#insecure ivar
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axelsagewrites · 9 months ago
Note
Greetings!
I hope you don't mind me sliding in your ask box! I want to request Ivar x fem!reader, who suffers from a condition named vaginismus.
Vaginismus is a condition where the vagina cramps so hardly, that penetration is very painful. It can get treated by mental therapy and slowly getting comfortable with sex. It's mostly caused by traumatic events.
I seek for some wholesomeness combined with Ivar. You don't have to focus on any smut part if you'll feel uncomfortable, sole comfort would be enough!
Feel free to decline! Remember to drink enough and have a lovely day! ❤️
Ivar the Boneless*Does It Hurt?
Pairing: Ivar x f!reader
Word count: 1830
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Warnings: insecurities, mentions of painful sex, mentions of shitty exes, make out, fingering, f!receiving oral, p in v sex, Ivar wanting to get revenge on the crappy ex, smut 18+
Masterlist Here
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Being with Ivar was the best decisions you’d ever made there was only one small issue. You'd never actually *been* with him. its not that you hadn’t had sex before, but it always just seemed to hurt. You’d tried in the past to just push through the pain, usually at the guy’s request, but you were done being in constant pain for someone else’s benefit. Which is partially why the rumours about Ivars’s bedroom mishap didn’t bother you.
You knew it was something he was insecure about and you’d assured him countless times it didn’t bother you. so, one night when you were making out sitting in his lap and you felt something hard pressing into you. You were a bit shocked to say the least. It must have all been nerves but now you were the one who was nervous. It’s not like you didn’t want to do it with Ivar you were just scared.
Ivar’s hand slowly trailed up your leg, stroking over your thigh, till he was squeezing your hip as you moaned into the kiss. You had been with Ivar for a while now, but you had never been *with* him. your hands crept down his shoulders till you were squeezing his muscular arms. Despite the taunts some people liked to make you could feel something hard grinding against your leg.
He broke the kiss but only to trail some down your neck, going between nipping and kissing the sensitive skin. It felt like bliss. His hands slowly began to tug at your skirts, pulling them up so he could feel the soft flesh of your thighs but when you felt him try push them apart you couldn’t help but clamp up, your body going rigid.
Ivar paused his movements, pulling away to face you after a moment, “Is everything okay my love?” he asked. There was a mix of emotions behind his eyes; insecurity, lust but most presently concern.
“I-I,” you began to stutter making Ivar move his hand from your leg to cup your jaw.
He stroked his thumb gently across your skin, “Have you never…?” he asked, voice trailing off.
You took a deep breath before shaking your head, “I have its just,” you said as you sat up in bed, Ivar moving to sit beside you are holding your hand, “It hurts whenever I have before,”
“Hurts how?”
You sighed as you decided you may as well just tell him. the last guy you had told just rolled his eyes and left to find someone else for that night, but Ivar waited patiently as you explained, “Whenever I’ve tried to have sex it just kind of hurts? I don’t know how to explain it. It’s not that I don’t want you,” you said, squeezing his hand, “it just feels like it won’t go in and when it does it just- “
“Hurts?” he said cutting off your rambles, “it’s okay love. We don’t have to- “
“But I want too, I swear I do- “
“I believe you,” he cut you off, moving to hold your face gently. Ivar placed a soft kiss to your lips instantly calming you down, “Is it just when things are going in?” he asked, and you nodded. His eyes moved to scan your frame as his hand moved to rest on your thigh, “We could always try something else,” he said, eyes moving to meet yours with a glint behind them.
You felt your cheeks begin to heat up, “I know men don’t actually like that stuff- “
“What idiot told you that?”
“This guy I used to- “you paused when you saw Ivars’s jaw tense, “It was a long time ago but some of the things he said just kind of stuck with me I guess,”
“Like what?”
You took a deep breath before spilling out, “That guys don’t like that kind of stuff and it was my problem not his. How it was my job to get him off and not the other way around and if I was broken then there were other ways to do that- “
Ivar took your hands tightly in his, making you pause, “No. it is not a job or a chore or anything else. You are not broken. You are just different,” he said, moving one of his hands to rest over your heart, “We both are. That’s what you used to tell me,” he said, his voice low. “You were there for me when no one else was. I want to be there for you. whether we have sex or not and whatever sex is to us. We take it at our pace, okay?”
“Okay,” you whispered back, half on the verge of crying as Ivars other hand moved to cup your cheek, pulling you in for a gentle kiss.
Well, it was supposed to be gentle, but you found your lips moving faster and soon you’d moved to straddle his lap as his hands gently squeezed your hips. You could feel his bulge through his trousers and you grinded against it softly making him groan into your mouth.
“Lay on your back,” he mumbled against your lips. you went to speak but he cut you off with a kiss, “trust me,” something about his eyes staring into yours entranced you and soon you were laying down as his lips travelled down your jaw and neck.
You were still in your dress, but his hands soon pulled it up till it was around your waist as he kissed down your collarbones. You felt your body tensed as Ivars’s hand inched closer to your core. “We’ll go slow, okay? tell me if you want me to stop,” he whispered. You nodded quickly and sucked in your breath when you felt his fingers push against your clit.
He moved them in slow circles as his lips sucked at the sensitive skin of your neck. Little moans escaped your lips, and you heard Ivar chuckle when your hips began to buck. You whined when he pulled his fingers away but watched with fixed eyes as he shuffled down your body till his hot breath fanned over your cunt.
Ivar began to kiss your inner thighs, leading a trail up to your core. When his tongue licked up your cunt you couldn’t help but gasp. It soon turned into a moan however when his mouth wrapped around your clit. Your hand quickly found his hair, tugging on it gently which only seemed to spur his movements on as he groaned against your cunt sending shivers down your spine.
You could feel a strange new sensation growing in your stomach. “Please,” you murmured, “Don’t stop,” you began to beg, and Ivar had no intensions of stopping anytime soon. he moved down till you could feel his tongue poking at your hole, easing in so he could gently fuck you with his tongue while his nose rubbed against your clit.
The sensation had you gripping his hair tightly, your hips bucking inadvertently as you grinded gently on his face. Ivar locked his arms around your thighs, stopping you from wiggling away as he continued his merciless assault on your cunt till, he felt your thighs squeezing around his head.
A stream of profanity and his name fell from your lips as you felt yourself crash over the wall. Ivar didn’t move however till he was sure you’d ridden out your peak. When he did pull back his eyes were dark as he moved to kiss your lips hard as you moaned into the kiss.
His fingers trailed up your slit before gently pushing the tip of his finger in, “Tell me if it hurts,” he whispered as he pushed further in, curling his finger inside of you making you moan. it hurt a little but not enough to want to stop. You might scream if he stopped as he began to slowly fuck you with one finger before slowly adding another.
His thumb moved to rub circles over your clit, and you could feel another peak quickly approaching, “Ivar?” you mumbled against his lips.
“Yes love?” he asked, pulling away with panting breath.
“I want you to fuck me,” you said, taking him by surprise as his eyes went wide.
He quickly tried to cover up his reaction, “Are you sure?”
“Please don’t make me beg,” you pouted but it just sparked a joy behind his eyes.
“Maybe I’d like it if you did,” he said, pulling his fingers out which made you whine until you saw him pushing his trousers down, releasing his painfully hard cock.
He moved till his tip was lined with your hole when he paused, “Tell me if- “
“I will, I promise,” you said, grabbing his face and making him look you in the eyes, “I trust you,”
His eyes went soft for a moment before he nodded and slowly began to push in. he stopped when he saw you hissing as you adjusted to his size but kept going at your encouragement. “Fuck,” he gasped as he pushed the last bit in, “You feel so good,”
You waited a moment, adjusting to the size before moving your hips. Ivar quickly got the hint and began to set a gentle pace. That was till your legs moved to wrap around his waist and Ivar began fucking you faster, his head resting in the crook of your neck as he moaned your praises in your ear.
His hand moved between your bodies, finding your clit as he rubbed fast circles into your abused nerves. Your hands gripped his shoulders tightly, nails digging into his skin which only made it harder for him not to cum right then and there. But he did his best to hold off. You however felt your second orgasm quickly approaching and soon your cunt began to squeeze around his cock as you hit your peak, mumbling his name over and over as you did.
The sight of it, the feeling, it was too much for Ivar as he gripped onto the bed tightly as he pumped his final few thrusts before spilling inside you. Ivar collapsed on top of you in a panting heap. His head was resting on your chest as you rubbed his back gently. “Did I hurt you?” he mumbled through half closed eyes.
“No Ivar, it was perfect,”
Ivar lifted his head with a soft smile, “No you were perfect,” he moved to lay next to you, pulling his shirt over his head to use to clean you up before you settled into bed to cuddle. It was a perfect silence. Well for a few moments, “Who was he?”
“Who was who?”
“The man you were seeing before,” Ivar said making you turn to look at him.
Your eyes scanned his face, but he could hide his emotions when he wanted to, “Why?” you asked sceptically.
“No reason. Just think we should have a little talk is all,”
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pinkykats-place · 6 months ago
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Ivar (Vikings) x Reader Insert Fics
Tumblr Recommendations
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Disclaimers!
None of the stories linked are mine.
Mostly female reader inserts.
Some contain mature content.
GIFs are not mine.
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Finnish polka
Ivar the Boneless x fem!Reader
SUMMARY: After helping one of the northern Jarls, the Lothbrok brothers attend a celebratory feast. There, they're faced with a tradition of warriors catching flower crowns that belong to young women. How surprised Ivar is when you almost shove your crown into his hands.
Jealous Games
Ivar x floki’s daughter!Reader
Summary: One day, your father enters your room, unveiling that your parents want you to marry Ubbe. Though, the past years you grew feeling for another man: Ivar. You never told anyone about your true feelings for the man but now that Ubbe is supposed to be your husband, you feel utterly broken down. Refusing the offer, you leave the scene, only to discover a life changing secret...
She’s Real
Ivar x fem!Reader
Summary: Family dinners never go as expected.
Whispers of Love
Summary: Reader is new in Kattegat and catches the attention of a certain Ragnarsson.
Some Good Advice
Ivar x older!fem!reader
Voyeur - Part 1
Ivar the Boneless x fem!Reader
Summary: You catch Ivar watching you bathing.
Early Mornings
Ivar x female!Reader
Summary: You find yourself in a delightful situation after waking up, but are suddenly interrupted by an unexpected visitor...
Shy
Ivar x f!reader
Summary: As a child reader had a crush on ivar and followed him around. He ends up saying mean things about her to his brothers, not realizing she can hear him. He ends up realizing he has feelings for her but she ends up moving away. Years later, she returns, and she's extremely pretty. Ivars hoping to confess how he feels, but his brothers have also noticed how pretty she's become.
Ivar the Boneless x Reader
Summary: Ivar is having dreams of you, of the goddess he sees on walking his nights. You prove him things, show him things and he can’t handle your ways or the fact they are just dreams. Until one day battle proves him wrong.
army of ivarrsons
ivar the boneless x fem!reader
summary : Ivar has always thought of himself to be a failure of a man, his legs did not work like an normal man, his prick did not work. The only thing he was good for was being a prince and a warrior though he wasn’t all that good at being even those in his eyes, but then along came a woman. One so pure, so beautiful she looked to be a goddess amongst men. And with those sweet words she spoke “I will bare you many sons ivar the boneless.”
In Love with a Monster
Ivar x Princess!reader
Summary: Being in an arranged marriage, you told your husband was a monster.
Does it hurt? Bleeding every month
Ivar x fem!wife!Reader
Summary: you find out your husband, who had two partners before you was clueless when it came to women
Affection
Ivar x fem!slave!reader
Summary: Reader helps Ivar prove that Margrethe was wrong about him.
Redemption
Ivar × reader
Truth or Dare
Warnings: ivar being insecure, drinking, brief mentions of sex, kissing
Rumors aren’t Always True
Ivar x Slave!Reader
Summary: When rumors start to spread that Ivar can’t satisfy a woman, you decide to put his mind and ease and show him that it’s not true
Right Beside You
Ivar x thrall!Reader
Series: Imagine being ivar’s slave
Summary: Your first journey to England. Ivar took you with him to avange the dead of his father with the great heathen army. But you are afraid, the feelings he putted there maked you that ... afraid to lose him. What if he never came back? What if you never would feel his touch again?
SOLD! (TO IVAR)
IMAGINE BEING SOLD TO IVAR BY YOUR DESPERATE MOTHER.
I Can Be Your Biggest Fan
Ivar the Boneless x slave!Reader
Summary: You are a slave and have been most of your life but because of this you got the chance to meet the most handsome man you’d ever seen...cripple or not.
Proving Worth
Ivar x fem!Reader
A Gift From Thor
Ivar the Boneless x healer!Reader
Description: You are a Viking healer, who travels the world to learn all healing techniques. After an unfortunate tumble from a ship you get lost at sea. As Valhalla becomes more certain you pray to Thor for love and boy does he deliver.
The Wanderer - Part 1
Ivar x fem!shield-maiden!Reader
Valkyrie - Part 2
Ivar x fem!Reader
Summary: You meet Ivar again after a battle.
Fate - Part 3
Ivar x wife!Reader
Summary: wedding night
Healing Hands
2 Parts
Summary: your mom was ivar’s healer but after she dies it’s up to you to help ivar
A Proposal
4 Part Series
Summary: Ivar and reader share a moment, but are separated by miscommunication
Series: Pain
Ivar x Reader
Summary: You’re the only one Ivar will allow to see him when he’s in pain thanks to his legs. But when you tell him that he’s your best friend, you stir up a new kind of pain in his heart.
The Girl Ivar Loves
[Incomplete Series]
Summary: When you lose your parents and other arrangements fall through, you find yourself living with the Ragnarssons in their cabin. Much to the chagrin of Ivar who complains about you at every opportunity he gets.
The Aftermath of Intimacy
Ivar The Boneless x gn!reader
Summary: The shared moments after your intimate hours always were your favorite. His aftercare and love embraced you in Ivar's vulnerability. You loved it so much.
Take Care of Him
modern!ivar x reader
summary: heahmund takes a vacation from his physical therapy job. except he doesn’t exactly tell his most impatient patient.
@ablueeyesangel ’s Masterlist
@akamaiden ’s Ivar Masterlist
@ijustwant2write ’s Masterlist
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starogeorgina · 1 year ago
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Redemption
Warning: Swearing, oral sex
Pairing: Ivar × reader
1.02
“Once we lure them into position, I’ll give you the signal, then you’ll light the bastards up—Ivar stop,” you laugh, feeling his hands roam over your body. “I’m trying to help you plan a war.”
“I’m aware.”
“It’s difficult to concentrate when you do that.”
“Do what?” Ivar smirks, kissing your neck. He continues to squeeze at your breasts over your dress. His two favourite things were fucking and fighting, so talking battle strategies was hard for im. Ivar begins kissing your neck, leaving purple marks as a way of reminding others that you are his. “I’m not doing anything you don’t like.”
You turn your head and kiss him. Your lips linger as your mind begins to race with a thousand thoughts. It hadn’t been long since you lost your baby, and you hadn’t been intimate since.
Ivar rubs his finger along your cheek. “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” you say, kissing him again. “I want you, Ivar. I want you to do more things I like.”
He tilts his head to the side and gives you a small smile. Ivar smooths your hair out of your face, and the gaze in his eyes somehow brought you comfort; it was as if he was looking deep into your soul and knew what you were thinking. “I will not rush you, Drifa,” he says. “But I know something we can do, something we both like.”
Seeing the mischievous look on his face, you raise your brows and ask, “What's that?”
Ivar smirks in amusement as the sword in your hand rests at the top of his neck. He says, “You fight dirty; I’ve taught you well.”
You toss your sword to the side, pick up two axes, and hand one to Ivar. He told you that non-Viking armies didn’t see women as much of a threat; he wanted you to prove them all wrong. Ivar took great pride in coaching you in sword fighting, throwing spears, and aiming your bow and arrow.
“Perhaps one of my brothers will spar with you later.”
You pull a face and say, “Ubbe or Hvitserk. Last time I sparred with Sigurd, your mother was mad at me for hurting him.”
With a boyish smile on his face, Ivar says, “You knocked his front tooth out; it was a wonderful thing to witness.”
You’d always hated Sigurd and the way he treated Ivar and his mother. You think back to that day and how you and Sigurd got into a fight because he kept insulting your dead parents. At first, his brothers laughed until the first blood was drawn. You feel awful thinking about Hvitserk trying to separate you and accidentally backhanding him.
Lost in thought, you don’t notice Ivar talking to you until he places his hand on your waist. “What are you thinking about?"”
“The time I burst Hvitserk lip.”
“Hvitserk adores you.” Ivar throws his axe, which hits the mark on the tree. “So do Ubbe and Bjorn. As did my mother.” Ivar takes the other axe from your hand and repeats the action, hitting the mark perfectly again. “Sigurd is scared of you because he is weak and knows he cannot compete.”
“Have I told you recently how much I love you?”
Ivar blushes. “No, but I never tire of hearing it.”
You kiss him on the cheek before going to retrieve the axes so you can continue throwing them. You continue training until the sun begins to disappear behind the clouds and the sky quickly becomes dark as the weather changes quickly.
The rainfall is heavy, causing the mud to splash up onto Ivar’s face and neck while he dragged his body along the ground as you headed home. Seeing the pain in Ivar’s face, you suggest taking shelter from the rain underneath a large tree. You sink down beside Ivar and lean your head on his shoulder.
You sit in silence until Ivar lets out a deep breath and asks, “Why doesn’t it bother you?”
“What?”
“Being married to a cripple.”
You roll your eyes. Every time Ivar felt self-consciousness, he would question why anyone loved him. His insecurity became worse when his brother told him; nobody loved him, and everyone felt sorry for him. “I’ve told you to stop listening to Sigurd.”
“It’s true, though; I am a cripple. And my weaknesses are your weaknesses.”
“Your legs aren’t a weakness, Ivar. They are your greatest strength. People will always underestimate a cripple.”
Ivar opens his mouth to argue, but you cut him off with a kiss. You brush your nose against his as you straddle his lap, careful not to put too much pressure on him. The feral look in Ivar’s eyes sparks something inside you; all you wanted was for him to devour you. “You are Ivar the boneless, the strongest and most violent man I’ve ever met.”
Ivar grips your jaw with a devilish glint in his eyes. “You think I’m violent?”
“I think you're the most bloodthirsty Viking to ever exist.”
“Stand up.”
Following his order, you stand up. Seeing Ivar lower his trousers so his cock can spring free, you pull up the bottom of your dress. He grins, clasping his hands around your thighs. Ivar brings you in closer so he can put his mouth on your aching core. You let out a moan when you fell his warm tongue swipe over your folds before turning his attention to your clit.
“Mmmm.. Ivar, just like that,” you encouraged, “please don’t stop!”
He sucks and flicks his tongue on your abused clit, speeding up his actions until you cum, legs shaking around his head. When you come down from your high, you kneel down and twirl your tongue over the head of Ivar’s hard cock before taking him full into your mouth. He uses one hand to grip your hair, while Ivar uses the other to pinch your nipple, as Drool dribbles down your chin while you bob your head. Tears roll down your cheeks as you gag, feeling his cock start to jolt in your mouth. Ivar tightens his grip as spurts of hot cum shoot down your throat.
He grunts, “Swallow all of it like a good wife.”
Sitting up, you wipe the saliva away with the back of your hand. Ivar shuffles to put his cock back into his trousers. You kiss the palm of Ivar’s hand when he cups your face. “We should get back; it’s almost time for supper, and we both need to bathe.”
You take another mouthful of ale as your eyes jump between the brothers sitting around the table. There was a weird atmosphere, and you were trying to figure out why. Ubbe and Ivar feasted, laughed, and drank ale while Hvitserk looked nervous. He kept glancing at Sigurd, who had been smirking most of the night. When you returned, you had bathed and changed into a clean dress, while Ivar remained in the same mud-covered clothes. The only reason his hands were free from dirt was because he washed your back and hair.
Sigurd suddenly burst out laughing, gaining the attention of his brothers. “Do you all remember when Margrethe said Ivar couldn’t pleasure a woman? Well, today I found out that’s not true.”
You and Ivar look at each other and ask, “What?”
“Me and Hvitserk were coming back from a hunt and saw-”
“I did not look,” Hvitserk says quickly, not letting his brother finish his sentence. You patted the back of his hand; although he was a menace at times, Hvitserk was respectful and would never deliberately watch such a thing.
“Enough,” Ubbe says. “We will hear no more of this.”
Sigurd ignores his elder brother and continues talking. “I’m just sharing that I’m happy for Ivar. At least it can finally put the rumors of Drifa carrying another man’s child to rest.”
“It was you who told others that!”
He shrugs. “I stand corrected; I can tell others I know Ivar gets hard because I caught you with his dick in your mouth.”
Ubbe and Hvitserk stare at him, unimpressed.
Tears of embarrassment swell in your eyes, but you refuse to let them fall. You glance at your husband to see his reaction to his brother's taunting. Ivar peels the last bit of meat from the bones of his meal off with his teeth, then tosses the bare animal bone onto the table. “What kind of man talks about his brother's wife in that way?”
The amused smile drops from Sigurd’s face, “I’m—”
“I swear to the gods that if I ever hear you talk about my beautiful Drifa in such a way again, brother, you’ll leave me no other choice but to kill you.”
The room falls silent as Ivar’s threat lingers in the air. Sigurd looks to his brothers, but when neither of them say anything, he storms off, leaving the rest of you to enjoy the remainder of your night.
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milkb0nny · 7 months ago
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Hello. I saw the open request box and I didn’t know if you would be open to write something for Bjorn? Is he a character that you like? Do you have a favourite character from Series Vikings? I read a lot of your work and it’s so beautiful. Would you be able to write something about and obsessed Bjorn with reader and maybe some smuttyness ✨✨✨Mybe she joins him on the first trip to the Mediterranean 😍😍Andhe can see her from the ship across speaking to Floki and Helga ?
loyal dishonesty
Björn x neutral!reader
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Björn: A man obsessing over you
Summary: Björn, who is known to be an adventurous and lustful lover, finally caught an endless desire: you. Though, how is he to portray his passion and admiration towards you?
Note: Thank you for your request! Björn is an... okay character. I rewatched the series so many times and with every rewatch I'm able to like him more. Still, he's far away from being a favorite. 😭 I love Ivar and Floki, as well as Helga and Torvi. Also - the smüt might be a little... Well, I usually don't write smüt. 🫠
Warnings: a little smüt, lustful behavior
Word Count: -
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♡....━━━━━━━........ 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 ........━━━━━━━....♡
⚜️ When Björn fell for you, his attention became laser-focused on you. The first spark emerged just like with other women, though with you he felt he couldn't reach you. You were different - hard to get yet playful. He's known for his ambition and drive, but when he's in love, that intensity is redirected towards his beloved. His mind desired you, his body burned for your touch and his eyes were always glued on your very beautiful features. Every decision he made was influenced by thoughts of you.
⚜️ He kindly offered you drinks, a lovely chat or a sweet tease to make him seem interesting. Your personality was not only captivating but making him obsessive. Björn's love manifested as a fierce protectiveness - and an unhealthy obsession with you. He was almost obsessive about keeping you safe, especially on the way to the Mediterranean Sea. He secretly checked on you - your health, your daily activities and your bonds with others.
⚜️ Although his history with cheating is well known, he's also a jealous person. He despised to view you with other men or women who glared at you with lust. Björn felt entitled to you as if he had owned the right to you. No one should come too close, no one should touch your precious body without his permission. Though you weren't his, he still kept barging in whenever a person insisted perverted intentions.
⚜️ Björn is not one who opens up. He prefers to be viewed as the strong provider, a fearless man and a good soldier. However everyone is vulnerable. Björn found himself in a difficult position: he wanted to be vulnerable to show you his honest love though he didn't want to lose his identity as a powerful man. Throughout your time together you watched the thick wall break into pieces little by little. You learned about his flaws, his emotional struggles and especially about his insufferable self esteem. Deep inside he was more insecure than you ever had anticipated. Nevertheless you loved him for sharing that with you which was another reason to never let you go. You knew things no one else was supposed to know. In order to keep his secrets hidden, he needed to make you his. His only.
⚜️ As Björn's love deepens, so does his desperation to hold onto it. Emotions crept up his mind he had never encountered before with anyone else. A strange feeling, robbing his thoughts at night. He fears losing you, his passion, more than anything else and is willing to go to extreme lengths to keep you by his side, even if it means sacrificing his own happiness or ambitions. You did not only entertain him, you showed him how true love looked like. The feeling of your warmth was unique and too worthy to ever let go of. Your embrace motivated him to fight for his ambitions but you also scared him. You could not only pass away during battle, but sicknesses also haunt people's lives. A constant bitter taste - one that made him into a loyal husband.
⚜️ His care showed through intimate times as well. Whenever you begged him for nightly adventures, he was more than ready to fulfill your desires. However, in the back of his foggy mind, he would always make sure you're comfortable. Scaring you or hurting you during such vulnerable actions frightened him. Even if his thrusts were rough and heavy, his hands kept softly petting your shoulders.
⚜️ His obsession with you came so far, that he never engages in positions where he can't see your face. Oh, how he adores your flushed red face, your closed eyes and the messy hair of yours. Björn was convinced he would miss out on your heavenly being if the two of you would not see each other during the deed.
⚜️ Björn is a master of seduction, and he loves to show his affection through physical intimacy. Whatever he lays his eyes on isn't safe from his flirtatious attempts. Especially with you he loved to take his time. Playfulness was a form of embracing his love: he would tease you, give you soft pecks and would tickle you only to hear you laugh. From tender caresses to steamy embraces, every touch is filled with desire and longing. He'll tease and flirt shamelessly, always keeping you on your toes with his witty banter and mischievous grin. After all, you were the one for him.
♡....━━━━━━━........ 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 ........━━━━━━━....♡
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miss-madness67 · 1 year ago
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At Dawn
Ivar The Boneless
Prompt: Homesickness and soft Ivar.
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For the first three months, you cry at night. There is no way to explain it other than the homesickness you feel crawling up your insides. You don’t want to be here, you never asked to be here. Your father had an unfinished debt with King Ragnar, so he gave him the only thing of value he had; you. At first, you were meant to be a thrall in the service of the rulers, but the youngest prince took a liking to you, and considering that your father used to be an Earl, you were deemed acceptable to become his wife. And thus, you married.
“Wife of mine, what troubles you tonight?” Ivar’s soft voice breaks your line of thought. His rough hand trails from your elbow to your shoulder before he turns you around in bed and pulls you to him. You used to wake up with a damp pillow every morning, Ivar would notice every single time. He never mentioned it, but he also never tried to set you free.
Despite the odd beginnings, you’ve come to love your husband, and you like to believe the feeling is mutual. “Same as always, my love.”
He considers your words; you know he doesn’t like when you feel down thinking about the past. “This is your home now, you can have anything you want, you know that, right?”
You do. “I’m just thinking about my family and what they did.” Because as much as Ivar boughtyou, your family sold you.
“You don’t need them anymore, if a family is what you desire…” he hesitates, “I will do my best to give it to you, wife.” You both know the rumor of his incapability is completely mistaken. Still, you’re also aware that Ivar is scared of having children out of fear they will resemble him in disability. The fact that he’s willing to try speaks about his love.
“Truly?” His blue eyes are full of sincerity and insecurity. You want to crush everything that makes him uncertain, like he quells your nightmares.
The first three months you cry at night, but the next three decades you smile at dawn.
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bg3daydream · 7 months ago
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Wine and Blood (Astarion x Tav)
Astarion x named male Tav (half-drow fighter called Ivar) Fanfiction
Summary: One-shot narrating the first night Astarion and Ivar spend together after the tieflings party. Ivar is already crushing on Astarion and I wan to think there're some feelings flourishing in Astarion too.
Notes and tags: +18. There's blood drinking, sex (thigh riding and oral) and mentions of briefly dissociating during it but it's resolved. Also English not being my first language.
Words: 5k
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Ivar smiled as he looked around the camp and the people celebrating. The party had been going for hours now and most people were already in different stages of drunkenness. Everyone seemed to be happy for once, having fun, which was good…
Well… Everyone but one, it seemed.
Astarion was standing outside his tent, looking around with a disdain better suited for a spoiled cat, grimacing as he took sips from a bottle of wine.
Ivar rolled his eyes at the sight but couldn't help his smile as he approached Astarion.
“Having fun I see…” He joked and Astarion scoffed.
“Not as much as you seemed to be having with Shadowheart before…”
Ivar should have seen it coming. Astarion was fond of teasing him about what he called his “silly crush on Shadowheart,” and Ivar wondered what would the vampire think if he knew that the silly flutters in his belly when he looked at him were even worse.
He'd tried to ignore it first, then fight it. It made no sense, it was ridiculous. No matter how attractive Astarion could be, he could also be just as mean, Ivar knew those feelings were a bad idea, he knew he shouldn't trust him the way he did.. Yet there he was.
“We were just talking and drinking,” he finally said. “Having fun, like everyone…besides you, it seems.”
“Oh, but I do want to have fun!” Astarion huffed. “But all I got is drunk tieflings and vinegar for wine.”
He gestured around dramatically with the bottle and Ivar reached to take it from his hand, taking a sip of the wine. It was good, Astarion had no reason to complain, although Ivar had a theory that he was not going to share and maybe get a grumpier vampire.
“So, what would you do for fun, then?” Ivar asked. “Drain a couple of tieflings? Kill Gale perhaps?”
“Oh, darling, nothing so dramatic.” Astarion dismissed his words with a theatrical wave of his hand, smirking and looking him up and down. “I just want to have sex.”
Ivar almost choked on the wine. “Oh.”
“With you, I mean,” Astarion elaborated when Ivar didn't say anything. “Hells, you really can be dense.”
“Really?” Ivar gave him a doubtful look… If this was a joke he didn't want to fall for it and make a fool out of himself.
“I'm starting to reconsider, I think I deserve someone with a working brain…”
Ivar huffed. “With you, one never knows when you're serious and when you're laughing at us.”
“Darling, I can do both at the same time.” Astarion chuckled before smirking, giving him a look that made something twirl in Ivar’s belly. “So… Do you want to?”
Did he want it? Yes. Was it a good idea? No. Was he already nodding? Yes.
Astarion’s smirk went bigger, and he seemed so smug and pleased with himself that Ivar was almost tempted to say no. Almost.
“Then I'll see you later, when everyone else is a bit more…mellow. We'll find each other in the woods.”
Astarion waved towards the direction and Ivar nodded, wordlessly, before walking away, wondering if that conversation had really happened.
*
Ivar looked at the blanket he'd spread over the ground, the bottle of wine, and the glasses… he was already regretting it, why had he done that, Astarion was going to laugh at him…
But if he came back carrying everything after Karlach helped him sneak the bottle of wine from Shadowhear’s good stash, after admitting what he wanted it for, she was going to laugh in his face.
He decided to stop being an insecure idiot and go find Astarion. He didn't need to go far to see him, leaning against a tree. He was only wearing his trousers and Ivar tried not to stare at his body.
“There you are…” Astarion smiled as he approached. “I've been waiting… waiting since the moment I set eyes on you. Waiting to have you.”
His speech sounded rehearsed… And odd, considering the first time he saw him, Astarion tried to threaten him with a dagger, without much success. Ivar decided not to comment on that, though, let Astarion have his moment.
“You don't have me,” he said instead, as if that could cover how much he wanted to brush his hands over Astarion’s exposed skin, or the fact that he'd gotten them wine and all.
It didn't seem to sound convincing and Astarion arched an eyebrow, smirking.
“But you're here… And I don't think you want to talk.” Honestly? Ivar didn't think he would mind having a real talk with Astarion, but he kept going before he could say anything. “No. I think that you want to be known. To be tasted…”
The speech was still sounding rehearsed and it was making Ivar feel a bit odd. Besides, he was not the only one there.
“And what do you want?”
Astarion blinked at him, almost as if taken aback, his smile faltering for a second, but then he was smiling again. “Pleasure. Our… collective ecstasy. Isn't that what you want?”
Those words were still so odd and rehearsed, but maybe if he commented on it, Astarion would get upset, so Ivar decided not to say anything about it even if it was making him feel a bit weird.
“I, uh… Yeah but… Just…come here a moment,” he gestured towards where he’d left the blanket and the wine. He'd gone through all the trouble to get it ready and he was going to use it, even if at risk of Astarion laughing at him for that.
Astarion wasn't moving, his smile was gone and he was frowning. “What…where…what are you getting me into now.” He sighed disapprovingly.
“Nothing.” Ivar rolled his eyes. “Come on.”
He began walking and Astarion thankfully seemed to decide to indulge him, following him, and soon the blanket and everything else were on sight.
“Oh… You got us a picnic, how… Sweet.” Astarion’s words were as teasing as his smile.
“Don't you dare to laugh…” Ivar muttered, self-conscious, while he sat down on the blanket.
Astarion laughed anyway, but it didn't sound malicious. “Come on, darling… I think it's cute.”
Ivar scoffed, but he was glad Astarion wasn't openly making fun of the whole thing. As the vampire sat down too, Ivar took the wine and filled a glass, which he passed to Astarion.
Astarion took a sip and grimaced. “And you went to all this trouble to still bring me vinegar. Delightful.”
“This,” Ivar began, taking the glass from Astarion’s hand and sipping the rich wine. “It's probably one of our best bottles. I think it tastes like that for you because you're a vampire. For the blood thing and all that…” He wondered if he was being too blunt. He hoped not.
“Oh…oh…” Astarion scoffed. He seemed upset and Ivar regretted his words already. “Yes, wonderful. Just another thing that was taken away from me.”
“I'm sorry…” Ivar murmured and Astarion just scoffed again, giving him a smile that felt closer to a snarl.
“So, you knew that and still decided to bring me wine I couldn't drink when all I was asking for was sex. You really know how to woo someone.”
“It was just a theory.” Ivar really hoped he hadn't fucked this up already. “And I had something else in mind if it was true.”
He reached for a knife that he'd placed next to the blanket, and Astarion seemed alarmed for a second. Ivar wondered if he thought he might hurt him… The idea tasted bitter in his mouth.
With Astarion watching him carefully, Ivar held the pad of this thumb to the blade, carefully slicing it just enough to draw blood, ignoring the sting.
Astarion seemed confused and surprised, but it was nothing compared to how he looked when Ivar reached to smear the blood from his thumb over the vampire's pretty, plush lips.
In the second that it took for Astarion to react, a million panicking thoughts went through Ivar’s mind. Why had he done that, it was too odd, Astarion was going to think he was a weirdo or worse…
Then Astarion was licking the blood from his thumb before sucking it into his mouth, smiling, and the sight and feeling had warmth pooling in Ivar’s belly.
“Now…that's what I call a nice drink,” Astarion said before giving his thumb another lick, holding Ivar’s hand in place.
He sucked on his thumb again before brushing his lips to Ivar’s forearm. He expected a bite, he'd let Astarion feed from his forearm once after a fight, but instead now Astarion just kissed it, smirking as he looked at Ivar.
Then he let go of his arm and reached to place his hand at the back of Ivar’s neck, pulling him close while leaning to kiss his lips.
Ivar’d be embarrassed to admit that he almost melted at it, hands brushing over Astarion’s cold and soft skin, pulling him closer as they kissed.
Without breaking the kiss, Astarion pushed him to lie on his back, leaning over him, and Ivar felt him smile against his lips at the sound he let out when he pressed his body to his.
Ivar shuddered when he felt Astarion’s cold hand under his shirt, caressing over his stomach and up to his chest, pulling his shirt up as he went.
Ivar broke the kiss just enough to take off his shirt completely, discarding it to the side and letting Astarion push him to the ground again.
He was a bit embarrassed by the sound he let out at the feeling of Astarion’s chest brushing against his own as they kissed, but the thought was soon gone as Astarion moved from his lips to kiss down his throat, his collarbone, his chest…
He almost whined when Astarion stopped, leaning back.
“Let me drink,” he all but purred, eying his neck, his sharp nails caressing it as if there could be any doubt about where he wanted to drink from. “This,” he said as he held his hand, before sucking his thumb. “Was but a tease, darling…”
Ivar considered it… He’d let Astarion drink from him already, even if not from his neck, besides he was the one who had, indeed, teased him by bleeding his thumb, and he was giving him such a look…
It seemed he was thinking it too long for Astarion’s patience, he was already leaning to his neck, and Ivar was about to give him an earful about drinking without waiting for him to say yes, but instead of his fangs, he felt Astarion’s tongue licking a strip up his neck, making him gasp.
“Okay…” He gave in. “But… Ask nicely first.” If Astarion could turn him into a shuddering, embarrassingly needing mess, then at the very least he could try to tease him a bit.
“Oh?” Astarion pulled back to look at him with an arched brow, seeming amused. “And how would that be? Oh, strong warrior, let me drink your delectable blood?”
Astarion really had a gift for making beautiful words sound like he was laughing at you. It was admirable, really.
“I was thinking more about you saying please.” Ivar grinned, enjoying the look of disbelief on Astarion's face, his dignified huff. “Come on…” He stretched his neck, showing off the place where Astarion’s tongue was a minute ago, while his hands caressed his cold chest.
Astarion rolled his eyes with another huff but decided to indulge him. “Please?”
Ivar grinned at the victory, petty or not, choosing to ignore Astarion’s mocking tone. “Go ahead.”
“Cheeky little pup…” Astarion muttered as he buried his face into his neck.
Ivar felt the sharp pain of his fangs, then the blood flowing, but the pain was soon numbed… Yet, he could still feel every lick of Astarion’s tongue, every suck of his lips.
Astarion pressed against him even more as he eagerly drank, letting one of his hands drag down his chest, nails scratching ever so slightly, pressing him to the ground, while his other hand rested on his head, grabbing his hair, holding him in place.
The sounds that Astarion soon began making combined with the feeling of his tongue and lips, his body pressed to him, his hands… It was all going straight to Ivar’s dick and he writhed under Astarion, hips thrusting up helplessly.
When his growing cock brushed against Astarion's leg as he moved, Ivar let out a muffled moan, holding tighter to Astarion.
Astarion noticed and he tore himself from Ivar’s neck to look at him with a smirk. He didn't say anything, though, didn't tease him, instead he shifted to place his thigh between Ivar’s, rubbing it purposely against his groin, his devilish smirk growing at Ivar’s reaction, his moan as he hit back against Astarion’s thigh.
Ivar cursed as Astarion kept the motion of his thigh, tilting his head back, and Astarion took advantage of that to dive back into his neck.
Astarion went back to drinking, but Ivar was sure some of the sucks and licks with which he was lavishing his neck weren't strictly necessary to drink his blood… Not that he'd complain.
Ivar held to Astarion’s shoulder with one hand, the other flying to the back of the vampire's head, burying his fingers in his hair, which earned him an approving sound from Astarion, muffled against his neck.
Ivar didn't care about his own needy noises, grinding against Astarion’s thigh while the vampire responded in kind, rubbing against him.
It was too much, a lick of Astarion’s tongue had him shuddering, just at the same time his thigh pressed and rubbed against his straining dick in a particularly nice way, and before he even knew it, Ivar was coming, fingers digging into Astarion’s shoulder, pulling him even closer, which he let him do, burying his face even more into his bleeding neck.
Ivar panted, torn between enjoying the way he was feeling or trying to regain some semblance of control of himself.
Astarion was still drinking from his neck, but it was slower this time, lazy licks alternated with gentle kisses across his neck, and it felt so good Ivar was tempted to just lie there, eyes closed, and let Astarion do as he wished, but finally, the embarrassment won.
“I, uh…I don't… Don't usually…” He didn't usually what? Come inside his pants? Embarrassingly soon? Let vampires drink from his neck? Come while they drank his blood? Yeah, all of that.
Another lick and then Astarion pulled back from his neck to look at him. His smile was teasing but not mean.
“Darling… I really don't care.”
His lips were covered with Ivar’s blood, dripping down his chin, and it had smeared his cheeks and even nose too from rubbing his face against Ivar’s neck and bleeding wound.
“You're a mess…” Ivar murmured while he reached to train a droplet of blood on Astarion’s cheek. “How do you manage to look good even like this?”
Astarion’s smile grew. “Oh, darling… I always look good,” he purred. “I have to say, blood wasn't looking bad on you either today when you killed those goblins.”
Was Astarion paying him a compliment? Ivar felt like teasing him a bit for it but it wasn't worth the risk of Astarion maybe never doing it again.
He just smiled, cupping Astarion’s cheek, and the vampire leaned down to kiss him.
Ivar didn't care that Astarion’s lips were smeared with his blood. He was a fighter, he didn't mind blood anymore, and he had tasted his own already, from bleeding noses to broken lips. It was much, much better to taste it from Astarion’s lips.
Ivar made himself pull away from the kiss just so he could roll over, carefully dragging Astarion with him so now he was the one on his back with Ivar pressed against him.
Astarion seemed surprised by the sudden movement, his body going rigid, brows furrowing, and so Ivar pulled back to take a good look at him, in case he didn't like the change of position.
“Okay?”
He felt Astarion’s body relaxing under his again and the vampire nodded, sultry smile back on his face.
Before Ivar could ask him if he was sure, Astarion sat up to lick a droplet of blood that had dripped from Ivar’s neck down to his chest, trailing it with his tongue before burying his face in his neck to drink his blood again.
Ivar shuddered with a gasp. This was not what he had in mind, he was supposed to be the one making Astarion moan and feel good, beyond letting him drink his blood.
Ivar pushed Astarion back to the ground, looking at him to try and make sure he was okay with it, and when the vampire looked at him with a smirk and an arched brow, he leaned down, pressing his body to his again.
“Don't get greedy,” he whispered teasingly before kissing Astarion’s lips.
Ivar began sliding down Astarion’s body, hands caressing smooth, cold skin as he went, placing kisses on that chiseled body, over his chest, down his stomach…
“You don't have to…” Astarion murmured.
“I want to,” Ivar replied, looking up at Astarion’s face. “If it's okay. If you want to?” There was a beat before Astarion nodded. “Yeah?” Ivar asked again.
Another nod. “Yeah.”
Ivar went back to placing kisses over Astarion’s stomach, lips brushing down to his belly, kissing until he reached the waistband of his trousers.
“Can I keep going?” He asked, kissing Astarion’s lower belly when he whispered a yes. Another kiss and he pulled back to look at Astarion, hooking his fingers on the waistband of his trousers and underwear. “Can I?”
Astarion nodded, his eyes dark crimson as he looked at Ivar. “Yeah.” He lifted his hips to help Ivar peel both his trousers and underwear off him.
Ivar got situated between Astarion’s legs again. He kissed his thigh, then his hipbone, until he reached his cock, licking the length of it slowly.
Astarion’s shuddered moan as his hips hit up had Ivar smiling. He gripped the base of Astarion’s shaft with one hand, placing the other on his thigh, and he slid his mouth down Astarions cock, which rewarded him with another moan.
He looked up at Astarion’s face as he sucked on his tip and the sight of the vampire, eyes closed, brows furrowed in pleasure, mouth open with another strangled moan, almost made Ivar moan himself.
The noises that Astarion was making as Ivar kept going, mouth sliding up and down his cock, were music to his ears and, in all honesty, to his ego.
One of Astarion’s hands was clawing at the blanket under them and Ivar reached up to hold it, unsure of how Astarion might react and if he might just slap it away.
He didn't, instead, he held it, intertwining their fingers and squeezing his hand.
Suddenly, though, Astarion’s hand went limp on his. The way his hips were moving and even the sounds he was making felt… Different. Ivar couldn't explain why, but something didn't feel right.
He pulled back to look at Astarion, who at first didn't seem to notice but then gave him a sultry smile… It was so different from his face of pleasure before, though…
"Are you okay?" Ivar asked and Astarion frowned.
"Yeah."
"Really?" Ivar didn't want to be pushy or ruin the mood, but still, something didn't feel right.
"Yes… I just got… A bit distracted. Didn't mean to…" Astarion frowned, lips pursed, but soon he was wearing his devilish smile again. "I'm sorry, darling," he purred, sliding down his hand towards Ivar’s groin, but he stopped it.
The fact that Astarion'd gotten distracted while he sucked his cock was a bit discouraging, but Ivar was most worried about how something felt off.
"Don't be, just… We can stop." He wouldn't mind and he hoped Astarion could see it. "It's okay, I don't mind."
Astarion opened his mouth as if to say something but closed it. His sultry smile was gone, frown on his face, and Ivar was about to move back when he spoke.
“No… No, I don't want you to stop.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. Keep going.” Astarion’s hand went back to holding Ivar’s and his hips wiggled ever so slightly. “Please.”
“Okay…okay, just…tell me if I do something you don't like…” It was awkward to tell him that, but it was better than the alternative… Better safe than sorry.
“Wasn't you…” Astarion muttered but he didn't elaborate and Ivar decided not to press the matter more for now.
With his mind set on making sure Astarion was enjoying this, Ivar lowered his mouth to his cock again, eyes on Astarion’s face. He was slow at first, a bit tentative even, waiting to notice his reaction to everything.
As Ivar’s lips slid down his cock, Astarion hummed, eyes closed, his hand holding Ivar’s tighter when he dragged his lips back up, sucking, making him moan in a way that, thankfully, sounded good and real again.
Astarion’s free hand moved to Ivar’s head, seemingly of his own accord, but he moved it away when he realized it. Ivar reached for it, though, taking it to place it on his head again.
He was okay with it, let Astarion show him what he wanted from him, and he moaned on his cock when Astarions’ fingers grabbed his hair roughly.
Ivar kept going, letting Astarion guide him and take from him what he pleased, enjoying every sound that the vampire let out, every soft moan, quiet whimper, and grunt, until Astarion reached his climax with a strangled cry.
Astarion’s back arched up, hand holding Ivar’s head in place but he didn't mind, just swallowed his release as he kept licking and sucking until Astarion let go of his head.
Ivar kissed Astarion’s hip, then his thigh before moving back to look at him. He'd covered his eyes with his arm, the corner of his mouth lifting into a small smile, and he looked damn beautiful as always.
Ivar moved from between Astarion’s thighs to lie on his side next to him. He reached out a hand towards the vampire but stopped, even if it felt a bit foolish to be uncertain about touching him after he just sucked his cock.
“Was it… Okay?” Ivar asked even if he felt insecure and kind of stupid doing so. “Did you like it?”
Astarion moved his arm from his face, turning to face Ivar too. “Yeah…yeah, I actually enjoyed that.”
“You sound surprised…were you expecting me to be bad at it?” Ivar didn't know if he found it funny or embarrassing.
Astarion rolled his eyes at him but didn't say anything.
Ivar sat up, reaching to take a bottle of water he'd brought, besides the wine, taking a big gulp of it.
“What? No drink for me?” Astarion purred, looking at his neck.
“Gluttony doesn't look good on you,” Ivar joked and Astarion smirked.
“Darling, I thought we had agreed everything looks good on me.”
Ivar rolled his eyes again but his smile betrayed him. He looked around the blanket until he spotted the cloth he'd also brought and he picked it up, pouring some water from the bottle on it.
“What are you doing?” Astarion asked.
“Cleaning the mess we are.” Ivar reached the cloth towards Astarion’s face but didn't touch him. “If that's okay.”
Astarion nodded and so Ivar carefully dabbed at the dried blood on his face with the wet cloth, dragging it over his lips and chin, washing him clean, and Astarion let him do it with his eyes closed.
He opened them when Ivar stopped to refold the towel and pour water on it again. This time he reached towards Astarion’s groin, again stopping before touching him, waiting until Astarion nodded.
When he did, Ivar gently brushed the wet cloth over Astarion’s hips and thighs, his belly, his cock, cleaning him of cum and also blood that had dripped from Ivar’s neck.
Astarion let him do it in silence, looking at him intently, in a way Ivar couldn't quite place but that felt… Good.
Once he finished with Astarion, Ivar moved back to remove his own pants and take off his underwear, ruined from when he'd come before… He really hoped he could wash them without anybody seeing him.
Pouring more water on the cloth, he hastily washed his own mess. When he reached to press the cloth to the wound on his neck, though, Astarion stopped him with a hand on his wrist.
“I can take care of that, darling…” He moved to bury his face in Ivar’s neck.
“You're getting so greedy…” Ivar tried to sound teasing but the feeling of Astarion’s lips on his neck had him shuddering, eyes closed.
“Oh, but you like it…” Astarion said against his neck, licking over the wound. It had stopped bleeding but Astarion sucked on it as if trying to draw more blood. “I saw it.”
Ivar said nothing, sure that nothing dignified would make it past his lips, and he felt Astarion chuckling.
He looked up from his neck to kiss his lips again. Ivar wasn't expecting it and he hummed into the kiss, pleased, arms reaching to hold Astarion, who pushed him to lie down on his back on the ground again, with him between his open legs.
Another deep kiss, and then Astarion moved back to his neck, making the almost closed wound bleed again, just slightly.
Ivar fell asleep like that, with Astarion lying on top of him, face buried in his neck, lazily tonguing at the reopened wound.
*
The sunrise didn't wake Ivar, who was sure never had slept like that, almost like he was knocked out. It was Astarion’s body moving away from him as the vampire got up that woke him.
His eyelids didn't seem to want to cooperate and he had a bad headache but Ivar finally managed to open his eyes. When he tried to sit up on his forearms though the world spinned before focusing on Astarion.
He was facing the sun, body open to it, eyes closed, face relaxed… Ivar wondered if he'd ever get used to how beautiful he was.
There was a scar on his back, big, intricate, almost like some sort of scar tattoo, and Ivar wondered what the hells could it be. It looked odd on Astarion. He wasn't sure how the vampire might react if he asked him about it, though.
Ivar tried to get up but not only did the world spin again, it felt almost as if his head was going to fall off his shoulders. He felt so lightheaded and weak…
Just how much blood had he let Astarion drink from him? He should be more careful next time, or at least bring some scrolls of healing or restoration, maybe something to eat at the very least…
Would there be a next time, though? Was this just a post-party one-night thing for Astarion? Ivar didn't know… He didn't want it to be just that, but he didn't know what Astarion might think or how to bring it up to him.
He groaned, trying to get up again, giving up and falling back down, covering his face with his arm. Astarion heard him and he turned around to face him, arching an eyebrow.
“I definitely let you drink too much…” Ivar complained.
“Oh, way to be dramatic, dear.” Astarion dismissed him with a wave of his hand. “Is a fighter not used to a bit of blood loss? ”
Astarion reached to take his clothes, picking up Ivar’s trousers too and throwing them to his face
“Come on, it's past time we left.”
Ivar grumbled a complaint but sat up, squeezing his eyes tight and trying to put on his trousers blindly.
Astarion was already done with his own by the time Ivar was finished, and for a second Ivar considered reaching for the vampire's hand as he tried to get up, but decided against it.
He managed to get up, even if a bit wobbling, the world spinning again, head pounding.
His eyes landed on Astarion, standing closer than he'd realized, beautiful even looking like he was about to laugh at him.
“Fuck, I want to kiss you,” Ivar hadn't meant to say it aloud and he felt like face-palming.
“Oh… Do you, now?” Astarion was looking way too pleased with himself and Ivar wanted to kiss that smug look off his face.
“Yeah… Can I?” Ivar wondered if he should be embarrassed at being acting like that… he wasn't.
“Mmh…” Astarion made a show of thinking it over. “I’ll allow it,” he finally said in a way better suited for a spoiled cat allowing pets.
Leaning down, Ivar kissed Astarion’s lips, in a softer kiss than the ones they had shared last night, deepening it when he felt Astarion’s hands on his waist, holding to him. He could get used to this. He didn't want to think this might be the last time he kissed him.
Astarion was the first to pull back but his hands lingered on Ivar’s waist like a soft, cold touch.
“You know…” Astarion began, looking at Ivar in a way he couldn't quite place. “This was… Not what I had in mind last night. But it was nice. Really nice.”
Ivar wondered if he was smiling like a fool and found that he didn't care if he was.
“Now…” Astarion pulled back and waved a hand toward the blanket and everything else. “You better rush to pick all this up or by the time you get to the camp, hungover tieflings will have eaten all breakfast. See you later, darling.”
With that, Astarion began walking towards the camp.
It’d have been nice of him to offer to help him pick up everything and clean up, maybe offer to bring him some breakfast…but Ivar hadn't expected it.
He watched Astarion until he disappeared among the trees before he began picking up the wine and water, blanket, and everything else.
He wondered if and when he'd get to share another night with Astarion… He wondered too just how foolish his smile looked as he thought of it, but found he didn't care.
Now he just needed to find the right moment to ask Astarion.
*
NA:
Excuse Ivar sometimes, he just got charisma 8. But he's a sweetheart.
Thanks for taking the time to read this.
If you liked it, please let me know in a comment, and as always, reblogs are more than welcome.
This scene lived in my head and I had to write it, even if I know not many people would be interested in my own tavs. Thanks if you gave it a chance.
If you want to read more about Astarion and Ivar (or any other of my tavs) or have requests for Astarion fanfics, I'm all pointy ears.
Excuse my English, it’s not my first language.
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lokifromvalhalla · 2 years ago
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MASTERLIST
╔═════*.·:·.☽✧    ✦    ✧☾.·:·.*═════╗
⟐VIKINGS
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IVAR THE BONELESS
⟐ I'm here for you | Ivar The Boneless x Reader
Genre: Comfort / Angst Words: ± 1 800 Everyone can feel the weight of the last events on their shoulders. Mainly Ivar, but he won't be able to handle it if (y/n)'s also angry at him.
⟐ A poisoned mind | Ivar The Boneless x Reader
Genre: Comfort / Fluff Words: ± 2 000 (Y/n) can't help but to wonder whether Ivar really trusts them, what they don't know it's that everything is just a matter of insecurity.
⟐ I miss you (1/2) | Ivar The Boneless x Reader
Genre: Comfort / Fluff / Light angst Words: ± 4 400 You had always been Ivar's right hand, but something happened, so now you are in the hands of Prince Oleg. Oleg, however, brings you a little gift after one of his trips.
⟐ I miss you (2/2) | Ivar The Boneless x Reader
Genre: Comfort / Fluff / Light angst Words: ± 3 000 "Elhaz wasn’t my name, in the first place. It was for me what ‘Boneless’ is for Ivar, a title, one that was given to me by Ivar since, in his words, I’m his protection, the one who makes everything feel sacred, the safety. His safety. Eventually, it was all that really mattered, and turned into what some people call me. Does he remember it?"
⟐ Clean your mind | Ivar The Boneless x Male Reader | Ivar The Boneless x amab Reader
Genre: Smut / Comfort Words: ± 3 100 Kind of content: Fingering / Anal sex / Some praising You help Ivar clean his mind and let go of all the stress that bothers him lately.
⟐ Be patient | Ivar The Boneless x Male Reader | Ivar The Boneless x amab Reader
Genre: Smut Mordern! AU Words: ± 3 100 Kind of content: Toys / Anal sex / Edging Ivar needs to be taught a lesson.
⟐ Time and humility | Ivar The Boneless x Reader
Genre: Comfort / Fluff Words: ± 1 600 A curse leaded to Ivar being turned into a half-cat person, which he doesn't really knows how to deal with nor does his partner, but they figure it out despite how stubborn Ivar can be.
⟐ What's the fun in that? | Ivar The Boneless x Reader
Genre: Comfort / Light angst Words: ± 3 800 Ivar is captured by Oleg. (Y/n), the Rus army commander, is both interested and interesting.
⟐ A nice punishment | Ivar The Boneless x [gender neutral] Reader
Genre: Smut / Comfort Words: ± 2 100 Kind of content: Oral fixation / Nipple play Playing with his chest does get Ivar to shut up for a little. It feels way better than it should.
╚═════*.·:·.☽✧    ✦    ✧☾.·:·.*═════╝
You may find some of my works in AO3 with light alterations since I post there using an OC instead of reader. Except for that, my works aren't published anywhere else nor here under a different user. Let me know if you see something off.
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world0fmadness · 2 months ago
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I WANT LOVE
ivar “ zephyrous ” enger x reader
♡ general dating headcanons for ivar!
୨୧ still have a lot of other requests in the works! just trying very hard to not burn myself out and taking it slowly which seems to be working <3
♡ requested by anon | view my metal masterlists here and here
reading music recommendations: i want love by akira yamaoka - burial by ghost bath
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♡ i can see ivar being quite selfless when in a relationship with you!
୨୧ he just wants you to always be really happy with him, he can’t ever bare the thought of you being unhappy or unsatisfied with him…
♡ he is always looking to please you and he seems like quite a bit of a goofball at times so whenever you’re feeling a little down? he’s always cracking jokes, even making jokes at his own expense and making strange faces if they make you perk up a bit and laugh
୨୧ you know that one jacket he had? the purple, kind of vapourware windbreaker one?
♡ yeah, he lets you wear that all the time! even when it’s not that cold out and you haven’t asked him for it, he just likes seeing you wear his things! even if his clothes aren’t particularly oversized on you at all
୨୧ because let’s be honest, i think we all know he isn’t the biggest or most built dude…
♡ as handsome and beautiful as this man is, we have all seen his arms…
୨୧ the man is a twig! this is not me body shaming him, not at all, i’m just making an observation that he was very string bean built and didn’t have the most muscles at all
♡ this is something i can see him being kind of insecure about when being in a relationship with you!
୨୧ ivar kind of really wishes he was able to pick you bridal style or give you piggy backs when you’re drunk or your feet hurt…
♡ but unfortunately he just kind of can’t, no matter how skinny you are too, he just doesn’t have the arm muscles to hold up the weight of another human
୨୧ but that’s not to say he hadn’t tried! most likely when he’s half drunk or something, he’s came up to you from behind and attempted to pick you up bridal style to carry you off into a room or something but literally right after slipping his arms under your knees and pulling you up, he’s tumbling right over you and crashing into the ground, taking you down with him as you both let out drunken giggles
“ fuck… oh, fuck… ‘m sorry, are you okay? fucking dropped you… ” ( you’re both just giggling so hard about what just happened, he can barely even get the words out in between his laughing )
♡ so yes, when he’s a little drunk he’s much less insecure about it but when sober? that’s when you might have to love up on him quite a bit and tell you it’s really not a big deal at all and you love as he is
୨୧ honestly, from some pictures i’ve seen of him, some of his shirts look like a size small!
♡ so if you’re actually built a little bigger than him, wether it be more muscular, busty, a little chubby or just generally bigger and his shirts fit you tight, hugging your chest and waist?
୨୧ i will not lie right now, ivar is kind of into it… especially when you wear them with nothing but underwear… he thinks you look crazy hot with the shirt hugging and showing off your body, nipples poking against the fabric as the hem of the shirt continuously rides up to just above your belly button
♡ i’m not exactly sure why i think this but i feel like ivar is very fragile and soft, kind of insecure
୨୧ he needs a lot of reassurance and comfort kisses from you, please just tell him you love him and tell him how talented you think he is!
♡ it’s one of the reasons he enjoys playing his guitar around you so much, he gets praise from you and that just makes his heart flutter and his face redden
୨୧ seriously, he loves when you praise his guitar playing! he’ll often sit on the edge of the bed as he plays whilst you sit behind him with your head resting on his shoulder or you’ll stand in the doorway watching! he cannot look up at you though, he gets so red and shy when he sees the look of love and admiration in your eyes… if you give a quiet applause afterwards? he’s so so so smiley and bashful! pulling you to him by your hand before placing a soft kiss on your lips, mumbling against your lips
“ thank you… for listening to me play, love you so much, y’know that? y’mean so much to me ” ( no but you really do, i feel like within the first week of meeting you or dating you, ivar just knew you were the one for him, you are his eternal love )
♡ when ivar goes through some issues with alcohol, you would probably be one of the things that really helps him pull through to the other side, you’re what really helps him escape the downward spiral
୨୧ most likely, it’s not even for himself! he couldn’t care any less about his health and whatever at the time but he cares about you and he loves you so so so much! if you ever threatened to end things with him due to not being able to just watch as he destroys himself, it slaps him with reality really fast… it’s seeing you be so upset and distraught at his drinking problems that makes him want to quit and he does, for you
♡ whenever he comes home from band practice or whatever else with darkthrone, sometimes he’s just so tired and worn down, wanting to do nothing more than collapse into your arms and sleep…
୨୧ often times he’ll rant to you about how he feels just a bit left out from darkthrone and whatever else, just stroke his hair and let him get it out! some loving and reassurance from you makes him feel better, you always make him feel better
♡ just before drifting off to sleep in your arms, he’ll usually mumble some kind of apology into your chest, as if he needs to apologise for anything
“ sorry… know it’s not a big deal… thanks… for listening, and loving me, i mean… ” ( he really is such a sweet guy who needs some loving )
୨୧ when ivar wakes up, still nestled in your arms, he always lets out the quietest yet loudest sigh of relief… he’s just so scared that one day you’ll get tired of him being whiny and always so upset after band practice, one day he’ll wake up and you’ll have packed up and left him
♡ he won’t ever tell you about these fears though, never! he’ll just lay back down and fall back to sleep on your chest, savouring the feeling of love and peace he feels in your arms, just in case…
୨୧ i don’t know, maybe i’m wrong but i just feel like he’d have a major fear of losing you! you’re the best thing to ever come into his life, he cannot even imagine waking up in the morning without you being beside him
♡ speaking of him being nestled in your arms, ivar is such a cuddle bug! but i actually can’t see him being the big spoon, he seems like a little spoon to me!
୨୧ he just likes laying on your chest as you stroke his hair too, he nearly purrs like a cat when you gently scratch his scalp and kiss his head
♡ ivar is not a huge morning guy, if it was up to him, he’d stay cuddled up in bed with you all damn day, just talking and sharing kisses, maybe getting a little down and dirty if you feel up to it <3
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undiscovered-horizon · 2 years ago
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Hello ❤❤ can you write something for the ragnarson family( vikings, both female and Male please) where the reader and them are together and somebody breaks into their house while they (as in not the reader) are injured and the reader defend them. You can decide if you want to go either an angst route or an happy route 🙏❤
Vikings preference: You try to defend them
🫀REQUESTS ARE OPEN🫀
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Ragnar: Numerous times he has fought while theoretically incapacitated, so what made you think that this time was going to be anything different? When you grab the nearby axe in a futile attempt to fend off the trespassers, he yanks it out of your hand and fights in his own name. Afterwards, he'd be one to mock you: you never did learn to fight so what were you expecting was going to happen? Despite that long rant of showing you how irresponsible you were, the moment he's fully recovered and back on his feet, Ragnar will surprise you with a spar, beginning a long process of him teaching you how to properly fight. And making fun of your inability to do so yet but it's all in good faith - it's just his humour.
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Bjorn: Just one word: angry. Although your intentions were pure, they were largely misplaced in his opinion. Never having learnt how to fight, your decision to stand between him and the aggressor was at least stupid. Maybe you were doing it out of love but Bjorn loves you too and that only fuels his anger - what if you got yourself killed and left him alone in Midgard? What was he supposed to do then? He never wanted you to be in a situation where you can get hurt and now you got yourself into one because of him. Don't think he'll want to teach you - you're permanently banned from everything sharp.
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Ubbe: He's definitely upset but the anger quickly subsides as he makes sure you're okay. You can tell he's seething at the possibility of you ending up wounded or worse but Ubbe is doing a great job controlling his emotions. Gives you a lecture on not putting yourself in danger you can't take on and how he's the one who's supposed to be protecting you. But Ubbe also notices your spirit: you definitely have the heart of a Viking, no matter what land you were born to. Maybe he'll teach you how to wield a sword but reluctantly as Ubbe is afraid you'd grow too confident in your nonexistent skills and get yourself in grave danger. Similarly to Bjorn, he's very protective of those he loves and if he wants to settle down with you, he might be a little too protective at times.
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Hvitserk: "Impressed" doesn't cover what he's experiencing. You have no training in sword fighting and you did surprisingly well, putting your well-being at risk just for him. Of course, he doesn't want that to become a habit and makes sure to tell you that unless he's stepping into Valhalla with one of his feet, you shouldn't try something like that again. But just like Ubbe, he takes notice of your Viking spirit and decided to teach you how to fight, although do not be surprised when spars start to get a little, well, obscene - that's part of the reason why he likes teaching you sword fighting.
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Sigurd: At first, he's a little offended that you'd think he couldn't protect himself but that thought disappears as swiftly as it had appeared and, instead, is replaced with only one idea: you love him enough to risk your life. If he ever lacked trust in your relationship, that one lark makes all of his doubts go away and Sigurd knows that the two of you are in deep. Also, if he ever worried about your safety, mainly from Ivar rather than other citizens of Kattegat, he's a lot more comfortable with that thought - quite clearly, hurting you is not an easy thing and whoever tries will not manage without getting injured themself.
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Ivar: Feels offended but it's not really your fault - he just compares himself to his brothers a lot and assumed that they wouldn't need protection from their significant other. Ivar might project his own insecurity and ask whether you think that he can't hold his own. His hurt ego might take a while to heal but when it does, he'll notice the amount of love he holds for you and that your sudden show of loyalty and courage was nothing more but a confession of your undying affection for him.
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Aslaug: Impressed by your vigour and skills but definitely expected you to do so. She's no fighter and doesn't hide it, so part of her simply assumed you were the protective component in the relationship. The more you fit her imagined ideal of a life partner, the more devoted she becomes to you. The story of you standing up to protect her life and honour is definitely quickly well-known throughout Kattegat, only bettering your social status. After all, what to call the protector of the queen if not a true hero?
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Lagertha: Upset but very calm about it. In a gentle and firm voice, she'll tell you that what you did was stupid as you do not know how to fight and she wishes you'd never try that again. Then, in the same breath, Lagertha will offer to teach you. You should better accept that proposition as it's a very exclusive one - to be taught sword fighting but the Lagertha.
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nrilliree · 6 months ago
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TB, I hate Aegon, but I don't quite understand why Ivar is pathetic. In general, it is strange to compare Aegon, who has eight minutes of screen time in the first season with Ivar, who had one of the main roles in several seasons and a huge plot. And why is he pathetic? Like, he's a man with a very strong character, despite his physical disability, he was able to achieve a lot thanks to his mind, he sincerely loved his father and the only one of the brothers was ready to avenge his mother, he went through a wonderful arch of redemption with Igor and really changed a lot by the end of the story. I don't really understand - he's a much more complex and interesting character.
I'm not just talking about Aegon from the show, but also from the book, who had more material than nine minutes of screen time. Ivar is just an ordinary little psychopath who was spoiled by his mommy because of his disability. As a small child he murdered a other small child and what…? And nothing. Mom was proud. Nothing happened. That's why he grew up to be a mentally unstable, insecure narcissist with a god complex. He wasn't even a strategic genius. In his case, the "any other character than him lose 80 IQ points" method worked. I don't know about others, but on Polish discussion forums for this series, Ivar is listed by many as one of the stupidest, most irritating and worst characters in the history of this series, with each season getting closer to the podium. I guess it's in our blood ;P I don't find it interesting or complex. He is rather a mentally unstable psychopath who couldn't decide what he wanted. For me, only Hvitserk was the worse of the brothers. That's why I don't want to talk about Ivar, because for me he's such a miserable character that I'd rather use the keyboard even on pathetic Aemond than on Ivar, lol.
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oddsnendsfanfics · 2 months ago
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Every now and then I see notes from this series and it makes my heart so happy. It's one of my favourites and I want to thank everyone for the love that they show it, even now 6 years after it finished.
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axelsagewrites · 11 months ago
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Truth or Dare
Pairing: ivar x reader
Word count: 1101
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Warnings: ivar being insecure, drinking, brief mentions of sex, kissing
Masterlist Here
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Growing up with the Ragnarssons got you in a lot of well questionable situations but tonight was also one of them. Except at least no one wanted to kill anyone. Yet. The night is young after all. “I dare you to,” Ubbe began, drunkenly waving his cup at Sigurd, “to down that whole horn of mead in one,” he said as Sigurd rolled his eyes while Hvitserk, Ivar, and you cheered him on.
“Fine, fine,” he eventually gave in with a smile, drinking the alcohol he’d been avoiding all night in 10 seconds flat. “Now,” he said, eyes wandering the circle. You were all sat a few feet from the bustling hall where they were celebrating their return from the latest raid, but this was far more your style. Even as Sigurd pointed his finger at you, you smiled, “Truth or dare?”
“Hmm,” you wondered which would get you in worse bother considering the four drunk men you considered your closest friends. “Truth,” your response was met with groans and even Ivar leaned over to whisper ‘coward’ in your ear.
“True or false,” he started, his eyes dancing in a way that made you nervous, “You and Leif,” he said, eyebrows raised making Ubbe and Hvitserk ooo at you, but Ivar stayed silent.
You rolled your eyes at Sigurd, “That wasn’t a question,”
“Please you know what I’m going to ask,”
“Whatever do you mean dear Sigurd?” you smiled, batting your lashes at him.
“You’ve fucked?” Hvitserk jumped in and the boys’ cackles almost covered up the low growl from Ivar but none of them seemed to notice.
You shot him a quick look before answering, “No,” you said and Ivar’s shoulders finally untensed.
“But you’ve kissed?” Ubbe said, making things worse instantly.
You rolled your eyes once more before taking a drink out of your flask, “No you only get one question. Now Ivar truth or dare?”
As you turned to face the blue-eyed boy you did your best not to stare too obviously at his face. You weren’t sure why or when your crush started on Ivar, but it was getting harder to ignore the older you both got. However, after a few beats of silence he finally spoke, “I do not wish to play anymore, I am tired. goodnight,”
All four of you watched after him as he dragged himself away however he wasn’t heading home. “What’s wrong with him?” Sigurd asked as Ivar disappeared into the forest tree line.
“I’m gonna go- “a staggering Ubbe said as he tried to stand but you quickly pushed him back down and stood.
“I’ll go,” you said, not even turning back to chastise their whoops and Woo’s.
It didn’t take long to find Ivar with his eyes closed and back against a tree. As you walked you tried to be quiet, but you heard a twig snap and Ivar sigh. You grimaced as you moved to sit down next to him though he still would not open his eyes. “What is the matter Ivar?”
“It’s nothing,”
“Please Ivar,” you said, sighing before deciding to try make him laugh, “You’re never this calm when your upset,” you joked but he only sighed once more.
Finally, though he opened his eyes, but he looked straight forward. He took a deep breath, his tongue darting out to wet his lips before he spoke, “You never answered the question,”
“What question?”
“Ubbe’s question,” he said, his voice straining as you noticed him gripping his hand into a fist.
You paused for a moment before you realised, letting out a sigh of relief, “No Ivar. I haven’t kissed him. Is that what upset you?” he said nothing again, closing his eyes once more. “Ivar please what is wrong? Why does it bother you who I kiss?”
“It doesn't- I mean I- “he sighed, his breathing becoming heavier, “I just didn’t want to be the last one to have ever kissed someone. That’s it. okay?” he said, finally turning to look at you with a glare behind his eyes. Most would flinch under his gaze, but your face softened when you saw the hurt behind his eyes, “And I didn’t want to wait around for someone, even you, to ask me a stupid question like that,”
“Ivar- I wouldn’t have asked you that,” you said as his eyes fell to the floor, “I didn’t know you hadn’t kissed anyone either,”
“You- “Ivar paused, lifting his head, “You’re lying,”
“Am not!” you protested, “Why would I lie?”
“To make me look less stupid?”
You laughed at that, shoving his shoulder, “Where would the fun in that be? If anything, I’m more surprised you haven’t kissed someone,”
Ivar rolled his eyes, “Yeah right. Who would want to kiss me?” he said as he turned his gaze to you. his eyes knocked the wind out your lungs and for a moment you considered not saying anything.
“I would,” you finally said, your voice soft.
His eyes perked up at your words though, no longer able to take it back, “You would?” he asked, and you nodded gently. Another few moments of silence passed before he cleared his throat, “Perhaps it would be better for us to be each other’s first kiss. So, we can um learn what to do,” he said as his eyes fell once more to the floor.
“Perhaps,” you said, shuffling closer, “Ivar?” you said, your head instinctively leaning closer to his so that when he looked up his nose brushed yours, “Would you like to kiss me?” you asked, his breathing fanning your lips.
Ivar swallowed hard, his eyes darting to your lips, “Yes,” he eventually breathed out, “I would like that very much,”
He stayed frozen but slowly your lips dipped in till they brushed against his. Fuck it. you closed the gap, your eyes falling shut as you felt his lips against yours. the kiss was soft and gentle and lasted only a brief second before you pulled away, but you were still nose to nose.
“Ivar?” you tried to ask but his lips moved too quickly, capturing yours again but you were quick to catch up. Your hands moved to cover his, bringing them over to rest on your waist before yours moved to his shoulders which you could finally feel how muscular they’d become.
You kissed till you couldn’t breathe anymore and when you pulled away his lips tried to follow as you both gasped for air. “I think,” Ivar began to pant, “I like kissing you,”
“Good,” you grinned, your hand moving to cup his face, “Then lets never stop,”
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nothingtolosebutweight · 2 years ago
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Title: Three Simple Words Characters: Ivar the Boneless x Bishop Heahmund Words: ~ 4600 [AO3] Warnings: Fluff, Angst, Soft & Insecure Ivar Summary: Ivar just wanted to take a bath and then retire to his room for the night's rest, as he had done so many times before. On this day, however, something is different and nothing will ever be the same again.
-----------------------------------------
"I want you."
Such simple words and yet within seconds they had him under some kind of spell. They were spoken in a hushed manner, hidden in a dark corner, shielded from possible witnesses. Heahmund's lips were thereby so close that Ivar felt how the breath that carried those words to his ear brushed his cheek, leaving a ticklish sensation. The voice, as always, so rough and dark that the vibration transmitted itself to Ivar, causing a pleasant shudder in addition.
Ivar almost forgot to breathe. He swallowed nervously, immediately scolding himself in his thoughts for the too-loud-for-his-taste sound this had made. His pupils were dilated in astonishment, his lips slightly parted in shock and the need to say anything in return, and yet not even the tiniest syllable came out of his mouth. He felt hot and cold simultaneously, trapped by a predator just waiting for him to make the wrong move to launch his final attack.
Three simple words, but to Ivar they possessed a power that caused his legs to become even more unsteady than they already were on a daily basis. He stretched out his non-crutch-holding hand and propped his palm against the wall beside him. The sensation of the unyielding stone wall gave him a feeling of stability that he not only needed in a physical sense. 
He had just taken a bath and was dressed only in a light tunic and linen pants, over which he had quickly pulled his braces to be able to walk back to his room. He loved to stay clean a little longer these days, and crawling was not very helpful in that regard. His hair was still damp and hung loosely over his shoulders. Without his armor and braids, Ivar felt even more exposed and defenseless.
The fact that Heahmund had specially chosen a moment when he had found him alone, taking advantage of the moment of surprise to pull him into this dark corner, fitted only too well with the association of being prey to him. In a way, it had been predictable that he would catch him off guard after bathing one day. For some time now, he felt Heahmund's piercing gaze resting heavily on him as soon as he made his way back to his chamber, freshly washed. He could bet by now that he would meet Heahmund on the way back, for the former bishop seemed to have made it his business to loiter somewhere nearby.
There was already something attractive about Heahmund's eyes in general. They had a certain mysteriousness in them, a sublimity that made it difficult to tear oneself away from them once one had fallen under their spell. However, as soon as Ivar crossed his path in such a vulnerable manner, the unnaturally bright eyes of the former bishop unfolded a fire and a breathtaking intensity that Ivar had no idea how to evaluate. On the one hand, he wallowed in this attention, enjoying being the center of interest at that moment. Possibly pushing the weakling god out of Heahmund's thoughts and elevating himself to a pedestal. On the other hand, this piercing look seemed eerie to him, because Ivar wasn't sure what the reason for this look could be.
Overwhelmed, Ivar mutely returned the now equally piercing gaze with which Heahmund, who had straightened up again, looked at him. The ice-blue eyes darted over his features, greedily absorbing his every reaction. They knew no mercy and kept him in their custom-built prison. It seemed to Ivar as if they were trying to look into his very being to find the answer that had been denied to their owner so far.
I want you - The words reverberated relentlessly in Ivar's mind as he tried to grasp their full meaning or at least find a plausible explanation for Heahmund's behavior. Their sound was so sweet, so enticing. If he were on the open sea at that moment, he would be sure that one of the daughters of the sea was trying to lure him to her. 
The answer seemed within reach, but burgeoning fear kept Ivar from seizing it, and by this hesitation, he also possibly denied himself access to a deeply hidden dream waiting to become reality. Denying himself his wishful thinking somehow felt safer. Too strong was his over the years built up inner protective armor to completely dismiss it now and surrender to the hope that was trying to fight its way to the surface. He usually kept his hopes and longings well hidden, caged and sealed away in a chamber in the depths of his being, guarded by his own inner monsters, masked by his normally violent and cunning behavior.
Nobody should see him as weak. That was one of his biggest irritants, and allowing himself to fall into wishful thinking and daydreaming was a weakness, according to Ivar.
Those three simple words, however, morphed into a key-like shape and approached the door, rattling it dangerously and causing it to open a teeny tiny crack.
Self-doubt and past hurt, however, blocked the way.
The little boy inside him, who had not only once been the victim of insulting words and thunderous laughter about his disability or painful cries, crawled to the surface. Panic decorated his childlike face, while he whispered words of warning not to be so naive and trust people because he knew from experience how hurtful this could end. It wasn't that his young alter ego didn't crave the approval of other human beings, he ultimately wanted nothing more than to be loved and recognized for who he was - without condescending looks resting on him. These desires were always present in his mind. He was always eager to prove himself worthy of other people's recognition, but he was also marked by thick scars that concealed his heart behind an intricately tangled web of ramifications. The pain of past injuries pumped through his veins like the royal blood that kept him alive. A cripple like him would surely have long since lingered in Helheim if not for his famous parents.
What did Heahmund mean? What was his intention?
There had to be another explanation than the one his heart was trying to scream to his mind in a desperate attempt to make him understand.
Heahmund was a skilled warrior who claimed an almost magical sword as his own. Ivar was still convinced that only the dwarves could have forged it. The workmanship was too excellent, the edge too sharp, that human hands could have made it. Also, he was no longer a prisoner and could move freely in Kattegat. Of course, he was denied the opportunity to return to England. Ivar wouldn't let such a valuable warrior go just like that, but apart from that he could see himself as a semi-free man. He was free to eat and drink what he wanted, when he wanted, to have fun with whom he wanted, and even his daily prayers Heahmund could pursue without prosecution. Even if the constant mumbling about God annoyed Ivar from time to time, he permitted him to do it. So why would he want him?
Still searching for another explanation, a rather plausible one came to Ivar's mind. What if Heahmund was just too lazy to speak in complete sentences given the late hour? 
He himself had used these words many times in his life, but always in connection with a command. It was his birthright to order others around and demand that they do what he wants them to do. Even to Heahmund, he had once said, "I want you to fight for me.", and even though it had sounded like a request at the time, it had been more of an order. Heahmund could have said no, yes, but then he wouldn't have had much time left to live his life.
A twinge of annoyance swept through Ivar as he considered the possibility that Heahmund himself was simply too tired to speak in full sentences as increasingly likely. It bugged him that he had allowed himself - even if only vaguely - to think of something else, and thus unnecessarily allowed hope to sprout, although he should have known better.
Why couldn't Heahmund just say clearly what he wanted? Why did he have to confuse him like that?
"What?" Ivar finally muttered, much too late to hide the fact that he was quite caught off guard. He couldn't think of a more quick-witted response that normally came easily to his lips, which were now contorted into a frown. The plan to make his voice sound annoyed or even unfazed had failed miserably and that, of course, bothered him immensely. Despite imitating Heahmund and answering as curtly as possible, he had failed to sound as confident as he wanted, as he usually was. His voice had betrayed him in the worst way, trembling like a leaf in the wind and revealing all too clearly his inner storm.
Ivar cleared his throat briefly and used the back of his hand to rub over his right eye. He wasn't tired at all, rather wide awake now, but the gesture was meant to feign fatigue, so Heahmund would attribute the weakness in his expression to that at best.
When their eyes met again Ivar thought for a short moment he could see something like disappointment in Heahmund's expression. However, he had no time to think about whether this was really the case, because Heahmund leaned towards him again, almost pressing his lips against his ear as he answered him. Ivar felt the gossamer touch against his skin and that alone would have been enough to trigger the pleasant shiver that stretched from the back of his neck down his spine. But Heahmund topped it by repeating his words again, in the same gruff whisper as before, which made all the little hairs on the back of Ivar's neck stand up.
“I want you.” Once again, Heahmund didn't add anything more and made no effort to explain himself further. Unlike before, he emphasized the ‘you’ more and one more thing was different than before and it caused Ivar to widen his eyes in disbelief.
Ivar felt it or at least he believed he did. A kiss, delicate, almost like a breeze, was placed directly on top of his ear. Once again he was unable to connect the clear fact that he had definitely felt it with the realization of what it was supposed to mean. It was simply too absurd for him. Why would Heahmund want his lips to touch a Heathen? There was no explanation that seemed logical to Ivar, but he also couldn't think about it for too long, for something else was already distracting him from his thoughts. 
Heat radiated through his body, originating in his right ear, spreading from there with an unpleasant burning sensation across his cheeks, down his neck, and causing his entire upper body to flare up. It was embarrassing how such a simple, unexpected touch affected him. 
The heat soon turned into a feeling of panic. From one moment to the next, Ivar felt cornered. The fact that Heahmund made no effort to retreat a little to maintain a proper distance only intensified Ivar's need to escape the confinement. He took a few discreet deep breaths and the delicate scent of warm skin, coupled with the exertions of a day of training and the smell of worn leather enveloped Ivar like the soft fur of the blankets he snuggled into at night. It soothed him in a way, causing a strange mingling of needs in him. He still wanted to escape the unforeseen closeness, to give himself air, since he equally got the feeling that the heavenly fragrance was robbing him of the air to breathe, gently suffocating him. But on the other hand, he felt equally drawn to it, instinctively wanting to dive closer into the source of this pleasant feeling, to give himself completely to it and let himself be carried away in its warmth.
His body decided and Ivar pressed his palm against Heahmund's chest.  He only used gentle pressure, but it was still enough to make Heahmund move a step backward.
Uncertainty about how to proceed began to gnaw at Ivar again, like the ravages of time on Lagertha's former youthful appearance. Only seconds after he refocused his previously lost-in-thought gaze to look at the predator in front of him, he immediately regretted it. It seemed to him that Heahmund's eyes had become even more intense in the meantime. There was a fire in them, an unspoken truth that didn’t require Heahmund to explain his words in further detail. If Ivar only allowed his inner resting hope to take the lead in his thinking, he could find all the answers in those bright crystals that looked at him, waiting.
For a brief moment, their eye contact broke as Heahmund targeted Ivar's lips for a fraction of a blink, caressing them with desire that lay heavy in his gaze. He didn't have to say what was going through his mind, for it was obvious. Even for Ivar.
The fleeting touch on his ear didn't seem enough for the bishop's greedy lips. They wanted more. Just as Heahmund's hand, which had approached Ivar's hip unbeknownst to him and settled on it, triggering a new source of heat that burned through Ivar's body.
The question that came out of his mouth next was absolutely nonsensical even to his ears, and yet Ivar couldn't stop himself from uttering it. Maybe Heahmund really just wanted to say something along the lines of, I want you to let me go back to England, or something like that. Why he had to do this here, in the seclusion of a dark and hidden corner, of all places, was a question for another time.  Some part of Ivar was still holding on to the fact that everything he thought he saw and felt was an illusion. Perhaps the steam from the hot water earlier was still clouding his mind, making him see things that were actually clear only as if through a fog.
"And what exactly is it you want me to do?" His voice hadn't regained its vigor, but it wasn't as croaky as before, either. This alone was a win. "You speak in riddles, Bishop," he added as he released his hand from his counterpart's chest. He could feel the wetness that had accumulated in his palm. A clear sign of his nervousness. Without thinking about it, he stroked over Heahmund's arm, spreading his sweat on the linen fabric of the latter's shirt before reaching down to grab Heahmund’s wrist. Ivar didn’t push Heahmund’s hand away, but he applied enough pressure to make it clear that he shouldn't dare to move any further, as Heahmund's fingers had suspiciously stretched out towards his butt.
His grip tightened, searching for hold, as Heahmund began to speak again, without hesitation and as curtly as before. He seemed not to be afraid to speak what was on his mind.
"Be mine."
Besides reinforcing his hand grip, a soundless laugh was Ivar's first response. Not heavy with amusement, but with disbelief. He felt as if he had been struck by Thor's thunder, paralyzed as if the words had entered him like bolts of electricity.
A touch on his cheek, tender and caring as his mother had last touched him, made him blink and thus regain full awareness of his surroundings again. He seemed to have completely shut down for one moment or two. At least this could be guessed by Heahmund's worried expression.
"Ivar?" 
He hadn't expected such tenderness from Heahmund. Neither in his touch nor in the gentleness with which he called him by his name. 
Ivar forced himself to maintain a somewhat calm demeanor and stoically faced Heahmund. He wasn't yet ready to completely discard the mask he had trained himself to wear for years, even if it had cracked quite a bit in the last couple of moments. It took him some effort not to nestle like a puppy into the warm palm, torn by his longing for affection. But he could not escape this gentle touch so full of warmth and nostalgic memories either. He was still holding the other hand on his hip in an iron grip and his own other hand held onto his crutch to steady himself. It was a support he couldn't give up, just to get rid of a feeling he didn’t really want to lose, otherwise, he would be too dependent on Heahmund not taking advantage of his helpless situation. Perhaps Heahmund would knock him to the ground as soon as he would let go of his crutch to slap his hand away. The thought that it was possibly all just a strategic move struck Ivar immediately after he started considering the danger of letting go of his crutch. It was no secret that Heahmund was a good strategist who was as good at making plans long in advance as he himself was. Victories were also important to his adored warrior. So the question was, how far would he go to achieve his goals?
"Don't play games with me, Heahmund. You are in no position to ..."
Before he could finish his threat, Heahmund had already come so close that their lips almost touched, causing Ivar to swallow the rest of his sentence in a nervous gulp. Forgotten was the insult that was supposed to serve as protection.
"I'm not playing any games," Heahmund murmured. He saw that Ivar was completely out of his depth right now. Even a blind man would be able to see this. The danger of ending up with a knife in his chest was great, and yet he dared to move even closer, bridging the last remaining distance. For just a second, their lips touched in a gentle, feather-light manner, then Heahmund pulled away, waiting briefly for a reaction from Ivar - which didn't come.
Not being discouraged by the apathetic reaction, Heahmund initiated another gentle kiss consisting merely of the meeting of their lips. He didn't move his mouth fiercely against Ivar's, didn't open his to slide his tongue over the full pillows in front of him. All this, he desired to do, but it would be too much too soon. He was well aware of this and therefore summoned all his willpower not to give in to what he would actually most like to do right now, and thus left it at barely noticeable kisses, some directly on the mouth, some in the corner, some towards Ivar's jaw and cheek. Every inch of Ivar was worth caressing, and Heahmund was pleased to be able to thoroughly explore and cherish those parts for a start.
Ivar stood still as a stone, not daring to move as his lips fell prey to his charming predator. While Heahmunds closed his eyes to focus completely on his other senses, Ivar's eyes widened. He stared at the long thick lashes before him, trying to make sense of what was happening right now. As before, however, clear thinking was not possible. Now even less so.
There were plenty of new sensations for Ivar to process, and he certainly couldn't deny that these felt better than he could have ever imagined. Every time Heahmund touched his lips or his skin with his own surprisingly soft ones, warmth flooded into his abdominal area, spreading in little flashes to the rest of his body. The rough stubble that stretched across Heahmund's jaw, chin and upper lip brushed across his skin, causing a pleasant tickling sensation. The unfamiliar lips felt so warm and inviting, but they also left a feeling of sweet agony, for Ivar knew even after those brief moments that he would not be able to live in a reality where he could no longer feel them pressed against him in any way. The hand on his cheek gave him a feeling of safety, and when Heahmund began to gently stroke over his cheekbone with his thumb, it was all over for him and he could no longer stop himself from tilting his head slightly to lean more into the touch. Slowly, his eyes fell closed as well, while fingertips gently ran through his hair, stroking a strand behind his ear and then moving down to the nape of his neck, resting there.
The thought of escape receded more and more into the back of Ivar’s mind and yet it was difficult for him to break out of his overall numbness. The last sparks of fear and doubt were deeply rooted in him and couldn't be dispelled so quickly. The thought that maybe it was all just a nightmare masquerading as a beautiful daydream that would snap him back full force into a rather gruesome reality as soon as he fully surrendered, kept nagging at him. If something seemed or felt too good, it couldn't be true. His past had taught him that over and over again. 
So why should this time be any different?
Despite his worries, it also felt right to drop his caution at that moment, to surrender to what was happening, and to give himself completely to the sensations that were being gifted to him. He could at least enjoy the moment to the fullest until it would possibly be ripped away from him again. With this thinking, he could finally break through his paralysis and he started to respond to Heahmund's touches.
Ivar released his hold on Heahmund's wrist and instead stroked over his arm, wandering upward until he stopped shortly before the transition to the shoulder. There he strengthened his grip again, searching for support. With caution, he began to return the tender kisses, approaching them by his own will, turning his head himself to determine where the next gossamer touch would target him. Guided by trust, his other hand let go of the crutch, letting it bump against the wall next to them. Driven by long-held curiosity, his fingertips slid to Heahmund's jaw, stroking through the dense untamed beard, which he himself had been unable to grow so far.
As soon as his hand was free, Heahmund let it slide onto Ivar's lower back, pressing him closer against his body, steadying him. He opened his lips slightly and moved them rhythmically against Ivar's mouth. A blissful sigh escaped him as Ivar began to mimic his movements, while fingertips were still stroking over his jawline. Shortly after, Heahmund's caresses drifted to the side again, his nose nuzzled against Ivar's cheek, and his lips briefly encircled his earlobe before he wandered down to the side of the neck where he stayed still for a moment. He pressed his lips against the soft skin there, feeling the rapid boom of Ivars blood flow pulsing against them.
Heahmund was as close to his personal heaven as never before. He could have stayed like this forever, and he actually had no idea how much time might have passed in the meantime. Only a whispered "Why" tore him out of his lost state of mind, in which he had only let himself be guided by his heart. He placed one last fleeting kiss on Ivar's jaw and breathed in the scent of freshly bathed skin before recollecting himself and taking a step back so he could look at Ivar. He looked into relaxed features and still closed eyes.
"Why? What do you mean?" Immediately after the words were spoken, Ivar's mouth magically drew him in again. Driven by inner greed, he simply couldn't wait for the answer. He had to unite their lips in a gentle kiss again, which he immediately deepened when he was greeted by Ivar opening his mouth. That he had surely only wanted to give an answer became clear to Heahmund when Ivar fell back into stiffness and his eyes snapped open in shock, definitely caught off guard by his boldness. He immediately ended the kiss, stroking Ivar's lower back in a soothing gesture. 
In an unconscious gesture, Ivar licked his lips, reaping the last fruits of their intimate contact.
"Why would you want me of all people?" He asked in a soft voice, the incomprehension written all over his face, for he still couldn't quite understand how the day, which had gone so normally until then, could have taken such an unexpected turn.
Heahmund fixed his gaze on Ivar as he put both hands around his face and ran a thumb over the full lower lip once more. 
Driven by nervousness, Ivar avoided the eye contact and directed his eyes to Heahmund's shirt collar, where a patch of bare chest caught his attention. His hand wandered there as if controlled by his eyes, and with his index finger, he traced the outline of the neckline before carefully touching the skin as if new surges of electricity were waiting for him.
"Ivar, look at me," Heahmund demanded in an equally gentle tone, and without hesitating for long, Ivar obeyed. He was greeted by a warm smile from Heahmund, which he had never seen before from the usually stoic man. 
Ivar felt like his heart had stopped for a beat. It wasn't that he had never seen Heahmund smile before. He definitely had. During their many conversations about their different beliefs, Heahmund had often looked at him with a smile. A smile that was full of disdain and mockery. Ivar was used to this, but the one he was looking at now had nothing of the sort in it. The present one was like a caressing hand laid over his past wounds in a healing gesture. It was so warm, so heartfelt, that it sparked the urge in Ivar to deepen their embrace and to let himself fall into Heahmund's arms.
"You are the strongest temptation I have ever come into contact with, and I no longer have the willpower to resist you. For too long I have tried to fight the need to be close to you, to touch you, to coax sweet sounds from your lips. I want you, Ivar, and though greed is another sin I will have to repent for, I want all of you, just for myself."
Maybe Ivar didn't need to find any suitable explanations at all.  Perhaps the one he was afraid to grasp had been the only correct one from the beginning.
His father had once said that happiness was nothing, but although Ivar had lived by it until now, he allowed himself to let the small seed of happiness that, driven by the words, began to germinate in his heart, flourish. His own smile that emerged from deep within him served as a nurturing ground for it.
Maybe happiness wasn't so bad at all,  Ivar thought to himself as he lowered his head onto Heahmund's shoulder and nestled his face into the hollow of his neck. He snuggled into the embrace, which Heahmund deepened even more, and his cheeks burned with pleasant shame. He decided that even if his illusion was shattered because Heahmund was indeed playing with him, he would soak up as many happy moments as he could and save them for the rest of his life to feast on them during dark days.
"You are an idiot for wanting me, but I will grant you that wish," he mumbled into the crook of Heahmund's neck.
"Maybe I am, but at least I'm a happy idiot," replied Heahmund, pressing a kiss to Ivar's forehead before gently bringing Ivar's face back in front of him, giving him a real kiss which neither of them wanted to end anytime soon this time.
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ivarlover · 1 year ago
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UNEXPECTED
Part 2 (sequel #3 to UNLEASHED and UNDENIABLE)
Alex + Modern Ivar
Mentions of Female Reader + Hvitserk
If you're new here and want to catch up, just scroll down my page, and the first chapter to UNLEASHED is at the bottom, then UNDENIABLE, and now, UNEXPECTED...
This was supposed to be just a one-shot but the story has come alive and the need to write more can't be ignored. At this point, I have no idea how many chapters this will end up consiating of. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it! 🔥
Summary: During a hot weekend with your classmate, Alex, and his best friend, Ivar, the two of them had their own fun together. And now, it had turned into an entire relationship between the two of them that neither of them had seen coming. Now, that reality had set in, they navigate the relationship and all that comes along with it, the good, the bad, and the unexpected.
Inspired by a naughty conversation with a friend of mine. 😍
Warnings, The sequel in general: Totally NSFW, Unprotected anal sex (male receiving), oral, male to male contact and more, a bad case of the feels, and smut, with me, there is ALWAYS smut 🤣 Each chapter will have it's own warnings.
This chapter: A little smut, of course, the feels, mentions of Ivar's ex love and the insecurities that brings with it, parents reactions to finding out their boys are together romantically
Please leave a comment and let me know what you think!
Words: I don't know; there are many, many words 🤣
Let me know if you want on or off the tag list!
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Before they knew it, the morning sun was shining through the bedroom windows and Alex stirred, still in Ivar's arms. As he started to get up, Ivar's arms tightened around him, "Umm-uh. Not yet," Ivar mumbled, sleep still thick in his voice. "Why are you already awake?"
"I'm just going to the bathroom. I'll be right back," Alex laughed.
"Ok," Ivar responded without even opening his eyes. "When you get back I need your help with something," he said, grabbing his morning wood through his boxers and shaking it toward Alex.
"Oh my God! You're despicable, Ivar!" Alex got to his feet and threw a pillow at Ivar, laughing harder now.
"Yes, and you love me for it," Ivar laughed.
When Alex returned, there he saw Ivar, fast asleep, laying on his back, morning glory on display through his boxers, looking quite irresistible. He thought about it for a second and then walked over to the bedroom door. He shook it roughly, ensuring that it was indeed locked, and walked back over to the bed.
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He stood at the foot of the bed for another moment and just watched Ivar's chest move up and down as he breathed heavily. He looked so pleasant and peaceful that he almost didn't want to disturb him. Almost.
Alex pulled the sheet back, off of Ivar and Ivar groaned a little but continued in his deep slumber. Alex slowly crawled over Ivar's body and stopped just over his waist. He leaned down and placed a warm, wet kiss just below Ivar's navel, on his happy trail, making Ivar jolt involuntarily. As Alex began to pull Ivar's boxers down, Ivar immediately grabbed them tightly and sat up, "What? What the fuck is..?" and he then realized what was happening and who was undressing him.
"Well, good morning, sunshine," Alex told him in a very sultry voice as he kissed him deeply then pulled away. "Now, lay back down, babe," and Ivar gladly did as he was told.
Alex continued with removing Ivar's boxers, only this time, with Ivar's help. Ivar grinned approvingly as he looked down at Alex, dropping the boxers to the floor.
Alex leaned up and forward over Ivar, caging him. Ivar raised his hands to grab Alex and pull him into another kiss but Alex caught his hands. He then, quickly threw them up by his head, holding them firmly in place. "Not so quick, now. I need you to just lay back and enjoy," Alex grinned and leaned down and licked Ivar's lips. Ivar didn't know what had gotten into Alex this morning but he liked it.
"Now, I'm going to let go of your hands but you have to leave them here by your head. If you move them or touch me, you'll be punished."
"Oohh. Punished? You promise?" Ivar asked all excitedly.
"Yes, but not how you're thinking, babe. Punished, meaning everything will stop, and you'll have to beg."
"Ha! Beg! Right!" Ivar rolled his eyes.
"Well, you've been warned," Alex slowly let go of Ivar's hands. He leaned down to face Ivar and he stopped just as his mouth was right above Ivar's. As he got a little closer, he slowly and gently kissed Ivar. Just as Ivar began to deepen the kiss, Alex pulled away from him. He hovered just above him again and Ivar almost grabbed him and pulled him back down into another kiss before he remembered Alex's rule.
Ivar groaned, "Kiss me again."
Alex leaned back down and just as he reached Ivar's mouth, he stopped and heavily breathed into Ivar's mouth, causing Ivar to moan. "I'm in charge here this time, Ivar. Not you," Alex grinned. Ivar grunted but didn't move his hands.
Alex then licked Ivar's lips again and softly bit his bottom one before beginning to lightly kiss down his jaw toward his neck. He feathered light, wet kisses to the nape of Alex's neck and then withdrew his mouth and lightly blew hot air onto where he'd been kissing. Ivar arched his back and moaned, "Fuck, babe! You've got to let me touch you."
"Not a chance," Alex grinned into Ivar's neck as he licked it, sending chills coursing all through Ivar's body.
"FUCK!"
Alex continued to kiss and nibble down Ivar's collarbone, to his chest as Ivar squirmed. Ivar gritted his teeth, together and placed his hands on his own head and in his hair attempting to prevent himself from grabbing Alex like he was dying to. He began to sweat. He hadn't realized how hard this would be for him.
Alex lightly touched Ivar's smooth chest with his fingertips, dragging them along behind his warm kisses, as he continued to make his way lower down Ivar's chest and stomach. When he reached Ivar's belly button, he placed his plump lips over it and kissed it as he dipped his tongue into it.
Ivar lost it. His hands automatically went to Alex, one landing on his head, tangling in his hair, and the other on his shoulder and back. He pulled Alex's hair without even thinking as he groaned in complete dismay. He squeezed Alex's shoulder tightly and tried to pull him back up to face him. "Damn! Alex! I want you!" He breathed out heavily.
Alex sat up on his knees, pulling away from Ivar completely. "I hope you're ready to beg. Your orders were to keep your hands by your head."
Ivar looked him straight in the face, "Fuck! You were serious about that, love? I'm sorry. Just, umm, damn, come back and finish what you started."
Alex smiled and placed his hand in his own boxers and began to slowly stroke his manhood, "I have no problem finishing on my own while I watch you lay there and squirm. You chose the punishment and the punishment is you have to beg."
Ivar rolled his eyes and groaned as if he was in physical pain, "Fuck!"
Alex pulled his own boxers down just enough for Ivar to get a good view of his hand wrapped tightly around his own cock as he slowly pumped up and down. He licked his lips while looking into Ivar's eyes, "This could be you, babe." He rolled his eyes into the back of his head, exaggerating his movements, and dramatically moaned, "Or I can just finish, myself, while you watch. Oh and it feels so good," he whimpered.
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Ivar practically growled, "Damn you! You know what you licking your lips does to me, you little tease!"
In a sultry voice, Alex said, "Then beg. Beg for what you want, Ivar. Beg and your wish is my command. Just beg." Alex licked his lips again, this time even slower than before and then bit his bottom lip.
"Oh hell! Just come back. Place your hands on me again. Put your mouth on me, anywhere, just put it back on me and finish what you started. Oh my God! PLEASE! Please, love, I need to feel your mouth on me again. Please, for my sanity, please come back and let me feel that magical fucking mouth of yours again. Fuck! Please!"
"And what will you do with your hands? Hummm?"
Ivar moaned out between heavy pants, "Fuck! I'll cut them off if you need me to! Just fucking touch me again with your mouth and hands. Please! I won't touch you again until you say I can. I fucking promise! Just please!"
Ivar began to whine and Alex felt pleased knowing he had this power over him. "Ok, I think I've tortured you enough. Put both of your hands by your head and leave them there." Ivar immediately did as he was told and even placed both hands under his head to try to prevent himself from his temptation, looking down at Alex to see what he'd do next.
Alex ran his fingertips down Ivar's chest, reveling in the feel of his hard body and soft skin under his touch. Ivar squirmed as he sighed with relief. Alex then bent back down and looking up at Ivar, dragged his tongue from Ivar's collarbone to his belly button. Ivar whelped in sheer pleasure, his body writhing underneath Alex's hands and mouth.
Alex pulled barely an inch from Ivar and spoke into his abdomen, breathing his hot air onto Ivar's wet skin and causing Ivar to arch his back, his head digging into the pillow behind him. "I'm going to kiss you here again, babe," he breathed heavily, "But don't you fucking move your hands."
Ivar screwed his eyes shut and did all he could not to move his hands. He needed Alex to continue pleasing him even if it was also torture. Alex opened his mouth over Ivar's navel and gently kissed it as if he were kissing Ivar's mouth. As his wet lips rubbed against Ivar's skin, he stuck his tongue out and licked and sucked his belly button. Ivar grabbed handfuls of his own hair and pulled, feeling helpless, wanting nothing more than to touch Alex. He longed to feel him in his hands but he restrained himself and let Alex take control. It was really his first time giving someone this kind of control over himself and he was surprised at how much he enjoyed it and hated it at the same time.
Alex looked up at Ivar, seductively, into his lust filled eyes and smiled when Ivar growled at him. While his hands continued to lightly rub across Ivar's chest and stomach, he continued to kiss futher down Ivar's happy trail.
As Alex got closer to Ivar's swollen cock, Ivar's breathing sped up in anticipation, his toes curled and his entire body stiffened. Alex's hands trailed from his stomach down to his hips where he grabbed on tightly, sending chills throughout Ivar's body.
Alex turned his head toward Ivar's every ready cock that was standing firm against his body. Purposely breathing heavily, he licked up the side of it from the base to the tip. He then moved his head and did the same thing on the other side of Ivar's hard dick. Every nerve in Ivar's body tingled at the sensation and his hips bucked forward. Ivar let out a wailing growl and moaned, "Alex, love, please, can I touch you?"
Alex glanced up at Ivar as he sucked the tip of his dick into his mouth. He swirled his tongue around it, causing Ivar to shut his eyes tightly as he whimpered. Alex answered him with his dick still in his mouth, "Umm humm."
Ivar yanked his head up and looked down at Alex, "Yes, I can finally fucking touch you?"
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Alex repeated the humming sound, "Umm humm," sending rumbling vibrations into Ivar's dick and through to his core.
Ivar groaned, "Fuck yes!" He leaned forward and grabbed Alex with one hand on his head, tangling his fingers in his hair. His other hand caressed what bit of Alex's arm and hand he could reach, still planted tightly on Ivar's hip. He left his hand on top of Alex's and laid back down on the bed.
Alex pulled Ivar's hips into him, striving for even more closeness, as he hungrily sank his mouth down over Ivar's entire cock. Ivar grunted at the feeling and his eyes rolled into the back of his head. Alex found his pace and began to rhythmically bob up and down on Ivar's cock, swirling his tongue all around as he did.
Animalistic sounds escaped Ivar's mouth as Alex worked his magic. Ivar's legs trembled, and body arched again as Alex moved his hand from his hip to cup his balls. He gently moved Ivar's balls in sync with the bobbing of his head, and it was simply driving Ivar insane. "Awww, hell! Fuck!" Ivar yelled. "I can't take anymore! I need you, Alex! Fuck!" He growled.
Alex ignored him and continued to suck on him. Hard. He went as far down on Ivar as he could, nearly causing himself to gag, and slowly sucked all the way back up to the tip of his dick as he looked up and into Ivar's eyes. When he reached the tip, he swirled his tongue around it, while simultaneously sucking, before letting his dick out of his mouth with a pop. Alex grinned as Ivar tensed and mumbled out obscenities, his hands now white knuckled and tangled in the sheets.
Alex kissed down the under side of Ivar's very stout manhood until he got to his balls. He flicked his tongue across them, feeling very relieved that Ivar loved grooming himself and was waxed bald, causing Ivar to hiss, sweat rolling down his temple.
Alex pushed both of Ivar's legs up and back, exposing better access to his ass. Ivar instantly clinched his cheeks together and Alex chuckled, "I promise I'm not going to hurt you, babe. Relax."
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Alex began kissing and sucking under Ivar's balls and to the soft skin between them and his hole. As he lightly nibbled the skin, Ivar yelled out incoherent words. Alex continued on, finally reaching Ivar's sensitive opening. He quickly licked across it, causing Ivar to jolt his hips forward. He then lowered his face and licked around the rim and began giving Ivar the most sensual kisses he'd ever received to a part of his body that wasn't his mouth.
Ivar's eyes widened as he looked down to Alex, in complete disbelief at how good this felt. He squirmed and panted, struggling to keep his breathing steady, as Alex practically made love to his ass with his mouth and tongue. It was like nothing Ivar had ever experienced before.
With his tongue flattened out, Alex then made a long, thick stroke from Ivar's hole, across his balls, and back up his twitching dick, finally sucking the tip back into his mouth. Ivar began to salivate at the sight below him as Alex instantly went back to his expert work.
One of Ivar's hands found it's way to Alex's hair, grabbing a handful, and tugged on it while the other nearly ripped a hole into the sheets. Alex kept bobbing up and down and Ivar knew he was close. He somehow managed to speak and said, "I-I'm so close. Wh-what about you, love?"
Alex raised a hand, not wanting to pull away from Ivar, and motioned his finger back and forth, saying no. Ivar answered, "Now, that's not fair. Turn your body around so that your crotch is in my face, and then we can pleasure eachother." Again, Alex waved his finger back and forth, saying no to Ivar.
Ivar wasn't able to protest as he lost complete control when Alex held onto his hips and greedily pulled him even closer and as deep into his mouth as possible. With a final hard suck and twirl of Alex's tongue, Ivar felt the heat raging within his body. "Al-Alex! I-I'm com..." Ivar moaned out, "MOVE! I'M COMING!"
Alex continued to hungrily suck Ivar, milking him for every drop, as Ivar groaned and growled through gritted teeth, shooting his load down Alex's throat.
Ivar's breathing was irratic as he pulled on Alex's shoulders, attempting to pull him back up his body. Alex quickly understood what Ivar wanted and slowly let his cock pop out of his mouth, licking his lips. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and seductively crawled back over Ivar.
Once he reached Ivar, face to face, Ivar began, "Oh fuck! I-I'm so sorry! I tried to warn you. Shit! I'm sorry."
Alex placed a finger over Ivar's lips, "Shhh. It's ok. I had time to move. I didn't want to. Even I am surprised at how much I enjoyed this." And it was true. Alex hadn't expected to let Ivar finish in his mouth but he enjoyed knowing that what he was doing directly affected Ivar so immensely that he wanted to "seal the deal" in a sense. He blushed, "Is it ok if I kiss you now?"
Looking deeply into Alex's eyes, Ivar answered, "Hell, yes!" and pulled Alex down and they began passionately kissing, tongues wrestling, hands roaming, chests heaving as they shared the air between them. As the realization of everything circled through his mind, Ivar broke the kiss and said, "Oh my God, Alex. That was another first for us and umm," he took a second to catch his breath, "That was pretty fucking amazing. To what do I owe this surprise?"
"Nothing. I just love you. Simple as that," Alex hummed and settled in the bed beside Ivar. "I'm actually sleepy again now."
Ivar grinned, "So, now I know how to keep you in bed past 7 am in the mornings, finally. Just wear you out with hot, steamy sex," they both chuckled. "Mental note taken. This should be fun." He kissed Alex on the forehead as his arms engulfed him, pulling him even closer than he already was. In a matter of minutes, they were both off to sleep again.
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"Guys! Mom's calling us down for breakfast! Hey, guys, wake up! Let's eat," Hvitserk knocked on Ivar's bedroom door and continued down the hall and downstairs when he heard Ivar grumble something back. "I guess they're coming, mom, but does that mean I have to wait on them? I'm starving."
Aslaug rolled her eyes at Hvitserk, "I don't believe I've ever seen you when you weren't. It won't kill you to wait five more minutes." She glanced over to you, "How do you put up with him, dear?"
You laughed nervously. You could definitely understand Alex's apprehension around her. If nothing else, she was certainly intimidating.
About that time, Ivar came bouncing down the stairs. "Good morning," he sang as he walked passed Hvitserk, thumping him in the back of his head. He rounded the table and took a seat.
"Damn, man, you sure seem happy. What's up with that?" Hvitserk grinned evily and Ivar kicked him under the table. "Where's Alex? I'm hungry," Hvitserk grumbled as you and Ivar laughed at him.
Aslaug turned from the coffee pot, placing cups in front of each of you. "Good morning, dear. Yes, where is Alex?"
Alex entered at that very moment, cheeks red as Aslaug and he made eye contact, and he sat down beside Ivar. Ivar placed his hand on top of Alex's, ignoring his wide eyed stare, and gently squeezed it. Alex couldn't help how nervous he was after the night's turn of events with Aslaug.
You noticed this and looked over at Alex questionly. He only shrugged his shoulders at you.
Things began to feel a little less stressful as the five of you ate. You all talked and laughed and discussed what a good cook Aslaug was.
Alex thanked her for breakfast and said he'd get the dishes, aiming for some brownie points. You took the plates to the kitchen with him and offered to help, seizing the opportunity to talk to him and ask what it was that you'd clearly missed. As the two of you began cleaning up from breakfast, Alex began telling you about what happened with Aslaug the night before.
Still sitting in the dining room, Aslaug looked at her two boys and then back to Ivar. "Ivar, we still need to have that talk. It's really important. Maybe after you two take them," and she motioned toward the kitchen, "back home."
"No, mom," Ivar interrupted her, "anything you can say to me, you can say in front of Alex. I'm sorry, mom, but he and I are together and we're in love. I hate you found out the way you did, but I really hope you can understand and accept that."
"That's not it at all, dear. It's just that, well, what I need to tell you is extremely important and very personal and I'm not even a hundred percent sure you'll want Hvitserk here."
"Honestly, mom, knowing that it's about Katia," Hvitserk nearly choked on his coffee as Ivar continued, "I'm seriously not even interested. That part of my life is over."
"Well, I have a feeling that all is going to change, dear," Aslaug answered him, "If you don't hear it from me, I'm sure she will find you herself."
You and Alex walked in at that very moment, not knowing you'd just saved Ivar. The tension in the room was thick as the two of you sat back down at the table. You looked at Hvitserk and you instantly knew how glad he was that you two came back when you did. He leaned over and kissed you quickly.
Ivar looked at Alex and then back to Aslaug, "Mom, I'm going to give Ivar a ride home now. I'll be back in time to drive you to the airport." Ivar didn't give her time to respond but stood and reached for Alex's hand. Alex looked up at him, placed his hand in his, and stood with him. He then followed Ivar up the stairs to his room.
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"What the hell was that all about?" Alex asked Ivar as he closed the door behind him.
Ivar turned to him, trying to let his stress roll off his shoulders. He stepped to Alex and hugged him tightly, burying his face in Alex's neck, breathing a sigh of relief. "Hey, hey, what is it? What happened?" Alex was concerned now.
Ivar pulled away from him and said, "Oh, it's just that mom is determined to give me this news of Katia's, and, Alex, I seriously don't want to hear it. I'm worried she'll wait until we're in the car ride to the airport, where I don't have another choice, and dump it all out on me."
Alex thought for a moment before responding. He didn't want to push Ivar's buttons but he had to ask, "Ivar, do you think it worries you so much because you may possibly still have feelings for her? And whatever this news is may just change how you see things?" Alex held his breath as he waited for Ivar's response.
Ivar stood straight and firmly answered, "Oh, God, no, Alex, not at all. I'm so sorry I've worried you." He held Alex's face between his hands and gave him a quick kiss. "That's not it. I just umm, well, I seriously feel like I owe her nothing. I know you know, I gave my all and then some and she just umm, she broke me," he sighed and dropped his head. "I'm actually worried of just the opposite. I'm worried what I may say to her, how mean and evil I know I'll be, and umm, the worst part is I don't feel sorry for it. I think it's better if she just leaves me alone. I don't want to feel like that again and I don't want to be cruel but I think I resent her for what she put me through and I don't want that to come out now. Not now that I'm finally over it and happy with my life, happier than I've ever been before." He kissed Alex once more, "And that's thanks to you. I don't want her ruining this, us."
Alex felt torn. He felt horrible for Ivar and all that he knew he'd been through and understood exactly where he was coming from but he also still felt worried. He couldn't help it. Even as Ivar spoke of her, Alex could only think about how hurt Ivar still sounded and felt like that meant that deep down, Ivar still had some kind of feelings for her. He hoped he was wrong and that Ivar would be able to keep to his plan but it was in the back of head now and he knew it would be until they knew what she wanted.
Alex decided not to press the subject. He would respect Ivar's decision and hope for the best. "Oh, come here," Alex stretched out his arms to Ivar and hugged him tightly. "I love you," he said in Ivar's ear as he brushed away his hair and kissed him on the side of his head. He felt Ivar begin to relax in his arms and he loved knowing he had this affect on him, that he was able to help him even if only a little. "Look, don't worry. If she starts to tell you anything you don't want to hear, just tell her. Refuse to listen. Hell, blast your radio," Alex laughed. "But, it will be time for you to take her soon so hey, can I get that ride now?"
Ivar perked up, "Oh, you can get that ride anytime you want, love," Ivar flirted.
Alex let go of him, face in his palm, and said, "Oh, what was I thinking? I should have chosen my words better. You're a mess. Let's go, hornball," Alex said, laughing, and the two of them left quickly, shouting goodbyes to everyone.
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It was 1 a.m., and Alex heard a knock at the door. Luckily, he was still awake, just finishing up some studying in bed, so he got up to see if it was who he hoped.
Looking through the peephole on his front door, Alex smiled. He opened the door, "To what do I owe this surprise?"
A drunken Ivar stumbled through the door, "I couldn't wait until tomorrow. I needed to see you now. Can I," he burped mid-sentence, "Can I stay here tonight?"
Alrx laughed, "Of course, babe. Come in." Alex looked out on the street and saw Hvitserk in Ivar's car. He waved and drove off.
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Alex helped Ivar as he stumbled through the apartment to Alex's bedroom. He pulled his t-shirt off and fell, face first, onto Alex's bed. "Are you ok, Ivar?"
"Yes," Ivar answered, "Umm, can I have a glass of water?"
When Alex returned with a water, to his surprise, Ivar was sitting up against the headboard. "Thank you," Ivar told Alex as he grabbed the glass and drank all of the water in one huge gulp. "Can I just lay here with you, love?"
"Of course, you can, but Ivar, what's wrong?" Alex felt extremely uneasy. He knew something had happened. He just wasn't sure what.
"Umm, not what you think. Don't worry, but umm, yes, Katia," Ivar's voice sounded cold.
Alex's heart sank. He hadn't went to the bar tonight because he had a big exam on Monday that he desperately needed to study for and he knew they'd be busy tomorrow because the two of them were supposed to go visit Alex's mom.
Now that he saw how Ivar was and knew he'd seen Katia, he could only assume Ivar was heartbroken all over again, and it scared him to his core. "Ivar, umm, what happened then?Umm, what did she tell you?"
Ivar moved closer to Alex and Alex, sensing exactly what he needed, wrapped his arms around him tightly, and waited for him to get his thoughts together.
Ivar sighed and began, "First off, yes, I've been drinking, but no, I'm not shitfaced and even though I apparently have no balance," he laughed, "I am thinking clearly and will remember this conversation."
He was so precisely clear that Alex knew he was telling the truth. "Ok, noted, but ummm, what do I not know, Ivar? What did she say?"
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Ivar stiffened up in Alex's arms as be began again, "Alex, she came to the fucking bar to find me. She only just saw my mom yesterday and tonight she already brought her smart-ass to the bar, looking for me. The one fucking night when you weren't with me." He sat back up beside Alex in the bed and ran his hands through his hair. "Alex, when I saw her, all these emotions came rushing through me. She was just as beautiful as she always was, if not more, if that's even possible and..."
Alex placed his fingers over Ivar's mouth, interrupting him, "That's enough. I can't fucking sit here and listen to you tell me how beautiful your fucking ex fiance still is. Just break it off with me already and stop torturing me for fuck's sake." Alex's voice was cold and harsh even though he really was about to completely crumble inside. The very thing he'd been worried about was happening.
Ivar reached his left hand across Alex's body and cupped his right cheek, turning his face toward him. "No, Alex. No, that's not what I'm saying. Not at all. Let me finish, love. She was beautiful, yes, but when I saw her, the emotions that flooded my view, my heart, and my soul were emotions about you! I saw her and her beauty, and all I could think about was getting back home to you. I felt no love for her at all. It just made me realize just how much I do love you. She has no power over me now! Do you realize how empowering that is for me? I didn't even feel hate, Alex, and that, I totally expected to feel. I had no desire to get even with her or hurt her or be cruel or rude to her. I simply felt nothing. And yes, I could see how pretty she still is. I mean, I'm not blind, but it meant nothing to me." Ivar smiled as he wiped a tear from Alex's cheek.
"However, I still have no wish to talk to her. I don't care what she has to say. She's a stranger to me now. I was going to have one of the bouncers throw her out, but even that felt wrong so I had a few celebratory shots with Hvitserk, well, you know, he had coke, and then I asked him to bring me here. I had to see you. I had to tell you I love you! I love you, Alex, with all my heart, body, and soul. I never want to leave you. You're my world."
Alex was completely stunned out of his mind. That all was totally unexpected. He thought this conversation was going to end with the two of them breaking up and calling it quits altogether. He stared into Ivar's eyes, "I, umm, I thought you were ending it. I thought you and Katia were getting back together. Umm, you've shocked me. I, uh, I love you, too," Alex's eyes were full of tears that he tried to blink away.
Ivar leaned over to him, "Not a chance!" and he gave him a sloppy kiss. "I told you, you can't get rid of me that easily."
"So you still don't know what she wants then, huh?"
"No, and I don't care," Ivar had never been so sure of anything else before. Alex, on the other hand, still had an uneasy feeling about it all, but he tried his best to ignore it.
The two laid there, wrapped in eachother's arms, which was quickly becoming one of their favorite ways to sleep, and slowly drifted off to sleep.
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Alex and Ivar had planned to go visit Alex's mom on Sunday. They'd always went by to see her a Sunday or two each month, even back when they were only friends, and she'd been calling Alex to ask when they were coming next. She told him that it had been too long and she was beginning to get worried.
On the drive there, Alex asked Ivar about Aslaug. "So, how was the trip to the airport yesterday?"
"It actually wasn't all that bad. Mom told me that the more she thought about it, she felt like it wasn't her place to tell me whatever this big thing is with Katia. She told me she was going to let me talk to Katia on my own time and on my terms and said I can call her if I need her," Ivar sounded so pleased but it didn't make Alex feel any better at all.
Alex swallowed thickly, "And umm, what umm, what about us? What did she say about that?" Alex could only imagine.
"She actually didn't mention walking in on us at all! So you know me, I didn't either," Ivar laughed. "I'll wait and let her ask about us or say something whenever she's ready. I'm sure she just has to take time to just process it all."
Alex looked over at him and said, "Well, hopefully, when she does mention it, she will be ok with it all."
"Don't worry, love," Ivar reassured him, "I'm sure she will. Now, what about Mama Hogh? Are we telling her today or what?"
Alex's heart stopped, "Umm, I honestly don't know. I think I'm equally worried about her reaction, too."
"Well, look, no pressure. I'll leave it all up to you. It doesn't have to be today. I have you with me whether she knows or not, so I'm all good. I'll take your lead with this," Ivar's words didn't really help Alex feel any better but at least he knew he didn't have to tell his mom anything if it didn't feel right.
Alex was truly thankful for Ivar's understanding. He hadn't expected that telling their parents about their relationship would be such a difficult task but he realized it was because of not wanting to let them down, not wanting to burst their bubble about not having grandkids and he wondered if this was true for other same sex couples. He knew if he had the opportunity to stay with Ivar from now on, he would, and he knew that meant no child to carry on his name. He just wasn't sure how his mother would take that, and it definitely worried him.
He knew there were other options for them to raise a child together, but they'd certainly never discussed anything like that. They hadn't even discussed where they saw their relationship headed, and he was ok with that, so he wasn't planning on rocking that boat anytime soon. All he knew was that he loved Ivar like no other and he was happy just the way they were. Now, to tackle the subject with his mom.
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After the two of them helped her in the kitchen, preparing their meal, Ivar, Alex, and his mom sat down at the table to eat. She had watched them the entire time because they seemed almost as one, in sync, and so happy and well, different.
"Ok, what are you guys not telling me? Spill it," she asked, looking straight at them both.
Alex squirmed a little in his seat, and she didn't miss it. He and Ivar looked at eachother and then back to her. In the calmest voice he could muster, Alex answered, "What do you mean, mom?"
"Aww, don't you try to play that innocent game with me. You know I see straight through it. I don't know, there's just something different about the two of you, and you're trying to hide it. But boys, you're failing miserably, so just tell me. You know Mama Hogh knows her boys better than this."
Alex wanted to tell his mom, but not like this, when he was put on the spot so unexpectedly. He needed to prepare himself for her reaction, and right now, he had no idea what that would be. So he tried, desperately, to change the subject. "Mom, when is Anna and her new boyfriend coming to finally meet us? I miss her, and I'd love to finally meet this guy who is taking up all of her time."
She stuck her finger up and shook it back and forth at him. "Oh, no, mister. You're not getting out of this that easily. We'll talk about Anna later. We have all evening anyway. Before you make me worry, just tell me, Alex, what are you hiding?"
Ivar just looked at Alex to handle everything. He knew he was the one not ready to tell his mom. Ivar, however, didn't mind at all to tell her. He didn't think her reaction was going to be quite the world stopper that Alex seemed to believe. So he just settled in letting Alex answer her in whatever way he felt fit.
Determined, Alex finally answered, "Seriously, mom, what do you think we're hiding? We simply just came for dinner with you while dad's out of town. The same as we always have. What is there that's different?"
"Well, I'm hoping the two of you finally figured out what I've already known for quite some time now and that you're happy about it. I won't say what I'm thinking, though, because if I'm wrong, it would be super embarrassing, so you're just going to have to come clean."
Alex and Ivar both gulped, and their eyes were wide with shock now. "May I use your restroom, mom?" Ivar asked, trying to leave this uncomfortable situation.
"No, you may not! I am waiting for one of you to tell me what it is that you're hiding. I'm not dropping it until you spill the beans. Alex Hogh Andersen, out with it!"
Alex was already giving up. He knew how stubborn his mom could be. He knew that was a quality he'd definitely gotten from her. He looked at Ivar, who knodded, so he decided to answer her truthfully this time. "Well, mom, ummm Ivar and I umm, well, we're together."
"No shit. I'm not blind. So? Continue," she answered, not quite understanding what he meant.
"No, I mean, we're together, together, mom. Like as a couple."
The room was filled with silence. One of her hands covered her mouth as she placed the other over her heart, her eyes filling with tears.
Ivar's heart sank. He had so not expected this. Not for a second. If she had been anyone else, he would have definitely told her what she could do with her tears, and they'd be leaving immediately. This was supposed to be a happy time, a time for the two of them to celebrate. And now, his heart was breaking and even more for Alex. He knew what his mom's opinion meant to him.
Alex reached out and placed his hand over hers on her heart. "See, mom? This is why I didn't want to tell you. We're actually really, really happy with this, and I hoped you could be happy for us as well. It's all still so new to us both. I didn't think now was the right time to tell you as we are still adjusting ourselves. If you can't accept it, we can give you time. We can leave, mom, but this isn't something that your tears are going to be able to change. I, umm, I love Ivar, mom." He squeezed her hand and fought his own tears. His words hurt him so much.
She abruptly stood up from the table and reached out to Alex. She blurted out, all at once, "No way! I don't want you guys to leave! You misunderstand my tears, dear. I am absolutely thrilled for you! I am happy, Alex. I'm so happy to see you happy! I knew it! I've known for a long time. Before you two knew. You've been more than just friends for quite a while, but you were both just too damn stubborn to give it a chance! Oh, thank God you came to your senses! Now come here and give Mama a hug!"
Alex was completely dumbfounded. He definitely had not expected that. He stood up and hugged her so tightly, tears streaming down his face. "Oh, mom. Thank you so much. You don't know the burden you've just lifted off my shoulders. I was so worried you'd hate me."
"Oh, Alex, don't be silly. Always so dramatic." She looked at Ivar, still sitting at the table and watching them in complete shock. "Ivar, get up here and hug Mama Hogh. You've always been my second son, and now, you really are, and I need to let you know how happy you've made me, choosing my son."
Ivar did as he was told, and the three of them stood in a group hug. Ivar, however, fought back his tears. He wasn't that comfortable yet.
They finally sat back down at the table to finish their meal, all smiles. Alex couldn't help his curiosity, so he just asked her flat out, "Mom, what's made you so accepting of this? Of us?"
After thinking for a second, she finally answered him. "Well, aside from the fact that I've always adored Ivar, here, and am happy if you are, I've learned from my own mistakes."
"Meaning?" Alex pressed.
"Well, meaning I couldn't bear to know your heartbreak was my fault again. I should have never told you to leave," and she looked at Ivar nervously, "Umm, to leave her who should not be named back in Paris."
Alex swallowed thickly, and he answered softly, "Mom, you didn't tell me to leave her."
"Well, no," she answered, "But I told you to bring her home with you and that whatever happened, not to stay there but to return home, her by your side if that's what it took. It was selfish of me, sweetheart. I guilted you into returning, probably when you would have chosen to stay. And I will always regret it and will always be deeply sorry I did that to you. I wasn't blind to your heartbreak, and the guilt of knowing it was my fault will always haunt me. I'm so deeply sorry, dear." She dropped her head and placed her hand over Alex's on the table.
He sat in awkward silence for a moment. The memories of everything she'd just mentioned still stung him a bit, he had to admit, but he knew his mom didn't know the entire story. She wasn't entirely to blame, as she thought, but now was not the time to open that can of worms. "Mom, nothing is your fault. There's so much more to that story, and none of it is important now. Don't hold yourself accountable for the good or bad things that have happened in my personal life. I'm just happy you accept Ivar and I, regardless of the reason."
Ivar sat in silence and just continued to listen. He made a mental note to later talk with Alex about this broad in Paris. Should he be worried? He'd thought he knew everything about Alex, but he'd never heard about her, and apparently, she must have been someone he cared a great bit for. But now wasn't the time, so he just listened.
His mom lifted her head and responded to Alex, "Well, that's good to hear, but you understand. And," she glanced over at Ivar, "That's not the only reason I accept you two as a couple. I love Ivar, and I know he's good for you and will make you happy for a very long time if you allow him to." She squeezed Ivar's hand now. "The two of you are the perfect couple, and have you looked in the mirror, dear? You are absolutely glowing! You are radiating love and happiness, and you deserve them both."
They both smiled at her words. Alex's heart skipped a beat as well. He knew she was right, but for her to actually put a name to it surprised him. Love and happiness. Love. That she was able to see how they felt about eachother meant the world to him.
"Wait! Oh my God! Wait until your dad learns of this. He's going to be beside himself that you've finally taken the next step with Ivar, dear. When he sees your happiness, he's going to bubble over. He's said forever that he wanted to see you happy with anyone."
Alex sheepishly began to answer her. "Umm mom? Uh, how do I say this? Umm, Dad already knows."
"What? You told your dad before you told me? Just how difficult do you believe me to be?" she snapped.
"We didn't exactly tell him. Umm, he walked in on us in the garage last weekend." Alex dropped his head as he smiled. Ivar coughed, trying not to laugh.
"What?! Are you serious? The two of you were making love in our garage?" Her mouth gaped open and she covered it with her hand.
"NO! Oh God, mom, no! What do you think we have a bedroom for? Dad walked in on us kissing! That's all, KISSING!" He had to smile, though, that she actually said 'making love.' She really was ok with this.
Ivar could take no more, and he busted out laughing. Nearly in tears, he said, "Well, I don't know, Alex. I could easily bend you over the hood of your dad's Mustang."
At that exact moment, Alex's dad walked through the door. "Hey, guys, umm, wait. What's wrong with the hood of my Mustang?" He looked at the three of them in a complete panic for his car.
"Nothing, dear. These boys are being ridiculous." Alex's mom answered. "Welcome home."
She picked up her napkin from the table and smacked Ivar with it. "Boy, you hush! Now, I'm not that old. I remember what it's like to be all hot and bothered, and you have to take care of business wherever you can, but you better keep the hoods of our cars and the garage out of it! You boys hear me?" And she popped Alex with the same napkin as he threw his arms up in a blocking motion.
"Mom! Please! I don't need to hear you talking about being hot and bothered and taking care of business. Ever. Oh my God." Alex dropped his head into his hands. Ivar just continued laughing.
After making a plate for Thomas as well, the four of them finished their lunch and sat around the table talking and laughing. It was just great and Alex was absolutely overjoyed at his parents' acceptance. His family had always been close and knowing they accepted Ivar as a happy addition meant everything to him. This was so much better than how their weekend had started off.
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"I know you have that exam tomorrow and need to study, but do you think you have time for us to stop by the park on the way back to your place?" Ivar asked Alex as they pulled away from his parents'.
"Yes, I have time. We actually left mom's sooner than I'd expected," Alex answered, curious of the sudden change of plans, "Are you wanting to get a quick jog in?"
"Well, actually, I have a blanket in the trunk, and it's the first nice day in weeks. I'd umm," he blushed, "I'd honestly just like to spend some time with you, just the two of us, by the little stream at the back of the park. If umm, if that sounds ok with you."
Alex was taken back. Where had this side of Ivar been all these years? If this was any indication of how he treated his girlfriends in the past, no wonder all the women seemed to always flock to him. He felt warmth spread throughout his body, and he smiled. "Yes, Ivar, that sounds great. It really has been a long weekend. It will be nice to spend some quality time with you just enjoying your company."
They arrived at the spot Ivar had mentioned and he spread the blanket down. They both laid down, propped up on their arms, facing eachother. "This is such a nice spot, Ivar. Thanks for thinking of this," Alex smiled. He started to lean toward Ivar for a kiss but then realized how many other people were in the park and he refrained.
Ivar noticed this and asked, "What? What stopped you?"
"Well," Alex looked around, "I just didn't feel like defending us yet again. It's too nice of a day for you to end up in a fight."
Ivar laughed, "It's never too nice a day for a good fight, especially if I'm defending my love for you." He placed his hand on the back of Alex's neck and pulled him closer. He breathed in Alex's sweet smell and slowly kissed him, swirling his tongue around Alex's. He pulled away, his forehead resting on Alex's and softly said, "I love you." Nobody around them seemed to care. Nobody said or did anything but kept on about their day. That was so relieving to Alex and he began to feel more comfortable.
They talked and laughed and discussed all the ups and downs of the weekend. They really enjoyed eachother's company, this had always been true, but now that they were together, it just made it all real. They were slowly getting into the swing of things and getting used to what it was to be in a relationship with eachother. It felt so natural to them both, and it seemed that they were finally finding their groove.
Alex saw movement out of the corner of his eye and as hard as it was to look away from Ivar's sparkling eyes, he looked up, over Ivar's shoulder and saw someone walking up the trail behind him. He couldn't see her face because she was looking down at something in her arms, and the sun was shining so brightly, but he was sure it was Katia. He didn't know if she'd spotted them or not but decided he needed to tell Ivar in case she just walked up on them.
"Umm, Ivar?" Alex said.
"Yes, love?"
"Umm, I don't know if she's seen us yet but I'm pretty sure that's Katia walking the trail behind you."
Ivar gulped. He discretely turned around as Alex told him she wasn't looking their way. "Shit. Yes, that's her. What is she carrying?"
"I can't tell," Alex answered, both of them trying to see.
About that time, they saw her stumble and fall down, still holding whatever was in her arms tightly. She yelled and was then quiet.
"Fuck!" Alex yelled, as he quickly got to his feet alongside Ivar. "Did she hit her head?"
They both quickly ran over to her, not stopping to think. "Shit, Ivar," Alex said as he squatted down to Katia, "The side of her head is bleeding!" He looked up at Ivar, standing over Katia in what could only be described as a complete state of shock. "Oh, God! What? What is it?"
About that time, Alex heard what Ivar was looking at in shock. A baby began crying. Alex's heart completely stopped. He raised up to where the sound was coming from and in Katia's locked arms laid a baby girl with thick brown hair. Alex instinctively grabbed her up and out of Katia's arms to search that she was ok and wasn't bleeding anywhere as well.
With his touch, she simmered down some and stopped crying. He began talking to her as if he knew anything about babies, "Are you okay, little one? Are you hurt anywhere?"
She grasped his finger with her hand and said with her baby voice, "Ma-ma," as she looked up at him. Staring up at Alex were a pair of the prettiest, bluest eyes he'd ever seen. Well, the prettiest, bluest ever besides those of Ivar's. And then, it hit him.
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😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱
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@istorkyou @vero-maris-zamo @chapada010101010 @lostasalice-thisway @ivarhoegh @lonewolf471 @lemonsarepink @covidinducedsocialreject @tessakate
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martyreasemymind · 10 months ago
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For the wip thing, the scar that I don't see anymore?
(starting to think i should have listed all of those as one story whoops)
this is in the same series as I Would Swallow the Sun (which i talked about here and here) and is from the perspective of Ivar. Ivar is the youngest of Ragnar's sons and by far the most erratic and dysfunctional. he was born with an unspecified bone disorder which makes walking unaided impossible and has left him alienated and in pain his entire life. his family's preexisting dysfunction and complete inability to handle his disability worsened his mental state and made him into a conniving and deeply insecure adult who has a tendency to demand love from everyone around him and destroy them when he doesn't get it.
Ivar and Hvitserk have the most complex relationship out of all the brothers imo, and it's no different in this au. after Hvitserk's exile from the family Ivar is the only one who has contact with him, though inconsistently. ivar does love his brother and hates the path he's gone down. when he's made aware of the 'secret' he is the most fiercely protective over Hvitserk and is quick to lash out at the other's over their treatment over him. however, Ivar himself is guilty of some of the worst crimes against Hvitserk, which is something he has to contend with and heal from throughout the story.
(he is by far the most difficult brother for me to write, as evidenced by the fact that his portion is made primarily of snippets of conversations rather than full vignette. i tell myself it's minimalism lol)
Excerpts:
-
He’s difficult. He knows that.
Ivar looks down at his phone notifying him of another missed call from Ubbe. Another carefully mild voicemail about needing to talk.
It takes three days for him to lose his patience.
“Goddammit Ivar, pick up your fucking phone!”
Ivar smiles at the crackling sound of Ubbe’s fussing. He’d never admit but sometimes he misses being a child if only for the more ample chances to irritate his eldest brother.
He finally decides to answer one evening once he’s returned to his apartment after the gym, hands still smelling of his archery gloves’ worn leather. He sets his legs on the coffee table and picks under his nails as the phone rings, amused by how it only takes a few seconds before Ubbe answers.
“Hello Ub-”
“Why the fuck don’t you answer your phone?”
“I’ve a lot on my plate, Ubbe. I figured you could understand that.”
He can practically see Ubbe rolling his eyes.
“Why didn’t you just text me?”
“Because I need to talk to you.”
Ivar feels his eyebrows jump in mock surprise, a little disappointed his brother isn’t there to see it.
“Am I in trouble, Ubbe?”
“No, you’re not- why does- No.”
-
People whispered about him. They still do. It isn’t a secret. Not that he wouldn’t notice even if it was.
They whispered about Hvitserk too. Eventually. And in the howling isolation of his youth it almost felt like communion.
-
“I still hear you, crying.”
Ivar turned, eyeing his strung out brother as he laid curled up on his leather sofa.
“In the middle of the night. It wakes me up.”
He felt himself bristle, suddenly overcome with agitation.
“I don’t do that anymore.”
Hvitserk smirked, eyes closed.
“Then who’s been waking me up?”
-
“You know you can’t keep a secret from her.”
Ivar whips around and glares.
“You can’t keep a secret. The rest of us are perfectly capable.”
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couldtransitionsaveher · 9 months ago
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IVAR THE BONELESS from VIKINGS
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JUSTIFICATION:
"pathetic weak sexually repressed freak who is so insecure and desperate to prove her own masculinity that she tortured and murdered people over it. also has the most insane mommy issues of any character ever." - Anonymous
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