#insert innuendo here

[techwrecker]

and that’s about as far from quiet as it GETS

Logan: There is no quiet anymore… There is only Wade Wilson.

[bougiebutchbitch]

I’m delighted to announce that Wilson and House have moved in with each other, for the first but definitely not the last time in this series <3

[mafaldaknows]

“Official” is the new “allegations”🙄🙄🙄

[average-crazy-fangirl]

Agreed, jaffa cakes are best.

I love ginger nuts with a cuppa tea tho

[dandelion-wings]

Uploading these for @canonical-transformation, who pointed out that I was missing the best line(s) of this conversation. :>

[spawnradio]

Up late. Farming melons. Cold. Feeling it on the tips of my ears. Good times.

[sunriseverse]

does he have like some sort of magic shirt repelling powers i swear to god every time i’ve seen him he winds up missing a top.

[zaldritzosrose]

Carpe Noctem (Modern Goth!Aemond x Goth!Reader)

Summary: Aemond enjoyed the darker side of life; the morbid, the macabre. He reflected his outside with how he looked on the inside, ignoring the unusual stares he would get from passersby. His world revolved around it, losing himself in dark and fantastical worlds...and then he met you. His real life gothic heroine.

CW: MINORS DNI, afab reader, she/her pronouns, gothic coded reader, gothic Aemond, dark/morbid fantasies, outdoor sex, graveyard sex, mild exhibitionism, oral (f receiving), p in v sex, phone sex, innuendo, profanity, (yes this is probably my truest self insert, sue me), Aemond wishes he could live in a gothic novel.

Words: 4535

Surprise I posted earlier than expected!

Happy Spooky Season! This is my second fic submission to our Fan Frankentober Event (masterlist will be found here) in collab with a few lovely moots! Head over to @fandomeventcenter for more info!

There was a darkness in Aemond. A darkness that had been left unconsidered and unloved until he had met you.

Aemond was a lover of all things macabre and morbid. It had started when he and his family had moved houses, living just a short walk from a cemetery. Horror stories had always fascinated him. Tales told to scare around a campfire or in a darkened room. Stories meant to get the heart racing and the hairs to stand tall on the neck.

The older he got, the deeper he delved. Collections of stories, ranging from the well-known classics to lesser-known fables, lined the walls of his room.

His interests soon followed. His music reflected his darker curiosities, from haunting musical classics to heavier, grungier sounds of heavy metal and gothic rock. And his clothing choices followed not long after, modelling himself after his favourite artists and horror icons. Even covering his injured eye – a mishap in his childhood – with a bespoke leather eyepatch.

Aemond lived his life by the darkness he always felt within.

You had always felt a little outcasted, though some of it was self-inflicted. You preferred solitude, with the only company being the fantastical beings within the pages of your favourite books.

Your love of art and photography helped you channel the morbidity within into something beautiful. Wandering around derelict buildings and darkened graveyards. Styling your images after the scenes in your novels.

Holding an affinity for the tragic heroines and broken damsels in your books, you began to create art of yourself. Posing for timer taken photos in intricate costumes. Collating the photos and creating your very own spooky, fantastical online presence.

That’s where he found you. He had joined the site to follow his favourite authors, artists and musicians. Simply to immerse himself further into the world he enjoyed.

He had been scrolling through posts, mindlessly passing time while his siblings bickered about something or other. And there you were.

It was like you had been pulled from one of the novels on his shelf. The layers of lace that draped over your body, the red as deep as freshly spilled blood. Makeup dark and deathly. Before Aemond knew it, he’d opened your page. Trawling through photo after photo, slowly getting lost in the dark, ethereal draw you seemed to hold.

After weeks of keeping himself updated with your posts, he decided he had to know you. No matter what happened, he had to try.

Tentatively, he opened his messages and, inspired by your ‘Spooky Season’ posts most recently, he chose one of his favoured quotes from Bram Stoker’s Dracula.

“I have crossed oceans of times to find you…your work is beautiful, almost as beautiful as you.”

Aemond could feel his heart beating hard enough he feared it might burst from his chest. Was that too weird? Was he too forward? Would you find him creepy?

There wasn’t much he could do now; the message was out there and deleting it would be even more suspicious.

So, he waited.

Your phone dinged and the message notification surprised you. A message from the username ‘truetooneanother’. You instinctively checked the profile first; it wouldn’t be the first time a stranger had messaged you in response to a photoshoot. Most were harmless, but you were always cautious.

A quick scroll showed almost exactly what you expected from a Frankenstein inspired username. Aesthetic pleasing images of books, his cat, shots out music gigs and records. Even a mix of beautiful photographs of what you guess was where he lived – perfectly framed images of graveyards, lakes, and some of the most gorgeous gothic architecture you had ever laid your eyes on.

But what you wanted, was a picture of whoever this stranger with classic horror knowledge was. And some deeper scrolling came up with your prize. One of few shots of your mystery messenger. A posed photo lit by what you guess was a fireplace or candles. The profile of his face was in main focus, and you were sure you could see what looked like an eyepatch, maybe?

A couple more scrolls and you found a full image of his face and you could have sworn your jaw dropped just a little. There was just something about him that had you intrigued.

Immediately, you reopened his message.

“That’s very kind of you, and how did you manage to choose one of my favourite literary quotes?”

You hit send and waited. Soon, you could see that he had read your message. You were surprised that you felt a flutter of nervousness in your stomach. You had never been like this over a stranger online before. But when your phone pinged again to say he’d sent a message, you were chewing your lip in excitement.

“Because it is my favourite, I can’t count how many times I’ve read Dracula. And your last post inspired it, you looked like you’d fallen from one of its pages.”

You could feel the blush on your cheeks. No one had ever spoken to you that way. Complimenting you without making you feel uncomfortable. Most comments or direct messages were failed attempts at flirting, sexual innuendo or just downright creepiness.

This time it felt different.

“Classic horror is one of my greatest inspirations, everything in those books is pure darkness and fantasy…making it real is a passion. Can I ask your name?”

There was something about the words he chose, the way he wrote his messages that gave you butterflies. How could you be so fascinated about someone you didn’t know?

“Aemond. May I ask yours?”

“Then you manage it perfectly, it suits you.”

Those two messages only made you blush deepen. Why was he having such an effect on you?

You gave him your name, feeling the heat radiating of your cheeks as he continued to compliment you – almost poetically.

You and Aemond continued to talk, moving your messaging from you social media to giving out your phone number. Those messages soon turned to phone calls, his voice bordering on hypnotic. You could barely get enough.

His phone calls were as poetic as his messages. The gentle timbre to his voice would sink into your mind and settle there.

A few more weeks and those phone calls became video chats. Hours spent talking about books, music, films. Where your favourite places were to photograph – for you it was where to set your shoots, for Aemond it was the places he wanted to create art from.

It wasn’t long before things turned a little more…x rated.

Behind the scenes pictures of your photography outings, showing off the variety of corsets, barely there lace dresses you would don for your ideas.

This was how you’d found out Aemond also enjoyed fencing. It was both expected and unexpected. When you’d learned his surname, you realised he came from a pretty well known Westerosi family, so higher class pursuits weren’t too far out of the question.

But the picture he had sent this morning, post training but pre-shower…

It had set your whole body on fire. Silver hair let loose and hanging over his shoulders. Clad only in his white fencing trousers and no shirt. Pale skin, lean torso on show. And his caption had waves of arousal coursing through your body.

He was beautiful. Like a dark character from one of your fantasy novels. It took you a moment to formulate a reply, and what you gave was far from your usual ability.

“Are you trying to kill me off?

You’d ended your message with a couple of emojis, the hot face emoji and the winking face. It wouldn’t be the first time you and Aemond had shared more racy messages, but this had been the first time he’d sent a photo like that.

And your heart was in your throat, desire wet between your thighs when you saw him typing.

“I would never, but nice to know you find me that attractive… you could see this in person if you wanted?”

“Fuck…” you muttered aloud, staring at the screen in disbelief.

A cheeky thought entered your mind. A picture for a picture was only fair, right?

You made sure the angle was perfect, showing off the shape of your body, your hand tucked seductively between your thighs. Your shirt bunched up to show a little skin. You added only a few dirty emojis and one word.

“When?”

Aemond almost dropped his phone when you sent that message back. Between the photo and your message, his skin felt hot, the crotch of his trousers getting tighter the longer he looked at it.

Fuck, you were stunning. Seduction and sensuality personified. His hand was tucked into the waistband of his trousers before he could stop himself. His other frantically messaging you back.

“Next week? You have that graveyard shoot planned right?”

Aemond’s hand shook as he typed. He needed release and he needed you.

“You have no idea what you do to me…I crave you…you have witchcraft on your lips.”

You fingers were like lightning as you replied, your own hand still nestled between your thighs. Part of you wanted to call him, hear his voice talking you through the desire that was thick in your veins. Your fingers dipped beneath your underwear, the ones holding your phone hovering over the call symbol.

And then the phone rang. Aemond’s name flashing on your screen. You barely even said ‘hello’, your voice soft as you dropped back onto your bed.

“Talk to me, please just talk to me…”

Aemond let out a soft chuckle, ending in a groan as his hand settled entirely into his trousers.

“Do you need me, sweet girl? Did my bare chest turn you on that much?” his voice was in that tone you adored.

Low and soft, almost a whisper. It sent a shiver down your spine in the most delicious of ways, settling deep within your core.

“You have no idea. Now I know what you hide under all that black and leather.”

Aemond only hummed in response, the rustling of material telling you exactly what he was doing. But you wanted to hear his voice. The soft sound of his breath told you he was as aroused as you were. Sometimes, the simplest things were enough to get the two of you going.

“Oh, darling, I hide a lot more than that. How badly do you need me?”

The tone, the implication behind his words had you sighing softly, fingers toying with your pearl. Circling softly at just the thought of what the rest of him might look like. You tried to calm yourself, to muster some of the darker more erotic poetry you had read on his recommendation.

“I…oh...I want your lust to tear the flesh of my bones, fuck…and leave me ravaged…”

Aemond felt his good eye roll into the back of his head. Having you read that poetry was one thing, but hearing it fall from your lips and mixed with sounds of pleasure. He could have come there and then.

“And ravage you I will, my darling…”

He could hear the movement of your hand against your body, the faintest sounds of your slickened fingers pushing you closer and closer to orgasm. His own hand working himself furiously at just the thought of having you beneath him, moaning his name. He laid himself entirely back on his bed, his phone on his chest as his hips began to rut up into his hand.

“I’d like to taste you in ways my tongue dare not speak…”

That was all it took to have you softly sighing his name down the phone, your release coming like waves over your body. Aemond followed soon after, rough grunts matching the rhythm of his hand.

Both of you panted as you calmed, the silence falling comfortably until Aemond spoke.

“I can’t wait to meet you.”

The day had come. Months of messages, calls, video chats had all led to this. You were going to see him in the flesh. And he was going to see you.

You had both agreed to meet just as you finished your planned Halloween shoot – a bit on the nose admittedly but you had chosen a graveyard near your hometown with your favourite horror heroines as your style inspiration. Ranging from classics like the Bride of Frankenstein to newer icons such as Morticia Addams. Simply, the shoot was entirely self-indulgent for you.

You knew you wouldn’t miss him. A few friends had come to help you out, setting up the camera, getting changed into another costume and all that. But other than that, the graveyard was relatively quiet.

Your focus remained on the shoot. Remembering your poses, the props, what you envisioned for the final images. But you could see the silver hair in the distance, contrasted against the entirely black palette of his outfit. Aemond kept his distance, leaning against a headstone as he waited patiently for you to be done.

The shoot was done, you had changed into what could only be described as a more casual combination of the costumes from the shoot. A flowy black dress, paired with Victorian inspired boots and a lacy black shawl you’d had since you could remember.

You could see Aemond walking towards you, your friends having long packed up and dispersed – most of them knowing what you had planned afterwards. Nerves set in your stomach.

What if he didn’t like you? What if, despite seeing you through the screen, he was no longer interested?

But all of that disappeared the second he stood in front of you. His long, lean form clad head to toe in layers of black. From the thick wool of his coat to the silken fabric of his shirt and the leather of his boots. That eyepatch laid perfectly over his eye – you had asked what happened and despite being a little unwilling, Aemond explained he’d injured it as a child but said no more. It was almost as though he enjoyed being mysterious.

“Aemond…” you smiled, moving to slip down from your perch on a stone wall.

Your smile only widened when Aemond held out his hand, offering his assistance to help you down. And you took it gladly, letting his fingers wrap around yours without hesitation.

Aemond kept hold of it, toying softly with one of the rings you wore.

“That shoot was truly a sight to behold,” Aemond whispered, his voice sending a shiver down your spine.

He knew what it did to you, you knew he did. You were sure that he would choose that tone purposefully in calls to rile you up. And you loved it.

“So, you liked it? Horror Queens wasn’t too obvious for Halloween?”

Aemond laughed, and you let him lead you to a little clearing in the gravestones. Everything felt comfortable, his hand holding yours, the feel of him stood next to you. It just felt right.

“You were perfect, as always. Even now it’s as though you’ve stepped from, dare I say, one of Shelley or Stoker’s pages.”

You squeezed his hand in response, not knowing how to respond to such a compliment. But you were struck even more silent when you saw where he was leading you.

A large blanket was stretched out on the ground, perfectly placed between a group of headstones. A small gift, wrapped in black and red paper and finished with a velvet bow sat beside a hamper filled with food. More specifically, your favourite foods.

“Well, aren’t you a romantic?”

You sat down on the blanket, stretching your legs out in front of you as Aemond sat at your side. His arm instinctively wrapped around your waist. It was like you’d been beside each other for the longest time, everything felt so natural.

“A romantic? I am simply a man who wishes let you know how important you are.”

Aemond felt a need to restrain himself a little. Part of him wanted to spout all of the poetry and stories that wandered around his mind, to declare his love for you.

But he had just met you, in the literal sense. And he’d be damned if he scared you off now.

You, however, liked that about him. How open he was with how he felt. How he wasn’t afraid to give in to every emotion he felt.

“So, tell me. Don’t you know how much I enjoy your poetry?” you said it almost shyly, feeling Aemond’s arm tighten around your waist.

Aemond felt he could have melted there and then. But at the same time, the idea you enjoyed his words so much set a fire in his veins that he didn’t expect.

“Then you will very much like your gift, my darling.”

He leaned away, tugging the neatly wrapped gift towards him. Part of you felt guilty, you hadn’t bought him anything. But at the same time, you knew him well enough to know he wouldn’t mind.

His fingers brushed yours as you took the present from his grasp. As carefully as possible, you tugged at the ribbon and unwrapped it. They felt like books which didn’t surprise you at all, from Aemond. But what they truly were would surprise you.

Two beautifully bound notebooks, in black with shades of purple and red. Your breath caught in your throat as you opened the first one.

Pages upon pages of both of your favourite quotes, lines from poetry. You were already overwhelmed by the time you opened the second.

Handwritten versions of the poetry Aemond himself had sent you. The lines he had written to express his feelings towards you now preserved in his equally beautiful handwriting.

“Aemond…this is…”

You simply couldn’t find the words. So, you did the one thing you felt could express what you were feeling. You kissed him.

You almost threw yourself at him, the books discarded at the side as Aemond scrambled to catch you. Arms wrapping immediately around your waist and holding your body to his. Your legs straddled his waist, and you poured every ounce of affection and desire into your kiss.

Soon, Aemond reciprocated. Sliding a hand into your hair as his other gripped at your thigh.

He’d imagined everything about what kissing you would be like. How your lips would feel, how you would taste and how your body would feel beneath his hands.

The reality was more than he could ever imagine. And he wasn’t about to waste a single second.

Your own hands roamed over his body, gripping the soft, silk of his shirt while the other began to push the coat from his shoulders. You didn’t care that you were outside, there was no one here anyway.

All you needed was him.

Aemond shrugged his coat from his shoulders. The moment the fabric slid from his body, he moved to lay you on your back. The picnic could wait. You were the only meal he wished to devour.

Your dress bunched around your waist. Aemond slipped easily between your legs, and you could feel just how much he was enjoying the kiss. The swollen length of him pressing against you with only his jeans as a barrier.

His hips instinctively began to roll against yours, the hand on your thigh pulling your leg up to wrap around his slim waist. His lips began to trail down your neck and your head tilted back to let him continue his path.

Your breath came out in soft pants, your hand tangling into his hair as his lips settled on the exposed skin of your chest. Just as the first moan left your lips, Aemond pulled back.

His eye found yours, the blue entirely eclipsed by his pupil. Pure lust settled in his gaze.

“Shall I ravage you as I promised, my love?” Aemond leaned down, teeth nibbling at your ear lobe as he spoke.

You pushed your hips up against his in response. Words were failing you, but you could see in the look he gave you that he wanted your words.

“Please, Aemond, please…”

Your voice was embarrassingly whiny, need dripping from every syllable. And his response was immediate, latching his lips back onto your neck with a little more force this time.

“Whatever my love wishes, she will have. Your pleasure will know no bounds…”

His words were muffled as he buried his face into the swell of your chest, but what he said didn’t really matter anymore. All you both needed know was the touch of the other.

Your eyes rolled back as he continued his descent down your body. Pushing your dress higher as he reached your core. Your hand tangled tight in his hair, the pain only spurring Aemond on.

This was like a dream. The softness of your skin, the scent of your arousal as he licked a stripe over your clothed cunt. Aemond wished to commit every second to his memory.

He draped your legs over his shoulders, feeling you shift to rest on your elbows. The idea of you watching him had a heat licking up Aemond’s spine in the most delicious way.

Slim fingers tugged your underwear down your legs, a smirk thrown your way as he tucked them into his jeans.

“A souvenir?” you asked, chewing on your lip in anticipation as the cool air hit your slick folds.

Aemond didn’t answer, head dipping back down and settling between your thighs. His breath hot against your skin, sending goosebumps over the flesh of your thighs.

The moan you let out as his tongue licked over your core was almost sinful. Echoing through the empty graveyard as your head dropped back in pleasure. The sound only spurred Aemond on, now lapping at your folds as if he was a man starved.

“Delicious, so fucking delicious…” he almost growled the words into your body, sending vibrations through you that only heightened your desire for him.

His lips latched onto your pearl, suckling it between them and relishing the high-pitched keen that fell from your lips in return. He could already feel your thighs tightening around his head and Aemond was desperate to taste you on his tongue.

Your hand tightened to the point of pain in his hair, nails scratching against his scalp in a way that had him moaning into your cunt. He was rewarded with a fresh gush of slick over his tongue. Your fleshy walls pulsing around his tongue as he delved back in.

His name was like a prayer on your lips, chanting it over and over again as you felt the knot in your stomach tightening.

“Come for me, my beautiful creature…” Aemond grunted out the command as you tugged his face harder against your body, rolling your hips against his face.

Everything had sparks of pleasure biting at your body. His tongue licking at your walls, the slope of his nose rubbing against your clit in the most perfect way, his grip on your thighs almost painful.

You came with a scream of his name, a final pull on his hair earning you a hiss of pain but Aemond didn’t relent. He lapped up everything you gave him until you had to wriggle away from overstimulation.

“Fuck…” your voice was barely more than a whisper as you pulled Aemond back up your body.

Your skin was flushed, your cunt still pulsing as your high slowly left you. But Aemond’s hardened cock pressing against your damp core reminded you that he still needed to be taken care of.

And Aemond could see the look of mischief in your eyes. Your hips canting up to press your soaked core against him.

“Insatiable, hmm? Do you wish me to take you here, among the dead?”

You pressed your lips to his, sliding a hand between you to palm at the thick bulge in his jeans.

“I would let you take me anywhere; I am desperate for you…”

Your teeth tugged at his lip, his eye rolling back in his head.

“Besides, you did say you would ravage me.”

You punctuated your words with a squeeze of his cock, rubbing your palm down the length of it as he dropped his head to your neck. A few more touches had his cock twitching beneath your palm. Your fingers made quick work of his belt and zipper. Aemond came back to his senses just enough to push his jeans and underwear down just enough to free himself.

He immediately lined himself up with your entrance, slowly pushing inside. The head of his cock stretching your walls in a way that had your sighing out his name.

The day had gotten darker, but it only made the whole experience more perfect. The sun beginning to set just as Aemond began to thrust into you, the orange glow illuminating him from behind. His silver hair painted gold and his skin almost glowing.

“Yes, oh, yes…”

Your moans were the only sound Aemond ever wished to hear. His name had never sounded more beautiful that when it fell from your lips in pleasure.

His hands tangled with yours as he held them high above your head. His thrusts slow but punishing, feeling like he was filling every inch of your core.

“You are everything I need, my darling. A dream come true, a dream I never wish to wake from…”

Aemond’s words were answered with your mewls and moans, your heels in the small of his back spurring him on. His rhythm sped up in response, all but pounding into you with abandon.

You were both now solely chasing your pleasure. The only sound aside from your joined moans was the rustle of leaves and the faint cawing of birds.

Aemond’s lips locked with yours as he felt your walls clench around him. Pleasure overtook you and he drank down every one of your cries as his own release was milked from his cock with every twitch and pulse of your cunt.

His movements slowed, but he wasn’t ready to pull from your body just yet. He released your hands, resting his head against your chest. Your hands found his hair and back, calmly stroking as you both relaxed.

Neither of you knew what to say, but you both felt it. A calmness, a connection that tugged at both your hearts.

Aemond had known you were meant for him from the moment he had seen that first photo. But you, you believed it now. No one had made you feel as he did for the longest time.

It wasn’t love; it was more. Something darker, deeper.

You felt empty as Aemond pulled out of you, finding something to clean you up with. But it wasn’t before you were wrapped in his embrace again.

“I’m so happy I met you,” you whispered, pressing a kiss to his jaw.

“Though I fear I cannot be without you now.”

Aemond pulled away, tilting your face up to his.

“Darling, you’re already in my veins.”

The kiss he pressed to your lips was filled with nothing but love and promise. Promise of a darker, deeper love that you had only ever read about.

A love you would now get to experience.

Aemond Taglist:

@legitalicat @anjelicawrites @sylasthegrim @aemondsbabe

@aemondsbabygirl @blissfulphilospher @elaratyrell @multyfangirl

@thenameswinter99 @tumblin-theworldaway @kaelatargaryen

@hoosbandewan @thought--bubble @mysticalendings

@towriteloveontheirarms @arcielee

[hipsdofangirl]

i like this one

phlebotomist! minghao x reader

summary: another blood-drawing session, hopefully your hot amazing doting professional boyfriend doesn’t lash out on his juniors again.

genre: semi (not really) hurt-comfort, established relationship, fluff, non-idol

major warnings: brief mentions about bad outcomes of blood-draws, blood but contained, use of needles, slight innuendos but nothing explicit

minor notes: minghao doesn’t appear till halfway, some medical terminology and some not cause i forgot what each thing is called, everyone does the procedure correctly but i may miss steps, some inappropriate worker-patient interactions, not proofread

wc: 2k

“just to let you know, i have very tricky veins,” you warn.

the phlebotomist who welcomed you chuckles quietly, snatching gloves from the box near your right arm. you observe them as they snap on their gloves.

the phlebotomist comments, “don’t worry, i’ve been doing this for a while so you should be in safe hands. needles don’t make you sick do they?”

you quickly shake your head. “no, well at first yes but i’ve conquered my fears over them recently.”

they smile. “that’s good! now place your arm on here.” they lower down an arm rest on the chair you are sitting at.

you brace yourself. for the past couple times, the phlebotomist always had trouble finding your veins, ending up with you near-fainting or presenting you with a hematoma that covered your arm. you exhale, ready for that possible pain.

the phlebotomist flicks their eyes to you. you only present them with a fleeting smile.

they inform you, “this is going to be uncomfortable for a bit.” they wrap the blue rubber around your arm and tie it, the texture grating against your skin and sitting uncomfortably on your bicep. you only smile in response.

once secured they move on to the crook of your elbow, maneuvering their pointer finger and pressing down on bits of skin where blue lines are visible; they press down 5 times, spots centimeters away from each other.

“i like this one,” they state. you exhale again but quieter, hoping the procedure would go smoothly. the phlebotomist prepares their equipment is about to insert the needle; you turn your head away, freezing your body to be still, and inhale.

the needle goes in smoothly; you glance back at the phlebotomist.

after a couple minutes the phlebotomist gets antsy, the tube was only halfway filled. they slowly move the needle out.

they toss it away. “this one is not as fast as i hoped, but it should do. now for your other tests.” that’s right—you had 2 more tubes to go. you groan to yourself and tilt your head back: luckily no dizzy spells or pain yet. they quickly grab a cotton ball and tape to plaster it.

the phlebotomist looks at your hands and presses down, starting with your right. nothing to note. they press down on your left—also nothing to note. they sigh and gather themselves back. they take off the band you subtly forgot was there.

“how about you go the bathroom and run your hands under warm water,” they request. your eyes narrow, never hearing this task before. “i’ll call you back when you should be good.”

you push up the arm rest and saunter over to the connected bathroom. you turn on the hot water, wincing when you placed both hands under. you lean your body on top of the sink—head drooping in mental exhaustion. of course it wouldn’t go easy. if only they had listened to you.

after 5 minutes of listening to your inner monologue to pass the time, you are called back. hand now beating red, you sit back down. the phlebotomist doesn’t fully smile as the arm rest sits back down.

after going through the steps again, they insert the needle next to a knuckle in your right hand. nothing comes out. they take it out and mutter to themselves as they plaster on another cotton ball.

“do you mind if i try one last time?” they ask. you admire their persistence but dread the question.

“sure.” you know no one can come save you now.

they attempt the pit of your right arm again, taking off the tape, and as expected, nothing.

they roll their eyes, throwing away the sharps before walking to the main area. you slightly slip down in your chair and close your eyes—still no terrible symptoms you suppose. how long has it been though?

the phlebotomist comes back into view and releases you. no way they are going to send you home now, right? your hands are still hot to the touch.

“you are going to be transferred to another chair, if you are okay with getting poked more?” they state.

“anything to just get it done; i can keep going,” you reply.

another figure positions itself in the doorway.

“alright. just follow me, please,” the figure with the senior phlebotomist badge states.

the junior informs him, “personally, i like the one inside of their arm.”

the senior scrutinizes you. “i like this one as well.”

you smile, blush creeping upwards on your face. you meet your boyfriend, minghao’s, eyes. he fidgets, hand trapped under his other palm; you can tell he is struggling not to swallow you up in a hug.

eagerly, you push up the arm rest again and trot towards him. out of the corner of your eye, you notice the earlier phlebotomist slouch with a grumpy look.

minghao notes when you are beside him and slowly begins to walk over to the lab window.

once it is only you two, he remarks, “how come you didn’t ask to see me?” you glance down to his lips to see the lower one slightly more pronounced than the upper.

“i tried to subtly suggest it,” you defend.

he interjects, “you should have just outright stated it.” you sigh, nonchalantly bumping your shoulder with his right arm. he sighs himself, noticing you aren’t looking at him anymore, and he can’t help but not take his eyes off you. “i know you have a hard time speaking up in these professional situations, but it would be better for me—you to get the help comfortably that you need.”

you snort, “the terms ‘hospitals’ and ‘comfortable’ don’t seem to fit in the same sentence to me.”

his eyes crinkle. “maybe not, but still. you should not be in pain when it can be avoided.”

you rub the inside of your elbow, remembering one of a previous phlebotomist’s attempts at fishing. minghao glances around, then places his palm on the center of your back, thumb rubbing circles.

suddenly, he slightly grips your shirt with the tips of his fingers, causing you both to stop. at the little window stands one of the lab techs and friend.

“vernon, what’s the minimum amount needed for their tests?” minghao releases his grip and walks up to the window, placing the rack of vacutainers assigned to you. vernon turns around and picks one up—gloves on.

“ahh, i know it’s 3 mL for the cbc count but i’m not sure about the other,” he peers down at the other tube, placing the one in his hand back on the rack carefully. like he is breaking out of a trance, he stands upright. “oh, hi yn.” he waves.

you smirk at his constant demeanor. “hi vernon,” you respond in a singing-tone.

vernon takes a step towards the computer and not-so-subtlety flicks his eyes between you two. you switch your attention to minghao to see him scanning your face; you provide him a gentle smile and another shoulder bump.

minghao only observes you, his eyes clouded with thoughts regarding you. “we’ll do the lowest amount required for you, and don’t worry, i’ll set you up.”

those bland words made your stomach flip—you don’t know if it’s from the semi-blood loss or needle punctures or your cute yet serious boyfriend showing his minute care. even before you got together, you fell in love with the precise care he gave to everyone regardless, you pondered what he did for those he cherished; now you knew, only now you see one side of him, the professional side that can’t help but let cracks of adoration slip through his eyes.

vernon bobs his head—probably listening to music through one ear to pass the time.

minghao graces your knuckles and slides past you, leaving his hand behind him, gesturing for you to follow. “meet me in my room, vernon.” with a slight pep in your step, you trail behind him, tapping his outstretched fingertips so he pulls them back to his side.

once you both are at his designated station. he pats the back and monitors you as you position yourself in the chair; once you are settled, he steps closer and you feel yourself be slightly lifted.

minghao washes his hands in the nearby sink—with lukewarm water—as vernon knocks on the door frame to announce his presence. he turns off the faucet with his wrist and side steps to let vernon set down the rack.

“have a good day, yn,” vernon announces, reaching out his bare wrist to you, sandwiched between his gloves and coat. startled that he is already leaving, you stretch out your own wrist and bump him. you meet minghao’s peeping gaze and notice a smile hiding from the outside, adorning his face.

minghao snaps on the gloves and finally notices. “how are your hands still red?” he grumbles.

you laugh. “they did keep me in the bathroom for a while.”

his grumbles rumble his chest. “so stupid. why didn’t they call me in.”

you tilt your head at him, mockingly; he notes your expression with narrowed eyes. he focuses back to the tourniquet. “i know, i know,” he surrenders, shoulders loosening.

placing the rack directly beside you, he feebly grasps your left wrist and faces it down, wiping it with a sterile wipe. your hands still red (how long did they leave you in there?), he tenderly pressed down between your knuckles before settling next to the ring finger.

the senior phlebotomist peeks into your eyes and glances down, taking the needle connected with the tube. he also notices your right hand twitching in anticipation.

quietly, he utters, “do you want to help me out again?” you glimpse back at him and nod with a faint sound.

he grins, positioning the needle. “ready?” he whispers. you inhale sharply and look away, yet your eyes flick back to his concentrated face. “3, 2, 1.”

he inserts the needle. with a quick pulse of pain, you turn back at him.

he doesn’t look at you but acknowledges, “you’re doing great for me.” your cheeks faintly blush at the familiar words he probably didn’t mean to come out that way; this moment surprisingly intimate as the only thing grounding this moment are the patterns of breaths colliding from the two of you.

you peer down to see blood zooming through the into the lavender top. it amazes you—the difference between the two and how quickly your blood can race.

he carefully pulls the needle a bit towards him. he peeks at your expression and you notice it. “are you ready?” you hum in response.

he pushes the lavender top tube towards you, and you clasp it in your right hand; with both of your strength, the vacutainer tube is separated from the drawing tube. he positions it into the rack and grabs the next one; he places it into your hand, and when your hand tightens around it, he pumps the drawing tube into the top. soon, blood begins to flow again into the red-topped tube.

you scan minghao’s face and giggle softly when you notice his little nose scrunch. he huffs air, feeling your gaze directed on him and slightly relaxes. soon after, you both remove the tube and he places it back on the rack. he removes the needle and grabs a cotton ball; with no words spoken, you move your free fingers on top of his and he slides out, plucking the tape to place on top as you swipe your fingers back.

a succinct kiss to the side of your lips reminds you where you are—ironically. you blink rapidly and pout at him. minghao giggles and saunters away, throwing the sharps into the bin.

he walks back, just out of reach, and lowers your chair; he rips off his gloves and tosses them away.

you stand up, stretching out your back. minghao gingerly snatches your right arm to survey your previous sites.

he purses his lips. “no doubt these are going to bruise. hopefully not too bad though.” he meets your gaze, his voice turning into a murmur for you, “tonight, let me know if you are in any pain, okay?”

you nod—you now notice you do it a lot; you wonder if minghao knows he is part of the reason you lose your ability to speak.

you grin. “you’ll be able to tell anyways.”

he gives you a look and steps back, a breathy chuckle rasping from him. “that’s true. but if you want a treat you’re going to have to use your words.”

a/n: a lot of warnings this time…does it turn away readers? should i just include the major warnings? also this might be too personal, but idc it’s sweet and everyone needs a comfort during medical procedures.

and yes everything here did basically happen to me 😭 not fun. except minghao obv that’s how i banged this one out fast please dont expect lol

can’t you tell i’m a stem/healthcare major 😛

tags: @jcxbliss

[limes-sagau]

Mondstadt Sagau Shimegi AU Drabbles

I'm Alive! 

Sorry this took a hot minute to put out, but here's the Mondstadt edition of the Shimeji AU. I did every playable character from Mondstadt, some of them have shorter sections *cough* Mika *cough* simply because they haven't had much screen time in the game or I don't know them well enough. In the future I might do an update post for some of them. Also this should be treated like crack. Now that this is out I can move on to actually writing the First chapter of To Build A Haven which should be up soon. 

ALBEDO:

Curious but not a menace 

He looks at everything your doing with absolute interest 

He wanders around looking at what you're doing and writing what he observes down on a notepad. 

If He’s really interested in something on the page you're on like a photo or text he will snag it to get a closer look (for those who don't know there is a function that allows shimeji to grab items and take them off screen, this can be reversed by simply refreshing). 

He gets a little miffed when you refresh to get the item back in its correct place but he's not upset for long. 

If you leave your computer he will end up messing around and looking up articles on chemistry and physics, he tried searching up alchemy and he just got led down a rabbit hole that he later found out was all fake.

So there's no alchemy in your world, interesting! 

Uhh Oh! He accidentally duplicated! 

He’s immediately on guard once he sees the duplicate

Is that his twin! No wait, the mark on the twins neck is there!

He realizes it is just a full carbon copy of him that just wanders around mindlessly.

He will get a little antsy if you let the duplicates get out of hand in their numbers so make sure to dismiss the duplicates 

He just wants to study this strange world in peace. 

AMBER:

She confused as hell. 

She waves to you whenever you return from getting up from your computer 

She is the opposite of a menace. 

She almost is too helpful 

She sees her knightly duty in this weird in between world to be of help to you. 

If you're easily distracted while working on something like a document she will wave her hands around and try to get your attention so you get back to work. 

And while she is not an expert in grammar she’ll try her best to point out errors in your sentencing. 

When you're not working on something important she has a lot of fun climbing the walls of your screen and jumping off to glide across your screen. 

If you pick her up with your  cursor and toss her she’ll laugh and glide down

Don't shake her though! She’ll get dizzy!

BARBARA: 

Shy babbie!

At first she's kinda cowering in the corner so confused as to what's happening and in awe of your presence. 

Eventually she chills out a bit but she never fully relaxes.

You got spotify going in the background?

Great! This is how Barbara got introduced to (insert music genre here) or (insert artist here) 

She will be scandalized if you play something with profanity, innuendos, or sexual references.

Like full clutching of pearls

Do not play Squidwards Nose for her. She is sweet baby, she doesn't deserve that. 

I'm sorry if some of yall dont like what I'm about to say… but the moment you play one of Taylor Swift's songs she's hooked.

I'm talking like something from Folklore, Evermore, or Midnights.

Her favorites are Clean, Willow, and Snow on the Beach (she does not like the F bomb in that one though)

She does try to give everything you listen to a fair shot even if it might not be her style.

If she likes the song she will sing and dance along to it.

BENNETT: 

He fall over all the time 

So Bennett will be like climbing the side of your screen and will lose his grip and fall. 

If you catch him he'll be so happy.

Hes kinda wandering around your page

He do be trippin (and not in the fun way) 

There was this time where he picked up one of the items on your screen and didn't know how to set it down.

He ran around scared and confused until you refreshed the page. 

If you pick him up and shake him, he will get dizzy. 

DILUC: 

He’s pretty chill 

He will start wandering the internet if you leave him alone with your computer open

Hopefully he doesn't find your fanfics

Who introduced him to Batman?!?!

JUSTICE FOR MONDSTADT!!!

Not that big into the superhero movies but he does really connect with Batman, who would have guessed. 

Show him the Mt. Dew wine or the Peeps Wine from TikTok and the disappointment will be so evident on his face. 

That's not even wine 

If you do bring up some articles on wine brewing and aging techniques he will read them and take some of the methods to possibly use at Dawn Winery. 

DIONA: 

She small she baby 

Normally she’s chill

But If you drink in her presence be prepared to experience the menace of menaces

Every time you leave your computer unattended expect to come back to either your browser being on a local AA group website or on a study showing the impacts of alcohol on the body. 

She aggressively points at what's on screen whenever you come back

She can be reasoned with if you give her a pat.

She can also be pacified by one of those videos of birds meant for cats

She also likes those games made for cats where it's like a bug or ants crawling across the screen and you gotta crush them. 

She tries to jump around the screen but she short, holding her up to catch all the crawlies. 

EULA:

Eula is confused by modern internet slang 

She mainly stands guard in the corner not wanting to get in your way 

She's in the overly respectful gang 

Don't pick her up and shake her she will seek revenge

Likes the cat videos on facebook though

She like the “going no contact with toxic family” type videos on TikTok since she can relate. 

Boomer but she working on it 

FISCHL:

Who let this theater major in the building?

She is by far the most distracting shimeji you can have on your browser 

“The Prinzessin der Verurteilung desires your attention at all hours” 

When your working you literally have to dismiss her if you want to get work done

If you leave her on screen when you leave your computer you will come back to her somehow reading Twilight.

The can of worms has been opened and Fischl's Twilight phase has been unleashed.

She also grows to love shakespeare if you ever have to read one of his works for a class

Holds up skull “Alas poor Yorick”

She does hate The Taming of the Shrew (if you know you know)   

JEAN: 

Like her sister she is also a bit confused 

This internet lingo is so confusing 

This is a facebook mom 

How did she get an account? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

The funny thing is is that she successfully and pretty accurately shuts down alot of bigoted people 

She gain like a cult following of converted beige housewives 

KAEYA:

He isnt distracting like Fischl is but he’s like a cat who wants attention so they climb over your keyboard until you gotta move them and give them pets. 

Menace 

He’s the worst when it comes to fishing your fics out of your files when your away 

You gotta lock them up, time to move everything to your phone… rip storage space. 

You accidentally introduce Kaeya to his new guilty pleasure besides Wine… Horse Girl Movies!!!!

It's bad… It's really bad, his favorites are the movies Spirit and Felicity (yes the American girl movie).

The man misses his horse, why do the favonius cavalry have no horses? the captain of the calvary should have a horse!

He also is somewhat interested in the wine industry from around your world. 

He might give you a list of types he would like you to bring if you ever visit their world. 

KLEE:

Protect this one because she's so smol.

But also keep her from blowing up your documents-

She picks up whatever she wants and will set it down in the wrONg place but if you scold her about it she’ll give you puppy eyes and apologize.

And then do the exact same thing not ten minutes later.

She will wander around wherever she can so do not let her out of your sight. Open tabs, downloads, files, browser history, nothing is safe.

LISA:

similar to albedo in that she is curious about everything.

She likes that she can chill out and read whatever comes on screen

One of the worst if she finds your writing

She will correct your grammar and give suggestions while actively flirtily mocking your work. 

Likes making you flustered in the middle of work 

She requested you make her a playlist on spotify so you sit down and show her a few artists you think she would like 

She adds a bunch of music from (Hayley Kyoko, Muna, Clario, Mxmtoon, and Janelle Monae) 

She listens to it when she's on your computer and you aren't around while she looks through the internet.

MIKA:

I don't know this child!!! 

Literally I know nothing, hopefully he gets more character time in future quests

I'll come add more latter if we are given more 

Spawn in a Len(vocaloid) Shimeji and he’ll be so confused 

Who is this doppelganger! 

MONA:

Girl is going insane learning our world's zodiac system!

You have to dismiss her sometimes because she asks so many questions, some of which you don't know the answer to. 

“What Do You Mean? It's Considered A Pseudoscience!!!” 

She is beyond insulted if you don't believe in astrology.  

If you do believe in astrology she's so excited 

Give her your Natal chart and she’ll be ecstatic

After she learns everything she can about your world's astrology, whenever you boot up your computer she’ll give you your horoscope for the day.   

NOELLE:

She’s so polite! :D

Doesn’t do much climbing, but when she does it’s to clean the cobwebs in the corners of your tabs.

Will remind you to drink water and have stretch breaks every so often and will be very sad if you don't.

You better clear your browser history before she tries to take a broom to it. she doesn’t deserve to see what you look at, you degenerate fifth.

She either likes ICP or studio ghibli soundtracks; there is no inbetween.

RAZOR:

Precious Puppy™

He is very confused by the internet but he’s still very curious . 

Will patiently watch you work and will bite pop-up ads

Starts looking up pictures of wolves cause he's a precious baby and ends up in the furry community. He is very confused. He is very scared. Save him before he learns what an omega is.

ROSARIA: 

She's chill 

She's easily bored so she will on occasion if you are doing work just dip out 

How did she figure out how to dismiss herself?

Most of the time she leaves when your working 

She will stay if there is a church event back on Teyvat that she wants to get out of. 

If you summon Fischl they will both watch Twilight together 

Though Rosaria will leave after the first movie, she doesn’t like any of the other movies. 

She also has a few strong opinions on the way that Stephanie Meyer handled Native Americans in the book. 

SUCROSE: 

very curious and intrigued by the internet and will watch you work from the top of your tab and take notes.

will ask a bunch of questions about and google the answers when you leave.

got into a fight with a redditor about something sciencey you didn’t understand and battled that man for hours.

She won.

She likes watching ted talks and documentaries when you’re on break and wiLL get lost in wikipedia if you let her. Please don’t let her because she is very small and that website is very big. 

VENTI: 

#1 MENACE!!!

He's up about climbing the walls and flying all about the screen. 

If you are trying to get work done good luck 

If you ask he will sit down and be somewhat quiet 

If you listen to music while you work he will either be singing along to it or if the BPM is fast enough singing and dancing along with the music. 

He likes listening to the music you listen to because he can learn what to perform if you ever come to Teyvat.

He at first will be thrown off if you listen to something that's more on the sexual side ( im talking something like Ayesha Erotica, or cupcakKe) but eventually he gets used to it and has a lot of fun distracting you when those types of songs come on. 

Like Kaeya, he is also interested in the wine from your world. 

You have to tell him to narrow down the list he gives you of wines to bring to Teyvat… it was 2 pages long.

[karatekels]

I don’t even like wine but if that was me I’d be pounding that chardonnay(?) like nobody’s business!

If only that was me he handing the wine glass to! 😊

[cera-writes]

Hello! You’re friendly neighbourhood request stalker here, just having another little moment of self inserted love.

Gambit strikes me as someone who would be an absolute nerd. I see him as a secret Star Wars fan or Trekkie. Reader is a mutant who lives in the mansion - maybe a teacher rather than an X-Man? Halloween rolls around, big mansion party and of course reader is big into costumes and cosplay.

Everyone has to dress up and no-one tells anyone about their costume until the big reveal at the party.

She does the Leia. /That/ Princess Leia. And he just spends the whole night with an uncomfortable nerd boner, torn between talking excitedly about the movies and just being his usual flirty lusty self? Maybe even a flustered fanboy? NSFW or SFW, I’ll leave that to you.

I’m gonna go sit in the corner and squee to myself.

A/N: yes yes yes!! I was listening to this song while writing this and I wanna imagine it playing it in the background of the party... 🤣 Pairing: Remy "Gambit" LeBeau x F!Reader Tags: fluff, sweet sexy fluff, making out, sexual innuendos, teasing, flirting, reader gives Remy a constant boner

"Then show me, Scoundrel."

The X-Mansion buzzed with an energy that rivalled Danger Room training. Tonight wasn't about honing mutant abilities, it was about unleashing inner demons – the good kind, fueled by fruity cocktails and booming music. Professor Xavier had thrown a rare costume party, and the place was a kaleidoscope of capes, masks, and questionable fashion choices.

You, however, were channelling a very specific kind of fantasy. Standing by the punch bowl, you were the epitome of Rebel Princess badassery. You'd raided Storm's wardrobe for a flowing white drape, leaving enough strategically placed gaps to make even the stoic Ororo blush. The pièce de résistance, though, was a leather belt Professor X had unearthed from a forgotten box of "mutant memorabilia." It did wonders for accentuating your curves. You'd even fashioned your hair into a pair of space buns, completing the look.

You were scanning the room, feeling a thrill at the envious stares from Rogue and the appreciative nods from Beast, when a familiar drawl sliced through the music.

"Well, well, well. Looks like someone wandered straight outta Jabba's Palace."

Remy Lebeau, ever the charmer, stood before you, his trademark grin plastered across his face. He was a dead ringer for Indiana Jones, complete with a Traveller hat and a leather jacket that wouldn't look out of place on one of the members of his former Thief Guild.

"Just call me Princess," you countered, tilting your head up to meet his gaze. Up close, his eyes sparkled with an amusement that sent a shiver down your spine. Remy was, in fact, all hot and bothered at the mere sight of you. He was fangirling so hard, flustered by the sight of you wearing that costume.

"Princess, huh? Think you can handle a scoundrel like me?" His voice was a low rumble, sending another delicious jolt through you.

You leaned in, close enough for him to feel the warmth of your breath on his ear. "Try me, Gambit."

The way his name rolled off your tongue, laced with a deliberate challenge, had a visible effect on him. A flicker of heat replaced the amusement in his eyes.

"Careful, cher," he murmured, his voice husky. "You might jus' get more than you bargained for."

The music shifted to a slow, seductive melody. Remy held out a hand, the invitation clear. A mischievous grin spread across your face as you bit your bottom lip. "Take the lead, scoundrel."

He took your hand, the touch sending a spark igniting between you. As you glided onto the makeshift dance floor, you couldn't help but brush your hand against his chest, the worn leather cool against your skin. He inhaled sharply, the movement pulling the fabric of his jacket taut across his impressive physique.

You danced with him, slow and close, the playful banter escalating with each stolen glance, each lingering touch. He twirled you, the white drape billowing around you like a cloud, and for a moment, you could almost believe you were dancing with Han Solo under a Tatooine sunset.

When the song ended, Remy leaned in, his breath warm against your cheek. "Let's get outta here, Princess. I know a place with a much better view of the stars."

A shiver snaked down your spine at his suggestion, a delicious mix of excitement and apprehension. The night air was cool, a stark contrast to the heat building between you. Remy's hand slipped around your waist, his touch sending a jolt through you that had nothing to do with his mutant power.

He led you away from the mansion, the party lights fading behind you like dying stars. The silence was thick with unspoken desire, broken only by the soft crunch of gravel beneath your feet. He stopped suddenly, pulling you against a large oak tree, the moonlight filtering through the leaves casting an ethereal glow on his face.

His eyes, usually sparkling with mischief, were now smoldering with a different kind of intensity. A single gloved finger grazed your cheek, sending shivers down your exposed skin. "You know, cher," he murmured, his voice a low caress, "this princess needs a little less…" he trailed off, his hand gliding down your arm, lingering on the exposed sliver of skin above your elbow. His eyes followed the traces of his fingers dancing along your skin, causing goosebumps to form as you bit back a whimper.

Your breath hitched as he slowly unfastened the clasp on the leather belt Professor X had unearthed. It felt symbolic, a shedding of inhibitions, a slow reveal that mirrored the growing tension between you. The white fabric parted further, revealing a hint of smooth skin and the enticing curve of your hip.

He leaned in closer, his lips brushing your ear. "And a scoundrel," he whispered, his voice husky with desire, "needs a little more…" his breath tickled your earlobe as he trailed a finger down the exposed skin of your back, sending a jolt straight to your core. He had you practically squirming.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. "Then show me, scoundrel," you breathed, your voice laced with lust and a newfound confidence. The playful banter had morphed into something far more primal, a delicious urgency hanging in the air.

Remy chuckled, a low rumble in his chest that vibrated through you. He captured your lips in a kiss, a slow burn that quickly escalated into a heated exploration. His touch was electric, sending shivers down your spine as he explored the exposed skin of your arms and back. You responded in kind, your fingers tracing the contours of his chest, relishing the feeling of his worn leather jacket beneath your fingertips. He hitched one of your legs up, pinning you against the tree and him.

The kiss became a desperate battle for dominance, a delicious push and pull that left you breathless. He finally pulled away, his eyes half lidded, a red glow in the moonlight.

The crimson glow in his eyes sent a tremor straight down to your core, a primal counterpoint to the heat that had already taken root in your belly. His touch, a slow, deliberate graze against your exposed skin, was pure, unadulterated fire. The playful princess facade had melted away, replaced by a woman yearning for something raw, something untamed.

"Patience, cher," he murmured against your lips, his voice a husky rasp as he thumbed your bottom lip. The restraint in his tone was a delicious torture, a dam holding back a flood of desire. He trailed a finger down the exposed skin of your neck, sending goosebumps erupting in their wake.

"This night isn't over yet. We can take it slow under the disco ball, or..." He paused, his eyes flickering with a devilish glint, "we can rewrite this lil' fairytale of ours under the moonlight, with a little less fabric and a lot more…" He didn't need to finish the sentence.

The suggestive leer in his eyes spoke volumes.

A/N: Lemme know if ya'll want a part two to this! I really enjoyed writing this one! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[somanyratsinthewalls]

Kinktober Special Part 9

Mo’s Kinktober Special 

The Crew’s Whore (Part 9) (+18)

!!!!!!MINORS DNI!!!!

Summary: You are the former owner of the Grand Line’s most popular brothel. Your powerful fighting abilities got the attention of the captain of the Straw Hat Pirates. He had asked you to join their crew but what would you bring to the team? Your battle skills were hardly comparable to many of the other Straw Hats… but you actually had a great skill. Your years working as a high end escort had prepared you to become the private plaything for this pirate crew. You joined the Straw Hats as their personal sex toy.

Pairing: Eustass Kid x Fem!Reader

WC: 3000 LMAO

TWs: Kind of aggressive sex/degredation? Impact play. Degradation, name calling, angry sex, hate sex, p in v unprotected sex, spit play, edging, creampies, its SO much porn sorry

— — 

“NO I WANT TO KICK HIS ASS BEFORE YOU!” Luffy shouted at the two other captains who stood around him, fuming. 

“IF ANYONE IS KICKING ANYONE’S ASS IT’LL BE ME! I’m stronger than the two of you fuckheads combined!” The absolutely massive redhead decked out in leather and metal was looming over your captain, yelling. 

“You’re both insufferable, we need to develop a plan!” The handsome yet reserved doctor pleaded with the two hotheads to figure out an actual strategy for their mission. 

Somehow, three of the most dangerous pirate crews had been forced into an alliance and to no one’s surprise they couldn’t agree on a damn thing. You were at a table watching the argument unfold with your head in your hands propped up on your elbows. There was a large glass of white wine in front of you. If you had to watch this idiocy, you thought you’d at least try to enjoy it. You were flanked at the table by a giant man in what seemed like a hockey mask and a polar bear in an orange jumpsuit who were also watching the captains’ squabble. 

The bear was the first to speak. 

“I’m starting to think they might all be… stupid…” 

“You fucking think?” You huff out while you take a sip of your wine. You set the glass back down on the table with a sigh. “This alliance is a disaster. Not Luffy’s worst idea by any stretch of the imagination… but still a disaster. I’m going to slam my head against this table as hard as I can. They’ll probably stop fighting long enough to come over and see if I’m okay.” 

“Now that’s a stupid idea.” The masked man stated plainly. 

“Watch out or I’ll tell them you did it and then they’ll have something new to argue about.” You quipped back. 

The blonde man next to you sighed and tipped up the bottom of his mask to insert the top of the bottle of wine you were enjoying into his mouth and take several gulps. 

“I don’t think we should risk concussion just to get them to shut up.” He spoke again and took another glug of wine. He put his mask back down. “As tempting as it may be.”

“Fine.” You finish your glass of wine and cup your hands around your mouth to amplify your voice in the direction of the quarreling captains. “Just pull your dicks out and compare lengths already!” 

The shouting stopped immediately and three heads snapped in your direction. Kid and Law scowled at you. 

“Oh, I don’t think that was…” The polar bear muttered softly. 

“WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME?” Captain Kid shouted as he stormed over to you at such a pace his coat was almost blown off his shoulders. Luffy and Law followed. 

“Why did you need to see my dick, y/n? I’m kinda busy right now, but I’m sure Sanji is around here somewhere!” Luffy grins and laughs at you, oblivious to your innuendo. Law covered his face with his hand and sighed. 

Kid slams his fists on the table before turning his head to your captain. 

“You let your crew talk to people like this, Strawhat? Disgraceful and disgusting.” He spits as he turns back to you. 

You smile up at the hulkingly large, angry man in front of you and bat your eyelashes. 

“Aww don’t bully me, Kid, I’ll cum!” You tease with a fake pout. 

Kid’s eyes blow totally wide and cranes his neck back in shock. Law brings his hand down to his mouth as he hides a snort-laugh. Kid is taken aback only for a moment as his expression turns wild and livid again. 

“You think I’m even remotely interested in a pirate whore? I’ve had hundreds of skanks just like you, and you think you’re special?” Kid says through gritted teeth. 

“She’s actually pretty good, Jaggy! Maybe you should lighten up and take her for awhile tonight! You’re free tonight, aren’t you, y/n?” Luffy beams at you.

“Hmmm I know Franky had some new toys he wanted to try, and Usopp and Robin were interested in watching… but I’m sure they’d have no problem rescheduling if Big Red wanted to take me for a spin.” You smirk as you casually pour yourself another glass of wine, forgetting that it probably had Hockey Mask’s backwash in it. This comment only made Kid’s face turn a deeper red. 

“I am not going to take any of your sloppy seconds, Strawhat!” Kid yelled. 

“Thirds, actually.” Law states in a deadpan manner. You smirk.

You hear the polar bear next to you gasp and bring his paws to his mouth. 

“Captain! Goodness…” He whispered softly. 

Kid seethes further. 

“You’re nothing but a whore, a filthy free use slut. I wouldn’t stick my dick anywhere near you.” Kid remarks, obviously trying to strike a chord. You giggle. You had been a whore your whole life, it was hardly something you felt bad about being called. To you, it was simply a job description. 

“So that’s what gets you going, huh? Calling girls names?” You grin up at the redhead. 

“Careful…” You hear the masked blonde next to you whisper. Kid continues to glare at you. 

“Is that what makes your little cock hard? How cute.” You go on, sipping from your wine glass. “Frankly you smell like scotch and pennies so I won’t be upset with your rejection, Captain Kid.” You emphasize his name sarcastically, still smiling. 

You had obviously struck a nerve. 

“You fucking bitch!” Kid screams at you. 

“Captain, relax…” Hockey Mask pipes up louder from your side… but Kid continues. 

“You have the audacity to call me little? I’m 6 foot 9 and you want to say I’m small? Use your brain here… or is that too hard for a bimbo like you?” He leans in and lowers his voice. 

“I’ve seen men twice your size with cocks they can barely find, so I’m no stranger to a size discrepancy.” You state calmly as you look him up and down. “If you feel like proving me wrong, I’ll be on ship’s watch tonight.” You stand up and saunter back to the Sunny across the dock, leaving the men to continue arguing behind you. 

——

You sit against the mast on the deck of the Sunny, smoking a cigarette and staring up at the starry night sky. You hear the heavy thump of jackboots hitting the deck near the gangplank. You smirk and snuff out your cigarette before standing up. 

“So much for ‘I wouldn’t stick my dick anywhere near you.’” You chuckle as you turn to face exactly who you were expecting. 

Without a word, you’re pushed backwards, now held up with a heavy metal hand pressing your body against the mast, feet dangling below you. 

“You’re a fucking brat. Brats need to be punished.” Kid speaks lowly as he brings his flesh hand to your throat and squeezes the sides gently. 

“I’d like to see you try.” You gasp out with his fingers pressing against your windpipe. 

“Gods you never shut up do you…” Kid says before his smashes his mouth onto yours in a messy, aggressive kiss. Teeth and tongues were clashing immediately. After a few moments, Kid’s grip around your torso loosened. “Your room…” He grunts out against your lips. 

“Down the hall… third door on the left…” You say softly with his hand still around your neck. 

Kid immediately scoops up your tiny body and throws it over his shoulder with a thud. His hand hits your ass and you yelp out. Kid carries you to your room and kicks open the door. You were thrown all the way across the room, your body hitting the bed with a heavy thump.

“You thought you could get away with disrespecting me like that…” Kid says as he strides towards you, shredding his jacket. “You’re in for it now, little girl…” He smiles devilishly as he starts undoing his belt. “Clothes off. Now.” 

You sit up on your elbows. 

“Make me.” You say with a sheepish grin. 

“Fucking bitch… can’t listen to a single thing…” Kid stopped his work on his pants and stomps over to you. He uses his metal hand to rip your dress and panties off your body in one fell swoop. You were now completely exposed, so you closed your legs to hide the arousal that this vicious man was causing you. He looks down at your nude body from the side of the bed for a moment, nipples erect and thighs clenched together. 

“Such a tight little body… too bad I have to ruin it.” Kid says with a laugh. 

“Get on with it then. I’m waiting. I had better offers tonight, you know. I’m not usually one for charity cases.” You say from your reclined position on the bed. 

Kid growls and forces your legs apart, then hovers his face over  yours as he still stands against the bed. He swiftly and forcefully shoves two thick fingers inside of you without warning. He grips the back of your head with his metal hand and forces you to look down at your own sex where his fingers were pumping in and out of you at a fast pace. You cry out in both pain and pleasure. 

“You slut… charity case, huh? Why is this dirty little cunt so wet, then? Just look at it, already drooling on my hand… You get this wet for every pirate that comes your way? So filthy…” He chided you. You squirmed in his hold as he crooked up his fingers and started tapping them into your g-spot. 

“Fuck!” You breath out as you feel your orgasm build quickly with each pull of his fingers and grind of his palm against your clit. The red haired man smiled maniacally down at you as he worked your pussy over. 

“You’re close, huh little girl?” Kid smirked over you as he brought you so close to the edge of release. 

“Yes, fuck, I’m right there…” You huff out and furrow your brow, trying to reach your peak. 

“Good. Stay that way.” Kid says as he removes his hands from you. 

The ache in your neck from being held in place paled in comparison to the need you felt between your legs. You were right on the precipice of your high and it was ripped away from you. 

“What the fuck, Kid!” You shouted up at him in frustration. 

“Oh sweetheart you’re going to have to get used to that. After running your mouth all day, I don’t think you’ll be cumming tonight. Maybe if you really beg for it…” Kid chuckles. 

“I’m not beggin- Oh!” You shriek as you’re picked up and flipped onto your stomach, your bottom half facing the edge of the bed. A cool metal hand grips your waist and pulls you up to your knees on the bed, presenting your ass up in the air. You hear a belt and pants clink to the floor. 

“Enough, slut.” Kid commands as he sinks his cock deep into you without warning.

“Shit!” You cry out and your head whips back. 

“Not so little now, huh?” 

“Holy shit, Kid-“ You try to squeak out as he pulled your hips back to meet his pelvis, forcing his cock to kiss your womb so deeply with each rapid stroke. “S-slow down! Too much…” You shout as tears prick at your eyes. 

“No I don’t think so, whore. You talked a big game earlier, so you’re going to take this big dick now like the slut you are.” Kid punctuated his words with a harsh slap to your ass. He pulls out and flips you quickly onto your back. “Wanna see this pretty face when I break you.” 

Kid enters you again and you moan involuntarily. You were certainly eating your words now… he was far from little. You weren’t about to let him get the best of you yet, though… 

You pull Kid down by his neck into a searing kiss as he plowed into your weeping cunt. He hummed in approval as he leaned down further into you, allowing you to wrap your arms around his shoulders. Distracting him by sticking your tongue down his throat, you use all your might to flip him over you onto the bed, leaving you seated on his cock. You pulled back with a wicked grin on your face. You bounced hard on top of him, making Kid growl out in pleasure. 

“Topped by a girl, Captain Kid? Doesn’t seem like you.” You say, your voice laced with venom as your run your hands up his chest. You squeeze his nipples as you ride his cock. 

“Fuck… you’re lucky you’re so fucking good at that… or else I’d strangle the life out of you right now…” Kid huffs out as he bucks his needy hips up into yours, making a lewd slapping noise against your ass. You grind yourself onto him, feeling yourself so close to that stolen orgasm from before. 

Kid sees your eyes roll back and feels your pussy begin to flutter around him. It was a dead giveaway, your body had betrayed you. 

Kid grips your torso in his metal hand yet again and throws you off his cock and onto your back at the foot of the bed. 

“Fuck! Why!” You cry as you whack your fists against the bed. 

Kid laughs as he teases his cock at your hole from above you. 

“You haven’t properly begged for it yet. I’ll happily let you cum… I just need to hear you, desperate and needy, beg me to let you cum on my cock.”

You groan and buck your hips into the head of his member, desperate to feel him inside of you again and achieve your release. You pussy was throbbing, hurting even, with need and you needed to fix it. Now. 

“Fine… Please just put it back in… Wanna feel you more…” You sigh out. 

“Oh was that a ‘please’? Little brat is learning! Gonna be such a good slut when we’re done here…” Kid says as he slowly slips himself back into your clenching hole. 

Kid himself lets out a groan as he sees the dopey smile that washes over your face when your feel his cock press against that sinful spot inside of you again. He continues pumping in and out of you at a slow, torturous pace. He used his flesh hand to stroke your clit gently as he holds your leg open with his metal hand. You arch your back and moan. 

“Close again, brat? You ready to beg for it? I can feel it, this little pussy needs to cum so bad. I can do it for you… you know how…” Kid teases as he stops rubbing your clit but leaves his hand there, waiting for a response. 

“Shit! Don’t stop please! Please please please, Kid! I don’t fucking care anymore you asshole, I need to cum so bad please! I want to be a good slut for you! I want to cum, please!” You scream with thrashing hips, tears finally falling from your lashes. 

“Hmmm, could be nicer… but fine. Go ahead, whore, cream my cock then.” Kid says as he resumes his ministrations on your clit and picks up the speed of his hips. 

“FUCK!” You shout lewdly as you feel the coil in your abdomen break and you’re finally pushed over that edge. You could barely control your body as it spasmed and gushed all over Kid’s waist. 

“Aww, you’re so cute when you cum.” Kid tells you condescendingly. “Now open wide, slut. What do we say?” He says as he fully leans over you and grips your cheeks together firmly in one hand. 

“Thank… you…” You say weakly as you try to recover from your orgasm, but Kid is still plowing into your sensitive pussy. Kid holds your jaw open and he spits in your mouth. You instinctively swallow. 

“Good fucking girl…” Kid coos down at you as you feel his body tighten and he shoots hot ropes of cum deep inside of you. 

Kid flops on top of you, his head buried in your shoulder. After a few moments of catching your breath, you realized yours was a bit labored. 

“Kid… you’re like 300 pounds… can you maybe get off me before you fall asleep?” You ask while trying to push him off by his shoulders. 

“Huh? Oh. Yeah.” He comes to his senses and pushes himself off of you and rises to his feet. “Mind if I crash here tonight?” He asks. 

“I’d be offended if you didn’t.” You giggle and climb into the sheets that were now thoroughly messed up. “Take that hunk of metal off and stay awhile.” You nod at his arm. 

“Uh, yeah. I guess I could. I just want to make sure the door is locked.” Kid seems to avoid your gaze as he checks your bedroom door lock before removing his metal arm and setting it on the floor next to your bed. He says nothing as he climbs into bed. 

“Sorry I’m about half the cuddler I used to be…” Kid says with a somewhat sad laugh. He wraps his flesh arm around your torso. You turn around to face him. 

“You don’t like people seeing you without it, do you?” You ask as you look into his golden eyes. 

“no. I don’t.” He replies. 

“It’s okay. You’re safe with me.” You nuzzle into Kid’s broad chest and promptly fall asleep. 

——

*****A/N* OKAY BUT DOES THIS NEED A PART 2?!?!!?!? Bitch I got carried AWAY?!!?!?!?!****

[wh0relibrarian]

pretty thing

full fic based on this

just a few headcanons while I start working on a longer piece (I’m back home for the holidays and the idea of Sukuna being from the deep south has me frothing at the mouth)

content ahead: southern sukuna au, black coded!reader, just slight innuendos, reader is in her early 20s and sukuna is in his 30s, not reallyyy canon at all!! so don’t expect accurate information on his past, also, not his true form. don’t hate me!

word count: 913

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Southern!Sukuna who was born and raised in the deep south by a loving, yet distant mother. His father was never in the picture, but it’s okay, because Sukuna quickly learned that it would be his job to take care of his mother and little brother. This was no problem for him.

Southern!Sukuna who has always been a hard worker. Eventually, he’d come to run his own construction company. He’d been working his way up the ladder since he was eighteen. Now in his thirties he believes he should start doing something other than work. Maybe linger around a bar or two, see what “Tinder” is all about.

Southern!Sukuna who goes away on a business trip, never being the one to fly, but it was necessary for an upcoming project he had up north. One thing about Sukuna, he’ll always rep his home state. He’ll always have a shirt with the (insert a southern state) flag on it, if not a matching hat, it’ll be one from Bass Pro Shops. His entire body is tattooed from neck to ankle. He’s been getting them for years and they make his complexion look like silk. He takes incredibly good care of his skin, he has to in his line of work.

Southern!Sukuna who sees you eyeing him from his peripheral vision. You tried to be subtle, looking away as soon as his eyes would meet yours, but he caught you each time. You just couldn’t help yourself, the man was beautiful. You couldn’t help think what on earth a fucking cowboy was doing on this side of the country. Sure, you were going back to your hometown for the winter but there’s no way his reasoning was the same. He was visibly older, and no man with family up north looks that redneck. You had to know more about him, but oh god, you’d never actually approach him. 

Southern!Sukuna who walks up behind you while you wait for your bag to drop from baggage claim, as was he. It startled you, mainly because you swore he was just waving at someone waiting for him outside, you thought he was gone already; so when you feel a light tap on your shoulder, you expect it to be your mother who was supposed to be waiting for you in the parking lot. When you turn around and see a 5 '8 man (short king, but taller than me) looking down at you with wide eyes you can’t help but jump back. He didn’t mean to startle you, he just wanted to know what a pretty thing like you was doing in his neck of the woods. 

“I ain’t mean to scare you, sweetheart,” he reaches out his right hand from his pocket to give you a handshake, you reciprocate of course, still in awe that he’s speaking to you. “Was just wonderin’ what a pretty thing like you was doin’ in my neck of the woods.” His southern drawl was thick, and smooth. The way his words reverberated off his tongue sent heat waves straight to your cunt. 

Southern!Sukuna asks for your number, just so he can check on his favorite city girl throughout the holiday. After a short conversation, he learned that you were really only here for family. No relationship, no notable friendships, simply spending the next four weeks in what seemed like an all expense paid nature getaway. He didn’t want you to be lonely, claiming that he’d check on you every now and then to see how you were doing, maybe take you out at some point if you were up to it. You still couldn’t believe the exchange, he invaded your personal space with the most intoxicating scent— some type of deep musk he clearly used to cover the underlying smell of cigarettes. 

Southern!Sukuna who thought about you for days. You were unlike anything he’d laid eyes on. The first thing that stuck out was your hair. Thick and curly, not falling below your ears, but in the most gorgeous afro he’d ever seen. The ends were pink and he couldn’t help but think you both were meant to be, since his entire head was a light pink shade. Your skin looked so smooth, you smelled like clean laundry and strawberries. Maybe some type of sugary substance too. He pondered on all of these things for days, just aching for you to text him how bored you were, how you wanted to spend some time with him.

Southern!Sukuna who damn near fell out when he got a notification on his phone.

(111) 222-3333

Hey :) it’s the girl you met at the airport. I just realized I never got your name? I never told you mine either, lol, I’m ____.

You anticipated his response, thinking for a second that maybe you said too much. Surely an older guy like him doesn’t want to text like this. But then—

(444) 555-6666

Hey, sweetheart. Such a pretty name. Sorry for not properly introducing myself before, I’m Sukuna.

[copious-zygomaticus]

I just imagined a scenario, so uhh, TAKE THAT *throws Obey Me drabble at you*.

———————————————————————————

Video Killed The Radio Star, Or A Firstborn Son I Guess

Characters: Leviathan x MC

Reader Insert Pronouns: Gender Neutral (Largely Lacks Pronoun Usage, They/Them If Used)

Dynamic: Platonic

Summary: MC shares a hilarious habit they have picked up since being in the exchange program as a guest on Levi’s Otaku FM podcast.

Warnings: Passing Comedic Reference To ‘Sexual Innuendos’; None.

———————————————————————————

It’s a crisp morning in the Devildom, the bats are screeching, the mooning is shining, and there’s a warm cup of Hellroast coffee in your hands. The only thing that is topping that at the moment is your excitement for what is about to take place. You see, Levi had asked you a week ago if you would like to be a guest on his podcast, Otaku FM. You immediately agreed with stars in your eyes. Of course the breath your took before agreeing had the avatar of envy quickly rattling off his usual list of self-deprecating phrases, but after hearing your reassurance and seeing the warm excitement on your face, Levi couldn’t deny your passion for the commitment you just made.

So here you are in a local recording studio, aptly named “Incubus Records And Radioshows”, that Levi rented out to record this next week’s episode of Otaku FM.

The violet-haired demon seems uncharacteristically confident in this moment, his thin fingers dancing over a complicated soundboard and adjusting his headphones. You sit across from him, gazing in fascination and admiration as you observe this silly man when he’s obviously “in the zone”. He looks up at you, the faint pink of embarrassment tinges his face when he notices your attentive gaze.

“I’m ready to start if you are MC.” He says while gluing his eyes to the desk in front of him. You smile wide, ready to start this new experience of yours. With a smile and a nod, you respond quickly, “let’s do it Levi!” His pale fingers clicked a red button as a large “on air” sign above the studio door flashed on, and a mental flip switched as Levi began to say his introduction.

————————————————

Everything has been running so smoothly as the recording went on. The conversation was sweet, playful, and natural. The music shared and discussed was a wonderful dive into Devildom music that you have never heard before. But now it was time for the fan question segment of the show.

“Alright MC, ready for some fan questions?” Levi asks as he lightly scrolls through his D.D.D with Devilgram opened.

You promptly quip back, “lay ‘em on me,” which draws a light laugh from your co-host for the day.

Levi clicks his tongue against his teeth, thinking as he looks through all the questions his audience submitted online before letting out a sound of approval and scootching closer to the edge of his seat to get closer to his mic. “MCCCCC- @Nobelest_Sinner asks “what is a habit you have picked up since being in the exchange program at R.A.D?” Levi looks at you with an expression crossed between genuine curiosity and a mischievous smugness.

You put your hand to your face as you vocal stim in deep thought. So many little things about your daily life and behavior has changed since you were initially iseki-ed into the Devildom, how could you possibly choose just one thing- oh. OH! Comedy gold strikes you quicker than Mammon can pickpocket. You have the perfect thing in mind for this. You slowly lean in really close to the microphone in front of you with the expression of a feline trickster before dropping your voice for comedic effect, “I don’t think ya’ll are ready for what I’m about to tell you.”

Levi’s eyes widen in shock before sharpening into curiosity. “Well now you gotta tell us normie.” You roll your eyes at the normie comment before divulging your newest habit the audience.

“I have started to just make up words and phrases, talking to Asmodeus about them as if they are real ‘human things’. He gets either really hyped up or invested in what I’m saying. Then I tell him that it’s not real and I made it up and his expression just,” you make a wide hand gesture while making a *whooshing* noise with your mouth, “falls and he looks at me like I just killed his firstborn son.” You smile widely at your co-host as you finish your story.

Levi’s jaw is just on the floor. Before you can make a comment on his shocked expression and something about ‘catching flies’, his voice perks up so much you thought his microphone was going to peak. “WAIT- wait wait wait wait. How is this a habit?” He says waving his hands around in confusion.

“Because no matter how many times I keep doing this, Asmodeus falls for it every time and the outcome is exactly the same.”

A silence fills the studio as you and Levi slow-blink at each other, you for comedic purposes and Levi in utter disbelief. The eye contact becomes too much as you both let out raucous laughter. Your head is thrown back and your hand is slamming at the table while Levi has his hands in his hair as his distinct laugh racks his body. The two of you are physically shaking with laughter for at least a minute before you both calm down enough to compose yourself and continue the commentary.

“He does this every time????” Levi asks in comedic disbelief.

“EVERY TIME!!” You say wiping tears of joy from your eyes.

“Why??”

“Why what?”

“Why,” Levi scrambles out jumbled noises, “why do you do this?? Why does he keep falling for it?? Why- whu- no wait, how did you even find this out?”

“Well Asmo and I were randomly talking about -isms, funny sayings and euphemisms and innuendos and whatnot. And I have this, well I guess you can call it a ‘bit’ with my human friends where instead of talking about sexual activities with actual words, we just make up words instead and we all just automatically understand what’s happening. Like- okay the example I used when this happened originally I said something like ‘squingusing my bimbus’ or something stupid like that. But Asmo didn’t question it, he just kinda tilted his head before he got excited about this possible new trend or human discovery he thought he made when I said that. So like, I rolled with it but I eventually told him that I made it up and the look on his face was just- death, despair, devastation.”

Levi makes an attempt to hide his laughter as you speak, failing miserably the more you reveal.

“So I guess you tried to do it again to see if he would make the face again?” Levi asks between chuckles.

“Yeah, that’s exactly what I did. But I expected him to eventually just stop believing what I was saying or become disinterested or have a less intense reaction. But he never did! Just kept on being shocked!” Out of the corner of your eye, you see a large LED timer draw closer to the end of your scheduled studio time and wrap up your thoughts with Levi about the whole situation before saying goodbye to the listeners and hearing the familiar sound of Leviathan’s outro.

————————————————

For the next few weeks after your guest appearance on Otaku FM was aired, all you could hear about was sound bites of you saying “like I killed his firstborn son” and laughter. For a minute, you were afraid that people would tease Asmo about the whole situation, but in reality no one was mean-spirited about it and he was getting a lot of satisfaction from the buzz his name was creating around R.A.D. So when you brought up the idea of possibly guest-starring on Levi’s podcast again in the future, he said yes without hesitation.

———————————————————————————

Well there’s a random thing I thought of in the library bathroom and typed when I was supposed to be studying for a huge anatomy test. Enjoy dorks!

[sofasoap]

Interlude: Here comes the insertion specialist

Pairing: König x  f!Reader ( OC aka Mini MacTavish )

Summary: Don't give König ANY alcohol.

Warning: M Rated. INNUENDO, INNUENDO!  Alcohol consumption ( be responsible people), swearing, sexual theme. Slight crack fic. English isn’t my first language, there will be a lot of grammatical and tense mistake.

A/N: This is part of the world what I dubbed “ Mini MacTavish Universe”. Inspired by  @saltofmercury ’s “ “The Favorite MacTavish”. Praise her for lending me her character and universe * starry eye *. Go read her brilliant stories!

 “masterlist” for more stories to this Mini MacTavish expanded verse.

You know König doesn't drink alcohol. No big deal. Each to their own. Maybe he just doesn't like the taste of it. What you didn't realise is he has ZERO tolerance to alcohol.

Kortac was in UK again after a successful joint operation with the SAS. To your surprise, Johnny rang you and ask if you want to travel to  Credenhill  to join the party. "That's rare, usually I have to beg you to let me tag along!"

"... The team was asking for you." " They are asking for their FAVOURITE MacTavish you mean?"

" Jesus Christ, do you want to come or not?"

" Just give me the date and I'll check my shift timetable."

You were secretly excited you will get to see König again after the chance meeting which turned into, according to Emma, a coffee date. Was that a date? You don't know. Do you like him? Maybe. For the moment you are just enjoying your time texting back and forth. ( or mainly him sending pictures of what his current little carving projects are or interesting things he notice while on mission. It's quite adorable really. )

Dropping off your luggage at the airbnb near the barrack, you make your way towards the bar frequently attended by the team. Walking in, loud noises hits you instantly. The pub was packed full of people, it's a popular spot for the SAS soldiers since the barrack isn't far off. You look around trying to find your brother. Soon enough you spot Ghost's tall figure with Johnny and Gaz playing a round of snooker. You ran up to your brother and tackled him from behind.

"Mini! you made it!" Gaz exclaimed. "What's a gathering without me livening up the atmosphere?" You high fived each other. Johnny turned around and gave you a big hug.

" How was the train ride here?" "Busy. Lucky I booked my ticket as soon as you told me about the gathering." Pointing at Ghost, " Am I allow to greet him? or is the no Ghosting rule still apply?" "What are you planning." he look at you deadpan expression. " Nothing. I am just being friendly." " Why does this sound familiar." You turned and smiled at Ghost, " Hey Simon. "

" ... Hey." " Mini." " Hey Uncle Price!" You left Johnny's embrace and went in for a hug with Price. Why does Ghost look slightly disappointed?

"Who else is here?"

Price pointed towards the table near the bar. "Some of the KorTac members are over there, the rest are scattered around." "OHh I see new people I haven't met." " MINI" Johnny and Simon chimed in same time with warning tone.

" Yes Sir, I know Sir, I will behave Sir.” You gave the boys your best salute and wondered towards the bar to order a beer. While standing at the bar, you see König, per usual, hiding at the edge of the room, trying to make himself invisible with a glass of what looks like a coke in his hand, listening to his teammate's conversation. Doing your best you try to wave to him, he spotted you, his eyes lit up and timidly waved back. Horangi saw the interaction, elbowed König and teased him a little. König duck his head down, blushing. You felt a set of eyes on you, turning around you can see Ghost looking at your direction, eyes narrowed. What's his problem?

Soon you find yourself mixing with the ladies from both teams, gossiping away. They sure have fascinating stories to tell, tales of war to suitors or love interests they meet during their missions.

".... and would you believe, their pick up line was, "“I’ve lost my teddy bear! Can I sleep with you instead?”" You laughed, " Oh gosh, that sounded like me from last time!" " Look, if it comes from you, it sounds cute, but coming from that person??" Nova made a face. " Mini, come on, got any stories to tell? Any strange pick up lines?" " Sadly no. All the boys that wants to approach me been scared off by Johnny." " Pfft, for a casanova like him, it's bit contradicting. no offense Mini."

" None taken Kleo. I know my brother is a manwhore. A gentlemanly manwhore." Everyone burst out laughing. Out of corner of your eyes, you saw König swaying a bit in his seat. No one else seems to notice. His drink nearly finish. Maybe he is tired? All of sudden, he stood up, startling the people around him, and proceed to swagger towards you, full of purpose, you will be lying if it doesn't stir the heat up a little bit down there. Cocking an eyebrow, you turned your chair towards him. Waiting for his next move. Stopping right in front of you, he leans down, hands on both side of you on the table, trapping you. Gosh, he does have beautiful blue eyes, the piercing blue eyes.... wait, is that bit of alcohol you can smell from his breath?

"Hello Schatz." He purred. "Do you know why they call me insertion specialist? because I am VERY GOOD at ramming... " his eyes flickers down towards his crotch, " THINGS... especially into people." The whole pub just went dead silent. Your jaw dropped. Is he trying to flirt with you? Hearing a loud clank noise, your eyes darts towards the snooker table, Johnny had dropped his cue, eyes wide with shock, while Ghost looks like he was about to murder certain someone with veins popping out of his forehead. Gaz was laughing his head off, smacking Price's back, making him choke. " WHO THE FUCK ADDED RUM INTO HIS COKE!!!!"

Just think of the way König walks at the character intro screen. mmmmm.

lack of sleep does this to you. Oops.