps and other bathroom clutter. She quickly moved everything to the adjacent cabinet, making it appear less suspicious than if it were scattered across the floor.

Just as he described, there was a nail. Y/n pulled it up, revealing a hole big enough for her to sit in comfortably. She crawled into the cabinet and closed the door, hesitating to sit down as the fear of claustrophobia began to creep up on her. She remained standing, caught between the safety of the hole and the reality of the cabinet.

“I-I'm in the hole," Y/n said, her voice trembling with anxiety.

"Stay there, I'm on my way. Put the phone on speaker; I want to hear everything. But keep quiet," Jonathan instructed, his voice calm but firm.

Y/n carefully put the phone on speaker, clutching it tightly as she listened to the ominous sounds of the intruder trying to force their way into the warehouse. The tension in the air was palpable, and Y/n couldn't shake the fear that gripped her.

"Inside the hole, you can pull the nail down, so it appears normal. If you hear someone getting close, that nail has to be down," Jonathan instructed, his voice carrying a sense of urgency.

Y/n nodded, even though he couldn't see her, and carefully pulled the nail back down. The idea of someone being so close was unsettling, and the weight of the situation pressed on her. She strained to hear any movement outside the bathroom, her senses heightened in the tense silence.

The sound of the door being forced open sent a shiver down her spine, stealing her breath away. Crouching down in the confined space, she closed the lid of the hole, her hands trembling. A sense of numbness enveloped her as the reality of the situation sank in. Though she knew Jonathan was still on the line, she had never felt so alone.

The intruders made their way into the warehouse, creating a racket of noise as they tossed items around the room. Y/n strained to hear their voices or catch any hint of their intentions, her anxiety intensifying with each passing moment.

Y/n could hear muffled voices and the thud of footsteps echoing through the warehouse. There was no light in the small space, leaving her in complete darkness. Every sound outside intensified her fear, making her more aware of her vulnerability in that cramped hiding spot.

The intruders' voices grew louder, but their words remained indistinct. Y/n strained to understand their motives, her mind racing with the possibilities of who they might be and why they were there. The uncertainty weighed heavily on her, intensifying the claustrophobia of the hidden space.

As the minutes passed like hours, Y/n's senses heightened. She could feel the tension in the air, her breaths becoming shallower. The sounds of the intruders searching the warehouse became more methodical, as if they were getting closer to her hiding spot. Every creak and shuffle outside amplified her anxiety.

Y/n heard the bathroom door swing open, and her body froze in place. The slightest movement could betray her presence. She trembled, her breaths syncing with the rhythm of her fear. While the likelihood of being discovered seemed remote, the possibility lingered..

Unexpectedly, the atmosphere outside the hiding spot erupted with terrified screams. "Get it off me!" someone shouted in agony. Y/n's heart pounded as the cacophony of panic unfolded around her. It dawned on her—Jonathan had devised a defense mechanism, likely dispersing fear gas to deter the intruders.

A mix of relief and dread filled her. The fear gas was a double-edged sword; it protected her but also induced intense anxiety in those outside the hole. Y/n instinctively covered her nose, mindful of the invisible tendrils of the gas that might seep into her hiding place. The muffled cries and chaos persisted, a testament to the effectiveness of Jonathan's unconventional security measures.

The screams outside the hole intensified, echoing through the warehouse. Y/n could hear the desperate cries for relief from the invisible grip of fear. The muffled chaos hinted at the effectiveness of Jonathan's defense mechanism — the fear gas.

Huddled in the cramped space, Y/n realized the gravity of the situation. Jonathan had strategically prepared for such a threat, deploying a countermeasure to incapacitate anyone who posed a danger. The fear gas, notorious for inducing hallucinations and terror, had effectively turned the tables.

As she covered her nose, Y/n couldn't help but feel a strange mixture of relief and anxiety. The screams continued, and she could only imagine the surreal scenes unfolding just beyond her concealed refuge. The unsettling knowledge that the gas was both a safeguard and a reminder of Jonathan's darker capabilities lingered in her mind.

Through the phone, Jonathan's voice reassured her, "It's okay, Y/n. They won't harm you. Stay in the hole until I tell you it's safe."

The minutes stretched as Y/n waited anxiously, her senses heightened by the confined space and the lingering scent of the fear gas. The aftermath echoed through the warehouse as the intruders succumbed to the fear gas, collapsing in a collective unconsciousness. The once chaotic atmosphere now transitioned into an eerie stillness, broken only by the measured steps of someone approaching the bathroom. Y/n's senses heightened, detecting a calm and deliberate presence nearing her hiding place.

The cabinet door swung open, and a knock resonated from above. "Y/n, it's me. You're safe," it was Jonathan, his familiar voice cutting through the residual tension. Y/n exhaled a breath she hadn't realized she was holding and pushed the cabinet lid open.

Greeted by Jonathan in his Scarecrow mask, Y/n wasted no time. She pulled him into a tight embrace, her racing heartbeat finally slowing as she clung to him. Panting, tears welled in her eyes, a mixture of relief and lingering fear finding an outlet.

Jonathan reciprocated the hug, pulling her out of the cramped hiding spot. He placed a gas mask over her face, ensuring she wouldn't inhale any lingering fear gas. Despite the lingering tension in the air, the embrace provided a momentary sanctuary, a shared understanding of the vulnerability they had just faced together.

"We have to go; it's not safe here for a while," Jonathan declared, urging her to stand.

"W-where?" Y/n inquired, uncertainty lacing her voice.

"Nigma's finding a place. I'm taking you to my old apartment," Jonathan explained as he guided her out of the bathroom. They made their way to her bedroom, ascending the stairs amid the scattered and unconscious intruders. The once orderly space now lay in chaos.

"Bring what you need for tonight, we'll grab the rest later," Jonathan instructed, a sense of urgency in his voice.

Y/n gathered her essentials - a pillow and her stuffed toy. As she waited by the stairs, Jonathan navigated through the disarray, picking up her current book, which had been tossed around in the commotion.

He led her out of the building, rushing through the chaos, and they reached his car. Jonathan removed his mask before driving away. It was Y/n's first glimpse outside of the warehouse, revealing a container storage area with various warehouses. Beyond the containers, the vast expanse of the sea unfolded before them.

She couldn't fathom the fact that she was leaving. Surprisingly, she found herself reluctant to part with the warehouse, but more significantly, with Jonathan. Despite growing attached to the peculiar space, she was strangely content leaving it behind, especially since Jonathan was accompanying her.

As they drove through the Narrows, they eventually arrived at an apartment complex. To her surprise, it didn't mirror the bad state of the rest of the Narrows, instead, it appeared relatively normal. Jonathan swiftly went to her side of the car, opening the door and assisting her out.

He guided her inside the building, avoiding the gaze of the occasional passerby. Navigating through the hallways, he led her to his apartment. Upon opening the door, the interior seemed scarcely lived in, giving off an air of minimalism. She could clearly see where his couch used to be and the tv that he moved to his hideout.

"When were you here last?" Y/n inquired, taking notice of the visible dust settling in the room.

"A couple of weeks ago," Jonathan replied.

Jonathan hesitated for a moment, clearly uncomfortable with the idea of having someone in his personal space. Nevertheless, he decided to let her be there because there was no where else he could keep her safe. He took her to what seemed to be his bedroom, also with the noticeable layer of dust laying across everything.

As Y/n placed her pillow on the bed and climbed on with her toy, Jonathan followed suit, pulling back the covers and helping her get tucked in. Just as he was about to move away, Y/n clung to his hand, “Where are ou going?”

"You don’t need to worry, Y/n. I’m not going to leave you, not tonight," he reassured her as he walked to the other side of the bed, joining her under the covers.

Y/n moved closer to him as he settled into the bed, laying her head on his side. He wrapped his arm around her, holding her tightly. 

"Go to sleep, Y/n," Jonathan whispered.

Y/n closed her eyes, holding both her toy and Jonathan tightly. The rhythmic sound of their combined breaths created a soothing melody, gradually lulling her into a peaceful slumber.

-

Waking up in this unfamiliar environment felt peculiar for Y/n. The cacophony of the Narrows served as her alarm clock, and as she opened her eyes, she found Jonathan still beside her, seemingly unchanged from the night before.

"Jonathan?" Y/n spoke.

"Did you sleep fine?" Jonathan inquired.

"Yeah... I'm fine, I think," Y/n replied.

"I want to talk to you about something," Jonathan stated.

"Mhmm?" Y/n hummed, intrigued by what he had to say.

Jonathan turned to face her, his eyes filled with a mix of emotions. "I've been thinking, and... I believe it's time to discuss your future, Y/n."

Y/n shifted slightly, intrigued yet unsure of where the conversation would lead. "What do you mean, Jonathan?"

He took a deep breath before continuing, "it’s been long enough, I think you can go now…” Jonathan said.

“W-what?” Y/n could barely speak.

“I trust you won’t say anything that will ruin the reputation I’ve built for myself, so I think you can go back to... whatever you were doing before,” Jonathan said.

“But I don’t want to leave you,” Y/n replied, her eyes welling with tears.

“Y/n, it’s not healthy for you to be locked up with me,” Jonathan tried to explain.

“Oh, fuck off! You didn’t give a damn when you took me in the first place!” Y/n yelled.

“Y/n, please... I don’t want you to be fucked up like this,” Jonathan said, looking away, his face hardened.

“That’s not fair! You should have thought about that before!” Y/n yelled, standing up from the bed and stomping her foot on the ground.

“I took you for selfish reasons, I will admit that, but you were never meant to be with me forever,” Jonathan said.

“Then why can’t I stay for selfish reasons?” Y/n asked.

“And why would you want to stay with me, hmm? I’m your professor who’s obsessed with you! I’m the one who kidnapped you! I’m the Scarecrow!” Jonathan yelled back, frustrated.

“Because I love you, Jonathan!” Y/n cried, tears pouring from her eyes.

Jonathan shook his head. “You can’t just say that, Y/n.”

“Yes, I can! Because it’s true!” Y/n yelled.

“But it’s not. You don’t really love me, Y/n. You’re confused,” Jonathan said, coming closer to her. He held her face in his palms as she cried.

“No, I do love you, Jonathan!” Y/n insisted.

“Y/n, I can’t keep you hidden,” Jonathan said.

“Then don’t! Just don’t leave me!” Y/n cried.

“I…I don’t know if our relationship will stay the same, Y/n. I don’t know if I can control myself,” Jonathan confessed.

“So! I don’t want it to be the same, I want more!” Y/n insisted.

“W-we’ll just see how it goes,” Jonathan said, not quite looking at her.

Y/n sighed with relief, “Thank you.”

“We will just stay here for a while…just before we find a new place to live. You’ll be allowed to leave whenever you wish, and you can do whatever you please. I won’t hold you back any longer,” Jonathan explained.

Y/n nodded, jumping back on the bed. Jonathan sighed, still wrestling with his internal struggles. He sat down on the edge of the bed, running a hand through his disheveled hair. Y/n scooted closer to him, her eyes searching his troubled expression.

“I just don’t want to hurt you, Y/n. I've done terrible things, and I can’t promise it won’t happen again,” Jonathan admitted, his voice heavy with the weight of his past actions.

“I can handle it. I want to be with you, Jonathan,” Y/n said, determination in her eyes. “We can work through it together.”

Jonathan glanced at her, his eyes revealing a mix of gratitude and concern. He remained silent for a moment before finally nodding. “Okay. We’ll take it one step at a time.”

Y/n smiled, relieved that he was willing to give their relationship a chance. They spent the rest of the day in the apartment, discussing their plans for the future and enjoying each other’s company without the confines of the apartment.

-

Edward had found a new hideout a week later, nestled further on the outskirts of Gotham, which bore a semblance to the warehouse they had left behind. Jonathan meticulously arranged the space to mimic the comfort of a home while maintaining the necessary elements for his work. The dimly lit room now had a certain warmth, thanks to a few strategically placed lamps, and the air carried a faint scent of a vanilla-scented candle that Y/n insisted on bringing.

As Y/n explored the room, she noticed familiar items from their previous hideout, each carefully placed to recreate the atmosphere they had grown accustomed to. The bed, although a bit sturdier, still held the same comforting aura. The bookshelves were adorned with a mix of academic literature and some novels Y/n had enjoyed.

Jonathan, usually reserved and focused on his work, couldn't help but crack a small smile as he observed Y/n's appreciation for the effort he put into making the new hideout feel like a home.

“We should be safe here for a while,” Jonathan commented, glancing around the room. “Hopefully, no unexpected guests this time.”

Y/n chuckled, “Fingers crossed. But if they do show up, we can handle it together.”

The understanding between them had grown, forged through the challenges they faced together. Jonathan appreciated Y/n's resilience and her willingness to stand by him, despite the risks involved. As they settled into their new hideout, the sense of companionship and shared purpose became the foundation of their unconventional relationship.

Y/n embraced the newfound freedom to live her life as she did before, with the added company of Jonathan. The bed, once solely hers, now became a shared space where they both found comfort and solace. The boundaries between their personal spaces blurred, and the room echoed with a shared sense of belonging.

In the soft glow of the lamplight, Y/n curled up on the bed with a book, the rhythmic turning of pages accompanying the occasional sound of Jonathan working on his experiments. It was a harmonious coexistence, where the solitude of their individual lives melded seamlessly with the shared moments in their hideout.

As Y/n glanced over at Jonathan, she couldn't help but marvel at how their lives had intertwined, creating a tapestry of shared experiences. The room, once a sterile workspace, now bore the imprints of their cohabitation—a testament to the unconventional but genuine connection they had formed.

She brushed aside the notion that their relationship had a fucked up start, cherishing the imperfections that had paved the way for something beautiful. In her eyes, the unorthodox beginning only added depth to the intricate tapestry of their connection. Despite its unconventional nature, their relationship had blossomed into a perfect blend of shared moments, understanding, and genuine affection.

-

A/N: The ending was a bit boring, I will admit, but I couldn't think of how else to end it. But I did enjoy writing a little part two for this one so here it is! Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it and feel free to request! 💚

[hotchfiles]

first. damn your love.

pairing: james x fem!reader.

content warnings: james being kind of an ass, cheating on lily, lily will be probably shit talked (i luv her i'm very sorry !), reader being a lil side piece, uhhh cursing, pro quidditch player!james, not totally AU but like... canon divergent i would say, reader insert with no use of names or “y/n”. probably hurt/no comfort unless i switch the ending but-- paragraphs completely in italic are flashbacks and each chapter will have one.

word count: 2,5k

chapter 1

      You wake up startled by the loud banging coming from your door, a glance at the clock on your nightstand makes your eyes roll immediately, but truthfully, you couldn't help moving your lips into a slight smile. There was only one person who would be at your door at three in the morning on a Thursday, and that person was James Potter.

      You were still groggy and exhausted, having gone to bed just two hours before. However, you would never be able to ignore him and he knew that, so you sit on your bed and yell at the door, it was a tiny flat, he, as well as the neighbours, unfortunately, would be able to hear you loud and clear. "JUST WHY, IT'S THREE IN THE MORNING."

      "I need to talk to you," he said loud enough so you could hear him, and sure enough that was convincing enough for you to get up and open the door, and he was right. You take a deep breath and mumble something you yourself didn't even understand, but it seemed like he got it. "I knocked on your door countless times, come open it, please." A loud grunt leaves your throat and you get up lazily, heading to the door, managing not to bump into furniture only because you knew your own apartment too well.

      You yawned a few times and unlocked the door, opening it to find James. the guy who was usually all smiles seemed quite apprehensive. You got concerned and felt a bit less sleepy because of it.

      "What happened, Jamie?" you ask, giving him space to enter your home, which he quickly did. Closing the door swiftly to be able to look at him with a serious glare. "Please tell me you're not drunk." You couldn't smell alcohol, but something about him was off; he seemed disconcerted.

      "Of course not!" Still, you watched him cautiously as he sat on the sofa, sighing deeply. You followed his steps, sitting beside him and taking one of his hands, cold as a stone.

      James looked at your hands and then at your face, smiling calmly and breaking the contact just to hug you sideways, so your head rested on his shoulder, a quick response to a regular move. "I received an offer from Wimbourne Wasps," he began, and you heard another sigh from him, you kept quiet, saying nothing as you waited for him to continue. "I'm seriously considering accepting it." He fell silent, and for a few seconds, you still waited for him to say more, but he didn't.

      "And what's the problem?" you asked.

      "Lily didn't take the idea very well. We had a fight. Sirius isn't thrilled with this possibility either. Appleby Arrows' fans got wind of the offer, and even though I haven't accepted it yet, they're already calling me a traitor." he poured it all out at once, and for a moment, you were speechless. You could understand Sirius, and the fans… But his girlfriend too? What happened to support and companionship in a relationship? You sigh deeply and look into his eyes, hoping to give him the assurance he so wanted to receive from someone, anyone.

      "You want to take it?" You hold back all the insults you could direct at his girlfriend, and see him nod slowly. "Then do it. It's your life, your career, no one has the right to interfere in what you think is best for both."

      "Really?" he asks, another cry for validation, and you nod, getting a beautiful smile from him. "You're the best person in the world." Those sweet words cut deep through your chest. Hearing that was good, but knowing that even if he thought that, you weren't his first choice hurt like a goddamn bitch. But you smiled, stealing a kiss from his lips and remembering the first time he had said those words when you were both fifteen.

      You looked into his eyes and tried to look as serious as possible, trying to show that you weren't that kind of person, and he knew that very well. Asking you to do something like that went against how you had led your whole student life. But contrary to what you thought, you weren't convincing enough; you just made him show a big and adorable pout of supplication.

      "Please, honey! I have to train for the next match, it's an important one. I won't have any time to think about it, to research, to read and write." He shook you by the shoulders, and you held back a long sigh that was about to escape, just blinking a few times and reconsidering the idea of ​​helping him.

      You threw your arms in the air to show you were accepting your defeat, and the smile you loved so much was again the center of all your attentions, James kisses your forehead and brushes his lips to yours teasingly. You laughed with rosy cheeks because that still made me you nervous, and he hugged you sideways.

      "Honey, I love you," he said simply, casually. Your heart raced, despite knowing each other for years and having been friends during all of them, he had never said those words to you, not even when he asked you out, then he only said that he liked you more than a friend. You looked into his eyes and nodded, unable to respond, but knowing he would understand. "You're the best person in the world."

      "D'you have plans for tomorrow?" he asks after a long period of silence. You already had your eyes closed, about to doze off on his shoulder, nodding calmly was all response you had energy to give. "Cancel them and come with me to Wimborne." You open your eyes in a jump, getting up and leaving his embrace. That was one of the best and worst things about James Potter: He always had unexpected plans.

      It was fun, but there was always that tone in his voice, as if you were obliged to do what he said, never a request, always an order. The real problem was that you could never bring yourself to complain, any plans he had with you, any time you could spend with him was enough, because you were the other woman, you had to accept his conditions, adapt to his schedule and his… Needs. You did feel like trash many times, used, especially when he disappeared for weeks and only showed up when he needed to hook up with someone and his girlfriend was somehow unavailable. But you had loved him since before you were fifteen, and you couldn't help it, it was your impromptu response, always, to just let him make you a fool for his attention.

      "I do need to know some info before, y'know?," despite wanting to go because you loved traveling with James, there were some different concerns since the last time you had done it together. "How long do you plan to stay? And what happened to your girlfriend? What if someone sees us?" You take a deep breath after pouring out all the questions without pause, and James smiled sweetly, putting one of your hair strands behind your ear.

      "The weekend, we'll be back sunday afternoon," he began, and you knew he already knew you would go either way, just by the way he spoke. "Wimbourne's proposal was made over letter, I'm going to study it better, talk to the directors, and make sure if this is really good for me." James sounded calm, irritatingly calm and confident, but you kept your mouth shut, the two most important questions still remained unanswered, you cross your arms and wait for him to do it so. "Lily went to spend a few days with her friends, said she wasn't in the mood to look at my face after the fight. And no one will see us, I swear." You rolled your eyes and sighed, throwing your arms up in the air, totally defeated, making him laugh.

      "I'll pack then," you shrugged and got up, feeling his arms hug you from behind and his lips tracing a trail of kisses between your shoulder and your neck, making you shiver and turn abruptly, sealing your lips in an initially calm kiss, but you both knew where that would lead.

      James paused the kiss just to throw you over his shoulder, forcing you to hold back a scream and then burst into laughter in a way that probably all the neighbours heard, and you were carried to the bedroom, where he threw you on your bed and took his shirt off, soon returning to where you had stopped minutes before.

      You were having breakfast calmly while James took his shower, having someone serve you breakfast in bed reminded you of when you lived with your mother, and you were loving it. It was already Saturday morning, and you had spent the entire previous day walking around town, getting to know the home of one of the most famous quidditch teams in your country; you went to the Minster and saw the Chained Library, the Astronomy Clock, the small local museum and the adorable model town.

      Then you both just kept going into every place that served coffee you could find. The rest of the afternoon was spent comparing which coffee was better and as a result, you arrived at the hotel more excited than usual, talking loudly and making senseless jokes that made you both laugh scandalously. Anyone who saw you would think you were drunk.

      Obviously, after so much caffeine, you stayed awake all night and unlike what would normally happen, you and James just talked, snuggling lightly, as if you were sixteen again. You felt heavenly, still not quite believing that such a thing was happening; it was as if he had finally noticed that you were the person for him, that you deserved the girlfriend title, and that brought you joy so immense nothing could ruin.

      "What you eating?" he asked, a towel wrapped around his waist, and you could see his chest still wet from the shower, but honestly, that wasn't sexier than James messing with his wet hair frantically so that it wouldn't get too messy, or maybe to mess it up even more.

      "Toast, come eat," you felt your eyes tear up as you yawned loudly, you were tired, too tired. you still hadn't slept, neither had he, and you had both taken a shower to wake up, but it didn't seem to have worked. "When's the Wimbourne Waps' meeting?"

      "Toast, just toast? I'm an athlete; I need much more than that." James complains in the most whiny of ways, but takes the toast you were about to eat from your hand and takes a big bite, sitting on the bed still wet. "Dinner tonight; apology in advance for leaving you alone." His lips form a pout, and you roll your eyes laughing, pulling his face against yours and giving him a quick kiss. "Oh! I have a surprise, miss!" Tremendous curiosity invades you but still it doesn't stop the laughter that comes from your lips when you see him putting more of the toast in his mouth than he could actually chew.

      "Nitwit." you lightly slap his arm, and he spits out part of what was in his mouth with the scare. "Potter! Gross!" you shout in disgust and leave the bed running, but soon he comes after you, pulling you by the arm against his chest. You smile and look into his eyes, "What's the surprise?"

      "Look in the black suitcase while I put on at least some pants." You agree with a nod and leave the embrace, going towards the suitcase and you can hear his steps going in the opposite direction where he left his clothes.

      You open the suitcase with great expectations, having no idea what it could be because James is, in fact, very good at surprises, so you never really know what to expect from him. You see the contents of the suitcase, and for a second, you feel disappointed, but then you shake your head, slap your right palm on your forehead, and burst into laughter, finally noticing what the fuss was about.

   ��  "You brought your wizard's chess set?" incredulously you ask, still laughing as you turn to him, already dressed, a smile on his face.

      "Of course! I hardly have time to play at home, and I like playing with you; it gets my ego going." He shrugs and takes the board on his hands, putting over the bed instead of the table, so you both would be comfortable.

      "I'm not that bad!" you complain loudly, making a face and taking the chess pieces to him, so he could set it up.

      "Yes, you are."

      You huff but decide not to complain. It had been a long time since you had spent time like this, being teenagers, and you were loving every second of it.

      Unfortunately, the weekend had flown by, proving that as everyone says, all good things come to an end because all you wanted was to spend the rest of your life in that B&B, in that town with James by your side. On a happier note, James seemed to finally have his focus solely on you, and he was also virtually decided to accept Wimbourne's offer; everything seemed to be falling into place.

      Yet he seemed bothered by something as you both arrive at your building, so you sigh and look at him. taking one of of his hands swiftly and kissing one of his cheeks, asking if something had happened. He simply smiled weakly and shrugged.

      "Nothing honey, just in a bit of a hurry."

      "Hurry? You're not coming up with me?" You were obviously sad with that, but try to ignore it, knowing that he probably had practice. However, you soon notice that, unlike what you wished for, time hadn't stopped, and it was already Sunday evening.

      "Can't, Lily's already home by now."

      Your heart felt like it was going to implode; Lily, as always, was the priority, not you, not your company, and the weekend for him hadn't meant a third of what it had meant to you.

      You muster strength from unknown places to you and smile, holding back tears.

      "I understand! See you later, then." You let go of his hand, open the car door and get out, looking back only to open the back door and grab the only suitcase you had taken. He doesn't say anything, he doesn't move.

      You leave your suitcase in some corner of your flat, still trying to hold back tears. But as soon as you pass by the picture frame with a moving photo of you both from five years ago, you break down completely.

      Sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall, you berate yourself for being stupid enough to think that he had changed. You end up spending hours there, without moving, just crying as hard as you could, and you come to a conclusion.

      Loving is pain.