#incorrect quotes sharon carter

[skylarinfinity]

sharon: [try to introduce herself to m/n] hey, my name-

m/n: [back away and point his finger towards sharon] i don't need your fantasy woman!

sharon: [confused] what?

tags lists @sonicqaulan @graysonfriggason @thebettermaximofftwins @sloanalistair @acienthazard @starlinggoldeneyes @ortegaolsen @wednesdaywanda @sandwichmarvel @gardenofmarvel

[esmerxyaugusta]

nat: if the police come nothing ever happened here. *while eating spaghetti*

y/n: wait what!!?! *realises*

y/n: are we eating sharon?

nat: ...

y/n: the spaghetti is her blonde hair, the sauce is her blood and the meatballs is her flesh.... i dont want to eat anymore.....

nat: ...

[lokilaufeysonslove]

*Avengers celebrating Y/n’s birthday*

Tony: Okay Y/n, make a wish and blow out the candles.

Sharon: *walks in as you’re about to blow the candles and blocks one*

Nat: Oh, for god’s sake, Sharon!

Sharon: *smirking sarcastically* Oops, missed one. Now your wish won’t come true.

Steve: Seriously?

Bucky: Grow up already!

Y/n: *looking at Sharon dead serious* Lucky for you, ‘cause I wished you were dead.

Sharon: *smirk fading slowly*

Scott: Oh my god!

Steve: *trying not to laugh*

Peter: Wo-wow!

Nat: *smirking and staring down Sharon*

Loki: I like her!

Wanda: *staring daggers into Sharon* Unless you want it to come true, leave.

Clint:

Bruce:

Bucky:

Steve:

Nat:

Tony: Okay, this is a real warning here.

Sharon: *looks at Tony, then at Wanda, who’s about to commit a murder, gulps and leaves*

[incorrect-misfits]

Sharon: Earlier Lottie mentioned that her period was late

Sharon: And for a moment I was worried she was pregnant-

Sharon: Then I remembered we're lesbians

[toomanyincorrectquotes]

Sam: alright, give me your hairdryer

Natasha: what are you talking about?

Sam: don’t you carry a hairdryer in your purse?

Natasha: have you ever met a woman?

*later*

Sam: hey, sharon? do you carry a hairdryer in your purse?

Sharon: of course. i’m not an animal

[ad-astra-per-aspera-1389]

Bucky: Ok. Could be worse.

Sam: How? How could this be worse?

Bucky: Eh, you could accidentally get your head caught in a helicopter door that flies you out over the ocean where it drops you straight into a pod of ravenous orca that rip you apart, leaving nothing but your bones for the hungry crabs in the inky depths at the bottom of the ocean!

Sam: Wow... I mean...

Sharon: Yeah, I'm... I'm not sure how to respond to that.

[eternalslover]

Sobbing

I would give in so fast

Hi lovely! Could I request giving the marvel ladies the silent treatment plsss <33

I just want it back the way it was before

i feel like being sad girl today😔 so you guys are gonna do it with me🩶❕ thank you lovely anon

carol danvers

first carol thinks you're playing a joke on her. but when she tells you you're favorite joke or pickup line, and you don't giggle the way you usually, carol literally has a panic attack. she freaks out and thinks if everything she might've done to puss you off. she'll then forget about it and just try to apologize. she'll buy you flowers and set up a date. if you still ignore her gesture she'll literally get on her knees and start freaking out, begging you to forgive her. when you do she'll hold you close and plead you to talk to her next time.

sharon carter

first of all she gets a little pissy herself. cmon you two are adults and capable of talking it out. but then she'll realize, you love her to pieces, you're the sweetest person ever, she definitely did something. she'd leave you alone for a little, let you cool down. then she'd want to talk about it. "what's going on baby?" and she'll sit there and wait until you're ready to confess. and if you're not she'll reassure it's okay and apologize for anything she might've done. she'll wait until you're ready.

darcy lewis

when the love of her life gives her the silent treatment, darcy definitely has a breakdown. she'll start spiraling and wondering if you're gonna end things. she'll blame herself, even if it's not her fault and you're just going through things. her smile would fade so fast when she realized what was happening. she'll be asking so many, which you do not respond you, and will freak out when you just walk away. when you're asleep that night, she stroke her hair and silently beg for you to forgive her. if it takes a while she'll back off and might get a little mad. but ultimately she'll be so relieved when you speak to her again. you two both apologize and yk make up;)

nevula

nebula will be confused asf. she'll ask if you have been silenced by some sort of spell or something. when you don't respond she'll leave you alone. then when she tries to talk to you again and you don't respond, she'll try to ply the answer out of you. you have to speak to her again at some point. when that doesn't work, she resorts to her expertise. she'll corner you and ask you why you aren't speaking to her, she might get mad but wouldn't hurt you out of her anger. if you say it's bc of something she did she'll apologize and hold you close. "i am sorry my love".

maria hill

first maria will chuckle. "what's going on babe?" then when you turn and walk away she'll get confused. okay? she'll follow you and watch you from afar. watching you live you're life in silence. she'll ask a simple question of what happened. when you don't respond she'll get more specific asking if something happened on a mission or if someone said something. when you stay silent she'll come close and force you in a hug. you don't push, but don't say anything. she'll hold you close and try to sooth any anger or sadness she may have caused. "was it me baby?" if you don't respond she'll leave it alone and just hold you. if you nod she'll nod back and promise to do better and make it up.

kate bishop

when you walk away and ignore kate when she says something to you she'll go wide eyed and give you a suprised puppy look. she'll scramble to get to you. she'll grab you by the shoulder and stare into youre eyes. questioning what she did, it doesn't come out smoothly, she stutters it out. she definitely follows you like a desperate dog begging you to explain. was it her? "princess did i do something?" then she'll give you a moment. but she won't leave youre side. you could sit for hours ignoring her presence but she wouldn't leave you for a second, not until you talk it out.

[katatonicimpression]

It's the middle of the afternoon on New Year's Eve and I have fuck all to do so let's watch the Sam episode of What If?

DISCLAIMER: This is the first, and so far only, full episode of this show that I have ever watched. It did not inspire me to watch more. So, that's my bias I guess.

Background

There was some controversy about all of this. Sam appeared briefly in the zombies episode in the first season of this show. He's already a zombie and is quickly killed (re-killed?) by bucky, who makes a quip about it.

The line feels kinda off, like they're trying to recreate the banter between the characters in the live action (finding each other annoying etc) but it falls flat. There's no love there. In civil war (which takes place before the canon divergence in the show), their banter still has a level of camaraderie to it. They're riffing off each other, and fighting together and saving each other. It's weird to have bucky quip at the prospect of sam's death in a scene that takes place after those scenes.

It feels like reading one of the thousands of "incorrect quotes" posts on this app that write Bucky being horrible to Sam for no reason. It's the exact same emotional experience. Put a pin in that.

There was another controversy related to this, which is that in the same episode, Sharon also dies. Allegedly, one of the main writers (matthew chauncey) said that they should give her a particularly violent death because "no one likes her... he belongs with peggy". This is an open expression of violent misogyny so yeah that's fun. What a piece of shit... allegedly.

Sam does not appear in any other episode of what if s1. When s2 came out, his absence felt conspicuous, and many people commented on it. In particular, there's an episode of s2 that is vaguely medieval/robin-hood vibes, and Sam is noticeably absent from Steve's band of merry men. Steve's best friend, closest partner of over 50 years of comics isn't there. The falconry themed superhero is not in the medieval episode. People rightfully called bs.

The show felt similar to reading posts and fics in the fandom, and the way that people will minimise Sam's existence in Canon. Put a pin in that.

One person involved in making it (I think a writer but I can't remember and I searched for like ten minutes it's NYE gimme a break) responded publically to these complaints. They cited a supposed uncertainty over sam's future in the mcu (specifically whether he was cap or falcon) as a reason for not including him.

This was very funny, because 1) There was no ambiguity over whether Sam would be cap - it was a dead cert since Endgame what are you on? and 2) no one would've been mad if Sam had appeared as Falcon.

This response had the same vibes as when random fans say weird and ignorant things in Sam's tag and, when confronted, will offer weird excuses that don't make any sense. Pin it.

The other bit of context here is the (admittedly heavy) discussion of how What If launched Captain Carter, a decision that had to have been made around the same time that they decided to do samcap. I've talked before about this; it's complicated and the discourse is annoying. But ultimately, it comes across very badly for the mcu that they created a white female british captain america (not captain britain from Excalibur, but specifically a captain america character) specifically to launch near simultaneously with a Black captain america. It looks bad and I don't like it.

Anyway, so after this person who's name i can't find put their foot in their mouth, Marvel released a few stills from s3, revealing that Sam would be in one episode. People were happy to see him, and (aside from the VERY VALID CRITIQUE that WhatIf!Sam doesn't have the eyelashes he so clearly ought to) people were mostly placated.

The Episode

I love mark ruffalo but his voice performance in the opening scene is not it. Also the narration is mixed a lot louder than the dialogue... which is a jarringly amateur mistake. Ok whatever i'm gonna try to keep my salty complaining sam-focused

So, the show opens with a version of the opening samsteve meetcute from CATWS. But this time, without a mutual exchange of vulnerability. This time Sam is just offering Bruce comfort.

Then he literally gives him therapy.

Then he takes him to Louisiana to the boat, a redo of the sambucky scenes in tfatws. I'm not the first person to point this out, but there's a big difference here. Bucky came to louisiana uninvited with a (technically unwanted, but still very impressive) gift for Sam and then spent the day working on the boat as a gesture of friendship. He was performing acts of service (or however you express it) because he wanted to preserve and nurture this relationship. He knew he'd treated Sam badly and wanted to make it up to him.

Then, Sam invited him to stay the night (or, rather, accepts bucky's self-invitation to sleep in his house), because he's nice and welcoming and generous yes sure. But also because he likes Bucky back, despite everything. They both want to be friends and partners.

That's not happening here. It's just Sam offering Bruce his home because he is apparently motivated by a desire to help random white men he meets.

It reminds me of the countless fics and hcs that write Sam exclusively as a caretaker and therapist for bucky or other white characters. It reminds me of the takes that rewrite canon to make him be the one to pursue bucky with a desire to help and nurture him - a thing that has never happened in canon. Urgh. Pin that thought up with the others.

Oh and of course, we can't have a story about samcap without paying tribute to our holy special boy steve for a bit. Whatever it was just a few overly long shots.. still annoyed me though. Wow I really am a hater.

Oh and Bruce is the one with the arc? He's the one the episode is about? But his change of heart happens entirely off screen and with no implicit turning point? Lol. Lmao even.

And "friends who accept us for who we really are." I want to take this entire writers room aside because no. You can't end with a thesis statement that wasn't the theme of the story. Go back to school.

Am I Nothing but Negativity?

It was nice to see sarah again! Shame all she got to do was scream then get violently shoved to the floor.

Ok but in general, once the episode gets started in earnest, it's fine.

I did genuinely like seeing Sam again. I like him in the lead, even if the episode was about Bruce, Sam was still the main character and that was fun to see.

Mackie's voice performance is strong.

I enjoyed the 0.0003 seconds of sambucky. I liked seeing Sam and Monica together.

"The man wants to have tea with Lenin." This line is so bad it's good again. Yeah he probably would. And he'd be fine. Vlad would love the guy, everyone does.

I like the visual of Sam facing down a giant kaiju and just chatting to it. That's very sam coded. That and Sam with the shot of the monsters walking past him and him standing strong.

What is the Point of this Show?

There's nothing spectacular in this episode. The dialogue is astoundingly predictable, the jokes fail to be funny.

At times, the animation style (much like TDP which recently finished) feels like it's holding them back. A lot of the quieter, less actiony, shots are ugly frames with people walking less naturally than sims do. And they do have some more expressive stuff in the busier scenes, so it's not artistically empty, but it's not doing a lot for me either.

Maybe it's an interesting technique for those who know more about these things, but honestly regular 2d animation would've been (i assume) cheaper and potentially better. Then again, if it wasn't visually distinctive, what else would it have going for it?

Conceptually, a mcu what if show is an amazing idea, but in practice IN MY VERY BIASED OPINION, it's done very little with that potential. The comics offer such a rich trough of ideas that could be spun into very entertaining short episodes with versions of the characters that would otherwise not be able to encounter those story beats. Hell, Sam in particular has an entire massive part of his character cut from the mcu (his powers) that they could explore... and that would be really well suited to animation!

But they've stuck to the comparatively shallow mcu lore for most of it.

I've seen people express disappointment that it's ending after only 3 short seasons and I see why. This is obviously the sort of thing that you could do so much more with. But I also feel that the writing is uninspired and betrays a real lack of interest in the worlds of most of these characters.

I Hate its Vibes

So let's take a look at those pins, shall we?

We have:

Ignoring Sam most of the time

Mischaracterising his relationship with Bucky

Writing him as a caregiver, a nurturing therapist only

A lack of an internal world and motivations beyond his desire to help others

Ignorance over his character's history including his powers and the depth and longevity of his relationship with steve

Nonsensical excuses when faced with criticism, unintentionally displaying even more ignorance and incuriosity over the character

I mentioned that writers comment about sharon earlier for a reason. The vibes are not good. They are rancid. They are reminding me of every dumb post I've ever read on this site. Every weird jab at the character for stupid, racist reasons. Every fic with the "magical negro" trope. Every moron i can think of tbh.

Yeah, so maybe I'm not being fair to this show. The episode was uninspired, but not bad. I liked seeing sam do things. If people gif him looking cool in it, I'll reblog it I guess. But I'm not gonna watch the rest of the show, and I won't mourn the fact that it's ending.

I guess my conclusion is that it's very funny that Marvel placated disgruntled sam fans with a still from this episode, and then when it finally comes out, it's everything we've ever complained about.

[ir0npvrker]

bucky: i’m gonna kick your ass

sam: i’d like to see you try

bucky: okay. saturday. noon. the usual place

sam: you’re on. loser pays for dinner and the movie

sharon: can’t you two just ask each other out normally?

[pawiie]

Sam: Ass or boobs?

Bucky: Probably ass.

Clint: Boobs

Tony: Both

Y/N: Wanda’s Ass and Nat’s Boobs.

Steve: stop objectifying women.

Sam: right.. so what is it?

Steve: *whispers* peggy’s boobs.. sharon’s ass.

Sam: Bro…

Bucky: Dude…

Tony: Thats actually very disturbing to hear.

—

Wanda: I felt my ass cheek twitch.

Sharon: Weird. Same.

Natasha: Really? My left boob is suddenly itchy.

Maria: Try using soap while washing your bodies next time.

[shelly-stark-official]

Y/N: 12 o’clock, Sharon

Pepper: Crap, okay pretend we’re arguing she won’t come here if she sees that

Y/N: YOU STOLE MY INHERITANCE YOU GOLD DIGGER

Pepper:

Pepper: Had that one locked and loaded huh

[phoenixes-and-wizards]

joaquin: bucky barnes is stupid

sam, smiling: what did he do now

joaquin, clearly not listening: he walks around, thinking he's soooooo slick and secretive, but literally everyone can see that he's in love with you

sam: hang on--

joaquin: wELL SURPRISE SURPRISE WHITE MAN YOU AIN'T SPECIAL WE'RE ALL IN LOVE WITH SAM

sam: wHAT--

zemo: no no he's got a point

sharon: yeah he totally does

steve, on his 31st wineglass somewhere in heaven: hear hear

[thekaiqueen]

Sharon: Sam can’t be good at everything. Maybe he’s a bad kisser.

Bucky: No, he’s good at that too.

Sharon: What?

Bucky: What?

[incorrect-misfits]

Ronan: Kiss marry kill - Kaya, Jessica, Gwen

Luna: Kiss Gwen, marry Kaya, kill Morgan

Morgan: I wasn't even an option-

Luna: I know

[wenellyb]

[bisexual-cryptid]

bucky: ow! fuck, i cut my finger.

sam: let me kiss it to make it better!

bucky, blushing furiously: oh- uh- okay.

(later)

bucky: sharon i need you to punch me in the mouth.