#inge sargent

[chrysocomae]

Colorized picture of Inge Sargent (Sao Nang Thu Sandi) and Sao Kya Seng

[sevs-corner]

I kinda wanna have a Super power/superhuman AU with the Tf 141 crew just for funsies or the COD universe characters really then put ‘em in the main campaign plot

Like Roach (yes I am hc-ing him with the current guys) has the powers to become an actual Roach.

Man is unkill-able in the field—

Shot in the chest?

Doesn’t matter, he’s up in a matter of seconds again.

Knife to the neck?

He’s using that knife to stab whoever stabbed him.

AC-130 from above?

You can beat your ass he’s surviving the blast and launching a RPG right back at ‘em.

The only time he's incapacitated is when someone aims bugs spray at him or simply a shower with some soap.

(Is he stinky? No, he takes water bathes and uses dry shampoo- but there are definitely some days where they have to force him to shower and it just makes him faint for a couple of hours.)

Soap has gotta have something related to speed! I mean, that is how he originally got his moniker right? So quick and clean to clear out a place, then he's a quickly out in a second.

So think of the times when he's been the player's FPS--

I think he would have something along the lines of 'accelerated movement and perception.' Meaning, he can manually activate those time slowing moments when you bomb open a room (back in the original MW series)

Which is how I'd like to think that's how he got his name in this AU!

Of course, he has to train how long he can maintain this state both mentally and physically as both aspects of body gets severely affected with drawbacks as his body doesn't catch up or sync with his abilities.

At the beginning, he could hold it for 5 seconds, from when he enters the room to accurately shooting out all of the enemies weak points and clearing out a room.

Its more like, he gets affected by his powers more intrinsically compared to it being effective extrinsically on his environment.

But of course, he uses this to mess with people all the time-- especially with his other sargents in the force, or in training with the other soldiers under him.

It helps people keep them on their toes and think quite ahead of them in a way that it has to be instinctual.

"Just be like LT," he says, "he can predict my movements without even blinkin' a wee lash at me."

He whines as he proceeds to sneak onto Ghost who just ignores him as he falls through his form.

Yes, Ghost definitely has 'phasing' related abilities that makes him a good match with Soap because he has to manually activate the abilities. It's not like its unconsciously activated all the time, where he just phases through everything (imagine trying to sleep and then you're suddenly 6ft under lmao- he wouldn't mind that though) or does it get activate throughout his entire body. That's a level he hasn't quite reached yet but doesn't desire it either.)

It only activated at will and at a certain are for a certain amount of time, just like Soap.

So, in practice when trading blows, its always a game of "what if?" with them.

A will-he-won't-he dilemma that just makes the dynamic much more fun!

Also, further down the line, I don't think evolving these powers are good either; for example, Ghost could use his phasing powers and inflict it on a bullet and then shoot said bullet- time it in a way that, before it hits its target, it can pass through walls and kill said person.

Yeah, that seems too OP and broken.

Gaz! I would like to think that he has camouflaging abilities, not like- straight up invisibility, you can still see him but he's very well-hidden in his environment.

From the campaigns I've watched so far with him being one of the playable characters again as the player, he seems like an adaptable to any situation type of guy.

So, I think this fits him best!

He definitely excels during stealth missions where he gets the fun off of sneaking in as one of the enemies but also thrives in the chaos of a battle per se, where he can easily disrupt enemy lines and trust by acting as one of them and creating a "betrayal" of sorts.

A mind game which he easily plays every single time.

At this point, he's used to it-- especially when he's dealing with Soap and LT, who are the duo to beat when it comes to their sparring sessions.

Camouflage all he likes, he still has to gain the upper hand by reading them before he gets read like an open book.

Captain Price, the man, the myth, the legend himself has gotta have something unique. Although the usual Captain America powers lines up to him and his character but I thought of something more interesting- in tribute to his intelligence and strategic planning as the head of the task force.

Something along the lines of 'mental projection,' and I know it sounds general so let's break it down~!

What I was imagining with this power is that he's able to be like a real life hologram, where he can project the things he's thinking of in the real world, but all of it is still imaginary.

For example, he can replicate a gun and use it to shoot somebody, but it won't kill and that person who got shot will notice immediately.

Although, a unique thing to Price's ability (once it further gets trained and developed) it can be activated at multiple targets at once.

So, even though he shot a fake gun, Price can manipulate into their "reality" that they did get shot by the "gun" he had in his hand.

Yes, this takes great effort in his part because he has to make it convincing enough and anything half-assed would look shoddy and unbelievable.

So, he keeps this power hidden, only using it at opportune times with little to no explanations-- like a secret weapon, an ace hidden up his sleeve, waiting to be used only when it becomes a last resort to.

More than anyone, he tops the mind games everyone plays with each other to get the most out of their ability as much as possible.

(Even the task force members don't know the extent of Price's powers- hence the great importance of keeping it lowkey and behind close doors for Price.)

Alex (another unofficial member in my hc) is definitely something related to being a sharpshooter-- just like one of the last mission in the first MW!

Its somewhat kind of like energy manipulation, where the further that he is-- the stronger the impact of his bullets are, per se (if he infuses it with his powers.)

He can also control the size of it- choosing whether to be like a bullet, a lazer, or a blast.

Yes, he does often get kidnapped by Roach to take down the AC-130s.

One of the downsides is that, he can't just shoot out straight off energy-- it HAS to infuses something. He can't alter its state but more often like granting it a special ability for a limited time to enhance it, but at the same time- is dependent on how long he infuses it for.

No, he does not have a stash of infused bullets- it wears off over time.

Imagine him sparring against Soap, and in the time he's dodging and swearing through Soap's endless barrel of hits-- he's charging up his knee pad; that when the opportune time comes, he's stuffed it with so much energy that it makes Soap flying off.

So, it kind of makes it more of a time-dependent ability than a distance-dependent one (but he likes to confuse and confound people like the captain.)

As for the other characters in the series, I'm gonna do a quick list with little explanations and divulge 'em more in a later post (its still raw, i need a lil more cooking time ajsdhkjsdf) Ending note, most of the powers have equal conditions of activation, drawbacks, and counterbalances in hopes that it doesn't make it overpowering and actually seem to be more like an ability that can be overcame if strategized against properly. (Fun side note: I'm an OW player so I've seen my fair share of disasters when it comes to this, so of course I know how bad it can get lmao). I also want it to be a point that, when I come to writing this out in the plot of the campaign/story mode of the games, its still in tune with it but a little more wacky and kind of more challenging to overcome.

[bam-bi-buck]

8x07 SPOILERS

Ouch for Athena

So many loafs!

Maddie bringing in the universe! 👀

Detective Buck!!!!

Awww the hug is so sweet

“Is this Brad Torrance?”

“It is love! Send help!” Lmao

Oh dang

Him being concerned about getting the shot - goodness

“Hovering closer than my shadow?” That’s a fun saying, don’t think I’ve heard that one before

It’s Sargent, not ma’am

“Yes ma’am- I mean Sargent!” lol

Hen’s look when Buck is talking about wanting to text him - that stare piercing

The chief walking in while Eddie’s playing keep away with Buck’s phone

Booo “better start praying” grow a pair don’t tell a star they can snatch somebody from their job

Sparks feels off to me

“That’s real power” ew

Athena testing him like that, girl, don’t do that he’s gonna come after you I feel it

Athena also doesn’t like him! (Vindication!)

Hen and Athena besties!! I’ve missed them chatting

Bobby keeps getting hugs he doesn’t want 😭

“Twice in one week, what a blessing”

Omgod dude, Bobby’s married, leave him be

I don’t feel bad for Gerrard but I do feel uncomfortable watching him cry

Take that elsewhere dude, I don’t wanna see that

Telling my mom about the “he wants the cookie so f-ing bad meme” to explain the craziness of Brad’s obsession with Bobby

Sparks went “weee!”

Sparks dangling in the wind is such a funny sight

He almost went splat

“Don’t be a bitch, rob” reminds me of Grace telling the dude, “gods plan!”

Thanks for the assist, she saved your ass dude

Elaine listen to Athena! Dude has something wrong with him

200, 000k - me and my mom “DANG!”

Dude is such a sneak, why are you listening to peoples conversations creepy?

Love Maddie and Chim being like here! Have our child for the night, she’ll cheer you up! Bye!!

“All of them!” “That’s the best answer” he’s such a good uncle, he’s so good with kids, I love him, I love them, I adore the Buckley-Han family unit, y’all 🥺🥺🥺

Leader of Man! That’s Bobby!

God Brad is being a freak - shut up dude

You’re so right Bobby, she absolutely deserves an apology

Everyone immediately recording, if he’s this brazen around Bobby who hes obsessed with I’m surprised there aren’t a bunch of videos that the team brought up after learning Bobby was working with him

Holy shit

Why did you reach for a weapon at all? You didn’t need one asshole

Calling it a taser over and over again doesn’t make it one, dumbass

Gotta say, I prefer when we don’t have police based storylines but Angela Bassett is such a memorizing actress

I’m glad we see Sparks having to deal with the consequences of his actions at least, if we have to have this kind of storyline

Then saying “limey ass” in unison - beautiful

Also love the show immediately proving me right, there should be so many Brad Torrance videos!

Love a good “____ behind me, aren’t they?” moment

Omgod he’s gonna shadow Bobby

Oh poor Bobby, Brad’s gonna cause so much buffoonery, isn’t he?

The promo with Eddie being in the car while the water rises reminds me of S1 when Buck was in the elevator with the water rising

[local-maenad]

Look ing through the TRC tag again… just out of curiosity and realizing that the way people feel about Adam… that’s me but with Blue Sargent god I love her so much she deserves the world

[artcalledtattoo]

Since 73’ cabinets

Like in present state of things

Stickers of old

Leadership past retirement

Wtf!

Cabinet filled with the oldest non educated thangs & schlongs

Dried up, can’t get up

But you Lead a country

Popping pills

JFK plunges in veins

Perhaps, I heard it was a juicy cocktail

I really don’t know?

Ratified amendments add more

Think in scope

Pulverize the things

Globe Warming - a real

Lone Gunman - pay attention, real

Prescripted - swallow before speaking

Born into LIFE - still fighting, know your places, cardboard bored

You dumb fuck just wasted a life?

And or energy anyways

Keep trying

Conglomerates

I’ll place you in America

Right where standing

Is it a need to global functionality

You just might be

I’m still thinking

I’m fucking off like work crews

Of my nights no rights R E S T assured

Just push pounds by hand

To easy drill Sargent

And last but not least

.|. Fuck you !

I’m playing tomorrow

Life in cabinet

I was just pissed of equality last evening early morning

No cardboard posters written in plastic

I’ll play into things come evening

Watch Me Zoom, Go

Cabinets

Like people against a wall

Fat fucks without artery control

It happens

I’ve Bin Jamming Long Enough

R N R

Never REST

And I don’t rust

I shine on even covered in sacred DUST

Post on to dumbs hits

I do (without paid for invitation to party)

From a mouth of madness

A racial story going on back threes years past in cabinets

Sticker lowly

Pulled applied in many applications

Watch videos

All told! All totaled! New notebook

On company time must write analog catalog preach speak time on clock in written form, let’s Email & total

It will slow thangs down or de-appreciate in time, lives do when grabbing for

Nothing, word for thy self, I am

Like a present day cabinet, ladders, rungs,

Stoopid stuffs in charge

Feeling Me, born 74

After up affixed stickers

Or down below

After post

Where are my hecklers?

Has nothing said been funny?

Do you read Sutter Caine

Certified after sticker print

No funny, uhh

Dopamine depletion alcohol gambling

Or

A

Phone screen needed

I work so hard and see

Even the sticklers

Snicker

Like standing posers

Wall faces postered

Leadership power

Fuck you also

.|.

That’s mine don’t use it ( .|. )

Prunt

Summoning up

Can I with candles?

I’m rest-ing

Thinking

Wondering

Asked ?

I do for Sons and youngest has 4 years of my energy for service

Not a problem for me in happy for those two, I only put up with you

Wanna bet longevity?

Last manager told of your problems

And you of hers

I don’t see this bet on miracle

Please stay the same

Both of you

I won’t have to put up for Bonus

I make it happen

You don’t really

Technically

Do nothing

For me

I know

And thank you

I don’t want to be you

I never had that want

FastFood & full cabinets

Fucked you are

Human material make ups!

[theredandwhitequeen]

Book 7 of the 50 book challenge. Twilight over Burma by Inge Sargent. Autobiography about wife of a Shan Prince in Burma between 1953 and 1964. The Author’s husband was murdered by the military in Burma after the coup in 1962. Its a great book and heartbreaking. The author and her husband met in Colorado and she was from Austria. I highly recommend it.

[tyrianlynch]

Jordeclan and Bluesey parallels:

• Rich Man dating the Unlikely Girl With Odd Clothing Choices

• Girl has Feelings abt boy’s shoes

• Girl has Opinions and Internalized Angst

• Boy seems Put Together but has a contradictory Inner Monologue

• Date super intensely without KISSING

• Revolve greatly around someone named Sargent

[addc10]

THAT’S MY AMERICAN GINGER SON!!

[storm-breaker7]

Not so Accidental

Pairing: Tech x Ex-Bounty Hunter! gn! Reader

Summery: A force sensitive, ex bounty hunter is tasked, by the republic, to 'get this elite squad of genetically enhanced clones in line.' The republics words not theirs.

Warnings: uh none I think..??

-

I frowned, Anakin- one of the best Jedi I got to know when I was still in the order- waited with baited breath for my answer.

A sigh escaped my lips, "Fine." I mumbled. Anakin was about to explode with euphoria until I waved my hand, "But you better make sure that I will stop being continually chased down by the Jedi for their mysterious needs"

"Oh don't worry I'll handle the council, I'll show you your team" He smiled and started to walk of with myself following his lead.

"This had better be worth the money and my time" I sighed, rolling my eyes.

Oh I had no idea how wrong I was...

-

"Who are you?" A tall snarky ass of a guy asked flicking his toothpick in my direction,

"Your parent" I replied sarcastically, before Anakin gestured for me to stop.

"Where's Hunter?" Anakin asked as he scanned over the room. Crosshair shrugged and went back to cleaning his rifle.

"Right here General, who's this?" The Sargent of this squad walked in from the door behind us with two other men in somewhat matching armour.

"Your Commander. Everyone meet Y/n, Y/n meet The bad batch" Anakin gestured his hands around at the mention of this squad like a proud father.

"Uhm and why do we all of a sudden have a commander?" The bulky dude at the back of the pack asked.

"Because the Jedi feel that this squad needs someone to help this squad tone down the crazy, but knowing Y/n they'll just make it worse" Anakin laughed to himself and I smiled, old memories flashing by. "Now I've gotta get going. I'm sure you can introduce yourselves"

But before even waiting for an answer, Anakin sped out the door and down the hall probably trying to get back to his cruiser.

I heard the rain pelt down on the outside walls and windows it was that quiet. Hunter slowly turned to me and sucked in a deep breath. He quickly glanced at the tall goggled guy next to him.

"Well I'm Hunter, uh sir," He introduced and glanced at the guy next to him.

"Tech," he gestured lazily at himself, "I understand that we should use formalities but must we?"

"No, your fine. I'm not a Jedi, haven't been for a long time." I smiled lightly and glanced up at the towering hunk behind the two,

"Oh, uh... The names Wrecker" He introduced awkwardly but happily and walked off elsewhere in the white washed room.

The last guy looked up at Hunter then me and grumbled a barely audible, "Crosshair" and continued to clean his rifle in his own little world.

I nodded slightly, smiled to myself as the others made themselves comfy. I laid down on the cold floor and closed my eyes then rested my hands behind my head. I could hear some heavy footsteps and I think Wrecker sat down next to me.

"What are you doing?" He whispered,

"Nothing, why are we whispering?" I whispered back,

"uhm.. 'cause." He whispered, "Are you jedi-ing?"

"Meditating?" I asked, "Yea, kinda..." I opened my eyes and looked up at his looming figure.

"ohhhh" He nodded coming to a realisation, "Can you tell me about Jedi stuff, we don't really get told much.." Wrecker admitted.

"I don't mind, anything particular you want to ask about the Jedi order?" I scanned his face and only now noticed the spider web of scars and his silvery eye.

He hummed and leaned back, thinking most likely, "What colour is your lazer Thingamagig?"

"Lightsaber" Tech corrected from his spot on the other side of the table.

"My lightsaber? Oh..." I paused but nodded, "It's purple, you wanna see?"

"Is that even a question?" Wrecker enthusiastically leaned forward, I smiled and pushed his head back lightly before I pulled the hilt off the belt where it rested.

It fit in my hand perfectly and rolled across it until I grabbed it and ignited it, away from Wrecker obviously, and the purple hue lit up the dimly lit room.

The lightsaber had a lower hum compared to your usual saber, It had Wrecker entranced. "Rule number one, we don't touch the glowing part unless we don't want a hand anymore."

Wrecker nodded, "Can I hold it?"

"Do be careful..." I told him and deactivated the saber, placing it in his palm gingerly. He made a 'wooahh' noise and smiled.

I grabbed his hand and moved it away from himself, "You can turn it on now if you'd like"

He grinned and put his thumb on the ignition switch and I let go of his hands and gave him a thumbs up.

I noticed Tech watching us while he fiddled with something. The purple hue and the low hum of my lightsaber started up again and Wrecker waved it around like a kid with a stick.

"Oh! Oh! Show me some of you moves" Wrecker carefully handed it back to me and watched eagerly.

"Alright calm down, have you never seen a lightsaber?" I joked,

"Never held one, that was cool"

I smiled at him and got in my stance, I held the lightsaber in front of me. I twirled the Saber in my hand then started to go into some flourishes, Before I stopped again when my Saber was to the front and pointed forward.

Wrecker made a range of noises and grinned from eye to eye, "I haven't seen those moves before.. where'd you learn that?" Tech asked curiously.

I turned my lightsaber off and put the hilt on my belt again before I answered, "I was trained well before the Clone wars and I got kicked from the order not too long after it started.. I met another jedi and he finished my training, he was old though so his forms were old but still effective, I've noticed."

Tech hummed and nodded, "That explains the lack of Jedi robes you currently have."

"I just met you. Are you trying to make me lack my clothes all together?Tsk tsk tech, how scandalous of you." I told him, shaking my head.

He exploded into a stuttering mess, and I could see the blush creeping up even while he was furiously trying to explain himself. "Ahh I'm just kidding" I waved my hand at him once he finished and he gave me this look of down right betrayal while Me and Wrecker laughed it off.

-A fEw DaYs LaTEr-

I deflected bolts coming left, right and centre. It was overwhelming... Where is the hell are those asshats?

A loud grenade went off then a few more followed making the same sound. I swore I heard Wrecker laugh his evil your-being-blown-up-now laugh. I continued to deflect bolts because these stupid mindless droids didn't bother to check their flank

I had managed to get around 20 or so droids down by the time I heard blaster fire, the casual bicker in between my favourite squad, more explosions (+Wrecker) and Crosshair started to pepper bolts down, covering me and the boys.

I jumped down from where I had been surrounded by. Then started to make my way through the droids, chopping up any that got in my way and continued to deflect bolts that had come close to shooting me.

I backed up and away from the droids trying to form a plan. My back touched something behind me so I whipped around, it was just Tech. He and I breathed out a collective sigh then we turned back around, covering each others back.

"What did you guys screw up now?"

"Oh nothing too grand, only missed the shot on the tactical droid so its currently really wants us gone"

"Fun times"

[chrysocomae]

Sao and Inge take the car out in Hsipaw.

[just-dreaming-marvel]

Stupid Decision

 MAIN MASTERLIST

Steve Rogers x Reader

Word Count: 2,950ish

Summary: Steve makes a stupid decision regarding your relationship. (Angst/Fluff)

Notes: This is my entry for @sylvie-writes​ writing challenge. I didn’t bold the prompts but I used 23, 30, 32, 36, 44, and 52.

“I can’t do this anymore.”

The five words no one ever longed to hear when they were in love. Especially when you were in love with none other than, Captain America. You knew something had been off before he left for the mission a week ago. And now, he had gotten back and went straight to your room. You tried to welcome him back with open arms, only for him to say.

“I can’t do this anymore.”

Your heart broke instantly. “Wh-what? Why?” Your voice was small, which made Steve almost wince.

“I just… I can’t.” He turned to leave but you quickly stopped him.

“No! You don’t get to just say you can’t do this anymore and walk away. I am owed an explanation.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I just can’t any more. It’s not you, it’s—“

“Bullshit! Just tell me.”

“I have another mission, Y/N. I just came to tell you it was over. I have to go.” 

He opened the door, walked out and quickly closed it. You were so shocked that you couldn’t move to chase after him. It wasn’t worth it anyway if he was done. There was no point in fighting it. You began crying into your hands, slowly lowering yourself onto your knees. Unbeknownst to you, Steve was still outside the door. He was leaning against it, head up and hand still on the door knob. He was looking at the ceiling, wishing for his tears to disappear as he listened to your cries.

The mission had been rough, as many were. But this time they had clear information on you. Your patterns, your likes and dislikes, everything down to your elementary school grades. They threatened him with your life and he could not risk it. It was killing him the whole way home that he had purposefully put together another mission to get back out there as soon as possible. But right now, Steve couldn’t get himself to move. You were inside your room, heart broken, and all he wanted to do was fix it. But he couldn’t. Not until the threat was completely gone.

~~~

Tony, Natasha, and Clint were all in the kitchen, fixing themselves breakfast, when Tony suddenly stopped what he was doing.

“What is it, Stark?” Natasha wondered.

“Shit’s about to hit the fan,” Tony answered, squinting his eyes and looking around. “I can feel it.”

Clint laughed. “You can feel it?” Clint repeated. “Since when?”

“Since ever. Trust me on this one. Something’s off about today.”

You slunk into the room. Sleep had eluded you, so you already were struggling to look decent. But it was also clear that you had been crying.

“Y/N?” Natasha questioned. “What’s wrong?”

You let out a shaky breath. “Steve broke up with me,” you answered quietly.

“What?!” Clint and Natasha exclaimed.

“See!” Tony shouted. “I told you shit was about to hit the fan!”

“Tony,” Natasha scolded, coming to your side. “Why would he do that?”

You pursed your lips, trying to keep your emotions in check. “He just… he just said that he couldn’t do it anymore. Then he left. Said he had another mission to go on.”

“Another mission?” Tony repeated. “There was no plan for another mission.”

“Well then I don’t know where he is then, Tony!” You yelled, letting it all out. “That’s what he told me, after… after…” You started hyperventilating, unable to fully take in air.

“Y/N, I need you to breathe,” Natasha coaxed, running a hand up and down your back. 

You shook your head, struggling. Nat guided you to a chair and knelt down in front of you. Tears slipped down your cheeks and you failed to take in any full breaths.

“Focus on me, Y/N,” Natasha guided. “Focus on my voice.”

“FRIDAY,” Tony called out to the AI, “I need a location on Rogers.”

“Captain Rogers is currently flying in a quinjet with Sargent Barnes and Mr. Wilson,” FRIDAY responded.

“I need details on their mission sent to me, now.” 

“I don’t…” you choked out. “I don’t… un-under-stand-d… is he… see-ing… someone… else…?”

“Impossible,” Clint replied, shaking his head. “Cap’s head over heals in love with you.”

“Th-then wh-yyy…?”

“I’ve given you all the details I have to Captain Rogers plans, Boss,” FRIDAY stated.

“I’m going to figure this out, kid. I’m going to bring them home and give ‘em hell,” Tony said. “I promise.” He press a kiss to her head before hurrying away.

“Nat…” you cried. “It hurts…”

“I know,” she rubbed her thumb over your knee. “I know… let’s get you back into bed. You need some rest.”

~~~

After Clint and Nat tucked you in, you slept for hours while they tried to figure out what Steve was thinking.

“They’ve somehow cut FRIDAY out of the quinjet,” Tony said, him and the others in his lab. “And they didn’t put in any flights plans before FRIDAY got disconnected.”

“This doesn’t make any sense,” Clint said, looking over everything. “Steve came to me a few weeks ago, asking when I knew Laura was the one. I asked him if he thought Y/N was the one and he said yes. He couldn’t have changed his mind that fast… right?”

“I think I’ve found something,” Natasha said, sitting in front of a computer. “This is the footage from Steve’s suit cam from the last mission.” She pulled screenshots up. “There’s information all about Y/N here. Like, everything. Her whole life story, her day-to-day routines. Everything.”

“He thinks he’s protecting her,” Tony whispered, looking over everything. “He thinks this is his fault and that he has to be the one to fix it.”

“Stupid, idiot men,” Natasha muttered. “Always feeling the need to protect us by doing stupid shit. We need to get him back here before she turns around and does something stupid herself.”

~~~

It was now the middle of the night and you couldn’t sleep. You were craving sugar, hard core, and you knew exactly where to find it. Sneaking out to the kitchen, you found where the cans of frosting were kept. You grabbed a spoon before carefully opening the can and sat up on top of the counter. You closed your eyes and moaned as that first spoonful ran across your tongue. 

“Did I just witness you eat frosting straight from the can?”

You jumped at the sound of Clint’s voice, almost slipping off the counter.

“Shit, Clint! You scared me.”

“Sorry about that.” He waltzed into the kitchen and stood across from you, leaning against the counter. “But seriously, are you eating frosting straight from a can?”

“It’s not a crime, Clint, it’s just my coping mechanism. Deal with it.” You put another spoonful in your mouth. 

“How are you holding up?”

“How do you think? As you’ve pointed out twice now, I’m eating frosting from a can.”

“He’s an idiot.” 

You nodded in agreement, taking another spoonful. “Yeah…” you sighed. “Clint, I don’t know if I can be here when he comes back.”

“What? You can’t seriously be thinking about leaving?”

“I am seriously thinking about it. I’m not even a part of the team nor do I work here at the compound. I moved in to be with Steve and now he doesn’t want to be with me, so I really don’t see a reason to stay. Technically, the room I’m in is his anyway.”

“Y/N, really think about this. Are you sure?”

You took a minute to really think about it. “I’m sure.”

~~~

“Are you going to tell us what’s going on here, punk?” Bucky asked. 

He and Sam had been dragged into the quinjet almost immediately after Steve had gotten home. They knew that something was wrong, but Steve wasn’t talking.

Steve sighed. “I guess it’s time that I told you,” he said. “I broke up with Y/N?”

“You what?!” His friends both shouted.

“Why? It doesn’t make any sense!” Sam continued. “Bucky, wasn’t it just a few weeks ago when Steve told us he was going to marry the girl. And now you’ve gone and broke up with her?! Do you have brain damage?!” Steve simply clenched his jaw, unable to look at them.

“Why did you do it, Steve?” Bucky asked.

“Cause they know everything,” Steve replied, quietly.

“Who knows everything?”

“HYDRA… On the last mission, I found a room dedicated to her. They’re planning on using her against me.”

“They can’t do that,” Sam said, shaking his head. “She’s perfectly safe at the compound.”

“Except she’s not. When I say they know everything, Sam, I mean they know everything. Her habits, her likes and dislikes, every moment we’ve spent together… In order to keep her safe, I needed to break up with her.”

“Was that’s HYDRA’s call or your call?” Bucky asked. Steve didn’t answer. “You idiot.”

“I had to do what was needed. We’re on our way to another base. I can’t be with her until they’re gone.”

“Did you ever think about the effect this would have on her?”

“I did. But I had to do it. She’s safe under Tony’s care right now while I fix this.”

“You didn’t even think this through, did you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Y/N’s not an Avenger. So she had no reason to be living at the compound besides you. It’s only a matter of time before she moves out. And we all know she’s not safe out there.”

“I’m sure the Team can keep her there.”

“Are you sure?” Sam asked. “Do they even know what’s going on?”

“They don’t. But if I know Natasha, she’ll do anything to keep me and her together.” 

“She’s going to kill you for doing this to Y/N.”

Steve winced, imagining what Nat will do to him when she sees him again. “Well, we’re not going back until this mission is complete.”

~~~

Clint watched you through the vents throughout the night. He wanted to see if you were really serious. And you were, you packed up all your belongs before dawn. You had also found a new apartment already. Almost every box was in the moving truck by the time Clint woke up from his spot in the vent. Upon seeing the room with only Steve’s things in it, he rushed to the lab, where Nat and Tony were still trying to get a hold of Steve, Bucky, and Sam.

“Guys! Guys! Guys!” Clint ran in. “We have a problem!”

“What is it, Legolas?” Tony asked. “I’ve almost hacked into the quinjet here.”

“Y/N’s leaving! She’s packed up and almost out of here!”

“What?!” Natasha and Tony shouted.

“We have to stop her! We need to get Steve back here!”

“I’m trying, Barton,” Tony said. “You and Red find a way to slow her down. I think I’ve got a location on them. I’m going to take a suit and go after them.”

~~~

You were walking to your car to go and meet the moving truck at your new place, when suddenly there was a red head in front of you.

“Where do you think you’re going?” She asked, hands on her hips.

“To my new apartment,” you answered. 

“Why? This is your home.”

“No, this is Steve’s home.”

“And now yours.”

“Nat… I really don’t want to do this right now. I just want to get to my new apartment and sleep.”

“You can sleep here.”

“I’m sorry, Nat.” You tried to move around her, only for her to get back in your way. “Seriously, move.”

“Try me.” She narrowed her eyes at you.

“You know I can’t compete with you. Just, Nat… I can’t be here when he gets back… he doesn’t want to be with me anymore. And that’s… well it sucks and, honestly, I may never recover. But I have a better shot at doing so someplace else.”

“Y/N…” Natasha reached for your hand, but you stepped back.

“No.” You shook your head. “If you touch me, I will break. And I don’t want to break in front of people. I have to be strong.”

“Rogers is an idiot.”

You gave her a small, but fake, smile. “I never said he wasn’t. Please, Nat, let me go.”

“Fine,” Natasha sighed. “I’m coming with you to help you unpack.”

~~~

Tony landed on the quinjet, that was still in the air. He was furious at the Captain he knew was below him. Not bothering to open the ramp, he used a laser to cut a hole in the top of the quinjet and jumped through it.

“What the hell, Stark?!” Sam exclaimed. The three men were armed.

“What the hell is right,” Tony said, making his helmet disappear. He pointed at Steve. “I can’t even believe you.”

“Tony, you don’t understand,” Steve said.

“Oh, I think I do. You think you’re protecting her but Y/N is back in New York, heart broken and moving out of the compound.”

“Moving out? She can’t move out, it’s not safe. Why are you letting her do that?”

“I’m not letting her do shit, Rogers. She’s her own person who was basically told that she wasn’t worth it.”

“I never said that. I could never—“

“Doesn’t matter. You gave her no other reason, so she’s immediately feel to that.”

“It’s too dangerous—“

“Our lives our too dangerous, Steve! You don’t see it, but she doesn’t sleep when you’re gone. Always worried sick that you might never return! You think you’re protecting her by doing this, well you’re wrong! You’ve now pushed her out of the safest place she could be!”

“I may regret saying this, but I’m with Stark on this one,” Bucky said. “You’ve been a complete and utter idiot, Steve. Yes, protect her. Go out and destroy all of HYDRA, we’ll help. But break her heart in the process,” Bucky shook his head, “ridiculous. If you told her what was going on, she would have understood. The team could have created a plan to keep her safer, but instead you did the most stupid, cliche thing in the book.”

Steve fell back into the pilot’s seat, running a hand down his face. “I really am an idiot,” he whispered.

“Damn right you are,” Sam agreed. “So what do you say to destroying this HYDRA base we’re heading to and then going back and fixing things with your girl?”

~~~ 

Both Natasha and Clint helped you unpack, though they didn’t make it easy. They kept trying to put things back in the moving van to take back to the compound, but you wouldn’t have it. After having dinner together, you forced them to leave you alone. It was now the early hours of the morning and you were sitting out on the fire escape just outside your new bedroom window. You were lost in thought, staring at the sky.

“You are probably the only person in the world who can look this beautiful at 3 in the morning.”

Steve’s rough, yet timid voice caused you to jump in surprise. You didn’t say anything though, simply stared down at him. He wasn’t too far below you, still in his suit and roughed up from the mission.

“I know I’m probably the last person you want to see,” he began slowly, continuing up the fire escape. “But I had to see you.”

“Why?” You sounded weaker than you wanted to. “You said you couldn’t do it anymore…”

“And I was so incredibly stupid.” He sat on the same level as you, far enough away to give you your space while still being close. “I… the mission got into my head. They… they knew everything about you.”

“Everything?”

“Everything,” he nodded. “They were planning to come after you and use you against me. And I couldn’t… I couldn’t get past it to see another way then ending it with you.”

“Steve,” you moved slightly closer. “You could have just talked to me about it.”

“I know… I wasn’t thinking… And for that I’m so sorry.” He met your eyes. His blues were glistening with tears. “Is there any way to fix this mess I’ve gotten myself into?”

You sighed, turning back to look at the sky. “I.. I… I’m scared… Scared of getting hurt again… But I’m more scared of not being able to love you.”

“Me too… Y/N, I made the stupidest decision I have ever made, by telling you I couldn’t do it anymore. It was me not thinking straight, acting on impulse. I should have talked to you about it all, gotten your opinion… I just love you so much, the thought of losing you was—“

“Too much to bare.” Steve nodded in agreement. “I know, cause I feel that way every time you leave for a mission. There’s always a good chance that you don’t come back, that doesn’t mean that I would ever break up with you.”

“You’re stronger than me… you always have been.”

You rested your hand on his closest to you. “We’re both strong in our own ways, that’s why we work so well together.” You moved closer to him, so your arms were brushing against each other. “I love you, Steve. You just need to promise to talk to me, or this isn’t going to work.”

He cupped your cheek, rubbing his thumb against it. “I don’t deserve you… I love you, so much. I promise to talk more before I make a decision.”

You held up your pinky. “Pinky promise?”

Steve laughed as he brought up his pinky to wrap around yours. “Pinky promise.”

[gotnofucks]

What do you think Lee or other Seb and Chris characters would be like with a tall, slim and very uncurvy woman? Like only a couple of inches shorter than them, and she never feels feminine enough or sexy enough for them?

We'll start this by establishing that every person is pretty regardless of their body type. Tall, short, chubby or skinny, different complexion and smooth or furry.

As a short girl, this is for my tall skinny sisters who have a difficult time loving themselves:

Warning: sometimes dark themes, allusions to smut, possessiveness, body image issues, breeding kink, 18+ ONLY

+++++

Steve Rogers: The Avengers Charity ball was a big event and though Steve hated the public attention, he's excited to do this with you. You've been dating a few months and coming out in public was something Steve was looking forward to.

He had decorated your neck with marks to show the world who you belonged to. The territorial captain was itching to claim you in front of the world when you told him you'd rather not go.

"What?" He asked, "Why not?"

You bit your lip, shifting on your feet as you looked at him.

"It's nothing...just don't feel like it" You mumbled.

"Is it because we're going to fast? You don't wanna tell the world about us?" Steve asked and you frantically shook your head.

"No, Stevie." You took a deep breath. "It's just...you're Captain America. The people expect you to be with a womanly woman, someone who complements you. I am...me. Tall, not large enough boobs, my ass is skinny and -"

You would have went on had Steve not pulled you in by your waist and crushed your mouth to his. You kissed back, running your hand through his soft hair before he pulled back, panting.

"Are you kidding me? You're listing everything I love about you. I don't have to bend down to kiss you, you breasts feel perfect in my hands and that ass? Baby, that ass is so perfect if people knew the thoughts I get when I see it, they'll douse me with holy water. Captain America doesn't need a womanly woman to compliment him. You’re not my arm candy, I am yours because you’re the perfect one. You get me?"

Choked up with tears you nod, letting him tuck your head in his neck.

Bucky Barnes: He's been looking at you for weeks, just the way you've been looking at him. During training, he makes sure to stay behind you, correcting your posture by putting his hands on you.

For someone who'd lived more than a century, Bucky Barnes had no patience anymore and he promptly sat down his ass in front of you, making you stop mid-chew.

"Why haven't you asked me out on a date yet?" He asked you, the red Henley he wore stretching across his broad chest. You swallowed quickly, sputtering.

"Sargent?" You squeaked, unprepared to be accosted like this.

"I want you, you want me. We've practically been eye fucking each other for months. Why haven't you asked me out yet?" He snapped.

You bite your lip before wetting them with your tongue, unsure how to say this.

"You...you don't wanna go out with some other agent? Maybe Shally?" You asked and winced when he scowled at you. "I'm only saying this 'cause she has you know, a better body. She's...prettier?"

In this moment you realised how scared Bucky's enemies may feel on the battlefield because the expression on his face had you terrified. And turned on.

"You fucking with me doll? I don't want her. I love your body. You're almost my height, think of how easy 69-ing would be! You're perfect in every way. The way you kick those men's asses in the gym...fuck I always need a cold shower after that."

Your mouth dropped open and a small smile lit your face.

"So, you don't mind me being strong and lean and not... feminine?" You asked tentatively and Bucky smirked.

"Come into the bedroom with me and I'll show you how feminine you can be" He challenged.

Really, who were you to say no to him.

Ransom Drysdale: Heels. He got you fucking 6-inch heels. You were nearly his height, already being taunted by your friends for this. And he got you heels.

"Ransom, take them back. You know I don't do heels." You say and he scoffs, pushing them back at you.

"Like shit you don't do them. I want to see you in them, and wear that lingerie I got you." He orders and you frown.

"No Ransom, I just - I don't like them." You said and he turned away from his phone to raise an eyebrow at you.

"I've seen you eyeing that flimsy scarp of fabric for weeks in the mall. You like it, now wear it for me so I can admire it on you." He said.

You finger the delicate material of the bra and panty and wondered how amazing it would feel against your skin. But then you looked at the small size and squeezed your eyes shut. There was a reason you insisted Ransom turn off the lights when you fucked.

"I like them. Just...not on me" You whispered. A finger pulled your chin up and you met Ransom's blue eyes, his gorgeous face peering into you like you were the dumbest person he knew.

"The fuck?" He asked, a warning growl in his tone that had you rubbing your legs.

"Ransom...I'm...not made for these. These heels, I'll be taller than you. I don't have the body to make this gorgeous lingerie come to life. You...I don't want you to see me like that." You say, almost tearing up.

Ransom looked livid for a moment before he gently stood you up, shushing your protests as he one by one stripped you naked. You looked down, ashamed of yourself as he forced you into the tall heels, his head now below yours.

"Look at me" He rasped and you obeyed. His eyes went from your head to down, appreciatively over your breasts and flat stomach and then to the vee between your thighs.

"You're perfect." He said, head dipping only a little to suck a nipple in his mouth. "Perfect figure, perfect face, perfect height. You're the only perfect thing I have in my fucked up life."

You put your hands on his shoulder to stable your wobbling feet, and he held you close.

"Wear this lingerie. I want to tear it off your body with my teeth. And the lights stay on today."

Lee Bodecker: You pushed down on your skirt again, hiding your thin legs the best you could. The demure and pretty girls in the neighborhood snickered as you passed by them, their necklines supporting a beautiful cleavage.

You walked into your home and quickly got to making the dinner. While you didn't look like a normal lady, you were one. You could cook and clean and your daddy hoped that would be enough to get you married and off his hands.

You got dressed for you knew there would be guests tonight and tied your apron around your narrow waist, serving the food on the table for your father and the Sheriff. He came in his uniform, the hat set down on the table and eyes that followed you.

It was no surprise when he cornered you later after your father was drunk and passed out. His hardness dug into you, sweet breath on your face and nose rubbing against yours.

"Where you been all day sweetheart?" He asked, hands groping you like they'd done a thousand times before. You whimpered, tilting your head to allow him access to your neck.

"Shopping for the dinner. Daddy doesn't like stale food." You say and Lee bites you.

"What've I told you about calling him daddy in front of me? I'm the only daddy ya need." He scolded. You waited for his kiss, lips puckered when he stilled. His hands were on your breasts and he paused, reaching inside despite your protests to pull out the rolled up cloth inside.

"What the fuck is this?" He angrily asked and you hid your face in embarrassment. You were tired of having small breasts, tired of not being as pretty as others.

"Just..I wanted more meat on me." You said sullenly and Lee twisted his face in a scowl, pulling you forward with your hair.

"You're not doing this shit again. You want big fucking breasts then ask me to put a baby in you and I will. You want more meat on your body then I'll fuck a child in you right now. You get me?" He snarled and you nodded, clinging to him.

"I...I am sorry. I wanted to be pretty for you." You sob and Lee pulls you closer, taking your hands and pressing them in his belly.

"Sweetheart, you are fuckin' gorgeous. My pretty girl. Daddy's best girl. You don't need more meat. I already got enough for both of us. Kay?" He asked and kissed you deep.

Andy Barber: You hid your insecurities well. Andy didn't give you a reason to have many. He loved you, you knew that. But sometimes, you wondered if he'd have preferred a more bountiful booty to hold at night.

When you tried to eat a little extra than your stomach permitted and puked the next day, he sat you down and asked point blank what was wrong. It was difficult to lie to him, not only because he was a great lawyer but because Andy knew you too well to not know when you're hiding something.

"I wanted to gain some weight I suppose." You said. Andy titled his head, eyes going over your body before he frowned.

"But you're perfect" He said, as if confused. "You can't overeat baby. Talk to me, what's wrong?"

You bit your lip. Dating Andy was daunting. He was someone who had lines of woman waiting to warm his bed. You were surprised when he asked you out, you of all the other softer women. You, your flat figure of the other hourglass ones.

He was an alpha, he was the master. He would have looked so good next to a timid, tiny girl who would easily fold into his body for warmth. And yet, here he was with you.

"I have long legs" You blurted and didn't look at him. "I am taller than almost all women here, I don't have a plump ass you can bounce quarters off and definitely not a chest that is spilling out. I don't know Andy, I...I am not enough I guess."

You wanted to cry after admitting this and maybe you would have had Andy not knelt before you and cupped your face to kiss you deeply.

"Oh honey, you silly thing. You're more than enough. Absolutely stunning." He whispered. He trailed his hands up from your ankle to your thighs and you stifled a moan.

"Your legs are long, and I love them. So much length to run my tongue on" He continued. "You ass may not bounce quarters, but it bounces my balls well when I'm fucking your from behind. And your breasts better not be spilling anywhere, they are mine. The only thing they need to spill is either my seed or the milk that'll be in there after I breed you. You understand?"

Heat rose up from your chest to your neck and ears, eyes watering with love and desire. You put your long legs on Andy's shoulder and hugged him with your thighs, asking him softly to show you his praises again.

[taccamerroa-the-error]

Grreetingsss.

Name... Motherr call me Taccamerroa.

Am hungrree.

Big vehiclesss crasssh herre often.

They come with tasssty foodsss. Tasssty foodsss and tasssty people.

I hear them ssscrream. It not nice. Morre hungree than sssad tho.

Motherr look no tasssty. Motherr ssshoot Tacca.

Look... New tassstesss!

{Sgt. Ve' Troa. Log-date [CORRUPTED]. I'm NOT going back out there. I can't survive in that environment for more than an hour, the armour is already wearing thin.

It's not the acid snow, that [CENSORED] doesn't really sting enough, it's not the low temps, the equipment can handle that.

It's not even the wildlife! The weird land-squid things that look like Gwentipedes on drugs or the things that look like those "bears" from the stories about Earth.

It's something else.

We found a cryo-pod out there, burnt and buried by acid-snow.

We should NEVER have opened it.

Fact.

I dunno if anyone's reading this, but I'm currently hiding in the transport, praying to every faith I can think of to save my sorry behind.

That thing KNOWS our gear, not like any Predator, more like a hostile sentient. Thing is, if that thing were sentient, we'd have been able to reason with it.

It waited. Waited until its target was reloading. It knew what a grenade was. Knew to throw it back.

Look, if you're on the world I'm on right now. Go. Just [CENSORED]ing go and send word that the 4th Squad of the Humano-Imperial Legion fell. Not to Daleks. Not to Cybermen.

But to a [CORRUPTED]mare.

I must face my fate.

Sargent Beffer Ve'Troa...

<Transcript: Roaring and the sound of a gun being loaded>

Out.}

[csykora]

Ooh, ooh. Please tell me all about TJ and how he turned the Caps into a buttsmack-loving, hansy, "babe"-ing team.

Ah, you are asking the NHL’s eternal question:

“Wait, why did the big men just highstick each other in the nuts?”

Ball torture is a big part of a game that’s supposedly played with a puck. 

We can thank the tireless work of the league’s spanking expert, Timothy Lief Oshie (Keeway Gaaboo in Anishinaabemowin, or “TJ”, after a character in 1979’s The Champ, a sports movie that the New York Times once described as “unholy” and “these movies don't mean to deal with the world as it really is, but as it should be, a place where there's no pile-up of emotional garbage too big that it can't be washed clean by a good cry. My problem with 'The Champ' is that I didn't cry. The garbage accumulated."

Clips of the character TJ crying have been found to be “one of the most depressing movies” you can show somebody, and are used in psychological studies. His mom thought Oshie looked like child actor Ricky Schroder, though.)

He is best known as Osh-Babe, like a Pokemon, for the sound he makes.

TJ was born in Everett, Washington, but moved to his father’s hometown of Warroad, Minnesota when he was fifteen to train with his father (Coach Osh) and cousin (Olympian and Red Wings star Henry Boucha).

I have a duty to show hockey tumblr pictures of Coach Henry and Coach Henry’s mustache every year.

He is also cousins with Gary Sargent of the Minnesota North Stars and great-nephew of local legend Max Oshie, because Warroad is a town of 1,700 people who are all cousins and also all Olympians.

For new hockey fans: Warroad is called “Hockeytown USA” because the US men’s team has never won gold without a player from Warroad on the roster. The reason for this is that the town has three rinks (two indoor, one outdoor) and ice time is free. Apparently the only barrier is that sometimes people forget who has the town key to the rink and they have to jimmy the door. 

Little TJ went from having to drive across the Washington/Canada border and paying $20 dollars per hour to skating every day of the year. The first thing Coach Henry did when TJ arrived was make him scrimmage against his local star player. They got so frustrated at not being able to beat each other that they sat down on the ice and burst into tears. The other player is now US Olympic, Boston Pride, and PWHPA star Gigi Marvin.  

Anyway, TJ played college hockey, then for the Blues and for Team USA in the 2014 Sochi Olympics, where he became famous for being a statistical freak and loving his teammates very, very much.

Here he is haring off the ice and all the way down the hall to crush Vladimir Tarasenko after his first career hat trick. After crushing Tarasenko’s Team Russia in 2014, TJ stopped to comfort him.

I don’t have video of TJ’s involvement with Vladimir’s butt, but there were at least a few proto-smacks.

Anyway, that summer TJ was traded away to the Washington Capitals, and the spankings started.

Several people deserve credit for the Washington Capital’s complete lack of personal space before TJ arrived. The first, of course, are Alexander Ovechkin and Alexander Semin, who shared everything from their name through their bubblegum, clothes, and chairs.

The next is Nate Schmidt, who at the time was d-partnered with John Carlson. John Carlson once hugged Nate Schmidt so hard it felt “like getting hit by a linebacker” and “I really felt I was going to eat popcorn with the people in the third row….It was awesome.” Nate Schmidt decided to express his love by composing a Carly Dance, which he would perform for Carlson before every game.

Then backup goaltender Philipp Grubauer told Schmidt he worried Nate was making the Caps’ other senior defenseman, Matt Niskanen, feel less cherished. Together they created a Matty Duet, which they performed at Niskanen while, I assume, the rest of the team had to hold him down.

There was also Tom Wilson, who also hits people very hard. After his first season Alexander Ovechkin was so impressed with Wilson that he nicknamed him “Destroyer”. Tom Wilson I guess blushed and said “No, you!” because started calling Ovechkin “Destroyer” right back. It’s since been shortened to “D”, so if you’re listening to pregame or bench chatter and hear someone yelling that it means either of them.

Since his arrival, TJ has adopted and escalated Schmidt’s pregame dances into elaborate dance-handshakes.

First, and this isn’t directly relevant but it kind of is, TJ is a really big fan of electrotherapy and brought it with him from St. Louis. So before games he and John Carlson like to go into a dark training room and stick electrodes on each other. TJ especially likes putting them on his face. 

(via the Washington Post)

(He uses an Accelerated Recovery Performance machine, or ARP, which is just a TENS unit you can get at CVS. I quite like TENS for pain and it can be very relaxing, so I think it does help him in that sense, but the company selling it as ARP for training purposes is some vintage 19th century snake oil. At one point TJ also stuck electrodes on long-suffering family dog Jay Beagle, who was gracious to his face but concluded, “I just don’t know if it actually works. I don’t like doing things that don’t help, you know what I mean?”)

Emerging from his electric dungeon, TJ has a unique dance-handshake with every member of the team. Each one is based on a joke or something he’s noticed about them, and they are expected to perform it with him in order before every game.

After that, they break out into secondary traditions as TJ supervises: Wilson and Ovechkin bodyslam and scream “D!” onto each other’s faces, during the playoffs John and Ovi square up and hit each other in the jock a ritual number of times, and so on.

...in retrospect maybe I should have pinned John Carlson for more of this, or at least that the Washington Capitals like it when John Carlson humiliates them physically. John Carlson now thinks he can demand his D-partners dance for him, much to Kempny’s confusion.

Anyway then they go out to the ice, where Kempny gamely tows TJ into position for Tom Wilson to whale on his ass and/or balls with his stick. The force and placement of blows vary depending how they’re feeling tonight. TJ returns the favor until they fall to the ice in fake or sometimes maybe not so fake agony. 

When TJ recovers enough he’ll sneak over and steal a spank of the plushest and most precious hockey butt of all: goalie butt.

According to Lars Eller, “it’s little things we have fun with. We don’t do it for anybody else, but for us as a group…just a good way for us to start practice off with a laugh and smile.”