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redrobin-detective · 5 years

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Ugly Pictures are worth a Thousand Words

“Children, come here, it’s time for our family photo,” Professor Membrane said, his voice resounding through the house. “I promised your grandparents I’d show off my new green son.”

“We don’t have grandparents,” Gaz said, not looking up from her game but she did have a nice bow in her hair for the occasion.

“And I realized that you children were suffering for it so I got you some new grandparents, related in some way to your brother Junior,” Membrane said with a deep laugh. Gaz hummed and continued with her game. “Boy Child! Green Child! Your presence is being requested! And by requested I mean d̶̥e͢m̬̦̣͉̘͓a̫̤n͎̣͖͠ͅd̗̩͓̪̟̗͡e̛͖̠͔d̹͝ͅ ͕̯͕̗̀”

“Daaaaaaaaad,” Dib screamed, running down the stairs with his arms behind him like some sort of anime ninja. “I am telling you that Zim is an alien, I mean look he’s not even pretending any more.” He screeched, pointing over at Zim who wandered into the living room with his beady red eyes and absentmindedly scratching at one of his antennae while he slurped down a soda. “You have to see he’s an alien now.”

“Dib,” Membrane said in a way that was both gentle and chastising. “We’ve talked about this, just because someone looks different than us doesn’t mean we can call them aliens. I’m sure your brother came into this country perfectly legally.”

“Oh I did, surely, yes, so many magnificent forms,” Zim nodded before turning to Dib with a smug expression. “I decided that I shouldn’t have to hide myself from my BELOVED FAMILY so I did away with my contacts and wig while at home. Now I am free to just be my glorious, handsome self,” Zim explained, draping one arm over Gaz’s shoulder. She hissed and Zim yelped and recoiled back sharply.

“See? Nothing supernatural about it, I’m so happy you’re feeling more comfortable in your green skin, Junior,” Membrane said, patting Zim’s head. The alien preened.

“It’s Zim by the way, Ziiiiiiiiiiiiim,” the alien explained far more gently than he did with any other humans but no other humans petted him so fondly like Father Membrane did.

“I’m sorry son, your foreign name is too difficult for me to say and besides, Junior fits you best since you’re clearly blessed with my supreme intelligence,” Membrane explained, gathering the three children in front of him.

“It’s three letters, the same as these other filthy worm babies,” Zim continued but was ignored as Membrane hummed while straightening out Gaz’s bow and lifted Dib onto one of his shoulders. “Hey! Why does the Dib Brother get the honor of ascending to your lordly height?”

“Because your poor insane brother was hyperventilating and I thought maybe the improved air quality would do him good but fear not, Junior for I have two shoulders!” The professor said leaning down to pick up Zim placing him on the opposite shoulder.

“Dad! Don’t let him up here! He’s probably going to put alien mind warping parasites in your brain!” Dib hissed, leaning over his father’s shoulders to glare at his adopted brother.

“I would never disgrace my Lord Membrane Father by something so base as ear worms! He is worthy of at least some sort of hypnotic brain fungus,” Zim sneered back, batting away Dob’s hands.

“Boys, boys,” Membrane sighed, pulling them back and straightening them out on his shoulder. “We can all have fun debating Horrible Mind Control Methods once we take this picture. I know it’s difficult for siblings to get along, especially siblings with such different backgrounds but, as your father, I’d appreciate it if you two would cooperate just long enough to take a nice picture for your recently acquired grandparents.” Both Zim and Dib grumbled a bit in shame and turned away from the other.

“Zim will honor your request Tallest Father Sir”

“Yeah, yeah just take the stupid picture already”

“Marvelous, CameraBot900! Prepare to capture forever on film this darling picture of me and my three beautiful children. The world must see how perfect and beautiful they are, even if they are green or insane.” The floating camera was making funny faces to provoke smiles from the three children, none of whom actually smiled. “Hmm, perhaps we should get that strange green dog in the photo as well...”

GIR squealed as he raced down the chimney and opened his mouth to swallow the CameraBot. The poor machine wailed as it was swallowed whole and then became mercifully silent. The little robot let out a little burp. “That tasted like bananas.”

“Oh NO,” Membrane shouted, falling dramatically to his knees almost causing the two kids on his shoulder to topple off. “Now how will we have our special family photo? HOW??”

“It’s okay, I found this camera I was using to take pictures of my butt,” Gir said holding up a very worn and dented camera.

“Hey that’s MY camera, I’ve been using it to catalog all Zim’s alien activity!” Dib yelled while Zim nodded and chuckled under his breath.

“You have saved the day, chartreuse canine,” Membrane shouted, jumping back to his feet. “Please set the camera up and join us in this marvelous family photograph.”

“WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” GIR giggled pushing various buttons on the camera before running over and jumping into Gaz’s arms. The motion caused her to drop her game devious as she now had an armful of robot dog. Dib was shouting at Zim about controlling his alien menace and Zim was shouting back about how he wasn’t being sensitive to all of GIR’s needs. The camera clicked several times as the whole scene descended into chaos. Gaz was soon off chasing GIR who was running rampant through the house and the boys were out the front door, soon wrestling dramatically on the front yard.

Membrane sighed and went over to look at the photos. None were what you would call refined or even halfway decent. But he had discovered long ago that families, like science, are messy and oftentimes ugly. But just because something is ugly on the outside doesn’t mean it doesn’t still bring joy to those closest to the situation. He paused on one particular shot that was full of craziness and emotion and nonsense, in other words, it perfectly encapsulated his family.

“I believe this is the photograph that I will send to grandparents Red and Purple and an extra copy will adorn my desk,” he muttered proudly. Outside, Zim was shrieking in agony as Dib brought out the hose and Gaz was sitting on top of a squirming GIR as she resumed her game. Truly all was right in the world if the whole family could get together and take horrible, ugly photos.

#indaver zim #im back on my bullshit after one day #what do I call this? how about #Zim Membrane AU #sort of hinted but the grandparents are the Almighty Tallest #Membrane overheard Zim talking to them one night and assumed they were some sort of relative #all he has to do is reverse the signal of Zim's call to send them things #soon the Tallest will be innundated with adorable shots of the Membrane family in action #Zim Dib and Gaz all lined up in identical sailor suits #the kids at the water park while Zim is screeching like a howler monkey avoiding the water #Zim and Dib wrestling while Gaz watches with popcron #(a really sweet one of the three of them all cuddled asleep across Membranes lap with him doing a selfie)#the Tallest are baffled #they write back and ask for more pics #only to make fun of Zim and not because he looks inexplicably adorable in the cute outfits #Dad Membrane is happy to oblige

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