#inner west child psychology
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Hello....Do you mind if I ask your top 5 (or top 10) favorite moments from any media that you love (books, anime/manga, tv series, movies, games, etc)? Thanks if you want to answer. Sorry if I ask too much....
Hi!
Thank you for the fun ask. So, I don't think these are gonna be my all times favourites because like... there are too many and I am bound to forget many ones I love LOL... So, I will just write down some moments that come to mind from different medium in no particular order... Tbh they are probably going to be influenced by my current mood and not exhaustive at all?
Once Upon a Time in America - The reveal of who Senator Bailey is. It is the twist the whole movie is built on and the reveal is powerfully done without words thanks to the clever use of the same child actor for father and son. By seeing how the son looks like, you immediately realize who the father is. (Runner up for this moment is Morton's death in Once Upon A Time in the West, another movie by Leone - poetic and thematically poignant)
Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? - The reveal the religion of Mercerism is a lie. It drives home the irony of empathy being used as a weapon to discriminate instead of a weapon to understand others. Brilliant! (Runner up for this moment is the door asking for money to open herself up in Ubik, another book by Dick - capitalism at its finest)
Monster - The Red Roses Mansion's reveal. It is still one of my favourite twists ever. It is beautifully foreshadowed and it is an example of a twist that really makes the story better. In the sense, it is not just surprising, but it adds a lot of depth to both the twins and the themes. It completely deconstructs the bad twin and good twin archetype.
Psycho Pass - Akane's inner sequence, where she confronts all the people she met and answers the questions she had no answer for previously. It is a beautiful way to show Akane's growth and psychological process. It is also a very powerful way to affirm the themes of the series.
RWBY - Penny's death. I was not expecting it and was actually worried they were missing the mark with Penny's arc. To see them deliver such a wonderful and powerful ending for this character had my trust in the series renewed.
I tried to choose one moment from my favourite mediums (movies, books, manga, anime and indie animation). Of course the list isn't exhaustive and there are TONS of other memorable moments tbh... Just considering series like HxH, Hazbin or Oshi no Ko, I could write many many lists. Let's say these are moments that have stuck with me throughout time, so here there are.
Thank you for the ask :)
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Hasta
Traits of Hasta Nakshatra 10° 00’ to 23 ° 20 Virgo
Meaning
Hasta mean ‘the hand’. Hasta is connected to the elephant and it is in fact another name of elephant. The elephant’s trunk is extra hand he uses it to do all its jobs. Hasta Nakshatra is where we think we can achieve whatever we desire and therefore can concentrate on our own efforts and forget the divine blessings that come with it. The Elephant is an important animal as it is link to lord Ganesha and Brishpati.
Planetary Ruler – The Moon
Hasta develops potential through self-efforts and understanding the laws of nature. The Moon ruler ship of this Nakshatra makes for changing perspectives and moving realties. Hasta has the quality for the individual to change, and to grow in different directions.
These people can be moody and they reflect the waxing and wanning phases of the Moon. Although they appear confident and in control, the inner self is vulnerable, insecure and in conflict, as they are always questioning themselves.
Kanya Rashi (Virgo Sign)
Hasta is entirely in Virgo. Hasta people can know everything or at least think that they know it all. But this is the aspect that can either give them immense power or restrict their personal growth. They feel by controlling the flow of their destiny, they can become what the soul wants them to be. The people genuinely believe that they can change their relationships to suit their way and this can lead them into partnerships that are inherently flawed.
🚦 Planets in Hasta 🚦
Planets in various Navamsa of Hasta. Starting with Aeries Navamsa: Mercury may perform well or very well here whereas Saturn and Rahu may perform well but not very well. Saturn is debilitated in Aeries and Rahu is not strong in the sihn. Moon may perform above average or well in this Navamsa; since it may do well in Aeries as well as Virgo and it has great comfort in Hasta.
Sun and Mars may perform above average here. Sun is exalted in Aeries and Mars is strong in this sign. Jupiter in its purest form is simple, clean and innocent like a child whereas Hasta is a master at the art of deception. Jupiter may find maximum discomfort in Hasta.
Venus may perform below average or poorly in this Navamsa. Venus is not strong in Aeries, it is debilitated in Virgo and it is not comfortable in Hasta.
Ketu may perform below average in this Navamsa; since it is debilitated in Virgo but it is strong on Aeries. Among all planets Mercury may be the strongest in this Navamsa and Venus may be the weakest.
Symbol – The Hand
Its symbol is the hand. The hand reflects the destiny of an individual and their individual efforts. The right and left hands are positive and negative, male and female energies, past and future lives. The four fingers of the hand show the four motivations : Artha, Kama, Dharma and Moksha, and the four directions: North, South, East and West. The three digits on the fingers are the three are the three gunas or psychological qualities : Rajas, Tamas, and Satva; and the three Ayurvedic doshas: Vata, Pitta and Kapha. The fingers and thumbs show the twelve zodiac signs, and the joints of the thumbs and fingers together number 30, or the thirty days of the solar month. The hand also reflects the solar system and its planets. To write about all we can see from the hand is to complete an entire field of knowledge, a knowledge which is reflected in the Hasta Nakshatra. They are masters of knowledge.
Puranic Myth – Gayatri Mantra
The Gayatri Mantra is found in the Rig-Veda (Rig-Veda III/62/10) and in three other vedas too. It is chanted to invoke Savitar, the Spirtual Sun, and through him Parabrahman (Eternity). While we can all see the physical Sun, the spiritual aspirant wants the Sun to reveal its inner light and bring enlightenment. It is chanted three times a day at times known as three sandhyas : morning, midday and evening. The main function of Gayatri is to free the souls from the bondage of Maya (illusion). At the Hasta stage the soul is stuck in materialism and needs to invoke the higher power and see the inner world, so regular chanting of Gayatri Mantra will help Hasta people develop their higher selves and free them from their material ties.
Regards----- Anurag Saxena
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Conscious Parenting is AoL Mindfulness Training Book 5, a mindful living course designed for parents. This 12 modules personal development course is designed for parents. Using self-development techniques to support “positive parenting”, the ultimate goal is the physical, mental and emotional health of the whole family. Within parenting, the goal is to promote: an unobstructed learning from nature and freedom in the learning environment. Conscious living, through adopting a sustainable life-style, empowers eco-living, art, music, social bonding, the mind training with practices of mindfulness for kids and parents, developing emotional intelligence, creative thinking, and offering alternatives for modern technology. “Knowing that every woman and man is a star is one thing, walking the path while giving the individuals empowerment to act, within this matrix of choices, is something totally different. If we are not ready for the Cosmos manifesting in all its forms within our little ones, including rebellion, we will subdue his or her life-force.” Inspired by Waldorf educational model, and Finland educational system, with personal-development tools to look into parenting goals, dreams and priorities. In 2018 the book was voted as one of 5 of the best Personal Development Courses for kids and parents and had been on a number of Goodreads users’ lists for the Best Books for Parents. The book excerpts were published in the Sunday Times of Malta as Alternative Education Articles, and the Wikihow views hit the 900,000 views. As a Conscious Parent we acknowledge that "every child is an individual with a different growth rate and a potential that is varied and vast. Respecting the needs of these beautiful souls, listening to their unique voices, hearing their wants will assure them that no matter how tiny they are somebody will kneel down to Listen. Respecting the potential that is hidden within each child, we respect their potential to become Kings of their Trade, or Saviours of the World to come." Nataša Pantović, Conscious Parenting Course Ivana Milosavljevic, Mgr. Education Special Needs Message from Ivana the Conscious Parenting Consultant involved in the building of creativity and mindfulness exercises. 'Dear Parents, this book works with some essential parenting questions:
Is there such a thing as an ideal parent and an ideal growing environment
What is it that our little ones need to grow into happy, independent and fulfilled human beings
How to understand the needs of these gentle and pure souls
The Conscious Parenting Course was born out of these Magic Questions answering the secrets of how to travel within this most difficult journey. 'It is possible to get it RIGHT if we stick to the very basic principle of Self-Development and Spiritual Growth: encouraging within our children a strong capacity for feeling, rich soul experiences, with a capacity for strong mental growth and a potential for strong willpower.' But we can not do it alone. I keep saying to my kids: Please help me become a better and more loving parent! The course utilizes a variety of tools: mindfulness exercises, personality questionnaires, setting true personal goals, inner exploration through writing and drawing, creativity exercises, etc. With applied psychology exercises from both East and West philosophical schools, the course explores exercises to improve behavior patterns, understand the dynamics of subconscious mind and conscious thoughts, explores emotions, training mind powers through mindfulness and the willpower exercises, looking into goals, dreams, and building the personal development plans.
#conscious parenting#nataša pantović#consciousness#mind#mindfulness#conscious living#aol#personal growth and development#personal development#self love#self care#self improvement#self ship#positive mindset#positive parenting#simplicity parenting#Natasha Pantovich#Nataša Pantović
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Our Lady and ACE
Our Lady and ACE!
To you, my brothers and sisters in Rome, called to be saints (Romans 1:7).
The years I was kicked out of the church on my ass; being continually told I was "inherently evil," and what the "true interpretation" of the Scriptures said of my being gay I hated the Church, I hated the male God.
But one night after a long night of whoring, I entered the Cathedral in L.A. and sat down before the statue of Our Lady of Guadalupe, and within me her voice rang out, "You were called from before you were born to preach, go and preach the Gospel," and that was the beginning of my returning to ministry, of returning to a life of joy!
For the Divine Feminine brings a sense of well being in our alienation and uncertainty. She responds from a heart loving all without prejudice.
Our wildness in chaos is at home in her mystery! She too is filled with ambiguity and paradox, so therefore in our own struggles, we can find a sense of welcome. She brings us back to a welcoming inner place in her Son.
It is in ambiguity and paradox in which our brothers and sisters who are not straight live, we are not black and white, in particular our transgender and asexual brothers and sisters.
Transgenders are born into their wrong gender, a mistake of nature, a psychologically damning mistake. They come alive in transforming their genders. Nature makes mistakes. I have many friends who simply want talk about the subject of being queer, let along our transgender or asexual brothers and sisters . After all God simply creates us man or woman, or so we are told. (HA!) Science has proved otherwise.
Yet we see our transgender brothers and sisters beat up, murdered, and discriminated against in our schools and States. They have trouble getting health care and finding jobs.
And talking about one who is asexual is for many even more confusing and scary. Asexuality or (ace) is a sexual orientation in which a person experiences little or no sexual attraction. That is abnormal in a culture in which both secular and religious culture assert that everyone wants sex.
Since 2013 the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders have stated if "the life of an individual has been since an early age explained by one's self-identification as "asexual", that life is healthy."
Whether or not we understand our transgender and asexual brothers and sisters, we need to work at understanding, and accepting each one as a child of God, of humanity. We need to look within ourselves and see what causes us to label others.
Labeling is one of the most destructive tools used in politics, culture and sexuality.
I know what alienation and uncertainty has meant to me through the years, and now.
Not being straight, working with homeless, and disenfranchised youth of every race, creed, and sexual orientation, reaps much hatred, and alienation. My body bears the marks of the hatred.
Becoming brothers and sisters, without judgment to any color, sexual orientation, or other faiths helps us truly recenter truly traditional Jesus values and expands the kinds of relationships that can be fostered in our faith communities.
Our faith communities have failed for the most part in this out of fear, and old ways of looking at the Scripture and theology. It is time to use new wine skins for new wines!
The Trovor Project every day walks with all people of the queer community, and especially with our Transgender and Asexual brothers and sisters manifesting complete love, acceptance.
The Trevor Project's hotline is one of only a few where LGBTQ? youth can call, and find support.
We are "called to be saints". Saints are one's who continue to shoot the arrow, always missing the mark, but continue down the road towards perfection. Deo Gratias! Thanks be to God!
----------------------------------------
The Trevor Project
PO Box 69232
West Hollywood, CA 90069 US
212-695-8650
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I have walked as of today, 24 miles, and a number of people have donated to The Trevor Project, walking along with me at least in spirit, to the total thus far of $1500.00, so join me in our walk, and thank you from the bottom of my heart!
===========================
Fr. River Damien Sims, sfw, D.Min., D.S.T.
P.O. Box 642656
San Francisco, CA 94164
www.temenos.org
415-305-2124
=================================
Let Love Ache
Father, give me the courage to keep on loving.
when others keep on hurting.
help me to live an achy love, a gritty,
persistent and emptying love;
a love that’s not afraid to flow toward the other
who has little left to offer in return.
And may I tread faithfully with heaven
through the unfinished work that surrounds me.
Commoners_Communion
Strahan Coleman
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001
I’m not going to start writing until I start writing, so I’m just gonna ease into this with a first post, I guess.
I think that a lot of the causes behind depression are unmet needs. I experience what I’d objectively call pretty severe depression, and I recognize that due to not having my needs met, by myself or by others where applicable, I felt a sensation of pretty urgent distress and anxiety, which was drawn out over a long time.
In my career I did a lot of audio editing and show notes for a podcaster who emphasizes “inner child work,” “parenting yourself as an adult,” and other pain points for parents. I think it’s safe to say that at the time of writing (January 2023), most parents in the West, and in the United States in particular, did not get what they needed most as children, which was compassionate care appropriate to their age and stage. I love my parents dearly. I know they tried really hard. And I know that they messed me up pretty badly. (I sense that other millennials are feeling this way too, which lends urgency to our collective push toward mental health awareness, healing trauma, reparenting ourselves, and so on.)
My mom was full of passive-aggressive energy, easily-hurt feelings, and sarcasm as a coping mechanism, inherited from her parents — who surely got it from theirs. On my dad’s side, my grandpa inherited all kinds of baggage from his dad. Grandpa became a yeller, a stomper, and a door-slammer. My dad learned that pattern and, against his own will, reenacted it raising me. But I can’t blame my parents, my grandparents, my great-grandparents, or any other progenitors, for doing what they did. Every generation in my family has suffered real, permanent psychological damage because the generations before lacked the tools, knowledge, and wisdom to absorb their traumas.
Frankly, the ever-present need to be working just to afford to exist has not helped. American work culture (what an oxymoron, work “culture”) values “grind” and “hustle,” but these are the fleeting qualities of youthful energy. If a man has not been given appropriate care of body and mind — and if he is not armed with the right knowledge or sense of self-worth — he will not know how to turn “grind” into sustainable success. Once his energies are expended, there is no regaining them without a long rest.
And at any rate, no man can be spiritually well if he lacks the time during each day to breathe and self-assess. Weekends don’t count — that’s scarcely enough time to do the household tasks that got left undone during the whole week! No, we as a society are are too far entrenched into automation and easy wealth creation to continue to justify playing the slave driver, demanding eight-hour days and forty-hour weeks and paying peasants’ wages when adjusting for inflation.
I am willing to accept that the Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos, and Elon Musk types work 3 or 4 times as hard as a median wage earner, but not 400 times as hard. That is nonsense, and besides, what a terrible metric that is for whether people “deserve” even the most common comforts of a modest but handsome house, clean clothes, nutritious food, and treatment of physical and mental ailments. I am sure there is enough wealth for no-one in America — probably no-one in the world — to go hungry, naked, or sick. Instead, gross inequity persists, and the very rich, the people with vast stores of wealth who contribute to humanitarian causes play the long-suffering servant and the philanthropist as though they were stage roles. And yet it is the wealthy who, by virtue of their own business practices, by virtue of their own excesses, uphold and maintain the broken systems which continue to oppress the poor and workers and make their “charity work” necessary. What a twist: the doctor is the disease!
I posit that the so-called “American Dream,” the “good old days,” whatever you want to call it, is nothing more than blissful, willful ignorance of individual and collective emotional and mental health. As individuals, families, communities, and society as a whole, we can only heal if we consciously adopt what I call the “Christ archetype” personality, viz:
We must level with our disappointments, heal our traumas, grieve the gleaming future we have denied ourselves and our posterity by consistently choosing profit margins over people, repair the damage done to our environment, listen to the people on the margins who express their visceral hurt, repent of our wrongs, and manifest our repentance by enacting social changes to heal, ennoble, enable ourselves and those around us.
#pure religion#social justice#therapy#trauma#inner child#repentance#american exceptionalism#environmental stewardship#responsibility#collective salvation#liberation theology#christianity#praxis#american dream#climate change#radical discipleship#richard rohr#universal christ
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( FLORENCE PUGH, CIS FEMALE, SHE/HER — oh gosh, sorry ANKE LIEBLEIN ! i didn't see you there ! y'know, i can't believe you're already 26 years old; seems like just yesterday you were tripping over yourself, or was that yesterday ? just kidding, just kidding ! anyway, i hear that you've been here since 1964, or so you think; congratulations ! at least that shining COMPOSED personality of yours hasn't changed a bit, especially that CHARMING + CLEVER, but SUSPICIOUS + EVASIVE way about you. look, i gotta get back to the group, but i'll see you around !
Hello hello! My name is Lou from gmt+1 and I’m beyond excited to join you! Let me tell you - my history-loving heart skipped a beat when I found this group! But anyway, under the cut you’ll find some info for my chem nerd child Anke! If you’d ever like to plot, feel free to leave a like or message me directly!
TW: a brief mention of wwii, secret police (Stasi), psychological manipulation, steroids & mentions of doping
Full Name: Anke Lieblein Date of birth: 5th september, 1936 Age: 26 Pronouns: cis female, she/her Date of dissapearance: 1964 Hometown: East Berlin, German Democratic Republic Occupation: graduate student Trait: composed Languages spoken: German, English and Russian
Inspired by: Ulyana Khornyuk (Chernobyl miniseries), Valery Legasov (Chernobyl miniseries), Marie Curie (history), Emmy Noether (history), Creola Katherine Johnson (history), Athena (Greek mythology), Georg Dreyman (The lives of others)
The synopsis:
Anke was not born in Berlin. Rather, she was born in a quiet village far from the city, where she spent her formative years.
She only ever knew her mother. She suspects her father was conscripted for the war effort, and never returned.
A precarious reader, she'd often get so caught up in a book she'd completely ignore her surroundings.
After the war, she moved with her mother to what was soon to become East Berlin. Her mother was the one that encouraged her to expand her knowledge base. She taught her languages, introduced her to mathematics and the natural sciences. Her mother ignited the spark in her so to speak.
Years later, Anke graduates from the German Academy of Sciences at Berlin. With a bachelor's degree in chemistry, the star of her class pursues a master's degree.
And that's where the trouble begins.
In her last year, right as she was wrapping up her experiments for her master's thesis, her athlete friend requested that she examines a vitamin pill they were handed out after practice
So she does, and lo and behold – it's not a vitamin, but a steroid.
Anke asked for more of these supposed vitamins and examined them further. Around that point, she begins noticing items being misplaced, her alarm going off at unusual hours, and the vague feeling of being watched.
She continues, and the situation escalates – soon, her previous academic papers are being denied and remain unpublished. At this point, she knows she is being monitored.
But she must search for the truth, right? She's a scientist. It's what she does.
What follows is perhaps the nail in the coffin for her – she procures a textbook from the West and completely buries herself into her investigation.
On one such occasion, when Anke stays hunched over the test tubes she quickly disposes of, she is informed that a fire had started in her building and must stay overnight in a hotel.
Knowing full well that she will most likely get arrested in the morning, Anke rents a hotel room, thinking it is her last night as a free woman.
(In a way, it was.)
Now, she devotes herself to uncovering the inner workings of The Raven House. And while she searches for truth, she keeps her own experiences – the manipulation of the Stasi – under wraps
Her treasued item is her notebook. It houses her doodles, notes, and the occassional page torn out from the western textbook.
Read her full biography (and application) here!
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The weave of nature excludes nothing from its fabric, not even the crazy and destructive, creative and inspiring ideas of human beings. I have known this since I was a child, first discovering this truth during a period of blindness and paralysis at the age of four when I fell ill with a grave virus—a time of darkness, a time to dream. As I matured, I went into outer and inner wilderness to remember the continuum of which I am a part. I could not know it with my conceptual mind. Learning came through my body, with my flesh—my eyes, ears, nose, tongue, and body—touching the body of Earth. Dualism is so strongly embedded in industrial culture that I had to leave this culture to reaffirm the truth of nonduality, that we are all on this great distributive lattice together. Over years of travel, study, and practice, I have seen the destruction of wild environments, the suffering of indigenous peoples at the hands of industrialized peoples, and the loss of a view of life as sacred. All this has turned me and many others to non-Western traditions as a way of understanding the nature of our own aggression toward and alienation from Earth. Some have sought understanding in Eastern traditions; others, the way of the Sufi or Celtic mysteries. Many have explored the world of primal peoples who form part of the Paleolithic continuity. Others have expanded the view of their root religions. Still others have used psychology, anthropology, physics, biology, ecology, feminism, and wilderness as ways to see themselves in the nature of the world. I myself entered the stream of Buddhist practice and shamanism as a basis for exploring mind and Earth, suffering and compassion. I, like many others, sought fresh answers in ancient fields, not only in the old Ways of elder cultures, East and West, but in old forests and old river bodies. I looked for root-truth in language, in food, in social institutions, and in mind itself, what one Lakota elder calls “the root that has no end.” This self that is coextensive with all of creation holds within it the sense of a continuum as vast as the oceans flowing around Earth. Where is the end? Where is the beginning? And so it is with the story of Earth, or the stories recounted in this book, or even the story of one’s own life. The thread of cause and effect can be followed endlessly as it weaves a whole cloth.
Joan Halifax - The Fruitful Darkness: A Journey Through Buddhist Practice and Tribal Wisdom
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The Legacy Of The Bat: by Brendan Rooney
The Batman in 2021 is a breath of fresh air for fans, and the general audience alike due the direction of the film following a noir driven take with glimpses of realism sprinkled throughout the project from the inner machinations of one Matt Reeves, and his ability to channel the humanistic attachment to implement the growth of characters.
Reeves truly mastered this ability of storytelling with Caesar from “The planet of the apes” which perfectly illustrated the potential that Reeves can emulate the same path for the Caped Crusader. Something the past incarnations of the character was sorely lacking a “composite layer of depth”.
In addition to the depth lacking from the film side of the Dark Knight. One thing fans always debate about is the symbolism, and meaning towards the death of the Waynes in the hallowed grounds of Crime Alley.
Obviously, on paper, the tragedy is a hard pill to swallow, but the more you invest and look into the psychological repercussions of the toll Bruce Wayne harbors from that night.
The thesis is the 9-year-old childhood of one Bruce Wayne was extinguished that night, and the persona of the Bat manifested the broken shell of the child in trauma to the point where the mask of Bruce’s life is the human side, and the dominant personality is the Bat.
Now what I'm trying to convey is “I don't want to see Wayne's gunned down, just like I don't want to see Uncle Ben die in the MCU. Due to the fact, both harbor moments of cinema that the audience has seen so many times, to the point of beating the dead horse; The two instances should carry severity, and give weight to the path of both Batman, and Spider-Man respectively.
One thing that I hope Reeves does implement and weave into the narrative of “The Batman” is the weight and trauma of the murder. I honestly want this film to be a character study of the Dark Knight. Almost in the same rhythm and stance of Todd Philip’s gritty rendition of Joker. The reason is Pattinson is an actor who can channel the deep organic raw emotion of the character.
Juxtaposed to Tom Holland who does a good Spider-Man but lacks in the column of understanding the direction of Peter Parker. I'm not throwing shade at Holland; If anyone is to blame it’s the MCU for handing everything to Parker and just molding his arc into Iron Man Junior.
Some will gripe and say Far From Home did a decent job of Peter going through the stages of grief about Tony’s sacrifice but it felt forced, and the necessary inclusion of jokes sprinkled through the film hurt the pacing.
I think what I'm trying to say is I truly don’t want to see Batman in this universe be handed everything through Lucius Fox, or the knowledge of Alfred. I want to see him struggle, be broken down, and figure things out on his own; Truly Dive into why he puts on the cowl and prowls the roofs of Gotham at night in the shadows as a silent protector.
One scene which captures the reason why Bruce Wayne is Batman and the mask is the playboy is from Batman Mask of The Phantasm.
In Mask Of Phantasm, there is a scene where the perspective of the shot is from the portrait of Thomas, and Martha Wayne seeing the path Bruce has put himself on knowing that he has forgone any glimpse of happiness to ensure no one will ever feel the pain, and conflict he felt from the cold rainy night of sitting in the puddle of blood in Crime Alley.
Hearing the tone of the score down out the shivers of Alfred. The visual imprinted on his face of terror from the sight before him. The glare just of the pale white eyes of vengeance.
One thing to note is that the bat symbol on the new costume is almost like a gun, and how cool would it be that the very weapon that took the mortality of one Bruce Wayne is the mechanism that fuels the fire for his mission.
It’s obvious to know Matt Reeves cares about the fabled history of Batman. From the Batmobile being a mix of the 1970’s Neal Adams, and the Adam West 66, or the costume being a mix-match of many bat-suits from the source material. Not to mention the ascetic from the visuals of Gotham feels reminiscent of the Animated Series, and the Arkham games.
In closing, Only time will tell where the position of power and placement of rank will be bestowed from the fans, and audience alike. One thing that is certain is the cowl once-vacant by the departure of Ben Affleck has been passed and officially taken by Robert Pattinson under the wisdom and direction of Matt Reeves.
#batman#batmobile#batman and robin#the batman#batman the brave and the bold#batman the animated series#batman mask of the phantasm#robert pattinson#battinson#Matt Reeves#DC comics#DC Universe#dcau#dceu#dceu movies#paul dano#DC comcis#comic book movies
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Heartlines, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic, chapter 6--Magic and Memory
Twelve years ago, Xemnas betrayed the royal court of Radiant Garden to his father, Xehanort. Prince Ienzo flees to another city and begins university in the aftermath, hoping the anonymity will protect him from eager eyes with ill intent. The darkness spilling across the country, as well as an individual from his past, cut short Ienzo's new beginning and bring new conflicts to light. Strained between the desires of his magic and his heart, Ienzo's choice will change him forever.
Modern Fantasy AU, Soulmates, Zemyx. Updates Fridays until it's done.
Chapter summary: Ienzo remembers his last night at home. He and Demyx discuss their pasts, and what their relationship might mean.
Read it on FF.net/on AO3
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Ienzo dreamt again about that night.
It had once been vague in his memory, cauterized, but as he grew older, the magic revealed it to him, bit by bit.
The beautiful castle in Radiant Garden, Father. He’d just barely fallen asleep on a night like this one, one full of moonlight, to Father’s soothing voice reading stories. He woke suddenly to a tang of magic aching within his own, and a different stink, a stink of smoke--
“Ienzo! Ienzo!” Even grasping at him, hauling up, but he was eight now, just a little bit too big to be easily carried--Even managed it anyway, stumbling.
“What happened?” he asked, gazed. “It smells like--”
A deafening bang. “There they go! It’s him! He’s got the girl!”
Even ran harder, sending out as harsh a wave of magic as he dared, but it weakened him--Ienzo reached out to lend him his energy, his strength. “Thank you, child,” he muttered. “It’s not much farther--” He squeezed Ienzo so hard it was difficult to breathe.
Aeleus’s voice. “Even?”
“We have to go now, Aeleus, that fool is here and she has reinforcements. ”
“I know. The whole west wing is up in flame. Broke through our wards--there must’ve been a rat.”
“The west--but Ansem--did he--”
“It doesn’t matter. You and Ienzo have to go .”
“What about you?”
“It is my duty to get you out safe--nothing more.”
“What of Dilan? Where’s he?”
“Enough questions-- go .” Aeleus pressed a rough kiss to Ienzo’s head. “Get him out safe--that’s what matters.”
Even ran, and ran, through basement pathways--eventually he set Ienzo down, and they ran together, breathless, clutching stitches, the smell of smoke getting worse and worse--
A smooth, gravelly, deep voice. “There you are.”
Even threw an arm in front of him. “Xemnas? We have to get out of here, that fool Maleficent is--” Then, “the… wards. You--why?”
“Even, you know as well as I do that this system isn’t working. This… oligarchy. People are dying, starving in the streets--you’ve no idea the hell Ansem has wrought over this land.”
“You swore an oath.” He scooped Ienzo up again. “Now let me through.”
“Else?” The smell of smoke grew thicker, then Ienzo realized… it wasn’t just smoke. Thick, dark creatures emerged from the shadows. “Give me the princess, Even. I promise no harm will come to her.”
“Why should I believe another word coming from your filthy mouth? Ansem… he loved you, Xemnas, and you-- betrayed us. Why?”
“Give me the princess.”
Ienzo saw the creatures, their hungry gold eyes, their long sharp claws… he started to pull at his magic, remembering what Merlin had taught him.
“My father has big plans for her.”
“I will kill her myself before I allow him to lay one finger on her. That fool. You were supposed to be different. You said you were, and Ansem believed you--"
Ienzo felt the coldness of a shard of ice against his throat.
“You’re bluffing.”
Even pressed the blade against him a little harder.
The man tapped his long fingers together.
“Better she die quickly than live a life suffering in the darkness.” Even leaned in. “Now, child,” he hissed.
Ienzo screamed and threw the magic with all his might, pulling from places deep within himself he’d always been encouraged to keep hidden, to keep under control. The magic exploded from him, piercing all of the Heartless, striking Xemnas in the chest--
Pain budded in his eyes, growing stronger and stronger as he cut through more Heartless.
“Enough, child, that’s enough--”
The pain peaked.
“You have to stop .”
Everything was going dark, agony exploding from his right eye. “I can’t.”
“You can. You can. Listen to me. Child. Breathe, rein it in. We’ve got him. We’ve--” A strangled noise, and Even disappeared from view, and Xemnas’s hands were wrapped around his throat--
Ienzo screamed and released more magic, and everything abruptly went dark.
---
He always hated that dream. His eyes were damp as he woke, slowly treading consciousness. He sat up and touched his right eye.
Xemnas had betrayed them at his father Xehanort's request, revealing all their weaknesses to the sorceress Maleficent, spilled darkness like ink all over Radiant Garden. They'd been running ever since. All the easier for Xehanort to slip in, to instill control… and Ansem's grip on the rest of the city-states collapsed completely. How on earth was a resistance going to be able to counter that? Then Maleficent ended up “mysteriously” dead, and Ienzo… was half blind. It remained a permanent warning of what would happen to him if he used too much magic. The energy alone will shred you, Even had told him. Literally.
It was ludicrously early, but he got up anyway, dressing slowly, his skin still so sensitive, achy, almost.
Zo! Good morning! Busy later?
Demyx.
Ienzo never thought he'd have come out of this with a… what, exactly? Boyfriend? Mate? Partner?
Even said there were ways to break this bond. But why should he? He'd never had anything to himself before, and besides, if Demyx could jam him, all the safer. But true… they may have made out for hours yesterday, but they barely knew each other.
He could fix that. Reveal his… truths.
Ienzo exhaled. One thing at a time.
---
He went to class. Eraqus's junior-level industrial/organizational psychology class was interesting, and then there was the class Demyx TA'ed. He hadn't been able to test out of art credits, and found himself glad. He wondered… this was all magic. He hadn't consciously chosen Demyx. Would he have, if he could? He'd never been allowed choices. Was it the magic suddenly finding attractiveness in those features, or his own budding sexuality? Did he have free will at all?
(Thinking of the electricity of that kiss, did it matter? Clearly his magic and body both thought they were things worth seeking.)
Ienzo suddenly wished dearly he had a friend to talk to about all this. All he had were Aeleus and Even; the former had been pulled away by his work, and the latter had been too enraged to speak to him this morning.
Ienzo wished for his father, thought of another sort of coming out--he'd only been seven or so, but knew it was truth down into the core of his being. Going to Ansem in his study. Asking him why he was a girl, receiving a lecture about biology, then stating point blank--"what if I were a boy?" Ansem had been confused, but then, "do you think you are?" And when he said yes, all Ansem did was smooth the dress Even had stuffed him in and say, "then we'd best get you more suitable clothing." It took more time for everyone to get used to calling him the proper pronouns, and even then, they kept the truth of his gender within the inner circle, to wait until he was older. Hence… Xehanort never knowing.
He thought of this as Demyx rounded him up after class, his expression so soft as he looked at Ienzo. "You ready?"
"Quite."
They made their way towards town. "Can I… hold your hand?" Demyx asked. "Or…"
"Perhaps… not just yet."
"Okay," he said, clearly disappointed. "So… Riku's got class then work until like 8, is my place okay? It's still warded and stuff."
Did Demyx think there would be more kissing? (Ienzo cursed the fact that the idea excited him.) "...Alright."
He smiled. "Great."
The inside of the small apartment smelled like garlic. “Ah--sorry,” Demyx said quickly. “I was cooking yesterday and I completely forgot--”
“You like to cook?”
“Yeah, I’m told I’m not half bad at it,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s nice to--be good at something objective. Which music so totally isn’t. I’d offer you some of what I made, but… Riku demolished it all after he went to the gym.” A shrug.
“Are you two actually friends, or is it merely an arrangement that works?”
Demyx snorted. He pulled a bottle of juice out of the fridge. “Well--yes, and yes. Want some? I made it myself.”
“...Sure.” He was given a glass of something pinkish and cloudy. They sat on that same horrible couch. “I need to… know more about you. All of this is making me wonder--”
“If we even have free will?” Demyx winced. “Yeah. It’s, uh, a conundrum.”
“You’ve known about this bond longer than I--is it… genuine? That is to say--” He had no idea how to put any of this.
“I’ve tried dating,” Demyx said. “Like, not to be a slut or anything, but I’ve dated a bunch of people, of all different genders. And it was fun, and nice, and sometimes I even liked them a whole lot, maybe loved them a little. All I know… this feels a lot… more intense than that.” He bit his lip.
“But this bond. Is it… merely lust and infatuation, and that encourages more stable bonding? Or--”
Demyx let out a long breath. “My parents had this kind of relationship. But the long and short of it is… yeah. If we really… go through with it… if we… choose it, then… it’s kind of a forever thing.”
“What do you want?” Ienzo asked.
“I want… I want to be happy. And I think… this could help.” He swallowed.
Ienzo squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. “There are a few things you have to know about me, then,” he said quietly.
“Like what?”
“Firstly… I’m transgender.” The word felt odd in his mouth.
Demyx shrugged. “Okay. No big deal. I’ve been with--” Ienzo heard him catch himself. “It doesn’t bother me, or anything. Why would it?”
His flushed worsened, and so did his anxiety. “So… I was once a girl. And my name… it was--”
Demyx raised a hand. “I don’t need to know your deadname.”
He felt his eyes watering. “In this case it is important.” He tried to slow his breaths. “It was _____.”
Demyx blinked. Then he looked at Ienzo, really looked at him. “As in…” He sputtered. “ Princess _____? You’re--”
“The prince. Yes.”
There was just a moment of shocked silence. “Holy shit ,” he said. “I mean--I’m sorry--ah--your highness--”
Ienzo scowled. “No. None of that bullshit.” He exhaled. “I came here to try and have a normal life… while the resistance… tries to rally itself against Xehanort. To stay alive. ”
Demyx went pale. “I kissed a prince. God, that is probably so--”
Ienzo exhaled. “For the record… I did like it. But-- you won’t--”
“Tell anyone? I’m not a fucking narc. I just can’t believe--everyone thought that the… sorry, princess, is dead and shit.”
“...Precisely. My transition is part of why I’m still alive.”
Demyx tried to gather himself. “Ienzo. Listen, my… people, or whatever, have been hunted for fucking ever. I’m not going to turn you over--to anyone.”
He believed it. “That is… a comfort.”
Demyx touched his cheek. “Is that why I’m so drawn to you? Because you’re uber powerful?”
“Quite possibly,” Ienzo said. “Though… I feel it, too. For you to be able to block me… your power isn’t insignificant.”
“So what do we do?”
“I need to know more about seekers. ...And Riku. Whatever you know about your people. We can… see how this might be of use, to the resistance, or ourselves.”
“Otherwise?”
“Otherwise…” Ienzo trailed off. “I want to… explore this further.”
“Right,” Demyx said softly. He leaned in and kissed him, and like the kisses before it seemed to wake up Ienzo’s whole being. He couldn’t help but respond, already feeling a gathering warmth in his belly. He felt Demyx’s tongue against his lips and let it in, for a moment fascinated by the strange texture of it before Demyx was making him feel things he didn’t think it was possible to feel, making him feel so utterly… turned on, aware suddenly he was sweating. All of him screamed I want. Demyx’s hands wandered over him, exploring slowly, as if to savor it, and he was eased back onto the couch. Feeling their bodies pressed together--Demyx’s hand slid down between his legs--
“No,” he said softly. “No. Not yet.”
Demyx pulled away. “I’m sorry, I… it just kind of happened--I should've asked--”
“It’s okay.” He sat up and neatened himself. His body screamed at him for refusing the touch. “I don’t think I’m ready.”
“You’ve never… done anything?”
“No. When would I have?”
Demyx shrugged. “We should probably try to… wait,” he said. “On anything, anything.”
“Until we know each other better? That’s a good point.”
“Because…” He whistled a little. “I mean. Sex kind of seals the deal. You know?”
“Consummation?”
“When you put it like that.” He wrinkled his nose. “Once you… start having actual feelings , and then act on them, it--gets messy.”
“...This is more complicated than I thought.”
“Tell me about it.” He drummed his fingers on his knees. “Tell me about you,” he said. “Tell me everything.”
Ienzo hesitated. He wanted to trust Demyx so badly. But yet… “What is there to tell,” he murmured. He sighed.
“Not the… royal stuff. You . What you like to do.”
Ienzo blinked. “We kind of touched upon this before. But I… like to read. I like to learn. I used to… write, once upon a time, very bad poetry. Growing up like me often made me… quite angsty.” He wrinkled his nose. “I wrote about it--thankfully it’s all long gone. But I don’t need to write, the way I assume you need to create. If I read or learned, I could pretend… my isolation was voluntary.” He flushed. “And this all sounds rather pathetic.”
“Not pathetic , but it does suck.” His eyes were so pitying. “You never… had any friends, or anything?”
“None that lasted--aside from my guardians. Though it seems you are something of a social butterfly.”
Demyx shrugged. “Kinda comes with the territory,” he muttered. “I don’t, like, try to charm people. Or enchant them, or whatever. But like fucking everything I do, it’s not conscious. It just makes me wonder--” He scoffed. “How many of my friends really like me, or are drawn to me because of what I am?”
“I have the opposite problem,” Ienzo said, with a smile. “People hate me because of what I am.”
Demyx smiled too. “It… doesn’t exactly do wonders for my self-esteem. I wish I could turn it off. Part of me… almost has this fundamental fear that I’m unlovable, and the magic just convinces people otherwise.”
Ienzo blinked. “Surprising, then, that you’d consider a pairbond.”
He fiddled with the pendant. “I… know,” he said. “It makes no sense. It’s part of me. Part of my kind. That’s even harder to resist. So I just tell myself it’s a choice. And it is.”
There was a moment where Ienzo was unsure of what to say. “So what is your kind?”
Demyx held the pendant up to the light. “Seeker is kind of a… misnomer, I guess you could say? The language is actually so fucking old. When we were first were created , or whatever, we were apparently put here to… protect.”
Ienzo had a feeling he already knew. “Protect what?”
“Whatever we consider to be important, I guess,” Demyx murmured. “That where everything gets weird. In the myths… nobody told us what our purpose was. So we just draw in everything until we… find that something.” He exhaled. “I wish I were just human. I really do.”
“You and me both. My kind apparently served as a liaison between the gods and man, hence my magic. But I can’t hear them the way I can hear the earth. Who knows if this is all just stories?” He shook his head. “What if it’s all something we made up to give ourselves clarity? And people are dying for such stories ?”
“Who knows,” Demyx said softly.
“So your parents were also seekers. And you haven’t heard from them since the islands fell?”
“Since I washed up on the beach,” he said casually. “But that was before that. I was hoping to find them. Considering what I am… actually finding people isn’t that easy. Maybe they’re dead. I don’t know. Almost makes me glad my memories are like swiss cheese. This stupid necklace is all I have from my past.”
“They… are? Your memories?”
He blinked. “Yeah.”
Ienzo put a hand under his chin. “Do you think perhaps someone… or something… deliberately cut off access to your other form, and manipulated where you ended up?”
He blew a raspberry. “I mean I guess.”
“Can I see it?” Ienzo asked. “The pendant?”
“Uh… sure.” Demyx leaned forward so Ienzo could touch it. It felt like glass, smooth and warm. Again, that rune. Ienzo was suddenly sure he’d seen it before… but where ?
“Could I… study it?” he asked.
Demyx furrowed his eyebrows. “I’ve never taken it off.”
“Nothing ill will come of you if you do, right?”
“I don’t think so, but--”
“Maybe I can help you find your memory. My guardian… knows a lot about such magic. Is that something you would want?”
Demyx held it in his palm. “You think this thing could be holding the memory back? Or--”
“I don’t know.”
After a long moment, Demyx reached up and pulled the necklace over his head. He still hesitated before he handed it to Ienzo. “Don’t lose it,” he said, almost desperately.
“I promise I won’t.” He considered it. The necklace was still glowing, though a bit less so than before. “Do you feel any different?”
Demyx shook his head.
“Let me know if you do at once.” He slipped it into his pocket; it still remained warm. “I’ll look into this right away.”
“Do you think it’ll help?”
“I hope it will.”
#heartlines#ienzo#demyx#zemyx#even (kingdom hearts)#aeleus#xemnas#au#soulmate au#prince au#ienzo is trans
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Moon in Natal chart (horoscope)
Element: Water.
Stones: pearls, Moonstone (adulyar), aquamarine, white and blue opal, white stone, emerald, blue beryl, rock crystal, jadeite, cacholong.
Metal: Silver. Day: Monday.
Color: White.
Direction: North-West.
Abode: Cancer.
Exaltation (Elevation): Taurus.
Exile: Capricorn.
Falls: Scorpion.
Friendly planet: the Sun, mercury.
Hostile planets: None.
Organs: mucous membranes – eyes, lungs, stomach, intestines, women – gynecology. Diseases: nervous disorders, stomach diseases, acidity disorders, gastritis, colitis. Events: changes (positive and negative).
Symbols in the map: W
The mysterious and mystical image of the moon has always attracted the attention of people. For creative and gifted natures, she was a source of inspiration, the Moon helped people in love to tell each other all the secrets and secrets of the heart. This celestial body is very clearly visible to the earth observer, and since ancient times people have noted for themselves the relationship between the lunar phases (new moon, growing moon, full moon and waning moon) and the state of health, mood and cycles of reproduction. Knowledge of the rhythms of the moon allowed us to predict the tides, and increase the productivity of plants. Ancient healers focused on the phases of the moon in the collection and processing of medicinal plants, and physicians with the help of astrological knowledge successfully determined a favorable time for medical procedures and operations.
The moon in the horoscope
Most people know their solar zodiac sign, that is, take into account the position of the Sun in the sign at the time of his birth. The solar horoscope will tell a lot about the personality, its Outlook and aspirations. Meanwhile, the Moon, its location in the moment of the first breath of man and its other characteristics are also very important. The moon will help to reveal the peculiarities of one's personal life to understand his individual qualities, habits and preferences. Analysis of the position of the moon in the Natal chart, among other things, will clarify the following points:
The image of the mother in the horoscope;
The relationship of the individual to children;
Attitude to home and family;
The image of the beloved woman in the male horoscope;
Characteristics of women as mothers and wives in the women's horoscope;
Ability to adapt and restore vitality;
Taste preferences;
The rhythm and style of life.
According to traditional ideas — the Moon is a symbol of all adaptation mechanisms, psychological, symbolizing the subconscious, social, determining the behavior and response of humans, biological, being associated with nutrition, and so on. This property is inherent only to the moon and is decisive for it, therefore, the principle of the moon — adaptation. What is adaptation from the standpoint of individuality? This is the ability and desire (not the intention, as in the case of the Sun, namely the desire, which has an emotional color) to optimally realize in the outside world all its internal capabilities, all its inherent (individuality) properties and qualities. In other words, adaptation is an implementation process.
Function
Since the principle of the moon is adaptation to the conditions of existence, its function is survival, individual life. That is why it symbolizes in specific tasks everything that contributes to this — the mother, homeland, your home, the nature of emotional reactions, the most comfortable place and circumstances of existence and so on. For realization of individual life it is necessary automatically, without participation of consciousness (without using the conscious analysis of a situation, instinctively) to show the uniqueness, the creative solar beginning.
Role
The moon gives a person the appearance of life, gives the solar creative impulse an external form of expression, determining the specifics of the emotional state and behavior, their changes. In this sense, the role of the Sun and the moon are oppositional — the Sun symbolizes the content, and the Moon shape, here the Sun is active and the Moon is passive. Therefore, the role of the moon can be defined as the appearance, the form of manifestation.
Signifier of organs and diseases
The moon shows the ability of man to adapt, is responsible for the absorption of nutrients. Associated with the stomach, uterus, Breasts, endocrine system, in particular, with the pancreas (along with Venus, Neptune and Pluto), is responsible for the mucous membrane of any organ, cerebellum, lymph, leukocytes and blood plasma. It gives nervous disorders, stomach diseases, acidity disorders, gastritis, colitis, fluid saturation, endocrine disorders as a result of inflammation of the glands, vision defects, allergies and women's diseases.
A STRONG MOON
For a person, understanding and sympathy from others are extremely important. Strong internal needs and desires. Reactions are largely determined by the mood, which is constantly changing. The need takes care of those who are in the worst position. Sincerity, but, on the other hand, impressionability, mental changeability, capriciousness.
WEAK MOON
The lack of serious significant to the subject's needs and social expectations. Emotional underdevelopment. Lack of intuition.
STRUCK BY THE MOON
Probable bad relationship with her mother, difficult childhood, obstacles with unclear reasons, others, like "undeserved", burden and grief. Anxiety, abundance of complexes, doubts, distrust.
A HARMONIOUS MOON
Almost complete peace of mind in almost any circumstances. Ability to easily learn, good memory, ability to listen.
HIGHLY HARMONIOUS MOON
Developed intuition, subtle perception, impressionability.
The moon is a symbol of femininity and motherhood
Everyone imagines the movement of the moon. She always accompanies the Earth in its journey around the Sun and does not leave it without attention for a second. Is not it true that this relationship is reminiscent of maternal care and custody of the child? This comparison is not accidental. The phenomena of the cosmic world are always reflected in the earthly reality, and therefore each planetary interaction in the Natal chart creates a unique code of the earth's inhabitant.
So, the Moon is a symbol of the feminine, which is designed to protect, care, protect, nurture and nurture. In the horoscope of the Natal chart, she will describe the female and maternal image inherent in the consciousness of the individual, talk about the attitude to children, as well as to the house and the family as a whole.
For example, the Moon in the sign of Cancer is a very strong position for her. Such a person will be distinguished by a strong attachment to the house, concern for the comfort and well-being of all members of his family. The moon in Cancer are always fed, warm, listen to and hug.
But the mother with the Moon in the air Twins will take care of children and loved ones differently. For her, the main thing is to create conditions for the intellectual development of the child and make the pastime of family members fun, interesting and diverse.
So, the Moon is in a female Natal chart describes the woman as wife, mother and mistress of the house, the Keeper of the hearth. Astrological analysis of the moon in a man's horoscope will not only recreate the image of his mother and identify the specifics of the relationship with her, but also help to determine the type of woman he considers attractive.
The moon and the unconscious
Everyone knows that the Moon is always turned to the Earth only one of its sides. The other side is always invisible to the earthly observer. That is why this heavenly body is responsible for the human psyche, or rather for its unconscious part. If the Moon is in the horoscope a strong status and has a favorable interaction with other planets of the Natal chart, the subject feels the harmony in the soul, and even if you are having any difficulties in life, he easily overcomes times of trouble.
Owners of the moon, located in the tense aspects with other planets (eg, mercury, Saturn, Neptune, Jupiter or Uranus), in the event of stress and depression should pay attention to relaxing procedures and practices (yoga, meditation, balneological procedures, massage and swimming), timely take a vacation and, of course, visit professionals who will be able to provide the necessary psychological assistance.
Moon and health
If we talk about the work of the body, the function of the moon is the distribution of energy in the human body. It is also responsible for the circulation of fluids, the processes of assimilation of food, the function of procreation and feeding the baby.
People who have a strong and harmonious principle of the moon in the horoscope (for example, the Moon in Cancer or Taurus, the Moon in the corner houses, in good aspects, etc.) are distinguished by good memory, rapid recovery from diseases, good adaptation to changing conditions, stress resistance, good female and male health).
Those who want to tune in to harmony within themselves, improve health and well-being, perhaps, should pay attention to the energy properties of minerals with lunar energy. These include moonstone, pearls, rhinestone, as well as beryl, opal and aquamarine gently light shades. The stones will help to find a balance within yourself, overcome depression, normalize sleep and improve digestion. If you put the mineral next to the bed restless child, it will reduce anxiety and calm his emotions. Any of the lunar minerals will bring to human life a lot of positive energy, mutual understanding, family happiness and love.
So, the Moon in the Natal chart will tell you a lot about the character, behavior, habits and needs of a person. Astrological information about the moon, its aspects, position in signs and houses will help the owner of the horoscope to better understand his inner world, and his loved ones – to create an atmosphere of comfort and safety for a loved one and build a harmonious relationship with him, based on care and understanding.
#moon#astrology#facts#Zodiac#aries moon#taurus moon#gemini moon#caner moon#leo moon#virgo moon#libra moon#scorpio moon#sagittarius moon#capricorn moon#aquarius moon#pisces moon
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Jack Kline Novak Winchester: Son, TFW Mirror, Trinity and Key; Quaternity, Ouroboros, Caduceus, and Harbinger of The End
“I am a hunter, I am the son of Lucifer, I am a Winchester!” (14x14 Ourboros).
“One becomes two, two becomes three, and out of the third comes the one as the fourth.” (the alchemist Maria Prophetissima 1-3 C AD). This refers to the four stages of alchemy, the refining of base metals into gold on the material plane, but the refining of the soul to God on the spiritual plane - nigredo (black), albedo (white), citrinalis (yellow), and rubedo (red).
In Jung’s interpretation of this alchemical piece of wisdom, this means the refining of the psyche:
1) = Conscious Self
2) = Unconscious Self (the Shadow or Mirror)
3) = Inner Mediator
4) Integrated Self
(One of the books Dean uses to build the Ma’lak box in 14x11 Damaged Goods)
This meta is concerned with Jack’s rich symbolic role in the SPN narrative.
Jack enters the story to help Team Free Will face their Shadow-Selves and thus evolve psychologically.
This concludes my S14 meta series on the Jungian (and alchemical) themes of the season.
You can read all the previous meta in that series here:
1) The Shadow 14x08
http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/180906003584/the-shadow-14x08
2) 14x09 The Spear (Jungian Decoder Ring Edition)
http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/181122764984/14x09-the-spear-jungian-decoder-ring-edition
3) Jung and Dean’s Journey Towards Self-Integration in 14x11 Damaged Goods
http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/182299438269/jung-and-deans-journey-towards-self-integration
4) Ouroboros in Prophet and Loss (14x12)
http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/182486474324/ouroboros-in-prophet-and-loss-14x12
5) A Pearl of Great Price - 14x13 Lebanon
http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/182660472289/a-pearl-of-great-price-14x13-lebanon
6) The Serpent and the Egg: Snake and Eye Symbology in 14x14 Ouroboros
http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/183327000184/the-serpent-and-the-egg-snake-and-eye-symbology
7) Another Alchemical Easter Egg in 14x14
http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/183388134889/another-alchemical-easter-egg-in-14x14
8) The Scapegoat: Speculative Musings on S14′s End (Moriah) (Linked to the Season’s Jungian Themes - Scapegoating and the Unacknowledged Shadow)
http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/184045009309/the-scapegoat-speculative-musings-on-s14s-end
9) Dean’s Jungian Shadow Arc in S14: Confronting the Internal Father (2x22 to 14x20 Moriah)
https://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/184507150574/deans-jungian-shadow-arc-in-s14-confronting-the
Jack is dualistic; Good and Evil, Human Soul and Angelic Grace. He is a trinity: Human, Angel and “Demon” (fallen Angel); Dean-mirror, Cas-mirror, Sam-mirror. He is also a quaternity, thanks to the additional feminine element: his mother, Kelly Kline and his adoptive mother/ grandmother Mary Winchester (the latter resurrected by the feminine God-principle Amara).
Jung considers the quaternity to be highly significant (he refers to “squaring the circle”) including, as above, in relation to his interpretation of Maria Prophetissima’s alchemical summary as being analogous to the stages of psychic growth and integration. He often considers the, Son, Father, Holy Ghost and Mother Mary of Christianity to be external symbols for the four stages or elements of the human psyche.
“The quaternity, is an archetype of almost universal occurrence [. . .]” For instance, if you want to describe the horizon as a whole, you name the four quarters of heaven…There are always four elements, four prime qualities, four colours, four castes, four ways of spiritual development, etc. So, too, there are four aspects of psychological orientation [. . .] The ideal of completeness is the circle sphere, but its natural minimal division is a quaternity”
(Jung: Psychology and Religion: West and East).
Conceived by stealth-rape in a Bucklemming episode (12x08 LOTUS) Jack was possibly off to an inauspicious start as the Devil’s Baby.
But Jack the Nephilim, son of Lucifer and Kelly Kline, had the good sense to adopt Castiel as his protector in the womb, and from then on out he has ascended through the spiral narrative like the phoenix he is.
Born in 12x23 All Along the Watchtower, Jack was always part of Dabb’s Ouroboros narrative. A "demon” with yellow eyes in a nursery, a child, and a mother who dies; Jack was a mirror, reflecting SPN’s origin story, of Azazel feeding baby-Sam demon blood, and burning Mary Winchester on the ceiling. And Jack was Sammy and Azazel both.
Castiel died at Jack’s birth too, murdered by Lucifer in front of Dean’s horrified eyes, thus placing Cas in the role of Mary Winchester and Dean in the role of John Winchester.
Adopted by a reluctant grieving Dean and a hopeful Sam, Jack discovered he loved nougat and stole a lot of fandom hearts.
Importantly, through their adoption of Jack and his reflection of many of their previous experiences, TFW are forced to recognise themselves (including painful repressed elements of themselves) in him, thus he enables them to better meet their Shadow-selves and evolve. In this sense he is the mediator between the Ego and the Id, the conscious self and the unconscious self, the Self and the Shadow for TFW. That is why Jack is linked to the symbol of the Ouroboros, the snake swallowing its own tail, because in alchemy that signifies transformation:
This self-recognition (of themselves in Jack) is initially much easier for Sam and Cas than it is for Dean....
Sam the boy corrupted by demon blood, of course sees himself in the innocent yet unstable son of Lucifer. Cas, fallen angel in love with humanity, likewise naturally sees himself in a half-angel/ half-human child who is struggling with his place in the world.
Juxtaposing innocence and enormous power (potential for good and potential for evil) Jack was a child who grew up too fast, literally (appearing twenty whilst only two). In this respect, he was a mirror for Dean, who had to grow up too fast when his Mom died, assuming the role of substitute-parent to Sammy.
Dean has a hard time recognising and having compassion for the innocent child part of himself that he gave up to become Daddy’s “good little soldier” and caretaker to Sammy. Which is why his journey into loving Jack (as a reflection of himself) goes hardest (see my meta on Dean’s Jungian shadow arc, linked above, for more on this).
Jack is also (like Dawn in Buffy) a metaphysical, mystical key. He opens doors; doors between dimensions/ worlds and alternate universes as well as doors in the psyche between the Self and the Shadow. He is the key to Chuck’s multiverse and to the larger God-machine.
Jack (responding to Dean’s intense grief) resurrected Castiel in The Empty, the space where dead angels and demons go. Only Chuck had resurrected Castiel previously. So, we see Jack step into the role of God, but in a place (The Empty) where (if we believe the Cosmic Entity that resides there) God has no dominion. Jack already presages God Level Mark II.
With Mary Winchester in the apocalypse world (she who was resurrected by the feminine God-principle, Amara) Jack stood on the side of humans against angels, and in this, he was a mirror for Castiel (who rebelled against Heaven to stand with the Winchesters).
When his birth father, Lucifer, stole his grace in 13x23 Let the Good Times Roll, Jack became de-powered (human-ish) again, mirroring Castiel (and his Human!Cas arc after the angel fall in 8x23 Sacrifice).
With his soul/ grace unbalanced, Jack began coughing up blood; a mirror for Sam’s journey during the demon trials of S8.
Knowing he was dying, Jack went fishing with Dean in 14x07 Unhuman Nature
Ahhh all the lovely fish and fishing metaphors SPN has employed over the years. Fish have sometimes stood for humans, sometimes stood for angels, but always for angel/ human convergence. Jung in Aion (reading medieval alchemical texts) writes about the fish as an alchemical symbol for the philosopher’s stone (the mystical substance that allows transformation - of matter and spirit and, for Jung, of the psyche): “...alchemical fish symbolism leads direct to the lapis, the salvator, servator, and deus terrenus; that is, psychologically, to the self.” (Jung, Aion: Researches into the Phenomenology of the Self, 1979: p157)
So, Dean and his adopted Nephilim son fish together, which recalls, in particular, Dean’s fishing dream in 4x20 The Rapture, which Cas entered and there passed Dean a love note of assistance. If fish are angels, then Dean and Jack have already “caught” one, by means of love: Castiel.
Dean is placed here again in the role of his own father, John Winchester.
JACK: “You once told me you and your father did the exact same thing. It was your happiest memory of him.”
And Jack, as the product of angel/ human congress, has always stood (in subtext) as a metaphor for the love between Dean and Cas.
But, metaphysically unbalanced, Jack sickens further. An injection of Gabriel’s archangel grace doesn’t help. TFW take him to the hospital together, to no avail. Sam, his third adoptive father, keeps vigil at his bedside as he dies.
Jack finds himself in Heaven. Here he is a mirror for Sam and Dean, who have both died multiple times on the show. He reunites with his mother Kelly Kline, but The Shadow (a manifestation of The Empty particularly linked to Castiel, symbolising, as it does, Cas’ Jungian Shadow-self) has invaded Heaven and wants to drag Jack to The Empty with it. Jack’s duality is here highlighted, as his human soul belongs in Heaven, but his dead angelic self belongs in The Empty, (according to the SPN cosmic sorting hat!)
Castiel comes searching for Jack in Heaven, and makes a deal with The Shadow in 14x08 Byzantium - Jack’s life for his own (the moment Cas allows himself to be happy). Cas and Jack mirror Dean and Sam here, and all the supernatural deals they’ve made, or tried to make, to bring one another back from death over the years. Cas in particular mirrors Dean, because Sam has always, in one sense, been not only Dean’s brother, but his son.
As ever, there will be a price to pay for this deal. Not only Castiel’s promise to surrender himself to the Shadow, but also the second “death” of Mary Winchester (caused by a resurrected Jack).
But, Cas loves his Nephilim son so much (<my heart>):
Held in an unstable balance thanks to Lily Sunder’s dark soul-consuming magic, things start to get dicey for Jack post-resurrection. He tries to impress Max, Stacy and Eliot (the Lebanon kids) and ends up stabbing Stacy (Castiel’s mirror) with an angel blade (14x16 Don’t Go in the Woods) leaving Max (Dean’s mirror) grieving over her body, thus, in that moment, mirroring his father Lucifer (12x23 All Along the Watchtower), However, he brings Stacy back from death (mirroring his own resurrection of Cas) but every time he uses his powers, he burns off some of his soul:
Wow he is cycling, Ouroboros style, through so many previous TFW arcs.
And so we arrive at 14x14 Ouroboros itself, THE crucial episode in terms of all this symbology, in which Jack kills the Queer Gorgon Noah Ophis (himself an Ouroboros symbol = Noah from Genesis and Ophis from Revelation) to save the Winchesters and adopts his snake, Felix (also an Ouroboros symbol).
Then, he burns off considerably more of his soul (perhaps all of it - it’s unclear) to kill AU!Michael, and swallows his grace, Ouroboros style:
Jack is now another symbolic duality and trinity - he contains elements of both Michael and Lucifer, the two opposing forces in Apocalypse Mark I, now united in one being. The third element is provided by his humanity (now, seemingly, in jeopardy).
An evolved and fully re-powered-up Jack has sprung forth, just as Pegasus the winged horse and his brother Chrysaor of the golden sword did from the neck of their Gorgon mother Medusa when Perseus slew her:
In this form, Jack is linked (via a book on Donatello’s shelves behind him in 14x15 Peace of Mind - thanks to @postmodernmulticoloredcloak for this spot!) to the Caduceus symbol on the spine of the Book of Life here:
The Caduceus is the staff of Hermes, consisting of two serpents entwined about a staff crowned with wings. Hermes is the messenger of the Gods in Greek mythology. He can move freely between the worlds of God and men (linking to Jack’s function as a metaphysical key, on both a micro-cosmic psychological scale, and a macrocosmic God-machine scale). Hermes was also a psychopomp, a conductor of souls to the afterlife. The psychopomp is linked by Jung to the psychological mediator function - that which mediates between the Self and the Shadow, as Jack does for TFW via his mirroring function.
Jack’s visit to Donatello also serves to remind us that even someone without a human soul can live a good life if they pick the right role models (Donatello picks Mr. Rogers, Jack picks the Winchesters).
In 14x15 Peace of Mind, Jack demonstrates both his potential for good and evil in this new diminished soul-state, via a (misplaced) compassion (good) which leads him to kill Felix the snake (evil) believing the beastie is grieving for Noah the Queer Gorgon and will be reunited with him in death:
This death of the snake is also symbolic of Jack’s role as mirror and mystical key - old patterns within both Team Free Will and Chuck’s Multiverse must die, in order for newer and healthier ones to be born. Jack is the catalyst, the messenger, the Ouroboros, the Caduceus.
In Jack’s new, vulnerable, state (with either some, or all, of his soul gone) he banishes Lucifer back to the Empty in 14x17 Game Night after Nick (bleugh) tries to resurrect him, and he then burns Nick to a crispy cinder for good measure. Afterwards, Jack is tormented by Hallucifer (a vision of his father Lucifer in his mind). This is very possibly the actual Lucifer, communicating with Jack via the blood-link spell Nick performed, hoping to lead him astray. It certainly sounds like the actual Lucifer. It also, of course, mirrors Sam’s Hallucifer arc.
Distressed by Mary’s reaction to his incineration of Nick and taunted by Hallucifer, Jack loses control and (or so we are led to believe) kills Mary (in fact I think he’s blasted her unwittingly through a portal to an AU/ mirror universe, but that’s another story).
Now the crisis in Jack’s relationship with his adoptive fathers is set up.
Dean, is the member of TFW who (as I explained above) has found it hardest to have compassion for the mirror-self whom Jack reflects back to him (young Dean with the weight of the world on his shoulders) and he determines Jack must be locked in the Ma’lak box and/ or killed. Sam and Cas, who have been better able to recognise themselves in Jack and so have compassion for him, dissent (but Sam’s hangover child-role to Dean’s father-role in their toxic co-dependency means he doesn’t initially stand up to Dean).
Here is Jack, locked in the Ma’lak box (Jack in the Box 14x19) being tormented again by Hallucifer:
And, of course, that couldn’t contain him, so, deeply upset at being lied to by two of his three adoptive fathers, Jack busts out all glowy-eyed:
Chuck shows up to set Mount Moriah and Abraham and Isaac redux in motion , and Dean, possessed by his Shadow-self (the Ghost of John Winchester) gets ready to repeat history.
A yellow-eyed “demon”has killed Mary Winchester (again) and Dean-as-John picks up Chuck’s weapon of RevengeTM (the Hammurabi - see my meta on Dean and his Shadow arc linked above for more on this).
But Jack, in his role as mirror and mediator between the Self and the Shadow. freely offers himself as a sacrifice, a scapegoat.
And seeing this, at last, Dean has compassion, both for Jack and for his own mirror-child self, “murdered” by John Winchester’s revenge quest to get Yellow-Eyes/ Azazel. And so, he stays his hand.
Chuck, the bastard, kills Jack anyway and lights the fuse under Apocalypse III.
But, because Jack is a metaphysical key and the symbol of transfomation (Ouroboros) he can move between all the realms of the God-machine. And so, Death has no true dominion, and we see Jack awaken (14x20 Moriah) in The Empty:
There, he is greeted by a figure, presumbly the Cosmic Entity who presides over the place, as well as by Billie the New Death.
According to the Empty’s Cosmic Entity in 13x04 The Big Empty, “Before God and Amara, creation, destruction, Heaven, Hell, your precious little earth, what was there?... Nothing. Nothing but Empty... Angels and demons... you all come here when you die... I’m the only one that has any pull here. Not Heaven, not Hell, not G-O-D himself.“
As with the Amara storyline (she is mapped to Sophia, the cosmic feminine God-principle) it seems Dabb is drawing on Gnosticism in his conception of The Empty. Jung was also fascinated by Gnosticism.
The Gnostics made a distinction between the supreme unknowable Being, and the creator of the material universe, God, known as the Demiurge (who was often seen as amoral, even wicked).
We don’t yet know whether Chuck has already merged with Amara, and is the double entity Chuck/ Amara or, whether her feminine God-principle will be instrumental in persuading him to finally end his story, and let Team Free Will and humanity become the authors of their own stories. The latter would make sense in Jung’s quaternity structure, and would be linked to my theory that Mary Winchester is not dead and will return to her sons before the end.
Chuck, as the Demiurge, may perhaps be the mere avatar or emanation of the true supreme Godhood, if we take a Gnostic perspective. Whilst Chuck-the-Demiurge must be defeated, because he doesn’t want to relinquish control of the narrative, in his Supreme Godhood form, and/or merged Amara form, he may himself relinquish control and let Team Free Will go.
Whether Jack is initially manipulated by The Empty, Death and/ or an awakened Lucifer and/or indeed AU!Michael, or joins forces with them (in their good faith) remains to be seen. Lucifer may (ugh, but definitely possible) get a redemption arc, as he has, despite his many evil deeds, undoubtedly been wronged by Chuck (forced to bear the Mark of Cain and thus become corrupted by it).
Ultimately, I have no doubt that Jack, thanks to his loving connection to Team Free Will, will ultimately (as Cas has always believed) be “good for the world”:
(Jack and his three adoptive Dads in Unhuman Nature 14x07)
Jack, as the alchemical symbol of transformation (Ouroboros) as Mercury the mediator (Caduceus) between universes, between realms in the God-Machine, and between the conscious and the unconscious, and as the union of opposites (Michael and Lucifer, Good and Evil, Self and the Shadow), and as the trinity symbolising that unity (Sam, Dean and Cas merged as TFW) and as the quaternity (the ultimate integration [I hope] with the feminine principle symbolised by Mary and Amara) will, I believe, help usher in “Paradise” after the Apocalypse III; a “new Heaven and a new Earth, because the old Heaven and the old Earth had passed away” (Revelation) in which true free will reigns and Team Free Will have completed their psychic journeys.
“Thus we have the “hostile brothers,” Christ and the devil, who were regarded as brothers in the Jewish-Christian tradition; the tetrameria into four parts or elements; the paired opposites and their ultimate unity; the parallel of the lapis and Mercurius with Christ and, because of the snake or dragon symbolism, also with the devil; and finally, the figure of Mercurius duplex and of the lapis, which unites the opposites indivisibly in itself.”
(Jung, Aion: Researches into the Phenomenology of the Self, 1979: p214)
https://www.jungiananalysts.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/C.-G.-Jung-Collected-Works-Volume-9ii_-AION_-Researches-into-the-Phenomenology-of-the-Self.pdf
#Supernatural#SPN meta#Meta#14x20#Moriah#Jung in S14#Jack Kline Novak Winchester#Jack the Nephilim#Ouroboros narrative#Alchemy in S14
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Mothering as Spiritual Quality. Video from Conscious Parenting: Mindful Living Course for Parents
Conscious Parenting is AoL Mindfulness Training Book 5, a mindful living course designed for parents. This 12 modules personal development course is designed for parents. Using self-development techniques to support “positive parenting”, the ultimate goal is the physical, mental and emotional health of the whole family. Within parenting, the goal is to promote: an unobstructed learning from nature and freedom in the learning environment. Conscious living, through adopting a sustainable life-style, empowers eco-living, art, music, social bonding, the mind training with practices of mindfulness for kids and parents, developing emotional intelligence, creative thinking, and offering alternatives for modern technology. “Knowing that every woman and man is a star is one thing, walking the path while giving the individuals empowerment to act, within this matrix of choices, is something totally different. If we are not ready for the Cosmos manifesting in all its forms within our little ones, including rebellion, we will subdue his or her life-force.” Inspired by Waldorf educational model, and Finland educational system, with personal-development tools to look into parenting goals, dreams and priorities. In 2018 the book was voted as one of 5 of the best Personal Development Courses for kids and parents and had been on a number of Goodreads users’ lists for the Best Books for Parents. The book excerpts were published in the Sunday Times of Malta as Alternative Education Articles, and the Wikihow views hit the 900,000 views. As a Conscious Parent we acknowledge that "every child is an individual with a different growth rate and a potential that is varied and vast. Respecting the needs of these beautiful souls, listening to their unique voices, hearing their wants will assure them that no matter how tiny they are somebody will kneel down to Listen. Respecting the potential that is hidden within each child, we respect their potential to become Kings of their Trade, or Saviours of the World to come." Nataša Pantović, Conscious Parenting Course Ivana Milosavljevic, Mgr. Education Special Needs Message from Ivana the Conscious Parenting Consultant involved in the building of creativity and mindfulness exercises. 'Dear Parents, this book works with some essential parenting questions:
Is there such a thing as an ideal parent and an ideal growing environment
What is it that our little ones need to grow into happy, independent and fulfilled human beings
How to understand the needs of these gentle and pure souls
The Conscious Parenting Course was born out of these Magic Questions answering the secrets of how to travel within this most difficult journey. 'It is possible to get it RIGHT if we stick to the very basic principle of Self-Development and Spiritual Growth: encouraging within our children a strong capacity for feeling, rich soul experiences, with a capacity for strong mental growth and a potential for strong willpower.' But we can not do it alone. I keep saying to my kids: Please help me become a better and more loving parent! The course utilizes a variety of tools: mindfulness exercises, personality questionnaires, setting true personal goals, inner exploration through writing and drawing, creativity exercises, etc. With applied psychology exercises from both East and West philosophical schools, the course explores exercises to improve behavior patterns, understand the dynamics of subconscious mind and conscious thoughts, explores emotions, training mind powers through mindfulness and the willpower exercises, looking into goals, dreams, and building the personal development plans.
Positive Parenting Video from Conscious Parenting Course
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Sooner or later, somehow, anyhow, I was bound to write a novel. It seems vain to ask why. Men are born with various manias: from my earliest childhood, it was mine to make a plaything of imaginary series of events; and as soon as I was able to write, I became a good friend to the paper-makers. Reams upon reams must have gone to the making of ‘Rathillet,’ ‘The Pentland Rising,’ ‘The King’s Pardon’ (otherwise ‘Park Whitehead’), ‘Edward Daven,’ ‘A Country Dance,’ and ‘A Vendetta in the West’; and it is consolatory to remember that these reams are now all ashes, and have been received again into the soil. I have named but a few of my ill-fated efforts, only such indeed as came to a fair bulk ere they were desisted from; and even so they cover a long vista of years. ‘Rathillet’ was attempted before fifteen, ‘The Vendetta’ at twenty- nine, and the succession of defeats lasted unbroken till I was thirty-one. By that time, I had written little books and little essays and short stories; and had got patted on the back and paid for them — though not enough to live upon. I had quite a reputation, I was the successful man; I passed my days in toil, the futility of which would sometimes make my cheek to burn — that I should spend a man’s energy upon this business, and yet could not earn a livelihood: and still there shone ahead of me an unattained ideal: although I had attempted the thing with vigour not less than ten or twelve times, I had not yet written a novel. All — all my pretty ones — had gone for a little, and then stopped inexorably like a schoolboy’s watch. I might be compared to a cricketer of many years’ standing who should never have made a run. Anybody can write a short story — a bad one, I mean — who has industry and paper and time enough; but not every one may hope to write even a bad novel. It is the length that kills. The accepted novelist may take his novel up and put it down, spend days upon it in vain, and write not any more than he makes haste to blot. Not so the beginner. Human nature has certain rights; instinct — the instinct of self-preservation — forbids that any man (cheered and supported by the consciousness of no previous victory) should endure the miseries of unsuccessful literary toil beyond a period to be measured in weeks. There must be something for hope to feed upon. The beginner must have a slant of wind, a lucky vein must be running, he must be in one of those hours when the words come and the phrases balance of themselves — EVEN TO BEGIN. And having begun, what a dread looking forward is that until the book shall be accomplished! For so long a time, the slant is to continue unchanged, the vein to keep running, for so long a time you must keep at command the same quality of style: for so long a time your puppets are to be always vital, always consistent, always vigorous! I remember I used to look, in those days, upon every three-volume novel with a sort of veneration, as a feat — not possibly of literature — but at least of physical and moral endurance and the courage of Ajax.
In the fated year I came to live with my father and mother at Kinnaird, above Pitlochry. Then I walked on the red moors and by the side of the golden burn; the rude, pure air of our mountains inspirited, if it did not inspire us, and my wife and I projected a joint volume of logic stories, for which she wrote ‘The Shadow on the Bed,’ and I turned out ‘Thrawn Janet,’ and a first draft of ‘The Merry Men.’ I love my native air, but it does not love me; and the end of this delightful period was a cold, a fly-blister, and a migration by Strathairdle and Glenshee to the Castleton of Braemar. There it blew a good deal and rained in a proportion; my native air was more unkind than man’s ingratitude, and I must consent to pass a good deal of my time between four walls in a house lugubriously known as the Late Miss McGregor’s Cottage. And now admire the finger of predestination. There was a schoolboy in the Late Miss McGregor’s Cottage, home from the holidays, and much in want of ‘something craggy to break his mind upon.’ He had no thought of literature; it was the art of Raphael that received his fleeting suffrages; and with the aid of pen and ink and a shilling box of water colours, he had soon turned one of the rooms into a picture gallery. My more immediate duty towards the gallery was to be showman; but I would sometimes unbend a little, join the artist (so to speak) at the easel, and pass the afternoon with him in a generous emulation, making coloured drawings. On one of these occasions, I made the map of an island; it was elaborately and (I thought) beautifully coloured; the shape of it took my fancy beyond expression; it contained harbours that pleased me like sonnets; and with the unconsciousness of the predestined, I ticketed my performance ‘Treasure Island.’ I am told there are people who do not care for maps, and find it hard to believe. The names, the shapes of the woodlands, the courses of the roads and rivers, the prehistoric footsteps of man still distinctly traceable up hill and down dale, the mills and the ruins, the ponds and the ferries, perhaps the Standing Stone or the Druidic Circle on the heath; here is an inexhaustible fund of interest for any man with eyes to see or twopence-worth of imagination to understand with! No child but must remember laying his head in the grass, staring into the infinitesimal forest and seeing it grow populous with fairy armies. Somewhat in this way, as I paused upon my map of ‘Treasure Island,’ the future character of the book began to appear there visibly among imaginary woods; and their brown faces and bright weapons peeped out upon me from unexpected quarters, as they passed to and fro, fighting and hunting treasure, on these few square inches of a flat projection. The next thing I knew I had some papers before me and was writing out a list of chapters. How often have I done so, and the thing gone no further! But there seemed elements of success about this enterprise. It was to be a story for boys; no need of psychology or fine writing; and I had a boy at hand to be a touchstone. Women were excluded. I was unable to handle a brig (which the Hispaniola should have been), but I thought I could make shift to sail her as a schooner without public shame. And then I had an idea for John Silver from which I promised myself funds of entertainment; to take an admired friend of mine (whom the reader very likely knows and admires as much as I do), to deprive him of all his finer qualities and higher graces of temperament, to leave him with nothing but his strength, his courage, his quickness, and his magnificent geniality, and to try to express these in terms of the culture of a raw tarpaulin. Such psychical surgery is, I think, a common way of ‘making character’; perhaps it is, indeed, the only way. We can put in the quaint figure that spoke a hundred words with us yesterday by the wayside; but do we know him? Our friend, with his infinite variety and flexibility, we know — but can we put him in? Upon the first, we must engraft secondary and imaginary qualities, possibly all wrong; from the second, knife in hand, we must cut away and deduct the needless arborescence of his nature, but the trunk and the few branches that remain we may at least be fairly sure of.
On a chill September morning, by the cheek of a brisk fire, and the rain drumming on the window, I began The Sea Cook, for that was the original title. I have begun (and finished) a number of other books, but I cannot remember to have sat down to one of them with more complacency. It is not to be wondered at, for stolen waters are proverbially sweet. I am now upon a painful chapter. No doubt the parrot once belonged to Robinson Crusoe. No doubt the skeleton is conveyed from Poe. I think little of these, they are trifles and details; and no man can hope to have a monopoly of skeletons or make a corner in talking birds. The stockade, I am told, is from Masterman Ready. It may be, I care not a jot. These useful writers had fulfilled the poet’s saying: departing, they had left behind them
“Footprints on the sands of time,
Footprints which perhaps another—”
and I was the other! It is my debt to Washington Irving that exercises my conscience, and justly so, for I believe plagiarism was rarely carried farther. I chanced to pick up the Tales of a Traveller some years ago with a view to an anthology of prose narrative, and the book flew up and struck me: Billy Bones, his chest, the company in the parlour, the whole inner spirit, and a good deal of the material detail of my first chapters — all were there, all were the property of Washington Irving. But I had no guess of it then as I sat writing by the fireside, in what seemed the spring-tides of a somewhat pedestrian inspiration; nor yet day by day, after lunch, as I read aloud my morning’s work to the family. It seemed to me original as sin; it seemed to belong to me like my right eye. I had counted on one boy, I found I had two in my audience. My father caught fire at once with all the romance and childishness of his original nature. His own stories, that every night of his life he put himself to sleep with, dealt perpetually with ships, roadside inns, robbers, old sailors, and commercial travellers before the era of steam. He never finished one of these romances; the lucky man did not require to! But in Treasure Island he recognised something kindred to his own imagination; it was HIS kind of picturesque; and he not only heard with delight the daily chapter, but set himself acting to collaborate. When the time came for Billy Bones’s chest to be ransacked, he must have passed the better part of a day preparing, on the back of a legal envelope, an inventory of its contents, which I exactly followed; and the name of ‘Flint’s old ship’— the Walrus — was given at his particular request. And now who should come dropping in, ex machina, but Dr. Japp, like the disguised prince who is to bring down the curtain upon peace and happiness in the last act; for he carried in his pocket, not a horn or a talisman, but a publisher — had, in fact, been charged by my old friend, Mr. Henderson, to unearth new writers for Young Folks. Even the ruthlessness of a united family recoiled before the extreme measure of inflicting on our guest the mutilated members of The Sea Cook; at the same time, we would by no means stop our readings; and accordingly the tale was begun again at the beginning, and solemnly re-delivered for the benefit of Dr. Japp. From that moment on, I have thought highly of his critical faculty; for when he left us, he carried away the manuscript in his portmanteau.
Here, then, was everything to keep me up, sympathy, help, and now a positive engagement. I had chosen besides a very easy style. Compare it with the almost contemporary ‘Merry Men’, one reader may prefer the one style, one the other —‘tis an affair of character, perhaps of mood; but no expert can fail to see that the one is much more difficult, and the other much easier to maintain. It seems as though a full-grown experienced man of letters might engage to turn out Treasure Island at so many pages a day, and keep his pipe alight. But alas! this was not my case. Fifteen days I stuck to it, and turned out fifteen chapters; and then, in the early paragraphs of the sixteenth, ignominiously lost hold. My mouth was empty; there was not one word of Treasure Island in my bosom; and here were the proofs of the beginning already waiting me at the ‘Hand and Spear’! Then I corrected them, living for the most part alone, walking on the heath at Weybridge in dewy autumn mornings, a good deal pleased with what I had done, and more appalled than I can depict to you in words at what remained for me to do. I was thirty-one; I was the head of a family; I had lost my health; I had never yet paid my way, never yet made 200 pounds a year; my father had quite recently bought back and cancelled a book that was judged a failure: was this to be another and last fiasco? I was indeed very close on despair; but I shut my mouth hard, and during the journey to Davos, where I was to pass the winter, had the resolution to think of other things and bury myself in the novels of M. de Boisgobey. Arrived at my destination, down I sat one morning to the unfinished tale; and behold! it flowed from me like small talk; and in a second tide of delighted industry, and again at a rate of a chapter a day, I finished Treasure Island. It had to be transcribed almost exactly; my wife was ill; the schoolboy remained alone of the faithful; and John Addington Symonds (to whom I timidly mentioned what I was engaged on) looked on me askance. He was at that time very eager I should write on the characters of Theophrastus: so far out may be the judgments of the wisest men. But Symonds (to be sure) was scarce the confidant to go to for sympathy on a boy’s story. He was large-minded; ‘a full man,’ if there was one; but the very name of my enterprise would suggest to him only capitulations of sincerity and solecisms of style. Well! he was not far wrong.
Treasure Island — it was Mr. Henderson who deleted the first title, The Sea Cook — appeared duly in the story paper, where it figured in the ignoble midst, without woodcuts, and attracted not the least attention. I did not care. I liked the tale myself, for much the same reason as my father liked the beginning: it was my kind of picturesque. I was not a little proud of John Silver, also; and to this day rather admire that smooth and formidable adventurer. What was infinitely more exhilarating, I had passed a landmark; I had finished a tale, and written ‘The End’ upon my manuscript, as I had not done since ‘The Pentland Rising,’ when I was a boy of sixteen not yet at college. In truth it was so by a set of lucky accidents; had not Dr. Japp come on his visit, had not the tale flowed from me with singular case, it must have been laid aside like its predecessors, and found a circuitous and unlamented way to the fire. Purists may suggest it would have been better so. I am not of that mind. The tale seems to have given much pleasure, and it brought (or, was the means of bringing) fire and food and wine to a deserving family in which I took an interest. I need scarcely say I mean my own.
But the adventures of Treasure Island are not yet quite at an end. I had written it up to the map. The map was the chief part of my plot. For instance, I had called an islet ‘Skeleton Island,’ not knowing what I meant, seeking only for the immediate picturesque, and it was to justify this name that I broke into the gallery of Mr. Poe and stole Flint’s pointer. And in the same way, it was because I had made two harbours that the Hispaniola was sent on her wanderings with Israel Hands. The time came when it was decided to republish, and I sent in my manuscript, and the map along with it, to Messrs. Cassell. The proofs came, they were corrected, but I heard nothing of the map. I wrote and asked; was told it had never been received, and sat aghast. It is one thing to draw a map at random, set a scale in one corner of it at a venture, and write up a story to the measurements. It is quite another to have to examine a whole book, make an inventory of all the allusions contained in it, and with a pair of compasses, painfully design a map to suit the data. I did it; and the map was drawn again in my father’s office, with embellishments of blowing whales and sailing ships, and my father himself brought into service a knack he had of various writing, and elaborately FORGED the signature of Captain Flint, and the sailing directions of Billy Bones. But somehow it was never Treasure Island to me.
I have said the map was the most of the plot. I might almost say it was the whole. A few reminiscences of Poe, Defoe, and Washington Irving, a copy of Johnson’s Buccaneers, the name of the Dead Man’s Chest from Kingsley’s At Last, some recollections of canoeing on the high seas, and the map itself, with its infinite, eloquent suggestion, made up the whole of my materials. It is, perhaps, not often that a map figures so largely in a tale, yet it is always important. The author must know his countryside, whether real or imaginary, like his hand; the distances, the points of the compass, the place of the sun’s rising, the behaviour of the moon, should all be beyond cavil. And how troublesome the moon is! I have come to grief over the moon in Prince Otto, and so soon as that was pointed out to me, adopted a precaution which I recommend to other men — I never write now without an almanack. With an almanack, and the map of the country, and the plan of every house, either actually plotted on paper or already and immediately apprehended in the mind, a man may hope to avoid some of the grossest possible blunders. With the map before him, he will scarce allow the sun to set in the east, as it does in The Antiquary. With the almanack at hand, he will scarce allow two horsemen, journeying on the most urgent affair, to employ six days, from three of the Monday morning till late in the Saturday night, upon a journey of, say, ninety or a hundred miles, and before the week is out, and still on the same nags, to cover fifty in one day, as may be read at length in the inimitable novel of Rob Roy. And it is certainly well, though far from necessary, to avoid such ‘croppers.’ But it is my contention — my superstition, if you like- -that who is faithful to his map, and consults it, and draws from it his inspiration, daily and hourly, gains positive support, and not mere negative immunity from accident. The tale has a root there; it grows in that soil; it has a spine of its own behind the words. Better if the country be real, and he has walked every foot of it and knows every milestone. But even with imaginary places, he will do well in the beginning to provide a map; as he studies it, relations will appear that he had not thought upon; he will discover obvious, though unsuspected, short-cuts and footprints for his messengers; and even when a map is not all the plot, as it was in Treasure Island, it will be found to be a mine of suggestion.
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west ham high 2019 field trip permission slip
basic information
FULL NAME: allison marie pressman MEANING: (allison) truth; (marie) sea of bitterness, rebellion, wished-for child REASONING: her parents just liked the way it sounded with her older sister’s name. cassandra and allison. little did they know she’d end up being... NICKNAME(S): allie PREFERRED NAME(S): allie BIRTH DATE: february 7th, 2002 AGE: 17 ZODIAC: aquarius GENDER: female PRONOUNS: she/her ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: hetero- SEXUAL ORIENTATION: hetero- (though she’s never experimented) NATIONALITY: american ETHNICITY: a jumble of white european ancestors
background
BIRTH PLACE: west ham, ct HOMETOWN: west ham, ct SOCIAL CLASS: upper-middle-class FATHER: jim pressman MOTHER: amanda pressman née eliot SIBLING(S): cassandra pressman BIRTH ORDER: cassandra, then allie PET(S): she used to have a goldfish named, very creatively, goldie. it died on her 11th birthday. OTHER IMPORTANT RELATIVES: cousins campbell & samuel eliot PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS: none ARRESTS?: none PRISON TIME?: none
occupation & income
SOURCE OF INCOME: sporadic babysitting and dog-walking CONTENT WITH THEIR JOB (OR LACK THERE OF)?: can’t complain PAST JOB(S): none SPENDING HABITS: minimal. she doesn’t feel the need to spend much on anything but food. MOST VALUABLE POSSESSION: a pearl necklace her grandparents got her for her 16th birthday
skills & abilities
TALENTS: organizational skills, really good listener, articulating ideas/thinking things through SHORTCOMINGS: pretty much anything you have to study, haggling, cooking LANGUAGE(S) SPOKEN: ASL, english DRIVE?: well, she has her learner’s permit. JUMP-STAR A CAR?: nope. CHANGE A FLAT TIRE?: maybe? she’s never tried. RIDE A BICYCLE?: yes. SWIM?: very well, actually. she swam competitively until high school. PLAY AN INSTRUMENT?: she tried to teach herself guitar once. wasn’t a success. PLAY CHESS?: yes. BRAID HAIR?: of course. TIE A TIE?: definitely not. PICK A LOCK?: no.
physical appearance & characteristics
FACE CLAIM: kathryn newton EYE COLOR: blue HAIR COLOR: blonde HAIR TYPE/STYLE: somewhere between wavy and curly GLASSES/CONTACTS?: neither DOMINANT HAND: right HEIGHT: 5′5 WEIGHT: 127 lbs BUILD: slim, but she carries her weight on her hips EXERCISE HABITS: she ran in gym class. back when they had gym class. and she still keeps up with her swimming even though she’s no longer on a team. SKIN TONE: fair. TATTOOS: none. PEIRCINGS: one in each earlobe. MARKS/SCARS: small scar on her chin where she had to get stitches after a tag accident as a kid, raised but not discolored birthmark on her inner thigh NOTABLE FEATURES: thick eyebrows, button nose, big eyes USUAL EXPRESSION: slightly skeptical, watching everyone around her CLOTHING STYLE: comfortable & practical, but still cute. a variety of sweaters and graphic tees paired with all her many jeans. JEWELRY: always wearing a gold necklace with a simple star. often a pair of simple stud earrings. ALLERGIES: none. BODY TEMPERATURE: 97.9°, slightly below average & the reason her wardrobe consists of a number of sweaters and long-sleeved shirts DIET: whatever sounds good PHYSICAL AILMENTS: none
psychology
MORAL ALIGNMENT: lawful neutral TEMPERAMENT: melancholic ELEMENT: water MENTAL CONDITIONS/DISORDERS: none SOCIABILITY: medium-high. allie enjoys socializing and getting to know new people, she just feels like she already knows everyone in new ham. EMOTIONAL STABILITY: usually pretty levelheaded when it comes to her emotions. it’s hard to really get a reaction out of her other than mild annoyance. PHOBIA(S): the squeaky sound your teeth make when they rub against each other. ADDICTION(S): none DRUG USE: some weed use. ALCOHOL USE: less than most kids her age. PRONE TO VIOLENCE?: no.
mannerisms
QUIRKS: always wearing her star necklace HOBBIES: bothering her sister, searching spotify for new music, day hikes with grizz, swimming, teatime HABITS: sleeping in past noon, staying up past 2, bouncing her leg when she sits for too long NERVOUS TICKS: biting the inside of her lip, fidgeting her fingers DRIVES/MOTIVATIONS: her sister, her best friend, figuring herself out FEARS: losing her sister, not being enough. POSITIVE TRAITS: resilient, loyal, lively, observant NEGATIVE TRAITS: explosive, malleable, self-doubting SENSE OF HUMOR: she’s silly & loves to have fun, especially physically. the stupidest stuff can make her laugh. she especially likes a joke made out of an awkward situation. DO THEY CURSE OFTEN?: a little too often, probably. CATCHPHRASE(S): none
favorites
ACTIVITY: jam sessions with her sister ANIMAL: birds, specifically swans BEVERAGE: grapefruit flavored seltzer BOOK: when you reach me by rebecca stead. she had to read it for school in sixth grade and never forgot it. CELEBRITY: kristen bell. COLOR: blue. all shades. DESIGNER: “uhm... i don’t think i know any designers?” FOOD: a baco: soft taco spread with sour cream, wrapped around a hard taco layered in this order: meat, beans, cheese, guacamole, lettuce, tomato, extra cheese. FLOWER: hydrangea GEM: opal HOLIDAY: new year’s eve MODE OF TRANSPORTATION: long car rides MOVIE: the princess bride MUSICAL ARTIST: “i can’t pick just one!” QUOTE/SAYING: “in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of god” - aeschylus (courtesy of grizz) SCENERY: the view of a beach from up high on a cliff SCENT: her favorite tea, earl grey; the smell just after it rains SPORT: swimming SPORTS TEAM: usa olympic swim team TELEVISION SHOW: the vampire diaries WEATHER: thunderstorms VACATION DESTINATION: any beach. literally any one.
attitudes
GREATEST DREAM: to find a purpose or a calling. GREATEST FEAR: losing her sister. MOST AT EASE WHEN: hanging out with cassandra at home, just doing normal mundane things LEAST AT EASE WHEN: asked to make a decision that affects others BIGGEST ACHIEVEMENT: assistant stage manager on the school play this spring. BIGGEST REGRET: not realizing how much her parents did for her MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT: when she was 8, she called harry a “big doofus” in front of all the neighborhood kids and refused to play tag if he was playing too BIGGEST SECRET: that once she wished she was sick instead of cassandra so that she could get a little attention TOP PRIORITIES: her sister
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[28]
Tagged by: @goddamnitkastle (YAYAYAY ANOTHER ONE!)
1. how tall are you? 5′3″
2. what color and style is your hair? Dark brown. A couple of stray silver strands. When the light hits it right you can see natural auburn-y red highlights/tones in it, especially near the ends. I wear it long, down to my lower back, usually parted in the middle (sometimes on the left) and with bangs. Usually blunt-cut across my brows, but I'm not as good about trimming them as I ought to be so they usually end up growing out long enough that I need to brush them off to the right.
3. what color are your eyes? Brown
4. do you wear glasses? My cat-eye specs are basically part of my identity at this point.
5. do you wear braces? Nope
6. what is your fashion style? I have contempt for this question that likes of which you cannot believe. XD I guess in the most general sense it's rock-chic. Rock/metal girl elements mixed with glamorous or feminine elements/silhouettes. But this is MASSIVELY boiling down my massive wardrobe and I've certainly had moments of departure from the rock-chic umbrella depending on how I'm feeling. I dislike strictly adhering to specific style labels; I find it stifling.
7. full name? Brenda Lee Larson. My maiden name is cooler to be honest; I only changed it because I was more interested in sharing a surname with the Honey and I know I can still use my maiden name for other things.
8. when were you born? July 24, 1987
9. where are you from and where do you live now? Technically born in Coupeville on Whidbey Island, WA, USA and spent the first 4 years of my life bouncing around different naval stations because my family was about that Navy Life, but the majority of my formative years Spokane, WA, USA so my assumption is that would be more accurately where I'm "from." (Hawaii is where my heart wants to say I'm from though as that's where my earliest memories take place~) After some years spent CA (first in the Bay and then in LA), I'm currently living just south of Seattle, WA. So. Basically I've been wiggling around the West Coast my whole life, including going so far west I ditched the mainland for a spell.
10. what school do you go to? I WORK at a school currently, Cornish. Freelancing as a house manager for 3 of their 4 venues. The 4th one never seems to put on any events that require one of us from the house management roster, otherwise I'd work gigs at that one, too. XD
11. what kind of student are you? Some of you who make these questionnaires clearly cannot think beyond life-after-schooling and it shows. XD I was an above-average student for the vast majority of my years in schooling but I started falling off a little toward the end, largely because I was very keenly aware of what areas of study pertained to me and my interests/goals, and I had no patience for areas of study that did not. I left before it got too bad.
12. do you like school? I liked the parts of school that spoke to me~
13. what are your favorite school subjects? Literature/English was always the major go-to throughout all of my years of schooling. I was in Choir up until highschool; this was when Theatre became available to me and I wasn't able to participate in both, so I parted ways with Choir and focused on Theatre all the way up through my last years of schooling. Other subjects of interest, in highschool: Photography, Psychology, Forensic Science, World History. In college: Creative Writing, Journalism, Japanese.
14. favorite TV shows? The major ones have been racy period dramas The Tudors and The Borgias. I grew up on Star Trek TOS and as such it has a very dear place in my heart despite it not being a racy period drama. XD I also am quite invested in the Netflix MCU with Daredevil and The Punisher being my two favorite shows (Frank is my everything!). More currently I've been expanding my Sanada-san filmography-binge thanks in large part to @anagraves; I recently finished the 1993 Koukou Kyoushi and am through episode 10 of Konna Koi no Hanashi. What I've been learning from this - Hiroyuki Sanada knows how to break hearts whether he's being soft and vulnerable to cold and cruel and anything in between, but that's exactly why I love him.
INB4 "you post Snow White everything so why isn't OUAT on here" I do enjoy OUAT a lot, but I don't know if I would consider it a favorite show overall. I'm more fond of the earlier seasons than the later seasons and it's that ambivalent feeling I have for the later seasons that make the show not a favorite - but still very good overall.
It's also at this point that I should probably explain what my blog description does not - my blog started running a Snow White-themed queue LARGELY as part of an inspiration-drive for a Snow White AU project that I haven't actually touched in a long time. I REALLY should do something about that; I just keep getting pulled in other directions and now it's years on and here I am with what's basically a Snow White queueblog. XD If I can ever get my dumb head in gear and FINISH what I've started, that would honestly result in the queue being mass-posted and then probably altered to suit whatever the next project would be. That's always been the intention, anyway.
15. favorite movies? While I'm still feeling the chilly gaze of my Snow White queue, my favorite Snow White movie thus far is Mirror Mirror. I think it's massively underrated and that makes me sad.
As far as Disney is concerned, while I have a HUGE amount of respect for Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, my favorite film growing up was Beauty and the Beast (and my Rococo-loving ass does adore the live action remake). Surprise??? XD More recently, Moana is the film of my heart; it's the closest Disney has gotten to making a Princess culturally-relevant to me as a half-Filipina so my tropical islander ass is just utterly enamoured with Moana. ((Listen Disney if you ever decide to make a super fun colorful precolonial Philippine film THE PERFECT PRINCESS EXISTS FOR THAT, I submit for your consideration - Urduja!)
Because of my rather open-door childhood with regard to media, my earliest favorite movies are actually Nightmare on Elm Street and Nightmare on Elm Street: Dream Warriors. Freddy is my Nightmare King Murder Boyfriend and I'm prepared to face judgement for that. XD
Fondness for Star Trek TOS has resulted in an affection for the AOS movies~
But a movie that speaks to me very much is What Dreams May Come.
Currently I've gotten re-ensnared into The Last Samurai, in correlation with the most recent AU project. Because I am hopeless, Grumpy Samurai is Best Samurai, and I've been spending time manically fretting and pretending that because Ujio drops before the gatling guns are brought out, maybe he SOMEHOW managed to survive in SOME way and he can have tons of cool battle scars. Right? ... RIGHT???
16. favorite books? If manga counts then it's Angel Sanctuary. Hands down. No contest. It's easily woven itself into my life in the form of fanfic that is/was well-received within the fandom, and a weirdly HUGE list of AUs that somehow burst out of nowhere. (Currently all of it, AU work included, can be read via my FF.Net account under brenli. I have a placeholder page on AO3 that's currently empty but may end up holding all my content there as well, in time. If I can ever make the time.)
I was and am really into Sue Harrison's Ivory Carver series, particularly My Sister the Moon.
It was part of my middle school/junior high reading curriculum but I honestly DID really like The Diving Bell by Todd Strasser. Even if the cover art of Culca coming up out of the ocean looked A LOT like me and resulted in my class calling me Culca for the entirety of our unit on that book. It's fine. Culca is a badass queen of pearls and seawater so I'm happy to be associated with her~!
Every now and then I remember a book that clearly really resonated with my as a child if I still remember it, but the problem is that I don't remember the title or the author, or even any of the characters' names. It was about a Roma girl who lived in the American south - I wanna say Tennesee? - who was discovered for her talent playing guitar and singing country music. The book essentially details her struggle between her traditional roots as a Roma person, including the arrangement for her to be married young, and her interest in pursuing music as a career but feeling alienated by an industry and a society at large that is wealthier than her and has a different culture from her own. The book ends with her running away but it isn't made clear what her ultimate fate is. To this DAY it bothers me that I don't remember the title or the author because I honestly go through periods where I want to reread it. And yes, this was the kind of stuff I was reading as a child. XD I also read My Sister the Moon for the first time when I was like. 11 years old. If you're familiar with the content of that book then you're aware that certain scenes are really not 11-year-old friendly, but. If I can watch gratuitous 80's slasher horror at age 4 then I can read about a young woman surviving sexual abuse at age 11.
17. favorite pastime? Writing at this rate, honestly. Which probably speaks more to my inner tortured artist than anything else. XD
18. do you have any regrets? I feel like everybody has at least one regret and anyone who says otherwise is either very very young, or lying. XD It's not about whether you have regrets, it's about not letting them hold you in the past.
19. dream job? Telling stories, in any and every way attainable to me.
20. would you like to get married someday? I already am~
21. would you like to have kids someday? Absolutely not. I don't feel like my life is conducive to childrearing, and INB4 "you're never truly ready" and "you make it work" the key factor here is I'm not WILLING to become ready and I'm not WILLING to make it work. That's how I know my life is not conducive to childrearing. XD (I'm at that age where tons of people are asking me this and feeding me words meant to encourage me to consider and it's honestly EXHAUSTING by this point. I can't wait for when I'm menopausal maybe people will finally shut up about it because I'll be past my prime~)
23. do you like shopping? I mean, yes, but I usually avoid it because I'm aware of how impulsive I am.
24. what countries have you visited? I'm tempted to say that Hawaii should count because it's so far away from the mainland. XD But honestly I've never been outside of US territory. It's in the plans to try for Japan during the Tokyo 2020 Olympics. I'm not sure if we'll make that goal but if not, I figure it won't hurt to continue saving up anyway and making a Tokyo trip post-Olympics. Prices will be cheaper post-Olympics, anyway, so~
25. what’s the scariest nightmare you’ve ever had? At the risk of raising weird red flags I've gone through periods where I'll have reoccurring nightmares about being actively pursued by someone who very obviously intends to do harm. It happens often enough that the Honey wonders if I'm mentally suppressing something. XD I did have a standalone dream though, where me and the Honey were asleep in bed and then I become aware that someone's broken into the house and is approaching our bed. I'm walking through every possible option in my head with my eyes shut; if the Honey and I both lunged at the attacker we could possibly overpower them just because it would be two against one. But I know that I can't possibly wake up the Honey and make him aware of the situation without the attacker immediately acting and resulting in at least one of us being injured or killed. I realize that I have no choice but to try and take the attacker by surprise by myself and hope that is enough. I make peace with that. I can feel the attacker leaning over me. I suddenly lunge at them in full primal adrenaline-filled rage.
I wake up.
26. do you have any enemies? I guess that I have a few, yes, but honestly at this point I've gotten probably a little too used to being vilified. Barring physical assault or turning the animosity on innocent third parties in my life, I am prepared to weather the metaphorical lashes.
27. do you have an s/o? I have my Honey~
28. do you believe in miracles? I believe in miracles that aren't the overt surface-level wish-fulfillment-from-above which I think most people expect a miracle to be. I think that sometimes luck plays out via a slim-to-none chance and that can be a miracle. I think that sometimes a person works very hard at something or for something and when they achieve it, that can be a miracle. I think that the butterfly effect is a double-edged sword, but sometimes that little flutter of a butterfly's wings is a miracle.
Tagging: @yacky-jackie @halorecoil @anagraves @benevolentqueenofstars @lesbomancy @candybunnieholic @lemonedscream @tinathefish
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I would absolutely love to get some new threads going for some of my kids so please COMMENT HERE with who you would like a starter with & which character of yours: roy harper, dick grayson, itsuaki akihiro, adrianne rayner, tobias osborn allan, apollo west, nadir dane summers, thomas curry II, t’charra, uriah fries, eli rasputin, elana dent, natasha romanoff, coralie beaubier jinadu, or ronen haller
Info on each below the cut:
roy harper - fc: domhnall gleeson, 45, he/him, archer, weapon specialist
archer, formerly speedy, formerly red arrow, former addict, now arsenal & archery instructor, giant dork, dresses like he’s camping 24/7, full of quips and sarcastic jokes, tinkerer, creates weapons, whatever gadgets come to mind, ‘rockabilly genius’, loving father godfather and uncle, engaged to jason todd
dick grayson - fc: adam rodriguez, 45, he/him, acrobat, expert hand to hand combat, highly skilled detective
acrobat, the first Robin, ‘boy wonder’, former circus kid turned billionaire’s first son, now nightwing & gymnastics teacher , high rises, daring jumps, overdramatic, very openly a giant dork, big heart, loves his family, too much trauma, genius level intellect, fashion disaster, adores his family, would die for his children
itsuaki akihiro - fc: ryan potter, 22, he/him, son of Daken Akihiro, bone adamantium claws, accelerated healing, pheromone control/manipulation
not quite a villain but not a hero either, traveled with his father until he was 15, never knew his mother, more shadows than light, more friends than he realises, expert fighter, skeptical and cynical, loves soft things more than he cares to admit, hot drinks and nights in, has more aunts and uncles than he can count
adrianne rayner - fc: cierra ramirez, 19, she/her, daughter of Kyle Rayner and Soranik Natu (biological), green lantern ring
green lantern, space baby, part alien, yellow eyes & pointed ears, grew up on Oa, trained and skilled fighter, ray of sunshine, loves exploring, travelling, optimistic to a fault, serious mother issues, artist, paints and watercolour, always has a sketchbook in her bag, wild imagination but wildly innocent, a little naive, loves learning but hates school
tobias osborn allan - fc: francisco lachowski, 23, he/him, son of Liz Allan and Harry Osborn (biological), goblin serum enhanced
normal kid turned rich, enhanced with advanced goblin serum, former party boy, law student, avid studier, loves music written by his boyfriend, gym addict, genius level intellect for business and law, loves exploring, learning, experiencing as much as possible, reading, studying, lazy afternoons in parks with books and snacks, huge hopeless romantic, way too charming for his own good, knows he’s hot and he’s not sorry about it
apollo west - fc: cameron monaghan, 26, he/him, son of Wally West (biological) and Artemis Crock (adoptive), conduit of the speedforce
speedster, twin, police officer, kid flash, future flash, terrified of death, terrified of failure, full of energy, desperate to be a hero, runs and runs and runs, being outdoors, visiting city upon city in a day, loves going home to central city or keystone, adores his family
nadir ezra dane summers - fc: avan jogia, he/him, 22, son of lorna dane & alex summers (biological), light manipulation
mutant, twin, full of light literally, childhood trauma, quite days in, movies and books, more for observation than talking, small groups over large crowds, psychology student, late nights and bad sleep, old books, music blaring through headphones, mutant rallies, suppressed memories
thomas curry II - fc: keahu kahuanui, 27, he/him, son of arthur curry & mera (biological), aquatic telepathy, superhuman enhancements, hydrokenisis
part atlantean, eldest living son, heir to the throne, honour and duty, determined to bring land and sea together, currently aqualad, future aquaman & king of atlantis, travelling, learning, growing, genius intellect, determined to learn as much as possible about both of his worlds, will always love the sea the most, swimming, beach days, big waves, road trips
t’charra - fc: chris o’neal, 20, he/him, son of t’charra & nakia (bioligical)
party boy, disaster, reckless, late nights, strong drinks, VIP, tech nerd, science geek, future head of science and information exchange in wakanda, youngest prince, father issues, self-destructive, hangovers, sunglasses, nightowl, too smart for his own good but no where near clever enough, one night stands, long days in labs
uriah fries - fc: jordan fisher, 27, he/him/they/them, son of nora & victor fries (biological), weaponry & combat, freeze technology
future doctor, mob connections, shades of grey, long days and double shifts, raised by the rogues, so much coffee, ballet dancer, long practices & pointe shoes, hopeless romantic, falls hard and fast, affinity for the cold, never quite a villain, dramatic gestures, mask of charm & suave
eli rasputin - fc: james reid, 24, he/him, son of illyana rasputin (adoptive), mario falcone (biological, unaware), wind manipulation
v soft, mutant, filled with hope, giant bookworm, loves his cat more than he loves most people, english lit ta, huge nerd; named his cat matilda after the character, you can find him in the library most of the time, loves his baby brother more than anything, always has a book in his hands or in his bag, will always use his powers for fun before fighting
elana dent - fc: nathalie emmanuel, 24, she/her, daughter of harvey dent (adoptive), highly skilled thief & advanced combat
all sharp smirks and charm, does absolutely everything with reckless abandon, loves a challenge - just to prove you wrong, mask of manipulation, huge abandonment issues, constantly channeling her inner selina kyle, master thief in training, entirely dedicated to her big brother ; terrified of losing him, late nights full of adventure, great wall of china built high around her heart
natasha romanoff - fc: jamie chung, appears 30 (biologically 90), she/her, black widow, highly skilled spy & ballet teacher
espionage, extreme ballet routines, tough but fair, pointe shoes & messy buns, oversizes sweaters probably stolen from Clint, highly protective of all of the avengers kids, still in mourning for her own baby, will do anything for family, highly perceptive, giant dork, probably knows more pop culture references than you, always good for a hug
coralie beaubier-jinadu - fc: alisha wainwright, 26, they/them, child of jean paul beaubier & kyle jinadu (adoptive), winged flight & empathic healing
glowing marks on their skin, brown wings (think maleficent style), highly empathic, loves children, midwifery is their calling, broken hearted high school sweetheart situation, crazy hair, big smiles, protective big sibling complex, will always put you before themselves, photography nut, loves to fly as often as possible, endless optimism even in the face of the worst
ronen haller - fc: suraj sharma, 20, he/him, child of david haller & jonathan starsmore (adoptive), gabriel summers (biological, unknown), energy manipulation
explosive & emotional, naive to a fault, reckless & ready to dive into anything, looking for the next learning curve, ridiculously attached to his dad, hates enclosed spaces, cold rooms & examination tables make up most of his childhood, constantly fighting for control of his powers, deep purple energy, late nights and early mornings, aspires to make his fathers proud one day, socially awkward pretty much always
noah rogers - fc: toni mahfud, 28, he/him, son of Steve Rogers (adoptive), enhanced vision, skilled assassin
raised by the league of assassins until 14, arrogant and cocky to no end, cool calm and collected, very guarded, not a good guy, charming to a fault, will manipulate you for his own ends, widowed father to an 18 month old son, do not touch his child, freelance assassin graphic designer, trusts very few people but will use anyone he can to get what he needs
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