#incorrect class act quotes

[drama-glob]

Incorrect Helluva Boss Quotes

(IMP has a new mission for their business)

Moxxie (Gives one last check through their supplies and asks): Okay, everyone ready?

Blitz (Confidently points a thumb at himself): I was born ready...and premature!

Moxxie (-_-)

__________________________________________________________

(Blitz comes across Fizz being pinned down and kissed by what looks like a stranger, unaware that it's Ozzie in disguise, and his protective instincts kick in)

Blitz (Runs over there, raises his arms into the air and screams): AAAARRGH! (Fizz and Ozzie turn over, looking at him with confusion)

Fizz (Visibly pissed and flustered): What are you doing?!

Blitz (Still has his arms raised and yells): I'm trying to scare off a bear!

[koko-heads]

[at rory's funeral]

ajay: *places his hand on the headstone and sobs*

ajay: how could you do this to me? we are so understaffed.

[lover-also-fighter-also]

Incorrect quotes

Some incorrect quotes made with this generator for my MC's. Hope you like it!

Tagging @choicesmc

Anitha: Stop doing that. Griffin: Stop doing what? Anitha: Saying things that make me wanna kiss the hell out of you.

Flynn : Tanya , you love me, right? Tanya : Normally I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere I won’t like.

Aurora : Fight me! Harshith : gets on one knee and pulls out a ringHarshith : Fight me for the rest of our lives.

Maria: Can I have your number? Ria, visible texting: I don't have a phone.

Mila : You have an impressive pain tolerance. Skye : Thanks, it's the trauma.

Anitha : Where’s Atlas? Zeph: Doing stuff. Anitha: I don’t like the sound of that. Where’s Shreya? Zeph: Trying to stop Atlas from doing the stuff. Anitha: And Griffin? Zeph: Trying to stop Shreya from stopping Atlas from doing the stuff. Anitha: I see. And what are you doing here, Zeph? Zeph: I’m supposed to stop you from stopping Griffin from stopping Shreya from stopping Atlas from doing the stuff.

Tanya: I woke up and chose VIOLENCE. I WILL COMMIT ARSON AND BURN EVERYTHING TO THE GROUND!!! I AM ANGRY- Flynn : Awwww, you’re so adorable! Give me a hug~ Tanya : Wh-What? nO, yOURE SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED OF ME! TREMBLE BEFORE MY WRATH- Grant, recording: This is so cute.

Harshith, being robbed: Please! Have mercy! I have a family! A wife and kids… a dog… Jackie: Literally none of that is true, Harshith. Harshith : Okay, but I’m sexy! That’s gotta count for something, right?

Emma: Ooh, somebody has a crush Ria: Pfft, I don’t have a crush on Maria I just think they’re cool, it’s not like I stay up at night thinking about her. *Later that night* Ria, very much awake: Uh oh.

Mila : It's pretty cold outside.. wanna hold hands? We should stay close. Skye, blushing: Okay. Ajay: It's fucking summer.

Anitha : You were wise to seek help from the world's most deadly weapon. Anitha : It's me. Tanya: I’m not like other girls. I’m way, way worse.

Harshith: I would never say that my partner is a bitch and I don’t don’t like them. That’s not true… My partner is a bitch and I like them so much!

Ria: I would never say that my partner is a bitch and I don’t don’t like them. That’s not true… My partner is a bitch and I like them so much!

Mila : Pros and cons of dating me. Mila : Pros. You'll be the cute one. Mila : Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-

In response to receiving a gift Skye : You didn’t have to get this for me… Maria : S-stupid! Now I HAVE to get you something! Flynn : Th-thanks, but why? Griffin: Oh my! I can’t accept a gift like this! Aurora: Did you keep the receipt?

[splat-goes-the-nat]

Wanda (to Pietro): why do you crush all your food to powder? Like remember that poptart that was just. An edible sandbag? Why do you hate food

[jayjtheunsispiciousmelodicathem]

I believe that play (drama, comedy etc.) should be a more popular genre for fanfiction (if there's any fanfiction written like that in the first place).

[nor-4]

Formula 1 Incorrect Quotes with reader Two

F1IQ - Part One

Y/n: Bitch why don't you shut the fuck up before i slit your throat and watch the honor roll out?

Max: Are you threatening me??

Y/n: No, I'm hitting on you, flash me a titty bitch.

Lewis: Yeah uh, there's something I've been wanting to say lately.

Y/n: Oh what's that?

Lewis: The N-Word

Y/n looking at toto: Look at your dad. Such a dork, keeping bees.

Y/n: I mean atleast it's interesting though. At least like, i wish my dad kept bees.

Y/n: I mean it's kind of cute. Like, your dad keeps bees.

Y/n: How old is your dad? He's obviously beekeeping age. I dont know. I think It's kind of sweet.

Y/n: George, i wanna fuck your dad.

George: Oh really?

Yuki: Hey can i sit with you?

Y/n: Why

Yuki looking at stroll and ocon: The kids at the other table keep throwing ketchup packets at me.

Y/n: You're not covered in ketchup, though

Yuki: They don't know you have to open it first

Y/n: Damn. We need remedial bullying class too.

Yuki: So how do you like your remedial english?

Y/n: I guess it's whatever. My mom was really pissed, though.

Yuki: Yeah? What about your dad?

Y/n: My dad killed himself.

Charles: I'm finally seeing someone good for me.

Alex: Omg who is it?

Charles: A therapist

Y/n: max is pissing me off *20 minutes ago*

Y/n: nvm just got dicked down

George: Girl what..

Fernando: Every time i talk to you i feel confused.

Fernando: I've never met anyone that speaks like you do

Y/n: Stop lovebombing me

Fernando: what? It's not a compliment

Fernando: You scare me

Y/n: What are you hiding from me?

Zhou: Nothing..

Y/n: Zhou Guanyu.

Zhou pulls out a cat: The cat distribution system chose me okay

Y/n at drive to survive: If he cheats on you, put hair remover in his shampoo, you wanna act like Andrew tate, u gon look like him too.

Lewis wearing a beanie: I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS FOREVER

Toto: That's your fault. Being too quick signing your seat with ferrari

Oscar: Are you high?

Lando: Am i what?

Oscar: High

Lando: Hello

Christian: So what could a Mercedes principal possibly have then?

Y/n: I just feel like he'd be into satan-worship, or at the very least have a sex diary.

Christian: A toto wolff sex diary would be horrifying. He's like our rival.

Y/n: We say that about Stephen king books, we still read those.

Daniel: "Dear diary, hot candle wax hurts so good"

Christian: No it'd probably be like a thesaurus of words for "Good"

Daniel: Yeah he probably sexts with perfect grammar.

Y/n: "My wife showed an exquisite exhibition of lust for me."

Toto: Let me try something different here. Do you guys have thoughts and feelings for one another?

Y/n: Uhh i think George's kinda spoiled

George: And i feel like y/n's a bitch

Y/n: What're you gay?

Alex: What.. How did you know? I've never told anyone that.

Y/n: Dude look at your hair dye, you're either gay or color blind.

Lance: bro stop chanting in dead language's your scaring the hoes

Y/n: Bitch you is so lonely I'm summoning the hoes

Sebastian: You used to be shy, now you're a whore

Y/n: There's a thing called character development

Oscar: Reminder that I'm very sweet and endearing so be nice to me

Carlos: or what

Oscar: or I'll punch your lights out

Hey yall this is a bit short cause I'm finna make a random crack twitter posts n I'll post it in the most random day. I love yall baby💋

[prodigal-explorer]

friendly reminder to the sanders sides fandom that patton knows just as much about sex and curse words and other impure things as the other sides.

like he definitely knows where fucking babies come from. there’s no way he couldn’t because he is connected to thomas and thomas knows where babies come from.

patton was in thomas’ mind when thomas was in health class or with his parents and learning about that stuff.

patton is not some innocent little baby who magically knows nothing about every impure thing he’s literally just pretending because a huge part of what he does for thomas is censor the “bad” stuff. he censors thomas’ thoughts because he wants thomas to have a “pure” state of mind. so of course he acts innocent so that the other sides stop talking about it and so viewers who maybe don’t know these things don’t get to learn. (and so he can seem more pure and innocent to the viewers and to thomas-)

i’m just so sick of seeing like incorrect quotes where the only punchline is “patton is just an innocent baby who doesn’t understand sex 🥺” like PACK IT UPPPP he’s a fucking GROWN ASS ADULT.

[thatguywhodoesstuff]

Another Round Of J X Thad Incorrect Quotes

(I want to thank everyone for the positive reception of this post, it was really encouraging given how niche this ship is.)

———

Thad: Sometimes, I’m embarrassed to be dating J, because one time while we were in class, she yelled at the teacher and told him to shove a marker up his urethra. (Breaks down laughing)

———

J: This is a bad idea.

Thad: Then why are you coming?

J: Someone has to get your injured ass home.

———

J: (Softly) I want to kiss you.

Thad: (Turns to look at her) What?

J: I said if you die, I wont miss you!

———

J: Crushes are the worst. Whenever I’m near mine, I start acting stupid.

Thad: But you always act stupid. Wait…

J: (Sweat appears on her visor)

———

J: Relationships should be 50/50. Thad cooks me dinner, while I sit on the kitchen counter looking pretty as I supervise him.

———

Thad: You have to apologize to N, J.

J: Ugh, fine! But I have to warn you, this might make me a better, nicer person and that is NOT the person you fell in love with!

———

Thad: I want to be with you for the rest of my life.

J: Wow, if I didn’t know better, I’d say that sounds like a marriage proposal.

Thad: (Gets down on one knee) That’s because it is.

J: (Blushes aggressively)

———

Uzi: (Shyly) If I fall…

N: (Warmly) I’ll be there to catch you.

Lizzy: (Looks up from her phone) What if I fall?

V: Then I’ll fall with you.

Thad: (Turns towards J) And if I fall?

J: (Looking at a clipboard) I’ll be the one who pushed you.

———

Thad: (Infodumping about sports)

J: Ugh… Stop doing that.

Thad: (Confused) Stop doing what?

J: (Crosses her arms & looks away, lightly blushing) Saying things that make me want to kiss the hell out of you.

———

J: How… How do you ask someone out?

N: Well, first-

Uzi: Don’t listen to him, he asked me out in an underground lab cathedral.

J: …And you said yes?

Uzi: B-bite me!

(Later, after a bunch of shenanigans)

J: I’m in love with you.

Thad: Oh come on J, we called off the prank war hours ago.

J: …I know

Thad: Ah. Okay. Uh… Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

———

Thad: Could you cut me some slack, J? I’m sort of in love.

J: (Unmoved) That’s really not my problem.

Thad: (Exasperated) I’m in love with you.

J: (Blushes) Oh… Well, that kind of brings me into the loop.

———

J: My crush isn’t picking up on my hints.

Lizzy: Have you dropped any hints?

J: Well, I think about him a lot and sometimes I even think about talking to him.

Lizzy: (Gives her a look that screams “Seriously?”)

———

Thad: So… You like cats?

J: Yeah.

Thad: (Tries to impress her by slowly pushing a glass off of the table)

———

Thad: Uh… Are you trying to seduce me?

J: (Laying before Thad surrounded by candles, her tie loose and collar flared) Why, are you seducible?~

———

Thad: (Somberly) J and I are no longer dating.

J: Thad! That’s a terrible way of telling people we’re married!

Thad: (Chuckles)

———

V: Do you love Thad?

J: …Yes. I do.

V: I knew it! I told you, Uzi! You owe me 100 bucks!

Uzi: Wha-? We all love Thad! You should’ve asked if she was in love with him.

J: I thought that was implied.

Uzi: (Stares dumbfounded while handing $100 to V)

V: (Accepts the cash with a smug grin)

———

J: Goodnight to the love of my life, Thad, and fuck the rest of you.

———

N: (Trying to be supportive) Just be yourself.

J: Really? N, I have one day to win over Thad’s parents. (Turns to the rest of the group) How long did it take for you guys to like me?

Lizzy: A couple weeks.

V: Six months.

Uzi: The jury’s still out.

J: See N? “Just be yourself,” what kind of stupid advice is that!?

———

Khan: So, are you going to explain how the hell you crashed the bus?

J: Well, we were driving and there was a deer in the road, so I said “Thad, deer!”

Khan: (Casts a look at a nervous Thad, who has been silent since they made it back to the colony) …And what did Thad do?

J: …He said “Yes, honey?”

Thad: (Buries his face in his hands)

———

Thad: Do… Do you love me?

J: We are literally married.

Thad: Yeah, but as a friend or-

J: (Pulls him into a kiss) Does that answer your question?~

Thad: (Nods dreamily)

———

Uzi: (Watching the news) This sucks.

J: This is horrible.

Uzi: I know! I mean, look at today’s news.

J: What? No, it’s not that, it’s Thad.

(Uzi looks at her confused)

J: It’s just, I can’t get him out of my head and every time I look at him, I have this pain in my core, and I just know its his fault, that son of a bitch!

———

N: How is the most beautiful person in the world?

Uzi: (Blushing) I-

J: Thad is doing perfect, thanks for asking.

———

Thad: That was so hot, J.

J: I literally called the skank who just flirted with you a degenerate dog and told her I hope she gets dragged through the streets.

Thad: I am so in love with you.

———

J: My hands are cold.

Thad: Here, let me hold them.

J: (Lightly blushing) My lips are cold too.

Thad: (Covers J’s face with his hand)

———

(At 3 in the morning)

(Lizzy and V run into Thad’s room with air horns and turn on the lights)

Lizzy: Wake up sleepyhead!

Thad: (Wakes up) Ugh, dude!

(Lizzy and V laugh)

J: (Sits up from where she was sleeping behind Thad) What the fuck are you two doing?

V: (Jaw drops)

Lizzy: Wait WHAT-

(J deploys a machine gun and fires at them)

———

[thisbelongsto-nohbodys]

Sorry if you answered this before, but what are the worst exes that Sashannarcy had?

I think I’ve done a few incorrect quotes about exes and a comic of the Trio dealing with exes and laying claim on the other. Tho’ if I had to think of non-comedic exes, then, let’s see…

Sasha: A boyfriend in high school, it was shortly after she came out as bi, he then tried to pressure her into a threesome with another girl but she didn’t want to and as a former war criminal she wouldn’t be intimidated. After they broke up he’d start shit when they were in the same room, eventually Anne overheard one of their arguments and went to stop it but Sasha tried to usher Anne away for safety. Noticing the look Sasha gave Anne, he then said something along the line of “So if I’d’ve suggested Anne be our third then you would’ve done the threesome”, before Anne was able to do anything, Sasha tackled him in a rage and beat him. Luckily the encounter was recorded and with other’s supporting Sasha (and Anne talking to the principal) she just got a few weeks in-school suspension while he got out-of-school suspension. After that the school made sure Sasha and him had no classes together.

Anne: The first girlfriend she had in college (and 2nd overall) was also in the biology/zoology department Anne was in. However she thought that because she was a general studies and not specialized like Anne with herpetology. Anne wanted to look past the arrogance but eventually realized that her gf was acting like how Sasha used to before Amphibia and then decided to break up with her if she refuses to change. The conversation did not go well and they broke up. Anne wanted to call Sasharcy or text them on their group text but didn’t want to bother them since it’d been so long (and she didn’t tell them about her now ex gf). The unfortunate thing is that Anne had to keep seeing her due to them in the same classes (and her ex would both flaunt her new partner and studies)

Marcy: The unfortunate part of how lovable a nerd Marcy is that ppl will fall for her and she’d never notice. One instance being one of the boys in a nerd club in high school became obsessed with Marcy due to her kindness, lovableness and nerdy pursuits. He pretty much became a stalker and worshiped her while she had no idea who he was. When Marcy announced she was dating someone, he went crazy, luckily others were around and she still had her Ranger training and was able to deal with him then and there. The only friends Marcy told was Luz and Sasha (both of whom offered to get rid of him….Marcy considered it)

[ur-local-bisexual]

HEARTSTOPPER INCORRECT QUOTES

Tao: Sir, can I listen to music?

Mr. Farouk: No Tao, you could be cheating!

Tao: Oh ya! Because Ed Sheeran gonna sing to me isn’t he! *eye roll*

Mr. Farouk: Tao, are you mocking me!?

Tao: Yes! That’s what I do when someone says something stupid!

Mr. Farouk: Also, Darcy! Why do you have your feet up on the desk?! Would you do that at home!?!???!

Darcy: Would I put my feet up at home? Yes you moron!

Mr. Farouk: Apologize for that right now!

Darcy: But whyyyyyyyy?!?!

Mr. Farouk: Until you apologize, you’re not going to lunch

Darcy: I don’t care! The food here tastes worse than your nans feet!

Mr. Farouk: It’s your time you’re wasting!

Darcy: It’s not though is it.

Aled: Sir, don’t act like you don’t want to go see Mr. Ajiei after class!

Mr. Farouk: How the fuck do you know about that!!!????!!!!

Class: *Histarical laughter*

Nick: *Talking to Charlie* Ok, so, you make 10 meals you’re not a chief, you make 20 paintings you’re not an artist!

Charlie: *See’s Ben lying on the floor*

Nick: BUT YOU KILL ONE PERSON!!!!

Charlie: I’m going to a party

Tori: Are you going to get drunk?

Charlie: No

Tori: Are you gonna get in fight?

Charlie: No

Tori: Are you gonna get dick?

Charlie: No

Tori: Then why the fuck do you wanna go to a party?!

Tori: Some people have a boyfriend

Charlie: *blinks*

Tori: Some people have a girlfriend

Charlie: *blinks*

Tori: But IM stuck with DEPRESSION!!!???

Charlie: You wanna know how I’m like a bicycle?

Nick: Because when people learn how to ride you, they never forget. *smirks*

Charlie: *blushes* I..I was gonna say because I was 2 tired 😳

Charlie: My boyfriend is too tall for me to kiss him on the lips. What should I do?

Tori: Punch him in the gut and when he doubles over in pain, kiss him.

Elle: Tackle him!

Tao: Dump him!

Darcy: KICK HIM IN THE SHIN!!!

Nick: NO! TO ALL OF THOSE! Just ask me to lean over!

Imogen: *About Ben*Look at that face! How can anyone spend all day with that face and not fall in love?

Nick: Well, at some point that face starts talking.

Charlie: Tell me something I don't know.

Tori: Without mucus, your stomach would digest itself.

Charlie: Tell me something else. Something less disturbing.

Charlie: Quick, take my hand!

Nick: *Takes it* Now what?

Charlie: Oh nothing, I just wanted to hold hands.

Tori: I was just having a bad day.

Charlie: You threatened to decapitate a man over a parking space.

Tori: A very bad day.

Darcy: You can de-escalate any tense situation by saying 'Are we about to kiss?'

Darcy: It doesn't work on cops though.

Darcy: I’m invoking the “no judgments” clause of our relationship.

Tara: Oh God, what did you do this time?

Harry: So Nick, are you hanging out with us tonight?

Nick: Sorry guys, I can't. Charlie and I have plans.

Harry: Oh come on! Bros before ho-

Nick: *Glares*

Harry: ...Your boyfriend.

Tao: There's nothing sadder that cold hot chocolate.

Aled: Sure there is! What about cold hot chocolate with ketchup in it?

Tao: ...I'm going to pretend you didn't say that.

Charlie: How many times have I told you not to bring wild animals into our apartment?!

Nick: ...None?

Charlie: I shouldn't have to tell you!

Elle: You can't rush perfection.

Tao: I'm not rushing perfection, I'm rushing you.

Darcy: I have good news and bad news.

Tara: What's the bad news?

Darcy: The kangaroo pooped in the shower.

Tara: We don't have a kangaroo.

Darcy: Well, that takes me to the good news.

Nick: I wasn't that drunk last night.

Charlie: You kept flirting with me.

Nick: So?

Charlie: You asked if I was single. And cried when I said no.

Charlie: Hey sweetie, why are you crying?

Nick: It's just so beautiful how much they love each other!

Charlie: ...This is a commercial.

Charlie: For detergent.

Darcy: Do you think if skeletons were real boner would be a slur for them?

Elle: ....skeletons are real.

Darcy: That's the spirit, Elle. They're real for me too.

Elle: You're the most jealous guy I know!

Tao: You know other guys? Who are they?

Nick: I know I've been talking about him all morning, but another thing that I love about Charlie is that he just gets me.

Tao: Can he come get you right now?

[charsawdeath]

That first obe XDDDDDD OMG NOOO XXDDDDD

Incorrect Helluva Boss Quotes

(IMP has a new mission for their business)

Moxxie (Gives one last check through their supplies and asks): Okay, everyone ready?

Blitz (Confidently points a thumb at himself): I was born ready...and premature!

Moxxie (-_-)

__________________________________________________________

(Blitz comes across Fizz being pinned down and kissed by what looks like a stranger, unaware that it's Ozzie in disguise, and his protective instincts kick in)

Blitz (Runs over there, raises his arms into the air and screams): AAAARRGH! (Fizz and Ozzie turn over, looking at him with confusion)

Fizz (Visibly pissed and flustered): What are you doing?!

Blitz (Still has his arms raised and yells): I'm trying to scare off a bear!

[koko-heads]

felix: hi, i need to book a doctor's appointment, please.

receptionist, checking the bookings: okay, how about 10 tomorrow?

felix: it's okay, i don't need that many

[gipzisays209]

No way! I feel flattered!!!

Remember what I said before? About the sysmed server not knowing I exist? Well! It appears as though that would now be an incorrect statement! (More under the cut)

Let's go at this like it's English class, shall we? Dissect this post for it's contents?

"If you get this server taken down, we'll just make another server. ... If it comes to that, we'll just share the links in private GCs ..."

Well. Ain't that a kick in the head! If one server gets taken down, it's entirely possible to take another one down for the exact same reason! And saying you'll only hand out links privately... hate to break it to ya, but I, the host, am a Theatre kid. Acting is a hobby, and one I'm damn good at. You hand out links privately, only to people you deem trustworthy? Honey, that is my forte. ;)

"You're getting mad and defensive over us calling you out ... Instead of wasting your time reporting our server, maybe focus your energy on reporting servers that are actually harming people?"

Whoa, slow down there, hoss. Take a breather. You ever thought about why we're here? In your Discord? Taking screenshots and leaking them?

It's because, surprise surprise, fakeclaiming is harmful. It doesn't matter what it is, if you're getting fakeclaimed over a unique and individual experience/identity, that can (and sometimes will, sadly) cause a spiral that can lead to some nasty places. Depression. Isolation.

Even places like self-harm and suicide.

We are here because your server is harmful. We are here because you present an active threat to the community. But of course your HIGHNESS can't bear to think they're the problem!

"Addressing the ban claims, at one point we did ban a lot of faker systems from our server while rooting out a mole. Everyone from that event has since been unbanned. If you are still banned, its for a reason. Claims of us 'banning just because we can' are false. I could take a screenshot of our ban list and give a reason for every single one."

*Sips cup*

Yeah, I think we can move on from this one.

And now, the quote I've been so desperately wanting to address...

"Gip, because I know you’re in here, kindly stop sucking Ghost’s dick and get your own opinions, it would do everyone good. That goes for all of his little zombie followers. If your lives revolve around people on an online messaging app screwing around, re-evaluate your life choices."

Wow, where do I start with this one?

Blatant misgendering, bordeline going against their own rules when it comes to naming people on the server- I have 20 followers! And even then, you're still going to drop a version of my username? Just like that? Mmmmm...

I have my own opinions, thanks. I don't need a circlejerk discord to make me feel better about my own shitty fucking existence, cuz I have the balls to outright admit I'm a petty asshole with no fucking life. And my opinion is that people like Sophie, people like Cambrian and Lunastas and Guardian- all of them are fucking right. They have all proven they do their goddamn research, they actually give back to the communities they inhabit, and most of all, they aren't leeching off of people just by fucking existing, as hard as it is for you guys to believe.

(Also, if you're gonna insult someone, get it fucking right lmfao. Ghost is the goddamn host, Sophie is not Ghost. Two different people. Also, I'm fucking Asexual, so um, projecting much?)

Wow. As of writing this, they literally just got worse!

Well. You see, while I personally choose to censor Discord usernames to close loopholes like this, it's actually not the same as if you sent a Tumblr handle. What you're seeing in those screenshots are not identifiers, they are server nicknames. Which are specific to THAT SERVER ONLY. Unlike places like Tumblr and Twitter, where seeing your name automatically means someone can find you, on Discord it's actually not possible (that I know of) to doxx someone through a server nickname alone. So no, actually, Sophie didn't leave your username out there, only a server nickname, and the two are not the same. So yes, actually. Because Discord is it's own site with it's own way of handling usernames, it is perfectly acceptable what Sophie did (although not perfectly ideal), because nobody is going to be able to use those names alone to doxx and/or harass.

And finally, the final update as of writing this post... the almighty @ everyone ping...

Damn. I don't even have to AP English IV this shit, they already did it for me!

To sum it all up, phew... I guess I'm a target now! Which I'm honestly pretty damn fine with! But just know, I don't fuckin hold back. I will be a bitch for the sake of being a bitch, because I don't care how petty I am. I don't care about what people think of me, or whatever the fuck you could ever do to me.

I care about defending people from the likes of you.

So go on. Give me your best shot, then. You have the balls to call me out in front of your entire Discord server?

Challenge accepted, motherfucker.

Challenge accepted, motherfucker.

Challenge accepted.

Let's get 'em, bitches!

[feral-shfiting-stuff]

Incorrect quotes in my dr

Got bored in class and decided to do some of these

(Very beefy post ahead)

—————————————————————————————————————————

Miles: Which country has the most birds?

Miles: Portu-geese!

Ko: That's a language.

Miles: Portu-gull?

Ko: Good recovery.

Anne: I think you mean good re-dovery.

Miles: Which country has the most birds?

Sonic: TURKEY. HOW DID WE MISS TURKEY?

Me: A decision had to be made.

Miles: And you fucked it up!

Me: When I see initials carved into a tree with a heart I think it’s so romantic. Two lovers on a date... one of them carrying a knife for some reason.

Sora, looking at a map: It’s a barren, featureless wasteland out there, isn't it?

Me: Other side, Sora...

—————————————————————————————————————————

Roxas walking into the kitchen and seeing all their limes peeled: Xion, I love you but, what the h-e-double FUCK.

Xion:sipping coffee happily: I love you too :)

Me: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.

Roxas: I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting stupid.

Me: But you’re always acting stupid?

Roxas: ...

Roxas: Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.

Me: Can I have 2 straws with that milkshake?

Xion: Aww-

Me: With 2 straws, I can drink it double as fast!

Roxas: You have to apologize to them Xion.

Xion: Fine! But I must warn you that this might make me a better, nicer person and that is NOT the person you fell in love with!

—————————————————————————————————————————

Jacko: Me, I’m sorry. I can’t keep seeing you anymore.

Me: No shit, you’re always wearing sunglasses.

Jacko: Me… no…

Me: Man, I’m gonna get fat if you keep feeding me all these chips and junk!

Sol: I’M NOT! I was eating them and you took them.

Me: You said I should try some!

Sol: I said they were good.

Me: That’s not how I heard it.

Me: What is wrong with you?

Jacko: Many, many things...

Jacko: And most of them are your fucking fault.

Me: We’ll get back into there or die trying.

Sol: No one’s dying.

Me: Not with that attitude.

—————————————————————————————————————————

Me: What’s your body count?

I-no: Do you mean sex or murder?

Uzi: Don't worry, I've got a few knives up my sleeve.

Me: I think you mean cards.

N: They did not.

Uzi:pulling out knives: I did not.

Xemmas: Do you have any idea what you’re doing?

Me: Why start now?

Axel: We all have our demons.

Axel, grabbing Me: This one’s mine.

[fanfic-corner]

Tony Stark Has a Heart Fic Recs pt 2

Hello everyone!! I still have plenty of fics with this tag left in my bookmarks, so we're back for a part 2! I hope you enjoy reading them <3

You can find part one here.

xvii. drugged by tempestaurora (2.3k)

“Well,” the doctor said, “it seems you two can only tell the truth. I’ll call the team in to start working on a fix, but I do recommend you don’t leave the tower in case you say something you usually wouldn’t.”

“I’ll be fine,” Peter said.

The doctor raised an eyebrow but didn’t look at him. “Peter, are you Spiderman?”

“Yes.” Peter blinked. “I see your point.”

Peter Parker's Incorrect Quotes Page by EmilyWeaslette (2.5k)

Peter opens an 'incorrect quotes' account for the Avengers on Twitter, without telling them. When the team discovers the account, and Peter is too embarassed to come forward as it's creator, panic and hilarity ensue as the team try to figure out how private conversations are being eavesdropped on. Peter's just trying to avoid being caught.

Besides.

It was all Shuri's idea.

Candy from Strangers by peter_parkr (2.8k)

Peter heard footsteps approaching the bathroom. Tony pushed the door open and hesitantly poked his head in.

"Oh, shit." His eyes were met with the sight of Peter, whiter than a ghost, crumpled on the floor in fetal position. Peter tried to smile up at Tony, but it came out as more of a grimace.

"Hey, ms'r strk. Welcome to my h'me." Peter flopped his arm over on the floor in greeting. Tony sighed... this was going to be a long night.

Where my heart lies by Maicaly (3.5k)

Peter Stark is taken from his school's parking lot, and 46 hours later, Tony receives a message with a location. Steve, Rhodey and Sam follow him to an abandoned building with a unpleasant surprise inside - that will put Tony's nerves at test.

Repeat After Me by battybatzgirl (3.8k)

Tony’s face hardens as he says, “What kid.”

“I don’t know, some twelve year old—”

Below him, the kid coughs out, “Fifteen.”

“—Fifteen year old—”

Tony scrubs a hand across his face. “Don’t tell me he’s wearing a dorky shirt with a chemistry pun on it.”

Rhodey frowns. That was oddly specific. Glancing down, he looks at what little he can see of the kid’s shirt—which isn't much since there’s so much blood now, but what could be once called a cartoon joke is printed on it. “Um, yeah?”

“Son of a bitch.”

Love, hate on by madasthesea (3.9k)

She’d planned for this moment for two years, seven months, and eighteen days: As she’d stood above her daughter’s freshly dug grave, she’d decided that Tony Stark would die by her hand. And now was her moment.

She had only intended to grab Stark, tell him what he’d done that merited the punishment she was going to give, and kill him fast before anyone started looking. But here was this kid, an act of providence.

She didn’t have to tell Stark now, she could show him. She could make him suffer like she’d suffered, make him pay for his crimes. An eye for an eye, a child for a child.

kidnapping by killerqueenwrites (4.6k)

Steve wakes up cuffed to a chair, which is kind of annoying considering he has a meeting today. 

He’s just coming to the conclusion that he really might be in trouble when he notices the kid across from him.

or Steve and Peter get some bonding time, and Tony is freaking out.

Um, I'm Invoking Parental Rights by teaandtumblr (5.8k)

5 times Peter calls Tony "dad" to bail him out, and the 1 time he means it.

Perhaps He's Not Missing Out After All. by NotYoCheese (6.6k)

Peter is devastated after he is told that he is not allowed to go on the field trip with the rest of his class tomorrow. Tony steps in and tells him that he can stay at the tower on the day of the field trip. Only, Peter didn't realize that the field trip was to the tower, and guess who the lucky intern who gets to give them a tour is . . .

Featuring a shocked class that finds out that Peter isn't lying, a very angry Flash, and maybe even some IronDad Fluff

Planes, Trains, and the Trauma Response by imgoingtocrash and savvysass (6.9k)

The world around him is solid. It makes sense. Despite the existence of aliens and literal gods in their galaxy—the science of it all makes sense. They just have yet to figure it all out.

Then he’d been thrown into a spiral of falsehoods—one after another, all so fast, all so real—and suddenly he’s in

the Netherlands. It’s too nice compared to the horrors he became used to—a far cry from the real world: a world of dead parents, dead uncles, and half of a universe, dead with the snap of one creature’s fingers.

Where once there was certainty…now there’s fragility.

So, when he sees Tony step out of the plane instead of Happy…he falters.

Mr Stark Enough For You? (another field trip fic bcs we dont have enough) by Livinei (7k)

Peter isn’t worried because he thinks Tony won’t say yes, he’s worried because he’s sure Tony will. And he’s not sure how he feels about having his entire class waltzing around the place where he spends practically more time than in his own home, where he has his own room, and where he regularly eats Lucky Charms with one of the most influential men in the country, in his pajamas. Not that they’d ever know any of that. Tour groups don’t go to the living quarters of the Tower anyways, they hardly ever go past the 50th floor, Peter knows that. And it isn’t fair to his class if he doesn’t ask just because he…spends a lot of time there?

Yeah, Peter sighs, he has to ask. He promised, anyways.

you'll always get there first by crowkag (7k)

Home, home, home home home. It played on loop in Peter’s brain, loud and tumbling and distracting…

But not in a way that would have him miss the silver Audi speeding toward him in the opposite direction, a sight that made him do a double-take for two reasons.

One, because the fancy car was a foreign presence after nothing but rusty, dented Ford pickups for the past hour.

And two, he was pretty sure that was Tony in the driver’s seat.

Peter Parker's Super Secret Snack Stash by coconutknightshade (7k)

"It's D, Peter. We talked about this."

“No it’s not, Ned. Because if it were D then I would be wrong and that would put me at a 65% already on this practice exam and we haven’t even gotten through it all. I can’t fail another history exam, Ned! This last one is worth 60% of our grade! If I fail this final then I’ll fail the class and if I fail the class then I’ll be kicked out of school-”

“You’re top of our year, Peter.” You can almost hear Ned’s eye roll as he talks over Peter.

“- and if I’m kicked out of school then I’ll be forced to live on the streets exchanging sexual favors for money and I can’t do that, Ned! I wouldn’t even know what to charge- I mean, what’s the street value of a blow job, Ned? Do you know? Because I sure as shit don’t.” At this point Ned is outright giggling over Peter’s theatrics.

Pickle Starburst by Bergen (7.5k)

One mundane evening, an awkward, wide-eyed teenager with strange enhanced abilities tumbles into Tony’s office and claims he is from the year 2017, twelve years into the future.

Tony doesn’t really do kids. Or whack jobs. So a combination of the two is a challenge.

But when has Tony ever backed down from a challenge?

for the love of freefall by sagemb (7.9k)

Happy does not, in fact, pick Peter up on Wednesday. Instead, when he and Ned walk out of the school building, there’s a small crowd gathering next to a convertible orange Audi R8 idling in the fire lane. A man with a familiar goatee and rose-colored sunglasses is sitting in the driver’s seat.

Peter’s brain short-circuits for a second.

5 Times Peter Sleepwalked And The 1 Time He Pretended He Did by losingmymindtonight (8.7k)

Peter sleepwalks, Tony stresses.

Man in a Can by JinxQuickfoot (10k)

Peter could hear the voices floating down to him, muffled by the floorboards nailed into place above his head and cemented over with the industrial strength tiles that made up Tony’s workshop floor. The last thing he had remembered was a dark figure appearing over him in bed, then he had woken up here, groggy and exhausted and unable to move.

Unable to move because whoever had grabbed him had covered him in concrete from toes to mouth, repaired Tony’s floor, and left him there.

We Will Foresee Obstacles by blackwatchandromeda (11k)

The war is over. Thanos has been defeated, the population has been restored, and Peter has lost one of the most important people in his life.

After the funeral, Peter meets Harley and Morgan. They're all in the same position, all missing the same person, and it's not long before they come up with a scheme to save him.

That is, if they can pull it off.

When You Assume Wrong by TentativeTreason (14k)

Tony is hiding something.

The Avengers notice the little discrepancies in Tony’s behaviour, and they eventually come to the only conclusion they can think of: Tony is having an affair.

Five Times Peter Parker Pretended to Be Asleep by blondsak (16k)

...and the one time he actually was.

Or: sometimes, faking sleep can work to your advantage. When it comes to trying to fool a certain genius, overprotective, superhero mentor, Peter finds this to be doubly true.

Definitely Worth It by jennylarner (16k)

Peter doesn't want to go on a field trip to Stark Tower. It's a recipe for disaster. His class doesn't believe him, his teacher doesn't believe him. If he makes it through the entire day without being suspended, it'll be a miracle. Unfortunately for Peter, he's never much believed in miracles.

What I Really Need is You by happyaspie (18k)

Five Things Peter Needs From Tony and One Thing He Wants.

@ironman follows you by malyin_roza (27k)

“Eighteen detentions last month alone, disgraceful amount of absent hours – often odd classes mid-day or half a day. I won’t mention the after-class clubs, or nerd groups, or whatever it is you do for ‘fun’ that actually counts in to your records anyway.”

Peter sat frozen on the spot, his face growing hot and red after rapidly paling when Tony began talking.

“I – I – look, I, let me explain – “

“That’s,” Tony pointed at him, silencing with one look, “that’s where we might start.”

“Start?” the teen repeated uneasily.

Sweet Jesus, what did he have on him?

“I solved it all, you’re welcome.”

A beat of silence as Peter blinked at him.

Cloak and Dagger by Velnetta (34k)

After being kidnapped with some of earth’s greatest defenders, Peter is grateful that it appears that their captors aren’t aware that he’s Spider-man.

The problem? To the Avengers, he's just Tony Stark's teenage intern- and Peter intends to keep it that way.

turn back the clock (and I'll try again in the morning) by madasthesea (35k)

Peter gets stuck in a time loop. In it, he lives through some of his worst nightmares, only to wake up that morning and have no one remember. He needs Tony to help him get through.

And if that isn't bad enough, his identity is revealed over and over, every day.

Time to Pretend by Rowan_M (38k)

A villain attacking New York sends an injured Peter back in time to the year 2000. Not knowing how to get home, Peter asks Tony Stark for help and ends up finding out a lot about his and Tony's past.

Peter is given an opportunity to change the future, or leave things be.

In My Dreams by MaryaDmitrievnaLikesSundays (48k)

Red.

Red was quite the color.

The color of love, the color of hate.

The color of glowing cheeks under a streetlight, of smiling lips and sweet rose petals. The color of a sour lollipop in a child’s young hand.

The color of war, of blood, of pain. The color that plagued the nightmares of the bravest men.

Yes, red was quite a few things at once, but right now, it was the color that coated Peter Parker’s hands as he stumbled away from the warm corpses of his aunt and uncle, silhouetted cruelly by the neon store signs, and into the unknown of a quiet, star-dotted night in Queens.

A Hundred Feet Under by thisisnotourlasthunt (59k)

Months after the events in Civil War, a chemical outbreak causes the whole world to fall in a comatose state. The Avengers, who had to reunite when people began to fall, are forced to trap themselves inside a bunker until Bruce Banner and Helen Cho can figure out an antidote. This leads to new friendships to form, and others to heal. All of this a hundred feet underground.

Things go well, until they don't.

While Tony and Steve revisit their actions in Civil War and deal with being a team once again, one of their team members was silently compromised by the chemicals. None of them knew until the effects began to appear. Emotions are shared. The team becomes a family once again and some learn that despite their past actions, there will always be people that will love and care for you. Also, Tony is a stressed dad to a teenager with concerning lack of self preservation skills.

It's a Secret to Everybody by Snapdragon_in_the_Snow (97k)

Peter gets to spend all summer living in Avengers Tower with Tony. When the Rogue Avengers get pardoned and come back to live at the Tower too, they're confused as to who Peter is. However, once they see how Tony acts around Peter, that confusion goes away, as they know for certain who Peter must be - Tony's secret son.

Tony and Peter decide to make the most of the situation, and play along. They hope they can keep up the act all summer. But they soon learn that they barely have to act at all.

built from scraps by peterstank (138k)

“Everybody needs someone. That’s what you said, right?” Pepper meets his eyes and he’s struck by the way she’s almost pleading. “We both lost. We can help each other.”

Her hand, palm up and open, stretches into the space between them.

Peter hesitates.

Then he takes it.

or: the one where tony was dusted instead of peter, so he and pepper try to figure out the whole ‘family’ thing together.

(oh, and it turns out that the man who died in peter’s arms on an alien planet is his biological father. who knew, right?)

Brave as a Noun by edema_ruh (161k)

Some people think that Peter is Tony's son. Why shouldn't they? Peter seems to be orbiting Tony all the time, and it's not like the billionaire tells him off. They have a nice relationship - Peter is glad to have a father figure, and Tony cares for the kid as if he's actually his son.

The first problem regarding this arises when the people who think that Peter is Tony's son kidnap him for ransom.

The second problem regarding this arises when one of the people who kidnaps Peter turns out to be Mac Gargan, the Scorpion, and he's hungry for revenge.

Identity Theft by KitCat992 (267k)

It's been months since the events of Civil War, and the Avengers are doing their best to remain a team, having promised to forgive and forget. Unfortunately for them, Tony Stark's latest invention has been stolen and recovering it causes tension to reappear.

Meanwhile, in Queens, Peter Parker has two main priorities on his plate — complete his midterm finals, and track down a fishbowl wearing criminal that may or may not lead him right into the hands of the Avengers.

Somehow between all of this, Spider-Man's identity is revealed to the Avengers, Steve and Tony's friendship may permanently be damaged due to continued hidden secrets, and Happy struggles to buy a youth-sized casket for Peter's funeral.

Things were a lot easier when they were fighting over Bucky Barnes.

Stab Me in the Back (I'll Catch You From Behind) by Lansfics7 (296k)

"I am going to find Tony," the man hisses in Peter's ear, his gaze cold and cruel. "And when I do, I will kill him, slowly. What do you say to that-" The man stops short because Peter's shoulders are shaking, and before he can curl his lip in victory, he hears a snicker. When he lets go of Peter's hair, the teen's head slumps to his chest, but it's not out of exhaustion or defeat...it's to hide a smile.

The boy lets out a laugh, shaking his head before glancing to the sides admitting apologetically, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, it's just- it is so fun to mess with you!" He looks around before snorting, "Tony Stark? That's your play? You're not screwing with me, right? You actually thought that would work? Sorry guys." Peter straightens in his chair with a sneer and a cocky wink, "Tony doesn't give a flying crap about me."

And that's it! Happy reading, and if you have any other fics to rec with this tag - whether they be yours or your friend's - please share them with me! And, as always, thank you to all the amazing writers who share their works with us.

[ianmalcolmreynolds]

More Spider-Verse x Psych Incorrect Quotes

Hobie: Hey Miguel, collecting donations for the Spider-Man ball?

Miguel: We don’t have balls

Hobie:

Miguel:

Hobie: I honestly don’t have a response to that

Peter B: Guys, please. We need a better name for someone who is both a killer AND an arsonist. How about “Arssassin”?

*later*

Miguel: This could be our killer

Peter B: Furderer

Miguel: …what?

Peter B: Fire murderer. Furderer.

Gwen: You’re acting like a child

Peter B: I AM NOT ACTING

Miles: Gwen? What are you doing in Earth-1610?

Gwen: I should ask you the same question

Miles: I live here

Gwen: I should ask you a different question

Jeff: You think someone planted this on the body?

Miles *as Spider-Man*: No, I think someone put it there on purpose

Jeff: That’s what I said

Miles: But mine wasn’t a question, so it came from a place of power

Miguel: I need to get something off my chest

Lyla: Is it your shirt? Please say no

Miles: I’m a man of untold mystery, that’s why my friends call me ‘M’

Gwen: Really? I thought they called you ‘Millimeter’

Miles: Don’t ever say that name. Besides, I know it was you who started that

Miguel: It has come to my attention that a major financial institution has been destroyed in each of your last four missions

Hobie: Thank you

Miguel: That wasn’t a compliment

Miles: Great, now you’ve gotten me kicked out of a funeral. Add it to the list. Kicked out of a pet store, kicked out of Santa’s Village, kicked out of the Salvation Army

Peter B: Dishonorably discharged!

Pav: *leaning well into Hobie’s personal space and whispering* …are you doing anything Friday?

Hobie: You want me to come with you to awkward class?

Gwen: What part of “stay put” is confusing to you?

Miles: The “put” part. I wasn’t “put” in the first place, the whole expression is a complete disaster

Miles: Gwen, that group of Spider-People just said hi to you

Gwen: Uh, I don’t know those guys

Miles: They looked right at you

Gwen: They were mistaken

Miles: They said ‘Hi, Gwen.’ Then the dude on the horse gave you a half-nod!