#incorrectgodfather

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Michael: Tom is German-Irish, which means he’s not Italian, so he’s really not a part of our family. Also, he’s an orphan so he’s really not a part of his family.

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Sonny: I stopped a murder today.

Vito: Great! How did you do that?

Sonny: Self-control.

Vito: ...

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After Fredo has his lunch stolen.

Tom: Okay, look you wanna hold onto your food? You gotta scare people off. I learned that living on the street.

Fredo: Really?! So, what would you say Tom? Stuff like uh, "Keep your mitts off my grub?"

Sonny: Say Fredo, when you picture Tom living on the street, is he surrounded by the entire cast of Annie?

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Sonny to Tom: You consider me a sexy man, right?

Tom: I don't know to answer that question.

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Sollozzo (The Turk): I tried to talk to the Corleones and be their friend.  But that is like trying to be friends with evil snails.

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Carlo Rizzo: “I have never taken the high road. But I tell other people to ‘cause then there’s more room for me on the low road.”

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Luca Brasi: “We can go to my apartment. No one knows where I live.” Clemenza: “I thought you had the Don over there once.” Luca Brasi: “Yeah, it was fun. I moved the next day.”

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Johnny:  Halloween is stupid. Dressing up, pretending to be someone you’re not.”

Don Corleone: You’re an actor????

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Sonny: “It’s never taken me a week to get over a relationship.” Connie: “It’s never taken you more than a shower to get over a relationship.”

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At a furniture store

Tom: “No, no, we’re not together. We’re not a couple — we’re definitely not a couple.” Saleswoman: “Oh, sorry.” Sonny: “Wow, you, uh, you seem pretty insulted by that. What, I’m not good enough for you?” Tom: “We’re not gonna have this conversation. Again.”

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Michael: “You don’t think sharks are sexy, do you?” Sonny: “No. Wait, a minute…What was the Little Mermaid?”

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Young! Connie whenever something bad happens

Connie: “I’m just going to wander around in the rain.” Mama Corleone: “Uhh… it’s not raining.” Connie: “I can’t catch a break!”

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Genco: “I’m not so good with the sarcastic comment. Can I interest you in some advice?

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Apollonia: “When you’re a kid, you assume your parents are soulmates. My kids are going to be right about that.” 

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Sonny: “So, we broke a rule.” Fredo: “Yeah. Hope it wasn’t a mistake.” Sonny: “Hope it wasn’t a mistake. Title of your sex tape!

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Tom: “Hello? Did you not read F. Scott Fitzgerald in high school?” Sonny: “No, I had sex in high school.”