#incorrect roy harper

[ivysangel]

expanding on this post except it's where dick, roy, jason, and wally fall in the frat ranking and why (this is just for fun, don't take it too seriously)

DICK

is ranked number one every year until he graduates (duh) because he's a borderline nympho and can't go a single night without getting his dick wet

pledges aspire to be him but he's seriously contemplated attending a sex addicts anonymous meeting because he skipped half his classes last semester to fuck girls on greek row and his grades suffered

has a collection of underwear he steals from girls to keep as trophies and had to change the spot where he keeps them because one of his frat brothers found them and went around the house telling everyone that dick wore women's panties

fucked that guys ex to spite him and got away with it because he's super hot and also the frat president (defintely a legacy pledge too)

has told girls "i love you" and "you're the only one for me" to get in their pants and has either ghosted or messaged them "it's not you, it's me" immediately after leaving their dorm

there are multiple hate posts about him in the gotham university subreddit and all of the upvotes are from girls he’s fucked

ROY

ranked in the lower half of the top 10 but is on a mission to break top 5

gets a lot of play just from being hot but also keeps a list of girls dick rejects so he can be the first to console them and subsequently get in their pants, has "i can make you feel better"ed his way into many hook ups

has a thing for girls with dark hair who play hard to get and has unironically sent to the frat group chat "i need a goth bitch in my life"

scared away multiple girls by wanting to fuck them in the ass and always follows it up with "aw come on??? it was a joke!" even though it's not a joke

came too fast once as a freshman and got nicknamed speedy

is still bitter about it and sometimes sends to the gc "lasted 2 hours, who's speedy now?" and everyone's like "still you."

JASON

isn't ranked at all and not because he doesn't get any play, just because he doesn't kiss and tell

fully thinks the ranking is corny but also takes pride in knowing that if his bodycount was made public he wouldn't be at the absolute bottom

hasn't slept with that many girls but has had so many blowjobs that he's sometimes wondered if his dick will start pruning like wet fingers

felt dumb wondering that so he doubled up on his bio classes the next semester and then hooked up with his ta because she was hot and smart

is like the only guy in the frat that cares about safe sex and has had to let his brothers know on multiple occasions that their junk isn't supposed to be red or itchy, and has had the pleasure of accompanying more than a few of them on trips to the std clinic

never tells anyone that he's dick's adoptive brother, so every time they go home together over break and he decides to text a girl, she always responds with, "you're not gay?"

WALLY

would be ranked low because he's a loser and has zero game/cannot function normally around hot girls and will make a fool of himself 97% of the time but his oral skills cancel it out so he's somewhere in the middle

is one of the first places girls go after breaking up with their shitty bf's because he's sweet and will go down on them for hours without expecting anything in return

once had a conversation with jason where he reffered to his girls as clients and jason said he "made it sound like prostitution"

once had a conversation with jason where he said his jaw was getting tired and he was thinking about charging for his “service” and jason said, "that would be actual prostitution"

has cum too quick on multiple occasions but didn't get a nickname because nobody was surprised

once hooked up with another ginger, and roy had to sit him down to tell him that it was fundamentally wrong and that he was never allowed to do it again or else he'd be kicked out of the frat

[lilylovelyxo]

*Y/N, Dick, and Roy watching Jason beat the shit out of a man for putting his hands on you*

Dick: “Oh, boy…”

Y/N: “I'm going to watch through my fingers. No, I'm not.”

Dick: “I'm going to look away.”

Roy: “I think we're gonna have to lay low for a little while after this.”

[incorrect-dc-qoutes]

Jason: We need a plan to beat them. Roy: Okay, listen up. First, we fill their shoes with wet cat food. Jason: Roy: Judge me all you want, I get results.

[jasonsthunderthighs]

Speedy!Roy: *Whisperin as they hide away from a very pissed off Killer Croc* We never should've went on patrol alone.

Robin!Jason: *Also whisperin* No guts. No glory.

Speedy!Roy: You ever scared of ANYTHIN?

Robin!Jason: Yea, dyin alone. That's why I brought you here.

[blehhmm]

*Jason calling Roy*

Jason: Ok Lian remember what I told you

Lian: If a man talks shit then I owe him nothing?

Jason: No that was Taylor Swift I was quoting her the other thing

Lian: Honey, I rose up from the dead I do it all the time?

Jason: Ok to be fair I did do that and that's Taylor again

Lian: OH was it thing about screaming Speak Now (Taylor's Version) into the phone

Jason: Yes now are you ready?

Lian (mischievously): Born ready!

[leftdreamlandjellyfish]

Kori: What the hell were you thinking?

Roy: I heard releasing birds at a wedding is romantic!

Jason: You released OSTRICHES!

[heavenlyangeliq]

Jason Todd : Bottom line, are you in or are you out?

Roy Harper: Well then I’m out!

Jason Todd : Actually you’re already in.

Roy Harper : Then why would you ask me?

Jason Todd : Because I thought you would go, “I’m in, Jason !”, and we would have had a really cool moment, but you kind of ruined the whole thing.

Later

Roy Harper : I expressly remember saying that I was out.

Jason Todd : I know, but they think you’re in.

[theaceofarrows]

A Robin tradition

-

13 year old Jason: Dick, I need to borrow the Batmobile! Roy needs help with his English homework, Alfred is busy, and the Batmobile is the fastest car we have!

18 year old Dick: [is mad at Bruce and knows full well that this is going to piss him off] Say no more

[Dick gets the keys]

Dick: I'll hide the keys to the motorcycles and the plane. When Bruce tries to call you, just ignore him

Jason: [running to the car] Thanks, Dick! You're the best!

-

[Years later]

Tim: Jason please help me! I need the Batmobile to save Kon from Kryptonite Zombies!

Jason: 'Kay, try not to hit any pedestrians

Jason: [takes the Batmobile keys out of his pocket tosses them to Tim]

Tim: You just had them in your pocket...?

Jason: Zombies, Tim

Tim: Right! Thanks! [Runs away]

-

[Even more years later]

Damian: Drake! I require the Batmobile. Connor needs assist-

Tim: [already tossing Damian the keys] Cool, see ya later

Damian: [already running to the car] Thank you!

[frownyalfred]

Roy: having the Bats as friends is so weird. I was crying and they just told me to “lock in”

Oliver:

Roy: and then I did

[incorrectbatfamandfriends]

Dick, with an arrow sticking out of his thigh: My ex still misses me- but his aim is getting better!

Roy: For the last time- I didn’t mean too!

[foolilazuli]

Lian: Hey dad, Jaydad’s texting you

Roy, busy with something: Ok cool, can you answer it for me, pumpkin?

Lian: He’s asking if you want meatballs or hamburgers for dinner

Lian, texting back: Same thing, bitch. Different shapes

Lian, turns off phone: 🙂

[lilylovelyxo]

Y/N dreamily staring at Jason’s thighs: “Wow, it’s like a bunch of snakes in a leather arm chair…”

Roy equally as entranced: “I know!”

[incorrect-dc-qoutes]

Roy: Having two partners is both amazing and complicated. But all our problems are solved with communication. Kory: It’s my turn to cuddle Jason. Roy: FIVE MORE MINUTES DAMMIT!

[jasonsthunderthighs]

Jason: We're a team, guys. It's ride or die.

Roy: Yea, I would love to ride you.

Jason: What?

Roy: What?

[speedyarrows]

Roy, walking in with Lian and Jason close behind: “Sorry we’re late. We had to wait out a terrible tantrum.”

Dick: “That’s okay. ‘Terrible teens’, am I right?”

Jason: “Oh no… it was me. It was my tantrum… Anyways, I’m fine now.”

Lian: “You’re thinking of terrible twos, Uncle Dick.”

Roy: “You’re both wrong. This is terrible twenties.”

[leftdreamlandjellyfish]

Roy: If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're impressed.

Jason: But you do know better.