#incorrect selfship quotes

[sshoujo-ais]

platonic f/o: look me in the eyes and tell me you're not in love with s/i romantic f/o: *looking lovingly at s/i across the room* romantic f/o: i'm not in love with s/i platonic f/o: that was not anywhere near my eyes

[selfshipdork]

Random character: “Not a single one of those dumb kids has gotten hurt yet!”

Parental f/o: “Dumb kids?”

[They turn, seeing s/i and their platonic/sibling f/os doing something reckless]

Parental f/o: “Wait… THOSE ARE MY DUMB KIDS!”

source: The Owl House

[zombieplaguedoc]

Estonia: *does something on the computer just as his brother in law Jerome walks in* Alright, my account is almost complete, now I just need to think of a password.

Jerome:

Jerome: *smashes keyboard a few times*

*Your password is now strong enough*

Estonia:

Estonia: That works too.

[selfship-quotes]

F/O: *turns on the kitchen light*

S/I: *sitting at the table, eating bread*

F/O: It’s four in the morning.

S/I: Turn the light back off.

[kay-selfships]

daily reminder that your faves do love you i know cause they told me themselves hehe <33

[angelthedrummer]

Celebrity or Royal F/O: I won’t date a fan. Too many of them are crazy obsessed weirdos who you could never have a real relationship with.

S/I: *Walks into the room*

Celebrity or Royal F/O: *Blushes* Okay, with ONE exception.

[l0v3sickl0s3r]

s/i: hey f/o, i made us some friendship bracelets!

f/o: oh. well i’m not really a jewelry person…

s/i: you don’t have to wear it.

f/o: no i’m gonna wear it forever fuck off

proship dni >:(

[demonlattee]

Oh, you silly— 🐍

[rosieshipper]

Stan: *picking up a toy phone* I’m gonna call the bogeyman

Rose: *trying to grab the phone from him while he’s dialing the numbers* No no! Call Santa!

Stan: I’m not calling Santa, I’m calling the boogeyman. Yeah eat her toes cause she’s bad

Rose: Noooo I’ve been good

Stan: Yeah. Take her fingers and toes

Rose: *starts wailing*

Ford: Really, Stanley? Must you torment her?

Stan: What? It was funny!

Tags: @astralshipper @arickaandherfictionalothers @shibasparklez @wolfofthedead

[bittersweet-n-smilin]

Romantic F/O, catching S/I napping on the couch: They look so peaceful, like an angel.

Sibling F/O, reading in the corner: Yeah, Lucifer maybe.

[platonic-fo-quotes]

S/I, T-posing in the doorway: Greetings, [familial f/o].

Familial f/o, not looking up from their coffee: Good morning, problem child.

[selfshipping-haven]

S/I: I don't know if I can take a nap here. There's no lumbar support.

F/O: Then get off of my lap.

S/I: Never.

[zombieplaguedoc]

2p America: Hey dad?

Davy Jones: Aye?

Me: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it's still on?

Davy Jones:

Davy Jones: Where's Hawaii?

BONUS VERSION:

Hawaii: Hey Aunt Alcina?

Lady Dimitrescu: Yes?

Me: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it's still on?

Lady Dimitrescu:

Lady Dimitrescu: Where's Alaska?

[selfship-quotes]

F/O, trying to flirt: So, you come around here often?

S/I, confused: I mean, this is my house, so yeah.

[daily-selfship-questions]

Which of your F/O(s) are the type to ask "Does the cheeseburger come with only cheese or does it have meat on it too?"

[angelthedrummer]

F/O: S/I, please go to bed a bit earlier tonight. I don’t want you to lose any sleep.

S/I: Awe, alright! I’ll see you tomorrow.

F/O: Stays up until 4:00 AM doing whatever it is they do