#influencer!nancy
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Steve has done interviews before. Like, a lot of interviews. YouTube, podcasts, print, TV stuff. Not as a brag, or anything, just. He's been an influencer for a long time, for better or worse, and it's part of the deal.
Usually, he's comfortable in front of the camera. Usually, he's poised and well-spoken. But today, this time, sweat pools under his arms and beads along his hairline, the lights beating down on him in a harsh glare.
"Steve Harrington," Murray Bauman crosses his legs, smiles big for the cameras. "It's been a while."
He smiles too, tries to seem like he's not about to have a panic attack. "I've been a little busy."
Murray laughs and it's then that Steve understands how screwed he really is. Murray's show, it's all glitz and glamour on the surface; mixed drinks and hijinks until the celebrity guests lose their inhibitions, admitting things they probably wanted to keep secret.
It's just that, before, Steve didn't have any salacious rumors to worry about, and now--
"You've had a rough year, Steve, yeah?"
"Not my best, for sure." He leans back, tries to seem calm, unbothered.
"I was sorry to hear about your divorce. I think that announcement really took a lot of people by surprise."
His hands clench, but he manages not to shift or bounce his leg. "Thanks for, uh. Yeah. We were also sorry it didn't work out."
Murray nods, face full of sympathy. "You and Nancy, you'd been together since high school? That's almost--what? 15 years?"
"It's--" he clears his throat. "About that long." Steve takes a sip of the drink next to him, an apple martini that's both too sweet and too strong.
"Am I right to assume that you didn't see it coming?"
And isn't that a question? Sure, now in hindsight, he can see the fractures that lead to the end, but six months ago did he--it's all so--what if all along--
"All marriages have rough patches," is what he says. "We just couldn't come out of ours as a couple."
"Do you know what I've found really remarkable about this phase of your life? The content and tone of your videos in the midst of the maelstrom of rumors and gossip didn't change at all. 'Your kids' as you call them, are still as bright and vibrant as ever. You're laughing, dancing, cooking, having a great time."
"I needed that--that normalcy you know? And the kids, they're such an important part of my life, having them around helped."
"Including Nancy's brother, Mike?"
Steve laughs and it's not fake. "Totally including Mike. My relationship with Nancy has nothing to do with my relationship with him."
"He's kind of an antagonist--would you say?--in your videos, though."
"We have conflict sometimes, but it's never serious. We know how to play it up for laughs."
"So, nothing's changed between you?"
"Not at all."
"The cheating rumors." Murray's smile is soft, but all the air still leaves the room.
"What about them?" It's more combative than he means, but--
"Did Nancy cheat on you with Jonathan Byers?"
He swallows and it hurts. She did cheat, is the thing. It's not public information, still only speculation, but--
"You can't believe everything you read, Murray."
"So, she didn't cheat?" There's a glow to Murray's eyes that tells Steve he already knows the answer.
"Like, I said before, marriages are hard. We spent a lot of time apart because of our jobs. It took a toll."
"And she was traveling with Jonathan, yes? He's been her photographer for the past decade, from what I understand."
"They were co-workers, but we're all close. And those rumors didn't help our relationship, for sure. It's--not easy to hear that a bunch of people think your wife and close friend may be having an affair, that people 'ship' them. Even when it's not true, it creates--"
"Tension? Distrust?"
"Both, probably." He takes another drink as he nods. "After a while you do start to wonder if there's truth to it, and you're too ignorant or too--too trusting to see it."
"And it eroded the relationship."
"It certainly didn't help." He takes another drink.
"And how about your relationship with Jonathan's brother, Will. Has that been impacted?"
"Of course not. Never. Whatever happens between Nancy, Jonathan, and I, it has nothing to do with the kids. They know that.
"You talked about it."
"Yes. Extensively."
"I know there's often speculation on the relationship you have with them; if you're really close or it's all for the cameras."
"Murray." He leans forward. "We've talked about this before. I met Dustin through Mike, and the whole group followed. I've known them all since they were 8 years old. They're--I mean, not to be cliche, but they're my family." He sips the last bit of martini.
"And where does Eddie Munson fit into that family?"
The question shouldn't be a surprise, but he almost does a spit take, has to fight to keep it together.
"Eddie?"
"Yes." Murray's smile is chilling. "Your close friend Eddie Munson. Musician. Plays Dungeons and Dragons on YouTube. You made out with him in a music video. Ringing any bells?"
"I'm familiar with Eddie," his grin is rigid. "I don't know what that has to do with my marriage ending."
"Well, the rumors weren't all about Nancy, were they?"
"Eddie and I have--we became mutuals online years and years ago. I used one of his songs in a video and the kids are obsessed with his dnd stuff, so. We've become close."
"Friends?"
"Isn't that implied?"
"After that music video, I don't think so."
Steve rolls his eyes, lets the irritation show for the first time. "He asked me to be in his video. There's nothing scandalous about it."
"What's your relationship with Eddie right now?"
"Like I said, friends."
"Do you want it to be more than that?"
"Eddie's really important to me."
"Is that all?"
"Not really sure what you want me to say here, Murray."
"You were married to a woman for years, but now there are questions about your sexuality."
He grits his teeth. "My sexuality isn't anyone's business aside my own. People can say shit on Twitter all they want, that doesn't mean they know me. But--the end of my marriage--it definitely gave me the space for self-discovery, I guess? In a way I hadn't had before."
"And is Eddie a part of that self-discovery?"
"Yeah, as one of my closest friends, he is."
"Do you have feelings for him?"
"That's--that's not--I'm going through a divorce. My focus isn't on starting another relationship right now."
"You, famously, tattooed your initials on the inside of his thigh during an Instagram live. That's pretty intimate."
"We were just having a little fun."
"Huh. That seems like more than 'a little fun' to me. So, how's Eddie doing with the increased attention?"
It takes Steve a second to track the change of subject, mind still stuck on the tattoo, on how the ink had looked on Eddie's pale skin.
"It's hard." Steve eventually answers. "Of course he enjoys bringing his music and dnd to a wider audience, but the focus on his personal life is--it's a lot."
"Well, he should have thought about before letting you tattoo him for your 850,000 followers. Does he want a relationship with you?"
His throat is dry, burning, he wishes he had more martini. He wishes he'd never taken a sip. "You'd have to ask him. I'm just taking it day by day, you know? That's what I need right now."
"We're getting to the end of our time, but you know I have to ask. Your best friend, Robin Buckley, she very famously unfollowed both Nancy and Jonathan on all social media when news broke about your divorce. Can you tell us why she unfollowed them?"
"I have no control over Robin's accounts. I didn't even know she followed Jonathan ever, and she and Nancy have a relationship outside of me, you know? I can't say what happened between them."
"She's been in your videos with Eddie. She like him?"
"Very much. It's kind of annoying actually. They keep ganging up on me."
"Much to everyone's delight, I'm sure. So, what can we expect from the newly single Steve Harrington?"
"There are a couple things in the works, but only time will tell."
---
He walks through his front door an hour later, and Eddie's sitting on the couch, playing a soft melody on an acoustic guitar. He stops when he sees Steve, setting the guitar aside, and standing.
"How'd it go, baby?" He asks. His soft smile is so beautiful, Steve gets a lump in his throat.
"As expected." He crosses the space between them, lets Eddie pull him close.
"He ask about us?" Eddie's breath tickles his ear.
"Of course."
"And you--"
"I want--it should be just for us. We should be able to announce when we're ready. Not when Murray-fucking-Bauman asks."
Eddie kisses him, then, sweet and slow, making him lose his breath.
"Whenever you're ready, I'll be right by your side."
"You sure? All my mess--"
"Is mine too. Afraid you're stuck with me for the long haul, Steve Harrington."
#steddie#steve x eddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#ficlet#fluff#angst#secret relationship#influencer steve harrington#musician eddie munson#referenced cheating but it's jonathan and nancy#celebrity interview#this is another ficlet inspired by something that happened on real housewives#iykyk#yes murray is andy cohen#and yes this is a stand-in for wwhl#what if steve is a momtok influencer though#this might be part of a longer thing soon!
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pokemon influencer meetup!
#pokemon#iono#raihan#curtis#yancy#raihan pokemon#pkmn#my art#nancy pokemon#christoph pokemon#do people even remember curtis and yancy anymore in 2024 😭😂🙏#they were the ogs#since im in a pokemon mood might as well go all in and draw the childhood faves!#younger me would go insane over this fanart 😭#so in a way i like to think iono as the baby of this lil group so they pass the torch onto her? :]#new styles of idol work/influencing and all...#curt and yance being the 'traditional' yet modern style of TV idol#raihan as the hit instagram influencer 😭🙏#and iono as the streamer. self explanatory#whee ok thats all just wanted to draw some silly pkmn characters didnt really think this hard about it while i was drawing lol#its just fun to ramble in tags for some reason. heh ok bye#✌️
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Part Five Part Two / Part Six YOU ARE HERE. / Part Seven
A03
"No come back here and hug me dammit!"
"I told you it'd be funny." Gareth stage whispered to Steve the following Monday, as Eddie proceeded to cause his usual amount of chaos in the lunchroom.
Tiff just shook her head.
"Come on, just do it and then tell everyone I'm better!" Eddie shrieked again, loud enough to be heard across the school. Possibly into the parking lot, given the winces and glares their peers tossed Eddie's way.
Jeff had his own head in his hands having been Eddie's prior cuddle victim and still suffering the consequences from it.
"I hate you." He groaned, and every single person knew he was talking to Gareth. "I cannot believe you told him his stupid hugs didn't even compare to Steve's. He almost broke my back this morning!"
Which wasn't an understatement--Gareth himself had dodged his best friend's aggressive hugs only by bolting to his first class, then acting like a ninja as he snuck about all day.
He'd even dropped to the floor and army-crawled at one point.
Now he stayed close to Steve, blatantly using the jock as a meat shield.
"Anyone have any ideas on how we can get him to chill out?" Stewart asked, from where he'd taken refuge under the lunch table.
Their second eldest member put up with many things, but drew the line at bodily injury by overly affectionate metalhead.
"Same as always." Jeff grumbled, making sure Gareth saw his glare. "We wait him out."
"Tiff!" Eddie whined, whirling around, hands reaching out for her.
"You touch me Munson and I'll burn the trigonometry notes I promised you." Tiffany threatened without looking up from her book.
"Fine." Eddie wheeled right back around. "Graaaaant-!"
"This could take days!" Stewart complained, acting like a man caged. "I can't wait much longer!"
'Dramatic, the whole lot of them.' Gareth thought fondly, knowing he was just as bad.
"Okay. Seriously, how are we fixing this?" Jeff said sourly, as Grant once again picked Eddie up by his jacket and bodily threw him as far away as he could.
Like an eldritch being from a B horror movie, Eddie simply bounced back up and came for him again.
"His issue is that he thinks I'm the better cuddler, right? Nothing else?" Steve said thoughtfully.
"Yes." Groaned the other four in unison, as Grant laid a hand on Eddie's forehead, the latter pinwheeling his arms like a cartoon character.
Steve nodded once, before his face morphed into something devastatingly smug. "Yeah we're screwed."
Jeff switched targets from Gareth to glare at Steve instead. "Really Harrington?"
"I'm back to Harrington now? Jeff, man, you wound me." Steve faked a gasp, putting a hand over his heart.
It made Gareth grin, if only because Steve wouldn't have done that a month ago. "God I love when you're a bitch."
Steve looked over at him and winked.
"Just for that, we should make you cuddle with him." Stewart grumbled. "Tell him he can decide for himself who's better!"
Which of course killed the playful look on Steve's face.
Two pairs of shoes proceeded to kick at Stewart (who dodged Jeff's only to be nailed by Tiffany's far more tactical aim.)
Except when Gareth though about it, it actually wasn't a half-bad idea.
If one pitched it right.
"You know," Gareth said slowly, a plan forming. It was half-baked, but it'd work. "--you could end this pretty easily if you did. You have the power."
"Are we being serious right now?" Jeff grumped. "This does not feel like we're being serious."
Gareth ignore him.
"You up for one last cuddle, Sir Carrington?" He asked, playfully.
He got a flat look in return. "You've got to be kidding me. You're seriously suggesting the solution here is for me and Eddie to cuddle."
"I am indeed." Gareth said with a grin. "So long as it's an absolutely terrible cuddle."
That got an interesting reaction.
"Good luck, I'm an amazing cuddler." Steve huffed, offended--and it looked like he actually believed it.
A curiosity, considering even with everyone announcing themselves before touching him he still got jumpy.
"Then pretend." Gareth wheedled. "You don't even have to do it for that long. Sneeze in his ear and he'll be done for."
He got a few grossed out looks for that, but it was worth it all to see Steve growing more comfortable with the idea.
"If I were to do anything of the sort I wouldn't sneeze in his ear." The jock retorted, but he looked contemplative.
"I'm sure you could come up with something else. " Gareth suggested, and gave his best, award winning smile as he said it. "You're creative when cornered."
No ulterior motives here, no sir!
"I know what you're doing, Gareth." Steve said, calling him out immediately. "But I might be convinced to take a hit for the team--for a price. My reputation would be on the line."
"What do you want?" Stewart asked immediately, more than a little desperate as Eddie carried on in the background.
"Well..." Steve trailed off, slowly meeting each and every one of them in the eye. "what are you offering?"
"You know what?" Jeff said, putting his head back in his hands. " Just for that, you and Gareth both are on my shit list."
"I'll bake you those marble brownies you wanted and get right back off it." Steve said, the smug air only growing as Jeff sighed loudly.
"Name your price, Harrington." Stewart said, talking over Jeff's second, overly dramatic sigh. "You want some D&D treasure, or an item for your character? You got it. You want a fucking," He paused, eyes scrunching up in thought. "--new basketball? Or whatever sport ball you're into right now?"
"Not even close." Steve told him.
Jeff sighed a third time, loud and obnoxious.
"Why does this always fall down to me?" Tiff asked the ceiling, as though God himself might respond back with the answer. She tilted her head back down, aiming to make eye contact with Steve. "You're in Rucker's class right? I'll write your poly-sci paper. Highest grade I will guarantee is a B, and that is because it would be suspicious if you looked like you suddenly had strong, A-grade opinions on current, geopolitical policies."
Steve snapped and pointed towards her. "Sold!" He called, mimicking an auctioneer.
Smooth as butter, he turned towards Hurricane Eddie. "Hey Munson!"
In two seconds the jock had summoned that cocky persona of his, wearing a smarmy smile like a cloak. It was getting easier and easier to tell which "bitchy Steve" was the real one and which one was a total front.
(Tiffany had decided the man was a mean girl at his core and honestly, the label stuck.
But Mean Girl Steve was a hell of a lot different than King Steve--or any of the other overly confident swaggering personas Steve adopted like a second skin.)
For for all the preparation he'd had, was still rigid most of the time Gareth had occupied his lap, only relaxing when the younger boy had gotten Eddie so wound up their eldest friend couldn't form coherent sentences.
Now, as Steve strode over and issued the challenge of a cuddle off during the next Hellfire game, he was already less stiff.
Eddie had that effect on people. Particularly ones who had crushes on him.
"This is the stupidest thing I've ever been involved in." Tiffany complained.
"Is it Tiff? Is it really?" Jeff challenged as he finally sat up.
"She's definitely forgetting the purple griffin incident." Grant said, completely ignoring what was going down on the other end of the table as he took advantage of Eddie being distracted to make his escape.
"Fine." Tiff conceded before anyone could list anything else off, "But it's at least in the top five."
"This Friday, Harrington." Eddie announced loudly then, fire in his eyes and a finger in Steve's face. "Me and you. It is on."
"Hope you're ready to lose." Steve taunted.
It was hilarious as it was ridiculous.
Which meant of course, that dumb shit had to get in the way of it.
xXx
Steve backslid the next morning.
Worse, he kept backsliding, growing worse throughout the week until the person left looked a whole lot like the guy they’d dragged to their table all those months ago.
He sat silently next to Eddie during lunch, only speaking if asked a direct question, all banter and playful bitchiness gone.
He avoided Hellfire’s members in the hallway, Stewart reporting he had been uncharacteristically silent during their one shared class.
Most damning?
He’d flinched when Eddie had done their dumb little “shoulder bumping” routine.
Which officially meant that ghost Steve was back.
(“I didn’t realize how Steve was our little ray of sunshine and positivity until he stopped being it.” Tiff complained, idly spinning a pencil in the library. “Worse, I didn’t think I’d miss it.”
Gareth, who definitely wasn’t skipping again, agreed wholeheartedly.)
Not even Eddie's antics got a smile out of Steve. He really tried too, to the point where Gareth was starting to worry his best friend was going to do something dramatic just to get a little chuckle.
Steve at least, picked up on the fact he was freaking out all of Hellfire when Grant started to get blunt with his questions.
A part of Gareth (the part that appreciated Grant’s bluntness, instead of the rest of him, that wanted to duck and cover in case it made things worse) was curious if this would finally get Steve to open up; but instead it just made things worse.
Within two direct “No really dude, what's wrong?” ’s, Steve retired the haunted act and instead brought the downright freaky return of one Hawkins' jock's doing a real good job at pretending he was okay.
Pity for him this wasn't Tommy H or the rest of the public Steve was trying to fool.
This was a group of people who tended to be hyper aware of things, ranging from their surroundings to their people. (And then went on to play, as Steve regularly teased them, “one giant math game about it.”)
Not a single one of them was fooled by the act, or the evasive answers Steve pulled out of his ass when the rest of them all, individually, in their own way, tried to figure out if their newest member was okay or just having a few bad days.
"He told me he wasn't feeling good." Jeff said, worrying his lip with his teeth when they all finally convened together after school to discuss it.
"Are we choosing to buy that?" Tiffany asked, one eyebrow raised in a challenge. "He's been off since Tuesday. It's Thursday."
Grant huffed an agreement, arms crossed over his chest.
"Devils advocate, people are typically sick for more than one day." Stewart pointed out. "Dudes probably got allergies or something, it is the end of May."
"It's not allergies." Gareth said flatly.
Allergies usually came with symptoms like coughing and sneezing.
They did not come with vacant stares and falling over one's feet when their friends said hello in the hallway.
"Well clearly he doesn't want to talk about it so maybe he'll just…work himself out of whatever it is." Jeff reasoned. "I don't know if we should really push him about it."
"And miss out on another week's worth of baking?" Stewart bemoaned, as if Steve's lack of treats was the sole reason they were concerned.
Tiff swiped at him with her paperback.
Interestingly, Eddie had yet to say much on the matter. Everyone knew he was just as worried. The guy was a secret teddy bear, and they all still knew to warn him if a dog so much as got hurt in a movie. Worse, Steve was one of his "sheepies" as he so lovingly called them all, and was notoriously defensive of Hellfire as a whole.
Gareth had been eyeing him throughout their little gathering, watching as his best friend tapped his foot anxiously.
The guy seemed lost in his own head and while it wasn't completely unusual, it too, was odd behavior.
Gareth squinted at him, making eye contact and asking if he was alright with the kind of subtle facial expressions only best friends could pull.
Eddie didn't respond, but instead, looked away.
'That's a no.' Gareth thought, as the conversation around them wound down, without anyone coming up with any solid plans on what they were going to do about the Steve situation.
This is exactly how he ended up following Eddie home.
"Inviting ourselves over I see." The elder teen muttered out of the corner of his mouth as Gareth chased him to his van, hopping into the passenger seat instead of heading for his bicycle.
"It's a good night for a smoke sess." Gareth responded casually.
"You hate smoking weed." Eddie returned with a snort. "You prefer edibles."
"Just think of what we could do with Harrington's baking skills." Gareth replied wistfully--but made sure to watch his friend.
There it was. The slightest of weird expressions, flitting over Eddie's face like a shadow before he hid it back into whatever cage it escaped from.
"You're worried." Gareth guessed. Not like that was a hard one.
"Aren't we all, Gare-Bear?" Eddie returned, eyes never leaving the road.
He pretended like he couldn't feel Gareth scanning him, taking in the too tense shoulders and the shuttered, guarded look on his face.
"You know something." Gareth guessed after a moment.
The declaration made his best friend flinch, hands squeezing tight on the wheel.
'Got you.'
"Are you going to spill or do I have to blackmail it out of you?"
"Please Gary you have nothing you could blackmail me with." Eddie challenged with a snort. "I am shameless."
A challenge that could not be ignored, if only because Gareth wanted to remind him who had had the upper hand since Steve had crashed into Hellfire.
"Really? So you wouldn't mind if I show Steve those photos of the time we dressed up as a Barbie “ken doll” band for Jeff’s sister’s birthday? You know, the one were you were wearing that pink boa and the star glasses--”
A hand shot out, clapping Gareth over the mouth.
"Thank you, I got it!" Eddie said, voice an octave higher than normal. "Why do you still even have that!?"
"My mom." Gareth managed to get out, even if it was horribly muffled between Eddie's bony fingers.
"Curse that woman's thirst for nostalgia and scrapbooks." Eddie hissed, as if his mom was some grand villain.
"You love her crafts, you ass." Gareth rolled his eyes, wiping his mouth when Eddie finally removed his hand. "Now spill."
"I'm not sure this is what's causing it." The elder cautioned after a pause just long enough to be dramatic. "But rumor has it his parents are home."
"You think they're why he's acting all…" Gareth trailed off, unsure of what to compare Steve to and not wanting to say a kicked dog.
Eddie hummed in agreement. "Every time I walk into Steve's house, the place starts off feeling like a living tomb. There’s got to be a reason for that, and the only one I can think of is that his parents want that. The tomby-ness."
Gareth leaned back in his seat, contemplating. Turned the idea of Steve's mysterious parents over in his head, comparing it to how the guy's house did have a sort of museum quietness to it.
It wasn't that the place was huge, or even that Steve was typically its solo occupant beyond the occasional weekends one or both of his parents "popped in."
It was the perfectness of it.
How on any given day a photographer could show up to take pictures and the place would be camera ready.
A sort of--trophy house.
He went on to tell his best friend this.
"It’s like a shrine to their success." Eddie added an hour later, when they'd resettled onto his couch, trying to break down just what exactly about Steve's house made it so weird.
They'd shared a beer each--some gross kind that a cat couldn't have gotten buzzed off of, and Gareth had just finished helping Eddie select their chosen flower to roll when an awkward sound erupted throughout the trailer.
If Gareth knew any better, he'd say it almost sounded like someone was knocking on the shitty aluminum door.
Couldn't be though, because he'd never in his life heard someone knock--Eddie's uncle Wayne had a key, and every member of Hellfire was aware that the window in Eddie's room had a broken lock.
To get it open you just had to push at it from a specific angle, and with a few tugs it'd come right up for you.
The noise came again, this time a little louder.
Gareth looked to Eddie, and found his friend holding all the weed.
Understanding flashed between them, and Gareth stood up to answer the door as Eddie magically made the drugs disappear.
Thankfully, it wasn't the cops.
"Hey." Steve said, standing awkwardly on Eddie's porch, looking like he desperately wanted inside but wasn't sure he'd be allowed in. "Eddie said I could just come over if I needed to…?"
He trailed off, awkwardly miming smoking with his fingers.
Gareth couldn't hold in the snort.
"You're in luck man, because I just finished rolling a few." He said, stepping back to let their wayward jock in.
"Hey Stevie." Eddie drawled, now in the process of making the weed reappear. "Come in, have a seat, take a puff."
Rather than sit on the admittedly small couch, Steve chose instead to drop his ass to the floor, leaving the open spot above him to Gareth. He waited until the younger was seated before he leaned back, broad shoulders brushing both his friends legs as he relaxed.
Eddie’s hand twitched, as though he wanted to run it through Steve’s hair and thought better of it.
(Knowing him as Gareth did, that was very likely exactly what the weird little movement of his was.)
“You wanna tell us what’s goin’ on?” Eddie said softly, long after all three of them had an inhale of the joint Eddie had lit, sitting in relaxed silence. "Cause you've been pretty down, Stevie."
"Yeah." Steve agreed hollowly. "Sorry."
Eddie nudged his leg with a foot, then offered him the blunt again. "Don't apologize man, we can't all be sunshine and rainbows."
“You’d be surprised at how many people expect an apology for just that.” Steve muttered.
Gareth traded careful looks over Steve’s head, Eddie turning back and resolutely plowing on.
“You don’t have to, but talking tends to make people feel better.”
“Does it?” Steve asked, before taking a slow, measured inhale of the joint.
Idly he added; "Gareth you can't roll for shit."
"Fuck you dude!" The younger teen exclaimed, instantly offended, but knew a redirect when he saw one. "You try rolling them then!" He snatched the joint out of Steve's hands, huffing audibly.
It was an offer. If Steve didn't want to take the opening Eddie had given him, he could instead take the out Gareth had given.
The option reminded him of Alice in Wonderland (Gareth’s actual favorite movie, even if he tells everyone else it's The Empire Strikes Back)
Specifically when Alice was lost, standing before a split path and asking advice from the Cheshire Cat.
Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?" Alice asks.
The Cheshire Cat spins its head, smiling its smile as it answers;“ That depends a good deal on where you want to get to."
Steve proved himself to be a stronger man that Gareth had given him credit for, and took the harder path.
"My parents are home." He said, eyes glued to the TV in front of him, as if that would make the conversation easier.
Perhaps it did.
Eddie to his credit, didn't treat the declaration as anything important. "Yeah? They bring you something nice back from New York?"
"Florida this time and no."
Steve fussed with a thread on his sweater for a moment, a single yellow thread unspooling from the end. It looked like he’d been tugging at it a lot, a small imperfection on an otherwise expensive looking piece of clothing.
"Apparently I've been such a disappointment they're demanding I get a job." He began again. "They want me to learn the realities of hard work."
Gareth traded puzzled glances with Eddie.
Steve had never shied from hard work.
Everyone had heard the story of how he’d won over every coach in Hawkins' High’s favor. It was practically school legend, since he was the first freshmen to take up and finish some bullshit exercise challenge they hosted every year.
The guy even had a herd of some of the most obnoxious children he looked after, without pay.
There was no way the source of whatever was eating at him was a summer job.
Or perhaps, not just a summer job.
"Summer jobs fucking suck, but I hear that new mall’s finally finished.” Gareth said hesitantly. “You could probably get in somewhere there before you head off to college.”
"I'm not going to college. Didn't get into any." Steve said flatly.
Ah-ha.
"I only applied to the one Nancy made me." He added, still refusing to look at either of them. "Couldn't bring myself to apply to any of the others."
Which--odd, but it wasn't the oddest thing ever. Some people just didn't like school, or traditional learning methods.
No matter how much Gareth's counselor insisted otherwise.
"My dad found that out too." Steve said after a moment.
"College isn't the fucking answer to life." Gareth continued. "There's plenty of other things you can do."
Eddie’s head cocked, like a dog who’d been presented with a puzzle.
Steve shrugged. "That's not my issue with it, but the old man thinks it is. He keeps insisting that the free rides are over now." His voice kicked into a deep mockery of his fathers at the end, the condescending tone coming through loud and clear. “Thinks I'm here to screw my girlfriend and party my life away. Wouldn't hear me about not wanting to go to college, at all. Definitely didn't care that I broke up with Nancy." The last part was muttered, almost said more to himself and for himself than it was for them.
Eddie’s head tilted the other way.
"Did you have an idea of what you wanted to do?" Gareth asked. He figured it they knew, they might be at least able to help.
He got a shrug in response.
Gareth was about to open his mouth--probably to put his foot in it, but hell if Steve wanted help brainstorming what he did want to do with his life, or at least get positive support from someone who wasn't a rich asshole, it might as well start here.
Eddie beat him to the punch though, because as usual, Eddie was able to track the weird unspoken thing that no one else could pick up on.
"It's the kids, isn't it?" Eddie asked softly. Reverently. "You don't want to leave Hawkins, because of the kids."
Steve took another sip of beer, waving off the joint Gareth offered him. For someone who'd come to smoke he'd barely touched it or the beer, but then no one here would push.
It was pretty obvious, (to Gareth anyway) that the weed had been a flimsy excuse to begin with.
"When those damn kids started trying to trap the--dogs." Steve started, correcting his slip so smoothly Gareth almost didn't pick up that he'd intended to say something else. “I was the only damn adult they could find.”
Steve gave up fiddling with his sweater to tug angrily at his beer tab, twisting and pulling at it.
"They had figured out where the dogs would be. Had an entire meat bucket they wanted to use as bait and but I was the only damn person to try and at least wrangle the little shits. You wanna know how they found me?" He picked up steam now, and Eddie couldn't even be satisfied that he'd managed to hit the nail on the head because clearly whatever was happening here was the actual thing Steve needed to get off his chest.
"Football practice?" Gareth asked mostly to fill in the tension-filled pause, and then ducked from the swat Eddie aimed his way.
Steve blew out a harsh, mocking breath.
"Dustin found me on the way to Nancy's house, where I was planning on apologizing. Had flowers and everything."
Oh.
Steve's tone said a hell of a lot more than that, the raw emotion making Gareth's own stomach roll.
A careful glance showed an equally punched-out expression on Eddie's face, the metalhead having physically reared back like Steve's words had struck him.
"What were you apologizing for?" He asked, recovering faster than Gareth could.
"Honestly man? I don't know." Steve laughed then, a harsh little disbelieving noise. "I just knew Nancy had said--well she said some shit while drunk, and wasn't able to say some shit sober, and I realized after that maybe I--I rushed her or something you know?"
He ran a hand through his hair, a self soothing behavior. "Or that I did, fuck I don't know. She's Nancy Wheeler, she's smarter than me by a longshot, so if she was mad, than I figured I must be at fault." Steve shrugged, like that was a fact of life.
Eddie interrupted immediately. "She's not smarter than you."
"I--what?"
"Nancy isn't smarter than you.' Eddie repeated firmly. "She's booksmart, Stevie. School smart. Nancy Wheeler absolutely owns tests and papers and things you need to study for, and she’s a hell of a researcher--but she's not people smart."
"What?" Steve repeated incredulously and there Gareth caught a flash of bitchy Steve.
The real one, who'd been shoved aside by the apathetic version.
"Have you ever seen that girl get fixated on something? She's tenacious, gets her teeth in and won't let go.” Eddie snapped his teeth, shaking his head while growling like a dog.
Gareth rolled his eyes, but a ghost of a smile graced Steve’s face.
“But she hasn't figured out how that hurts people yet. She's caught up in getting the results. She's not intentionally unkind, she's just--a little out of touch." Eddie flopped back against the couch, making a grabby gesture for the joint Gareth now held. “People like you--”
Here, he poked Steve in the chest, before reaching past him to wave his hand obnoxiously in Gareth’s face for the joint (and get smacked at for the effort) “are people smart.”
"That's not--no." Steve protested head jerking from Eddie's fingers to Eddie's face, but it was weak, his eyes wide as saucers.
"Yes.” Eddie mocked, but it was in jest, proven by the easy, soft smile he gave Steve. “You said it yourself. The kids go to you, man. They go to you even now, when Nancy or Jonathan could be driving them all over town. You get people; how they work, how they tick, what makes them happy or sad, and people are drawn to you because of that.”
“Jonathan drives.” Steve muttered in disagreement.
“And yet we all witnessed the clown car act when all those kids came out of your backseat two weekends ago.” Eddie refuted. “You’re just as smart as Nancy is, Steve. Just in a different way.”
Steve frowned.
“My parents don’t see it like that.”
“Your parents can get fucked, Sweetheart.”
That was pushing it, but Steve didn't comment on the nickname. Never commented on any nicknames Eddie came up with, beyond the occasional eye roll.
Which is right about when the phone rang.
They all glanced towards it, then down at their respective watches.
It was well past midnight.
"Think that's Wayne?" Gareth asked, eyebrows raising as Eddie stood to answer the phone.
His friend just shrugged, before picking up.
"Munson Mortuary, you stab em we slab em." He chirped as he pressed the phone to his ear.
"Tiffy-Taffy isn't it kinda late for--whoa." Eddies easy smile flipped, back going ramrod straight. "Slow down, what happened?" And oh, shit, that was Eddie's "somethings wrong and I'm going to fix it" voice.
Gareth sat up, making sure the joint Eddie had put down was out as he stared worriedly at Eddie.
"Okay. Gareth and Steve are with me, we're all coming." Eddie finished, prompting Steve to also sit up. "Stay there and for the love of God, tell Stewart not to touch anything else."
"What happened." Steve and Gareth demanded as one.
It'd be funny if the look on Eddie's face wasn't so serious.
"I'm afraid I'm going to have to break my promise about not going to the lab, Steve." He said, a hand going to tug anxiously at his hair.
"What?" Steve said, immediately on the defensive.
Then; "Why?"
"Because all our darling friends went to the Hawkin's lab without us. Apparently they ran into some kids on the way and now Stewart's stuck in a hole."
“All of them?” Gareth questioned, because sure, yeah he could see Stewart doing it. Could see Grant and even Jeff really, but Tiffany? Out exploring an abandoned lab that had killed people?
On a school night?
"She's gonna give us the full story when we get there, she called from the nearest payphone. Had some kid who kept interrupting her so she just gave me the basics, but apparently Stewart is really stuck, and for some reason the damn kids won't let anyone try to get him from some other door. They keep saying it's not safe or some shit." Eddie's anxious tugging grew as he moved to snatch up his wallet and keys, walking and talking as it were.
Gareth had expected a reaction out of Steve then, but what he hadn't expected was Steve to surge to his feet in a near panic.
"Kids!?" He shouted, eyes wide and frantic.
Eddie flinched, but Gareth knew immediately what the jock was thinking.
"You don't think they're your feral pack of kids--do you?" He asked.
"It's always them so yes, yes I do." Steve snarled and for the first time that week, the guy looked alive.
Gareth just wished it was under better circumstances.
#steddie#adopt a jock#once again we are discussing Nancy#no hate#plus its an OUTSIDER pov#Nancy does come in later in AaJ but what were seeing is Eddie seeing the fallout of Stoncy or whatever that pairing is called pre s3#She's a complex character and I like playing with the effect their relationship and general dynamic has on Steve#Steve harrington#eddie munson#gareth emerson#tw drugs#tw weed#tw drinking#(beer)#steve harringtons shitty parents#no one panic eddie does not drive under the influence even if it is the 80s lol#I mention Steve not partaking as much for a reason#lab tiiiime#poor Steve hes havin a go of it#hey we're getting closer to adding Robin!
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The Reddit ND community is so irritating rn. Most of it is super negative about KEY and the stuff that isn't is downvoted and called dishonest and paid off. Yes, I received the game for free with the launch team. No, that does not mean I am not honest with my review. I am still incredibly honest about what I disliked in the game, which was a lot. However, I still liked the game. I can recommend it and like it and even talk shit about it no matter if I got it for free or not.
The Nancy Drew community has gotten so toxic lately and I just want to enjoy the new game. Let people enjoy the game without guilt tripping them, calling them dishonest, or calling them stupid. I like the new game, sue me. And I'm not dishonest for saying so. It's not a great game, it's just a good game really, but I had fun and enjoyed it. It's a step in the right direction. And I'm okay with that.
I hope we get more games in the future. If you didn't like KEY, that's okay, then don't play the next game if we get one. But don't be mean about people who did like it.
#and letting you guys know that MANY game companies give influencers free games to promote and give reviews#not just HeR so stop acting like its the most shady thing#nancy drew#clue crew#nancy drew games#mystery of the seven keys#her interactive
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No because Nancy really smacked Steve and THEN Jonathan beat his ass. Like they really said tag team.
#when i think about how it started with Jonathan holding Nancy back#their each other's worst influence#this is a joke obviously#a he he ha ha#jonathan byers#nancy wheeler#steve harrington
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cfdau thought of the day: Mine to Love by Kristin Chenoweth
#celebrity fake dating au#I am once again PATHETICALLY deep in my wicked phase and I can and will be absolutely insufferable about it#you thought just bc I was off enjoying the wicked homecoming I wouldn’t be thinking about Robin and Nancy?#joke’s on you wicked has influenced everything I’ve ever written in ways I don’t even know#it’s alllllll relevant baby#anyway#every kiss is running out of time#BYEEEE
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i think the most important thing about steve's growth is that it wasn't facilitated by romantic love. it wasn't that he only changed because of a girl. that's what he says in episode 1 when he tells nancy "she's not like other girls" and he reinforces it to himself in season 2 when he says the exact same thing. and then he hangs onto it in season 4, because it's the comfortable thing to think.
but it's jonathan and nancy in combination that get him to tell off his friends and make amends. he goes to jonathan first - he doesn't know nancy'll be there. his first act of repentence (cleaning up his own insults) isn't something he does performatively.
and the thing is, it'd be a delicious thing to acknowledge in canon. that he's convinced himself that it was the girl who changed him but that's not actually the case. that there can be just as profound of an emotional effect illicited by a guy who was protecting what he loves. that it was a multitude of things. that he might have convinced himself because he's used to the type of dynamic tommy gave him - always instigating, provoking, never holding him accountable. and that's never jonathan, who is principled and thoughtful and observant. and it's only a little bit nancy, who has been forced and grown past that.
steve himself tries to put his situation in easy terms that conform to society's pre-occupation with women as the emotional sponges, with cishet normative romance, but it doesn't work. because it's not real. and steve can no longer hide from reality.
#this isn't meant to be a detraction from the influence nancy had on steve#but i think even her role in the thing is less of the classic Good Girl Reforms Playboy that he clearly seems to think happened#bc in a way nancy in s1 is on a SIMILAR journey to steve#so it's really more of a parallel between them#while jonathan is a foil for both of them#steve harrington#jonathan byers#nancy wheeler#stoncy#(i suppose? this was fueled by my feelings on Them)#stonathan#(also to a degree)#rly it's more me lamenting how steve's slower steadier arc could go with a more aware narrative#emspeak#jonathannancysteve
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College is for me but only if it’s us
No angst today, I just got accepted into my master's program so I'm thrilled! All humorous/fluff/good vibes stories today. I hope you guys like it and please leave your thoughts in the comments!
~*~*~*~
It took Eddie three long years to graduate high school and even then, it was by the skin of his teeth. He barely scraped by with straight D’s and even then, his grade in history threatened to hold him back for his fourth senior year. Luckily though, with Nancy’s flashcards and Steve’s motivation while studying, he was able to pass all of his finals and his classes. Eddie army-crawled across the stage, ignoring the anger and slurs from the self-righteous townsfolk, as he received his diploma. He waved to the Party sitting in the audience and smiled at his uncle. Eddie didn’t think he’d make it here but here he was
He, Max, and Steve were in the hospital for weeks following their Spring Break from hell. Eddie had had daily blood transfusions and enough skin graft surgeries to last him for a lifetime. There were still moments where he would feel ice-cold pain flash across his body in a spot deep enough he couldn’t reach it.
Max was in a coma for two weeks before her blurry eyes opened to a world she would never see quite clearly. She still had to attend near-daily physical therapy sessions to be able to walk without the assistance of a walking aid for balance. She would probably never skateboard again.
Steve was in a bad way too despite his reluctance to accept treatment. His wounds from the demobat bites caused him to develop sepsis that nearly killed him. He had to get his system flushed with saline for days to fight off the septic infection and he needed several surgeries to repair the damage done to his sides.
Even still, they all made it. They were moving on with their lives and Eddie had finally graduated. His friends and Uncle Wayne were of course thrilled. They knew he’d graduate with time but he could tell that they were glad his attempts finally paid off. They expected him to devote more time to his music or get a full time job out of town or something.
No one expected him to go to college.
But when Steve expressed interest in enrolling in a local community college and some apprehension in doing so for fear of what their friends may say, Eddie jumped at the chance to take the heat off of him. And boy, did it.
When Steve announced to the Party at one of their regular gatherings that he was going to college, he got some mixed reactions. Some of the Party gave uninterested grumbles, some asked if he was serious, and some pointed out that it would probably just be a waste of money since he wasn’t good at school. Robin was the only one, besides Eddie, that congratulated him on moving onto the next step.
Eddie wasn’t impressed with any of them. No wonder Steve was afraid of their reactions, no one seemed to care and those that did were pointing out how ‘dumb’ he was. So Eddie did what he did best and created a distraction.
“I’m going to college too. Steve and I enrolled together and if we increase our GPA’s enough, we might be able to go to a state school later. We might even move in with each other and get our own place.”
That caused an uproar. Mike and Max were arguing about why he wanted to go with Steve, Uncle Wayne was cheering and toasting him with his beer, Dustin and Will were congratulating him, Jonathan and Nancy were looking suspiciously between him and Steve, and El and Robin were looking on in confusion. But Steve was beaming at Eddie. He’d never seen smile so broadly, so happily.
Eddie watched as Steve ignored all of their friends and stalked up to him. “Hey Big Boy, sorry to steal your thunder-”
All thoughts left his mind as Steve grabbed both sides of his face and brought him in for a deep kiss. Holy shit, Eddie felt like he died and went to heaven. If Eddie knew that this was what would get Steve Harrington to smooch him, he would’ve made plans to go to college with him a long time ago.
Once Steve pulled back for air, Eddie started hearing all of the comments that their friends were making. He pulled back to see a variety of expressions. Some of their friends were supportive like Nancy and Robin who were cheering and wolf-whistling. Others were somewhat offended or disgusted. The most notable voice of the group was Murray who was screeching at Hopper.
“I fucking knew it! Didn’t I fucking call this, Jim? You said I was out of my mind but I was fucking right!”
“Murray, shut the hell up,” Hopper hissed at him.
“Very much like you to doubt the truth, Jim.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” He asked him.
When Eddie made eye contact with Dustin, the kid leapt to his feet and pointed an accusing finger between him and Steve.
“What the hell is this?” Dustin yelled in confused outrage. “You’re not even friends!”
“We clearly are, dude. And more,” Steve told him in a tone that said it should be obvious. Dustin just opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water in response.
Meanwhile, Mike was throwing up behind some bushes muttering nonsensically about Steve ‘doing it again’ and ‘hooking up with his brother too’. He obviously wasn’t over Steve dating Nancy all that time ago.
Steve just shook his head at all of them and pulled Eddie in again. “I’m really looking forward to going to college with you.”
“I can tell, Big Boy. Kiss me again.” At his request, Steve kissed him again. They ignored the pitiful protests of Hopper, the fake gags of Max and Lucas, and even the supportive cheering of Joyce and Wayne. With Steve’s lips on his and his arms around him, nothing existed in the world but them.
Sure, they had some talking to do and some shovel talks to hear. But they would get through it all just as they had before. Things were only looking up for them now. ‘86 really was Eddie’s year.
Permanent Tag List: @doubleb11 @nburkhardt @zerokrox-blog @newtstabber @i-less-than-three-you @carlyv @pyrohonk @straight4joekeery @trippypancakes @conversesweetheart @estrellami-1 @suddenlyinlove @yikes-a-bee @swimmingbirdrunningrock @perseus-notjackson @anaibis @merricatty @maya-custodios-dionach @grtwdsmwhr @manda-panda-monium @lumoschild @goodolefashionedloverboi @mentallyundone @awkwardgravity1 @anzelsilver @jestyzesty @gregre369 @mysticcrownshipper @disasterlia @lillys-weird-world @messrs-weasley @gay-stranger-things
#they weren't even dating before Steve kissed him in front of everyone#they certainly were afterwards though#they end up moving into an apartment together and getting their degrees#Hopper can't even be mad at Eddie for getting with Steve because he's such a good influence now#stranger things#steddie#fanfic#fluff#steve harrington#eddie munson#robin buckley#chief hopper#murray bauman#joyce byers#uncle wayne#dustin henderson#mike wheeler#nancy wheeler#lucas sinclair#will byers#eleven hopper#max mayfield
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please. nancy and eddie don’t look alike. i’m begging you guys. steve wouldn’t confuse one for the other. not even from behind lmao
his type also isn’t just ‘curly hair’. nancy didn’t even get a perm until after they broke up
#my dislike for the confusing a person for another may be influencing my dislike for the trope to be fair#i just don’t like embarrassment.#but still#they don’t look that similar#eddie munson#nancy wheeler#steve harrington#stranger things#my post
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If I had a nickel…
#for every time a red headed girl under the influence of a magic spell#brought about by the influence of someone given a ring#that gently caressed their love interests head#early-ish on#and the counterpart not fully understanding what’s going on but knowing something is wrong#but being flustered by it anyway#I’d have two nickels which isn’t a lot but#locklyle#nace#Lockwood and co#anthony lockwood#lucy carlyle#ace [redacted]#nancy drew#nancy drew cw#ndcw#(me rn: I’ve connected the dots!)#(you haven’t connected shit)#(I’ve connected them)
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the bear (2022-) x first love/late spring - mitski
#the bear fx#the bear season 2#my work#the bear spoilers#the bear s2#carmen berzatto#mitski#have not been able to get this out of my head for the last WEEK#hopefully this quenches the worms#though already i want to remake it with some screenshots that aren't from film recap websites#also everyone say thank you Liv for influencing me w/her nancy posts
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god i wish i were more articulate so i could actually explain my thoughts on all the milven/byler visual parallels...... people using the situational and framing similarities to "prove" that mike feels the same way about both el and will when truly the further you get into both relationships the clearer the discrepancies become between the emotional weights and contexts of each scene.... and the way they're both framed the same way to make those discrepancies stand out even more
#i have so many thoughts on this i've tried writing it out but there's too much nuance i keep giving up#also the day people stop using 'pretty' (nancy coded) and el's dress (NANCY'S) as proof of mike's romantic feelings is the day i know peace#he is literally seeing her as a sister figure it's made so clear over and over and over#(while also being heavily influenced by heteronormativity)#i neeeed to talk about the visual parallels one day though i will figure out how to explain myself#they're there for a reason and it's not mike having genuine romantic feelings#also. you know he doesn't feel the same way about both of them. i know you know. the cognitive dissonance required to pretend he both#does and doesn't love el the same way he loves will#not getting into discourse not getting into discourse not getting into discourse (i hate it here)#if u completely erase the context to claim mike's lovesick look in the van is the same one he gave a girl he'd known for 2 days...........#i respectfully disagree :))))))))))))))))))))))))#ghfhdfhhjgfgdf i'm gonna lose my mind
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ok. i wanna hear everyone's beavis and butthead/king of the hill crossover ideas. go
#beavis and butthead#king of the hill#ok in my mind. in my brain.#bobby would want to hang out with b&bh. they would bully him. but he's friends with stewart#bradley would hang in the alley with the guys. dave would hang out w peggy and minh. and nancy but he doesn't like her bc she's a cheater#dave and peggy get competitive over boggle. and they bitch about teacher problems to each other#joseph would love b&bh and be influenced by them.#connie would hate them. she'd look up to daria but also wonder why she's so pessimistic#hank would kick todd's ass. and b&bh would look up to boomhauer#who'd be like. dang ol leave me the dang ol hell alone man#oh man. and brad would go soooo far to keep van d and cotton from meeting#cause he'd have to kill cotton and defend his wife's honor. but he doesn't want to have to do that
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It’s a fire hazard but I don’t really care-
#beverly marsh#bev marsh#it 2017#the losers club#losers club#modern it#nancy drew#is this aesthetic?#punk aesthetic#bev is so punk rock just for being the only girl in a boys club#beverly it#influencers#it stephen king
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sanctus dentes/canem dei
okay u know what –– I just answered an anon ask that brought up the old cori fic I talked about writing months ago, so in the spirit of recollection I was excavating some drafts and I found a part I like –– all that to say, here’s the first vignette of sanctus dentes / canem dei for your consumption :) this is the prologue to the whole kit and caboodle, and it’ll probably get edited and expanded before I post it in earnest, but I really truly haven’t posted writing in so long and today I'm on a good wave of productivity and hey, seize the moment ride the urge etc etc
a TW for gore, blood, violence, and body horror (which I'll also put in the post tags)
SANCTUS DENTES / CANEM DEI (draft, WIP)
EPIGRAPH
“Epopteia, completed sight––meaning the sight that brings us beyond initiation (which only ‘understands’) to ‘contemplation,’ a ‘super-sight’ that is a ‘devouring of the eyes’ (the eye devouring its very self), a grasping and finally a touching: the very absolute of touching, touching-the-other- as being-touched, each being absorbed and devoured in the other.” –– Corpus, Jean-Luc Nancy
GENESIS I: THE PARABLE OF THE DINING ROOM FLOOR
“You don’t love me.”
The blood bubbles in tongues between the split lips. The young man has the eyes of a doe, his pupils blown wide enough they swallow the tawny ring of his shivering iris. His terror is so thick from his pores it might be swiped up with a finger, swept against the tongue, tasted in all its viscous splendor. He reeks of panting sweat, the tar and velvet of post-arousal pheromones crashing into summer-lightning adrenaline that crackles in the nose.
The Corinthian hums into the plate of the sternum. He cradles the tender cheek, licks the soft skin of the purpling undereye, where the threads of capillaries have split beneath the epidermis. The taste is not iron –– such a banal simplification, to call blood near-spilling only, reductively, “metallic”. It’s a bouquet of honeysuckle plasma, fatty satin like good gruyere, platelets of sour rhubarb pie and fresh raspberry. When he bites the thin skin, it tears easily, only so much wet tissue under perfected incisors.
“I don’t?”
"You––" The tears season the meat well –– the Corinthian appreciates the gesture. "You said––"
"Baby," the Corinthian murmurs into the open wound, "didn't your momma ever tell you not to trust a stranger?"
Languorous and immovable, the Corinthian pins the young man's wrists above his bleeding head. In the dark, all things become more and less than what they are. The thick cords of the neck pull taut, strung fierce enough that their columns emerge from the dimness as the spine of some deep-sea horror cresting the sea. He scrapes his teeth against the jaw, where the bone runs close to the surface, and prophesies the sponge of marrow under molar. The body shudders –– glorious, isn't it, how the rigid little mind might strive to save itself from that which thrills the flesh.
"Please. Please."
"Little lamb, what're you begging for?" The Corinthian lays a kiss against the mouth. From the man's overlapping palms issues the hilt of a thin blade –– the other is buried, arrow-like, between his second and third rib. The rasp of the voice is laden with lung collapse, breath that no longer fits into smothered struts. In the valley of the tendons, the heart courses, torrential.
“Mercy. Merciful God, I can’t die like this.”
The Corinthian sinks his teeth into the muscle of the shoulder, at the point it meets the neck. A slobbery gasp surges from the open mouth –– no better music, thinks the Corinthian, as his canines meet the granite edge of the scapula. The heart is racing, ever the traitor. They are all like this. The space between suffering and ecstasy is so minute he could not slide a fingernail into it.
He severs, at last, the tendons, and a slop of meat comes free. The sheets of the hotel bed will be irrecoverable –– mark of a real good night. It's hot and fresh down his throat. He thinks about getting sashimi after he's done here. Though it'll be a long time until the meal has ended.
The man's mind is fading, even while his body yearns after the teeth that destroy it. He babbles, warbling prayers so loose-limbed and slurred they are only a horsehair bow drawn across untuned vocal folds.
"Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name, hallowed be thy––"
"Shh, shh shh shh, baby." He chews and swallows, and when he kisses the hollow of the throat it's only to rip the skin loose from the clavicles, to see those nubs of bone glow pearlescent in the night. "Be not afraid."
"––thy king–– thy kingdom come–– thy––"
Once, when he was young, he had eaten only the eyes. He had popped the tart cherries of sight, reveled in the liquor of the vitreous humor, the plasticky chew of the cornea –– he'd gnaw on the lenses for hours, like wads of clear gum. But his life had been long, and his maker had sculpted him from famine, and famine knew no sating. Famine, blooming low in the gut, scaled the spine and hung from the jaw. It grew, and grew, and filled him with gaping mouths. There was no moment he did not hunger. He couldn't satisfy himself on eyes, these days.
"You fear what you don't understand," says the Corinthian. The man's arms are slack enough that when he releases them, they slump limb and immobile. He drags his hands down the flanks, sinks his fingers between two mirrored ribs, and the flesh gives so readily it seems almost eager. "I don't love you?"
With a squelch and groan, the intercostals split apart. The Corinthian curls his grip around the bone, on either side, and grins, threefold.
"––thy will be–– done–– on Earth, as it is–– in Heaven–– give–– give us––"
"Sanctum corpus," he breathes. "Baby, don't be cruel."
"––this day, our daily bread–– forgive–– forgive–– forgive––"
He snaps the ribs apart. The hull of skin and muscle is rent open, and the smell, sacramental wine, bursts forth in heavenly plenitude.
"Hoc est enim corpus meum. Eat of my flesh, and drink of my blood."
The man buckles, chokes. The whites of his eyes shine liquid, pale shells, spilled oil.
"I love you," murmurs the Corinthian. He does.
The Corinthian buries his face in the guts, and takes communion.
#tw: gore#tw: blood#tw: body horror#tw: bodily fluids#tw: violence#the sandman#the sandman fic#the corinthian#the corinthian (sandman)#jean-luc nancy's corpus is a massive influence on this btw#really cool book! highly recommend#anyway this'll be on ao3 at some point as well#after hounds 42 goes up#thanks for reading!#wip
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