incorrectjackboxquotes

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Schmitty: "I know it seems unfair now, but someday when you're older and wiser, you'll be able to look back on all this..."

Schmitty: "...And get revenge."

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[REDACTED]: *is in front of a mirror*

[REDACTED]: *looks around to make sure nobody is watching*

[REDACTED]: *poofs into a doll* :)

Dot: *was secretly behind him*

Dot: "LMAO!"

[REDACTED]: !!!

[REDACTED]: *quickly turns back*

[REDACTED]: "YOU SAW NOTHING!!!"

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[REDACTED] *On the phone with Gene* "Good news, I found someone to move the ambergris!"

Gene: "You did? Who?"

[REDACTED] "You're not gonna believe it, the Bidiots host. He works near the Quiplash place."

Gene: "Really? You found someone at Jackbox?"

[REDACTED] "Uh, don't be alarmed but pretty much everyone working at Jackbox is a criminal."

Gene: "Even Cookie Masterson?"

[REDACTED] "Are you kidding? Especially Cookie Masterson."

*Cookie is violently stabbing someone with a screw in the background.*

Source: Bob's Burgers

^ Every single one of them has committed at least ONE crime.

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Dictionary Keeper: "I can't believe you were shot! With bullets!"

[REDACTED]: "I got shot in my bulletproof vest Babygirl, it's just a couple bruises, I'm okay."

Dictionary Keeper: "...Why don't they make better vests? That's not bulletproof!"

Dictionary Keeper: "That's like when you fall in the pool and your watch stops working! That's water-resistant!"

[REDACTED]: *pulls up his shirt while she's talking.*

Dictionary Keeper: "They should call it… bullet… resi…"

[REDACTED]: "I. Am just. Fine. See? Just a couple bruises."

Dictionary Keeper: *staring respectfully* O///O "H...How long do you have to... be taped up like this?"

[REDACTED]: "I dunno. A couple of days maybe."

Dictionary Keeper: "Oh... okay."

[REDACTED]: "You relaxed now?"

Dictionary Keeper: "Yeah, yeah. I'm relaxed."

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Nikolaus: "And there ain't NOTHIN' you can say to stop me!"

Dictionary Keeper: "Oh yeah?! What if I said..."

Dictionary Keeper: "Blargin fedibble no-hip!!!"

Nikolaus: !?

Nikolaus: "Well, I gotta admit, that slowed me down!"

Nikolaus: "BUT I'M STILL GOING FOR HIM!"

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^ These are so accurate, it's actually crazy.

Jackbox text post hell (these are very old oof)

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"The average human was not meant to have this much lore."

- Cookie, talking about [REDACTED]

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Binjpipe: Come down today and try some corn, or we will sacrifice your newborn. AH-

^

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Schmitty: "We're lost."

Lord Tippet: "Lost? As in, 'Where the hell are we?'?"

Schmitty: "We're not totally lost! We're still in the office!"

Lord Tippet: "You said this was a shortcut!"

Schmitty: "It IS a shortcut! Look how fast we got lost!"

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^ I recognize some of these quotes! :D

Man I love messing around with the incorrect quote generator

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[REDACTED]: "I salute my fallen enemy!"

[REDACTED]: *blows a raspberry and laughs*

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While Schmitty and Cookie Get All the Recognition in Jackbox Games:

Guy: "What are you guys doing?" Buzz: "Like in life in general or-" Nate: "Not much. Why, what's up?" Guy: "I dunno, I’m bored playing AC." Nate: "Assassins Creed?" Guy: "Animals Creed." Buzz: "Assassins Crossing."

4:04 pm, 4/13/2024

^ Air Conditioner

[incorrectjackboxquotes]

Cookie: Can you describe the women who stabbed you?

Faker: lithe, spirited, outgoing, and not afraid to speak her mind. She was a raw powerful force and she knew it. She was dandelion fluff on a summer day, gone in an instant, leaving you with nothing but the memory of her touch and the faint taste of strawberries on your lips

Cookie:...Ok so we have a motive but still no description.

^

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Lord Tippet: *turns off lights* ...*turns them back on*

Lord Tippet: "Hello? Is everyone alright- GREAT MACE-WIELDING MINOTAUR KINGS!!!"

Narrator: "Who are you talking to?"

Lord Tippet: "Nobody, just practicing for next time." :)

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Schmitty: "Hey, Guy. What kind of flowers do you prefer?" Guy: "I like sunflowers." Schmitty, pulling out a bouquet of Venus Flytraps: "Well, shit-"

12:24 am, 4/13/2024

^ SCHMITTY NO!!!

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YDKJ Host reactions to being called straight: Nate: "The fuck, no I'm not." Cookie: "Excuse the hell out of you?" Schmitty: "Ding dong, you are wrong!" Guy: "Who told you that? And why did they lie?" Bob (from Headrush): "Rude." Buzz: *punches the person*

9:43 am, 4/12/2024

^ Not a single straight host in the bunch!

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Jerri Rigg: "AAAAAH!" *gets hit in the head, HARD, causing her to fall to the ground*

The other hosts: *rush over to make sure she's okay.*

Conductor: "Jerri Rigg! Speak to me, woman!"

Jerri Rigg: "Just a... knock on the old..." *zap* "...monkey bus."

Master Mentalist: "Jerri...?"

Jerri Rigg: *stands up* "No need to paint, I'm as flopsy-faced as ever!" *wobbles away, clearly disoriented*

Master Mentalist: "I... don't think you're fit for duty."

Jerri Rigg: *still wobbling* "Flibbertyjibbit, man! I’m as juxtaposed as the next hamburger!" *splat*