#incorrect sdv quotes

[incorrect-stardew-quotes]

[sdv-iq]

Alex: I need a doctor’s appointment

Maru: Okay, does 10 tomorrow work?

Alex: No, I don’t need that many

[deluzionalfantisea]

Sam: You fucking chainsmoker

Sebastian: Ew I don’t like that band

Abigail: No this is an intervention

Sebastian: For the chainsmokers? Yeah you should intervene with their shit music

[iwouldmovetostardewvalley]

Farmer: "I will now torture you." Shane: "Kinky." Farmer: "I think you are sweet and beautiful." Shane: "Wait." Farmer: "You deserve to be cared for as much as you care for others." Shane: "No." Farmer: "Your feelings and needs are valid and deserve to be heard." Shane: "I need a safeword!"

[sam-himbocanons]

seb: sometimes i like to put random things in sam's food and see if he notices seb: you wouldn't believe the shit he eats anyway

-

seb: i got a burrito for you sam: oh thanks! sam: *bites off a chunk of creamy nut butter and beef* what woul' i do wifout you shebby this is delicioush seb: want some juice with that? sam: sure! wow you're so kind today seb *slurps suspiciously chunky orange juice* sam: if i didn't know any better i would think you're up to something! sam: wait sam: these aren't poisoned or anything right?

-

*horrendous noises coming from sam's bathroom* abby: excuse me why is sam shitting out of both ends seb: must've been something he ate :)

[bookishnewt]

The Farmer: I would do anything for money.

*later*

The Farmer, covered in blood: THE STATEMENT STILL STANDS!

———————

Who’s blood is it? You decide.

[marce-mallow]

Alex: I just saw two primary school kids in a fistfight, so obviously I had to step in.

Penny: Oh, good for y—

Alex: They didn’t stand a chance >:]

[theambivalentagender]

Emily: Are you the big spoon or little spoon?

Shane: I’m a knife

Farmer, from the pool table: He’s the little spoon

[timdrakesbussy]

[intotheseas]

more of Sebastian being a mood

[incorrect-stardew-quotes]

Alex: What are your pronouns?

Farmer: They/them. Why?

Alex: Oh, thanks. I'm gonna go home and complain about you later and I don't wanna get it wrong.

[theambivalentagender]

We don't get enough of the JojaCo coworkers.

[sdv-iq]

Pierre: So let me get this straight-

Sam: More like let me run this bi you

Abigail: Let’s see how this pans out

Sebastian: Let me ace-ess the situation

The Farmer: I’m gay

[ryliith]

It's all Joja's fault !

[iwouldmovetostardewvalley]

Farmer: "Look, I just need to know how to get out of the sewers."

Krobus: "There is no way out!"

Farmer: "*Gasp!*"

Krobus: "Just kidding. The door's right over there."

[sam-himbocanons]

middle school conversations

sam: boobies are awesome seb: agreed sam: you agree??? seb: um yeah? birds are cool abby: he's talking about tits dumdum seb: tit birds are cool too??? am i missing something