#incorrect jackbox quotes

[incorrectjackboxquotes]

“I’m all-knowing, not all-paying-attention”

—The Wheel, probably

(Source: Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur)

^

[incorrectjackboxquotes]

[REDACTED]: God, give me patience.

Schmitty: I think you mean 'give me strength'.

[REDACTED]: If God gave me strength, you'd be dead.

^ Patience is a virtue, after all!

[incorrectjackboxquotes]

Mayonnaise: "Can you not do impulsive crap for two seconds, and listen to me?!"

[incorrectjackboxquotes]

“No where in Humpty Dumpty does it say anything about him being an egg. Think of it, go over it in your head. Doesn’t say anything about it, just a guy who fell. A human being, extensively, one would imagine. Yeah, it’s f*cking horrifying! It’s just the macabre tale of a kingdom of horses attempting to reassemble a dead man. Mother Goose, whoever you are, the f*ck?”

-Nate Shapiro on Truth Talk 23/7, probably

(Source: Will Wood)

^ Nate, you've been hanging around [REDACTED] too much.

[incorrectjackboxquotes]

Jester, peeking out from under a table: I was gonna play a trick and scare you!

[Redacted]: Ok well I’m playing a trick on you now so-

Jester: How’d you reverse my trick?!

[Redacted]: With a KNIFE!

(Source: StephenVlog)

^

[incorrectjackboxquotes]

“I’m a triple threat— I can sing, I can dance, and I just found a gun”

-Narrator, probably

^

[incorrectjackboxquotes]

Lord Tippet: Why does one of the detectives have a knife!?

Narrator: He felt unsafe so I gave him one

Lord Tippet: Well, now I feel unsafe!

Narrator: Would you like a knife?

Lord Tippet: NO!

^

[incorrectjackboxquotes]

Felicia: You guys will never guess what just happened

Dandelion: What’s up, Felicia?

Felicia: So Glargan and I were crossing the street and this dude drove by and honked at us

Mayonnaise: Oh God what did Glargan do?

Felicia: He chased this guy to the next red light, reached through his window, and-

Glargan: Who wants a steering wheel~~!

^ GLARGAN, NO!!!

[incorrectjackboxquotes]

Jerri: MM, what are you doing?

Master Mentalist: Making chocolate pudding

Jerri: It’s 4 o’clock in the morning! Why on earth are you making chocolate pudding?

Master Mentalist: Because I’ve lost control of my life

(Source: Rugrats)

^ I feel like we've done this quote before, but what the hey! Let's use it again!

[incorrectjackboxquotes]

The Secretary: Where’s the Mayor?

Schmitty: Old Man? He’s… around

The Secretary: Around? You don’t have any idea, do you?

Old Man, falling through the ceiling tiles: Did you know there’s a crawl space above the ceiling?!

^ Old Man, that's the attic! Be careful, there are ghosts up there!

[incorrectjackboxquotes]

Felicia: You know, it’s so lovely to be wanted

* distant police sirens *

[Redacted], hiding under a table with a shotgun: NOT BY THE FBI!

^ Just another day at Jackbox~

[incorrectjackboxquotes]

I just came up with Jackbox Games ship names and i have nowhere else to post them, and since you liked my ship name for the TMP Killer & The Keeper, Deathinition, i have decided to awaken from my Tumblr hibernation to share the fruits of my mind.

Fated Fortunes (TWOEP X Cookie)

Thoughts and Prayers (Mentalist X TWOEP)

Cake by the Ocean (Jack C. X Capt. Chuck)

Stadium Dome (Champ'd Up Host X Glargan)

Tipped Scales (Lord Tippet X Tournament Master)

Internet Cookies (Todd X Cookie)

Time Keeper (Jerri X The Keeper)

Branded Biscuits (Creepy Voice X Cookie)

Low-Poly Specs (DODE X Gene)

Bubbly Laughter (M. Bubz X Capt. Chuck)

Trashy Television (Nikolas X Rue)

Sharp Tongue (Nate X Elizbeth)

Suction Talks (Octoputtz X Talking Points Hostess)

Mothernaise (Mayonnaise X Mother [as in the one from msm, not the Earwax host, that would be M.O.T.H.E.R.N.A.I.S.E.])

DODElion (DODE X Dandelion)

Guyman (Guy X Buzz)

F.BID.I. (Guesspionage Host X Bidiots Host)

Monkey Business (Prof. Nanners [i know she's an ape] X M. Bubz)

HellLiar (Demon Relocation Specialist X Cookie)

Potato Chips (Word Spud Host X Cookie)

Pen Pals (Drawful Hostess X Todd)

Technical Mastercest (Cookie X Masterson, C.)

Lies and Flies (Cookie X Lars)

Buzzsaw (Buzz X TMP Killer)

Bombshell (Greg X Conche)

Money Hungry (Predatory Loans X binjpipe [the companies themselves, the spokespeople would be Corporate Loans]

Jackcule (The YDKJ hosts X each other)

Packcule (Hosts from the same pack X each other [ex: Packcule 9])

Startercule (TMP Killer X Tournament Master X Schmitty)

Naughtycule (take a wild guess)

I will be returning to Tumblr hibernation now, sorry, this site's graphical updates makes my eyes sting too much to use it actively.

^ That's a LOT of ships!

[incorrectjackboxquotes]

M.Bubz: Hey Master Mentalist, have you seen my waste basket?

Master Mentalist, who has a waste basket over his face: Ask me that again and look into my eyes

Source: Sesame Street

^ The duality of Jackbox Hosts.

[incorrectjackboxquotes]

Talking Points Hostess: Do you guys take constructive criticism?

Toby and Lena: No, we only take cash or credit

^

[incorrectjackboxquotes]

Schmitty: "I know it seems unfair now, but someday when you're older and wiser, you'll be able to look back on all this..."

Schmitty: "...And get revenge."

[incorrectjackboxquotes]

[REDACTED]: *is in front of a mirror*

[REDACTED]: *looks around to make sure nobody is watching*

[REDACTED]: *poofs into a doll* :)

Dot: *was secretly behind him*

Dot: "LMAO!"

[REDACTED]: !!!

[REDACTED]: *quickly turns back*

[REDACTED]: "YOU SAW NOTHING!!!"