#incorrect inglourious basterds quotes

[uranniumgirls]

Donny: Alright... who's hungry? Omar, raises his hand: Donny: Alright, we only have Archie's beans from his bag- Omar: Oh hell nah, I may be hungry but there is no way I'm eating that puta's beans. No way in hell.

[g3rmtonium]

Utivich:THERES A BOMB ON THE TRAIN.

Aldo: OBAMA’S ON THE TRAIN?

Donny: OBAMA’S ON THE TRAIN?

Utivich: NO! A BOMB!

Donny: Oh good, I fuckin’ hate Obama but I’m not racist or anythin’

Aldo: I am 🤠-

[magpiecrust]

What is Red Revenge?

Basically, it's a WW2 superhero story that actually goes into alternate history instead of pretending modern day would be unchanged from the real world after all these events and despite all these supernatural and superscientific elements.

I can't think of anything to compare it to. Über? The Specialists? There is also some inspiration from Inglourious Basterds. But Red Revenge is not as gory as Über or Basterds, the aforementioned inspiration i don't mean Tarantino's voyeuristic gore. Also nobody is as OP as Über's supersoldiers. Still, it's obviously very dark.

It's supposed to become a webcomic eventually. I've seen writing advice that tells you to make incorrect quotes, playlists, moodboards, etc. about your characters to get a hang of them, which is what i'm doing on this blog. I'm also still workign on the character designs. Researching armies, history, involved real people, and the weather so your alternste history that spans over a decade is realistic is a lot of work and takes a really long time (even withiut indecisiveness and procastination). While the unrealistic elements are the point of divergence, i want the events unfolding from their presence (and other interference) to be realistic and make sense. I need to do other stuff besides research every once in a while too.

Tom Handschin/Carmine Avenger is the main character, a young german antifascist whose adoptive father Hans Leonhardt is murdered by the nazis in 1940 when they're found in Paris. Tom becomes sort of a superhero, though he's propably more similiar to the pulp characters The Shadow and The Spider. Like them, he doesn't have any superpowers. He's also autistic and gay ace, like me. I might change his name to Red Avenger.

Like The Shadow, Tom has a bunch of other people working for him. The most developed ones, whom i've already mentioned on this blog, are Emese Nacht/Pine, Horst Dießl/Crow, and Arthur Tangemann/Star. They all have single-word codenames that are supposed to look like legit surnames.

Sascha Schwinghammer, Basti Brandt, and Karl Barbier are Hans' friends and compatriots who are alive (at least for the time being), Renate Brandt is Basti's wife and Hannah Barbier is Karl's wife (Hannah, Karl, and Sascha are secretly all together). Hans, Sascha, Basti, and Karl are all disabled WWI veterans, they met during WWI, remained in contact, and opposed the nazis together.

Detlev Herr is Tom's former friend from the orphanage and a current frenemy. The frenemy thing is because Detlev joined the communist party in the late 1920s and believed KPD's narrative that all non-KPD leftists are evil. And since Tom is an anti-USSR and anti-KPD socialist...

The other superheroes of Red Revenge, besides Tom, are the generically superhuman Louisa Kinge/The Catalyst, pretty low-level psychic dhampir Miyako Hasuike/Wisteria Woman, the hydrokinetic and potential nixie Tadpole, the vampire Noah Ashford/Grey Howler, and generically superhuman Orville Holm/Freedom Fighter.

The main villains of Red Revenge are, obviously, a group of nazi supervillains; their leader The Lightbearer, the robot soldier Living Inferno, speedster Falk Bernhardt Rot/Thunderlight, telekinetic Adele Siemon/The Maiden, and hydrokinetic maybe-nixie/human hybrid Romano Marchegiano, generically superhuman Byron Ashford, and sniper Jan Messer who i don't have codename ideas for yet. The Lightbearer's girlfriends Gretchen Wagner and Kreszentia Glasner might also get mentioned. I've already decided how and when all these people die, at least tentatively.

(Yes, Noah and Byron are related. There's a whole british upper class family drama with them)

(Tadpole and Marchegiano are not related. Neither are Miyako and Noah)

[hungry-hobbits]

tfw shits fucked and ur wishing you picked up a bit more italian while in sicily 

[itsalwaysastagafterdark]

Fabian: Speaking of Albus Dumbledore, whose idea was it for the death trap rendezvous?

Gideon: He chose the spot.

Fabian: Well, isn't that just brilliant!

Gideon: Look, he's not a military strategist. He's just a headmaster.

Moody: Well, you don't got to be Stonewall Jackson to know you don't want to fight in a basement.

[sergeant-donny-donowitz]

The Basterds as...

 Things my friends and I said during hell finals week:

Aldo: I don’t HAVE to take this exam. I’m American. I just have to pay off my student debt and die.

Donny: Fuck you, yo mamma, and yo kids. Omar: I....I don’t have any kids... Donny: *mutters* Lame...

Hirschberg (@ 2:30 AM): Wh...what do you mean you don’t want pasta?! You...you bitch!

Uti (12:50 AM): I just ate a whole bag of  n u t s

Hugo: *sighing* If I push you down the stairs right now, will you promise to shut up? Wicki: Push me off the balcony, you coward.

Uti: Is bacon cheese soup vegetari....wait...

Donny: I don’t know about you guys, but I don’t trust a guy that I’ve only ever seen either drunk, running in the dark, or in a Hawaiian shirt.

Shosanna: Your fuckery astounds me.

Aldo: You disappoint me. Uti: If I had a dad, I think he woulda sounded like you uwu Aldo: *glares*

Aldo: Don’t go out in the goddamn rain in a fucking tank-top! Donny: Mama ain’t raise no bitch, ma’am. Wicki:  Are you seriously taking a whole box of oreos up your bunk with you?! Omar: Look, I don’t need this kind of negativity in my life right now. Hirschberg: I don’t get sick....I just die on the inside. Uti: You write like a serial killer! Hugo: *Smirks in silence, and keeps writing* Hirschberg: Any math taught to me after y=mx+b is a fucking mystery to me... Uti: Hey that rhymed! ^.^ Hirschberg: ...I hope you push a pull-door.

[drei-satzzeichen]

Jelena: I know, this is a silly question, before I ask it, but can you Americans speak any other language then English?

Justus: Bob and I speak a little Spanish.

Jelena: With an atrocious accent, no doubt.

Bob: I speak most Spanish. Justus speaks second most. Peter, third most.

Peter: I don't speak Spanish.

Bob: Like I said. Third best.

[liebgoth]

Aldo Raine: bone app the teeth

[brittanythescrivener]

Aldo: I found a kitten.

Utivich: ...

Aldo: By ‘kitten’ I mean beer and by ‘found’ I mean drank. I have found a lot of kittens tonight.

Utivich: You need help.

[uranniumgirls]

Archie, angry: So first of all Lieutenant Raine!-

Aldo, mocking: *Luf-tenant*

Archie: SHUT IT!!

[callitcoulson]

loki: you’ll be shot for this clint: nah, I don’t think so. more like chewed out. i’ve been chewed out before.

[g3rmtonium]

Shosanna: Go ask him out, pussy

Fredrick: but what if he doesn’t like me?

Shosanna: I’m gonna beat his ass, that’s what

[uranniumgirls]

Archie, writing 17 love letters a night: Is this too much?

Aldo, illiterate: …nah

[g3rmtonium]

Archie: …Someone help.

Donny: what? whatdya do?

Archie: The water is burning.

Donny: …what

Archie: I BURNT THE BLOODY WATER AND NOW IT’S- BLOODY FUCK- ITS SPREADING-

[g3rmtonium]

Archie: WHERE’S ALDO?!

Donny: Where’s Waldo??

Omar: Oh, Aldo’s on a tractor

Donny: Oh he said Aldo, sorry, I can’t understand British accents

Omar: He said Aldo clearly though??

[g3rmtonium]

Archie: you eat so sloppily.

Aldo: Ya weren’t complainin’ last night

Archie:

Aldo:

Archie: Damn americans…

Aldo: ya love me, don’ lie bout it