#inferred misgendering

[getinthehandbasket]

I really FUCKING hate it when I say "my partner" and the other person then calls my partner "my husband".

FIRST, she's not a man.

SECOND, she's not married to me (yet).

THIRD, I'm pretty fucking sure you're assuming I'm a woman. I'm not.

FOURTH, NEITHER OF US ARE STRAIGHT

[dunesofpriam]

Actually, the reason misgendering is hurtful is because it sucks having people tell you you're something you're not. It's hard enough to be born into the wrong body and to deal with the ways one's mind can try to destroy you because it recognizes how you exist as wrong, it doesn't help that when you ask someone for a little respect they spit in your face. Calling me a woman isn't wrong because being a woman is a bad thing to be, it's wrong because I was never supposed to be one and the "female body" I was born into just feels like a cheap, ill fitting costume that is constantly choking me. All most of us want is to be treated with respect. Me being trans isn't anymore of an ideology than me being bisexual is.

I'm sure it does hurt having someone tell you you're something you're not. When I was a kid my grandma told me dragons aren't real so I can't have one as a pet. Made me cry.

That doesn't make dragons real.

You can't be born in the wrong body, that mindset is born out of a the view that your body is just some vessel for your mind. You are the whole thing. Your body is you. I can understand you may have a condition(s) which make your life harder and I sympathize with that.

You say you were never supposed to be born into a female body; says who? Either you're looking to religion (which I don't ascribe to and can simply tell you I don't share your faith) or you're looking to biology, which has yet to show any actual physical condition which causes a person to be trans. At best you could say you were never supposed to feel you should have been male.

You will never be able to escape your female body, because you are female. Therefore your body will always be a female body. Perhaps if you were a frog or a parrot fish, but alas, we cannot change sex. You might feel no longer trapped if you were "perceived" as male - so you're referring to the societal constructs around male and female, in which case; congrats! That is the core of radical feminism - to deconstruct that. Women are adult female humans in the same way a bull is a male cow. It's just the term used to differentiate our sexually dimorphic species. No further inferences which can be controlled by free will should be ascribed to that, however those decisions made under free will should be analyzed and discussed to identify the societal factors causing them, and to figure out whether there is a biological component.

[sparklypepper]

@hungarianmudkip69 recently asked @vaspider about the spread of HIV. The excellent discussion there focused largely on qualitative aspects, notably what was going on socially in the 1970s and 80s, HIV's subtlety and long incubation periods, and exponential growth (along with a great refutation of accidental needle sticks as a dominant vector).

I've got a math and physics background - I have some extremely relevant intuition, but I still prefer being able to find real-world numbers to confirm that I haven't misapplied it. I encourage checking out all the links in this post; there's a lot of great information!

We can't literally go back in time and test everyone for HIV, but it is possible to model and estimate, e.g. this 2021 report from the CDC (US-only).

The second graph of figure #2 is very close to what we discussed:

(MMSC is male-to-male sexual contact and IDU is injection drug use; see the article for other details.)

Again, these are estimates, so we can't take the exact numbers as fact, but let's look at the big picture. HIV likely first arrived in the US around 1970; it first gained public attention in 1981, when the CDC reported cases of what we now call AIDS. At that point, the estimate is an order of magnitude of tens of thousands of HIV infections.

The original asker was interested in the behavior of a "patient zero" (see also "Debunking the Myth of Patient Zero", an excellent video linked in that thread). These numbers help us see how little effect one hypothetical person's behavior could have had on the end result. As long as the virus was transmitted at all, it was going to reach the highest-risk populations eventually, and spread once there, whether it took one hop or ten. It was also essentially impossible to notice the pattern and infer the existence of HIV/AIDS in the US until multiple people in the same community developed AIDS and contracted unusual infections - which most likely means that it's reached that high-risk population, and ten years have passed.

Tens of thousands of infections is simply the result of exponential growth during those ten years; stopping it from becoming an epidemic would've required everyone's behavior to have changed. Different behavior, different transmission, different number of hops early on would more likely have changed how long it took to spread widely enough to become noticeable, not whether it did. (An unfortunately familiar concept, in the year 2023.)

The authors also mention that "trend data comparing subpopulations is likely to be robust for each period examined", so let's look back at those individual lines. Injection drug use (IDU) actually was a fairly significant means of transmission by the 1980s, and by the mid-80s, the spread among gay/bi men (MMSC) was beginning to decline. At the end of the decade, IDU may even have passed MMSC. Simultaneously, transmission was still rising among straight people. It shouldn't be too surprising that straight sex became significant; there are rather a lot of straight people!

The CDC also has us covered for a more current picture, as of 2017-2021 in the US:

This does vary greatly by country. Notably, as of 2022 in England, 49% of new diagnoses were among heterosexuals, compared to 45% among gay/bi men. (Do keep in mind that there are far more straight people, so still, a far higher fraction of gay/bi men were diagnosed.)

I personally find that I get the best understanding when I'm able to combine some direct evidence/data with an understanding of the history and social forces; hopefully this piece helps at least one person out in that way!

[Finally, as a footnote: trans women also exist (hi I'm one) and have historically been at high risk. I am unsure to what extent trans women are omitted versus misgendered in the above data. I wanted to focus on historical estimates over time here, and unfortunately wasn't able to find that for trans women, but this review article links to and summarizes some data from two meta-analyses.]

[afterthefeast]

ok gender in terra ignota is ofc super complicated but i don’t think we can assume that 9A is misgendering martin or papa by saying they would “answer to woman” at worst i think that is equally as suspect as mycroft using he/him pronouns for them both (and in any case those things are not mutually exclusive). mycroft is not good with gender, we know this, and assigns pronouns based entirely on his own esoteric understanding of them rather than actual knowledge of others’ gender. 9A calling martin is a woman is intended to show the reader that mycroft exclusively he/hims the masons. if anything i think given that 9A explicitly rejects madame’s bullshit and is a more shall we say socially well-adjusted individual, they are at the very least more in tune with whatever customs surrounding gender exist in 2545 and are more likely to respect them, though ultimately neither mycroft or 9A can be considered impartial judges on this and that is very much the point.

the only characters whose pronouns i think we can know for certain are sniper, carlyle, dominic, julia, madame, and maaaybe heloïse, and i think we could reasonably infer what madame’s inner circle could prefer. otherwise we have absolutely no idea, and that is obviously the point; as we know from carlyle, every single mason & cousin, papa, jim in-jin and charlemagne guildbreaker, and the truly incredible example of real life jean-jacques rousseau mycroft’s assumptions about gender are truly cooked and in no way representative of any character’s actual preferred gender or pronouns. apart from anything else he is literally not in touch with reality. to suggest that 9A is misgendering a character with reference to mycroft’s evidence makes absolutely no sense.

[rifki16]

Tadaima, Okaeri Episode 5 Review

Photo Source: Tadaima, Okaeri Twitter Promotional Twitter Account

A very yummy salmon sashimi that left me feeling weird

I have to confess something yall. I freaked out on Twitter. After the cold open, when Matsuo was at the Fujiyoshi's, I really thought that Matsuo had actually got engaged or married to Yuki. Like, damn bro, I need to see Matsuo and Yuki dating! They looked so perfect and comfortable together ^^

HOWEVER, as I watched the opening scene again, it turned out that the ring that Matsuo had resided on his middle finger NOT the ring finger haha, Gomen nasai to all my Twitter followers or who read that tweet of mine.

I really don't know what it is with Matsuo and his obsession in teasing Hikari about being an older brother. I mean, the interaction about being the older brother started out fine. Then, Matsuo told Hi-chan about all the responsibilities of being the older brother. He could have just said that it was fun yet you just needed to adjust how you behave in order to teach your younger siblings about the world. Matsuo is something else haha

I was so sad when Hi-chan got a mild fever :(. I'm so glad that Hi-chan and Hina-chan have two dads and they agreed to divide up the attention so none felt like they were abandoned. When Ma-chan told Hi-kun that he had done enough, I cried so hard yall. I really don't know that parents could do that.

You know, loving without harming self-growth, providing space emotionally to grow.

When Matsuo was on a call with Ma-chan, Matsuo needed to apologise because he didn't think that his teasing could have made Hi-chan catch a mild fever, I really wanted to tell Yuki to just discipline his man lol.

Okay, I really need to type carefully about the next subtopic as it's something that needs very thorough research and nuanced perspectives, yet I have time to do neither and I really want to just put it out there. Treatment of Women in the Male-dominated Space within Omegasphere

First of all, I was quite pissed off that Hinata didn't get her own banner. I don't know why yet, it could be that maybe Hinata was just born, and her name was also just recently given - as indicated by the fact that when Fujiyoshi-san was on a call with Hiromu, Fujiyoshi-san still asked Hiromu about Hinata's name. It could be that maybe only firstborns were allowed to have a banner like that. It could also be that Fujiyoshi-san was just reinforcing the old tradition and that he didn't really want to put up the banner with Hinata's name.

Secondly, does any of you remember the scene in Modern Family, when Cam was given breakfast on bed by Mitchell? Cam was hysterical because Mitchell made it seem that Cam was the woman in the relationship.

I mean, homosexual relationships are always confronted by this problem, even by those who were supposed to tolerate us; "who's the man in the relationship?" and most of the time they answer said question by inferring from an answer to the question of "who's the top?"

My point is, that these heterosexual normies seem to always insist that we conform to their gender roles in a relationship, even when we are definitely not a heterosexual couple.

The scene of when Hi-chan was wearing the hat and costume which his grandfather bought for him. I really don't get why Ma-chan needed to stay in another room with Hi-chan's grandmother. I mean, as Ma-chan bore Hikari and Hinata, I guess there was no doubt about who the bottom is. But, Ma-chan is still a man and he seems to still identify as one, so why the forced equivalence?

I HAVE TO STRESS THIS ALSO BEING A CALLED A WOMAN IS NOT AN INSULT. I'm not saying that somehow Ma-chan lost his dignity because he got misgendered, or rather treated misgenderedly. I just don't like that Hi-chan's grandparents seem to only see Hi-chan as their grandchildren's baby incubator, and not as a full man who has a womb. It's such a queer erasure to treat Ma-chan as a woman because it means that Fujiyoshi-san really just sees their son marrying a woman, just with different genitalia, instead of seeing and accepting that their son is in a loving and thriving homosexual relationship.

Thirdly, now, this is why I call this episode a yummy sashimi that made me felt very uneasy. When Hi-chan's grandmother gave Ma-chan her kimono, I cried uncontrollably. Ma-chan even got shy when Hiromu saw him in one, that really warmed my heart. I understand that the scene was supposed to highlight how Fujiyoshi-san really saw Ma-chan as one of their family members. But again, there's a part of me who wants to protest making a Kimono as a gift, but I really have no cultural perspectives as to whether a Kimono could be worn by a man too or not.

All in all, watch it yall, it was so cute. Hi-chan saying bye-bye was EVERYTHING

[the-one-who-isnt-an-anon]

comic timeline

All non-holiday dates are approximate but should be accurate relative to each other. Using past tense for events before the comic, present tense for Day 1 and beyond. I'm not inferring anything that isn't explicitly supported in canon even if the events seem obviously linked.

Last updated 2/13/2024.

Referenced events from before the comic, undated. Sorted by main topic:

Showfall productions:

Riptide from JRWI was produced but canceled early.

Bizly played Florida Man in the original 100 days film. Tommy played Patient Zero on contract.

Slime Demon had an ad-libbed baking show. Niki's character debut was written out and show was canceled in the middle of filming only a few episodes in, supposedly due to lack of viewership.

Sneeg had an 8-episode-run detective show.

Personnel:

Hetch fired 5 people over the years, including Criken.

In pretty quick succession, 1) Frank was hired, 2) Jerma left, 3) then Charlie was hired.

Frank and Charlie are the non-founding members who have worked at Showfall the longest without breaks.

Showfall fired Charlie's stunt double without notice.

Criken worked alongside Sneeg and others. He was fired 1 month in.

Before the tapes, employees were still leaving or planning to leave.

Hetch:

Hetch had at least one parent who treated him poorly (implied to be due to the parent's trauma from serving in the Vietnam War)

Hetch previously wanted Ranboo involved in Showfall.

Hetch got his jacket as a birthday present.

Hetch stopped filling Ranboo in on Showfall's production details.

The Founder used to be Hetch's best friend until she said something inappropriate to Hetch about Kate (Hetch's former girlfriend, implied to happen around or after Kate's death)

Charlie:

When Charlie was 20, he posted homework from a college film course on Youtube. He was approached by Showfall to do the original 100 Days film.

Charlie got a day off on his birthday. once.

Charlie and Hetch used to get along, but Hetch treated Charlie coldly.

Ranboo:

Ranboo used to want to be an author until a dumb thing happened at school.

Ranboo "did" something which the cyberbully told all their (former) friends about.

Other characters:

Wilbur and Niki used to stream before she was hired by Showfall

Mark and Ethan were popular let's players who were going to start a collab channel (Unus Annus).

Mark Iplier went to Chuck-E-Cheese many times.

2007-ish (when Ranboo was 4):

Hetch taught rats to "talk" by coding a program with pre-programmed phrases and a standard computer keyboard.

Ranboo had nightmares that Skitters the rat was experimenting on them.

2010-ish (11 years before early 2021):

Showfall had a Youtube channel for shows/movies before later creating their own website. Original team consisted of Hetch, Founder, (implied) Jerma.

Doll House (Showfall's first production).

April 3, 2013:

Showfall was officially founded. (Presumably the Youtube channel predates this and this date refers to the website - if not, the above events move down here.)

A couple years before comic start:

Hetch used to be a better director to Charlie.

2 years before comic start (2018):

Vinny was hired at Showfall.

A year before comic start (2019):

Ranboo bought a varsity jacket at Homecoming (presumably 10th grade).

A couple months before comic start (Fall 2020):

Ranboo's mom died ("earlier in 2020," implied autumn).

Ranboo's 2020 birthday, they couldn't leave their bed (also only implied autumn or winter).

Hetch became an asshole.

Showfall sold its building and moved to the mall.

Ranboo liked to hang out in the woods and pretend they were being chased by a serial killer.

Ranboo found the tapes. (implied)

Dec 14, 2020:

Charlie's first interview.

Dec 15, 2020:

Sneeg's first interview.

Showfall has only 5 current shows. 1 of them is the 100 days TV remake.

Charlie meets Ranboo.

Ethan fights geese.

Twitter blows up about Hetch's misgendering of Ranboo.

Founder threatens Hetch into hiring Ranboo for a 1-year contract.

Dec 16, 2020:

Ranboo has his first interview.

A light almost falls on Vinny.

Ranboo meets Niki.

Midnight meeting between Hetch and the Founder in order to further threaten Ranboo.

Dec 31, 2020, NYE:

The crew plans a strike.

Last day/s of refilming the 100 days pilot with Ranboo written in. 14-hour work days.

Cast party was moved up to be a New Year's Eve party.

A light almost falls on Vinny.

Rebrand is announced.

Hetch warns Ranboo not to get attached to the actors.

Frank is mentioned.

Jan 1?, 2021:

Ranboo runs off set of 100 days in tears.

1 month hiatus begins.

Some point in January 2021:

Vinny breaks his arm due to a falling item.

5 new actors are being hired. Hetch was not consulted due to being busy with editing.

New projects greenlit: 2nd season of 100 days, soap opera, a game show for Austin, slime demon baking show reboot.

(possibly later into February) Frank is promoted to head of HR.

Jan 31?, 2021:

Ranboo passes out 3 times in one day, attributed to low blood sugar.

Feb 1?, 2021:

1 month hiatus ends.

100 days tv show was popular.

New Showfall streaming service and VIP pass.

100 days is filmed at a rate of 1 episode per week (at least?), filmed in a single day. The first season is wrapping up.

5 new actors are hired.

Feb 2?, 2021:

First day of work for Wilbur Soot (approached Showfall), Mark Iplier (1 year contract), and Valkyrae (was approached by Showfall).

We meet Frank.

Austin is rehearsing for a game show.

Sneeg and Vinny are forbidden from greeting the new actors.

Valkyrae works as an assistant on Austin's game shows (implied/offscreen).

Feb 3?, 2021:

Mark and Ethan get Unus Annus greenlit.

Vinny writes a song with Wilbur and Niki.

Cameron, Mike, and Ashley's names are shared with the audience.

Cameron is masked.

Hetch gets drunk after work.

Sneeg drives Ranboo home - they talk about true crime.

Feb 4?, 2021:

Frank gives Cameron the rest of the day off due to weird behavior.

Hetch greenlights "Untitled: The Musical" for Vinny/Wilbur/Niki.

Ranboo wants to stay at Showfall for the rest of their life.

Feb 5?, 2021:

Hetch plans Unus Annus filming to start in a month.

Hetch confronts the Founder about the secrets she's keeping and is told to take the day off.

Ask the Actors: Lightning Round before another month break.

Hetch almost tells Sykkuno to suck it as Sykkuno's first on-screen appearance.

Unus Annus has its first 8 episodes written at this point.

Ethan recently splurged on a new plant for his fish.

Ranboo has another on-set outburst while trying to defend his dad.

Jerma is revealed.

Niki? is invited to coffee dates with Charlie and Sneeg.

1 month hiatus begins.

Feb 6? - March 4?, 2021:

Charlie starts a prank war with Jerma.

Twitter teasers for the convention in Lostfield town square.

Ranboo remakes their twitter account

March 5?, 2021:

1 month hiatus ends.

Ranboo sees Charlie and Sneeg at the coffee shop.

Lostfield town square convention. Unus Annus's first 2 episodes and a teaser for "Your New Boyfriend: A Musical Obsession" are released.

March 6?, 2021:

Ranboo is up in the wee hours of the morning getting cyberbullied by a classmate.

Fan meetups.

Ranboo feels anxious from cyberbullying and lost sleep. They stick by Charlie at the audience's suggestion.

Founder confronts audience on their "roleplay."

Charlie and Hetch fight over who deserves Ranboo's trust more.

Charlie and Hetch are arrested. Founder bails them out with 1/4 of the Unus Annus budget.

Charlie sees a drone, yet unnamed.

The Box.

March 7?, 2021:

Ranboo greets Hetch at home after Hetch has been gone for 24+ hours.

March 8?, 2021:

Hetch leaves Ranboo at home and returns to Showfall.

March 9?, 2021 (2 days after Hetch survived the Box):

Charlie interviews other workers (Sneeg is the only one onscreen) about working conditions to bring about the "death of Showfall Media" - to spend his last months at Showfall getting as much evidence of worker abuse as possible. The terms he uses imply a legal case.

Hetch meets the askers with less of a filter.

Ranboo is left behind at home again.

The crew's behavior has become stranger lately and they rarely interact with cast.

Cameron appears with a mask and without, seeming his normal cheerful self.

Frank organizes an HR meeting with all Showfall employees except Ranboo and Founder. They discuss working conditions, the missing funds (allocated to death traps), and Hetch's behavior. Hetch apologizes.

Frank makes plans to "fix the Founder's issues" via HR

Hetch confiscates Ashley's iPad and uses it to contact the askers that night.

Hetch reveals that the mind control "wasn't supposed to get this bad" and was just to make employees stay at Showfall and follow directions on set.

Hetch agrees to work with the other employees to get them out of Showfall.

Hetch is told about Ranboo's cyberbully.

March 10?, 2021:

Hetch comes up with the "Sorry" pilot, an improv-based show made as an apology to Showfall cast.

Hetch uses the iPad and two spare earpieces to make a non-censored audio-based method of communicating with askers. Hetch later gives the iPad back to Ashley, but it is broken.

Ranboo confronts both Charlie and Hetch on the fight at the coffee shop.

Hetch gives Charlie one of the earpieces. Charlie doesn't believe the askers' uncensored warnings.

Half of the crew is out sick, which Charlie attributes to COVID.

Ranboo locks themself in a storage closet while their cyberbully messages them.

Hetch lends his own earpiece to Ranboo. The askers convince them to leave the closet. Ranboo apologizes to Charlie.

The Founder is aware of the situation and frustrated. She has created a black mask with red circuitry, apparently Hetch's mask from TSE, to "get him back soon."

Later in the day, filming for Sorry begins.

Hetch is reminded of the vote, confusing Charlie and inspiring Ranboo and Charlie to cheer him up with a "try not to laugh challenge." Hetch agrees for the sake of winning Charlie's trust. Ranboo seems to recover from earlier.

The Founder encourages Jerma to invite Hetch out to drinks as a distraction. Jerma and Hetch argue but end the night getting along.

Charlie explores the mall overnight for proof for his ongoing battle against Showfall, ignoring warnings from the askers; Sneeg waits in the car and notices someone enter the building.

Ranboo meets up with their stalker in the mall and pushes them during an altercation. A light falls on the stalker, killing them. The Founder and Charlie both witness this.

The Founder offers to hide the body in exchange for Charlie's silence and Hetch's cooperation regarding the earpieces. Charlie argues with the Founder and, with Sneeg, takes Ranboo home.

Something prevents everyone from contacting the police.

Ranboo explains what happened before going to bed.

Hetch warns Charlie and Sneeg about Showfall's future plans.

March through May, 2021

Ranboo continues to rise in popularity at Showfall. They start keeping a journal and socially withdraw.

The police have still been unable to be reached.

Sneeg, Charlie, and Ranboo are given extra work by the Founder.

The Founder makes Hetch watch her experiments.

Hetch buys a gun for himself and a pocket knife for Ranboo.

Hetch makes financial preparations for himself and Ranboo to flee Lostfield along with Sneeg and Charlie.

May 10?, 2021

After a 2-month gap where he tried and failed to contact the askers, Hetch manages to get through.

Hetch plans for him/Ranboo/Sneeg/Charlie to leave town at dark, asking the viewers to watch Showfall from now on on his behalf.

[canichangemyblogname]

Someone explain this to me like I’m 3. Does heterosexual not refer to men who are exclusively attracted to women and women who are exclusively attracted to men? If you don’t have a gender, you aren’t a man or a woman, no? Can your partner be het if you do not fall into the binary? Is this a dumb question? Like— yeah— anyone can call themselves het, I’m not the fucking police, but it also seems to me like an act of de/misgendering? I suppose it’s not if that’s how you personally identify, but if I’m telling an agender person that they’re het because of who they’re dating, then it certainly is because I’m implying they’re one of the binary genders dating the “opposite” gender. This suggestion— to me— is giving the same vibes as those narrow minded folk who claim that enbies are, in essence, just straight and simply “looking for attention.”

Also, poll options don’t allow you to have this long of an answer as an option. You are limited in your characters, so I could not fit the entire definition of “gay” into the box: men, the men-adjacent, the men-aligned, and non-women who love men, the men-adjacent, the men-aligned, and non-women. You’re just going to have to infer for yourself based on ✨ vibes ✨ whether you do or do not fit into a category. Especially as I was given only 12 option slots at— like— 60 characters or less.

Also, you’re going to argue that specifically naming certain identities under the non-binary umbrella is a more valid way to word this poll, but then limit the identities you name from under that umbrella? What about trigender, bigender, demigirl, demiboy, genderflux, etc? Like— no— this would not make more sense than to just say “Nonbinary spectrum,” because then I’d be naming certain identities at the exclusion of others. Believe it or not, sometimes an umbrella term *is* more inclusive. Especially as I have 12 option slots at about 60 characters or less.

Like… please just use the “nuance” button. That’s why it is there. I understood there are limitations to a tumblr poll.

“Actually, this poll would be better if you included [insert 20 variations] when you only have 12 slots to begins with. And also if you excluded romantic attraction, as this is a poll purely about sexual attraction.” Would it tho? “I think you should use different terms as ‘bi’ is transphobic and there are terms more inclusive of multisexuality.” Can I kick you?

I also hate that this is critiquing my choice to use the identity labels “gay” and “lesbian” in the poll, instead proposing that I should have specified a gender binary here. “Gay” and “lesbian” aren’t inherently binary labels that can always simply be interchanged with “man” and “woman.” People who fit into those labels also have a complex relationship with gender that cannot simply be expressed via the simple binary, even if they do identify within the binary or “appear” to fit within it. EX: it is not uncommon to meet a lesbian who goes by she/her and will tell you her gender is “lesbian,” and that this is not interchangeable with “woman” because of how societies make straightness a prerequisite for inclusion into womanhood. Some of these things have complex histories and very personal meanings, and I made the conscious choice to use these terms because of that. Same goes for my conscious choice to use “bisexual” instead of the label your proposed. It is LGBTQ, not HHMTQ.

—Sincerely a gay trans man who does not fit into the binary gender spectrum (but who is still a gay man)

[fen-the-magnificat]

more thoughts on a soc &j au (beware spoilers for both!!)

ok so.

juliet and romeo as nina and matthias. i really feel as though nina is simply a more mature juliet; they share a very similar charm and wit. plus nina being a heartrender i feel like gives 'oops i did it again' vibes even though that is not what a heart render does lmao. i just feel there is a symbolism to be found between juliet as a lover and hearts + exerting control over them (this takes me back to year 9 writing r&j essays, were they in control of their romance or was it fate, that kind of idea).

matthias and romeo are not very similar characters in terms of personality - what with romeo being kinda airheaded and Matthias being a more stoic character. BUT. matthias is raised druskelle, who hunt and kill grisha (what nina is), which is about as close as you can get to a capulet-montague metaphor, i reckon. plus, (SPOILERS) his death at the end of crooked kingdom, IN NINAS ARMS MIGHT I MENTION, is very r&j, and very the start of &j, as nina does not also kill herself. both pairs follow a classic forbidden lovers arc, while not created, was popularised to some extent by r&j, so i feel like the doomed romance creates some glaring parallels.

NOW.

frankie as wylan. wylan, in both show and books, is mousy, a talented musician, lacking in confidence. remind you of anyone? he's also neurodivergent-coded, and so is frankie. they both share an overbearing father and an absent mother figure (please note: this is not me equating lance to van eck. lance misunderstands his son, van eck is straight up abusive.) wylan has a beautiful arc of sort of discovering part of himself, and a certain level of self-confidence, through his love for jesper and the support he receives in return, that i think lines up in a really neat way with frankie's overall arc in the show of finding himself, and finding confidence, due in part to finding may.

speaking of! may as jesper. physical characteristics aside, jesper is the fashionable smooth-talker of the crows, in a way that reminds me of the may we see before 'domino' and again before 'i kissed a girl'. jesper also faces similar challenges to may, but where may struggles with their gender identity, (SPOILERS) jesper represses his own grisha powers. and before you say "fen! that's not the same thing at all, you doof!" both aspects of the characters are painted as integral to each of them respectively. may has (presumably, as it's not outright stated, only inferred) dealt with years of misgendering and confusion, and hides that part of themself up until 'i'm not a girl', and jesper actively works to hide the powers that, as part of his culture (zemini), "should be celebrated" because of a bad experience in the past (not gonna spoil that one). also, jesper wears a skirt for like. several episodes of shadow and bone, and to me personally, it's giving genderfluid vibes, but that's neither here nor there.

overall, please watch this scene, look me in the eyes, and tell me it's not maycois.

PS. not sure who i would put as kaz and inej? maybe anne and william? however it works more in the sense of their strained relationship in &j than it does in terms of the actual characters. hmm.

[drdemonprince]

Hi Dr. Price! I have seen a few posts on your social media about people identifying with the term "AFAB," and I don't really understand what they mean. As an autistic, effeminate trans man, I feel like there are all these subsections of how people label me that make me feel like a bad person for existing (but you're one source of solace). And then so many trans men identify with "AFAB," and it makes me feel icky for reasons I can't comprehend. How can I find out more about this topic? -Jasper

The short version is this: if we really support trans people, drawing any inferences on who a person is and what qualities they have based on their assigned gender at birth makes no sense. Believing trans people about their identities and believing there is some essential difference between amabs and afabs are two totally incompatible belief systems. This piece is about the myth of "female socialization" but you can switch that out for people harping on the importance of assigned sex, too

now where distinguishing between different groups of trans people matters, from my view, is when we are discussing relative privilege. Trans women suffer from transmisogny, society's often violent hatred of trans women. It's an intersection between transphobia and misogyny that is wholly unique, just as say misogynoir, society's hatred of Black women, is a distinct form of oppression. (transmisogynoir, societal hatred of Black trans women, is another intersection with its own unique experiences wrapped up in it). Trans men do not experience transmisogyny, and neither do cis women, or cis men, or nonbinary who are not trans femme. So we are all what can be described as transmisogyny-exempt, or TME. It's not a perfect label either (especially for nonbinary people), but I think it locates the problem where it really exists (society's hatred of both women and trans people) rather than attributing the problem to people's assigned sex at birth, which often gets used in super misgendering ill-conceived ways.

another related piece on the pitfalls of avoiding these many intersections

[ipoddymouth]

I agree with everything you said often on the internet people jump to call others all kinds of -ists and -phobes and I’m not saying that these people necessarily aren’t those things but there’s a difference between someone who truly believes these oppressive and harmful things and genuinely has hatred for minorities vs someone who might just be ignorant/ doesn’t really think. On top of that people will bring things from 10 years ago and say that someone is currently that -ist or phobe and it’s like are they? Can’t people change? Not saying you have to forgive everyone and I definitely wasn’t running around saying slurs or anything 10 years ago but, people can change I’m more progressive and more educated about things than I was 10 years ago yknow? I probably said some ignorant shit back then but I wasn’t posting it on the internet which was my saving grace idk like you said things are more of spectrum and have more nuance than the internet allows for.

yeah like if matty doesn't want to be called a n*zi he probably shouldn't be throwin' the arm up like that but also if you see the people he surrounds himself with you can infer he's probs not about to go full HH right wing militia. except some of the discourse makes it sound like he is???? and it's like why are we having such rapid escalations now?

also YES like one time five-ish years ago my bf accidentally misgendered someone and like a group of people unloaded the chopper on him glrjageijajhh. like yes he was defs using the wrong pronouns and should have been corrected but it rapidly went from 'tolerance and acceptance 😌' to 'ah yes another hetero transphobe.' not that everyone needs to be on their 'assume positive intent' bullshit 24/7 but SO much of this n*zi-hunt shit could be avoided if people took a moment to examine the entire situation before labeling someone. like besties im sorry but if we're gonna put matty healy, nick fuentes, and hitler on the same level then we might have a problem

(also like entirely unrelated but i dont think kanye is truly on that level either and instead espouses that shit because he is in a mental health crisis BUT again i do not know these people so maybe he really is!!!! idk!!!!!) (i do think kanye is stupid and easily influenced and genuinely holds right-wing beliefs tho just to clear that up)

society doesn't have a 'bad things' spectrum anymore (if it even ever did)!!!

[so-and-sos-blog]

Thank you for explaining so clearly. People never really seem to talk about this and I was wondering if there was something I’m missing.

It sounds great and everyone should accept it, honestly. You never have to call someone a nickname, and nobody would think you’re a bad person if you don’t, especially if it’s comparatively hard or distasteful to say. And you might want to use their real name and pronouns if you want outsiders to understand, but you have the right to choose what words to say. We can do whatever we want forever. I still kinda don’t like it, but who cares what I think?

Here’s the easiest explanation I have for why people struggle with “pronouns that don’t make sense”:

Pronouns are not nicknames. They’re words.

Not only that, they’re grammatical words, or function words. Saying a pronoun is not like saying a shorter informal name that someone made up. Saying a pronoun is like saying nothing, yet magically conveying “I don’t have to say anything here except indicate the part of speech and maybe gender, because you can infer the rest”. That is only true because we all know how to say and hear all of them effortlessly.

And because they’re words, they have agreed-upon meanings. And unlike nicknames, there’s no general type of context that makes them appropriate or not. As far as any normal conversation is concerned, to call a woman “he” is to claim that she’s a man. To call a non-binary person “she” is to claim that they’re a woman. If you misgender someone on purpose, it generally means that either you’re an asshole making a childish insult, or you subscribe to one of a few dangerous ideologies that claims that you actually gendered them correctly - either way, it’s a sign that any good person should stay the fuck away from you.

So when someone says “my pronouns are he/him” or “my pronouns are <some neoprouns>”, it’s pretty reasonable that people without this context will think they mean “these are uniquely the real third-person pronouns in the English language that correctly refer to me, which everyone should agree on, and if you disagree, or call me any other third-person pronouns, or imply that there’s any reason not to call me these pronouns, then I’ll assume you’re a bigot”. Because in our existing culture, that’s what it means to declare that pronouns are your pronouns - or at least pronouns “that make sense”.

If this post sounds kinda passive-aggressive at all then I apologize, but it’s because honestly my anxiety still half-expects you to say that this actually is what you meant and that I’m going to get dogpiled for writing all this.

easiest explanation i have for pronouns that "don't make sense" (neopronouns, he/him lesbians, etc) is that a person's pronouns are basically just a nickname we use for that person so we don't have to constantly say their name when talking about them. a person's pronouns also tend to have an association tied to them, which is usually an indication of their gender. that said, much like how your nickname can mean whatever you want it to mean, your pronouns can mean whatever you want them to mean. and, with enough practice, if you can remember that someone has a nickname, you can also probably remember their pronouns too (no matter what they are)

[rifki16]

Tadaima, Okaeri Episode Three

Photo credit: Tadaima, Okaeri episode three Twitter promotional account.

This episode was really something else. It was full of a lot of topics which I don't know about in the omegaverse, but it's also filled with our real-life problems that they handled quite well.

I'll try my best not to prolong this reaction essay like I have for my live-action essays, but as this episode was quite hefty, I need to make an exception

Masaki's identity

I really didn't know that omegas could be birthed from non-omega parents. Hiromu's quote was, I'm paraphrasing here.

Masaki's parents were not omegas,... they still apologize to him for birthing him as an omega.

It's a new mechanics of the universe which I didn't know before. My impression was that, if you are "holding" your lineage and "blood" pure, wouldn't making your marriages only within your secondary-sexual identity kind not that urgent? I mean, two alphas then can make an omega right? Again, I have not read the manga, so I don't know whether this inference is correct or not.

Fujiyoshi-san

I don't know how he really perceived omegas. To be quite frank, he reminds me of many neo-fascists. When he said to Ma-chan, something to the effect of

I respect omegas... It's just that you two live in different worlds. It's much better if the two of you live separately.

On Twitter, I labeled him as an "anti-omega/segregationist". He is a segregationist, that's for sure. but I think he really does hold some archaic perception of how omegas should behave and act. I think my label of him being an anti-omega stands. However, this description was before the apology scene.

I was surprised that the anime actually brought up the question of abortion. It is such a fuel, in my opinion, to the anti-choice movement in Japan as to how Fujiyoshi-san casually brought up abortion to Masaki.

It's better that you break up with Hiromu... as for the child, it's better off for it not to be born.

Right now, in Japan, abortion is by law is illegal. It can however be legal before 22 weeks for the age of the fetus for the concerns of the gestating person's health, economic hardship, or rape, WP article . And as the article has said, it even still needs the husband's consent.

I'm going to type this carefully, I think the anime can focus a little bit on how Masaki eventually keeps his son, right after the horrible conversation that he just had with Fujiyoshi-san. I think the focus is needed so that there is no impression that somehow, the husband's blessing requirement of the abortion de facto regulations in Japan is a thing to be tolerated. The screenwriters can make a sort of monologue about how Masaki is bonded already with the fetus inside him and genuinely wants to keep the baby, and the monologue can then be added by a conversation that he can have with Hiromu.

I don't think that they're going to add another backstory to the anime, I think they're moving ahead with other, much lighter, problems I think.

I don't know whether it's the official translation or not, but when Fujiyoshi-san came again to the house and met Hiromu, Fujiyoshi-san seemed to call Masaki, Hiroku's mother. If the translation is correct, why is Fujiyoshi-san misgendering Masaki? Is this just a way that people call the parental care figure who stays at home? But even Masaki called himself, "househusband" in the pilot episode, denoting that the universe there still calls a man who stays at his house taking care of domestic problems as a "husband".

To be quite frank, when Fujiyoshi-san bowed and asked for an apology from Hikaru, I was really moved by the scene. However, I really don't think that his motive was to really acknowledge his faults. I think the primary drive for him to apologize was the fact that his lineage can only be continued through his estranged son who married outside of his secondary sexual identity clan. However, again, I don't know how the story goes, I hope that Masaki's pure and positive thoughts about Fujiyashi-san are correct.

Okay, now that all of the brain itches away, I also have a lot of fun things about the show that I'd like to share.

I'm a bit puzzled that a toddler was so adamant in protecting his dads. I thought that maybe it was just a way that he loves his parents and that's how he shows it. But when Fujiyoshi-san said that Hikari was an alpha. I thought that maybe, it's just how he programmed as one? I really don't know whether alphas are more aggressive than betas or omegas.

Masaki's monologue about wanting to meet Fujiyoshi-san properly was very tear-jerking. Cried so hard. I really hope that I can find a husband who will love me proudly against any adversaries we might have.

I was laughing while crying lol when I found out that Matsuo was supposed to marry Hiromu, haha, according to Fujiyashi-san. I was surprised that Fujiyashi-san was ok with his son marrying a man, of course, a man who could get pregnant. But, I really thought that the most preferred sexual pairing in the omegaverse is a). within your secondary sexual identity clan, b). man and woman. Although I'm not sure about my inference on Fujiyashi-san's attitude.

I blushed so redly when Hiromu said that Masaki was his destiny. haha. I don't believe in "fate". But I envy Hiromu's determination.

Matsuo and Yuki are heating up hehe. I see in the opening intro that they're going to be together, so I can't wait how Matsuo is going to court Yuki. And how the alpha-beta pairing is seen in their universe.

ALSO !!!! MASAKIII CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR SECOND BABY <3 SO happy for you gurl!!! may the second child be a blessing by <3

All in all, watch the third episode yall, it's so good.

[vamptastic]

Don't know if I'm putting this right but a lot of people seem to see the whole transandrophobia thing as like, an argument that trans men are oppressed because we're men alá mens rights, and then infer a bunch of other stuff around that wrt trans women and perceive it as an attack on the notion of transmisogyny. And I think it's really more of just a way of trying to explain that we are subject to misogyny without being accused of misgendering ourselves or aligning ourselves rhetorically with arguments of sex-based oppression. Which seems like, fine. Worst I can say is there's a lot of cases of someone making a point I agree with in dumbest way possible in that movement and the definition is too vague for me to say "yeah I am a part of this". But I am somewhat invested in yk, the day to day horrors and indignities of my life as a trans person being recognized and addressed, no matter what name you put on it.

[waterolivecoffiyeh]

Replying to Puppyluver256

Well, I see I finally have your attention. @puppyluver256

You'll have to excuse me if I couldn't reply sooner given the waterfall of word vomit I had to slog through for anything relevant. It was incredibly hard to pinpoint your actual response when you're simultaneously rambling about everything and nothing at all.

Additionally, it's hilarious that you think sprinkling random videos into your reply makes your points more valid. If anything, it just makes you look like you can't formulate a proper rebuttal without turning this into a dumb meme. Way to demonstrate how little you actually care about the topic.

But since you’ve decided to finally acknowledge what I’ve written, I will address everything you wrote, irrelevant as some topics may be and unlike you, I will not be lazy and ”skim through”. If I don’t cover a specific thing, it’s because I’ve either already stated my opinion elsewhere or I didn't care enough to discuss it.

And by the way? Confessing that you just skimmed through my blog shows me you still don’t understand a single word of what I’ve been saying as your response is so tactless, disorganized, and rife with paranoia.

Oh, and if you’re going to be "using my words" actually take time to read what I said vs "what you remember”. In fact, here's a link. Anyone who's reading this post can see exactly what I said. I'd have added a quote to this post but my response to you is already far too long and my old post is possibly even longer.

But I’ve stalled enough. Let’s comb through this mess together, shall we? Do try, and extend the same courtesy I’m giving you by actually reading my reply this time. Perhaps you will learn something.

Firstly, I’m going to get this out of the way since it really stuck in your craw: The misgendering.

1. You have not been going exclusively by they/them pronouns for years. I had been a follower for years prior to my departure and even when I returned when this whole debacle started, you still had she/they listed as your preferred pronouns on your blog and on other socials. You had she/they up for years. It was only within the past two weeks you made the switch (at the time of this post’s original upload). 2. I've paid enough attention to you to know this was a recent change, so if my older posts still say "she" that's because you still had female pronouns displayed on your blog at the time they were originally written. Trying to retroactively accuse me of transphobia is completely disingenuous. 3. Furthermore, if you wanted to be known exclusively by they/them you should have nixed the "she" stuff long ago. Additionally, my recent post doesn't even use "she" so stop trying to rage-bait anyone reading this with the narrative of me being transphobic. I'm LGBT+ too and frankly, I’m disappointed someone who’s in the same community would stoop to such a level.

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let's get right to the heart of things: Addressing the holes that make your argument about Israel VS Palestine null and void.

I’m going to straight out call you a liar about you having known about Palestine for 20+ years.

1. If that was truly the case it would infer you knew how sensitive this subject was the entire time and still choose to believe your own interpretations of events instead of the actual facts. 2. You wouldn't have worded your so-called "freeverse" poetry so vaguely at a time when news of the genocide was breaking. Yes, you could have still said you felt helpless, but you chose to spin the current news of Israel vs Palestinian as a consequence of religious dogma, which it is not (more on this point further down). 3. Your “freeverse" poetry is nothing more than a bunch of melancholy platitudes where you lament your ineffectiveness and wail "Oh, woe is me! Won’t someone please comfort poor little me?” Frankly, that's the majority of your posts. They have always been tiny soapboxes for you to stand on to whinge and whine about how a specific situation affects you selfishly, treating your personal discomfort as more important than any actual victims of said situation. 4. This claim you care too much? It's a load of BS. You’re insincere to others and lying to yourself. If you truly did care, you'd take a hot second to actually read my blog. Leaving the poem up is just you not wanting to admit it's tone-deaf and a poorly uneducated take. If you truly learned anything you would have either removed it or added an addendum about why it was harmful, but you don’t want to do either because then it would draw more attention to you and you might actually be held accountable for something for once. 5. All of the posts that I archived coincide with dates of big news coming out of Palestine and they are either passive-aggressive or purposefully vague. I told you before whatever you're complaining about you're not the least bit subtle. If you didn't want people to scrutinize what you wrote, you wouldn't post certain things online and quietly keep your certain thoughts to yourself. 6. Don't use the excuse of "Well it's my blog!" to dodge accountability. When you use social media like a personal journal, everyone can see your opinions and since this is SOCIAL MEDIA, emphasis on the word “social”, anyone can respond. It's like reading your diary out loud to strangers in a crowded room. Everyone can hear you and they may have an opinion about what you wrote and it may not be what you want to hear. People can and will call you out. You are not free from criticism or rebuttal just because it’s a personal opinion. Consequence free speech does not exist. The moment you open your mouth, you are opening yourself up to a response from someone else be it positive, negative, or neutral. Trying to hide behind a shield of “Don’t reply to me! This is my personal space!” makes you appear weak in conviction. 7. Touting your atheism and your “secular humanism” as if makes you intellectually superior or more empathetic is self-aggrandizing and frustrating to watch. Pretending to be more intelligent because you don’t believe in God does not make you better than those who hold faith in their hearts. Playing this role as the untouchable enlightened who has seen the truth unlike the “masses of ignorant sheep” who believe in a higher power is what egotistical jackasses do and it’s a bad look. You’re every bit the Strawman archetype for the “Insufferable Atheist”. You’re almost at parody levels of cliché.

Just look at this paragraph you wrote without a shred of irony:

“I may be an atheist, but more importantly I am a secular humanist, and before knowing the latter term and taking on that label I was still an atheist even at the time, so the religious argument of “god gave them that land, they own that land” would never have worked on me the way it seems to with so many people. And tbh I don’t even know if that’s an argument that the Israeli government themselves put forward (it’s a terrible argument no matter who put it forward), but I do know that Christian fundamentalist extremists say things like that in their push for “god’s people” to return to "their god-ordained homeland” so they (the Christian extremists, I mean, just so we don’t get confused here) can try to usher in the end of the world based on the drug trip of a final volume in their bizarre storybook and no I am not kidding that is literally what they believe.”

Way to give yourself a pat on the back for a way of thinking millions of other people also share. You’re not the only atheist living in the Bible Belt. You’re not that special or unique.

If you were knowledgeable about the conflict in the Middle East you would speak from the socio-political perspective and not reduce this tragedy to a simple religious war (as if those too aren’t also extremely nuanced and complicated). Do you want to know how I know this? You contradict yourself in the very next paragraph:

”You must inform anyone you come across of this travesty. You must not let them look away either. But the suffering will continue regardless. They are all convinced they are in the right, all fighting for the will of a god that they will never confirm to be real, in fact the same god in wildly different interpretations. All the while, the innocents caught in the crossfire will continue to die, glorified in the disgusting “honor” known as martyrdom."

…Do you not see the irony here?

Tell me you didn’t imply this is situation is a religious war right there. Your words alone are tell me you believe it's solely religiously motivated and nothing more.

Let me tell you something. It's not.

The genocide of Palestinians can be rooted in the fact that Israel is basically an illegal colonization and occupation of land. People were forced to leave their homes, losing them in the process and then having Israel settlers move in and take over. Anyone with half a brain and a lick of common sense knows for a fact that Israel is trying to kill off the natives to take this land. Don't you dare blame the Palestinians! Most of us do not blame the Jews or the Muslims for this conflict.

Also? "Crossfire?" Please enlighten me where the crossfire is because most of the time it's Israel causing the destruction and killing. There is no crossfire when the Palestinians are the intended targets. Or are you gonna bring out Hamas as another excuse for calling it a crossfire…if you even know who or what Hamas is.

And the most insulting thing of all is that you sit, comfy and safe thousands of miles away from the horror of this reality, blaming both sides simply because they have faith in the same kind of God. Their religious texts may not be the same as the Christian fundamentalist extremists but they have the same roots. Calling any religious text a “bizarre storybook” is a disgusting insult. For someone who claims to be a “secular humanist” you seem to lack a core component of humanity. Your inference that if only both sides dropped their beliefs and chose logic & reason over faith & God, the blinders would fall off and they would instantly come to their senses, stop fighting, and be at peace.

That is not how real life works.

Religion is not the end all be all seed of all evil that sows discord all over the globe and it’s repulsive you believe it could ever be that simple. Even if EVERYONE in the Middle East adopted your perspective, there would still be pain and suffering. It would still be a genocide in that region. You have a lot of audacity to reduce this down to such a trifling matter, much less say and believe it.

You think you’re the smartest person in the room because you can’t be “fooled” into believing in God? In reality, you’ve shown your ass to the world with how callous and apathetic you are. And I’m not interested in your grandstanding of how decent you are.

And if you want to continue to deny it? Look at your own damn tags:

Side note? You should take the advice listed and grab a snack and a drink because we’ve barely scratched the surface. We’re going to talk about your justifications and excuses for why you can’t handle this news (Spoiler: none of them are valid).

“This is something that is not going to surprise anyone who knows me to hear: I have the emotional constitution of an improperly set flan.”

Tell me something I don’t know. In fact, how about you tell me how you’ve made it to your age without learning how to strike the proper balance between staying informed and not being burnt out from information overload.

You claim you want to hide from “the horrors of the world while online for the sake of your own sanity”. I have some very bad news for you: that environment no longer exists. The internet is no longer a niche little ecosystem that only a few people have access too. Everyone and their mother has a Facebook, a Twitter, an Instagram, etc. and that includes news organizations and major corporations. These days information travels faster. We live in a world where we can get live updates happening in real time which is absolutely paramount when so much news is actually being censored. But I’ll go over that later. I want to focus on this part specifically:

“Every single post about it, tweet about it, insertion into a video I was watching that gave no prior indication it would even remotely talk about it, it kept breaking my heart little by little, especially as I could do nothing to help and the charged language of everything was written to basically shame anyone who didn’t do anything regardless of whether or not they were actually capable of doing so.”

Of course people are talking about this! Its major news that has a global impact on so many things especially your country! We are potentially about to get involved in another so-called “war” that will last 20+ years and cost trillions of dollars! There are people who still don’t know if their loved ones are alive or dead because they’re being held hostage by amoral monsters who will kill them without second thought. Everyone is afraid for the future. Try to step outside yourself for a few seconds and look at the big picture.

No one is asking you to donate everything you own, join all the boycotts, or get involved in every debate and discussion. You always had the ability to choose your level of engagement, even none at all. Yet what you fail to grasp time and time again is that if you want to have an opinion on Palestine, you have to stay informed. You can’t reject information because it upsets you and then turn around and state your opinions on said subject even vaguely. You can’t have it both ways.

And you can tell me till you’re blue in the face your “freeverse” poem and all those other posts were not about Palestine. I do not believe you. You are trying to sneakily weasel your way into the discussion in a way that prevents anyone from replying because the slightest pushback leaves you running scared, blocking to avoid any productive conversation.

Also? I just have to ask: Where are these pictures of dead bodies you’re talking about? I have been plugged into multiple news outlets and even some accounts right at the source and I have not seen even a fraction of this “gruesome injury and death” you speak of. You phrase it as if it’s just a 24/7 parade of gore to mentally scar you. You’re the one in control of what you see. No one is holding your eyes open as you oh so dramatically put it. The onus is on you to enforce your boundaries, which by the way, are for your protection not to correct or change everyone else’s behavior.

Don’t like what someone posts? Unfollow them.

Don’t like when a video starts talking about Israel vs Palestine? Skip ahead or close out.

Don’t want to read posts about it? Keep scrolling part.

Try to actually learn how to properly use the tools you have instead of complaining that total strangers who wouldn’t know you from Adam aren’t catering to your incredibly specific sensibilities. Maybe take a look at your block list and see if some of the things on there are really worth losing sleep over.

As for the rest of section 2?

“All of this on top of my more direct struggles–adjusting to a new house I never wanted to move to in a location I never wanted to even visit again.”

It’s been a year and half since you posted you were moving. You’re telling me you still haven’t adjusted to your new home?

“learning to care for a new dog and never getting enough time to get anything done as a result, constantly getting bitten by said dog”

You are seriously blaming your dog for contributing to your “heartache”? Really? That’s the level we’re at? Frankly? You don’t sound like a responsible pet owner either. You adopted that dog last September and you’re still struggling with training? In my opinion, you could benefit from spending even more time with him. Less opportunities to get mired in the news and decompress mentally.

“the brand new house constantly falling apart either due to shoddy workmanship or because of Dog”

Old houses need a lot more work but in general you need to follow basic upkeep so things continue to run smoothly. And if your dog is destroying things, he’s not getting the proper attention/training.

“never getting enough sleep anymore (admittedly through no one’s fault but my own)”

You are quite literally your own worst enemy.

“pulling my hair out over all this stress and then stressing out over that in a vicious cycle of bald”

If that is the case, you seriously need to seek help to figure out a proper way to manage your stress levels. It should never get this bad. However, everything else before it? The move? The house repairs? The dog? These are just the daily routines of everyday life. If this is the “worst” it gets then you’re already doing better than most. You should feel incredibly blessed you even have a home, a pet, and a living family. The Palestinians don’t even have the remains of their loved ones to properly bury. Try to keep things in perspective. It’ll keep you humble and grounded.

Now, shifting gears to things that are only tangentially related because you're incapable of staying focused on the main topic, your "Fandomazation of Tragedy" section is ridiculously over-bloated with random nonsense totally unrelated to my criticism but I will address it since you felt you had to include it. I’m only doing this because there is one specific paragraph that truly enrages me so I’ll cover that first.

1. I know and have seen people show support for Palestine via edits, gifs, cartoons, or game characters because that was what they felt they could do to show solidarity and support. And if not that, they are boosting other support posts.

You want to claim it's tasteless and wrong for people to make Fakémon for Palestine? I'll tell you what's truly tasteless. This right here:

“I’m sure you can gather what Fakemon is through context, fan-made Pokemon, something I’ve heavily gotten into myself via the Cantessy project and at least three planned future Fakemon projects, and have been following plenty of artists and collaborative creators in the field for years now.”

Using genocide as a springboard to plug your fanfics and art? This is NOT the time nor the place to promote your fan projects! There is ZERO reason this should have been included! How dare you try to siphon attention away from an actual genocide and turn it into an opportunity to get more attention, followers, and feedback. How dare you try to milk this for your gain. And finally, how dare you criticize people using art as a means to express viewpoints or work through the emotions associated because it intrudes on your precious little playground while you try to poach new followers. That's true hypocrisy right there.

2. Cartoons and game characters have been used to make political statements for years (WW2 shorts via Disney and Loony Toons anyone?) This is not a new trend. FREE HONG KONG was just a few years ago after the controversy with Blizzard siding with China. This sort of thing isn't new and it’s not going away.

Side note? I've seen you complain about seeing Palestinian stuff in Splatoon 3 plazas, yet at the very bottom of your response to me is a manta ray character with a watermelon design. You wouldn't be using that to support Palestine if you honestly believed using fandom in political talking points was so "wrong".

And since Pokémon is your favorite fandom judging by your recent fanart series, need I remind you that when PETA tried to take potshots at this franchise for promoting animal abuse, there was a slew of pushback from its fandom in the form of fanart? They openly mocked PETA for trying to push their agenda on a fantasy game and claimed Nintendo and Game Freak supported animal abuse. Does that count as “unsettling” to you because it brings in real-world issues to light-hearted media…or does this one get a pass because it aligns with your personal system of ideals?

3. People do this sort of fanart to come to terms with stressful situations or to show solidarity with others because if there is anything we all have in common it’s the cartoons we watch, the comics we read, and the video games we play. Fandoms cross international borders. Those artists who make pro-Palestine art do so to connect with others to say, “Hey, I see you. You’ve not been forgotten. We’re with you.” And maybe, just maybe, those things can provide a little bit of comfort and support for people trapped in the middle of this nightmare. God knows they deserve a moment of levity and solace.

That being said if that sort of thing really doesn’t gel with you, that’s fine. But you need to understand other people feel differently. Furthermore? There is still plenty of non-politicized fanart out there. Yet you get so worked up when you stumble across anyone who posts pro-Palestine related fanart in your wanderings that you obsess over it and then sulk for hours before going online and crying about how you can’t escape “The Current Bad Thing That’s Been Happening Lately”. It’s absolutely pathetic for someone your age to act this way.

Now that we’ve gotten all that out of the way, let’s get back on track: Your so-called "state of decision paralysis”.

That is a weak excuse for why you haven't do thing one to demonstrate your supposed support despite asserting it multiple times in your response. Saying you don't know what to boost? You don't know what's actual real vs fraudulent?

Well, Mx."I've known about the Palestinian conflict for 20+ years" you'd know if you were actually tuned into the issue, did a tiny bit of research to see which posts were gaining traction, checked their authenticity, or even followed Palestinians online. So yeah, that argument? It doesn’t track. And it’s contradictory too. For someone who claims to have over two decades of knowledge on this subject, you seem to know only two things: Jack and Shit.

1. Saying delving too deep into this subject would shut you down entirely? Apparently not since you had knowledge of this conflict before anyone else? You must be an oracle if you were able to see 20 years into the future! 2. Hesitant to donate because you’re weary of malicious scams? While understandable you can still find established charities like the UNRWA to provide relief or if you truly can’t spare the money, look into the backgrounds of those funds to see where the money is going so you can include links in your bio or boost posts that have them listed. 3. Can’t attend a protest? No one said it was required. I don’t know why you’re letting the charged language of more vocal or active supporters have so much influence over you like this. Can you really not weed out the impassioned from the manipulative? And don’t delude yourself into thinking getting arrested would have any impact on your parents. You’re over 18. You’d be responsible for you.

Oh but wait! The protests you are involved in are coincidental! Well, that balances out!

…I’m being sarcastic by the way if you can’t tell.

Saying you unknowingly have been joining the boycotts cause you avoided Starbucks/Walmart/McDonald's up until recently? That doesn't count if you weren't aware of the movement when it started, so stop trying to score brownie points from your followers.

The simple truth is you didn't want to boost anything because it didn’t fit the aesthetic of your blog so don't come online claiming you can't make a decision. I've said it before and I'll say it again: You only recently reblogged that one post to try and save face. If you truly cared about this situation then your blog would reflect that fact.

And now the last paragraph in section three and the entirety of section four: That I ”misrepresented your posts" and your issues with how people write "censor tags."

If you’re concerned about people misinterpreting your posts, you need to consider reviewing what you wrote before it goes up. With how much you complain over the news, anyone who watches you would assume you were making more digs at Palestine. And when you add that to the passive-aggressive posts you’ve already made, it's not hard to draw certain conclusions.

“I was being vague for the purposes of letting anyone fit in whatever thing they’d find upsetting and needing to filter, and that was deliberately taken as me dismissing a very specific travesty.”

Yeah. No. That does not line up with the timeline of breaking news and when you posted.

“In my case, I often times forget entirely to clear out my filters when I’m in a mindset to not need them anymore.”

Then why are you getting angry at being, in your own words, “tragedy-jump scared” when you’re the one who took the filters off in the first place? Why are you upset other people are still talking about an ongoing situation they want to know about instead of hiding themselves to protect your sensitive soul? And that leads me into the second paragraph…

Your complaint about how people misspell tags to get past the censors.

…I’m going to give you a quick crash course in Internet History because you either don't seem to understand the why: People wouldn't need to change the spelling of those tags if it wasn't being seen as something to already censor. The reason that type of "misspelling" began was because POCs were being censored for talking about their trauma and personal experiences by non-POCs. They became uncomfortable with POCs talking about racism, rape, suicide, gun violence, police brutality, abuse, drugs, alcohol. The POCs used purposeful misspellings so they could stop being harassed by non-POCs for making them uncomfortable or getting their stuff taken down. But before long, this practice migrated outside of Tumblr and has now been adapted by people who did not understand the original origin and it snowballed from there.

People like you always cry about how you hate seeing certain topics brought up but then turn around to complain about misspelled tags and how it trivializes serious subjects. People like you create these conditions and then act clueless about why it so. And why? Because you try to push your boundaries on other people to change their behavior instead of taking yourself out of the environment causing you stress. THAT is what true boundaries are.

However, tag censorship is your own personal pet peeve to deal with and I've wasted too much time on this tangent. It is seriously so hard to stay on message when you go off random topics unconnected to the core issue. Can’t help but feel that’s intentional to obscure things. I guess it works for you though. If you can’t counter an argument, just wear the other person down into giving up. Brevity must not be a word you’re unfamiliar with.

Too bad for you I’m actually willing to pick your response apart sentence by sentence so let’s get to the conclusion which for some reason is the longest section! I’m going to be jumping around a lot. Try to keep up.

1. I said earlier that Palestinian news is being suppressed as hell online here in the West. Getting news straight from the source is very important in situations like this. Suppression of information is detrimental to us as a whole so if people need to circumvent mass media censorship to tell the world what's really going on, so be it. I will stand in support of them. That will always matter more to me than the whims of advertisers or the lobbyists who have these companies in their pockets. Or in this specific case, the emotions of one sad blogger. 2. Just as I have the right to this information, you too have the right to burrow your head in the sand and remain blissfully unaware. You're an adult. You have the power to just close a tab or block anyone you wish. You have a lot of tools to curate your feed but you can’t do that and it’s not because its everywhere you look. It’s because if you truly cut yourself off, you’d have nothing of substance to say…not that you had much substance to begin with. You need a reason to complain. It helps you feel self-important. 3. The fact that a huge portion of your response was tangents about tag censorship, using fandom as a platform for political discussion, and retroactively joining boycotts demonstrates that you can't even give Palestine the attention it deserves, miring the issue with personal anecdotes or mindless prattle.

To put it bluntly, you're not someone who can have a mature conversation with me.

“You carefully made sure there was no way I would find your blog and your targeted harassment under normal circumstances–even with that one instance of you commenting directly on my post that led to me blocking you.”

The reason for this is right there in your very own words. I confronted you outright rather than trying to hide in your DM’s and you instantly block evaded me to avoid any further conversation. I had to resort to these backward measures of archiving because you cut all communication instantly. How can any effective communication be had when the other person chooses to run away rather than address the issue?

“You’d tagged all of your posts with tags you either knew or suspected I would have filtered via vanilla Tumblr so that I could not see it while logged in even if I unblocked you or told Tumblr to show me your blog despite my block, or perhaps you blocked me on that blog and Tumblr finally fixed the issue of blocked users being able to view the blogs of those that blocked them.”

Considering your block/filter list probably goes into the hundreds? I’m not surprised you couldn’t find me initially. And by the way, you’re still not blocked on my blog. You’re welcome to respond at any time. And unlike you, I won’t try to hide.

“Hell, I only found out about this in the first place from a mere google fluke, trying to make sure my own inattentiveness on a completely unrelated issue didn’t lead to someone doing exactly what you’ve done on that issue and just so happening to be on an incognito window while doing so.”

Gotta say that’s a hell of a coincidence. Also gotta say I don’t believe it for one damn second.

As far as I've witnessed, you’re extremely reactionary and simply unable to tolerate it when you get called out so don't try to hold me to a standard you yourself don't follow. I've seen how you interact with people who challenge you or disagree with you, including going out of your way to pester folks in their online space to provoke a reaction before you block evade, and then congratulate yourself as if you outwitted them and laugh "haha another hater”. This has always been about your attitude and your ignorance on subjects you don’t truly understand, putting your personal spin on things because of your own internal biases.

You’ve stated in your response that I’m guilty of harassment and running a smear campaign. I have to ask: What harassment? Pointing out your hypocrisy is not harassment. Informing other people of your true nature is not harassment. I’ve never used slurs or insults based on your identity. I’ve never doxxed you. I’ve never threatened to physically hurt you. Not liking someone is not harassment no matter how much it hurts your feelings.

If this was an actual smear campaign, why is it everything I’ve linked back to your blog still the same as when I first took the screencaps? If you consider sourced words with proper links a "smear campaign" that tells me you’re actually very afraid everything you’ve ever said coming back to bite you in the ass. This isn’t cruelty as you described. It’s pointing out all the holes in your arguments and letting your followers decide if they want to follow someone with such a judgmental view of the world.

“You don’t intend to make the world a better place by doing this, not in the slightest. No, instead you’ve just berated the “snowflake trigglypuff” for trying to keep their “safe space” intact, while painting that sentiment in the language of the social justice warrior you believe yourself to be rather than that of the crazy altright loser I believe (or at least hope) you’d find as repulsive as I do so that no one would clue in that that is in fact what you were doing.”

You really are projecting a lot.

Saying I’m co-opting the language of a social justice warrior? Suggesting I’m alt-right? You’re grasping at straws more than a choking sea turtle.

And calling yourself a “snowflake trigglypuff” even in jest? Who still uses edgy SJW terminology like this anymore? I think this says more about who you are than anything it could about me. I don’t need to reduce myself to dated insults like those. I can come up with far more effective wording to describe how callously ignorant you are.

“Clearly someone who thinks it’s in any way appropriate to tell someone, and I’m quoting mostly from memory as it’s been months, “I’m sure all those dead kids are glad you’re protecting your mental health” has NO sense of shame whatsoever. If I were to stoop to your level, I’d tell you that those same dead kids are probably really proud of you for harassing someone who has, at worst, made some tactless statements out of frustration.”

You are right about one thing, however. Those same “dead kids” don’t care about your mental health or about me calling you out. But this isn’t about those “dead kids”. It's about their families and friends who may still be alive. It’s about the other children who have been lucky enough to not been slaughtered. It’s about people who will suffer generational trauma and PTSD for the rest of their lives. It’s about the same people who may end up dying by their own hands because they can’t live in pain any longer. They’re the ones I’m concerned about.

The dead don’t care. The living do. The opposite of caring is not hatred. It’s indifference. And that’s why I’m speaking out against people like you who take the suffering of others and make it their platform to soliloquy about their first world hardships. So, to borrow a very old Tumblr-ism, I would check your privilege.

“I don’t believe for a second that you actually give two shits about the plight of the Palestinian people beyond some vague sense of "clout.”

Clout? Seriously? If I was interested in immaterial nonsense like that, do you think I’d be posting on Tumblr exclusively where things like “clout” don’t matter to anyone? No. I would be posting this everywhere to reach more people. The reason it’s only on Tumblr is because it’s where you primarily spend your time. It’s the only place you can be reached, where you can’t ignore me.

“I looked at your blog, its layout themed around the symbols of Palestinian liberation, and as far as I can tell it’s all just window dressing.”

And your poetry and posts are just soapboxes for you to puff yourself up or use as “cudgels”, as you say, to pester people into reading stories about your fan-made Pokémon region. Yet you want to accuse me of clout-chasing and using dead kids to bully you? Yeah. Okay. /s

Do you truly believe I’m doing this for attention? For some imaginary internet points to “win”? Win what exactly? What game do you believe we’re playing? There are no winners, only one loser talking out their ass.

Oh and as for this?

“Hell, with the vindictive nature of your blog, you’d think you'd’ve even had posts targeting other peoples who are at best trying to get on with their lives through the 24-hour news cycle of death and destruction or at worst actively supporting the deaths of innocents. (I still wouldn’t encourage such things, but it’d at least make sense given your general vibe).”

There’s nothing vindictive about cataloging these posts and making sure you can’t hide your judgmental nature behind that paper thin veneer of wholesomeness you try to fool people with. The reason I called you out specifically is because you’re a two-faced jackal. That’s the true core of my dislike of you: Presenting an image of niceness while hiding the vileness behind fluffy words and emotionally manipulative language to make people feel sorry for you.

You're not someone to support as an artist. Frankly, you're not a wholesome person either. You're judgmental, emotionally immature, and have a lot of issues, issues you couldn't even pay me to address. I don’t know what you need but it’s something well above my pay grade to diagnose.

And finally we’re going to close this disaster out by talking about your suspicions of my identity. I’m going to summarize because a lot of it is repetitive from earlier points or in the section itself.

You’ve identified me as “H” and for a short while believed I was someone called “A”. You believed that “A” was upset by you and took their frustration out on you, leading you to unfollow “A”. You later realized that wasn’t the case and are now referring to me as “H” (for Harasser). Clever.

I'm not “A” or “H” or any other letter of the alphabet. You’re just upset you don't know how else to address me because I’m smart enough to not leave so much of my personal details online. Whatever happened 4 years ago with whoever? That's not me. Try and not be so quick to assume before you start pointing fingers. You make yourself look paranoid. If you’ve got beef with other people, make sure you're addressing the right person at the least.

I already said multiple times I was a follower of yours and only called you out about the Palestinian stuff because I was appalled that someone I once saw as a good kind person morphed into a self-centered jackass who had no problem using a tragedy as a means to emotionally manipulate people into paying attention to them. If you don't believe me, that's on you. But if anyone uses this genocide as bait for their own little pity party, I'm not afraid to draw attention to it. And since you claimed to have known about the Palestinians for more than 20+ years, I’m holding you even more accountable to get it right and act gracefully.

“Maybe you’ve gone after more than just them, but these are the two I know of for certain. M told me directly, and I saw C’s post about getting an anon “warning” her about someone with an “anti-religion agenda”, and because I’m not a complete moron I could put two and two together because that’s the kind of bullshit religious people spread about atheists all the damn time.”

The only person talking about religion here is you. What I’m doing is pointing out how your animosity towards religion has given you a bias towards the Israel vs Palestine situation because you can’t see past the faith of people in that region. I merely pointed out your concerning behavior to your mutuals because “M” and “C” have the right to know your true character. Friends should not be complicit when one of them is acting poorly.

“Like I’ve said numerous times, I’d take a dozen progressive theists over one asshole atheist.”

Those same progressive theists? They want nothing to do with you. Not even other atheists would want you. You are the asshole atheist in this scenario because you are incapable of thinking critically and simply write off the whole genocide as religious zealots fighting over the Holy Land because God told them to. It always comes back to this. You keep making the genocide about martyrdom so it's easier to maintain your hatred of all things religion. “But you are no hero, nor am I a villain, and I would not be so gauche as to claim the reverse is true either. We’re just a couple of randos on the internet, one who has an unhealthy level of vitriol toward the until-recently clueless other.”

And finally, we come to the point where you try to appeal to my sense of empathy by a generic “we’re all people at the end of the day” sentimentality, going even so far as to say that you’d never claim I was the villain. You’re not going to placate me this way. Stop trying to minimize your actions and act like they are inconsequential. They’re the earmarks of a person with poor morale character. You asked what I hope to gain from doing this?

I want you to drop this façade and either do better or start being honest. You’re full of false sincerity and niceness, pretending to be the bigger person while also muttering your petty disdain for people who don’t think like you, like what you like, or share your exact beliefs. You hide it subtly in the way you write. You think you’re above reproach. You’re the judgmental rotten soul you see in everyone else.

The only reason you'll end up as a "Persona non grata" is because how you present yourself online will eventually catch up with you. At some point, everyone will grow tired of watching you spinning your wheels and gaining no traction anywhere. They will move on to something that's actually worth their time. But until then I will continue to warn others about you and show them your true personality. Take the advice you gave me: Fix yourself and do better or disappear into irrelevance and be forgotten.

PS:

“Whatever your goal was with that, it was your final mistake, because now I know exactly who you are.”

Your threat has no teeth. If you really knew who I was, you’d name me or you'd at least open up a conversation with me. But you won’t. You never will. You’ll continue to cower away while putting on a mask of confidence and arrogance, thinking you outsmarted me until the only one applauding you is yourself.

[heartshapedcreaturefromcriptoon]

Actual Anti’s with edited Hazbin Hotel Icons are literally popping up in my IM now ( A hypothetical, satirical reenactment) :

Tumblr User hazshithoepoop: Hi there! I use he/him/they/them pronouns! I saw some of your posts in the Anti Hazbin tags that you only use out of spite to prove a point. Would you like to have a MATURE discussion with me about how I personally think this thing you love is garbage and h e r e’ s  w h y? :)

Me:  https://heartshapedcreaturefromcriptoon.tumblr.com/post/615126231163322368/stop-putting-anti-neutral-because-you-know-not

Me: I don’t think that’s a very good idea.

Tumbr User hazshithoepoop: Well, as you can see by my own #hazsneezehachooboogers icon that I edited all by myself, I took the liberality of fixing Husk’s drinking problem by replacing his cheap booze with a bottle of root beer because I’m a recovering alcoholic and I personally think that if Vivziepoop knew that about me then blah blah blah blah blah blah the show would be much better. I use #trashbinhoesmell so that my rewrites and redesigns will get more notes. Now to pass my own moral judgement on your character that you didn’t ask for don’t worry. I had taken precaution before hand by thoroughly scrolling through your blog before engaging our  ~I N T E R A C T I O N~  in order to make certain that I wasn’t about to accidentally talk to some sort of ~F R E A K~ and I just want you to know that I don’t think you’re a bad person and I forgive you and I agree with your other posts that aren’t this absolute garbage fire shit show that you should learn to think more critically about because it’s hurting minorities and the animators are being abused and forced to draw unhealthy skinny stick figure people for a living and I just feel so sorry for them haha and you shouldn’t be okay with that ether heehee Vivzie just a peepeepoopoo writer it’s nothing personal. :)

Me: I really don’t appreciate this, man.

Tumblr User hazshithoepoop: Well thanks for misgendering me. Hazbin Hotel Fans are so disrespectful. I NEVER SAID YOU COULD CALL ME A MAN I’M NOT A MAN!

Me: Exactly? You never told me you weren’t? How would I know what to refer to you as then? Get the fuck out of my IMs, go back to school and leave me alone?

[dragynkeep]

Looks like caracal is having a breakdown. Also mistook you two as a couple again.

first off, luke is my brother, not my partner. we've said this multiple times on the blog. one you admit to hate stalking! so not only do you admit to hate stalking us, but you only left me alone after seeing a deeply transphobic post aimed at triggering me. even when you had also inferred i was a deeply fucked up person because i was sexually abused as a child?

do you want me to go into the graphic detail of what i went through, will that finally get it through your fucking thick, ugly, disgusting skull that you don't just get to throw survivor's traumas back in our face because of fictional ships you don't fucking like, you disgusting person.

also "even if the anon had a point", what point did they have? the original anon was all about invalidating me as a trans nonbinary person so what fucking point did they have? huh? speak quickly.

the post used she / her pronouns for me, not because i'm a trans man? but because i'm an afab nonbinary person which they had used against me, trying to say i was escaping misogyny by pretending not to be a woman just by the same way i was escaping being a rape survivor by "letting my fiance rape me & sexualizing it." shocker but not everything misgendering afabs is about trans men, get your head out of your ass. these were further posts to show it was about me.

https://atla-fandom-confessions.tumblr.com/post/676229246339956736/idc-about-whether-this-makes-me-a-radfem-but-im-so

https://atla-fandom-confessions.tumblr.com/post/674877172397293568/has-anyone-checked-to-see-if-luke-is-alive-would

https://atla-fandom-confessions.tumblr.com/post/674338759736688640/ironpines-is-that-weird-person-who-pretends-to-be

these people didn't even believe luke was real, let alone that he was my brother.

caracal, karma will get you & it will hurt. you don't stand for trans people or sexual abuse survivors, you are no better than the transphobes at the confessions blog & you are no ally to other trans people. you inserted yourself into a discourse that was never about you, misgendered me & then doubled down instead of owning up to your bullshit yet again.

you're fucking sick.