#incorrect sdv quotes
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incorrect-stardew-quotes · 7 months ago
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sdv-iq · 6 months ago
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Alex: I need a doctor’s appointment
Maru: Okay, does 10 tomorrow work?
Alex: No, I don’t need that many
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deluzionalfantisea · 11 months ago
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Sam: You fucking chainsmoker
Sebastian: Ew I don’t like that band
Abigail: No this is an intervention
Sebastian: For the chainsmokers? Yeah you should intervene with their shit music
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Farmer: "I will now torture you." Shane: "Kinky." Farmer: "I think you are sweet and beautiful." Shane: "Wait." Farmer: "You deserve to be cared for as much as you care for others." Shane: "No." Farmer: "Your feelings and needs are valid and deserve to be heard." Shane: "I need a safeword!"
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sam-himbocanons · 2 years ago
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seb: sometimes i like to put random things in sam's food and see if he notices seb: you wouldn't believe the shit he eats anyway
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seb: i got a burrito for you sam: oh thanks! sam: *bites off a chunk of creamy nut butter and beef* what woul' i do wifout you shebby this is delicioush seb: want some juice with that? sam: sure! wow you're so kind today seb *slurps suspiciously chunky orange juice* sam: if i didn't know any better i would think you're up to something! sam: wait sam: these aren't poisoned or anything right?
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*horrendous noises coming from sam's bathroom* abby: excuse me why is sam shitting out of both ends seb: must've been something he ate :)
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bookishnewt · 2 years ago
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The Farmer: I would do anything for money.
*later*
The Farmer, covered in blood: THE STATEMENT STILL STANDS!
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Who’s blood is it? You decide.
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marce-mallow · 2 years ago
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Alex: I just saw two primary school kids in a fistfight, so obviously I had to step in.
Penny: Oh, good for y—
Alex: They didn’t stand a chance >:]
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theambivalentagender · 1 year ago
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Emily: Are you the big spoon or little spoon?
Shane: I’m a knife
Farmer, from the pool table: He’s the little spoon
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timdrakesbussy · 4 months ago
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ryliith · 4 months ago
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It's all Joja's fault !
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incorrect-stardew-quotes · 8 months ago
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Alex: What are your pronouns?
Farmer: They/them. Why?
Alex: Oh, thanks. I'm gonna go home and complain about you later and I don't wanna get it wrong.
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theambivalentagender · 1 year ago
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We don't get enough of the JojaCo coworkers.
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sdv-iq · 1 year ago
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Pierre: So let me get this straight-
Sam: More like let me run this bi you
Abigail: Let’s see how this pans out
Sebastian: Let me ace-ess the situation
The Farmer: I’m gay
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terrifiedscarecrow · 3 months ago
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these were revealed to me in my delusions
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iwouldmovetostardewvalley · 2 years ago
Conversation
Farmer: "Look, I just need to know how to get out of the sewers."
Krobus: "There is no way out!"
Farmer: "*Gasp!*"
Krobus: "Just kidding. The door's right over there."
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sam-himbocanons · 2 years ago
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middle school conversations
sam: boobies are awesome seb: agreed sam: you agree??? seb: um yeah? birds are cool abby: he's talking about tits dumdum seb: tit birds are cool too??? am i missing something
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