#incorrect chani quotes

[tokoyamisstuff]

[letsduneit]

paul, late at night: hey chani would you love me if i was a worm chani, whose dad was an ecologist: well, worm brains don't always produce hormones to induce love. a better question would be whether or not you would love me if you were a worm. paul, who keeps having worrying visions of a worm-man hybrid: don't play with me right now please just answer the question-

[is-it-bussin-hannibal]

Dune incorrect quotes

[demigoddessqueens]

this feels canon to me

Paul: here’s to the love of my life, my soulmate, my heart of 5000 years, the mother of my legacy!

everyone on Arrakis: ….

Paul: and then here’s to my wife, Irulan

[ragsforless]

Dune crack!au (1)

Paul: May thy knife chip and shatter-

Feyd: *starts singing* 🎶In another life, I would be your girl🎶

Paul: What?

Feyd: 🎶We keep all our promises, be us against the world🎶

Paul: I’m so confused right now.

Irulan: And I’m recording this.

Feyd: 🎶In another life, I would make you stay🎶

Chani: NGL, he has a great voice.

Stilgar: True.

Irulan: *is still recording* You’re doing great, Feyd!

Paul: Shouldn’t we be fighting-

Chani: Shush, Paul! Let him finish.

Paul: But-

Feyd: 🎶So I don't have to say you were the one that got away, The one that got away🎶

Paul:. . .

Jessica:. . .

Feyd: So how’s my singing?😀

Chani: I approve! You’re going to be our concubine number 2!

Feyd: Nice.

Irulan: Oh, great. A new roommate.

Stilgar: As written.

Paul: What?!

Jessica: I did not see that coming.

Mohiam: I did.

[machinel1ke]

Paul: I've learned some valuable lessons from this Chani: I'm assuming they're all horrible distortions of the lessons you should've learned Paul: Death isn't real, and I'm basically God

[elvencantation]

Chani: I-

Paul: when it comes to this relationship, there is no 'I', only 'we'

Chani: okay, 'we' are bisexual

Paul: damn right we are

[derp-atreides]

paul: may thy knife chip and shatter

feyd-rautha: oh. ahem... (why am i getting a boner NOW) may thy teeth chip and thy ass get fatter?

paul: WHAT THE-

chani: *just wheezing on the floor*

irulan: oh here we fuckin go again

[bullshitcharacterssay]

Chani: Babe, you're so funny!

Paul: We have 1492 days until your tragic premature death. You will break my trust three times before that happens, but I forgive you.

Chani: Awwww, that's sweet of you!

[demon-of-the-ancient-world]

Chani: You're not ascending to godhood you're just dehydrated Paul: Outta my way gayboy I'm boutta liberate my divine self from this mortal shell Paul, one knife fight later: hopital

[guardianreadersofthegalaxy]

Paul: You know my middle name's actually Mitchell. I never thought much about it but suddenly it's so obvious... Chani: What is? Paul: Surely you see it? 'Mitchell'? or... 'Myth Child'! 'Paul the Child of Myth'. Like I'm the messiah Chani: Oh fuck off Paul: The Myth Child forgives you. [from That Mitchell & Webb Look]

[incorrectevangelionquotes]

[letsduneit]

paul, at 4am: do you ever think the wind is trying to tell us something we don't know how to hear anymore? chani, covering her face with her pillow: i just want you to stop saying odd shit for one night

[random-incorrect-things]

Rowoon: *casually taking four stairs at a time*

Chani, falling behind, taking two stairs at a time: Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fu-

[lilianrennifer]

Rowoon: Did Chani just tell me he loved me for the first time?

Hwiyoung: Yeah, he did.

Rowoon: And did I do finger guns back?

Hwiyoung: Yeah, you did.

[ragsforless]

Dune crack!au (5)

Feyd: Hey, Paul.

Paul: No.

Feyd: Husband dear?

Paul: Fine. What do you want now?

Feyd: Can I have my knives back?

Paul: No.

Feyd: Pretty please?

Paul: Still no.

Feyd: It’s been 2 months! I want my precious Giedi Prime knives back-

Paul: Not until you say sorry to Gurney and Stilgar.

Feyd: I did nothing wrong! I’m innocent!

Paul: You deliberately stole all of their clothes and made them into freaking tents and curtains!

Feyd: Actually, it was our dear

Princess Irulan who stole them.

Paul: That’s not the point!

Feyd: The point is that I, the gorgeous Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen was the one who made the sparkly sand proof tents and curtains-

Paul: Ugh. Muad’Dib, help me.

Feyd: My Lankiveil sewing skills are superior to-

Paul: F*ck your stupid Lankiveil sewing skills! Tell Gurney that you’re sorry right now!

Feyd: It was extremely hot and Irulan and I needed new curtains!

Paul: You could’ve just asked me for new ones instead of stealing Gurney’s galactic underpants-

Feyd: And ruin our yearly budget?! Our monthly savings?! The Arrakeen economy?! Not on my watch, husband. Not on my watch!

Paul: Feyd, babe, calm down-

Feyd: I want my knives back, Paul!

Paul: Give me one good reason-

Feyd: My daddy gave them to me.

Paul: Apologize first!

Feyd: I’m your wife!

Paul: And I’m the Emperor of the known universe!

Feyd: Fine! keep them! Burn them! Throw them away! I don’t care!

Paul: Feyd, listen-

Feyd: But I’m telling Irulan that you’re abusing your powers again.

Paul: No, not her! Don’t tell her-

Feyd: Irulan! Irulan, Paul is being a tyrannical control freak again!

Irulan: *runs in* Feyd, babe, are we in trouble?!

Feyd: Muad’Dib, no.

Irulan: Did our husband find out about our “math” business with Stilgar and his Fremen friends?!

Feyd: No, not yet.

Irulan: Oh, thank Muad’Dib.

Paul: But I’m Muad’Dib-

Feyd: Paul said that he’ll cancel our super secret ✨Music Nights with Shai-Hulud✨ and exclusive ✨Desert Festivals✨ again!

Irulan: *glares at Paul* You evil tyrant, how could you?!

Paul: I- I love ✨Music Nights with Shai-Hulud✨!

Feyd: You don’t even sing!

Paul: I do! I swear I do!

Irulan: Oh, stop changing the freaking subject, Paul!

Paul: Last I’ve checked, we’re still on the same page!

Irulan: You promised me that Feyd and I can sing freely in the desert with Stilgar every other night!

Feyd: Our dear husband also told me that the members of House Corrino are just a bunch of nerdy losers!

Paul: I- I was drunk!

Irulan: Chani! Chani, Paul is abusing his witchy powers again!

Chani: *walks in* Yo, what’s up, losers? How’s life?

Irulan: Our “beloved” husband said that your desert hair sucks!

Chani: He did not-

Irulan: He did!

Feyd: We’re telling the truth.

Paul: Chani bear, we all know that our dear “Drunk Irulan” and “Freaky Feyd-Rautha” are clearly lying-

Irulan: Drunk Irulan?! Who the f*ck is Drunk Irulan?!

Chani: Lol.

Feyd: Chani bear, your “Paular bear” also told me that you smell like a dying Shai-Hulud.

Chani: A what?!

Feyd: A dying ugly ass Shai-Hulud.

Paul: Chani-

Chani: Somebody is sleeping with the sandworms tonight!

Feyd: Yeah! The sandworms!

Irulan: Let’s go sandworms!

Paul: Ughhhh! I knew it! I knew I should’ve stayed single.