#incorrect lbp quotes

[cute-uproar-princess]

(The secret word is "pizza"!) Vex: Okay, an Italian dish! Newton Pud: Pasta! Vex: No, it's round and flat! Newton Pud: Calzone! Vex: No! It's flat, and has pepperoni... Newton Pud: Flat calzone! Vex: Grr, no! Listen- Newton Pud: Mean Italian guy? Vex: No, it's FOOD! It's round- Newton Pud: I-talian donut hole! Vex: Grrr... Newton Pud: Hmm... Crankypants! Vex: (growls angrily) Newton Pud: A grizzly bear! Vex: (growls even more) Newton Pud: Sea monkeys! (buzzer sounds) That was hard.

[thehyperrequiem]

Avalon: What do you think Herbert will do for a distraction?

Clive: He’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do.

*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*

Clive:...or he could do that.

[littlebigkatamari]

SABA/LBP Incorrect Quotes #6:

Marlon: Say... What do you got there, champ?

Newton: (Pushing the Titan teat tin) ...New invention.

[sabrina136666]

I made a incorrect quote in the discord server

And then drew it

[incorrectlbp]

[c0smiccom3t]

Vex and Stitcher’s incorrect quotes Part 2! (ft. Newton as a henchman to Vex and a sidekick to stitcher)

Vex: I know you snuck out last night, Stitcher. Newton: Play dumb! Stitcher: Who's Stitcher? Newton: NOT THAT DUMB!!!

Vex: If Stitcher and I were drowning, who would you save? Newton: You two can’t swim? Stitcher: It’s a hypothetical question, Newton! who would you save? Newton: my time and effort.

Vex: Are you the big spoon or the little spoon? Stitcher: I'm a knife. Newton, from across the room: He’s the little spoon.

Vex: I really like this whole ‘good guy, bad guy’ thing you guys have going on. Stitcher: It’s not an act, it’s just that I’m mean and Newton isn’t

Vex: I trust Stitcher. Newton: You think he knows what he’s doing? Vex: I wouldn't go that far.

Vex, negotiating with Stitcher: We have Newton. Give us ten thousand dollars and they will be returned to you unharmed Newton: Whoa, whoa, wait, you think I’m only worth ten thousand dollars? Vex: Newton: MAKE IT ONE MILLION– Vex: NEWTON STOP

Vex: Newton, keep an eye on Stitcher today. He’s going to say something to the wrong person and get punched. Newton: Sure, I’d love to see Stitcher get punched. Vex: Try again. Newton, sighing: I will stop Stitcher from getting punched.

Vex: If I die, my funeral is going to be the biggest party ever and you’re all invited Stitcher: If? Newton: Great, the only party I’ve ever been invited to and they might not even die.

Vex: What do you think Stitcher will do for a distraction? Newton: He’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do. *Building explodes and several car alarms go off* Newton: ... or he could do that.

Vex: Come on, I wasn’t that drunk last night. Newton: You were flirting with Stitcher. Vex: So what? he's my partner. Newton: You asked him if he was single. Vex: Newton: And then you cried when he said he wasn’t

Vex: We need a distraction. Newton: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises? Stitcher, whispering: My time has come

Vex: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it. Newton: Vex no. Stitcher: Mistlefoe. Newton: Please stop encouraging him.

Vex: HELP! I TOLD STITCHER I’D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN’T COOK! Newton, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

Vex, driving Newton and Stitcher: So how was your day? Stitcher: We almost got surprise adopted! Vex: What? Newton: We almost got kidnapped. Vex: Oh, okay. Vex: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?!

Vex: How's the sexiest person here~? Newton: I don't know, how are they~? Vex, flustered: I- Stitcher, from across the room: I'm doing great, thanks!

Vex: I’m kind of crushing on someone, but I’m worried about telling you who it is, because you’re not going to like it Newton: Just rip the bandage off. Vex: It’s Stitcher. Newton: Put the bandage back on.

Vex: Newton, can I talk to you for a second? Newton: Yeah, what’s up? Lemme guess. You and Stitcher are having problems and you want me to teach you how to kiss? Vex: What? No, stop that. I know how to kiss. I’ve read books.

[incorrectlbp]

It's not an incorrect quote but it needs to be here

“I’m allergic to drowning! I come out in these big… big… well death…”

— Newton Pud

[butchspace]

on he/him lesbians (and gnc women in general)

I'm not gonna take asks about this anymore. If you send them in, I'm just gonna delete them (or maybe link to this) because there's more than enough on my blog and on Tumblr in general to explain this to anyone who's willing to learn. If you need some posts on this, I started a tag for it. Also check out the posts I link down at the end of this.

I don't want to jump down anyone's throat about this or make anyone feel bad, but I'm gonna take ~ one paragraph to vent. I get why it might be hard to understand something you've never seen, heard of, and/or experienced. The honest asks that just want to know more aren't that bad. The people who want to understand so they can support us or just to learn about us are ok.

TW for:

(mostly brief) discussions of transphobia, lesbophobia, and misogyny

mentions of racism

I don't like how many asks I see asking why some lesbians use he/him. It sometimes feels like my identity is being questioned. And a lot of them accuse us of being transphobes or of diluting the meaning of language. (All of these anons assume all GNC lesbians are cis and no trans or nonbinary person has ever preferred any pronouns but the ones directly associated with their gender, which is...incorrect.) They come into our inboxes and ask GNC lesbians to lay out every piece of evidence for why they should be allowed to exist, and then twist those words around and make us into villains.

When I say pronouns don't equal gender, I don't mean they're not related or connected. That's actually the precise reason why someone might want to express their gender non-conformity through pronouns. Pronouns are associated with gender, but they are not the absolute & ultimate gender decider. People don't identify as a man because they prefer he/him. It’s usually the other way around. Most people use the pronouns that are directly associated with their gender because of how they identify. A nonbinary person might prefer they/them because those pronouns are gender neutral and affirming. A trans man might prefer he/him because those pronouns are traditionally thought of as male and are affirming. But a nonbinary person is not obligated to use they/them and a trans man is not obligated to use he/him. A cis man is not obligated to use he/him either. People choose their pronouns based on what they are comfortable with. What they are comfortable with is often directly influenced by their gender, but not always. Some people use pronouns that align more with their gender non-conformity or gender presentation. No one is obligated to go by any pronouns they don’t want to.

Misogyny and homophobia intersect and fuck with the lives and identities of LBP women. It makes it weird, hard, and confusing to be women. LBP women of color and trans women experience even more intersections that affect their relationship to womanhood. The only acceptable womanhood (1) is to be a straight, white, cis, able-bodied, thin, gender conforming, etc. woman. Most women are going to have a somewhat complicated relationship to gender. But for any woman who is not everything on this list, it's going to be even harder to navigate. So we do it in different ways. For some women, going by he/him pronouns is one of those ways. Some women present in an untraditional way. Sometimes, they prefer to subvert traditional femininity.

And using he/him isn’t necessarily about a disconnection from womanhood. There are women who are very firmly connected to womanhood who use he/him. It’s about a disconnect from femininity or from gender conformity. But ultimately it’s about experiencing womanhood differently.

And honestly, how does being "masculine" or using """"male"""" pronouns automatically, despite this person identifying as a woman, turn someone into a man. (2) I think any theories about gender identity that discount someone's internal idea of their gender are bad and often have transphobic or misogynist implications.

The bottom line is women (and everyone really) are allowed to express their gender however they want (3 & 4). The fact that there isn't nearly as much backlash about lesbians who use they/them (although there certainly is some) is really telling. People want lesbians to fit into some gender box and never branch out. They especially want lesbians to never ever do anything even remotely associated with men, because this threatens gender roles. But we will never fit into gender boxes. Those gender boxes inherently exclude us. Society wants this of all women, and those boxes are rarely meant for otherwise marginalized women. (5) They are created by misogyny, and heavily informed by homophobia, transphobia, and racism.

And, just to reiterate, men cannot be lesbians. That is no way what I’m saying here and if you thought so you didn’t read the post very well.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

Notes:

(1) in some way, there is no acceptable womanhood because of misogyny (see note 5)

(2) a post about why I don't like calling butches in general words associated with men, hence the scare quotes

(3) Do what you want but don't use culture-specific identities that you don't have claim to, don't you slurs you can't reclaim, etc.

(4) a post about gender identity and presentation that goes into more detail about my do what you want philosophy

(5) this is not to say cis het white women always fit into their gender boxes very neatly either. Misogyny affects all women, it just affects LGBT women and women of color in unique ways.

other posts on this subject: x, x, x

even more stuff:

x, x, x

[cute-uproar-princess]

Vex: (to Newton) I'm gonna punch your face in the face. Newton: (was worried) Vex: (slowly) IN YOUR FACE! Newton: No! (Vex punches Newton's bulb)

[cute-uproar-princess]

Sackboy: We gotta keep it quiet. (Newton's tummy begins to gurgle) Newton Pud: Tell my parents I love them. Sackboy: (puts shoves a riceball into Newton's mouth, puts on some earplugs) Hit the dirt! (ducks for cover and covers his ears) (Newton Pud lets out a huge burp)

[cute-uproar-princess]

Captain Pud really doesn't appreciate that...

[cute-uproar-princess]

Newton Pud: (to Clive) Which door?! There's more than one! Sackgirl is behind the door shaped like this! Avalon: I told you!!! (Avalon, Clive and Sackboy start fighting) (Newton Pud face palms during their argument)

[cute-uproar-princess]

Vex's opinion on screaming YouTubers:

Vex, pointing at his lap top: There were screams in there!

[cute-uproar-princess]

Vex in the bath: [notices Newton Pud walking into the halls needing to use the bathroom] What are those Neanderthals up to? Don't they know I'm busy spoiling myself?

[Newton opens the door while Vex is bathing]

Vex: [starts screaming thrice] [stops screaming then panting]

[cute-uproar-princess]

Newton Pud: HOLY FISH PASTE!!! What is that?

Sackgirl: (about the rice ball she made) That's the appetizer.

[cute-uproar-princess]

Vex: Running out of ideas, Clive. Think of something that would make me look good. Clive Handforth: (to Newton) Newt, BE CAREFUL WITH THAT!! (sighs) Why do I care, the orbs aren't candy. Newton Pud: Sackbulb of helms! Dive! Dive!!! (eats 3 titan spirits) Clive Handforth: Newton, what have you done? Open it. Open it! Newton Pud: (opens his mouth wide) Ahhhhh... Clive Handforth: You have know better than to eat the titan spirits. Just think what you did for your digestive tract. (pulls the titan spirits out of Newton Pud's mouth) Newton Pud: I can't wait to see that part, Clive! Clive Handforth: Yes, well. Let's see and say we did, Newton.